MBMBaM 792: They're Not Drunk, They're Just Fighting

Today’s episode is presented and hosted by three felt chicken wings named Justim, Navis, and Groffin. If you’re not into fuzzy food, they’ve also brought a variety of ways to yeet skeets, faux time-travel schemes, and Shakespeare’s suspiciously-named children. Something for everyone! Suggested talking points: My Son Excelisinor, Internal ComFUNstion Engine, Pop In a Bud, Cursing Santa is the Chase Ornament Harmony House: https://harmonyhousewv.com/

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

• 1:10Travis McElroy?

  Hello, everybody. Welcome to My Brother, My Brother, Me and Advice Show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

• 1:15Griffin McElroy?

  What's up, Travis Nation? It's me, your middlest brother, Travis, big dog, wolf, full of room for McElroy. What's up, Travis Nation? It's me, your sweet baby boy, 30 on 30, me and Luminary Griffin, McElroy. Guys, check the Chyron. Check the newspapers.

• 1:32Griffin McElroy?

  Check that there's a Chyron at the bottom of the screen right now. It says, "Check it out." And it says, "Hamnet." It says, "Hamnet, watch." And this is a new movie out in theaters and it's called Hamnet. And Hamnet is about the son of a professional playwright. Bill Shakespeare had a son and named his son Hamnet. And so this movie is called Hamnet. And it's a real guy. His name was Hamnet Shakespeare. And I'm- Wait, that's a real guy? I thought I knew a lot about this fucking dude, because like, I've been in his shit before. Deep in his shit. Speak hands for me. Fucking in there. I thought I

• 2:08Travis McElroy?

  He's still got it.

• 2:10Griffin McElroy?

  I thought I knew.

• 2:10Travis McElroy?

  Got it.

• 2:11Griffin McElroy?

  Thanks, man. I don't. I knew everything about this old Victorian man or whatever. Way before that Dark Ages. He had a son. Cool, first of all. And he named him Hamnet, which is also cool because he also wrote a play and called it Hamlet.

• 2:29Travis McElroy?

  Now, hold on.

• 2:30Griffin McElroy?

  That's awesome.

• 2:31Travis McElroy?

  This is what we need to talk about, Griffin, because I've known this for a while. Um, and the thing that blows my mind. Imagine, so Hamlet.

• 2:38Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 2:39Travis McElroy?

  Is a real wiener. Who murders people and like all this stuff.

• 2:44Griffin McElroy?

  Then Shakespeare's son becomes a kill, like kills guys.

• 2:47Travis McElroy?

  No, that's Hamlet. Imagine if dad wrote a story about someone named Groffin.

• 2:55Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 2:55Travis McElroy?

  Who was a real wiener who complained all the time and was just like, oh, and like killed a man.

• 3:03Griffin McElroy?

  I haven't seen the movie and this is a, this is a Hamnet watch only sort of conceptually because it looks so boring. But, um, it's, he had the son first, called the son Hamnet and then wrote a play about a real piece of shit and was like, I'll call him something that sounds a lot like my son's name and not the other way around.

• 3:21Travis McElroy?

  I believe so, yeah.

• 3:22Travis McElroy?

  Actually, historically how it happened, from what I understand, he wrote Hamlet and then Anne Hathaway gave birth through their first child.

• 3:30Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 3:31Travis McElroy?

  And she says, Bill Shakespeare, tell me true now. What is, and he, she's, she was holding the baby up and she's like, Bill Shakespeare, tell me true now.

• 3:38Griffin McElroy?

  And she was shorn. She was shaved.

• 3:40Travis McElroy?

  Shorn.

• 3:40Griffin McElroy?

  She did that again. She said, I like that look.

• 3:42Travis McElroy?

  It's not Anne Hath- Anne Hathaway's wife, Griffin.

• 3:45Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, sorry.

• 3:45Travis McElroy?

  And she says, Bill Shakespeare, tell me truly now. What's the greatest thing you've ever created? And like, without even thinking, he's like, Hamlet. And she's like, what? And he's like,

• 3:54Griffin McElroy?

  Uh.

• 3:55Travis McElroy?

  I said, Hamnet. Which, what? I said Hamnet.

• 4:01Griffin McElroy?

  Ha- Hamnet.

• 4:01Travis McElroy?

  And that's the name of our, that's the boy's name now. I would like to name, if I may.

• 4:06Travis McElroy?

  It's a, it's a family name.

• 4:09Travis McElroy?

  For a while now.

• 4:09Travis McElroy?

  Hamnet. It's a family name that I came up with because my father used to catch hams.

• 4:16Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 4:16Travis McElroy?

  In a net. He was a ham fisherman.

• 4:18Griffin McElroy?

  And that's real. It would be as if Stan Lee, younger Stan Lee walks out of the hospital, holding his little bundle of joints and everyone, I'd like you to meet Spiberman.

• 4:31Griffin McElroy?

  This is Spyber Band and he's my beloved son. I I named him after one of my favorite guys. Excelsior.

• 4:39Travis McElroy?

  I'm drunk. It's like, I named him after him, but not really.

• 4:45Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, they said that you shouldn't name kids when you're drunk, but I called this one Spyber Man and I put it on the papers and everything.

• 4:51Travis McElroy?

  I named it close enough to it. It's very obvious, but for some reason I changed one letter.

• 4:58Griffin McElroy?

  Just so fucking wild.

• 4:59Travis McElroy?

  This is my son Excelsior.

• 5:02Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I haven't I haven't seen the movie. I assume it's just two hours of a man named Hamlet walking around going, ah. Can't believe this. Oh, man. Not again. Everybody loves this play.

• 5:12Travis McElroy?

  I believe it's pronounced Hamlet. No, I, yeah, no, I get that. I get that a lot, but dad put him in in there because he's a wordsmith or some fuck. I don't know.

• 5:22Travis McElroy?

  God bless him. Play from Something Rotten Trav? What's the name of the fake show in Something Rotten?

• 5:28Travis McElroy?

  I don't know. Omelette.

• 5:31Travis McElroy?

  I'm kind of a jock.

• 5:32Griffin McElroy?

  Omelette. Oh, it's hilarious. Hilarious stuff. I just. Love Shakespeare. I love Shakespeare and I love all of his stuff. It's cool that this movie came out and it's gonna help old Hamlet Shakespeare's SEO, certainly.

• 5:47Travis McElroy?

  Oh, yeah.

• 5:47Griffin McElroy?

  I think we're gonna get a lot fewer auto corrections like, um, did you mean the great, the great tragedy Hamlet?

• 5:54Travis McElroy?

  It feels like a secret bowl to Shakespeare in Love, but that's only based off of the three seconds that I accidentally saw on a TikTok. And I was like, is this Shakespeare in Love? But no, it's Hamlet.

• 6:06Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, three seconds of Shakespeare in Love or three seconds of Hamlet?

• 6:09Travis McElroy?

  I saw three seconds of Hamlet.

• 6:11Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, I thought you were saying like, I'm too cool for Shakespeare in Love because I used to work at the great bards like.

• 6:15Travis McElroy?

  No, no, no, Shakespeare in Love rules. I'm saying there's a moment where Jeffrey Rush says, the show must, and then someone says, go on. And you're like, that's how they came up with it. It's brilliant.

• 6:27Griffin McElroy?

  That happens in Hamlet?

• 6:28Travis McElroy?

  No.

• 6:29Griffin McElroy?

  It happens in in Something Rotten. Damn it.

• 6:31Travis McElroy?

  No, it happens in Shakespeare in Love.

• 6:33Griffin McElroy?

  They gotta stop making movies about Shakespeare.

• 6:35Travis McElroy?

  And then Dan Aykroyd and Tom Hanks are hanging out and they fight a big snake. No, that's Dragnet. Sorry.

• 6:41Griffin McElroy?

  God damn.

• 6:42Travis McElroy?

  Dragnet, the movie based on the TV show of the similar name. Which one? Sorry. I don't know if Hamlet is about Hamlet or William Shakespeare.

• 6:52Travis McElroy?

  Well, it's about, is William Shakespeare in it? Is there an old?

• 6:57Griffin McElroy?

  He better fucking not be. I'll kick his ass. If I see that dude, I'm gonna kick his ass.

• 7:01Travis McElroy?

  Wow. Wow.

• 7:03Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, man. If I see, yeah, dude.

• 7:05Travis McElroy?

  Sheesh.

• 7:06Travis McElroy?

  If you see him on the movie screen, you're gonna take his ass.

• 7:10Travis McElroy?

  You're gonna say, kid, stay seated.

• 7:12Griffin McElroy?

  I do that. You know how heated I get and I have like real temper problems when it comes to people who wrong me. And if I do see Shakespeare on a screen fictionalized being played by an actor, the real guy, whatever, I will go in there and kick his ass, purple rose and Kairos.

• 7:26Travis McElroy?

  Justin, I want to say that in your little short vignette of a scene you did there, were you imagining that Griffin has taken his nine-year-old and four-year-old son to go see Hamlet?

• 7:38Griffin McElroy?

  It's, I bet it's okay. I bet it's suitable for work.

• 7:41Travis McElroy?

  Scene, both scene and vignette were very generous there, Trav. Thank you so much for that. Yeah, it was in that. Guys, I'll be honest with you. From the moment, from the moment you said Hamlet, I have been imagining an animated film about a pig Shakespeare.

• 7:57Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, like Spider Ham, yeah.

• 7:58Travis McElroy?

  Nothing you're saying is erasing my pig Hamlet from my mind. It's just there.

• 8:05Travis McElroy?

  I love, Justin, in your brain.

• 8:07Travis McElroy?

  In my mind, he was seeing Hamlet starring Seth Rogen as Hamlet. You know what I mean? Like I was, that's what I was seeing.

• 8:15Travis McElroy?

  They wanted to make an animated film about Shakespeare and they took the name Hamlet and they said, no, no, no, we gotta funny it up. Hamnet.

• 8:24Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 8:24Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 8:25Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, so the movie apparently, okay, guys, the movie starts. A written prologue states that in Stratford, Renaissance, England, Hamnet and Hamlet were considered the same name. I imagine this is like a

• 8:37Travis McElroy?

  There's no way.

• 8:38Griffin McElroy?

  Return of Emperor Palpatine sort of crawl like, hey, listen up, you funny, hey chuckle fucks, before you guys start busting on your podcast, you should know that they used to say these names pretty much the same way.

• 8:50Travis McElroy?

  Was Hamnet a nickname for Hamlet?

• 8:53Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, dude. Sometimes they would just swap sounds around. That's why he came up with so many goddamn words. He's a great bard. But I'll kick his ass if I do say that.

• 9:01Travis McElroy?

  I know, Griffin. I get it.

• 9:02Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, man. I work in the defense industry and routinely have to travel to military bases for my work. I'm also an avid disc golfer and love playing new courses. A surprising number of, what?

• 9:14Griffin McElroy?

  Just that's awesome that those two things are true, but that's awesome.

• 9:17Travis McElroy?

  It's cool. I bet that overlap is bigger than you think.

• 9:21Griffin McElroy?

  You think so? Between disc golf and the military?

• 9:24Travis McElroy?

  Defense contractors? Yeah.

• 9:27Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I guess so.

• 9:28Travis McElroy?

  You have to travel a lot. I bet, I bet you want like any common ground, right? For people that travel a lot, I bet just like having something where you can bond with people. Uh, I'm also in a lot of things.

• 9:37Travis McElroy?

  A lot of things that fly through the air, a lot about trajectory.

• 9:41Travis McElroy?

  A lot about UFOs.

• 9:43Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, shorts. You can wear shorts while you do it.

• 9:46Travis McElroy?

  Surprising number of bases have disc golf courses on base, often right in the middle of everything, which presents a dilemma. How do I go out and rip discs after having these serious military meetings? That's from Desperate to Disc in Orlando.

• 9:59Griffin McElroy?

  I don't understand why this is a problem and not an incredible opportunity. Because if you're out there, fucking Tony Stark, and you're selling huge bazookas, or whatever it is I'm assuming that you do, I just assume it's huge bazookas.

• 10:13Travis McElroy?

  Or huge bazongas.

• 10:15Griffin McElroy?

  Huge bazongas, huge bazookas, and you say-

• 10:18Travis McElroy?

  Jason Manzukas.

• 10:20Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, you're ripping zukas out there and people are like, how do I know I'm getting a good deal on these 20 bazookas you're selling me? And then you turn around and fucking-

• 10:28Travis McElroy?

  Ace Tron?

• 10:29Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 10:30Travis McElroy?

  Especially if you yell, "Pull!"

• 10:31Griffin McElroy?

  Pull?

• 10:32Travis McElroy?

  When you do it, and then the bazooka goes off, boom, hits that disc.

• 10:36Travis McElroy?

  You say, "Pull!" and a 10-foot-tall Jason Manzukas launches a clay pigeon into the air? Hell yeah, dude.

• 10:41Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, and you hit it with your disc, and the clay pigeon explodes, and you're like, "Now imagine if that was a bazooka."

• 10:48Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, you yeet your disc up into the sky, and someone blasts it with one of these new-

• 10:53Travis McElroy?

  You yeet your ski.

• 10:54Griffin McElroy?

  You yeet your ski, and the, someone shoots a bazooka, blows up the disc, and then they say, "Hell yeah, these are good bazookas." And you say, "What the fuck, man? That was on pace for a, for an ace. It's been so long, I can't believe you blew up my disc. Foul."

• 11:13Travis McElroy?

  First of all, I don't love the idea that someone with this serious of a job is aware of us. And I have tried to be pretty firm about that, that if you do have a real profession or something serious like that, we would prefer you find your entertainment from more erudite sources. I don't like the idea that I'm influencing anyone of import.

• 11:36Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, even subconsciously.

• 11:39Griffin McElroy?

  Email us, tell us that you have a ding dong job.

• 11:41Travis McElroy?

  Yes, please.

• 11:42Griffin McElroy?

  I make my own bowling balls and sell them on Etsy, like that kind of stuff.

• 11:46Travis McElroy?

  Uh, secondly, what's confusing to me about this situation is if you went to here and you started playing disc golf, what if someone else also started doing that and then they wanted to talk to you about it and talking about how you were doing it and comparing it to the way they were doing it?

• 12:05Travis McElroy?

  If you will proceed.

• 12:06Travis McElroy?

  If that's a possibility, how do you even go on the boat base to begin with?

• 12:12Travis McElroy?

  I assume they're not playing disc golf on top of like an aircraft carrier because that would lead to a lot of lost discs.

• 12:19Griffin McElroy?

  Lot of discs floating in the briny.

• 12:20Travis McElroy?

  But 3D printers these days.

• 12:23Travis McElroy?

  That's true.

• 12:24Griffin McElroy?

  What does that mean? Finish, no, finish that sentence.

• 12:25Travis McElroy?

  You can 3D print.

• 12:27Griffin McElroy?

  No, no, Justin, I want Justin to defend, no, I can't believe you fucking bailed him out. He was wibbling.

• 12:32Travis McElroy?

  Print a new disc.

• 12:33Griffin McElroy?

  You pop.

• 12:34Travis McElroy?

  Print a new disc.

• 12:35Travis McElroy?

  He's my brother in print, Griffin. I gotta back him up.

• 12:38Griffin McElroy?

  I know you gotta support a brother.

• 12:39Travis McElroy?

  Just because you're not a brother in Philly. You don't have to come and rain on our parade, you know?

• 12:45Griffin McElroy?

  Filament was the only other 3D printer word I could think of.

• 12:48Travis McElroy?

  I am a PLA pal. I also want to say this, if they put that thing square in the middle of the base, they're so excited when people are using it. You see that sometimes where there's like an aspirational pool table that someone has put in like an office or something and they're like, everyone's gonna use this. And then people are like doing their jobs, like. You would see it like in a firehouse, right? Oh, yeah, there's a fire station. We put a pool table in here and they can relax and do it. They don't want to do that. They want to say-

• 13:16Travis McElroy?

  It's like when you're hosting a holiday party and you take out a tray of appetizers that you're very proud of and set them down. And you expect the gravitational pull of the table. Like, the whole mood should shift.

• 13:28Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 13:29Travis McElroy?

  It's weird that people keep talking. You know what I mean? You kind of want there to be like, hush silence, slowly turn.

• 13:35Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 13:35Travis McElroy?

  Those are pizza rolls. You know, like that you want the moment.

• 13:38Travis McElroy?

  Oh, cool party, cool party.

• 13:40Griffin McElroy?

  Actually, I'm kind of hungry now.

• 13:42Travis McElroy?

  Especially if you bust those out in the middle. Like, that's a good way to get over a lull or an argument. Oh, no, the politics argument is broken out. But guess what I have? Pizza rolls.

• 13:53Travis McElroy?

  No, okay, you know, Travis, no, we're not talking about pizza rolls. We're talking about disc golf. It was a metaphor, man. I don't know why you're still talking about pizza rolls.

• 14:01Griffin McElroy?

  You really hung up on the metaphor pizza rolls.

• 14:04Travis McElroy?

  I do love the idea of like you're negotiating or whatever you're talking. It gets heated and you're like, you know what?

• 14:08Travis McElroy?

  Let's disco.

• 14:09Travis McElroy?

  I think things are getting a little heated. Let's take just like a quick 45 minutes to an hour. I don't know how long a round of disc golf takes.

• 14:17Travis McElroy?

  First person to call it frisbee gets thrown off the boat. Or the ship or the base.

• 14:20Travis McElroy?

  And then we'll, much like the disc.

• 14:22Griffin McElroy?

  Boat, ship, base, whatever it may be. Justin really wants there to be a ship.

• 14:26Travis McElroy?

  And then-

• 14:26Griffin McElroy?

  Justin's like crazy about this ship that he imagined.

• 14:28Travis McElroy?

  Just like a frisbee.

• 14:29Travis McElroy?

  I'm going back through the question to see where aircraft carrier.

• 14:34Travis McElroy?

  Can I finish my joke?

• 14:35Griffin McElroy?

  Please finish, Travis.

• 14:36Travis McElroy?

  Just like a disc will circle back.

• 14:38Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 14:39Griffin McElroy?

  All right, that's good.

• 14:40Travis McElroy?

  Travis, can you do the joke again like a frisbee? Cause I missed it.

• 14:46Travis McElroy?

  Did it go over your head?

• 14:47Travis McElroy?

  Yes.

• 14:47Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, fuck, dude.

• 14:49Travis McElroy?

  Dang.

• 14:49Griffin McElroy?

  Damn.

• 14:50Travis McElroy?

  I'm operating on four hours of sleep.

• 14:53Travis McElroy?

  And what is the temperature?

• 14:54Travis McElroy?

  I didn't have-

• 14:54Travis McElroy?

  What is your temperature right now?

• 14:56Travis McElroy?

  What's the current temperature? 59 degrees in my house. My house was without power for 25 hours while it was under 32 degrees outside. And I'm bringing the heat myself.

• 15:04Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, you are, dude. You're an internal confun- confusion engine.

• 15:10Travis McElroy?

  My rod function engine.

• 15:12Griffin McElroy?

  I'm having a great time.

• 15:13Travis McElroy?

  Griffin's actually lowering his stock in his effort to compliment you. Griffin's getting worse.

• 15:19Travis McElroy?

  I just, I love that support. This is not, this is the opposite of a zero sum game. This is a sum sub game.

• 15:25Travis McElroy?

  I'm a therapist and I also have IBS. Coffee makes it worse, but I need it to stay awake each day. This presents an obvious conundrum. Often I find myself in the middle of a session sipping on my ice mocha and my tummy begins to grumble audibly. I start sweating and let's just say the call of nature becomes undeniable. Up till now, I've been white knuckling it through the rest of the session when this happens, but it definitely detracts from my focus. Thus, how can I maintain the quality of my services and also heed my bowels? And I don't want to read the name of this one, but I will. Am I a shitty therapist?

• 15:58Travis McElroy?

  Do you have an in-office bathroom, like an attached bathroom to your office?

• 16:03Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, I was wondering how in-office it would need to be for it to sort of thread the needle.

• 16:08Travis McElroy?

  Originally, the thing I did picture was a porta potty, but I think that that might be, I mean, okay.

• 16:12Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, that's cool.

• 16:13Travis McElroy?

  It might still work for the idea. Because after they tell you something, you're gonna say, hmm, that's, oh, that's a toughie. I'm gonna have to step into my thinking chamber. And then like you decorate, but if it's a porta potty, you could make it like a TARDIS. And you'd be like, I'm gonna go back to your childhood and observe like how your parents treated you. I'll be right back. And then you're gonna play some loud TARDIS noises to cover what's about to happen.

• 16:41Griffin McElroy?

  Justin's doing the same thing. We, we live, we're the wind beneath your wings in this episode, Travis.

• 16:46Travis McElroy?

  I'm loving it.

• 16:47Travis McElroy?

  Can we pull a dude to get a tire changed?

• 16:52Travis McElroy?

  Thank you.

• 16:53Griffin McElroy?

  You could get, if you got a big enough singing bowl, you could say, hmm, let's try a grounding technique. Close your eyes. No, I'm sorry, you're not shitting into the singing bowl.

• 17:05Travis McElroy?

  How big would this bowl have to be that you could shit in it while they rub it and not know what's up? That's a big bowl, brother.

• 17:11Griffin McElroy?

  No, I'm, I'm pretty sure the singing bowl needs to have its kind of form uninterrupted entirely. You're not supposed to get those things wet.

• 17:20Travis McElroy?

  Stabilization well aware to other, it's gonna, yeah.

• 17:22Griffin McElroy?

  It's gonna throw it off, yeah. I'm trying to get that god tone and I'm trying to vibe with some browners. Not the brown, no. I'm saying with a big enough singing bowl, you clang. That thing's gonna be going for like four or five minutes, which is should be enough time for you to get next door blast off and get back.

• 17:40Travis McElroy?

  Hey, if this thing starts to slow down, you just gotta clang it again. All right. Or your meditation is gonna be all fucked up and you'll have ruined it.

• 17:47Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, man. If I had a singing bowl as part of my professional work environment and skillset, I would never let anybody touch that.

• 17:55Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, man.

• 17:56Griffin McElroy?

  My kids would always be coming in like, let me hit the singing bowl. And it's like, you guys don't even understand how to get the right stuff out of this thing.

• 18:03Travis McElroy?

  Wouldn't it be kick ass if part of podcasting was like, just once in a while, you're like, hold on. Boom, and just hit the singing bowl and everybody just had to shut the fuck up. Just like, let the ball do it. Let the ball do its thing. I don't know if you clang a singing, is that what you do with a singing bowl? Just fucking whack it with a mallet or something?

• 18:21Griffin McElroy?

  I don't think you're, I don't think you're supposed to, I don't think you're getting gong action out of this thing.

• 18:26Travis McElroy?

  I think it depends on what kind of music you're playing.

• 18:28Travis McElroy?

  That's true, Trav.

• 18:28Travis McElroy?

  You know, if it's scream metal that you're wanted to sing, I think you could do it.

• 18:33Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 18:34Travis McElroy?

  Could you incorporate, maybe get another like therapist in the practice that you're like, you can trade these kinds of favors with and you'd like slip them a text? And then they pop in and they're like, hey, it seems like this guy is pretty well sorted. Um, we've got a real, this guy's childhood was real messed up. I'm gonna need you to come over here for like five or 10 minutes and help me through this one. And maybe bring a book.

• 19:01Griffin McElroy?

  For me.

• 19:04Griffin McElroy?

  Personally.

• 19:05Travis McElroy?

  What, Trav, maybe the second therapist looks a lot like you? And you can get them to look away for a moment.

• 19:14Travis McElroy?

  And they traveled there in the Ternus and it's you from the future.

• 19:18Griffin McElroy?

  You guys, you guys.

• 19:19Travis McElroy?

  When you've already pooped.

• 19:20Griffin McElroy?

  You guys always bring magic into this. If we're gonna bring magic into this.

• 19:24Travis McElroy?

  Griffin, the doctor isn't magic, it's science based.

• 19:27Travis McElroy?

  Apologies for trying to touch ours over here, pal.

• 19:31Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, well. The doctor gave me a special machine and when I press it, it makes the poop leave my body with a teleportation.

• 19:39Travis McElroy?

  You should have a second therapist that looks like you in the building in case you gotta go do something. That's all.

• 19:45Griffin McElroy?

  That you teleport, that you teleport in?

• 19:47Travis McElroy?

  Sure.

• 19:47Griffin McElroy?

  Fictionally?

• 19:48Travis McElroy?

  You need that?

• 19:48Travis McElroy?

  You, okay, you're gonna have them lay on the couch like I assume all therapists do, but I've never been asked to. And I should probably find a new therapist because I've never gotten to lay on the couch and talk. And as they're talking, you're gonna slowly turn the lights down to a very soothing level. You're gonna play some white noise and turn that up a little bit. You're gonna maybe like pump some aromatherapy in the air. Wait till they fall asleep.

• 20:10Griffin McElroy?

  Good night.

• 20:11Travis McElroy?

  And then you can go poop.

• 20:12Griffin McElroy?

  Sleepy time. Here's that 432 hertz.

• 20:14Travis McElroy?

  You can surf, brother.

• 20:16Travis McElroy?

  If you can somehow. Get the other person to poop. Then you.

• 20:24Griffin McElroy?

  With scarecrow-esque brain tricks.

• 20:28Travis McElroy?

  Will somehow be such a supportive ass.

• 20:32Griffin McElroy?

  A huge, huge ethical violation.

• 20:35Travis McElroy?

  I too will go to the bathroom. Let's both take a bath.

• 20:37Griffin McElroy?

  I'm very impofed.

• 20:39Travis McElroy?

  Other person to want to use the bathroom more than you. That's what the water feature is there for, right? If somebody's gonna pee, wanna pee, it's gonna be the patient. I actually have a set of stalls where we can continue this conversation.

• 20:51Travis McElroy?

  Let it out. Those are toxins.

• 20:52Griffin McElroy?

  Here to help me.

• 20:53Travis McElroy?

  I'm a professional. I'm a bad therapist. Those are toxins. Let them out.

• 20:57Travis McElroy?

  Those are toxins. I don't know how any of this works.

• 21:01Griffin McElroy?

  Here to help me is a professional illusionist, Darren Brown. He's just gonna say some words that are gonna make some things start happening inside your body.

• 21:10Travis McElroy?

  And it was all your idea.

• 21:11Griffin McElroy?

  But it was all your idea. But as long as you're going, I might dip out too.

• 21:16Travis McElroy?

  Whoops, I also listen to Darren Brown.

• 21:19Travis McElroy?

  Oh no.

• 21:19Travis McElroy?

  Oh no.

• 21:20Griffin McElroy?

  Oh no. Whoa oh. Damn it, he got me again. How annoying must it be to be at the mall, walking and talking with your friends? And then all of a sudden you just put both your hands up in the air and you look around and sure enough, Darren Brown's up there doing one of his specials and he's like, "I got you all fucking again, you idiots. God, it's easy to make you ants do whatever the fuck I want."

• 21:40Travis McElroy?

  This is a socialist experiment or whatever the fuck.

• 21:42Travis McElroy?

  If you worked for Darren Brown, like around like pay negotiation time, you're like, Darren, I think I deserve a little bit more. And he's like, look behind you. And then you look and you turn back and he's gone. You know, he convinces you that you actually didn't need a pay raise the whole time.

• 21:59Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 21:59Travis McElroy?

  He's like, how much do you think you're worth? And you're like, uh, I don't know, a dollar less an hour that I'm making now. What the fuck?

• 22:05Griffin McElroy?

  What the fuck? How did you?

• 22:07Travis McElroy?

  Why did I say that?

• 22:08Griffin McElroy?

  Don't even sweat the cost of living, boss. Why are my hands over my head? Stop it, Darren. God damn it.

• 22:15Travis McElroy?

  I'm a high school teacher. Earlier this semester, I elected to cut my own hair. It wasn't that bad.

• 22:20Griffin McElroy?

  Man.

• 22:21Travis McElroy?

  But one of my students runs a barber shop business out of his garage. And when he saw my hair, he wordlessly placed his business card on my desk.

• 22:29Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, awesome. That's cool.

• 22:31Travis McElroy?

  Now it's time for a cut again. And after seeing his portfolio, I agreed to schedule an appointment with him. Great. However, my partner recently mentioned that for the duration of his haircut experience, I will have to figure out topics that make good small talk. What do I talk with about a student who is good at hair, but who is not particularly high performing in my class? Should I avoid topics related to school? Should I use it as an opportunity to enrich his academic life? That's from overdue in a new do in Omaha.

• 22:55Travis McElroy?

  Can I just say, I love when this happens where like the first two thirds of the question, I'm like, oh, I see what I see the problem here and what the social. And then you're like, and that didn't bother me at all, but I will have to speak with them. What do I say? And I'm like, I thought this was going to be about the hair critique.

• 23:16Griffin McElroy?

  There's some extraordinary power dynamics that work here, huh? Because you're the teacher and they are the student. Your, their academic life is you hold it in your hands. And, but also in this moment, they're the one sort of holding the keys. My keys, I mean scissors. I didn't need to put as many metaphors in there as I, I did.

• 23:37Travis McElroy?

  Well, you could cut the thread of their fate, just as they cut the hair of your head.

• 23:44Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Or just to put it simply in the classroom, you're in charge in the, in the barber chair. They're in charge and that's complicated, but don't undersell this situation. This is a toughie.

• 23:53Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 23:54Griffin McElroy?

  It's a tough knock.

• 23:54Travis McElroy?

  And I guarantee you, this student is also having some version of this. We all, we all, we all think connection's a good idea until we're face to face with it. You know, or we're staring down the barrel of it. And it's like, well, I have to connect. Time to prepare for that. There's also, oh my God, there's another thing. Hey, let, question asker, let me give you something else to worry about. If this was wordlessly exchanged, there was no talk of cost or price or money exchange? Are you gonna have to negotiate price too? Oh.

• 24:27Griffin McElroy?

  I thought it was a bribe.

• 24:28Travis McElroy?

  No, I'm saying that are they doing it? Out of the goodness of their heart as you're their professor and you needed some help? Or are they networking their business?

• 24:38Travis McElroy?

  Trav, I will say that sounds challenging yet, but not particularly funny. So I think that you are probably right that that is a problem. I don't necessarily want to unpack here, Trav.

• 24:49Griffin McElroy?

  I wanted to explore the bribery route a little bit because it does feel like maybe this is a.

• 24:53Travis McElroy?

  I'm getting panicky thinking about having to figure out what to pay this kid and it is not my problem.

• 24:58Griffin McElroy?

  I can tell, I can tell.

• 24:59Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So let's take that, rewind it back. And go back to. There is something about someone wordlessly handing you anything that feels threatening to me.

• 25:12Griffin McElroy?

  They should, they should. A business card is one of the most threatening things to hand to someone wordlessly.

• 25:16Travis McElroy?

  You assume that on the back of it is a number that is either very good or very bad for you.

• 25:22Travis McElroy?

  Yes, correct.

• 25:22Travis McElroy?

  You know, whatever. It's a phone number of someone that can help you, or it's a number that something costs that you don't have or they'll kill you.

• 25:29Griffin McElroy?

  Yes.

• 25:29Travis McElroy?

  Something like that.

• 25:30Griffin McElroy?

  What if it's like a, what if it's like a cool? Embossed gold sort of business card with just like a symbol on the front of it. Uh, like some sort of like secret symbol with scissors or whatever in it. And then you turn it around and there's just an address.

• 25:45Travis McElroy?

  Oh shit. So this is, uh, it's like Kingsman.

• 25:50Griffin McElroy?

  It's like a squid game.

• 25:51Travis McElroy?

  It's like a squid, squid game Kingsman.

• 25:54Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 25:54Travis McElroy?

  Kings game, squid man.

• 25:55Travis McElroy?

  I feel like we need to.

• 25:57Travis McElroy?

  Nicole Squidman.

• 25:58Travis McElroy?

  Re, re embrace silence. And I think that it's not something that we do a lot on this podcast for obvious reasons, I think. Being an audio show and everything.

• 26:09Travis McElroy?

  Let's try it.

• 26:09Travis McElroy?

  But I, no, silence is a covenant. You know what I mean? And I think that we, we forget sometimes that if, if you're sitting there thinking what to say and the other person's sitting there thinking what to say. You're agreeing on silence and to break it is to break a covenant. You know what I mean? Maybe we just embrace the, maybe we just embrace it. Maybe just embrace that covenant of silence.

• 26:32Travis McElroy?

  I'm going to say something that I know you guys will disagree with.

• 26:34Travis McElroy?

  I love that Travis. Don't, it's never stopped you before, man.

• 26:37Travis McElroy?

  Breaking social norm. When I get my haircut, I say, is it all right if I pop my AirPods in? I pop my AirPods in.

• 26:44Griffin McElroy?

  I don't agree with this.

• 26:45Travis McElroy?

  And here's the thing.

• 26:46Griffin McElroy?

  You called it exactly.

• 26:48Travis McElroy?

  You called it exactly.

• 26:49Travis McElroy?

  I am of the opinion that they also don't want to talk to me. And so this.

• 26:54Travis McElroy?

  No, that's incorrect. Now, that is a huge guess because that's very person dependent. There are people running around that just love to talk to people. I've met.

• 27:02Travis McElroy?

  I've been going to the same hairstylist for eight years. We've developed a mutual understanding with one another.

• 27:08Griffin McElroy?

  They understand, Justin. I can't believe in the same minute that you established that silence is a covenant.

• 27:13Travis McElroy?

  Silence is a covenant that does not need technology to be reinforcing it because that's a barrier, right? That silence in that case is a wall. I'm saying.

• 27:20Griffin McElroy?

  What are you cranking?

• 27:21Travis McElroy?

  What?

• 27:21Griffin McElroy?

  What are you listening to? What are you listening to in those pods?

• 27:24Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Uh, usually videos dissecting, well, maybe videos dissecting horror video games that I'll never play.

• 27:33Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 27:34Travis McElroy?

  They're too scary for me to play, but I do want to know what happens in them.

• 27:37Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Hey, Travis, you should try hand him a bud next time. Hand him a bud. Pop a bud in there and have a shared experience.

• 27:43Travis McElroy?

  I thought you meant like a Budweiser.

• 27:46Griffin McElroy?

  No, I mean, crack a bud if you want to, but like pop out, pop out a bud from one of your ears, pop it in there. She'd be like, you know about fucking Freddie Fazbear? Cut my hair.

• 27:55Travis McElroy?

  Cut my hair in two pieces. This is a YouTube short. Let's go to the money zone.

• 28:06Griffin McElroy?

  Travis, don't hide behind your microphone after fucking nailing a landing like that, dude. Do not get sheepish when you smash and slam and dunk that fucking.

• 28:15Travis McElroy?

  He's, he feels guilty about the extent to which he's running the show today. I was being impish.

• 28:21Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, you're a fucking, you're, you're Allen Iverson hanging from the rim with a coquettish little grin on your face. You just fucking got nasty on it, dude.

• 28:30Travis McElroy?

  Now, let's go. Now, we are actually going to go to the money zone.

• 28:42Travis McElroy?

  Griffin?

• 28:43Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 28:44Travis McElroy?

  Can I tell you my problem I've been having?

• 28:47Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, just one?

• 28:48Travis McElroy?

  No, just the main one that I'm thinking about right now that's really boiling my noodle.

• 28:53Griffin McElroy?

  Ew.

• 28:54Travis McElroy?

  I signed up for so many random apps and websites and services and everything.

• 29:01Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 29:02Travis McElroy?

  I'm losing a million and a half dollars a year.

• 29:06Griffin McElroy?

  Whoa, a year?

• 29:08Travis McElroy?

  A year.

• 29:09Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, so this number you made up is dramatic, but it's also at the same time like kind of conservative. I thought you were gonna go silly like 50, 50 million a week or something, but like a million and a half a year is just on the border of believable based on what I know about your financial responsibility.

• 29:25Travis McElroy?

  I made it up. Yeah, I made it up. There's a number I made up because there would be-

• 29:30Griffin McElroy?

  Travis, Rocket Money's gonna save your life, buddy. You gotta get on it. Rocket Money is an app. It's a personal finance app and it does a bunch of stuff. Uh, I, I, I would say the thing that is, uh, most frequently useful for me, and it sounds like for Travis, is that it will go through your spending and it will find subscriptions you forgot about. Uh, like any, maybe you pay for twice and you forgot about it and it will help you cancel those, help you lower your bills, help you track your spending. Uh, so, so that you can reach your financial goals and grow your savings. Uh, it's, it's, it's a really truly great idea and it works super great. They've saved users over 2.5 billion dollars, including over 880 million,

• 30:11Griffin McElroy?

  which is more, Trav, than one and a half, uh, in canceled subscriptions alone. That's, their 10 million members save up to $740 a year when they use out all the app's premium features.

• 30:20Travis McElroy?

  That's less though.

• 30:22Griffin McElroy?

  That, that sounds like maybe though you're gonna be an outlier. It sounds like on average.

• 30:27Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, it's an average.

• 30:29Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, so huge is your waste that you might bump that average up a significant amount.

• 30:36Travis McElroy?

  That would be amazing.

• 30:37Griffin McElroy?

  So cancel your unwanted subscriptions, Travis, please, Jesus, I'm worried about you and reach your financial goal.

• 30:43Travis McElroy?

  I'm worried about me too. I was gonna fake my own death, but I'm really glad.

• 30:47Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, cause you know why? It's expensive.

• 30:49Travis McElroy?

  Fuck.

• 30:50Griffin McElroy?

  Instead, cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash mybrothertoday. That's rocketmoney.com slash mybrothertoday. Rocketmoney.com slash mybrother.

• 31:01Travis McElroy?

  I'm gonna do that instead. I think that that's better.

• 31:04Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, cool.

• 31:05Travis McElroy?

  Hey, everybody, not for jokes, when my, uh, house lost power and it was cold outside and my power's out for 25 hours. Yes, of course, I was worried about my kids and, you know, my wife and I, um, but we made sure to find an Airbnb we could stay in for the night where we could have our pets there because pets are a member of your family. You love them. You want what's best for them. You want to take care of them. And that's not just in emergency situations. That's every day, baby.

• 31:37Griffin McElroy?

  Every day, you gotta pamper that. Get little kitty.

• 31:41Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, I was wondering what you were about to say.

• 31:43Griffin McElroy?

  I wasn't brave enough. Did you see the, did you see the courage fail?

• 31:46Travis McElroy?

  I heard, I heard your tinto.

• 31:50Griffin McElroy?

  Justin's, Justin had to run to a quick errand. Uh, and so it's just me and Trav here and we shared a moment of fear and vulnerability in that moment when I almost, I said pamper your, and then I wasn't brave enough to say a different word about the kitty cat. Um, so, but you do need to take good care of them and Smalls helps, Smalls helps you do that. Gosh, we need to get to saying the name of these businesses way faster, man.

• 32:13Travis McElroy?

  Smalls cat food is protein packed and made with preservative free ingredients that you'd find in your fridge, delivered right to your door. And starting with Smalls is easy. Uh, you share your cat's diet, health, food preferences, all that stuff. And they're gonna put together a personalized sampler for your kitty cat so that it can choose the ones that it likes best. And after switching to Smalls, 88% of cat owners reported overall health improvements and that's a big deal from Smalls food.

• 32:42Griffin McElroy?

  Justin has been using Smalls for his two precious angels. Uh, and

• 32:48Travis McElroy?

  They like him better.

• 32:49Griffin McElroy?

  They do like him better. I think that's the main takeaway. Like, they look great. Their, their coat is, is shiny and waxing. Um, but I think the big takeaway is that they just seem to enjoy being around Justin more.

• 33:02Travis McElroy?

  When we use, when we would visit, they used to pretty performatively display how much they didn't like, like they would see us there and they'd be like, hey, watch this. And then they would like cuss him out and like say mean things.

• 33:16Griffin McElroy?

  They'd be like.

• 33:18Speaker 04

  And you would know like that they said that to like they did it an inch away from his face. It's undeniable what he did.

• 33:24Travis McElroy?

  But now they like tolerate him and like occasionally even show him affection.

• 33:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, sometimes they'll get close to his face this time and be like, cool dude. And they'll say, at him real close. So I guess, what are you waiting for? Give your cat the food they deserve for a limited time because you're a my Bimbam listener. Get 60% off your first order plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com slash my brother. One last time, that's 60% off your first order plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com slash my brother. Smalls, pamper that. Do it.

• 34:00Speaker 04

  Baby kitty precious fuck.

• 34:03Travis McElroy?

  You'll get it.

• 34:07Speaker 04

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• 34:50Speaker 05

  Hello?

• 34:51Speaker 06

  Hello, I'm calling on behalf of the Beef and Dairy Network Podcast.

• 34:54Speaker 05

  No, I'm sorry. No sales calls. Goodbye.

• 34:56Speaker 06

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• 35:01Speaker 05

  I don't know what a Josie Long is. And anyway, I'm about to take my mother into town to see Phantom of the Opera at last. You are wasting my time and even worse, my mother's time. She only has so much time left. She's 98 years old. She's only expected to live for another 20 or 30 years. Mother, get your shoes on. Yes, the orthopedic ones. I don't want to have to carry you home again, do I?

• 35:19Speaker 06

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• 35:20Speaker 05

  Mother, you're not wearing that, are you? It's very revealing, mother. This is a musical theatre, not a Parisian bordello.

• 35:27Speaker 06

  Simply go to MaximumFun.org.

• 35:29Speaker 05

  I'm reaching for my Samsung Galaxy four as we speak. Mother, mother, not that hat.

• 35:35Travis McElroy?

  Uh, great news, guys. Great, great, great, great, great, great news. Our hero is back.

• 35:41Speaker 04

  What?

• 35:42Travis McElroy?

  From, oh, oh, sorry. I gotta do the intro. I forgot.

• 35:47Travis McElroy?

  Yes.

• 35:54Travis McElroy?

  I want a munch.

• 35:59Travis McElroy?

  I want to munch.

• 36:04Travis McElroy?

  Welcome to Munch Squad. Podcast, I'm the podcast, profiling the latest and greatest in brand eating. One of our favorite heroes of recent history in, uh, fast food advertising is back. You may remember him from the, uh, do you suffer from need?

• 36:21Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 36:21Travis McElroy?

  Uh, commercial.

• 36:23Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 36:23Travis McElroy?

  He is a giant buffalo with wings.

• 36:26Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 36:27Travis McElroy?

  Truly.

• 36:27Travis McElroy?

  I can't remember who he works for though.

• 36:31Travis McElroy?

  He works for Buffalo. Yeah, it's weird, huh? No, he works for Buffalo Wild Wings and they're in a new, uh, a new promo. It's the first ever holiday campaign for BW3s. Not a brand that you think of necessarily when it comes to the Yuletide.

• 36:46Travis McElroy?

  Is the theme of it, is your uncle in town?

• 36:50Travis McElroy?

  Maybe. Please, do you know, this is where, uh, that's where, uh, when, when, uh, we were in, I was in Cincinnati filming Till Death Do Us Blart. And afterwards I had to wait for, for, uh, uh, uh, get some food. And I had my, my pal, Tim Bat with him and had to take, uh, do an American eatery. And where did I choose? That's right. Buffalo Wild.

• 37:10Travis McElroy?

  He's going to B-Dubs.

• 37:11Travis McElroy?

  Dude, I went to B-Dubs because that's the American experience right there. No problem.

• 37:14Travis McElroy?

  It truly is.

• 37:15Travis McElroy?

  Um, all right, truly. Now, so we're gonna watch this ad.

• 37:19Travis McElroy?

  If you haven't listened to this year's Death Blart, it's great. And the video's up on YouTube. It was an absolute treat.

• 37:25Griffin McElroy?

  We got to spend some quality time with Tim Bat and Guy remotely.

• 37:28Travis McElroy?

  You ready?

• 37:29Travis McElroy?

  Yep.

• 37:32Speaker 07

  And that's why Mrs. Claus is on the naughty list.

• 37:37Speaker 07

  Santa, you bad, bad man. Ooh, hey, this Buffalo Wild Wings pick six is a real jolly miracle. A meal for two for $19.99? Nothing better. Dude, off my wings, Blitzen. Oh, his widow plant's all upset. Hey, knock it off, antler clown.

• 37:54Travis McElroy?

  So this is a good time to pause. Uh, it is, I will.

• 37:57Griffin McElroy?

  It's a, it's a great time to pause because there's been like five things. One. What's a jolly miracle?

• 38:02Travis McElroy?

  It's a jolly miracle.

• 38:04Griffin McElroy?

  Santa says that like it's a thing that any of us have ever thought about before, like a Christmas, like a happy Christmas miracle.

• 38:10Travis McElroy?

  I think it's a minced oath, Griffin, where maybe he was gonna say, it's a, it's a fucking miracle. Miracle.

• 38:16Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 38:17Travis McElroy?

  Shit, dude.

• 38:18Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, interesting.

• 38:19Travis McElroy?

  Fucking miracle. It's also, the entire ad is presented in a Rankin-Bass style. So we are being treated to fuzzy burgers, fuzzy wings, and fuzzy cokes. Each more decrepit looking than the last. I really hate looking at these yarn versions of food, guys. It's hitting bad for me.

• 38:36Griffin McElroy?

  Dude, think about the, the mouthfeel of one of those linton sort of buffalo wings. Yeah.

• 38:43Travis McElroy?

  Are we not gonna talk about how they start it with the punchline of a joke where Santa says, and that's why Mrs. Claus is on the naughty list? And they're like, yeah, this is, this is what we want to lead off with.

• 38:54Griffin McElroy?

  This is Santa for 2025. May we?

• 38:57Travis McElroy?

  Just a run. Okay.

• 39:02Speaker 07

  Fuck. How am I going to fly my sleigh? It's not like there's a flying mythical beast just hanging around with nothing to do. You know I can't fly, right?

• 39:15Speaker 07

  Come on, Hank, you're scratching my sleigh. I told you I can't fly. I can't do it. My wings are decorative. You have to believe, Hank. Believe. Oh. I'm doing it, Papa. Little Hank is doing it. I mean.

• 39:34Travis McElroy?

  What's happening?

• 39:35Speaker 07

  I told you I can fly. Happy holidays to all, and to all, go to Buffalo Wild Wings.

• 39:43Travis McElroy?

  You heard him.

• 39:47Griffin McElroy?

  I don't, I don't want my kids seeing.

• 39:50Travis McElroy?

  Visually that you need to address before we move on because like, that was a, a lot to take in. And it was like, it's surprisingly well executed, I think at least. It's adorable.

• 40:01Griffin McElroy?

  Sure. For, yeah, from a visual aesthetic standpoint.

• 40:03Travis McElroy?

  The thoughts are horrible.

• 40:04Griffin McElroy?

  I think it's, I think there's an, the thoughts and ideas are horrible and there's an inherent sort of.

• 40:10Travis McElroy?

  Failure to communicate here that is inherent, I think, to the nature of Buffalo Wild Wings trying to get a hand on the holiday ball. I simply don't think it's your purview and I don't think

• 40:21Travis McElroy?

  This is their first ever one. They're trying to get a leg in. Maybe they're making it a holiday thing. But here's, this is the thing though, Jamie, um, there's nothing in this that is specific to Buffalo Wild Wings besides the fact.

• 40:37Travis McElroy?

  That they're eating a Buffalo.

• 40:38Travis McElroy?

  That they're eating a Buffalo Wild Wings and it's a buffalo with wings, but even that could have been a different Buffalo wing.

• 40:45Travis McElroy?

  Maybe this will help Travis.

• 40:46Travis McElroy?

  Restaurant.

• 40:47Travis McElroy?

  There's no other ones.

• 40:47Travis McElroy?

  I'm right there.

• 40:48Travis McElroy?

  Wingstop, I guess, and Quaker State and Lube.

• 40:52Travis McElroy?

  Is that it? I probably, there's probably others. It's a good point. Secondly, not, not any other Buffalo Wild place has the first ever blind box inspired by the ads, which is available exclusively to Buffalo Wild Wings Rewards members.

• 41:08Travis McElroy?

  The camp. Is it? Okay. You surprised by like, what, what kind of wings are you getting? Is that what you mean?

• 41:13Travis McElroy?

  They, they say in the, in the release, it says the brand's iconic buffalo with wings is brought into the holiday spotlight in a stop motion short that's styled like a 1950's Christmas special. Definitely, definitely. Um, the story opens on Christmas Eve inside of Buffalo Wild Wings. Hold on, I just need to double check this.

• 41:35Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, okay. Yeah, Rudolph the red nosed reindeer definitely came out in 1964. So like, I don't know what they're talking about. Uh, Hank and Santa share a pick six meal for two. And then they describe the, the ad, which is packed with humor, heart and unmistakable B-dubs.

• 41:51Travis McElroy?

  Heart. Let's touch on heart.

• 41:53Travis McElroy?

  Let's come back to heart.

• 41:54Travis McElroy?

  This is fucked.

• 41:56Travis McElroy?

  It's humor, heart and unmistakable B-dubs energy. Okay. I'll, I will grant you the former. I will say that it made me, there's an energy to this commercial that felt, uh, threatening and like very masculine. And so I will also grant you that it does have big B-dubs energy.

• 42:15Travis McElroy?

  They also showcased just two people getting randomly drunk before work and getting in a fight. So I don't know. I, I don't, they're not people, the reindeer.

• 42:23Travis McElroy?

  So it's the heart.

• 42:24Travis McElroy?

  So it's Justin, then it's animals getting drunk in a B, in a Buffalo Wild Wings. They're not drunk. Animals came in and got drunk.

• 42:33Griffin McElroy?

  Juice, listen, those reindeer were fucking faded. And I know that you have trouble sometimes sort of, you know, giving these places the benefit of the doubt, but those two reindeer were like fucking zooted out.

• 42:46Travis McElroy?

  I mean.

• 42:48Griffin McElroy?

  Uh, I don't want to see this hairy food.

• 42:50Travis McElroy?

  I don't blame you, but like, they got sodas. They clearly have sodas. They're not drunk. They're just fighting because they're dickheads.

• 42:59Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 43:00Travis McElroy?

  A random fight breaks out between two animals in a Buffalo Wild Wings and they were like, that's big Buffalo Wild Wings energy.

• 43:08Griffin McElroy?

  I like this cute Hank though. I like this cute fuzzy Hank. He's way less scary than the other guy which spoke.

• 43:14Travis McElroy?

  I mean, he would almost have to be. To bring the creative. Why does Santa say fuck? I guess is my question. I need to read this paragraph because it sucks ass. To bring the creative to life for fans. That's how it starts.

• 43:28Griffin McElroy?

  Woo, fuck you.

• 43:29Travis McElroy?

  Ooh. Oh, I love to hear the creative referred to like a.

• 43:34Travis McElroy?

  Are Buffalo Wild Wings imagineers?

• 43:37Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 43:37Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 43:38Travis McElroy?

  I love to hear the creative referred to like it's a resource in Warcraft.

• 43:41Travis McElroy?

  Bring the, I've got 200 of the creative leash.

• 43:46Travis McElroy?

  Buffalo.

• 43:47Travis McElroy?

  Put it through the mill. Put it through the mill and turn it into content.

• 43:51Travis McElroy?

  Buffalo Wild Wings is introducing a limited edition Hank the Halls blind box for $20. Available December 10th exclusively to new and existing Buffalo Wild Wings rewards members. They specify new and existing. Presumably it's not, uh, uh, offered to lapsed or banned Buffalo Wild Wings rewards members.

• 44:12Griffin McElroy?

  Do you think there's a restaurant on earth that has a longer list of banned?

• 44:19Griffin McElroy?

  Do Buffalo Wild Wings have their own sort of enforcers at the, like a sort of TSA face scan that they do before you come in? So thorough is their ban list?

• 44:28Travis McElroy?

  Each blind box.

• 44:29Travis McElroy?

  Why is it, can I also just say Hank the Halls is nothing?

• 44:33Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, man.

• 44:33Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 44:34Griffin McElroy?

  Hank the Halls is nothing.

• 44:35Travis McElroy?

  Each blind box features a felt ornament that brings the campaign to life. Starting with the star of the show, the chicken wing ornament. Fans will also uncover scene driven.

• 44:48Travis McElroy?

  God, I hate reading these words. This is really taking a toll on my spirit. Scene driven keepsakes like the reindeer brawl and Santa mid swear. Scene, scene driven. Driven. From this, from this one you just watched, turning the spot.

• 45:04Travis McElroy?

  Grandmama, grandmama, where did you get this beautiful ornament of Santa swearing? Oh, that came from a Buffalo Wild Wings blind box on my first date with your grandfather.

• 45:16Travis McElroy?

  I got very lucky with that blind box. Fans will also uncover scene driven keepsakes like the reindeer brawl and Santa mid swear, turning the spot's funniest moments into holiday decor. Jesus fucking Christ. You guys are absolutely glazing this commercial. That's because it's a cheeky reminder, the Buffalo Wild Wings offers more than free food perks. It delivers more memorable rewards and unexpected delights for its most loyal fans.

• 45:46Travis McElroy?

  Okay, okay. This is where I want to, I want to like dive into this for a moment.

• 45:53Travis McElroy?

  Catch your breath, because I can tell this is really hurting you.

• 45:55Travis McElroy?

  When they talk about Buffalo Wild Wings' most loyal fans, I believe that there are people who enjoy eating at Buffalo Wild Wings, and I'm not saying that's not true. But when you tell me there are people who are fans of Buffalo Wild Wings to the degree that they will not only get ornaments based on a commercial they've just seen.

• 46:25Travis McElroy?

  The creative, Travis.

• 46:26Travis McElroy?

  The creative, but also engage in a blind box roulette scenario.

• 46:32Travis McElroy?

  Blind box is the one that's insulting. The blind, well, can I, can I take the quote? Listen, listen, here's a quote.

• 46:40Travis McElroy?

  Hank the Halls marks Buffalo Wild Wings' first ever holiday campaign and search to remind our fans that the holidays are a great time to come into our restaurants with friends and family, says Tristan Moline, chief marketing officer at Buffalo Wild Wings. The blind boxes are the $20 blind boxes are a way of saying thank you to our loyal fans with something special. It's not. Thanks, give me 20 bucks. Thanks, give me 20 bucks for a fucking felt chicken wing dipshit. Because it beat- That you might already have. That you might already have. You've got six of them. Thank you.

• 47:13Griffin McElroy?

  You're trying to get Santa swearing because it's so irreverent and fucking funny South Park, you keep pulling chicken wings and reindeer fights. You gullible idiot.

• 47:22Travis McElroy?

  At B-Dubs, we're- Thank you. At B-Dubs, we're all about celebrating all your social occasions with our unique experience and delicious food and drinks. Hey, unique- Weddings, christenings, funerals. Unique, unique experience, that's really interesting Buffalo Wild Wings. Tell me why you had to shut down the Buffalo Wild Wings at the Huntington Mall and reopen as a Buffalo Wild Wings to-go downtown. What a great experience that you don't even want me to have.

• 47:49Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, sucks.

• 47:51Travis McElroy?

  While Hank is saving Christmas, guests can pick, sorry, while Hank is saving Christmas, guests can save big with, this is a real, this is where it starts to get into like, are they trying to make people insane? Guests can save big with Buffalo Wild Wings Pick Six Meal. It's a Pick Six Meal for two, starting at $19.99. With the Pick Six, guests can choose two entrees, two sides, and two fountain drinks, all for $19.99. Options include 10 boneless wings, the All-American Cheeseburger, or three crispy chicken dippers. Pair with fan favorite fries, tots, or wedges. Want to upgrade? You can swap in buffalo chicken ranch or beer cheese cheesesteak for just $3 more. $20, guys. If that number rings a bell for you, it should.

• 48:35Griffin McElroy?

  Uh huh.

• 48:36Travis McElroy?

  Because it's what they're charging you to get a felt chicken wing, maybe in a box. From a commercial they made. That's-

• 48:46Griffin McElroy?

  If I say, here's $40, head to Buffalo Wild Wings-

• 48:52Travis McElroy?

  Bring me 300 chicken wings, or-

• 48:57Griffin McElroy?

  Or, or two reindeer fights?

• 49:00Travis McElroy?

  Yes, honey, I know times have been real tight this holiday season. And our food budget is a little low, but I've made an amazing investment with our last $20.

• 49:13Griffin McElroy?

  This is an investment in the accrual value of collectibles, Victoria.

• 49:18Travis McElroy?

  Now, I haven't opened the blind box yet.

• 49:21Griffin McElroy?

  You can either.

• 49:21Travis McElroy?

  But the energy off of it tells me it's cursing Santa.

• 49:25Griffin McElroy?

  Eat chicken wings tonight, once, or in 20 years, eat chicken wings every night of your life. Derek, you've bought 200 boxes. I know the cursing Santa is the chase ornament. I've got a system, Victoria.

• 49:38Travis McElroy?

  And as I keep saying, many of the boxes are just loaded with discarded bones. I don't know how their system is so faulty. They should be looking in the boxes, even if nobody else is.

• 49:50Griffin McElroy?

  You have to go in bulk. Did you not see Jerry and Marge go large? If you buy 200 boxes, you get at least four cursing Santas. That's where the money is.

• 49:59Travis McElroy?

  I've been watching all of the YouTube content creators as they've gone through their blind box system. This is the meta, darling. Don't you understand?

• 50:09Travis McElroy?

  Do you not want to watch reindeer fighting on the tree every year?

• 50:13Griffin McElroy?

  God, what a dope tree. If you show up and it's just covered in little tiny reindeer fights from the BW3's collection. Yeah, I don't know, man. They must have just stumped them into one big pallet. Then that was just the day I got there. God damn.

• 50:26Travis McElroy?

  Okay, thank you so much to everybody who came out to the Camel Knights, the live version. But good news, if you weren't there, it's not too late. You can go to bit.ly/candleknights2025 and still, still check it totally out. It'll be streaming at December 19th at 9:00 PM, and we're going to be in the chat.

• 50:46Griffin McElroy?

  Correct.

• 50:46Travis McElroy?

  Right? So, you can still get your streaming ticket for that, and it's gonna be a lot of fun, so make sure you check it out.

• 50:51Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, it's gonna be on demand, December 19th through January 4th. So you'll have plenty of time to catch it. And also, all the proceeds still go to Harmony House, which seeks to end homelessness in the Huntington area through permanent housing and supportive service programs.

• 51:04Travis McElroy?

  That link again, bit.ly/candlelights2025. Your support is really, really, really appreciated. So, thank you so much in advance.

• 51:12Travis McElroy?

  Over at the merch store, we've got a dice tray and dice tray bundle with balanced dice and the 2025 Candlelight's poster and Candlelight's ornament by Scott Hotch. And 10% of all merch proceeds this month will also be donated to Harmony House. So, head over to macrow merch.com, check that out. We get some gifts, I guess, for people or for yourself. You're worth it.

• 51:35Griffin McElroy?

  Yep. Hey, do we have a... Oh, thanks to Montane for the use of our theme song, "My Life is Better With You." I'm so grateful that we're able to, you know, use that track as the introduction and introduction of our show because the energy and the vibe is just so choice. We've got a fear here, final fear, to take us out of the episode, and I'd like to read it.

• 51:54Travis McElroy?

  Go for it.

• 51:55Griffin McElroy?

  "This year, I want to be faster than my fear that there's a second cheese packet in the mac and cheese box."

• 52:04Travis McElroy?

  Because you pull the one out and you don't want to dump it.

• 52:06Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, for sure.

• 52:07Travis McElroy?

  My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy.

• 52:10Griffin McElroy?

  I'm Griffin McElroy.

• 52:11Travis McElroy?

  This has been My Brother, My Brother Me. Kiss your dad. Square on the lips.

• 52:46Speaker 05

  Maximum Fun.

• 52:48Speaker 04

  A worker-owned network. Of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.