John Maxwell's #14 Law of Leadership: The Law of Buy-In

📥 CLICK HERE to Download the free Leadership Workbook and submit your question for our Q&A with John and me. People don't buy into your vision until they buy into you first. Every leader eventually asks the same question: why isn't my team buying into this? I've asked it myself. And the answer almost never has anything to do with the vision. It has everything to do with whether people have already bought into you as the person carrying it. I bring up something John said to me earlier this year that has stuck with me, about how rare it actually is for anyone in a position of influence to stand up and own a mistake out loud. That conversation is one we don't have enough, and John and I go deep on why owning your failures builds more trust than pretending you don't have any. John breaks down the 8-step process to get your team to buy-in, step by step, from the first crack people notice in a problem all the way to the moment buy-in becomes automatic and you don't have to ask for it anymore. He walks it back to his own story: stepping into a role after a legendary 27-year predecessor and spending nearly two years proving himself before anyone came looking for his counsel instead of comparing him to the guy before him. Here's what you'll gain from this episode: Sell Yourself First: Why the vision is always the second sale, never the first. The 8-Step Buy-In Process: John's exact sequence for turning a skeptical team into one that believes your belief before you've finished the sentence. The Line I Can't Forget: What John said to me that reframed why owning your mistakes builds more trust than covering them. Two Years to Earn the Room: John's own story of following a beloved leader and what it actually took. This Week's Rep: One decision that builds credibility before you ask anyone to follow you anywhere. Buy-in isn't built in the big speech. It's built in the Tuesday nobody's watching, the mistake you own out loud, and the promise you keep when it would've been easier not to. Do that long enough and you stop needing to ask people to follow you. This wraps Season 2 of my series with John Maxwell on his 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. If you haven't already, click the link above to download the free 21-page workbook and track your reps for every law we cover. And here's the big one: for the next two weeks, John and I are answering your questions directly in our upcoming Q&A sessions. It's not too late to get your leadership questions in front of us, so click the link and submit yours before that window closes! 🗓️ New law dropping every Thursday so make sure you're subscribed so you never miss one. Click HERE to Subscribe to my email list to MAXOUT your life (all value, no fluff) Thank you for listening —Please Share it and get the word out! 👉 SUBSCRIBE TO ED'S YOUTUBE CHANNEL NOW 👈 → → → CONNECT WITH ED MYLETT ON SOCIAL MEDIA: ← ← ← ➡️ INSTAGRAM ➡️ FACEBOOK ➡️ LINKEDIN ➡️ X ➡️ WEBSITE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

  I hear so many small business owners say the exact same thing. They just never have enough time in the day. Well, I measure time differently. I've compressed, condensed, heck, I've bent time. My first day is 6:00 AM to noon. My second day starts at noon and goes till 6:00 PM. And my third day, 6:00 PM to midnight. I now get 21 days a week. Stack that up over a month, over a year, over five years. And my life's completely different than it would have been otherwise. And if you want to win as an entrepreneur, you have to compress your time too. And you definitely can't afford to waste it. Waiting weeks on a big bank for capital? Your best bet's to work with my friends at Cardiff. They know how to compress time for entrepreneurs. They get your business approved in minutes and funded the very same day. They're America's favorite small business lender, and for good reason.

• 0:45Ed Mylett?

  Over 20 years in business, over 12 billion deployed to small business across America. Stop letting bank delays slow down your momentum. Head to cardiff.co/ed. That's cardiff.co/ed. Cardiff.co. Real growth, fast funding. Cardiff, borrow better.

• 1:14Ed Mylett?

  21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. Law 14, the law of buy-in. One of the biggest mistakes leaders make is believing people automatically buy into a vision just because the vision is good. They don't. People don't follow the vision first. They follow the leader first. Before they believe in the dream, they have to believe in the person carrying it. This is a huge thing. I have people tell me all the time, Ed, I kind of said the same words that you said I should be saying. Why am I not getting the buy-in? And that's because they've got to follow you first. They've got to believe in you first. They've got to see your example first. You have to exude and embody that vision, that dream, all the time. Before they commit to the mission, they have to trust the messenger.

• 1:56Ed Mylett?

  You can have the greatest strategy in the world, the clearest plan, the biggest dream. But if people don't trust the leader, they hesitate to follow the vision. People buy into the leader, then the vision. Welcome back to the season two finale of this series on John Maxwell's 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. In this series, John Maxwell teaches the law itself. And my role is to bring that principle into the real life, into real business, family, teams, leadership and influence. Today's principle is the law of buy-in. And this law is critical because many leaders spend all their energy on trying to sell people on the dream, sell them on the vision, sell them on the destination, which is important.

• 2:36Ed Mylett?

  However, if they talk about where the company's going, the goal, the opportunity, but people are often asking a different question behind the scenes. They're not asking, is the vision good? They're asking, can I trust the person leading it? Because people do not follow ideas. They follow people. That's why leadership is never just about what you see. It's about who you are becoming as you lead the people there. In fact, it's about who they're becoming by following you. You have to want to be more like you in order to fulfill this vision that you're casting. Buy-in is not created in one meeting. It's not created in one speech. I wish it was. It's not created because someone has a title or a position or authority. Buy-in's built over time. It's built in the small moments that happen before the big moment.

• 3:22Ed Mylett?

  When you think nobody's watching. So much of this belief is caught and not taught. It's the little things they see. It's what time are you showing up? What time do you leave? Do you have that passion that you say you have behind the scenes when a crisis hits? It's built when you show up consistently. People are always watching the leader. They watch how you respond when pressure hits, how you treat people when things go wrong. They watch whether you take responsibility or do you shift blame? You know, before this series, John and I had a podcast earlier this year, and he said something so profound that when watching the political debates a few years back, it occurred to him. He said, John said to me, I will vote for the first candidate to go up there and admit they made a mistake. I think that's so profound because you'll never hear leaders today own up to their mistakes.

• 4:06Ed Mylett?

  In that same interview, it was really interesting. John said to me about something about revealing my imperfections. And that actually, Ed, when you reveal your imperfections, he said, you actually get closer to your team rather than trying to be perfect all the time. By the way, doesn't that take the pressure off to know that the more authentic you are, the more vulnerable you are, you're actually building more trust? You don't have to be perfect. Saying I'm sorry, saying I got it wrong, saying I made a mistake, owning up to something actually gives an opportunity to build trust. You can almost take advantage of a bad situation that way and build the team that is more bonded, more unified by doing so. Let's go back to here, John and I, on how humility can be a key trait in leadership.

• 4:47Ed Mylett?

  It's almost like, it seems like in our culture today, failure is such a bad thing that if you even admit one, you're, you're, you know, somehow you're disqualified forever. I wish, do you feel that way too? I wish more of a, and so if you're speaking to someone who runs a company or leads a family, which is a leader, a mother that's listening to this, it's okay to acknowledge you've had a failure or a setback or made a mistake. And that's a redemptive thing to do, an important thing to do.

• 5:12John Maxwell?

  For both you and the person who's hearing you. It's, it's a two-way redemptive thing. When I admit my failures, I get in touch with my humanity, which allows me now to be able to really grow. So it's, it's good for me, but it's also good for the other person. You know, it's funny because I remember last year when I was, when, when we had a couple candidates running for president, I told Margaret before the first presidential debate, I, I, I said, I know who I'm going to vote on. And she said, who are you going to vote on for? I said, the first person in the debate that looks in the camera and said, I did, I made a mistake.

• 5:50Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 5:50John Maxwell?

  I, I didn't do that right. Oh, I wish I, I wish I could have that. I wish I could do that decision over again. I said, the first person that shows any kind of authenticity, any kind of in touch with who they are, that doesn't blame the other person for all the problems in the world. I said, I'm just going to, and I just sat there and I thought.

• 6:07Ed Mylett?

  It'd be a long wait.

• 6:08John Maxwell?

  All right. Just, I'm voting for you. Just, just one time, just tell me one time. Of course, there was no, there was no, and, and you and I both know that is, first of all, untrue. We're all human. And number two, it's unhealthy. It's unhealthy because we set a standard.

• 6:27Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 6:27John Maxwell?

  That is not livable by anybody. And now we're, instead of us having freedom, we're under incredible bondage and stress. And it does all kinds of emotional things that people don't want to do.

• 6:37Ed Mylett?

  That is such an important thing because it's not modeled. You're not seeing that from most public leadership right now. Yet the leaders that I've worked with in my life that I admire the most have done exactly what you say to do. I messed that up. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I'm going to get it right next time.

• 6:52John Maxwell?

  And people just can hardly wait to forgive you.

• 6:55Ed Mylett?

  I actually think ironically, kind of like what you said about overall failure, I actually got much closer to that person as a leader. It almost is if that setback or mistake, the decision they made that didn't go the right way was actually an odd blessing long-term because their acknowledgement of it built a level of trust that didn't exist when everything was perfect.

• 7:13John Maxwell?

  In my inner circle, they know my strengths and they know my weaknesses. They know my best victories and they know my biggest losses. And I want to tell you, they're close to me because they know my biggest losses.

• 7:26Ed Mylett?

  Yep. You also told me when I got to know you better, which for what it's worth, I just want to say this back to you, just as much I am listening. You told me, hey, Ed, you know, reveal your imperfections to people. You'll become much closer to them if you try to appear to be perfect all the time. And I really have, I've, I've really heeded that advice that, by the way, it's so freeing to not try to have to live up to some standard that I know is not accurate, right? I, I know that it is. So everybody, John and I get asked often where you could see the two of us speak actually together. And very often we do that for Life Surge, which is a Christian business event where you can come in looking for the spirit and you also learn a bunch of things about business. And John and I are at many of those events actually at the same time, and we love speaking for them.

• 8:08John Maxwell?

  Oh, we love doing it together. It's just if you come to Life Surge, you just get, I started to say double trouble, but hopefully you also, hopefully you also get some double help. And Ed and I would love to see you at one of our events.

• 8:20Ed Mylett?

  Absolutely. We'll see you there. When trust is present, people are willing to step into uncertainty because they believe in the leader. A leader cannot cast a big vision while living with low standards and expect people not to notice. You can't talk about excellence but settle for average. If you talk about accountability but avoid accountability yourself, people will see it. If you talk about sacrifice, but you never sacrifice, people see it. You can't, can't be the old sacrifices. It can't be the stories you tell them about when you used to sacrifice in the glory days, when it was difficult, before they were there. They have to see it now. That's the rub. Are you tired of making the sacrifice? Or will you still do it for the people that are with you today? People may not always say it out loud, but they know when a leader's life does not match the message.

• 9:06Ed Mylett?

  You've heard me say this last week and in many of my other teachings, that things are caught, not taught, right? It's a fact. Whether that's your family or business, as a leader, you become the standard before people will fully follow the vision. In business, your team has to buy in before they buy into any strategy. They have to buy into you. In your family, your children are more likely to follow what you model than what you announce, what you preach. In ministry, sports, coaching, or any organization, people want to know that the person leading them is credible. And credibility is built through consistency. Because the best leaders do not use people to build a vision. They use the vision to build people. And when people feel that, they buy in a much deeper level.

• 9:48Ed Mylett?

  So as you listen to John teach this law, I want you to think about the people you lead. Who is it? Is it your team? Is it your family? Your organization? The people you're trying to influence, ask yourself, have they bought into the vision because they first bought into me? Have I become the kind of leader people can believe in? Let's hear John Maxwell teach the law of buy-in. So I'm not new to the gym. I know my way around a barbell, but I was doing the same four lifts for like two years and wondering why nothing was changing. I bet you relate to that. Turns out the problem wasn't effort. It was my plan. That's when I found ladder. Ladder is an expert strength training plan, not a content library. It's not just like influencer workouts. It's real, true, progressive programming designed by certified coaches.

• 10:33Ed Mylett?

  It's really good. A new plan every week that builds on the last structured training blocks that connect a real coach in your ear on every set. So remove the guesswork from ladder and get a real coach in your ear telling you exactly what to do for every workout. No thinking, everything planned for you. If you're a guy who's been meaning to get back to it, you know, get back in shape, this is the way back. If you have an iPhone, head to ladder.fit/milette and take a quiz to get matched with your coach and the right plan for you. Use my link, listen to this, a free seven day trial with no credit card and $10 off your first month if you join. So I was on whatnot last night. You know what I found? My book, The Power of One More. Whatnot is where sellers shine and find their people.

• 11:16Ed Mylett?

  Repeat customers that come back to your face instead of just a logo. Whatnot is the largest dedicated live shopping platform, whether it's beauty, collectibles, electronics, luxury fashion, even cookies. Sellers are building real thriving businesses on whatnot. Anyone can sell, whether your business is big or small, or even if it doesn't even exist yet. People selling on whatnot, listen to this, they sell 10 times more than on other major marketplaces. That's because you're not just listing products, you're building real connections with buyers. Consistency pays off. This isn't a side hustle type thing. It's a real path to building something that lasts. Whatnot buyers spend more than an hour a day in the app. So they're not just browsing, they're engaged, they're buying, and they're coming back. So you go live, show off products in real time and turn what you love into real income.

• 12:01Ed Mylett?

  So search whatnot, W H A T N O T in the app store. Download and you can start selling right away. Are you sick of dealing with a slow computer? Most people blame their device, but the real slowdown, what I've learned is actually comes from heavy traditional antivirus programs that hog up your storage and drag everything down. Webroot is a cloud-based antivirus engineered to stay out of your way. Many of the big name brands out there have become really bulky, complicated and full of pop-ups and up-sells. So instead of waiting around, you get instant powerful protection without the lag. They're really good. And because the intelligence lives in the cloud, Webroot keeps your computer running light, fast and smooth. All while defending you in real time against malware, phishing, ransomware and other threats.

• 12:46Ed Mylett?

  You have to have something and they're the fastest. Whether you're working, browsing or streaming, Webroot is the antivirus that works for you and not against you. Make the switch. I think you'd be glad you did for modern antivirus protection. And for a limited time, you can save 60% on Webroot when you go to webroot.com/milette. That's 60% off, but only when you go to webroot.com/milette.

• 13:09John Maxwell?

  The 14th law of leadership is the law of buy-in. B U Y, buy-in. The law of buy-in says people buy into the leader, then the vision.

• 13:22John Maxwell?

  When I hold leadership conferences many times,

• 13:26John Maxwell?

  a leader of an organization will come up to me and they'll say, John, I've got this huge vision, got this big dream. Just about to share it with my company, about to share it with my department. And they'll ask me the question, all the time they'll ask me this question, what do you think? Do you think that my people will buy into my dream? Whenever they ask me the question, I say, let me ask you a question. Have the people bought into you? Because if the people have bought into you as a leader, can I tell you something? There's good news. They'll buy into the dream. But if they haven't bought into you, can I tell you, they'll not buy into the dream. It's never happened where an organization has bought into the vision without buying in to the visionary.

• 14:07John Maxwell?

  So the first thing that you sell is not your dream.

• 14:11John Maxwell?

  The first thing you sell is not the vision you have. The first thing you sell is yourself. Because when you can connect, goes back to the law of connection. When you can, when you can touch a heart, you can ask for the hand. In other words, when you can touch them relationally, when they have bought into you emotionally, when they like you, when you're at least on level number two on the five levels of leadership, when they have bought into you, then they'll buy into the dream. So the first thing that you want to do is you want to always sell yourself. And then you can sell your dream, but it's impossible to sell your dream

• 14:37John Maxwell?

  if you haven't first sold yourself.

• 14:41John Maxwell?

  You see, every vision is filtered through the messenger. So therefore, when I hear a vision or when I have a dream presented to me as a leader, it's an absolute fact that every one of those dreams and visions are filtered through who gives the dream and who shares the vision. I've often said it this way. The leader finds the dream and then the people. That's the way it works. As a leader, I have a vision or I dream and I got this vision dream and I say, okay, I gotta go find some people to fulfill it because I can't do it all myself because it's a bigger dream than I have. So the leader finds the dream and then the people. The people find the leader and then the dream.

• 15:29John Maxwell?

  Most people go throughout life without the dream or the vision. So they have to find the leader that has a dream or a vision that's compatible with them. But in staying long enough to find out what the leader's dream is and what the vision of that leader is and where that leader is taking them,

• 15:47John Maxwell?

  they also realize I've got to buy into this person. I've got to like them. If I'm going to take a journey with them, I've got to relate to them. I've got to connect with them. They have to like me. They have to believe in me. They have to relate and connect with me. So the law of buy-in is absolutely huge because what we have to understand is

• 16:04John Maxwell?

  that our job as a leader isn't to sell the dream first. Our job as a leader is to sell ourselves first. And with the selling of ourselves and the connecting with people, they connect with the dream. Again, how do I take the vision from me to we? The law of buy-in. If they buy into you, it will soon be their vision, not just your vision.

• 16:30John Maxwell?

  You know, there are some questions therefore that I have to ask as a leader. The question is not only do I have a clear vision, the question that I need to ask is, do I love my people? Do I enjoy being around them? Do I have a good relationship with them? Do they love me? Do they enjoy being around me? Is it a good time when we're together? Because the leader again understands in the law of buy-in, there has to be the human connection before you can take them to a higher level. What I want to do to make this lesson real practical for you is I have what I call the buy-in process that I want to give you. I want to share with you, what is the process

• 17:14John Maxwell?

  that helps people buy into you as a leader and then buy into your vision? Here's where it starts. Number one,

• 17:25John Maxwell?

  the people, the people see the problem.

• 17:31John Maxwell?

  In other words, there's a need that people sense and feel and, and understand. And they say, oh my goodness, we have a need or we have a problem. That's the first step to the buy-in process. There's just what I call the obvious need or the obvious problem. Step one.

• 17:49John Maxwell?

  Step two,

• 17:52John Maxwell?

  the leader sees the problem and the potential. Now that's what distinguishes the leader from the follower. The follower sees the problem. In fact, the follower is frustrated and basically has no answers and basically thinks that his or her hands are tied. And so they're frustrated with the problem, but the leader sees the problem, but the leader also sees the potential. That's what makes a leader. Remember, leaders are dealers in hope.

• 18:20John Maxwell?

  Where most people see the dead end street, they see more than the dead end street. So one is the obvious need that there's a problem. Secondly, there's a leader who sees not only the problem, but the potential.

• 18:34John Maxwell?

  Third,

• 18:36John Maxwell?

  the leader has a plan. Now this plan usually is a vision, but it's a plan. They not only see the problem, but they've got a plan on how to fix it. And in seeing this problem and seeing this plan, how to fix it, remember now they are beginning to be what I call tangible dealers in hope. It's one thing just to get up and say, it's going to be a better day. It's another thing to get up and say, it's going to be a better day and here's why and lay out a plan.

• 19:07John Maxwell?

  One statement gives people hope for the moment. The second statement energizes and empowers them for the long run. So there's a problem that's obvious. There's a leader who sees the problem, but also sees the potential. And that same leader, thirdly, develops a plan of how this problem can be solved.

• 19:29John Maxwell?

  Number four,

• 19:32John Maxwell?

  the leader believes in the people. As we studied in the law of buy-in, that you have to buy into the people before you buy into the vision. And by the way, that's two ways. The people have to buy into the leader before they buy into the vision. And the leader has to buy into the people before he or she can get them to buy the vision. There's a buy-in on both. So this leader not only sees the problem, sees the potential, has the plan, but has bought into the people, which brings us to step number five, the leader believes in the future. Not only does the leader believe in the, in the people, the leader believes in the future. And basically again, has great expectation of what tomorrow will bring.

• 20:12John Maxwell?

  And step number six,

• 20:15John Maxwell?

  the leader shares this belief with the people.

• 20:24John Maxwell?

  In other words, the leader gathers people around and says, "Let me tell you what I thinks can happen. Here's the plan. Here's what I believe is going to happen." Which brings us to step number seven, the people

• 20:36John Maxwell?

  believe in the leader's belief. I've seen this happen time and time again. The people believe in the leader's belief. Even before, quote, "They get it", they've got it.

• 20:50John Maxwell?

  They bought in emotionally to the leader, and so therefore, as they bought emotionally into the leader, they began to buy into emotionally the leader's plan, the whole process. Now, when those seven things happen, the eighth thing is absolutely automatic. The people buy in to the leader. They just buy into the leader. Now, sometimes this gets to the law of respect, because the law of buy-in is a cousin to the law of respect.

• 21:19John Maxwell?

  They're similar laws. They're different. One is based on emotional understanding in relationships. That's the law of buy-in. The law of respect is based on credibility and the ability to produce. So they're different, but they're cousins. Now, here's what I know. I can remember I was a leader of an organization several years ago, of which I followed an excellent leader who had been in that position for 27 years.

• 21:45John Maxwell?

  You talk about taking time before people gave you respect or buy-in. For the first year and a half, all I heard was how good the last leader was. And you know what? He was that good. Instead of being jealous, or instead of trying to pull him in, I bought into his leadership and talked about how good of a leader he was and how valuable he was to the organization, but I just kept doing my job with excellence. And what I found was this. Almost two years later,

• 22:19John Maxwell?

  I began to sense the law of buy-in. Now, nobody got up one day and said, "Oh, by the way, John, law number 14, the law of the buy-in." There was no such law back then.

• 22:33John Maxwell?

  I hadn't written the book.

• 22:40John Maxwell?

  But I knew they began to buy into me.

• 22:43John Maxwell?

  I knew they began to buy into me because they started coming to me and asking for leadership counsel. They began to initiate questions. And they also began to initiate affirmation. They began to talk to me about how I was helping them and how they realized where the organization was, and now the organization was so much better. And all of a sudden, I realized, when you truly have the law of buy-in as a leader, you don't need to ask the people. They'll start coming forth. And they'll start giving you that buy-in. You'll know it, because the people will share it.

• 23:19Ed Mylett?

  If you haven't done it yet, click the link below. You need the 21-page workbook in your hands to track what we call the rep for every law. Plus, that's your only way to get your questions in front of John and I for the Q&A sessions coming up next week. Get the guide, join the list, and let's get back to the teaching. All right, so the law of buy-in reminds that the vision alone is never enough. People need to believe in the leader carrying the vision. They need to trust your character. They need to believe in your motives. They need to see your consistency in your life. They need to know they can believe in you, trust you, and if they follow what you do, that that vision can become a reality. Because you're not just asking them to sacrifice for something that's meaningless or only benefits you. They need to believe that it can benefit them as well.

• 24:03Ed Mylett?

  Great leaders do not just sell a vision. They become the kind of person people want to follow. Because when people believe in the leader, they're far more willing to believe in the future that that leader sees. This is one of the greatest responsibilities of leadership. Before you ask people to buy in to where you want to go or where you're going, make sure you're becoming someone they can trust to lead them there. Here's the rep for this week. The rep is to write down John's buy-in process, to know how to execute and get others around you. Strengthen the relational foundation beneath your vision by talking to people individually and listening to concerns. Clarify the why behind the what. Also, look at whether your own belief is clear and consistent.

• 24:48Ed Mylett?

  Then choose one way this week to build more credibility. Maybe it's keep a promise. Maybe it's own a mistake. Perhaps it's own and have an honest conversation. Show up with more consistency. Serve someone without needing to take credit. Do something that proves your commitment before you ask for theirs. Because buy-in is not built in one big moment. It's built one decision at a time, the power of one more. And when people buy into you, they're far more likely to buy into the vision that you are so called to lead.

• 25:21Speaker 02

  This is The Ed Miliband Show.