Mark Normand & Sam Morril w/ Mark Normand & Sam Morril - We Might Be Drunk Podcast

No guest this week, but Mark and Sam cover it all, Portland seafood, comedy buses, MSG cop shows, porn etiquette, dating peeves, fake tits in politics, Christmas movies, baseball legends, and the greatest American bands. Plus, they dive into expensive hotels, day drinking regret, Babe Ruth’s insane diet, and why you should never summon a comedian from across the bar. Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets ⸻ Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios | Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #BodegaCatWhiskey #sponsored Willie’s RemedyOrder now at https://drinkwillies.com and use code WMBD for 20% off your first order, plus free shipping on orders over $95. Enjoy life in the high country. #sponsored IQBARText DRUNK to 64000 to get 20% off all IQBAR products, plus free shipping. Message and data rates may apply. #sponsored HimsGet simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, hair loss, weight loss, and more at https://hims.com/DRUNK #sponsored ShopifyStart selling today with a $1 per month trial at https://shopify.com/drunk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:06Mark Normand?

  Hey, hey, folks! Here we are! We're back! It's 77 degrees outside.

• 0:10Sam Morril?

  I can't believe what these things are here.

• 0:13Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 0:13Sam Morril?

  Puppets.

• 0:14Mark Normand?

  Stranger things, kids are back. Look at this. This is crazy.

• 0:17Sam Morril?

  This is how I pass out. Hopefully not around Mark. I'm getting a Teabag Supreme.

• 0:21Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 0:22Sam Morril?

  Look at that.

• 0:23Mark Normand?

  Wow! I mean, look at this. It's a real jacket, real gla-- this is, uh... They didn't s--

• 0:27Sam Morril?

  What's with the beard, though? You don't have that long a beard usually.

• 0:30Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's crazy.

• 0:31Sam Morril?

  You look like a bad boy in, like, an 80's sitcom. Was that Kirk Cameron?

• 0:34Mark Normand?

  Right, right. Yeah, they didn't, uh... What's the word I'm looking for? Spinch? Uh, pinch? What do you call it when you go cheap?

• 0:42Sam Morril?

  I look a little special needs.

• 0:43Mark Normand?

  A little bit, yeah.

• 0:44Sam Morril?

  I mean, look at that shit.

• 0:45Mark Normand?

  But they got the tight curls, the minor little looser. I mean, they kinda nailed everything.

• 0:49Sam Morril?

  Yeah, dude. We definitely both have pew beards.

• 0:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's true. That's true.

• 0:53Sam Morril?

  Did you make this? Someone sent it in.

• 0:56Speaker 02

  Puppet Mechanics on Etsy.

• 0:58Mark Normand?

  Puppet Mechanics! Thank you! They're the killer!

• 1:00Sam Morril?

  The Knicks jersey, awesome.

• 1:02Mark Normand?

  He had a great idea to get, um, Santino and, uh, Adam Ray to do the puppet voices.

• 1:07Sam Morril?

  Oh, shit. These are great. Yeah, man, where were you this weekend?

• 1:12Mark Normand?

  I was in Portland, Oregon, and then I drove to Providence to the vets, and then I drove home that night.

• 1:19Sam Morril?

  Wait. Portland, Or-- Portland, Maine?

• 1:20Mark Normand?

  Portland, Maine, sorry.

• 1:21Sam Morril?

  I was like, "That's a fucking drive, dude."

• 1:22Mark Normand?

  I'm an idiot. Portland, Maine. Yeah, great club.

• 1:25Sam Morril?

  Yeah, Portland, Maine's great, oh.

• 1:26Mark Normand?

  Great town.

• 1:27Sam Morril?

  Just lobster genocide, wherever you look.

• 1:30Mark Normand?

  Yes!

• 1:31Sam Morril?

  Every, every restaurant we serve, like, that's a bad place to be a lobster.

• 1:35Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's a good point.

• 1:36Sam Morril?

  They're fucking, they're, I mean--

• 1:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's like being a kid at the Vatican. You're fucked. Um, yeah, that's a great town, and the weather was good, and the people are nice. Only 70,000 people live there. It's crazy.

• 1:48Sam Morril?

  It's crazy, yeah.

• 1:49Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's such a cool town. It's cute, the great bars--

• 1:52Sam Morril?

  They get fucking lit up.

• 1:52Mark Normand?

  They drink.

• 1:53Sam Morril?

  That's a place where you feel like they definitely find some dead bodies, like, by the water.

• 1:56Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:57Sam Morril?

  Like, someone passed out by the water, froze.

• 1:59Mark Normand?

  Definitely. You could play homeless or tugboat captain.

• 2:04Sam Morril?

  Oh, for sure.

• 2:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's a wild... Oh, lower than the National Ave! It's too cold to stab!

• 2:09Sam Morril?

  Yeah. It's great, though.

• 2:11Mark Normand?

  It's great, yeah. I had a thousand oysters, you know, had lobster the first day. Great club, Empire Comedy Club, shout out. Killer.

• 2:20Sam Morril?

  Oh, you did a comedy club?

• 2:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah, back in the clubs, I'm, I got nothing.

• 2:24Sam Morril?

  Oh, nice. I didn't even know there was a club there.

• 2:26Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I did the Vets Theater on Sunday and it was a shit show. I mean, this beautiful theater. It's like a hot crowd and I'm like, 18 minutes in, I'm like, so, you guys see that amputee cornhole player? Like, I'm just so out of material that I had to just go, ugh, Tiger Woods, huh? That was crazy.

• 2:46Sam Morril?

  The amputee guy was better at killing than you were.

• 2:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 2:50Sam Morril?

  Damn, dude. Yeah, no, that theater's epic, though. I love, I was just, I just did the club in Providence. I'm easing back in with some poor Osos.

• 2:57Mark Normand?

  Yeah, there we go. Suck on that, Bert, your tour bus is burned.

• 3:02Sam Morril?

  What the fuck was that?

• 3:05Mark Normand?

  I think they left a burner on or something. Something's burning. But, uh...

• 3:10Sam Morril?

  He's just plugging his show?

• 3:11Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 3:13Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 3:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I forgot how. It was something where they just happened to be on the other bus. It was crazy.

• 3:18Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 3:20Mark Normand?

  Well, yeah, Bert will spin that into some good content.

• 3:24Sam Morril?

  What the fuck?

• 3:25Mark Normand?

  Whoa, that's a lot of shirts to lose.

• 3:27Sam Morril?

  Is that when he, he probably owned that bus, too.

• 3:29Mark Normand?

  I think so, yeah.

• 3:30Sam Morril?

  Oof.

• 3:31Mark Normand?

  He's got insurance. He'll be fine.

• 3:34Sam Morril?

  It was, it was like a Vesuvius from Sopranos?

• 3:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 3:37Sam Morril?

  An inside job?

• 3:38Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, Bert Kreischer.

• 3:40Sam Morril?

  Damn, dude. Uh, that's pretty cool.

• 3:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah, crazy. But, yeah, Portland's great, and then I did a show on a bus in Providence.

• 3:51Sam Morril?

  On a bus?

• 3:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah, they got a bus gig. They drive you around the city.

• 3:55Sam Morril?

  Produced by Bert?

• 3:57Mark Normand?

  Produced by Tiger Woods.

• 3:58Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 3:59Mark Normand?

  And, uh, then a LaGuardia plane flew into it. No.

• 4:02Sam Morril?

  Oh, my God. Yeah, what the fuck is happening?

• 4:04Mark Normand?

  I don't know.

• 4:05Sam Morril?

  It's bad. Do you see those lines at JFK?

• 4:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you know, I've been to JFK twice since all that. I haven't seen any lines.

• 4:12Sam Morril?

  It's weird, yeah. I wonder if there's people who don't have, I mean, this is ignorant, but people who don't have any of that clearance stuff, like TSA, I don't know. But I was listening to a podcast about it and they were, I think it was like The Daily or something, and people were like, oh, yeah, I've been in line for five hours.

• 4:25Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 4:25Sam Morril?

  And then you miss the flight, which is fucking...

• 4:27Mark Normand?

  That's the night.

• 4:28Sam Morril?

  They say it's the worst lines in history.

• 4:29Mark Normand?

  That's what I've seen. Oh, there it is. That's what Hunter Biden said. But yeah, yeah, there's the comedy bus. That's a tough gig.

• 4:37Sam Morril?

  Why, why'd you do this?

• 4:38Mark Normand?

  Uh, I was in town. They asked me. I can't say no, and they paid me. So that's a, it's a threefer.

• 4:44Sam Morril?

  It was a day show?

• 4:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah, 20 minutes at 4:30.

• 4:47Sam Morril?

  I think you gotta start saying no.

• 4:49Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I know. I was like, any other comics of my caliber do this? They were like, no.

• 4:54Sam Morril?

  Yeah, you gotta, you gotta have time to write. You gotta have time to relax. You gotta have time to recharge.

• 4:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 4:59Sam Morril?

  Recharging is good.

• 5:00Mark Normand?

  It is. It is. Yeah, I should. It's the Little Roadie Comedy Fest in, in Providence. Oh, who, who's that? And, uh, hachy machy. There's a Little Roadie Comedy Fest. So it's like Mulaney, Chelsea Handler, Kevin Hart. I mean, it's a crazy lineup. Santino was there. So it was one of those things where I drank all weekend in Portland with Bolger. And then I drove to Rhode Island.

• 5:22Sam Morril?

  He was sober.

• 5:23Mark Normand?

  Me?

• 5:24Sam Morril?

  No, him.

• 5:24Mark Normand?

  Oh, no. He's got diabetes, but he's not sober.

• 5:28Sam Morril?

  Good for him.

• 5:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 5:29Sam Morril?

  Staying with it.

• 5:30Mark Normand?

  He was getting after it. He was like, day drinking. I mean, it was a wild weekend. And then got there and I'm like, alright, I made it to Providence. I'm crashing for a few hours for the, for the show at the vets. And then they're like, oh, you're on at the bus in 30. I'm like, go. But we pulled it out. No, I didn't bail. I, I went in.

• 5:49Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 5:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 5:50Sam Morril?

  That's fucking wild.

• 5:51Mark Normand?

  It was wild, but it was fun. We had a good time. There was cool people on it and the guys who run it are great.

• 5:56Sam Morril?

  How much time do you do?

• 5:57Mark Normand?

  I did 20. I said, I'm doing 20, 25, and that's all I got.

• 6:01Sam Morril?

  Jesus.

• 6:01Mark Normand?

  Well, you get a Rosa Parks joke in there. I said, what are you drinking? A Greyhound? You know, we had, we had some good zings.

• 6:07Sam Morril?

  Still doesn't seem worth it.

• 6:12Sam Morril?

  Damn it, dude.

• 6:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah, but driving home that night is the best. After the vets, got in the car, made it home by 11:15.

• 6:18Sam Morril?

  Did you go solo or were you, uh?

• 6:20Mark Normand?

  I had Doug Key there.

• 6:21Sam Morril?

  Oh, okay.

• 6:22Mark Normand?

  He lives there, so it all worked out.

• 6:23Sam Morril?

  He's a good dude.

• 6:24Mark Normand?

  Mm-hmm.

• 6:25Sam Morril?

  Um, yeah, I did a gig on Saturday at MSG, at the Garden.

• 6:29Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 6:29Sam Morril?

  Main Garden.

• 6:30Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 6:31Sam Morril?

  Uh, for, it was an NYPD show, so it's like all cops in the crowd.

• 6:35Mark Normand?

  Hell, yeah.

• 6:36Sam Morril?

  It's all police people. Lot of female cops.

• 6:39Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 6:39Sam Morril?

  More than I expected.

• 6:40Mark Normand?

  It's just crazy.

• 6:41Sam Morril?

  Crazy lineup, though. Listen to this lineup. It's, uh... First off, my, my green room is right next to Cyndi Lauper. Wow. So she's chatting me up and I was like, this is hilarious. Wow. I didn't realize how thick her Brooklyn accent is. Oh, I didn't know she was, I thought she was British. She sounds like one of the Rugrats. Wow, really? She's got this like, she almost has like this childlike voice. She's like, yeah, so I said fuck him. Like that's how she talks. And then you hear her voice, you're like, that's beautiful. How the hell? Right, wow. She's awesome though. She's so cool. She went up. I had to follow Fat Joe. Damn. Who did four like hits. Whoa. Yeah, he do, he's doing like all the ones, like Lean Back, All the Way Up. Whoa. Just all songs that you're like, yeah, this is, this is like, hit resonating with the crowd, yeah.

• 7:24Sam Morril?

  And I go on after that and I'm like, this is gonna be tough. Yeah. And this is the difference between rappers and comedians. He gets off and, and I was like, oh man, good set. And he goes, I know. Oh. I was like, I've never, I've never said that in my life. Okay, yeah. I've never had that confidence. Wow, totally. But I go on and it's touch and go, man. I have them, I lose them. I have them, I lose them. Yeah. And the weird part is, you know, sometimes you ever do a gig in an arena where like, they just don't have an attention span? Yes. The starts of my bits are doing way better than the end. Interesting. So I'm like, the payoff is not crushing. Right. But the beginning's crushing. And I think they just were like, next bit. Oh, interesting.

• 8:06Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but then I went up, it went fine. It was touching, up and down, but uh. How many minutes? Fifteen. Okay. It felt like, I was like, I wish it was ten. Sure, sure. Cause it's like, you know, I'm getting pops, but it's like, I'm also getting a lot of like, guh. Uh huh. By the end, I think they were like, alright, next, next performer. Oh boy. And then uh. I would go edgy with Caw. Did you go edgy? I did, of course, yeah, but, but it's a lot of female cops. Oh, right. So I'd go edgy and they'd be like, whoa, I'm hearing voices like, oh shit. Did you shit on Mom Donnie? That would've crushed. No, no, but Chris went on after me to Stefano and he opens with like three minutes of like, you guys are the best. And I was like, you fucking cunt. I'm literally backstage like, you motherfucker. He's like, I was supposed to do a gig in Seattle, but uh, you know, fuck the Seattle PD.

• 8:48Sam Morril?

  I only work in, with the NYPD and they're applauding. I'm like, this fucking cuck. Oh man, he's building them up. And yeah, yeah, but then he lost them a bunch too. Haha. But uh, yeah, then it was like Cyndi Lauper went up. She did like one song. It's, all the presenters are crazy too. It's like John Starks. Whoa. Rosie Perez. Wow. All these big people presenting and then um.

• 9:13Sam Morril?

  And then, uh, John Fogerty closed it out from CCR. He did an hour.

• 9:17Mark Normand?

  What?

• 9:18Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it was pretty crazy.

• 9:19Mark Normand?

  Holy moly.

• 9:20Sam Morril?

  Eighty years old.

• 9:21Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 9:21Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I sent you a clip, didn't I?

• 9:25Mark Normand?

  Can we hear some Lauper? I want to hear her talk, if you can find her.

• 9:28Sam Morril?

  This is one I sent to John Fogerty. Eighty years old, listen to this shit.

• 9:35Mark Normand?

  Hey, still cooking.

• 9:37Sam Morril?

  Not bad.

• 9:38Mark Normand?

  Not bad at all.

• 9:46Sam Morril?

  Just an hour of just like hits. You're like, oh, I know every one of these songs. It's crazy.

• 9:49Mark Normand?

  Hell, yeah. Oh, they're on their feet.

• 9:52Sam Morril?

  It was pretty cool, yeah. But it was hilarious, because I, someone sent me the write-up from like the New York Post, and it was like, Morril and Di Stefano both had the crowd in stitches. I'm like, there was a, there was an ally in that building who fed them some false information.

• 10:05Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 10:06Sam Morril?

  We did what we could.

• 10:07Mark Normand?

  Stupid question, but if all the cops are in there, isn't that the best time to break the law?

• 10:13Sam Morril?

  Few people said that, yeah. You're copping material from Rosie Perez right now, but, uh,

• 10:17Mark Normand?

  Damn it.

• 10:17Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but,

• 10:18Mark Normand?

  I gotta step it up.

• 10:19Sam Morril?

  But, yeah, there's other cops. I mean, it's like, it's not all cops, it's, you know.

• 10:22Mark Normand?

  But there's some cops like-

• 10:23Sam Morril?

  I was expecting more white cops. Chrissy said it on stage. She was like, I didn't know how many Indian cops there were. He goes, what is this, Calcutta?

• 10:31Sam Morril?

  But, uh, there was, I was like, wow, there's a lot. I was expecting like more like Irish Catholic vibe. It's a lot of, yeah, it's a lot of diversity in the NYPD now.

• 10:38Mark Normand?

  Well, that's why we're all cops are racist. You're like, they're all, you know, black and Latino and Indian.

• 10:43Sam Morril?

  Who, by the way, can be racist.

• 10:45Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 10:46Sam Morril?

  Anyone can be racist.

• 10:46Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 10:47Speaker 03

  Wish everyone a very, very Christmas and a happy new year.

• 10:52Sam Morril?

  That's Cyndi Lauper.

• 10:55Speaker 03

  Let's help each other out.

• 10:56Sam Morril?

  She should be doing voiceover.

• 10:58Mark Normand?

  She should, yeah.

• 10:59Sam Morril?

  A great voice. Get her in a Pixar movie.

• 11:01Mark Normand?

  Wow, how about that? Did you sing "Girls Want to Have Fun," I assume?

• 11:05Sam Morril?

  No, she did, uh, damn, what's, it's not, uh, "Time After Time," it's another one. Is it "True Colors"?

• 11:11Mark Normand?

  Uh, okay.

• 11:14Mark Normand?

  I didn't know she was from Brooklyn. I'm an idiot.

• 11:16Sam Morril?

  Is that the song? Yeah, yeah. Yes, that was it. That's what she did.

• 11:20Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 11:20Sam Morril?

  It was good. Yeah, she killed. People were very happy.

• 11:23Mark Normand?

  Everybody's from Brooklyn.

• 11:24Sam Morril?

  Yeah, you're just like, just don't get booed off. Every part of your brain is like, as a comic, don't say the destructive thing.

• 11:31Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 11:31Sam Morril?

  Don't get booed off at MSG. Just get through it.

• 11:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Was there ever a joke where they were like, eh, no, no, thank you?

• 11:38Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I did a riff after one that I shouldn't have done.

• 11:42Mark Normand?

  Uh oh. Shooting a guy.

• 11:44Sam Morril?

  Eric Garner. No. Uh, no, I made a joke about, uh, I made a joke about, uh, one of the women who brought me up was from Law and Order SVU. And I made a joke about, it's like an old bit about SVU. Oh, there I am.

• 11:56Mark Normand?

  Hey.

• 11:57Sam Morril?

  Yeah. Maybe I shouldn't have worn my, uh, elbow patch sweater for the NYPD event. I was just, I was just in and out. But, uh,

• 12:04Mark Normand?

  Save it for Columbia.

• 12:05Sam Morril?

  I had an SVU joke about like how, it's like an oldie about how like, you ever just watched like, four straight hours of SVU and you're like, this is too much rape for a Sunday.

• 12:15Sam Morril?

  You know, I might've been paying attention. I'm folding sheets. I'm like, why am I, why am I consuming SVU like it's smooth jazz? You know that joke? And the episode is like, the mom's pushing the baby in the stroller. She turns around for sex. She turns back around. The baby's gone. And she's like, I'm a horrible mother. And I was like, no, you went into one of the greats. That guy was amazing. That was like the Steph Curry of abduction. That one did not pop.

• 12:33Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 12:34Sam Morril?

  But then you were like, oh, the quick ones are hitting. Like, I'm like, I'm scanning, I'm scanning my head for like, all right, what's a late night joke? What's a joke I've done? Like Conan back in the day or Fallon or something. What's, what's quick?

• 12:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 12:45Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow. Tracy Morgan popped in.

• 12:46Sam Morril?

  Yeah, Marbury. My friend took a video of Marbury laughing at my Magic Johnson jokes. I was like, all right. Oh, that's pretty cool.

• 12:53Mark Normand?

  All right.

• 12:54Sam Morril?

  But, uh,

• 12:55Mark Normand?

  That's exciting. I mean, it's a New York thing. It's a gig in the city. I'm sure it paid handsomely.

• 12:59Sam Morril?

  No, it's a benefit. It doesn't pay anything. You do it for the city.

• 13:03Mark Normand?

  I would've skipped that one.

• 13:05Sam Morril?

  Guy who performed on a bus. I don't want to perform at the Garden. I want to stick to Providence buses.

• 13:12Mark Normand?

  It's comedy in a nutshell.

• 13:13Sam Morril?

  Yeah, well, you want the stories. You want to do everything because you want the stories and you want to.

• 13:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah. All of these influencers.

• 13:18Sam Morril?

  That's Amir Arison from the blacklist and she's one of the SVU people.

• 13:21Mark Normand?

  Oh, there you go.

• 13:22Sam Morril?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. They introduced me, actually, yeah.

• 13:24Mark Normand?

  Ah, alright. Wow, pretty cool. In the city, though? Garden? Not bad.

• 13:30Sam Morril?

  It was fun. It was fun, yeah.

• 13:32Mark Normand?

  And it's nice to be invited, like, it's nice to be thought of, like, oh, who's a comic who's local?

• 13:36Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's an honor, man.

• 13:37Mark Normand?

  That's great.

• 13:38Sam Morril?

  For the, for the city, for the New Yorkers. It's cool.

• 13:41Mark Normand?

  Look at that.

• 13:42Sam Morril?

  That's after one did not hit, you can tell. That's resting bomb face.

• 13:48Mark Normand?

  RBF.

• 13:51Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but it was fun.

• 13:52Mark Normand?

  Tickets are $3.75.

• 13:54Sam Morril?

  For what? For the picture?

• 13:56Mark Normand?

  What?

• 13:57Sam Morril?

  Getty Image, wow, jeez.

• 13:59Mark Normand?

  Damn, who's buying that? The Grande's $5.00.

• 14:04Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 14:05Mark Normand?

  Holy moly.

• 14:06Sam Morril?

  Not a, although I don't give a photographer a lot to work with. For action shots. I was watching some of the Chris Fleming special, I'm like, he fucking works it. He's moving around, dude.

• 14:16Mark Normand?

  I would thought the same. Me and my wife were like, this guy's in shape.

• 14:18Sam Morril?

  I know.

• 14:19Mark Normand?

  Up and down, jumping.

• 14:20Sam Morril?

  He's running around. And then I'm like, I was like, he's gonna be out of breath. And he just spoke, I was like, good for him.

• 14:25Mark Normand?

  Never out of breath. He must kill it on cardio.

• 14:29Sam Morril?

  Yeah, what do you think he's doing?

• 14:30Mark Normand?

  I mean, he must just hit the shit out of a treadmill.

• 14:34Sam Morril?

  That's, I heard Taylor Swift does that, like, she would, she'd be like sprinting while singing, like, to keep your lungs, maybe that's bullshit.

• 14:41Mark Normand?

  Louis said he would run five miles, like, a couple of weeks before a special, just so he didn't have the fat guy. And then, you know, the other day, had that breathy voice, you know? So he would run, just to build it up.

• 14:53Sam Morril?

  But he doesn't move on stage.

• 14:54Mark Normand?

  I think fat guys, they just talk and.

• 14:56Sam Morril?

  They sweat.

• 14:57Mark Normand?

  And they sweat and they have the, like, the.

• 15:01Mark Normand?

  Peters, you know, yeah.

• 15:03Sam Morril?

  He doesn't have any, he's not fat anymore.

• 15:04Mark Normand?

  I know, but.

• 15:05Sam Morril?

  Back in the day, well, Kevin James used to have that great bit where like you're just always sweating as a fat guy and like, what did you just do? Do jump rope? He's like, I peeled a banana.

• 15:15Mark Normand?

  There you go. And this week I'm in Lexington, can't wait.

• 15:18Sam Morril?

  Great one, great one.

• 15:19Mark Normand?

  Can't wait.

• 15:19Sam Morril?

  Get some of that good bourbon.

• 15:21Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, that's the hard part is not drinking.

• 15:23Sam Morril?

  That's, well, the hard part is, uh, yeah, like the day drinking there.

• 15:27Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 15:27Sam Morril?

  Because like, I remember I did one of the bodega cat signings there and they just took me in the back and they're pouring me Pappy and shit. That's like, that's like their way of being like, come here.

• 15:37Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 15:37Sam Morril?

  That's how they show love in Kentucky. They're like, try this fucking whiskey and it's, I'd be like, how much is this? And they're like, price is not important. I'm like, I'm just curious.

• 15:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 15:45Sam Morril?

  Ten thousand dollars. I'm like, what?

• 15:47Mark Normand?

  Oh, my lord.

• 15:48Sam Morril?

  I'm like, it's good, but it's not that good.

• 15:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's crazy.

• 15:51Sam Morril?

  I'll stick to fucking, I'll stick to, I, I have no problem with the low end shit, man.

• 15:55Mark Normand?

  Same, same, which I guess is a problem.

• 15:59Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I'm with you. I'll, I drank Jim Beam growing up and it's like the cheapest shit ever.

• 16:03Sam Morril?

  It's good, though.

• 16:04Mark Normand?

  It's pretty good, yeah.

• 16:06Sam Morril?

  I threw that in the flask.

• 16:07Mark Normand?

  But yeah, I always go, what should I do in Kentucky and Lexington? They all say, distillery, distillery. And I'm like, dude, I got three shows tonight.

• 16:14Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I was looking for like an art gallery or something.

• 16:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 16:16Sam Morril?

  Trying to not be blackout by tonight.

• 16:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah, give me an old statue or something. But yeah, that's what they do there.

• 16:22Sam Morril?

  Oh, man, what are these? What do you, what do you zone in here, Peters?

• 16:25Mark Normand?

  Oh, Pappy.

• 16:25Sam Morril?

  How much are these bottles? Cause like, yeah, it's good, but it's not like, you've had it at my place, right? Then I poured you.

• 16:32Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 16:33Sam Morril?

  It's good, but it's not, but it's like, I'm good with like Lagavon too, if I'm going high end.

• 16:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah, look at that. Twenty-three hundred bucks? That's crazy.

• 16:40Sam Morril?

  It's just, that's just if you have like, if you're just sick of your money.

• 16:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:45Sam Morril?

  That's just for people who are like.

• 16:47Mark Normand?

  It's like a Rolex.

• 16:48Sam Morril?

  It's like flexing.

• 16:49Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 16:50Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but a Rolex you could flip at some point.

• 16:52Mark Normand?

  Ah, true.

• 16:53Sam Morril?

  This is, you drink this. I guess maybe if you don't drink it, you could flip it. Who's just collecting it to collect it?

• 16:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah. I don't know. It's weird what hits people. Like some people are action figures, some people are baseball cards, some people are Pappy, some people are watches, cars.

• 17:07Sam Morril?

  Yeah, what's your vice?

• 17:09Mark Normand?

  It's a good question.

• 17:10Sam Morril?

  You got that old car, that's pretty cool.

• 17:12Mark Normand?

  But my thing is, I got my car I wanted, and I'm good. I don't need eight cars.

• 17:16Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 17:17Mark Normand?

  I also can't house them all, either.

• 17:18Sam Morril?

  Give it a few years.

• 17:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 17:20Sam Morril?

  Maybe you'll, yeah, but we're both kinda like, we're easily satisfied, I think.

• 17:24Mark Normand?

  We are, yeah, and I got, I got a pair, I'm not a shoe guy, I have one pair of shoe, I ride it out, then I buy another pair.

• 17:29Sam Morril?

  I like experiences.

• 17:31Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 17:31Sam Morril?

  That's why I like, I like taking people to a good dinner, especially on the road, like, getting some camaraderie going.

• 17:36Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's the way to go. Like, I'm going to Jazz Fest, praying to God Derek Trucks can come through with some tickets.

• 17:42Sam Morril?

  Oh, what's going on there?

• 17:45Mark Normand?

  He's working on it. Peters is a miracle worker, but, uh, that, I'm pumped. I'm going with the wife, I got some shrooms in the suitcase, you never know.

• 17:53Sam Morril?

  The baby might be in the suitcase, too. Sounds like Parents of the Year right here.

• 17:57Mark Normand?

  Well, they're gummy shrooms, too, so I gotta keep them away from him.

• 18:01Sam Morril?

  Oh my god.

• 18:02Mark Normand?

  Yeah, but I'm gonna get my, the baby, just throw it at my mom, and then, high tail out of there. Pretty excited.

• 18:08Sam Morril?

  So, you're not gonna crash your parents on trip?

• 18:10Mark Normand?

  No, we got a nice, uh, nice hotel, we really splurge.

• 18:13Sam Morril?

  Are they offended when you don't stay with them?

• 18:14Mark Normand?

  A little, yeah. But they live out in the boonies, cuz they're old, you know, they don't wanna be in the city, and it's too far. Drink it and drive it, it's too much.

• 18:22Sam Morril?

  What, what, a really fancy hotel?

• 18:24Mark Normand?

  Yeah, one with the St. Vincent.

• 18:26Sam Morril?

  Ooh, I've heard of that one.

• 18:27Mark Normand?

  Which is so expensive, that the wife got me in a fight. She caught me in a fight, she was right, I was wrong, and she goes, "I want the St. Vincent."

• 18:36Sam Morril?

  What was the fight?

• 18:37Mark Normand?

  Uh, it was about the special with a joke in it.

• 18:39Sam Morril?

  About her?

• 18:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 18:41Sam Morril?

  What, which one?

• 18:42Mark Normand?

  Well, I don't wanna get, uh, I don't wanna open up the can of jizz here, but, uh, I'll tell you off air.

• 18:47Sam Morril?

  Okay.

• 18:48Mark Normand?

  But she was appalled and ashamed, and, uh, so I just said, she's like, "I want the Vincent," I was like, "All right, you whore," and I bought it, and it took everything I had, cuz it was so expensive. And, uh, I sent her the receipt, and I said, "How do you like me now, skank?" And, uh, yeah, so she got me.

• 19:05Sam Morril?

  And that was another fight, now you have to fly out first class. Damn dude.

• 19:09Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's why I did that party bus, cuz I was like, I gotta make up some money from the hotel.

• 19:13Sam Morril?

  That's, our job gets us in trouble. I've gotten in a lot of trouble from this podcast, from women that I'm like, not quite dating, but like, in that kinda gray area.

• 19:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 19:23Sam Morril?

  And then they see a clip, and they're just like, and they're like, what the fu- they'll just send it to me, and I'm just like, oh, at first you're like, oh, I didn't know you listened.

• 19:31Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 19:32Sam Morril?

  And then the second later, you're like, oh, you're furious at me.

• 19:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 19:35Sam Morril?

  I do feel like there's a type of woman that only listens to-

• 19:38Mark Normand?

  To find a fight?

• 19:39Sam Morril?

  Or to be like, what the fuck?

• 19:41Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 19:42Sam Morril?

  I wanna, I've had relationships where they listen to pods, and they're just like, they're just finding bad shit.

• 19:47Mark Normand?

  Oh, every time.

• 19:48Sam Morril?

  They're never like, I love that recommendation that, uh, film noir you mentioned. It's always like, you fucked who?

• 19:55Mark Normand?

  Well, it's like that Chappelle joke, whenever a woman says, we need to talk, it's never like, I'm not blowing you enough. You know, or something like that.

• 20:02Sam Morril?

  That's so true.

• 20:02Mark Normand?

  And it's the same with the pod. It's never like, that was a really funny joke you had with, uh, with the Stranger Things guys. It's like, I can't believe you said this.

• 20:09Sam Morril?

  I know. Jokes get you in trouble too.

• 20:12Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 20:12Sam Morril?

  I have a long one in my new one that's not out yet, about a woman I, uh, prematurely ejaculated on. And, uh, it was during sex. I didn't just do it in conversation. That sounded, I'm not, I'm not that much of a premature ejaculator.

• 20:25Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 20:25Sam Morril?

  But I didn't last long on a one-night stand. I'm not gonna tell a fun, I'm not gonna tell like a cool sex story in my special.

• 20:31Mark Normand?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 20:32Sam Morril?

  So I, I didn't last long, and I, uh, you know, I, I shot it on her old belly, and, uh-

• 20:39Mark Normand?

  As you do?

• 20:40Sam Morril?

  Yeah, as you do. And, uh, as, as, as Robert Schimmel would say, you suffer from premature ejaculation, uh, those aren't tears on your belly. That's a classic. But, uh, yeah, and she, and I was like, this is like a three, four minute bit now. I really wanna put it in. But she had a very unique name.

• 20:59Mark Normand?

  Oh, right.

• 20:59Sam Morril?

  And I wanted to use her name, so I text her the bit like, do you mind if I use your name? And she was like, yes, I fucking mind. I'm a successful, blank, I'm not gonna say her job, but I'm successful. If you use my fucking name, uh, I'll kill you. And I was like, can you help me come up with like an alt name that's kinda close? And I bounced a couple off her, and, uh, just like, in sex. And, uh, and I, I- I got, I got a blessing on a pretty close name.

• 21:26Mark Normand?

  Okay, alright, everybody win, you're compromised.

• 21:29Sam Morril?

  I think it's the classy thing to do, you run the.

• 21:31Mark Normand?

  Good man.

• 21:31Sam Morril?

  Uh, you didn't do it for your wife, but I like to do it for one night stands, I don't care about, and uh.

• 21:35Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 21:36Sam Morril?

  That's crazy.

• 21:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah, the podcast will get you, and the worst is when you get in a fight over the podcast and you go, like and subscribe.

• 21:45Sam Morril?

  Well, she, how, well, she was like really pissed?

• 21:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, well, it was a joke I made, and then we talked about it, that group got mad at me and then attacked her.

• 21:56Sam Morril?

  Got it.

• 21:56Mark Normand?

  So, it wasn't, it wasn't the joke that bothered her, it was the aftermath of the joke.

• 22:00Sam Morril?

  She didn't sign up for this shit.

• 22:02Mark Normand?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 22:03Sam Morril?

  But she's liking that house.

• 22:04Mark Normand?

  Loving the house and loving the hotel.

• 22:06Sam Morril?

  That the jokes get.

• 22:07Mark Normand?

  Yes, exactly.

• 22:08Sam Morril?

  So it is connected.

• 22:08Mark Normand?

  That was part of the fight, that was all in there.

• 22:13Sam Morril?

  I should be able to say horrible things to you.

• 22:17Sam Morril?

  No, I, I get it, I get both sides.

• 22:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 22:19Sam Morril?

  I really do.

• 22:20Mark Normand?

  She was right.

• 22:21Sam Morril?

  Were, were you already going to this festival?

• 22:23Mark Normand?

  Mm-hmm.

• 22:24Sam Morril?

  So you got, you were gonna stay in a nice, nice hotel?

• 22:27Mark Normand?

  Yes, and she knows me, she knows I'll put up some dirt shit box, and she was like, no, no, we're, we're going, we're going all out.

• 22:35Sam Morril?

  Yeah, she, yeah, she deserves it, give her a good.

• 22:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah, she deserves it, that's part of why.

• 22:38Sam Morril?

  She's a good wife.

• 22:39Mark Normand?

  Well, that's part of why I did that bus gig, cause that, you know.

• 22:43Sam Morril?

  I do that too.

• 22:44Mark Normand?

  It frees the price.

• 22:44Sam Morril?

  I do that too, and it's like, but then think about what you make for the theater, it's like.

• 22:48Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 22:49Sam Morril?

  I do the same thing, I'm like, I gotta, I gotta show up with this fucking weird gig, but then you're like, it'll.

• 22:55Sam Morril?

  We, we pan, but then you get, end up getting like checks, not like you used to, but like, still get checks in the mail sometimes, you're like, oh, that's cool.

• 23:01Mark Normand?

  That's cool, yeah, totally, but I have this thing where it's all gonna run, run out, this fear that it's gonna go away.

• 23:06Sam Morril?

  Of course, and also like years of doing shit for free, you're just like, it's hard to say no.

• 23:11Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, and you got guys like, no offense, but like, like a Dane Cook, who is so huge, and then like, his brother steals his money, you know, his popularity dips, and he's doing arenas, and he's doing theaters, and he's doing clubs, and you're like, why couldn't that happen to us, you know?

• 23:27Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 23:27Mark Normand?

  I mean, not the brother stealing money, but.

• 23:29Sam Morril?

  You don't talk to your brother.

• 23:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 23:30Sam Morril?

  No, I get it, dude, and also like, people get ripped off, like, we all like the same accountant, right?

• 23:35Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 23:35Sam Morril?

  What if, what if that guy was just like, I think I'm gonna go to fucking Mexico and just.

• 23:39Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 23:40Sam Morril?

  Take their money, I mean, you know, there's probably ways that they couldn't do that, but it happened to Leonard Cohen, that's why he went on that last retirement tour.

• 23:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 23:47Sam Morril?

  His manager just stole five mil from him.

• 23:50Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 23:50Sam Morril?

  And that was his retirement fund, and he was just like. You know, super Buddhist and chill and it was just like, well, luckily I've been given a strong center and I will, I'll figure this out. He didn't seem that angry.

• 24:03Mark Normand?

  Damn.

• 24:04Sam Morril?

  He was just like, yeah, I'll go back on tour.

• 24:05Mark Normand?

  That is Billy Joel, same thing. He had all that money stolen. He was like, I guess we gotta get back to work. And then his wife left him.

• 24:10Sam Morril?

  Seems like a lot of people, maybe we are fucked.

• 24:13Mark Normand?

  I know, it's scary.

• 24:15Sam Morril?

  Peters is just, he's doing a withdraw from our account as we're doing this. No, dude, fucking CCR, John Fogerty was on stage was like, I didn't get my songs back till recently.

• 24:25Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 24:26Sam Morril?

  Cause all these guys are young when they hit it, so they don't have the right support system. So he just lost all the rights to his songs. And you think about that when you see all those CCR songs in movies and you're like, so we got nothing from that?

• 24:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 24:38Sam Morril?

  That's gonna just piss you the fuck off. Imagine you're watching, you're John Fogerty, you're watching Lebowski, like this is a good movie. And then dude looking out my back door.

• 24:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 24:46Sam Morril?

  Comes on, you know?

• 24:47Mark Normand?

  Sure. I mean, he's got eight songs in Apocalypse Now or whatever.

• 24:50Sam Morril?

  Oh, God.

• 24:51Mark Normand?

  All those war movies have Fogerty.

• 24:53Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 24:53Mark Normand?

  Crazy.

• 24:54Sam Morril?

  It's gotta be, it's gotta hurt your enjoyment a little.

• 24:56Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah. Then I wonder with our money guy, now they're saying AI can do all that.

• 25:02Sam Morril?

  Don't do it.

• 25:03Mark Normand?

  I'm just saying.

• 25:04Sam Morril?

  Your cheapness could get you broke.

• 25:06Mark Normand?

  Wow. I'm telling you, five years.

• 25:08Sam Morril?

  You're getting replaced with a, you're getting replaced with a robot Jew.

• 25:13Sam Morril?

  AI with like the little curls.

• 25:15Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Right. Uh, but you know, you heard about the guy who sold his house in five days from AI? And he didn't have to pay a realtor and fees and all that.

• 25:25Sam Morril?

  Yeah. If you're a realtor, you gotta be a little scared.

• 25:27Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. I think lawyers.

• 25:29Sam Morril?

  Cause they're already knocking down their percentage.

• 25:31Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 25:31Sam Morril?

  And they were already aggressive as fuck.

• 25:33Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 25:34Sam Morril?

  But.

• 25:35Mark Normand?

  But anything clerical, you know, with, you know, those affidavits and all that shit that we don't know what the hell that means and they.

• 25:43Sam Morril?

  But a hot realtor will always make money.

• 25:44Mark Normand?

  Hot realtors.

• 25:45Sam Morril?

  If you're like a hot MILF with like a short skirt and you're like, can't you picture yourself in this? You're just like, hmm.

• 25:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 25:52Sam Morril?

  There is something about it.

• 25:53Mark Normand?

  AI is gonna hurt porn too, because if we have no realtors, you have no porn plots.

• 25:59Sam Morril?

  I thought you were going the other way. I thought you were gonna be like, you could just like custom porn.

• 26:02Mark Normand?

  Oh, well, that's already, that's already there.

• 26:04Sam Morril?

  God, how much porn do you watch these days?

• 26:06Mark Normand?

  I do, I'm all weekend only.

• 26:08Sam Morril?

  Weekend only?

• 26:09Mark Normand?

  Yeah, cause I'm with the wife at home on the, during the week, so I can just bang her. And then on the road, you're alone. So I'm like porn time.

• 26:18Sam Morril?

  Damn. Weekend only is a good rule.

• 26:20Mark Normand?

  I try, yeah, and it you I'll tell you, pull it up and you go, wow, mama, like it hits you again, cuz it's been a while.

• 26:26Sam Morril?

  It's like when you're sick for like a week and a half and it's your first cup of coffee.

• 26:29Mark Normand?

  Yes, exactly.

• 26:30Sam Morril?

  I'm with you. Yeah, sometimes when I take a long time off porn, I watch when I'm like, wow, they're really doing wild shit these days.

• 26:35Mark Normand?

  Yes, exactly. And, uh, yeah, it hits you harder. But you can you can get, what do you call it, immune to that real quick.

• 26:42Sam Morril?

  These young kids, man, they don't know.

• 26:44Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 26:45Sam Morril?

  I hate to sound like a boomer, but like they don't fucking know. I mean, it's funny that they're like, I guess the reports that they're less sexually active.

• 26:53Mark Normand?

  They are.

• 26:53Sam Morril?

  Alcohol has a role in that cuz they're drinking less also. But it's like, if you're just on your phone, you're just like, yeah, I'll just fucking. Like, I felt that way a little bit even at the concert. Like, a lot of people, like, left towards the end of the show and not watched the full Fogarty thing. I think a lot of people are like, I'll just go on my phone.

• 27:08Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 27:09Sam Morril?

  It's so there's it's so, uh, it's just overwhelming, like the amount of people that you're just like, you look around, everyone's just on their phone.

• 27:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 27:18Sam Morril?

  When I see a person walking down the street without headphones, no phone in their hand, you're almost like, that's fucking vintage. That's like a throwback.

• 27:25Mark Normand?

  I saw a guy just sitting on the train like this. No book, no headphone, no phone. And I was like, that's a that's a man.

• 27:32Sam Morril?

  I like seeing a book.

• 27:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah, book's good.

• 27:34Sam Morril?

  A book's nice.

• 27:34Mark Normand?

  But these guys, like on a flight, you ever sometimes they call it raw dogging. The guy will just, you know, stare at the seat.

• 27:39Sam Morril?

  That's weird.

• 27:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's a little weird. But I couldn't do it.

• 27:43Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but well, how do you write then? What do you just like pacing?

• 27:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah, writing I pace.

• 27:47Sam Morril?

  In in in like which room in your apartment?

• 27:49Mark Normand?

  I have my own little office at the house. So I just pace. I put an hour on the buzzer and I just go back and forth.

• 27:56Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 27:56Mark Normand?

  Put a little music on.

• 27:57Sam Morril?

  I do, yeah. I do. I do a similar thing.

• 27:59Mark Normand?

  And hotel rooms, too. That's a good writing. Little jazz, yeah.

• 28:03Sam Morril?

  Same.

• 28:03Mark Normand?

  More like a tame Impala.

• 28:05Speaker 02

  You guys ever get in, date a girl and she says, I don't want you to look at porn. So she like, let's make porn and you can watch that, like with her?

• 28:11Mark Normand?

  No, I've never had that.

• 28:12Sam Morril?

  No, but I've had a girl say, we can make porn and I did. But she didn't care. Yeah, but she didn't care that, uh, yeah, but I was just like, that's kind of fun. But you but it's like, you fuck the way you play basketball. It's never quite as good as you think. You see the footage, you're like, man, I'm not I don't really move like I thought I did.

• 28:28Mark Normand?

  Oh, you wa- I couldn't watch that.

• 28:31Sam Morril?

  Well, yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna watch your fucking other guy.

• 28:34Mark Normand?

  That's a good point.

• 28:35Sam Morril?

  It's me.

• 28:36Mark Normand?

  I could probably watch that.

• 28:37Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 28:37Mark Normand?

  Well, later. Or before me, maybe.

• 28:41Sam Morril?

  I don't know.

• 28:41Mark Normand?

  It depends on the guy. Asian guy, I'm in. But yeah. Wow, I can't believe you, knowing I'm filmed, it would be, I don't know, I'd be different, I don't know, I couldn't do it.

• 28:52Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 28:52Mark Normand?

  Not my, not my cup. But you dated that escort or whatever the hell.

• 28:56Sam Morril?

  That's wild.

• 28:57Mark Normand?

  So you had all kinds of shit.

• 28:58Speaker 02

  A lot of videos in my, uh, somewhere on the internet.

• 29:01Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's terrifying.

• 29:02Sam Morril?

  Is it just your dick or is your face in there too?

• 29:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, never my face.

• 29:06Mark Normand?

  Oh, thank god.

• 29:07Speaker 02

  A lot of her face, if you know what I mean.

• 29:09Sam Morril?

  I don't want me jerking off and come across a Peters video.

• 29:12Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you're like, who's the guy in the Bills jacket?

• 29:15Sam Morril?

  I recognize that laugh.

• 29:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Yeah, not, not my cup with the filming.

• 29:20Sam Morril?

  No.

• 29:21Mark Normand?

  But also ladies, you should want your man to watch porn, because then he's getting it out on porn, not on another lady.

• 29:28Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I don't know. Also, it's like, you feel good when you jerk off and you didn't use porn.

• 29:34Mark Normand?

  Well, that's a, that's a.

• 29:35Sam Morril?

  You can't do it?

• 29:36Mark Normand?

  Nah, I could probably do it if I was really horned up, but, uh, just like randomly, I don't know if I could do it.

• 29:42Sam Morril?

  You can't, it's hard to do it to a memory.

• 29:43Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 29:46Sam Morril?

  I've done it, but it's been a while.

• 29:47Mark Normand?

  Even like a girl in a bikini helps me.

• 29:49Sam Morril?

  Oh, yeah, of course.

• 29:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah, but just imagination, that's a tough one.

• 29:55Sam Morril?

  You ever jerk off and you see like a porn star who looks like someone you dated?

• 29:59Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 30:01Sam Morril?

  That's kind of, you're like, you don't know how to feel really, you're like, huh.

• 30:04Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it always helps when you know them, like even Stormy Daniels, who I never heard of till Trump had the whole thing. I jerked off to her after because you kind of got to know her through the news, and that was fun. And I told people I was doing research for a bit.

• 30:19Sam Morril?

  Even that one didn't want to come out. That was weak.

• 30:22Mark Normand?

  It was like Lance Bass.

• 30:23Sam Morril?

  Damn, I don't think I've ever seen her videos.

• 30:26Mark Normand?

  Oh, she was a trooper.

• 30:27Sam Morril?

  I know she's big, I know she's.

• 30:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 30:29Sam Morril?

  Man, she had a moment, huh?

• 30:31Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. And like, she's aged, you know, quite a bit, but in her heyday, she was a real firecracker.

• 30:38Sam Morril?

  No, she's obviously attractive.

• 30:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah, huge cans, you know, giving, very dedicated.

• 30:44Sam Morril?

  Imagine buying a ticket to see her at one of those comedy clubs.

• 30:46Mark Normand?

  Oh, God.

• 30:48Sam Morril?

  Cause that would be at clubs, and they'd be like, Stormy Daniels is coming next weekend.

• 30:51Mark Normand?

  I remember that, yeah.

• 30:51Sam Morril?

  And you'd be like, holy shit, this is her last stop.

• 30:54Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 30:55Sam Morril?

  Our goal is her last stop.

• 30:57Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 30:58Sam Morril?

  Like, it's crazy.

• 31:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 31:01Sam Morril?

  Holy shit, she was at Stand Up New York?

• 31:03Mark Normand?

  Oh, man. Lisa Ann, I think, did stand up or something.

• 31:06Sam Morril?

  I don't think so.

• 31:07Mark Normand?

  Oh, maybe she went to Matt Rife's show, so.

• 31:09Sam Morril?

  Yeah, that was something, yeah.

• 31:10Mark Normand?

  She was trying to do podcasts for a while. She was hot.

• 31:14Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 31:16Mark Normand?

  Nailin' palin'.

• 31:17Sam Morril?

  Oh, my God, old school.

• 31:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah. I like when they do that. I like when they do like a celebrity.

• 31:22Sam Morril?

  A parody?

• 31:23Mark Normand?

  A parody, yeah.

• 31:24Sam Morril?

  You like your porn like a David Zucker film?

• 31:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Naked gun. Look at that. Who's this? Oh.

• 31:35Sam Morril?

  Seinfeld porn?

• 31:36Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 31:37Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 31:38Mark Normand?

  They have Scooby Doo porn, they got Simpsons porn. I've seen a Family Guy's a big one.

• 31:44Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I've seen, I've seen the things that I can't click on them. That's my childhood. I don't want it to be. It's a Wonderful Life porn for the cinephiles.

• 31:54Mark Normand?

  Tits a Wonderful Life.

• 31:54Sam Morril?

  They have Citizen Kane porn, Gone with the Wind.

• 32:01Mark Normand?

  Wow. Oh, yeah, what is that, uh, Fifth Element? I don't know what that is.

• 32:06Sam Morril?

  They have Godfather porn.

• 32:07Mark Normand?

  Minions?

• 32:09Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 32:10Mark Normand?

  Fun.

• 32:10Sam Morril?

  Min- wait, no, they don't have Minions porn.

• 32:14Mark Normand?

  I bet they do, though. They got porn for everything. Oh, they got it!

• 32:19Sam Morril?

  Oof.

• 32:19Mark Normand?

  They're blowing each other.

• 32:22Mark Normand?

  Wow, Asians are crazy.

• 32:25Sam Morril?

  How did, I wonder how it works, like a cat, you have like a porn agent who's like, we got you the minions gig.

• 32:31Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I wonder. Huh. I heard those AVNs are a good time.

• 32:36Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 32:37Mark Normand?

  I mean, David Tell used to host them.

• 32:38Sam Morril?

  He killed it.

• 32:39Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I think Jeff Ross did a few.

• 32:41Sam Morril?

  Does not seem like an easy gig.

• 32:42Mark Normand?

  No, god, no.

• 32:44Sam Morril?

  I don't think you, you get their attention, but, yeah, I remember seeing it tell, it's telling like gold and they're just like half spaced out.

• 32:49Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, it's like Fogarty.

• 32:51Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 32:52Mark Normand?

  They don't give a shit.

• 32:53Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I mean.

• 32:54Mark Normand?

  I'm sure Norton's done it.

• 32:55Sam Morril?

  He has, look.

• 32:56Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 32:58Sam Morril?

  You never, you'd never do a gig like that.

• 33:00Mark Normand?

  I don't think I would do it.

• 33:01Sam Morril?

  I'm not right for it.

• 33:02Mark Normand?

  If I was single, I might do it.

• 33:03Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 33:04Mark Normand?

  Yeah, cuz I'm sure you, you shack up with a porn star after.

• 33:08Sam Morril?

  It would be pretty weak if you didn't.

• 33:09Mark Normand?

  Yeah, like, uh, I don't wanna speak out of school, but that guy on the right did it and my friend wrote for it, so he went and he said he fucked like eight of them in a day.

• 33:20Sam Morril?

  See, that's, I physically couldn't do that.

• 33:23Mark Normand?

  A day, you spread it out.

• 33:25Sam Morril?

  You got eight nuts in a day?

• 33:27Mark Normand?

  Well, with porn stars, maybe.

• 33:29Sam Morril?

  I, I would need a boost.

• 33:32Mark Normand?

  Get this man an IV.

• 33:36Mark Normand?

  See, look, Lisa Ann went to his show, oh, I'm giving it away, damn it, but.

• 33:40Sam Morril?

  I need more glutathione in my arm, my dick hard.

• 33:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 33:45Sam Morril?

  God damn, dude.

• 33:46Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, I think he got caught up in the moment, he's not a big drinker, so that's his vice.

• 33:53Sam Morril?

  It's weird, it's a weird, sex addiction's a weird vice.

• 33:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:56Sam Morril?

  Cuz the people who, you, who talk about it are always like, they're just fucking tens.

• 34:01Mark Normand?

  I know, I know.

• 34:02Sam Morril?

  Like, if you're fucking like, you should be in a nursing home, fucking people, if you're a sex addict.

• 34:06Mark Normand?

  Ah, that's a good point.

• 34:07Sam Morril?

  You, you shouldn't only be fucking models.

• 34:09Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Oh, yeah, I never thought about that. Yeah, everybody's a sex addict if you're fucking tens.

• 34:15Sam Morril?

  Exactly.

• 34:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah, true.

• 34:17Sam Morril?

  You don't have a problem, you fucking won life.

• 34:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah, like crackheads are in an alley like scraping anything together.

• 34:23Sam Morril?

  Exactly.

• 34:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's gonna be a bit.

• 34:24Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 34:25Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 34:27Sam Morril?

  Do you have any, well, I have, I have some peeves.

• 34:29Mark Normand?

  Oh, I got some peeves too.

• 34:31Sam Morril?

  I got, uh, what do we have? Ooh, I had a girl over, she wanted my room at sixty-two.

• 34:38Mark Normand?

  Jeez, that's low.

• 34:39Sam Morril?

  That is fucking low.

• 34:41Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 34:42Sam Morril?

  That's like a little cold, right?

• 34:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 34:45Sam Morril?

  And she hugged the fucking blanket.

• 34:47Mark Normand?

  Oh, you can't have it both ways.

• 34:49Sam Morril?

  She's walking in my apartment saying it's fucking, you know, she's in like a sweatshirt, she's hogging the blanket, and I'm like, you don't like sixty-two?

• 34:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 34:55Sam Morril?

  You're cold.

• 34:56Mark Normand?

  That's good. Now, does she, she go, I like it at sixty-two, or she just put it at sixty-two?

• 35:00Sam Morril?

  No, she wanted it at sixty-two.

• 35:01Mark Normand?

  Whoa.

• 35:02Sam Morril?

  There are some people, it's like, it is, it does feel like privilege to be like, I want to freeze in here, and then I'm gonna bundle up.

• 35:07Mark Normand?

  That's true, yeah, that's true.

• 35:09Sam Morril?

  I, I, I like, I'm like a good sixty-seven, sixty-eight, maybe?

• 35:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, sixty-eight is perfect, but sixty-two is crazy.

• 35:18Sam Morril?

  You, you don't realize how important that is in a relationship, you gotta at least be in the right area.

• 35:22Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes, but you throw a blanket on, you're fine. You know what, I bet she's a new gal, she didn't wanna get sweaty in front of you.

• 35:31Sam Morril?

  Hmm.

• 35:32Mark Normand?

  I don't know.

• 35:32Sam Morril?

  Here's, uh, women, how about this, you ever go on like early dates and they just don't eat?

• 35:36Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 35:37Sam Morril?

  They take like two bites, I'm like, I gotta bu, I get stuff for us to like share.

• 35:41Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 35:42Sam Morril?

  You're like, you gotta eat.

• 35:43Mark Normand?

  You gotta eat.

• 35:44Sam Morril?

  If you don't touch it, I'm gonna eat it all.

• 35:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah, May was like that, when we first met, she was like, I don't wanna get fat, I don't want you to think I'm not ladylike, so she didn't eat. And it was weird. Then she'd have like thirty-eight beers. Yeah, she was a big beer lady. But, uh, yeah, the no eating is strange.

• 36:00Sam Morril?

  A beer lady is, a woman who will order like a whiskey is kinda hot.

• 36:03Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. But then you wonder, maybe it was like an anal thing with the no eating.

• 36:09Sam Morril?

  She wanted her butthole clean.

• 36:10Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 36:11Sam Morril?

  Maybe she just didn't wanna poop.

• 36:13Mark Normand?

  Oh, that too, that too.

• 36:14Sam Morril?

  I mean, look, I don't love pooping on a date, but I've done it.

• 36:17Mark Normand?

  Yeah, when, you know, nature calls.

• 36:19Sam Morril?

  I got a bigger apartment now, back in the day when like, my, my bathroom was right next to my bed.

• 36:24Mark Normand?

  Ooh.

• 36:25Sam Morril?

  I, I'd be like blasting music, and they go, why is he playing mu, I don't, I don't want you to hear this.

• 36:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 36:30Sam Morril?

  I don't want you to hear what's coming out of me right now.

• 36:33Mark Normand?

  It's kinda nice if you have a girl who likes getting shit on, like on her chest, cause then you're like, alright, I don't have to be self-conscious about shitting.

• 36:39Sam Morril?

  I don't think it's nice.

• 36:42Sam Morril?

  That is, that is a fucking appalling fetish.

• 36:44Mark Normand?

  That's appalling. There was, Odell Beckham Jr. was into that. That was his thing.

• 36:48Sam Morril?

  Is that real, or is that one of those urban?

• 36:50Mark Normand?

  It was the internet.

• 36:51Sam Morril?

  There was a lot of stuff about him, though, where you're like, I don't know.

• 36:53Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 36:54Sam Morril?

  Yeah, like, is he gay? Is he? And I don't know if any of it's true. It's, it could just be, he just might be kinda like a pretty flashy guy.

• 37:00Mark Normand?

  Uh huh. Oh, there you go. Oh, he responded.

• 37:04Sam Morril?

  What'd he say?

• 37:06Mark Normand?

  Uh oh.

• 37:09Speaker 04

  Junior calls Poopgate a lie.

• 37:11Mark Normand?

  Poopgate is a lie, okay. Good for him. And he played for the Browns? Give me a break, he's right themselves. Ah, that's great.

• 37:19Speaker 04

  NFL season kicked off last week, but the topic of everyone's conversation came from things that had absolutely not a darn thing to do with the gridiron. It was all about Odell Beckham Jr. and not if he will save his career and legacy this season after a few terrible years, but yes, guys, thanks to this podcast called No Jumper, where a few women have become the new age version of Corinne Stephens, aka Superhead, and have decided to not only talk about their dirty laundry, but the dirty laundry of NFL and NBA players as well.

• 37:56Speaker 04

  On a recent episode, a lot of us were shocked and, well, frankly, didn't believe a word of this. And since then, Odell posted something for NSIG, and then really just put his focus and energy back on football and hasn't really spoke much about it until now. He appeared on Uninterrupted and finally acknowledged Poopgate, Odell saying this. "Of every rumor and situation, all the BS I've dealt with in my career, this was the funniest [BLEEP]. I have never, ever in my life heard this one. I couldn't believe it." So, you guys-

• 38:32Mark Normand?

  Okay, good for Beckham.

• 38:33Sam Morril?

  But that sounds like something a pooper would say.

• 38:35Mark Normand?

  Ah.

• 38:37Sam Morril?

  I, I, I'm laughing right now.

• 38:39Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 38:40Sam Morril?

  What about, um, what, what is the next one you're looking at?

• 38:45Mark Normand?

  By the way, all we talk about is the manosphere, manosphere. These whores out here with their paw, they're not doing any favors to these guys.

• 38:53Speaker 05

  Because whether it's true or not, it's pretty gross.

• 38:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 38:56Speaker 05

  And then what, you just let a guy poop on you and you're...

• 38:58Mark Normand?

  Right. Then you go talk about it?

• 39:00Speaker 05

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• 39:45Mark Normand?

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• 40:07Mark Normand?

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• 42:14Speaker 05

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• 42:41Mark Normand?

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• 43:25Mark Normand?

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• 43:45Sam Morril?

  You're young, you're young.

• 43:46Mark Normand?

  Wow, you know what I mean. In the 90s, I was trying to get laid and you had to take it like a man in front of a naked woman and blame her. Uh, but times have changed. You guys have nothing to worry about. Popping pills all day long.

• 43:58Sam Morril?

  Nothing to worry about.

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• 44:30Sam Morril?

  Well, did you see this thing with Kristi Noem's husband today?

• 44:32Mark Normand?

  Yes!

• 44:33Sam Morril?

  That's wild, right?

• 44:34Mark Normand?

  Wild, I love it. You saw his nips were all out of order?

• 44:37Sam Morril?

  It was crazy.

• 44:38Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 44:38Sam Morril?

  He's wearing, but then it's like a fetish, I guess. He's in like a group chat and uh-

• 44:44Mark Normand?

  Trans visibility day.

• 44:45Sam Morril?

  Is it?

• 44:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 44:46Sam Morril?

  Trans visibility day?

• 44:47Mark Normand?

  Yeah, so that was a perfect-

• 44:49Sam Morril?

  But he's cross-dressed, he's not trans.

• 44:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 44:51Sam Morril?

  There's all these subsets like-

• 44:53Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 44:53Sam Morril?

  But he's like, his whole thing is he's into big tits, but then he wears the big tits?

• 44:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah. Crazy.

• 45:00Sam Morril?

  That's, see, that's like a subset. They're like, I love big tits.

• 45:03Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 45:03Sam Morril?

  But I don't want to, I don't want to have them.

• 45:04Mark Normand?

  No, no, God, no. Look at that. That is good stuff.

• 45:08Sam Morril?

  The pouty face is rough.

• 45:10Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 45:11Sam Morril?

  That's like, not a great-

• 45:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 45:13Sam Morril?

  That's almost worse than the tits.

• 45:15Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 45:15Sam Morril?

  Is the face?

• 45:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah, cuz he knows that's what girls do.

• 45:19Sam Morril?

  It's not great.

• 45:20Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's horrifying. He, it looks like he went to Mar-a-Lago to get the surgery.

• 45:27Mark Normand?

  You think you know him somebody? Okay. Wow.

• 45:32Sam Morril?

  That's crazy. So that's his thing. It's like, he has a few things, clearly. Fake tits.

• 45:37Mark Normand?

  Yep.

• 45:38Sam Morril?

  Wearing fake tits.

• 45:39Mark Normand?

  Yeah, women's clothes.

• 45:40Sam Morril?

  Women's clothes.

• 45:41Mark Normand?

  So he didn't get surgery, obviously?

• 45:43Sam Morril?

  No, no.

• 45:44Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 45:44Sam Morril?

  But maybe, I don't know how it works. Maybe this is like, the step? I have no idea.

• 45:49Mark Normand?

  Wait, go back to that. Look at those nips, how out of whack they are. They look like Cash Patel's eyes. There's one going this way, one going that way.

• 45:57Sam Morril?

  That is crazy.

• 45:58Mark Normand?

  That is embarrassing. She's having a tough, uh, tough go.

• 46:01Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I mean, what the...

• 46:04Sam Morril?

  Yeah, that's a bad angle, too. That's the Anthony Weiner angle, right there.

• 46:07Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 46:07Sam Morril?

  Get the fuck out... Wait, what does it say, the tweet? Get the fuck out of here. You've been posting about trans and gays each and every fucking day. And now you want to move on when one of your own gets exposed? Well, that is crazy. Alright.

• 46:22Mark Normand?

  Okay, what a...

• 46:23Sam Morril?

  That was about, uh... Who was that about? Sorry to miss that.

• 46:26Mark Normand?

  What a time to be alive. Crazy. We know so much. Like, Cash Patel's emails got leaked. Did you see that?

• 46:33Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 46:34Mark Normand?

  And you're like, "This is the FBI director."

• 46:36Sam Morril?

  It shouldn't be this easy.

• 46:37Mark Normand?

  Yes! Yes! Crazy time.

• 46:40Sam Morril?

  God.

• 46:41Mark Normand?

  We got a fight on the White House lawn. I mean, you can't keep up. All kinds of wacky news stories.

• 46:47Sam Morril?

  Yeah. I mean, that's like, how do you react when someone, you're married? Like, she must have known. There's no way she didn't know, right?

• 46:54Mark Normand?

  I don't know. Some of these things kick up later. Which is a little scary to know that, like, in 20 years, you might have a new kink. That you don't have now.

• 47:01Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but she must have known. Like, he must have, like... I don't know. I guess some guys, if you're married, you just like, some maybe dip their toe in with the wife to see if it's like, safe or whatever.

• 47:11Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 47:11Sam Morril?

  Or some are probably like, uh... "I just want this area over here." But they have kids and they're all pretty old.

• 47:18Mark Normand?

  Oh, is that right?

• 47:19Sam Morril?

  I think the, like, I think the youngest one's like 29.

• 47:21Mark Normand?

  Oh, my god.

• 47:22Sam Morril?

  So that's kinda wild.

• 47:23Mark Normand?

  This is, yeah, you don't want that out there.

• 47:24Sam Morril?

  But I saw a quote where she was like, "I'd like to, uh, I'd like to request your privacy. Uh, we need some privacy at this time," is what she said.

• 47:30Mark Normand?

  Poo, good luck.

• 47:31Sam Morril?

  Which is like, that's what you say when someone in your family dies. It's not what you say when someone cross-dresses.

• 47:35Mark Normand?

  Right, right. Oh, man. See, this is why you don't want to get in the public eye, says the guy with the podcast and the special.

• 47:43Sam Morril?

  Yeah, dude.

• 47:44Mark Normand?

  Scary.

• 47:45Sam Morril?

  Apparently, her, uh, her husband's taking her to this really nice hotel in New Orleans to make it up to her. Feels terrible. And, uh, crazy.

• 47:53Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 47:54Sam Morril?

  That's fucking crazy.

• 47:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah, this is wild.

• 47:57Sam Morril?

  I mean, this is, we're recording this the day this broke, so there might be a lot of new shit coming out.

• 48:02Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 48:02Sam Morril?

  We're gonna weigh on.

• 48:03Mark Normand?

  That's true, but I heard she had a side piece the whole time.

• 48:06Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 48:07Mark Normand?

  So maybe, you know, you see your husband with fake tits on, you're like, I gotta get, I gotta find a real guy, you know?

• 48:12Sam Morril?

  I better get ahead of this.

• 48:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 48:14Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but, uh, and him too, right? Doesn't he have a side piece too?

• 48:17Mark Normand?

  Oh, nice.

• 48:18Sam Morril?

  I mean, clearly he's got a few, but...

• 48:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Oh, the husband.

• 48:21Sam Morril?

  You just gotta know you're gonna get, with messages these days, you're gonna get caught at some point.

• 48:26Mark Normand?

  Yeah, well, you know, at least he got it off his chest. All right. We're having fun. Uh, no, they all get the crazy surgery on the face.

• 48:37Mark Normand?

  Is that the piece or is that the hubby?

• 48:40Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay.

• 48:41Sam Morril?

  Yeah, he's, uh, DC is fucking, it's like LA.

• 48:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 48:46Sam Morril?

  They're going wild.

• 48:47Mark Normand?

  It's ugly LA.

• 48:48Sam Morril?

  It is ugly LA.

• 48:49Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's like McConnell and all these old guys, but they're all kind of celebrities too.

• 48:53Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 48:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's what they say, politics is ugly, ugly show business.

• 49:00Sam Morril?

  Yeah, what do you got? You any peeves?

• 49:02Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, how about this one? This, this is a little specific for comedians, but you do the show, you go to a bar after, you go to a restaurant after, and someone from the show is there at their table, and I get this one, "Oh, come here, come here." And I'm like, I'm at the bar with my friends or opener or whatever, and I'm drinking, and they're at a table, and they're like, "Come here, come here, we wanna talk, we were at your show." And I'm like, "Well, why do I have to go to you? I don't wanna talk, you wanna talk, you should come to the bar."

• 49:32Sam Morril?

  It's a very fair peeve.

• 49:33Mark Normand?

  It's a, yeah, it's like, and it's just like emasculating, like... I'm like, okay, hold on, daddy.

• 49:38Sam Morril?

  What, are you the king?

• 49:39Mark Normand?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 49:40Sam Morril?

  You're summoning me?

• 49:41Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 49:42Sam Morril?

  That would annoy me.

• 49:43Mark Normand?

  It's kind of a cougar move. It's like always an older white lady who's had a couple of Zinfandels. And she's like, come here.

• 49:48Sam Morril?

  You didn't mention it was a woman.

• 49:49Mark Normand?

  Yeah, we loved you. Come here.

• 49:51Sam Morril?

  Now I'm listening.

• 49:52Mark Normand?

  Well, it's not exactly, it's like a hairdresser or something. It's not exactly somebody you wanna, you're dying to chat it up with. And then once you're at the table, I went over, cause I'm a bitch. I went over there and I was like, hey guys. And they were like, we had a great time. We loved your show. Sit down, sit down. I'm like, what? No. What am I, uh, did you hire me to come here? Get out of here. So I got the hell out of there.

• 50:13Sam Morril?

  Damn. Yeah. Do you go to like the bar next door?

• 50:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah, we got, we got left there. It was too much of this.

• 50:19Sam Morril?

  I've done it, but you just gotta be ready for that shit.

• 50:21Mark Normand?

  I know, I know. And I'll talk to anybody, but I don't care for this.

• 50:25Sam Morril?

  Yeah, the summon is a little.

• 50:26Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 50:27Sam Morril?

  It's a little much.

• 50:28Mark Normand?

  Not a fan.

• 50:29Sam Morril?

  Don't love it.

• 50:29Mark Normand?

  And then they did the send the shots over, which is also a tough move, cause you wanna be grateful, but I also don't wanna do a shot.

• 50:35Sam Morril?

  What, what kinda shot?

• 50:36Mark Normand?

  It was a Jäger.

• 50:37Sam Morril?

  That's aggressive.

• 50:39Mark Normand?

  Yes. Uh, they're like, you, you, we might be drunk, Jäger, woo.

• 50:44Sam Morril?

  I'm at the age where I like prefer to sip Jäger. I'm, that's how fucking old I'm getting. I'm just like, I, I would rather sip it.

• 50:51Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 50:51Sam Morril?

  Cause actually, I don't hate the taste.

• 50:53Mark Normand?

  No, no.

• 50:53Sam Morril?

  But it's just, it's a kind of a nasty shot.

• 50:56Mark Normand?

  Oh, it's thick and like gooey. Yeah. It's a digestif.

• 50:59Sam Morril?

  That's what I mean. I'd rather sip it.

• 51:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Coats the stomach.

• 51:03Sam Morril?

  It's kinda nice, man. Yeah. I kinda eased my way back, uh, back in on booze with some digestifs, a little Amaro. I'm like, after dinner, let's, my stomach's full. Let's, let's help ease my way back in. Fucking love a good digestif.

• 51:15Mark Normand?

  It's very nice, but do you get a buzz off that? Cause you haven't, oh, okay.

• 51:19Sam Morril?

  It's got alcohol in it.

• 51:20Mark Normand?

  Cause you're, you're probably cleaned out, so you can, you can get a low tolerance again.

• 51:24Sam Morril?

  You know what? I do have a low tolerance. I'm kinda, I'm kinda pumped for my first like drunk time back, cause I think it's not gonna take that much.

• 51:30Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Well, I was out with Bolger and, and we had three shows on Saturday and I forgot these Boston guys. We do the four o'clock, then you got like two hour window and he's like, you wanna hit a bar?

• 51:41Sam Morril?

  Oh my god.

• 51:42Mark Normand?

  And I was like, oh, I, I forgot this was our lifestyle before, but he's still in it. So we went to a bar around the corner and just had a couple of Guinnesses. And then people are like, we're coming to your shows. And they send you a beer. And then you're like, I have like five beers in here and I got two more shows where I'm doing an hour with no material.

• 51:58Sam Morril?

  Yeah, no, it's bad. I mean, that's how we lived on that shit, but also we were young.

• 52:03Mark Normand?

  We were young.

• 52:04Sam Morril?

  In your twenties, you could do that shit.

• 52:05Mark Normand?

  I know, I know, but boy, it hits you like a ton of bricks. You're like, wow, I guess I've changed a lot.

• 52:10Sam Morril?

  I also, you know what I hate about like the getting really day drunk is the nighttime hangover. I can't fucking deal with it. I get that sleep anxiety.

• 52:17Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 52:18Sam Morril?

  I don't want the night, I can deal with a hangover during the day, because I can kind of like, alright, I could drink some coffee, feel it out. But at night, you're just, you're under your covers. You're like, I'm a piece of shit, I fucking hate myself, I don't know where to go.

• 52:29Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 52:29Sam Morril?

  You're just like having like a panic meltdown.

• 52:31Mark Normand?

  I know, I know. And then I always keep drinking, because I feel like that pang of a headache coming at like eight. And then you're like, alright, well, I gotta drink that away. And now you're hammered.

• 52:41Sam Morril?

  Damn. And my favorite things now are like the worst things with this fucking stomach issue is like, you know, I love to start a day drink with a Bloody Mary.

• 52:49Mark Normand?

  Mmm.

• 52:50Sam Morril?

  That's my favorite thing, but it's like, it's literally tomato, spicy, you know, all that shit. All that shit that you're like, not, and you're like, oh, fuck, I love that though.

• 52:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he's got a thing of bacon coming out of there. It's all bad.

• 53:01Sam Morril?

  I love it though.

• 53:02Mark Normand?

  It's so good. I, we had a couple.

• 53:04Sam Morril?

  Never gave, never, never could get into a mimosa.

• 53:07Mark Normand?

  Nah, it's alright on a plane or something.

• 53:09Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I guess a plane is kind of cool.

• 53:11Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's a pretty good hangover cure, but yeah, Bloody Marys.

• 53:14Sam Morril?

  You gotta start sweet.

• 53:15Mark Normand?

  It's a meal.

• 53:16Sam Morril?

  Like, I need a, I need a, I need a really tasty drink to kill a hangover.

• 53:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Alright, how about this little story?

• 53:23Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 53:23Mark Normand?

  So I'm in Portland, so I'm like, we gotta eat seafood up the ass, because we're here. You can't get better seafood and more fresh than Portland, man.

• 53:31Sam Morril?

  Be careful with that market price.

• 53:32Mark Normand?

  Oh, it fucked me.

• 53:33Sam Morril?

  That's how they get you.

• 53:34Mark Normand?

  That's where I'm going.

• 53:35Sam Morril?

  Really? That's how, that happened to me too.

• 53:37Mark Normand?

  We go out to the lot, the Oyster House, we each get a dozen oysters, it's three of us. That's, what is that? Thirty? Two?

• 53:44Sam Morril?

  Thirty-six?

• 53:45Mark Normand?

  Thirty-six oysters, so that's a lot of money. We all get Bloody Marys, they're twenty bucks each, there you go. And then we, somebody gets a lobster roll, I get the clam bake, he gets the mussels, whatever, then we get dessert, we get a couple beers, whatever. And the bill is pretty high.

• 54:00Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 54:01Mark Normand?

  Ah, the waitress comes up, puts the bill down. I go, I got it. I'm headlining. Here you go. Cash, cash, cash. All the merch money. She goes, thank you. Do you need any change? I go, keep it lady. I go take a piss. I come back from the bathroom. The guy in the table behind me goes, "Oh my god, I loved your special. Oh, this is crazy. I can't believe you're here. Let me get the bill." And I go, "Ah, I already bought it." I go, "Where's that lady?" And they go, "She left, she retired, she moved to Canada." And I go, "Fuck." So I, I was this close.

• 54:31Sam Morril?

  I think he saw you get the bill.

• 54:33Mark Normand?

  That's what I said.

• 54:33Sam Morril?

  I think he fucking knew what he was doing.

• 54:35Mark Normand?

  I think so too. So we walked out. That was the big discussion. He knew what he was doing. That's a smooth move.

• 54:40Sam Morril?

  Let me get the bill. No one does that.

• 54:42Mark Normand?

  No one does that.

• 54:43Sam Morril?

  No, let me get you a drink, they'll do. No one, no one sees someone order a lobster and goes, "I got that."

• 54:48Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 54:49Sam Morril?

  That's insane behavior.

• 54:50Mark Normand?

  Crazy. And the shells are all over the table and oyster, half shell and ice.

• 54:55Sam Morril?

  That's fucking crazy.

• 54:56Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 54:57Sam Morril?

  I did the, I did the, uh, we did like a lobster brunch or whatever when I was there with my crew. You know, we're all there. I got the Gary, the camera guy, James. We got Brian, the tour manager. Breakfast, everyone orders like lobster omelets, whatever. It's one of these nights. You look at the bill, you're like, $300?

• 55:14Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 55:15Sam Morril?

  For fucking breakfast?

• 55:16Mark Normand?

  MP, MP, MP. Everything on the menu. There's no numbers.

• 55:19Sam Morril?

  And then Gary's walking out. Gary doesn't miss. I picked another winner. I go, shut the fuck up Gary. I paid for this shit.

• 55:26Mark Normand?

  I know. I'm surprised your accountant isn't like, what's going on?

• 55:29Sam Morril?

  This guy's a liability.

• 55:30Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 55:32Sam Morril?

  He better be fucking Gary.

• 55:35Sam Morril?

  I am. I'm fucking Gary. But I gotta, I gotta pee for you.

• 55:38Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 55:39Sam Morril?

  Had a woman, uh, went on a date with a woman. And, uh, she goes, "I'm a little shocked you didn't, uh, send me a car to..." And I was like, "What?" She goes, I was like, "To the restaurant where I'm getting us dinner?"

• 55:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 55:53Sam Morril?

  I mean, I've heard of the car back.

• 55:55Mark Normand?

  Sure.

• 55:56Sam Morril?

  Obviously, you're leaving the apartment. There's a, you know, I've got an incentive there too. You're leaving. It's great for me.

• 56:01Mark Normand?

  That's true. Can't deny that.

• 56:03Sam Morril?

  But the, the car pickup?

• 56:05Mark Normand?

  I've never heard of the pickup.

• 56:06Sam Morril?

  I've never heard of the pickup. And she goes, "I'm a feminist." I was like, "That's not what a feminist is."

• 56:09Mark Normand?

  What?

• 56:10Sam Morril?

  I was like, "What the fuck is happening?"

• 56:11Mark Normand?

  What the hell?

• 56:12Sam Morril?

  I said, "I'm the feminist. I'm the one who thinks you should go the way I go."

• 56:16Mark Normand?

  You're equal.

• 56:16Sam Morril?

  We should both walk.

• 56:17Mark Normand?

  Right. Oh, this is blowing my mind.

• 56:19Sam Morril?

  It blew my mind.

• 56:20Mark Normand?

  Feminist, too. That's a weird wrinkle.

• 56:22Sam Morril?

  I didn't, I didn't care for any of it.

• 56:24Mark Normand?

  No, no. And she brought it up. It's one thing to go, "Oh, he didn't send me a car." But to not get a car and...

• 56:28Sam Morril?

  I don't think she knows what a feminist is.

• 56:30Mark Normand?

  I don't think so either.

• 56:31Sam Morril?

  I think she was like, "I just deserve to be treated well." I was like, "That's not it. Feminists are treated like shit." That's why they became feminists.

• 56:37Mark Normand?

  Yes, exactly. This is a bit.

• 56:39Sam Morril?

  Is it?

• 56:39Mark Normand?

  Yeah. "I'm a feminist" is hilarious.

• 56:41Sam Morril?

  Time code that one for me.

• 56:42Mark Normand?

  Yeah. I've never heard anyone say that. Now, you should be like, uh...

• 56:45Sam Morril?

  That's why they're so angry. That's why they're feminists.

• 56:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah, exactly. And can you do that? "Hey, you gotta eat my ass." Why? I'm anti-racism. Or whatever. Like, we can just throw anything out at this point.

• 56:55Sam Morril?

  Just make shit up.

• 56:56Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 56:56Sam Morril?

  I was shocked. I, yeah, I didn't, I was kinda like, do I, how long do I hold on to this for?

• 57:01Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's a tough one.

• 57:02Sam Morril?

  You don't wanna ruin the night.

• 57:03Mark Normand?

  I mean, that's a, that's a curb app, a whole app right there.

• 57:06Sam Morril?

  It was, it was a little weird.

• 57:08Mark Normand?

  Now, did you, what'd you say?

• 57:09Sam Morril?

  I was like, "I've just never heard of it." And she was like, "Oh, well, you know, that's like, "my last boyfriend didn't treat me well, so I wanna make sure I'm treated well." And I was like, "Oh, my last girlfriend didn't treat me well."

• 57:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 57:20Sam Morril?

  "That's why I'm not with her anymore."

• 57:22Mark Normand?

  Right. That's how it works.

• 57:23Sam Morril?

  Doesn't mean I just punish the next person.

• 57:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Why do I have to pick up his slack?

• 57:26Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 57:27Mark Normand?

  That is crazy.

• 57:28Sam Morril?

  It was weird.

• 57:29Mark Normand?

  But see, women, they know they got you by the balls, 'cause you wanna have sex with them. So you're like, "Oh, of course. Oh, the car. What was I thinking? I blew it." You know, you just lie, 'cause you're trying to score points.

• 57:40Sam Morril?

  It wa, it was all weird. I think you just, I don't, I'm, here's my rule. I'll confront the person if I care to pursue a relationship with them.

• 57:49Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 57:49Sam Morril?

  But if it's someone, I'm just like, "I'm not gonna see this person again."

• 57:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 57:53Sam Morril?

  I'm just like, "Yeah, I'll just joke about it on a podcast."

• 57:55Mark Normand?

  There you go.

• 57:56Sam Morril?

  And then I'll see her in a few months, and she'll be like, "I saw that podcast."

• 58:01Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 58:02Sam Morril?

  That's how they get you. But, uh...

• 58:04Mark Normand?

  Damn, I've never heard of that.

• 58:05Sam Morril?

  I only confront, like, the same goes with friends. Like, I'm not gonna, if someone does something shitty to me, but he's like, not my friend... I'm just gonna, I'll either, maybe I'll say something, but if I don't really care about the person, why even bother with the confrontation?

• 58:17Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's a good point.

• 58:17Sam Morril?

  I'll say something if it's someone close to me.

• 58:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's interesting, because I'm the opposite. I think if it's a friend, I go, ah, let it go, we're friends, but if it's not a friend, I'm like, what the hell is that?

• 58:28Sam Morril?

  Well, I'm talking about a really obnoxious thing.

• 58:30Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 58:31Sam Morril?

  If I did something really obnoxious to you, you'd just be like, what was that?

• 58:34Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I guess that's true.

• 58:35Sam Morril?

  You know?

• 58:36Mark Normand?

  Yeah, good point, alright.

• 58:37Sam Morril?

  But yeah, but I know what you mean, like, if it's in like, we've definitely had some moments, you know, in the world where someone does something shitty and you're like, dude, what the fuck?

• 58:45Mark Normand?

  Right, right. That is a card to the restaurant.

• 58:48Sam Morril?

  It's a bit much.

• 58:49Mark Normand?

  That's crazy. I mean, that's like Princess Di or something.

• 58:53Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 58:54Mark Normand?

  And look what happened to her.

• 58:57Sam Morril?

  Someone sent the card.

• 58:58Mark Normand?

  Mm-hmm. Whoa, yeah, what more do I have to do here?

• 59:02Sam Morril?

  It is weird, because it's like, I don't mind paying for everything. I've always paid for every date.

• 59:09Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 59:09Sam Morril?

  But like, at least occasionally be like, either a nice thank you, or a reach for a purse is nice.

• 59:17Mark Normand?

  A reach is good.

• 59:18Sam Morril?

  We always like a reach.

• 59:19Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 59:20Sam Morril?

  But, uh, I don't know, there's like a sense of entitlement sometimes where people are just like, I deserve this, and it's like, why?

• 59:27Mark Normand?

  I completely agree. Who the hell are you?

• 59:29Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 59:30Mark Normand?

  Yeah, and also, if you're a feminist, you should split the bill for the restaurant.

• 59:34Sam Morril?

  That's what I mean.

• 59:35Mark Normand?

  But we're not gonna, we don't have to get into all that.

• 59:36Sam Morril?

  We don't have to go into that.

• 59:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah. Crazy.

• 59:39Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 59:40Mark Normand?

  Wow. That's one fun thing about dating, is you see all these interesting scenarios.

• 59:44Sam Morril?

  You meet some whack jobs, you see some sides. And the weird thing too is like, this is you at your best.

• 59:49Mark Normand?

  Yes, god, you're right.

• 59:51Sam Morril?

  This is the job interview.

• 59:53Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 59:53Sam Morril?

  This is, you're never gonna be cooler than this.

• 59:55Mark Normand?

  That's a great point, yeah, oof.

• 59:58Sam Morril?

  I've always thought like, you know, first dates should be fucking nightmare scenarios if you really wanna see like, if you wanna fast forward.

• 1:00:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:06Sam Morril?

  Like, the first date should be like, you both get food poisoning.

• 1:00:10Sam Morril?

  Does she blame you and you're like, alright?

• 1:00:12Mark Normand?

  Yeah, true.

• 1:00:13Sam Morril?

  She didn't blame, she was kinda cool about it. You're like, eh, we should go out.

• 1:00:15Mark Normand?

  Right, right. Well, that's why I think sex immediately is the way to go, cause then you know where you're at.

• 1:00:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah, we should have sex immediately. I'm a feminist. I think we should do it. No, but uh, yeah, sex immediately is a good move.

• 1:00:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, cause then you get it all out of the way. Like, what if you, what if you have a micro penis? Or she's uh, whatever, you know?

• 1:00:35Sam Morril?

  I say before the dinner, we have sex.

• 1:00:36Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:37Sam Morril?

  And I'll send you a car to the restaurant.

• 1:00:38Mark Normand?

  I think other cultures do that.

• 1:00:40Sam Morril?

  No.

• 1:00:40Mark Normand?

  I think so.

• 1:00:41Sam Morril?

  What cultures? Famous rappers?

• 1:00:43Mark Normand?

  I know French eat dessert first.

• 1:00:46Sam Morril?

  French?

• 1:00:47Mark Normand?

  Maybe not French.

• 1:00:48Sam Morril?

  No.

• 1:00:48Mark Normand?

  Somebody eats dessert first.

• 1:00:50Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I don't know.

• 1:00:51Mark Normand?

  Sicilians, something like that.

• 1:00:52Sam Morril?

  What culture eats dessert? That seems like a terrible idea, too.

• 1:00:56Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I guess so. Several cultures. South Indian. Oh, okay. I thought it was more European.

• 1:01:04Sam Morril?

  No, it's not a good food place that's doing this.

• 1:01:06Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I guess you're right.

• 1:01:08Sam Morril?

  There's some good Indian spots in the city right now.

• 1:01:09Mark Normand?

  Oh, Indians, I like Indians.

• 1:01:11Sam Morril?

  Went to a place downtown, uh, Musa Fair with Jim Jeffries dude. Holy shit.

• 1:01:16Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 1:01:17Sam Morril?

  So good.

• 1:01:18Mark Normand?

  Okay. When dating?

• 1:01:21Sam Morril?

  Have sex first when dating?

• 1:01:22Mark Normand?

  Several cultures again. Scandinavia, Europe.

• 1:01:25Sam Morril?

  God, and Scandinavians are smoking hot.

• 1:01:27Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 1:01:28Sam Morril?

  That's a nice part of the world.

• 1:01:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah, and these are confident women. Like, most guys fuck a girl and they're like, how do I get out of here? This is a woman like, I, I'm so confident in me, that he'll still wanna see me after.

• 1:01:39Sam Morril?

  I've had two Scandinavian women brag to me that their ancestors hid Jews during the Holocaust. And I'm like, okay, I mean, great, but I mean, also if your grandparents were Nazis, I probably wouldn't, maybe I'd hold it against you. I don't want any Nazi lineage.

• 1:01:55Mark Normand?

  Yeah, but that's the kinda feeling you're, I mean, you're not gonna-

• 1:01:57Sam Morril?

  Sticking it to them?

• 1:01:58Mark Normand?

  You're not gonna have a kid with this lady.

• 1:01:59Sam Morril?

  You never know.

• 1:02:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I guess that's true. Wow.

• 1:02:02Sam Morril?

  But yeah, but I guess it's nice they hid the Jews.

• 1:02:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah, very nice.

• 1:02:07Sam Morril?

  Germany, what are the, the, the concept of dating is a, as a rigid, say rigid procedure?

• 1:02:13Mark Normand?

  Wow, very German.

• 1:02:15Sam Morril?

  Is less, uh, is less common. Physical intimacy often develops quickly. Is that true?

• 1:02:23Sam Morril?

  They skipped the formal dating phase. Yeah, I guess like a lot of, there's like a lot of hipsters in Germany now.

• 1:02:27Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, that's true.

• 1:02:29Sam Morril?

  Some hot chicks in Berlin.

• 1:02:31Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:02:32Sam Morril?

  Not too sure. France, well, the three date rule exists. This is bullshit, dude. This is all, because they're gonna say stuff about America that we're like, well, let's see what they say about France. Well, the three date rule exists in some narratives and modern dating, physical attraction is often validated early in the process, sometimes leading to sex in the first. I mean, this is every culture. I don't, this is bullshit.

• 1:02:52Mark Normand?

  Mmm.

• 1:02:53Sam Morril?

  There's gotta be some that are crazy.

• 1:02:56Mark Normand?

  Brazil.

• 1:02:57Sam Morril?

  In modern youth culture, uh-oh.

• 1:02:59Mark Normand?

  Here we go.

• 1:03:00Sam Morril?

  Sex on the first date is considered common and widely accepted with a more direct approach to physical intimacy.

• 1:03:06Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:03:06Sam Morril?

  Than in the past. Alright, Brazilian chicks. We can, we can pick Ari's brand about that.

• 1:03:10Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. Wow.

• 1:03:14Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I mean, I, it, I do respect the woman who makes me wait, though, I have to say.

• 1:03:18Mark Normand?

  Oh, interesting.

• 1:03:19Sam Morril?

  Don't you?

• 1:03:20Mark Normand?

  I mean, I, I get annoyed, but you do kinda want it more.

• 1:03:24Sam Morril?

  Of course.

• 1:03:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah, and they seem more, like, less attainable, which makes it more attractive. Yeah.

• 1:03:31Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:31Mark Normand?

  So it does work.

• 1:03:33Sam Morril?

  It works.

• 1:03:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:34Sam Morril?

  You're like, what, why is she holding it back? Like, I'm, I, what do I have to do? It makes you work harder.

• 1:03:38Mark Normand?

  Yeah, but you must be spending a pretty penny with all these dates.

• 1:03:43Sam Morril?

  It depends. Sometimes.

• 1:03:45Mark Normand?

  Alright. Sometimes you get the, hey, you up, which is like, hey, I'm just saving $200.

• 1:03:52Sam Morril?

  Exactly.

• 1:03:52Mark Normand?

  And five hours.

• 1:03:53Sam Morril?

  You're doing the math.

• 1:03:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's pretty good.

• 1:03:56Sam Morril?

  Oh, there's, there's a long line of lineage that's like, extra excited in my body. I'm like, this is great. Loving you up texts.

• 1:04:04Mark Normand?

  Oh, it's great. It's a great time.

• 1:04:05Sam Morril?

  Gotta you up texts. It's a good one.

• 1:04:07Mark Normand?

  It's good. You feel, hey, somebody wants to bang me.

• 1:04:10Sam Morril?

  And, and I think it's become funny again. I think it was douchey for a while. I think you up is now like ironic and kinda fun.

• 1:04:15Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's true. That's true. That's exciting.

• 1:04:19Sam Morril?

  It is exciting, but then you're also like, I feel like the ones you wanna stay longer, never wanna stay longer.

• 1:04:24Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:04:24Sam Morril?

  And the ones that linger, you're always like, alright, why don't we?

• 1:04:27Mark Normand?

  Yeah, but it's kinda chicken to the egg. Do I, does, do I want her to stay longer because she wants to leave? Or do, does, do I want this girl to leave because she wants to stay longer?

• 1:04:35Sam Morril?

  A great point.

• 1:04:36Mark Normand?

  Uh-huh.

• 1:04:37Sam Morril?

  I made a woman a, uh... A to-go cup of coffee, uh, coffee.

• 1:04:41Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:04:42Sam Morril?

  Which I was like, this is my subtle. It's in a paper cup.

• 1:04:45Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's good.

• 1:04:46Sam Morril?

  I thought that was pretty good.

• 1:04:47Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you put it outside the door.

• 1:04:52Sam Morril?

  Put some money next to it. With a note that says cab fare.

• 1:04:59Sam Morril?

  No, but, uh.

• 1:05:01Mark Normand?

  Hey, the, the to-go coffee, that's, that's a good move. Yeah, that's very good.

• 1:05:05Sam Morril?

  Cause it's subtle.

• 1:05:06Mark Normand?

  It is.

• 1:05:06Sam Morril?

  It's not like a fuck you leave, but it's like, oh, in case you wanna.

• 1:05:09Mark Normand?

  It's subtle and it's thoughtful, like, hey, to go, you know, like, if you got, if you got things to do and you can walk around with it, that's pretty good.

• 1:05:17Sam Morril?

  I didn't, I thought it was a good idea.

• 1:05:18Mark Normand?

  Well played.

• 1:05:19Sam Morril?

  I thought it was smart.

• 1:05:20Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I like it.

• 1:05:21Sam Morril?

  Iceland, what do we have at Iceland? Considered one of the most sexual, you've been there, you've been to Iceland.

• 1:05:27Mark Normand?

  Iceland's crazy, but a lot of incest.

• 1:05:29Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 1:05:29Mark Normand?

  They have a dating app in Iceland that, uh, tries to dodge your relatives.

• 1:05:35Sam Morril?

  That should be every dating site.

• 1:05:36Mark Normand?

  That's true. But there's so much that it, it's, uh, it's like a thing where they have to watch out for it.

• 1:05:43Sam Morril?

  Damn, why, yeah, can we, why is there so much incest in Iceland?

• 1:05:46Mark Normand?

  I think there's so few people and they all look kind of alike.

• 1:05:49Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 1:05:49Mark Normand?

  Yeah, give that a go, but I did a gig there.

• 1:05:52Sam Morril?

  That would suck to meet a girl and you really hit it off and you're like, this is the one.

• 1:05:54Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 1:05:55Sam Morril?

  And then you do that 23andMe and you're like, fuck.

• 1:05:58Mark Normand?

  That's true. Yeah, see, it's not a ton of people.

• 1:06:02Sam Morril?

  Let me gene pool.

• 1:06:05Sam Morril?

  So you must thrive with that accent there, cause they're like, he's not.

• 1:06:08Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

• 1:06:10Sam Morril?

  And the women there are pretty, are pretty smoking, right?

• 1:06:12Mark Normand?

  Pretty hot, blue eyes, blonde hair. You would clean up, cause you, you look so different. You got the, the black hair, curly hair, you know? That, that's, uh, you'd stand out.

• 1:06:21Sam Morril?

  Hmm.

• 1:06:21Mark Normand?

  A lot of like man buns out there.

• 1:06:23Sam Morril?

  Oof.

• 1:06:24Mark Normand?

  Yeah, a lot of like Nordic guy who are tough and big and strong, but they're also have long flowing blonde hair and weird, uh, like a lot of like travel gear outfits, you know?

• 1:06:36Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:37Mark Normand?

  A lot of like, uh.

• 1:06:38Sam Morril?

  Camelbacks.

• 1:06:39Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, those windbreaker-y things with the boots.

• 1:06:45Sam Morril?

  Icelandic men, yeah, manly.

• 1:06:47Mark Normand?

  Yeah, there you go.

• 1:06:50Sam Morril?

  God, thank God Salakus isn't here for that picture.

• 1:06:52Mark Normand?

  I know, he'd put us in there. See, like, look at that guy on the right. I saw a lot of guys like that.

• 1:06:58Sam Morril?

  Yeah. They all look like Alexander Skarsgård.

• 1:07:01Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes, exactly.

• 1:07:03Sam Morril?

  Totally.

• 1:07:06Mark Normand?

  Some women are into that, so it's a good look.

• 1:07:08Sam Morril?

  I had another peeve, by the way, I wanna find it.

• 1:07:13Sam Morril?

  Peeve, peeve, peeve.

• 1:07:16Sam Morril?

  Oh my god, this is a minor peeve.

• 1:07:18Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 1:07:19Sam Morril?

  People with really cute dogs, they're like, oh, can I pet your dog? And they're like, kinda pull it away. And you're like, alright, easy chapel rone. You know, it's like, I don't like, it's like, the dog's friendly, why are you such a crotchety fuck?

• 1:07:30Mark Normand?

  Yeah, true.

• 1:07:32Sam Morril?

  And I do it very rarely, but I got a soft spot for the pugs, man.

• 1:07:35Mark Normand?

  Yeah, the pug is cute. Interesting, yeah. Maybe she's worried it'll bite you and then you'll...

• 1:07:42Sam Morril?

  A pug?

• 1:07:42Mark Normand?

  Sue. Oh, yeah. Well, Winnie was no joke.

• 1:07:45Sam Morril?

  Winnie was, Winnie was an animal.

• 1:07:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah. So maybe that's it. I don't know. And if you ask, I think it's cool, because some people just go in for it.

• 1:07:53Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I would ask.

• 1:07:54Mark Normand?

  That's rude.

• 1:07:54Sam Morril?

  I would ask.

• 1:07:55Mark Normand?

  That's why the service dogs have the don't pet me thing on it. Which is so tough. You see a big golden retriever in the airport, you're like, oh, I wanna pet him.

• 1:08:03Sam Morril?

  They don't get any affection, it's not fair.

• 1:08:05Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 1:08:05Sam Morril?

  It's fucked up. That's like, that's like your next Pixar movie, the drug sniffing dog that is like, I just wanna be pet.

• 1:08:11Mark Normand?

  That's good.

• 1:08:12Sam Morril?

  That's something.

• 1:08:13Mark Normand?

  And he's secretly on drugs, you find out at the end of the movie. The whole time he was stationed.

• 1:08:17Sam Morril?

  What did you think? No one ever touched me, man?

• 1:08:20Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I'm literally sniffing for coke. I'm gonna get some, eventually. Now I'm hooked.

• 1:08:24Sam Morril?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:08:25Mark Normand?

  That's something. Pixar drug sniffing dog.

• 1:08:28Sam Morril?

  There's some, something there.

• 1:08:29Mark Normand?

  Put that on the back burner. I like that.

• 1:08:32Sam Morril?

  I don't think they're buying that one. You're just, you're in an LA office, he's a coked out dog, but he doesn't know it yet.

• 1:08:39Mark Normand?

  Yeah, and he's cute.

• 1:08:41Sam Morril?

  I think it was a Family Guy, where he got hooked on drugs, the drug sniffing dog.

• 1:08:45Mark Normand?

  Oh, I think you're right, Brian. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:49Sam Morril?

  What, uh...

• 1:08:50Mark Normand?

  That's fun.

• 1:08:51Sam Morril?

  Any other peeves?

• 1:08:52Mark Normand?

  Uh, I think, shit, Peter's is my phone, but I think that was it. I had, uh, didn't have anything good.

• 1:08:58Sam Morril?

  Yeah, they did do it. What, uh, I got a rec for you, too.

• 1:09:00Mark Normand?

  Alright, hit me.

• 1:09:02Sam Morril?

  Shout out Tim Dillon, because he rec'd it on our pod, and I just, you know, I have such a long queue of movies and stuff, but, uh, Mike Lee movie Secrets and Lies, great.

• 1:09:12Mark Normand?

  Wow, Seagulls, I don't know this.

• 1:09:14Sam Morril?

  It's a 90s British movie.

• 1:09:17Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:09:18Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's about a woman who tries to find her adoptive parents. She's black. The mom is white.

• 1:09:25Mark Normand?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:09:25Sam Morril?

  But like, race is not that integral to it, but it's... But it's just good. It's just a, it's a fucking weird movie and it's awkward and...

• 1:09:34Mark Normand?

  Oh wow, 95, 91.

• 1:09:36Sam Morril?

  It's good.

• 1:09:37Mark Normand?

  Alright, is it, uh, funny?

• 1:09:39Sam Morril?

  Some parts are really funny and some parts are like brutal, but he does some really cool shit where there'll be long one-shots and stuff. And I think Mike Lee just like, I don't even think he writes a script. I think he just kinda figures it out with his actors and lets them cook, so... But to do that and then have the scenes be so long without a cut, you're like, damn, you really trust act, your actors to just make this work?

• 1:10:00Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:01Sam Morril?

  But yeah, I thought it was really good.

• 1:10:02Mark Normand?

  Alright, great. I'll check it out.

• 1:10:04Sam Morril?

  It was really, really good. Naked is another great one by him.

• 1:10:06Mark Normand?

  Ah, okay. Uh, I'm watching Born to Bowled, I'm loving it.

• 1:10:11Sam Morril?

  What's that?

• 1:10:11Mark Normand?

  Born to Bowled is a Brent, Ben Stiller's new show.

• 1:10:14Sam Morril?

  I gotta watch it.

• 1:10:15Mark Normand?

  It's so, it's like a docu-series, but bowling has so much comedy in it and it's so bare-boned. Like, we think comedy, stand-up comedy in the early years was tough with like, doing shit gigs, riding on a Greyhound, going from place to place, sleeping on a couch. These guys are professional, like, they win leagues and win Bowler of the Year and they're still broke.

• 1:10:36Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 1:10:37Mark Normand?

  And they, they live in a shit house in a shit town and they just love to bowl. And they're amazing bowlers. They've all won trophies and all this and they're like scraping by, you know, drinking stale beer, eating nachos for free. It's crazy, but they're fun guy, and Pete Weber's in it. Who Do You Think You Are, I Am? That guy, and he's funny in it.

• 1:10:56Sam Morril?

  How's he doing? Is he doing alright?

• 1:10:57Mark Normand?

  Not great. He's, he's looking rough, like, smoking, still drinking.

• 1:11:01Sam Morril?

  Does he have his own home at least? He's not living at home.

• 1:11:03Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he's got a place, I think, but, uh, it's all very, um...

• 1:11:09Sam Morril?

  Who Do You Think You Are, I Am is iconic.

• 1:11:11Mark Normand?

  Like, I, I don't care about bowling at all and I'm riveted by the show.

• 1:11:15Sam Morril?

  I gotta watch it.

• 1:11:16Mark Normand?

  Just seeing that world.

• 1:11:19Sam Morril?

  I do love that shit.

• 1:11:20Mark Normand?

  I love it. I love when they go inside and like really expose a thing. And all the bowling alleys are sad and they show them buying the balls and it's all, they eat horribly. They don't exercise. They're all have bad backs. It's great.

• 1:11:34Sam Morril?

  Damn. Speaking of Stiller, I saw him post this long thing about the movie Reds with Warren Beatty and

• 1:11:40Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:11:40Sam Morril?

  Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson. So I shot him a DM and I was like, hey, I just bought this movie on DVD like two months ago. I'm gonna watch it. And he was like, I think it's really good. It's three hours and 15 minutes.

• 1:11:51Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:11:52Sam Morril?

  It's slow as fuck.

• 1:11:53Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 1:11:54Sam Morril?

  Nicholson is amazing in it. He plays Eugene O'Neill, the playwright.

• 1:11:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:58Sam Morril?

  He's like a kind of a morose alcoholic.

• 1:12:00Mark Normand?

  Uh huh.

• 1:12:00Sam Morril?

  And he's hilarious. Every time he shows up, it's gold. It's too fucking long.

• 1:12:04Mark Normand?

  So yeah, it sounds like it.

• 1:12:05Sam Morril?

  And there's not action or anything. Like there's very few movies that can hold me for three hours. And there's like a lot of plot lines going that don't end that. It's not bad, but like Beatty won best director for

• 1:12:16Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:12:17Sam Morril?

  And I'm like, this could have been edited down.

• 1:12:20Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah. It's a shame to have all that star power and still be boring.

• 1:12:24Sam Morril?

  There's just too many storylines going on at once, but there's, but there's certain scenes where you're like, holy shit, that was incredible.

• 1:12:30Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 1:12:30Sam Morril?

  And then other scenes where you're like, all right, pick it up.

• 1:12:32Mark Normand?

  Did you finish it?

• 1:12:33Sam Morril?

  I did.

• 1:12:34Mark Normand?

  Well, all right.

• 1:12:34Sam Morril?

  I can't not finish.

• 1:12:35Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:37Sam Morril?

  But, uh.

• 1:12:38Mark Normand?

  That's my wife. All right. It was sitting right there. But yeah, yeah. All right. Yeah, Reds. I think I put it on on cable, but I never got.

• 1:12:46Sam Morril?

  There's like great scenes, but like, yeah, it's not a rec.

• 1:12:48Mark Normand?

  All right. I watched Mira off of your rec.

• 1:12:51Sam Morril?

  Which one?

• 1:12:52Mark Normand?

  Uh, Jerry and Mira.

• 1:12:53Sam Morril?

  Oh, yeah. What do you think?

• 1:12:54Mark Normand?

  I thought it was great. It was touching. So touching. Heavy stuff. I've seen New York in the eighties was cool, Upper West Side like that.

• 1:13:02Sam Morril?

  List wrecked it to me. He was like, you gotta, I think it was you and me on a thread with him.

• 1:13:06Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:07Sam Morril?

  But, uh, yeah.

• 1:13:08Mark Normand?

  Look at that. Great stuff.

• 1:13:10Sam Morril?

  Great stuff, dude.

• 1:13:11Mark Normand?

  Living in that apartment with all those artists and super cool.

• 1:13:14Sam Morril?

  So New York.

• 1:13:15Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Love that shit. I love anytime you can get an era. Like I'm watching the Chili Peppers doc and like that LA.

• 1:13:22Sam Morril?

  Is it a new doc or is it older?

• 1:13:23Mark Normand?

  It's on Netflix. It's brand new.

• 1:13:25Sam Morril?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:13:25Mark Normand?

  And it's all about how they started. Flea is unreal. Like, the guy, I thought he was playing bass when he was like, five. He, they, he was hanging out with a dude, they're all smoking weed, they're like, "You'd be good at guitar, you should pick up the guitar." And he's like, "Okay." Starts playing bass, and they're like, "We have a gig in two weeks." He learned bass in two weeks, enough to play live shows.

• 1:13:43Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 1:13:44Mark Normand?

  And now he's just amazing at it. But, uh, they're just guys wandering around, they're like-

• 1:13:49Sam Morril?

  Is he considered one of the best bassists ever?

• 1:13:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah, completely. And he plays the trumpet, he plays the piano. But these were just knock-around guys in LA who would just get high and go to the beach and fuck around. They all had broken homes. And they just became this band, but they showed this great footage of them on Sunset Strip as like, 21-year-olds. And they're like, got Mohawks, and they get into fistfights and do blow, and they get, they become addicted to heroin. It's fascinating.

• 1:14:13Sam Morril?

  You don't get some of those songs without some heroin in them.

• 1:14:15Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, totally. I didn't know the lead guy, Anthony Kiedis, was a rapper.

• 1:14:20Sam Morril?

  What?

• 1:14:21Mark Normand?

  That's how he started.

• 1:14:22Sam Morril?

  Oh my god.

• 1:14:22Mark Normand?

  So, they're like musicians, and he's like, "Let me rap with ya." And they were like, "I guess," and it worked out.

• 1:14:27Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 1:14:28Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:29Sam Morril?

  I guess you hear that a little bit in some of the songs, like-

• 1:14:31Mark Normand?

  Give it away, give it away, give it away, it's all very fast, you know? And, uh-

• 1:14:35Sam Morril?

  They were at my show once in LA, I did a gig-

• 1:14:37Mark Normand?

  What?

• 1:14:37Sam Morril?

  I did a gig at like, the Regent. And Tom Taccar was over there for me, he's like, "Dude, the red hot chili peppers in the crowd." And I was like, "What?"

• 1:14:43Mark Normand?

  Holy shit.

• 1:14:44Sam Morril?

  And apparently, I don't know which one of them, he's like, "One of them like, asked if he had any merch." And I was like, "I didn't bring merch, they would've bought fucking merch."

• 1:14:50Mark Normand?

  Wow, man.

• 1:14:50Sam Morril?

  That would've been so cool.

• 1:14:51Mark Normand?

  Imagine Flea wearing a Naples shirt.

• 1:14:52Sam Morril?

  I think it was everyone but him, was that right?

• 1:14:54Mark Normand?

  Oh, okay, okay.

• 1:14:54Sam Morril?

  But I was like, "Fuck."

• 1:14:56Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:56Sam Morril?

  I would've loved to have met him, I didn't get to meet him.

• 1:14:58Mark Normand?

  Super crazy story, uh, yeah, it's a fun, I'm only halfway through, but I'm, I'm loving it.

• 1:15:03Sam Morril?

  Damn, there's so many docs.

• 1:15:04Mark Normand?

  I know. Now we got a Norm one coming out, we got a Lorne Michaels one coming out.

• 1:15:09Sam Morril?

  And Judge said we might be in the Norm one.

• 1:15:11Mark Normand?

  Ooh, that would be, that would be touching.

• 1:15:14Sam Morril?

  A lot of docs.

• 1:15:15Mark Normand?

  They used to perform naked, I mean, these guys were wild.

• 1:15:17Sam Morril?

  Naked?

• 1:15:17Mark Normand?

  Yeah, they were animals.

• 1:15:19Sam Morril?

  I mean, yeah, look at that.

• 1:15:20Mark Normand?

  Just street kids.

• 1:15:22Sam Morril?

  That is wild.

• 1:15:24Mark Normand?

  But they showed, they got some good LA in the eighties vibes and it was fun. It was free and, you know, beachy.

• 1:15:32Sam Morril?

  I wonder if they still tour?

• 1:15:33Mark Normand?

  I think so, yeah. I think they're still out there. Yeah, they're killing it.

• 1:15:36Sam Morril?

  They were fucking massive. I'm sure they still are. They did the, they did the Super Bowl a few years ago.

• 1:15:41Mark Normand?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:15:42Sam Morril?

  Remember?

• 1:15:43Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, that's right. Yeah, they have, they had a gay, this gay black guy, one of their friends coming up, he was an artist. And when they started the band, he's like, "You guys are red hot. You guys are red hot." And that's when they got the name.

• 1:15:54Sam Morril?

  Wow. Damn.

• 1:15:57Mark Normand?

  So, yeah, fun, fun stuff like that. Never been a huge fan of the band.

• 1:16:02Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 1:16:02Mark Normand?

  Yeah, but seeing the dog.

• 1:16:04Sam Morril?

  They got a lot of good songs, though.

• 1:16:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah. But. Californication, not for me. Not the trash.

• 1:16:13Sam Morril?

  You just love a doc.

• 1:16:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I like a doc.

• 1:16:16Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:16Mark Normand?

  But, "Come See Me Too," I'd love to, I'd love to have you in the audience.

• 1:16:20Sam Morril?

  That was a great, yeah, it's a great, uh, invite right there. Not a fan, but, uh...

• 1:16:25Mark Normand?

  I think they're talented. I just don't, don't connect with it. Nah, nah. It was more like a Pearl Jam, Nirvana.

• 1:16:31Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 1:16:31Mark Normand?

  Green Day, yeah, yeah.

• 1:16:33Sam Morril?

  Green Day is, Green Day is, yeah, classic.

• 1:16:35Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:16:36Sam Morril?

  Nirvana, Guns N' Roses.

• 1:16:38Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's fun.

• 1:16:40Sam Morril?

  They had a, they had a run, man.

• 1:16:41Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:41Sam Morril?

  Appetite for Destruction, and like, Use Your Illusion 1 and 2, those were fucking, just heat from start to finish, just great.

• 1:16:48Mark Normand?

  Guns N' Roses.

• 1:16:49Sam Morril?

  Some would say red hot.

• 1:16:52Mark Normand?

  Might be top ten American band, Guns N' Roses.

• 1:16:54Sam Morril?

  You think so?

• 1:16:55Mark Normand?

  I would say. It's like Beach Boys, Guns N' Roses.

• 1:16:57Sam Morril?

  Like, who's in the mix? Let's like, pull some up. Let's see, what, what do they say the top ten American bands are, like, online?

• 1:17:02Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:17:03Sam Morril?

  Beach Boys have gotta be in there.

• 1:17:04Mark Normand?

  Gotta be.

• 1:17:05Sam Morril?

  So fucking, Pet Sounds, dude. Holy shit.

• 1:17:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah, who else?

• 1:17:09Sam Morril?

  Metallica?

• 1:17:10Mark Normand?

  Ah, yeah. Oh, the Eagles is big.

• 1:17:13Sam Morril?

  Yeah. Oh, you gotta put Creedence in there.

• 1:17:14Mark Normand?

  Yeah. And yeah, Nirvana.

• 1:17:17Sam Morril?

  I guess I never got into a lot of these.

• 1:17:19Mark Normand?

  Pearl Jam.

• 1:17:19Sam Morril?

  Never really got into the Eagles, or, or Van Halen, or Aerosmith, to be honest.

• 1:17:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah, Aerosmith's good, but it's...

• 1:17:24Sam Morril?

  It's good, it's just I never got, like, really into it.

• 1:17:26Mark Normand?

  Same, same.

• 1:17:27Sam Morril?

  But they're good.

• 1:17:27Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:27Sam Morril?

  But it's just not, what else is there?

• 1:17:29Mark Normand?

  It's hard to beat the Brits, I gotta say.

• 1:17:31Sam Morril?

  The Brits got us.

• 1:17:32Mark Normand?

  It's like Beatles, or The Who, Led Zeppelin, uh, Stones, yeah.

• 1:17:36Sam Morril?

  Fucking kinks.

• 1:17:38Mark Normand?

  Kinks, yes. It just keeps going. Blackadder and Crows, uh, Blood, Sweat and Tears is pretty great.

• 1:17:48Mark Normand?

  Yeah, you see? It's almost like a... Like a B-side compared to the Beatles and all those other guys. Oh, yeah.

• 1:17:57Sam Morril?

  Not a band, though.

• 1:17:58Mark Normand?

  Not a band. Steve Miller, Foo Fighters, eh... Pearl Jam. Eh, the Meters, wow.

• 1:18:10Sam Morril?

  What are the great... Like, what else are we missing in for British?

• 1:18:13Mark Normand?

  Ramones, Lynyrd Skynyrd's pretty good.

• 1:18:16Sam Morril?

  What about British, though? Oh, Seeger's fucking amazing. I love Seeger.

• 1:18:20Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Oh, Tedeschi Truck Band's made it. How about that?

• 1:18:23Sam Morril?

  What about British, though? Go British now.

• 1:18:25Mark Normand?

  British is gonna...

• 1:18:26Sam Morril?

  They're gonna fucking smoke us, right?

• 1:18:28Mark Normand?

  Blow us off the...

• 1:18:29Sam Morril?

  Fuck, they got Oasis, too.

• 1:18:30Mark Normand?

  I know, you're right. But we invented it.

• 1:18:35Sam Morril?

  The Beatles, Zeppelin.

• 1:18:37Mark Normand?

  Oh, Radiohead, Pink Floyd, Jesus.

• 1:18:41Sam Morril?

  The Smiths, alright. Oasis, The Cure, The Clash. Wow. Stone Roses, The Kinks.

• 1:18:47Mark Normand?

  There you go. Queen!

• 1:18:49Sam Morril?

  Blur.

• 1:18:50Mark Normand?

  Black Sabbath is great. The Who is great. Oh, T-Rex is underrated.

• 1:18:55Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:56Mark Normand?

  Never heard of The Jam. Supervillain, they fall off quick.

• 1:18:59Sam Morril?

  What about ELO?

• 1:19:01Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's a great band.

• 1:19:03Sam Morril?

  That's a great fucking band.

• 1:19:04Mark Normand?

  That's gotta be American.

• 1:19:05Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:05Mark Normand?

  Come on, US! Where are they out of? Oh, no, Birmingham! Fuck! Which one? England, damn it!

• 1:19:15Sam Morril?

  It was too good to be true.

• 1:19:16Mark Normand?

  Damn it, that's a great band.

• 1:19:18Sam Morril?

  They got some fucking hits.

• 1:19:19Mark Normand?

  Great. We got the Allman Brothers!

• 1:19:21Sam Morril?

  Ooh, that's big.

• 1:19:21Mark Normand?

  Alright, we're back! Okay.

• 1:19:25Sam Morril?

  We got a lot of good, like, individuals. We got, like, Bob Dylan. We got... Yeah, we got a lot of good...

• 1:19:29Mark Normand?

  That's true. Billy Joel.

• 1:19:31Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:32Mark Normand?

  Eh...

• 1:19:33Sam Morril?

  Lana Cohen.

• 1:19:34Mark Normand?

  Cohen. I'm trying to think of arena guys. Oh, we got Jimi Hendrix also, by the way.

• 1:19:39Sam Morril?

  Hendrix, fuck, yeah.

• 1:19:40Mark Normand?

  Okay, okay. Elvis! We're back! Chuck Berry.

• 1:19:45Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:46Mark Normand?

  Eh...

• 1:19:46Sam Morril?

  We got rap, Biggie, Tupac.

• 1:19:48Mark Normand?

  Oh, I got all the rap. Eminem.

• 1:19:50Sam Morril?

  British rap is for the most part. Oof.

• 1:19:54Mark Normand?

  Yeah, Styx. Oh, we haven't, oh, we got Fleetwood Mac, I would throw in there as well. Need a lady.

• 1:20:01Sam Morril?

  Kanye, as a Jew, it hurts to say, but Kanye.

• 1:20:03Mark Normand?

  Yeah. You know, they said he was doing the arena in Tel Aviv, and I fucking fell for it.

• 1:20:08Sam Morril?

  What?

• 1:20:08Mark Normand?

  I thought that was real. I was like, oh my god, the Jews are so forgiving. He did a Heil Hitler song. It went to number one. So I thought he was, I thought that was real.

• 1:20:19Sam Morril?

  Can you imagine buying tickets to that? You're like, I hope he doesn't play the new album. Play the old stuff, please.

• 1:20:23Mark Normand?

  Please. Um, I think he's trying to get back in with you guys. He apologized.

• 1:20:29Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I think he's just, oh, James Brown.

• 1:20:31Mark Normand?

  James Brown.

• 1:20:32Sam Morril?

  Fuck.

• 1:20:32Mark Normand?

  Little Richard.

• 1:20:33Sam Morril?

  Ray Charles.

• 1:20:35Mark Normand?

  Come on. Sam Cooke is great. Stevie Wonder's a killer.

• 1:20:39Sam Morril?

  Prince, how we missed Prince.

• 1:20:41Mark Normand?

  Alright, we're okay.

• 1:20:41Sam Morril?

  We got, we're back.

• 1:20:42Mark Normand?

  We're good.

• 1:20:42Sam Morril?

  We got the solo artist down.

• 1:20:44Mark Normand?

  Yeah, Springsteen.

• 1:20:45Sam Morril?

  Oh, we missed Springsteen, dude.

• 1:20:47Mark Normand?

  Yeah, Johnny Cash is killer.

• 1:20:48Sam Morril?

  Cash.

• 1:20:49Mark Normand?

  I'm not a Metallica fan.

• 1:20:50Sam Morril?

  Nina Simone.

• 1:20:51Mark Normand?

  Uh huh. Supremes are big, Temptations are huge. Alright, we're killing it. Marvin Gaye, Madonna.

• 1:20:58Sam Morril?

  Sinatra.

• 1:20:59Mark Normand?

  Oh, Sinatra.

• 1:21:01Sam Morril?

  Classic. Whitney Houston, dude.

• 1:21:03Mark Normand?

  Whitney Houston.

• 1:21:03Sam Morril?

  Talking Heads, Boy Orbison, we're alright. We're alright, baby. We're back.

• 1:21:08Mark Normand?

  J. Joplin. We are alright. Okay.

• 1:21:11Sam Morril?

  Rock Lobster, no.

• 1:21:14Sam Morril?

  The B-52s.

• 1:21:16Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. What was that other one? Oh, AC/DC is Australia. Oh, give them one, they got one.

• 1:21:21Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:22Mark Normand?

  Man at Work? Uh, I think that's British. Alright, fuck it. Okay.

• 1:21:26Sam Morril?

  Carole King's great.

• 1:21:27Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:28Sam Morril?

  Earth, Wind & Fire.

• 1:21:29Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, they're great. The Doors, that's a big one. Simon and the Carbuncle.

• 1:21:34Sam Morril?

  Dude, uh...

• 1:21:35Mark Normand?

  Paul Simon, I love.

• 1:21:37Sam Morril?

  Damn, dude. Alright, we're alright.

• 1:21:38Mark Normand?

  The Dead.

• 1:21:39Sam Morril?

  The Dead are massive.

• 1:21:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah, we're back. We're killing it.

• 1:21:41Sam Morril?

  Willie Nelson, we're fucking fine, dude.

• 1:21:42Mark Normand?

  Yeah. Suck it, you limeys. Alright.

• 1:21:46Sam Morril?

  It's kind of a fun movie. You ever see that one, The Limey?

• 1:21:48Mark Normand?

  No, never heard of it.

• 1:21:49Sam Morril?

  Terrence Stamp?

• 1:21:49Mark Normand?

  No.

• 1:21:50Sam Morril?

  Soderbergh, 90s.

• 1:21:51Mark Normand?

  What?

• 1:21:51Sam Morril?

  Fun one.

• 1:21:52Mark Normand?

  No, I don't know it.

• 1:21:53Sam Morril?

  Check it out. Stylish, 90s, uh...

• 1:21:56Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:21:57Sam Morril?

  Crime, yeah.

• 1:21:58Mark Normand?

  Oh, this is right up my alley.

• 1:21:59Sam Morril?

  90 Minutes, too.

• 1:22:00Mark Normand?

  Okay.

• 1:22:00Sam Morril?

  Terrence Stamp's cool as fuck. Oh, Peter Fonda.

• 1:22:02Mark Normand?

  Guzman is in it.

• 1:22:03Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's a fun one.

• 1:22:05Mark Normand?

  Alright. Hell yeah.

• 1:22:07Sam Morril?

  Yeah, it's a great soundtrack, too. Soderbergh, man, when he hits.

• 1:22:12Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:13Sam Morril?

  He fucking hits.

• 1:22:13Mark Normand?

  What's his big one?

• 1:22:15Sam Morril?

  Out of Sight's great.

• 1:22:16Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:22:16Sam Morril?

  Didn't he do the Ocean's movies?

• 1:22:17Mark Normand?

  I think he did.

• 1:22:18Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:19Mark Normand?

  There's Soderbergh, and then there's another guy with a similar name. Uh.

• 1:22:23Sam Morril?

  Didn't see Black Bag. That got good reviews, though.

• 1:22:26Mark Normand?

  Oh, oh, he did Magic Mike's Last Dance.

• 1:22:28Sam Morril?

  Wow.

• 1:22:29Mark Normand?

  That's a money grab. And the original.

• 1:22:31Sam Morril?

  People love that shit, though.

• 1:22:32Mark Normand?

  People love it.

• 1:22:35Sam Morril?

  Yeah, he's all over the place.

• 1:22:36Mark Normand?

  You see Che Guevara?

• 1:22:37Sam Morril?

  Dude, Traffic.

• 1:22:38Mark Normand?

  Oh, that won the Oscar.

• 1:22:40Sam Morril?

  That was a good one.

• 1:22:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:41Sam Morril?

  Che, oh, Aaron Brockovich.

• 1:22:43Mark Normand?

  Oh, he's killing it.

• 1:22:44Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:45Mark Normand?

  Sex, Lies, and Videotape. I love a guy who started with an indie to break through.

• 1:22:48Sam Morril?

  I never saw that one.

• 1:22:49Mark Normand?

  It's pretty good.

• 1:22:50Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:50Mark Normand?

  It's slow, but it's good.

• 1:22:51Sam Morril?

  Peter Gallagher. I got his fucking eyebrows, and that's it.

• 1:22:56Sam Morril?

  What, uh, yeah, it's a good flick, though.

• 1:22:58Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's fun.

• 1:22:59Sam Morril?

  Check it out.

• 1:22:59Mark Normand?

  Che Guevara, he, uh, he got caught diddling kids. You see that?

• 1:23:02Sam Morril?

  What?

• 1:23:03Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:04Sam Morril?

  Just now?

• 1:23:05Mark Normand?

  No, no, back in the day. But they took all the statues down.

• 1:23:08Sam Morril?

  Some detective was hot on that case.

• 1:23:10Mark Normand?

  It was a cold case, but he cracked it.

• 1:23:12Sam Morril?

  Yeah?

• 1:23:12Mark Normand?

  Uh.

• 1:23:13Sam Morril?

  What happened?

• 1:23:14Mark Normand?

  They just found out he was diddling kids the whole time, and so they took down all the statues.

• 1:23:20Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 1:23:20Mark Normand?

  Was it him, or was it the other guy?

• 1:23:22Sam Morril?

  Castro?

• 1:23:23Mark Normand?

  Cesar Chavez?

• 1:23:24Sam Morril?

  Oh, I think it was Chavez.

• 1:23:25Mark Normand?

  Maybe it was Chavez. I get them mixed up.

• 1:23:29Mark Normand?

  It was Michael Che.

• 1:23:32Mark Normand?

  There you go. Civil Rights Icon.

• 1:23:35Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I did not hear that about, uh, Che Guevara.

• 1:23:38Mark Normand?

  No, no.

• 1:23:38Sam Morril?

  Anyone from the Che Guevara estate listening, we apologize.

• 1:23:41Mark Normand?

  It's all right, it's all right. He's the Cuban, right?

• 1:23:43Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:44Mark Normand?

  Okay. What's going on with Cuba? Do we own that?

• 1:23:48Sam Morril?

  No.

• 1:23:48Mark Normand?

  Okay, we're getting there, I think.

• 1:23:50Sam Morril?

  No.

• 1:23:51Mark Normand?

  It's getting close.

• 1:23:52Sam Morril?

  But, yeah, beautiful place.

• 1:23:54Mark Normand?

  That's what I hear.

• 1:23:55Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:55Mark Normand?

  They're not allowed to get new cars. They keep fixing up the old cars.

• 1:23:58Sam Morril?

  Dude, yeah, just fucking shoot a, uh, old movie there, maybe. Just use Cuba.

• 1:24:02Mark Normand?

  It's a good idea. Look at those old cars. They just keep fixing them. It's kinda cool.

• 1:24:04Sam Morril?

  It's kinda beautiful.

• 1:24:05Mark Normand?

  Bill Burr had that great idea for a show, Cuban cars. And just do like a Pimp My Ride, but with Cuban cars.

• 1:24:12Sam Morril?

  Damn, that's not a bad idea.

• 1:24:13Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:13Sam Morril?

  Just fucking bank 12 and leave.

• 1:24:15Mark Normand?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:24:16Sam Morril?

  Fly comics out. He could probably do it.

• 1:24:18Mark Normand?

  Yeah. My mom went there for some work thing, and she was like, it was, it was tight. It was rough. Like, you can't go everywhere. They shut shit down after a certain hour. Some places just don't have water. Good times.

• 1:24:32Sam Morril?

  Communism, man.

• 1:24:33Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's no good.

• 1:24:34Sam Morril?

  You think you want it until you get it.

• 1:24:37Mark Normand?

  Yep. Everybody likes free. Free this, free that, but nothing's free, goddammit.

• 1:24:42Sam Morril?

  Yeah, there's weird rules.

• 1:24:44Mark Normand?

  Mm-hmm. But we're selfish by nature, so it just doesn't work with the human condition.

• 1:24:50Sam Morril?

  Not in America.

• 1:24:51Mark Normand?

  No.

• 1:24:52Sam Morril?

  God, look at those fu- look at the water there, though. Look at that. Go back to that. It's fucking beautiful.

• 1:24:56Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's so close to us, too. To right off Florida's dick tip there.

• 1:25:00Sam Morril?

  I don't like, I don't like cigars, but a Cuban, it's something about it, man. It hits.

• 1:25:04Mark Normand?

  Have you had one?

• 1:25:05Sam Morril?

  Yeah, they're amazing.

• 1:25:06Mark Normand?

  Oh, never had one.

• 1:25:06Sam Morril?

  Oh, they're so good.

• 1:25:07Mark Normand?

  Really?

• 1:25:08Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:08Mark Normand?

  Damn, I'd love to have one.

• 1:25:09Sam Morril?

  Look at that. Look at the colors of the fucking buildings.

• 1:25:11Mark Normand?

  I know. I think at one point it was booming.

• 1:25:14Sam Morril?

  It's where Hemingway, oh yeah, I mean, the casinos and all the, you know.

• 1:25:18Mark Normand?

  The mob guys.

• 1:25:18Sam Morril?

  Yeah, the mob guys would go there and Hemingway would just fucking get lit up there. He lived there.

• 1:25:23Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's right.

• 1:25:24Sam Morril?

  You know?

• 1:25:25Mark Normand?

  And Key West.

• 1:25:26Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I mean, that's two great places for an alcoholic.

• 1:25:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah, that's true. And he loved cats.

• 1:25:33Sam Morril?

  Damn.

• 1:25:34Mark Normand?

  Oh, is that him with Chavez?

• 1:25:35Sam Morril?

  No, with Castro.

• 1:25:36Mark Normand?

  Castro.

• 1:25:37Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:37Mark Normand?

  The Castro stuff's great. They tried to kill him with an exploding cigar.

• 1:25:40Sam Morril?

  So many ways to try to kill him.

• 1:25:42Mark Normand?

  Yeah, couldn't do it.

• 1:25:43Sam Morril?

  He lived a long time.

• 1:25:44Mark Normand?

  It's like Trump. It's like, multiple attempts. Can't kill him.

• 1:25:48Sam Morril?

  He was crafty.

• 1:25:49Mark Normand?

  He drinks eight Diet Cokes and four cheeseburgers a day.

• 1:25:52Sam Morril?

  I think he lost a couple brothers in some of those wars when they, on the revolution, Castro, but it was like, you know. He had a couple brothers left, though, when he was in power. It was, I think, Raul and someone else.

• 1:26:05Mark Normand?

  Hmm.

• 1:26:06Sam Morril?

  But that, I mean, the baseball scene in Cuba is fucking insane.

• 1:26:09Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, they're the best.

• 1:26:11Sam Morril?

  They do it differently, where they do it like, you play where you're from.

• 1:26:14Mark Normand?

  Oh, I like that.

• 1:26:15Sam Morril?

  And so it's like, it's kind of cool.

• 1:26:17Mark Normand?

  I, yeah, I think that's better.

• 1:26:18Sam Morril?

  Because like, there's so much more pride.

• 1:26:20Mark Normand?

  Exactly.

• 1:26:20Sam Morril?

  Think the team is like the Imperialis, right?

• 1:26:23Mark Normand?

  Right. It's like that old Seinfeld joke, you're really just rooting for a, a uniform.

• 1:26:28Sam Morril?

  Exactly, that's a great bit.

• 1:26:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:30Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I remember that one.

• 1:26:32Mark Normand?

  Wow, yeah, Cubans are great at baseball and Dominicans.

• 1:26:36Sam Morril?

  Oh my god, yeah.

• 1:26:38Mark Normand?

  Was that old Colin Quinn joke? Any Dominican kid could beat Babe Ruth in baseball now. We act like Babe Ruth is like legend, but any-

• 1:26:46Sam Morril?

  He was a legend, dude.

• 1:26:47Mark Normand?

  He was a legend, but-

• 1:26:48Sam Morril?

  Fuck this revisionist history. The guy was overweight.

• 1:26:52Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:52Sam Morril?

  He fucking smoked cigars, he drank all night, he ate like shit, and he gambled all night.

• 1:26:57Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:58Sam Morril?

  And, and he was still knocking bombs.

• 1:27:00Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 1:27:01Sam Morril?

  Fuck this Babe Ruth hate.

• 1:27:02Mark Normand?

  I like Ruth, the, the bambino, pull up his diet if you can. This is what Babe Ruth ate in a day. It was like four steaks, a bottle of gin.

• 1:27:10Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:11Mark Normand?

  You know, two cigars, pussy, and, uh, like a ham sandwich.

• 1:27:15Sam Morril?

  He made it to like 54 in life. He did not live long.

• 1:27:18Mark Normand?

  No.

• 1:27:19Sam Morril?

  Cause you don't live long on that diet.

• 1:27:21Mark Normand?

  Oh.

• 1:27:21Speaker 06

  Babe Ruth was known for his legendary appetite on conventional diet.

• 1:27:24Sam Morril?

  Oh, this Dan.

• 1:27:25Speaker 06

  A pint of whiskey mixed with ginger ale.

• 1:27:28Mark Normand?

  Oh, a pint? Wait, that's how it starts. You could hit a 90 mile an hour fastball even eight hours later.

• 1:27:33Speaker 06

  Maybe that's the trick though.

• 1:27:34Mark Normand?

  Maybe.

• 1:27:35Speaker 06

  Maybe it slows down, makes that ball a freaking beach ball. A steak, four fried eggs.

• 1:27:41Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 1:27:42Speaker 06

  Fried potatoes, and a pot of coffee to balance out that.

• 1:27:46Mark Normand?

  Oh, hell yeah.

• 1:27:46Sam Morril?

  I was having the alcohol, this actually doesn't sound that bad for you.

• 1:27:48Mark Normand?

  That's true.

• 1:27:49Sam Morril?

  This is like what like most manosphere people are eating now.

• 1:27:52Mark Normand?

  It's keto.

• 1:27:52Sam Morril?

  You gotta have your eggs, man.

• 1:27:53Mark Normand?

  Yeah, protein.

• 1:27:55Sam Morril?

  The liquor is where they get, and also he would just like, it's cool, there's this book on Lou Gehrig that's really good. I forgot the name of it, it's one of the popular ones, but, uh, there's, cause there's a couple, but, uh, they were complete opposites, like Lou Gehrig's Mama's Boy.

• 1:28:08Mark Normand?

  Mmm.

• 1:28:09Sam Morril?

  You know, very good, like, so funny, that's when people were like racist against the Irish.

• 1:28:13Mark Normand?

  Right.

• 1:28:14Sam Morril?

  You know, that was America, those were like the new immigrants, but, uh, it's, it's great, and, uh, Luckiest Man, that's the one.

• 1:28:20Mark Normand?

  Mmm.

• 1:28:21Sam Morril?

  But, uh, and you know, they were just polar opposites, but they were the two leaders, and he kinda looked up to Babe, and Babe was, was just the man. Like-

• 1:28:29Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:30Sam Morril?

  Everyone was like, he's the, unless you were his kid. In which case, I don't think he stuck around for his kids.

• 1:28:35Mark Normand?

  No chance.

• 1:28:36Sam Morril?

  There was this documentary, I saw him, and they were like, Babe Ruth did the Lord's work for all these children, and they're like, uh, he later walked out on his family, but he was a wonderful, he, he was an icon to these kids.

• 1:28:49Mark Normand?

  Right, right.

• 1:28:50Sam Morril?

  Not his kids, but, uh, but no, he was, uh, but he was, I guess, just an awesome teammate, I think.

• 1:28:56Mark Normand?

  Wow, and then there was, uh, Hootie Cobb, was, they said he was so racist, it bordered on dementia.

• 1:29:02Sam Morril?

  But I've also talked to people who say that's bullshit.

• 1:29:04Mark Normand?

  Oh, really?

• 1:29:04Sam Morril?

  I don't know if it's true or not, yeah, look it up, I mean, I don't know, but-

• 1:29:06Mark Normand?

  Alright, they say like, uh, there's books about his racism.

• 1:29:10Sam Morril?

  Yeah, let's pull it up, I don't know.

• 1:29:14Mark Normand?

  Was a racist subject.

• 1:29:15Sam Morril?

  It's a subject of, a lot of people say it's bullshit.

• 1:29:17Mark Normand?

  Oh, interesting. Hmm.

• 1:29:20Sam Morril?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:21Mark Normand?

  A apologetic bigot.

• 1:29:24Sam Morril?

  Mis-sight fabricated incidents, like, we don't know, that's my point.

• 1:29:27Mark Normand?

  That's a weird thing. Most people are like, he was eight feet tall. They're like, this guy was super racist. That's a weird fabrication.

• 1:29:35Sam Morril?

  I mean, it is crazy that there were no, it's crazy to think there were no black people or Hispanics or anything in baseball at this time.

• 1:29:44Mark Normand?

  I know. That's gotta be weird to be a Dominican kid in the 40s or whatever that is, and you're just incredibly good, and you're just like, well, I guess this is where it ends.

• 1:29:54Sam Morril?

  Well, they had the Negro League, but it was bullshit. I mean, you know, but it was just, it was bullshit. I mean, they didn't get paid well, and it was, uh... Yeah, and now they finally allowed those stats to be in the Hall of Fame or whatever. But, uh...

• 1:30:10Mark Normand?

  That's gotta change some things.

• 1:30:12Sam Morril?

  But, no, it's fucking, I mean, I, I love the Jackie Robinson movie with Chadwick Boseman. I thought it was awesome.

• 1:30:18Mark Normand?

  Forty-three?

• 1:30:19Sam Morril?

  Forty-two.

• 1:30:19Mark Normand?

  Forty-two.

• 1:30:20Sam Morril?

  I thought it was really good.

• 1:30:21Mark Normand?

  Yeah. I never saw it, actually.

• 1:30:23Sam Morril?

  It's just like, he's just a great actor.

• 1:30:25Mark Normand?

  Yeah, he's great.

• 1:30:26Sam Morril?

  Harrison Ford as a coach too, it's fun, man.

• 1:30:28Mark Normand?

  And I love that old Americana, 40s, baseball, great stuff.

• 1:30:32Sam Morril?

  It's, it's a fun sports movie. I thought it was, I thought it was well done, man.

• 1:30:35Mark Normand?

  Alright.

• 1:30:36Sam Morril?

  I love baseball movies too.

• 1:30:37Mark Normand?

  I do too.

• 1:30:38Sam Morril?

  That's like, of any sport, those are, I think, the best movies.

• 1:30:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah, why is that, you think?

• 1:30:42Sam Morril?

  Cause there's a lot of personalities, you know, like, I mean, boxing movies are great too, obviously, there's so many classics.

• 1:30:47Mark Normand?

  They're not funny.

• 1:30:48Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I mean, baseball's like, you have a lot of clubhouse personalities, and you have a lot, like, I like even, even the bad ba, I even like, like, Mr. 3000, which is...

• 1:30:55Mark Normand?

  Oh, sure.

• 1:30:56Sam Morril?

  Not a great movie, but Bernie Mac's so fucking good in it.

• 1:30:58Mark Normand?

  He's always funny.

• 1:30:59Sam Morril?

  Uh, Major League's great.

• 1:31:01Mark Normand?

  Major League's amazing. I've seen, Moneyball is really a great movie. I've seen League of Their Own eleven times.

• 1:31:08Sam Morril?

  It's classic.

• 1:31:08Mark Normand?

  Tom Hanks is so good.

• 1:31:09Sam Morril?

  Moneyball's so factually inaccurate, but it doesn't matter.

• 1:31:11Mark Normand?

  Oh, is that right?

• 1:31:12Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I mean, it's like...

• 1:31:13Mark Normand?

  Oh, no, I bought it.

• 1:31:14Sam Morril?

  They had like, they, they omit that they had like, three fucking stud pitchers.

• 1:31:18Mark Normand?

  Uh, why would they do that? We could, you know, it's like, we could all look this up.

• 1:31:22Sam Morril?

  The underdog story, I don't know, but, uh, 61's are great.

• 1:31:27Sam Morril?

  The Billy Crystal one with, uh, Thomas Jane and.

• 1:31:29Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, the natural is a classic, oh, Sandlot.

• 1:31:33Sam Morril?

  Fucking Sandlot, dude.

• 1:31:34Mark Normand?

  Great.

• 1:31:35Sam Morril?

  Bad News Bears is my fave.

• 1:31:37Mark Normand?

  Oh, that's a great, seeing a little white kid say the end word in like a comedy is wild. I watched on a plane once, I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

• 1:31:46Sam Morril?

  The, the main character who you're rooting for is just drunk driving pulling up to the.

• 1:31:50Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:51Sam Morril?

  I mean, the seventies were a different time, man.

• 1:31:53Mark Normand?

  Totally, totally, and they're saying like all these things to the guys, like to the other, like the one tough kid who's like, I'm not having to play with this faggot. And he's like, right there.

• 1:32:02Sam Morril?

  I know, it's crazy.

• 1:32:03Mark Normand?

  It's crazy.

• 1:32:04Sam Morril?

  Something about kids doing it, though, that makes it like.

• 1:32:07Mark Normand?

  Oh, hilarious.

• 1:32:08Sam Morril?

  It's like, dude.

• 1:32:09Mark Normand?

  Yes.

• 1:32:09Sam Morril?

  That movie is so fucking good, and then, uh, I love, I love to spoiler if you haven't seen it, but I love that they don't win in the end.

• 1:32:16Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:17Sam Morril?

  I love that they almost win, they don't win, and then the little kid goes, you can take that trophy and stick it up your ass, and they all cheer. It's fucking great, I mean, cause I love that the fucking, I don't know, I love that the. It's not corny, it's like, yeah, they wouldn't win, but they're still having fun and they're gonna play, I mean, it's great, and Tatum O'Neil's an incredible child actor.

• 1:32:37Mark Normand?

  Incredible.

• 1:32:37Sam Morril?

  Such a good fucking movie.

• 1:32:39Mark Normand?

  And they remade it with Keanu, which I thought was strange. Uh, oh, no, I'm sorry, Billy Bob, Billy Bob, yeah.

• 1:32:46Sam Morril?

  Weird to remake classics.

• 1:32:48Mark Normand?

  Cause you can't go hard anymore, so you're kinda like, why would you remake it?

• 1:32:52Sam Morril?

  But he is tailor made for that type of dude, like, that's what Bad Santa is.

• 1:32:55Mark Normand?

  That's a great casting.

• 1:32:57Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I mean, he like. Like Bad Santa, that's like a, you're threading a needle there of like.

• 1:33:01Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:33:03Sam Morril?

  Also strangely likeable.

• 1:33:05Mark Normand?

  Yes, yes.

• 1:33:06Sam Morril?

  He takes it like right to the edge, where you're like, this guy's a fucking asshole. And then he's still kinda, it's so hard to stick the land in that he's so, he's so good at that.

• 1:33:14Mark Normand?

  Then there's the weird subplot that he loves anal.

• 1:33:17Sam Morril?

  I love that, I love that.

• 1:33:20Mark Normand?

  I know, it's great.

• 1:33:21Sam Morril?

  It's just, they're just having, dude, and fucking Bernie Mac and John Ritter in that movie, it's crazy.

• 1:33:25Mark Normand?

  And the, the midget guy's great, too. So fun, and the woman from, uh, Gilmore Girls.

• 1:33:30Sam Morril?

  Yeah, she's great in it.

• 1:33:31Mark Normand?

  Female, yeah, she's awesome, Laura Graham.

• 1:33:33Sam Morril?

  You need that like likeable character when he's this fucking monster, but.

• 1:33:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah, oh, look at the kid now, growing up, Brett Kelly, he came into a man.

• 1:33:41Sam Morril?

  Oh, my god, he grew into a person, look at that, yeah, that, that movie is like, that's a holiday class, I'm a sucker for a Christmas movie, dude.

• 1:33:48Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah, that's coming from you, that's a lot. But yeah, that's nice.

• 1:33:52Sam Morril?

  I, I mean, how do you not love a Christmas?

• 1:33:55Mark Normand?

  Oh, they're great. Jingle All the Way, A Christmas Story.

• 1:33:58Sam Morril?

  I fucking love Jingle All the Way.

• 1:33:58Mark Normand?

  I do too. Uh, even the, the Tim Allen one is great. With the Mr. Claw, whatever it's called.

• 1:34:03Sam Morril?

  I don't remember that. I most, I was a kid.

• 1:34:05Mark Normand?

  Oh, it's fun.

• 1:34:06Sam Morril?

  I like, uh, It's a Wonderful Life is fucking epic.

• 1:34:08Mark Normand?

  Yeah, it's great, great.

• 1:34:09Sam Morril?

  Can't, you can't not love that movie.

• 1:34:12Mark Normand?

  I know.

• 1:34:13Sam Morril?

  There's something about, I mean, I don't know. A good classic, oh, Night Before Christmas.

• 1:34:19Mark Normand?

  Nightmare, incredible, incredible movie. Christmas Vacation, of course, Home Alone.

• 1:34:22Sam Morril?

  Home Alone.

• 1:34:23Mark Normand?

  Yeah, these are all gold. Scrooged. Love Actually is a classic.

• 1:34:28Sam Morril?

  Is it? Is Love Actually a classic?

• 1:34:29Mark Normand?

  Oh, I watch it every year.

• 1:34:31Sam Morril?

  It's a fucking chick flick.

• 1:34:32Mark Normand?

  It is, but it's, yeah, Hugh Grant is fun. It's got the, the-

• 1:34:36Sam Morril?

  It's such a chick flick, though.

• 1:34:37Mark Normand?

  The guy, the, the, the pop star guy in it, who's like a piece of shit heroin addict who's trying to make a buck is fun.

• 1:34:43Sam Morril?

  Oh, yeah, the older guy?

• 1:34:45Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:45Sam Morril?

  Bill Nye?

• 1:34:46Mark Normand?

  Yeah, yeah, skinny blonde guy.

• 1:34:48Sam Morril?

  Yeah, I don't like that. I'm not a fan of that one, though.

• 1:34:50Mark Normand?

  Oh, what about Die Hard?

• 1:34:52Sam Morril?

  I love Die Hard, but it's not, is it a Christmas movie?

• 1:34:54Mark Normand?

  I know, I hate when people, it's a fucking action flick around Christmas.

• 1:34:58Sam Morril?

  Yeah, you can watch it, uh, you could watch it on Christmas, but you could fucking watch it today.

• 1:35:03Mark Normand?

  Underrated movie Christmas, Klaus. It's an animated movie. It's incredible.

• 1:35:07Sam Morril?

  Never heard of it.

• 1:35:07Mark Normand?

  It's incredible. It's like one of the best movies I've seen, but no one talks about it because it's animated.

• 1:35:13Sam Morril?

  Wait, what is this shit?

• 1:35:14Mark Normand?

  It's a-

• 1:35:14Sam Morril?

  Damn, look at those reviews.

• 1:35:16Mark Normand?

  Look at that. It's fucking incredible. It's well-written. It's, it's a whole new spin on Christmas.

• 1:35:21Sam Morril?

  What the hell, what the hell, but, Norm?

• 1:35:23Mark Normand?

  Norm's in it, Schwartzman, Rashida, Cusack. I mean, it's crazy.

• 1:35:27Sam Morril?

  What, yeah, what, what made you watch this? Norm?

• 1:35:29Mark Normand?

  No, I was, uh, at the in-laws for Christmas and we needed a movie. We'd all seen everything. And the kids wanted to watch this and I was like, oh God, I better hit the eggnog. This is gonna be brutal.

• 1:35:39Sam Morril?

  Cut to you crying?

• 1:35:40Mark Normand?

  Yeah, exactly. I'm crying. I'm wiping tears away, drunk, and loved it. It's really smart.

• 1:35:48Sam Morril?

  Alright, fuck it.

• 1:35:49Mark Normand?

  I'm telling you.

• 1:35:50Sam Morril?

  I'll save it for the holidays.

• 1:35:51Mark Normand?

  Save it. It's a killer movie. It's really well thought out. It's really clever.

• 1:35:57Sam Morril?

  Look at that. Alright, fuck it. On Netflix, too.

• 1:35:59Mark Normand?

  It's a banger. Look at that. Five stars, 95%.

• 1:36:03Sam Morril?

  Well, fuck it, man. I'm gonna save it for the holidays. Let's plug some dates.

• 1:36:06Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah. I'm all over the place.

• 1:36:08Sam Morril?

  I got really nothing still. I'm adding, as I said, the...

• 1:36:12Mark Normand?

  Well, you're going to Europe.

• 1:36:14Sam Morril?

  Yeah, but I'm fucking, I'm chilling. I'm gonna add some stuff. But I wanna build up a good act before I do it, you know? I wanna have...

• 1:36:22Sam Morril?

  You know? I wanna have a solid something.

• 1:36:26Mark Normand?

  Sure, yeah.

• 1:36:27Sam Morril?

  I'm still dicking around at the cellar trying to crack it.

• 1:36:30Mark Normand?

  Yeah, please, don't do what I did at the vets. I mean, I should've given those people their money back. It was bad. It was really...

• 1:36:37Sam Morril?

  Really?

• 1:36:37Mark Normand?

  Yeah, I mean, I got a couple DMs after, like, "That was a valiant effort, man. You know, we drove two hours to see you and you really talked a lot about Iran." Sounds like, I know, I was out of stuff.

• 1:36:48Sam Morril?

  Valiant effort's rough.

• 1:36:49Mark Normand?

  Rough, rough. I tried.

• 1:36:52Sam Morril?

  Damn, dude.

• 1:36:53Mark Normand?

  Alright, what do you got? LA here, Verona?

• 1:36:56Sam Morril?

  Is this me? Oh, let me find the rest. Hold on.

• 1:37:00Sam Morril?

  I got, uh...

• 1:37:03Sam Morril?

  A few more, yeah. What do we have? Yeah, Los Angeles, May 7th, at the United Theater with Joe List, Jordan Jensen, Rachel Feinstein. Gonna be a really fun show. Verona, New York, uh, at the Turning Stone Casino, June 6th. And Lisbon, Portugal, August 30th, but I'm also adding some, uh... Hold on, let me tell you what I'm adding right here. I think I said...

• 1:37:25Sam Morril?

  Where is it?

• 1:37:32Sam Morril?

  I have Athens, Croatia, Budapest, uh, Vienna, Austria.

• 1:37:38Mark Normand?

  Wow.

• 1:37:39Sam Morril?

  Warsaw. I'm pumped for Warsaw.

• 1:37:42Mark Normand?

  Yeah, Poland's awesome.

• 1:37:43Sam Morril?

  Helsinki, Stockholm.

• 1:37:46Sam Morril?

  Copenhagen, I might be missing one, but you go ahead, Mark. Sorry. Yeah, I should have had that ready.

• 1:37:51Mark Normand?

  All good. Hey, I'm in Chattanooga at the Walker Theater. It's a great room. Raleigh, Good Nights Comedy Club. I'll be at the Netflix Fest as well in LA. Can't wait for that. Ontario at the Casino Rama. Then I'm in Nuvo Brunswick at the Molson Canadian Center. Spokane, Washington, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Irvine, California. That's fun. That's a big room. Tempe, Arizona, Royal Oak, Michigan, and Cleveland, Seattle, Tampa, San Fran, Houston, Nashville. All right, Pittsburgh. We got it. Thank you, folks. Thank you for the puppets.

• 1:38:35Sam Morril?

  This is hilarious.

• 1:38:36Mark Normand?

  We'll do the ads with the puppets. And yeah, we'll see you all in hell. Queef it up. Thanks, gang.

• 1:38:41Sam Morril?

  Buy some Bodega Cat Whiskey at bodeacatwhiskey.com. If you want it in your liquor store or your bar, DM Bodega Cat Whiskey on Instagram. Matt Herman will get on it for you. And yeah, hopefully we're making some moves there. It looks like we got into some new bars.

• 1:38:54Mark Normand?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:38:55Sam Morril?

  Keep your eyes open for it.

• 1:38:56Mark Normand?

  New bars and a lot of clubs. Thanks, gang.

• 1:38:59Sam Morril?

  Oh, and a special shout out to Bat City in Austin, Texas, serving Bodega Cat Whiskey. So check that one out.

• 1:39:05Mark Normand?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:06Sam Morril?

  And we're popping in a bunch of new spots as well, so.

• 1:39:08Mark Normand?

  Thank you, Bat City.

• 1:39:09Sam Morril?

  Coming soon.

• 1:39:56Speaker 07

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