Giggly Squad
Hosted by Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo
Hannah shares her second biggest announcement of the year and Paige started Heated Rivalry. subscribe to our newsletter shop merch get our book
13,237 words · 6 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
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I was thinking about how women have so many little things we have to do when we're getting home that you have to be aware of.
Like so many people have my location.
And you have to share your ETA, you have to check the route, you have to text everyone I'm home.
And if your friend like doesn't text you, "Oh, you got home," you're, you're calling the FBI.
Yep, yep. And we joke about it because it's so normal to us, but you're constantly paying attention. Even when you're exhausted and just want to get home, your brain still has to be on. You're like, is this guy going the right route? Am I in the right place? Who's around me? What's happening?
Yeah, there's truly no clocking out of your safety.
And that's why riding in a Waymo feels different. It's an autonomous ride with an empty driver's seat. So once you get in, you have this private space that's actually just yours.
And you know, I love alone time and I truly feel like it's such a luxury in a Waymo.
Especially after being social, like I love everyone, but like.
Please, nobody speak to me.
Like, give me 20 minutes. I want music, the right temperature. There's no compromising and you can customize the ride, put on your own music, answer texts you ignored all night, stare out the window. You actually have a minute where you're not thinking about everyone else.
And that's the thing, it's not even necessarily about doing something. Sometimes it's just, you want to sit there and not speak.
And put your guard down for a second and feel safe.
Which truly women deserve.
We deserve to disassociate safely for 20 minutes.
Yeah, I mean, put that on a t-shirt for real.
And obviously, safety is a huge part of why that feeling matters. Knowing Waymo's safer, there's something refreshing in having that space where you can just be yourself and let Waymo handle the driving.
And we spend enough of our lives being on.
Exactly.
We don't need to be on in the car.
Getting around shouldn't require so much mental energy. And if this sounds like your ideal way to get around too, download the Waymo app and use code GIGLY to get 20% off your next two rides. You can check out the full terms in the app.
We love a discount.
And if Waymo isn't in your city yet, head to waymo.com/gigly to sign up and help bring Waymo to you.
Sup, gigglers?
Gary, fix your wifi.
Manifest that shit.
We can't be managed.
I mean, the day just got away from me.
What is up, my glorious gigglers? It's the end of the year, it's an awkward time in between Christmas and New Year's where no one knows what to do with their hands.
You know, one thing I've realized, first of all, Hannah and I just stared at each other for two minutes and then Hannah goes, "Are you waiting for me?" And I said, "You start the pod every week, why?" Anyway, you know what I've realized? Other pods have like seasons. Like, "Thanks so much for this season." And we're like, "What?"
No, other people do like four episodes and they're like, "See you next season."
I'm like, "Wait, how'd you, how, what are you guys doing?" Don't you go, I go crazy, like this whole week.
This is a lifestyle.
I need to talk to Hannah about this.
This is a branded cult that we do every week. I don't care what's going on in our lives. But you told me, you're like, "Just start the pod and go with it." What do we do, what's happening? I'm scared.
Just go with it.
Oh, like you just wanted to start the pod.
Let's start with, how was your Christmas?
Oh my god, great question. It was magical because I blackmailed my brother and his wife to come to New York.
I saw that.
From Indiana. And when I tell you, I have no self-control when it comes to being an aunt. Lois realized that she could ask me for presents at any time and she will get it. So she just kept coming up to me looking so fucking cute and being like, can I open another present? This is the 22nd, by the way. Like, this is, she's celebrating Hanukkah at this point. Like, she just gave me another present? So I'm like, okay, because you know I got her like three million.
She's like, what's for, what's for Kwanzaa? Why?
Every time she went up to me, she was like, wouldn't it be crazy if you gave me, if you gave me another present? Like, right now? Would that be crazy? And I'm just like, yeah, don't tell mom. And then my brother found out I've been giving her presents. He's like, that's literally ruining the whole thing. But when I went shopping for a three-year-old is so fun because I went into a toy store and the guy was like-
Which like, do they exist? What toy store?
I went to one in West Hampton and I walked in and the guy was like, hey, how are you? And I said, good. He goes, age and, and interests? And I said, great question. Three years old, mermaids, sparkles, purple. If there's no sparkle, she gets very upset. And he goes, okay, we got this, this, this. Like, literally recommending it like an influencer. He's like, this is amazing. The kids are loving this.
No, bring back mom and pop toy stores. Like, I-
Yes. Support the small communities.
You can't even really find good toys online.
I do have to say, it's so much more fulfilling going into a store, looking at all the toys, touching them, shaking them, listening to them and being like, she's gonna lose her mind at this. Um, some toys, some toys are uniquely complicated. I got her this, like, manicure set. Couldn't figure out how to do it. She figured it out. She said, Hannah, you're a quitter. You have to stop quitting. Um, so I just had so much fun being the aunt that was spoiling her little nieces and nephews.
Christmas is so much better when there's little kids around, you know?
When there's no little kids, it's kind of creepy.
It's kind of- No, it's low key creepy. This was the first year. This was the first year my brother left on Christmas Day and went to like his girlfriend's family.
I'm so sorry. That's really traumatic. That's traumatic.
No, Hannah, it was actually so traumatic. I like looked at my parents and I was like, so what should we do?
No, when you're the lone one left, you're just like, how y'all doing?
It's also, there's something about, like, when I go home, I can't not be 16 years old. Like, like, it's actually so annoying. Like, I get so mad at myself, but it's like, right when I go over the threshold, I immediately turn into a brat. I do nothing, okay? Like, I bring home my vi- I bring my vitamins, I bring my skincare. I don't even do that because I'm like, what is time? When is dinner?
There was a TikTok by that guy Brett Nystrom, who's so funny, and he was joking about that and how you're just like, "Mom, can I have like some water?" And she's like, "You can get it." And it's like, "No, I'm sitting on the couch right now and I have a blanket on me. I can't get up."
No, I literally was like, "Dad, would it be crazy if you poured me a Diet Coke on ice?" Like, that was all I said the whole time.
You're literally lowest to me. Wouldn't it be crazy?
And my mom, like, my mom saw one quote and so like, wouldn't stop saying it the entire fucking holiday. She was like, "Every holiday is unique and you have to cherish every holiday because it's unique." And I was like, "I'm gonna fucking kill you."
That's what Marilyn Monroe said. Thank you, Kim, for raising awareness of joy.
Me and my mom both got each other sentimental gifts this year, which I just felt like was very, like, we were so telepathic because usually her and I are the ones that will like get each other like, some type of clothes thing. Like, I usually get her a coat or like a pair of boots or something. And she has this like joke with me that like every mom gets a robe. Like, oh, like everyone lists like all their presents. I think it was like an SNL skit at some point. Like, everyone's like, "I got a watch, I got this and blah, blah, blah." And every mom's like, "I got a robe." So I always get her a robe.
So I get her a robe every year. And then she had one of my grandma's antique chairs that I love. Reupholstered into like baby blue velvet, which is my favorite.
Oh, my god.
It was so sweet. And then I got her a picture of her and I.
As you should.
Blown up like from a photography photo shoot. She was like, where am I putting this? I'm like, in the foyer.
It's a cardboard cutout of you, just all over the house.
It's a family photo of the two most important family members.
I do have to say, as feminists, what I love to do during the holiday season to like be at the forefront of feminism is any traditional roles that women play in the household, especially a female family, Italian family. Yeah. Excuse me, like when I, when we're all finished eating and you know, the women just naturally stand up and start picking up the plates.
Yeah.
I stay sat.
Wow.
And I look at, I look at the men and I said, can you take my plate, please? And then if I get any pushback, I said, I own this house.
As some, as someone who doesn't live in a feminist household at all.
By the way, my mom did everything, but continue.
I literally, I'm thirty.
I'm trying to change generational trauma.
I'm, I'm so right there with you. I'm thirty three years old. I'm still not even allowed to wash the dishes. I can only dry. So that is my job at every family gathering. Paige dries all the dishes.
I don't think it matters, like if you bought something or not, however, like Thanksgiving once, like I bought all the catering. And I was like, I'm not cleaning up after I bought the catering. It's like, I'm fine if you guys are like, oh, we bought it. So you guys clean up, then we're gonna reverse it. Also, I do have to say, my mom and my dad do have a very, very, they are, they are a good team. So my mom will cook and he's immediately cleaning, immediately cleaning.
A test of a marriage because like.
They're incredible.
My mom always toasts and I'll always catch my dad and her, just her and my dad, like in the kitchen. Like they don't know anyone's listening and I'll always catch my dad be like, good job, Kim. You did a really good job this year. Like, and I'm like, oh my. That is so sweet. She's like, you think so? Oh, thanks. That's so nice.
Is Gary Senior good at getting Kim gifts?
No.
Okay.
My dad is famously the worst gift giver to my mom. She literally is like, just get me something from a spa. Just get me a massage, get me a facial, that's all I need. And he goes to places and gets convinced by the salesperson that he needs to buy something. They don't know my mom. Today, this, this one, he bought her like a corduroy jacket and she was like, why the fuck? She doesn't curse, but that's what she was saying with her eyes. Why the fuck would you think I want this? She's not big on the curse bomb. She's, she says it with her eyes. And we all just start laughing because again, like, men buying women clothes is such a risk and he like keeps doing it and we keep saying, don't do that unless it's something sentimental. Get her a classic like spa certificate.
Yeah, that's such an easy one. It is. I don't know why for whatever this year, I don't know, maybe it's because we're getting older or if it was just like in social media this year. I really feel like there was such an emphasis on like Christmas magic is just your mom. Like, it's like, oh, this year doesn't have Christmas magic. And it's like, okay, well, that's because you're in your twenties and your mom is older. Like it's, and it's such a crazy shift to think like.
Yeah, but that age group where you don't have little kids, when it's just you and like, no one is excited really about Santa. You wake up, you're like, oh, Santa, huh huh. It's, it's an awkward age.
I will say this year, I have had like the same mattress in my bedroom at home since I was in like high school. Like it's just like, I needed a new mattress. So I was like, you know what, mom? Like I'm going to order a new mattress. I'm going to order just like, I needed a new bed frame. I'm just going to like slowly kind of like redo that room.
And like, nothing crazy. I'm not like going in and like total, I'm just, I just got a new bed. And she like came up to me and said something like, "Oh, well, when you have a baby." And I immediately was like, "A baby? Like, that baby's not going in my room."
The baby's taking your room, Cam.
I'm like, "This is my room. Like, what baby?" And she's like, "I mean..."
It is so cute that she's kept, she's kept your room exactly the same. Cause a lot of parents, they turn it into, you know, a little gym, a workroom.
No, I go home too much to like not have a room and I would feel so...
I would feel so violated.
As we learned a couple of weeks ago, my nana never had a room, but I digress.
I digress.
I digress. Um, I do have to say I did pretty good with Dez's gifts, which I've had some rough goes in the past. But he's, he's like obsessed with Severance and I saw on Amazon, there's the book, um, The U U R, which is like the book from the show.
And so I literally bought him the book. So he's like a nerd and he thought that was funny.
Wait, that's so sweet. If anyone ever got me a book, I'd be fucking livid. Unless it's How to Giggle.
I know. And I was giving How to Giggle out to everyone. They're like, "I already bought it." And I'm like, "Here's a How to Giggle." Um, but then also he doesn't drink and we went to his restaurant once. Basically non-alcoholic, like drinks are becoming like very cool. Like a sparkling tea, like a Norwegian whatever. And he said he liked it and I, I wrote it down like a good girlfriend. Cause he's my boyfriend. And I got him the sparkling tea and you would have thought it was like, he was gonna rage that night. So he was like chugging his sparkling tea, reading the book.
I actually, one of my cousins told me this year at Christmas dinner, she was like, "I just found out that I'm like allergic to alcohol." And I was like, "Wait, I should go get tested for that?" Because I...
You love getting tested for things.
I love getting tested for things. No, I love getting tested for things. Oh, update on my UTI. I got, no Hannah, you have no idea how many screenshots I have of DMs. First of all, it's astonishing.
I'm getting them.
It's astonishing the amount of gigglers that are doctors.
It's actually worrisome. It's quite worrisome.
I'm like, wait, and you listen to me, bitch. You're so much smarter than me. I had so, I have so many screenshots of what gigglers have said to me that I, because I was like, I'm never gonna be able to find these DMs again. I have to screenshot all of them.
A bunch of girls were like, hey, urologist is great, but that's really for men. You need to go, right? I'm like, what?
You're so mad right now.
I was so mad. And they were like, you need to go to a urologist gynecologist. I didn't even know that was a fucking thing. So I was like, oh, okay, then I'm not going to a urologist wasting my time and his. I need to find a urologist gynecologist.
Isn't that just a gynec, oh no.
No, she's, no, they specialize in like urology.
Gynecology, yes. So. Well, I keep getting DMs and it's like, please send this to Paige. And at first I'm like, do I have to? And then I'm like, what if this is the advice that changes her life?
We're so dramatic.
I texted you one. I was like, I think this is it. And you were like, calm down. I was like, what if the answer is in my DMs and I didn't forward it to you?
You are Lenore. You're literally slowly turning into Lenore.
I don't want that kind of karma. Like, I don't need that.
That's actually so cute.
Wait, I, I also have a new ick. Like, this is the craziest ick I've ever gotten. The fact that his parents made him.
No, I have an ick. That's disgusting.
Wait, okay, okay. That's like a little broad. That's a little broad, but like, you're saying like him as a child?
No, like that he was like a sperm and then it was like, they, they literally one day were like,
Don't be conceived.
Hooked up. That's so.
If you're a guy, don't be.
Like, he was nothing and then his parents made him. Like, he wouldn't be here if his parents didn't have sex. Like, that's disgusting.
I've been seeing, I saw a lot of people getting engaged like on Christmas, like on TikTok, like people that like, and here's the other thing, half the time I don't know if it's a skit or not, but the only time I'm, I'm literally 95 years old. I have to go in the comments. I'm like, is this a skit? The amount of women I've seen proposing to men.
I was like, this has to be a skit. There's just no way. There was one comment and it was like, "Girl, stand up." Because she was like, she was kneeling down proposing and this girl was just, the comment was just, "Girl, stand up." I was like, what is going on? That is insane.
But I wonder if it's super traditional, like, he's gonna take care of the household and he, like, maybe she's...
Even if they say they are, do they?
I know. They're not gonna do it as well as, like, someone else. Like, they don't have the heart.
No, you gotta have a heart to, like, I just, like, I couldn't imagine ever...
Well, because I wouldn't ever wonder, like, would he have proposed to me?
Well, yeah, and I can't imagine as a man being, like, comfortable getting proposed to. Like, she literally just called you a beta bitch without saying, saying it.
I thought you were gonna say beta blocker.
No, I would need a beta blocker. If someone said you have to propose, I'd be like, what?
I did see one of those videos and it was in front of the whole family.
Yeah, it was probably the one I saw.
Maybe it was a lavender marriage.
You just can't judge. You don't know people's dynamics.
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They're so cute and I'm already envisioning my next outfit. Straight leg jeans, an oversized blazer and a little shoulder bag. Very, I just threw this on when we all know I absolutely did not. And Hannah is loving hers too. She has the Michaela, which is the Sam Edelman's take on a Mary Jane. And this season it comes in the chicest leopard. So gorge, so easy and exactly the kind of shoe that makes an otherwise basic outfit look like you actually tried. And there's so much more coming from Sam Edelman this fall beyond these two. Like the new Teigan and Tallulah pumps, plus ready to wear handbags, fragrances, and even a new men's collection. So basically you can make sure both you and your man are looking good for date night. Because we're not doing all that getting dressed just to let him show up in a t-shirt.
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I was thinking about how last year, this exact episode is the episode where... It's just crazy how things change in a year.
I know.
Before we recorded this episode, I was like, oh my God, last year at this time, I was probably like shaking, had to take a beta, because I was about to say that like, I broke up, like I'm going through a breakup. And it was this episode, and I'm literally, I was like in my childhood bedroom, which is where I recorded it. And I was thinking about it again this year when I was home for Christmas. And I was like, first of all, how dramatic? How dramatic?
You were not being dramatic, it was the time.
But it's just crazy, like you think of things and you're like, oh my God, that was a year ago. And I feel so insanely different, like obviously from a whole year.
And I feel like I get like so many DMs from girls like I'm going through a breakup like how how do you go through a breakup? And I also get a lot of girls like in my DMs being like I think I should break up with my boyfriend, but I don't know if it's the right time. Like, how do you know if it's right or not?
I love how you've become the breakup artist.
I'm like, guys, I have no freaking idea.
If you feel the need to DM Paige to ask her about your boyfriend, it's break up with him.
It's done. Honestly, that, Hannah, thank you.
If you click on her profile, that means you should break up with him.
You say, I'm gonna just see what Paige thinks real quick. You don't want to date him anymore.
You hate him. He's gay.
And so I like, I get so many girls, and I feel like one of the reasons for me, I was always thinking about like the aftermath, like, oh, my God, what's gonna happen after? What are people gonna say? Like, blah, blah, blah. And I feel like that like made me freeze, like I was frozen for so long with the fear of that. And it's such a waste of time because, one, nothing could even happen, or, I mean, I couldn't have cooked up in my head what happened this year. So it's like, don't let that, it was 10 times worse than what I was imagining. Okay, so don't even worry about it's gonna be way worse. Just pull the trigger.
But it's, pull the trigger is right. You were in fight or flight, but you weren't fighting and you weren't flighting. You were just like, you were stuck, and the truth is, is moving is the best thing you could do, because then there'll be a different issue at least.
Nope. Then there will be a different issue.
Don't get stuck with the same issue that's boring.
I might as well have seen rumors that I was a drug dealer. I was like, I can make that more plausible than what you're saying currently.
Move the plot line of your life. Keep moving it. I always felt, though, like, once I was over a guy, I felt like I was, I was gonna throw up, like, and every time I talked to him, I felt like I was about to say, like, I don't want to be with you anymore. So like, you were much better at, you're like a cat, actually, where they say a cat can be really sick, but they won't show it. And no one knows that they're sick. Where a dog will be like, bleh, bleh, bleh.
Shitting everywhere, bombing.
Yeah, so that's me where I'm, I literally am like, I don't care what's on the other side. It'll be, at least it'll be different than what I'm feeling now, which is not sustainable. Where you're like, I think I can manage this for a couple of years.
And I feel like it also forced me into like, this year, I really feel like I was forced into learning the lesson of like, let people be wrong about you, which is uncomfortable and like frustrating, which I hate. But I feel like because I was on reality TV, I could never learn that, like I couldn't let people be wrong about me. Because it was like, I was getting asked about it all the time and it was like, so like now, when I see anything about myself and it's like an uncomfortable feeling of like, okay, well, that's not true or like, what the hell is that? It's more like being comfortable, being like, okay, well, you're like wrong about me. And I feel like this summer was the first summer in seven years that I didn't have anyone being like,
what are, what's every thought you're having and tell us everything and what's going on? And so it was just like a very transformative year in that sense. And then even to the point of like, when I did start seeing someone, I felt like I couldn't even say anything. Because it was like, I had a group of ops, like filming a TV show and I'll like, I obviously wasn't telling them any personal information about my life. Cause like, when people are so committed, no seriously, when people are so committed to hating you.
Their full-time job, their full-time job.
You're like, okay, well, I can't even give an ounce of personal information. Cause you'll run with it and twist it and change it. And it's like, so crazy. So.
That's why I don't talk about my relationship, except like on Giggly Squad, the little things that I feel the gigglers will laugh at.
It was just, yeah, it was just like such an interesting year. Cause I feel like we did so many things professionally, which were amazing. And then personally, I was just like, I felt like I was really learning like a lot of lessons that I wouldn't have been able to learn and complete without leaving reality TV.
Oof, look at you being so reflective. I'm obsessed with that.
Well, even just like getting into a summer where you're like, wait a minute, I don't have to spill my guts.
Or if you don't spill everything, you're considered like evil.
If you want to protect yourself at all, you're like a bad person.
Right, and if you don't like explain everything or like talk about every single rumor, it's like, okay, but then I'm giving people who are making things up about me, control, like I'm not, no, like fuck that, say whatever you want about me, I don't give a shit.
I think you got to the point with reality TV where they just force you to have opinions on so many things that you regularly would not have opinions on and you get you're just like, I don't want to talk about other people's lives to this extent.
Yeah, there was like a certain amount of emotional growth that I was like, I, I don't think I'm feeling things that I should be feeling at, at my age. Do you know what I mean?
So true.
Like I still mentally felt in my twenties and I was like, I'm turning thirty-three, like.
Well, you're, you're stuck in something, you're stuck in another, you're stuck in a storyline, yes.
Yes.
Honey.
And I was like, okay, gotta go.
I, I do kind of love though you saying like being okay with being misunderstood as a people pleaser. That was really hard for me, but I think you realize, oh, people are gonna go out of their way to misunderstand you.
And no matter how hard you try, so it's like, do you want to have a losing battle? With people who like, you could literally be Mother Teresa and they'll be like, I don't like how she did that.
And so it's like, do you want to have your whole life be you trying to, it's like with friends, trying to get people to like you who decided before they met you, they don't like you.
Right, and it's like the over explaining, and I really was thinking about it too, because I'm like, I'm sure a lot of people feel like this around the holidays when they're with their families. Like having to over explain who you're dating, what your job is, like just different things, and that's what like really made me think about it and I was just like, no, like be wrong about me and I feel like that is like a part of growing up, like you don't have to explain every single thing and you don't have to like make people like, you don't have to tell people why they should like you, that it's none of your business, you know?
I mean, mine was also a little different because there was like rumors that were just like categorically false, but I was like, fuck it. I don't give a shit.
It's very violating feeling and I think everyone's dealt with like rumors and stuff about them, but it always stems from something that doesn't have to do with you, is what I've learned.
Liter- literally.
It's always people projecting their shit on you and you represent something to them, which as two people who don't shut up, like we do, we are, we get in the firing squad every now and then. I mean, yeah, like this last year, I had tons of ups and downs. I have to say, there was something about your notes, like we all write a lot of notes.
Do you ever accidentally like scroll down to your notes from like 2017? And I literally had like a list of funny videos I wanted to make. And like, in that moment, no, I almost cried because I was like, I'm looking at these videos and I'm like, I was just so excited to try to make people laugh. I didn't know what the fuck was about to happen in my life.
Like when we started Giggly Squad?
Pre-gig, pre-Summer House.
You're saying personally. Okay, sorry.
But if you look, my notes like literally are my journal, my notes on my phone. Where you see like the stuff I was brainstorming, the stuff that I was just like doing during the week, just any weird numbers, but it was, it's so interesting to scroll through your notes app. Also a little up, a big life update for me. Maybe my second biggest of the year. The first one was the driver's license. I went to Verizon yesterday and I got off the family plan. No, I know, it took an hour. It took a full hour of customer service. My hands were sweating. If you guys know me, I hate admin. Dez literally was like.
So just you and Dez on a plan?
Me, so, no, I know. And I was like, he's not my emergency contact. They were like, no, no, no. I said, okay, just check. Just checking, just checking. But my, my parents, I was still on my parents' plan because it's like so difficult to get off it.
And my dad was just like, I guess, like billing me each month, skimming some off the top, who knows?
Yeah, who knows?
Who knows? And so finally I'm off it. Dez and I are on a, a family plan together now. So like, it's kind of serious.
I actually think that's more serious than emergency contact.
Are you still on your family plan?
Sure I am.
Yeah, okay, I, I felt like it's a thing.
Well, I'm gonna start a family plan with myself.
You and Daphne? You could join ours if you want. I don't know if that's legal, actually, but it was, I don't know.
Wait, do you have to actually be in the same family to have a family plan?
I'm like, that's my best friend.
Right, like that's.
That's family.
Yeah, like how would you prove it? Just be like, oh, well, she has a different last name because she got married.
They didn't even ask for like a relationship.
Wait, yeah, that's so one, that's so interesting.
Very interesting. I don't know the technicalities, but like Dez and I literally physically went to a Verizon store. I took a deep breath and I was like, fuck me up fam. And I survived it and I got the new, I had an iPhone thirteen. Now I have an iPhone seventeen.
How's the camera? Yeah.
It's really good.
It is.
I just took like a pic, photo of my cat so far, but it was really, really good photo. And finally, I learned, it actually does work if you download shows before you go on a plane.
I thought you made that up.
Wow, twenty twenty-six is like, my friends are realizing things.
I thought that you just said that so you didn't have to talk to me on the plane.
No, that's like a real thing. It really works.
And I watched Mormon Wives. Well, I'm, I'm in the Whitney lore and I wanted to see what was going on. Can I talk shit?
Yeah, sure.
Since we're getting into it. Whenever you see a drama of someone not showing up to a party, it's so fucking produced, I can't deal with it.
The fact that, you know Whitney was like, "Oh, I'm not really close to Taylor anymore. Also, she spread a lot of rumors about me." Obviously, the producers made it really chill with Whitney, like, "Yeah, you don't have to go." You know that they weren't like, "This is a huge deal. Everyone's gonna be mad." They definitely were like, "Yeah, some people aren't coming. You don't have to go. I know you're mad at Taylor. You don't have to." And she was like, "Sure, okay. I have a family. I'll watch them today." And then all the girls show up, and then they make the mom call Whitney, and Whitney's like, "I've never talked to her on the phone before at all." Like, it's so fucking made up. The mom's like, doesn't even know who Whitney is, and she's like, "How could you not come to my..." Like, it's literally so made up. And then all the girls are like, "Oh, where's Whitney? Oh, where's Whitney?" I'm like, "This should win an Oscar. This is amazing." And the fact that America turned on her, starting on that.
No, okay, sometimes I will be watching a reality TV show, and I'm like, "Shoot, we make fun of the men so bad for watching the WWE."
When in reality, sometimes the thing, we're watching the girl version of WWE sometimes.
By the way, I fully support reality TV. I don't support people watching a show and like, believing that a person is that evil. As they're trying to, no, like, no, and that everyone else is like, "God is angels." And one person is like, evil, just like, putting fire on everyone. So anyway, that's my two cents about that. What have you been, oh, what?
Oh, I was gonna say one more thing that I forgot to say, that I wanted to say. Since I feel like this is our new thing, like, every December, right before New Year's, we just have like, an unhinged episode. So something else happened to me during the year that I couldn't say in like, real time, but I think it's like, it's not funny. But it's like, there is a part that is funny. So I was dealing with like, a stalker situation, like, nothing really crazy, but also like...
Kind of had to get like people involved to the point where at some point I had to go into a police station. So I'm walking.
No. No, I'm so stressed.
The admin, I got a text message and it was like, I think it's time for you to file a police report and I go.
File a police report? Does that, what? They'd be like, what's your full name? And I'm like, I can't do this. I literally can't do this. What's your date of birth? I don't know.
So I don't even think I told you this story. So I'm walking to the police station and like, I'm nervous. I'm like going over like the story in my head. I'm like, okay, and I have to show them this and this and this and blah, blah, blah. And so I walk in there and I'm thinking like straight SVU. Papers are gonna be flying, phone's gonna be ringing off the hook, someone's gonna be in handcuffs like yelling and I'm like bracing myself.
A police siren's gonna go off.
Something's happening in there. I opened the door. You could hear a pin drop. Nobody's even in there. There was maybe like two people in the back. I go up to the window, like up to the lady, I like tell her my whole story and she like looks at me and she's like, yeah, um, we'll keep like basically like you're being dramatic, we'll keep an eye on it type thing.
But in my head, all like, here's the other thing, all I wanted to do was tell the gigglers, but I was like, this is just like not safe, like.
It's obviously like under control now and I like have a handle on the situation. But the way that the movies and TV shows, I actually laughed pissed. I was like, okay, so it's, it's not like SVU at all.
You have to start watching documentaries, girl, because no one listens to anyone. No one, no one's listening to anything and everything is done wrong.
I was like, I feel like you're not taking this seriously. I like retold my story. I was like, no, but listen to this part.
Or people will file reports about like.
Honestly.
Serious things and no one will like flag it like this is could escalate.
I'm gonna be honest, the best like my doormen, my doormen in my building, like I was like told them the whole story, told like the police situation, printed out a picture of the person like hung it up in the wall, like anytime I like had to leave, they would like walk me out, look both ways. One time, one of my doormen got in my Uber and said, let me see your face because I was nervous that the person that was, well, my mom got me nervous that the person that was stalking me was gonna sign up for Uber and then become my Uber driver. We got into a real spiral like a while ago, a couple months ago. But anyway, I was been like dying to tell this on the pod, but I like I legitimately couldn't. So anyway, stay safe out there, girls.
You got a guy to resolve it on.
Yeah, I got it.
Essentially, it's taken care of.
We're not gonna, we're not gonna.
Yeah, but look, NYPD was busy, took situation into my own hands. We're all good. No one's gonna be bothering me for a while.
I got a friend in Sicily that you know, deals with this stuff. He specializes in it, so.
Watch your fucking back.
Well, I'm really, really, really, really sorry that you had to go through that.
Thank you. No, it was honestly like a transformative year. I feel so, I just feel like we had the best year.
Yeah. No, totally. And I think the year wasn't like easy. It had a ton of ups and downs, but I feel like we were, we're like more equipped to deal with adversity.
We became New York Times bestselling authors.
I totally forgot.
No, I literally forgot. Like I was looking back at my pictures and I was like, oh my God, yeah, me and Hannah played at Radio City in January.
I do have to say, I think it's a little annoying on my feed when people are like best moments of 2025. And then they post like, I did this, I did this, I did this, I did this, suck my dick.
I posted one of those.
No, you posted best outfits.
On TikTok, I posted best moments of.
Everything I did.
Cause Paige.
You wanna know what though? Mine is outfit focused. I'm showing all those. Oh, so you give me a pass. Other people are bragging.
People are like, super, super braggy.
No, other people brag about it. I don't. I'm just literally showing my outfit.
You use it as a vehicle to show your outfits through video. Cause I just feel like it can make people feel bad. Cause I'm like, it's just also like, a lot of these people accomplished a lot of things, but like, they were miserable the whole time. I just wanna raise awareness about that. Were you hap- like, you know, like?
Like.
Was I happy? No.
Like, I just feel like sometimes.
That's so true. And I feel like that is why I love Giggly Squad because after we do. No, because like, okay, after we did Jimmy Fallon, anyone could have looked at those pictures and been like, amazing. Little did they know, we almost passed out behind the curtain like prior to. So like, yeah, there's a lot of things that you do that are cool, but I'm like, I almost died.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. A hundred percent. So when you're seeing other people's year interview, I almost posted a funny one that was like, I grew up my nails like Guinness Book of World Records, like long with the gel still on. That was pretty crazy. But like, driver's license is honestly like my biggest.
That was a really big accomplishment. Speaking of accomplishments, I saw this, actually, I don't even know if it's real. Oh my God, I literally, I can't even go on the internet anymore.
You did send me an AI cat thing.
Yeah, well, that I knew was fake.
I saw this thing that, um, it was like a story about Michelle and Barack Obama and it said that.
I wrote that down too. We both had the same note for the first time ever.
That Barack Obama said to Michelle that he ran into her, like, high school or college boyfriend. And he's a, what was his job? He's a doctor. And Barack said to Michelle, you would have been a doctor's wife. And she turned around and said, no, he would have been the president. And I thought, oh, that is.
I have chills. She, he, she would have been the president's wife. Oh.
That is so just like. It's so true, though, like.
That's why all the men are trying to marry us because men know they need us to like, there's so many men that I'm like, if he had a girlfriend, he would have his shit so much more together.
Together.
Also, men with a woman.
Name a man you've been inspired.
Name a man.
Name a man you've been inspired by recently.
Um.
Name an inspirational man.
He did rivalry.
And what a good segue.
Did you go to the cottage?
Of, of course.
Where'd you watch it?
The cottage in my bedroom at home and at my parents' house. And I was texting one of my friends who is a gay man and we were just like chit chatting about the show. And he said, Paige, I don't think you're understanding because this came out during Christmas break. There's so many gay men who are home watching this in their childhood bedrooms, which is the first place that they had these first thoughts of like, I'm gay, watching gay porn. And he was like, and so to watch a television show in my childhood bedroom, that is like this, he was like, I just like can't explain it to you and that.
I was like, oh my god, like, obviously I didn't think of that, but like, it really changed my whole perspective.
We still come from the generation of guys who like had to come out.
Like, obviously, the Gen Z's and the Gen Alphas have to come out, but it's, it's more like, it's easier. Like, guys our age were, there was like, very few guys who were out in, in high school.
Right. Wait, did you see on TikTok the straight men who used to play hockey? They have a podcast, I want to say it's like the, the netters, something, I'll look it up. Two straight men, ex-NHL players, watched every episode and like reviewed it and it was so like refreshing to see because they were like genuinely talking about the plot and they were like, I'm obsessed with him, like they've got to get together. And it was like, no, this is how it should be talked about by straight men.
What I'm obsessed with, with heated rivalry too, is that they also happen to be the best players in the league. The guy who won the cup, the two other guys, they're all the best players. So it's almost like, I don't know, I wonder if more athletes are gonna come out. Like, this is fucking huge.
No, I really think it is like such a cultural.
I better see some fucking men making out at the end of the Super Bowl, or I'm gonna be pissed.
Wouldn't that be nice?
I wanna see some helmets clanking.
No, I want the men to do something. Like, do something crazy like that. You know, it's always the girls, you know? It's like, we had Brittany and Christina make out on stage. Like, guys, do something. Spice it up.
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I do have to admit, I did go through like a depression because I decided to watch all of Season One of Euphoria in like two days. And I was alone in the house.
That is so not even a you show. What did you think?
No, I forced myself. I feel like the filmography, is that a word?
Filmography?
Was cool. Like it was like well done.
It gives like A24 like.
Yes, like and I appreciate art, but also like I don't care about drugs and I don't care about kids in high school. So, but I do think it was Zendaya's best work.
I care about both of those things.
Like I literally were like, oh, I'm doing drugs. I'm like, I.
Nothing I love more than a teeny bopper frickin' high school show. And if one of them dies in it, oh, even better.
Fuck yeah.
It also gives me like, you just remember high school and you remember being like, I just feel bad for myself because it's like, there's no way you can understand what's going on or get control of the situation, but you're trying so hard to like, understand who you are and like, the social dynamics.
I think euphoria is like, a bit extreme. I do, I highly doubt that is the norm. There's no way that's like, the norm of high school kids. Have you watched Tell Me Lies?
No, that's on my list, but again, another one that I'm a little scared of.
The third season is coming out and that's really good.
That's why I watch you for it, because the third season. Um, also, I am in a K-hole with Great British Baking Show.
It just like threw me off that you said K-hole, because I was like, my first thought was like, does she actually know what that is? Do you know what that is?
But, and, I felt right. It felt right. I envision a K-hole is like, you get really high and you just see a bunch of K's.
Do you know like, the, I think one of the main reasons why I'm like, not scared to get older is because even though we're like, a similar age, you'll always feel older to me because you don't know certain things that people our age know.
Wait, I love that you're like, I'm not afraid to be older because you'll always be older than me and I can always be like, at least I'm not Hannah's age. By the way, guys, one year. It's one year.
Also, I've been hanging out, like, I went to a couple like, coffee dates with this girl who's like, thirty, thirty-one. And she looks at me and she goes, "It's so nice to have an older friend."
No, like, I actually almost threw up for, I was like, "What are you talking about?" She's like, "No, no, no, like, all my friends are like, in their twenties." And it's just nice to be with someone who's like-
No, all my friends aren't dead until like-
What? Like, I, oh my god.
No, I know.
I'm not someone's wise friend, like, I'm young and fun.
Oh, also.
Wait, what did you say you were in a K-hole from?
Great British Bake- Baking Show. Which, haven't you watched?
It's really good. It's like, at the end of the day, like, after watching Euphoria for so long, I needed something soft. It's like when you date a really horrible man and then immediately have to date like the nicest guy on the planet, and he's like way too nice, but you're like, I just need this for like six months, just let me have this. So I've just been hearing people talk about puddings and loaves and, you know.
It really gets to your mind, right? And, cause then you're like, nothing's a big deal.
It's very plain, they help each other. Like, someone's like-
Isn't that, isn't that amazing?
Someone's three-layer cake is falling and someone's like, oh, can I help you there? They're like, oh, of course. It's so nice. Um, speaking of TV, so Paige and I got asked to do this end of the year thing for ABC Year Review, which was giving me like PTSD confessional style.
And you're so-
And it was before I got my veneer, which I'm like really annoyed about, but anyway.
Well, the clips came out and I have, I have a note. You, your angle is my good side and my angle, and by the way, we're solo. My angle is my bad side. Where, who do I talk to?
My angle was my, my angle was what you wanted and your angle was what I wanted.
What do we do?
I don't know.
Tell them not to play it?
I guess I like didn't realize it was happening as we were filming it, but I think the funniest thing about this was that me and Hannah got asked to do this together, but we were filming on separate days because of like whatever schedule stuff, and the night before Hannah-
I texted Hannah and I go, what are you wearing to the ABC thing?
You like knew in your heart.
And she was like, I don't, I don't know. And I was like, great. Again, like you always do this. So then I pick out my outfit and I'm like, this is what I'm wearing. It's like waist up. And I was like, and then I have glam. And Hannah goes, I'm not getting glam. I go, Hannah? It's on ABC News.
I'm with a close up of your face.
It's a close up? You're getting.
Of your bad side.
You're getting your hair and makeup professionally done.
I don't know. Something comes over me sometimes when I'm just like, I'm gonna save four hours of my life and not do glam. I sound like the Kardashians right now.
No, well, do you want to know what?
Then don't do glam.
Sometimes like when we do something, we're doing it like in the moment, but it's not being released to the world for months and months. So you genuinely forget about it. And so like, everyone has a day where you're like, I'm so tired. Like, I don't want to do my hair. Where you're like, I'll throw it up in a bun. Except if we do that, then six months later, people are like, can you believe that's what she wore? That stupid cunt. You're like, holy fuck.
It was.
I had a day that day.
I think I was coming home from like a six state tour of like seven shows. And it was like Monday morning and I was like, I'd rather get three more hours of sleep and answer the questions well. But you were like my mom in that moment. You said, I don't, hey, look at me, look at me. I don't care. You're glam done. You're not embarrassing the family.
The difference between you and other people is you work harder. Show it. Do it. This is not how we are.
Oh God. So that's going to air tonight, which is fun. I don't know how much they're actually going to put of us talking. I feel like you're really good with one liners. So you should have a bunch. I might've been cut.
You know, we still haven't gotten our wish of like doing a confessional together. Like for how many ever years we were on reality TV and we asked every single year, hey, we think it'd be funny if you gave us a confessional together. Who's gonna give us a confessional together?
I think this podcast is our confessional together. Like this is what we had to do to get it. Um, did you hear the drama?
About the Michigan coach.
The one that cheated on his wife?
With the girl that worked there and then went to her house and said he was gonna like burn it down? That one?
I feel like there's been a lot of sports stuff happening, like then there was a coach that switched teams in the middle of the night? And I kept thinking, did that really mean the middle of the night? I go, is that a saying?
Okay, Stana, what are you talking about middle of the night?
Well, I feel like my TikTok sometimes, like if you watch one fucking video, then all of the sudden you get all these videos. So I'm getting the videos about the Michigan guy cheating on his wife. It's videos of him like walking out of the tunnel with the mistress. Then I'm getting videos of another guy who changed teams in the middle of the season. And they kept being like, he changed teams in the middle of the night. And I'm like, actually? Or is that a figure of speech?
He just showed up at the new team at 4 a.m. like you up? Um, so yeah, the coaches needed to get together, but it is funny. They put these coaches on a pedestal. I remember even like Wisconsin, the football coach, like he was like the god of the school, the football coach. And a lot of them are just like horny creeps. Sorry I said it. Sorry, I said it.
Well, yeah, it's just.
Like they could hook up with the girls on campus.
Not surprising.
Cause they're like powerful if they wanted to.
You know what's crazy though is that we ever get that like women are so emotional. It's like, dude, you could have just gotten fired, gotten a divorce, gotten a new job later. Now you have to go to jail. Like what?
Yeah, that escalated so quickly.
So quickly.
You could have just like called your mom, talked it out, came up with a solution, let like, we all went through a Saturn return and didn't go to jail. It's possible.
Do men go through Saturn returns?
Wait, when do you think mine was? I, I think that mine was.
What kind of fucking question? When do you think mine was? Um, during the time that you were having panic attacks on stage for a full year? That was your sad return, babe?
I think I had had it prior to that. Because everyone says you had it when you're twenty seven.
You didn't listen to your sad return.
I think mine was like during covid and I was just like, sorry, I don't have the time. And they were like, no bitch, you're gonna make the time. Oh, so you think mine was? That tour was so transformative for us. For me specifically, but very... No, I loved it. No, there's still so much coming from it. Like, we haven't even, even the good stuff that happened, we haven't even said yet.
I haven't even processed it.
I'm really...
I do have to say also, I'm very busy on my phone right now because so many people in my life have adopted cats. And you know I love sending cat memes, but I don't send the same cat memes to everyone because not every cat meme is equal.
Right, like Sierra gets different ones than I get.
Yeah, Sierra gets, is your orange cat crazy?
Crazy.
How do you speak to your, your cat who's naughty? And then Grace gets all the tuxedo cats and then you get all the fluffy, beautiful cats or the aesthetic cats.
My cats always have like glitter.
Glitter cats.
And smoking a cig.
I am in a K-hole of organizing cat memes. There's so many layers. My mom, it's about having three cats.
If you had to take, if you had to take just a wild guess on what a K-hole is, can you give us like just a, just a one sentence, like what you think it is?
I think it's when you take like LSD and you get so high that you, you're just like spiraling and you like, you like murder a family or something.
Kind of.
You pull a Michigan coach. I think he was in a K-hole.
It's basically you take ketamine, which is a horse tranquilizer and then you're...
Wait. So wait, horses are just out here taking, getting in K holes all the time?
Well, no, they're taking it for like medical reasons.
And then people take it because it obviously is more potent because we're much smaller than a frickin' horse.
I love when you turn to a doctor.
And because I've watched so many people fall into a K hole where I'm like, are you okay?
In real life?
Yes, and so they'll take it and then you literally can't move. Here's the thing, when I was in my twenties, when I was in my twenties, I like, after covid and I went out again, like to the bars and the clubs, I saw people doing drugs and they were doing ketamine. And I was like, I must be so old in the scene because what the fuck do you mean? What do you mean?
Yeah, I don't even know how you would do it. I don't wanna know how you would do it.
I'm like, how are you standing?
My biggest fear is like doing a drug and then not being able to move while like,
That's exactly what this drug is.
Someone's talking to you and I'm just-
It's literally paralyzing yourself, but you're like, Yeah, you would hate it.
I always felt, that's why I would have panic attacks on weed, cuz like I, I would be watching myself embarrassing myself. Like I'm watching other people watch me and watch myself being embarrassed. And I'm like, this is, like, I'm already too in my head.
Anyway, okay, what's your next K hole? I love that, we were redefining it.
Oh, um.
It's really, it's your knowledge.
I did get in a brief K hole because, um, I read a comment accident, accidentally that was mean about me. And it's very unique. It kinda made me laugh. It was one of those. Someone said, "The back of my head is flatter than Kansas." I didn't know the back, you know the back of my head isn't in my business. Do I have a flat back of my head?
Well, it's on the side, so I can't really see. Put your hand down it.
Well, now go down, down, down. Is it like, does it curve on in?
I don't know, but like, I, maybe, I was saying like my, maybe my hair was flat in the back. I don't know, a man said it. So I was like.
Wait, that is like really specific.
I get the most specific, random things, my knees, the back of my head, but also things that I'm like, okay, good one, like.
See, I just get like my character. You know, like, like you're an evil person and like.
I also wanted to let you know, in the new year, I realized I, I am a little bit of a germaphobe with some things. There's one thing I'm a huge germaphobe about. I would never, ever buy a neck cushion from a Hudson News in an airport.
Cause all people do when they walk in, the first thing you do, it's the rule, you have to squeeze the neck cushion. That neck cushion has been squeezed by so many dirty little fingers.
You're so right.
Like, I think the toilet is cleaner.
I think I've bought so many too.
Paige, I'm so upset right now.
I don't have one right now currently and I haven't used one in years, but like, in my lifetime, I've probably bought about seven, eight.
Yeah, like.
Thank you for raising awareness, though.
But you turned out okay. It could be the reason for your UTIs, though.
Wait, you know how everyone's getting, you know how everyone's getting sick right now? Like, everyone has the flu.
I was like, wait, I literally don't leave my house.
I'm like, wow, everyone's dropping like flies. And I'm like, I wonder why I'm not getting sick. And I'm like, oh, I haven't interacted with another person in two months.
You're literally quarantining yourself.
Literally.
I'm kind of obsessed with you being in a class action lawsuit for buying airport, airport neck cushions. Is your, are you getting UTIs every day? And you possibly bought a neck cushion from.
Once I go to my urologist, gynecologist, it is over for you bitches.
No, I can't. Um, final thought.
Leonardo DiCaprio never saw the Titanic.
I saw that with Jennifer Lawrence. Petition for Jennifer Lawrence to just be a red carpet correspondent.
For sure. She, yeah, she was doing serious journalism.
The Lord's work.
Leonardo doesn't talk to press.
When, um, when she said-
Oh, she made fun of him like dating?
No, when she was with all the women and she was like, what color does this sound like? Because what's her name said, oh, I see color when I like when singing. And so she just goes, ah, what color is that?
Yeah, to Cynthia Revo. Well, people forget that before Jennifer Lawrence was accused of being the most annoying person in the world, she was the most charming person in the world and very funny. But it's a thin line with women. It's a thin line.
The people tried to Anne Hathaway her and it's like, not on my watch. Not on my watch.
If any of you guys had a bad year, just remember that Anne Hathaway and Jennifer Lawrence were stoned.
Yeah, people tried to say they were annoying.
Now they're back in action. So if they could recover from that, you can recover from whatever you went through this last year.
So true. The other side is just so much better. You gotta go through some shit. You just have to like buckle down and like, nothing good lasts and nothing bad lasts.
Oh, my God. You're so-
And when people can't mess with your character, they come for your reputation. And just remember that one. That's my 2026.
And I do have to say, any horrible things you guys went through in 2025, I guarantee it made you funnier and more interesting at parties.
I've told that stalker story so many times.
The stalker's like, tag me at least.
Get some credit where credit's due.
Okay, so you are home. Like, what?
Okay, so you're obsessed with me. You're stalking me at this point. If you say my name one more time.
This is so, it's so dark. Really? Like, okay, I'm coming. He's on his way. So I actually have to go.
Also, they only mentioned me like once in one of the letters. I was kind of like.
I was like, I'm kind of a big part of her life.
I was.
Oh, my stalker referred to Hannah, but literally in one text. And so I'm like screenshotting, sending to Hannah and she's like, was that it about me? And I'm like, okay. I'm literally, he just threatened my life and you're like so.
I was joking like, if you're hanging out with your friends one night and one of them gets kidnapped, that's obviously horrible, but for a second, we all were like, what's wrong with me? Like, why was I not chosen?
Okay, we need to be stopped. We need to be stopped. Oh, God.
Happy New Year. I can't wait to do our second episode after New Year's Eve.
Yeah, after, after New Year's Eve, next week. Oh, yeah. No, we like, we're doing two episodes a week, starting, let me like, give you guys official. So we, we don't have any confusion. Starting the week of January 5th, we're going two episodes a week. Every episode, nothing changes. We're just double Oreo, double stuffed.
Yeah, fuck yeah.
Okay. Love you guys. Bye.
Time for a quick break to talk about McDonald's. It's the tangiest time of the year. For a limited time, head to McDonald's and get a McRib sandwich. Make it a meal by adding a medium fries and a soft drink like an ice cold Diet Dr. Pepper. So grab a McRib sandwich and embrace the tang. Save time by ordering ahead on the app. At participating McDonald's for a limited time. Dr. Pepper is a registered trademark of Dr. Pepper, 7-Up Inc.
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Page updated October 31, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated