Hasan Minhaj Says Life Is Like Biryani (Reheat)

For comedian and former Daily Show correspondent Hasan Minhaj, biryani is more than a delicious food. It's a guide to life: pulling out the good bits and pushing the weird stuff to the side. And when you're a third-culture kid, Hasan says, you pick and choose which parts of the two cultures to make part of your life.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Dan Pashman?

  If you're the kind of person who plans vacations around where you're gonna eat, Scottsdale belongs on your list. And look, whenever I go somewhere, my priority is on eating things that are the specialties of that region, eating things that I can't get at home. So when I'm in that area, I'm looking for the specialties of the region, like authentic southwestern and Native American flavors, modern Mexican cuisine, and, as basic as it sounds, homemade, fresh flour tortillas. There's nothing like it, and you can't get them like that in the Northeast. And there is such a farm-to-table culture in Scottsdale, inspired by the Sonoran Desert. Everything is so fresh, the peppers, the spices, it is so vibrant. And Scottsdale's just got a great vibe. It's one of those places where breakfast becomes brunch, happy hour turns into dinner, and every patio has another amazing view.

• 0:45Dan Pashman?

  And explore Old Town Scottsdale between meals, or relax at a spa after brunch. From award-winning and James Beard-recognized chefs to neighborhood gems and nationally acclaimed restaurants, every meal in Scottsdale tells a story. So come hungry and leave with new favorite restaurants. Start planning your next culinary getaway at experiencescottsdale.com. I grew up on Lando Lake's cheese. I still remember going to the supermarket deli counter with my mom and her ordering Lando Lake's American cheese. And now, Lando Lake's cheese and butter are a huge part of my home. There are so many easy weeknight recipes using Lando Lake's cheese and butter that bring delicious restaurant taste right to your table. From chicken parm to weeknight shrimp pad Thai, Lando Lake's has plenty of quick

• 1:26Dan Pashman?

  dishes that'll have the whole dinner table talking. Visit landolakes.com/reцепes/collection for easy weeknight dinners.

• 1:46Dan Pashman?

  Hey, everyone. Dan here with another reheat for you. And this week, we are revisiting my conversation from 2017 with comedian Hasan Minhaj. Now, you may know him better as Hasan Minaj. And in fact, in this episode, we talk about the correct pronunciation of his name and why he's gone with the incorrect pronunciation for part of his career. Anyway, one of the things I love about this episode is it's kind of a time capsule. When we recorded this interview, Hasan was well-known on The Daily Show. He had just- Released his first stand-up special. But since then, he's gone on to host his own Netflix show, Patriot Act, that ran for six seasons. These days, he's still doing stand-up, and he's got a podcast called Hasan Minhaj Doesn't Know. But back when we spoke, he was still kind of just coming on to the national scene. When we sat down to talk, he told me how stand-up comedy is like eating, and he gave me some tips for mastering the art of eating with my hands. We also ate cereal together.

• 2:30Dan Pashman?

  You know, classic podcast interview stuff. Remember, there's an older episode of The Sporkful you want us to pull out of the deep freezer? We take requests. Drop me a line at [email protected]. Thanks so much and enjoy my conversation with Hasan Minhaj. This episode of The Sporkful contains explicit language. I brought you a little something to snack on.

• 2:51Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 2:52Dan Pashman?

  Hasan, I don't, if you're not into it anymore, if you're not hungry, no pressure.

• 2:55Speaker 01

  No, no, no.

• 2:56Dan Pashman?

  But I had read that you're a big fan.

• 2:59Speaker 01

  Oh, come on, the HB00?

• 3:02Dan Pashman?

  Honey Bunches of Oats, right here.

• 3:03Speaker 01

  Thank you, man.

• 3:04Dan Pashman?

  Here, I brought.

• 3:05Speaker 01

  Oh, this is great.

• 3:06Dan Pashman?

  I brought bowls.

• 3:07Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 3:08Dan Pashman?

  Pour yourself some.

• 3:09Speaker 01

  Do you know, you know how I eat this, right?

• 3:10Dan Pashman?

  Tell me.

• 3:11Speaker 01

  I'm kind of a weirdo about this.

• 3:12Dan Pashman?

  This is a safe space for you, Hasan.

• 3:14Speaker 01

  Yes. So I eat cereal and milk separately.

• 3:23Dan Pashman?

  Today on The Sporkful, I sit down with Daily Show correspondent Hasan Minhaj. We'll nerd out on Honey Bunches of Oats for so long, we might actually uncover the secret to life. Plus, Hasan gives us the inside scoop on his performance at this year's White House Correspondents' Dinner. And he talks about why, in his new stand-up special, he decided not to explain the Indian foods he references to his audience.

• 3:45Speaker 01

  I've always sort of hedged who I am, or what I'm about, or what I'm gonna talk about. I've always sort of given you the Diet Pepsi version in order to be understood. And for me, art is one of those things, just like food. It should be enjoyed in its purest form.

• 4:03Dan Pashman?

  That's all coming up. Stick around.

• 4:15Dan Pashman?

  This is The Sporkful. It's not for foodies, it's for eaters. I'm Dan Pashman. Each week on our show, we obsess about food to learn more about people. Hasan Minhaj is best known as a correspondent on The Daily Show, and a big part of his work there, and in all of his comedy, is his background. He was born and raised in Davis, California, outside Sacramento. His parents immigrated from India, and his family is Muslim. In his new stand-up special, Hasan shares a lot of personal stories about growing up as a first-generation kid in America. And he talks a lot about race and religion.

• 4:47Speaker 01

  Now, I really believe love intrinsically is bigger than fear. Fox News has taught me that.

• 4:53Speaker 01

  Now, Fox News is incredible, because I've never seen so many people with spray tans hate people of color. It is amazing. And Fox News is in New York. They're in New York. Daily Show, Fox News, like, literally 5 avenues away from each other. That's it. Professor X, Magneto, that close. And every day, I have to walk past their building during lunch. I'll see all the employees, Hannity, Coulter, O'Reilly, all of them will leave their building, cross the street, walk past me, and then line up for halal chicken and rice.

• 5:29Speaker 01

  Racist Randy just wants that red sauce. I love it. I love that your brain can be racist. Your body will just betray you. I love that so much. Just all morning, Mexicans, all lives matter, Arabs, 12:01, shawarma time. I love that so much.

• 5:45Dan Pashman?

  Later on, we'll hear more of Hasan's stand-up, and we'll get into a lot of the issues of identity that he wrestles with in his work. But first, we had to nerd out on Honey Bunches of Oats, and Hasan's approach to cereal in general.

• 5:56Speaker 01

  With me with food, texture's a big thing.

• 5:59Dan Pashman?

  Yes.

• 6:00Speaker 01

  So I didn't like the mushy texture of milk curdling into your cereal. So, like, an obsessive-compulsive weirdo, I would take a bite of cereal and then have a sip of milk.

• 6:14Dan Pashman?

  Do you hold the cereal in your mouth and then take the sip?

• 6:18Speaker 01

  No, I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't mix it in my mouth. What I would do is I would actually just chew, chew, chew, swallow, and then, yeah.

• 6:24Dan Pashman?

  Right. There we go.

• 6:27Speaker 01

  So I'd have this bite just like this right now. You know, and um. Then I'd pour the milk out in a cup. And I would, you know, drink.

• 6:37Dan Pashman?

  I I'm a big texture guy, too.

• 6:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:39Dan Pashman?

  And I ended up eating it. I was just trying a little bit of it last night. And I put just a small amount in with a small amount of milk and then ate it right away.

• 6:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:46Dan Pashman?

  Pour in a shot of cereal in the bowl, a shot of milk. Eat that and then another shot, another.

• 6:51Speaker 01

  Right, right.

• 6:52Dan Pashman?

  Constant crunch.

• 6:53Speaker 01

  Oh, so that, so you basically would make each bite per capita perfect.

• 6:59Dan Pashman?

  Yeah, like, like, like the way they would serve cereal, like a molecular gastronomy.

• 7:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 7:03Dan Pashman?

  Like the cereal is just in a single spoon.

• 7:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. What you, that requires a level of discipline and patience to really be like, okay, I want every single bite.

• 7:12Dan Pashman?

  Yeah, look, I can't say I'm always that disciplined and patient.

• 7:15Speaker 01

  Right, right.

• 7:16Dan Pashman?

  We're talking platonic ideals now.

• 7:17Speaker 01

  Right, right, right. You know what I just realized?

• 7:20Dan Pashman?

  What?

• 7:20Speaker 01

  I can see how when they were developing Honey Bunches of Oats, they were like, look, you gotta say goodbye to Frosted Flakes. But there, there is, it's still here.

• 7:29Dan Pashman?

  Right. There's at least three different kinds of flakes in here.

• 7:32Speaker 01

  You have a cornflake here, which is, this is adulthood.

• 7:35Dan Pashman?

  Right.

• 7:35Speaker 01

  You know, then you have a Frosted Flake. This is just straight up childhood. Then there's this middle flake, which I don't know what the deal with it is.

• 7:42Dan Pashman?

  I think it's like a smashed oat.

• 7:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, which that to me is sort of like adolescence, somewhere in between. So it's like it, it, it's, it's buffered it really nicely.

• 7:51Dan Pashman?

  And then what role is the granola playing?

• 7:53Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 7:54Dan Pashman?

  In the bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats that is life?

• 7:56Speaker 01

  You're senior old age. I don't, I mean.

• 7:58Dan Pashman?

  I think maybe the granola is like, you know. So much of life just turns into a giant blur. When you look back on it, like, you really only remember the peaks.

• 8:08Speaker 01

  Stuff is like sort of, yeah, I hear what you're saying.

• 8:10Dan Pashman?

  The clusters of, of, of strong emotion in one direction or another.

• 8:13Speaker 01

  Right, right, right.

• 8:14Dan Pashman?

  That's the granola.

• 8:15Speaker 01

  The granola is sort of your, the, the bachelor party you took or the, like that.

• 8:20Dan Pashman?

  Right, like the birth of your children.

• 8:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's this sharp, yeah, yeah, yeah, very distinct moment.

• 8:26Dan Pashman?

  Exactly.

• 8:27Speaker 01

  I'm assuming positive?

• 8:28Dan Pashman?

  For me, yes, yes, right. But, but, but like, maybe if it got too soggy and ends up being a bad bite, that was like, could have been like, you know.

• 8:34Speaker 01

  Right.

• 8:35Dan Pashman?

  Yeah, getting, you know, cheated on by an ex.

• 8:37Speaker 01

  Oh, Jesus. That's too real. You know, I've always found interesting, you know, my wife is more of a foodie than me, but she gets me to sort of participate in it more. The thing that I find that's interesting about where I've been able to have an appreciation for food and food culture and the experience of eating, it's very similar to comedy in the sense that every time you're on stage, just like every time you're about to have this experience with Honey Bunches of Oats, I can do the same act, but every night it's slightly different. There's all these seen and unseen variables that are going into the alchemy that's happening in that 15 minutes or that 20 minutes or that one hour.

• 9:19Speaker 01

  I think the same thing goes for, even if you're making something as simple as a grilled cheese sandwich, or us eating Honey Bunches of Oats right now, it's like, what type of milk is that? Are we talking about skim, 1%, bodega milk that could be old? Like, like, where, where, where are we with the Honey Bunches of Oats? Is this a dead stock bag that you just opened that we're having fresh? Or was it sitting in your pantry for about a week?

• 9:42Dan Pashman?

  Right.

• 9:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:44Dan Pashman?

  So, so much to discuss here.

• 9:48Dan Pashman?

  This is one of the first things that I, that I was unsure about coming to speak with you.

• 9:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:51Dan Pashman?

  Was which way to pronounce your name?

• 9:53Speaker 01

  Oh, this is a fascinating topic. So it just, it really depends on what part of the world you, you live in. So my family's from the South Asian subcontinent, which, in which case you would pronounce my name Hasan Minhaj. I have friends that are from the Arab world, specifically the H A S A N would be more about Hassan. Here in America, the, the name Hassan, African American Muslims have, have that name. Like it's pronounced more Hassan.

• 10:21Dan Pashman?

  But it seems to me like this is something that you have thought about. I would suspect that you have thought about how you want to pronounce your name here.

• 10:29Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 10:29Dan Pashman?

  And how you would like other people to pronounce your name. Because I note that in your Netflix special, when you're telling a story and speaking in your father's voice, or your sister's voice, you pronounce it the Indian way.

• 10:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 10:40Dan Pashman?

  On other videos and other times you will introduce yourself and most people know you as Hassan.

• 10:45Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 10:45Dan Pashman?

  Hassan Minaj.

• 10:46Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 10:48Dan Pashman?

  But I noticed that at the very end of your comedy special.

• 10:51Speaker 01

  Wow, yeah.

• 10:52Dan Pashman?

  Deep Cuts 2010.

• 10:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:54Dan Pashman?

  You said Hassan, but you pronounced your last name.

• 10:57Speaker 01

  Minhaj.

• 10:58Dan Pashman?

  Right, instead of Minaj.

• 10:59Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 11:00Dan Pashman?

  Instead of the Nicki Minaj way.

• 11:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, yes.

• 11:02Dan Pashman?

  Right.

• 11:02Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 11:03Dan Pashman?

  So that was in 2010, you were still saying your name the way your father would have said it.

• 11:06Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 11:06Dan Pashman?

  And now you're saying it.

• 11:07Speaker 01

  I identify as a third culture kid, where I am, you know, it's, are you Indian? Are you purely American? Are you Indian, American? I'm a third culture kid. I'm the hybrid of the two. The predicament that I faced was when I would say it the way I would say it at home, Hasan Minhaj, people would go Hassan, Hassan, which to me is worked in neither scenario. It didn't work for Arab speaking people. It didn't work for South Asians. It didn't work for Americans. So to me, the closest that still honored the way it's pronounced in communities was Hassan. I have, I have black Muslim friends that are named Hassan, you know? So I was like, that works for me. That being said, I have friends that can pronounce it perfectly.

• 11:49Speaker 01

  So by all means, I, I say round up to the ability of your tongue.

• 11:54Dan Pashman?

  This could be a whole separate episode.

• 11:56Speaker 01

  Sure, sure.

• 11:57Dan Pashman?

  I noticed in your, in your show, in the Netflix special.

• 12:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:02Dan Pashman?

  You use a lot of Hindi words.

• 12:03Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 12:04Dan Pashman?

  You do translate them mostly, but, but I checked with one person whose Hindi is better than mine. And it said, maybe not entirely, you know? You reference foods like biryani and pakora that maybe some people in the audience won't know.

• 12:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:17Dan Pashman?

  And you don't explain them.

• 12:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:19Dan Pashman?

  Was the choice to not explain what those foods are, was that like a conscious decision as part of your performance?

• 12:27Speaker 01

  To me, one of the, like, the biggest things for me was, for the longest time, me creatively, I've always, you know, and this goes back to even some of the name stuff. I've always sort of hedged who I am, or what I'm about, or what I'm going to talk about. I've always sort of given you the Diet Pepsi version, or the Panda Express version of what it needs to be in order to be understood. And for me, art is one of those things, just like food, it should be enjoyed in its purest form. That should exist somewhere. The things that I've loved most about art, when I listen to hip hop or NWA or anything like that, I've never sold drugs.

• 13:08Speaker 01

  I've never, like, oh, so many things that, that were talked about in hip hop, which is such a huge part of my life, I've never done. But the lingo and the verbiage they use, you catch up to it. I actually was like, if I don't say it how it really sounds and feels, I'm insulting the viewer, actually. I think as viewers, you want the real thing.

• 13:32Dan Pashman?

  So Hassan tries to be true to himself in his work. But recently, he had a really different kind of gig that forced him to wrestle with those issues all over again. It was this year's White House Correspondents' Dinner. Now, in case you're not familiar, this has become one of the biggest events of the year in the Washington social scene. TV news personalities and reporters, politicians and celebrities, they're all there. Now, traditionally, the president gets up and tells some jokes, sort of roasts the media and other politicians, and then a comedian gets up and does the same thing. This year, Hassan was selected to be that comedian.

• 14:07Speaker 01

  My name is Hassan Minaj, or as I'll be known in a few weeks, number 830287.

• 14:15Dan Pashman?

  This year, however, was different because President Trump didn't go. He also told members of his administration not to go. Hassan talked about that in his act.

• 14:25Speaker 01

  I was asked to not roast the president and the administration in their absentia. And I completely understand that. We are in a very strange situation where there's a very combative relationship between the press and the president. But you might understand the position I was in. And it's the same position a lot of minority kids feel in this country. And it's, you know, do I come up here and just try to fit in and not ruffle any feathers?

• 15:00Speaker 01

  Or do I say how I really feel? Because this event is about celebrating the First Amendment and free speech.

• 15:09Speaker 01

  Only in America can a first-generation, Indian-American Muslim kid get on this stage and make fun of the president.

• 15:23Speaker 01

  The orange man behind the Muslim ban.

• 15:27Dan Pashman?

  I do want to talk briefly about the White House Correspondents Dinner.

• 15:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, let's talk about it.

• 15:30Dan Pashman?

  First of all, congrats. I thought you did a fantastic job.

• 15:32Speaker 01

  Thank you so much.

• 15:33Dan Pashman?

  And like, that has got to, I mean, I'm not a stand-up comedian, but I have, like, got to assume that's gotta be such a hard room.

• 15:39Speaker 01

  The toughest gig I've ever done in my life, man.

• 15:41Dan Pashman?

  I mean, it's like, you know, you have all these people who, uh, either they're journalists, so they feel like they can't laugh at certain jokes because they'll be displaying their true feelings about something. You have political types who won't laugh at certain jokes because they're afraid that will show that they're

• 15:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:54Dan Pashman?

  taking the wrong side of the joke.

• 15:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:56Dan Pashman?

  So you have all these people who won't allow themselves to laugh. No matter, they may go home and watch it on YouTube and laugh their ass off.

• 16:02Speaker 01

  Right, right, right, right, right.

• 16:03Dan Pashman?

  But in the room, they can't show their cards.

• 16:05Speaker 01

  Right.

• 16:05Dan Pashman?

  And so it feels like you're more of like playing to

• 16:08Speaker 01

  Pockets.

• 16:09Dan Pashman?

  Right.

• 16:09Speaker 01

  Of the room.

• 16:10Dan Pashman?

  And to, and to people at home, or people who are gonna watch it online later.

• 16:12Speaker 01

  Yes, yes.

• 16:14Dan Pashman?

  How was the food?

• 16:16Speaker 01

  The food was very average. It's at a Hilton.

• 16:20Dan Pashman?

  Right.

• 16:21Speaker 01

  But there's, there's also two other elements, you know? Have you ever had like a big event? And it, even say like your own wedding, were you stressed at your wedding?

• 16:31Dan Pashman?

  Yes.

• 16:31Speaker 01

  Yeah. I remember the food at my wedding was great, but I was so stressed going through the day-to-day stuff, making sure I'm here on time for the picture and the blah blah blah for the da-da-da, that I couldn't really enjoy or savor the food. So the, I go up at 10:30 PM at the White House Correspondents Dinner. Dinner is served around 8, 8:30. I just want to do my set.

• 16:54Dan Pashman?

  Right.

• 16:55Speaker 01

  So people are like, do you want the salmon or do you want the da-da-da? I'm just like, I don't ca, I just want to perform. I want to get up on that stage and do my thing. So my notes are in my lap and I'm just going through my cards. As I'm kind of maybe just nibbling on, just a little bit, just to have some sustenance inside of me. There's also a variable a lot of people don't know. Okay, so the administration had boycotted the event. But when I opened my booklet, it said that Ben Carson and Devin Nunes were there. Ben Carson is a part of the administration. So the first thing that I had to do is, my writers were about four to five tables to the right of me. I Immediately run over to their table and I'm like, we have all this Ben Carson material. We need to find out, is he in the room or not?

• 17:38Dan Pashman?

  And would him being in the room make you want to use more of the Ben Carson material?

• 17:41Speaker 01

  Of course. And then we got confirmation, no, he's not coming. Boom, scratched. Like, material is being lifted and thrown out, you know?

• 17:49Dan Pashman?

  So you're like rewriting over the salmon, basically?

• 17:51Speaker 01

  Basically, basically. So that shaped my food experience. So it was kind of lukewarm salmon.

• 18:04Dan Pashman?

  Coming up, my conversation with Hasan Minhaj continues. He'll explain how his life is kind of like the South Asian dish biryani. And he'll share memories of bringing in lunch to his mostly white school.

• 18:15Speaker 01

  That was something, yeah, I really, man, I was really self-conscious of. And then you open up that plastic bag, it's just like immigrants. It's like, oh no. You know, it's like so strong.

• 18:26Dan Pashman?

  Plus, Hasan offers a sporkful listener advice on how to eat Indian food. Stick around.

• 18:50Speaker 02

  And now, a delicious word from our sponsors.

• 18:58Dan Pashman?

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• 19:43Dan Pashman?

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• 20:25Dan Pashman?

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• 21:06Dan Pashman?

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• 21:39Dan Pashman?

  Welcome back to The Sporkful. I'm Dan Pashman, and Father's Day is just around the corner. Need a gift suggestion? I'm glad you asked, because I have one for you. It's my cookbook, Anything's Pasta-able: 81 inventive pasta recipes for saucy people. It made the list of best cookbooks of the year in Food & Wine, Epicurious, Esquire, and Wired. And it has no traditional pasta sauce recipes. You don't need another recipe for meat sauce. Instead, it has things like shakshuka and shells, smoked cheddar and chicken manicotti, done like enchiladas, linguine with miso clam sauce, shrimp and andouille mac and cheese, and of course, spaghetti alla sassina, which is a spicy pasta that's pan-fried until charred and crispy crunchy. Get Anything's Pasta-able today wherever books are sold. All right, back to the show.

• 22:28Dan Pashman?

  Welcome back to The Sporkful. I'm Dan Pashman. Hasan Minhaj spent the first eight years of his life living in the US with just his father. His mother was back in India, finishing med school, trying to get a visa. There were visits, but it was mostly Hasan and his dad. When his mom was finally able to move to the US for good, she showed up with a surprise. Hasan's younger sister, Aisha. She'd been conceived on one of his father's trips back to India. Hasan's parents hadn't told him about Aisha. As he says in his new stand-up special, she walked in the door, hugged him, and called him Hasan Bhai. Hasan Bhai is a term of endearment that means "brother" in Hindi. But he wasn't so excited to see her.

• 23:08Speaker 01

  I hated that brown girl so much. Can I be honest with you guys? I totally understood the wall. I was like, "Build that wall." I was like a little Republican. I get it. I remember leveling with my parents at the dinner table. I was like, "Look, Mom, Dad, let's just be real." "Oh, my God, these brown people, oh, jeez."

• 23:25Speaker 01

  "Coming into our house,

• 23:28Speaker 01

  eating our fruit roll-ups.

• 23:32Speaker 01

  They don't speak the language."

• 23:35Speaker 01

  I say we tell them to go back to where they came from. That's just me. He's like, "Hasan, you can't say that. We're family. We're all that we have." I'm like, "Nah, that's on you and Mom." Like, "You guys decided to get your Angelina Jolie on and bring over this fab and a frock. That's on you. That's not on me." And I don't know what it is.

• 23:51Dan Pashman?

  So, fast forward to adulthood. Hasan's dating an Indian-American woman named Bina. He wants to marry her. But Bina's Hindu, and Hasan is Muslim. And in case you weren't aware, Hindus and Muslims in India have been fighting forever. Intermarriage there is very rare, and when it happens, it's pretty scandalous. So Hasan went to his father.

• 24:10Speaker 01

  I convinced my dad. I was like, "Dad, I love her. She loves me. Isn't there something bigger that unites all of us? This is America. We can choose. We can pick and choose what we want to adhere from the motherland here. Isn't life like biryani? Where you move the good shit towards you and push the weird shit to the side? Why do we gotta adhere to this weird shit from back over there?" He agrees. He's like, "That's a good point."

• 24:33Speaker 01

  Fine, you should get married. Are you fucking kidding? That's a Hall of Fame brown dad decision. Are you kidding me? There's brown dads right here. They're like, "If my son did that, I would shoot myself, then I would shoot him." He says, "Yes." We rally the troops. Me, Mom, Dad, Aisha. We get in the Camry. We're driving into my future fiance's house. And we're about to pull up. And we get to the door. And my dad's about to ring the doorbell. And then he says the one sentence that is the killer of every brown kid's dream.

• 25:04Speaker 01

  He goes, "Hassan, I don't think we should do this."

• 25:10Speaker 01

  "Lo kya kenge, bhai?"

• 25:13Speaker 01

  "What will people think?"

• 25:16Speaker 01

  And I don't know if you guys know this, but every time a brown father says "lo kya kenge", a star actually falls from the sky.

• 25:25Speaker 01

  "Mom, Dad, I don't want to be a doctor. I don't lo kya kenge." "No." "I don't want to marry so-and-so. I don't lo kya kenge." "Why?" I bet you, when Mahatma Gandhi told his parents he was gonna stand up to the British and liberate India, even they were like, "I don't want this lo kya kenge, bhai." "Stop marching, eat something. The British are gonna talk shit about us. Why are you bald and skinny? We can see your ribs. You're being weird. You're never gonna get married." And I'm standing there,

• 25:52Speaker 01

  on that doorstep.

• 25:55Speaker 01

  Gee, I'm standing there, on that doorstep, being like, "Wait, you want me to change my life because of lo kya kenge? Come on, Dad. How many times, behind closed doors, do we complain about racism in our community? All the time. Now when the ball's in our court, we're gonna be bigoted to another community? Come on, Dad, I promise you. God doesn't put bark on bigotry. God's not up in heaven being like, "You're racist, good job. That's what I always wanted." No. Number two, you want me to change my life to appease some auntie and uncle that I'm never gonna see at some party? You want me to change my life for Nai Auntie? Fuck Nai Auntie, I'm not doing that. You fucking kidding me?

• 26:33Speaker 01

  My life?

• 26:35Speaker 01

  But I can't say that. Because I've played all my cards. So I can't say anything. Now I'm losing hope. Now I'm like, man, maybe this is bigger than me. It's been going on for centuries. So I'm walking back to the Camry. Then I hear a voice behind me. Oh, my God. You guys do this all the time. And it is Aisha, and she is pissed. And she's like, Dad? I did not fly out from Philly for this.

• 27:10Speaker 01

  Bina is so legit. She has a PhD. Hussain Bai is a comedian.

• 27:22Speaker 01

  No one... No one is gonna marry him. So let's get him married before she changes her mind. She stepped up, she put her foot down. She filled Jackson that entire situation. She got all these people working together for one goal. And because of her, on January 2nd, I got to marry the love of my life because of my sister. And I can't believe it.

• 27:44Speaker 01

  For years, I resented that brown girl. I hated her. But on that day, on that special day, I couldn't have been more proud to be her Hussain Bai.

• 28:08Speaker 01

  My mom's biryani is the best. And I really think that every South Asian mom has a distinct spin on biryani. Biryani is one of those things because it's our gumbo. It's a food that allows you to remix and put a lot of unique and new elements into it.

• 28:27Dan Pashman?

  You say in your special that life is like biryani. You move the good stuff towards you and push the weird stuff away.

• 28:31Speaker 01

  Push the weird stuff to the side, yeah.

• 28:32Dan Pashman?

  What's the weird stuff that you push away?

• 28:34Speaker 01

  To me, it's this, and you know, this is the distinct narrative that I think a lot of third culture kids have is what elements do you want to keep for yourself? You know, and I want to have kids in the future. What are the elements and the values that I want my kids to like adhere to and believe? I want to push anything that's positive from my home culture, Indian culture, towards me. Anything that's weird or doesn't gel with me, I push it to the side. I'll give you an example. What I love most about Indian culture is that kindness, warmth, being a good host, making sure everyone around you is fed proverbially, metaphorically, and literally. The things I want to push to the side that I think are not cool. A lot of the patriarchal traditions of like, well, the man does this and the woman does this.

• 29:19Speaker 01

  No. A lot of traditional views on the caste system or tribalism, whether it's caste system in the Hindu culture or tribalism of Sunni Shia, all that stuff, gone. And I know- That's the biryani element that I'm like, I push the good stuff towards me, push the weird stuff to the sides. What about my American identity? A lot of times in the country, this country, I feel there's two narratives. There's the nativist narrative that America's about God, Jesus, football, America first. Or is it the immigrant narrative? This is the great marketplace of ideas. This is the place where regardless of your race, religion, creed, class, if you come with the best idea, that's what brings us together, our merit and our ideas. This is the great American experiment. That's the stuff I push towards me.

• 30:01Speaker 01

  That's the sort of biryani sifting that I do in my, when I create my third culture kid identity.

• 30:09Dan Pashman?

  Did you grow up eating with your hands?

• 30:10Speaker 01

  Yes, yes. Not with rice, but the, the tear, fold, scoop in your mouth.

• 30:18Dan Pashman?

  Did you eat with your hands in the school cafeteria?

• 30:21Speaker 01

  Um, yeah, you know, what was good is when my mom would pack me lunch, she would just turn those, those things into like burritos. So there'd be the naan and then you would just stuff it with something and then make it like a burrito. So it would be a wrap. So I'd just eat it.

• 30:32Dan Pashman?

  Well, was it ever something you were self-conscious about?

• 30:33Speaker 01

  Oh, totally. It's the smell. That's the thing is that, you know, Dunkaroos, Oreos, Doritos, all those in peanut butter and jelly, they don't have smells. So that was something, yeah, I really, man, I was really self-conscious of. Because it was one of those things where if you're sitting at the lunch tables and then you open up that plastic bag, it's just like immigrants. It's like, oh, no. You know, it's like so strong. That's the thing, because you just, you just want to like, ease it in. And it's one of the themes I talk about in the one man shows is like, you just want to like, ease into social acceptance and the norms. You know, as you get older, I think you realize that like, that opening of the bag and pulling out a kebab is the, wearing a red sneaker. It's the thing that allows

• 31:16Speaker 01

  you to be like, hey, this is my thing, you know?

• 31:20Dan Pashman?

  You're expressing yourself.

• 31:20Speaker 01

  It's a form of expression. It's a form of like, and I can tell you about it, whether you like it or not. Well, it's me. I like my red sneaker and I like my like, non-kebab. But that's something that I did not want, I did not want to stand out in that way when I was younger.

• 31:36Dan Pashman?

  Right.

• 31:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:38Dan Pashman?

  Coming up, Huston and I talk about what his trips to India are like now that he's an adult. That's after the break. Stick around.

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• 33:40Dan Pashman?

  Welcome back. Let's return now to my conversation with comedian Hasan Minhaj. When you travel back to India now

• 33:46Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 33:46Dan Pashman?

  as an adult, how connected do you feel to the food there?

• 33:52Speaker 01

  I have had a slight distance to the real food because I can't eat entirely off the street. And if I really wanted to feel fully connected, I would eat street food, which is the best food. But I'm always trying to not get sick because I'm playing the long game. I have friends that are just like, eat the street food, get sick, come out three days later, and you're good.

• 34:21Dan Pashman?

  Indestructible.

• 34:22Speaker 01

  Exactly. You're indestructible. For me, those three days that you're sick are the worst. So I'm not fully connected. Like, what would your strategy be? Would you do the thing? Would you just bite the bullet?

• 34:36Dan Pashman?

  That's a tough one.

• 34:36Speaker 01

  It's tough, right?

• 34:38Dan Pashman?

  I mean, you're saying that you have two weeks, let's say?

• 34:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, two weeks.

• 34:41Dan Pashman?

  And so the question is, like, the first... I guess... Does getting sick once get you set, are you set for life or only for that trip?

• 34:49Speaker 01

  You're, you're pretty much set for that trip, but I have some friends that like, if they go back the next year and the following year, they're fine. My biggest thing was this is it's actually not necessarily the sick thing. It's a lot of times I'm, we're moving. We're gonna go see this aunt and then this uncle and then this cousin and then my grandmother. So we're moving into a lot of very varying bathroom situations, a lot of, so, so depending on what's passing through my body. If I'm in one place for three days, then it's like, all right, I got my home base.

• 35:20Dan Pashman?

  Right. Maybe as I think about it more, I think that my strategy might be if you had the time and the resources, if you really wanted to do it up.

• 35:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:28Dan Pashman?

  What you do is you arrive three days before the family stuff starts.

• 35:33Speaker 01

  Great.

• 35:33Dan Pashman?

  And you get yourself a hotel room.

• 35:35Speaker 01

  Oh, that's brilliant. So you go three days before, go down to the street corner, have some Boni Puri.

• 35:40Dan Pashman?

  Right.

• 35:41Speaker 01

  Enjoy it, savor it.

• 35:43Dan Pashman?

  Right.

• 35:44Speaker 01

  Go to your hotel.

• 35:45Dan Pashman?

  Get it out of your system.

• 35:46Speaker 01

  Let it all pass.

• 35:46Dan Pashman?

  Right.

• 35:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:48Dan Pashman?

  And then you're ready to see grandma and you can see, eat all the Pani Puri you want.

• 35:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:54Dan Pashman?

  Does the fact that you aren't able to fully partake in the street food kind of remind you that you aren't a hundred percent Indian?

• 36:03Speaker 01

  Yes. It is, it's a firm reminder that's like, oh, you're a third culture kid.

• 36:08Dan Pashman?

  And that must be even, that one in particular of all the ways you could be reminded, cause that's sort of like, it's literally like in, like your body.

• 36:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:15Dan Pashman?

  Cannot can't process this food, like it's inside of you, that you're missing something inside of you.

• 36:20Speaker 01

  Yes. It's very weird. It's like, imagine if I had a cousin or a relative come over and we were at like a Yankees game and I'm like, oh, do you wanna, like, do you want a pretzel? I'm like, I can't, I can't.

• 36:29Dan Pashman?

  Right.

• 36:30Speaker 01

  Like, you want a hot dog? Like, come on, we're at the game. Like, have a hot dog.

• 36:32Dan Pashman?

  Right, right.

• 36:33Speaker 01

  You'd be like, I, I, I can't. None of it?

• 36:35Dan Pashman?

  Right.

• 36:36Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? Like, cause they're throwing everything at me. They'll be like, okay, here. So like, have this chapati. Like, I can't. All right, what about this, like, jalebi? Aw, man. All right, what about this lassi? It's like, oh, the milk and the ice and the, ah, you know, like, it's just like. They're like, none of it. All right, man.

• 36:50Dan Pashman?

  Right, right.

• 36:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:52Dan Pashman?

  I got an email from a listener that I wanted to share with you and get your take on.

• 36:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:56Dan Pashman?

  This woman writes, "My future husband is a wonderful man and we get along great." So you know, there's a but coming next.

• 37:01Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 37:03Dan Pashman?

  "But I take issue with the way he eats some bread. I love cooking and experimenting with different cuisines. I think I've gotten quite good with Indian curries and now pride myself on my homemade chapatis, rotis, parathas, etc."

• 37:14Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 37:15Dan Pashman?

  "So when I present a curry and bread to my partner, this is when my heart sinks. For some reason, he is unable to eat any food or the bread product normally. I believe that the right way is to break a piece of bread, use to scoop some curry and eat. Simple. However, he will pick up the entire piece of bread, use a spoon to load on too much curry and then lift the entire thing to his face."

• 37:36Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 37:37Dan Pashman?

  "I love him, but it means I cannot go to an Indian restaurant as I cannot deal with him balancing a full meal on a single piece of bread in public. How can I help him change his ways, or am I wrong?"

• 37:47Speaker 01

  This is just my piece of advice.

• 37:49Dan Pashman?

  Please.

• 37:50Speaker 01

  You gotta get your partner to get comfortable with getting messy with your fingers. I think that's the fear, is that you're gonna get a little bit of the salin, a little bit of the curry in those fingers and in those nails. I think that's why a lot of times people will take the entire piece of naan and then stuff it like they're making a burrito at Kadoba and then bite it. Whereas you're supposed to make these little mini, almost like curry tacos with your fingers to be like, "All right, I'll make it," and then do it one bite at a time. You're basically gonna have to convince your partner to go to the nude beach with like their fingers. You gotta, you gotta get messy. You gotta let it hang. You gotta let it, you gotta get in there.

• 38:28Dan Pashman?

  Right.

• 38:29Speaker 01

  That's tough. I don't know how to teach, do you know what I mean? That's a very distinct thing.

• 38:34Dan Pashman?

  It's a technique and I have tried to get, I'm maybe halfway decent at it. I'm not. Like I was at an Indian friend's house.

• 38:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:41Dan Pashman?

  And their ability to do it with one hand.

• 38:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:44Dan Pashman?

  Well, like standing up while holding a plate with the other hand. Actually tear the bread with one hand. That is a move that I just like, I don't know, maybe with years of practice, I could master it.

• 38:54Speaker 01

  But Dan, you can do it. You can, it's like tear off a corner of this piece of paper.

• 38:58Dan Pashman?

  But I don't know that I can do it with one hand.

• 39:00Speaker 01

  Really?

• 39:01Dan Pashman?

  Let me, let me try, hang on.

• 39:02Speaker 01

  No, no, no, don't. Okay, no, no, go, no, no, go. Give it a try, give it a try.

• 39:08Speaker 01

  Here, here, here.

• 39:09Dan Pashman?

  Show me, how do you? Tear the paper with one hand.

• 39:11Speaker 01

  Okay, it's right here. So this is naan.

• 39:17Dan Pashman?

  So you're using something, two fingers to stabilize.

• 39:19Speaker 01

  Finger to base, right? This is the plate, right? And maybe I'm carrying a baby here. Right? Yeah. We're at like an Indian wedding or some sort of family party, right? So the baby's here, here, here. All right.

• 39:32Dan Pashman?

  That's pretty good.

• 39:33Speaker 01

  And then we got the little naan here. So where's our goma or where's our whatever?

• 39:37Dan Pashman?

  Right here.

• 39:37Speaker 01

  It's right here.

• 39:38Dan Pashman?

  Here's our plate, yeah.

• 39:39Speaker 01

  Right here.

• 39:39Dan Pashman?

  Oh, see you.

• 39:40Speaker 01

  Scoop right here.

• 39:41Dan Pashman?

  Look at that, I mean, I hope I should almost.

• 39:42Speaker 01

  And I'm still bouncing the baby right now, man. Here we go. And now we've pinched.

• 39:46Dan Pashman?

  That's just so deft. Very nice.

• 39:48Speaker 01

  There we go.

• 39:49Dan Pashman?

  See, what I would, what I do, the best I can do so far is to take two hands to tear.

• 39:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:54Dan Pashman?

  So I.

• 39:56Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 39:57Dan Pashman?

  And then I have, I have a piece and then I will pinch one end to make kind of a shovel.

• 40:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:01Dan Pashman?

  And then I will run that through.

• 40:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:04Dan Pashman?

  Whatever it is that I'm eating, the doll or whatever.

• 40:06Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 40:07Dan Pashman?

  Put that in my, like, use it like a little scoop and then scoop and then eat the whole thing.

• 40:10Speaker 01

  Instead of thinking of it as a scoop, almost do it like you're hovering over and you're gonna engulf the whole thing.

• 40:16Dan Pashman?

  Oh.

• 40:16Speaker 01

  Do you know what I mean?

• 40:17Dan Pashman?

  Yes.

• 40:17Speaker 01

  You know how like, think of it like a protective force field? This dome, so to speak, over the food. Create that dome and then pinch with your hands. Think of it like, you know, like, like an alien attack movie.

• 40:31Dan Pashman?

  Like Independence Day?

• 40:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:32Dan Pashman?

  The food is the White House.

• 40:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:34Dan Pashman?

  And my naan is the spaceship on top.

• 40:37Speaker 01

  And it comes over and then just come down.

• 40:40Dan Pashman?

  Right.

• 40:40Speaker 01

  And then just claw it up. But here's the thing, you have full protection on your fingers now because you have the naan like this.

• 40:46Dan Pashman?

  I see.

• 40:47Speaker 01

  Do you know what I mean?

• 40:47Dan Pashman?

  Yes.

• 40:48Speaker 01

  And then you're gonna get less on your fingers and on your hands.

• 41:05Dan Pashman?

  That's Daily Show correspondent Hassan Minaj. His new stand-up special is called Homecoming King. It's on Netflix starting May 23rd. Please remember to connect with me on social media, facebook.com/sporkful, on Twitter, at TheSporkful, and on Instagram, at TheSporkful. Especially Instagram, let's get those Instagram followers going, you guys. Because, you know, what I do is I'll take. Pictures of some of the things that I eat and I put them on Instagram. And who else is doing that? Who else is posting pictures of their food on Instagram? Almost no one. So please, follow me on Instagram @thesporckful. Also, remember to sign up for our email newsletter so you can find out what producer Anne Sandy and I are eating and reading. Sign up today at sporkful.com/newsletter. This show is produced by Anne Sandy and me. Editing help from Dan Charles.

• 41:49Dan Pashman?

  Music help from Black Label Music. The Sporkful is a production of Stitcher. Our executive producers are Chris Bannon and Jenny Radelit. Until next time, I'm Dan Pashman. And I'm Catherine from Nashville, reminding you to eat more, eat better, and eat more better.

• 42:18Dan Pashman?

  This reheat was produced by Gianna Palmer. The team that produces The Sporkful today includes me along with managing producer

• 42:24Speaker 03

  Emma Morgenstern.

• 42:25Dan Pashman?

  And senior producer

• 42:26Speaker 05

  Andres O'Hara.

• 42:27Dan Pashman?

  Our engineer is Jared O'Connell. Music help from Black Label Music. The Sporkful is a production of SiriusXM Podcasts. Our executive producer is Camille Stanley. And hey, did you know you can listen to The Sporkful on the SiriusXM app? Yes, the SiriusXM app, it has all your favorite podcasts, plus over 200 ad-free music channels curated by genre and era, plus live sports coverage. Does your podcasting app have that? And there's interviews with A-list stars and so much more. It's everything you want in a podcast app and music app all rolled into one. And right now, Sporkful listeners can get three months free of the SiriusXM app by going to siriusxm.com/sporkful. Until next time, I'm Dan Pashman.

• 43:12Speaker 04

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• 43:57Speaker 04

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• 44:10Dan Pashman?

  Hey, it's Dan here. Thank you so much, first of all, for tuning into this podcast every week. We really appreciate it. And I want to let you know, if you want to hear new episodes ad-free, subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts Plus on Apple Podcasts, or visit siriusxm.com/podcastsplus to listen with Spotify or another app of your choice. Thanks.