Matt Friend (impressionist)

Matt Friend (Grace Period, The Simpsons, Family Guy) is a stand-up comedian, impressionist, and actor. Matt joins the Armchair Expert to discuss exploring whether he’s enough beyond his voice in a new stand-up hour, his sister’s characterization of him as a glorified parrot, and roasting Trump to his face at the White House Correspondents Dinner. Matt and Dax discuss whether there might be a neurodivergence component to his impression skills, doing celebrities to themselves on the Golden Globes red carpet, and humoring the team by welcoming a few yet-to-be friends of the pod. Matt explains where he believes his compulsion towards mimicry comes from, being one of the first people in the world to be completely cured of food allergies, and the last time he cried. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ http://www.wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ now. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Milton Berle here with Barbara Walters.

• 0:05Speaker 01

  Hello.

• 0:06Speaker 00

  I'm just kidding, I'm Dan Shepard.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 0:08Speaker 00

  Horriously in shape.

• 0:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're looking good today.

• 0:12Speaker 00

  I've been reading and researching this kid, Matt Friend.

• 0:16Speaker 01

  Tell me.

• 0:17Speaker 00

  He's a funny guy on Instagram. Been seeing him all over, red carpets, stand-up touring.

• 0:23Speaker 01

  Cool.

• 0:24Speaker 00

  As I'm on my fitness, wellness journey, getting jacked and taking creatine.

• 0:30Speaker 01

  That's why are you bringing up your creatine.

• 0:32Speaker 00

  Well, because I can feel the creatine in my system.

• 0:37Speaker 01

  Okay, do you think you might have an unexpected E-bag?

• 0:40Speaker 00

  Well, we are presented by ZipRecruiter.

• 0:44Speaker 01

  Okay, let's get into the episode.

• 0:46Speaker 00

  Please enjoy, Matt Friend.

• 0:50Dax Shepard?

  We get support from Quince.

• 0:52Speaker 01

  Okay, can we talk about the fact that the holidays are already here? It's crazy. I feel like I blinked and now we're in gifting season, which I'm not really mad about because I do love giving gifts. And Quince is making it so easy to find something great for everyone on my list, including myself, because let's be honest, self-gifting is a love language.

• 1:12Dax Shepard?

  Quince is seriously the gift that keeps on giving. Their high-quality staples are made with premium materials like 100% Mongolian cashmere, 14-karat gold, and Italian leather. Full-on luxury quality at prices that won't wreck your holiday budget.

• 1:28Speaker 01

  It's the dream. The cashmere sweater, starting at $60, down jackets, wool outerwear, cashmere accessories. You and everyone on your list are staying cozy and looking incredible all season long.

• 1:39Dax Shepard?

  Well, I'm gonna tell you this, it just got chilly for the first time this year in California, and I'm so excited, and I'm wearing my Quince cashmere right now.

• 1:46Speaker 01

  It's great.

• 1:47Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and I am going to gift this to some of my friends. I hope they're not listening.

• 1:51Speaker 01

  Quince is also more than clothing. They've got fine jewelry for your significant other, leather bags for your bestie, hotel-quality bedding to set up your guest rooms, chef-grade cookware. That's an amazing thing they offer here, and it's such a good gift because people don't like buying cookware for themselves, but it's very important. And they also have Five star luggage, another good gift that people don't like buying for themselves.

• 2:13Dax Shepard?

  Give the gift of quality this holiday season. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Armchair Expert. It's the best way to support the show. This episode is supported by Helix.

• 2:38Speaker 01

  Okay, can we talk about how November is basically survival mode? Between the holidays, the travel, the hosting, the cooking, the everything. Sleep is the one thing keeping me from completely unraveling.

• 2:49Dax Shepard?

  It really is the foundation and I think people underestimate how much a bad mattress is quietly ruining their day. You wake up stiff, your back's angry, you're already behind before your feet hit the floor.

• 3:00Speaker 01

  That was me before Helix. I took their sleep quiz, which is so fast. It took me like two minutes and they matched me to a mattress that actually fits how I sleep. Not a guess, not a firm or soft coin flip. It's a real match. I have a midnight mattress and I really like it. I was noticing it because I actually had to sleep in it. One of my other beds recently that doesn't have a Helix mattress on it. And I really could tell a big difference in my sleep.

• 3:22Dax Shepard?

  Temperature was all over the map.

• 3:24Speaker 01

  It was a mess. I need a new one.

• 3:26Dax Shepard?

  Look, they've got over 20 mattress models. So whether you sleep hot, need extra back support, or you've got a partner who moves around all night, there's one built for you. Plus free shipping and a 365 night happy with Helix guarantee. That's a full year to decide.

• 3:40Speaker 01

  Helix has been named the most awarded mattress by Forbes, Wired and more. So it's not just us being enthusiastic. The experts agree.

• 3:47Dax Shepard?

  Right now Helix is running their Black Friday sale with up to 30% off. Go to helixsleep.com/armchair for up to 30% off your Helix mattress. That's helixsleep.com/armchair for up to 30% off your Helix mattress. Helixsleep.com/armchair.

• 4:22Speaker 00

  Hey, how are you?

• 4:24Speaker 01

  Hi, you're so tall!

• 4:25Speaker 00

  This is crazy.

• 4:26Dax Shepard?

  Yes, and he just worked with Seth Green.

• 4:28Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 4:29Dax Shepard?

  Seth Green keeps finding himself in these situations where he's with people that are way too tall.

• 4:34Speaker 00

  I mean, including his wife.

• 4:36Dax Shepard?

  Yes, Claire's tall.

• 4:37Speaker 01

  He's just owning it, which we love.

• 4:40Dax Shepard?

  He's the original short king. I mean, he's a fucking stud.

• 4:44Speaker 00

  Total.

• 4:44Speaker 01

  That's so true.

• 4:45Speaker 00

  This is so crazy.

• 4:46Dax Shepard?

  This is?

• 4:47Speaker 00

  This is crazy.

• 4:48Dax Shepard?

  Tell me why.

• 4:49Speaker 00

  Well, are we starting?

• 4:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, we're always starting.

• 4:51Speaker 00

  Well, the reason this is crazy, am I being blocked on camera? They haven't seen my face. Can you see me? Can you see? Oh, we have a camera over there? The reason this is crazy, because you gotta manifest things in life. I have a tweet, I think we can pull it up.

• 5:03Speaker 01

  No.

• 5:04Speaker 00

  I tweeted at you, "How many retweets to be on an episode of Armchair Expert Pod", and you responded, "I'm modest 900K."

• 5:12Speaker 01

  No!

• 5:13Speaker 00

  So that's real. I am a legit fan.

• 5:16Dax Shepard?

  Okay, hold on a second.

• 5:16Speaker 00

  And you can fact check that, because that is a real tweet.

• 5:19Dax Shepard?

  Also, Matt, that's March of 2018, so we had been at it for a month.

• 5:24Speaker 00

  Is that crazy?

• 5:25Dax Shepard?

  You were like first through the door.

• 5:25Speaker 00

  I mean, come on.

• 5:26Speaker 01

  Day one listener?

• 5:28Dax Shepard?

  I mean, this is back when I was on Twitter. This is a blast from the past.

• 5:30Speaker 00

  And before we get into it, welcome, welcome, welcome.

• 5:35Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, do you do a meme?

• 5:36Speaker 00

  Well, you do this thing with words that end in -ing. You go, "Been reading and researching and writing."

• 5:43Speaker 01

  I need to close my eyes.

• 5:44Speaker 00

  Oh, it's not great, yeah, just close your eyes. Reading.

• 5:48Speaker 01

  That was you.

• 5:49Speaker 00

  Oh, okay, okay. You go, "We are presented by Tropical Smoothie. Get your tropical smoothie."

• 5:58Speaker 00

  You know who else does it? One of your frequent guests, Bill Gates, does that. He'll be like, "Well, great to be reading and researching with Tax and Monica."

• 6:06Speaker 01

  That was really good.

• 6:07Dax Shepard?

  He sounds like Kermit the Frog.

• 6:08Speaker 00

  He does.

• 6:09Dax Shepard?

  So he's got a Kermit theme going. I do him as Kermit too, and then I feel like, is that justified?

• 6:15Speaker 00

  No, it isn't.

• 6:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:16Dax Shepard?

  I've got a few go-to sayings of his idea.

• 6:19Speaker 00

  This is crazy, I can't believe I'm here right now. This is unbelievable. I feel like I'm hallucinating.

• 6:22Speaker 01

  I can't believe you've been...

• 6:23Speaker 00

  This is a make-a-wish.

• 6:24Speaker 01

  No, no, no.

• 6:25Dax Shepard?

  You teach all handsome and healthy to be a Make-A-Wish.

• 6:28Speaker 01

  Now, since you've been here since the beginning, are you sad we're not upstairs?

• 6:33Speaker 00

  A little bit.

• 6:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:34Speaker 00

  But this is cool. This is the newer Wondery deal experience.

• 6:39Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 6:39Speaker 00

  You know, clearly we're making a lot of money here. And this is so cool. And before we get started too, I'm Walter Cronkite here with Barbara Walter. I'm sorry, I don't know. I'm stealing all of your stuff.

• 6:49Speaker 01

  I love it. You can do the whole show by yourself.

• 6:53Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I would love it. Probably like a lot of people, I'm just suggested reels. I'm wasting some time on Instagram and I start seeing you over and over again. And I reached out to the team and I was like, we gotta find this guy and get him in. But we're very late to the party. You've been on everything.

• 7:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:08Speaker 00

  I'm getting there.

• 7:08Dax Shepard?

  Was Kimmel the first person?

• 7:10Speaker 00

  Basically, I was doing stand up in college at NYU and then graduated in COVID in 2020. Finished my last semester of NYU at home. Graduated on Zoom, which was a lot of fun.

• 7:22Dax Shepard?

  What is a Zoom graduation?

• 7:23Speaker 00

  It was highly depressing.

• 7:24Dax Shepard?

  Is everyone in a grid?

• 7:26Speaker 00

  It was in a grid. We had classes online.

• 7:28Speaker 01

  Did you have to wear a cap and gown on Zoom?

• 7:30Speaker 00

  I think I did and I walked up and down my street that I grew up on in Chicago. Like to do like a fake graduation walk. It was so depressing.

• 7:38Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 7:38Speaker 00

  But then we got to make it up at NYU Yankee Stadium two years later.

• 7:42Speaker 01

  Oh, cool.

• 7:43Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow.

• 7:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:44Dax Shepard?

  Who was your commencement speech?

• 7:45Speaker 00

  So we had this poet who died and then the year before got Taylor Swift. So we got a little double screw.

• 7:51Dax Shepard?

  Okay, wait. Monica can't stop reading that out loud.

• 7:55Speaker 00

  Bill Cosby canceled.

• 7:56Speaker 01

  That's too bad.

• 7:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:58Speaker 01

  He's notoriously very funny.

• 8:00Speaker 00

  And good at commencement speeches.

• 8:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I've read that commencement speech, I think, only one time. You act like I've... Yeah, I've read it on the fact check and I'd like to read it every couple weeks.

• 8:12Dax Shepard?

  Can we agree on the fact that you queue it up a lot?

• 8:14Speaker 01

  I would like to read it more and it gets shut down.

• 8:17Dax Shepard?

  We decided she'd like to do it quarterly. That would feel good. You had a poet who passed?

• 8:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, she died, I think, like a year. You can fact check this. So this is a good fact check.

• 8:26Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 8:26Speaker 00

  I don't really remember exactly the graduation speech, but anyways, graduated in COVID and during that time I was posting on TikTok and on Instagram. And building a platform, just uploading videos, me and my phone, doing impressions of Sebastian Maniscalco and Barack Obama.

• 8:43Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 8:44Speaker 00

  Political and actors, Jeff Goldblum. And I would do celebrities putting on face masks. And that was like a little series I did. So I would do like Rami Malek, like, oh my God, this mask. It's so delectable, like just getting really weird with it.

• 9:00Dax Shepard?

  Like a moisturizing face mask.

• 9:01Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 9:02Dax Shepard?

  Oh, that's a good premise.

• 9:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's great.

• 9:04Dax Shepard?

  Who is your favorite of that series?

• 9:06Speaker 00

  Probably Goldblum because he's so animated and I feel like I'm kind of having a mild orgasm whenever I do him.

• 9:12Speaker 01

  Oh, fine.

• 9:13Speaker 00

  Very good to be here. Armchair expert Monica Padman, Dag Shepherd, of course, Kristen Bell. Very wonderful woman, plays a shiksa, Little Show, of course, dating a hot rabbi. Yes, yes. I don't know.

• 9:26Dax Shepard?

  What is this little?

• 9:27Speaker 00

  He's like moving his fingers.

• 9:28Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. How long could you stretch out a face mask video?

• 9:31Speaker 00

  I could do that for an hour. There were 30 second videos, but they started to blow up. And then different shows started to have me on over COVID, like Kimmel showed my stuff in the Today Show. And then I moved back to New York, started to do more stand up. I did my first hour attempt. And then last year, just a lot of things started to happen. Performed at the White House Correspondents Dinner.

• 9:51Dax Shepard?

  Yes. Voices on Simpsons and Family Guy. It's a great movie with Seth Green.

• 9:56Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 9:56Dax Shepard?

  Wild stuff.

• 9:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:58Speaker 01

  When'd you do the Correspondence?

• 9:59Speaker 00

  That was last year. Colin Jost headlined and then they had me get up in the middle of the room and do like three minutes.

• 10:06Speaker 01

  Who'd you do?

• 10:06Speaker 00

  I did Trump, McConnell, Obama and Bernie Sanders.

• 10:10Speaker 01

  Boy, were you scared?

• 10:11Speaker 00

  Well, it was weird because they'd never had another comedian in addition to the headliner before.

• 10:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:17Speaker 00

  So there's Correspondents Dinner, it has a headlining comedian roast the president in the room. Then they had me before Colin Jost. So I don't think I've ever really talked about this. Great to be doing it on Armchair Expert. See it on Truth Social after the show. I was at the Correspondents Dinner and the premise was I get up not on the podium, standing in the middle of the room, like 4,000 people.

• 10:39Speaker 01

  Right.

• 10:39Speaker 00

  Light comes on me and then I do four impressions and the hook was I'm Trump reacting to a viral moment of when Obama roasted him years ago at the Correspondents Dinner, which many say was the starting point of the Trump campaign. I know you had Seth Meyers on recently and Seth was roasting Trump too. So then I was supposed to react to that moment and be like, great to be at this failing dinner with so many losers on the left, on the right, terrible people. And by the way, I have to say, I love this podcast. We love the Indians, we love the whites, they're great people. J D Vance, we love you too, probably. And then I went to Obama, McConnell, we love the whites.

• 11:20Speaker 00

  And Bernie, but it was a strange thing because A, my level of fame is at a certain point where I'm very aware of it. I'm not Jimmy Fallon, so a lot of people were like, who is this person?

• 11:30Dax Shepard?

  You're a stranger.

• 11:30Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:30Speaker 01

  Right.

• 11:31Speaker 00

  So it's one thing when you're Seth Meyers and you go into a room like that and people are more ready for it, but a lot of people were thinking, what is happening right now? It was so crazy because everyone from the most conservative Republican to the most liberal person, they're all there, they're all afraid to laugh. And then I got lucky because it cut to Scarlett Johansson when I was doing a Mitch McConnell impression.

• 11:49Speaker 01

  Oh, great.

• 11:50Dax Shepard?

  And she was letting it rip.

• 11:52Speaker 00

  And I was like, it's great to be at the dinner. I actually brought these wherever I go, I travel with these and I just said, it's great to be here.

• 12:01Speaker 01

  You do look like him.

• 12:03Speaker 00

  Then it cut to her and she was laughing and Lorne Michaels went like this.

• 12:06Speaker 01

  Oh, that must have.

• 12:08Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, when she was laughing, it gave permission to everyone else to let it rip.

• 12:12Speaker 00

  I think so. I mean, the clip, it looked great and it was a surreal experience. Biden was 40 feet away from me.

• 12:17Speaker 01

  That's so cool.

• 12:17Dax Shepard?

  I think what's interesting about that dinner, and you've been and experienced it, is it's like the homecoming dance. The reporters are the stars that night and they're bringing famous people and then also these famous politicians. It's like this weird cross pollination of every type of fame.

• 12:33Speaker 00

  It's bizarre.

• 12:34Dax Shepard?

  And then in any room, you're trying to figure out like, just as a monkey, you do this. Who has the status here? Is Jake Tapper a bu- you know.

• 12:42Speaker 01

  Right.

• 12:42Speaker 00

  It is weird, because unlike the Oscars or an award show, it's the people running the world. It's not necessarily just an actor. It's the Secretary of State is sitting there.

• 12:50Dax Shepard?

  That's what's so fascinating about it is one has objectively more sway over the world. And true power, yet this shiny flashy thing can trump that. I think that's what's so interesting. Is you've got someone who's like pretty good on a sitcom is somehow outshining the Secretary of State, which is just funny.

• 13:08Speaker 00

  It is. It's an important tradition, I think. They didn't have a comedian this year, which I thought was a mistake.

• 13:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:13Speaker 00

  So I feel like if we lose our ability to start poking fun at those in power.

• 13:17Dax Shepard?

  Why didn't they have a comedian? What did they have?

• 13:18Speaker 00

  I think their argument was that it's such a serious time that we have to really focus on journalism and what really matters. But isn't any time super serious?

• 13:27Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, in fact, it's a silly time. Maybe we get in this.

• 13:30Speaker 01

  Some serious shit. Yeah.

• 13:31Speaker 00

  The poet, yes. You always gotta have comedy. I want to headline, that's my dream to do that.

• 13:37Dax Shepard?

  Okay, really quick, just because.

• 13:38Speaker 00

  What is this, the Dill flower? I mean, this guy, it's unbelievable.

• 13:41Dax Shepard?

  You are in outrageous shape. I see it online, and you look fantastic, too.

• 13:45Speaker 01

  Thank you, I feel this is unfair.

• 13:47Dax Shepard?

  You do, you look amazing.

• 13:48Speaker 01

  I should've worn something tighter.

• 13:49Dax Shepard?

  It's the arms.

• 13:50Speaker 00

  Very armchair expert, yeah.

• 13:52Dax Shepard?

  Would you say with impersonations, could you bracket it into, okay, the base of this is like, it's this kind of a thing? Because when I hear you do me, what I'm hearing is this is in the nasal category.

• 14:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, you have a nasal.

• 14:07Dax Shepard?

  Well, it's a deeper.

• 14:08Speaker 00

  Welcome, welcome, welcome to our chair expert.

• 14:10Dax Shepard?

  Monty was talking to me about it. And when Brad was on the show, I was saying, wow, I couldn't believe that story.

• 14:18Speaker 01

  I gotta close my eyes again.

• 14:20Dax Shepard?

  You know, she can't look at me when I do anything. And of course, you do, she can't look at you.

• 14:24Speaker 00

  We are presented by Trojan.

• 14:27Dax Shepard?

  We are.

• 14:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, I need to hear them back to back.

• 14:31Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 14:31Speaker 01

  You say a sentence and then that repeat.

• 14:33Dax Shepard?

  Okay, okay, okay.

• 14:34Speaker 01

  Okay, ready?

• 14:35Speaker 00

  We are supported by ZipRecruiter. Ow. Get recruiting. Get recruiting.

• 14:43Speaker 01

  That was good.

• 14:44Speaker 00

  Of course, the difference is one of us gets 60 million to do that. The other one is just here for free, which is great. I would say that's a problem. That's an example of my Trump Tourette's, by the way.

• 14:54Dax Shepard?

  Lean into your Trump Tourette's as much as you want.

• 14:56Speaker 00

  Because you can say anything you want in his voice. So I do it to say things that I could not say as myself.

• 15:02Dax Shepard?

  Exactly. It's a great smokescreen.

• 15:04Speaker 01

  Rogan had Trump on and got apparently 100 million views. So we could use those. So like bring in Trump.

• 15:10Speaker 00

  Well, isn't Kristen a beauty? She's a beauty, right? We love Kristen. We love a skinny blonde. That's great.

• 15:19Dax Shepard?

  Back to the mechanics of it. Are you hearing something and you realize like, oh, that's in this pocket? Or that's in this pocket?

• 15:26Speaker 00

  I don't even really think about it.

• 15:27Dax Shepard?

  It just happens, right?

• 15:28Speaker 00

  My sister Nina called me a glorified parrot. I've been doing it since I was four years old. Like I watched Austin Powers. Speaking of Seth Green, that's the movie that got me like obsessed with comedy. And then I just started to mimic people and I love actors and just to replicate movie scenes. Sometimes I'll just hear a voice. I'll just start to work on it and then it'll kind of come out.

• 15:48Dax Shepard?

  You just said Tourette's and I literally wrote that down.

• 15:51Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:51Dax Shepard?

  I'm wondering, do you have mimic Tourette's? My wife has it because my wife is a mimic. And when we're watching TV, we're watching like The Crown.

• 16:00Speaker 00

  Oh, yes, I do. Yes.

• 16:01Dax Shepard?

  So we're watching it and I just hear her. She's trying not to let me hear and she'll go.

• 16:10Dax Shepard?

  She has to do it if she had that.

• 16:11Speaker 00

  I'm glad you brought that up because with The Crown, their voices are so weird. Charles in the show, none of their words have any spaces. They're all one word. I was doing a bit in COVID of King Charles singing Wet Ass Pussy by Cardi B.

• 16:22Dax Shepard?

  Okay, let's hear that.

• 16:23Speaker 00

  Now from the top, you can make a drop. That's some nice, moist and tight, wettest pussy. It sounds so classy when you say it. It's like served on a dish. What is pussy indeed is of course is. I think they say the word yes, E A R S, like ears is.

• 16:38Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 16:39Speaker 00

  It's strange. I met Dominic West at the Golden Globes and he did Charles.

• 16:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:44Speaker 00

  Oh, right, right, right. Like a Charles off and he was, the words go together, you know, strange. It is weird.

• 16:50Dax Shepard?

  But when you're in bed with a man or a woman?

• 16:52Speaker 00

  A woman.

• 16:53Dax Shepard?

  Well, whatever you want, yeah, woman. Any safe port in a storm, are you?

• 16:57Speaker 00

  Am I mimicking? Well, in my standup hour.

• 16:59Speaker 01

  Check it out.

• 17:00Speaker 00

  I talk a lot about that.

• 17:01Dax Shepard?

  Tell me a little bit.

• 17:02Speaker 00

  In the hour, there is that question of do I do voices when I'm having a sexual experience?

• 17:07Speaker 01

  Oh, and?

• 17:09Speaker 00

  And? Well, I guess you gotta come to the show to find out. Or match with me on Riot. But the thesis of my hour that I'm working on now in my standup is, is my voice enough? Am I enough? Without the impression, will people like me for me? And we explore that in the hour.

• 17:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you interviewed Hank Azaria on your show.

• 17:28Speaker 00

  Yes, he was my dad's college roommate.

• 17:29Dax Shepard?

  Which is wild. Tough?

• 17:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 17:32Dax Shepard?

  Tough.

• 17:32Speaker 01

  And your dad is also Matthew Perry's dad?

• 17:36Speaker 00

  No, no.

• 17:37Dax Shepard?

  What?

• 17:38Speaker 01

  Why did you say that on Wikipedia?

• 17:40Speaker 00

  That would be wild. Sadly, I'm not a nepo, baby.

• 17:42Speaker 01

  Damn it.

• 17:43Speaker 00

  Hold on, hold on, hold on.

• 17:44Speaker 01

  I literally read this.

• 17:45Dax Shepard?

  You read, I think you're on a janky wiki, because I read his wiki and I did not see that.

• 17:50Speaker 00

  I haven't done as much on my Wikipedia yet.

• 17:51Speaker 01

  Okay, it wasn't on Wikipedia, it was just when I Googled you.

• 17:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 17:55Speaker 01

  One of the questions that came up is who is your father? And it said.

• 18:00Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I know how this happened.

• 18:01Speaker 01

  How did this happen?

• 18:02Dax Shepard?

  Because Hank Azaria's, one of his best friends was Matthew Perry.

• 18:06Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 18:06Dax Shepard?

  And his other best friend is his dad.

• 18:08Speaker 00

  They were close, yeah.

• 18:09Dax Shepard?

  So the AI was like, oh, I can put these together.

• 18:11Speaker 00

  Interesting.

• 18:12Dax Shepard?

  Right?

• 18:12Speaker 00

  Guess that's why we shouldn't be trusting AI.

• 18:14Speaker 01

  Exactly, this is exhibit A.

• 18:16Dax Shepard?

  How it happened.

• 18:17Speaker 00

  But, no, they were friends in college and then Hank, that was a huge inspiration. Growing up, I didn't know what acting was and comedy and I grew up in Chicago. I didn't have a show business family.

• 18:26Dax Shepard?

  What did your dad do?

• 18:27Speaker 00

  He's in finance. Can't you tell by looking at me?

• 18:29Dax Shepard?

  Kinda.

• 18:30Speaker 01

  You're the finance guy.

• 18:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, thank you.

• 18:32Dax Shepard?

  You also have the vibe of the super cute actor you love.

• 18:35Speaker 01

  Oh, Zack.

• 18:36Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 18:37Speaker 01

  You do.

• 18:38Speaker 00

  Zack who?

• 18:38Speaker 01

  Zack.

• 18:39Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my god.

• 18:40Speaker 00

  You're not getting a date now.

• 18:42Speaker 01

  Yesterday and my brain doesn't work today. I couldn't get in the gate earlier.

• 18:46Dax Shepard?

  Oh, you couldn't?

• 18:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, this is bad.

• 18:47Dax Shepard?

  Did you have a fiery shit?

• 18:49Speaker 01

  I don't want to talk about it.

• 18:50Speaker 00

  Okay, I did.

• 18:51Speaker 01

  We did Hot Ones versus.

• 18:53Speaker 00

  This is amazing.

• 18:53Speaker 01

  Zack Woods.

• 18:55Speaker 00

  There we go. Oh, you're like Zack Woods.

• 18:56Speaker 01

  You're like Zack Woods. You have a vibe.

• 18:58Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, he's kind of like, kind of talks like that, right?

• 19:01Speaker 01

  A little bit.

• 19:01Dax Shepard?

  He's a little more.

• 19:02Speaker 00

  He was in Silicon Valley.

• 19:03Speaker 01

  He was in Silicon Valley, yeah.

• 19:04Speaker 00

  He has a great Instagram account.

• 19:06Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, he does.

• 19:07Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, it's so funny.

• 19:08Speaker 00

  But it's a vibe. It's an archetype now.

• 19:10Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 19:11Speaker 00

  And girls love it, so congrats.

• 19:12Dax Shepard?

  Thank you.

• 19:13Speaker 00

  Well, I'm trying to get jacked. I mean, I have a trainer now. This guy, Don Saladino, who does Ryan Reynolds.

• 19:18Dax Shepard?

  I don't believe that.

• 19:19Speaker 00

  I do.

• 19:19Dax Shepard?

  You have a trainer named Don Saladino?

• 19:21Speaker 00

  Don Saladino. He's a fitness trainer.

• 19:23Dax Shepard?

  That sounds like a builder of speedboats.

• 19:24Speaker 00

  He does like Sebastian Stan. I think you would like him, actually, but you don't need a trainer.

• 19:28Speaker 01

  Why do you want to look like this?

• 19:29Speaker 00

  Because he looks great.

• 19:30Speaker 01

  Define great.

• 19:31Speaker 00

  Well, I mean, he looks in shape. It's also feeling a certain way.

• 19:33Speaker 01

  Okay, that's what I want to get to.

• 19:35Speaker 00

  I love how I feel.

• 19:36Speaker 01

  So you want to feel confident.

• 19:38Speaker 00

  So my guy, Don,'s got me on this program, and I'm gonna get ripped.

• 19:40Dax Shepard?

  Tell me about the program.

• 19:41Speaker 00

  I mean, I'm lifting. He's got this Deadpool program, as he calls it.

• 19:45Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay.

• 19:46Speaker 00

  Trying to get little Dax Shepard shredded.

• 19:48Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 19:49Speaker 00

  A lot of protein, creatine, whey.

• 19:51Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Great, great, great.

• 19:53Speaker 00

  I'll keep you posted.

• 19:54Dax Shepard?

  Here's my hunch. I bet you and I have the same motivation, which is I bet you are super tall and skinny, as was I.

• 20:01Speaker 00

  I think I am.

• 20:02Dax Shepard?

  Well, no, you look completely proportional, but I bet when you were 15, you looked insane. Did you look insane?

• 20:07Speaker 00

  Scrawny. Yeah, I did.

• 20:08Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, insane. So I think if you grew up tall and skinny.

• 20:11Speaker 01

  That's what I'm getting at.

• 20:12Dax Shepard?

  Good job.

• 20:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, because not everyone seeks to be huge.

• 20:17Speaker 00

  Look like Schwarzenegger.

• 20:18Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 20:18Speaker 01

  So there's a reason.

• 20:19Speaker 00

  True.

• 20:20Speaker 01

  And that is probably the reason.

• 20:22Speaker 00

  But back to voices.

• 20:24Dax Shepard?

  Hold on, this is good. This is good. Yeah, yeah.

• 20:26Speaker 01

  You know what the show is about. It's about this.

• 20:29Speaker 00

  Yes, it is.

• 20:30Dax Shepard?

  And you're 6'4"?

• 20:30Speaker 01

  You're doing great.

• 20:31Speaker 00

  6'3 and 1/2, roughly?

• 20:32Dax Shepard?

  If you're 6'3 and 1/2, then I'm 6'1 and 1/2.

• 20:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, because you are much taller.

• 20:37Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 20:37Speaker 01

  Unless the muscles are shrinking you. They might be. This is a cautionary tale.

• 20:44Dax Shepard?

  Compacting my spine. So would you put my voice in Owen Wilson umbrella?

• 20:50Speaker 00

  Wow. You've got a little bit of that, almost Jake Tamper-y right here, Sienna and Jake Tamper. Like, you do have kind of a nasal, but a deep nasal.

• 20:58Dax Shepard?

  Deep nasal.

• 20:59Speaker 00

  Like Howard Stern is all the way down here.

• 21:01Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I want to talk to Howard.

• 21:02Speaker 00

  I want to do a fun thing, which is you could fulfill a lot of wishes. We didn't talk about the sex in bed, though.

• 21:06Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, let's go back to sex in bed.

• 21:08Speaker 00

  Do I do voices in bed?

• 21:10Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 21:10Speaker 00

  That's, I explore that, yeah. I do have a bit in my hour that a girl didn't want to have sex with me. She wanted to be with Trump.

• 21:16Speaker 01

  Oh. Oh, you can fulfill kinks.

• 21:19Speaker 00

  And she's like, I want you to talk dirty to me. And I'm like, excuse me? She goes, I want you to call me nasty. I'm like, what? Uh, and then she goes, I want you to call me a dog. I'm like, what? And then she goes, I want you to grab me by the pussy.

• 21:31Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 21:32Speaker 00

  And I'm like, oh my God. She doesn't want to be with me. She wants to be with Donald Trump. And then I started freaking out and crying and hyperventilating. And I go into my bathroom, I splash cold water on my face. I'm like, this must violate HIPAA. I'm not Daniel Day-Lewis, I'm about a method actor. Go back into my bedroom and I look at her, I said, you know what? You really hurt my feelings. And let me just tell you. I am gonna build a wall around this pussy so big. Gonna eat that ass like a burrito bowl at Trump Tower and bang your vagina like China. Thank you very much. That's a little comedy twist. Bang your vagina like China. That's not really necessarily true.

• 22:06Dax Shepard?

  So we have the same thing, minus Frito. So when I want to say the most toxic things in my head, I let Frito from Idiocracy do the talking.

• 22:16Speaker 00

  Well, I can talk to you. Oh, look at this guy, so tough. He's got a lot of sauce in him. But it's fun like, that's amazing. But it's fun like in stand-up to explore all of these other like hypothetical and funny. Cause my voice, people think I'm telling a joke all the time.

• 22:29Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 22:30Speaker 00

  Like, no one knows that I'm not telling a joke. I was on a date with a girl and she's like, are you trying to be funny? I'm like, I just ordered a gazpacho. It was like, what if the gazpacho right after a commercial? I always sound like I'm delivering major breaking news.

• 22:40Speaker 01

  I mean, gazpacho is a funny food, though.

• 22:42Dax Shepard?

  It is, it's hard to say.

• 22:44Speaker 01

  But yeah, your voice on its own is so distinct that it is interesting.

• 22:48Dax Shepard?

  Does your dad have this voice?

• 22:49Speaker 00

  No, I don't really know where this came from.

• 22:52Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, okay, back to Tourette's. Do you have to silence yourself when you're watching a movie with a friend?

• 22:58Speaker 00

  No.

• 22:58Dax Shepard?

  It's not like a tic?

• 22:59Speaker 00

  I can control it.

• 23:00Dax Shepard?

  I mean, the other dicey thing I want to ask you is, do you think? It's such a unique gift. We just don't see it on this level very often. Do you think it's associated with any neurodivergence or anything?

• 23:13Speaker 00

  I have absolutely no idea. That's an Eric Topol question.

• 23:16Dax Shepard?

  And I don't mean to offend, I'm just, it's like so unique, I can't help but wonder.

• 23:19Speaker 00

  I don't know.

• 23:20Dax Shepard?

  Is it tied to anything?

• 23:21Speaker 00

  It's interesting. I just met Seth MacFarlane at the premiere of. His new movie.

• 23:26Dax Shepard?

  Yes, we love it.

• 23:28Speaker 00

  I said, like, you're my idol, I love you. He goes, with that voice, how is Peter Jennings not your idol? And like, we were going back and forth and it was kind of crazy because he is a similar thing.

• 23:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:36Dax Shepard?

  I watched you guys, it was really eerie and uncanny.

• 23:40Speaker 00

  But I don't know if there's a neuro divergence component to it.

• 23:45Speaker 01

  It's definitely a talent, though.

• 23:46Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 23:46Speaker 01

  Like, it's not something that everyone, if practiced, could do. It's like singing. Can you sing?

• 23:51Speaker 00

  I can sing.

• 23:52Speaker 01

  I wonder if there's a connection there.

• 23:53Dax Shepard?

  You sang with, um, Buble.

• 23:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:56Dax Shepard?

  And it sounded beautiful. What song?

• 23:57Speaker 00

  We did, "I'm not surprised, not everything lasts." What was the song I did with him? Like, "Out of the tree of life, I just picked me a plum." Doopie da, doo de, bo de da de da. "You came along and everything started to hum." "Baby, birds flying high." "You know how I feel, sun in the sky." "You know how I'm sure expert feels." "Breeze drifting on Monica."

• 24:31Dax Shepard?

  Tie your pants off.

• 24:33Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 24:34Speaker 00

  I was doing him next to him. One thing I really want to do this coming year is a musical album and get celebs to make a cameo. I want you on there.

• 24:42Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Well, I won't be asked to sing, will I?

• 24:44Speaker 00

  We'll figure it out.

• 24:45Speaker 01

  You've been polite so far. You've only done Dax, but I want to hear me.

• 24:49Speaker 00

  If I could adjust my vocal cords to do that.

• 24:51Speaker 01

  You can't get me.

• 24:52Speaker 00

  It would be incredible.

• 24:53Speaker 01

  Too high.

• 24:54Speaker 00

  I'm gonna study you more.

• 24:55Speaker 01

  Too high?

• 24:55Speaker 00

  It'd be tough.

• 24:56Speaker 01

  Is it high?

• 24:57Speaker 00

  I do Jennifer Coolidge. That's like the only woman that I can really.

• 25:00Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, let's hear Coolidge.

• 25:01Speaker 00

  I did this at the Golden Globes on the red carpet. I did Jennifer Coolidge after sipping on a cold drink.

• 25:07Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 25:07Speaker 00

  I just go, "Oh." "Oh, God." "Oh, it tastes so good." That like broke the internet because people didn't know that she had a regular speaking voice and she was responding to me like, "Oh, it's good to see you." And like, she sounded kind of normal.

• 25:24Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 25:24Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 25:25Speaker 00

  A Monica will be tough. I gotta work on it.

• 25:27Speaker 01

  Interesting.

• 25:28Dax Shepard?

  Fallon did your laugh.

• 25:30Speaker 01

  He said, "I have a few laughs," and he did a few of them.

• 25:32Speaker 00

  But he was?

• 25:33Dax Shepard?

  He was more mastering, again. And if you break down all the elements to an impersonation, what Fallon could do perfectly was the cadence and rhythm of the thing.

• 25:42Speaker 00

  He does do that.

• 25:43Dax Shepard?

  Syncopation of it, not necessarily the tone.

• 25:45Speaker 00

  I interned for him.

• 25:46Dax Shepard?

  While, and while you, did you interact with him at all?

• 25:49Speaker 00

  I wasn't allowed to. He was amazing, but like there was such stress as an intern, like to not look at.

• 25:54Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 25:55Speaker 01

  Don't bother anyone.

• 25:56Speaker 00

  Like if Dax Shepard is coming on the show, don't look at him. You could look at him, but like just keep a distance.

• 26:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:01Dax Shepard?

  Don't stare, maybe.

• 26:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, and I kind of get it though. It's like you're about to go on national TV. It's a big deal. You can't have some kid fanning out.

• 26:08Dax Shepard?

  What was your fantasy of that experience versus what it was when you did it?

• 26:13Speaker 00

  My fantasy of the experience was that someone would find out that I could do it.

• 26:17Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 26:18Speaker 00

  Gotta get this guy on the show, bud. This is crazy.

• 26:20Dax Shepard?

  That's exactly what I'd be thinking.

• 26:21Speaker 00

  Instead, I was getting salad.

• 26:22Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 26:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:23Dax Shepard?

  And then you never really got to interface.

• 26:25Speaker 00

  No, but I did just see him at the premiere of Happy Gilmore and he was like, you gotta come on the show, bud. Come on the show, bud.

• 26:31Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah.

• 26:32Speaker 00

  But I'm here. This is the dream. This is I'm your expert.

• 26:34Speaker 01

  God, yeah, let's stop talking about other shows. This is the show.

• 26:38Speaker 00

  Seriously. I hope I'm delivering. I want to deliver on here. You ever think about that? Like you're in a moment like this. Whenever I do anything like this, I will be in the car after this thinking, oh my God, I should have said this. I could have done this.

• 26:47Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 26:47Speaker 00

  Isn't it the worst?

• 26:48Dax Shepard?

  It is the worst and you can't avoid that. That is the beginning.

• 26:53Speaker 00

  I always have it.

• 26:54Dax Shepard?

  It's just the beginning. No, it'll pass and it seems unimaginable.

• 26:57Speaker 00

  You think it'll pass?

• 26:58Dax Shepard?

  It will pass.

• 26:59Speaker 00

  But it's almost good to have that mindset because then you might not deliver in the moment.

• 27:02Dax Shepard?

  I'm gonna give you the Bill Murray quote I watched on Letterman, which I thought, God, I wish I had heard that younger. And even, maybe I would have heard it and I wouldn't be able to accept it. But Letterman said to him, how have you been so consistently great for 30 years? Like you started a comedic genre that everyone's still doing. And he said, if I can just relax, I know it'll come. Bill said that.

• 27:26Speaker 00

  Interesting.

• 27:27Dax Shepard?

  And I was like, oh, could I work from that level of confidence? I don't have to force anything to happen. If I can chill and relax and breathe, I can do the thing. I can counter punch.

• 27:40Speaker 00

  That's the thing, I can be relaxed. Like, I feel relaxed right now.

• 27:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:43Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 27:44Speaker 00

  But I will still be thinking, what else could I have said?

• 27:46Speaker 01

  After, yeah.

• 27:47Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 27:48Speaker 00

  That's why I started therapy recently, Dex.

• 27:50Dax Shepard?

  Did you?

• 27:50Speaker 00

  And Monica.

• 27:50Speaker 01

  Good job.

• 27:51Speaker 00

  I did.

• 27:51Dax Shepard?

  You did.

• 27:52Speaker 01

  Better help?

• 27:53Dax Shepard?

  What?

• 27:53Speaker 01

  Welcome.

• 27:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 27:55Speaker 01

  We are supportive.

• 27:56Speaker 00

  Welcome, welcome, no matter how.

• 27:57Speaker 01

  Wait, but I think you will, over time, not feel that every time you leave a place, but there will always be a place where you'll leave and have that. Like, the stakes will just get higher and higher. Well, you're already doing White House Correspondents.

• 28:12Speaker 00

  It's kind of a crappy part of human nature.

• 28:13Dax Shepard?

  I wanted to come on this podcast for so long, and then I'll be like, oh, what did I miss? Over time, it's like, you're just returning to places. It doesn't have the stakes of it. And then you've also earned a bit of a reputation. It's like, yeah, I could go on Kimmel next week and not be that good. I've been good on it many times. Even more importantly is self-realization, actualization is like, and I'm still lovable if I'm fine. I'm presenting at something on Saturday, and I read the script. He's like, please punch it up if you want. And I did have the thought, I was like, or not? Maybe just go and I say what was written? And then I go home and I have a great night?

• 28:47Speaker 00

  This is post-Wondry deal.

• 28:48Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you're 1,000% right. I've been given some blessings, but I do think you can get to that mental space without that.

• 28:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 28:57Dax Shepard?

  And I think you're more attractive when you're in that mental space.

• 29:00Speaker 00

  I think that's true. There is a neuroticism that comes with comedy. You have to be a little bit on edge in a certain capacity to get, whether it's a funny viral moment at an award show, or to do an hour of stand-up comedy in the middle of the, to make different audiences laugh.

• 29:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 29:15Speaker 00

  You have to maintain a little bit of it, but I do think you can be relaxed. But even so, like, I made notes on this before the show, like, these are some things that I want to hit.

• 29:22Dax Shepard?

  Of course.

• 29:23Speaker 00

  Like, let's not forget you had Obama on here, we got to talk about that.

• 29:26Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow, that's an interesting take.

• 29:28Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 29:29Speaker 00

  I go more Kermit with my Obama, as you know.

• 29:31Speaker 01

  Well, most of yours are Kermit, if we're gonna be honest.

• 29:35Dax Shepard?

  Can I do my Obama for you?

• 29:36Speaker 00

  Go ahead.

• 29:37Dax Shepard?

  Max, Sasha, Malia, Michelle, we'll all have a good place. It's not that good.

• 29:43Speaker 01

  It's not bad.

• 29:44Speaker 00

  With Obama, there are really three modes to his voice.

• 29:46Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, tell me.

• 29:47Speaker 00

  There's Obama when he would make a speech, he'd be very stern, he would look to a crowd, and he would say, "Tonight..." More than 200 years. After a former colony won the right to determine its own destiny.

• 30:03Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 30:03Speaker 00

  The task of perfecting our union moves forward. It moves forward because of you. It moves forward because you reaffirmed the spirit that has triumphed over our nation through war and depression. The belief that each, okay. And then there's Obama when he would be with kids and his voice would get higher pitched. At the White House, Halloween. What are you dressed up as? You are a fairy. That is so cute. Come on now. That is really good. And then there's the bro-y Obama.

• 30:35Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 30:35Speaker 00

  At the White House with an NBA team.

• 30:37Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 30:37Speaker 00

  And he would be like, LeBron James is here. LeBron, he is the second best player to wear the number 23. Come on now. So that's great. Thank you.

• 30:47Dax Shepard?

  You know what? Can I tell you something?

• 30:48Speaker 01

  This is great.

• 30:49Dax Shepard?

  The look on Monica's face, she reserves it for when she's seen great magic.

• 30:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's how it feels to me.

• 30:56Speaker 00

  You guys had him on. I got to meet him last year before the DNC. In Chicago, that turned out well.

• 31:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:02Speaker 00

  I was invited to meet.

• 31:03Speaker 01

  Thanks a lot.

• 31:04Speaker 00

  Say it again?

• 31:04Speaker 01

  Thanks a lot.

• 31:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, seriously. I was invited to meet Obama in Chicago. So I almost missed it because my flight was delayed. I was freaking out. His team invited me and a couple other creators to do a video with him in an effort to get out the vote.

• 31:18Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 31:19Speaker 00

  So I go to this hotel in Chicago. You would never know he was there. There was some security. But then I go up to the 15th floor. Suddenly I'm brought to this waiting room. There's Secret Service casually all over the place. And then I'm brought to this waiting room. Forty minutes pass. Brought to this other room. I guess Michelle walked by and I missed her. Then I go into this hotel room and it's very well lit. The light is pouring in and Obama is just standing there.

• 31:46Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 31:46Speaker 00

  And there is probably his assistant and one guard. And that's the only people in the room. It felt like I was hallucinating, like he's standing there. Hearing his voice, it felt like it was coming through a TV screen.

• 31:56Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 31:57Speaker 00

  And then he looks at me and he goes, Matt, what are we gonna do today? Michelle, we've seen some of your videos. It's good. It's funny.

• 32:04Dax Shepard?

  He always brings Michelle into it.

• 32:06Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 32:06Dax Shepard?

  Anything he told me.

• 32:08Speaker 00

  Which is smart, by the way.

• 32:09Speaker 01

  Hot kettle. My God.

• 32:11Speaker 00

  Smart, as he should.

• 32:13Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 32:13Speaker 01

  Every other set involves Kristen, which is very, very sweet, but we cannot.

• 32:19Speaker 00

  Probably why I noticed it.

• 32:20Speaker 01

  Throw stones, exactly.

• 32:21Dax Shepard?

  I'm more suspicious of his, because his is like, you know, Michelle, Malia.

• 32:26Speaker 00

  Michelle, Sasha, Malia, Bo.

• 32:28Dax Shepard?

  Malia.

• 32:29Speaker 01

  Bo.

• 32:29Dax Shepard?

  We love The Good Place. And I'm like, does he, or did he hear his daughters and his wife?

• 32:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:33Dax Shepard?

  Is she his source of all pop culture?

• 32:37Speaker 00

  I don't know.

• 32:38Dax Shepard?

  Or is it just he adores her?

• 32:39Speaker 01

  Like, same.

• 32:40Speaker 00

  But it was great. Like, I did him next to him, and then I just did like his three greatest hits. Like, when he made a jump shot, he goes, "That's what I do. Thank you."

• 32:49Dax Shepard?

  When I interviewed him, I challenged him on that.

• 32:51Speaker 00

  Did you?

• 32:51Dax Shepard?

  I said, "That was a dick move. You're there to try to support Biden. Biden can't fucking make a jump shot. You drop it from the three, you can't do that."

• 32:59Speaker 01

  No, but it was a great video.

• 33:00Speaker 00

  It was. It was a great video.

• 33:02Dax Shepard?

  For Obama, yeah.

• 33:03Speaker 00

  It was.

• 33:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was a great video.

• 33:04Speaker 00

  It was crazy.

• 33:07Dax Shepard?

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare. We get support from Skims. Okay, I have a confession. I genuinely love matching pajamas. It's the best part of Christmas morning, really. Everyone in the same matching set, looking ridiculously cute in front of the tree.

• 33:28Speaker 01

  I love matching pajamas. I'm literally gonna be in coordinating sets with all my friends this holiday season. Because I got them, spoiler to my friends who are listening, the same Skims pajama set I've been living in. They are so soft and cozy, and they look cute. So you can leave the house and go get a late night hot chocolate, be cozy.

• 33:49Dax Shepard?

  It's so great how Skims has sets for everyone, too. Women's, men's, kids, even your pets. So nobody in your life has to be left out this year.

• 33:58Speaker 01

  I have a bunch of different pajama sets. One of my favorite is the organic cotton sleep long sleeve set.

• 34:05Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 34:06Speaker 01

  It is so comfortable, very chic, too. The top is a button down, but very, very soft, easy to sleep in. But as I said before, you can multi-purpose this and look super cute.

• 34:18Dax Shepard?

  Hot chocolate runs. It's like the pajamas we grew up in, except without the scratchy polyester that made opening presents feel more like a hot yoga class that nobody signed up for.

• 34:27Speaker 01

  All the nostalgia, none of the discomfort. Shop my favorite loungewear and pajamas at skims.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcasts in the survey and be sure to select armchair expert in the dropdown menu that follows. If you're looking for the perfect gifts for everyone on your list, the Skims Holiday Shop is now open at skims.com.

• 34:47Dax Shepard?

  This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Every family has that one holiday tradition nobody actually enjoys, but everyone keeps doing because stopping it would feel like a federal offense. For me, it was a specific meal situation that I will not name because my family listens. But at some point, you have to ask yourself, am I doing this because I love it or because I'm afraid of what happens if I don't?

• 35:09Speaker 01

  Yes, and that question applies to so much more than the holidays. I think a lot of us carry these invisible rules about how we're supposed to spend the holidays, who we're supposed to see, what it's supposed to look like. And when you start unpacking that with a therapist, you realize half of your stress is coming from rules you didn't even write.

• 35:25Dax Shepard?

  This is where BetterHelp can be a great resource during the holidays. BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences, which means they typically get it right the first time. If you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time from their tailored recs.

• 35:45Speaker 01

  I just love therapy. I've been avoiding it recently, or not avoiding it, but I was like, oh, I'm busy, I'm busy, I'm busy, I haven't canceled, canceled, canceled. But then I-

• 35:53Dax Shepard?

  You start feeling it.

• 35:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, because then I had it this past weekend and I was like, oh, my God, I'm just, thank God, thank God for her. Yeah.

• 36:01Dax Shepard?

  BetterHelp is now in-network with more than 125 health plans with many copays as low as $15 for eligible members. And if you don't have eligible insurance or live outside the US, you can still get 20% off your first month. Sign up and get 20% off at betterhelp.com/dax. That's betterhelp, H E L P, dot com slash DAX.

• 36:25Dax Shepard?

  We get support from Superhuman. Look, I love what I do. The conversations, the ideas, the creative stuff. But there's this whole other layer of work that eats my day alive. The inbox that never ends. Docs I need to get through, threads I'm behind on. And by the time I've dealt with all that, the stuff I actually want to focus on gets whatever's left. What I needed was something that just works where I'm already working. Not another tab to open, not another thing to set up. Superhuman Go from the makers of Grammarly is different. It's already right there inside your email, your docs, your browser. You don't go to it. It's already working alongside you. You're deep in a long thread, highlight it, and it pulls the key points. About to send something important? It flags what doesn't add up before it leaves your hands.

• 37:10Dax Shepard?

  It knows your style, your workflows, and it just backs you up without getting in the way. A thought partner that's already up to speed at your service, not after your job. So do yourself a favor and try Superhuman Go from the makers of Grammarly. Find out more at superhuman.com. We get support from our sponsor, Lilly. For adults with obesity or with excess weight and weight-related medical problems, it's time to find out about Foundo or for Gleepran. Foundo is a once-daily prescription GLP-1 medicine used with a reduced calorie diet and increased physical activity to help adults with obesity or some adults with overweight who also have weight-related medical problems to lose excess body weight and keep the weight off.

• 37:54Speaker 03

  Foundo should not be used with other GLP-1 receptor agonist medicines. It is not known if Foundo is safe and effective for use in children. Don't take Foundo if you're allergic to it or if you or someone in your family had medullary thyroid cancer or multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2. Stop and call your doctor right away if you have an allergic reaction, a lump or swelling in your neck, or severe stomach pain. Serious side effects may include inflamed pancreas and gallbladder problems. Tell your doctor if you experience vision changes. If you're nursing, pregnant, plant to be, or taking birth control pills and before scheduled procedures with anesthesia. Taking Foundo with an insulin or sulfonylurea may cause low blood sugar. Side effects include diarrhea, nausea, and vomiting, which can cause dehydration and may cause kidney problems. Daily Foundo is available by prescription only in 0.8 milligram,

• 38:38Speaker 03

  2.5 milligram, 5.5 milligram, 9 milligram, 14.5 milligram, and 17.2 milligram tablets. Learn more at foundo.lily.com or call 1-800-LILY-RX. Now is perfect to talk to your doctor about Foundo.

• 38:58Speaker 01

  Okay, what's funny, though, when you just did him, I was like, you look like him.

• 39:02Speaker 00

  Thank you. Well, this time I didn't bring the makeup, so.

• 39:05Speaker 01

  Okay, thank God.

• 39:06Speaker 00

  That could get me in trouble.

• 39:07Dax Shepard?

  So I'm learning, as I work on my Obama, you talk out the side of your mouth.

• 39:11Speaker 00

  It comes out like the side of my neck.

• 39:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:12Speaker 00

  I don't know why that is.

• 39:13Speaker 01

  But your face.

• 39:15Speaker 00

  Contorts.

• 39:15Speaker 01

  Becomes him.

• 39:16Speaker 00

  When I was with him, I had my McConnell glasses and I pitched him one last idea. I was like, Barack, it's good to be with you again, it really is. And then he backed away and goes, you gotta put those away. That is giving me PTSD.

• 39:27Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 39:28Speaker 00

  It was insane. And I debated him as Trump.

• 39:30Dax Shepard?

  Okay, now here's an interesting question. I did write it down.

• 39:32Speaker 00

  Go ahead.

• 39:33Dax Shepard?

  Is it dicey to do black famous people?

• 39:36Speaker 00

  If you're doing some racist parody, that's a different situation. If I'm trying to do one person instead of like a whole race of people.

• 39:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:43Speaker 00

  That's a separate conversation. But if I can do a vocally accurate Denzel impression, I can't really do a Denzel. But then that's a separate conversation. Whereas if you're parodying like a stereotypical Indian or black voice, I think that's a different conversation.

• 39:55Dax Shepard?

  That's where you get into hot water.

• 39:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 39:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's right.

• 39:58Dax Shepard?

  That's correct. Can you do God, Morgan Freeman?

• 40:01Speaker 00

  Morgan Freeman, not really, but I can try. John Doe has the upper hand. It's not great.

• 40:09Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so the wish fulfillment you can give us is that we have a list of guests that we still can't get.

• 40:16Speaker 01

  They elude us.

• 40:17Dax Shepard?

  And I was curious if we could talk to some of those people.

• 40:20Speaker 00

  Let's see who you got.

• 40:21Dax Shepard?

  Well, Stern, of course, I would love to have Stern on.

• 40:24Speaker 00

  Well, here's what, here's, here, let me tell you something about this. Right. So they told me, people thought my show was getting canceled and that I was gonna go away.

• 40:32Dax Shepard?

  I thought that. I read that. And I canceled serious.

• 40:34Speaker 00

  I'm interviewing you now.

• 40:35Dax Shepard?

  Oh, even better.

• 40:36Speaker 00

  So Monica, you're a beautiful woman. You've got great skin.

• 40:39Speaker 01

  Thanks.

• 40:39Speaker 00

  I've always had a thing for Indian babes.

• 40:41Speaker 01

  Really?

• 40:43Speaker 00

  Let me ask it us, right.

• 40:44Speaker 01

  Flattering.

• 40:45Speaker 00

  Is there any sexual chemistry? I mean, obviously you have Kristen, she's a great wife.

• 40:48Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:48Speaker 00

  Was there ever a moment where you guys looked at each other, you said, we can. Got a thing going on here, right? Oh. Never crossed your mind. Just sorry, not you. Never crossed your mind once, right? No, no, no. Not even a kiss. No, not yet. But we have a couple more years. By the way, not me. That was a Howard question. That was a Howard question. You gotta tap it in the mind of the person. Thousand percent. When you do the fact check, does it ever drive you crazy? Right? When some of these guests, they say so much shit, you're like, Brad, I don't give a shit. You don't know what you're talking about. Right? Robin, do you wanna bang Dax? You wanna bang him, right? Robin wants to bang you. Sorry, go ahead. Wow.

• 41:21Dax Shepard?

  You've met Howard Stern, right?

• 41:22Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 41:23Dax Shepard?

  And did you chat with him as Howard?

• 41:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's like a recurring bit where the hook word with Howard is the word right. So I go, great to see you, right? Right. Left or right? Right. Right. Robin Wright has some cards. Right. Right. Frank Lloyd Wright. Right. Right. Right versus wrong. Right. Right. Right. What's right? Right. Right. Alt-right. Right. Right. Left or right? Right. Right. Right. Howard Stern is just Alan Alda from MASH, but a little deeper.

• 41:47Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:48Speaker 00

  Alan Alda is up here. He's a little bit like a square than Howard. You pull it back, you got Howard. Right, that's it. Oh my god.

• 41:55Dax Shepard?

  Phenomenal, isn't it?

• 41:56Speaker 00

  It's phenomenal, yeah. It's world class. Did you see Howard interviewing Trump recently? It was just nuts. Oh, they used to be friends, yeah. He was on all the time. Yeah, Howard goes, you're in the prime of your life. Anybody you wouldn't bang? How low are you gonna go? You have an age limit, Donald? Well, I probably wouldn't go down to 14. Oh my god. And then he just stops talking. And I'm thinking, does that mean like 15 is... 15's on the table, yeah. It's strange. Wow. If you just learned what Mesopotamia is, I'm probably fine with it, okay?

• 42:28Dax Shepard?

  I think he also had some really long descriptions of how beautiful his daughter was. When he would be on Stern. I think a lot of those clips from Trump.

• 42:35Speaker 00

  What's the next guest?

• 42:36Dax Shepard?

  Okay, keep it moving.

• 42:40Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so someone I've written like three love letters to begging him to do the show is my all-time acting hero, Nicolas Cage.

• 42:49Dax Shepard?

  I wanted to come on Armchair to be with you! Monica!

• 42:54Speaker 00

  Excites me to a level I've never experienced before. Dax Shepard. Dax Shepard, armchair, what a platform. Stop staring at me. You sexy dill. So I did Nick Cage also on the carpet of the Golden Globes. And then people like, who is this young woman that he's with? It was his, it was his ad Asian wife, okay? His ad Asian wife? He's with this 19 year old Asian woman who is his girlfriend.

• 43:24Dax Shepard?

  So let me, so you stay in Nick Cage.

• 43:27Speaker 00

  I didn't say it. Trump said it.

• 43:28Speaker 01

  You guys are, you just, you, yeah, you're tricky. You're saying horrible.

• 43:32Speaker 00

  No, it's not, it's Trump.

• 43:34Speaker 01

  This is the thing. It's unfair. We all should be able to have.

• 43:38Dax Shepard?

  You should develop and alter ego. Nick Kroll has several on his show. Yeah, it's great.

• 43:44Speaker 01

  But it's unfair to us who can't manipulate our voices.

• 43:46Dax Shepard?

  So stay in Nick Cage, because I just have some questions for him.

• 43:48Speaker 00

  Why do you want to ask me? It's not great, but could be better.

• 43:51Dax Shepard?

  You famously bought a bunch of castles, yeah?

• 43:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, I love a castle. I put the ass in castle.

• 43:58Speaker 01

  What about your snakes? Are they still with us?

• 44:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, I have a big snake right here. Sign the Declaration of Independence with this snake. Anaconda. Snake, armchair, expert. Yeah. Not great.

• 44:15Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 44:16Speaker 00

  No, it's nice. I like it, I like it. Not great.

• 44:18Dax Shepard?

  Okay, now I want to be really thoughtful and careful.

• 44:20Speaker 00

  Oh, I know where this one's going.

• 44:22Dax Shepard?

  Do you guess?

• 44:22Speaker 00

  Is it Bill?

• 44:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. He produced, or does produce.

• 44:25Speaker 00

  I did a podcast, we've kind of stopped it. Go ahead.

• 44:28Speaker 01

  Bill who, Mark?

• 44:29Speaker 00

  Bill Mark. Yeah, I was doing a show and doing a different thing now, but he's a nice guy.

• 44:34Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, so I would like to ask Bill some questions.

• 44:36Speaker 00

  Okay, go. Let me just say, you know what the problem is with Armchair Expert? Nothing.

• 44:41Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 44:42Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 44:42Speaker 00

  It's great. Thanks, Bill. Whether you're on the left, whether you're on the right, we're all wrong. And it's great. Go ahead, what's the question?

• 44:49Speaker 01

  That was nice, thank you.

• 44:50Dax Shepard?

  You seem to get pretty angry at the audience when your joke doesn't go exactly as planned. I guess my main question is, why so angry at them?

• 45:02Speaker 00

  Okay, new rule, right? If you're gonna have a guest on your own show, maybe don't be a dick, okay? This is what really pisses me off.

• 45:11Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 45:12Speaker 00

  Oh, this really pisses me off.

• 45:14Speaker 01

  Let's hear it.

• 45:15Speaker 00

  About the left. The left isn't the right, and the right isn't the left. And that's what drives me crazy, right?

• 45:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's hard.

• 45:23Speaker 00

  Not with Donald. I had dinner with him. They were so mad at me. Larry David op-ed, dinner with Hitler. You know what? Not true. And I would have died with Hitler if there was an option. He would have liked me. We would have had fun. You know why? Because I'm a Jew who can make him laugh. Okay? It's all in the lip smack with Bill now. He goes, "Oh, thank you." Thank you.

• 45:46Dax Shepard?

  Oh my god.

• 45:47Speaker 00

  Great.

• 45:48Speaker 01

  I've never noticed a lip smack until you just did it. I'm like, he does do that.

• 45:52Speaker 00

  Oh, great. New rule, wrong. So right. Oh my god. Armchair expert.

• 46:00Dax Shepard?

  He did produce a show with you, but he didn't like your impersonation?

• 46:03Speaker 00

  No, I think he did. He goes like, "You make me too flamboyant," right? "I think hetero me up, okay?"

• 46:09Dax Shepard?

  Butch me up.

• 46:10Speaker 00

  Right?

• 46:11Dax Shepard?

  Some guys are like that with it.

• 46:13Speaker 00

  But he was a great sport about it. I think he liked it.

• 46:15Dax Shepard?

  I've only heard a couple people do me.

• 46:17Speaker 00

  Do me, yeah.

• 46:18Dax Shepard?

  Me, me.

• 46:19Speaker 01

  Okay, you're very talented.

• 46:22Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 46:22Speaker 01

  I think you could fine tune this.

• 46:24Speaker 00

  No, there's no question I can.

• 46:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, like, it's not exactly right.

• 46:29Speaker 00

  No, no, it's not.

• 46:30Speaker 01

  It's not exactly right.

• 46:31Dax Shepard?

  But I'm gonna tell you. But we have a fun. John Krasinski does a version of me, and he did it in front of a group of people, and they laughed uncontrollably. And I was not offended. I just like, I don't.

• 46:40Speaker 01

  You don't hear it.

• 46:41Dax Shepard?

  You know who's eluded me?

• 46:42Speaker 00

  Who? It's John Krasinski's brother-in-law.

• 46:46Dax Shepard?

  Oh, Emily Blunt's brother?

• 46:49Speaker 00

  Felicity's husband.

• 46:50Speaker 01

  Oh, Stanley Tucci.

• 46:53Dax Shepard?

  He's another guy who didn't love.

• 46:54Speaker 00

  Did he not love? Well, he hasn't really commented on the impression. Stan hasn't really commented on the impression, but I bet the Golden Globes, I've done it three years in a row, red carpet, I interview, it's a crazy atmosphere.

• 47:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:05Speaker 00

  All the celebrities, they're coming, I'm not a red carpet host interviewer, I'm a comedian they place on the carpet. Unbelievable experience, my friend Jeremy, works at Dick Clark, put me on the carpet, took a chance on me, and now here we are. The exposure's unbelievable, I talked to Nick Cage. Do you Paul Giamatti, that was the one that popped. Oh, that was very funny, dude. Oh, yes, very fun. Giamatti had just won the Golden Globe. So I get him 30 seconds after he wins the award. And I go, Paul, I'm doing you next to Paul. He goes, oh, that's very good. Oh, the fucking Giamatti. Oh, I am signing the Declaration of Motherfucking Independence in the morning. So, Ben, very good, very good. Oh, yes, indeed. Oh, God, fun. So, and he was batching me perfectly.

• 47:50Speaker 00

  And then I did Tom Wamsgams next to Kieran Culkin. I go, hey, buddy, buckle up, fucklehead. And then he slapped me in the face. And then I did Coolidge. I wonder, because I've watched so many of these clips, are the people warned ahead of time? What I'm seeing sometimes is it takes them a few beats to realize you're doing them. Yeah, occasionally. You don't watch Formula One by chance? I'm starting to. Okay, there's this most incredible clip, Mr. Bean, Rowan Atkinson, has perfected this commentator in Formula One, Martin Brundle. And they're on the grid, and Martin Brundle's interviewing, and Mr. Bean is doing him the most flawless impersonation I've ever seen. And the entire interview goes on, and it never occurs to him.

• 48:32Speaker 01

  Oh, boy.

• 48:32Speaker 00

  That hasn't happened to me. And then Goldblum really loves it too, right? Yeah, he's the greatest. I voiced him on like a bunch of shows, he's the coolest guy. But Tucci, I'm like, Stanley, and he just kind of, very funny, and he just like walked by. I'm dying to do a video with him. I get why people can be a little uptight. But my goal, I want to make them relax and comfortable, have a very funny moment. Yeah. I do Tucci when he's cooking.

• 48:54Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 48:54Speaker 00

  So he does these hugely viral videos in his kitchen. He asks if we're rolling, and he makes some comment that feels a little sexual to his wife Felicity. So he'll be in the kitchen, and he'll go, are we rolling? Are we filming? Today, I'm going to prepare a chicken cacciatore. I'm going to finger this spaghetti sauce and lick it so hard and delicately. I'm placing this olive oil from Bologna, a specific region in Italy. I'm Italian on both sides. Thank you for tuning in.

• 49:25Dax Shepard?

  I know what it triggers in everyone, which is the last time someone did an impersonation of you was in elementary school and they were making fun of you. So you have to really be confident to enjoy.

• 49:35Speaker 00

  It's different from acting, but there's an element of it. If you're an actor, I think you should be able to handle it.

• 49:39Dax Shepard?

  Well, here's what I think. The hidden compliment in it is you're unique enough to replicate. Me doing you would be obvious to everyone. And what I think is the compliment is like, wow, you're a really unique human on planet Earth.

• 49:51Speaker 00

  Yes, absolutely.

• 49:52Speaker 01

  It's kind of embarrassing to be seen like that.

• 49:56Speaker 00

  Interesting.

• 49:56Speaker 01

  Really seen. You are picking up on the sexual.

• 50:00Speaker 00

  But he's putting the videos out there on Instagram in his sexy apron and his sexy beard.

• 50:06Dax Shepard?

  Fucking sexy. We interviewed him and had dinner with him.

• 50:08Speaker 00

  Oh, did you? Was that fun, Dax?

• 50:10Dax Shepard?

  Yes, it was really fun. He's an incredible host, as you might guess.

• 50:14Speaker 00

  I would totally assume. Absolutely.

• 50:17Speaker 01

  Like, you're, it's more than just repeating words. You're picking up on their essence and their personality and things that maybe they don't even want to know about themselves.

• 50:26Speaker 00

  That is interesting, because I was at the premiere of his new show, Not Geo Show. You're welcome for the promo. And he said, I don't like to watch it, because unlike acting, I'm being myself in this. It's a nightmare. But Goldblum is so playful with it. He just totally leans in.

• 50:41Dax Shepard?

  He knows what he does.

• 50:42Speaker 01

  But he's been impersonated for so long, too.

• 50:44Speaker 00

  But Tucci's amazing. What a guy.

• 50:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, we love him.

• 50:46Dax Shepard?

  Oh, we love him. We love him. Okay, I wanted to talk to Sylvester Stallone. He's not, well, yeah, I want to talk to Sylvester Stallone.

• 50:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, great to be on.

• 50:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, great to be on Armchair Expert, you know, really, really great. Just finished my meeting with President Trump. You know, I'm on the Hollywood New Commission to bring back Hollywood and make it a better connection between Hollywood and DC, you know, really, really great. A really, really great Monica and Dax, you know, really, really.

• 51:19Speaker 00

  You can do the voices very well, but also you're.

• 51:21Dax Shepard?

  Obviously, hyper intelligent. Because you have the speech from Obama memorized.

• 51:26Speaker 00

  You gotta get the word, because there were people that did impressions in like the 50s, 60s, even now, but for me, like, I'm a comedian. In the comedy context, the words matter, the writing matters. You have to have a really solid bit. I mean, it's one thing to go up there and say, "Hello, I'm Stewie Griffin, great to be with all of you." I started out on stage doing that. My first show was at Second City in a classroom in Chicago. And I did impressions and voices, but that was cute for like a couple of minutes. But now, like, I'm a headlining, touring comedian, and it's not just impressions in the hours. I have to have real substance behind the words I'm saying. And in the context of an impression, I certainly want to be inside the mind of the person. I love, like, old show business, and like, a lot of it is just devouring the news and what's happening in the world.

• 52:08Dax Shepard?

  But you have an incredible memory. Your ability to hold on to all these little specificities that are information-based more than sound-based.

• 52:16Speaker 00

  I know the entire "You Got Trouble" song from the Music Man. Should I do it?

• 52:19Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 52:19Speaker 00

  I don't think you want me to.

• 52:20Speaker 01

  No, I want to do it.

• 52:21Speaker 00

  I don't think you guys can. I think this might be a little too much of a segue.

• 52:24Speaker 01

  I can take it.

• 52:25Speaker 00

  It's about five minutes, but...

• 52:27Dax Shepard?

  Is there a 90-second version?

• 52:29Speaker 00

  Are you Mr. Dunlop? Say yes.

• 52:30Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 52:31Speaker 00

  Well, either you're closing your eyes to a situation you do not wish to acknowledge, or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated by the presence of a pool table in your community. "Well, you got trouble, my friend. Right here, I say trouble, right here in River City. Why, sure, my bitter players, certainly mighty proud to say, I'm always mighty proud to say it. I consider that the hours I spent with a cue in my hand are gold. It helps cultivate horse sense and a cool head and a keen eye. Did you ever take a try to give an ironclad leave to yourself in a three-word bittered shop? Just as I say, takes judgment, brains, and maturity to score in a ball line game. I said any boop can take and shove a ball in an eighth pocket, and they call that slot. The first big step on the road to the depths of dagger, is a first. But it's a no wine from a teaspoon, then beer from a bottle. The next thing you know, your son is playing for money in a pitchback suit. And listen, I'm talking about some horse race, listen, I'm talking about some horse race, not a wholesome trotting race, no, but a race where they sit down right on the horse. Let's see some stuck-up jockey boy sitting on dead patch, making blood boil. Well, I should say now, friends, let me tell you what I mean.

• 53:16Speaker 00

  You got one, two, three, four, five, six pockets at a table. Pockets, I gotta stop. But anyways.

• 53:21Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 53:21Speaker 00

  I didn't get that part. It was in eighth grade. I'm out of my mind.

• 53:25Speaker 01

  It's a very specific type of brain, because I'm seeing a lot of parallels. The mimicry, the singing.

• 53:32Speaker 00

  Oh, thanks.

• 53:32Dax Shepard?

  That type of recall. Kristen has it too. Yeah, yeah, this is all very Kristen. She has a horrible, horrible, horrible memory. Really? For life. She'll know how vacations we've been on. But she can recite things like that. She does a nail thing. Press on nails. She does the commercial from when she was eight. She's got a great voice. Hyperspeed. So my current crush, I had the pleasure of telling him at the SAG Awards that I'm so horny for him is Timothy Shalman. Yep. Well, uh, who, uh, it's such an honor to be here, uh, with Monica, with, with Dax, two pioneers in the, in the field of podcasting with the changing media landscape such as it is with, uh, you know, with talk shows and, uh, you know, the evolution of our, of our modern media today. I think you guys are really at the forefront of something special

• 54:15Dax Shepard?

  and, uh, you're so great. No, but, uh, I was just saying, like, I'm just, as an artist, I wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm super grateful to be here for the platform with Denis Villeneuve and, uh, you know, all these different, Marty Scorsese and all this. Uh, yeah, so that was, uh... It's incredible. I'm gonna have you do one last one. We already had him. He's a friend of mine, but man, is it a spectacular impersonation. And that's the great Sebastian Maniscalco.

• 54:40Speaker 00

  So I did this podcast with Monica Padman. Saw this chick, dude, Dax Shepard manspreading for 90 minutes, got his cock staring at my face, trying to ask me questions, dude, popping whey protein every 15 seconds. What? Do me a favor. Why don't you separate the podcast from the gym? Okay? This guy is asking questions, slurping down a protein shake. This isn't the time, okay, boy? Not the time. I'm an Italian. I eat pasta, not fucking zine, whatever the hell that shit is.

• 55:25Dax Shepard?

  Okay, now I want to talk to you about some serious stuff.

• 55:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, please, I'm ready.

• 55:28Dax Shepard?

  You've already alluded to it.

• 55:29Speaker 00

  This is why I'm here, I wanted to get into this. Let's make some headlines.

• 55:31Dax Shepard?

  And Hank, I was saying it earlier, but I didn't finish, but Hank talked about his mimicry was very much a way to hide from himself. Like, he wasn't terribly confident being himself, but this was this great way to be everything but himself. And he was saying, as he started learning to act, that his big hurdle was figuring out how to have some confidence in himself. And also, there's the famous Jim Carrey, right? The lore of Jim Carrey is he had this incredibly successful stand-up routine where he did tons of impersonations. And at one point, he decided, I'm no longer doing impersonations, I have to do my own thing. So is this something that you are also wrestling with?

• 56:06Speaker 00

  So I never got into comedy or impressions as a form of escape. Or even as I'm starting to act now, I do love to get into the mindset of another person to like, not be myself, I guess. But it wasn't because I was trying to run away. I'm lucky I had a great family growing up, great support system. I know, that's funny material. But for me now, stand-up is about embracing who you are. And I've done the impressions and I've gotten so known for it. And now I'm at a place in my career where I'll always want to be doing them. It's just fun, and I think it brings out another side of people too, in the context that I'm choosing to do them, like red carpet interviews or whatever it is. And also, I think most people enjoy impressions.

• 56:46Dax Shepard?

  Everyone loves them.

• 56:47Speaker 00

  I am thinking about, and I'm glad I'm talking about this as an armchair expert, I do grapple with the question of like, am I enough without it? I think I am, and my stand-up, like, I feel really good about how it's all building. And the stand-up, in terms of an impression context, is me telling stories of meeting celebrities and then I re-act that.

• 57:05Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 57:05Speaker 00

  But then the rest of it is me dating in my twenties, crowd work and political observations and other stories unrelated to it. But there is a question of like, will the audience, because, you know, there's an algorithm, they've gotten to know me in one context. But I feel like I'm 27, I'm at a place where I've gotten started. I want to show people more. It's funny, thankfully, I do more than the Trump. Like, there was a guy, Von Meter, in the 50s, who did a JFK impression. JFK was shot in the head and died, spoiler alert. Lenny Bruce goes on Stage, three days after that and says Von Meters fucked.

• 57:37Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 57:38Speaker 00

  But this guy looked exactly like JFK, was his whole shtick. He did an album as JFK. Obviously, that's a unique situation and I actually kind of want to do a movie about that. That would be amazing.

• 57:47Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 57:48Speaker 00

  I'm thinking about, I want my stand up myself to resonate more with people.

• 57:52Dax Shepard?

  You just said that you've recently started therapy. So people don't generally seek out therapy because everything's going perfectly. What was it to help manage?

• 58:02Speaker 00

  It's such a weird business. There's no path.

• 58:05Dax Shepard?

  Terrifying.

• 58:06Speaker 00

  Now that I look at it, it is happening quickly. Like I said, I'm 27. There was no space between finishing school and like needing to get a job. Because I graduated in COVID, found a way to support myself through social media and then stand up. So like from 22 years old, I was able to figure it out, which doesn't really happen. I shouldn't be taking out frustrations in my career, in my life, on the ones that I love the most.

• 58:31Dax Shepard?

  Right, right, right.

• 58:32Speaker 00

  We have a family group chat. If something is pissing me off or annoying me, I'll like text my family.

• 58:37Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 58:37Speaker 00

  20 irrational texts. This fucking sucks. I'm so pissed. Like crazy behavior, just venting into the chat. The ones that have been telling me to see a therapist is my family.

• 58:46Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 58:47Speaker 00

  So because I'm taking a lot of the frustration and stress.

• 58:50Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, we have a lot of anxiety.

• 58:52Speaker 00

  There's anxiety, there's constant comparison, spending too much time on my phone. Because a lot of the career is built. I look at this clip. I want to see how things are performing. I'm tapped into the news. I'm never going to be one of those actor people that can be away from their phone.

• 59:06Speaker 01

  It's part of your business.

• 59:07Speaker 00

  I don't think that is feasible anymore to not be in touch with your fans.

• 59:11Dax Shepard?

  I agree.

• 59:12Speaker 00

  DiCaprio, Chalamet is even going on podcasts.

• 59:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think there's like a last guard that will enjoy all of that, be able to do it that way. But yeah, I think when Leonardo's done, he'll been the last one probably.

• 59:24Speaker 00

  Yes, but I want to like improve my mindset, my mentality. Also like comments.

• 59:29Speaker 01

  You look at them.

• 59:30Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, they're irresistible.

• 59:32Speaker 00

  They are irresistible, but also like I'm on stage. It's like a weird thing. Because sometimes people are paying to see me to do an impression, whatever. And now I want them to see my stand up. So now I'm at this point in my career where I'm doing impressions and stuff, but I'm pivoting to, there's a lot. More than I'm offering as myself.

• 59:46Speaker 01

  Just scary.

• 59:47Speaker 00

  And I want them to see that. That's what Jim Carrey did, which I'm very inspired by. I'm glad you brought that up, and that's what I want to do. No, but I'm thinking about that in my say, like, am I enough? I want the audiences to see me for me. And also, I want these clips to do well, because things do well in the context of an impression. I want them to see my stand-up doing well, or a conversation like this doing well.

• 1:00:05Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:06Speaker 01

  Do you want them to see your vulnerability? Or do you want them?

• 1:00:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, I do.

• 1:00:09Speaker 01

  You do?

• 1:00:10Speaker 00

  I do. But also, I didn't have an upbringing where I was traumatized. My mother and father, they're different. My dad is stoic, my mother. The energy level, it's like she just snorted Coke in the morning. She's very energetic, but she's hilarious.

• 1:00:20Dax Shepard?

  You're the youngest of three?

• 1:00:21Speaker 00

  I'm the baby, yeah. Like, she's so funny.

• 1:00:23Dax Shepard?

  Two older, a boy or girls?

• 1:00:24Speaker 00

  Brother and sister.

• 1:00:25Dax Shepard?

  Brother and sister, are they really tall as well?

• 1:00:27Speaker 00

  Not really, like, kind of, like, 6'1", I guess.

• 1:00:30Dax Shepard?

  And what do they do?

• 1:00:31Speaker 00

  My sister is a writer. She's working on her first novel, Nina. She's an amazing writer.

• 1:00:36Dax Shepard?

  Great.

• 1:00:36Speaker 00

  And my brother works at a company, Thrive, with Arianna Huffington.

• 1:00:40Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:00:41Speaker 00

  He's the CFO or COO of it.

• 1:00:42Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so he's thriving.

• 1:00:44Speaker 00

  He's thriving. My mom has a cookie company called Big Fat Cookie.

• 1:00:47Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 1:00:47Dax Shepard?

  Oh, she does?

• 1:00:48Speaker 00

  I should have brought them, and I regret doing that. The best cookies ever, and I need to plug them. Huge cookies.

• 1:00:53Dax Shepard?

  Like a can of Campbell's soup?

• 1:00:55Speaker 00

  It's like four, like, can we pull them up?

• 1:00:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, let's pull them up.

• 1:00:58Speaker 00

  They're so good. They are huge. Let's pull them up.

• 1:01:01Speaker 01

  Chocolate chip?

• 1:01:02Speaker 00

  Chocolate chip, there's like pretzel ones. It's insane. They are amazing. That's it.

• 1:01:06Speaker 01

  Oh, yum.

• 1:01:07Speaker 00

  I gotta send these. They're insane.

• 1:01:09Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my god.

• 1:01:10Speaker 01

  Do they look gooey? I want those.

• 1:01:12Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I see fruity pebbles.

• 1:01:14Speaker 00

  Based in Chicago.

• 1:01:15Dax Shepard?

  Are there any gluten-free offerings?

• 1:01:17Speaker 00

  Are you gluten-free?

• 1:01:17Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:18Speaker 00

  I had a deathly allergic gluten allergy as a kid.

• 1:01:20Dax Shepard?

  You did?

• 1:01:21Speaker 01

  And you grew out of it?

• 1:01:22Dax Shepard?

  Then your mom went into the cookie business.

• 1:01:24Speaker 01

  That's your trauma!

• 1:01:26Speaker 00

  We gotta talk about this.

• 1:01:27Dax Shepard?

  Mom tried to kill you.

• 1:01:28Speaker 00

  Are you gluten-free?

• 1:01:29Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:01:29Speaker 00

  We gotta talk about it, but I don't know, I think they're gluten-free ones, but we'll send you something.

• 1:01:32Dax Shepard?

  Okay, okay.

• 1:01:33Speaker 00

  I had a deathly allergic gluten allergy as a kid, and I was one of the first people in the world to be effectively cured of food allergies.

• 1:01:41Dax Shepard?

  How?

• 1:01:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, you didn't find that on Google, did you?

• 1:01:44Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 1:01:45Speaker 00

  I was in a study at Stanford, my freshman year of high school. I flew out to Stanford every two weeks from Chicago for six months.

• 1:01:51Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 1:01:51Speaker 00

  In a process called oral immunotherapy, you increase your tolerance level to whatever you're allergic to by eating a tiny amount of your allergen every couple of weeks. And then I started to eat it in a powdery form, like gluten, straight gluten, in like a milkshake type form. But I did this at the same time as taking this drug, no, Zolair. Called Zolair. It was like an FDA approved asthma medication that this brilliant doctor, Kari Nadeau, who's now at Harvard, figured out it can like alter your immune system to detect when an allergen enters. And I did this study and basically like one crumb could have literally killed me.

• 1:02:27Dax Shepard?

  Yes. And now you can eat pasta and shit?

• 1:02:29Speaker 00

  Yeah. That was a challenge in my upbringing. Like, literally felt very different as a kid as a result of that.

• 1:02:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:35Speaker 00

  Like, my mother would bring a separate, like, little cupcake to a friend's birthday.

• 1:02:39Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:02:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:40Speaker 00

  Before my first kiss, this girl had to like, avoid gluten for 24 hours.

• 1:02:44Dax Shepard?

  Oh yeah, we have a friend.

• 1:02:45Speaker 01

  Jason Manzoukas.

• 1:02:46Dax Shepard?

  Has an egg allergy.

• 1:02:48Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:02:49Dax Shepard?

  Unbelievable.

• 1:02:49Speaker 01

  And he kissed someone and went to like anaphylactic. It was like an egg in the martini.

• 1:02:53Speaker 00

  So yeah, I was like deathly allergic. Literally, every time we go to a restaurant, we would have to like interrogate the chef.

• 1:02:58Dax Shepard?

  Yes. You're the person that's fucking everything up.

• 1:03:00Speaker 00

  Cause I was the person that's fucking everything up.

• 1:03:02Dax Shepard?

  Because I go, do you have gluten free pasta? And they immediately go, is it an allergy or is it a preference? I'm like, it's a preference. Don't panic. There's gluten back there. But for you.

• 1:03:10Speaker 00

  In the allergy community, there's like a hierarchy.

• 1:03:12Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:03:13Speaker 00

  There's like the peanut supremacists is what I call them.

• 1:03:15Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:03:15Speaker 00

  It's the mothers of kids with peanut allergies.

• 1:03:17Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:03:18Speaker 00

  Cause they think their kid's allergy is more important.

• 1:03:20Speaker 01

  Yes, they do.

• 1:03:21Speaker 00

  Like, there's always a sign in a classroom. There's no nuts in the classroom. There's never, there's no focaccia in the classroom.

• 1:03:26Dax Shepard?

  Right. Okay. So here's something that I'm so curious about for someone your age. So if I were you, and when I was you, all I wanted to do is be on Saturday Night Live. And I'm thinking like in some crazy way, and I can't even believe I'm gonna say this, it's kinda obsolete for young people a little bit?

• 1:03:44Speaker 01

  I don't think so. Lincoln loves it.

• 1:03:46Dax Shepard?

  No, I don't mean as viewers.

• 1:03:47Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:03:48Dax Shepard?

  I mean, if you're aspiring, if I'm him, like, I was waiting for them to call and give me an audition. As opposed to, I can just make the shit I wanna be doing on Saturday Night Live and I can put it out. So why on earth would I be waiting my whole life? And then, by the time you kinda hit and they would want you, financially, you're probably gonna be taking a pay cut to go do something. So anyways, where's Saturday Night Live in the mix for you?

• 1:04:10Speaker 00

  My handle used to be Madder Day Night Live. That was the name of it.

• 1:04:13Dax Shepard?

  And you grew up like a couple blocks from Second City.

• 1:04:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, I mean, I grew up obsessed with the show. So much has happened in the past year and a half.

• 1:04:20Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:20Speaker 00

  Where like, you used to have to be on SNL to do the things that I'm doing now. Like even to get on a show like this.

• 1:04:25Dax Shepard?

  Exactly.

• 1:04:26Speaker 00

  Or like, White House Correspondents Dinner, I hosted the NHL Awards.

• 1:04:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:30Speaker 00

  Like, all these opportunities. There was no other path beyond that and now, a product of my generation. My political stuff will get more views than their political stuff. Not that it's a competition necessarily. I met Lorne at the Correspondents Dinner. And he was like, have you showcased for us before?

• 1:04:47Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:47Speaker 00

  Uh, yeah, right, yeah. And we had a brief chat. I don't know if you remember that, but, I don't know. It's a weird thing because I want to be in movies now, like hosting, but obviously it would be cool to do it. My mentality is, I can't be chasing things that I don't know what the result might be. I have to be so focused on what I can control.

• 1:05:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:04Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:05:04Speaker 00

  And also, it's a different world.

• 1:05:06Dax Shepard?

  It is. That's what I'm so curious about. Like, if I were 27, would I even have the same?

• 1:05:11Speaker 01

  Is it still the Holy Grail, I guess, is like a good question?

• 1:05:14Speaker 00

  I do not think so.

• 1:05:14Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's interesting.

• 1:05:16Speaker 00

  I think this is the Holy Grail.

• 1:05:17Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:05:18Speaker 00

  I really do. I think these podcasts, like, look at with late night. It's a different world now. There's always going to be politics, there will always be celebrities, there'll always be, I need to promote things. The medium is the message, Marshall McLuhan, have you read that book?

• 1:05:29Dax Shepard?

  I haven't read it, I'm aware of it.

• 1:05:31Speaker 00

  It's like, the medium will evolve. We don't necessarily reinvent the wheel. I think there will always be an interest in political, topical humor. What I've now learned in this business is like, I can put these big goals and dreams out there, but I just gotta keep climbing and building.

• 1:05:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, doing your thing. Like, when we started this, or when I moved here to be an actor, there weren't podcasts.

• 1:05:51Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:05:51Speaker 01

  So the idea of coming out for this wasn't a thing yet, so maybe there'll be a new thing.

• 1:05:57Speaker 00

  Well, that's the thing, like you asked about SNL, I'm just this weird product of timing and like a generational thing. It's all these tools and discoverability. You could argue this has as much impact, if not more, than going on Weekend Update. It'd be interesting if I had come up in entertainment when you came up.

• 1:06:12Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:06:13Speaker 01

  Do you wish you had?

• 1:06:14Speaker 00

  I think it would have been cool, but I don't know that I would have been at the place I'm in now at this stage.

• 1:06:19Dax Shepard?

  I wasn't. At 27, I still haven't booked a fucking thing. And I'm just like panicking.

• 1:06:23Speaker 00

  Well, acting is such a tough nut to crack, but my thinking has always been like, acting will come through my comedy.

• 1:06:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:29Dax Shepard?

  Right, right, right, right.

• 1:06:30Speaker 00

  And now it's starting to. I did a movie last week with Seth Green.

• 1:06:32Dax Shepard?

  With Seth Green.

• 1:06:33Speaker 00

  And Ashley Green.

• 1:06:34Speaker 01

  We love Seth.

• 1:06:35Dax Shepard?

  Directed by David.

• 1:06:36Speaker 00

  Peter Fanchinelli.

• 1:06:37Dax Shepard?

  David Gordon Green.

• 1:06:38Speaker 00

  I played Justin. Young man who is the sous chef to Seth Green's chef, who meets Willa, played by Ashley Green.

• 1:06:47Dax Shepard?

  Seth Green is a chef in it.

• 1:06:48Speaker 00

  Yes, and Ashley Green is a woman who freezes her eggs and meets Seth. I'm starting to fall in love, and I'm the young guy who has a lot of sex and cooks.

• 1:06:55Dax Shepard?

  Oh, fun. I want that role.

• 1:06:57Speaker 00

  It was an amazing experience. It was crazy.

• 1:06:58Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I want that role.

• 1:06:59Speaker 01

  Did it film here?

• 1:07:00Speaker 00

  In Canada. It was unbelievable. It was so crazy.

• 1:07:03Dax Shepard?

  And then your two are telling me about your two are working people get tickets. How many shows are you doing?

• 1:07:06Speaker 00

  I'm touring right now, building up my hour to be a special. Doing the Wilbur Theater will be my biggest headlining show in Boston. I think on September 27th, I have Fort Worth, Texas. All tickets at mattfriend.com.

• 1:07:19Dax Shepard?

  mattfriend.com.

• 1:07:20Speaker 00

  And the mattfriend is my Instagram.

• 1:07:21Dax Shepard?

  I'm so glad I got.

• 1:07:22Speaker 00

  Are we done?

• 1:07:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:23Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:07:24Speaker 01

  What else do you want to talk about? What would you want to, yeah, we've been here a while.

• 1:07:27Dax Shepard?

  I wanted to do that armchair, you know, you open up.

• 1:07:30Speaker 00

  You want to cry a little bit?

• 1:07:31Dax Shepard?

  I want to get vulnerable.

• 1:07:33Speaker 01

  What's making you cry these days?

• 1:07:34Speaker 00

  What's making you cry? We're just starting making fun of you in hopes of.

• 1:07:37Speaker 01

  What's making you cry these, what's the last time you cried?

• 1:07:39Dax Shepard?

  I don't think you cry. I think you get angry.

• 1:07:42Speaker 00

  You think I get angry? You don't think I cry?

• 1:07:43Dax Shepard?

  I do.

• 1:07:44Speaker 00

  What is it about me?

• 1:07:44Dax Shepard?

  I think what's easy for you to express is like anger.

• 1:07:47Speaker 00

  Really?

• 1:07:47Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:48Speaker 00

  Is that really what you think of me?

• 1:07:49Dax Shepard?

  I do.

• 1:07:50Speaker 01

  Well, maybe because you said you yelled at your parents.

• 1:07:52Speaker 00

  Well, no, did I say that?

• 1:07:54Speaker 01

  Well, no, sorry. You got out your aggression through anger with your family.

• 1:07:58Dax Shepard?

  Like what you were feeling was anxiety about the future and expresses itself.

• 1:08:03Speaker 00

  When I have anxiety, I'd be like texting the ones that I love the most about that anxiety. I'm like, why am I doing that?

• 1:08:09Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:08:09Speaker 01

  Well, so of course that's who you're gonna go to.

• 1:08:11Speaker 00

  I guess, but also it's like, why bother them?

• 1:08:13Dax Shepard?

  Well, if that's not your.

• 1:08:15Speaker 01

  They're the only ones that have to care.

• 1:08:15Speaker 00

  True.

• 1:08:15Dax Shepard?

  First stop emotion, what is?

• 1:08:17Speaker 00

  It depends on what's happening, but there can be anger and then sadness and then frustration.

• 1:08:21Speaker 01

  So when's the last time you cried?

• 1:08:22Speaker 00

  The last time I cried.

• 1:08:24Dax Shepard?

  99?

• 1:08:25Speaker 00

  When's the last time I cried?

• 1:08:26Dax Shepard?

  Your first birthday party?

• 1:08:27Speaker 00

  Do you remember the last time you cried?

• 1:08:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, I cried, when did we? Yeah, see, you can think while I answer. I cried on Saturday.

• 1:08:38Speaker 00

  I liked your answer. You didn't say why. I cried out two weeks ago.

• 1:08:41Speaker 01

  I had therapy.

• 1:08:42Dax Shepard?

  You cried two weeks ago?

• 1:08:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, two weeks ago, yeah.

• 1:08:44Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:08:45Dax Shepard?

  I accept that I don't know why she cried, but I'm very curious.

• 1:08:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, we need to know why.

• 1:08:49Dax Shepard?

  Were you watching something? I don't think I remember.

• 1:08:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think I was like watching a YouTube video or something.

• 1:08:53Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, those make me cry, but only if they're really uplifting. I think, oh, it's so hard to be a human and when people express.

• 1:08:59Speaker 00

  Do you ever like have like a fear that you're not? Well, the ones that you love are alive. You want them to know how much you love. Mom and dad, my brother and my sister, I love them the most.

• 1:09:07Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:08Speaker 01

  Does it stress you out that they might not know it?

• 1:09:11Speaker 00

  They definitely know it. I'm so focused on what I'm doing now, I want them to know it. I don't know if I really just answered that question.

• 1:09:16Dax Shepard?

  You're afraid a little bit that they might feel you're way too focused on this.

• 1:09:20Speaker 00

  No, definitely not. Like, we're all very close, but I think I need to do a better job of telling them how much I appreciate them.

• 1:09:27Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:09:28Speaker 00

  Consistently.

• 1:09:28Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:09:29Speaker 01

  It's hard to do. It's vulnerable to do that. I don't really do it.

• 1:09:33Dax Shepard?

  You don't do it?

• 1:09:34Speaker 00

  You don't?

• 1:09:35Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:09:35Dax Shepard?

  She's Indian, though, they have a different thing. Like, they literally do. Like, I was saying to her, no, your dad wants to come see the thing. He wants to tell you he's proud of you. He wants to give you a hug and all this stuff. And she's like, my dad loves me as much as your dad loved you, but that's not how he gets down. And I have now seen it in action. I'm like, yeah, that's not how they get down.

• 1:09:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, I have no question about the amount of love.

• 1:09:55Dax Shepard?

  He would jump in front of a million trains for you.

• 1:09:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:57Dax Shepard?

  But he's not gonna do the thing.

• 1:09:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:09:59Speaker 01

  He's not gonna do this. Yes, this very American way of showing love. And that's okay.

• 1:10:04Dax Shepard?

  And then so she's not then making them feel awkward.

• 1:10:08Speaker 01

  That's how it started. You were like, you need to tell him that you.

• 1:10:11Dax Shepard?

  How important he is to you.

• 1:10:12Speaker 01

  How important he is.

• 1:10:13Dax Shepard?

  What a good daddy was.

• 1:10:13Speaker 01

  He doesn't want to hear that. I know you can't understand that.

• 1:10:18Dax Shepard?

  I can't.

• 1:10:18Speaker 01

  But that's just gonna make him feel like I'm anxious or dying or stressed out. Like, it's gonna have this weird boomerang effect and I have to make him feel better about the fact that he feels scared. Like, none of us need any of this.

• 1:10:31Speaker 00

  It's pretty funny. It's pretty funny from me.

• 1:10:33Dax Shepard?

  Anyways, I hope you've enjoyed Smartless.

• 1:10:36Speaker 00

  Wait, man, shut up.

• 1:10:38Dax Shepard?

  Oh, that's our net. That's good.

• 1:10:39Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 1:10:40Dax Shepard?

  No, I have adored meeting you.

• 1:10:41Speaker 00

  I have adored meeting you.

• 1:10:42Dax Shepard?

  You're so sweet.

• 1:10:43Speaker 00

  Thank you for having me.

• 1:10:45Speaker 01

  Thanks for listening for so long.

• 1:10:46Dax Shepard?

  He's an armchair expert. I want you to just have some peace. This is my unsolicited advice.

• 1:10:52Speaker 00

  Please.

• 1:10:53Dax Shepard?

  It's really easy to miss the ride because I'm unpunked. I'm like, I gotta get off the show and get in movies. And I'm always like, I gotta be the lead of a movie. You're already fucking in an awesome spot.

• 1:11:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:11:03Dax Shepard?

  And don't miss it. That's it. That's my unsolicited advice.

• 1:11:07Speaker 01

  Are you gonna well up?

• 1:11:08Speaker 00

  I'm welling up.

• 1:11:10Speaker 00

  Thank you for the advice. This was a dream come true. Honestly, thank you for having me. And by the way, before we go, come by our show. I'm doing shows with Built Rewards. Not to plug them too much, but.

• 1:11:18Dax Shepard?

  Tell me.

• 1:11:18Speaker 00

  It's great. I met the CEO of this company, Built. They're a rent rewards company based in New York. You get earned points on your rent.

• 1:11:24Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:11:25Speaker 00

  And I met the CEO of this company at the US Open. We created this comedy series together. If you're a member of Built, you can come to our shows. We've taken over like iconic restaurants.

• 1:11:34Dax Shepard?

  Oh, really?

• 1:11:34Speaker 00

  Throughout the country, and we put comedy shows in those spaces.

• 1:11:37Speaker 01

  Oh, cool.

• 1:11:38Speaker 00

  We did it at the Comedy Store, but also like Luke Colly, this restaurant in Brooklyn and all these places. So they're fun. You would never expect to see a comedy show in these spots. You should come.

• 1:11:45Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I would love to. I would love to see you when you're in LA doing your full hour. I would love to see that.

• 1:11:49Speaker 00

  Please come, as I manifest my special.

• 1:11:52Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:11:52Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 1:11:53Speaker 00

  We work on this.

• 1:11:54Dax Shepard?

  You're delightful.

• 1:11:55Speaker 00

  I love you guys.

• 1:11:55Dax Shepard?

  We will be talking again.

• 1:11:57Speaker 00

  See you on OnlyFans.

• 1:11:57Dax Shepard?

  I'm certain of it.

• 1:11:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, you must come back.

• 1:11:59Dax Shepard?

  And go to mattfriend.com.

• 1:12:02Speaker 00

  mattfriend.com, the matt friend on Instagram.

• 1:12:05Dax Shepard?

  He's an armchair expert.

• 1:12:06Speaker 00

  Go ZipRecruiter. All right, take care.

• 1:12:11Speaker 04

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare.

• 1:12:17Dax Shepard?

  This episode is brought to you by ServiceNow. Look, I have my dream job. I get to talk to folks I admire like crazy and ask them virtually any question that I want to. I can't imagine a better way to spend my time. But even dream jobs have some not so dreamy parts. The stuff that gets in the way of the actual work. Now, that's where ServiceNow's AI specialists come in. They don't just tell you what you should do about your. Busy work, they actually do it. Start to finish. Cases closed, requests handled, no extra work for you. So you and your team can focus on what matters most, which for me is, are they obsessed with male bodies on the same level as I am?

• 1:13:00Speaker 01

  They never are.

• 1:13:01Dax Shepard?

  To learn how to put AI to work for people, visit servicenow.com. We get support from Instagram teen accounts. So we talk a lot on this show about how the world is different now than when we were growing up. And one of the biggest differences is obviously social media. And I think a lot of people wonder, okay, what's actually being done to make it safer for teenagers?

• 1:13:23Speaker 01

  Which is a fair question.

• 1:13:24Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. So Instagram has got something called teen accounts and they come with automatic protections built in by default. So anyone between 13 and 17 is automatically placed into this experience. They get age appropriate content settings, contact limits, so that by default, only people they're already connected to can message them. And time management tools, daily time limit reminders, and also sleep mode that mutes notifications from 10pm to 7am.

• 1:13:50Speaker 01

  Sleep mode is genius.

• 1:13:51Dax Shepard?

  Right? And here's the thing, for anyone under 16, a parent has to give permission to change any of those settings to be less strict. The guardrails are on and Instagram keeps building new safety features to create age appropriate experiences for teens.

• 1:14:07Speaker 01

  I am really glad Instagram is helping to give parents peace of mind with teen accounts.

• 1:14:11Dax Shepard?

  Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at instagram.com/teenaccounts. We are supported by Walden University. You know that feeling when you've been thinking about making a move, going after the degree, the promotion, the thing you keep telling yourself you'll get to someday? Walden University is built for that moment. For over 50 years, Walden has helped working professionals get the W, the knowledge, the skills, and the confidence to create real change in their careers and communities. Their programs are designed around your life, not the other way around. With Tempo Learning, available in select programs, there are no rigid schedules or set weekly deadlines. You move at your own pace.

• 1:14:56Dax Shepard?

  's faculty aren't just academics. They're practitioners who bring real world experience into everything they teach. From your first class to career coaching and beyond, Walden is your partner the whole way. Take the first step and learn at a pace that works for you. Visit walden.edu. Walden University. Set a course for change. Certified to operate by CHEV. We get support by Peloton. You know that feeling when you're spiraling over a problem and you just can't figure it out? When that happens to me, I need a change of pace. And I've found that running is the best way. It takes my brain out of the driver's seat and I come back with a fresh perspective. Running can be freeing and cathartic and Peloton helps you feel all of that.

• 1:15:40Dax Shepard?

  And now that feeling fits wherever you need it with the new Peloton Tread Flex. It's movable and foldable, designed to fit your life. So next time you feel stuck, you can go for a run literally anywhere. Whether that's in your office, living room, or even the attic. Plus, they have classes with expert instructors and programs to meet you at any level and keep you moving. Let yourself run. Explore the new Peloton Tread Flex at onepeloton.com.

• 1:16:11Dax Shepard?

  Stay tuned for the fact check. It's where the party's at.

• 1:16:19Dax Shepard?

  I'm gonna be honest, this is an Easter egg. We just had the greatest fucking interview.

• 1:16:24Speaker 01

  We had a great interview.

• 1:16:25Dax Shepard?

  Man, does that make me feel good.

• 1:16:26Speaker 01

  We've had a couple of great guests this week.

• 1:16:29Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:29Speaker 01

  Been a big week.

• 1:16:30Dax Shepard?

  A fun, fun week.

• 1:16:32Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:16:33Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:33Speaker 01

  You're wearing really red pants.

• 1:16:35Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, let's talk about it.

• 1:16:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, let's.

• 1:16:37Dax Shepard?

  Um, you know, the goofy pants I've fallen in love with?

• 1:16:40Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:16:41Dax Shepard?

  I noticed they had solid colors and I thought, I'll try that.

• 1:16:45Speaker 01

  How do you like it?

• 1:16:45Dax Shepard?

  I like it.

• 1:16:46Speaker 01

  They look, they're a thicker material than your other ones.

• 1:16:49Dax Shepard?

  They are. I do, I, I probably prefer them to be a little thinner. Um, but I, I do like them and I'm not sure what, where this trajectory takes me, but here we are.

• 1:17:01Speaker 01

  I do wonder where this is gonna go.

• 1:17:02Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I'm curious, cause I got three of these in different colors. And I put them on this morning and Delta said, oh wow, those are really red. And I said, uh, too red? And she's like, mm, no, that you're making them work.

• 1:17:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:17Dax Shepard?

  And I was like, okay, great.

• 1:17:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, they work. I love red.

• 1:17:20Dax Shepard?

  You gotta consider, you tell yourself you don't have to consider it, but you do, which is like, I drive her to school and then I walk her in.

• 1:17:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:28Dax Shepard?

  And I may be totally comfortable being myself, but I have to consider, you know, would I want my dad walking me in with Ronald McDonald pants on?

• 1:17:36Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:17:37Dax Shepard?

  You know, I gotta treat that somewhat seriously. So far, she's, she really supports.

• 1:17:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:42Dax Shepard?

  My stuff so far.

• 1:17:44Speaker 01

  She, um, I don't think is the type to care.

• 1:17:49Dax Shepard?

  To snuff out my shine.

• 1:17:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:52Dax Shepard?

  Cause she's so shiny.

• 1:17:54Speaker 01

  And she's just nice.

• 1:17:56Dax Shepard?

  And Kristen's out of town.

• 1:17:57Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:17:58Dax Shepard?

  And I absolutely love and cherish all the contributions that Kristen makes. They got the best mom in the world. She's so helpful.

• 1:18:04Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:18:05Dax Shepard?

  And I love having them by myself.

• 1:18:08Speaker 01

  What have you guys done?

• 1:18:09Dax Shepard?

  Last night, we went out to eat at Cafe 101.

• 1:18:12Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 1:18:12Dax Shepard?

  Like I'm like a, let's get out of the house, let's go adventure. Tomorrow morning, we're gonna wake up at six in the morning and go early before breakfast. And we've invited other people to join us.

• 1:18:22Speaker 01

  That's fun.

• 1:18:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. So, you know, once I'm in charge, it's definitely the extroverts go wild kind of, let's adventure. Let's get a lot of people and let's, let's party. And then even more importantly, I'm the only person to snuggle at night. I'm the only person that can give the hugs and the kisses. And so I get all of it. Whereas I would normally get probably 30% of it. I go up to 100% of it.

• 1:18:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:48Dax Shepard?

  In the last two nights in a row, and I don't think there's anything more euphoric on planet earth. And that includes all the drugs I've done. When I'm laying in bed with them, I've, like last night, I read The Giving Tree. Terrible choice. Terrible choice. I love that book and it's just the meanest book ever.

• 1:19:06Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 1:19:07Dax Shepard?

  That boy is so mean to that tree.

• 1:19:08Speaker 01

  Oh, I know.

• 1:19:09Dax Shepard?

  He is just so selfish.

• 1:19:11Speaker 01

  I was gonna bring up The Giving Tree when you told us about your tree.

• 1:19:14Dax Shepard?

  And.

• 1:19:15Speaker 01

  I decided not. Not to.

• 1:19:16Dax Shepard?

  And.

• 1:19:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:19:18Dax Shepard?

  That had just happened and I didn't connect those dots. I'm like, I just cut down a tree.

• 1:19:22Speaker 01

  I know. I should have brought it up, but I didn't.

• 1:19:25Dax Shepard?

  That was a, uh, uh, the, the, the book already makes you sad.

• 1:19:28Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 1:19:29Dax Shepard?

  You're just heartbroken for that poor tree.

• 1:19:31Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:19:31Dax Shepard?

  Anything to make him happy.

• 1:19:33Speaker 01

  It just gave so much.

• 1:19:35Dax Shepard?

  Yes. I'm old now and I wanna, I want a boat so I can get out of here. Cut my tree trunk down and make a boat.

• 1:19:43Speaker 01

  It's a.

• 1:19:44Dax Shepard?

  And you will be happy.

• 1:19:45Speaker 01

  It's a, it's a good book about codependence.

• 1:19:49Dax Shepard?

  Yes, it is. But I did see a part of it that I had never seen prior to.

• 1:19:53Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:19:54Dax Shepard?

  I mean, first was like, I was, it was getting sad and I was like, oh my God. And I just, I'm kind of re-triggering the fact that I just murdered this tree.

• 1:20:00Speaker 01

  And the stump's still there.

• 1:20:01Dax Shepard?

  It is still there. But one part of it that I don't think I had ever figured out that maybe is part of the message is at the end, he's sitting on the stump. That's all that's left of her.

• 1:20:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:13Dax Shepard?

  And she's happy. That's a her.

• 1:20:15Speaker 01

  Is it a her?

• 1:20:16Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:16Speaker 01

  I don't remember.

• 1:20:17Dax Shepard?

  Boy, I guess I don't know if I can say that, but it, it feels so nurturing. Take my apples. Let me provide for you. I don't know. Yes. Is, is, is a tree been a boy to you?

• 1:20:26Speaker 01

  I think.

• 1:20:27Dax Shepard?

  Wow.

• 1:20:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:28Dax Shepard?

  Rob?

• 1:20:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think I considered it a boy too.

• 1:20:32Dax Shepard?

  Whoa, okay.

• 1:20:33Speaker 00

  Uh, Google says it's a woman though.

• 1:20:35Speaker 01

  Oh, I wonder.

• 1:20:38Speaker 00

  Oh, she, it uses she.

• 1:20:39Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:20:40Speaker 00

  To use the tree throughout. So maybe.

• 1:20:41Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I guess that's why I know that. Cause I just read it.

• 1:20:44Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:20:45Dax Shepard?

  But I thought there was, there, there might be a, another message happening, which is at the very end of the book. He's an old man and he's dying. And he's out of energy and he just wants to sit.

• 1:20:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:59Dax Shepard?

  And she's dead. He's taken everything from her. And the two of them are pretty much finishing their life cycle together. And a little bit of it is like, oh yeah, that's, this is the, this is the life cycle. You're born, you play, there's a period of growing, then, and then they're dying. So it's almost just like, yeah, the tree was gonna die too. Trees die ultimately. Um, he accelerated that process greatly.

• 1:21:27Speaker 01

  Tree shouldn't die by the hands of the expense.

• 1:21:30Dax Shepard?

  Of a human, yeah, they should live more than 90 years. But they're both sitting there at the end of their life cycle together. And that's kind of interesting. I thought, oh, maybe that, that's part of what this is. This is more like just confronting like, yeah, this is, this is, this is life.

• 1:21:45Speaker 01

  I know, I mean, it is.

• 1:21:46Dax Shepard?

  You grow old and you die and.

• 1:21:48Speaker 01

  Sure, yeah.

• 1:21:50Dax Shepard?

  And, and they were together when they.

• 1:21:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, they were together, but one was abused. This is not a good.

• 1:21:57Dax Shepard?

  I was trying to find the silver lining and I guess maybe I'm reaching too far, but there is something about that last image of them there together, dying together.

• 1:22:04Speaker 01

  I think, I hope, I mean, the tree's dead.

• 1:22:07Dax Shepard?

  Well, no, it's because the tree's happy.

• 1:22:08Speaker 01

  Cause she's dead.

• 1:22:10Dax Shepard?

  No, unfortunately, she's happy because he's sitting on her.

• 1:22:13Speaker 01

  I know, this is so upsetting.

• 1:22:16Dax Shepard?

  It's the worst book ever written. It is the worst.

• 1:22:19Speaker 01

  So upsetting that she is on her death that she's been.

• 1:22:22Dax Shepard?

  God, I wish we could interview Shel Silverstein. I, I need to know like, what was happening in your life?

• 1:22:27Speaker 01

  His mom was probably abused. Now that we know it's a mom.

• 1:22:31Dax Shepard?

  He probably, but, but, but again, because I didn't know it was the mom in the book.

• 1:22:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, I didn't know that.

• 1:22:36Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and I knew, and I was like, oh yeah, this is this great metaphor for being a mom. It's like, I give my body to you to be born and then I feed you at the expense of my body. And I just give and I give and I give because I love you and I, and it makes me happy to give to you. And so it's also this kind of metaphor of parenting and, and nurturing. And you do it, you do it, you don't want anything back. Like if I'm the tree and my kids use every bit of me.

• 1:23:04Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:23:04Dax Shepard?

  I'm not mad and it wasn't codependent. Cause that's my purpose now on planet earth, you know?

• 1:23:09Speaker 01

  Not for them, the purpose shouldn't be for them to.

• 1:23:15Speaker 01

  Um, take advantage of you. Like, maybe they will, like, we all do. But there, there should be respect.

• 1:23:25Dax Shepard?

  There should be.

• 1:23:26Speaker 01

  I don't know if she's, is she a mom or is she the wife?

• 1:23:29Dax Shepard?

  No, no, she, I think she's a nurturing mom. That's at least how I'm interpreting it. She's there before him. She's a full grown tree when he arrives.

• 1:23:38Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:23:39Dax Shepard?

  And she's hugging him and she's playing hide and seek with him and she's feeding him her apples. And then when he needs a house, she helps him get a house and, you know, when he needs money, she helps. So it's very, very maternal.

• 1:23:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:23:51Dax Shepard?

  And I don't think it's wrong. It's like, what happens is someone does that for you. You're just a needy kid and you don't really consider your parents' feelings ever. You just want stuff and, and, and that sucks, but, but you then give that to another creature and that right size is what you took. It's like, I now am here.

• 1:24:13Speaker 01

  If all things go perfectly. I mean, it doesn't always end up like that.

• 1:24:18Dax Shepard?

  The experience I'm living right now is like, oh yeah, I don't mind at all. All the inconvenience and that. Like, I'm just here to support them and help get them across the finish line. And, and my mom did that for me and it doesn't feel lopsided because like I got to receive that as well. And that's just the nature. You're just ungrateful and you take and take and take.

• 1:24:39Speaker 01

  You weren't. That's like, like, that's my point. Like, you weren't and your kids aren't. Like, they do a lot of things for you. They give you like a lot of grace and they are, they are not the boy.

• 1:24:50Dax Shepard?

  No, they're not the boy.

• 1:24:51Speaker 01

  And you weren't the boy either. So like, I think the boy is a piece of shit.

• 1:25:00Speaker 04

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare.

• 1:25:06Dax Shepard?

  We get support from ZipRecruiter. Oh, get recruiting. So I went down this rabbit hole the other day on real holiday jobs that exist and I couldn't stop. Somebody out there is hiring a ham glazer, a professional ham glazer. Another place is hiring a lead elf, implying a whole hierarchy of elves I had never even considered. Here's the thing, these jobs need real skills. People like that are hard to find. Whether you're hiring for one of these roles or any other role, the best way to find qualified people who are genuinely excited about your role is on ZipRecruiter. And right now you can try it for free at ziprecruiter.com/dax. Plus ZipRecruiter has a new feature that

• 1:25:48Dax Shepard?

  shows you the most interested qualified candidates first, so you meet the right people faster. No wonder ZipRecruiter is the number one rated hiring site based on G2. Let ZipRecruiter find the right people for your roles, seasonal or otherwise. Try it for free today at ziprecruiter.com/dax. That's ziprecruiter.com/dax. Meet your match on ZipRecruiter.

• 1:26:20Dax Shepard?

  He should have known better, at least when he was a man. When he was coming to her as a man.

• 1:26:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, and he killed his mom.

• 1:26:27Dax Shepard?

  To make a boat.

• 1:26:29Dax Shepard?

  Oh, God. Yeah, it's a hard one. It's a hard one.

• 1:26:32Speaker 01

  I think it's even whether it's a mom or a wife or really just anyone, it's for me, the book is about the cost of taking and the cost of giving when it's not reciprocated. Yeah, like it's, but really the cost of taking like want, want, want, I want this, I want this, I want this. And what do you have at the end of the day? Your mom's dead.

• 1:26:53Dax Shepard?

  Great. Yes, yes. But the point that feels so parent child is that when she gives him the stuff, it says in the book, there's only one time it says, but she wasn't.

• 1:27:06Speaker 01

  I don't even remember.

• 1:27:06Dax Shepard?

  He cuts her down and then she says, but she was happy. And then next page it says, but she wasn't, or something like that. But up until then, it's giving her joy to provide for this, this little person that she loves.

• 1:27:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, because she probably thinks that that is gonna earn her something and really it didn't.

• 1:27:28Dax Shepard?

  It didn't. But again, this is the, this, this is what I'm driving home is that the quintessential part of parenting. Just so unique is that you don't expect anything back. You don't need anything back.

• 1:27:40Speaker 01

  I don't think you expect to be killed.

• 1:27:47Dax Shepard?

  No, no, no, that's taking it to a very extreme level.

• 1:27:49Speaker 01

  It's there for a reason. The reason it's an extreme level is because of that. Like you're taking advantage of someone's kindness.

• 1:27:57Dax Shepard?

  Absolutely. It's just, it is unique in that if I had a friendship that worked that way, I would hate it and I would be taken advantage of and I would be resentful. And I would, I would have great judgment over the person that just took, took, took, took, took. I will never have that towards my kids.

• 1:28:14Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:28:14Dax Shepard?

  That's just the weird magic of it.

• 1:28:16Speaker 01

  I understand. I, I, I believe you. I, I think you're right.

• 1:28:20Dax Shepard?

  And your parents, like, they just love you blindly. They want to provide for you and they don't ever want anything back.

• 1:28:26Speaker 01

  Uh, yes, but they also don't want cruelty.

• 1:28:30Dax Shepard?

  Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:28:31Speaker 01

  And again, like you don't, you're not in the experience where your kids are just take, take, take, taking and not, not giving anything. Like they don't even in the book. Does he even like, is he even nice to her?

• 1:28:44Dax Shepard?

  Well, he's a little boy. Yeah. They play nonstop and he carves into the thing, me and the tree.

• 1:28:49Speaker 01

  That's why I thought it was a wife.

• 1:28:51Dax Shepard?

  I think that's just a little boy, like your first girlfriend, your mom.

• 1:28:54Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. You carved in L, L plus D S.

• 1:28:59Dax Shepard?

  And I wrote her a Valentine's card and she wrote me one.

• 1:29:02Speaker 01

  Well, your mom is still gonna be your Valentine.

• 1:29:05Dax Shepard?

  Right. Which is kind of like a girlfriend role.

• 1:29:08Speaker 01

  Okay. Yeah. I guess that heart thing is what confused me. I definitely felt like it was a wife.

• 1:29:14Dax Shepard?

  Now, what was disrespectful is he then carved the name of his girlfriend into it as well. So there became two carvings.

• 1:29:20Speaker 01

  What a book.

• 1:29:21Dax Shepard?

  But again, that, that's like a mom too goes through that. Your, your son takes a wife.

• 1:29:26Speaker 01

  And did he scratch out?

• 1:29:27Dax Shepard?

  No, he didn't scratch it out.

• 1:29:30Dax Shepard?

  Too lazy to scratch it out. He might have wanted to. Such a prick.

• 1:29:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:29:34Dax Shepard?

  I'm not making any

• 1:29:36Speaker 01

  No, I know.

• 1:29:36Dax Shepard?

  Defense of him.

• 1:29:37Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:29:38Dax Shepard?

  But I am, I am attempting to imagine that she didn't feel taken advantage of weirdly, even though objectively she was.

• 1:29:45Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:29:46Dax Shepard?

  And that's relevant.

• 1:29:47Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah. You can't tell people how to feel.

• 1:29:51Dax Shepard?

  Like the amount that Martin Sheen.

• 1:29:53Speaker 01

  I was gonna ask.

• 1:29:54Dax Shepard?

  Gave of himself to help his son endlessly.

• 1:29:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:29:59Dax Shepard?

  And impatiently and lovingly.

• 1:30:01Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:30:02Dax Shepard?

  There's no way Martin could do that for a friend or colleague, you know?

• 1:30:06Speaker 01

  Right. Well, it would be codependent.

• 1:30:09Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 1:30:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, I guess that's true. But we've talked about this because I feel like when we talk about addiction and stuff, I've said, like, how could a parent possibly, because you, you know, you've said, like, you kind of have to let them just do it.

• 1:30:22Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:23Speaker 01

  And I'm always like, how? That's, that is truly impossible. How could a parent ever let their kid just go off the deep end? And you're like, well, that's how people get better. But, I mean, do you still feel that way?

• 1:30:38Dax Shepard?

  I do, but I cannot imagine someone, but Martin's an addict. Martin Sheen's a recovering addict.

• 1:30:44Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:30:45Dax Shepard?

  So in some sense, I do think he understands it better than your average parent who just ends up with an addict and they can't comprehend what's going on. Like, how could this person be choosing this thing and ruining their lives and blah blah? I saw my dad do it, you know, like my dad did it perfectly by my account. And so I guess that was a modeled for me.

• 1:31:03Speaker 01

  Which it was to you, what, like letting you do your thing?

• 1:31:06Dax Shepard?

  Letting me be me. Not even shaming me, having this weird faith that he had introduced me to this program and if I needed it at some point, I knew where to go. It's not like I didn't know what the solution was. I had witnessed it in him. And I have a similar. Mild confidence that's like if my kids get in trouble in that way. They certainly know what the solution is. And they certainly have had an example of it.

• 1:31:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:31:32Dax Shepard?

  And um, I'm a good person to talk to another addict because I I've done it a lot, you know?

• 1:31:37Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:31:38Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:38Speaker 01

  But I think you.

• 1:31:39Dax Shepard?

  What would be heartbreaking would just be watching the suffering.

• 1:31:44Speaker 01

  Well, exactly. I mean, not to like you. You did do it for Aaron. You stepped in and I think that's what I'm saying like you can have these ideas and you can be like, this is right. This is, and I understand, it makes total sense to me what you're saying, but I think when push comes to shove. If your child or your best friend is like gonna die. I think you're like, no.

• 1:32:07Dax Shepard?

  That's where my expertise came in. I. Knew he won't do it until he wanted to do it. And I was quite astute at seeing the exact moment. Oh, even he wants this because he wants to die otherwise.

• 1:32:22Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:32:23Dax Shepard?

  And so a year before, if I had said it, he wasn't there, it wouldn't have worked.

• 1:32:27Speaker 01

  Right. That makes sense.

• 1:32:28Dax Shepard?

  Um, but. He went off the map for five days and I know him so well. And he couldn't leave his room.

• 1:32:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:32:36Dax Shepard?

  And I knew, okay, next, and I mean soon. He'll be dead.

• 1:32:41Speaker 01

  Right, exactly.

• 1:32:42Dax Shepard?

  Um, and so now's the time to offer the lifeline.

• 1:32:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, okay, so you still do it, you just are gonna.

• 1:32:48Dax Shepard?

  You gotta know, I think a lot of people who are not. Very well versed in it, try many, they try after a DUI, they try after they get kicked out of their apartment. They try, you know, like they, they, they try prematurely.

• 1:32:58Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:32:59Dax Shepard?

  And they're just not there. And and I'm, I'm so sympathetic to those people because how do they know if they've not?

• 1:33:05Speaker 01

  Also, like, people. Die, you know, like, I mean, I think if your kid is at risk of dying.

• 1:33:13Dax Shepard?

  They die. But the great illusion is that you could have stopped that.

• 1:33:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:33:18Dax Shepard?

  And that's what I refuse to succumb to.

• 1:33:19Speaker 01

  Well, yeah.

• 1:33:20Dax Shepard?

  People do die of it.

• 1:33:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:33:22Dax Shepard?

  And there's no force on planet earth that can prevent that. And I accept that.

• 1:33:25Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:33:26Dax Shepard?

  To be a very harsh reality.

• 1:33:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's so hard as a parent.

• 1:33:30Dax Shepard?

  Other than kidnapping them and taking them to an island where they don't have anything, you know, anything short of of of of. Assuming their autonomy.

• 1:33:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:33:39Dax Shepard?

  You can't do it.

• 1:33:40Speaker 01

  No, I know, but it's so hard to like wrap your head. It's so heartbreaking. Did you see that movie Beautiful Boy?

• 1:33:45Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:33:46Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:33:47Dax Shepard?

  Just a heartbreaking.

• 1:33:48Speaker 01

  That's the worst. Movie I've ever seen.

• 1:33:50Dax Shepard?

  It's a giving tree of movies.

• 1:33:51Speaker 01

  It's the giving tree.

• 1:33:55Speaker 01

  Oh, my god.

• 1:33:57Dax Shepard?

  Want to do some facts?

• 1:33:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, let's do facts. Okay, Matt Frand facts.

• 1:34:02Dax Shepard?

  Matt Frax.

• 1:34:03Speaker 01

  You know what he opened the door for?

• 1:34:05Dax Shepard?

  What?

• 1:34:07Speaker 01

  A full read of the Taylor Swift. Oh, no.

• 1:34:14Dax Shepard?

  Maybe we are in my sim.

• 1:34:16Speaker 01

  My computer literally just died.

• 1:34:19Dax Shepard?

  I thought we were in your sim, but now I think.

• 1:34:21Speaker 01

  No, we are in my dad's sim.

• 1:34:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:24Speaker 01

  But he's trying to give me some hardship.

• 1:34:26Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay, yeah.

• 1:34:27Speaker 01

  Which he's doing a good job of.

• 1:34:29Dax Shepard?

  What is your other hardship? The clouds?

• 1:34:32Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:34:33Dax Shepard?

  Clouds and a dead computer?

• 1:34:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, and like. I'm not having a good hair day.

• 1:34:39Dax Shepard?

  I disagree.

• 1:34:40Speaker 01

  I had to put it up. Um, I do need to plug it in.

• 1:34:43Dax Shepard?

  Your bad hair day is better than 99% of people's great hair day.

• 1:34:46Speaker 01

  Thank you. Back to this very important Taylor Swift commencement speech.

• 1:34:53Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:34:53Speaker 01

  Let me just say. Welcome to New York. It's been waiting for you.

• 1:34:59Dax Shepard?

  Oh, we've entered the speech. You weren't saying, let me just say.

• 1:35:02Speaker 01

  No, but you believed me.

• 1:35:07Speaker 01

  Last time I was in a stadium this. Fine, I won't do it.

• 1:35:10Dax Shepard?

  Don't do it.

• 1:35:11Speaker 01

  No. It's 23 minutes.

• 1:35:14Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow. It was 23 minutes?

• 1:35:17Speaker 01

  Well, I could do it fast, but, um.

• 1:35:20Dax Shepard?

  Even at triple speed, we're still looking. Nine minutes, eight minutes.

• 1:35:25Speaker 01

  Okay. Now, we did clear this up real time, but I, I guess his dad is not Matthew Perry's dad.

• 1:35:32Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you thought that.

• 1:35:33Speaker 01

  That was a shock.

• 1:35:35Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:35Speaker 01

  Because the internet told me otherwise.

• 1:35:37Dax Shepard?

  And what was it? We knew it real time on the day, the confusion.

• 1:35:41Speaker 01

  Well, you said because Hank Azaria was friends with Matthew Perry and. Matt's dad is friends with Hank Azaria.

• 1:35:47Dax Shepard?

  His best friends.

• 1:35:48Speaker 01

  But like, that is not why it said straight up that his dad was Matthew Perry's dad.

• 1:35:53Dax Shepard?

  Best, no, but it was, your dad's best friend was Matthew Perry. It was never that he's the son of Matthew Perry. Matthew Perry doesn't have any children.

• 1:36:01Speaker 01

  No, no, no. It's that basically him and Matthew Perry are brothers.

• 1:36:04Dax Shepard?

  Brothers.

• 1:36:06Speaker 01

  That they share a dad.

• 1:36:07Dax Shepard?

  They have the same dad.

• 1:36:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's what I read.

• 1:36:09Dax Shepard?

  That would be a fur- that man's window of fecundity would be broad.

• 1:36:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, but men do this.

• 1:36:15Dax Shepard?

  Cause I think Matt is a good thirty-five years younger than.

• 1:36:19Speaker 01

  He's twenty-seven and Matthew Perry was.

• 1:36:22Dax Shepard?

  Be sixty-two?

• 1:36:24Speaker 01

  Was that old?

• 1:36:25Dax Shepard?

  I don't know.

• 1:36:26Speaker 01

  We can find out.

• 1:36:27Speaker 00

  He was fifty-four.

• 1:36:29Speaker 01

  And that was a couple of years ago.

• 1:36:30Speaker 00

  Two thousand twenty-three, he was fifty-four.

• 1:36:32Speaker 01

  Two years ago.

• 1:36:33Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so he'd be fifty-six.

• 1:36:35Speaker 01

  Okay, so that can happen.

• 1:36:37Dax Shepard?

  Could happen, yeah. Well, yeah, you could be, you could be seventy years younger than your brother.

• 1:36:42Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:36:43Dax Shepard?

  If you're the child of that Italian actor who was having kids up to in his nineties.

• 1:36:48Speaker 01

  Men do this.

• 1:36:48Dax Shepard?

  I know, they do it. I don't, it's crazy.

• 1:36:50Speaker 01

  It could happen, and I thought it happened, but it didn't. Are people who are good at impressions neurodivergent? No. Being good at impressions does not mean someone is neurodivergent, but there are connections, especially with autism, where pattern recognition skills and detailed observation can lead to strong impression-making abilities, particularly, particularly through learned analysis rather than purely intuitive social understanding. Some neurodivergent individuals use these detailed observational skills to analyze and replicate behaviors, including voices and mannerisms, as a form of pattern recognition or learned social strategy.

• 1:37:31Dax Shepard?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:37:32Speaker 01

  His brother is the COO of Thrive. Chief Operating Officer.

• 1:37:38Dax Shepard?

  Impressive.

• 1:37:39Speaker 01

  Okay, the Chicago place that works on food allergies is University of Chicago Medicine. It's called Food Allergy Research and Education, Bayer Organization. So they cured him.

• 1:37:55Dax Shepard?

  That's crazy. I didn't know that was an option.

• 1:37:59Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:38:00Dax Shepard?

  I kinda want that.

• 1:38:01Speaker 01

  Ninety-nine percent success rate.

• 1:38:04Dax Shepard?

  Wow.

• 1:38:05Speaker 01

  That's really cool.

• 1:38:07Dax Shepard?

  Wow. Although I also feel like it's a blessing I can't eat gluten.

• 1:38:11Speaker 01

  But garlic.

• 1:38:12Dax Shepard?

  Garlic.

• 1:38:13Speaker 01

  You should try to eat garlic.

• 1:38:14Dax Shepard?

  I should do it with garlic. I miss garlic so much.

• 1:38:17Speaker 01

  Garlic's so good.

• 1:38:18Dax Shepard?

  It pops up everywhere too and irritates me.

• 1:38:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, you should do it.

• 1:38:22Dax Shepard?

  It was on the potatoes last night at Cara.

• 1:38:24Speaker 01

  Oh, you went to Cara?

• 1:38:24Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:25Speaker 01

  Surprised I didn't see you. I mean, I didn't go to Cara.

• 1:38:27Dax Shepard?

  I looked in the bar for you.

• 1:38:28Speaker 01

  Oh, I wasn't there.

• 1:38:30Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, we brought four little girls. They sat at their own table, or three of them did.

• 1:38:36Speaker 01

  Oh, that's cute.

• 1:38:37Dax Shepard?

  Super cute.

• 1:38:39Speaker 01

  Sophia.

• 1:38:40Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, Delta's like had Ben there. Oh, we gotta try the broccolini.

• 1:38:43Speaker 01

  Oh, my.

• 1:38:48Speaker 01

  Oh, my God. So cute. Okay.

• 1:38:52Dax Shepard?

  And she came over and said, it was like, the broccolini is so good tonight.

• 1:38:59Speaker 01

  Oh, my God. Also, whoa. You maybe forgot to mention this. So you were at Carl where I am a lot. I wasn't there. Guess where I was?

• 1:39:06Dax Shepard?

  Mess Hall.

• 1:39:07Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:39:07Dax Shepard?

  I almost went to Mess Hall. I was talking them into Mess Hall when Delta said, can we go to Carl?

• 1:39:11Speaker 01

  Guess who else went to Mess Hall?

• 1:39:13Dax Shepard?

  Who?

• 1:39:14Speaker 01

  Wabi Wab.

• 1:39:15Dax Shepard?

  Oh, that's the least shocking thing, to be honest.

• 1:39:19Speaker 01

  No, but.

• 1:39:20Dax Shepard?

  Because 100% of the time that I go to Mustard Seed, I see Rob out the window.

• 1:39:25Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:39:25Dax Shepard?

  Rob lives on Hillhurst. Rob, oh, another thing, Rob, people in the comments are really demanding that you have a camera back there. Don't you have one?

• 1:39:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, just, yeah.

• 1:39:37Dax Shepard?

  They want to see you when you talk.

• 1:39:39Speaker 01

  They'd see me when I talk in the fact check.

• 1:39:41Dax Shepard?

  They claim they don't.

• 1:39:42Speaker 01

  Then maybe they need to watch YouTube.

• 1:39:45Dax Shepard?

  No, they're watching YouTube and they want him to have a camera.

• 1:39:48Speaker 01

  I think it's during interviews. I don't, I don't record it during interviews when it comes up because it's.

• 1:39:53Dax Shepard?

  But it does cut to you in the fact check?

• 1:39:55Speaker 01

  Fact checks, yeah. Well, it pops up in a little corner.

• 1:39:57Dax Shepard?

  Okay. Well, they're mad. They've spoken.

• 1:40:00Speaker 01

  People watch the YouTube, watch the fact check.

• 1:40:04Dax Shepard?

  They demand satisfaction and I appreciate it.

• 1:40:06Speaker 01

  So you could have been there and I could have been there and Wabi Wab could have all been there.

• 1:40:10Dax Shepard?

  That would have been wild.

• 1:40:11Speaker 01

  It would have been fun.

• 1:40:12Dax Shepard?

  I tried.

• 1:40:13Speaker 01

  The weirder thing is, we had a Juilliard guest on. Yeah.

• 1:40:17Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:17Speaker 01

  The family we went to dinner with, both parents went to Juilliard. Weird.

• 1:40:23Dax Shepard?

  They're two of 16.

• 1:40:25Speaker 01

  Yeah. That's wild. They met there? Well, one was dance, one was acting. Got it. Wow, cool. Um, the poet that spoke at his commencement speech, uh, is named Judy Human. H E U M A N N. Judith Human.

• 1:40:45Dax Shepard?

  And she's probably someone's favorite, and I was being cavalier, and I apologize.

• 1:40:50Speaker 01

  We were just kidding. We were just kidding.

• 1:40:52Dax Shepard?

  And I didn't really know who he's talking about.

• 1:40:54Speaker 01

  Oh, God, it's a ding ding ding, cuz...

• 1:40:56Dax Shepard?

  She passed a year.

• 1:40:57Speaker 01

  Well, she passed, but also she was an American disability rights activist.

• 1:41:01Dax Shepard?

  Oh, that is an incredible ding ding ding.

• 1:41:02Speaker 01

  Yeah. Known as the mother of the disability rights movement. Wow. She was recognized internationally as a leader in the disability community. Human was a lifelong civil rights activist for people with disabilities. Wow. All right. She was seventy-five. That's a little young for my liking.

• 1:41:20Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. I even thought Redford seemed young at eighty-nine. Do we know what he passed of?

• 1:41:24Speaker 01

  I think just old age. That's old.

• 1:41:27Dax Shepard?

  This fight's over.

• 1:41:28Speaker 01

  Natural causes. Yeah.

• 1:41:29Dax Shepard?

  Natural causes, that's a victory.

• 1:41:32Speaker 01

  That's a huge victory.

• 1:41:33Dax Shepard?

  Although, can it be natural cause? We say natural causes, but some organ failed, or some cancer got somebody.

• 1:41:39Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, you're...

• 1:41:40Dax Shepard?

  You don't just like, it's not like your body is, it's like, okay, everything is great, but we're turning off.

• 1:41:45Speaker 01

  Peacefully and asleep. It is kind of like that. I think it, I think it is like your organs are just done.

• 1:41:51Dax Shepard?

  All in the same day, though, that's...

• 1:41:53Speaker 01

  Well...

• 1:41:54Dax Shepard?

  Some coordination.

• 1:41:55Speaker 01

  Over time.

• 1:41:56Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. I would just expect, like, one of the organs stops working very well.

• 1:42:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:42:01Dax Shepard?

  And it leads the charge to your demise.

• 1:42:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's probably right.

• 1:42:04Dax Shepard?

  Just all of them, though, like dissipating beautifully. Like, when I hear natural causes, it does sound like nothing was wrong, but something has to be wrong.

• 1:42:12Speaker 01

  Well, age. I mean, haven't you seen someone over eighty? Like, they are slowly diminishing.

• 1:42:19Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. We'll fix that, though. We're gonna fix that.

• 1:42:22Speaker 01

  We'll try our best with these peptides.

• 1:42:25Dax Shepard?

  I was with my best friend on Monday, and I was thinking, they gotta, they gotta get all this stuff figured out.

• 1:42:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:42:34Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, because I don't ever want to lose them.

• 1:42:36Speaker 01

  It won't. He won't.

• 1:42:38Dax Shepard?

  He'll always be here. Okay.

• 1:42:40Speaker 01

  Everyone will always be.

• 1:42:41Dax Shepard?

  Everyone will always be.

• 1:42:46Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:42:47Dax Shepard?

  All right, love you.

• 1:43:03Dax Shepard?

  We are supported by Allstate. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking if the movie is sold out before you show up, you drove across town, found parking, got in line, and now the person behind the counter is giving you that look. Sold out. Guess you're watching whatever starts in 10 minutes. Yeah, checking first is an excellent idea. So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.