Ep 626 - Oil Boy (feat. Dru Montana & Lemaire Lee)

Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Lemeez and the bros @ https://www.patreon.com/pitm Support Dru @ https://www.patreon.com/DigitalBazooka https://www.patreon.com/duragandthedeertag Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com See Dru Live @ https://www.instagram.com/dru_montana/?hl=en Go See Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/ Go See Shawn Gardini Live if you want @ https://www.shawngardini.com/live Yello. At Matt HQ this week with the broz. Meez of course and Dru from round da way. He's visiting all the way from our beautiful homeland Philadelphia. Shangz on a little vacation after his big show. Lord knows he earned it. Everyone send him luv <3 There may be a beach cast comin soon tho shhhhh ;) Please enjoy. God Bless. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Matt McCusker?

  Wow, wow, Wes.

• 0:02Speaker 01

  What do we put the polar bear's head in a fishbowl?

• 0:07Matt McCusker?

  We didn't start yet. I'm not including any of this.

• 0:10Speaker 02

  We don't have to, dude.

• 0:11Matt McCusker?

  We're starting now. Hey, guys, what's going on?

• 0:15Speaker 02

  Hey, Matt.

• 0:16Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I, uh, you guys saw I got a case of water before. I went out, I got the, I ordered it on GoPuff. I got usually, GoPuff usually drivers, humble lads in this area, humble lads, and when they hand me, usually give me the case, I get the big case of Mountain Valley water. And they fucking, they'll honestly kind of pump me up a little bit. Whoa, it's okay. And I'm like, bro, moy fuerte. And it's like kind of a fun thing I enjoy. I just, I just had the misfortune of getting like a unicycle white guy as a delivery guy.

• 0:47Speaker 02

  No grande aguas today?

• 0:49Matt McCusker?

  I got the grande aguas, but it was just nothing but fucking unicycle attitude.

• 0:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 0:53Matt McCusker?

  I call him, I'm like, yo, dude, uh, I'm coming out. Where you at? He's like, I'm on the corner of blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, all right, well, I'm in the middle of the street, dude. Like, like, come to the middle. Oh, he's just like all attitude. I'm like.

• 1:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, he had the unicycle around.

• 1:07Matt McCusker?

  Oh, dude.

• 1:07Speaker 01

  When a box of, he was balanced.

• 1:10Matt McCusker?

  He wasn't on the unicycle. I just, I know for a fact he's a unicycle white. I was like, no, I know this guy's a unicycle guy.

• 1:17Speaker 02

  Dude, I remember.

• 1:17Matt McCusker?

  Whatever the fuck it's called. What is it? It's called the unicycle, right?

• 1:20Speaker 02

  Like the one wheel power draw, yeah. I don't like those. I, I saw a guy on a unicycle when I was in like middle school and they were like older kids that were smoking weed. And I was just hanging around and I was trying to sound cool. And I asked the guy if he could do a wheelie on it. And they were all like, what are you, a fucking retard?

• 1:36Speaker 02

  Obviously, I can't fucking wheel it. I was like, my bad. I'll just go to my mom's or whatever.

• 1:40Matt McCusker?

  To be fair, kind of embarrassing to ride a wheelieless craft.

• 1:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, right, yeah.

• 1:45Matt McCusker?

  You guys are fucking, and also you can technically lean the front up and do.

• 1:48Speaker 02

  That's what I was thinking, dude.

• 1:50Matt McCusker?

  A manual. You're asking about a manual.

• 1:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, right.

• 1:54Speaker 01

  You can bounce that thing. You can pogo stick a unicycle.

• 1:57Matt McCusker?

  Dude, they get no air. Unicycle guys get no air. That's why they're so fucking tested. They're riding a craft and they get, they get the least air out of any rider.

• 2:06Speaker 02

  No air.

• 2:07Matt McCusker?

  None, no air whatsoever.

• 2:08Speaker 02

  A flightless bird.

• 2:10Matt McCusker?

  They are. They're like an ostrich.

• 2:12Speaker 02

  Fucking dodo.

• 2:13Matt McCusker?

  This guy was a fucking grump. He was, dude, I like, it was like, hey, I'm, I'm here. I'm like, all right, dude, well, the, it's not what the address doesn't say to sit on the fucking corner, dude. It's a big ass case of water. So I'm like, well, I'm in the middle of the street. I was like, just come down here. I come out, he's already in the middle of the street. I don't know why he said he was on the corner. I'm like, oh, oh, there, he's like, I'm over here. I'm like, okay. So I go up and then he's like, hands me, I have the tiny case of Liquid Death, the big Mountain Valley, hands me a Liquid Death first. I'm like, okay, bro, how am I gonna hold the Liquid Death and grab the case? So I, I'm like, put the Liquid Death down on his car.

• 2:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, broke it and stack.

• 2:45Matt McCusker?

  And then.

• 2:46Speaker 02

  He's never built a snowman before.

• 2:48Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, clearly, yeah, clearly. Oh, just nothing but attitude, dude. Not even like, I, I mean, again, I was just sorely missing my humble lads. I put the Liquid Death down. So I'm like, dickhead, I can't hold that and hold this. And so I see he like, he's like, oh, it's heavy. I, I shouldn't have done this, but I was like, don't worry, the big guns are taking over.

• 3:11Matt McCusker?

  I gave the unicycle white a tiny bar. I said, brother, the big gun, the big guns got it from here, man.

• 3:15Speaker 01

  That was dad energy, dude. Hit him with some dad energy. He needs some discipline.

• 3:18Matt McCusker?

  I gave him some, I did give him dad energy. Hit him with the big gun, especially a guy roughly my same age. He'd be like, kind of criminal to sun another adult, like.

• 3:27Speaker 02

  You go watch this.

• 3:30Matt McCusker?

  I want to go up, GoPuff. Like, why didn't your driver tell me how strong I was when I was taking a case of water? I had to big up myself. I had to big up myself because there wasn't a Mexican guy there to do it for me. But I said, the big guns taking over, brother. Don't worry about it.

• 3:43Speaker 02

  I think that's gotta be a requirement for GoPuff is like, you gotta be able to carry thirty-five to fifty pounds, I'd imagine.

• 3:49Speaker 01

  Dude, I, I GoPuffed once and I got an old lady and I had to like help her. It was just like thirty-two waters. I had to go to her car and help her like move it. I was like, why did I actually just went to the store?

• 3:59Speaker 02

  Wait, that was your, oh, you were the, you were ordering the GoPuff?

• 4:02Matt McCusker?

  You should, at that point, you should just take that old lady. She's included.

• 4:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, so if I won't get one, dude.

• 4:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, she's included. Like, all right, you're coming in here too. I want an old maid for my house.

• 4:13Speaker 02

  I did, uh, I did DoorDash for like one day. I got maybe three hours into it and I was already hating it. DoorDash sucks. It's like, you go into a Wendy's and you're just fucking waiting for food and then, uh, that's the whole experience. But I remember I like halfway through it, or, cause I planned on working for like six hours and I only made it like three. But I got the Wendy's and fucking, I got the shit and it was a full bag. And then as soon as I got out to bring it to the guy's house, the bottom of the bag just fell out. It was like fries and like chicken sandwiches everywhere. I was like, fuck this. And I just went home. I just left it on his sidewalk. I didn't even text anybody.

• 4:48Speaker 01

  I would have picked up a sandwich and went home. Yeah, that's it.

• 4:51Speaker 02

  I love quitting a job without telling anyone.

• 4:54Matt McCusker?

  Quitting a job might be my favorite thing in the world.

• 4:56Speaker 02

  Dude, the last time I did this pod was, it was like three years ago and it was, uh, I quit a job. It was, uh, cause you hit me up and you were like, hey, can you do the pod? And I was like, two weeks in at like this data entry bullshit job that I hated. And I was like, yeah, of course. And I went and told my boss. I was like, hey, I have a doctor's appointment. Forgot to tell you guys. She was like, you're still in your training period. You can't go to the doctors. And I go, oh, fuck. So I went back and I sat at my desk for like three minutes. And then I was doing like one-on-one training with this girl and I go, hey, I gotta go to the bathroom real quick. And I just, I came into the pod and I never came back.

• 5:28Matt McCusker?

  That is a sick move.

• 5:29Speaker 02

  It was sick.

• 5:30Matt McCusker?

  And I, I did that at LA Fitness and then I had a change of heart. I was, I like just escaped. I was just like, I'm just gonna dip real quick in the middle of the day. And I was like, come on, dude, just at least go tell the guy. So I was already at my car and I turned, I doubled back, went inside. I was like, hey, man. He's like, what's up? I was like, going home. He was like, what? I was like, yeah, I'm just, I'm leaving. He was like, what the fuck, man? Same thing. He's like, I just trained you. You do your two-year training. Like, you can't leave. And I was like, no, I'm leaving. I just figured I'd at least tell you because I was just gonna just like vanish. And he was like, he was just confused. He was just like.

• 6:03Speaker 02

  He didn't appreciate it?

• 6:04Matt McCusker?

  He was confused. He was like, why? I was like, I don't like this.

• 6:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:09Matt McCusker?

  I'm just going home. And he was like, you can't go home. You can't go home. And I was like, I am. I just figured I'd at least tell you.

• 6:15Speaker 01

  That's fair though, like.

• 6:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I gave him fucking one minute notice.

• 6:21Speaker 02

  Go find another guy to train.

• 6:23Speaker 01

  They're evaluating you for three weeks. It's like, but I'm also, they're evaluating you, so you should be evaluating them. You should be like, is, do I want to stay here also, you know?

• 6:33Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, but the problem is you lied so hard in the interview. You're like, this is just the opportunity.

• 6:38Speaker 02

  Dude, fake resumes and lying in interviews have been my whole job experience. I go into job interviews and I'm like, I know everything you could ever imagine. I got references that'll tell you I know everything. And then as soon as I get the job, they're like, he doesn't know Excel. Even it's like basic shit. I can't do it.

• 6:53Speaker 01

  You're like, huh?

• 6:55Speaker 02

  And I just waited out for three weeks till I get fired.

• 6:58Speaker 01

  And like, you don't know Excel? You're like, no, I'm doing great at this job.

• 7:01Matt McCusker?

  I used to claim PowerPoint hard on my resume. Cause I like used it once in college and I, I could like ba- barely drag and drop like a presentable thing into it. And I was like, very proficient in PowerPoint.

• 7:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Efficient in Microsoft Suite is on my resume. I know none of it, dude.

• 7:17Speaker 01

  Once you figure.

• 7:17Speaker 02

  I can do like a PowerPoint on like my top ten NBA players. And that's it. It's like, I can't do any of the special shit though.

• 7:24Speaker 01

  Once you figure out animations in PowerPoint, you're a fucking master.

• 7:26Speaker 02

  I know none of it, dude.

• 7:27Matt McCusker?

  Well, dude, Excel is, apparently Excel, you can do all kinds of crazy shit in there.

• 7:32Speaker 02

  Dude, when you say you know Excel, you don't fucking know shit.

• 7:35Matt McCusker?

  No, I, I can hardly fill out like subheadings in the, or like headings in the top and stretch the cells out. I can do that, but then the numbers get all, they start adding. I'm like, don't add.

• 7:46Speaker 02

  You can do formulas in Excel where you type it into one and then it goes a different number into a different thing.

• 7:51Matt McCusker?

  I have a friend who does that.

• 7:52Speaker 02

  I told him I was proficient and they're like explaining all this shit to me. I go, what do you mean?

• 7:57Matt McCusker?

  True. I never said I was a master.

• 8:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, the job interview, and they're also lying to you about how like exciting the job is, how many opportunities it'll yield you. It's like, we're basically catching you in a cage.

• 8:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:11Matt McCusker?

  And we're gonna fucking just like steal your life.

• 8:13Speaker 02

  That's exactly what they were trying to do to me.

• 8:15Matt McCusker?

  And frustrate, we're gonna frustrate you and mislead you and try to get the most out of you for the absolute least amount of money. And you're like, well, I want the most amount of money for the least amount of work.

• 8:23Speaker 01

  They should give you cigarettes during training. Like, you're gonna need this.

• 8:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:28Matt McCusker?

  That'd be kind of nice.

• 8:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, that'd be sick.

• 8:30Matt McCusker?

  That would be funny. But so this job fucking blows, soul crushing, boring.

• 8:36Speaker 02

  But cigarettes.

• 8:38Matt McCusker?

  Here's some cigs. That would be respectable.

• 8:40Speaker 01

  I wrote a sketch like that where like you're in the orientation, but like, it's like showing you all the perks and wanted to purchase like a gimp room.

• 8:48Matt McCusker?

  Instead of like a gym, you just can go gimp out?

• 8:50Speaker 01

  You could just like beat the shit out of a gimp during the middle of your workday, you know?

• 8:54Matt McCusker?

  Oh, I thought you meant wear like a gimp mask, you know, get off breathing.

• 8:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, but like.

• 8:57Matt McCusker?

  Oh, you could go.

• 8:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:59Speaker 02

  You can either be the gimp or.

• 9:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, you could be the gimp or get downed by the gimp.

• 9:03Matt McCusker?

  Did you make this sketch?

• 9:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, I wrote it. I didn't make it yet.

• 9:07Speaker 02

  I'm looking for somebody to play the gimp.

• 9:12Speaker 01

  I got a guy.

• 9:13Speaker 02

  What is the gimp, what is beating the gimp supposed to do for you? Just get out your.

• 9:16Matt McCusker?

  Are you on the mic?

• 9:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:17Speaker 02

  I guess it's like a rage room type thing.

• 9:19Speaker 01

  You know, like, uh.

• 9:21Speaker 02

  But what if it horns you up? What if it's like?

• 9:22Matt McCusker?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 9:23Speaker 01

  That's okay.

• 9:23Matt McCusker?

  So, okay, so it's like free use on the, so it would be like a tech company where they'd be like, here's a ping pong table, open a door and it's basically like free use on a gimp.

• 9:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:34Speaker 02

  It's gonna do, it's gonna do numbers.

• 9:38Speaker 02

  Well, man, you might shake up the industry, man.

• 9:42Matt McCusker?

  I mean, it's genuinely funny.

• 9:45Speaker 02

  He's going in at Google next week.

• 9:47Speaker 01

  I visited Facebook and they had like a full arcade and like movie theater. And I was like, why don't they have a gimp?

• 9:54Matt McCusker?

  When did you visit Facebook, by the way?

• 9:56Speaker 01

  In two thousand and twenty one. Oh, like, like a, the day before Kobe died. Literally the day before Kobe died.

• 10:03Matt McCusker?

  Can you just go, how did you, how did this come about?

• 10:05Speaker 01

  One of my friends girlfriends used to, his ex-girlfriend used to work at Facebook.

• 10:08Matt McCusker?

  So you got to go in?

• 10:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was like, I wanna go.

• 10:11Matt McCusker?

  What? And they just let you in?

• 10:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, she just took me. Yeah.

• 10:14Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 10:14Speaker 01

  It was a huge campus. It was nice.

• 10:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's pretty awesome.

• 10:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:18Matt McCusker?

  I could see you rising in the tech sphere.

• 10:21Matt McCusker?

  That'd be so nice. I mean, dude, just the gimp mask thing alone.

• 10:25Speaker 02

  Like, I got some ideas.

• 10:26Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 10:27Speaker 02

  What if we got just an absolute sub?

• 10:29Speaker 01

  What about the iPhone? You know, think about it. Turn it upside down. They would love that.

• 10:33Matt McCusker?

  The iPhone turned upside down?

• 10:36Speaker 01

  Convert the iPhone.

• 10:37Speaker 02

  Sometimes the iPhone is upside down and you can't even really tell. You know what I mean? It kinda looks all the same to me.

• 10:43Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 10:45Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, sometimes I try to get my screen horizontal. It won't go and I'm like.

• 10:48Speaker 02

  I go, what the fuck's happening?

• 10:49Matt McCusker?

  Screen lock's not even on. I'm going, dude, and I like position it. I don't know if that's like magnetism or something trying to.

• 10:55Speaker 02

  It's all about the poles, dude. You gotta face it south.

• 10:58Matt McCusker?

  Fuck, I hate, I hate computer. I am a Luddite. I hate tech. I truly do. I, I, I'm getting my screen time lower and lower. I, I finally touched sub two hours a day, screen time.

• 11:08Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 11:09Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's my low. I'm back up to two, two hours a day.

• 11:11Speaker 02

  That, I mean, that's huge, man. Congrats. I think I'm at like, I don't realize it, but I'm, every day I'm at like seven, six, or seven or eight hours of screen time. I'm like, how the fuck does that happen?

• 11:20Speaker 01

  All my screen times is reels.

• 11:23Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 11:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:24Speaker 01

  It's just eight hours of reels.

• 11:25Matt McCusker?

  I feel, I mean, here's the thing, GPS, if you're driving, that kind of adds to it technically. But I do, that's just those quick little breaks. You don't realize there's like forty of them a day. I just came, I like, I had to just, I was like, dude, I never feel good when I look at this shit. Every time I look at it, I feel like a dumbass.

• 11:40Speaker 02

  Right.

• 11:41Matt McCusker?

  Like, I feel like I've done a really bad drug. Every time I look at it afterwards, I just kinda come down from it. I'm like, what the fuck?

• 11:46Speaker 02

  But is there any FOMO of that for you? Like, well, you probably don't know there was a fucking Jaguar that attacked an Indian guy in a liquor store this morning.

• 11:54Matt McCusker?

  But it's like, that'll be, it'll be another one of those tomorrow. Didn't know that. Swear to God, had no idea.

• 11:59Speaker 02

  I mean, it is something that happens every day, probably.

• 12:01Matt McCusker?

  But here's the thing, the, the, if it's big enough, I'll hear about it in real life. And now I know about the Jaguar that attacked the Indian guy and I can search that out rather than just trolling through an NMSA bullshit. That was a video. It was a pretty good.

• 12:12Speaker 02

  Pretty good. The Jaguar comes in, he's on ten, immediately he's like, ah, he pounces on the guy. And then the guy fights him off and then the Jaguar hides behind some Captain Morgan bottles. He just chills.

• 12:23Matt McCusker?

  Is, is there audio to it?

• 12:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:25Speaker 01

  Sounds AI.

• 12:27Speaker 02

  No, this is real. This is in, it's in India. It's a Jaguar. This happens.

• 12:32Matt McCusker?

  Can we get it? Can we fact, can we fact check? Let's fact check.

• 12:36Speaker 02

  NY Post posted it.

• 12:38Speaker 01

  If a guy got pounced on by a Jaguar, he'd truly be dead.

• 12:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, but they carry sticks on them.

• 12:44Speaker 01

  Jaguar sticks?

• 12:45Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he had a jag stick on him. Well, it's for Pakistanis, but he had, he had a jag. He has Pakistani stick and he just took the Jaguar down. Yeah, they see each other apparently. I mean, the border is a big thing. They do gangs in New York on the border.

• 12:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:59Speaker 02

  And these are Pakistanis?

• 13:00Matt McCusker?

  They like talk to each other and fucking, it's a thriller. It's a thriller video.

• 13:06Matt McCusker?

  Did this thing really happen?

• 13:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:09Speaker 01

  Make it strict by AI too. We can't, we can't.

• 13:13Speaker 02

  I mean, everything's, yeah, everything could be AI now, but it looks as real as it gets to me, dude. And I think if it was, if they had made it like much more of worse and gruesome, then I'd be like, this might be fake, but.

• 13:24Matt McCusker?

  If the guy like floated up and like rotated.

• 13:26Speaker 02

  It's a mild, he has five fingers, so it's a mild Jaguar attack.

• 13:31Speaker 03

  I think you might've missed the water buffalo flipping the guy up and he floated into the sky a couple times.

• 13:36Speaker 02

  Did you see that? The bison?

• 13:38Matt McCusker?

  I don't see the water buffalo either.

• 13:39Speaker 02

  Oh, man. Dude, that sixty-five year old guy gets fucking launched by a bison.

• 13:44Matt McCusker?

  And that's real?

• 13:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's real. Real as hell.

• 13:47Matt McCusker?

  What the hell was he, what was he doing to the bison?

• 13:50Speaker 01

  He was just in the park.

• 13:51Speaker 02

  He, dude, he's running around. You ever like get your little brother on one side of the kitchen island and you're on the other and you're trying to catch him? He's doing that with the bison like around a tree. And then the bison, the bison finally pulls up on him and goes.

• 14:01Matt McCusker?

  Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah, he really did fight a Jaguar or leopard, leopard.

• 14:07Speaker 02

  Leopards. Yeah, yeah. Same thing, dude.

• 14:08Matt McCusker?

  Damn, dude. I mean, what would be sicker? I, I like fantasize about this all the time of just like a life or death scenario caught on camera where you emerged victoriously.

• 14:18Speaker 01

  Oh, like over like a leopard and a.

• 14:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, if he grabbed that leopard and snapped its neck, that would've been sick.

• 14:23Matt McCusker?

  Or just even a guy.

• 14:25Speaker 01

  That guy's getting all the Indian pussy right now, I bet.

• 14:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, his pops being sent left and right.

• 14:31Speaker 01

  Bob's vagina, Bob's vagina's in the chat.

• 14:34Matt McCusker?

  He should be. I mean, he should be. If you fight off a lever in your liquor store.

• 14:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:39Matt McCusker?

  Should be something.

• 14:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, you gotta get sucked.

• 14:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 14:42Speaker 02

  You gotta get sucked.

• 14:44Matt McCusker?

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• 14:53Matt McCusker?

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• 15:04Matt McCusker?

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• 15:20Matt McCusker?

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• 15:25Speaker 02

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• 15:25Matt McCusker?

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• 16:02Matt McCusker?

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• 16:20Speaker 02

  Yeah. No, it would be cool to have one of those situations where you're like fighting off like a life or death situation. You just hope somebody's capturing it on video.

• 16:28Matt McCusker?

  I, I pray for it every day.

• 16:30Speaker 01

  Dude, I, I touched giraffe the other day. They're like.

• 16:33Matt McCusker?

  Where were you at?

• 16:35Speaker 01

  It was a zoo.

• 16:36Matt McCusker?

  Were you feeding it?

• 16:37Speaker 01

  No, I was just, I just touched it. Just let me touch it. And I was like, this thing could beat the shit out of me.

• 16:44Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they're fucking massive. I'm, I'm for real not trying to one up you. I fed giraffes not too long ago. So sick.

• 16:51Speaker 02

  What do you feed them?

• 16:52Matt McCusker?

  You just get like, like plants. You hand them like a big thing of lettuce and they wrap their purple tongues around it and pop it out of your hand. It's pretty awesome.

• 17:02Matt McCusker?

  Dude, no, I was actually kinda scared of them too. I was like, these things are fucking massive. Can you imagine a horse, four times, maybe five times the size of a horse with just like a thirty foot neck?

• 17:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:13Matt McCusker?

  They're fucking terrifying in real life.

• 17:15Speaker 01

  A fucking Clydesdale with a dinosaur neck.

• 17:19Speaker 02

  The videos of them fighting are the funniest thing.

• 17:23Matt McCusker?

  How do they?

• 17:23Speaker 02

  You've never seen that? They just whip their necks at each other full speed. Dude, it looks like just all concussions in their fights. Just nothing but CTE in a giraffe fight.

• 17:34Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you would think they're chill, but yeah, apparently not.

• 17:36Speaker 02

  Nah, they get, yeah, they rumble.

• 17:38Matt McCusker?

  Nothing's really chill. Even plants battle. My yard, my garden's kinda wild right now and I'm watching plants fight. I'm watching a lemon bomb plant fight a sweet potato plant.

• 17:47Speaker 01

  Ooh, why? Why are they fighting?

• 17:48Matt McCusker?

  This is for space.

• 17:49Speaker 01

  Why can't they?

• 17:50Matt McCusker?

  Fighting for space and resources is, is a battle for survival.

• 17:53Speaker 01

  Do you, are you, uh, do you have like a regenerative garden where you like plant certain plants around other plant, like so they grow together or is this just a?

• 18:00Matt McCusker?

  I kinda do a Dr. Frankenstein's laboratory.

• 18:03Speaker 02

  This is my first year gardening, dude. It's, it's nice to experiment. I got okra, uh, onions, uh, zucchini, green beans, tomatoes, basil and mint.

• 18:13Matt McCusker?

  Oh, so you got a big old garden here?

• 18:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:15Matt McCusker?

  What, so what do you do with okra? What is that like a bean kinda thing?

• 18:18Speaker 02

  I don't know. I had fried okra once in Alabama and I liked it. And now I'm growing a bunch of it and everyone's like, that shit sucks. Why are you doing that?

• 18:25Speaker 01

  Okra sucks. It's slimy.

• 18:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't know what I'm gonna do with it.

• 18:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, get rid of it.

• 18:29Matt McCusker?

  That's the one prop here. They're like, you can grow okra in the summer. I was like, nah, you can grow sweet potatoes in the summer too.

• 18:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, sweet potatoes are nice. I'm doing garlic. Uh, once I pull everything up, I'm gonna put garlic in in October and then you grow it through the winter and then hopefully pull it up in May.

• 18:42Matt McCusker?

  It's awesome. I, I grew garlic. Garlic's one of the best things to grow. And dude, it's, it is actually kinda fucked up. Like when you grow your own, when you start to grow even like a little bit of your own food, the stuff in the grocery store is dead. Like compared to what you eat when you grow it. It, it doesn't, it, well, first of all, I think, uh, like store bought like greens, they lose like sixty, seventy percent of their like vitamin C within like two weeks of sitting on the shelf. I think even like a couple of days, they're, they're like, they lose so much shit.

• 19:10Speaker 02

  Well, it's like, if you pick a, if I pick a tomato from my garden, uh, I never put them in the fridge. I'll just sit it on the windowsill in the kitchen and it's good for like a week to like ten days. If I buy a tomato from the store and put it in my fridge, it dies within forty-eight hours. It's like moldy. It's like black. It looks like shit.

• 19:28Matt McCusker?

  Well, it's been sitting there for fucking like, the time it takes to pick stuff, sort it out, truck it over, set it up in the store, like come from the warehouse to a store. It's just really old.

• 19:38Speaker 02

  Yeah. My dad was trying to tell me that, uh, clams have to be eaten the day you, you pull them or they're like no good. And I was like, well, that's like impossible because it's fucking, you live in the middle of New York state where there's not clams for like six hundred miles. He was like, no, I'm telling you, man, that's what happens. And then I had to Google it for him and they do freeze clams.

• 19:57Speaker 01

  Well, yeah. Freeze drive.

• 19:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he looked like a big fucking.

• 20:00Speaker 02

  He looked like a fucking idiot.

• 20:02Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 20:03Speaker 02

  A son of.

• 20:04Matt McCusker?

  So they, do the clams die when you freeze them?

• 20:07Speaker 01

  No, it's like, it's like.

• 20:10Matt McCusker?

  Like Walt Disney?

• 20:10Speaker 02

  I think, yeah, yeah. They're like alligators.

• 20:13Matt McCusker?

  That's probably, I wonder if they do that for oysters too. Cause I always wondered that. I'm like, how the fuck are they getting these oysters over here?

• 20:18Speaker 02

  Right. It doesn't even make sense for a person in Nebraska to have ever tried an oyster.

• 20:23Matt McCusker?

  I know.

• 20:23Speaker 02

  Unless they're cryogenically Walt Disney.

• 20:26Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 20:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:27Matt McCusker?

  They have to be, yeah.

• 20:28Speaker 01

  Unless you got a really like cool plane, you know?

• 20:32Matt McCusker?

  There's no way.

• 20:34Matt McCusker?

  That's why lobster's market price, they fucking dropped it in on like a heli bag.

• 20:40Speaker 02

  They're like the Toy Story toy soldiers.

• 20:41Matt McCusker?

  That's where all of our seafood comes from. It lands on the top of a children's hospital. They just ground all the other planes. They're like, hold on, we're bringing seafood to an upscale steakhouse. Everyone wait.

• 20:53Matt McCusker?

  Just kids on fucking ventilators is waiting.

• 20:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, load up the chopper.

• 20:59Matt McCusker?

  Drop its fucking seafood.

• 21:03Matt McCusker?

  What's it say?

• 21:05Speaker 03

  It seems to me, this is just chat G P P, but it seems to me that the clams and oysters aren't dead when they're being transported. They're just, they're still alive, but they're frozen.

• 21:16Matt McCusker?

  Okay, so they live during the freeze.

• 21:18Speaker 03

  Disney, I guess, but.

• 21:20Matt McCusker?

  Got you.

• 21:20Speaker 03

  They're not dead, because when they die, they taste.

• 21:23Matt McCusker?

  They're bad. Yeah, they're bad. So they are. I mean, I've said it already before. When you eat an oyster, oysters are alive.

• 21:27Speaker 01

  Dude, Ian, uh, Ian for Dance has a show on YouTube.

• 21:31Matt McCusker?

  Huh?

• 21:31Speaker 01

  Ian for Dance has a show on YouTube called Ian Do, where he like.

• 21:34Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 21:34Speaker 01

  He was shucking oysters for one, and you could like, it was crazy, because like, the guy would like shake it, and he'd be like, dead. That one's alive. Like, you just hear him.

• 21:43Matt McCusker?

  That's kinda cool.

• 21:44Speaker 02

  Clam, clams, uh, move around with their tongues.

• 21:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:47Speaker 02

  I think that's mad interesting. They'd just be licking the sand and like pushing themselves along with their tongues.

• 21:52Matt McCusker?

  Fucking.

• 21:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:53Speaker 01

  Projectile.

• 21:53Speaker 02

  Cause I always wondered that you see a clam and you go, how the fuck did that guy move at all?

• 21:57Matt McCusker?

  That's just his tongue.

• 21:58Speaker 02

  It's just his tongue.

• 21:59Speaker 01

  The ones that are like, is that a clam?

• 22:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, clams do be like that.

• 22:03Matt McCusker?

  Although, think about, not that, not that I, obviously, I don't, I haven't eaten pussy in like thirty years, but. I just don't do it, it's just, you know.

• 22:12Speaker 02

  Nah, I feel you.

• 22:13Matt McCusker?

  I wish I could hold it down like that. I, I get so jealous of guys that are like, absolutely not. I wish I had that in me. I think my car would be cleaner somehow. If I didn't, if I refused to eat pussy on principle, I'd probably have a clean car.

• 22:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, everything else is in order.

• 22:28Matt McCusker?

  It's related, it's related. Eating, I mean, everyone here, I guess, eats pussy, right?

• 22:32Speaker 02

  I eat pussy, yeah.

• 22:33Matt McCusker?

  Sean, yes?

• 22:36Speaker 02

  I'm a fan of the stuff.

• 22:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 22:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, can't get enough.

• 22:39Matt McCusker?

  I do it just for, I do them at this point just for fun.

• 22:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:43Matt McCusker?

  You know what I mean? I'm not even like trying anymore. I just, I just do it, it's just, I just think it's fun.

• 22:47Speaker 03

  Talking about eating clams?

• 22:48Matt McCusker?

  Come on, exactly. That's a crazy thing. Clams get about by their tongues.

• 22:55Speaker 02

  I, I did take a stand against it for a while.

• 22:58Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 22:58Speaker 02

  Eating pussy. I don't know. I did have like a, I'd say like eight month stretch where I was like big against the stuff, anti.

• 23:04Matt McCusker?

  So what, what, what, what kinda brought that about?

• 23:07Speaker 02

  Just trying to seem cool. I don't know. It was like, just trying to be against the establishment.

• 23:11Matt McCusker?

  How, how did, how did, uh, did you, so you came up against a woman, you refused on principle, how did they, how did they take that?

• 23:18Speaker 02

  She was actually pretty cool with it.

• 23:20Matt McCusker?

  I think you think she respected it.

• 23:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:21Matt McCusker?

  But here's the, here's the thing, women think their vaginas are disgusting.

• 23:25Speaker 02

  Right.

• 23:25Matt McCusker?

  So if you're like, I'm not doing that, they're like, yeah. It's like a guy's butthole. They, they're like, yeah, for sure. Totally understandable.

• 23:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:33Matt McCusker?

  They really think that they're, they're like, at least in my experience, I feel like they're always just like, oh, don't, it's, it's not good down. It's like, you don't know how nasty I am. And it's never that bad. If it's, if it's really, it's, it's the ones who's where, where it's.

• 23:45Speaker 02

  Do you get your ass ate?

• 23:46Matt McCusker?

  No, I don't, never.

• 23:48Speaker 02

  No.

• 23:49Matt McCusker?

  No, never. I've gotten like, I've gotten the area tickled before, but.

• 23:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:52Matt McCusker?

  It's never, I, I don't, I would never really want someone digging in my asshole. My asshole is a fucking disaster.

• 23:58Speaker 02

  I've never had my actual asshole ate, but a nice like gooch lick. It's, I'm like, you can go a little further south. I ain't gonna stop you, you know what I mean?

• 24:05Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I don't know that I would stop it either, but I, I don't know, man. It's, it's really, you gotta get me on a good day.

• 24:10Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 24:11Matt McCusker?

  Summertime, no, there's not a day in the summer I could have my ass eaten.

• 24:15Speaker 01

  Your gooch, she's nasty as hell, dude. That's the sweatiest part of your body.

• 24:18Matt McCusker?

  Your gooch?

• 24:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:20Matt McCusker?

  You think so?

• 24:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's the sweatiest part of your body.

• 24:22Speaker 02

  My forehead gets pretty sweaty.

• 24:24Speaker 01

  Not sweeter than your gooch. It's all, it's in jeans all day.

• 24:27Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, your gooch is sweaty.

• 24:28Speaker 02

  Although, my gooch definitely smells worse, for sure.

• 24:31Speaker 01

  My aunt Peaches told me this thing, how to know if a girl doesn't love you. If she like, uh, my aunt Peaches, she like saying, if she sucks your dick, and, uh, she like, she like, uh, licks the part in between your dick and your balls right there, she's, she doesn't love you.

• 24:46Matt McCusker?

  Why?

• 24:47Speaker 01

  She, she's a trick. I think it's a trick trick.

• 24:50Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 24:51Speaker 02

  It's a trick trick?

• 24:51Speaker 01

  It's a trick trick.

• 24:52Matt McCusker?

  So she told you that?

• 24:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:54Matt McCusker?

  Tricks of the trades. It's like a woman licks below your balls.

• 24:57Speaker 01

  Not below your balls.

• 24:58Speaker 02

  In between your penis and balls. See, here's the thing, mind connect right there. So there's really not a big in-between area.

• 25:04Matt McCusker?

  Wait, hold on. I'm confused now. She's saying the, like, she's saying basically the underside of your shaft?

• 25:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:10Speaker 02

  No, that's good stuff. That's fair game.

• 25:13Speaker 01

  No, I'm telling you, that she's telling me it's the trick trick.

• 25:17Matt McCusker?

  To hit the underside. First of all, how she know? No offense.

• 25:21Speaker 01

  I know how she knows. I know my aunt Peaches, dude. You don't know my aunt Peaches. She's wild.

• 25:25Speaker 02

  Aunt Peaches knows.

• 25:26Speaker 01

  Peaches has a hoo.

• 25:28Matt McCusker?

  So you're saying, so here's, here's the balls, here's the penis, man, whatever, but like.

• 25:34Matt McCusker?

  You're saying where the penis and balls merge, if you lick that part, you're getting attacked by a trick?

• 25:39Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. It's a trick trick.

• 25:40Matt McCusker?

  So she even talk about subballs? It was, I'd be curious here.

• 25:43Speaker 01

  She didn't say anything subballs.

• 25:45Matt McCusker?

  Got you. That probably wasn't even a thing back then.

• 25:47Speaker 01

  Yeah. My aunt Peaches is crazy.

• 25:51Matt McCusker?

  But why, why would that be such a, I don't understand why that would be, ah.

• 25:54Speaker 02

  I don't think that's a problem at all.

• 25:55Speaker 01

  Untouched.

• 25:56Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's, it's ignored.

• 25:58Speaker 01

  And it's just like, it's probably the most sensitive part of the dick, honestly.

• 26:01Matt McCusker?

  How? It's the least.

• 26:03Speaker 02

  No, yeah, the head is the sensitive part, yeah.

• 26:05Speaker 01

  I don't know, man. You got, yeah, you gotta get tricked.

• 26:11Matt McCusker?

  I think Aunt Peaches might be like a forty year old virgin. It sounds like, you know, like the best part, like the bottom here, the balls is like super sensitive.

• 26:18Speaker 01

  Aunt Peaches is wild, dude. She said she loves sap. She's.

• 26:23Speaker 02

  What's sap?

• 26:24Matt McCusker?

  Ew, dude.

• 26:26Speaker 02

  Come? She calls it sap?

• 26:28Speaker 01

  She calls it sap. She's like, it's good for your skin. I was like.

• 26:34Speaker 01

  That's how Peaches talks.

• 26:37Speaker 02

  Out there tapping the trees?

• 26:39Matt McCusker?

  How, how would these conversations come about? Would this be like a?

• 26:42Speaker 01

  We're at Thanksgiving, and then like, uh, it's like Thanksgiving or something.

• 26:46Matt McCusker?

  You're talking sap over the turn.

• 26:50Speaker 02

  My, my aunts have never told me about their love for sap. This is nuts.

• 26:54Speaker 01

  No, Peaches rules.

• 26:57Matt McCusker?

  You gotta ask them how much they love sap.

• 27:00Matt McCusker?

  My friend's Aunt Peaches was talking sap the other day.

• 27:03Speaker 01

  I brought it up to my mom. I was like, mom, Peaches talked about how much she loves sap. And my mom was like, uh-uh.

• 27:11Speaker 01

  She did that to you too.

• 27:15Matt McCusker?

  She might be fishing. That might be some sap fishing.

• 27:17Speaker 01

  No, not for me.

• 27:18Matt McCusker?

  Not for me. I wouldn't put smut on her like that, but that's. But, I mean, it's one thing to talk about the medicinal properties of sap. I've tried to, I've tried to, uh, promote those as well. My babe, I'm like, yo, I think they're like good for you.

• 27:34Speaker 02

  I mean, that is, uh, that is folklore. They're like, ladies, they get combed on a lot or sapped on a lot. They get a, they got good skin.

• 27:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:42Speaker 02

  Supposed to be a good skincare.

• 27:43Matt McCusker?

  Folklore.

• 27:44Speaker 02

  I wouldn't know.

• 27:44Matt McCusker?

  I, dude, and again, this could be, it could be fake, but I, I thought I saw a study saying like, if women who ingest it, it helps them with stuff. Cause it contains testosterone or something, a bunch of vitamins.

• 27:55Speaker 02

  Probably helps them with everything, honestly.

• 27:57Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 27:57Speaker 02

  Probably good for like everything.

• 27:59Matt McCusker?

  Driving. Yeah.

• 28:03Speaker 02

  It's a G L P one.

• 28:06Speaker 02

  My sap got it was epic in it.

• 28:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I've, I've tried to promote the sap, but not trying to hear it.

• 28:17Speaker 01

  You gotta get her to talk to Peaches.

• 28:18Speaker 02

  I used to, uh, I used to participate in a little bit of, uh, internet trick trick, where I never, I was never pimping for real, but I, I did a little thing. I had like a six month stint where I was rubbing oil on tits on OnlyFans. And, uh, but it was, it was the best time of my life, because it was like, I'd just gotten fired.

• 28:35Matt McCusker?

  Did you walk away from that job, TV? One day I didn't show up.

• 28:41Matt McCusker?

  Well, wait, so you got fired, and then you started rubbing oil on tits and all that?

• 28:44Speaker 02

  It all worked out perfect, but, um.

• 28:46Matt McCusker?

  I would say.

• 28:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, this, this lady hit me up, and she was like, hey, I need like help doing, uh, like camera work for my OnlyFans. Can you help me out? And I was like, I'm not gonna like put my dick on the internet. That'd be crazy. She was like, no, it's not that. All you have to do is like, so I would set up a ring light, and then I'd just be fucking massaging oil into tits.

• 29:03Matt McCusker?

  Easy.

• 29:03Speaker 02

  But, yeah, I forget why I said that, but it was, it was a good industry. She paid me six hundred dollars a week for like six months.

• 29:09Matt McCusker?

  What? What, dude, who was this guy who replaced you? I would have killed him.

• 29:13Speaker 02

  I don't know. Um, well, she wanted to like make it like a thing. She wanted to like date.

• 29:18Matt McCusker?

  Trying to, she was trying to entice you into her life.

• 29:20Speaker 02

  And she was like, you only come over when you're getting your money and rubbing oil on tits. And I go, that was the fucking agreement.

• 29:25Matt McCusker?

  And also, understandably so.

• 29:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:29Matt McCusker?

  Also too, I, I'd be nervous to date an OnlyFans lady, because they could for sure just film you one day.

• 29:34Speaker 02

  Right.

• 29:34Matt McCusker?

  Hey, it's over.

• 29:35Speaker 02

  Well, oh, that's, all right, so actually.

• 29:37Matt McCusker?

  You know, you're on soft white underbelly being like, yeah, I've been in the adult sex industry now for five months, uh.

• 29:42Speaker 02

  When I, when I stopped working for, um, a, a friend of mine, Rob Cruz, he was subscribed to her OnlyFans, and I didn't know that. He goes, yo, did you stop working with, uh, what's her name on OnlyFans? And I go, how the fuck did you know I was doing that? He's like, dude, I knew it was you. You do weird shit with your hands. And I was like, that's crazy. For six months, Rob was just watching my hands and beating off.

• 30:02Matt McCusker?

  Damn.

• 30:04Speaker 02

  I'm good enough to him, but.

• 30:05Speaker 01

  That's a good friend.

• 30:06Speaker 02

  I still love Rob, yeah. He did nothing wrong.

• 30:08Matt McCusker?

  Ladies whose tits you were rubbing developed feelings for you.

• 30:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:12Matt McCusker?

  And then she wanted you to be her lover and OnlyFans.

• 30:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:14Matt McCusker?

  And her co-star.

• 30:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:16Matt McCusker?

  You should have taken her OnlyFans over and cut her out of it.

• 30:18Speaker 02

  Did, yeah.

• 30:21Matt McCusker?

  That would have been dastardly.

• 30:22Speaker 01

  You've got like three OnlyFans girlfriends.

• 30:25Matt McCusker?

  Really? How's this coming about?

• 30:26Speaker 02

  Only two.

• 30:27Speaker 01

  Only two?

• 30:27Speaker 02

  Um, but.

• 30:30Matt McCusker?

  Really? How's this coming about?

• 30:35Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 30:36Matt McCusker?

  What kind of circles are you running in?

• 30:38Speaker 02

  The same circles you're running in, man. We know all the same guys.

• 30:41Matt McCusker?

  I've never even, never even heard of these.

• 30:42Speaker 02

  We know all the same people.

• 30:43Matt McCusker?

  Never even heard of these. I know zero OnlyFans models.

• 30:46Speaker 02

  No, you know one for sure.

• 30:47Speaker 01

  You know one for sure.

• 30:49Matt McCusker?

  Oh, I think I know who you're talking about.

• 30:52Matt McCusker?

  The secret filmer?

• 30:54Speaker 02

  Maybe, no, that was a different one.

• 30:55Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 30:56Matt McCusker?

  I guess I do know. Wait, I do know. Okay, I only know one I know of. Whatever, I don't know.

• 31:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't know.

• 31:02Matt McCusker?

  We'll talk, we'll chat later.

• 31:04Speaker 02

  That one, I was never like involved in any of the stuff, though. That was just her kinda doing like solo shit. And I'd be like, you go make your money, baby. I'm gonna sit in your king sized bed and watch your HBO Max, which I don't have at my house.

• 31:18Matt McCusker?

  And so you are, so you're, hold on, do you connect that loosely to your head as like kinda pimpin? Cause you said I wasn't pimpin'.

• 31:25Speaker 02

  No, well, I think the first one where you're like, uh.

• 31:28Matt McCusker?

  That's a crazy, if you're, you can't claim pimpin'.

• 31:30Speaker 02

  No, no, no. Oh, I think the first one was more like, I was at least involved in it, but it was like, no, it was never. Yeah, I was performer. I was never pimpin'.

• 31:37Matt McCusker?

  Talent.

• 31:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, I never claimed pimpin'.

• 31:38Speaker 01

  You're on there.

• 31:39Matt McCusker?

  I know, but you said this wasn't pimpin'. I don't know, what did pimpin' have to do with it?

• 31:43Speaker 02

  They were pimpin'. I think if you're, yeah, true.

• 31:47Speaker 02

  I think anything where you're like making money off a woman who's doing like sexual acts could be deceived that way. I don't know.

• 31:53Matt McCusker?

  Not if you're the oil boy.

• 31:55Speaker 02

  Right.

• 32:01Speaker 02

  The oil boy is crazy.

• 32:03Matt McCusker?

  Bro, you're not cold enough for this pimpin' life, bro.

• 32:07Matt McCusker?

  I could never pimp. I really could never pimp.

• 32:09Speaker 02

  I wasn't made for it, dude. I was not gonna. I ain't cold enough.

• 32:12Speaker 01

  You gotta bring the ice, dude. You gotta be the ice guy, too.

• 32:15Speaker 02

  The ice guy.

• 32:16Speaker 01

  You're like, nipples not hard enough.

• 32:18Matt McCusker?

  That's why Iceberg Slim, Iceberg Slim got his nickname. He used to shoot coke and it made him the coldest motherfucker. He would just shoot coke and just be cold hoes.

• 32:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:27Matt McCusker?

  Bitch. His scams to get women to like, he would call like just hump it. You get, you get one bottom bitch and you get her and you're building, I think it's called a chili pimp. You only have one hoe. You're just a little, you're a low down chili pimp. So what you do is you have your bottom bitch, she's humping it pretty good for you, but you need more money. So then you start writing letters to yourself and spraying them with perfume and you tell her you got another bitch upstate.

• 32:49Speaker 02

  Now you're an Applebee's pimp.

• 32:50Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, well, you're faking the funk. So you're going, you're, you're like sending yourself money and act like, acting like you're doing Western unions yourself.

• 32:56Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 32:57Matt McCusker?

  And you're tricking your bottom bitch, which is kinda fucked up as your bottom bitch, but you start being like, I got this other bitch upstate. She's making double what your worthless ass is making. Then you just start like ruthlessly beating her with a clothes hanger. And then it motivates her to be, to outdo this other lady who doesn't exist.

• 33:12Speaker 02

  Right.

• 33:12Matt McCusker?

  And then she makes you enough money so you can actually get another bitch.

• 33:15Speaker 01

  And not only is it close, this is a nineteen forties, fifties wire clothes hanger. Shit hurts.

• 33:24Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he was, he was a ruthless guy. I still, his autobiography might be one of the best books. I mean, it's fucking evil, but it's one of the best books. Pimp by Iceberg Slim. All right, this episode is brought to you by Mint Mobile.

• 33:37Speaker 02

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• 33:37Matt McCusker?

  Mint took what's wrong with wireless and made it right with premium wireless for fifteen bucks a month.

• 33:44Speaker 02

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• 33:54Matt McCusker?

  Upfront payment of forty-five dollars for three months, ninety dollars for six months, or one hundred and eighty dollars for twelve months. Plan required, fifteen dollars per month equivalent, taxes and fees extra. Initial plan term only, greater than fifty gigabytes may slow when network is busy, includes up to twenty gigabytes of hotspot. Capable devices required. Availability, speed and coverage varies. See mintmobile.com.

• 34:13Speaker 02

  Incredible.

• 34:14Matt McCusker?

  This episode is brought to you by Nutraful.

• 34:16Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 34:17Matt McCusker?

  Nutraful.

• 34:18Speaker 02

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• 34:19Matt McCusker?

  A pity that Nutraful.

• 34:20Speaker 02

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• 34:37Matt McCusker?

  It's one hundred percent vegan, biotin free, and comes in a smaller capsule size to make your daily routine easier. I can't get enough of this stuff.

• 34:46Speaker 02

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• 35:09Matt McCusker?

  But guys, please, please, please, I beg of you, I'll be doing stand up, uh, August seventh and August eighth, San Jose, California. Come on, guys, ticket sales. Ooh, boy. Now everywhere else is looking decent, but San Jose, California. I get it. It's not great. It's summertime. Um, but if you wanna come, come. August thirteenth and fourteenth, Spokane, Washington. Then I'll be in Portland, Maine, Boston, Massachusetts, Royal Oak, Michigan, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Charlotte, Jacksonville, Atlanta, Chattanooga, Chattanooga, Fort Lauderdale, Tampa, Orlando, and a bunch of other places, guys. Go to mattmccusker.com to get tickets. I'll be touring all through December.

• 35:49Speaker 02

  I'm in Columbus, Ohio, August thirteenth, Janesville, Wisconsin, August fourteenth and fifteenth, and a big show in Philadelphia next in line, August seventh. So please pull up to any of those, uh, Denver, Denver in September.

• 36:04Speaker 02

  What? Oh, yeah. And, uh, we'll creek in the cave tonight. Put the time machine on, let's go. And, uh, check out Do Rag and the Deer Tag and Digital Bazooka. Love you guys. Thank you.

• 36:13Speaker 03

  Hey, guys, it's Sean Gardini in.

• 36:15Speaker 01

  Lemaire Lee.

• 36:16Speaker 03

  Uh, me, Sean Gardini. I'll be at Good Nights Comedy Club, Thursday, August twenty-seventh, and then Charleston, South Carolina, Witsen. Uh, August twenty-eighth through, and the twenty-ninth. So please come to that. Please come to Optimum Noctis Joke World Fest. Please, please. Thank you. And Lemaire Lee.

• 36:35Speaker 01

  Hey, I'll be in Savannah, Georgia, July thirty-first, uh, Harrisburg, Boston, Bridgewater, Vermont, Portland, Maine, The Bell House in Brooklyn, Dojo Comedy Joke World Fest. Please come hang out, you guys. It's gonna be a lot of fun. All right. Thank you, guys, for listening. Have a good night.

• 36:50Speaker 02

  How many, uh, so how many did he end up getting?

• 36:53Matt McCusker?

  He had a whole, he had a whole gaggle of hoes.

• 36:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:55Matt McCusker?

  He had a whole, he had a whole bunch of hoes. Eventually, once he got that bottom bitch humping for him for real, and he got enough money to get himself a nice car, then he got a lot of the hoes. And then once you, it's like, they're like magnets. Once you have two hoes, getting the third one's easier, then the fourth one's easier.

• 37:09Speaker 02

  Right.

• 37:09Matt McCusker?

  But going from one to two, that's the real.

• 37:11Speaker 02

  That's tough, yeah.

• 37:12Matt McCusker?

  That's a real pimp's quest.

• 37:13Speaker 02

  They always say making your first million is the hardest.

• 37:15Matt McCusker?

  Hey, that's exactly like.

• 37:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's, that's how I've heard. I've only, I've only ever personally read about pimpin'.

• 37:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:24Matt McCusker?

  But I knew a guy who was like hanging out with a pimp, which was weird. It was like this dude I knew. Yeah, he just got on the drugs and he was just like, and I could tell because we were hanging out. He's like, dude, I've been hanging out with this guy. He's a pimp, but he's pretty cool. And I was like, okay, you're definitely back on drugs.

• 37:38Speaker 02

  Dude, Naeem's cousin is a pimp and he brought him to Raven Lounge one time.

• 37:41Matt McCusker?

  I kinda remember hearing about that.

• 37:43Speaker 02

  And he, uh, he was just outside like telling my boy Ben Staub, who I, very funny comic that I used to live with. He, uh, this guy was just outside raving, telling Ben, he's like, yo, you trying to get your dick sucked tonight? And Ben's like, fuck, yeah, I am. And then the guy's like, all right, I'll be right back. And he brought this prostitute up to Ben and like expected Ben to give him like three hundred bucks. Ben's like, what? I'm not, I don't like three hundred. The guy went and got Naeem. He's like, yo, you gotta get your fucking man before he gets smoked out here. Like, he was gonna kill Ben for the offer of a.

• 38:12Matt McCusker?

  Just for being honest, like obviously I wanna get my dick sucked tonight. I thought we were just broing dad. Also, it kinda sucks. If a guy comes up like, you trying to get your dick sucked? They'd be like, what's it to you, brother? Fucking none of your business.

• 38:23Speaker 02

  Well, Ben, Ben was like a young man at the time. I think he was like twenty-two, twenty-three. So he was like just bright eyed, bushy tailed, new to the city.

• 38:31Matt McCusker?

  It's like Pinocchio. Yes, sir, I'd love to get fellatio. Yes, sir, I'd love to get my penis sucked. Do you too?

• 38:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, like I was like, I'll fucking kill you. Don't give me money.

• 38:45Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you can't. We did that, uh, our rugby team, we like, we're in DC and we called a prostitute to our coach's room. We thought it was funny, but that was apparently a thing. The pimp was outside and the pimp was none to please.

• 38:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're not cool at all.

• 38:58Matt McCusker?

  You can't just have hoes being driven around.

• 39:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:00Matt McCusker?

  Someone's gotta, we thought this was a funny prank, but he, our, our coach was fucking furious. Cause we, we basically incurred a pimp's wrath against him.

• 39:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:08Matt McCusker?

  He was just like, what the fuck are you guys doing? He was so mad. That guy was the best. He was the best.

• 39:14Speaker 02

  You could've got him killed.

• 39:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you should've done that. We were, we, when we saw, I'll never forget, it was me and like four or five other people on my team, just watching the car pull up and these two women who are obviously prostitutes get out. We were just like, oh my god. He was fucking angry.

• 39:31Speaker 02

  I, I remember when Backpage was popping. This is in like twenty fourteen to like sixteen. That was my Backpage era.

• 39:37Matt McCusker?

  Didn't Trump shut it down?

• 39:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:38Matt McCusker?

  Or Trump's, uh, Trump's admin shut down Backpages.

• 39:41Speaker 02

  They're shutting down, yeah, shut down around, around that time. Cause I think like twenty sixteen was the last time I was, uh.

• 39:48Matt McCusker?

  Definitely wasn't Obama's freaky ass.

• 39:49Speaker 02

  On the page.

• 39:52Speaker 02

  It was, uh, it was such a cool time. Cause like you'd get on this website and it was like Craigslist. And then you'd buy it and then the person would show up and they, almost every time looked nothing like they did in the pictures. And you go, well, I'm already here and I know there's a guy with a gun in the parking lot. I kinda got it. Who am I to complain right now?

• 40:09Matt McCusker?

  True. But you're letting me not be rude.

• 40:12Speaker 02

  Dude, we.

• 40:13Matt McCusker?

  I don't wanna be rude.

• 40:14Speaker 02

  We had this lady come, uh, cause my friends from upstate New York, they used to come down and see me all the time in Philly. Because Backpage was a thing and they were like, we're gonna just come down for a weekend, chill at Drew's apartment.

• 40:27Speaker 02

  So my friends would come down and, uh, they, I'd let them all like sleep on the couch or whatever. It'd be like a car full of bros just coming down to get Backpage pussy. And I remember one time my friend Casey, he, uh, they had an early flight out of the Philly airport. So this lady came over and whatever it happened. And I went out in my living room the next day and all the bros were gone. And there were two, uh, footprints on my ceiling, like muddy shoe prints on the ceiling. And I called Casey and I'll go, cause I know he was the one that fucked the lady in the living room. I go, how the fuck did you guys get footprints on my ceiling? He just started laughing hilariously and he hung up and he's still never told me. I don't know, I don't know how it happened.

• 41:09Speaker 02

  Like a standing sixty-nine or something.

• 41:11Matt McCusker?

  How high are your ceilings?

• 41:12Speaker 02

  They maybe like eight foot, but like, I don't know if you'd get her up on, yeah, they were a little shorter than these ones.

• 41:18Matt McCusker?

  That's crazy.

• 41:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was still like, I have no idea what sex move could have been done where a woman's feet hit the ceiling.

• 41:25Speaker 01

  May I suggest a move?

• 41:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:29Speaker 01

  You got him up like here, but to keep her balanced, she has boots on, cause she's not quite tall enough to have her hands.

• 41:35Speaker 02

  But what are you, you're eating her ass from behind while she's.

• 41:38Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I don't even, I don't even believe this. There's, there's no way.

• 41:41Speaker 01

  You powerbomb position. She's up here.

• 41:43Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, but from what on top? You'd have to be on a bunk bed, dude.

• 41:47Speaker 01

  No, I'm saying you hold her up.

• 41:53Speaker 01

  Like you're standing up.

• 41:54Speaker 03

  Bro, I like, I like the dirty work boots that she has on in this.

• 42:04Matt McCusker?

  I think this shoes probably got thrown at the ceiling.

• 42:06Speaker 02

  That's honestly, the more I think about it, like the older I get, I'm like, it had to have been that and they're fucking with me.

• 42:11Speaker 01

  But wait, did it look like this? Like, were they like both in a row?

• 42:15Speaker 02

  They were right next to each other where feet would be.

• 42:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, so that's like, that's like the throw.

• 42:19Speaker 02

  Unless he like went up there and like stamped them and was like, this will be funny.

• 42:23Matt McCusker?

  It seems more likely. There's no way he got back page pussy that high off the ground.

• 42:29Matt McCusker?

  They're, they're terrestrial creatures, dude. They're not fucking, they're not acrobats.

• 42:34Speaker 02

  Cirque du Soleil.

• 42:38Matt McCusker?

  They can get out of like a car and like walk in a semi-straight line to a front door. That's about as, it's about as far as.

• 42:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, I didn't even think about that. They're not aerial at all.

• 42:45Matt McCusker?

  No, not whatsoever.

• 42:47Speaker 02

  So you tried to do what for eighty dollars?

• 42:51Speaker 02

  The fucking air.

• 42:52Matt McCusker?

  You have to talk to the fucking hunter Biden for pussy like that.

• 42:55Speaker 02

  You go out to the pimp, you're like, you mind if I lift her up in the air?

• 42:59Matt McCusker?

  Truly, yeah, the pimp will get all OSHA on you. Like you can't get her four feet off the ground.

• 43:10Matt McCusker?

  That'd be Posh would be coming at you.

• 43:12Speaker 01

  It's purple.

• 43:13Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude, the, uh, that is very funny. Back page is incredibly funny. Shut down. Just got all shut down.

• 43:20Speaker 01

  You guys remember plenty of fish?

• 43:22Matt McCusker?

  Plenty of fats, I used to call it.

• 43:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, I remember plenty of fish.

• 43:27Matt McCusker?

  Plenty of fish was sweet.

• 43:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:29Matt McCusker?

  Because you know why? Because you could just chat. You could just be like, what up right away. And it would just generate like a text message.

• 43:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:36Speaker 02

  Plenty of fish was a, kind of like a Tinder before Tinder, right?

• 43:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, well, you could, you didn't, you could match, you could chat without matching, basically.

• 43:42Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 43:43Matt McCusker?

  So it was just like, it was, it was just a blank canvas. You could just, hey, hey, hey, hey. Rather than waiting for the match.

• 43:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was perfect. Craigslist.

• 43:51Matt McCusker?

  It kind of was.

• 43:54Speaker 02

  Just a lot of where you froms.

• 43:57Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, plenty, plenty of fish fucking kind of ruled, honestly.

• 43:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:00Matt McCusker?

  I liked plenty of fish.

• 44:01Speaker 02

  Well, there was one, uh, I saw a documentary about one of the dating sites where it was like for married people and they got exposed.

• 44:09Matt McCusker?

  Oh, Ashley Madison.

• 44:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 44:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, that seemed like a.

• 44:12Matt McCusker?

  That was like the affair, the affair dating site. I, I went on a plenty of, I think it was a plenty of fish date one time and then I like, it was truly like, I mean, there's obviously people look a little different than their pictures. This person must have gained like eighty pounds. Like they were unrecognizably obese and I, and I like showed up at their parents' house.

• 44:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:31Matt McCusker?

  So I was gonna be fucking rude. So I was like, yeah, come on, let's go. And we had, we just like drove around all night and like ate pizza. It was up in like, it was like a fucked up area.

• 44:40Speaker 01

  Sounds like a pretty good date, though.

• 44:41Matt McCusker?

  It was, it honestly, honestly was pretty chill. She took me through, what is it? Huntington Park, I think.

• 44:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:47Matt McCusker?

  And was just like showing me all the streetwalkers and still like, this is nothing but streetwalkers up here at nighttime. We just like watched the streetwalkers. Pretty cool. We sat in my car and just chatted.

• 44:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:57Matt McCusker?

  Did a shot like with her family before I left and I was like, this is fucking crazy.

• 45:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:01Matt McCusker?

  She was big.

• 45:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:04Matt McCusker?

  A big lady and I was, it was almost such, it was such a different picture that I almost respected it. I was like, all right, this is, you pulled a caper on me.

• 45:13Speaker 02

  Dude, yeah, I've gotten one of those too where you, you show up and they're like.

• 45:16Speaker 01

  Lady, it's old man Jenkins.

• 45:20Matt McCusker?

  Wasn't even going for hot. I was going for like pretty run of the mill.

• 45:23Speaker 02

  You pulled the Scooby Doo mask off her?

• 45:27Speaker 02

  I would have got away with it if it wasn't for you meddling kids.

• 45:30Matt McCusker?

  I, I didn't, dude, I didn't have the heart to in front of the family. I was like, come on, let's go, babe. Let's, let's get out of here.

• 45:36Speaker 02

  I had one of those one time with, this, I stopped using like Tinder and all that shit years ago because I was just never good at it. I'm not good at like, even if I matched with somebody, I don't know what to say.

• 45:45Speaker 01

  It's a fucking game.

• 45:46Matt McCusker?

  See, that was my, my, my way with words was my strongest.

• 45:49Speaker 02

  No, I'm better.

• 45:51Matt McCusker?

  I used to love my, my mental games on Tinder were just, it was, no one stood a, I mean, most people stood a chance, but my, I would, I would always just send as a regular. I wouldn't try to overthink it, be like, hey, or whatever. They didn't respond. I would go, you have seventy-two hours to respond before I fall into the arms of another.

• 46:08Speaker 01

  Oh, dude, I got a, I got a friend, uh, he's black, uh, he, he has a, he has a thing when he matched with white girls on Tinder. He'd go, what about Jasmine? And they'd be like, what's that? And then he'd go, the name of our daughter.

• 46:24Matt McCusker?

  I would do, I would do nothing but mind games the whole time. Just be like, dude, honestly, I, I wouldn't even, I would go, I am, I'm grieving the fact that we're not hanging out and I just, I'll be here, but not forever. I won't wait forever for you.

• 46:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:37Matt McCusker?

  My heart can only take so, and I would just say the dumbest shit.

• 46:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:41Matt McCusker?

  And it worked. And it's dude, honestly, I remember Tinder, you would get nothing, nothing, nothing. And then right around Thursday, Friday, that's when women start having their wine after work. It's a little like, and then they start, then all the responses came right around like this, almost the same time. I'd be like, oh, the, the old yuppie, the old yuppies are getting brave.

• 46:58Speaker 01

  Like the girl minds just activated.

• 47:00Matt McCusker?

  The girl mind activates on like Thursday, Friday.

• 47:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:02Matt McCusker?

  They're, they can't even, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, they can't even. And then Thursday, they're like, Thursday, they go, hmm. And then Friday, they go, I think I'm gonna hang out with this guy. I, I swear to God, it's like a trend.

• 47:15Speaker 02

  No, you're right.

• 47:16Matt McCusker?

  They do like Center City sips. I'm doing Center City sips with my friend, talking to a guy on Tinder. Can't be bothered unless, I mean, I'm sure if you were like six foot seven, they'll respond. They talk to all the six foot five guys on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.

• 47:30Speaker 02

  Right?

• 47:32Matt McCusker?

  If none of them, then they reply, reply to the subhuman such as myself, sub six humans.

• 47:38Speaker 01

  The weekends are for sub six.

• 47:42Matt McCusker?

  I guess he's all right.

• 47:45Matt McCusker?

  They have wine goggles on Tinder, like, that's all right. He's an inch taller than me. He'll be fine. I won't wear tall heels. I went through my whole life not knowing height was a thing. Forgot like, I didn't know even women cared about height until I was like thirty-one.

• 47:59Speaker 02

  Really?

• 47:59Matt McCusker?

  Got through my whole life. I didn't, never even thought about it.

• 48:02Speaker 02

  How'd you, how'd you miss that?

• 48:04Matt McCusker?

  I just never even thought about it. It never, it never was brought to, but I mean, I'm, I'm like, I'm not super short, but I'm by no means tall at all.

• 48:11Speaker 02

  Right.

• 48:11Matt McCusker?

  And my whole family's like way taller than me too. But I never even like, it wasn't until I was on those apps where they're like, must be six feet and over. And I was like, the hell's that about?

• 48:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:22Matt McCusker?

  Looked into it. I'm like, oh, that's like a desirable trait. I didn't even, I just didn't know.

• 48:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's something to do with like dominance and being protected. I think ladies are stupid.

• 48:33Speaker 02

  It's all like ancestral shit.

• 48:35Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I, I think so. I think it is. I mean, tall guys, by the way, get paid more.

• 48:39Speaker 02

  Right.

• 48:39Matt McCusker?

  On average, tall guy, there's a, there's a, uh, height wage gap as well.

• 48:43Speaker 01

  About to get one of those knee surgeries.

• 48:47Matt McCusker?

  Limb lengthening?

• 48:50Matt McCusker?

  Fucking get paid so much.

• 48:53Speaker 02

  The problem with the limb lengthening surgeries, it's, it's a, they'll never figure out how to do it like proportionately.

• 48:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:59Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? If I had six more inches of legs, I think that would just make me look fucking weird.

• 49:05Speaker 02

  I'd be like, why is his torso net so small and arms like? I gotta go back a year later and do the arms and like.

• 49:12Matt McCusker?

  Six foot three with like a twenty-one inch.

• 49:14Speaker 02

  All legs. Yeah, I look like a giraffe with no neck.

• 49:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I, I think the most, I think you can only get like a couple inches at a time, probably.

• 49:21Speaker 01

  Like two, three.

• 49:22Speaker 02

  Pause, pause.

• 49:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you can only get like, yeah.

• 49:25Speaker 02

  A O.

• 49:25Matt McCusker?

  I don't think you could go like super, I mean, that'd be cool. I mean, I would just go full prosthetic at that point. It's like just metal fucking splints in my legs and it's coming back up.

• 49:33Speaker 02

  I think that'd be the move too, because then you can, uh, I don't know, there's so many like more lies you could get away with, with prosthetics. If you're just a guy with like goofy, long legs for no reason and scars, it'd be like, the fuck's wrong with him?

• 49:46Speaker 01

  Ideologically, I want wheels that turn into legs.

• 49:49Speaker 02

  Right.

• 49:51Matt McCusker?

  Hold on, you're trying to be a transformer?

• 49:55Speaker 02

  No, I feel, I said right, like I understood you and I do.

• 50:00Speaker 02

  I go, yeah.

• 50:00Matt McCusker?

  Lemerby optimist sub prime.

• 50:07Speaker 01

  I was just thinking about it. Do wheels?

• 50:09Matt McCusker?

  You want wheelies for feet.

• 50:11Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, because then like you could go fast, make it slow down.

• 50:14Matt McCusker?

  Bro, if you rolled up on a chick with, if you wheeled up, they would, they would fucking freak.

• 50:20Speaker 01

  But then like it transforms into legs?

• 50:22Matt McCusker?

  And then you, when you wheel up like regular stature and then you go,

• 50:27Matt McCusker?

  and then you just tower over.

• 50:30Speaker 01

  Shh.

• 50:32Speaker 02

  Naim, Naim asked me this the other day, and I think it's the greatest question I've ever been asked. Would you, uh, would you be five foot three for the rest of your life if you had Vince Carter's full dunk package?

• 50:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:45Speaker 02

  Like, you can do fucking three sixty under the legs, windmills.

• 50:48Speaker 01

  Stick my arm in there.

• 50:49Speaker 02

  But you're five three.

• 50:50Speaker 01

  How long do I have it for?

• 50:52Speaker 02

  Forever.

• 50:52Matt McCusker?

  Forever.

• 50:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know, you never lose it.

• 50:54Speaker 02

  You have the bunnies forever. Bunnies don't go anywhere.

• 50:57Speaker 01

  I'm going bunnies.

• 50:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:58Speaker 01

  I'm picking, but this is the easiest choice I've ever had to make.

• 51:00Speaker 02

  If I'm five three, just, ah, everything.

• 51:03Matt McCusker?

  I don't know. I would decline. I, I might decline that. I, I have, I'm gonna hit with a scenario. So if you, this is one I always think about. So if you were with, say you had a wife or a girlfriend, for every ten pounds she gains, it unlocks a new freaky act, like something you've never even thought of or done, how deep into the, how heavy would she get?

• 51:21Speaker 02

  Well, what else can?

• 51:24Matt McCusker?

  It's just mine. It's another mind blowing.

• 51:26Speaker 02

  It is a mind blower every time.

• 51:27Speaker 04

  How, where's she starting? Like, is she a slim, is she a slimy, or is she like kinda thick already?

• 51:32Speaker 01

  That's a good question.

• 51:33Matt McCusker?

  Let's say, let's say she's average weight, you know, like, let's say like just a little bit of a thickie, nothing crazy.

• 51:41Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 51:42Speaker 04

  Like, my question is though, like, what?

• 51:43Matt McCusker?

  It's a question is how deep would you go? If she could be skinny as hell and you would just keep going and going and going? Cause you wanna unlock the next level.

• 51:49Speaker 02

  Cause there, I guess there is infinite possibilities, but it's also like, I guess after like a woman who's now ten pounds heavier, eats my ass one time, am I gonna be like, now I gotta see what the next thing is? You know what I mean?

• 52:01Matt McCusker?

  I mean, it could be a double blowjob. She could invite a fat friend.

• 52:03Speaker 02

  All right, well then.

• 52:04Matt McCusker?

  So it would just, it's a whole universe of just.

• 52:08Speaker 04

  Have to be fat?

• 52:10Matt McCusker?

  Like, does the friend have to match the weight, or can you get herself freaky, she starts bringing hot chicks? That's up to your werewolf fat wife inside. I said, you don't know, that's the problem. It's literally Pandora's box.

• 52:20Speaker 02

  I think once she gains five hundred pounds, we're like fifty freaky acts into the substance, then that's when like the, the fine shit starts coming out. She brings around skinny hot chicks again.

• 52:31Speaker 01

  And does like, uh, and when like, uh, if you make, if you help her lose weight, does she like stop doing that act?

• 52:36Speaker 02

  Oh, damn.

• 52:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah, for every pound you go down. And it's just a one time thing. It's just like a new thing.

• 52:41Speaker 02

  No, cause if, if a lady just has loose skin and she's not a freak, then what's the point? You know what I mean? I'll keep her fat.

• 52:48Speaker 01

  That's a freaky act in itself.

• 52:50Speaker 04

  She could suffocate you with it.

• 52:51Speaker 02

  That'd be nice, yeah. Well, I guess, this is also the.

• 52:55Speaker 01

  You could kill like Superman, put nanobots down your throat.

• 52:58Speaker 02

  By the end of this scenario, I'm just gonna be in a gimp suit with a five hundred pound wife, so.

• 53:04Speaker 04

  Squish.

• 53:06Speaker 02

  I, dude, when I worked for Verizon, I did a door to door Verizon sales for a little bit, another job that I just quit and didn't tell anybody. But, um, I was doing, I met a dominatrix one time, and she told me that, uh, dude, she was like the biggest, ugliest, not being mean to ladies, but she was a rough looking woman. And, uh, she told me that she made like thousands of dollars a day, just like beating the shit out of CEOs and like sitting on them and like stepping on their balls. And, uh, I didn't believe her at first, cause she was so rough looking, but she got like the full Verizon package. She got like fucking two hundred speed internet, like five cable boxes.

• 53:40Matt McCusker?

  She had the two gigabytes and shot you the hell out of here.

• 53:42Speaker 02

  I bet she had like six cable boxes. I said, damn, she getting money. You get, you want HBO? She said, yeah, give me HBO. I said, damn, she probably be stepping on dudes dicks.

• 53:51Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 53:51Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 53:52Matt McCusker?

  That, uh, they, they do that. The dominatrixes definitely, I, I'm real into financial domination.

• 53:57Speaker 01

  And dumb?

• 53:57Matt McCusker?

  When they just, yeah, when they just go like, give me your money, you fucking bitch. And you're like, oh, fuck, yeah.

• 54:02Speaker 02

  You do it?

• 54:03Matt McCusker?

  No, I would never.

• 54:04Speaker 02

  No?

• 54:05Matt McCusker?

  But it just makes me laugh to be financially dominated. It's so fucking funny.

• 54:08Speaker 02

  Cause you were, the last time you were single, you were poor, right?

• 54:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 54:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:12Matt McCusker?

  Oh, hold on, no, I should take that back. I was, I was always kinda balling on the low.

• 54:16Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 54:16Matt McCusker?

  No, but I had, I had ups and downs for sure.

• 54:18Speaker 02

  Yeah. So when, when you were single, was there ever like a simp moment where a lady told you to send her money and you just did it with no reward?

• 54:26Matt McCusker?

  Uh, yeah, there was a time. I've definitely, I would fall into this at the strip club every now and again, where you would just like, you'd have a stripper come by and be like, oh, this and that.

• 54:33Speaker 02

  Strip clubs are different.

• 54:34Matt McCusker?

  Well, I'm saying after the fact.

• 54:35Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 54:36Matt McCusker?

  We would meet outside.

• 54:37Speaker 02

  Ah.

• 54:38Matt McCusker?

  But she would be like, I remember, I would like give one thing to that. Like, if there was like, oh, I can have a hundred bucks, the first time, I'm like, okay. And then after that, I'm like, nah, you're outta here.

• 54:45Speaker 02

  I remember a lady sent me her Venmo one time. I DM'd her and she just sent me her, like a screenshot of her Venmo. And I, I was like, I'm kinda drunk when I did it, but I sent her twenty bucks, thinking like, this'll move the needle.

• 54:59Speaker 02

  She just double tapped. I, I said, I think like, something like, just sent it. And then she just like double tapped that and we never spoke again.

• 55:07Speaker 01

  Dude.

• 55:11Speaker 01

  I was thinking about.

• 55:13Matt McCusker?

  So funny.

• 55:13Speaker 01

  Thinking about strip clubs, cause like, do you, you just get horny at a strip club to go home and fuck your wife? Like, is that like it? Like, what do you mean?

• 55:22Matt McCusker?

  No, well dude, there's.

• 55:23Speaker 01

  I don't get it.

• 55:24Speaker 02

  Hopefully you get jerked off or sucked in there.

• 55:26Matt McCusker?

  There's, there's a bunch. So there's like, it's all about the different strippers. Some of them are there just to dance and they're all above board. Then there's the ones that are kinda tricking and hoeing.

• 55:34Speaker 01

  But yeah, you're gonna get like stroked by the girl that's been stroking guys all day.

• 55:38Matt McCusker?

  Uh, that's the plan, yeah.

• 55:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:41Matt McCusker?

  That's exactly the plan.

• 55:43Speaker 02

  Kind of something like that. We don't think about the other guys, but yeah.

• 55:46Matt McCusker?

  Cause they make you think like it's only you. That's the whole thing. But then there's, so there's, there's the in club, but then there's the other level where they're like, they'll get you to be like, I like you, let's hang out outside. And they will hang out outside and they'll slowly start seeing how much money they can get out of you.

• 56:01Speaker 01

  I can't, I can't, I can't fall trapped to the strip club matrix. It doesn't work on me.

• 56:05Speaker 02

  Really?

• 56:06Speaker 01

  Yeah. It doesn't work on me.

• 56:07Matt McCusker?

  Not at all.

• 56:08Speaker 01

  Not at all. I just go.

• 56:10Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 56:13Speaker 02

  When they're strapped in?

• 56:14Speaker 01

  I go, leave me alone.

• 56:17Matt McCusker?

  No, there's, there's a world, there's, like, a lot of strippers have like very casual old guy boyfriends that are just sending them tons of money. And it's like, I think they'll give them like a taste once.

• 56:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:28Matt McCusker?

  And then be like, ah, my fucking carb, blah, blah, blah, blah. You have like four or five of those guys and you just keep getting new ones and new ones.

• 56:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, the sugar daddy cycle.

• 56:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 56:37Speaker 01

  Yeah. I, I don't even look at their tattoos. Like, I try not to look at it, cause like, uh, sometimes they might have a tattoo that's something I like, you go, ooh. And you're like, no, that's a trick. That's a part of the whole fucking game.

• 56:47Speaker 02

  You go, is that a Naruto tattoo on your pussy?

• 56:54Matt McCusker?

  How? So do you go to strip, have you been to a strip club in recent eras?

• 56:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:59Matt McCusker?

  Recent times?

• 56:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:00Matt McCusker?

  So what do you do when you go there? You just sit there like a very stolid?

• 57:04Speaker 01

  I'll sit outside and look at my phone, just like drink. Yeah, or I'll sit at the bar.

• 57:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 57:09Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 57:09Matt McCusker?

  And be like, get out of here now.

• 57:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:11Speaker 02

  What about when they, cause they come around? The strippers come around and they'll try and like bring you to the back. So if one approaches you, what are you, what are you saying?

• 57:19Speaker 01

  I'm okay.

• 57:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:22Speaker 04

  Me and La Mer pushed it up pretty hard one time at the strip club. And they would come up and try to get money. We would go, we don't have any more money.

• 57:35Speaker 04

  You're just watching videos on our phone and hanging out in the back.

• 57:38Matt McCusker?

  How do they respond? They just huffed away?

• 57:41Speaker 04

  They were kind of upset.

• 57:42Speaker 01

  They stopped showing up.

• 57:43Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they get mad.

• 57:44Speaker 01

  We gave all our money to the first lady and then we were like, oh, we forgot, we set a trap. Now they all think we're gonna have money.

• 57:52Matt McCusker?

  Oh, it's so funny.

• 57:53Speaker 02

  You can't just hand her like forty one dollar bills in a stack. You gotta like make them rain and shit.

• 57:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, that was our mistake.

• 57:59Speaker 02

  Yeah. You just did like a transaction. You paid it like it was rent.

• 58:04Speaker 04

  We balled it up like a snowball at just the first one.

• 58:07Matt McCusker?

  You can also chill and just be like, I don't have any money. I'm sorry.

• 58:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:11Matt McCusker?

  I wish I had, if I had it, I'd give it to you, babe.

• 58:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, I remember one time I went to a strip club and tried to hand, oh, this was when I, I, yeah, I, I went, uh, to a strip club and I like tried to give a lady a dollar and she was like, throw it at me. And I was like, what? I don't wanna do that.

• 58:30Speaker 01

  And take this.

• 58:32Matt McCusker?

  That's crazy.

• 58:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:34Speaker 04

  Guy eat Giana Michaels spit?

• 58:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, off the.

• 58:37Speaker 04

  It was crazy.

• 58:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:39Speaker 04

  She like, was deep throw the knife.

• 58:40Matt McCusker?

  Was that in Philly?

• 58:41Speaker 01

  No, right.

• 58:42Speaker 04

  She, she.

• 58:42Matt McCusker?

  Damn, you guys just called the Giana Michaels red.

• 58:46Speaker 04

  She was a towel. We had to get tickets.

• 58:47Speaker 01

  And Sophie D. It was Giana Michaels and Sophie D.

• 58:51Matt McCusker?

  Oh my god, she was outside of the, like the Harrisburg comedy zone. So she, she.

• 58:57Speaker 04

  She was like deep throw like a knife stick. And then when she pulled it out of her mouth, there's a bunch of like drool came out with it. Dude who was in front of the stage dragged his finger through it and then just like, put it, put it right in his mouth. He's probably dead now.

• 59:11Matt McCusker?

  That's the thing. It's like, you think you're horny? There are horny fucking dudes out there. I saw the same thing at Show and Tell in Philly. I remember they had their live dildo show at midnight on Saturdays.

• 59:23Speaker 02

  That's a good time. Where they, where they put the double in and they fuck each other with it?

• 59:26Matt McCusker?

  Well, they also, they're like visibly heroin addicted ladies. They're, they're just like meth faces. It's really a very sore sight.

• 59:34Speaker 02

  They all smell like Red Bull for some reason.

• 59:36Speaker 01

  You guys are promoted.

• 59:38Matt McCusker?

  It's a very sore sight. And I remember this lady was like jamming herself. And then she would take it out and like wave in the crowd. And every dude was like, yo, whoa, whoa, dude, for real, dodging, dodging it like a fucking lightsaber. Everyone was like, god damn, don't, don't touch me with that. And there was one guy, dude, I, he was this drunk, older guy. And he was just like, I'll fuck, I'll fucking suck that thing right now. And I remember we were like, no, you fucking won't. He's like, give it to me. I'll fucking suck that thing right now. I'll fucking lick it. I'll lick that thing. And we're like, oh no. But he was like actively trying to fucking get the juices off. I'm like, dude, like a for real crack addled prostitutes.

• 1:00:21Matt McCusker?

  It was, it was like sad. And I remember being like, dude, no.

• 1:00:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, there's guys out there that will fucking go to town. Like, doesn't even hold a candle.

• 1:00:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:36Speaker 02

  No shame at all.

• 1:00:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:38Matt McCusker?

  No, it's not, it's like not even close.

• 1:00:43Speaker 02

  That's so funny.

• 1:00:44Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I remember seeing that guy. He was so, so fucking funny.

• 1:00:47Speaker 02

  Show and Tell was nuts.

• 1:00:48Matt McCusker?

  It's closed now, right?

• 1:00:49Speaker 02

  Yeah. Show and Tell used to have, uh, they would have the eighteen and up side or like twenty-one and up, and then twenty-one to eighteen side.

• 1:00:56Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:57Speaker 02

  And all, all that was separating was just like glass panes. You could see through it. And we brought my brother, cause I remember I looked up like eighteen and up strip clubs and uh, Show and Tell came up, but I didn't realize they were separated. So I brought my brother to Show and Tell when he was eighteen.

• 1:01:10Matt McCusker?

  Yep.

• 1:01:10Speaker 02

  And uh, it was me and my cousin and like a couple of my other friends sitting on the other side, like just having the time of our lives.

• 1:01:16Matt McCusker?

  That's the BYOB section, I think.

• 1:01:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:18Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:18Speaker 02

  We were looking at like the double sided dildo show and like, we're all like, this is awesome. And then uh, my, we saw my little brother was like, uh, pressed up against the glass, just looking through. Drinking sodas by himself. He's like, I wanna come see the double dildo show.

• 1:01:36Speaker 02

  I was like, Luke, you stay over there, dude.

• 1:01:38Matt McCusker?

  He's a puppy in a window. Yeah, that, that place was like complete mayhem, man. Show and Tell, I, I don't think there'll be anything else like that.

• 1:01:48Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:01:48Speaker 01

  It was this uh, strip club like right outside of Rent called Buck Rubs.

• 1:01:52Speaker 02

  Buck Rubs.

• 1:01:53Speaker 01

  Buck Rubs. It was BYOB and there used to be this like fat black lady there who, she didn't get like a lot of tips for dancing, but the way she used to make her bread was she was just had these giant titties and you would give her like ones and you would just point people out in the strip club and she would just go up on the side of them and just boom, just like smack them right in the head.

• 1:02:10Speaker 02

  Jackass three?

• 1:02:14Matt McCusker?

  I think her name was Candy, if I remember right. Really? Did you ever see the uh, did you ever see a show like a, not like a birthday party or a bachelor party at Show and Tell? When they would like take the guy up and beat his, they would beat the guy's ass. Like they would like really hurt you.

• 1:02:28Speaker 02

  That happened to me on my, the day I graduated from college. We went, not at Show and Tell, we went to this place called Just Enough in Bridgeport. And uh,

• 1:02:36Matt McCusker?

  Names are so funny.

• 1:02:37Speaker 02

  We called it the boot, cause it was a giant fucking like uh, light up boot outside of it. But yeah. They told, they told the strippers, they were like, he just graduated from college. And I was like, I don't wanna fucking do this. I don't wanna, and my cousin was like, nah, they'll be cool, dude. It's just like a lap dance. Mind you, like my mom and my dad were in there. It was fucking weird. And then uh, they brought me to this fucking chair on the stage and they handcuffed me behind me and they started beating me with belts.

• 1:03:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's what they do at Show and Tell.

• 1:03:02Speaker 02

  I was freaking out. I was like, stop. It was embarrassing. It was more embarrassing like spasm than getting beat.

• 1:03:09Matt McCusker?

  That's exactly what they do at Show and Tell. They would just take your shirt off and they like dance on your lap and the guy would be hammered, just like, uh, and then they would take your belts and start like ruthlessly fucking beating you with belts.

• 1:03:19Speaker 02

  This was on the day I graduated, man. I was like proud. I was like, I'm the first male in my family to get a degree. And they go, let's fucking get him beat by strippers. Let's put him through a ritual.

• 1:03:28Matt McCusker?

  Those ladies would put fucking ass into it. I mean, you gotta understand, it's like a very deeply frustrated, single mother.

• 1:03:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:34Matt McCusker?

  Just fucking, just taking out all the frustrations on like an eighteen year old. It's like, ah. And they, they would, people would freak out and be like, stop.

• 1:03:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, that was me. I was spasm.

• 1:03:45Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's not funny.

• 1:03:46Speaker 02

  It sucks.

• 1:03:47Matt McCusker?

  It's, it's also like, why? Why, what did the fuck, it's like, it's like I get, you know, the naked ladies. But there is a part of it that's like, yeah, we wanna see young men get the shit kicked out of them too.

• 1:03:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:57Matt McCusker?

  See a young man get whipped until he cries on his birthday at the strip club.

• 1:04:01Speaker 02

  I've never been into uh, like on either side, whether it's like me inflicting pain on somebody or like a woman like trying to hurt me during sex. I'm out on all of it. I, I hooked up with this girl one time that like wanted me to like slap the shit out of her and it made me so uncomfortable. I felt like I was getting like tricked the whole time. I was like, nah, like Chris Hansen's gonna come in here or something, slap her. Maybe not Chris Hansen, but like the guy who does that for guys who hit women.

• 1:04:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, Steve Wilkos.

• 1:04:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, Steve Wilkos comes into my bedroom.

• 1:04:29Matt McCusker?

  So how did you navigate that? Did you do like any baby slaps or?

• 1:04:32Speaker 02

  I did and she was like, hit me harder, hit me. She was like, you're a fucking pussy. And then uh, I was just, yeah, I was like, I'm not gonna, I was like, you're baiting me into this. And then I kinda just like politely came and was like, we're not gonna do this anymore.

• 1:04:44Matt McCusker?

  That's nice.

• 1:04:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:45Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I'm not into the rough stuff. I, I personally would, if I had to choose one or the other, I would rather receive pain than dole it out.

• 1:04:51Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:04:52Matt McCusker?

  Like a bite. I wouldn't mind a little love bite personally.

• 1:04:54Speaker 02

  A bite's nothing. Yeah, like a little scratch, that's fine.

• 1:04:57Matt McCusker?

  Bite, scratches, all that's fine.

• 1:04:59Speaker 02

  Don't fucking choke me or slap me. That's insane.

• 1:05:01Matt McCusker?

  Sure, I've never been choked. I don't know if I like it. I can't speak on it.

• 1:05:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:05Matt McCusker?

  Getting choked, also it's like, I don't think a girl could choke me. I'm not bragging, but I'm pretty sure my, if I flex my neck veins, I genuinely don't think a girl could choke me if you tried.

• 1:05:15Matt McCusker?

  Do you like being choked, Lemaire?

• 1:05:16Speaker 01

  Uh, no.

• 1:05:18Matt McCusker?

  You're the choker. You're the choker.

• 1:05:22Speaker 01

  No way. That wasn't for me.

• 1:05:27Speaker 02

  Wait, what's the dog collar?

• 1:05:29Speaker 01

  Uh, I don't know where it's at.

• 1:05:32Matt McCusker?

  How much respect do you think you get if you walked a white lady on a dog collar through the hood?

• 1:05:37Speaker 01

  Oh, it's a dream.

• 1:05:39Matt McCusker?

  And had her fucking like pull at people and like, get out of here.

• 1:05:42Speaker 02

  Start to bite the mailman.

• 1:05:43Matt McCusker?

  Bring a rabid snow bunny. That'd be so nice. I might do that.

• 1:05:50Speaker 01

  Then you'll be pimp.

• 1:05:54Speaker 01

  The whole hood will be talking. They're like, he was walking a white girl.

• 1:05:58Speaker 02

  That's what my cousin would walk a white girl.

• 1:06:01Matt McCusker?

  It's like a dog walker. We have like four dogs on one leash. That'd be so nice.

• 1:06:06Speaker 02

  Just outside the mothership with the girls on a leash?

• 1:06:09Speaker 01

  I mean, the pogg walker.

• 1:06:13Matt McCusker?

  That'd be a very sick rain bet video.

• 1:06:15Speaker 01

  The pogg walker?

• 1:06:16Matt McCusker?

  If you pogg walked?

• 1:06:18Speaker 01

  Dude, yeah.

• 1:06:18Matt McCusker?

  On like Lancaster Ave in Philly? It would, it'd be a sensation.

• 1:06:23Speaker 02

  Making a rain bet video is so funny.

• 1:06:27Speaker 02

  Just walking girls being like, yeah, and see if I bet ten dollars on Kelsey right now.

• 1:06:32Matt McCusker?

  I mean dude, they would lose their minds.

• 1:06:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:35Matt McCusker?

  That would be, I mean, it might be out of respect, take off your Kangol.

• 1:06:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:40Speaker 02

  The, the best rain bet videos, wait, rain bet is where, it's like just a random video and then they promote.

• 1:06:44Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:45Speaker 02

  Dude, the best one I've seen is uh, there's this guy, he uh, the, the double dasher, have you seen him? If you're off the internet, you might not have seen the double dasher. Dude, he, he gets people to DoorDash to him and then uh, these people like bring the food up to him and he grabs the, the bag of food and just punts it across the lawn. And he goes, you fucking double dashed me. You're playing in my face. I know you're double dashing. And they all go, what? And then he, he starts handing them like thousands of dollars. He'll give them like a pile of money and then, it's always like some ridiculous shit. He'll like pull like a rubber chicken out of his pants and be like, you want this? And they're always terrified, but when he, when he punts the food, it's the funniest. He gets a full bag of Wendy's and boom, people are like, why'd you do that? He's like, you fucking double dashed me.

• 1:07:30Speaker 02

  And then he gives them money.

• 1:07:31Speaker 01

  You know, assaulting it is. Watch the one punk kick, the fucking thing you made. It's ten dollars for you. That's ten dollars worth of your time.

• 1:07:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:38Speaker 01

  And you just watch a guy punk kick.

• 1:07:40Speaker 02

  It might be less than that. It's, I, I DoorDashed for three hours, dude. Sometimes you get like four bucks per delivery. It's like,

• 1:07:46Matt McCusker?

  It'd also be, I would be scared. It'd be kinda scary, cause you're like, this guy's gonna shoot me now. This is the first thing you do.

• 1:07:54Speaker 02

  No, he's, he seems out of his fucking mind when you hear the videos.

• 1:07:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, dude, that's so crazy. You're, you're less valuable than the food. Like if you work for DoorDash.

• 1:08:02Speaker 02

  True.

• 1:08:03Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you better be, cause I'm not trying to pay double on the food.

• 1:08:07Matt McCusker?

  You have to be. I always says this is the way it works. It is funny, this is a person's time and you're like, it's not worth as much as like fried vegetable oil.

• 1:08:18Matt McCusker?

  Well Drew, I think we did it.

• 1:08:19Speaker 02

  This has been fun, dude.

• 1:08:20Matt McCusker?

  Thank you, Lemaire.

• 1:08:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:22Matt McCusker?

  Thank you very much. Sliding into the Patreon, what we will.

• 1:08:24Speaker 02

  Check out our Durag and the Deer Tech Digital Bazooka.

• 1:08:27Matt McCusker?

  Yes. Also, we're gonna uh, we're gonna follow up on the outer space thing.

• 1:08:31Speaker 01

  Well, nice.

• 1:08:31Speaker 02

  Let's go.

• 1:08:31Matt McCusker?

  I labored over it all week. Excuse me, I farted. All right. Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Spotify.

• 1:08:40Speaker 02

  Do it.