MFM Minisode 412

This week’s hometowns include a self-reporting trash parent and summer camp memories.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is exactly right.

• 0:06Speaker 01

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• 0:36Speaker 02

  This is Iris Palmer from Against All Odds with Iris Palmer. You know it's the holidays when somebody in the family starts cooking before the sun comes up. The babusas are grilling in the pan, everybody's sneaking bites, and somehow, there's always room for one more person at the table. And nothing goes better with that first holiday plate than a delicious Coca-Cola. That crisp, refreshing taste makes everything that much better. Because the best holiday traditions aren't just about what we're eating, they're about who we're sharing those moments with. So check that shopping list twice. Stock up on Coca-Cola for all your family fiestas y disfrutas. Coca-Cola.

• 1:29Karen Kilgariff?

  Hello. And welcome.

• 1:32Georgia Hardstark?

  To my favorite murder.

• 1:33Karen Kilgariff?

  The minisode.

• 1:34Georgia Hardstark?

  Where we read you your stories.

• 1:35Karen Kilgariff?

  You send in emails. We agreed we would read them. What more do you want us to do?

• 1:40Georgia Hardstark?

  And they can be about anything at this point in life.

• 1:42Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 1:43Georgia Hardstark?

  I mean, fuck it, you know?

• 1:44Karen Kilgariff?

  Truly. Would you like to go first?

• 1:46Georgia Hardstark?

  Sure. This one's called "Creating New Fears for My Child." Hello from Virginia. In a recent hometown, y'all asked for our own trash parenting stories and I am finally in there.

• 1:58Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 1:59Georgia Hardstark?

  I was 21 when I had my first child, so basically a baby raising a baby. And somewhere along the way, I started joking with her about, quote, "dropping her off at the fire station."

• 2:09Karen Kilgariff?

  Um.

• 2:10Georgia Hardstark?

  My mom did a similar thing. Because they have the baby drop boxes and I always thought it was a joke. We even joked about how she would have to tuck her knees because she was probably getting too big for the box.

• 2:20Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh.

• 2:21Georgia Hardstark?

  One day, when she was about five years old, when I dropped her off at her on-base daycare, they informed me that the fire department would be doing an annual walk-through later in the day. Okay, cool, no big deal. Until her daycare provider called me a few hours later, because when my daughter saw the fire truck out front, she ran into a closet screaming, "No, don't take me, I'll be good."

• 2:43Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh.

• 2:44Georgia Hardstark?

  That's right. My daughter thought the fire department had come to pick her up and take her away. She was hysterical. Turns out, I had successfully made her terrified of all firefighters. Good news, she's now 15 and no longer scared, but it was super fun explaining to her daycare provider that I was actually a terrible parent and to please not report us. Thank you guys for all that you do and keeping me company on long drives into work. Sicily. And then it says, "Good luck on the pronunciation." I just go with whatever these days. Looks like Cecily.

• 3:16Karen Kilgariff?

  Cecily or Sicily?

• 3:18Georgia Hardstark?

  Cecily, I'm gonna go Cecily.

• 3:19Karen Kilgariff?

  Cecily's cool.

• 3:20Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 3:21Karen Kilgariff?

  I like that name. I like a self-reporting trash parent.

• 3:24Georgia Hardstark?

  I do too.

• 3:25Karen Kilgariff?

  Please, if you've been trashy and you want to talk about it, we're here for you.

• 3:28Georgia Hardstark?

  You all have those stories, we know it.

• 3:30Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean, come on. Also, it's that thing where I think, for my trash babysitter story of my own, it was like, I only ever related to other adults, so I forgot that children do not relate the same way.

• 3:42Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 3:43Karen Kilgariff?

  And I wonder if it's like, that's part of it. It's like, you're a young parent and you're just like, "Oh wait, okay, that's right." Okay. Here's my first story. The subject line is, "An Irish hometown story with a difference." Hi Karen, Georgia, Steven, Alejandra, and all furry creatures. I love you gals, obviously, as you brighten up my day. It says, "Brighten up me day."

• 4:03Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, me day.

• 4:04Karen Kilgariff?

  Because they're Irish.

• 4:05Georgia Hardstark?

  Me day.

• 4:07Karen Kilgariff?

  I should brighten up me day. My walks, when I'm cooking, et cetera, et cetera. I first came across your podcast a few years ago when I heard my colleagues giggling in the office with their earphones in. They were all listening to you while working.

• 4:20Georgia Hardstark?

  Ah.

• 4:21Karen Kilgariff?

  Nice. So I could tell you about the spooky happenings in the house I grew up in that's over 120 years old, but I'll leave that to another time and tell you about something way better. I wanted to let you know about a fantastic 83 year old from Ireland who was a crucial behind the scenes part of The Banshees of Inisherin.

• 4:40Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh shit.

• 4:41Karen Kilgariff?

  Did you watch that movie?

• 4:42Georgia Hardstark?

  I loved that movie.

• 4:44Karen Kilgariff?

  We think it's such a lovely story and of course Karen's Irish, so we wanted to share it with you. Delia Berry joined the knitting group through Greystone's cancer support when her husband Patty died over 10 years ago. She found friends and comfort from this group and from GCS, so she wanted to give something special back. Something else special about Delia is that she also took in her sister's four children when she lost her sister to cancer many years ago. Delia is Jesus's favorite person. She shot to fame having knit the iconic Jumpers sweaters for Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson, and Barry Keoghan in the Oscar nominated movie, The Banshees of Inisherin.

• 5:27Georgia Hardstark?

  Wow.

• 5:28Karen Kilgariff?

  So that movie is like, the sweaters are the third lead.

• 5:31Georgia Hardstark?

  Yes.

• 5:32Karen Kilgariff?

  And Delia is the one who made all of them.

• 5:34Georgia Hardstark?

  Amazing.

• 5:36Karen Kilgariff?

  Also, Colin Farrell's sister, who actually won an Oscar for best supporting Carrie something, has an incredible cardigan that I was obsessed with, like every, I watched it like three times.

• 5:46Georgia Hardstark?

  I wonder if she made it. You can get, you can commission one.

• 5:48Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, that's right. Delia, I need to talk to you.

• 5:51Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 5:52Karen Kilgariff?

  So Brendan Gleeson has even asked her to knit two more for him since. What we didn't know before now was that Delia is no stranger to the celebrity world, having knit for Meryl Streep for her role in Dancing at Luganza, and having taught Emily Watson how to knit for her role in the movie Little Women.

• 6:10Georgia Hardstark?

  Cute.

• 6:12Karen Kilgariff?

  Delia is an international superstar.

• 6:14Georgia Hardstark?

  Teach me how to knit.

• 6:16Karen Kilgariff?

  She fits knitting in and around her bingo and walks around her town, Greystone's, County Wicklow, in the Garden of Ireland. In the Garden of Ireland? Is that a saying?

• 6:26Georgia Hardstark?

  You tell me.

• 6:27Karen Kilgariff?

  I can't. How cool is she, right? If you'd like to read more about our famous and generous Delia, you can read all about her in the New York Times, Vogue, the Daily Mail, to name a few. This is the best. Stay sexy and don't get murdered and wrap yourself in a cost knit Aaron sweater knit with love, Mary.

• 6:46Georgia Hardstark?

  Wow.

• 6:47Karen Kilgariff?

  Mary, I love that email.

• 6:49Georgia Hardstark?

  It makes me want to be an old lady, like I'm excited to be an old lady.

• 6:52Karen Kilgariff?

  Also, it's like, the thing that brought her to knitting was this painful, difficult thing that then knitting actually helped her with, and then she kind of kept powering through, and then she was like, now everybody loves my knitting.

• 7:07Georgia Hardstark?

  And now she needs her own movie.

• 7:08Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, she actually does. And like, all those stars will come and star in it with her.

• 7:13Georgia Hardstark?

  Stop it.

• 7:14Karen Kilgariff?

  I love it.

• 7:16Georgia Hardstark?

  I'm mad, I'm mad I love it so much.

• 7:19Karen Kilgariff?

  Such a good email.

• 7:20Georgia Hardstark?

  The holidays are coming, which means we'll all be spending more time away from home.

• 7:24Karen Kilgariff?

  Whether you're visiting family or doing something actually fun, you want to know your home is protected while you're away.

• 7:30Georgia Hardstark?

  That's why now is a good time to think about home security with SimpliSafe.

• 7:33Karen Kilgariff?

  Unlike traditional security systems that alert you after a break in starts, SimpliSafe is designed to help stop intruders before they get inside. These days, you're worried about your house, you're out of town, and then something comes up and you get to look on your phone, and SimpliSafe is going to show you not only the video of like, it's a raccoon at your front door, but also that they have staff that's sitting there, they already know, and if it was something different or worse, they would have already been on it.

• 7:59Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, I really think that's invaluable peace of mind, that just like relying on your neighbors, paying attention is not going to give you. We've partnered with SimpliSafe to offer our listeners their biggest savings of the year, 70% off your new system with professional monitoring when you visit simplisafe.com/mfm.

• 8:16Karen Kilgariff?

  That's simplisafe.com/mfm, and when you order, write in MFM at checkout, and it tells them we sent you, and it really helps the show.

• 8:24Georgia Hardstark?

  SimpliSafe, ahead of crime, in real time.

• 8:27Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye. Nothing makes you take a good, hard look at your furniture like inviting people over for the holidays.

• 8:33Georgia Hardstark?

  So give your home a little holiday upgrade with Article.

• 8:36Karen Kilgariff?

  Article makes it effortless to create a stylish Long-lasting home at an unbeatable price.

• 8:41Georgia Hardstark?

  They take great care in curating their collection, focusing on pieces that stand the test of time. There's no filler. Every item is chosen for its craftsmanship, design, and lasting value.

• 8:50Karen Kilgariff?

  And with Article's 30-day satisfaction guarantee, you can shop with confidence, knowing that if you're not completely in love with your new furniture, you can easily return it.

• 8:58Georgia Hardstark?

  Plus, Article's customer care team is available seven days a week. I know we're getting into fall and winter, but we live in Los Angeles, so my outdoor furniture is just like the perfect focal point for the pool parties we still end up having. Sorry, everyone, when it's like sunny and gorgeous year round. I sit on my Article patio furniture every morning and have my coffee and watch Cookie lay in the sun, and the whole thing is just so peaceful and pretty. Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more.

• 9:28Karen Kilgariff?

  To claim, visit article.com/murder, and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout.

• 9:33Georgia Hardstark?

  That's article.com/murder for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more.

• 9:38Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye. Cozy season is nearly upon us.

• 9:42Georgia Hardstark?

  That means crisp weather and soft layers.

• 9:44Karen Kilgariff?

  Prepare accordingly with fall staples from Bombas.

• 9:47Georgia Hardstark?

  Bombas has your favorite footwear for fall, including new suede moccasins with cushy soles, shearling lining, and water-resistant suede, plus soft slippers, slides, and booties.

• 9:57Karen Kilgariff?

  There's a Bombas sock for pretty much any fall occasion, from warm merino wool blends to sweat-wicking sports socks and dressier options for weddings.

• 10:05Georgia Hardstark?

  And for every Bombas item purchased, they donated an essential clothing item to someone facing housing insecurity, with more than 200 million items donated so far. Okay, so when fall comes around, I have a pair of the Bombas booties pretty much in every room, so I can grab them when my feet inevitably become freezing, which they are constantly. And they're so comfy. You can wear them around the house. I wear them to bed, and they just make everything feel a little cozier.

• 10:32Karen Kilgariff?

  Head over to bombas.com/mfm and use code MFM for 20% off your first purchase.

• 10:37Georgia Hardstark?

  That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com slash MFM, code MFM at checkout.

• 10:43Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

• 10:46Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay, just found out my uncle's death was a murder. All the requisite pleasantries and compliments. I'm from a large, east coast Puerto Rican family of murderinos. My abuelos, grandparents, were married for almost 70 years before abuelo became an ancestor. Isn't that a beautiful way of saying he passed on? Yeah. And I am the oldest of 16 grandchildren. Several of us kids grew up on a heavy dose of Diagnosis Murder 2020 CSI and the list goes on. Diagnosis Murder. Yeah. Recently, I think I uncovered our family's murderino origin story. When I was growing up, our relative Rosa, and it says all names changed, would occasionally come visit from Puerto Rico with her two kids, Letty and Roberto.

• 11:30Georgia Hardstark?

  Rosa's relation to us was unclear, but I assumed that she was a distant aunt. During their visits, they would go to the local cemetery where Rosa's husband, my assumed uncle, was buried. I always wondered why he would be here instead of in Puerto Rico. Cut to a few weeks ago. A handful of the family was at abuela's house poring through old albums and bins of pictures. My sister pulls out an eight by 10 portrait of a handsome young man that looked like it was from the 60s. "Who's this?" she asked. "Oh, that's Javier, Rosa's husband," my abuela said solemnly. "You know," she said, turning to me, "they killed him." I instantly had about a million questions and went to work trying to get them all answered.

• 12:11Georgia Hardstark?

  So here's the story I was able to get from my abuela, my mom, and a free trial to a newspaper website.

• 12:19Georgia Hardstark?

  In the mid 80s, Rosa unfortunately had a miscarriage. Javier, who was my abuelo's cousin, that's how they related? Dropped off a young Letty and Roberto at my abuelo's house so he could go be with Rosa in the hospital. It was the last time any of our family would see him alive. His body was found in a field the next day. He was 38 years old. The police interviewed everyone at my abuela's house, including my mom, since that was the last place he was seen. It took months of investigation, but the story came together. Javier dropped off the kids and was carjacked on the way to the hospital. He withdrew $100 from the ATM and 25 minutes later, his car was found on fire in the residential area.

• 13:03Georgia Hardstark?

  They found him the following day. He had been shot execution style. Nearly two years later, three suspects were arrested and one was eventually convicted. He was also convicted of killing a cab driver a few weeks after Javier's murder and is suspected to be involved in a few other murders. After the trial, Rosa took the kids and moved back to Puerto Rico.

• 13:24Karen Kilgariff?

  So this happened in the US?

• 13:26Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah. By all accounts, she was never the same. Apparently, the murderer was up for parole in 2019, and my uncle spoke at the hearing on behalf of our family. Everyone kept it quiet because they didn't want Rosa to find out. We're unsure of what the outcome was, but COVID hit shortly thereafter and the murderer died in prison.

• 13:45Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh.

• 13:46Georgia Hardstark?

  I found his obituary, and it's clear his family loved him very much, just as our family loved Javier.

• 13:52Karen Kilgariff?

  Hmm.

• 13:53Georgia Hardstark?

  That's like a really beautiful sentiment.

• 13:55Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, it is.

• 13:56Georgia Hardstark?

  Isn't it?

• 13:57Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 13:58Georgia Hardstark?

  I've been musing about what could make a 23-year-old man who was full of potential go on a robbery and murder spree, but this email is long enough. The whole ordeal was traumatizing for my family, and my theory is that it created a generational anxiety that fuels our interest in true crime. Or maybe it's just a horrible story that I feel the need to wrap up nicely. Either way, stay sexy and don't carjack people. J, she/her.

• 14:21Karen Kilgariff?

  Wow, J.

• 14:22Georgia Hardstark?

  That's a classic hometown.

• 14:24Karen Kilgariff?

  And also, just so personal and kind of beautiful.

• 14:28Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 14:29Karen Kilgariff?

  Like, because, yeah, why would a 23-year-old be not just robbing people, robbing and murdering them?

• 14:37Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 14:38Karen Kilgariff?

  Like...

• 14:39Georgia Hardstark?

  This email makes it clear that J has a really big heart. You know what I mean? Like, I totally got that just from the story being told.

• 14:44Karen Kilgariff?

  Right. Yeah. Thank you for sending that in.

• 14:47Georgia Hardstark?

  Thank you.

• 14:48Karen Kilgariff?

  Okay, we're gonna take a little left turn.

• 14:49Georgia Hardstark?

  Please.

• 14:50Karen Kilgariff?

  And go to subject line, "Culty Christian Camp."

• 14:52Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay.

• 14:53Karen Kilgariff?

  And then it just says, "Sup. You all have been the voices I fall asleep to for years now, so thank you for your sweet, murderous bedtime tales. They've definitely helped me avoid the shame merry-go-round I typically ride as I'm falling asleep, so thank you."

• 15:08Georgia Hardstark?

  I am very familiar with that ride.

• 15:10Karen Kilgariff?

  I've been on it a time or two myself.

• 15:13Georgia Hardstark?

  Honored to be part of the soundtrack.

• 15:15Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean, it actually, that kind of just made me think where it's like, yeah, if it's a shame merry-go-round, how do you like avoid it? It's like you have to do a step up of like engaging different feelings, stronger feelings.

• 15:27Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, to make something louder.

• 15:28Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 15:29Georgia Hardstark?

  And we're fucking plenty loud, so.

• 15:30Karen Kilgariff?

  Phew. I was re-listening to Minisode 278 the other night and it sparked a memory of summer camp for me that I had to tell you guys. In the late 90s, I went to a Christian summer camp with my best friend for some godforsaken reason and it was as close to being inducted into a cult as I have ever come. Picture it: summer in the Rocky Mountains, clean-cut Christian teenager camp counselors, horseback riding, mess halls, and coming home with hand, foot, mouth disease.

• 15:57Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, my God. No!

• 16:00Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 16:01Georgia Hardstark?

  I was about to say, I went to a camp like that, but it was Jewish. No, we did not.

• 16:04Karen Kilgariff?

  Didn't get that, yeah. All the camp staples, it says, except there was some very weird Christian spice in there. We attended sunrise sermons, lunchtime Bible studies, and midnight campfire sermons. One of the stranger "games" quote-unquote they had us play was to go out into the forest after dark in pairs of two and find counselors scattered around acting like they were non-believers and we had to do our best to convert them or convince them to give Christianity a try.

• 16:33Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, my God.

• 16:35Karen Kilgariff?

  Like a culty scavenger hunt. The whole week culminated into a sunset sermon overlooking the mountains given by the owner of the camp, singing worship songs and everyone becoming very emotional. At one point, he told all the campers to close their eyes and raise their hands if they felt like they accepted Jesus into their heart this week. I was absolutely nosey and peeked and saw my best friend raise her hand and because I'm a girl's girl and definitely did not want to be left out, I raised my hand too.

• 17:04Georgia Hardstark?

  That's the right answer.

• 17:05Karen Kilgariff?

  The speaker then asked us to lower our hands and open our eyes and asked who would be brave enough to come stand up front if we had raised our hand? Well, Mama didn't raise no pussy, so I got up.

• 17:20Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean, so I get up and went to the front with some reluctant others, expecting my best friend to come up too. She did not. So there I was, standing up while the crowd cheered and my best friend got teary eyed, saying how glad she was that I finally accepted Jesus. What the fuck, Chelsea?

• 17:37Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, no.

• 17:38Karen Kilgariff?

  The speaker then asked us to write our name in the Book of Life, whatever the fuck that was.

• 17:43Georgia Hardstark?

  That's a Jewish thing.

• 17:44Karen Kilgariff?

  Is it? Oh, they just kind of blended a little.

• 17:46Georgia Hardstark?

  Well, they just don't want a lot of shit, but yeah, go ahead.

• 17:50Karen Kilgariff?

  Really sorry, on behalf of me and Chelsea, sorry. That's really funny. What if they were like ex-Jewish, now they were born again Christian? But this actually was kind of effective.

• 18:01Georgia Hardstark?

  This one.

• 18:02Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah. Well, I winkled my way out of that step and decided I didn't think summer camp was for me anymore. So that's really, that's right where she stops. Anyway, thank you for all you do. You've been my most reliable best friends through years of postpartum depression. Regular depression and finding a wonderful therapist to help unpack all that shit. Partly due to listening to you guys talk about the ways you have benefited from therapy. You're both wonderful. Stay sexy and definitely stay out of the forest at a Christian summer camp. Kate, she, her. Oh, that's really funny. She winkled her way out of that one.

• 18:42Georgia Hardstark?

  The holidays are coming, which means we'll all be spending more time away from home.

• 18:45Karen Kilgariff?

  Whether you're visiting family or doing something actually fun, you want to know your home is protected while you're away.

• 18:51Georgia Hardstark?

  That's why now is a good time to think about home security with SimpliSafe.

• 18:54Karen Kilgariff?

  Unlike traditional security systems that alert you after a break-in starts, SimpliSafe is designed to help stop intruders before they get inside. These days, you're worried about your house, you're out of town, and then something comes up and you get to look on your phone and SimpliSafe is going to show you not only the video of like, it's a raccoon at your front door, but also that they have staff that's sitting there, they already know. And if it was something different or worse, they would have already been on it.

• 19:20Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, I really think that's invaluable peace of mind that just like relying on your neighbors, paying attention is not going to give you. We've partnered with SimpliSafe. To offer our listeners their biggest savings of the year, 70% off your new system with professional monitoring when you visit simplysafe.com/mfm.

• 19:38Karen Kilgariff?

  That's simplysafe.com/mfm. And when you order, write in MFM at checkout and it tells them we sent you and it really helps the show.

• 19:45Georgia Hardstark?

  Simply Safe, ahead of crime in real time.

• 19:48Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye. Cozy season is nearly upon us.

• 19:51Georgia Hardstark?

  That means crisp weather and soft layers.

• 19:54Karen Kilgariff?

  Prepare accordingly with fall staples from Bombas.

• 19:56Georgia Hardstark?

  Bombas has your favorite footwear for fall, including new suede moccasins with cushy soles, shearling lining, and water-resistant suede, plus soft slippers, slides, and booties.

• 20:07Karen Kilgariff?

  There's a Bombas sock for pretty much any fall occasion, from warm merino wool blends to sweat-wicking sport socks and dressier options for weddings.

• 20:15Georgia Hardstark?

  And for every Bombas item purchased, they donated an essential clothing item to someone facing housing insecurity, with more than 200 million items donated so far. Okay, so when fall comes around, I have a pair of the Bombas booties pretty much in every room, so I can grab them when my feet inevitably become freezing, which they are constantly. And they're so comfy, you can wear them around the house, I wear them to bed, and they just make everything feel a little cozier.

• 20:41Karen Kilgariff?

  Head over to bombas.com/mfm and use code MFM for 20% off your first purchase.

• 20:47Georgia Hardstark?

  That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com slash MFM, code MFM at checkout.

• 20:52Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye. You know a favorite M-word?

• 20:55Georgia Hardstark?

  Magnesium. Like the kind that's in Dr. Teal's magnesium spray.

• 20:59Karen Kilgariff?

  Made from a proprietary blend of topical minerals powered by pure Epsom salt and natural Dead Sea salt, it's designed to help you relax and get in the right state of mind for a good night's rest.

• 21:09Georgia Hardstark?

  If you need a reset after a crazy day, make Dr. Teal's magnesium spray part of your nighttime routine. It's an effortless way to get a boost of topical magnesium that can help you relax your body and mind before bedtime.

• 21:21Karen Kilgariff?

  Dr. Teal's magnesium spray comes in a lightweight, fast-drying formula.

• 21:24Georgia Hardstark?

  Just shake it up and generously spritz onto the soles of your feet and massage until absorbed.

• 21:29Karen Kilgariff?

  I was kind of blown away the first time I used this spray because I do have problems sleeping. And when there's something this simple, you just spray it on your feet and suddenly you're asleep and the next morning you're like, wait, what happened? Did my problem just get solved? Like, it actually is that easy.

• 21:44Georgia Hardstark?

  And your stinky feet now smell like lavender. Like, what more do you want?

• 21:47Karen Kilgariff?

  How dare you call my feet stinky?

• 21:49Georgia Hardstark?

  For wellness, you can feel find Dr. Teal's magnesium spray online or in your local bath aisle.

• 21:55Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

• 21:57Georgia Hardstark?

  My last one's called "The Anne Frank Sandwich Story." Hello, I love you all. Let's fucking go. For the past 10 years, I have been the proud stepmom to Ella, 20, and Sam, 23. And I myself have a pretty rad stepmom. This story took place when Ella was around seven. My husband and I had been struggling to get Ella to eat the lunches we packed her for school. The excuses were rampant: ran out of time, didn't have a fork, an alien invaded the lunchroom, etc. It was a temporarily frustrating time in our lives, to be sure, and many grapes were sacrificed. One day after school, Ella was telling me about her day and what she learned. As she did so, her excitement grew. She wrote a book! She's famous!

• 22:41Georgia Hardstark?

  As if the subject were a pop culture celebrity. As I listened, it did not seem as if said historical figure's whole story had been told, and I started to wonder what the fuck to say to help her understand the horror and atrocity Anne Frank endured without crushing my sweet child's innocence.

• 22:59Georgia Hardstark?

  I asked her a few follow-ups as she unpacked her things, and we delicately made our way around the topic until it seemed she started to grasp the tiny bits of reality being sprinkled in, and her fangirl tone became a little more balanced. How do you?

• 23:14Karen Kilgariff?

  She wrote a book. She was famous.

• 23:16Georgia Hardstark?

  She wrote a book! She was famous!

• 23:17Karen Kilgariff?

  Well, also, it is exciting that you're that age and you would get a book published. Like, it's like, I'm sure she was like, "Could I do that?"

• 23:23Georgia Hardstark?

  Totally. Deciding not to totally ruin her afternoon, I suggested she go outside and play. As I unpacked her lunchbox, I was once again greeted by an uneaten sandwich. Taking a breath, I went out back and simply asked why she hadn't eaten that day. The usual response ensued, but this time, it broke me, and exasperation won. Skipping the reminder about her health and being able to focus in class, not bothering to mention food waste for the millionth time, I simply held up the rejected sandwich and said, all caps, "Do you know who would have eaten this? Anne Frank!"

• 24:00Georgia Hardstark?

  Her little face crumbled, and thus, one of my worst/best parenting stories was born. She's in college now, and we both laugh whenever I humbly tell this story. I'm fortunate to have built great relationships with both kids, thus continuing to dismantle the wicked stepmother trope, but I do still hate wasting food. Winky emoji. Thanks for everything. R.

• 24:23Karen Kilgariff?

  Wow.

• 24:24Georgia Hardstark?

  I bet it worked.

• 24:25Karen Kilgariff?

  I'm sure it worked.

• 24:26Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 24:26Karen Kilgariff?

  And also, that was very, yet, and yet again, another example of like, you're being very vulnerable with your own fuck up.

• 24:32Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah. We want to hear your fucked up stories, because we've told you all of ours.

• 24:35Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, seriously. You've seen every fuck up, you've heard every fuck up, we've done it.

• 24:40Georgia Hardstark?

  Done it, we've did it.

• 24:41Karen Kilgariff?

  Given it to you.

• 24:41Georgia Hardstark?

  It's your turn at myfavoritemurderatgmail. If you want to watch this video, is that it?

• 24:46Karen Kilgariff?

  No.

• 24:46Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh. I thought that was it.

• 24:49Karen Kilgariff?

  We got one last one, and it's asshole older sister stories. Hi ladies, on minisode episode 406, you asked for older sister stories, and I'm here to deliver. My sister is five years younger than me, and has always been very gullible. Here are a few of my favorite older sister moments. When she was about three or four, I told her that our mom did not carry or give birth to her, instead she found a giant egg in a Dollar General dumpster and hatched her from it. I told her that she could never tell our parents, she knew this information, because it was a huge family secret. She cried for days and believed this for years, but-

• 25:25Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh my god.

• 25:27Karen Kilgariff?

  But eventually told our parents that she knew where she came from. It's now a running joke in our family, and I still can't believe she thought this was true for so many years. She was a child.

• 25:37Georgia Hardstark?

  She was a child, you lied to her.

• 25:39Karen Kilgariff?

  And you're her older sister.

• 25:40Georgia Hardstark?

  She trusted you.

• 25:41Karen Kilgariff?

  You hold the reality of the world in your hands. I would also tell her that the ginger served with sushi was ham, and she would eat the weird ham every time we ate sushi. I also told her wasabi was pistachio ice cream, and she ate the whole chunk of it at once when she was 10.

• 25:57Georgia Hardstark?

  You're mean.

• 25:59Karen Kilgariff?

  Love you and everything you do, stay sexy and keep lying to your younger sisters, Lindsay.

• 26:04Georgia Hardstark?

  No, that's trauma. That is just trauma.

• 26:07Karen Kilgariff?

  The first time I ate wasabi, I was just looking at my friend like, what's gonna happen? It scared the shit out of me.

• 26:14Georgia Hardstark?

  That like sinus clearing feeling, that's insane.

• 26:17Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, but like, and when you don't know, like, I had no context of what it was, it's radish, so it's like, oh yeah, radish, it has that, but like, when you just put it in your mouth and you don't know, I thought the back of my head was gonna like, blow out. It was crazy. Alright.

• 26:31Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay, now, please. Myfavoritemurderatgmail, this is all on video that we're gonna put up in the fan cult, if you want to watch it.

• 26:38Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh yeah, you want us like, just intently stare at each other while we also read?

• 26:42Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 26:42Karen Kilgariff?

  It's fun.

• 26:43Georgia Hardstark?

  Do it.

• 26:43Karen Kilgariff?

  Come on. Stay sexy.

• 26:45Georgia Hardstark?

  And don't get murdered.

• 26:46Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie?

• 26:57Karen Kilgariff?

  This has been an Exactly Right Production.

• 26:59Georgia Hardstark?

  Our senior producer is Alejandra Keck.

• 27:01Karen Kilgariff?

  Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.

• 27:04Georgia Hardstark?

  This episode was mixed by Liana Scolacci.

• 27:06Karen Kilgariff?

  Email your hometowns to [email protected].

• 27:09Georgia Hardstark?

  And follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at MyFavoriteMurder and on Twitter at MyFaveMurder.

• 27:15Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

• 27:20Speaker 05

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• 27:47Speaker 02

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