"Marc Maron"

Zip your hair on, it’s Marc Maron. The dark side of luxury problems, exciting medical stories, and the gift of yet another microphone. Get duct taped into position, it’s an all-new SmartLess.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Sean Hayes?

  This episode of Smartless is sponsored by Google Book. So this may not surprise you, I have a lot of thoughts in my head. And my dream is to just blurt them out and somehow get them down on paper, because my brain works way faster than my hands. That's where Google Book comes in. It's a whole new kind of laptop. No more typing, you just talk, and the Rambler feature cleans up your ums and uhs and all the times you change your mind. Basically, it turns messy thoughts into tidy text. Visit googlebook.com for details. Available in select countries and languages to 18-plus users. Check the responses for accuracy.

• 0:43Jason Bateman?

  Did you ever notice the best deals are just obvious? Like hotels.com. What do they do, you may ask? Hotels on the internet. And a lot of them, like hundreds of thousands. I don't know why I just turned into Sean Hayes. Plus, if you join for free, you can save up to 20% instantly with member prices. And you earn rewards every time you book. So, your next trip basically starts paying for itself. It's simple, and you get more out of every stay. Sign up for free and book today. Hotels.com, it's all in the name.

• 1:23Sean Hayes?

  The place you call home is important to you. So, it's important to Allstate. Because home is where you make all your memories. Things like inviting your friends over for game night and discovering that one of them takes charades way, way too seriously. It's these memories that make a house feel like home. If it's important to you, it's important to Allstate. Switch to Allstate, and you could save hundreds on home insurance today. Not available in every state. Potential savings vary, subject to terms and qualifications. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 1:59Sean Hayes?

  Sitting in traffic, huh? Watching an old lady with a walker make it further up the road than you have in the last 15 minutes? And of course, your gas tank is in the perfect spot between not a problem to stranded on the highway. Hit your booking point? Book with Southwest and enter airplane mode. Experience award-winning reliability, fly with the best crew in the sky, and never worry about change or cancellation fees. Now tell that old lady to slow down. Kids live around here. Southwest Airlines, enter airplane mode.

• 2:44Sean Hayes?

  I got a good dad joke for the day.

• 2:46Jason Bateman?

  You're gonna start us with a dad joke today instead of ending with a dad?

• 2:49Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, just for the cold open.

• 2:50Will Arnett?

  This is the, this is the beginning, okay?

• 2:51Jason Bateman?

  This is, okay?

• 2:52Sean Hayes?

  No?

• 2:53Jason Bateman?

  Format switch here, listener?

• 2:55Will Arnett?

  Let's hear it.

• 2:56Sean Hayes?

  Uh, how much room is needed for fungi to grow?

• 2:59Jason Bateman?

  Uh, boy, you tell me?

• 3:02Sean Hayes?

  As mushroom as possible.

• 3:04Jason Bateman?

  Oh, welcome!

• 3:26Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, Sean, you have any opening bits?

• 3:28Sean Hayes?

  I do. I do have something to share, what happened today.

• 3:31Jason Bateman?

  Consult your sheet.

• 3:32Sean Hayes?

  I have no sheets.

• 3:34Jason Bateman?

  Really?

• 3:35Sean Hayes?

  Um, I have no sheet.

• 3:36Jason Bateman?

  You give no sheet?

• 3:37Sean Hayes?

  I give no sheet.

• 3:38Jason Bateman?

  I don't give no sheet.

• 3:39Sean Hayes?

  But first of all, Jason, you are, well, I can't wait for you to come visit, but you are so lucky, Jason. Today in London and tomorrow, it's like...

• 3:48Will Arnett?

  The hottest.

• 3:49Sean Hayes?

  Not, no exaggeration, like 100 degrees.

• 3:51Jason Bateman?

  Right, and then the day I get there...

• 3:53Sean Hayes?

  And then they get there, it's 72.

• 3:54Jason Bateman?

  I literally just looked at that on the, on the way to this little podcast.

• 3:57Sean Hayes?

  You're so lucky.

• 3:58Will Arnett?

  Now, how many days are you, how many days are you guys, are you spending over there with Sean in, in London?

• 4:03Jason Bateman?

  Sean?

• 4:04Sean Hayes?

  Just three.

• 4:05Jason Bateman?

  Just three.

• 4:06Sean Hayes?

  I love that Jason doesn't even know.

• 4:07Will Arnett?

  I know.

• 4:08Jason Bateman?

  I go where I'm fucking told. In fact, I'm, I'm waiting for my wife to, uh, help give me, uh, notes on packing. Yeah, you know?

• 4:15Sean Hayes?

  Does she make you a list of what you should pack, like your 10?

• 4:18Jason Bateman?

  She tries, but her big, her big move always is to just kinda... Walk up behind me while I'm starting to pack and, and say pleasantly, hey, would you like some help? And I say, no, no, I'm set. Thank you. I got it. And then she'll just stand there and she'll watch me. I say, I don't need any help. No, no, I know. I'm just saying. And then she'll just start to like lob quote suggestions. And so she ends up packing and controlling.

• 4:41Will Arnett?

  What is she worried about, do you think? Is she worried that you're not gonna be, have the right thing for the right sitch?

• 4:47Jason Bateman?

  I don't think she's ever worried about anything. I think, I think just her happy place is having just kind of like a

• 4:53Will Arnett?

  Nosey.

• 4:53Jason Bateman?

  A hand on, on, on all things.

• 4:55Will Arnett?

  Sorry, hand on things.

• 4:56Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. You both know this better than I do. She talks to both of you more than she talks to me.

• 5:00Will Arnett?

  That's true. That's true.

• 5:01Sean Hayes?

  This is true.

• 5:02Will Arnett?

  I actually know more about your trip than you do.

• 5:05Jason Bateman?

  Yes. So, tell me, when am I leaving?

• 5:09Will Arnett?

  I don't know. I know you're, you're leaving to

• 5:11Jason Bateman?

  Tomorrow?

• 5:12Will Arnett?

  Tomorrow night. Yeah, tomorrow night.

• 5:13Sean Hayes?

  Tomorrow night.

• 5:14Will Arnett?

  Tomorrow.

• 5:15Sean Hayes?

  How do you feel about it, Jason? Do you get excited about traveling? Are you like, ugh?

• 5:18Jason Bateman?

  No, I can't stand it. I don't understand the concept of leaving the nest that you have

• 5:25Sean Hayes?

  Right.

• 5:26Jason Bateman?

  deliberately created with all your favorite things to the extent you can get them right around you and in the right spot.

• 5:34Sean Hayes?

  I'm super excited to see you too.

• 5:35Jason Bateman?

  I just don't, no, I mean, but like, the concept of leaving a place that you're comfortable to go to a place that's completely foreign to you, I get the whole cultural reach and

• 5:46Sean Hayes?

  Well, because there's nothing to do here.

• 5:47Jason Bateman?

  And expose yourself to other things. But yeah.

• 5:49Sean Hayes?

  I mean, there's, there's tons of stuff to do here. No, there's tons of stuff to do in London, but not in this house.

• 5:53Will Arnett?

  This is what feeds, this is what makes you, this is kind of should feed your brain and feed your soul and go to different places and see different things from, that's, look, I don't want to get into, but it's kind of the problem with America a little bit.

• 6:04Jason Bateman?

  Listen, East Hampton, tell us about what fucking

• 6:09Will Arnett?

  I go to Sag Harbor. I was there this morning.

• 6:11Sean Hayes?

  Can I, were you really?

• 6:14Will Arnett?

  I, yeah, I rode my bike to the hardware store. I, I fixed my bike.

• 6:17Jason Bateman?

  Wait, you rode your bike from East Hampton to Sag Harbor?

• 6:19Will Arnett?

  No, I did not. I didn't do that. It was too hot.

• 6:21Sean Hayes?

  That sounds fun though.

• 6:22Will Arnett?

  It was too hot. But I, I felt very chory today. Like I rode my bike into town. I talked to some police officers, said hi to them. They were dealing with an issue. Apparently there was a dog issue.

• 6:34Jason Bateman?

  Was the dog stuck in a tree?

• 6:36Will Arnett?

  No, like somebody complaining that somebody else had left their dog outside, but it was in a sunny area and was mad and called the East Hampton Police.

• 6:44Jason Bateman?

  There's not proper shade for this animal.

• 6:46Will Arnett?

  Yeah, and these cops were so diplomatic about it because they're just like, what are we dealing, what are we talking about? You know what I mean? So they were nice about it.

• 6:54Jason Bateman?

  What would that be like getting, getting, no, no, no shade, pun intended, being thrown on Hampton cops, but when you decide you want to be a police officer, what is that, like, you say, I want to be a police officer in the Hamptons? Because you love the town or because you just don't want, you don't want the heat? You don't want the nonsense? You don't want a lot of crime?

• 7:16Will Arnett?

  I think a lot of them grow, a lot of the officers I've talked to are local, like grew up here. And I gotta say, honestly, to a person, every one of them that I've ever talked to and met has been super, super nice and...

• 7:28Jason Bateman?

  That's not shocking.

• 7:29Will Arnett?

  Yeah, yeah, no, they've been really, really nice and they, yeah, and that's kind of the consensus. They're super responsive and imagine the personalities they have to deal with out here.

• 7:37Jason Bateman?

  Well, yeah, and they're trying to, they're trying to nab those little girls running lemonade stands that are skimming, right? They gotta watch out for them.

• 7:47Jason Bateman?

  Like, what, what's their beat?

• 7:48Will Arnett?

  Skimming. Their beat is, they do everything, you know, they deal with a lot of, unfortunately, there are a lot of issues that happen here. People come on vacation here, so a lot of people feel like no rules. A lot of people drink and drive, which is a terrible thing. It's my worst, honestly, kind of, if not to get too dark, but my, the thing I, I like, the sound I like the least is the sound of, obviously, an ambulance at night. And you'll hear it late at night because especially if it was summer way down the, you know, way at the end of the island and that you know that there's been some terrible accident. You read about it in the local paper the next day and it's just absolutely heartbreaking.

• 8:21Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, that's terrible.

• 8:22Will Arnett?

  Absolutely heartbreaking. It breaks my heart, so.

• 8:25Jason Bateman?

  It's such a small town, everybody knows everything.

• 8:27Will Arnett?

  Yeah, and, but also just like, you know, because people feel like, oh, well, I'm, I'm just gonna have four glasses of wine and get behind the wheel of my fucking Rolls.

• 8:37Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 8:39Will Arnett?

  You know, and it's sad. It's really, really sad, but also.

• 8:42Jason Bateman?

  Has there been festivities for the, uh, the Big Jaws anniversary out there? Isn't that where, where they were, where they supposedly shot the film?

• 8:48Sean Hayes?

  No, that was Martha's Vineyard though. Well, it's close though, right?

• 8:51Jason Bateman?

  Oh, right, right, right.

• 8:51Will Arnett?

  But I did see, I did see, uh, a couple of days ago, a whale breach about a hundred yards off, uh, the beach. It was unbelievable.

• 9:01Jason Bateman?

  Wait, does that mean jump up and slam down to a belly flop?

• 9:03Will Arnett?

  Yeah, like a mass, like just.

• 9:06Sean Hayes?

  Are you sure that wasn't, fill in the blank joke here?

• 9:10Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, what, what fat person you wanna take a run at, Sean?

• 9:12Will Arnett?

  Yeah, I mean, who?

• 9:14Jason Bateman?

  Go ahead. You can fill in the blank.

• 9:16Sean Hayes?

  No, God bless, no. Oh, God. Um, but I did have something.

• 9:20Will Arnett?

  Sean, you talk about breaching every time you have sloppy joe, don't you? You're always like, when you're making a run for it.

• 9:27Sean Hayes?

  I sure do.

• 9:27Will Arnett?

  We gotta breach!

• 9:32Sean Hayes?

  Wait, but I do have a really quick medical thing. Or do you want me to wait till later?

• 9:36Jason Bateman?

  No, give us some of your coffee chat stuff.

• 9:38Sean Hayes?

  So, so today, because I'm not feeling well, and so I woke with a sore throat, whatever, but, so I went to the, the doctor.

• 9:43Jason Bateman?

  Wait, maybe there's something wrong with your CPAP?

• 9:46Sean Hayes?

  No, I didn't bring it.

• 9:47Jason Bateman?

  What?

• 9:47Sean Hayes?

  I didn't bring my CPAP.

• 9:49Jason Bateman?

  Truly?

• 9:49Sean Hayes?

  Truly.

• 9:50Jason Bateman?

  Wait, I understand. Hold, hold on a second. Don't you need?

• 9:52Sean Hayes?

  Cause I'm gonna sleep on my side or I sleep up now. I don't wanna, I can't deal with it.

• 9:56Will Arnett?

  And what, do you just get like duct taped into position?

• 10:01Jason Bateman?

  Hey, but wait, I've seen a commercial for a guy, he's in a, he's in a CPAP.

• 10:06Will Arnett?

  Let's lock him up.

• 10:10Jason Bateman?

  It's downtime. There's, yeah, there's a guy that's in like a circle, like a, like a support group for CPAP dudes, and they're all wearing different flavors of CPAPs, and they come to him.

• 10:19Sean Hayes?

  What are you talking about?

• 10:19Jason Bateman?

  And he's just got a clicker. He's got a clicker.

• 10:22Will Arnett?

  Is yours flavored?

• 10:23Jason Bateman?

  He's just got a clicker in his hand, and he doesn't have to wear the hose. And so what is that? Have you looked into that?

• 10:28Sean Hayes?

  No, I'm not, I don't, I have no idea what you just said.

• 10:31Jason Bateman?

  Dude, dude, looks pretty great, and you can avoid the duct tape.

• 10:36Sean Hayes?

  Anyway.

• 10:36Will Arnett?

  I like the idea of showing that you have a flavor, like a watermelon flavor. You know what I mean? Just like a little mist.

• 10:40Sean Hayes?

  Well, that would be, yeah, that would be, that would make it better. Anyway.

• 10:44Jason Bateman?

  Anyway, so.

• 10:44Sean Hayes?

  My voice is.

• 10:45Will Arnett?

  So you're sick.

• 10:47Sean Hayes?

  So I go to this doctor at this place and that was recommended. She was fantastic. And she, so I go in and I've never, it must be an English thing. I go and she's like, okay, take your clothes off. And Scotty's sitting there with me. And I was like, sorry? And she goes, well, I gotta check, I gotta check you out. And I was like.

• 11:01Jason Bateman?

  Wait, sorry, this is.

• 11:02Sean Hayes?

  You want me to just take my shirt off?

• 11:03Jason Bateman?

  This is for CPAPing?

• 11:04Sean Hayes?

  No, this is just, I'm, I have a sore throat.

• 11:06Will Arnett?

  Sore throat.

• 11:07Sean Hayes?

  This is just like, yeah. She just wants to check you out.

• 11:08Jason Bateman?

  Sore throat after one night, you go to the doctor?

• 11:10Will Arnett?

  Well, because they're gonna go in the other way to make sure that it's not, that it doesn't go. They gotta make sure both ends are.

• 11:19Jason Bateman?

  Does this person have an office or is it something with wheels?

• 11:25Will Arnett?

  This is in the park? Sorry, one more time.

• 11:30Sean Hayes?

  Carry on. It's next to the ice cream truck. So, uh, so I go in there and she needed to check me out because I have a new patient, right? In England, right? And she was great. So I go in there, she asks me to take, I go, you want me to take my shirt off? She's like, yeah. And I go, my pants too? She goes, yeah. So I was like, this is so weird. And so I lay down flat.

• 11:47Will Arnett?

  Luckily, it's just a drawstring at all times.

• 11:53Sean Hayes?

  So I lay down. And she's, you know, she's the tap on the thing and the tap on the chest and everything. She's checking my thing.

• 11:58Jason Bateman?

  And then she goes. She's fully clothed right now, right?

• 12:00Sean Hayes?

  She's totally fully clothed. She lifts up my underwear and just goes, all right, I just need a check on testicles. And she grabs my, my balls.

• 12:08Jason Bateman?

  And I was like. Under your underwear? She doesn't read.

• 12:10Sean Hayes?

  Yes, she grabs them with her bare hands. And I was like.

• 12:12Will Arnett?

  Wow.

• 12:13Sean Hayes?

  What?

• 12:14Will Arnett?

  Was she able to see through the dust?

• 12:17Jason Bateman?

  Did she snap a glove on at least?

• 12:20Sean Hayes?

  I don't remember. I think she had a glove on.

• 12:21Jason Bateman?

  You went into a blackout.

• 12:23Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I did. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it.

• 12:26Jason Bateman?

  And so what was the prognosis?

• 12:27Sean Hayes?

  No, everything's fine. I'm just, I'm not in a bad.

• 12:33Jason Bateman?

  Oh, Scotty, heartbroken.

• 12:36Sean Hayes?

  I'm straight. Yeah, prognosis.

• 12:39Jason Bateman?

  So, just a sore throat, you'll be fine?

• 12:41Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I'm on antibiotics now.

• 12:43Jason Bateman?

  I mean...

• 12:44Will Arnett?

  Wow.

• 12:45Jason Bateman?

  Okay.

• 12:45Sean Hayes?

  What, did you have to feel my balls?

• 12:46Jason Bateman?

  Good story.

• 12:47Sean Hayes?

  Anyway, go ahead.

• 12:50Sean Hayes?

  I just thought that was really odd, like I've never had a doctor do that.

• 12:54Will Arnett?

  Hey Jay, listen, you got something to look forward to tomorrow night. You're gonna get a sore throat when you get to London.

• 12:58Sean Hayes?

  I'll be doctor, I'll play the doctor.

• 13:01Will Arnett?

  Oh, you know the drill now, so don't be surprised.

• 13:06Jason Bateman?

  Did you get like a bulk visit type of thing? Is there a punch card that I can use one of those? You know, where your free visits?

• 13:12Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I'm gradually going tomorrow again.

• 13:14Jason Bateman?

  All right. Guys, today, our guest...

• 13:18Sean Hayes?

  Oh, it's Chase. His guest.

• 13:19Jason Bateman?

  Yes, sir. Today, our guest is an actor, a comedian, a radio host, and a pioneer in podcasting. In fact, without him, we wouldn't be here. Having released over 1,600 episodes, 600 million downloads during a 16-year run, he has decided to put it to rest and move it on to the next.

• 13:37Will Arnett?

  WTF.

• 13:38Jason Bateman?

  Here to tell us how he did it and hopefully how we can suck a little bit less is the goat himself, Mr. Will?

• 13:44Will Arnett?

  Mark Maron.

• 13:45Sean Hayes?

  Mark Maron.

• 13:46Jason Bateman?

  Please, Mark, reveal yourself.

• 13:50Jason Bateman?

  So, we didn't need to send you a microphone, is that right?

• 13:52Will Arnett?

  When you said, when you said we wouldn't be here without, I was immediately, I was like, it's Mark Maron.

• 13:56Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, it's not Dax Shepard, although we appreciate...

• 13:59Sean Hayes?

  You mean Dax Shepard Maron?

• 14:01Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. Wait, you're the dad? We found him.

• 14:05Sean Hayes?

  On some level, I'm the dad, yeah.

• 14:07Will Arnett?

  Yeah, you are the dad, and the goat.

• 14:09Sean Hayes?

  Yes, yeah.

• 14:10Jason Bateman?

  This is awesome. This is real awesome.

• 14:12Sean Hayes?

  I'm using my own microphone, but thank you for sending me the one I'll never use.

• 14:15Jason Bateman?

  Did we really send you one?

• 14:17Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, they sent me one. They were panicked, I guess. They were like, no, no, no. Mark doesn't seem to know what he's doing. Well, they heard you were done with your podcast, so they sent him that. So, they sent me one of these.

• 14:27Will Arnett?

  Of all people.

• 14:28Sean Hayes?

  Which I'll give to another podcaster.

• 14:29Jason Bateman?

  Bennett, Rob, turn your mics on. What are you doing? Why are you sending a microphone to Mark Maron?

• 14:34Will Arnett?

  We were given misinformation. It's like sending a hockey stick to Wayne Gretzky, like, what are you doing?

• 14:40Sean Hayes?

  When I got it, I was like, are you fucking kidding me? What am I gonna...

• 14:44Jason Bateman?

  You know what it is? It's our start gift.

• 14:47Speaker 03

  I appreciate it. We used to send them out during covid, but we weren't as generous. We put them in a self, you know, you could send it back to us when you were done using.

• 14:57Will Arnett?

  Sure. Well, we're just silly over here.

• 15:00Speaker 03

  Well, that's it. It's been great. I was listening to the opening. It's, you know, exploring the dark side of luxury problems.

• 15:05Jason Bateman?

  Oh, yeah. Super relatable. That's what we are.

• 15:09Will Arnett?

  We try to stay as unrelatable as possible, and we're, I think we're doing swimmingly.

• 15:14Speaker 03

  Exciting medical story. I enjoyed that. It reminded me of like when I was coming up as a comic, you always had to do morning radio. And you'd be sitting there, you know, waiting for a break before you'd go in with this morning crew, just figuring out a way in, you know, hearing what they're talking about and just panicking. Like, I got a story on that. I'm gonna start with that.

• 15:34Jason Bateman?

  That is the thing that I worry about with this, with this silly thing, whatever we're fucking doing, is that it's too... But it's like, it's like Morning Zoo or whatever, like whack, even when we get into the questions and the stuff like, I don't want to be like a guy who's like obnoxious and always just waiting for the answer that I can make fun of.

• 15:52Speaker 03

  That ship has sailed.

• 15:53Will Arnett?

  Sorry, buddy.

• 15:54Jason Bateman?

  It's supposed to be a conversation, not a fucking Morning Zoo.

• 15:57Speaker 03

  I think that's what, you know, the medium has sort of birthed, you know, just, you know, a hundred thousand mediocre afternoon drive time radio hosts. I mean,

• 16:06Jason Bateman?

  Right, it's true.

• 16:07Speaker 03

  Anytime I scroll on my phone on Instagram reels, it's like three or four white guys talking about the last time they shit their pants as adults.

• 16:15Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah. I listen to that. I listen to that.

• 16:18Will Arnett?

  It's so true!

• 16:21Jason Bateman?

  In fact, I think I've told that story, maybe. It's either on yours or on Dax's. But wait, talk to us about that. Like, can you, can you, can you reflect? And we'll probably ask you a few times during this about that. Like, what you started is, is obviously, it's, it's an enormous business and, and, and path to employment for a lot of folks nowadays, so we collectively can thank you for that. But how do you feel that it's, are you proud of this sort of industry that you've kind of created?

• 16:54Will Arnett?

  Or is there blood on your hands?

• 16:55Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 16:56Speaker 03

  I don't think... Well, you know, it's, once you create the bomb, you know, you kind of wash your hands of it.

• 17:03Will Arnett?

  You're Oppenheimer, man. You're Robert Oppenheimer, you know what I mean?

• 17:06Jason Bateman?

  But it's morphed away from something that was really, you know, this one hour conversation, or longer. That, I mean, obviously Rogan still does that, Dax does it, but it's-

• 17:15Speaker 03

  Oh, they do like three hours, Jesus. I don't know who's watching that shit.

• 17:18Jason Bateman?

  It's hard to do that really well.

• 17:20Speaker 03

  Well-

• 17:21Jason Bateman?

  Of course Howard.

• 17:22Speaker 03

  I don't think that there was a, a single way to do this. The only thing that I know in terms of starting it the way I did, I did it specifically, the only way really I knew how and the way that, you know, my emotions guided me to do it. And when we started it, there was no real podcast medium. There was a few of them around. It had been around a while. And the way I did it, the way it evolved, was just my style and, and kind of this idea of candid, authentic, vulnerable interviews. You know, I think it created a zone through which some people could do that. But I mean, it got more interesting when people were doing, you know, full-scale radio shows, or crime shows, or multi-miked, you know, guys. It was never, there was never a format other than a mic.

• 18:06Speaker 03

  So, because I did it the way I did it, even when you guys, or at least two of you, sorry Sean, I'm sorry.

• 18:13Sean Hayes?

  Joint, just pile on.

• 18:16Speaker 03

  But you know, when people were coming to my house, it was like, you know, where am I? What neighborhood is this? What are we doing? Is there a camera? And it was really, there was nothing binding me to any sort of style or context. But I think because of, the reason my, my timing was good cosmically for once in my life, that it took off. So this was one way to do it. And I think if anything, my particular way of doing it made a lot of people think, you know, like if that idiot can do it, you know, I'm getting mics. So, so there was that.

• 18:47Will Arnett?

  But, but also you have to, well, first of all, you brought up, I mean, you, you- You're a comic and you've been a comic for a long time. You've been doing it, you know, at the highest level for a long time. So you know what you're doing. You're a funny dude and you have to be able to move it along. We're lucky. It took three of us to do what you did by yourself.

• 19:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly. You know? I guess, but the one thing that I was excited about was I wasn't beholden to that. You know, I'd done some time on radio and once I learned how to talk on a mic by myself for long periods of time, that was a pretty big breakthrough. So that kind of served me in the podcast realm. But a lot of my monologues are not really funny. They're pretty honest and they're pretty visceral and they are directly related to my life and it gets deeper sometimes than others. But I wasn't beholden to comedy. So what, for me, what it really became was engaging with a person without a real plan to see if we could get a conversation going and figure out where we met in terms of our issues, our problems, our lives and whatnot. So what I was really sort of hoping for was connection.

• 19:47Speaker 03

  And that's really what I think made what I do kind of different.

• 19:51Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 19:52Speaker 03

  That there is no sense of...

• 19:53Will Arnett?

  But you did so many firsts. I remember a couple of things that stick out that I remember. I remember hearing, before I listened, hearing that you got Obama on was really huge. I remember everybody was freaking out about it. Like, that was the first time somebody had done something like that, gotten a president to come on the thing. And then you did the live shows too, of which I did one of them actually in Brooklyn at the Bell.

• 20:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:14Will Arnett?

  As well, in addition to the going to your house. And that was, like, I was like, I remember you getting the call saying, like, Mark's doing this thing at the Bell, this live in the pie. I was like, what could that be?

• 20:26Speaker 03

  Oh, it was different.

• 20:27Will Arnett?

  Yeah, and it was different. It was cool. I was like, oh, okay.

• 20:30Speaker 03

  But the reason for that really was, you know, Obama was later, but the live ones, there was no way to make money doing this, you know, at the beginning. There was literally no way. I mean, advertisers weren't forthcoming. You know, we were using kind of old terrestrial radio middlemen to get like sex toy ads and audible. Yeah, our first ads were like Adam and Eve. You know, you'd get a free package of god knows what. And we had this other advertiser from an older show we did, Just Coffee. But there was no way to generate income. Unless you wanted to sort of do a, you know, kind of pay to listen kind of thing, but then you wouldn't build an audience. So the live shows were things we did separately and we created a different website. So people would pay for them. There's no way to make money.

• 21:12Speaker 03

  So the live shows were, were kind of a, an income generating thing. I mean, at the beginning of this thing, in my old house, we were just doing a tiered donation thing. This is before, uh,

• 21:22Will Arnett?

  Wow.

• 21:22Speaker 03

  You know, WhatsApp platform where everyone, you know, you, you get paid on, uh,

• 21:27Will Arnett?

  GoFundMeers?

• 21:28Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, well, not GoFundMe, the other one where you have a, a site where people can pay, whatever.

• 21:33Will Arnett?

  Uh, um.

• 21:34Speaker 03

  Everyone has them.

• 21:35Will Arnett?

  Patreon, OnlyFans?

• 21:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, Patreon. So there was no Patreon.

• 21:38Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 21:39Speaker 03

  So at the beginning, we just offered tiered donations and you, you gave a certain amount of money. I'd send you a T-shirt and some stickers. And my house was filled with a thousand envelopes, you know, stuffing T-shirts, because there's no way to make money.

• 21:49Jason Bateman?

  Oh my God, I remember that. I remember your assistant there working at a table, just fucking stuffing envelopes.

• 21:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, that's right. That's right. It was, it was crazy. But the Obama thing, that was a whole other thing, but I think-

• 22:01Will Arnett?

  I mean, that was crazy.

• 22:02Speaker 03

  In terms of the medium, that kind of put it on the map. It, it kind of, uh,

• 22:07Jason Bateman?

  And how did that come about?

• 22:08Will Arnett?

  Yeah, validated, legitimized it.

• 22:10Jason Bateman?

  And that was a result of your numbers being such that his team took notice of you and, and suggested, recommended to him that this might be a good spot for him to hit?

• 22:21Speaker 03

  I don't know if it was numbers per se as much as it was profile. And I think that really it came down to then that there was a fan in the Oval Office. I mean, an intern, I don't know who it was.

• 22:30Jason Bateman?

  Got it.

• 22:30Will Arnett?

  Right.

• 22:31Speaker 03

  Uh, but they, they thought it would be good. It was his, it was his last year, second term. You know, he was, he didn't want to be a, a lame duck, I don't think. And, you know, he thought it would be, or, or someone in his world thought it would be a good look to, to kind of do this. And I, I remember when my producer Brendan McDonald was like, uh, Obama wants to come on. And I'm like, uh, so what? I'm going to, I'm going to the White House? And he said, no, he's coming to Highland Park. I'm like, that's fucking crazy.

• 22:58Will Arnett?

  Walk, walk us through that part. I, I, I always wanted to know that, like this, because we had the opportunity of doing with, with, with Biden.

• 23:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:05Will Arnett?

  But what was that like? But we had, we went to him and we went, you know, went through all the protocols and stuff.

• 23:09Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 23:09Will Arnett?

  What was that like, them coming to your neighborhood, to your house with the president?

• 23:13Speaker 03

  Completely unsecured. It was crazy. Well, well, you know, at first, you know, I had a trip planned and I rarely take vacations. So I told my producer, I'm like, I don't know, you know, I'm supposed to go to Hawaii. He goes, no, you're not going anywhere. So.

• 23:28Speaker 03

  Well, the thing was, you know, the first things we had to think about was the way we do the show, which is not a political show. I mean, I can do that, but we had, we had, both of us had come out of Air America, and from the beginning of the podcast, we were like, we're not doing a political show because I don't want to carry that water. You can't really do politics with your own voice because you'll eventually end up just carrying whatever load it is of talking points for whatever party you're affiliated with. But, but the thing was, is I like, we got to make it a personal interview. You know, he did go to college down the street, at least for a couple of years. He knows the neighborhood. And we had to really structure it more than we do.

• 24:03Jason Bateman?

  Wait, which college did he go to around Highland Park?

• 24:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, at Occidental.

• 24:06Jason Bateman?

  Oh, right.

• 24:07Speaker 03

  So, you know, we, we had to.

• 24:08Will Arnett?

  Oh, so not on purpose?

• 24:09Speaker 03

  No, we had to structure it in a way.

• 24:12Will Arnett?

  That was for Sean. That was for Sean. Occidental.

• 24:14Jason Bateman?

  Sean loves that.

• 24:14Will Arnett?

  Sorry, Mark. Low hanging fruit is still fruit for me. I'm so sorry.

• 24:18Jason Bateman?

  Throw the baby some candy every once in a while.

• 24:22Sean Hayes?

  We'll be right back.

• 24:26Sean Hayes?

  Instagram teen accounts have automatic protections on by default. Built-in content settings for the content teens can see, contact limits for who can contact them, and time management tools like daily time limits and sleep mode. Teens are automatically placed into teen accounts, and teens under 16 will need a parent's permission to change any of these settings to be less strict. Instagram will continue adding built-in safety features to help create age-appropriate experiences. Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at instagram.com/teenaccounts.

• 25:09Sean Hayes?

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• 25:54Sean Hayes?

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• 27:35Speaker 03

  And now, back to the show.

• 27:38Will Arnett?

  So they what, they come two weeks before and they, they strip search you?

• 27:41Speaker 03

  Well, here's what happened. So, I end up going to Hawaii and, and reading his book. And in the meantime, Brendan, who is in Brooklyn generally, flew out to, to meet the Secret Service to create a perimeter. And so you get all these Secret Service guys at the house and apparently, you know, Brendan was in the garage and he had a couple of guys on the roof jumping on it to figure out whether they could, you know, post guys up there. And Brendan was like, "No, no, it's, it's coming down."

• 28:08Will Arnett?

  Wow.

• 28:09Speaker 03

  So, I had to ask my retired neighbor if we could put snipers on his roof and it was like the greatest thing that ever happened to him. He was thrilled to be involved. But, you know, the sort of the day of, they, the one thing that was scary is they put some sort of weird humming black box in the one spare bedroom. That was a small house, if you remember. It was like, less than a thousand square feet with one toilet.

• 28:29Will Arnett?

  I remember the black box too. Guys, remember when we tried to put our coffee on it?

• 28:32Speaker 03

  I don't remember.

• 28:33Will Arnett?

  And they said, "Don't touch that thing."

• 28:35Speaker 03

  Why, why, what is it?

• 28:36Will Arnett?

  Then it robbed, remember, when we were at the-

• 28:37Speaker 03

  What is it? What it is, it's like if all communications break down, that thing has a, a line into some sort of, you know, a secret-

• 28:44Will Arnett?

  Satellite.

• 28:45Speaker 03

  Satellite network. Right.

• 28:46Will Arnett?

  Oh, I see. Why?

• 28:47Speaker 03

  So they gotta put that in. And that was kinda, that was kinda the most menacing thing. And I remember, like, the day of, wow. So, the day of, there was like at least 15, you know, Secret Service people and then we'd set up tables on the deck there. It was, my biggest fear was that, that house had one toilet. And I'm like, "Where's he gonna go to the bath, what if someone needs to go to the bathroom? You know, I gotta clean the, the ba-" whatever. So, so we set up a table with listening stations for the, for the White House people, for Brendan, for, for whoever else needed them. So there was like four or five sets of headphones out there. And the amazing thing about Obama, that he, there was no pre-interview, we didn't have to get any approval of any questions. He was completely confident and lucid and he knew what was, you know, he knew what he was getting into.

• 29:33Speaker 03

  But the funny thing was, is that the Secret Service is coming in with the dogs and I got these cats and I'm like, "Hey, is there any way you can skip the house? I got cats. I'm gonna put them in the bedroom, but you trust me enough to leave the cats in the bedroom?" Now, well, they said yes, and they let me off the hook, but I don't know if that's gonna get them in trouble, but I think they're probably out of the game anyways. But anyway, so I'm, we're waiting now, and we're all in a waiting position. My producer, he wore a sports jacket. He's very proper for him. Yeah, and all the Secret Service is there, and I'm waiting on outside, and I say, "How are we gonna know they're coming?" "We'll give you a heads up when he's 20 minutes out." So what he was doing, he was flying from Beverly Hills in Air Force Two or whatever, the helicopter,

• 30:16Speaker 03

  to the Rose Bowl to park there, which is about 10 minutes from my house. So they're like, "Well, that's better than, you know, stopping traffic in the entire fucking city of LA."

• 30:25Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 30:26Speaker 03

  So, they said they'll tell me-

• 30:27Jason Bateman?

  To go to Mark's garage.

• 30:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, exactly. They cleared the street of all cars. Some neighbors were pissed a couple, you know, the Republicans were pissed, but the rational people were like, "This is great. They're gonna line the streets." So, so they said, "20 minutes out, we'll tell you." But then all of a sudden, we see the helicopter. There's two Ospreys that kind of, you know, fly in front of the helicopter. And we could see him in the sky. I'm like, "All right, well, he's close." So, and I'm just waiting at the gate, and the motorcade pulls up, and there's this flurry of people coming up my driveway. I don't even see Obama, and then I see him, and he's in the middle of this crowd. He waves like, "Mark!" And I'm like, "Mr. President!" He walks up, and he's like, "We gonna have a good time?" I'm like, "I don't know."

• 31:15Speaker 03

  But then, you know, we go into the garage. They only had one Secret Service guy, you know, at the door behind me. They had some sort of flak mat. That was another weird item that they actually left, and I had to get back to them. That kind of like, if there's an attack or something, it kind of pops up and protects him. But it was all, you know, it was intense, and I just tried to, we had to cover some politics up front because there were things unfolding. But then it was a fairly standard WTF interview, and the funniest part about it was when he sat down. You know, I said, "So, you nervous?" And he said, you know, something like, "If I was nervous about this, we'd all be in trouble."

• 31:52Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. He was pretty forthcoming, though, yeah?

• 31:55Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah, forthcoming enough, you know, he's a genuine person. What he was was very disarming and very candid seeming and, you know, willing and thoughtful. But what's interesting is that it was better to do a personal interview with him because he is kind of wonky and if you get into politics, it can get a little long. And we only had an hour.

• 32:14Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 32:15Speaker 03

  So, we were able to kind of do it. And then, for some reason, he chose, I'm sure very deliberately, to say the N-word on my show.

• 32:24Jason Bateman?

  Really?

• 32:25Speaker 03

  And that, yeah. In relation to, you know, he was like, you know, "Racism isn't over just because you can't say the N-word." And he said it. So, that got, you know, a flurry of international news, so I had to deal with, you know, news crews in front of my house.

• 32:38Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, there aren't enough t-shirts and stickers to handle that.

• 32:40Speaker 03

  Yeah. But my producer was very calculating in terms of the press we did. He's a very smart guy. We, you know, we didn't engage with any of them. We just did, we did Chris Hayes and we did Terry Gross, and that was it. And I don't hear from Obama at all. He's got my number, but, you know, I feel weird texting him.

• 33:00Jason Bateman?

  But, you know, I mean, look, the fact that you, A, were able to book him says a lot about the spirit and the content of your show. But your ability to get him to do a personal interview and to get him to be forthcoming really speaks to, sort of, I think what makes you so great at what you do. And are you comfortable trying to maybe kind of speak to that and maybe dissect that a little bit? Because, you know, this one-hour conversation, you know, there needed to be at some point a confidence from you about me just freestyling and then having somebody sit down and me just kind of pop back and forth with them and have a conversation as opposed to being

• 33:42Jason Bateman?

  an investigative journalist, needs to be compelling and I need to assume that that's going to be entertaining. What made you think that your hot takes on things and your personal kind of, the way in which you can drive a conversation would be something really compelling? Because it is.

• 34:02Will Arnett?

  Yeah, what gave you the right to think you could do this, Mark?

• 34:06Jason Bateman?

  Like, when did that happen for you? Just because I know you've spoken in the past about... Um, you know, whatever the right words would be about, you know, uh, your, your, your degrees of social comfort and, and

• 34:19Speaker 03

  Well.

• 34:20Jason Bateman?

  And what fuels your stand-up and your cynicism and stuff, which I share with you. Like, a lot of that doesn't lend itself to being a conversationalist. Do you know, do you know what I mean?

• 34:28Speaker 03

  I think what it, how it evolved is that, you know, I am, you know, innately and almost immediately codependent with any personality that sits in front of me. So, it's just by virtue of my upbringing, I don't know what. But there, there, there was a, the way it sort of started, and, and this is one of the reasons why, you know, we're winding it down, is that, you know, I'm kind of all in, no matter what I do. My stand-up is provocative and, and personal and sometimes a little cringey. And just my basic demeanor in terms of, of, of what I want to talk about and what I feel comfortable talking about and my need to connect with people is sort of ingrained in me and I'm willing to volunteer a lot of myself.

• 35:10Speaker 03

  And I think that the conversations that, in the beginning, I was literally having comedians over to apologize to them. So I, you know, for, for being a dick or whatever I thought my problem, you know, my issues were, or whether they were mad at me. So the, the, the style unfolded with me trying to, to, to get resolution and make amends and this and that. And also I think the way I characterize it is generally, the first 100 episodes were me having celebrities over to talk about my problems.

• 35:39Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 35:40Speaker 03

  So.

• 35:40Will Arnett?

  Right, right.

• 35:41Speaker 03

  And, and that became a way, you know, it's very disarming when you offer yourself.

• 35:46Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, when you pull your pants down, it's, everybody feels kind of safe. I'm like, okay, so I guess we're gonna be honest.

• 35:51Will Arnett?

  I love that.

• 35:52Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 35:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:52Will Arnett?

  Oh, when you pull your pants down, everybody feels safe.

• 35:55Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 35:57Will Arnett?

  Confident.

• 35:58Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 36:01Speaker 03

  But so that's how it's sort of evolved and it's a need for me because I don't like my preparation is just getting a broad view of who people are, what they've done. And you know, it's evolved over time in terms of of how I handle certain interviews. If somebody has a an amazing, if there's an older person with a large bulk of work, I'll forego the really personal stuff to really talk about the work. But you know, it all gets mixed in.

• 36:28Will Arnett?

  Well, let me ask you, has it has it changed the way you I'll ask all of you guys and and I don't know if I have an answer.

• 36:35Jason Bateman?

  You can say all y'all.

• 36:36Will Arnett?

  All y'all. Has it changed? I'll speak for myself first. I think that doing this over the last five years, which is just kind of odd to me.

• 36:47Jason Bateman?

  Right, but think about that. We've only done 300 episodes. He's done 1600.

• 36:51Will Arnett?

  No, I know, I know.

• 36:52Jason Bateman?

  It's amazing. It's amazing.

• 36:54Will Arnett?

  For sure. So so but for for us, for the last five years, certainly for me, I can only speak for myself, that it has changed a little bit the way that I talk to people. I don't just mean people out in the world like, hey, I'm a fan. I mean, just like people in general. It has, this has shaped a little bit. Um, how I how I interact with people to a certain degree. It is not the driving, but it has become a big part of who I am now. Uh, having these conversations and talking in this way, for whatever reason, for better or for worse.

• 37:24Speaker 03

  It's interesting because you guys, you know, are all actors and you know, part of that craft, from what I understand, you know, about 90% of it is being present and listening. So whether you were used to doing that in your real life or not, who knows? But I mean, it is a tool that you all have to be present and listen.

• 37:46Jason Bateman?

  That's applicable to this.

• 37:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, and and it's it's a real thing that, you know, because we're all kind of self-centered guys and you know, you kind of, you want to get your word in, you want to, you know, you're kind of half listening. But once you start to engage your your empathy and your ability to shut the fuck up, uh, you find that you you it is the foundation of connection. Right? And and I think that does change. I think that I'm a.

• 38:11Jason Bateman?

  I'm so afraid to talk now. Keep going.

• 38:13Speaker 03

  No, you go.

• 38:14Jason Bateman?

  No, no, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

• 38:16Will Arnett?

  No, you go.

• 38:17Speaker 03

  But for me, it took a lot to do that. And some people still are sort of like, why don't you let the guest talk? And I'm like, because it's my show. So.

• 38:27Speaker 03

  And also, you know, over years, you kind of, you know when someone's going into a public narrative. And some of those are deeper than you can imagine. There's ways that, that public people talk that, you know, there are some times I know like, well, I know this story has been told, God knows how many times, but maybe my listeners, you know, haven't heard it, but if it's something that I'm like, well, he's, you know, or she's, uh, you know, kind of autopiloting here, I'll interrupt until I can get them off of that and get them into some other place.

• 38:55Will Arnett?

  Did you ever get that thing, well, first of all, did you ever read comments to, when you put stuff out on social, like to promote the show?

• 39:04Speaker 03

  I try not to, you know, I, I, but you know, it's kind of addicting. I, I, I don't, I don't check the numbers. I don't know what the, when Twitter was, you know, a viable thing, I would look at those and that would be upsetting and it took me years to learn not to engage. I have an email-

• 39:19Will Arnett?

  I used to follow you on Twitter and you would sometimes engage and I would see the stuff that you would say-

• 39:23Speaker 03

  It's a nightmare.

• 39:24Will Arnett?

  Yeah, it's a nightmare, but would it change, would it alter the way, because I remember, I haven't looked in forever-

• 39:30Speaker 03

  Sure, yeah, it expanded my self-consciousness, you know, which is just what you need to-

• 39:35Will Arnett?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 39:35Speaker 03

  You take in just random bullshit trolling and you're like, that guy kind of nailed it. I gotta be aware of that, you know?

• 39:42Will Arnett?

  Yeah, well, we used to have, exactly, and I used to have that early days, it would be a lot, and people I'm sure still do it, they're like, "I wish Arnett would shut the fuck up. Why, why is he talking or why is he interrupting?" And I'm like, "Well, by the way, turn it off."

• 39:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, turn it off. And it's your show. As opposed to like, you know, honor Hawkwind 2's comments about you, you know?

• 40:04Speaker 03

  Some guy with four followers in the UK, you're like, "Oh jeez, I gotta reassess my whole life with some idiot sitting at a computer." Because there, there is a, there is a sense for some reason, no matter how old you are, or how, we're older, but, but you know, you see one comment, you know, on a social media platform and some part of your brain goes, "The entire internet thinks I suck." And it's like, one idiot. But, but still, if it's a bad morning, you know, you gotta fight the urge, you know?

• 40:33Jason Bateman?

  Hey, so Mark, so when, when you started WTF, you'd obviously had, I used to listen to you on Air America all the time and you'd done a bunch of other things that, what, what made you- Take us back to what the landscape was for the medium of podcasting. Like, what made you think that there was even money there? That there was an avenue there?

• 40:55Speaker 03

  I'm not a money guy. For better or for worse, I ended up with some, but it's never been my driving motivation. My motivation with comedy and with this has always been like, "I want to be seen and heard because I don't know who I am." So, I am building a sense of self here and I want you all to be involved. But at the beginning, Brendan and I, Air America collapsed. And, you know, and we, you know, I got pushed out, you know, to LA and I did an evening show that no one listened to for a while, but then it just went away. And, you know, like at the same time, I was going through a kind of a miserable divorce. And there was an outreach from Air America.

• 41:38Speaker 03

  They're like, "We want to pull you back in to do a streaming show." And this is before streaming. This is like 2007. No one knew what streaming was. So I'm like, "Fine." And I said, "Can you give me this amount of money so I can pay her off? So I can, you know, get my life back?" So they gave me this money to pay her off. And then they gave me this job at Air America doing a streaming show with Sam Seder that no one could really watch.

• 42:01Will Arnett?

  Sam Seder.

• 42:02Jason Bateman?

  Love Sam Seder.

• 42:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 42:04Will Arnett?

  I haven't seen him in so long, anyway.

• 42:05Speaker 03

  So it was me and Seder doing this show that crapped out in a year and we knew it would. And I was like devastated and heartbroken, so I was kind of useless. But we were at the studios at Air America, that version of it, which was a very kind of broken down version. And once our contract was up, they fired us, but we still had like two months on the contract. And being good liberals, they're like, "Well, you guys can use the offices," which is unheard of when you do a radio job. They're usually like, "Don't let him near the mics. Take away his card and get him out." But they didn't.

• 42:35Jason Bateman?

  Didn't Janine Garofalo have a show on Air America as well?

• 42:38Speaker 03

  Not then. No, that was the original one. But this was like, this was when they had like Montel Williams and it was a, and who's that other guy? Lionel, that weirdo?

• 42:49Speaker 03

  And we were just in this office doing a streaming show.

• 42:51Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 42:52Speaker 03

  And so we're out of a job and I said to Brendan, my producer, I said, look, man, there are these podcasts. There's a few of them, you know, Corolla had moved his radio show into the podcast form, but it was really just a radio show. I think, uh, who was around Jimmy Pardo?

• 43:07Will Arnett?

  Ricky was doing one like, Jervis was like every once in a while.

• 43:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, he was around, but there was only about five that had any profile, really, five or six. It was pre Rogan.

• 43:17Jason Bateman?

  And it came, and you could only find it on the Apple iPod itself, which is where it gets its name, podcasting, right?

• 43:24Speaker 03

  Well, that's what they, that's the thing is that, you know, Apple at that time, I said to Brendan,

• 43:28Jason Bateman?

  I didn't know that either.

• 43:29Speaker 03

  Can you figure out how to do this and, and, and maybe we should do it? And at that time, Apple just wanted anybody with a name to do them and they, they'd get behind you because it's not a platform as much as it is, as it is just a, you know, like it's not a server.

• 43:42Jason Bateman?

  It was also, it was, it was part of the thing to like actually sell the hardware, the iPod itself. You could only get it on, on this new, this new device that they were launching.

• 43:51Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 43:51Will Arnett?

  Wow, wow.

• 43:52Speaker 03

  So, so they kind of got behind us and we were kind of going.

• 43:54Will Arnett?

  That's the first thing I've ever learned from Jason.

• 43:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:56Jason Bateman?

  Enjoy.

• 43:57Speaker 03

  Wow. It's all about that, dude. Same with Apple TV, you know, it's like, that's just about getting people to get Apple TV ultimately.

• 44:04Jason Bateman?

  Buy hardware, yeah.

• 44:05Speaker 03

  So, so we started, you know, kind of going in after hours. We had cards, we knew the night tech and we were bringing guests up the freight elevator and, and it wasn't really the same show at the beginning. But it was all just sort of, I needed to keep doing something. I thought my, my comedy career was nowhere. I certainly wasn't acting and I, you know, after, I didn't, you know, I didn't know what to do with my life. So it was kind of a hail Mary, but there was no way to make money.

• 44:29Jason Bateman?

  It must've been scary. Was it, was it a scary time or were you kind of comfortable with your, your, your set in life?

• 44:35Speaker 03

  Well, I knew, I knew that for whatever reason I was good on these mics. Cause I, you know, I knew that and Brendan knew that as well, that there was a way, who knows why anyone's going to be good on these. Uh, but there was a way I, I kind of approached it that was very sort of, uh, immediate and honest and, and sort of searching.

• 44:54Jason Bateman?

  Did it feel like your last shot, I guess is my question.

• 44:57Speaker 03

  Sure, yeah. I mean, like I, I used to make a joke about it that I, you know, when I moved out to LA and I set the mics up in the garage, I was like, this is the same garage I thought about killing myself in.

• 45:07Speaker 03

  But I had no expectations. There was no money expectation. It was just me trying to do something. And then, you know, through weird timing and just, you know, trying to focus on building a social media presence, getting people who have that on the show. And then because the celebrity press had become kind of anemic, you know, they, people were locking in because I was doing their job for them. So Vulture was there.

• 45:31Will Arnett?

  What was the moment? What was the moment where you like looked at Brendan or looked at yourself and said, hey, we have something here?

• 45:37Jason Bateman?

  We have some traffic on social media. People are listening to the show.

• 45:40Speaker 03

  Well, that was starting to happen, you know, because Vulture picked up on it pretty early. And then I think when we had, you know, when I went up to the Bay Area to interview Robin Williams, you know, there was a couple of pretty big shows. I mean, we had, you know, fairly big people, social media wise, but I think the Robin interview, because it had never been done before, you know, before that or after. I mean, when he passed, you know, a lot of people were using that, pieces of that interview, because it was a rare thing. And it was hard to get him. And he was very protected and very insulated in terms of, you know, how we were going to do it. And ultimately, I ended up driving up there. I did a lot of those kind of interviews early on where I talk in the car on the way.

• 46:24Speaker 03

  But when I got up there, you know, it was just him and his house and an assistant. And I think that people didn't realize when, if you're, if Robin was in front of more than two people, or two at least, it was going to be a show. So when it was just one guy, and also a comic, and also a guy willing to connect and talk, it was a completely different sort of Robin experience. But if there were one other person there, it would have been, it would have been wrong, because he would have just started jumping around and improvising. So, so I think that one really was a big interview in terms of, you know.

• 47:00Jason Bateman?

  Because people were hearing a quality from him that they were not, were not used to.

• 47:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, never. It was quite, it was, it was, it was pretty insane, man.

• 47:08Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 47:11Speaker 03

  We'll be right back.

• 47:15Sean Hayes?

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• 47:58Jason Bateman?

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• 49:28Sean Hayes?

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• 50:13Sean Hayes?

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• 50:41Sean Hayes?

  All right, back to the show.

• 50:45Sean Hayes?

  And Mark, now that you've done it for so long, and I mean, it's so impressive. I think Jason said 1,600 episodes or something like that. And it's become part of your identity and you know, all you've done all these years. And now you're wrapping it up. Talk about that. Like, is that, are you gonna miss it? Are you going to think like, well, who am I now? And what do I do?

• 51:05Speaker 03

  I think, I think so. You know, it's a weird thing with the ego in terms of the world we live in and you know, what anyone considers relevance or irrelevance. Or I was talking to Owen Wilson the other day about it because I'm on that show with him. And we were talking about, you know, stopping the podcast. And he quoted some Salinger quote that was like, "I don't have the courage to be just unknown."

• 51:39Speaker 03

  Or just an average person. But, but I think like- What's happening is, and the show has always really been about the arc of my life. On the base level, it's been about me and, you know, and I talk to people. And I think at this point, you know, because we put, the amount of work we do, Brendan and I, it's just always been the two of us, and he's a very specific, very gifted audio producer. Takes a lot of time to put these shows together twice a week and people, it's, it's, people don't know that, but you know, sometime, he'll spend like hours with an interview, you know, kind of, you know, finding a theme, trimming it, you know, maybe moving things around. It's so funny how many people have listened to their interview and are like,

• 52:22Speaker 03

  "God, I really nailed that thing." It's like, it took Brendan four hours.

• 52:25Will Arnett?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we feel the same way about Rob and Bennett and the guys who, Michael, Terry, who work with us, they, they do the same thing and they're really good at it.

• 52:33Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, we got, we got the best in the biz.

• 52:35Speaker 03

  Well, let me answer that real quick, Will. Will, let me, let me just answer Sean real quick.

• 52:39Will Arnett?

  Okay.

• 52:40Speaker 03

  I, I apologize.

• 52:41Will Arnett?

  I'm known for interrupting according to the guy from England.

• 52:44Speaker 03

  But the, the, the thing is, is like, yeah, I am nervous about the time, but it's, but viewing it as a piece of work as opposed to content. And, you know, sort of really assessing the need to keep plowing along just because you can, you know, was sort of a conversation. We got a deal with a platform, Acast, and that we were in that for years and it, and it kind of made us, you know, the money that I think we deserved after working on it so long. And now that's coming to an end. And we were talking before that about winding it down and our agreement has always been like, "Well, I'm gonna go as long as you go. Whoever cries uncle first and we'll, we'll just honor that." But the truth is, I'm, there, there comes a point with me because of the way I do it,

• 53:28Speaker 03

  where maybe I'd like to have a little bit of a private life, maybe I'd like to not worry about which pieces and bits of my life or past I, I need to kind of, kind of bring up in order to, to, to satisfy, you know, what I do and the audience I've created.

• 53:42Will Arnett?

  That's interesting.

• 53:42Speaker 03

  Who find a lot of comfort and a lot of, you know, I, I've helped a lot of people unknowingly, you know, get sober, not commit suicide, deal with authoritarianism. I, you know, there was, the way I do it, it was very comforting to a very specific audience. So there's part of me that thinks like, Why, I owe them. And they kind of live in your head and that gets a little emotionally exhausting. So I think that by viewing it as a amazing piece of work, you know, of 16 years of a thing that never diminished in its quality and always had the arc of me and always was always interesting and engaging every episode, that to sort of say, "We're done with this part of our lives",

• 54:26Speaker 03

  it kind of is good for the legacy of the thing as opposed to being one of those people where it's like, "Is Maron still doing it? That's crazy. You don't want to be that guy."

• 54:34Will Arnett?

  Right, right, right. But do you, like, what I was gonna say was, you know, when you hear like a, you know, an athlete retires and they say, "You're gonna miss the game", and what's funny is they always say, you know, "I'm gonna miss the guys. I'm gonna miss being in the locker room. I'm gonna miss the people that I were..." You know, "I don't know anything about your relationship with Brendan other than you've mentioned him a bunch and he was obviously integral to your show." I mean, that relationship is now gonna change. Have you guys talked about that, how that's gonna shift?

• 55:00Speaker 03

  Well, you know, it's weird. I've been working with him since he was 24 and now he's 44.

• 55:04Will Arnett?

  Wow.

• 55:05Speaker 03

  And, you know, we met at Air America and he was an associate producer. So, and the very odd thing about Brendan and I is that he's actually, you know, part of my brain. Like, you know, I do these interviews and then I send them to him. And my memory of them is of whatever I remember that day, but he spends hours with all of them. So I rely on him to remember things. And also, he's a very brilliant guy, you know, with politics and film. He's really the smartest guy I know. And he's a great producer because he helps me frame things that I'm thinking, you know, which is usually intuitive and then, you know, he can give it depth. But, but over the years, it's always been a professional relationship. We're not really in each other's lives. He's more in mine because he hears me talk about it all the time.

• 55:47Speaker 03

  But we have, you know, it's one of the only relationships where the boundaries are healthy. There's a full respect there. We're 50/50 partners and I don't lean on him for personal stuff unless it's really pressing. So, and we've never had a fight. You know, in since I've known him once. And it's just, so that relationship, he'll be there for me if if if I need him, but he needs a break. But I just think, like, what you're saying is true, though. This this show is a it's a prime, it's a big part of my social life. It's a big part of my spiritual and soul life in terms of engaging with other humans who are creative humans and really talking about life, which I think is important to do in one's life.

• 56:32Speaker 03

  But I I was doing it also as my my job and outlet. I I am gonna miss that, and I imagine that I I should really give a heads up to my two friends that it's gonna be hard for them for a little while.

• 56:45Will Arnett?

  Do you feel, do you feel that, do you feel that you're leaving Marc Maron in a better place than than where you found him? When you started?

• 56:53Speaker 03

  Well, I hope so, because, you know, Marc Maron is gonna be sixty two years old in September. And, you know, I just did, it's weird, and I know you guys have got it. You guys seem to have a probably a more expansive work ethic than I do. But but I I don't know, I just did a special, you know, that's gonna premiere on HBO August first. And it's really probably the best work I've done as a comic.

• 57:19Will Arnett?

  Oh, that's great.

• 57:19Speaker 03

  I've done this thing for sixteen years, and I'm very proud of that as a as a a singular thing. And, you know, I I wouldn't say I'm tired, but I'd like to see where I am without these responsibilities a little bit, or without them being pressing all the time. I I don't know.

• 57:37Jason Bateman?

  Right, it, yeah, it is, it's an interesting, I mean, yeah, you're, you know, you mentioned that special on HBO, and you mentioned Stick with Owen, and, you know, and I'd love that film you were in, that Justin Kraszewski directed, The Order of the Law, is just incredible.

• 57:51Speaker 03

  Amazing.

• 57:52Jason Bateman?

  Your your your career is. Uh, it's not even ascendant, ascendant doesn't sound, uh, it doesn't sound as respectful as I mean it to be, but you're, you're, things are great for you. So you probably, there's a part of, there's a part of this while you're winding it down, it's almost because you might not even have time for it anymore. Because like-

• 58:12Speaker 03

  Shifting.

• 58:13Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, and this, and also, it seems like, uh, correct me if I'm wrong, like-

• 58:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:18Jason Bateman?

  You're kind of allowing yourself to be a little bit, um, more in a healthy way selfish with your life and you're, you're, you're saying, well, I don't want to lend my personal life out anymore and monetize it. I want to keep my power inside and kind of enjoy being me and-

• 58:38Speaker 03

  Right.

• 58:39Jason Bateman?

  I don't, it sounds like a really healthy place that you're-

• 58:42Speaker 03

  That's, that's where I'm, I'm trying to get, you know, uh, you know, I don't know if panic will sit in, you know, I'm not great alone, you know, I don't have a, a wife, I don't have kids, you know?

• 58:51Jason Bateman?

  You got cats, Mark?

• 58:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, I got a few cats and that's, that's a whole other thing, dude. You know, I don't know what I'm gonna do with Charlie, but, but anyway, I got a, I got a real fuck of a cat. So-

• 59:03Jason Bateman?

  (laughing)

• 59:05Speaker 03

  And the, the, this, the fucking, the hard thing about cats is like, at least kids grow up. The cats are like, they're just gonna be that. And-

• 59:13Jason Bateman?

  (laughing)

• 59:14Speaker 03

  You know, there's no teaching it new things or anything. But, uh, but yeah, I think that's true, Jason. I think, I think that is, that is ultimately what is happening. And as you get older, you give less fucks about certain things.

• 59:26Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 59:27Speaker 03

  Uh, and, and the acting and that kind of stuff. I, I, what I, the way I see it is that, you know, I do, you know, I've, I've been able to do everything I, I wanted to do, only because I did this one thing on my own, that, that, that got me out in the world.

• 59:42Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 59:43Speaker 03

  And I've somehow managed to remain kind of under the radar. I don't have, like, uh, you know, the, the weight of celebrity on me, you know, I'm, I'm kind of chipping away.

• 59:50Jason Bateman?

  But you're on top of the radar with those that you, I, I would imagine, uh, respect, admire, the audience you've actually been shooting for.

• 59:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:58Jason Bateman?

  You have. And that's, that I think is really admirable.

• 1:00:01Speaker 03

  Yeah. I mean, like, I try not to, like, I, I know- I know, I kinda know exactly who I am and what my, not so much shortcomings are, but there is an element, like, cause I have friends who are big, big, you know, stars in comedy or whatever, and there's always that little part of you that's like, fuck, why am I not playing arenas? And it's just sort of like, dude, could you imagine the weirdness of doing what you do in an arena?

• 1:00:28Speaker 03

  I do a joke about it. I say, like, I think I could play one arena centrally located in the country somewhere and I could bus my fans in, you know, like, buses from Aaron leaving out of Whole Foods parking lots in these cities.

• 1:00:43Speaker 03

  But, so I, I do know who I am and I do know, one of, the reason I am who I am, has something to do with some fears, but, but maybe those are, those are good. Maybe those are self-protecting, you know? Yeah.

• 1:00:55Will Arnett?

  So now the question is?

• 1:00:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:57Will Arnett?

  What do you, what, what, what's day to day? Like, what are you gonna, what do you wanna do? Like, if, if you had your druthers, if it was like, hey, man, and which you kinda do, what, what's the deal? Is it, uh?

• 1:01:08Speaker 03

  Well, I'd like to try to figure out how to enjoy myself. I mean, you guys seem to do it.

• 1:01:13Will Arnett?

  So what's the path to that? Are you gonna like, learn how to, are you gonna paint? Are you gonna learn how to surf?

• 1:01:18Speaker 03

  Well, look, I do, I do a lot of things. You know, I, I've been playing guitar with people. I'm, I'm playing, uh, you know, I, I get together and sometimes I do music shows. I've found the courage to sing in front of people and that's sort of daunting and interesting. But, you know, what I'd really like to learn how to do, and I don't know how to do it, you know, like, when I, when I act, you know, I think I do okay with it. You do. You're great. Well, that's nice.

• 1:01:41Will Arnett?

  You are good.

• 1:01:41Speaker 03

  And I, I just did a feature, an indie feature where I'm the lead and I kinda, you know, I kinda manned up and pulled that off. We'll see if it gets out anywhere, but. Nice. But there's this thing where. Wait, is that, is that the one with Judy Greer? She's in it and, and, but Lily Gladstone's in it, Sharon Stone, Alan Ruck.

• 1:01:58Jason Bateman?

  Uh.

• 1:01:59Will Arnett?

  Oh, awesome.

• 1:02:00Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:01Speaker 03

  Michael McKean.

• 1:02:02Jason Bateman?

  That's called in memoriam?

• 1:02:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, dude, it's funny, and I watched a final cut and I, let me ask you this, two questions about acting since we're here. When you watch yourself, is, are you always sort of like, ah, fuck, like, why'd I, you know?

• 1:02:17Speaker 03

  Like, you're like, I mean, you can watch the whole movie, but you're, some part of you is really focused on like, why'd I do that with my eye? You know, like.

• 1:02:24Jason Bateman?

  I will, I will, I will say that the fact that you're doing that, that you're watching and you're, and you're, and you're, you're, you're being honest with yourself and you're, that's, that will make you an incredible actor. I, I've learned so much from seeing how bad I am on things and adjusting for the next job.

• 1:02:42Speaker 03

  But, but don't people say you're good, though? Aren't they telling you that it's good?

• 1:02:46Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, but you know, you, it doesn't matter what they say.

• 1:02:48Speaker 03

  But are we right?

• 1:02:49Jason Bateman?

  But I, yes, I'm saying you need to, I think you need to watch yourself, and there's so many talented actors that I work with that never watch themselves because they're afraid, they're afraid that they're bad, yet they're so good, and I, I keep saying, you're denying yourself like this, this great treat.

• 1:03:04Will Arnett?

  Yeah, but Jason, I think that you have a unique ability, I really, I really mean this, and I, I don't know if it's because you've been doing it since you were a little kid, so it's just so like ingrained into who you are, but you have a really good ability to separate and be objective. You really, really do, it's, it's, it's an honor, it's a, it's a, it's a, um, it's a great quality.

• 1:03:23Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:24Will Arnett?

  And so you're able to go and look at stuff and now because you're also because you have that, because, because you direct, so you, you're, your ability to be objective about your place in the story, understanding where you are, is, I think, unique. I don't think everybody has that.

• 1:03:40Speaker 03

  I know, just, just thinking about what Jason does, like with the, with the directing and then with the act, like, I'm getting anxiety thinking about his career. So.

• 1:03:51Speaker 03

  Like, I can't even fucking wrap my brain around it, you know, like, I, here's, but here's the question that is kinda eating at me, it's like, I was sitting with Judy at some junket for stick, cuz she's got a part in that too. Oh, wow. And she said to me, she said, you know, the way you handled that character was, was very unique, cuz most people would've went broad with it. And I said to her, I said, I don't think I know how to go broad. And she goes, I don't think you do either. So some part of my brain is like, I gotta figure out how to get broad, you know, how do I, how do I become a broad comic actor? I don't have it in me.

• 1:04:23Will Arnett?

  It's so funny, by the way, I was, I was just thinking, I saw a video on social media this morning, Sean, I don't know who, I think the, the play posted it, of you just playing piano.

• 1:04:33Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, I saw that too.

• 1:04:34Will Arnett?

  Within the last couple of days.

• 1:04:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, the Gershwin, um...

• 1:04:36Will Arnett?

  Yeah, the Gershwin thing, and, and Sean, and Sean's about, he's in London, he's about to do his, his show in the West End, um, Goodnight Oscar.

• 1:04:43Speaker 03

  At the Tabasco, or the?

• 1:04:45Will Arnett?

  At the, uh...

• 1:04:46Speaker 03

  Barbecue. At the barbecue, sorry.

• 1:04:48Will Arnett?

  At the, and, and you're, Sean, and you're just sitting down, it's, you're, you're playing, you're not playing in front of anybody, and you just start playing, and honest to God, and not to embarrass you, I thought, this fucking guy is so fucking talented.

• 1:05:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:02Will Arnett?

  No, it's true, and I thought like, I couldn't do that if you gave me a million tries.

• 1:05:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, you could.

• 1:05:08Will Arnett?

  And, you know, and, and I was just thinking like, god damn it, like, what, what am I doing? I'm fixing my bike in the garage this morning.

• 1:05:14Speaker 03

  I'm gonna order a piano on Amazon, right?

• 1:05:16Will Arnett?

  I literally went to get a new wrench at the hardware store, and then rode back.

• 1:05:21Speaker 03

  And couldn't figure out how to use it.

• 1:05:22Will Arnett?

  And was trying to get the, to raise my handlebars.

• 1:05:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, for a half hour before you called the guy to fix it, right?

• 1:05:27Will Arnett?

  No, I, I, I did it, I got the scars, I did it wrong, and then my seat kept going down, anyway, and Sean's there playing, making beautiful art, and I was like, oh, god damn it, you know?

• 1:05:38Sean Hayes?

  That's really nice, I think we all have gifts, and we've all lucky, we're all lucky enough to be able to share them.

• 1:05:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, it is pretty great, Mark, you know, like, you, you, whatever your innate talent is, you have found a, a lane for it, a platform for it.

• 1:05:52Will Arnett?

  Right.

• 1:05:53Speaker 03

  Um, you know, a place to apply it, and, and, and doing such good for so many that listen to you, I'm, I'm very happy for you that you are deciding to...

• 1:06:02Jason Bateman?

  You know, spend a little of that on yourself and reinvesting in, you know.

• 1:06:06Will Arnett?

  And leave on your terms. And I reject the idea, just before, I also reject the idea, and I know you say it because it's kind of a funny one line like, you know, that people you inspire, that people thought, well, if Mark can do it, I can do it. That's not true at all. I think the opposite is true. I think that you inspired people.

• 1:06:25Jason Bateman?

  Well, that's nice.

• 1:06:26Will Arnett?

  It's true, and you grew this medium, and so that dumb dumbs like us could do it.

• 1:06:31Jason Bateman?

  And that your tone and your quality and your honesty and your vulnerability was a viable format.

• 1:06:39Speaker 03

  But I think the other thing I want to know is, like, because comedy, look, I watched my new special and I like it. I have complete control out of that craft, and it's the best work I've done. I know that.

• 1:06:51Jason Bateman?

  That's great.

• 1:06:52Speaker 03

  And with this thing, but with comedy and with podcasting, it's all driven improvisationally. It's all going to create itself in real time.

• 1:07:01Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:01Speaker 03

  And with acting, that's different. So then all of a sudden, you got a script and you make choices and all that stuff. But I don't know really where, none of my imagination goes into creating fiction or creating things outside of myself. Everything I do is impulsive and comes from, you know, the need to connect. So I'm kind of curious, do I have creativity that is more disciplined that I can apply in another way? That's the big mystery. Can I apply my talents to something that isn't essentially Mark?

• 1:07:31Will Arnett?

  Have you ever sat down and written? Have you ever?

• 1:07:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, I write every week. I don't love, I don't love writing, you know. It's exhausting. But I write a thing every week, but reflections that are sort of poetic, and I put that out into the world. And I've done the writing, but my comedy is sort of formed on stage and in real time until it sort of sets. And then I leave room for new things to happen for, like, I did the special and I, you know, I usually start with like an hour and 45 minutes that I tour with for a year and a half. And then, you know, three weeks before I got to shoot, I got to get it down to like 70 minutes and figure out what the callbacks are. And then I leave a little open space for things to drop in the days before, even that night. So it it keeps it alive and you know, but I I'm very confident in in that craft and and I'm very confident in this.

• 1:08:18Speaker 03

  Talking on the mic thing, but like with acting or I I you know, I've set in motion. Uh, I'm gonna direct a film based on my buddy Sam Lipsite's book.

• 1:08:27Will Arnett?

  Oh, that's great.

• 1:08:29Speaker 03

  That'll happen, you know, but that's a little daunting and scary, but I guess I'm not afraid to take the chances.

• 1:08:33Will Arnett?

  No, it sounds like it's of course you've got creativity. What are you talking about? You're doing it all.

• 1:08:38Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, in answer to your, what I think your question is about the application of. What you heretofore have been doing, which is basically freestyling, improvising, you you are coming first and then the words follow. Right. That's your writing for stand up, your freestyling on the microphone, your podcast. How do you apply that same level of? Um, accuracy, authenticity, um, into something that is, uh, by its own definition, pre-written, right? A movie, a script.

• 1:09:09Speaker 03

  Or outside of myself, yeah.

• 1:09:10Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. How do you find that level of of of of Marc Maron in acting? I will say that you are allowed when you, um, take on a character to make that character. Simply just another part of who Marc Maron is, you know, there are there are goalposts, you're far right, far left of of who Marc Maron is. And then you just find whatever version that character is closest to you inside of those goalposts. So you're so you're still being Marc Maron, it's just the words are written beforehand and you got to find the version of you that fits those words. And so you're still kind of, um, you're you're still, uh, exhibiting who you are. Um, and and should still be able to find some enjoyment from that.

• 1:09:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, I I get that part where you kind of turn things off or turn things on within you. I get that with the acting. My question is. Like, can I do something like, like if I direct, you know, I don't have a vocabulary for that. I don't have a style. So that's completely outside of me and I'm just gonna have to figure out what that is. Can I, could I?

• 1:10:11Jason Bateman?

  You don't need to do that on the first one. Just just exercise taste and just sit there and watch the results of other people's work and say. Yes to this, no to that, little more of this, little more. More of that. It is the one person on the set that doesn't have a job. So you don't really actually need to do anything. I'm not suggesting that's the right way to be a director. But I've worked with a million that worked that way. It's very common. So you need not be overwhelmed with, I gotta do a bunch of shit.

• 1:10:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:10:37Jason Bateman?

  Walk before you run and just sit there and just be the arbiter of taste, you know?

• 1:10:41Speaker 03

  Right. Okay. Well, I can, I, I, I will do that.

• 1:10:44Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:45Speaker 03

  And.

• 1:10:45Jason Bateman?

  You can do that. You've got great taste.

• 1:10:47Will Arnett?

  Fuck, I've learned a lot from Jason today.

• 1:10:48Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:49Will Arnett?

  Amazing. You gotta be started. Who's this guy?

• 1:10:53Jason Bateman?

  I'm starting my own podcast next week. I wanted to tell you guys about.

• 1:10:56Will Arnett?

  I'm listening to it. Are you kidding me? I can't wait. Holy shit. It took us 300 episodes to get through to you.

• 1:11:04Jason Bateman?

  I've arrived.

• 1:11:05Will Arnett?

  Wait, it wasn't for Mark, you know what I mean?

• 1:11:09Jason Bateman?

  How about this? This is the first interview, first guest I've ever had, that I didn't get to one single question.

• 1:11:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:11:16Jason Bateman?

  Um, and we're already six minutes over one hour. So that is a testament to you, Mr. Mark Maron, knowing the gift of gab. Knowing what you're doing, keeping the conversation going.

• 1:11:27Speaker 03

  Can I share one story though for Sean?

• 1:11:29Jason Bateman?

  Please.

• 1:11:29Will Arnett?

  Yes, please.

• 1:11:30Jason Bateman?

  So Sean, are you still here?

• 1:11:31Sean Hayes?

  Yep.

• 1:11:32Jason Bateman?

  There he is.

• 1:11:32Sean Hayes?

  I just, I took a bathroom break. I'm back.

• 1:11:34Speaker 03

  Well, he talked about the, the doctor that did the full examination for the, uh, for the sore throat. Like, I, like, I went into, like, one of my old guy physicals, you know, I guess it was probably last year. And now for the, they, for the prostate test.

• 1:11:50Jason Bateman?

  Hmm.

• 1:11:51Speaker 03

  They, they only, they only do the blood test and like, so, you know.

• 1:11:55Jason Bateman?

  The finger's gone?

• 1:11:56Speaker 03

  Right. Well, that's, I didn't know that. So the guy said, I said, well, are we gonna do the, the, the, the finger thing?

• 1:12:02Sean Hayes?

  Not for me.

• 1:12:03Speaker 03

  And then he goes, he says, no, no, we, we don't do that anymore. You know, they do it with the blood. I'm like, well, is that, is that effective? I mean, you find that the results, he's like, yeah, no, we, we, we just do the blood test. He says, I can, I can do the other thing if you want. So I'm like, well, I would feel better.

• 1:12:17Will Arnett?

  Extra.

• 1:12:18Speaker 03

  I would feel better if you did. So I requested a finger bang from the doctor. Yeah.

• 1:12:23Jason Bateman?

  Wow.

• 1:12:24Speaker 03

  And he did that. He did. And, and my, my diagnosis is it's not clear.

• 1:12:30Jason Bateman?

  He needed to go back in.

• 1:12:31Will Arnett?

  You said, you said, uh, why don't you go ahead and toss a ring on too before you get in there?

• 1:12:37Jason Bateman?

  He said he'd like to see you again next week?

• 1:12:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, he's here now.

• 1:12:41Jason Bateman?

  You're a little bit of a, you're a little bit of a hypochondriac though, like I am a little bit?

• 1:12:44Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah, well, I, well, I grew up with a doctor father, so it was a real way to get attention. Like, you know, I think I have cancer, so.

• 1:12:53Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 1:12:54Speaker 03

  But, uh, but yeah, I've, I've got, I, you know, I got a, you know, I got a, I got a handle on it, you know? It doesn't happen as much, and when it does happen, it runs pretty deep. Like, you know, like I can usually say like, just wait a couple of days, it'll probably go away, that kind of stuff. But if I really lock into, uh, I think I have cancer, I'll, I'll, I'll go all the way through it and I'll sit in my bed and just sweat, uh, you know?

• 1:13:14Jason Bateman?

  Oh, man, me too.

• 1:13:15Speaker 03

  Anticipating the nothingness.

• 1:13:17Jason Bateman?

  That's called intelligence and being, and being creative, the, uh, the ability to sort of like create these scenarios in your brain.

• 1:13:24Speaker 03

  That's how I use my imagination, just all driven by panic and fear. I'd really like to free it up.

• 1:13:29Jason Bateman?

  You know what doesn't have panic? Dummies. Could be, you know, it, it takes a lot of intelligence to like create this like fucking doomsday scenario.

• 1:13:36Speaker 03

  A little more happier than we are when they're not talking about.

• 1:13:38Jason Bateman?

  Blissful ignorance.

• 1:13:39Speaker 03

  When they're not talking about QAnon.

• 1:13:41Will Arnett?

  But the happiness is not as profound. How about that?

• 1:13:44Speaker 03

  Okay, well, that's a projection, but you know, hold on to it.

• 1:13:49Jason Bateman?

  Mark, we, uh, we love you and we thank you.

• 1:13:52Will Arnett?

  You're the greatest.

• 1:13:54Speaker 03

  Thanks, guys. I really appreciate it and you guys are doing great.

• 1:13:57Will Arnett?

  Thank you, man.

• 1:13:58Jason Bateman?

  Well, thank you. You please keep, keep on jamming and, um, will you consider at least maybe doing a, a, a special once a year or something? Just, just to, just to. And I, and I don't mean the incredible specials on, yeah, yeah, come back with WTF and give people updates.

• 1:14:13Speaker 03

  Well, I have to figure out, like, I think there's other ways.

• 1:14:15Jason Bateman?

  Maybe it's the podcast version of The Letterman Show, you know what I mean? Where he does like six a year or something.

• 1:14:20Speaker 03

  I could do that, but then you're kind of like who's, you know, my, my producer kind, and I don't really do much without him, but I think there is a, a world where, you know, I could at least, you know, maybe, uh, after a little time off, you know, get on the mic, you know, once a week just to talk without people. Uh, that, that might happen. I, I don't know.

• 1:14:40Jason Bateman?

  We want it, we need it, please do it.

• 1:14:42Speaker 03

  Thanks, buddy.

• 1:14:42Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:43Speaker 03

  Okay, fellas.

• 1:14:44Jason Bateman?

  All right. Best of luck to you, my friend. Thanks for doing this.

• 1:14:46Will Arnett?

  Thanks, Mark.

• 1:14:47Speaker 03

  Take care of you guys. Good luck with the show, Sean. Break a leg.

• 1:14:49Jason Bateman?

  Thank you, pal. Thank you. Appreciate it.

• 1:14:51Speaker 03

  Bye.

• 1:14:51Jason Bateman?

  Bye, Mark.

• 1:14:53Jason Bateman?

  Boy, that, that, that Marc Maron, I mean, like, you know, so Willie, Sean, unfortunately, you never did a show, but Willie, doesn't it sort of, you just sit there, you listen to him and you just, he just kind of rocks you into this place of like, oh, I just want to tell you everything about me.

• 1:15:08Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:09Sean Hayes?

  Well, he's almost like a therapist, you know?

• 1:15:11Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, but without being solicitous, he's just, he just kind of goes first and there's just like this nice quality to him.

• 1:15:17Will Arnett?

  He just starts talking and you're just having a conversation, you forget that you're doing it and, and all of a sudden you're telling him stuff that you haven't ever talked about in that way before.

• 1:15:26Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, it's a really, talk about gifts though, like that's his gift is like, you know, like it was very nice of you to say that Willie, but like we all really do have gifts and he, his gift is to just be able to constantly keep a conversation going, be interesting, never not be curious, he's always curious about every single person and it's a really an intelligent conversation, you get sucked in.

• 1:15:47Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, I'm glad that at least he will always have his, his stand-up to sort of just, just be.

• 1:15:54Will Arnett?

  I'm excited for his new stand-up special, that's gonna be great.

• 1:15:56Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, that is, he mentioned it earlier, but just, just to make sure that's, that's, it's called Panicked and it's gonna be on HBO August 1st and then it'll stream on the Macs after that, but such a big fan of his.

• 1:16:10Will Arnett?

  Yeah, same here, he's always been such a good dude and I figure, you know, Sean, you mentioned the gifts and, you know, he has that and Jason, we talked about your gifts and Sean, and you have your gifts and I don't know, I wasn't, I wasn't given any gifts, but you know what, hopefully one day I'll be in a position where I'll be able to buy one.

• 1:16:28Jason Bateman?

  That was pretty good.

• 1:16:31Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:32Jason Bateman?

  Bye.

• 1:16:33Will Arnett?

  Bye.

• 1:16:46Will Arnett?

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