E552 Vigilante Christmas

Theo is back with a solo episode to talk about how he’s been getting into the Christmas spirit, what’s really going on with the New Jersey drones and the pros and cons of vigilantism. He also responds to some of your voicemails. ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ Prize Picks: First time users, download the PrizePicks app, use code THEO and PrizePicks will instantly give you $50 on your first lineup of $5 or more. https://www.prizepicks.com/ Kraken: Go to http://kraken.com/theo to buy Bitcoin on the #1 crypto exchange, as ranked by Forbes Morgan & Morgan: If you’re ever injured, visit https://forthepeople.com/thispastweekend or dial Pound LAW (#529). Their fee is free unless they win. Shopify: Go to http://shopify.com/theo to sign up for a $1-per-month trial period. BlueChew: Go to http://bluechew.com to try BlueChew FREE - just pay $5 shipping at checkout. Manscaped: Go to http://manscaped.com and use code THEO to get 20% off and free international shipping. Rocket Money: Go to http://rocketmoney.com/theo to cancel your unwanted subscriptions with Rocket Money. ------------------------------------------------- Music: “Shine” by Bishop Gunn Bishop Gunn - Shine ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: [email protected] Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Trevyn https://www.instagram.com/trevyn.s/ Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Producer: Cam https://www.instagram.com/cam__george/ Producer: Colin https://instagram.com/colin_reiner Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Theo Von?

  I have some new tour dates to let you know about. I'll be in East Lansing. I'll be in Toledo, Ohio, Rama, Ontario, in the Canada. Pittsburgh, PA, Eugene, Oregon, Kennewick, Washington, Seattle, Washington, Victoria, BC, in the Canada. College Station, Texas, Belton, Texas, San Antonio, Durant, Amarillo, Oxford, Mississippi, hada hada, Fayetteville, Arkansas, Tuscaloosa, Alabama, and Tallahassee, Florida, Rosemont, Illinois, Winnipeg, and Calgary in the Canada.

• 0:44Theo Von?

  Get all your tickets at theovon.com/TOUR. And thank you so much for your support. Put a bow on it.

• 0:55Theo Von?

  Put a bow on it. That's the end of the year, baby. In the books. That's it. Wrap it up.

• 1:11Theo Von?

  They used to have a fellow in our neighborhood when I was growing up and he had,

• 1:16Theo Von?

  affliction, you know, and they, nobody knew what he had.

• 1:23Theo Von?

  You know, but he had, and his daddy kinda had it, whatever his daddy had, his daddy, you know, it got worse when he had it. When he was born, I'm like, damn, he's got it. And I remember at the holidays, they'd put a bow on him.

• 1:40Theo Von?

  Put a big bow on him and let him be out in the yard and let him pick up some of the driveway gravel. Make wishes on it and throw it over to, um, over to fence over there by their house. But, um, what are we talking about? Good to see everyone. Merry Christmas to you. Merry Christmas to you. Happy holidays. Happy black Christmas. I know that there's some people celebrate that black Christmas. I don't remember what it's called and I don't want to offend anyone. But that, you know what I'm saying? That chocolate, that chocolate Christmas, baby. That Hershey's Christmas. You know what I'm saying? Get buck. Get buck.

• 2:29Theo Von?

  And um, and they got all the Christmases and everybody happy Christmas, Merry Christmas to you.

• 2:37Theo Von?

  And the end of the year is here. I can't believe it. I can't believe that um, that we got the end of the year already. I just remember everything was kind of, it was a crazy year. It started off, you know, shit was weird and then things got a kind of trans or whatever. And then suddenly it's Christmas. And here we are. We have some great Christmas music too. I want to just take a second so we can hear a couple of these tunes. So we have them and just put us in the mood right here today. At the end of 2024, right here, let's hear a little song.

• 3:25Theo Von?

  And that's all this um, that's Christmas Bells by Mike Franklin. And that's for, that's that autism Christmas, baby. That Christism, baby. Let's hear a little more of it.

• 3:59Theo Von?

  And that's a little bit of Asian Christmas too. That's that Bobby Lee uh, lunch whistle, baby. You know what I'm saying? That's that Bobby Lee mating call right there.

• 4:15Theo Von?

  And you could see Bobby Lee just, just looking up in the distance behind a big stack of um,

• 4:23Theo Von?

  like a big rice wall or something.

• 4:29Theo Von?

  You could see him looking up.

• 4:34Theo Von?

  And that's beautiful there, right there. It's called "Christmas Bells" by Mike Franklin. And you gotta love music this time of year. It's something that really keeps you together, keeps your mind together. I'll put on a song sometimes if I can't, you know, if I can't handle shit, I'll damn put on a song. And I'll put a pacifier in my ass and just pray to God. Brother, let's hear one more song here. This is called "Christmas Wonders" by Howard Harper Barnes. Amen.

• 5:22Theo Von?

  And this sounds like rich people driving to shop or whatever, you know, and they're, the kid has clean hair. You know, and the kid has clean hair and has a lunch that has a lunchbox that has actual lunch in it. You know? I remember my lunchbox, sometimes it would just have a little piece of paper in there, it'd say "fuck you" on it.

• 5:44Theo Von?

  You know, and then some silverware in that bitch too, so it'd make a, you know, it'd make that sound, that very industrial sound when you were running with it, you would hear the silverware in there. And then you'd, nice piece of paper in there or something, be like, "get fucked", you know, or something like that. Inside of it, let's hear a little bit more.

• 6:11Theo Von?

  "Oh, we are rich. We have gas in our car, it's a Volvo. Late for the store, the mall, it's closing.

• 6:26Theo Von?

  Let's get some steak for the kids. We're rich, bum, bum. Are we almost out of gas? Fuck no, we're not. We're rich." That's what that reminds me of, rich people going to the mall with their clean hair and shit. And their kids or whatever.

• 6:48Theo Von?

  That ain't the kind of, our shit was just like Jingle Bells, you'd have some guy out there fucking smoking Jingle Bells. Ahhh. Then he'd throw a, throw a fucking, uh, and he'd throw a fucking Miller Lite against the wall. He'd be like, "Where's your mother? Where's your fucking mother?" Like, "Mom, who is that? Mom, is that Santa?" And she'd be like, "That's, no, that's your," and it would be your dad, or your stepdad, or your, the mechanic, who y'all owed money to. Dude, I remember the mechanic, one time we owed him something, he came and got that bitch right back off the car, bro.

• 7:33Theo Von?

  He, I don't know if it was a damn spark plug, or it was a motor joint, or whatever. He, it was a damn clevis clamp, or something, for a steering pendulum, and he came and pulled that bitch right out of there, dude. Yeah, that car barely worked after that. You had to turn the radio up to get it to, uh, go left. Every time that, if you wanted that bitch to go left, you had to fucking crank up some Aerosmith. And pray. Some, two people had to be praying in the back. It ran on four hands power, you had to have four, four hands pushed together, praying straight to God, crank up that Aerosmith, bam, son, 90-degree right turn. And that's how we did it back then.

• 8:16Theo Von?

  And that's what that song reminds me of, that's Christmas Wonders by Howard Harper Barnes. Beautiful tune there to get you ready for the holidays. Let me see what else we got here. Here's one right now, and this is, uh, "Christmas in the Club." Let's hear it.

• 8:47Theo Von?

  Oh shit.

• 8:49Theo Von?

  Oh shit.

• 8:52Theo Von?

  Prancer.

• 8:55Theo Von?

  Prancer. In this bitch. Dancer. Own that shit.

• 9:06Theo Von?

  Reindeer. Reindeer.

• 9:12Theo Von?

  Own Pluto. Own Ricky. Own Mario. Own DeAndre.

• 9:22Theo Von?

  In the club.

• 9:25Theo Von?

  We all reindeer.

• 9:28Theo Von?

  That's a mildly urban tune, I believe, there. And that's Christmas House Music by Dylan Stitz.

• 9:38Theo Von?

  Alright, and we may have one more Christmas tune here to bring you guys into the, um, into the world, bro.

• 9:49Theo Von?

  We got a little something right here. And this is called Trap Beat Christmas Past by Kushy.

• 10:01Theo Von?

  Bringing up in my headphone.

• 10:04Theo Von?

  Kushy.

• 10:07Theo Von?

  Snowfall bitch.

• 10:19Theo Von?

  All the way.

• 10:40Theo Von?

  Rocky! Rocky got that cock on him.

• 10:49Theo Von?

  And that is Trap Beat Christmas, passed by Cushy. With a little bit of ensemble in the background. I added some vocals there. That was Rocky got that cock on him. At the end, and everybody remembers, uh, the fella I grew up with. Uh, his son Rocky. And he was mentally, um... He was just, he wa- well, he wasn't mentally. He was unmental, or you know, he just, his his shit was kinda...

• 11:21Theo Von?

  You know, he was that fucking, he was just the Lord's side item, and he, uh... He, uh, but he had that thang on him, maybe he had that peace. He had that frickin Draco on him, boy. Rocky got that cock on him. And I remember one year around the holidays, everybody was just shocked at the, uh... At the size of the stump on that beautiful young fella. Even his father. Even his father was, and that's what it's... That's what it's all about. What's going on? Sorry. Don't know what I'm talking about. We just, uh, we're in the Christmas time of year. And I want to thank, um, the, everybody who's just listened to the podcast this year and made a part to be a part of it.

• 12:06Theo Von?

  Uh, we, you know, we've had the most, um...

• 12:13Theo Von?

  Successful year as a podcast, depending on what you determine success by, but uh, we've had the most prolific year, I think. You know, and that's a blessing just to have it like that.

• 12:27Theo Von?

  And what's going on today? I got to go over to Vanderbilt University over there with Coach Clark Lee and hang out with some of the players over there and watch them practice. They got a beautiful facility, you know, and it was just, you know, I felt lucky to be in the building. This is a SEC football school and just to watch them go and just how it all, um, they have like the different periods for when like, uh, the teams switch and, and, and practice different parts of the game plan and different, um, formats and everything when the football format.

• 13:08Theo Von?

  And just so just to witness all of that was pretty awesome. Um, you know, and just to be in, uh, in Nashville as that team is building and putting, really just putting that anchor down, baby. This was the year that they really kind of, I think, put that stamp win on the program. And just a great season over there. And, uh, so that was great. Just to, just to go get to do that. And I wish them the best over there against Georgia Tech with, uh, Diego Pavia.

• 13:39Theo Von?

  That Latino ninja.

• 13:43Theo Von?

  And that guy just, you know, there's, he is one of a kind, man. And that whole team is, it's just, they got a family over there. And so I think that's what I like the most, just being able to be around a group of people. And, you know, as you get older and as life changes, you don't get a lot of groups like that. You don't get a lot of team like that in your life as much. So I think, you know, even just to get to see that and be around it for just like, we went over there for maybe an hour and a half or something. And, uh, yeah, it was just, it was cool, man. I'm not trying to brag about it or anything and some, you know, but it was just, I just thought it was, it was just cool. So thankful to them. Um, what's been happening

• 14:25Theo Von?

  in the world? Uh, we got a couple of things. People right here, it says, um, New Jersey drones. Oh God, what is this? They got a call that came in about it. Let's hear this. What is it onward?

• 14:40Speaker 01

  Hey P L, what's up?

• 14:41Theo Von?

  What's up, brother? Uh, thanks for calling. Brother!

• 14:45Speaker 01

  Um, just wanted to call, ask what you think about the drones in New Jersey. Just wanted to hear your thoughts on that and, uh, have a good day.

• 14:55Theo Von?

  The drones in New Jersey? Yeah, I've seen it. People are like, "Look, hey, hey, Samantha! Get the fuck out, get outta here!" And she's breastfeeding some little Rutgers fan or whatever, and he's like, "Samantha, get the fuck, get outta here! Put your tits away and get outta here!

• 15:15Theo Von?

  The drone, they got the drones!" Some guy's got fucking salami grease in his eyes, he can't even see that good. He's all fucking just geeked up on Mortadella or whatever, like, "Yeah, yeah, they got the drone, hey! Hey Frankie! You seen this, this, this, the drones!"

• 15:36Theo Von?

  And people saying, "They're from Africa online, African drones, but that would be, they'd be paper airplanes, bro." Africa ain't making no drones, bro, they making soup. They got, they got, they're dealing with different issues, grassroots issues over there.

• 15:53Theo Von?

  You know, they make Zambian drones over there. It's probably, people like, "It's aliens," you know? I don't care, I don't care what it is, I don't care. Dude, I don't care, if it's aliens, good! Y'all keep talking about them bitches every week? Bring 'em on! I, I, I hope it is something from another world, that probably, hopefully it's coming to help the Jets, whatever it is. That's all it is. Hopefully, whatever them drones, I hope they sh- sh- go, I hope they go straight over there. And help the Jets over there. Cause they could use some support, I know that. The New York Jets could use a damn drone or something. On defense, they need, they need a, some pre, they need it.

• 16:37Theo Von?

  But yeah, that's what people are saying that the drones over there. Hey! Gina, get out here! Gina's inside, she's finishing off a tattoo. She got, she getting a tattoo on her arm, a fucking, you know, she finally, it's like her, the third character from fucking, uh, Boondock Saints or something on her arm? Or it's some chick, or it's some chick from Marist? You know, with a Jersey Mike's brassiere, you know? She's nine mint juleps into the slot and she's figuring things out. Ah, it's the drones!

• 17:15Theo Von?

  You know, I just, I, you know? It's probably one of those frats just, uh, dropping pills into people's drinks. That's the way, that's how they're doing it now, ladies? It's, it's the drones. It's some, it's probably some pike with a, with a remote on his phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah!

• 17:40Theo Von?

  Oh, so I don't know, that's what's going on out there, um... But yeah, that's what's happening in my world today, that's kind of it.

• 17:51Theo Von?

  You know, the years happen so fast, I feel, um, like I'm not getting enough time to prepare to be, uh...

• 18:00Theo Von?

  To do, you know, it's almost like you want to finish everything off and do everything and... And then I gotta remember, you know, you can only do what you can, right?

• 18:09Theo Von?

  You can only do what you can and...

• 18:12Theo Von?

  You know, instead of trying to make it to five houses in one day on Christmas or Christmas Eve, like... Make it to two or three and spend some quality time there. And say, "Hey, next year I'll come and see you guys," you know? "Or I'll see you at Easter, or I'll see you here." "Or I'll see you the day after."

• 18:32Theo Von?

  You know, sometimes we try to stack everything on the one day.

• 18:37Theo Von?

  Yeah, so that's what's happening. That's some, what else is happening in the news? London's Christmas tree this year is pathetic, this says. Let me see, ooh, that bitch, dang, boy. London. The bridge is falling, dude, that bitch gonna fall as well, baby, gosh.

• 18:58Theo Von?

  Man, that thing. Looks like it got too many vaccines, brother, that thing, wow. London, y'all been. You guys must have given all your money to. Uh, foreign countries as well, brother, that thing barely lit up, gah. That thing missing some branches, a bird wouldn't land in that bitch, I know that. You'd be lucky to find a, maybe a penguin roll up under it. But you could, I bet you couldn't find sixty birds that would live in that bitch. That thing looks like section eight for swans over there, you got, you missing some branches on it.

• 19:38Theo Von?

  That looks like when you get one of those haircuts at one of those, uh, schools, you ever been to like the school where they cut it? And they have the person up front, it's his first time, he's like, it's like a school, it's a hair school, they had it in our town when I was young. And for fifty cents, they cut your hair. Or they cut it for free if you fucking walked in there. They didn't give a shit, they was just happy. To let any, you practice on it, right, you come out that bitch looking like a damn, gah. Everybody, you get like a six-year-old lesbian, I don't care what she was, male, female. Bishon, anything, they put a, I don't care if he was Australian shepherd, you look like a damn six-year-old lesbian in there.

• 20:18Theo Von?

  They put damn, uh, sideburns on your fucking, right on the front of your head, they, they didn't, they didn't know what they was doing in there. I think it was an Evada Roberts or something it was called, Evada Roberts, uh. Hair cafe or whatever, you going there fifty cents. And it was some dude, it was, he'd been a substitute teacher three weeks earlier at my school. And now he's in here. And he's shaking hands, you know, hi, I'm, you know, I'm Reginald or whatever, and he changed his name and it's Reginald. Bitch, you're Reginald. Alright, I don't know. I'll, you know, I'll pretend with you for forty-five seconds, but you're Reginald from social studies, sir.

• 21:02Theo Von?

  And then he'd try to trim your shit up or whatever. He'd take you, they'd wash your hair. Dude would try to fucking drown you in there. Drown you in the sink for fifty cents. You barely make it out that bitch, dude. Just scary to be a part of some of that shit. What were we talking about, Trevin, you remember?

• 21:22Theo Von?

  The London Christmas tree. Oh, yeah. So I can relate to, you know, not getting what you pay for there, London, or getting what you pay for. You know, that's what you get, baby. What else do we have? Pornhub will block access for Floridians on January first. And I say this, you know, I applaud this. I have friends that work in pornography or that do it and stuff like that, and that's fine. This is not a judgment against any of those people or any people that are involved in sex work.

• 21:55Theo Von?

  But no one in Florida will be able to access Pornhub, the most trafficked pornography website in the world as of January first. And honestly, I think that it's good. You know, I think watching per- uh porno, uh has, it's not, it's it makes, for me, it makes a lot of shame inside of me.

• 22:16Theo Von?

  Anytime I'm busting myself out or just, you know, or, you know, doing you know, anytime I'm just, you know, just LARPing that frickin Ranger or whatever. Or just making my body talk and do just you know, anytime I'm just, uh anytime I'm doing pornography, I don't feel good about myself. That's the truth. I don't feel good about myself. You know, it makes me feel ashamed, kind of. It makes me feel weak. It makes me feel ashamed of myself.

• 22:51Theo Von?

  And those aren't ways that I want to feel. And I believe it takes away, because I've seen this happen with so many of my friends and myself. I think it takes away your desire to connect with the opposite sex, you know, and then like you go home and you don't have the energy for your wife. You don't even have the attraction because you, you're basically just taking the attraction out of your body. You know, God puts like magnets in our body or mother nature or God or Godmother nature, whatever. She keeps changing her name. I have no idea. But she's probably just hiding, you know, trying to hide from the courts or whatever.

• 23:31Theo Von?

  But she, they, and God or whatever, they put like a magnet in your body. And that creates the attraction. So when I'm taking all my energy and I'm putting it just into pornos on the internet or whatever, I'm just, I'm giving all of my energy, my good, uh, beautiful human nature energy, I'm giving it away, you know? And, and then it makes me feel ashamed. It makes me feel just, it doesn't make me feel good. That's what I'll say. And so I don't want to do that. And so I'm glad that they're starting to crack down. And, and not they're starting to, but we, we, we need some help. I think, that's what I think.

• 24:16Theo Von?

  I think we need some help. Yes, people should be able to watch whatever they want or look at whatever they want. But also I don't think we should just let things, everything just be available. I don't think so.

• 24:31Theo Von?

  And some people might say, well, that's like communism or something. I don't know. That's like a restriction. That's fine. Look, I've watched enough porno to know that you don't, you don't need it. Now, it's easy for me to say because I got to see some of it, but you know, and I'll sit around a fire and tell you what it was like, if that's what you need, but, but I'm happy. I think we need to go back to the days of drawings. You have to sneak in, you know, sneak into your brother's room and sneak a drawing of some cooter out from under a fucking aquarium. And it's a little bit wet and it's got some fish flakes on it or whatever, on the, um, sketch. But that's how you get it. You know, so I think there needs to be a little more, more barrier to entry um in the sex.

• 25:17Theo Von?

  Yeah, and look, that's how I feel about it, and that's okay if you feel differently. But I've watched it have an effect on my own life and I, and I'm, I'm glad it won't be as accessible, I think. And that's okay if you feel differently. I'm not saying what I feel is right. And that's okay. Um, but I'm just tired of like, I feel like it takes your masculinity is trying to. And it's like these systems that use these algorithms against us. It knows. It knows you're addicted to it. So it's like, I'm gonna serve you that addiction right here. And it is up to ourselves to be able to prevent ourselves from looking at it. I agree, but

• 26:00Theo Von?

  it's easier for me not to do cocaine if somebody isn't just, if every time I open my window,

• 26:06Theo Von?

  there's somebody not right there with some cocaine.

• 26:13Theo Von?

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• 26:54Theo Von?

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• 29:04Theo Von?

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• 30:19Theo Von?

  Alright, what else do we have here? Oh, people sent in some Cat Williamses right here and people are finding them everywhere. And that's beautiful. Let's see what they sent in for us. Cause you know I got my K Dub out already. I got him in the living room. That's my little angel.

• 30:38Theo Von?

  Oh, they said they put this one right near the Barbies. This Cat Williams is trying to meet a white girl. Look at this one. A Cat Williams, somebody put. Gang, baby, that's one. And then whoa, whoa. This one off that scissor, baby. This one's been sipping, boy. Wow, this one definitely on the clock hiding at work. I've seen this one before. Damn.

• 31:04Theo Von?

  This one off that Henny, baby. Damn, boy. Let's see one right here. Oh, this one hiding too. I seen this one at work at lunch hiding out. In between a couple of boxes or whatever. And this one got a little eight ball on him too. What is that, an eight ball? No, what is that thing called? Uh, Trevin?

• 31:24Speaker 02

  Snowglobe?

• 31:25Theo Von?

  Snowglobe. Thank you. But yeah, and then this one right here, Sketch sent me this one. There's one. And that's Cat Williams and, uh... That's Cat Williams and Cam Newton hanging out.

• 31:42Theo Von?

  Right there. We caught them on the edge of the store over there by, uh... The appliance area. Air conditioning, HVAC, all that. So they... They over there mingling or whatever, talking shop. Okay, what else we got? We got some, uh, more art. Uh... TikTok is on the verge of getting banned. The Supreme Court will hear arguments over the law that could ban TikTok in the US if it's not sold. Who is the owner of TikTok? I want to see if he would come on here. I think it's Chow Shane or something.

• 32:15Theo Von?

  I think it's Chow Shane.

• 32:18Speaker 02

  Uh, Xiao Zichu?

• 32:21Theo Von?

  Uh, shit.

• 32:27Theo Von?

  Yeah, Xiao Zichu. Xiao Zichu. Yeah, we gotta get him in here, because I want to know what the truth is. And I would like to say to you, Xiao Zichu, if you're willing to come on, maybe we would love to have you in here. Just to learn a little bit about it right here. The Supreme Court said it will hear arguments next month over the constitutionality of the federal law that could ban TikTok in the United States if its Chinese parent company doesn't sell it.

• 32:52Theo Von?

  The law enacted in April set a January 19th deadline for TikTok to be sold or else face a ban in the United States. A popular social media platform has more than 170 million users in the US.

• 33:04Theo Von?

  The High Court will also hear arguments from content creators who rely on the platform for income and some TikTok users. President-elect Donald Trump, who once supported a ban but then pledged during the campaign to save TikTok, has said his administration would take a look at the situation. Trump met with TikTok's CEO, Xiao Zichu, on Friday.

• 33:28Theo Von?

  The case pits free speech rights against the government's stated aims of protecting national security. The government ain't protecting national security. I think at this point, we can all recognize they don't really have our security in...

• 33:43Theo Von?

  Their sites. You know what I'm saying? They let they'll let anybody. They don't want somebody getting your information off TikTok, but they'll let somebody just come across the uh willy nilly come into the country.

• 33:57Theo Von?

  Willy nilly. And I say that only because we've met with border patrol agents. And we've that's the truth. There's no you could sugarcoat it any way you want. Um, so I don't believe that. I believe that they don't want

• 34:13Theo Von?

  people sharing the truth about the genocide in Palestine, and that's why that they're doing it. I believe that that's what it is. And TikTok is one of those places where people can still do that. And um, they want to own it. They want to own it, dude.

• 34:30Speaker 02

  Suppressing.

• 34:31Theo Von?

  Yes, suppressing. Thank you so much. Yes, and I think uh, yeah, I mean. And people say, um, thank you. And um, and people say like, well, we don't want China having our information. All these every they all have our what are they? I don't understand sometimes what what that means, you know? Like, what do you have my information? I have like six pieces of information. There's no way you don't have them. I've put them into some of the probably shadiest sites on the web.

• 35:02Theo Von?

  You got them. You know, I don't even people have our information. What do you my I'm scared they're gonna get my DoorDash order? They've got they have our information.

• 35:14Theo Von?

  So then it's just what don't they want us to see, right? What don't they want us to see? Because if they can control what they what we see, they'll control what we know.

• 35:26Theo Von?

  Or what we believe, maybe. I don't know. Do I sound crazy? I don't know.

• 35:31Theo Von?

  Doesn't matter.

• 35:34Theo Von?

  While both are in the, and there is a, and there's a difference between the Tik Tok in China and the Tik Tok in USA. While both, it says right here, while both are owned by the same company ByteDance Tik Tok in China called Douyin. Douyin, D O U Y I N, Douyin is significantly different from the version available in America. With a much stricter focus on child-friendly content, including educational videos and stricter time limits due to stricter Chinese government regulations regarding online content for minors. Whereas the American version is considered more open and has a wider variety of content with less restrictions on viewing time.

• 36:14Theo Von?

  It's more open, has a wider variety of, so I understand like they want to keep, like the Chinese government probably keeps theirs more informative. And then, you know, America is just, we like the fat, we like the funny, you know, it's just like, we don't want to learn as much. It's not as much of our nature, a lot of us, you know, um, we're more tempted by the other stuff. And so that's what we kind of consume and enjoy.

• 36:40Theo Von?

  But that seems like a crazy, but I just don't buy the content thing. I just don't buy that they're getting, gonna get our information. What are you gonna get? My shoe size? What are you gonna get? My address and college or something? You know, what are you gonna get?

• 36:53Theo Von?

  What vitamins? What are you gonna get?

• 36:57Theo Von?

  That's what it's like, you know, we don't, they're gonna get our, what, what information? I can't think of anything that I haven't already put into a computer probably.

• 37:07Theo Von?

  So I think they have our information, but what do I know, dude? I don't fucking know, dude. I'll smoke a bag of my own and nuts, homie. I don't give a shit, boy. I will eat the fucking shingles off your house.

• 37:21Theo Von?

  Yeah, I will. All right. What else do we have? We got some calls that came in. Any more news? Oh, Columbus Funeral Home, the first operating in America with a liquor license. Columbus, Ohio, a north side funeral home could soon serve mourners in a new way, alcohol. Wow. Welcome to Ireland. That's what we're talking about. Funerals. Evergreen Funeral Cremation and Reception is set to open next year. They applied for liquor license and could soon be serving people during services. That's nice. The mission is to make the process of a very difficult time a little easier. My role in this position is to be kind of a party planner for the dead.

• 38:04Theo Von?

  That's what Hunter Triplett told W S Y X. Triplett wants to shed the business's reputation of being dark and morbid by offering manageable prices and the option for mourners to raise a toast to a lost loved one with a bar. That's fair. Interesting, we will be serving alcohol when people are on the premises and remain on the premises. Yeah, because imagine that somebody leaves a funeral, car accident, deceased. So these people are kind of, um, I don't know, that's called double dipping or whatever. It seems like it. So, but hey, that's the kind of America we should, you know. But we got to ban Tik Tok because it's getting your information.

• 38:51Theo Von?

  Um, what else? Oh, New York considering special hotline just for CEOs to report alleged threats to their safety after the Brian Thompson killing. Um, for those of you do not know it, Brian Thompson was the, um, he was the matriarch or whatever the Brian Thompson, not that's not the right word. He was the CEO of United Healthcare, I believe it's called United Healthcare. He was gunned down in the middle of Manhattan earlier this month.

• 39:26Theo Von?

  And so New York Governor Kathy Hochul is considering a creating a special hotline just for CEOs to report alleged threats to their safety. A hotline? That sounds like some CEO is going to call a hotline? I think they know now, like they should all, they would all call it. Cause it feels like they just got they. Now, there's no point in the hotline, you got it, they, there's the, the threat to the safety is there. You know, somebody been popping off, somebody pulled that Draco out on somebody. You know, because they wouldn't do the, you know, they was, um, wrenching somebody's mother over to medical bills and stuff. You knew it was going to happen, I feel like.

• 40:12Theo Von?

  And I feel like this is where we're starting to get in society where you're going to start to see vigilanteism. Now, some people can just say it's murder, some people can say it's vigilanteism.

• 40:25Theo Von?

  You know, and it could be both. That's the thing as well. Um, but you're just gonna see, yeah, at a certain point, that's gonna happen.

• 40:36Theo Von?

  You know, you're seeing people take things into their hands because institutions like the government or um, won't do it. That's what you're starting to see. You're seeing it everywhere.

• 40:49Theo Von?

  You know, you started to see it during COVID when um, Dave Portnoy was handing, they were helping out. Uh, they were helping out small businesses. While the government, while COVID people, where they were shutting them down.

• 41:05Theo Von?

  So you started to see private people or regular people taking action to uh, do things that you would think that the, your government would do, right? And I think at a certain point, you would think that your government would keep you safe from um, toxic insurance programs. And they aren't. Um, medical debt is the leading cause of bankruptcy in America.

• 41:35Theo Von?

  So you think about the stress and all that causes, it's horrible. It's horrible. But meanwhile, we have billions of dollars to give somewhere else. It's just fucking people are sick of things and uh, then you start to see people take things into their own hands that their government should be doing for them.

• 41:52Theo Von?

  So how do you guys feel about vigilanteism or, you know, I don't, is that a crazy thing to say? I mean, obviously it is murder. It is a crime. So that is no doubt. But sometimes there are crimes that

• 42:07Theo Von?

  people do because um, they don't, there's no choice.

• 42:16Theo Von?

  You know, we give that excuse when people rob a sh- uh, shonies or whatever. Or you rob a taco, uh, Vespa or whatever. Uh, some guy selling fucking Mexican off of the back of a damn, um, bird scooter or whatever, some fucking lime, some fucking little lime monster. You know, slinging that shit, homes, you know, slinging that shit.

• 42:45Theo Von?

  But anyway, I'm fucking rambling. I think I'm getting a little bit into the news. But I'm just inter- I'm interested. What do you guys think about vigilanteism? Do you think this is just murder? Do you think that we're gonna see more of that as time goes on? Um, yeah, because at some point, if something bends enough, the fucking shit's gonna start to get weird. And I kinda, I like weird shit. You know what I'm saying? I like weird shit, bro. I've been involved in some missed connections with the devil, brother.

• 43:16Theo Von?

  Um, but I, I love how the government thinks a hotline is gonna help, bitch. That's the same thing you gave to people that were having problems with the insurance company in the first place. You gave them a, "Call a hotline."

• 43:32Theo Von?

  Motherfucker, his mom, your mom's, mom's been on, on hold with insurance for two hours. Now she gotta call another hotline to complain about it? Get fucked. That's what I say, bro.

• 43:47Theo Von?

  That's what I say. And when, when, when people start to realize the truth, bro, shit gets, it's, that's wild. That's what I say, man. Damn, this shit got me agitated.

• 44:02Theo Von?

  And I'm between insurance companies right now, so I better calm down, dude. And that's the truth. I think my new policy goes in on the, uh, first or whatever. So anyway, let's get to some calls, man. Sorry I've been rambling. I know I've been kinda vocal about shit, but maybe I'm not tired. I don't give a, I, I don't know what I'm doing, dude. I don't know. It's been a long year and shit does make me agitated sometimes. I've had three coffees today, you know? I watched a SEC team play football. I'm feeling hyped.

• 44:32Theo Von?

  Um, we got a video call in right here that came in as always hotline is 985 664 9503. And there's uh, you can submit videos as well through the website. Here we go.

• 44:45Speaker 03

  You want potty? And what'd you say after that? Gang gang!

• 44:49Theo Von?

  Gang gang, maybe there's a young kid right there. And if he potties or whatever, if he does pissing or does uh booty work, they let him say gang gang. And that's beautiful. Praise God. Good to see these young fellows. Um, right here, uh...

• 45:08Speaker 01

  What up Theo? My name is Dallas.

• 45:11Theo Von?

  What's up Dallas? Good to see, uh, good to hear you, brother. Let's hear more.

• 45:15Speaker 01

  I'm driving home right now. What I do for a living is I, I set up Christmas lights for people, so. Some might call me a, a spreader of joy, you know, I'm a joy spreader. Spread that holiday greeting.

• 45:28Theo Von?

  Okay, brother. Thank you. Yeah. And putting the lights up. I looked into it. It's a little pricey. I looked into it. It's a little pricey. I'd rather just get home and wish they were up for about a month. And then just, then it's January or whatever, but I do feel you and I get jealous when I see homes that have them up. And when I, if I get a wife next year, I don't work as much. I'm gonna put some up. But onward, man, I'm sorry I'm making this about me, brother. Let's hear more.

• 45:55Speaker 01

  But what I'm, what I'm trying to get to is that, you know, I do it all morning, all night long. Sometimes I'm getting home at three in the morning and doing that again at seven in the morning. So it's long days.

• 46:10Theo Von?

  Yeah, brother. Well, you can't, you know, if you're trying to change the whole mood of a neighborhood, it's gonna take time, man. You know what I'm saying? Uh, Romano's Macaroni Grill wasn't built in a day or whatever they say, man. I don't know what that saying is. Onward.

• 46:26Speaker 01

  And I feel like I'm giving all the joy, but I don't have the joy being replenished within my, my temple, my, my body. So I don't know. What, what is your advice on how to?

• 46:43Theo Von?

  I'll tell you how. You gotta do a little peep in time and baby you right there. You right there, brother.

• 46:50Theo Von?

  You know what I'm saying? You right, the devil just put you on the window sill, boy.

• 46:56Theo Von?

  You elf on a shelf of lust, brother. You got an excuse to be on the ladder. You know how hard it is to climb up that ladder with no excuse to be in someone's yard, brother? And you just tell them you're bird watching or something, you're just staring into their fucking window?

• 47:15Theo Von?

  Yeah dude, you have, you're getting paid to peep in time, brother. What are you talking about? Change your attitude. Start lurking and slurping, homie, you know what I'm saying? Get tipped out big, dog, you feel me?

• 47:31Theo Von?

  How much is that doggie in the window? Get over there and get you some, boy. Oh, we that ladder boy. Get out there, brother. You know what I'm saying?

• 47:46Theo Von?

  Slurp daddy. Alright, let's hear another call that has come in about Christmas.

• 47:53Speaker 04

  Hi Theo, it's Stephanie from Mississippi.

• 47:56Theo Von?

  Hey Stephanie from Mississippi over there. And I'm gonna go to Natchez, Mississippi actually, uh, for a night to spend time with some family. Um, that I used to live with over there, my buddy Richard Sharp, his family. And, um, just blessed to get to see, uh, them again. Gang onward.

• 48:18Speaker 04

  I'm sitting here, racking my brain, trying to figure out what I should get my eight-year-old son for Christmas. I mean, you were a boy once, you were eight once, so, uh, yeah, I just wanted to know your thoughts about that. Thank you, man. Love you, bye.

• 48:35Theo Von?

  Love you too. Thank you so much for calling. That's a good question. What do you get an eight-year-old boy? Hmm, and he's just a boy, probably. I wonder how tall he is? How long is an eight-year-old? Let me look that up really quick.

• 48:51Theo Von?

  How long is an eight year old soccer game? Fuck what?

• 48:57Theo Von?

  That's ridiculous. Who's looking up that shit? It says between forty seven and fifty four inches tall. Shit, how tall, how long is that?

• 49:11Theo Von?

  How much is that?

• 49:12Speaker 02

  Fifty feet, or sorry, fifty inches is four feet.

• 49:15Theo Von?

  Okay, so we're looking at four feet tall, something that's four feet tall. What do you get it? Fuck, that's a damn wiener dog. It's, you know, that you got living with you. Um. Yeah, an eight year old. You know what? I think there was some things my mom would get us that were fun things, but then she would get us things that were like, um, kind of creative, like thinking things as well. You know, and I really liked that. Like we would get like puzzles or, um, different type of stuff, clay. Uh, one year we didn't have any money. My mom got us, um, a couple, she got us everybody these two liter sodas, these big old, them big dog. You remember them bitches?

• 49:57Theo Von?

  When they first came out with them bitches. And one year they came out with a damn three liter soda. Bring that bitch up. God dang boy! When they, bro, you roll into my neighborhood with a fucking three liter soda, bruh? We right here.

• 50:17Theo Von?

  You don't want it anyway. We right here.

• 50:24Theo Von?

  We ready. Bro, that bitch was a gang banger. So that, you know, that's the kind of shit I'd get that little bastard a three liter soda, baby. Shake that bitch up. But I think also some jewelry, get him something, man. I'm a, I'm a, uh, ice my family out probably with some stuff from Kohl's or maybe some backwoods, uh. Um shirts or whatever, you know, different uh shit. What is it called? Uh full body fits? Maybe some backwards fits or something? So yeah, I think but that an eight year old, I like something though that he has to think or something, something you can also maybe do with him.

• 51:08Theo Von?

  There's gotta be like a fun, like a good game or something. Or a shovel too. Or a treasure map. Get him like a, a something. Maybe hide something for him and get him that treasure uh.

• 51:25Theo Von?

  Get him a treasure, a sh- uh shovel. Treasure getter. Because yeah, then you have him dig up something and maybe it's nothing, right? But oh well, that's life, huh? That's life, shorty, better learn it now. Work hard, bro, you ain't getting shit. But no, I think also a big hug, maybe uh take him to a nice movie. Ooh, what about this? What if you get him like a gift card to some mo- a movie theater? And then he gets to pick out some movies he wants to go see. So maybe that could be something where you get to read the movies to him and be like, well, these are the movies they have for your age and then he gets to pick one and choose it. And then it's him making a choice and um

• 52:09Theo Von?

  feeling like he has a choice and if you guys get to spend time together or not. I think that would have been something that I probably would have enjoyed, you know, or um. You know, my mom took me to Wendy's once when we were kids and I remember that. And uh, that's nice. That was something nice as well. Destiny. Is that lady's name and? Yeah, and just Merry Christmas to you and your son. I'm glad you guys get to do some fun stuff together. What's something else? I think something like that is nice where he gets a say so in it and then it's a choice he made, so that kind of builds up his ability to think uh and ask like, okay, well, what are the choices, right? Maybe, what do I know? Eight year old kid might not, he might, you know.

• 52:54Theo Von?

  He might wanna just sip trank or whatever and sit in the, and sit in a fucking sedan in the parking lot. I have no idea what kids are doing now. Um.

• 53:05Theo Von?

  Here we got a call that came in right here as always hotline 985-664-9503.

• 53:10Speaker 05

  What's up Theo, uh, this is Wells from South Carolina. I had a question for you. I was just wondering, we, uh, me and my buddies went to a casino up here at King's Mountain, uh, one of the Native American casinos and...

• 53:20Theo Von?

  You guys went to a Native American casino. Okay, thank you.

• 53:24Speaker 05

  I was just astounded by the amount of Asians here. Not to be racist or anything, but like the am-

• 53:30Theo Von?

  It's not racist to see Asians, brother. Let me tell you that. It's not racist to see Asians. You see Asians, what are you gonna do? Not see them or whatever? Pretend you're, you know, rip your eyes out of your head? No, it's okay to see Asians, brother. Let's see more? Sorry, let's hear more?

• 53:50Speaker 05

  Amount of Asians that were at this casino were just insane, dude. I mean, you know, it was pretty cool, but have you ever experienced that Asians are, uh, prolific gamblers?

• 54:03Theo Von?

  Yeah, I've seen a lot of that, man. "Hi, dollar!" The one guy was yelling, I remember. There was a, um... It was a basketball or something. I remember walking through a casino one time and there had a Asian fellow over there. "Hi, dollar! Hi, dollar!" He kept yelling. "Hi, dollar!"

• 54:21Theo Von?

  And, uh, yeah, they love it. Asians like that risk. They like, they like to fucking risk, man.

• 54:29Theo Von?

  Because I think Asians, they don't, they're, they're, they just, they, they like the, um... They like the risk. They like the smoke. They like the smoke and they like the risk, you know? "Hey, what's up?" You know?

• 54:45Theo Von?

  "Hey, I'm Asian!" So, yeah, dude, they fucking, yeah, Asians, bro. "Hey, what are you doing, huh? I'm gambling. Hey!" You know? So, yeah, Asians love that shit, bruh. "Hey, bruh, put four Asians in a box. What do you got?"

• 55:05Theo Von?

  A li- uh, people that gamble.

• 55:09Theo Von?

  Praise God, baby. Um...

• 55:14Theo Von?

  Here we go. We got a call that came in right here. Onward? Hey, Theo Von. My name is Miles. I have a brother- Hey, Miles, and thank you for calling and I'm glad that you have a brother, man. Let's hear some more. That acts really gay. How do I ask him if he's gay? Without pissing him off. Thank you, bro. Well, I think you could do it in a gift way, you know, you could do it in a um in a gift way, like a note or so like you hide it, you put a note in a package, a little note or let you know, you write it, draw it or whatever and it's it um and it says, it says like, are you and then it just has like two guys hugging or whatever, you know, um

• 56:00Theo Von?

  but then he's just gonna think, he's gonna think that you that he's just, you're just asking if he's in the Navy or whatever. So you got, I'm trying to think of how do you do it?

• 56:11Theo Von?

  I think you just gotta tickle him or not until he tells you if he's gay or not. That's what my uncle would do.

• 56:18Theo Von?

  You just because it gay, you know, because that's how you even get gay. Somebody just tickles you so damn much, your whole spirit just kind of fucking just spoils into just wanting to meet some guys somewhere. So I think you gotta figure it out, brother. I don't, I don't know, dude. Why do you, why would you even call and ask me that? I don't know. I mean, I appreciate you calling. Sorry, I shouldn't, I shouldn't say that. I appreciate you calling, man. You know, and I'm sorry you're dealing with that. Uh, but I'm glad you care. I remember I thought my brother would try to make love to me when we were children. You know that and uh and I'd be scared. And so at night, I remember I'd put, I had me a little bag of little sack of jingle bells, you know, a couple of J bells and uh

• 57:02Theo Von?

  I'd lay down at night and I'd balance some J bells on my body. And um, and so if he tried to come get me, it would, you know, I'd it would it would, you know, you could, you'd set off the alarm, you know?

• 57:18Theo Von?

  So what else? Um, what do I, oh, what do I want for Christmas? I am getting a book that I know I asked for. Hmm, I got a couple of vitamins. I'm getting this mic arm maybe fixed. Um, what else? I'm trying to maybe take a little trip to the beach or something, but I don't know yet.

• 57:44Theo Von?

  And yeah, I'm gonna spend Christmas in Louisiana. So I'm excited about that in Baton Rouge and Covington, Mandeville, New Orleans, just around the hood. So grateful for that to see some of my friends and family. So those are things that are going on with me. Let me play a call right here.

• 58:08Speaker 05

  Hey, what's up, Theo? I'm a huge fan. I listen to your podcast at work all the time.

• 58:12Theo Von?

  Thank you, brother. Thank you for checking it out. And yeah, I feel fortunate that we get to keep doing this.

• 58:18Speaker 05

  My question is, I was in the military for five years and I was in Japan and I had a fiance of five years. And when I came home, I found out she cheated on me a year ago. Should I give her another chance since, I mean, I wasn't home all the time. I'd come home once a week every year? Or should I just move on? Thanks, gang, gang.

• 58:38Theo Von?

  You know, I think that's a great question. I think you got to look at the reality of it. If you're home once a week for a year, that's tough. Now she broke her word. Some people are young and at certain times, they just, their word isn't really as strong because they are still putting their word together. And I'm not justifying everybody's behavior. Everybody's behavior, I'm not justifying my own behavior even. But there's definitely a different, you know, you know, you're still, you're learning some things. And people say, well, you should, you're learning in your 20s. Yeah, you are. Yeah, you're learning how to be in a long, just all that stuff. You're figuring it out. Sometimes you're afraid to hurt somebody's feelings. And that's why you don't tell them, even though

• 59:21Theo Von?

  that's, it's selfish because it has hurt them in the longer way. But you don't know that you're, you're feeling, you're figuring it out sometimes. So I think it's possible. I've had friends that have forgiven the, the loved one or significant other for sexual discrepancies, and then they package it up. And now you can hear them, you know, you'll invite, I won't even invite them over because they'll be in there thumping, brother. They'll be in there just slurping. So I think that's part of it. But yeah, I think, and look, you can always try it and see how it goes. But the weird thing, and I've done this, where you forgive somebody, but then you keep bringing that shit up.

• 1:00:06Theo Von?

  That isn't good. It feels good, but it's not cool. So that's the thing you can't do. If you forgive, you have to forgive, man. You have to forgive, because otherwise, you're just letting somebody hold, you're just, you're basically holding a card. You're saying, "I'm gonna hold this card that I can use whenever I want." And that's even, that's worse than choosing to forgive or not to forgive.

• 1:00:29Theo Von?

  You know, that's you then saying, "I want this power." "I want this power to, uh, control how the situation goes constantly."

• 1:00:39Theo Von?

  And I'll notice that in my own life over certain times. Sometimes I'll, I wanna keep a, a, a level of communication. I wanna keep a li- enough distance where I can kind of, uh,

• 1:00:53Theo Von?

  like if I think somebody might be, uh, like have an issue or might be upset about, instead of bringing it up and talking and getting it out, I'd rather almost sometimes, this is not the best part of me that wants to do this, but there's a part of me sometimes that would, I'd almost rather let them be unsure.

• 1:01:11Theo Von?

  You know, because it, let them be unsure if our relationship is okay, because it gives me some sort of power. You know, um, it gives me some sort of control, perceived control and moan head and, um, and that's a sick part of me that operates that way. And it's not always or anything, and it's definitely been more in the past, but I have noticed that behavior in myself at times if I'm not doing well or not taking care of myself.

• 1:01:37Theo Von?

  I'd rather keep things on thin ice because,

• 1:01:41Theo Von?

  because I'm used to, I'm, uh, that's where I do well, you know, I'm okay on thin ice. How you gonna be out here? You know, it's that kinda shit. Um, so. But, uh, holding the grudge, or yeah, holding the grudge type shit. But yeah, man, I wish you the best luck. I think it's, uh, nice of you to call and ask about it, man. And, and also, we all figure things out as we go, so. Don't be too hard on yourself either, you know, um.

• 1:02:10Theo Von?

  Let me hear one right here. Oh, there's a bug on this wrapping paper. It's okay. Does BlueChew work? That's the question we all want to know. Does BlueChew work, baby? Does it give you that randal? Hey, got that randal on me. Well, if you're asking that question, we want you to know that BlueChew is putting their money where their mouth is by giving you one month free. Bam, wiener. BlueChew is an online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra. Hey, girl. But at a fraction of the cost and in chewable form. The process is simple. Sign up at BlueChew.com.

• 1:02:55Theo Von?

  Consult with one of their licensed medical providers, and once you're approved, you'll receive their prescription within days. BlueChew wants men rock hards, baby. They told me. Yep, that's the mission. They will not stop until every man is bricked up, like a brick house. And we've got a special deal for our audience. Try BlueChew free. Just pay $5 shipping and checkout when you visit BlueChew.com. Mmm, oh, yeah. Oh. That's BlueChew.com to receive your first month free. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information. We thank BlueChew for sponsoring this past weekend with Theobon. That's me.

• 1:03:36Theo Von?

  When you think about businesses that are selling through the roof, like ALO or Allbirds or Skims, sure, you think about their great products, their cool branding, and their brilliant marketing. But an often overlooked secret is actually the business behind the business, making selling, and for shoppers, buying, simple. For millions of businesses, that business is Shopify. Nobody does selling better than Shopify, home of the number one checkout on the planet. What I love best about Shopify is the simplicity. It's so easy. You check out, you get what you need, you check out, boom bam, and you're done.

• 1:04:16Theo Von?

  Shopify, upgrade your business and get the same checkout that we use with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com/THEO, all lowercase. That's right, go to Shopify.com/THEO to upgrade your selling today. That's S-H-O-P-I-F-Y.com/THEO. You know, I just went through this on my phone and computer, I had to get it all figured out. I was paying for extra services that I didn't want. You know, they had some different, um, annual, some of them were annual, some of them were monthly. There were things I couldn't believe I was still involved in.

• 1:05:01Theo Von?

  Rocket Money helped me figure that all out. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the app's premium features. Wow. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com/THEO. That's RocketMoney.com/THEO.

• 1:05:44Theo Von?

  RocketMoney.com/THEO. All right, y'all, it's holiday season. It's time for family and food, and let's be honest, a little bit of chaos. But while we're all out there making memories, let's keep it safe. Hopefully, the craziest thing that happens is old Uncle Ronnie tries to show you that third eye, baby. You know what I'm saying?

• 1:06:08Theo Von?

  But if things don't go as planned, like a holiday mishap that leaves you hurt or injured, well, that could be worth money. And that's why Morgan & Morgan has your back. Morgan & Morgan is America's largest injury law firm. They have over 100 offices nationwide and more than 1,000 lawyers with over $20 billion recovered for over 500,000 clients. If you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan & Morgan. Their fee is free unless they win. For more information, go to forthepeople, F-O-R-T-H-E-people.com/thispasseweekend or dial pound law, pound 529 from your cell phone.

• 1:06:52Theo Von?

  That's F-O-R-thepeople.com/thispasseweekend or pound law, pound 529 from your cell. This is a paid advertisement.

• 1:07:03Theo Von?

  Alright, let's take a call right here.

• 1:07:08Theo Von?

  Jesse's girl.

• 1:07:13Theo Von?

  Tiffany, get out here, they got aliens out here.

• 1:07:20Theo Von?

  Hey, quit, hey, bring out a couple manac- warm up the manacotti, they got fucking aliens out here. Aliens, you think an alien is gonna come to America on a fucking drone or whatever? On some bitch ass Toyota drone or something? Them bitches got, it's basically a ceiling fan that's in the fucking air with a couple Christmas lights on it? Look at these aliens, bro, aliens are doing alien, they blink their eyes and your fucking asshole's missing. They're, they're, they're doing, they're on another level. You think they're out here just, uh, just running around just on, you know, uh, 97 octane over here?

• 1:08:03Theo Von?

  Just, just peeking in neighborhoods and shit? Over here looking at a bunch of above-ground swimming pools? Just watching people just singing, uh, Bruce Springsteen in above-ground swimming pools over there, outside of Trenton or whatever? Get fracked. Bruh!

• 1:08:23Theo Von?

  Stringing up these lights!

• 1:08:28Theo Von?

  Anyway, onward? Thank you, um, I think I'm gonna throw a little bit of a rough patch.

• 1:08:34Speaker 06

  Lost my job, lost my house, um, about a year after divorce.

• 1:08:39Theo Von?

  Okay, rough patch. Lost your job and your home. Man, I'm sorry to hear that. And it's been about a year since your divorce.

• 1:08:46Speaker 06

  Um, so I'm fighting for my kid right now. Things been getting easier, man.

• 1:08:51Theo Von?

  You're in a court battle for your child, you're saying, and things aren't getting easier.

• 1:08:55Speaker 06

  My road's in.

• 1:08:58Speaker 06

  I just need to figure out how to be a person again. Been through rehab three times. Last time things be sticking pretty good, so there's that. But, um, man, why does it seem like everybody gets to be happy but me? I'm just at a loss with it, man. I've worked hard my whole life. Keep going and going and everything just keeps slipping and slipping. And I just, I don't know what to do anymore, man. Things are just getting way out of control for what I can handle.

• 1:09:35Theo Von?

  Hey, man, brother, I appreciate you reaching out and just saying, hey, seeing what's going on. Yeah, dude, I definitely, you know, God.

• 1:09:44Theo Von?

  I've felt down in the dumps. I think everybody has at some point.

• 1:09:50Theo Von?

  You know, and yeah, when the chips keep falling the other way, you know?

• 1:09:54Theo Von?

  When the Asian guy keeps winning all the gambling stuff.

• 1:10:00Theo Von?

  Fu house, bubba. Korea.

• 1:10:05Theo Von?

  Um.

• 1:10:09Theo Von?

  Yeah, man, I, uh... You know, I'll tell you a couple of things, man, that I've had noticed in myself. So there was times...

• 1:10:21Theo Von?

  There was times when, um, I only noticed the rough shit in my, in my life. I only noticed it. I'm not saying this happened to you. But that self pity became my alcohol.

• 1:10:37Theo Von?

  Anytime I needed this, I'd feel sorry for myself. Well, let me open up another can of, I feel sorry for myself. I'm not saying this what you're doing at all. This just reminded me of this for myself. And I mean that wholeheartedly, bro. I would just slurp a six pack of self pity. That was my drug. This is wrong. I can't, not, you know? And once, when that hit me, I was like, oh shit, man, I'm, you know, I'm, I'm washing myself in bathwater. I'm get, I'm doing the things I'm supposed to do to take care of myself. I'm getting this stuff off of me and out of my system, but then I'm, I got a straw in my own bathwater. And I was sitting there just slithering on my own sadness all the time. Now, I'm not saying that's what you're doing, but I noticed for myself that my, that self pity became a drug for me.

• 1:11:23Theo Von?

  Um, what else, man? Let me think of something else. Um.

• 1:11:31Theo Von?

  You know, that's a lot, man, because a lot of what you're saying has real like emotional attachment to it. You're trying to get your kids, you, out of your house, you know, you're, that's a lot of upheaval.

• 1:11:45Theo Von?

  And I think some of that probably just takes time, you know, um. But yeah, I'm sorry, man, that's also a lot. That's a lot. And so I think just, uh, give yourself some grace to be, you know, to not also put the pressure on yourself to feel great. You know, it's a lot of tough stuff going on.

• 1:12:05Theo Von?

  You know, the other day I was upset about something. I wanted to call and just fucking rearrange the tits on somebody. I wanted to switch them bitches, put the FM one on the AM dial and vice versa. I was just pissed at this lady.

• 1:12:24Theo Von?

  But instead I just sat in my car for a little bit.

• 1:12:28Theo Von?

  I breathed. That's why God gave me this big note and he's like, breathe motherfucker, what are you doing? You out here just fucking just taking chances bitch? I told, I'm showing you. You know, do eight ball of air, buddy. We need, you know, G up.

• 1:12:44Theo Von?

  Um, and I had me a couple Charleston shoes there. I found them in my corridor and ate them bitches and, um.

• 1:12:55Theo Von?

  Oh, and then I just went to a AA meeting and after that, after that, I even called my brother. I say, man, I can't. I'm about to lose, you know, if I call this person right now, I'm gonna lose my mind. He said, well, wait till, wait till later.

• 1:13:09Theo Von?

  Because I was attaching all this other shit to how, to my day. I was attaching all this old, these feelings and stuff to my day.

• 1:13:20Theo Von?

  And to that next thing, I would bring in a whole trailer full of bullshit. And I was gonna hitch it to this one moment. About the way things had gone down with this, um. This woman. It wasn't like a dating, it was a work, work thing. But it was all me, it was all my shit, you know? Um, that I was bringing extra. To what was just, and then when I finally was chill, later on, it was a normal conversation. And it was actually positive. So it could be positive. I don't know what I'm telling you, man. I'm just telling you, I'm just. Yeah, man, I'm sorry that you're dealing with that. And it's a tough time of year and it's the holidays. And, uh, but you're not alone, man, you know? We're only alone when we find ourselves alone. We gotta remember to get out there, too.

• 1:14:05Theo Von?

  Nobody's gonna come and just help us be unalone. We have to do it.

• 1:14:10Theo Von?

  You know? And they say that old saying, you know, nothing changes if nothing changes, you know? So if I want something to be different, I have to do something different.

• 1:14:23Theo Von?

  And I'm not preaching at you, I'm listening. I'm, I'm, I'm basically just talking to myself right on. But.

• 1:14:31Theo Von?

  But yeah, man, I love you and keep your head up and next year will be a different year.

• 1:14:36Theo Von?

  You know, next year will be a different year. And don't leave before the miracle happens. You know that saying, that's what they say. But Merry Christmas. Thank you for being a support, supportive of this podcast. Thank you for letting me be a part of your life.

• 1:14:52Theo Von?

  I'm gonna make some New Year's resolutions, something, nothing too heavy, just some things like some goals for the new year. You know, we wanna do more ways to give back and I'm excited about that. We're finally putting a foundation together, so that's really exciting.

• 1:15:06Theo Von?

  And so we're gonna be able to find ways to do that. And, uh. What else? I think to just learn more from, uh, people that can help us learn. You know, I wanna learn more and get more information.

• 1:15:22Theo Von?

  And learn more about myself, too. You know, and, uh. And try not to do everything by myself.

• 1:15:32Theo Von?

  You know, that's one of my things I struggle with sometimes. I just want to do it all alone. But the saddest thing I've realized, when you do everything alone,

• 1:15:41Theo Von?

  after it's done, there's nobody to talk to about it.

• 1:15:45Theo Von?

  There's nobody to share with, you know.

• 1:15:49Theo Von?

  But, anyway, not trying to end on a dour note. Oh yeah, we went out Christmas caroling the other day, you know. I'd been wanting to get out and do it. And it was, uh, just some guys from the gym. We put a little squad together and went out there. And hit the streets and, uh, we had a couple bangers, a couple songs we had to give up in, just in the middle of it.

• 1:16:13Theo Von?

  There was one church group that was having a dinner. They invited us in for some cookies and,

• 1:16:19Theo Von?

  select meats and stuff and, it was good, man. It was, we did a good job. We did a good job out there. We just put some songs together and just walked the streets and, just went up to people's doors and knocked and, yeah, people were happy. Somebody had a dog that saw us as well. And so people and animals were really enjoying it and, when Alzheimer's saw us and then, I don't know if she saw us or not, but we was there. But we enjoyed it, man. And, um, anyway, I just want to wish everybody a, uh, a Merry Christmas. You guys take care of each other. Take care of your loved ones. Sorry if I sound preachy. I feel really preachy. Uh, I don't mean to.

• 1:17:04Theo Von?

  I gotta go do some work after this and that's okay. You know?

• 1:17:11Theo Von?

  Sometimes I struggle with, like, I'll get up and I'll be like, I have to do that. I have to do this. Instead, like, you know, I get to do this. People say that all the time, but it's like, I really have to take that moment more and try to see, look at my own perspective. Like, this is life. You know, this is life. And you get to do it. And so how do I want to feel about it? Right?

• 1:17:37Theo Von?

  Yeah, and that's something I gotta, how do I, how do I wanna feel about it? And sometimes I'll still choose, I wanna feel pissed about it, I wanna feel bad about it. You know, and then it's like, well, why, why do I wanna feel that way? Uh, I wanna feel bad about it. I wanna feel pissed about it.

• 1:17:57Theo Von?

  Cause then it's really just me advertising, I want you to feel how I feel, right? That's kinda what it is. There's something inside of me

• 1:18:06Theo Von?

  that I want you to feel.

• 1:18:09Theo Von?

  You know, it's like, oh, it's not fair that I have to feel bad, you should feel, so I'm gonna bring that energy out of myself. And I think more often than not, if I can try to get a little bit more around like,

• 1:18:21Theo Von?

  well, let me find a good part of me, let me find a part of me that's hopeful, that's grateful, that has a, that's that fighting chance, let me find that part of me, inside of me, and bring that part to the front of me.

• 1:18:36Theo Von?

  Cause that's also a part of me, that, that's just as, just as the part of me is that

• 1:18:42Theo Von?

  wants you to see like the part, that part of me that, that has pain, there's a part of me that has pride. You know? And that has hope, and that is a part of me too, that I, sometimes I don't summon that part of me enough uh, to the front of myself.

• 1:18:59Theo Von?

  And I'm not, there's no judgment in that, I'm just kind of thinking and realizing it, like I almost wanna bring sometimes a little bit of a victim hood.

• 1:19:09Theo Von?

  I don't know if it's a victim, but I want, I just, I want somebody to recognize, you know, uh, something, you know, I wanna, you know, but, but there's also a part of me that's like,

• 1:19:23Theo Von?

  I got this. You know? I can do this.

• 1:19:29Theo Von?

  You know? I'm okay. I can handle this, I love myself, I love some, someone, I love someone, so these are my hopes, these are my dreams, let me walk out into the world with that. Let me bring that. Let that be the mirror that people see when they come up to me.

• 1:19:46Theo Von?

  And then I'll probably get more reflection out of the world than I would like than when I show up the other way.

• 1:19:55Theo Von?

  But, anyway, man, I love you guys, and just, uh, thank you for coming out to the shows this year and being so supportive and, um, yeah.

• 1:20:06Theo Von?

  And be good to yourselves, man. You guys deserve it. Let's go out on one. This is also, these are all from Epidemic Sounds is where we get our music from. You can listen to these bangers in there. And this is "The Christmas Spirit" by the Snowy Hill Singers. And you guys be good to yourselves. What a fun year I think we tried to have. You know, and I just pray that we can have a good one next year too. You know, we got this baby. Praise God, baby gang.

• 1:20:55Theo Von?

  I hate that shit. Let me give one more.

• 1:21:00Theo Von?

  That was an antithesis of what I just said.

• 1:21:07Theo Von?

  Sorry, dude. Alright, let's hear this one, guys. Love y'all.

• 1:21:13Theo Von?

  Oh yeah, baby.

• 1:21:15Theo Von?

  Turn them lights off, baby. Turn them on, actually. I gotta find my shoes.

• 1:21:24Theo Von?

  Oh God, boy.

• 1:21:30Theo Von?

  Oh yeah. Let me put some lotion on your legs, big daddy.

• 1:21:37Theo Von?

  I remember this old guy in our neighborhood would let us lotion his legs up, or his son would let him. This old, this man would let us lotion up his dad's legs. His dad had been in

• 1:21:48Theo Von?

  in the war, I think, or in a fire or something. He would let us put the lotion on him when we were young.

• 1:22:01Theo Von?

  This reminds me of that.

• 1:22:11Theo Von?

  Alright, that ain't it either, Jesus Christ, that's sad. Uh... Let's see, one more that we got here. Let's try this one.

• 1:22:24Theo Von?

  Oh yeah.

• 1:22:26Theo Von?

  Hey, what's up? Not much, dawg.

• 1:22:32Theo Von?

  I want to go gambling! Hey, I gamble!

• 1:22:38Theo Von?

  I gamble! Ha!

• 1:22:45Theo Von?

  Hawaii 5-0!

• 1:22:49Theo Von?

  Merry Christmas, everybody. This is the Peaceful Christmas Waltz.

• 1:22:57Theo Von?

  By Von Meyer. Von Meyer.

• 1:23:02Theo Von?

  No relative of mine.

• 1:23:16Theo Von?

  In a special, uh...

• 1:23:19Theo Von?

  This sounds like somebody kinda dancing their way up to heaven.

• 1:23:23Theo Von?

  Just on the different stairs.

• 1:23:28Theo Von?

  And that may be my buddy Donnie Aeter, big... I like to say, "Peace and blessings to my buddy Donnie Aeter, he's headed to heaven." And he sold, uh... Big rig truck and tractor supplies over there.

• 1:23:43Theo Von?

  On the Louisiana border, baby. God bless you, brother.

• 1:24:04Theo Von?

  Merry Christmas, everyone.

• 1:24:07Theo Von?

  Guy.