Winning It All: Building Champions w/ Coach Dan Hurley

So, what does it take to WIN at the absolute HIGHEST LEVEL? It’s a complex question with anything but simple answers. But this week, you’ll hear from somebody who knows EXACTLY what it takes from one of the best coaches on the planet. DAN HURLEY is the head coach at the UNIVERSITY OF CONNECTICUT, where he guided the team to the 2023 NCAA CHAMPIONSHIP, reaching the top ranks of college basketball after more than 20 years of paying hard-earned dues. If Dan’s name sounds familiar, it may also be because he comes from one of the game's most famous basketball coaching families. His father is NAISMITH HALL OF FAMER BOB HURLEY SR., and his older brother, Bobby, was one of DUKE’S greatest point guards who played several seasons in the NBA and is currently the head coach at Arizona State. I wanted to know what it takes to build a program from the ground up, which Dan has done at WAGNER, RHODE ISLAND, AND UCONN. The best part of hearing Dan’s approach for each of these programs is that we cover skills and strategies you can use to win the big games in your life, too. Dan and I go into a full-court press with game notes on: Why DEFINING CULTURE is the most important thing you can do The importance of PACING yourself How to COMMUNICATION during pressure-filled situations. Building RELATIONSHIPS based on TRUST and BELIEF Why WINNING is not the ultimate EMOTION The role of FAITH, MEDITATION, MORNING ROUTINE, MARRIAGE, and FAMILY play in Dan’s life The secret to being able to COMPETE at the highest levels Dan Hurley is a coach who plays ABOVE THE RIM. You rarely get such a candid take on the PRESSURE, GRIT, and MINDSET of what goes on behind the scenes of building a top-level program and championship teams, and Dan will tell you precisely how to use his blueprint to elevate your own game as well! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

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• 0:45Ed Mylett?

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• 1:01Speaker 01

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• 1:36Speaker 04

  This is the Ed Mileage Show.

• 1:40Ed Mylett?

  Welcome back to the show, everybody. I've wanted to have this man on for a while. I've been, I guess, a fan and a studier of his for a very long time. I told him this when we were off camera. He's achieved things in his career and in his life that very, very few leaders have achieved. The more I've been around the sports world, everyone, I have to tell you, these top-level collegiate coaches, particularly in college baseball, basketball, and football that I've been around. Are not just some of the great coaches that I've been around. There's some of the great leaders in any enterprise that I've been around, in any enterprise, business, politics, or otherwise, to lead these elite programs and to do it in a way that they do it consistently, takes a very unique leader, and this man right here is no exception to that rule.

• 2:24Ed Mylett?

  He is the University of Connecticut's head basketball coach. They happen to be the 2023 national champs, and his name is Dan Hurley. Dan, it's really an honor to have you here today, brother. Thank you for being here.

• 2:35Speaker 05

  Yeah, Ed, man, it's awesome to be on, and your voice is real familiar, you know, every morning I kind of start the day working out, but I'm used to hearing your voice on like speed in the corner, you know. You know, I'm trying to maximize my time, you know, in the morning when I'm on the Peloton or work it out, but it's an honor to be on here, man.

• 2:57Ed Mylett?

  Oh, well, thank you for that. Yeah, when I meet people in person, I go, one, I thought you'd be taller, and two, I thought you talked a little bit faster. And I'm like, the latter is because of the speed at which you listen to my podcast, probably. So, and I'd be sick of me, too. I'd speed it up as well. My kids have it on like five times speed, so they're done in like two minutes. So, so listen, congratulations on, on the national championship, but really on your entire career. Everywhere you've gone, they were losing pretty bad before you got there, and then within a pretty short window of time, you've been able to turn things around. I wonder when you take something over like that.

• 3:33Ed Mylett?

  Let's just take UConn for the last job that you've had. What is the first thing you start with? Is it culture? Is it the, the, the players themselves? Is there one thing you go, this is where I'm going to begin to turn something around?

• 3:46Speaker 05

  Yeah, I mean, for, for me, Ed, it's, it's, um, it's, it's before arrival. It's when I kind of

• 3:55Speaker 05

  torture myself over whether I should make the move or not. You know, when you're coaching at Wagner and Rhode Island comes calling, or you know, when you're at Rhode Island, and now it's a chance to go to UConn. For me, I, you know, I, I'm very emotional with my work and I'm very emotional with the way that I coach and I've become very attached to a place in my players. So it's hard for me to leave. You know, so people think that all coaches, when they make moves up in the coaching ladder, that it's like an easy decision because it's more money and a bigger, bigger stage. But,

• 4:34Speaker 05

  you know, prior to taking a job, like I have to really believe in the place I'm going to that, like, I'm going to be able to do, like, historical success there. Or just kind of, you know, hold on to the job, but like, do incredible things. And, you know, so that goes on behind the scenes. And then, you know, obviously, your press conference, man, you, you know, when you get the stage and you get introduced to the fan base and to the university organization for the first time, you know, you've got, you've got to do a great job with that. I mean, you've got to get people excited. You've got to, you know, establish a vision and an identity of who you're going to be and, you know, generate that enthusiasm because

• 5:18Speaker 05

  you're, you're taking over for a coach or at a program that has bottomed out. Right. You know, so the fan base has got to be fired up. And then, you know, the one thing that I've done when I've gone into these places that I think is important in terms of your people is I don't, I don't go in there and, and get rid of, get rid of any of the staff or move on from any of the players. You know, I, I give ample amount of time for, you know, for people to show value or show a commitment to, to changing habits, behavior. So I really evaluate things and not come in in a transactional way and try to show people that are more transformational and, and,

• 6:04Speaker 05

  you know, that I want to work with people. So I'm building a program, I think, on a solid foundation and a culture of trust with anyone that survives. Now, it becomes survival ed because I set a much different tone and an energy and, and a work rate. So I don't, not everyone's going to survive, but the people that do, you know, they know what I'm all about. And then, you hire the best staff you can hire and. Make sure you get that blue chip talent that's about the right things, but you know, really, when you get in there, man, I think it's just like establish a work, a work rate and a trust and a work ethic that's gonna kind of blow people away and, and, uh, and

• 6:49Speaker 05

  then obviously go get some talented people.

• 6:51Ed Mylett?

  I want to know what that looks like. I was thinking when you were describing that with no criticism to anybody else, but, um, in fact, this guy and I are rep by the same people, but thinking a real prominent former NFL guy that's recently taken over a college football program and he kind of just like, what I've heard sort of gutted the place like initially, right? I think you probably know what I'm talking about. And, uh, when I heard that, I thought, I get the standard thing. Same time, I don't know that that's fair to the kids who had already made commitments to that school and probably could have gone elsewhere at one time. So I really admire that you do it that way. What does it look like though? So he said, I want to establish the vision. We just get a little granular. So you come in, you have your press conference, took you a long time to decide to leave where you were because you love the kids, you've built relationships with the community, the

• 7:33Ed Mylett?

  people, the boosters, I assume. But now you've moved, you've done your press conference, these kids are now used to losing, probably a standard that's not what you're gonna set. So is that like an initial like, hey, here's how things are gonna change? Or is it more like, I'm gonna show you rather than tell you? I'm just curious, because a lot of people that are listening to this are entrepreneurs. They got an organization right now that's functioning at, call it 60% of its capacity. They're gonna listen to you today, who took a team that was literally losing and take them to a national championship. You know, what, what does it look like to establish that vision and that, that work ethic, the standard, all that other stuff?

• 8:11Speaker 05

  Yeah. So, you know, Ed, for me, the, in terms of the, just the, the players, I think the first thing that I showed them, uh, in, in the first team meeting, you know, beyond, you know, making a commitment to them to, um, you know, to be in the type of coach that can, can really develop them is, is I showed them one clip, uh, one play from, uh, the last season before I had gotten to UConn. It was, um, from the last season of the prior coach, and I think they were playing Villanova, uh, at home at the Hartford Civic Center here. And, um, I think on the possession, I think Villanova might have, you know, missed four shots in one possession, but got four offensive rebounds. So just

• 8:56Speaker 05

  outworking them, hustling, you know, superior talent plus.

• 9:03Speaker 05

  You know, not giving the effort, right? So Bill always got better players and they're playing a thousand times harder.

• 9:09Ed Mylett?

  Hmm.

• 9:10Speaker 05

  We're playing um and their ambition to win i- i- is far greater. So I I showed them that play um. You know, and I said, that's that's gonna change um. You know, and that's not that type of effort. It will not be tolerated. And I showed them just one possession from, you know, my Rhode Island team. I I didn't want to go in there and. You know, and talk about Rhode Island this, Rhode Island that, you know. Because that's not what I I think a a potentially like a returning player wants to hear.

• 9:40Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 9:41Speaker 05

  About the stuff that you accomplish somewhere else. So but I showed them one clip where I think uh. Our signature play from my last year at Rhodey was like a a defensive stop. And then five different players touched the ball in transition to dunk the ball without. Any one player on the court dribbling.

• 10:01Ed Mylett?

  Hmm.

• 10:01Speaker 05

  So it was beautiful teamwork. It was beautiful aggression. It was beautiful. Um, you know, just pace, execution. It was everything.

• 10:11Ed Mylett?

  Hmm.

• 10:12Speaker 05

  Everything was on full display. So I showed the team that and uh in that first meeting um. Vision of how far we have to go and then um and then just model, man, model. Model who you want everyone in the organization to be um, you know, first person in the building uh. You know, last one to to leave the building um.

• 10:33Ed Mylett?

  Do you know your coaches too? In other words, do your coaches still see you first in the building last to leave? Is that important with your staff as well? Or is that exclusive to the players? Or is it literally everybody around you?

• 10:43Speaker 05

  Well, nowadays, they. They better be first.

• 10:47Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 10:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, I mean, I think I think early on um. You know, I've gotten a little bit smarter um. I think my responsibilities at UConn are different than they were. At Rhodey or Wagner or as a high school coach. So um, you know, and so. So I I look, I probably put more into um, you know, into sleep and rest uh. Within the last couple of years where I'm in pretty early, but I expect my staff to beat me in um. And a lot of the stuff that I model is just everything that I believe like um you know I keep myself in great shape. You know, I I I work I work out every day and meticulous with my diet.

• 11:34Speaker 05

  I'm always trying to read and learn and and you know, I I I talk about my morning routine with my players and my staff. Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 11:44Ed Mylett?

  One observation, Coach, I want to ask you about. We're talking about if someone meets me, I should be taller and talk slower. The other thing they often say to me, and I'm noticing this with you.

• 11:56Ed Mylett?

  I think they're expecting an experience with like this super intense pumped up dude every single second of the day. And if I almost feel like sometimes they they are disappointed that I am keeping energy in reserve. And right when the camera went on with you today, because I watched this dude, this is one of the most intense humans in sports that we're talking to right now. And it's one of the things I admire most about you, yet today I find you dialed down a gear or two. Have you learned to pace yourself like that? Is that an intentional thing? You can't be a hundred miles an hour all the time. But I imagine the way in which you delivered those two videos probably had a little bit different energy or or volume tone. Or am I wrong about that?

• 12:40Ed Mylett?

  Or are you or is this your normal tone with the players?

• 12:45Speaker 05

  Yeah, so I think um you know, when it's time to turn it up, I think I mean, as a leader, I could turn it up in terms of the intensity and and the electricity. Yeah, I I I generally like growing up, I was you know, just I I was always kind of like a a lot less serious than my brother, a lot less serious than my dad. I was probably always, I don't want to say like the funny Hurley, but the Hurley probably that you know, didn't give a you know what. You know, out of the group, out of the three Hurley men in sports, that was probably my deal. But generally throughout the day, I mean.

• 13:31Speaker 05

  I'm pretty relaxed. I'm pretty laid back. I mean, my wife says like her friends always ask her after we've got the dinner like, like he's or says like he he's way different than what I thought he was gonna be.

• 13:42Ed Mylett?

  Right, right.

• 13:44Speaker 05

  Um, cause I save it for, you know, in between the lines. I save it for a team meeting. I really, I save it for when I come in the building. And I've got to set a tone with with with with my people. I mean, when I come in here, um, you know, my meetings are are intense. You better have ideas. You you better add to conversation about players or tactics or ways that we can move this thing forward or else you're not gonna be able to work for me. I mean, if you can't show up for when we're in between the lines, uh, with with the absolute maximum maximum effort, uh, if you can't show up and play

• 14:25Speaker 05

  every possession like you're a total nobody for me, like you can't play for me. Um, so, you know, what I guess from when I pull in here, uh, you know, at eight until when I leave here at whatever time in the night, depending on time of year. I mean, I'm setting a tone that is hard to keep up with. Um,

• 14:44Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 14:45Speaker 05

  But when I'm not doing that business, I'm a lot more chill and relaxed thanks to, uh, you know, meditation and wanting to get home to my wife and chill.

• 14:55Ed Mylett?

  Mm hmm. Well, one thing I've noticed, and by the way, if those of you that don't know, because there's probably eighty percent of my audience is not rabid college basketball fans, right? So those of you that don't know, his brother's Bobby Hurley, who is one of the great all time college basketball players at Duke. I don't know, two national championships, I think, when he was there, if I'm right, is that right? Your brother had two?

• 15:15Speaker 05

  Seventh pick in the draft.

• 15:16Ed Mylett?

  Seventh pick in the draft.

• 15:19Speaker 05

  Bob's probably five eleven, one fifty five, one sixty.

• 15:23Ed Mylett?

  Crazy. And had a, you know, an accident that happened, probably would have played a lot longer. And then his dad is one of the great at St. Anthony, one of the literally, one of the great all time high school coaches, like all time, Nate Swift, award winner. So he comes from this insane basketball family. And I think it's probably accurate to say that if you went back fifteen years ago and said, which one of these three is gonna win a national championship? Probably Dan would be third on that list of the three of them, right? And that's, I don't, I think that's even what you're acknowledging. But I think that energy thing's important. I'm thinking about it when you were talking. I didn't think I was gonna ask you this, but college basketball coaches are kind of unique, like the great ones. And one of the things that's unique about them is how long they actually stay in their craft. I'm thinking about a guy like Dean Smith or Bayheim.

• 16:10Ed Mylett?

  Williams, you know, John Wooden, all these guys, I mean, they coached a long time, right? So I gotta think part of that is to some extent pacing your energy. And do you have an intention of doing that? By the way, are you gonna be a 78 year old guy? Coaching somewhere? Do you, you think you'll still be doing this at that age?

• 16:30Speaker 05

  I personally, well, that's, I mean, that's a couple of things. I mean, I was a lunatic. On the sideline, probably midway through my time at Rhodey, maybe seven, eight years ago, I'd say where the emotion and the, and the passion was overwhelming, overwhelming, you know, my ability to, to manage the game and manage the game and think clearly.

• 16:57Speaker 05

  And back then, I think I really was kind of like out of control. With officials, with road crowds.

• 17:07Speaker 05

  You know, what just, it was, it was too much and I had some moments, I think moments with my wife, believe it or not, who knows like nothing about sports. I went to Andrea like night after like a night of a brutal loss at home at Rhodey and her telling me that, you know, I was embarrassing her with the way I was

• 17:28Speaker 05

  acting on the sideline. So it's a fine line between like coaching with that type of emotion and being able to, to manage it. I've grown a lot that way over the course of like the last several years.

• 17:43Speaker 05

  One of the keys to my coaching career has been like. Fired as an assistant coach at Rutgers, looking like I'll never coach college, but then you get, you decide to become a head high school coach.

• 17:55Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 17:56Speaker 05

  You, you, you learn your craft at nine years, really experimenting a lot with, with leadership and tactics and player development. And then you get like a low division one job for two years, which, you know, it's a lot easier to win at that level than it is to beat Jay Wright.

• 18:16Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 18:17Speaker 05

  So like, you know, you're, you're, you're learning your craft and you're making mistakes, but you're learning and growing and you're not under that intense spotlight. And then you go low major to mid-major at Rhodey. And so I've been, I've benefited my career, man, from just having like, to prove myself at every level. And I've had time to kind of like learn and grow, never taking a job that was, was too big for me.

• 18:43Ed Mylett?

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• 19:26Ed Mylett?

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• 20:08Ed Mylett?

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• 20:47Ed Mylett?

  Hmm. There's stuff I've always wanted to ask a great leader. Um, maybe you don't get asked this very often, so this might be stuff that is, it's in the core, but it's not asked a lot. And it's about criticism. Um, not that you, how you face it. That's the second question. How you deliver it? Um, I'd like to ask you about that. How do you, and have you done, do you do it differently now? How do you deliver criticism to a coach, but mainly to your players? And because you're dealing with, we forget this. I'll watch even college basketball this day. I'm like, this, this kid's 18. He's 19 years old. And at a school like UConn, man, the pressures of boosters

• 21:28Ed Mylett?

  and crowds and arenas and, you know, family back home depending on you. How do you deliver criticism to players and coaches? Are you cognizant of the way you do it? Do you fly off the handle? Is it different with certain players over others? I think it's one of the most important nuances as a leader is to be able to criticize somebody in a way that causes them to grow. I have to tell you, this comes because I had a coach criticize me. In college when I played baseball and I'm fifty two years old to this day. And he recently came to a speech I gave, showed up out of the blue. And I turned and gave him this big hug and I actually started crying because he was proud of me.

• 22:11Ed Mylett?

  But actually, the reason I was crying was I have never forgotten a particular criticism he gave me. That just crushed me. And it wasn't delivered, it wasn't like, you know, lift your elbow or spread your legs out. It was personal. And to this day, I probably think about it twenty five or thirty times a year. Is that nuts? So I think it's an important thing. It's a real relevant question. So what's your answer to that?

• 22:39Speaker 05

  I I would say it um. It just it starts in like recruiting when like before they even get here. You know, for me, I won't take a recruit at. At UConn where this is a pressure cooker. You you coach here or play here. You know, you you better have the stomach for it. You know, because the standards are super high. You know, you have. You know, you've got the five national championships with with Coach Calhoun, one of the goats. And then and then Kevin Ollie, and then you got Gino over there with eleven.

• 23:12Ed Mylett?

  The women's coach, guys, coaches women's basketball, eleven.

• 23:15Speaker 05

  Eleven, so it starts in recruiting, you know, I I I need them to watch a practice.

• 23:22Speaker 05

  I need them to see us. I need to see us at work. I need them to see the pace, the tempo, the competitiveness. You know, my entire coaching staff's attention to detail, the intensity of our work. I need them to understand the that workload. And then in recruiting, you know, we don't cheat. I mean, we don't lie to them about.

• 23:47Speaker 05

  About what this is going to be. I mean, this is about us. Us being allowed to coach them and get the most out of them. And sometimes it's going to hurt, it's going to be painful.

• 24:00Speaker 05

  There's a reason why they say that the the truth hurts, right? And I just feel like. The way that we recruit them because of the substance with it. And then when they step foot on campus, the time investment. All these players talk for our college basketball and.

• 24:19Speaker 05

  Our players are on campus 11 months a year.

• 24:22Ed Mylett?

  Hmm.

• 24:23Speaker 05

  A couple of days for Christmas, different holidays, a little bit for summer, maybe a week here. But 11 months, our program is functioning and operating at a very intense level. I'm not out playing golf. You know, I'm not out, you know, writing a book on leadership or at my vacation home. Like, I'm on campus every day that they're on campus.

• 24:44Ed Mylett?

  Wow.

• 24:45Speaker 05

  Pushing, pulling, um, you know, running our program, practice, you know, whatever we're doing. Strengthening, additioning, off the court player development, like, I'm, I'm pushing uh for them every single day that they're here. So for me, I feel like, you know, the day after a game, you know, where, where they don't perform the things that we need them to perform for us all to succeed together. Yeah, those film sessions are gonna be, are gonna be tough. And I'm gonna be honest about the things that you're not doing. Um, but the foundation that the relationship is built on, the time investment, um, my evidence of success at, at various levels as a coach.

• 25:29Speaker 05

  It just, it gives me, I think, the uh, um, you know, the, the, the ability to, to be honest, to be tough on them when I need to.

• 25:37Ed Mylett?

  Hmm.

• 25:38Speaker 05

  But then also to, to celebrate them when they're, when they're successful. Um, so.

• 25:44Ed Mylett?

  Coach, do you, I'm curious, Dan, not to interrupt you, but I'm curious. Do you have that kind of sensory acuity where it's been a rough film session? And you know that potentially the kid is losing his confidence. Do you have that, kind of that sensory thing where you'd pull a kid in if that's happened? And, I don't know, I'm love on him, remind him of your belief in him. I just think these are things that great leaders do almost intuitively, that they don't even realize that other, that is the separator oftentimes is these little nuances. A guy tries to model you, for example, and he's intense and he's getting in there, you know, what's about their pants about film sessions. But they miss the other thing.

• 26:25Ed Mylett?

  And I've watched you enough. I've actually watched you on the bench in a game, walk over to a kid that you'd been hard on. Uh, I watched it and then I watched you. I watched the camera catch you. Walk over, you put your hands on his knees and you got in front of him. And I could tell you're like, all right, I gotta make a deposit in this kid because I've made a withdrawal that maybe went a little too far. And I do think these are, you're laughing, right? So I, I hope I'm right, but so, uh, is that part of the job as a, as a leader is to be looking for that and noticing those little subtleties?

• 26:58Speaker 05

  Well, no doubt. I mean, I, listen, I played. I've been on the court. At, at Seton Hall as a player, you know, your, your brothers at Duke. You know, really like living the dream, right? Like, like. National championships, like living the fairytale career. But at the same time, I'm at Seton Hall and I can't make a shot and I'm, you know, totally broken. So I, I think I, a- as a game night coach, I think I, I really separate the two. I, I, on game night, game night, I look at really myself. Really almost as like a boxing trainer or one of these UFC corner men where, you know, I, I put my athlete through really brutal preparation and training.

• 27:42Speaker 05

  Um, up until the moment of competition, but then, you know, once you guys see us, you know, at the anthem and when that game goes on, I feel like my job is almost to be the hype man.

• 27:55Ed Mylett?

  Interesting.

• 27:56Speaker 05

  Uh, you, you will never see me berate a player.

• 28:01Speaker 05

  On game night, halftime. You know, during a TV timeout after a bad shot. I mean, I, I am. I know that my job, uh, like when those lights come on and it's time to perform is to protect their confidence. Enhance their confidence. Um, but then on the flip side, I think that's kind of the genius from my dad. My dad was like a, a, a very difficult taskmaster, you know, like he was, he was Mickey and Rocky, man, like on the lead to the fight. But then, when he jumped in the corner on game night, you know, he built his fighter up and I feel like. You know, kind of like that's that's the perfect role as a coach.

• 28:42Ed Mylett?

  You try to make the practices and the preparation so difficult that the game feels easier? Is that part of the?

• 28:48Speaker 05

  Slower, less intense.

• 28:50Ed Mylett?

  The game is slower, you're saying and less.

• 28:52Speaker 05

  Well, our practices are are at a pace and a competitiveness and at a tempo. That is that not a lot of places. I it's almost reminds you a little bit of when you watch teams play college football. They're offensively in terms of.

• 29:09Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 29:10Speaker 05

  Quick and putting a tempo on the opponent and I do all of my coaching and correcting on the lead up to the game. If I'm on the court screaming at guys about a cut they didn't make. You know, or or not getting back on defense, then I'm a shitty coach, you know?

• 29:26Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 29:27Speaker 05

  That should have been cleaned up before I got to Thursday night, sold out arena.

• 29:32Ed Mylett?

  Well, I I asked that because I think I always think sports is a perfect metaphor for business or any other thing, even being a parent to some extent. And I've been fortunate to be around a few. I'd love to be around you more. I told you that because I I do believe that these elite coaches are some of the best leaders I've ever met. And I actually compare them to guys that I know and ladies I know that have run big countries. I'm not exaggerating when I say that these jobs, Dan's job, you guys, I want you to picture this. And by the way, I don't pretend to know all of the roles, but it's not just strategy. It's not just preparation. It's not just recruiting. It's the boosters. It's the program's brand. It's their reputation. It's the energy level. It's the families that he's involved with. It's alumni of past players that are in his life to still text him and message him and have life problems.

• 30:16Ed Mylett?

  The bigness of this job is the role of a CEO of multiple companies at any given time. And I don't think most people appreciate that when they just see the basketball roll out there and your guys make some shots, right? And I and you're laughing when I say it, but based on all of that, I asked you this off camera, but I thought it was a really honest answer. Are you enjoying it and is it what you thought it would be? Like, for example, you won. I I'm curious, you win, that moment happens, I watched you when it happened. So there's that moment and then there's the after. Is this what you thought it would be? Is it? Is it as enjoyable as you thought it would be? Is it? You know what I'm asking? Is it or isn't it?

• 30:57Speaker 05

  You might have to ask a couple of follow up questions. I could go in a number of directions. That I mean, that moment with the the way that you feel about the group of people that you did that with. Right, like the memories you'll have with that team, the players, the staff. Right, that right there, I mean, that is like stuff that you give you goosebumps and you'll see a picture or you get together with the group. And and think about. You know, the seasons, you know, and and just how hard it is to do what we did and then the manner in which we do did it, the way we dominated.

• 31:36Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 31:38Speaker 05

  But I mean, a lot of the other parts of it, it no.

• 31:43Speaker 05

  Yeah. No, man, like I mean, there there becomes in a way. That overall feeling becomes now something that you're probably putting greater pressure on yourself.

• 31:56Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 31:57Speaker 05

  Experience was so incredible that you you you you're dying to feel that again with another group of people and experience that whole incredible, like, you know, mission accomplished feeling for for that lot for that group, I mean, for this group of men that work so hard for it, you know, so like that comes like this.

• 32:21Speaker 05

  Almost feels like a like a an addiction to trying to get that feeling back, almost like like a drug you want back. And then, you know, I I love the work, man, like my my father and like our family in the city we grew up in was just like super blue collar and like

• 32:45Speaker 05

  We're best when we're busy and working and so like there was a time period where we weren't practicing and we're doing like a bunch of events and like all that, which is great. I mean, you're getting honored and White House and all these different things, but I had a couple like panic attacks that my wife had too, kinda. Hey, get your breathing under control because I was getting kinda tired of all that shit and I wanted to go back on the next mission. So I've been a lot happier since I've been back in practice with like next year's team. I feel like my mood's been better. And I fell into a little valley like once we got like a week past winning it.

• 33:26Speaker 05

  And before we've got started on this next mission, I found myself in some some weird emotional places.

• 33:33Ed Mylett?

  I relate to that, by the way. The wins in my life have uh, they were as good as I thought. They didn't last as long as I thought. It didn't last as long and I found that they even last short. That drug analogy is pretty good. Like at some point, the high I uh, I wanna go back and get it again, but I enjoy the work part of it more than anything. I wish I could figure that out about myself. You probably could too, like I actually enjoy the work more than I do the celebrating of the work after it's done. And you seem to be that exact same way to me. Do you

• 34:09Ed Mylett?

  the the secret sauce of you, if you could brag, because you just, I don't think it's even possible to get you to do this, but I'd like you to try. Someone said, hey, what's the secret for you? That makes your secret sauce. You've turned everywhere you went around.

• 34:25Ed Mylett?

  It was not easy to do what he did in this day and age with the way recruiting works and guys leaving. It's just, it's I think it's as difficult as it's ever been to build a consistent winner in college sports. And is there, if someone said your secret is, it's your preparation, it's your work ethic, it's your energy level, it's the X's and O's. It's your ability to recruit. If someone said, what is yours and you were willing to brag a little bit, what would it be?

• 34:50Speaker 05

  I I would say that the

• 34:53Speaker 05

  The chase or of the mastery of all the things that go into being a coach, right? Like the, you said it before, I mean, most people think, I mean, that this is phys ed class, you know, that it's just like, you know, hey, fellows, you know, it's very complex. I mean, it's, you know, you have the culture of your organization that you're looking to absolutely perfect and you're looking for any crack of it in any behavior or any habit of all of your people on a daily basis, right? So, you know, you've got the cultural, you better, you know, your recruiting practices and your ability to attract elite talent, right?

• 35:36Speaker 05

  Your, your ability as to coach to help your players, you know, develop and acquire and develop new actual basketball skills. You're also trying to develop, you know, tremendous personal habits, right? So you're, you're chasing the best way to really help develop better men, to help develop better people. You know, you're constantly, you know, trying to learn and grow as a tactical coach, right? Offensive strategy, the defensive strategy, there's all these different ways that you can attack your opponent tactically during the game. You know, the marketing and branding of your, of your program. Are you, are you creating the excitement in terms of selling tickets and, and big

• 36:20Speaker 05

  social media presence? So it's, I think it's the chase man of becoming like the absolute best in every aspect of being a head coach. And then my foundation is super strong. And I mean, I, my, my foundation starts with my faith, my faith in Jesus Christ. And then, you know, in my foundation at home with, with my, my home team, I mean, my wife is absolutely the perfect person on planet earth for me. I was incredibly fortunate to meet her at Seton Hall at, at the end of my career there when I was, I was a mess. Or I wasn't in a great place, a mess may be too strong, but, you know, and then, and

• 37:05Speaker 05

  my sons Danny and Andrew, I mean, I, obviously a lot of credit goes to my brother and my dad and my mom and Jersey City and just that, that family as athletes. But that foundation that I have at home and my faith.

• 37:21Ed Mylett?

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• 38:06Ed Mylett?

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• 38:50Ed Mylett?

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• 39:23Speaker 05

  Like I can handle anything that comes with this job, the criticism, uh, the losing, the going through tough stretches. I mean, I am built, um, you know, to handle everything that comes with this job because of, you know, my background, man, my foundation.

• 39:41Ed Mylett?

  I'm impressed. I did not know that your faith was that strong, nor that you professed it. And by the way, you don't need me to be impressed with you, but I am impressed with that. Do you share that when you recruit? Do the kids know that as part of coming there that, hey, FYI, this is where I stand on these things? Or is that sort of, you know, found out later?

• 40:00Speaker 05

  No, we, um, I mean, I share, you know, the, the most important thing for me, I think, um, it was probably midway through my, my Rhode Island tenure and, you know, and I'm, I'm, I'm struggling emotionally. You know, I'm, I'm just not, I'm, I'm not the best version of myself. I'm not at my maximum, uh, you know, my maximum abilities as a coach. So, you know, I'm, I'm not sure. I think it was maybe, uh, your conversation with, with Billy Donovan, former, you know, head coach.

• 40:31Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 40:31Speaker 05

  And incredible coaches, one of the best coaches of my generation. He would just start talking to me about like my morning routine and I had none. You know, it was pancakes.

• 40:43Ed Mylett?

  Really?

• 40:44Speaker 05

  No, it was pancakes. It was maybe naughty. It was maybe, um, you know, show my toughness by starving myself. You know, it was just, you know, like just immature approach to like being at my absolute, you know, highest level of like human performance and, and highest energy and clarity of thought. So I, I, you know, Billy got me on like morning routine, man, and, and, you know, starting by getting to bed early, prioritizing sleep as much as possible. And then, um, you know, but just getting up by, uh, uh, at least being up by six at the latest. You know, your prayer, uh, you know, your spiritual readings and your prayer, you know, your, your meditation practice, um,

• 41:26Speaker 05

  you know, for me, my journaling, you know, whether it's free writing or gratitude journaling, you know, and then I get right to an hour of, you know, of, of hard physical training and then. You'll boom, I'm in the office by, you know, eight, eight thirty, I think then ready to attack the day and set a tempo and a pace and an energy and you're just deal with whatever comes my way when I come in the building.

• 41:49Ed Mylett?

  When you do your meditation, do you focus on your breath? I'm just curious, is there anything particularly you do when you meditate? For me, it's my breath work. It's the easiest way for me to get out of my head.

• 41:57Speaker 05

  Yeah, um, and, uh, you know, for me, I needed the guidance.

• 42:02Ed Mylett?

  Um.

• 42:04Speaker 05

  You know, because I will, you know, I will find myself, uh, I need to be reminded, um,

• 42:11Speaker 05

  by someone. So I use that calm app and we make sure that we get everyone in the program has like free subscription. Uh, that, um, or, or any meditation app that they're comfortable with, because I just, I believe that it's changed a lot of my career. That and that, that morning routine and that meditation time, I do it in the morning, I do it at night. Um, if I'm having trouble sleeping, I'll play one of the sleep stories or

• 42:38Ed Mylett?

  So do I.

• 42:39Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 42:39Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, I use calm app every day. I'm not, I'm not here to endorse it because they don't sponsor the show, but I do use calm every day. And I got to tell you guys, um, you know, it's so amazing to me that people will listen to my show week after week and almost every elite performer at whatever they do has changed their life with their morning routine, whether that's a cold plunge or their workout, their prayer, their meditation. I'm, I, I'm really surprised to hear that you journal and do gratitude journaling as well. I'm just surprised that, you know, a man's man coached does that because I do it too, but I have to tell you that. And then yet so many of you still have not established a consistent morning routine. And the one thing I will say, and I want to take coaches time up, but no matter what that routine is, and I, mine resembles yours.

• 43:22Ed Mylett?

  Is that what it does is it gives a predictability to the rest of your life. If the beginning of your day starts out willy nilly responding to text messages and everything else, you're just sort of a reactor. You just react through your entire life. And at least if you have something you do for thirty minutes or an hour or two hours to start your day, the probability of you having some measure control over the rest of your day has increased. And I just don't know how you're going to compete in business or life against people who are routine like this when you're not. I just, I don't think you can compete against them.

• 43:52Speaker 05

  I'm competing against, uh, I'm competing against killers, you know, like

• 43:57Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 43:58Speaker 05

  I mean,

• 44:00Speaker 05

  The Big East Conference, which I coach in, I mean, it's a bunch of unbelievable coaches. You know, it's when you get to this level of sport, I mean, this is the best of the best. The sharpest in every aspect of, I mean, they're ruthless, they're sharp and ruthless.

• 44:23Speaker 05

  You know, and they have very few holes in their game and I want to put myself to start the day at an advantage on people that I'm competing with that that aren't doing that, that aren't sharpening their tools, that aren't, you know, taking advantage of the ability to, you know, to think clearer. I mean, we're in the decision-making business and a lot of the decisions that we've got to make that will define your career and your level of success, they've got to happen so quickly. And I always say to people too, I'd be long gone from this level of coaching

• 45:06Speaker 05

  if I didn't have these things. I mean, people see me on game night. I mean, I, you know, I've, I got thrown out of a game of one of our most important games last year. I've been ejected from games twice since I've been at UConn. I have just a history of sparring with officials. I've become the ire of most opposing teams' fanbase because of the energy that I coach with.

• 45:34Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 45:35Speaker 05

  I had our G A Ed do camera time machine at Fox, you know, like, how much more camera time am I getting than the opposing head coach? Just because of my antics and my energy and the way that I show up on game night, I was getting twice as much time. So I should have had some patches, man, some like, like a race car driver or a tennis player.

• 45:58Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, right.

• 46:00Speaker 05

  So, and if I wasn't doing these things to kind of calm myself and me to like, go beyond that line, I probably would have melted down by now had that incident because, you know, my engine runs high.

• 46:17Ed Mylett?

  Well, that's the thing I was just gonna say, Coach, is that one of the things that you have to know yourself as a human being. And if you have a propensity to run hot, which you and I both do, I run hot. So I have, I don't really have to worry. Some people have to worry about something else. So if you're listening to this, it may be different. But if you're wired like the two of us to the extent that I don't have to worry about getting cranked up. I have to worry about emotional control. I have to worry about not letting it get away from me. I have to worry about when I'm in criticism mode of going a little bit too hard, not, not, I don't, I don't lack candor. And so you have to know yourself and what Coach is saying is, and here's the other element, I'm gonna brag about you. If I were a kid, I want to play for a guy like you.

• 47:00Ed Mylett?

  I think more and more, it is elite. He is competing against killers. If I were a kid, I want to look at what this dude's fitness looks like. What's his routine look like? What's his emotional control look like? Right? What's his faith look like? What are his disciplines? I don't want to be coached by a guy that's not got that stuff together. I want to be coached by a guy that I can model, a real role model. And when I watched you the last few years, that's the number one thing that dawned upon me about you. And I'm just, I know you don't want a bunch of comments, I'm like, look, and I don't mean this to be criticism against your peers, but I just mean, look at him and look at that other guy. Like just visually, one of these dudes is up earlier and hitting the gym. One of these dudes is working on himself. One of these dudes models what he's telling his kids to do.

• 47:44Ed Mylett?

  When I went to, I've been to some football practices and watching Dabo or Coach Saban even run full freaking speed at practice themselves. They're running full speed, right? They're running full speed with the players in between the drills. Their coaches move at full speed. I'm like, I want to play for that guy. Not the guy sitting on the freaking golf cart going, go, go, go. I want that guy. And I think that's true in business, everybody listening to you. I, I want that as a dad. I'm not telling my kids to work hard. They see me up before them. They see me in the office working when they've gone to bed. And Coach is nodding if you're, if you're on audio, but that's a big damn deal to me. I think it probably is for you. I feel like I can demand as much out of you.

• 48:29Ed Mylett?

  Maybe you feel this way, Dan, because I'm demanding it out of me.

• 48:32Speaker 05

  Yeah, I mean, they, when I come in here in the morning, you know, I come in, uh, I come in with my shirt wet. You know, like I, when I'm coming in here, I'm coming in from, from having just worked out at home, just driving into the facility. Uh, and now subconsciously, that's not planned. I'm sure subconsciously somewhere in the back of my mind, I know I want to send some type of message that way, but um. I- it's not contrived. I've just always felt in terms of just um, the, the credibility uh, of the culture that you're trying to build, man. And, and, and it's not like I'm, I'm just trying to like,

• 49:16Speaker 05

  not be a hypocrite and like, I'm just vain and trying to like, encourage people. You know, the fact that like, I've got these behaviors and practices in, in, in place in my life embedded, so that I'm at my very best, like, I've got a great marriage and, and a great connection with my, with my children. Right? Like, all these things are making me just a more powerful coach. Um. And, and people can, people can, your, your people can feel that from you. I mean, if, if you're off the court, personal life isn't as a leader and your personal habits,

• 49:59Speaker 05

  maybe you, you work out a little bit, but you're not reading and learning and growing your mind and, and, and studying film about different tactical things. Like, if you're not modeling, doing absolute everything that you could possibly be to be an absolute elite performer, both for yourself internally to like, be at your best, have incredible confidence. I mean, I don't.

• 50:24Speaker 05

  I'm nervous as shit up until um up until the anthem, you know, like and I'm got the only thing that you had confidence from is preparation. I mean, everything, I mean, the mantras are great. And like if your preparation wasn't absolutely top, top, top shelf, confidence is gonna not be great. But I I get nervous as shit before the game. And, you know, I'd say that that's more modeling from my dad. I mean, I me and my brother would watch our dad lose a high school game now, and he wouldn't lose many of them. I mean, my dad is one of the greatest coaches of in any at any level. If my dad decided to do the college, the

• 51:09Speaker 05

  coaching career thing, he would have went, he would have blown through college and been an NBA good as Coach K or Phil Jackson or any of the coaches that in in basketball. I'm just, I'm just telling you, ask anyone that's been around them and watched them work. He was so far ahead of his time. But and he would lose a game and he wouldn't go to work the next day. I mean, he couldn't get out of bed the next day. I mean, there was a level of almost shame that that he was broadcasting that I think me and my brother have kind of pulled into everything we do, especially basketball wise, and how we look

• 51:50Speaker 05

  at those like competitions and how much of our identity is wrapped up in in what's going on in our basketball life.

• 52:02Speaker 01

  Mr. President, my company for me of the explosion on our rig on October 2nd. Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all heap the blame on me.

• 52:11Speaker 02

  Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess, and Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and the Revenant.

• 52:19Speaker 03

  What would happen if I stopped doing it? You start, you freeze in there, that's what.

• 52:23Speaker 02

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 52:26Speaker 03

  I'm not the first then.

• 52:27Speaker 02

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17 not a middle without parent.

• 52:34Ed Mylett?

  You love to compete. I just say one thing to you about that. By the way, I said that I'd come on his dad to come on my radar is when his brother was playing at Duke and they did a story on his dad. And this was back then. I don't know when this was. It was, I don't know, late eighties, early nineties. And they had said at that time about your dad, back then, that this guy could easily be winning a national championship as a division one coach if he chose to. And on to the NBA. I think like in leadership, everybody, one thing that Dan does. Is that there's motivational people and you should be motivational. Coach has that box checked. There's inspirational, which is different. That's to reach people in spirit. But nowadays, if you're going to be a great leader, I think you have to have aspirational qualities to you.

• 53:17Ed Mylett?

  Where people aspire to be a little bit more like you. And that's something a lot of coaches, I think, take for granted. Like, I'll be motivational. I'll be inspirational. But in terms of you aspiring to be like me, I checked that box 20 years ago. That's for you, young guys. The thing I admire about you, I think in 10 years when I come back, this guy's going to be fit. He's going to have a more disciplined routine. He's going to be still preparing like crazy. And I think if you're going to get to the top of the top against these killers and whatever you do, there's got to be an aspirational quality because as a leader, the best stuff is caught, not taught. And that's what you got from your dad. You caught it. It wasn't just taught. He didn't sit you down and say all these things. I'm sure he did some of them, but you just caught them. You saw them.

• 53:57Ed Mylett?

  And that's one of the things I admire. I want to give people hope about themselves because they're listening to this like, oh, wow, these two guys routines, working out, cold this, meditations. You know, come into work sweaty, get up early, get in there by eight. Give you guys a little hope. If you don't mind telling them, the night before, I think it was the national championship game where you end up winning, you end up in a conversation with PJ Carlissimo, who was your coach. And you kind of wanted to get something off your chest, if I felt like in that conversation. Uh, that you've been carrying for a long time. By the way, I still carry my version of that myself, but why don't you tell them what you shared because I think people will go, whoa, that was this guy. And now he's this other version of himself. So that Carlissimo was his coach. At Seton Hall. What, what did you say to him if you don't mind sharing and why?

• 54:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, so going back to, you know, when Coach recruited me at Seton Hall and it's like he literally had recruited the perfect team. Um, and needed me to be for Seton Hall, what my brother was was being for Duke. I mean, we, we basically lived the same life growing up, right? We had the same, we did the same drills. We grew up in the same neighborhood. We played in the same parks. We had the same incredible high school coach. So, um, yeah, and, and, you know, my career just, you know, at, at Seton Hall, it just, it didn't, it didn't go like that.

• 55:22Speaker 05

  You know, I, I wasn't ready for, um, I, I wasn't who he needed me to be as a player, as a point guard, as a leader. Um, and I had a chance, if, if I was that person, um, at that point in career, my off the court was a mess. I, I was, I was, I was drinking a lot. Uh, I wasn't committed to the game. I was a screw up in the classroom. Um, I, I really, my, my, my table wasn't very balanced. I, I might, everything was a mess. Um, yeah, and PJ needed me to be, to be more like my brother.

• 55:59Speaker 05

  And if he got that, that was a national championship team. I mean, we, we were, we were a two seed in the NCAA tournament. You know, even with me as a mess off the court. Um, but it was like two lottery picks, another NBA draft pick. Uh, another guy that goes on to play 12 years in the NBA. I mean, I was literally, you know, the missing piece on that team. Point guard was the, was, was the issue and, like that haunted me for a lot of years. PJ moved on. He moved on to the NBA. I finished my career playing for another coach at Seton Hall. So he left before.

• 56:38Speaker 05

  You know, I gave him really anything. I mean, I didn't give him anywhere close to the best version of me, um, you know, before he headed to the NBA and we didn't have much interaction after that. Um, you know, I was embarrassed plus and blaming him, you know, like in my mind, it was, it was PJ. The system was wrong. Um, you know, I wasn't playing in the right offensive system. I wasn't being used correctly. I mean, it probably took me until like my thirties to realize how much of a mess I was in my twenties or my late teens.

• 57:16Speaker 05

  Um, so yeah, I mean, like no interaction or not much. And then, um, when I get back into college coaching, he actually, I hadn't had a conversation with him maybe in like 15, 18 years. Wow, wow, wow. Yeah, like long time. And, uh, so he's the former head coach at Wagner College, right? Before, before he goes to Seton Hall. So I've got to kind of call him first time in 18 years, uh, and ask him to call Wagner on my behalf. The A D, the president, because there's no bigger deals at Wagner College than PJ Carlissimo. Um, so that kind of like reconnected us and

• 58:01Speaker 05

  we had a, a pretty lengthy phone conversation and he actually like pulled some strings and helped me get that first college gig. And then we stay in touch a little bit over the course of, you know, the next like 10 years between me now, starting this year's NCAA tournament and Ed like, in the back of my mind, I think about him a lot and I have a lot of regrets about my career that haunts me a lot. So, um, I get out to Albany and like we're playing Iona and Rick Pitino and like our, our last two trips to the Anselmo tournament and they ended first round exit Maryland.

• 58:46Speaker 05

  New Mexico State, the next year, first round exit. UConn's not thrilled with me.

• 58:53Speaker 05

  But, you know, I've long since turned off my notifications on Twitter for when

• 58:59Ed Mylett?

  I imagine.

• 58:59Speaker 05

  Folks are pissed off at me here in the state of Connecticut, but it's a pressure cooker going into that first round game against Iona. I'm in Albany, Rick Pitino's over there. You know, all the prognosticators are talking about, you know, this guy's flamed out first round two years in a row and, you know, the big bad Rick Pitino's coming.

• 59:23Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, I heard that.

• 59:25Speaker 05

  Yeah, well, and now I've got PJ, who's like, sitting next to me, like on the court, this kind of figure from my past that I'm like, emotional with. But so he's there, man, like, first round, into the round of 32, I'm doing like, pregame interviews with him on the radio and I'm getting choked up in every one of them and I'm crying like a baby.

• 59:51Ed Mylett?

  Wow.

• 59:51Speaker 05

  Like, every one of them, just kind of hours before the game.

• 59:56Ed Mylett?

  Really?

• 59:57Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, because and, and just the sight of him and just how much emotion from what that time felt like, the reminder of just, I had some dark times at, at Seton Hall as a player, man. You know, points that, you know, deep depression, thoughts of, you know, of suicide and, and worse. You know, that plan for him kind of, I think, brought up in that time and then, you know, it just became incredibly cool, man. Now you're in Vegas, week 16, the team's playing great, we're blowing these teams off the court, and now I'm like, having conversations with them like, hey, Coach, I'm sorry. By the end, man, you get to Houston

• 1:00:41Speaker 05

  and by the end, like, you're hanging out with your coach and you're, by the end of those interviews, man, like, you're just, you're not crying, it's more like, you're proud of your journey. Those are like therapy sessions where I got a chance to like, cry a lot of shit out, man.

• 1:00:58Ed Mylett?

  Wow.

• 1:01:00Ed Mylett?

  Wow, even now, I'm kind of looking at you. You look a little different than you did earlier. It's still, still there.

• 1:01:07Speaker 05

  Yeah, that man, I mean, he, uh, you know, it's like, part of what hurt me a little bit in college was when you play for a high school coach who's as incredible as my dad, you almost got to college practices and like you're finishing the sentence of your coaches. Like I played for such a master in college, it was almost like hard for me to, you know, to get that from any other coach I played for, because my dad was, he was at such a level, um, so.

• 1:01:40Ed Mylett?

  I gotta tell you, it's interesting watching him. I, some of you that are listening to audio, you should see his face. And, uh, you know, I'm 52 and I could have given more in college. I have a recurring nightmare about three times a year to this day. Um, I talk about when I go talk to college teams, I held a little bit in reserve in college. And here I am, whatever the good things are that happened in my life, if you flip the camera on, I've been in interviews, I look a lot like you look right now. And it just, the reason that's valuable, maybe my favorite part of our interview is because the one thing you don't want to ever have in life, everybody is a regret about effort, a regret about commitment. If, if you give everything to something and it doesn't work out, you kind of live with that a little bit.

• 1:02:23Ed Mylett?

  But when you know you left something in the tank, you know, you let teammates down or family down. I don't think any amount of winning anywhere else completely makes up for it at any time in your life. And I'm watching this man who's at the top of his craft, he's number one in the world at what he does. And still shoulders hunched over, the face changed. Um, his head's shaking, you know, it's, it's an emotional thing when you're, when you don't give your best to something. And in a lot of things in life, you don't get a second chance. And that includes your marriage, it's not going well. Maybe you shouldn't quit on it so soon. Maybe make another run. Maybe it's as a dad or a mom, maybe it's in your business. You know, maybe there's something you know you could be given more to.

• 1:03:04Ed Mylett?

  You don't want to get to the end of your life and run out of time because he can't go back and play college basketball. I can't go back and play college baseball. At some point, you'll be able to play your life again. And you don't want to get out of this thing with that feeling for eternity. Right? You want to get out of this thing having given it. So I really appreciate you sharing that, Coach. You want to say, you were, you were gonna say something extra there? I didn't want to cut you off.

• 1:03:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's where you, you see, I mean, that, um,

• 1:03:27Speaker 05

  You know, for the frustrating part, the part of haunting part is when you know the commitment that you made just to get to that point. I mean, the, the, the, the things that me and my brother did, the commitment on a daily basis and the way, you know, that my dad pushed us from such a young age, when you're talking about, you know, my brother is five, five eleven, never dunked the ball in college, um, you know, but is maybe the greatest point guard in the history of college basketball. It probably isn't, shouldn't even be a maybe, but he's the most decorated college basketball point guard of all time, all time assist leader, two chips, seventh pick

• 1:04:07Speaker 05

  in the draft at five eleven, one sixty. I mean, that's the type of people that my dad raised in terms of

• 1:04:16Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:17Speaker 05

  What, what he, what, you know, what he pushed us to do, you know, in terms of sacrificing, um, a lot of other things in your pursuits, you know, like understanding, um, you know, the thing that you want to build your life around, you know, for us, I think, you know, my, my, my dad understood, um, you know, that if he raised us a certain way, I mean, that the standards were, were so incredibly high and it wasn't exclusive to basketball. I mean, it was, you know, if you got a, a test or a quiz, um, you know, that had something maybe with a seven in front of it, you know, like seventy five, you know, and forget failing something. I mean, I, we didn't, listen, we didn't have to get straight A's or, or, or,

• 1:05:03Speaker 05

  or all nineties if you're a little kid, but like, man, I was scared to death if that thing said seventy one.

• 1:05:10Ed Mylett?

  Um, you know,

• 1:05:10Ed Mylett?

  Do you think when he held you to that standard, that, because I think holding someone high standard, I want to ask you about this, since you're on that. I think there's a hidden message when you hold someone to a super high standard, which is the hidden message in it is, I believe in you. I think you're capable of this. And that's why I think holding high standards not only transforms an organization, but it can transform a person, that it says that you're this amazing, this should be the standard you can perform at and live at. I think that's one of the hidden things about high standards. You agree with that?

• 1:05:45Speaker 05

  Yeah, I think you're. You know, you you've got to be ruled by um you know, by your internal, right? I mean, the the the external stuff, it's just, it's not going to do it. I mean, I'm looking at the window of the banner. You know, I see that we we got five banners. I could see the two thousand twenty three, but it doesn't feel the same way as it did when I first saw it. Right? Like, and and if you're not driven by like the the level of your work, um, you know, the the the the feeling, I think, uh, that gets instilled in you that like, like, everything that I'm gonna do, like,

• 1:06:26Speaker 05

  I'm gonna do, I know, like, it sounds simple, but like, everything that we ever did, like, you know, it it had to be at our absolute best level. Um, you know, it if we we would never that like, do as a kid in, you know, we were in Sunday mass and, you know, me and Bob were were were talking during the homily, like, you know, like, like, we couldn't act like, like, uh, we couldn't be neighborhood, like, neighborhood asshole kids, you know?

• 1:06:54Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 1:06:54Speaker 05

  Like, we had to be respectful of our teachers. We had to be like respectful of older guys in the neighborhood that we can learn something from. Like, we had to do well and, you know, we had to do all of our homework, uh, you know? You have to be the smartest guy, but the effort always had to be great, right? The, you know, the the the the end product didn't always have to be, you know, the A plus game, but your the effort that you put into the outcome had to be done a certain way. Um, and my dad trained us incredibly well and it, you know, it's it's it's it's sprung into every aspect of of of friendships, relationships, right? Everything. It's not just as a basketball coach.

• 1:07:38Ed Mylett?

  Okay, I want to ask you two things before we finish, because I've thought a lot. I want to go back for a second. I've thought a lot about when I was there, why I didn't give full effort.

• 1:07:48Ed Mylett?

  And I, I don't know if you have, but I did. And I'm not sure I'm right about this, but I think. Like your dad held you to these standards, right? I think part of that was you knew he believed in you. Maybe he never got all the accolade or admiration or whatever from him, but the hidden messages. We don't act like other families in church. We don't do this stuff. We're not just everybody else, right? That's the hidden man. We're not better, but we're not like that. You know, we gotta, we, we conduct ourselves a certain way, our preparation, our effort. And when I got to that next level. If I look back on it, and I, I want to ask you this because I think this is what most people struggle with at every aspect of their life. I've really unpacked it, like, why? By the way, and you wouldn't know if you watched me that I wasn't giving full effort.

• 1:08:31Ed Mylett?

  I, I was still there pretty early. I still took extra BP. I was still in the gym. But I knew. There was a level of preparation and focus and my diet, my nutrition. Why didn't I? Cause I knew I was on limited time. I knew I only had the four years back then. Why didn't I? And I think if I'm being honest, when I got to that next level. There was a small part of me that did not believe I was. Good enough at that level. That when the level changed. When the demand changed, and this could be the level of, look, you're making 80,000 bucks a year. Now you're making 200 and you could go to a million. Right? But for me, if I really unpack it and I'm honest as a 52 year old man and I look back. There was a little bit of me that wasn't sure.

• 1:09:17Ed Mylett?

  I was that good at that level. And I think somehow that caused me to either sabotage it or hold a little in reserve or have an excuse or blame other people. And the level change caused a slight, I mean, just miniscule lack of belief. That ended up in this effort that was 99.8% or whatever it was of what I could have given. What do you think about that?

• 1:09:41Speaker 05

  Boom.

• 1:09:43Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:43Speaker 05

  Boom, right? Yeah. I mean, it's a.

• 1:09:47Speaker 05

  You know, and I think it, you feel that and maybe that's why um this approach that I've taken in in coaching has been so uh um maniacal in a way, or maybe even over the top in terms of commitment and obsessed with life hacks and and little tiny advantages because um you know, I blew it as a as an athlete when I got that that big stage and I was afraid and the self doubt was there and I wanted to have the excuse that I shared with you like my off the court was a mess, right? I my I I didn't have, you know, meaningful relationships.

• 1:10:32Speaker 05

  I was a I was a I was a struggling student that didn't go to class. I mean, I had all those built in excuses. Um but I do think and and I suffered a lot in my career. I mean that, you know, my failure because of my inability to to even try to be at my best. I mean, it it put me into the darkest places where that you can get to and it trust me, it's hard for a Hurley um to be that vulnerable back then in like the mid to early nineties. I mean, Brene Brown wouldn't run around talking about vulnerability much, right? There weren't many like Brene, you know, and so back then like Dan Hurley quit the team because of mental health. I mean, like it took some, you know, it took a little

• 1:11:17Speaker 05

  bit of something to be able to kind of step away and understand I was in the danger zone of maybe um, you know, potentially committing suicide is where I got to when when stuff got real bad because of the bubbling feeling of regret. Um but I'm also at I'm pouring all of that into into my coaching career. That's why I think, you know, you um and and the day that I can't, I will not linger. You know, once I get past this level of of of energy, commitment, the the desire to to learn and grow and improve and master every aspect and give every one of these players every single thing I got. Once I want to

• 1:12:01Speaker 05

  be on the golf course instead of being in the gym, once like once I would rather be somewhere else than not on the court with my guys on that.

• 1:12:11Ed Mylett?

  I've enjoyed this so much. I really do not want it to end. It's flown by for me. So I

• 1:12:19Ed Mylett?

  but win another national championship and come back on next year. So we can talk about that. Will you please do that?

• 1:12:24Speaker 05

  Recurring guest, right? I go, uh, we're in the mix for six, right? We want, you know, strides for five last year. We feel like we got the team that's, uh, that's in the mix for number six here. And Ed, I've become a recurring guest whenever I win it, I'm back.

• 1:12:38Ed Mylett?

  Okay. Well, you don't have to win, but I want to throw that out there because then, because I know you really need that incentive to do it, coach. I know that'll get you up a little bit extra early tomorrow. I go, what's on the line here is not the alumni, the boosters, my legacy, my players' lives. It's I can get back on Ed Mylett's show. Wow. This is, this is gonna get you up earlier.

• 1:12:56Speaker 05

  Ed, it's like, it's people like you, uh, like we don't, you know, um, this is like, I'm a byproduct in terms of the, the leader that I try to be and what we try to accomplish. It's, it's like, it's, um, you know, it's, it's the books and, and the content of things that you put out either on social or, or what you write or, or, or what you put out in terms of podcasts that like help create the, the mindset, the mentality. Like it doesn't happen by accident. It's like, it's listening, uh, and reading the stuff that guys like you, you know, produce helps put me in a position to do this. So man, I appreciate you having me on, man.

• 1:13:38Ed Mylett?

  Thank you, brother. I want to ask you one last question. Um, I appreciate that. Ironically, you just did it here today. This has been a masterclass. Like to be really honest with you,

• 1:13:48Ed Mylett?

  I'm probably gonna let my son hear this one before it comes out because it's, it's, it's a masterclass on getting it. You guys, you just got an hour with the best of the best in the world at what he does. He, I mean, you don't often get in the brain and the heart of somebody that performs at this level in their prime. Like he said, you get them 15 years later when they write a book about what they used to do. But to be able to get them in the midst of doing it is incredibly rare and not something I take for granted. The last question's about pressure because of what you just said. How do you deal with it? How do you deal with for the players and for yourself? And do you feel it? You just want a national championship. You know, you guys finished fourth in the Big East or something next year. That's probably not going to cut it. So do you feel pressure? Is it healthy?

• 1:14:31Ed Mylett?

  Um, do you turn it into something? How do you deal with that for you or your players?

• 1:14:35Speaker 05

  Yeah, I feel, um, I mean, I, I feel incredible pressure to win every game.

• 1:14:42Speaker 05

  Um, you know, I think that, you know, your, your, your physiology, your, your, your emotions, I mean, your, your, your mental health during the course of like the five month season, man, the roller coaster ride. You, you, again, like your foundation better be strong because, um, you know, you're, you're under in intense scrutiny. You're under, um, you know, intense criticism when it's going bad, but far, far greater than that is like this competitive animal that you have inside you that just, you know, I feel like I coach every game like I've never won a game. You know, I coach, I got two chips on my shoulder when I'm coach, I don't have one.

• 1:15:26Speaker 05

  Um, part of it is I was a high school coach for nine years while a lot of the people that I'm now competing with, uh, we're, we're coaching at the level that I'm at right now, you know, so, um, you know, when I was coaching at a much lower level, you know, these guys were at the top of the sport. Now I'm at the top of the sport with them and I want to prove that I'm better. Um, that to me as a competitor, I think about that, uh, all the time. I want to be better than the other guy. Um, and, you know, for me, terms of overall, like I almost, the analogy, I think for me is like, I'm almost feel like a batter that is trying to hit through the cycle with his career.

• 1:16:10Speaker 05

  And, and I feel like I got the triple, you know, like there's a lot more that I want to do. I want to win. I want to win more of them. I want to win the conference championships. I want to finish number one in the country. I want to keep putting players in, in the lottery and the NBA draft. I want to, I want, I want my assistant coaches to become head coaches. I mean, I, I want to be like the program in college basketball over the course of the next, you know, bunch of years. So in doing that right now, I feel like I hit the triple. Home runs out there, the double, the single, but the triple is the hardest one to get, man.

• 1:16:47Speaker 05

  Getting that first one, man, I feel like, you know, my confidence in what we do is gonna make me and make us harder to beat from here on out. It's not gonna win us anything. But our belief here at UConn basketball, we show up in a certain way where we look, I think, already like we believe, but our belief in what we do is higher now.

• 1:17:13Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, well, it's been validated. Your system, your processes, your preparation, your style, everything, your culture, your standards, your identity, it's been validated. And now it's just a matter of running up the score. I gotta tell you, Dan, I enjoyed today just so much. I not only admire you, I really like you. And I told you this off camera, if there's anything I can ever do for you, brother, I'm a real fan of you. And I'm rooting for UConn. I'm rooting for your family. I'm rooting for your players. And I'm rooting for you. So thank you for today.

• 1:17:44Speaker 05

  Well, I appreciate you, man. This was awesome.

• 1:17:46Ed Mylett?

  It was awesome. All right, everybody. Hey, share this episode. You just listened to one of the greats in their prime, like in the midst of what they're doing. And I have a funny feeling we're having him back next year. Because we got one thing he's got to do to do it, but I got a feeling he's coming back. All right, everybody. God bless you. Maxed out your life.