Chinese Girlfriend w/ Dane Cook

A Wave series. https://wavesportsandentertainment.com Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/c/badfriends Thank you to our Sponsors: Rocket Money, TalkSpace, Kachava, Avocado & Liquid IV • Rocket Mone: Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at https://RocketMoney.com/BADFRIENDS • TalkSpace: Get $80 off your first month with promo codeSPACE80 at https://Talkspace.com • Kachava: Go to https://kachava.com and use code BADFRIENDS for 15% off your first order • Avocado: Find an Avocado near you or shop online at https://AvocadoGreenMattress.com/BADFRIENDS — and check out their mattress and bedding sale! • Liquid IV: Tear. Pour. Live More. Go to https://www.liquidiv.com and get 20% off your first purchase with code 2026BF at checkout. Rent "Funny Money, The Dane Cook Sotry" on Apple TV: https://tv.apple.com/us/movie/funny-money-the-dane-cook-story/umc.cmc.7bpcjxhy42pl3uekhh3fpdxkq or watch on Netflix on November 6th https://www.netflix.com/title/70061758 YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Audio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 Quiet, Piggy 5:00 On Point Cup o' Noodles 7:50 You Can See Everything 12:30 Asian Unicorns 13:15 Chinese Girlfriend 17:30 Once in a Generation 25:37 We Are The Cows Of The Future 29:25 Media Training & TV Pilots 37:00 It Doesn't Need To Be Perfect 44:45 The Dane Cook Story 50:00 The Holy S**t Business 54:30 Becoming Undeniable 1:00:00 Investing in GTA VI 1:06:40 Tweeting at Sebastian Bach 1:11:30 Building Trust & Trusting Your Gut More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbylee.live More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@7EQUIS Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.com/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:19Speaker 01

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• 0:30Speaker 02

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• 1:06Speaker 03

  What are you waiting for? Hop on.

• 1:08Speaker 02

  The must-see galactic adventure comes home on Disney+.

• 1:12Speaker 03

  This is the way. Our only chance is to work together. I like this kid. Always wear your seatbelt.

• 1:22Speaker 02

  Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu, now streaming on Disney+. Rated PG-13.

• 1:31Speaker 02

  Wave.

• 1:34Speaker 04

  You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Oh, you two are something. We're bad friends.

• 1:46Bobby Lee?

  One, two, three, four, five o'clock, six o'clock, seven o'clock night. A, B, C, D, E, F, G. Everybody, one, two, three, welcome to the Bad Friends Kid Show.

• 1:59Andrew Santino?

  A Wave Series.

• 2:01Bobby Lee?

  A Wave Series.

• 2:02Andrew Santino?

  People are asking a lot. They're like, what is the Wave Series? It's a company that we now are working with.

• 2:07Bobby Lee?

  We're working with a new company called the Wave Series.

• 2:09Andrew Santino?

  It's not that hard to figure out.

• 2:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and it's an unbelievable company.

• 2:13Andrew Santino?

  They're great.

• 2:13Bobby Lee?

  And we're forthright with them.

• 2:16Andrew Santino?

  We are forthright with them.

• 2:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:17Andrew Santino?

  Not forthwrong, we're forthright.

• 2:19Bobby Lee?

  Everybody, welcome to the Bad Friends Kid Show.

• 2:23Andrew Santino?

  Nope, it's for adults.

• 2:23Bobby Lee?

  It's for adults, yeah.

• 2:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 2:25Bobby Lee?

  But anyway, welcome. And, um, Quiet Piggy. I'm kidding. I don't know why I had that in my head.

• 2:30Andrew Santino?

  What's up with you and the Quiet Piggy thing? Is Trump bothering you?

• 2:32Bobby Lee?

  I don't know, because, you know, when he says something, our dear leader, right? It tends to end up in my vernacular. Like when I go billions and billions and billions and billions and billions, just because of him. You look up to him. Yeah. Beep, bop, boop. You know how he does that? Bop, bop, bop, bop. You know, I learned that from him.

• 2:51Andrew Santino?

  What did you, what is that?

• 2:52Bobby Lee?

  It's just some of his, like, what do you call it?

• 2:53Andrew Santino?

  Mannerisms?

• 2:54Bobby Lee?

  Mannerisms.

• 2:55Andrew Santino?

  When does he do beep, bop, boop, bop? I've never seen that.

• 2:57Bobby Lee?

  No, he'll go bop, bop, bop. You've seen that, right? Yeah. Yeah. Boop, boop. You know what I mean? Like, he'll go like this. He'll go, yeah, we drop bombs on Iran. Bop, bop, bop, bop. He'll like, he'll tag it as a mug act out.

• 3:08Andrew Santino?

  I do like that.

• 3:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. It's a really good way. You know what? I'm gonna do that today.

• 3:11Andrew Santino?

  Is that what it sounds like when you drop a bomb? Beep, bop, boop, bop?

• 3:15Bobby Lee?

  According to him, it does.

• 3:16Andrew Santino?

  Sweet little beep, bop, boop, bop. Have you ever heard the guy online that does the artillery noises? This guy's, look at this guy. This guy might be one of the most impressive. He makes artillery noises with his mouth, and this sounds like guns.

• 3:28Bobby Lee?

  Can you do one before?

• 3:29Andrew Santino?

  That's him right there on the left.

• 3:30Bobby Lee?

  Can you do one before him, though?

• 3:31Andrew Santino?

  Listen to this. No, okay, let me try.

• 3:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I wanna try and then see if we can match up.

• 3:38Andrew Santino?

  Yours.

• 3:41Bobby Lee?

  I know. I can't roll my tongues, that's the problem.

• 3:49Andrew Santino?

  Watch this guy. Click on this dude on the left. Watch how good this dude is.

• 3:57Bobby Lee?

  There's no way.

• 3:58Andrew Santino?

  Dude.

• 4:00Bobby Lee?

  There is no way, dude.

• 4:05Bobby Lee?

  Now, I didn't know what artillery was. Now I can do it.

• 4:10Bobby Lee?

  I thought he was using, yeah, yeah, a jack gun or something.

• 4:12Andrew Santino?

  Impressive. Go to the other video of him. Go to another one.

• 4:14Bobby Lee?

  That is incredible.

• 4:15Andrew Santino?

  This dude is a magician. Do the first one. Yeah, no, that, the second one, sorry. I meant the second one there, that one.

• 4:24Bobby Lee?

  It's time for Artillery Monday.

• 4:30Bobby Lee?

  Oh, oh my God, he's so good.

• 4:31Andrew Santino?

  Michael Bay, hire this man.

• 4:32Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah. Can I start mine over?

• 4:34Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, hold on.

• 4:35Bobby Lee?

  I want you, I want you to see what war I'm doing. All right?

• 4:38Andrew Santino?

  Oh, well, guess the war.

• 4:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, let's guess, guess the war.

• 4:40Andrew Santino?

  This is Bad Friends. Guess the war!

• 4:43Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 4:45Andrew Santino?

  Desert Storm. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

• 4:48Bobby Lee?

  Charlie, Charlie.

• 4:50Andrew Santino?

  Vietnam. Vietnam.

• 4:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Vietnam.

• 4:53Andrew Santino?

  Vietnam, okay.

• 4:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, very good. Beautiful war.

• 4:56Andrew Santino?

  Let's do another war. Ready?

• 4:57Bobby Lee?

  It's your turn.

• 5:02Bobby Lee?

  Civil!

• 5:02Andrew Santino?

  Yes!

• 5:03Bobby Lee?

  Civil!

• 5:04Andrew Santino?

  Civil! Okay, Bob, let's hear another one.

• 5:08Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude.

• 5:09Bobby Lee?

  All right. Um, I'll try one. I'm not good at the accent.

• 5:12Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 5:16Bobby Lee?

  Bonjour.

• 5:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Normandy.

• 5:23Andrew Santino?

  Who says Normandy?

• 5:24Bobby Lee?

  I say Normandy.

• 5:25Andrew Santino?

  Did they say that the whole time they were fighting? Normandy.

• 5:28Bobby Lee?

  Normandy.

• 5:29Andrew Santino?

  Normandy.

• 5:29Bobby Lee?

  Because you, have you ever been on Normandy? You say it when you're, I've been there.

• 5:32Andrew Santino?

  You have, it's beautiful.

• 5:33Bobby Lee?

  You have to say Normandy.

• 5:34Andrew Santino?

  It's hard to not.

• 5:34Bobby Lee?

  It's so beautiful.

• 5:35Andrew Santino?

  Shout out to this guy. What's the name of his Instagram page? Because I do really like this guy. It's the Mr., the Mr. Anamontopia TikTok. Anamontopia. Anamontopia.

• 5:45Bobby Lee?

  That is incredible. It's like, you know, Michael Winslow was the guy, the...

• 5:48Andrew Santino?

  This guy...

• 5:49Bobby Lee?

  I understand that, but can I, can I defend Michael Winslow?

• 5:52Andrew Santino?

  Hmm.

• 5:53Bobby Lee?

  Can I defend Michael Winslow?

• 5:54Andrew Santino?

  Does he need defending?

• 5:55Bobby Lee?

  He does.

• 5:56Andrew Santino?

  All right.

• 5:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Well, I, I mean, I don't have to.

• 5:58Andrew Santino?

  I mean, we all love him.

• 5:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:00Andrew Santino?

  What, what do you think?

• 6:02Bobby Lee?

  He's the first guy in my, as a child, I remember doing the...

• 6:07Andrew Santino?

  Same.

• 6:07Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 6:08Andrew Santino?

  I mean, his...

• 6:08Bobby Lee?

  He was the first guy.

• 6:09Andrew Santino?

  He was number, I don't know anybody that did noises the way Winslow did.

• 6:12Bobby Lee?

  He did electric guitar.

• 6:15Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 6:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, right?

• 6:16Andrew Santino?

  So good.

• 6:16Bobby Lee?

  He's good at opening doors.

• 6:18Andrew Santino?

  When I saw him... Ready?

• 6:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:23Bobby Lee?

  Grandma? Yeah.

• 6:25Andrew Santino?

  Yes?

• 6:26Bobby Lee?

  You, oh.

• 6:27Andrew Santino?

  Oh?

• 6:28Bobby Lee?

  Close the door. Grandma?

• 6:31Andrew Santino?

  No, don't do that.

• 6:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, because she walked in on me.

• 6:34Andrew Santino?

  You know what I had?

• 6:35Bobby Lee?

  And I'm her grandson, that's fucking rude. Knock. You just don't walk in.

• 6:38Andrew Santino?

  You know what I had in the hotel when I was flying back from Florida? Nothing was open food-wise, and we got a little bit of old-school cup of ramen, and it still holds up. Just the old-school cup of ramen is still good. It's, it's so funny. It's still good after all these years. You don't like it?

• 6:58Andrew Santino?

  Don't point. Don't do me the death, death, death, death. Don't, don't.

• 7:02Bobby Lee?

  When I do three fingers, that, no. No, no, no. When, oh, you think I'm doing Jedi shit?

• 7:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I thought that was a Jedi thing.

• 7:07Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no. When I'm, when I'm doing three fingers, that you, right? That means you're on point.

• 7:11Andrew Santino?

  Thank you.

• 7:11Bobby Lee?

  Oh, wow. We learned something new.

• 7:14Andrew Santino?

  This is on point. And by the way, you guys almost never get three.

• 7:17Bobby Lee?

  You don't, you'll never get three.

• 7:18Andrew Santino?

  You'll get one or two.

• 7:19Bobby Lee?

  They get two. But what I got, check this out, my friend.

• 7:23Andrew Santino?

  Check it out.

• 7:23Bobby Lee?

  I got a ramen little machine.

• 7:26Andrew Santino?

  You have a ramen machine at home? You haven't invited us over to have ramen with you?

• 7:30Bobby Lee?

  It's, it's $12 a machine. It's, it, but it's a hot pot machine. All right?

• 7:34Andrew Santino?

  Hot pot.

• 7:35Bobby Lee?

  So you boil your ramen, but they have a little contraption above where you put your steamed vegetables.

• 7:40Andrew Santino?

  Oh, my God, I want one of these.

• 7:42Bobby Lee?

  Right? So when you're boiling your ramen with all the flavors and stuff, it steams up into the vegetables. And then you dunk, and then I have another thing where it's a side cup where you put in the water, right? You put an egg in it, and it boils the egg, right?

• 7:56Andrew Santino?

  That's only $12?

• 7:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 7:57Andrew Santino?

  Sounds like a $1,000 invention.

• 7:59Bobby Lee?

  I bought 50 of them, they keep breaking. They're really cheap, but they're really good.

• 8:03Andrew Santino?

  China making the ramen? The ramen maker's not as good as... By the way, the one that you're pointing at, that's $700, that just looks like a hot water dispenser. How is that $700?

• 8:13Bobby Lee?

  It looks cool. Yeah.

• 8:15Andrew Santino?

  Let me see, zoom in, see that?

• 8:16Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that looks cool.

• 8:17Andrew Santino?

  Okay, so it, oh, it dispenses the ramen, makes the flavors. I get that.

• 8:21Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 8:22Andrew Santino?

  It's a flavor machine.

• 8:23Bobby Lee?

  It's, that's for if you have a business. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not doing it for my neighbors.

• 8:28Andrew Santino?

  Let's start a business.

• 8:30Bobby Lee?

  I'm not making ramen for my fucking neighbor. I hate them.

• 8:32Andrew Santino?

  You heard it here first. We're making ramen for everybody in our neighborhood coming up soon.

• 8:36Bobby Lee?

  I have producers on both sides. I hate both, they go, put your fucking trash up. They text me.

• 8:42Bobby Lee?

  My neighbors, every day, put your, it looks bad in the neighborhood. Fuck you, it's my fucking property.

• 8:47Andrew Santino?

  Wait a minute. Who puts the, who puts the trash bands down there?

• 8:50Bobby Lee?

  I don't know!

• 8:51Andrew Santino?

  Your gardening guy, right?

• 8:52Bobby Lee?

  I guess.

• 8:52Andrew Santino?

  Well, then ask him to pull them up when it's over. You don't know. You have no idea who that is. The guy who cleans your yard?

• 8:59Bobby Lee?

  I know, I, I think it's Raul. But...

• 9:02Andrew Santino?

  I mean, chances are high.

• 9:04Bobby Lee?

  I know, chances are, but I always tip.

• 9:06Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, of course. What do you mean?

• 9:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 9:07Andrew Santino?

  Well, you pay him a salary.

• 9:08Bobby Lee?

  I pay them a, but when, if I see them visually, you're right, in my presence, I'll, I'll throw them a 20.

• 9:15Andrew Santino?

  Break them off a little something. Yeah, why not? That's a nice thing to do. You know what we need to do? I wanna go see Nathan's movie. Did you watch it already? Yes.

• 9:21Bobby Lee?

  No, I wanna see it this week.

• 9:22Andrew Santino?

  So bad. We gotta go see it this week.

• 9:24Bobby Lee?

  You saw it already?

• 9:24Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. I heard it's absolutely brilliant.

• 9:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I wanna see it.

• 9:28Andrew Santino?

  Marc Maron had a full discussion with the Tash Leggero last night about the nuances of it and how it does such an amazing dance of what you believe, who you believe, what you think, and you're, it's, he was like, dude, it's one of the best-directed things I think I've ever seen in my life. It's a 98 and 98 on Rotten Tomatoes, both audience and, and critic score. It's apparently supposed to be the documentary. It could be Best Picture nominated.

• 9:52Bobby Lee?

  It could be. I think, I think the Odyssey is gonna sweep, but, um, you don't think so?

• 9:57Andrew Santino?

  I don't think so. Well, first of all, this can't be Best Picture because it's a documentary series. It could be. I mean, I know, but they wouldn't do that. It would be the first one. I know, but they wouldn't do that.

• 10:04Bobby Lee?

  They might.

• 10:04Andrew Santino?

  They will not.

• 10:05Bobby Lee?

  For this one.

• 10:06Andrew Santino?

  Odyssey is for sure going to probably win Best Picture. It's gonna be up there. Okay, it's that or Digger.

• 10:13Andrew Santino?

  It's Digger or...

• 10:14Bobby Lee?

  Did you see Digger?

• 10:14Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 10:15Bobby Lee?

  What was it?

• 10:16Andrew Santino?

  I think it's amazing.

• 10:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you know, I, I think I'm gonna like Digger.

• 10:19Andrew Santino?

  I think I'm gonna love it.

• 10:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 10:21Andrew Santino?

  But I'm more excited, you know what I'm most excited about? What film is coming out in November?

• 10:24Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I know.

• 10:25Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 10:26Bobby Lee?

  Let me guess.

• 10:27Andrew Santino?

  You know.

• 10:28Bobby Lee?

  It's coming out, um, The Mummy with the new one.

• 10:31Andrew Santino?

  The new mummy?

• 10:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, the new mummy with the fucking whale. The whale's in it. Remember the whale, the whale?

• 10:37Andrew Santino?

  The whale?

• 10:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, is in The Mummy. But he was, before he got fat, he was in The Mummy.

• 10:41Andrew Santino?

  Ah.

• 10:43Bobby Lee?

  The whale was him, is kind of retirement, right? But he gets back into, you know what I mean? Exploration, archaeology. Yeah, yeah. Ooh, why not?

• 10:53Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:56Bobby Lee?

  I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't know, what's the movie?

• 10:58Andrew Santino?

  You do know. Zoom in. You wanna, you wanna see it bad.

• 11:01Bobby Lee?

  Okay, let me read, okay.

• 11:03Andrew Santino?

  I forgot they're doing Focker again. That's with Ariana Grande?

• 11:06Bobby Lee?

  Yep.

• 11:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 11:08Bobby Lee?

  Madden.

• 11:09Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 11:09Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 11:10Andrew Santino?

  But that might be good.

• 11:12Bobby Lee?

  Can you go down? Is it already, can we already read it from here?

• 11:15Andrew Santino?

  The major ones. It's not in those, no.

• 11:16Bobby Lee?

  It's not in those, yeah. So can you come up with a better list? You're doing a great job, by the way, but...

• 11:20Andrew Santino?

  That can't be all, that's all the movies that are coming out in November? What is that, Fandango? Temptation of Becky.

• 11:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, is that it?

• 11:29Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 11:29Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 11:30Speaker 02

  It's Rocky.

• 11:31Bobby Lee?

  The first Temptation of Becky is my favorite.

• 11:37Andrew Santino?

  It's better than the second one. No, it's Wild Horse Nine is the movie that I want to see.

• 11:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:42Andrew Santino?

  Wild Horse Nine, to me, might be the best movie coming up.

• 11:47Bobby Lee?

  With Malkovich?

• 11:48Andrew Santino?

  It looks fucking incredible.

• 11:49Bobby Lee?

  It looks great, yeah. Parker Posey's in it, right?

• 11:51Andrew Santino?

  One of the best actresses of our time.

• 11:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 11:53Andrew Santino?

  No, it's Malkovich. It's also, what's his name? Uh, Buscemi and Sam Rockwell.

• 11:59Bobby Lee?

  What's, what's it, what, Rotten Tomatoes, what is it?

• 12:01Andrew Santino?

  Well, it's not out yet, right?

• 12:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:02Bobby Lee?

  There is something.

• 12:04Andrew Santino?

  November 5th.

• 12:05Bobby Lee?

  Ninety-three percent.

• 12:06Andrew Santino?

  Ninety-three percent for the critics. It looks brilliant. It looks Cohen-esque. It looks, um. It just has all those elements of things that I love of like a two-hander, kind of like, um, uh. It's very, it reminds me of old-school follies between two failing agents of whatever business they're doing. You know what I mean?

• 12:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I like it.

• 12:28Andrew Santino?

  I love that stuff.

• 12:28Bobby Lee?

  I love that stuff, yeah.

• 12:30Andrew Santino?

  They said it's brilliant and very, very funny. November, I'm gonna, that's what I want.

• 12:33Bobby Lee?

  Buddy was a good movie. Did you see Buddy?

• 12:35Andrew Santino?

  I didn't see it.

• 12:38Andrew Santino?

  I don't know. I don't know what that is.

• 12:39Bobby Lee?

  You look a buddy. It's a good movie.

• 12:42Andrew Santino?

  Is that Brad Pitt and the dog?

• 12:43Bobby Lee?

  No, it's called Buddy.

• 12:47Andrew Santino?

  Is it a, it's a thriller?

• 12:48Bobby Lee?

  It's not a thriller, no.

• 12:49Andrew Santino?

  Hmm. That looks like Philomena Kunk.

• 12:52Bobby Lee?

  It's a horror movie.

• 12:55Andrew Santino?

  Oh, it is a horror movie.

• 12:55Bobby Lee?

  And Christine, she's in it.

• 12:57Andrew Santino?

  Christina Milati?

• 12:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 12:58Andrew Santino?

  Chris, what is her name?

• 12:59Bobby Lee?

  Christina.

• 13:00Andrew Santino?

  Kristen Milati?

• 13:00Bobby Lee?

  Kristen Milati, yeah.

• 13:01Andrew Santino?

  Fantastic.

• 13:01Bobby Lee?

  She's great in it.

• 13:02Andrew Santino?

  So talented.

• 13:03Bobby Lee?

  It, can I tell you about Buddy or no?

• 13:04Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:05Bobby Lee?

  It's a kid's show.

• 13:07Andrew Santino?

  But he's a murderer.

• 13:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 13:09Andrew Santino?

  Of course. Why would he not be?

• 13:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's pretty horrifying. Can I just tell you one scene in it?

• 13:15Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 13:16Bobby Lee?

  He's chasing after these kids and he can't get through like a door because he's so fucking fat, Buddy.

• 13:22Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 13:23Bobby Lee?

  That he takes a saw and he shaves his sides. And it exposes all his like inner workings.

• 13:30Andrew Santino?

  Hmm.

• 13:30Bobby Lee?

  And he gets, he gets in.

• 13:31Andrew Santino?

  What kind of animal is this? It's a horse?

• 13:33Bobby Lee?

  It's a unicorn.

• 13:34Andrew Santino?

  Ah.

• 13:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's an orange unicorn, yeah.

• 13:36Andrew Santino?

  Do we believe?

• 13:37Bobby Lee?

  Do I believe in unicorns?

• 13:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 13:39Bobby Lee?

  I believe that some, there are some horses that have head mutations.

• 13:43Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 13:43Bobby Lee?

  Right? Maybe an extra bone, right, that had been perceived. You would think that a horse at one point had some sort of like bone.

• 13:50Andrew Santino?

  In the same way we had a tail.

• 13:52Bobby Lee?

  Exact, or no, what I'm saying is.

• 13:53Andrew Santino?

  No?

• 13:54Bobby Lee?

  Some, no, because sometimes, I'm not making fun of people, but some, I'm not.

• 13:58Andrew Santino?

  Is this gonna be a Spina Biffa bit?

• 14:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. I was gonna go Spina Biffa, huh? Right? But I'm gonna switch gears. You know, some people are born with like nine arms in India, some girl, and then they worship, they worship her as a god, as a god, right? And it's like, so, you know, I think that maybe a horse might have some sort of.

• 14:17Andrew Santino?

  Petroting.

• 14:18Bobby Lee?

  Petroting bone. Or something, you know.

• 14:20Andrew Santino?

  A sa- sahola.

• 14:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's an, uh, people call it the Asian unicorn.

• 14:24Andrew Santino?

  It looks like an eye back.

• 14:26Bobby Lee?

  Oh, Asian unicorn. Zoom in on one of them.

• 14:27Andrew Santino?

  Don't get me started on those, brother. Asian unicorn.

• 14:31Bobby Lee?

  Tell me about the Asian.

• 14:32Speaker 02

  People think that they're unicorns, but it's just this thing in Asia, usually.

• 14:37Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 14:39Speaker 02

  Oh, I see it.

• 14:39Andrew Santino?

  Now, show, show Bobby, speaking of which, show Bobby this woman, I have a theory, and you have to tell me your opinion if you're, if you think I'm crazy. This is a woman on TikTok who I came across, who her entire thing is, hey, don't you want a Chinese girlfriend? I could take care of you. And all her videos are, what are you doing not having a Chinese girlfriend? Is this Chinese propaganda or is this just AI?

• 15:04Bobby Lee?

  Before I see it, I'm gonna look at you right now, okay? I'm a professional when it comes to Chinese videos.

• 15:09Andrew Santino?

  Brother, that's why I brought it for you.

• 15:11Bobby Lee?

  All right.

• 15:11Andrew Santino?

  I wouldn't bring this to anybody but you.

• 15:13Bobby Lee?

  And, and so thank you for bringing me this material. Go ahead, I'll, I'll be able to.

• 15:16Andrew Santino?

  You'll be able to tell if this is Chinese propaganda or if this is actually a real video, because I don't know if it's AI.

• 15:20Bobby Lee?

  Well, I know, so go ahead.

• 15:22Andrew Santino?

  Let's see.

• 15:25Speaker 04

  Why are you still outside? Your Chinese girlfriend Weiwei is waiting you on the couch now.

• 15:31Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 15:33Speaker 04

  You say we could have sat here?

• 15:36Bobby Lee?

  Sat here.

• 15:37Andrew Santino?

  Sat.

• 15:38Bobby Lee?

  Mm-hmm.

• 15:40Speaker 04

  You and me.

• 15:43Speaker 04

  Watch some TV together, but you decide to just go somewhere by yourself, not even think about me.

• 15:50Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 15:51Speaker 04

  So I'm really sad.

• 15:52Andrew Santino?

  She's sad.

• 15:53Speaker 04

  And don't talk to me again.

• 15:55Andrew Santino?

  Don't talk to her.

• 15:55Speaker 04

  Otherwise.

• 15:58Speaker 04

  You are not allowed to eat my noodles.

• 16:01Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 16:01Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 16:02Speaker 04

  Got it?

• 16:03Bobby Lee?

  Got it, I got it, I got it. Yeah.

• 16:04Andrew Santino?

  Is this real?

• 16:06Bobby Lee?

  It's a real video.

• 16:07Andrew Santino?

  Go to the next one. Go to, just click on any of them. Now, watch.

• 16:10Speaker 04

  If you cannot find the love of your life in your own country, why don't you come to China? You can find me. Got it?

• 16:21Andrew Santino?

  Click on another one.

• 16:22Speaker 04

  My baby boy.

• 16:23Andrew Santino?

  This is.

• 16:23Speaker 04

  Well, this video is for the baby boy who likes Chinese girlfriend.

• 16:28Andrew Santino?

  Brother.

• 16:28Speaker 04

  If you don't like Chinese girlfriend, you can screw it away now. And if you made it to now. Here is the gift to you all.

• 16:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, this is a Jimmy Oh Yang girl.

• 16:44Andrew Santino?

  Let me tell you something.

• 16:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:46Andrew Santino?

  I don't know, uh, cuz I'm, she's talking to baby boy.

• 16:48Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean?

• 16:48Andrew Santino?

  I think I'm baby boy.

• 16:50Speaker 02

  Are you turned on?

• 16:51Andrew Santino?

  I love this girl. It's working.

• 16:53Bobby Lee?

  It's what.

• 16:54Andrew Santino?

  China's so good.

• 16:55Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 16:55Speaker 02

  No, she's a spy with.

• 16:57Bobby Lee?

  No, white, white dudes, no, white dudes love this XPAC, PAX thing, right?

• 17:02Andrew Santino?

  XPACs?

• 17:04Bobby Lee?

  Expat.

• 17:05Andrew Santino?

  What, do you know what expat means?

• 17:06Bobby Lee?

  Ex, ex-patriot?

• 17:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 17:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 17:08Andrew Santino?

  That's people who live there.

• 17:09Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 17:10Andrew Santino?

  But this is trying to get me to move to China.

• 17:12Bobby Lee?

  I know, but that's what I'm saying. White dudes like you, they, you love to go to these kind of countries and you, these girls get your, like, you know, what it is, is she's, um. She's from the Orient.

• 17:23Speaker 02

  Exotic.

• 17:24Bobby Lee?

  She's exotic.

• 17:25Andrew Santino?

  Hmm.

• 17:26Bobby Lee?

  She's mystical.

• 17:27Andrew Santino?

  Let me tell you, it's working.

• 17:28Bobby Lee?

  Slanted vagina.

• 17:31Bobby Lee?

  No, that's hacky.

• 17:32Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 17:34Andrew Santino?

  But, but I'm telling you, this is working. So this is Chinese propaganda.

• 17:38Bobby Lee?

  Hacky.

• 17:38Andrew Santino?

  At its finest level, because I'm telling you, I sat.

• 17:41Bobby Lee?

  I wanna go too.

• 17:42Andrew Santino?

  On the toilet.

• 17:42Bobby Lee?

  I think I wanna go.

• 17:43Andrew Santino?

  I watched a hundred of it.

• 17:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 17:44Andrew Santino?

  Keep going. Click on any other one.

• 17:46Bobby Lee?

  Why, dude?

• 17:48Andrew Santino?

  Big baby boy.

• 17:53Andrew Santino?

  Oh, cute. Drop the dumpling.

• 17:56Andrew Santino?

  She wants to sleep with you with the dumplings. Got it?

• 17:58Bobby Lee?

  I got it. Push pause for a second.

• 18:00Andrew Santino?

  Baby boy, it's working.

• 18:01Bobby Lee?

  I know, what?

• 18:02Andrew Santino?

  China is working its magic on me.

• 18:05Bobby Lee?

  When twenty-something-year-olds wears, wear this private school, you kind of, you know what I mean?

• 18:10Andrew Santino?

  They do that all over, all over Asia.

• 18:11Bobby Lee?

  They do.

• 18:12Andrew Santino?

  It's a big thing.

• 18:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but they usually wait, after senior year, they ditch the fucking, she's in her twenties wearing it.

• 18:19Andrew Santino?

  She could be in her forties. I have no idea.

• 18:21Bobby Lee?

  She's probably in her forties wearing it, but it is cute, though.

• 18:23Andrew Santino?

  I do think even more so, she might be AI. This might not be real.

• 18:27Bobby Lee?

  That's not, dude, come on, man.

• 18:29Andrew Santino?

  What do you mean?

• 18:30Bobby Lee?

  That's not AI, dude.

• 18:31Andrew Santino?

  No, no, have you never seen like Face Swap AI where they're like dubbing in?

• 18:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, webcam girls do that, but you can tell in some lines.

• 18:38Andrew Santino?

  I don't know if you can tell, this could be, it's getting really good. And I'm telling you, dude, every video, baby boy, don't you want Chinese girlfriend?

• 18:45Bobby Lee?

  What's?

• 18:49Andrew Santino?

  I'm telling you, she's winning me over.

• 18:52Bobby Lee?

  Can you push pause for a second?

• 18:52Andrew Santino?

  I'm gonna get Chinese girlfriend.

• 18:54Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no. I'm gonna talk you out of it. So check this out.

• 18:56Andrew Santino?

  I am leaving my wife for Chinese girlfriend.

• 18:59Bobby Lee?

  I'm gonna talk you out of it. See her voice? Listen to her voice, right?

• 19:02Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 19:03Bobby Lee?

  When she's having sex with you, that's what you're gonna hear.

• 19:05Andrew Santino?

  And I'll do it right back to her.

• 19:08Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, me too.

• 19:08Bobby Lee?

  I'm coming now.

• 19:09Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, me too. I'll do it the same.

• 19:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you'll do it.

• 19:12Andrew Santino?

  Me also come, baby boy.

• 19:14Bobby Lee?

  You don't have accent, why you doing accent from when I have accent with you?

• 19:17Andrew Santino?

  I'm baby boy.

• 19:19Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, you are baby boy.

• 19:20Andrew Santino?

  See, it worked.

• 19:20Bobby Lee?

  Oh, it does work.

• 19:21Andrew Santino?

  China's got us.

• 19:22Bobby Lee?

  Baby boy, it works.

• 19:23Andrew Santino?

  This is very good propaganda in China.

• 19:25Bobby Lee?

  Can I come with you?

• 19:25Andrew Santino?

  This is the kind of stuff, yes, come, let's go for the.

• 19:28Bobby Lee?

  Where would I go? I mean, does she have a friend?

• 19:30Andrew Santino?

  No, you're a baby boy too.

• 19:31Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I know, but, oh, together.

• 19:32Andrew Santino?

  We're together boyfriend.

• 19:33Bobby Lee?

  Ah, together baby boy.

• 19:34Andrew Santino?

  Together baby boys.

• 19:36Bobby Lee?

  Baby boys.

• 19:37Andrew Santino?

  Baby boys.

• 19:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I see. You know what I used to do? I used to take, I used to go to like, if you go to Philadelphia, like, every city has a talent agency.

• 19:47Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 19:47Bobby Lee?

  Right? And there used to be one called Taxi Talent Agency.

• 19:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 19:52Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 19:54Andrew Santino?

  I'll take it.

• 19:55Bobby Lee?

  And it was fun to watch their monologues.

• 19:58Andrew Santino?

  Oh, okay.

• 19:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like these local actors and stuff, they join this agency, and they have to pay into it.

• 20:03Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 20:04Bobby Lee?

  You know how the.

• 20:04Andrew Santino?

  So sad.

• 20:05Bobby Lee?

  So these.

• 20:06Andrew Santino?

  It's a Ponzi scheme.

• 20:06Bobby Lee?

  These age, these, if it's not the top ones in LA, these local agencies are all a money fucking scam.

• 20:14Andrew Santino?

  Well, the big ones here are scammed too.

• 20:16Bobby Lee?

  It's all a scam. It's all a scam.

• 20:17Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's awful.

• 20:18Bobby Lee?

  But it's like, um.

• 20:19Andrew Santino?

  But you pay in to work with them. You pay them for them to try to get you work.

• 20:24Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 20:25Andrew Santino?

  That's crazy.

• 20:25Bobby Lee?

  It's a crazy, you know, here's the thing, if you're a young actor and a comic, and sometimes I say serious things, but this is serious, they work for you.

• 20:33Andrew Santino?

  Well, they can.

• 20:34Bobby Lee?

  No, you hire, yeah, but you're hiring the agency, like, people go, oh, well, I don't want them to fire me, or, you know what I mean? If I didn't do this right or this, you know what I mean? Or it's, it's like, dude, they fucking work for you.

• 20:44Andrew Santino?

  They, but if you're not getting a lot of work, Bob, it's hard to justify that for a young, we were the same way, that's really difficult. It's hard to, to say you work for me when you're not getting any work or you don't have anything to show for it. It's tough. So you are scared of them. I was always scared of them. The only reason you're not is because of your level of success.

• 21:00Speaker 02

  Until you make it, yeah.

• 21:01Andrew Santino?

  Right?

• 21:01Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, okay. Let me try to spin my way out of it.

• 21:05Andrew Santino?

  Not gonna. Yeah, you can't unravel this. That is the truth. You were scared of them too.

• 21:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but when I'm, no, but I, you know, first, my, my rule was, as a young comic.

• 21:14Andrew Santino?

  Don't talk about Fight Club.

• 21:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 21:16Andrew Santino?

  That's the first rule.

• 21:17Bobby Lee?

  That's, it is the very first rule. Yeah, yeah. And then, you know, and then, um, but my, the rule is this, is I never. Sent a headshot to an agency. I never tried to get an agent.

• 21:31Andrew Santino?

  You were successful as a young man, though, dude.

• 21:33Bobby Lee?

  And then what I'm saying is that they, they came to me.

• 21:36Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, because you were successful.

• 21:37Bobby Lee?

  So I would tell young comics, they'll come to you when you're ready.

• 21:40Andrew Santino?

  Here's why what you're saying is invalid.

• 21:42Bobby Lee?

  Hold on, it's in my head.

• 21:43Andrew Santino?

  Please. This is why they came to you.

• 21:47Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 21:47Andrew Santino?

  This kind of behavior is why they came to you.

• 21:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 21:51Andrew Santino?

  You are a once-in-a-lifetime talent. So yes, they came to you. You're a special individual.

• 21:56Bobby Lee?

  Everyone's a special individual.

• 21:58Andrew Santino?

  I disagree highly.

• 22:00Bobby Lee?

  No, I think everyone is a special individual. Everyone has their own skills.

• 22:03Andrew Santino?

  In the game of entertainment, you're a unique talent that of course they came to you. You're a once-in-a-generation guy.

• 22:08Speaker 02

  An Asian unicorn.

• 22:10Andrew Santino?

  You're an Asian unicorn. You're a fucking eye back or whatever that thing was.

• 22:12Speaker 02

  Jordan is once-in-a-generation. You're talking about like Daniel Day-Lewis.

• 22:16Andrew Santino?

  I think Bobby Lee is a once-in-a-generation talent in comedy, and I'll stand by that till the day I die.

• 22:20Speaker 02

  He's a great friend.

• 22:21Bobby Lee?

  No, you're against me.

• 22:23Speaker 02

  No, no, no.

• 22:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're, you so doubt.

• 22:25Speaker 02

  You're in the NBA.

• 22:26Bobby Lee?

  And displeasure.

• 22:27Speaker 02

  You're just not LeBron James or Jordan.

• 22:30Andrew Santino?

  Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. First of all.

• 22:33Bobby Lee?

  Who are they?

• 22:36Andrew Santino?

  All right, I'll tell you, you know who Bobby is? Bobby is Bobby is Allen Iverson. Oh, I love that.

• 22:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 22:44Andrew Santino?

  Powerful, unique, very different from all the other talents.

• 22:47Bobby Lee?

  Scott Chambers.

• 22:48Andrew Santino?

  You're not Scott Chambers.

• 22:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm Scott Chambers.

• 22:50Andrew Santino?

  All right, you're Scott Chambers, and I gave you Allen Iverson. It was such a great.

• 22:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but Scott Chambers played for the Phoenix Suns.

• 22:54Andrew Santino?

  Do you know who Allen Iverson was?

• 22:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 22:56Andrew Santino?

  He was an unbelievable talent.

• 22:58Bobby Lee?

  Played for Detroit Pistons, right?

• 22:59Andrew Santino?

  There's Bob. Allen Iverson played for the 76ers.

• 23:01Bobby Lee?

  Oh, 76ers.

• 23:01Andrew Santino?

  There's you. You're more like Dennis Rodman. That's actually more, this is more accurate. Yeah.

• 23:05Bobby Lee?

  Okay, I'll be the Dennis Rodman.

• 23:06Andrew Santino?

  And I'm Scottie Pippen.

• 23:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I have a little piercings in my pee pee.

• 23:08Andrew Santino?

  I'm a great two man.

• 23:11Andrew Santino?

  I'm the best two man.

• 23:11Bobby Lee?

  Would you ever get piercings in your pee pee?

• 23:13Andrew Santino?

  I don't have any, I wouldn't even get a piercing of my ear.

• 23:16Bobby Lee?

  Oh, all right.

• 23:16Andrew Santino?

  Let alone my wiener. That's insane. Why would you ever?

• 23:18Bobby Lee?

  I know, but you know, I've always like, you know how they stick a metal bar through and then you see like a hot topic-y looking guy?

• 23:24Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 23:24Bobby Lee?

  Dude, it just gives me a lot more pleasure, dude.

• 23:26Andrew Santino?

  No chance.

• 23:27Bobby Lee?

  You know, you have a metal rod in your head, dude.

• 23:29Andrew Santino?

  Masochism. It's like.

• 23:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it can't feel good, dude.

• 23:32Andrew Santino?

  It makes the nerve endings more sensitive. Yeah, but then it also may kill your nerves at the exact same time. The, you know.

• 23:37Bobby Lee?

  My nerves are fine.

• 23:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, your fine nerves.

• 23:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 23:40Andrew Santino?

  Nobody needs to put a bar through their genitals. I do want to get my nipples pierced. I've thought about that for years. Well, that's funny. Imagine if I take my shirt off, I go home, my wife's laying in bed, and I just have two huge nipple piercings.

• 23:51Bobby Lee?

  You have to have a chain linking them.

• 23:54Andrew Santino?

  Rocket Money!

• 23:56Bobby Lee?

  The best gift you've ever given me, Andrew Santino, my friend.

• 23:59Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 24:00Bobby Lee?

  Dear love, um, you saved me money.

• 24:02Andrew Santino?

  I did save you money.

• 24:03Bobby Lee?

  And, um, you saved me money because I had unwanted subscriptions that were bleeding me dry.

• 24:07Andrew Santino?

  You were, you were spending an absurd amount of money on stuff that I don't think you knew was on your phone.

• 24:11Bobby Lee?

  $12,000 a year.

• 24:12Andrew Santino?

  The iPhone had unloaded apps that he was paying for, so they weren't even on his phone anymore.

• 24:17Bobby Lee?

  So, um, you know, and Rocket Money helps you with a dashboard. You can see all of it.

• 24:21Andrew Santino?

  You can set budgets and goals. It puts it all in one place. So whether you're just wanting to save money on wasted apps, or you actually want to make a financial goal for the future, they give you a clear view of your financial picture on this dashboard, so you can do investments, or you can just save and stop wasting money on apps on the internet.

• 24:38Bobby Lee?

  They also have automatic savings that grow toward goals with adjustable amounts and frequency. Set it and forget it approach.

• 24:45Andrew Santino?

  Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitor your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com/badfriends.

• 24:55Bobby Lee?

  That's rocketmoney.com/badfriends. Rocketmoney.com/badfriends.

• 24:57Andrew Santino?

  Bad Friends! Talkspace.com.

• 25:00Bobby Lee?

  Oh, boy, you know what's, um, bud? Um, Talkspace saved my life because, you know, I had a really tough upbringing and, you know, I had to deal with a lot of issues later in my life, and, um, I think that therapy is the most important thing in my life. Talkspace makes getting the help you need easy, accessible, and affordable. Talkspace is the number one rated online therapy, bringing you professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatrists that you can access anytime, anywhere.

• 25:25Andrew Santino?

  That's right. Talkspace therapy, psychiatry is covered by most insurers, and most insured members pay copay of $0.00. We've both been using therapy our, uh, most of our adult lives, and I think it's wonderful thing to get out whatever you need to get out. It doesn't matter where you are, when you are. You can use Talkspace everywhere that you are. And as a listener to this podcast, you're going to get $80 off your first month with Talkspace when you go to talkspace.com, enter the promo code SPACE80.

• 25:48Bobby Lee?

  That's SPACE80, S-P-A-C-E-80, to match with a licensed therapist today.

• 25:53Andrew Santino?

  Go to talkspace.com and enter the promo code SPACE80.

• 25:56Bobby Lee?

  Kachava! Oh, my God, I love Kachava. I'll tell you why. It's nutrient-dense.

• 26:01Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 26:02Bobby Lee?

  Okay? Great flavors.

• 26:03Andrew Santino?

  Delicious flavors.

• 26:04Bobby Lee?

  Right, and easy to make.

• 26:06Andrew Santino?

  It's so simple. You and I can do it, and we don't know how to do almost anything else.

• 26:10Bobby Lee?

  I'm a cook because of this.

• 26:11Andrew Santino?

  You're, well, yeah, you're a Kachava cook. It's got, uh, prebiotic fiber, uh, probiotics, and clinically studied postbiotics that support your gut barrier function. I'm telling you, since Bobby got me on Kachava, it's changed my thoughts about his suggestions to what I should eat and drink, because the flavors are so good, and it doesn't have a bunch of nonsense in it. Just two scoops of Kachava provides complete nutrition with protein, fiber, greens, and so much more.

• 26:34Bobby Lee?

  Chocolate, vanilla, chai, matcha, coconut, strawberry, coffee, chocolate mint, cinnamon French toast, and salted caramel. Those are the flavors, dog.

• 26:43Andrew Santino?

  Those are the flavors, my dog. And cinnamon French toast is by far one of my favorites. It's so good, and it's also not bad for you, which you assume it would be because it tastes so good. You gotta try Kachava's new three-in-one digestive boost at kachava.com and use the code BADFRIENDS for 15% off your order.

• 26:58Bobby Lee?

  That's Kachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A dot com, code BADFRIENDS.

• 27:03Andrew Santino?

  Carlos, you just came back from Austin. You went to a game? I did. I went and saw us, went to Florida. Sorry about that. No, it's okay, but I got on the field. Thank y'all. You're welcome.

• 27:13Bobby Lee?

  How'd he get on the field?

• 27:14Andrew Santino?

  He's living a privileged life now.

• 27:15Bobby Lee?

  It's.

• 27:16Andrew Santino?

  You know what he says? He'll email and be like, "Hey, I'm Carlos Herrera. I'm the producer of Bad Friends. I'm in town." And people are like, "Let's roll out the carpet in case he's with us." That's so not what happens. That is exactly. Tell me that's not what he does.

• 27:27Bobby Lee?

  He does it every time.

• 27:28Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. What do you do then?

• 27:29Bobby Lee?

  He also, Andrew and Bobby might come.

• 27:31Andrew Santino?

  Yes, exactly. That's. Yeah.

• 27:34Bobby Lee?

  Except when we're on the road together as my tour manager, right? No restaurant setup.

• 27:37Andrew Santino?

  None, right.

• 27:39Andrew Santino?

  I watched this great speech about, um, AI, and I'm gonna do it not justice, but it is, we could pull it up if you want, but it was about how this guy was talking about how cows know humans exist. Well, he's great. You, you watch that clip?

• 27:56Bobby Lee?

  Okay, who?

• 27:57Andrew Santino?

  I just want to send it to Carlos. Carlos, you'll play this.

• 27:59Bobby Lee?

  It's a cow?

• 28:00Andrew Santino?

  It's the, no, it's, it's really.

• 28:03Bobby Lee?

  It's an raisley cow?

• 28:04Andrew Santino?

  No, it's an Israeli. Uh. Cows know that humans exist. They can see us. But cows don't know that money exists. Like, I can sell you a cow, and you transfer money to my bank account. This is invisible to the cow. Even if you're an animal rights activist, and you try to explain to the cow, "Look, there is this thing called money, and there is the stock exchange, and there is the bond market." How do you explain the bond market to cows, even though it controls their lives? What's happening now, or in the near future? It's not that AIs will create, will be robots that will come in the street and shoot us. The AIs are taking over the financial system. They are taking over all the bureaucracies because they are bureaucratic natives.

• 28:49Andrew Santino?

  For us, most of us, bureaucracy is difficult, is alien, because we are millions of years older than the bureaucracies. Bureaucracies were invented just in the last 5, 10,000 years. We were born in the forest, not in the office, so it's alien to us. For AIs, bureaucracy is home. They were born in the office. They are bureaucratic natives. No human banker can remember all the transactions of the bank. An AI banker can. They will take over the bureaucracies, like the financial system, create much more sophisticated financial systems and legal systems that we can't understand. So just as cows

• 29:31Andrew Santino?

  can't understand the financial system that controls their lives today, we will not be able to understand the AI financial system that will control our lives in 10 or 20 years. Which means that we are the cows of the future. We are the cows of the future. That's like, that, honestly, it's beautifully done, and it also scares the living shit out of me. We are the cows of the future. We will never be able to understand what this thing is able to do.

• 30:01Bobby Lee?

  I don't understand it now.

• 30:03Andrew Santino?

  I know.

• 30:03Bobby Lee?

  You're the cow of the present. Yeah, yeah.

• 30:08Andrew Santino?

  Wait, he's the calf. He's the calf. He's getting there.

• 30:10Bobby Lee?

  Say it again, man.

• 30:12Andrew Santino?

  You are.

• 30:13Bobby Lee?

  Say it again, man!

• 30:14Andrew Santino?

  You are the cow of the present.

• 30:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 30:18Andrew Santino?

  You are the present cow.

• 30:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's, it's scary, but, you know, I, I think we're all just bracing for.

• 30:25Andrew Santino?

  Brace for impact.

• 30:26Bobby Lee?

  There's a lot of, there's three things colliding.

• 30:29Andrew Santino?

  What are they?

• 30:31Bobby Lee?

  We have a forever war we're in.

• 30:33Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, forever war.

• 30:35Bobby Lee?

  Forever war, yay! Yeah.

• 30:38Andrew Santino?

  Let's never stop.

• 30:39Bobby Lee?

  Let's never stop. We have, um, this, we have global warming at our doorstep.

• 30:43Andrew Santino?

  Global warming!

• 30:45Bobby Lee?

  And we have this AI thing. Not only data centers, but we don't know what it is, you know?

• 30:50Andrew Santino?

  The unknown of AI.

• 30:51Bobby Lee?

  The unknown of AI. You know what I mean? And, um.

• 30:54Andrew Santino?

  These things are colliding at once.

• 30:56Bobby Lee?

  I, I took that class.

• 30:57Andrew Santino?

  Media training. Media training. I know, you did media training for your new special.

• 31:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 31:00Andrew Santino?

  How'd that go?

• 31:04Andrew Santino?

  Can you list me some of the things you shouldn't talk about or should talk about?

• 31:08Bobby Lee?

  Uh, no comment is, I think, something I learned.

• 31:11Andrew Santino?

  No comment.

• 31:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no comment.

• 31:14Andrew Santino?

  Who set this up? Hulu?

• 31:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 31:16Andrew Santino?

  It's great.

• 31:16Bobby Lee?

  There was. Forever, everything. Forever, what? It, it lasted hours.

• 31:21Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 31:21Bobby Lee?

  They just bombarded me with questions, and I just came up with answers.

• 31:25Andrew Santino?

  Well, it's kind of like when I did that movie, you have to do sexual harassment training. Everyone has to sit in.

• 31:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 31:29Andrew Santino?

  And of course, without fail, everyone's screens are off. So this poor man's speaking to just a bunch of Xed-out screens that are just, legally, you have to be on the Zoom. And of course, without fail, someone, not gonna say who, I think I know who, I figured it out, someone cracks a joke in the middle of it, and all you hear is like, "What if someone's breasts are undeniably nice?" And then everyone laughs, and then you go, "What crew member was that?"

• 31:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 31:57Andrew Santino?

  Like, I gotta know who that was. So I went fishing to find out who it was.

• 32:00Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you found out?

• 32:00Andrew Santino?

  I think I know the guy.

• 32:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, but. You should give him $100.

• 32:04Andrew Santino?

  I should give him $100.

• 32:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's a funny thing.

• 32:07Andrew Santino?

  It was funny.

• 32:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:08Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but every time we do those sexual harassment trains, before you do, you know, a thing, it's always the same. Everyone is tired, on mute, with their cameras off, and he's speaking to 19, 20 boxes of people that are the heads of the department that just have to like, listen to. Now, what's the right thing to say if you want to wish someone a good night that night?

• 32:26Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 32:27Andrew Santino?

  Of course, someone's like.

• 32:28Bobby Lee?

  Let's do something. I want to figure it out.

• 32:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 32:30Bobby Lee?

  All right, so, um.

• 32:31Andrew Santino?

  I'm not, I don't know.

• 32:32Bobby Lee?

  So we're, we're at the water cooler. I'm sure, is that still a thing in offices?

• 32:37Andrew Santino?

  Well, this is on a movie set.

• 32:38Bobby Lee?

  Okay, let's do it in an office. Craft table.

• 32:40Andrew Santino?

  Okay, craft service table.

• 32:42Bobby Lee?

  Okay, I'm an actress then.

• 32:43Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 32:43Bobby Lee?

  And I'm wearing the most stunning dress.

• 32:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, beautiful, right?

• 32:47Bobby Lee?

  You've ever seen.

• 32:48Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 32:48Bobby Lee?

  Right, and there's a little bit of cleavage showing.

• 32:50Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 32:50Bobby Lee?

  Right? But my skin is glistening.

• 32:53Andrew Santino?

  Glowing today.

• 32:53Bobby Lee?

  There's like, some sparkles, some call it glitter.

• 32:57Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm. It could be glitter.

• 32:59Bobby Lee?

  It could be glitter. Could also be sparkles.

• 33:00Andrew Santino?

  Of course.

• 33:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and, um, we're at the craft service and, and um, I like your suit.

• 33:07Andrew Santino?

  Thank you so much. I really appreciate that.

• 33:11Andrew Santino?

  Are you gonna, can I grab some of the peanuts?

• 33:14Bobby Lee?

  No, um, do you want one of these, um, a Lunchable?

• 33:18Andrew Santino?

  I'm alright, thank you so much.

• 33:19Bobby Lee?

  Here's Lunchable.

• 33:20Andrew Santino?

  Oh, well, thank you so much.

• 33:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, here you go, Lunchable.

• 33:21Andrew Santino?

  Awesome, thank you.

• 33:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, you're welcome.

• 33:23Andrew Santino?

  Have a good day.

• 33:25Bobby Lee?

  Do you like my dress?

• 33:27Andrew Santino?

  Uh, yeah.

• 33:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 33:28Andrew Santino?

  Yes.

• 33:28Bobby Lee?

  What do you like about it?

• 33:31Andrew Santino?

  It's a nice dress.

• 33:32Bobby Lee?

  You wanna go over lines?

• 33:33Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 33:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Do duty.

• 33:35Andrew Santino?

  Yes.

• 33:35Bobby Lee?

  Don't go there.

• 33:36Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 33:38Bobby Lee?

  Because.

• 33:38Andrew Santino?

  Because?

• 33:40Bobby Lee?

  Do you know your lines?

• 33:40Andrew Santino?

  I don't know.

• 33:42Bobby Lee?

  Oh, so you do it on set?

• 33:43Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 33:43Bobby Lee?

  Oh, okay.

• 33:44Andrew Santino?

  I learn them live.

• 33:45Bobby Lee?

  Anyway, bye!

• 33:45Andrew Santino?

  Bye, see?

• 33:46Bobby Lee?

  So you don't say anything?

• 33:47Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 33:47Bobby Lee?

  Okay. Remember the English office, they were doing that like, like, training session?

• 33:52Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 33:52Bobby Lee?

  Right, with the hotel?

• 33:53Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm. The British office was so...

• 33:55Bobby Lee?

  The British office is so funny, yeah.

• 33:57Andrew Santino?

  I mean, I think ours was good, too.

• 33:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, American office was great.

• 34:00Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, British better, though.

• 34:01Bobby Lee?

  No, they're both good, they're different.

• 34:03Andrew Santino?

  Unique.

• 34:04Bobby Lee?

  They're both unique, very good shows.

• 34:06Andrew Santino?

  Well, yeah, but it's hard to duplicate something you already have a, a, a sta- there's a standard of... They did it so well, it's hard to do it again. It'd be, it'd be hard to do Arrested Development with a whole new cast.

• 34:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:16Andrew Santino?

  To do Friends with a whole new cast, they, they can't even do that, and that's the simplest concept in the world.

• 34:20Bobby Lee?

  I mean, I was in the replacement show.

• 34:23Andrew Santino?

  For Friends?

• 34:26Andrew Santino?

  What was that called?

• 34:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. So the year Friends got canceled, I got a pilot. Right? And it was me, Rinazizzi.

• 34:35Andrew Santino?

  It's called More Friends?

• 34:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I forgot what it was called, but it, instead of, um, being in New York at a coffee shop and stuff like that, we were all in Indy. So we had tight pants.

• 34:46Andrew Santino?

  Oh, right.

• 34:46Bobby Lee?

  And we're, it, it was more of a rock, rock and roll-y.

• 34:49Andrew Santino?

  CBGB style.

• 34:50Bobby Lee?

  It was like a CBGB kind of, uh...

• 34:52Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, cool, cool.

• 34:53Bobby Lee?

  A show, yeah.

• 34:54Andrew Santino?

  I like that.

• 34:54Bobby Lee?

  It was three girls, and one of them was Zoe Lister Jones.

• 34:57Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah, so talented.

• 34:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and Steve Howie, I love Steve Howie.

• 34:59Andrew Santino?

  So good.

• 35:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. But it was the, one of the worst things I've ever seen in my life.

• 35:03Andrew Santino?

  Was it bad?

• 35:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:04Andrew Santino?

  Who did it, NBC?

• 35:06Bobby Lee?

  It was NBC, yeah, what was it?

• 35:08Andrew Santino?

  Friends with Better Lives.

• 35:09Bobby Lee?

  No, that's not it. That's not it. It's a pilot.

• 35:13Andrew Santino?

  You're probably not gonna find it.

• 35:14Bobby Lee?

  Lost a time.

• 35:16Andrew Santino?

  That's what's so incredible about those pilots is that they just kinda came and went, and there were thousands of them.

• 35:20Bobby Lee?

  How many did you do?

• 35:22Andrew Santino?

  Four. I did one with Bill Belk, he brought up last night that I didn't even remember we did together.

• 35:25Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 35:26Andrew Santino?

  Me, him, and Black Jesus.

• 35:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 35:28Andrew Santino?

  Do you remember Black Jesus?

• 35:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, an adult swim.

• 35:30Andrew Santino?

  He's so good. Me, him, and Black Jesus, and Bill Belk, and we did a pilot, and I don't even remember. Oh, what is it? What was it called? Unaired, winning ugly, that's exactly right. And later renamed Black Dad.

• 35:42Bobby Lee?

  Black Dad.

• 35:42Andrew Santino?

  It was a, he had an adopt, he married a white girl, or started a relationship with this white lady, Slink Johnson, shout out Black Jesus. Uh, yeah, Malcolm Deely, um, and he, she had a kid, and so he's like new black stepdad in the neighborhood, in the white neighborhood. It's basically the show Neighbors that they do now with Cedric, reversed, right?

• 36:00Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 36:01Andrew Santino?

  Isn't that the opposite?

• 36:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Wow.

• 36:03Andrew Santino?

  It was pretty fucking great, actually, and Bill was super fun. Bill Belk is the man.

• 36:07Bobby Lee?

  I love Bill.

• 36:08Andrew Santino?

  The best, dude.

• 36:08Bobby Lee?

  He's very funny.

• 36:09Andrew Santino?

  But yeah, Black Dad, it was originally called Winning Ugly, that's right, to Black Dad. Black Dad, they're really trying to put it on the nose there.

• 36:17Andrew Santino?

  And then Father, he's black, yes, perfect.

• 36:19Bobby Lee?

  What year was this?

• 36:21Andrew Santino?

  God, I don't even know, you'd have to look it up, I have, I have no idea what year that was. What year, just type in what year.

• 36:26Bobby Lee?

  Why do we forget about pilots?

• 36:28Andrew Santino?

  Because they were painful.

• 36:31Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean?

• 36:31Andrew Santino?

  Well, it just sucks when it doesn't go, and you kinda put some, 2016, you put some worth into it, and it kinda hurts your feelings when it doesn't go, and you're like...

• 36:39Bobby Lee?

  It's...

• 36:40Andrew Santino?

  You wanna wash it away.

• 36:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 36:41Andrew Santino?

  Kinda want it to like...

• 36:42Bobby Lee?

  Here, here, when you get, okay, you get the call, right?

• 36:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 36:46Bobby Lee?

  You, you're testing.

• 36:48Andrew Santino?

  Huge.

• 36:48Bobby Lee?

  Just to get that call is winning the lottery.

• 36:51Andrew Santino?

  It's a huge deal.

• 36:52Bobby Lee?

  Alright, so now, you're up against two other, they have two other options. You don't, you, you also don't know what your placement is.

• 36:58Andrew Santino?

  Right, you don't know where you are in the race.

• 36:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you could be third option. Okay? But you go in and you test, right, then, for, sometimes they call and they go, "You got it."

• 37:09Andrew Santino?

  You got it.

• 37:09Bobby Lee?

  It's a second feeling of lottery.

• 37:11Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 37:12Bobby Lee?

  You dance!

• 37:13Andrew Santino?

  You dance.

• 37:14Bobby Lee?

  In the living room with your wife or whoever you have.

• 37:16Andrew Santino?

  You dance, you dance.

• 37:16Bobby Lee?

  With the dogs.

• 37:17Andrew Santino?

  You must dance with the dogs.

• 37:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, got it, right? Then, you, you go, you do, you, you meet the cast, you do the fucking table read, and then you do the whole thing, and then you wait.

• 37:26Andrew Santino?

  And you sit and wait?

• 37:27Bobby Lee?

  Right. And you have to understand, back then, especially in the early 2010s, you know what I mean, before that, right? If, it gets picked up and it does well, you're gonna, you're gonna kill it.

• 37:42Andrew Santino?

  It changes your life.

• 37:43Bobby Lee?

  It changes your life.

• 37:44Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 37:45Bobby Lee?

  Right? But the odds of it getting picked up is just as bad as the odds of getting a test.

• 37:51Andrew Santino?

  I would say we should do the percentages. I bet you the odds of a pilot that was shot in the mid 2010s was probably 15% pickup to 85% no pickup. The average is pitches heard 500, scripts ordered 70, pilots filmed 20, series picked up 5 usually.

• 38:05Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's what it was. I mean, the odds of that.

• 38:09Andrew Santino?

  It's impossible, the entire pipeline from television screen to odds of show making it series from the initial pitch are 1 to 2%.

• 38:13Bobby Lee?

  And also, you have to understand that you're talking about thousands of actors. Right? Competing.

• 38:21Andrew Santino?

  It's pretty wild.

• 38:21Bobby Lee?

  It's wild.

• 38:22Andrew Santino?

  I'm very lucky that we got to do it sometimes.

• 38:23Bobby Lee?

  Sometimes, yeah, in fact, sometimes you go into a room and you're intimidated because you see who you're against.

• 38:29Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, and you walk out.

• 38:30Bobby Lee?

  You don't do that?

• 38:31Andrew Santino?

  I go back to the car and I call and I go, "This is not gonna happen." This is not gonna happen. There's no fucking way they're picking, John C. Riley's up there.

• 38:40Bobby Lee?

  I know!

• 38:40Andrew Santino?

  I'm gonna go home.

• 38:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I used to see Seth Green, all the Little Ones.

• 38:44Andrew Santino?

  The Little Ones.

• 38:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, all the Little Ones I had to compete with, Seth Green, The Little Ones.

• 38:47Andrew Santino?

  Did you ever do that pilot, The Little Ones?

• 38:49Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 38:49Andrew Santino?

  I would've been...

• 38:50Bobby Lee?

  I couldn't even get that.

• 38:51Andrew Santino?

  Couldn't even get on The Little Ones?

• 38:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, couldn't even get The Little Ones, yeah. But, um, yeah, you, you would, um, the, did I ever tell you this Stone Street story?

• 39:00Andrew Santino?

  On the commercial?

• 39:02Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 39:02Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 39:03Bobby Lee?

  So I remember, I wasn't booking because I was such a perfectionist.

• 39:11Andrew Santino?

  Where did that go?

• 39:16Andrew Santino?

  I miss those days.

• 39:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I was.

• 39:18Andrew Santino?

  You were such a perfectionist.

• 39:20Bobby Lee?

  If I messed up on one line or, or a word, it would spin me.

• 39:25Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 39:26Bobby Lee?

  It would...

• 39:26Andrew Santino?

  You still, I still see that in you.

• 39:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 39:28Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 39:28Bobby Lee?

  I'll spin, I'll go, "Fuck!", you know what I mean?

• 39:30Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, lose your mind.

• 39:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but before it was worse, right? And so I was walking to this audition, and I was sitting there, and there was like the same thing, 30 other guys in there. But Stone Street was shooting Modern Family on that lot.

• 39:43Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 39:43Bobby Lee?

  And he followed me into the audition room. I think it was Sony, maybe.

• 39:47Andrew Santino?

  Did that help?

• 39:49Bobby Lee?

  And he said something to me. I'm sitting there, I see Stone Street walking, and he, and I go, "What's up, dude?", and he leans in and he whispers one thing in my ear.

• 39:57Andrew Santino?

  Hmm.

• 39:58Bobby Lee?

  He goes, "It doesn't need to be word perfect."

• 40:01Andrew Santino?

  It doesn't need to be word perfect?

• 40:03Bobby Lee?

  It doesn't need to be perfect.

• 40:04Andrew Santino?

  Oh, it doesn't need to be perfect?

• 40:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I, I fucked it up, can I say that again? No, it doesn't need to be perfect. He leans in and goes...

• 40:09Andrew Santino?

  The irony of that, he's so beautiful.

• 40:11Bobby Lee?

  It's so beautiful, yeah, but you're gonna cut that part out.

• 40:13Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 40:14Bobby Lee?

  Do it?

• 40:14Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 40:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Give me another shot at the line!

• 40:17Andrew Santino?

  This is what would happen.

• 40:19Bobby Lee?

  What? It doesn't need to be word perfect. It doesn't need to be word perfect, and it, he goes, "You, you're allowed to make mistakes." So...

• 40:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 40:26Bobby Lee?

  That freed me up a lot, because it's like, you know...

• 40:29Andrew Santino?

  Did you end up booking?

• 40:30Bobby Lee?

  I think I got a callback for that one, but, um...

• 40:33Andrew Santino?

  Awesome.

• 40:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. But it was a nice gesture.

• 40:35Andrew Santino?

  It was very nice.

• 40:35Bobby Lee?

  Have, has other actors been helpful to you in that way?

• 40:39Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 40:40Bobby Lee?

  Have you had advice?

• 40:40Andrew Santino?

  When I, when I tested for SNL, Molly Shannon called me through a friend to give me advice about the test, about the audition.

• 40:49Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's cool.

• 40:49Andrew Santino?

  And I think that was like one of the coolest moments ever in my life, that I was like, she didn't have to take the time to do that. And she just gave me some really nice playful advice about, "You're already prepared, you already did it. You just, you just gotta go like do the thing, knowing that they might not like what you're gonna give them, but you like it."

• 41:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 41:13Andrew Santino?

  Right? And I'm like, "Yeah, I do", and she's like, "Well, that's what's fun."

• 41:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 41:16Andrew Santino?

  Comedy's only fun if you like it.

• 41:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 41:18Andrew Santino?

  If you don't like it and it's just for them, it's never gonna be that good.

• 41:21Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 41:22Andrew Santino?

  But her calling me, just taking five minutes out of her day, I thought that was...

• 41:25Bobby Lee?

  It's respectful.

• 41:26Andrew Santino?

  It, it changed the way I viewed that test, and that's why when I tested for SNL and I flew to New York and did the thing, I'm maybe the only guy on my friend group that loved it. I loved, people had such a negative experience about the pressure and the, the weight of their shoulders of like performing at 8H on the stage. I thought it was perfect. I just loved it, cuz I was like, "Yeah, dude, I got to even get on the stage." I did the, I did a run-through...

• 41:53Bobby Lee?

  You hit the ball.

• 41:54Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it was, I got out, and they caught it, for sure, I didn't get on base, but that's fine.

• 41:59Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 41:59Andrew Santino?

  At least I got to the big league and got to try in front of Lauren and have them laugh.

• 42:03Bobby Lee?

  It probably is a mis- a mistake.

• 42:07Andrew Santino?

  No, I think I should do, I think I didn't belong on that show, it was perfect.

• 42:10Bobby Lee?

  You're, you're perfect for a sketch show.

• 42:12Andrew Santino?

  I don't, I don't think so, dude, I think, I think I'm...

• 42:14Bobby Lee?

  You do all the, dude, you think I'm perfect for a sketch show?

• 42:18Andrew Santino?

  Yes. Yes, you're literally perfect for a sketch show. You're exactly what should be on a sketch show.

• 42:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but anyway, um, but you're so talented with accents and all that, characters.

• 42:28Andrew Santino?

  But it's different, it's a different muscle that I, it's the same way I talked about to someone, a multicam versus single camera, like multicam, people know that's, that's what Friends was, that's what Seinfeld was, versus single camera, right? Versus, with single cameras, what the office is, if, for reference, people that don't know. It's a different muscle. Some people are very, very good at multicam.

• 42:46Bobby Lee?

  I'm bad at multicam.

• 42:47Andrew Santino?

  You know who's the king of multicam?

• 42:48Bobby Lee?

  Who?

• 42:48Andrew Santino?

  Charlie Sheen.

• 42:49Bobby Lee?

  Oh, he's good.

• 42:50Andrew Santino?

  Charlie Sheen was so good at multicam, he was so fucking good, that, that, this is a rumor, but I heard it was true, it's been validated... He would show up and remember his lines on the day. On the day.

• 43:04Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 43:04Andrew Santino?

  He would chew up everything and spit it out and never did he fuck up. He almost never fucked up. They were like, dude, he'd be out partying for days on end.

• 43:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 43:14Andrew Santino?

  With women and drugs.

• 43:15Bobby Lee?

  Tiger's blood?

• 43:16Andrew Santino?

  Tiger's blood.

• 43:17Bobby Lee?

  And it's, you know, can I say something? You can't even find tiger's blood anymore.

• 43:22Andrew Santino?

  Not anymore.

• 43:22Bobby Lee?

  Because of him.

• 43:23Andrew Santino?

  Not anymore.

• 43:24Bobby Lee?

  Were we trying to look Carlos?

• 43:25Andrew Santino?

  It's gone.

• 43:26Bobby Lee?

  We went to Chinatown.

• 43:27Andrew Santino?

  Avocado green mattress.

• 43:29Bobby Lee?

  So excited to tell you about our sponsor avocado green mattress. Why aren't you excited Andrew?

• 43:33Andrew Santino?

  So good. In fact, I just got, I literally just got my wife's uncle and aunt a brand new avocado green mattress. Uh, because I said, I'm telling you, you will never sleep on anything as comfortable and as incredible as this. It's so nice. We have one. Thank you.

• 43:47Bobby Lee?

  They're certified organic mattresses. Sleep cool, relieve pressure and support your body. So you can enjoy deep restorative sleep. They don't use polyurethane foams. Instead, every mattress uses healthy, natural materials. They're even handmade.

• 44:00Andrew Santino?

  They are handmade, ladies and gents. Natural materials that perform when products are made with real certified organic materials, cotton, wool and latex. They don't just feel better. They can also provide better support, breathability and durability. They're good for you and they're good for the planet. I'm a proud sponsor of them. We have them in our home and we gave them to our family because I think they're a cool company, which with also great stuff. Avocado products are made, not manufactured and thoughtfully crafted with real materials to deliver lasting comfort and support.

• 44:28Bobby Lee?

  You can experience them in person at avocado showroom or a premier retailer near you. Or shop online at avocado green mattress.com slash bad friends to check out their mattresses and furniture sale.

• 44:39Andrew Santino?

  That's avocado green mattress.com slash bad friends. Avocado green mattress.com slash bad friends. Liquid IV.

• 44:47Bobby Lee?

  Liquid IV, you know, um, my girlfriend, my beautiful girlfriend introduced me to Liquid IV. She's like, you don't drink enough water and um, we've been drinking this and um, I'm very um.

• 45:00Andrew Santino?

  Hydrated?

• 45:01Bobby Lee?

  More than that. I'm wet.

• 45:04Andrew Santino?

  Super hydrated.

• 45:04Bobby Lee?

  I'm wet inside. I'm wet inside.

• 45:06Andrew Santino?

  You're wet everywhere.

• 45:06Bobby Lee?

  I went inside. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:07Andrew Santino?

  Well, as a lot of you is water. One sec Liquid IV and 16 ounces of water is more hydrating than water alone. Of course, it's scientifically formulated to help replenish electrolytes and fluids lost from sweat and/or exercise or just living. In Bobby's case, Liquid IV helps replenish electrolytes better than water alone. Eight vitamins and nutrients in Liquid IV and the flavors are phenomenal.

• 45:26Bobby Lee?

  On the go hydration, ladies and gentlemen, clinically demonstrated to hydrate faster than water alone. Science-backed formula designed with an optimized ratio of electrolytes, essential vitamins and clinically tested nutrients.

• 45:38Andrew Santino?

  It's very, very good. I've been on an electrolyte kick lately and Liquid IV is the one I use. I like them so much. They have the hydration multiplier pack and I'm telling you, if you haven't tried it, you must. It doesn't even matter if you're working out or not, just to have it throughout the course of your day to overhydrate is a good thing. Uh, not sure what's Liquid IV flavor to try. Shop the sugar-free hydration multiplier variety pack.

• 45:58Bobby Lee?

  Tear, pour, live more. Go to liquidiv.com and get 20% off your first purchase with code 2026 BF at checkout.

• 46:09Andrew Santino?

  That's 20% off your first purchase with code 2026 BF at liquidiv.com.

• 46:14Speaker 02

  Prize picks packs are here. Rip digital packs and get real basketball, footfall and Pokemon cards on prize picks packs. Available now nationwide. Once you see your pool, you have a choice to sell back instantly for real cash or ship at home. Cash from your sale will immediately be added to your prize picks balance. It's just another way to run your game. New users, download the prize picks app today and use code Spotify to get $25 instantly in bonus packs when you buy your first $5 pack. Prize picks, run your game. 18 plus eligible areas. Terms of plaque collect responsibly.

• 46:44Bobby Lee?

  One, two, three. How about a round of applause for Dane Cook?

• 46:47Speaker 02

  Bones to play.

• 46:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 46:48Andrew Santino?

  Well, how about you introduce him the right way?

• 46:50Bobby Lee?

  No, because my dad, my dad, when he was alive, right? I remember my dad going.

• 46:55Andrew Santino?

  If, if you don't have to, if you don't want to, we don't, we'll, we just always do them.

• 46:58Bobby Lee?

  I hate the cans.

• 46:59Andrew Santino?

  Don't do it.

• 46:59Bobby Lee?

  I was back home.

• 47:00Andrew Santino?

  Let me hear how you sound real fast.

• 47:01Speaker 02

  Hey, regular speaking voice, regular speaking voice, testing one, two, three.

• 47:06Andrew Santino?

  As long as it's near your mouth, you're good.

• 47:07Speaker 02

  Okay, we good right here?

• 47:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. My father, you know, back in 2007.

• 47:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, this is a great idea to have chairs that fucking.

• 47:13Andrew Santino?

  We love it.

• 47:15Speaker 02

  Fart as I move back and forth.

• 47:16Andrew Santino?

  You know what that teaches you?

• 47:17Speaker 02

  What does that teach me?

• 47:18Andrew Santino?

  Don't move.

• 47:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 47:19Andrew Santino?

  Don't.

• 47:20Speaker 02

  Why are you gonna put fucking?

• 47:21Bobby Lee?

  Can I say this something right now?

• 47:26Bobby Lee?

  Let me say something, you piece of shit, dude, alright? Let me say something right. If you were in that life raft, that little door in the Titanic at the end, you would not, your balancing's not good.

• 47:36Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, his balance is phenomenal.

• 47:38Bobby Lee?

  No, your balancing's not good, guy.

• 47:39Speaker 02

  Dude, you don't.

• 47:40Bobby Lee?

  You're a white guy, good sissy, right? You walk around with your head and your chest out wide, but you're a fool.

• 47:46Andrew Santino?

  Why does this have to do about race? Why did you go to race all this?

• 47:48Speaker 02

  Why did that all of a sudden have to flip into something that was 2006 Bobby Lee?

• 47:52Andrew Santino?

  This is me every day of my, I have to do this every day. And the reason we put you facing him, the guest, is because his energy.

• 47:59Bobby Lee?

  Korean energy.

• 48:00Andrew Santino?

  Korean energy.

• 48:00Speaker 02

  I wish I had a Rambo knife and I could just fucking pop this chair.

• 48:06Bobby Lee?

  I wish I had a Klingon knife, right? And you'd be a Vulcan. I slit your throat on Romulus.

• 48:11Speaker 02

  I wish my finger guns, I wish my finger guns were real guns.

• 48:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have a new movie.

• 48:19Speaker 02

  Wait, what?

• 48:20Bobby Lee?

  What? I'm sorry, bad.

• 48:22Andrew Santino?

  What a stupid idiot.

• 48:23Speaker 02

  Can we build up?

• 48:24Bobby Lee?

  Kate, I love you.

• 48:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, I love you.

• 48:25Bobby Lee?

  I really do.

• 48:26Andrew Santino?

  What an idiot though. This is what I deal with every day of my life.

• 48:29Bobby Lee?

  I, I have a resentment.

• 48:30Speaker 02

  Okay, go ahead. And you know, and I do too.

• 48:32Andrew Santino?

  Air out the, air him out.

• 48:33Speaker 02

  I have a resentment.

• 48:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 48:34Speaker 02

  Yeah. So, um, yeah, bad friends.

• 48:37Bobby Lee?

  You're here.

• 48:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, what's the resentment?

• 48:39Bobby Lee?

  I'll tell my resentment. As soon as funny money, okay?

• 48:44Speaker 02

  Yeah. Can you say the whole title, please?

• 48:46Bobby Lee?

  Is it called funny money?

• 48:47Speaker 02

  The Dane Cook Story.

• 48:47Bobby Lee?

  The Dane Cook Story, the funny money.

• 48:49Andrew Santino?

  Yes.

• 48:49Bobby Lee?

  Right. The Dane Cook Story.

• 48:51Andrew Santino?

  He pays attention to almost nothing. It's almost impossible. We talked about it. It's okay.

• 48:55Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 48:56Andrew Santino?

  It's fine. Go ahead. Finish your grievance.

• 48:58Bobby Lee?

  All right. So my grievance is this, okay?

• 49:00Speaker 02

  Tell me.

• 49:00Bobby Lee?

  I text you how I purchased, I, I text you, I bought it.

• 49:04Speaker 02

  You did. And I got very emotional about that.

• 49:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I, I said to you, and I saw it, it's great. What a fucked up situation though. And um, then you had a.

• 49:13Speaker 02

  You did laugh a little.

• 49:14Bobby Lee?

  Then you did have, yeah, I did. And then you had a premiere. Wasn't invited.

• 49:19Andrew Santino?

  Oh, the grievance.

• 49:20Speaker 02

  Okay, wait a second. Do you know what night the premiere was on? What night was it on? It was on a Friday night.

• 49:26Bobby Lee?

  I, I am your publicist?

• 49:27Speaker 02

  You're a headlining comedian. I didn't invite any comedian that I knew.

• 49:32Andrew Santino?

  He knows.

• 49:32Speaker 02

  Would say to me, I got a gig.

• 49:34Bobby Lee?

  He's not a comedian?

• 49:35Speaker 02

  Jeff Ross, first of all, Jeff, I, I met.

• 49:37Andrew Santino?

  He goes, Jeff Ross wasn't even invited. He just showed up.

• 49:40Speaker 02

  Ready? No, no, no, no. Ready? This is, this is some crazy shit. In 1994, Jeff Ross and I stood in front of the Boston Comedy Club. And in 1994, I said, Jeff, we're going places, you and I. And he goes, you really think so? I go, Jeff, I go, Jeff, let me tell you something right now. You're invited to everything I ever do and I'm going to go to everything that you ever do. And we've done that for each other ever since.

• 50:00Andrew Santino?

  And he, he held up his end of the deal the whole time?

• 50:02Speaker 02

  I didn't know he was coming.

• 50:03Andrew Santino?

  That's pretty.

• 50:03Bobby Lee?

  I want a deal like that with you.

• 50:05Andrew Santino?

  You don't have, no one makes those deals with you.

• 50:06Bobby Lee?

  I want to have a, a, a deal, a, a blood tie. I want to puncture our fists, our hands with blood.

• 50:13Andrew Santino?

  Get the Rambo knife. Get that.

• 50:15Bobby Lee?

  And I want to, I want to do a blood ritual with you.

• 50:17Speaker 02

  Why are we starting like this? Why does that feel like this?

• 50:21Andrew Santino?

  It always is.

• 50:21Bobby Lee?

  You're right. You're right. You know what? You know what? What? I, I, you know, I won't talk much then because.

• 50:26Andrew Santino?

  Shut up.

• 50:27Speaker 02

  No, now you're, no, don't fucking be passive aggressive.

• 50:30Andrew Santino?

  Gaslight, gaslight.

• 50:32Bobby Lee?

  I feel like a cornered animal.

• 50:33Speaker 02

  I just don't like that we just fucking came in like we, I, I don't even, I'm not even situated and there's a gas leak in here.

• 50:39Bobby Lee?

  Because you did a Franken attack.

• 50:42Andrew Santino?

  Al Franken?

• 50:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Al Franken, how he put.

• 50:44Andrew Santino?

  Al Frankenstein, that's what it was. Al Frankenstein attack?

• 50:47Bobby Lee?

  You did a Franken attack, man.

• 50:49Andrew Santino?

  It was a politically coordinated attack.

• 50:50Speaker 02

  Can I be very honest with you?

• 50:52Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 50:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 50:53Speaker 02

  It's because.

• 50:54Bobby Lee?

  And be real.

• 50:54Speaker 02

  I'm excited and I learned in my therapy, there's a fine line between anxiety and excitement. And I'm anxious and excited about the documentary because it's very revealing. But at the same time, I will tell you very honestly, seven years ago, I said to my girlfriend, who is now my wife, if I can do this, if I can make this fucking thing that, that crushed me into a story, I will make the most entertaining true crime documentary ever.

• 51:17Andrew Santino?

  Ever.

• 51:17Speaker 02

  I told her that seven years ago. And, and now I'm sitting here and I'm fucking holding on to this thing. And I'm a little bit anxious and excited.

• 51:24Andrew Santino?

  But it's a good, but it's a good, it's a good anxiety. It's a good anxiety.

• 51:28Speaker 02

  It is.

• 51:29Andrew Santino?

  Right?

• 51:29Speaker 02

  It is.

• 51:30Andrew Santino?

  I mean, it is a fucked up story.

• 51:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:33Andrew Santino?

  But, but made you a stronger man, undoubtedly.

• 51:39Speaker 02

  Everything that I went through from that led me to the best version of myself. If I had, if that never happened, I don't, I don't even want to know which direction the career in my life goes. So I didn't even want to, I wouldn't time machine and go, let me see. No, no, no, no. This is, this is the way it was supposed to be. Can I be very revealing with you about?

• 51:58Bobby Lee?

  I love revelations.

• 52:00Speaker 02

  Revelations?

• 52:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 52:01Speaker 02

  Can we read revelations? Does anybody have a?

• 52:03Andrew Santino?

  Get the Bible.

• 52:04Speaker 02

  King James?

• 52:04Andrew Santino?

  Get the Bible.

• 52:05Speaker 02

  Okay. No, it's because of this. And this is why I love talking to comedians about this. And I've done a million podcasts, but I sort of was like, I felt like even on the way over, I was, I was holding on to this. You guys have known me a long time. I'm in the holy shit business.

• 52:20Andrew Santino?

  Hmm.

• 52:20Speaker 02

  I've always been in my career, a person that strives to go, hmm, I'm just college act in 1995. How can I reinvent this whole fucking thing? So NACA has to come to me and go, hey, how do we? We want to block book the way you, and so I've always been a person, then it was MySpace. And then it was in the round with Marty Colner directing me and me and Chris Albrecht working at HBO. Every single time I turned a corner, even if it was into a buzzsaw, I was like, hmm. How to make this so that while everybody else is over here, I'm right here. And even though that almost destroyed me, my brother, we can get into it too. And I'll tell you, man.

• 53:01Speaker 02

  It fucked me up. But I knew, I said, this is my thing. I, I know it. I know if I can get over this folder that crushed me. This, this, this, uh, if it's a one man show or if it's a book or if it's a documentary, I know. I'm gonna put this in the fucking rarest of rare air and we're sitting here tonight. On the precipice of something that it's 22 days at number one in the United States.

• 53:27Bobby Lee?

  Crazy.

• 53:28Speaker 02

  Nothing's knocked it off. Guess how many marketing dollars I have? Zilch!

• 53:33Bobby Lee?

  Zero.

• 53:34Speaker 02

  Nothing.

• 53:34Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 53:36Speaker 02

  I'm in the top five. I did the math on it. I'm up against 3.2 billion dollars of box office. How much is that in revenue to put towards like publicity? Millions and millions and millions.

• 53:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 53:51Speaker 02

  I'm at number one, word of mouth. This is what I'm fucking good at, guys.

• 53:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 53:56Speaker 02

  This is what I do. And now that it's with Netflix, it's like, we're gonna fucking, I'm telling you, you don't even, you don't even know what I'm doing next. This is the beginning of the next.

• 54:05Bobby Lee?

  I'll give you three letters, my friend.

• 54:07Speaker 02

  Now, here he goes.

• 54:08Bobby Lee?

  May I?

• 54:09Speaker 02

  PBS.

• 54:10Bobby Lee?

  Great.

• 54:11Andrew Santino?

  He just learned these three letters.

• 54:12Bobby Lee?

  F O D.

• 54:13Speaker 02

  F.

• 54:13Bobby Lee?

  Field of Dreams.

• 54:15Andrew Santino?

  He loves that movie.

• 54:16Bobby Lee?

  I love that movie.

• 54:16Andrew Santino?

  He loves them.

• 54:17Bobby Lee?

  And what do they say in the movie?

• 54:18Andrew Santino?

  If you build it.

• 54:19Bobby Lee?

  They will come.

• 54:19Speaker 02

  And guess, and guess who I had lunch with recently?

• 54:21Bobby Lee?

  Did you build it?

• 54:22Speaker 02

  Kevin Costner, who's in the fucking film.

• 54:23Andrew Santino?

  Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, talk about the Kevin Costner lunch.

• 54:26Bobby Lee?

  You got the cost in it?

• 54:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:27Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 54:28Andrew Santino?

  Give me that.

• 54:29Bobby Lee?

  How do you know the cost?

• 54:29Andrew Santino?

  Give me the lunch.

• 54:30Speaker 02

  What's that?

• 54:31Andrew Santino?

  Give me the lunch. Where is the lunch?

• 54:33Bobby Lee?

  Where's the lunch with Costner?

• 54:34Speaker 02

  Oh, no, I didn't actually have lunch with him. We were texting, gonna get together for lunch. We're talking about Mr. Brooks.

• 54:38Bobby Lee?

  That lunch is never gonna happen.

• 54:39Speaker 02

  We did a film called.

• 54:40Andrew Santino?

  It's gonna happen.

• 54:41Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, okay, sorry, my bad.

• 54:43Speaker 02

  Not all that, not everything.

• 54:45Bobby Lee?

  No, what?

• 54:45Speaker 02

  Start here, start on me.

• 54:46Bobby Lee?

  We're not cutting.

• 54:47Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 54:47Bobby Lee?

  This is great.

• 54:48Speaker 02

  Costner and I text about Mr. Brooks. I did that film with him. I asked him a lot of Untouchable and Field of Dreams questions and Dances with Wolves.

• 54:55Bobby Lee?

  Okay, what are the questions of the Field of Dreams? Cause that's all I'm interested in.

• 54:58Speaker 02

  Um, it was more about, it was actually more about Dances with Wolves because I knew he had a lot of fucking, it was like a shit show for him to.

• 55:06Andrew Santino?

  He financed it, right? Wasn't that the whole thing?

• 55:08Speaker 02

  He, but he had a couple of backers and they didn't want him to do the Buffalo Run where he was in. And there's a great story, he's probably told it on a podcast where he brought all the guys to lunch because they were like, you're not, you're not doing that scene. And he's like, I have to do this scene. No, you're not doing it. So they came to set when they were filming that, that scene. Long story short. He took them to lunch. He leaves the lunch and he goes and he shoots the fucking scene. He gets on the horse, does the whole thing. Obviously, no insurance, blah, blah, blah. Comes back after the lunch. They're like, where'd you go? And he goes, I, I shot it. And he goes, and of course they were all like, what the fuck? We told you. And then one guy goes, how's it look?

• 55:47Andrew Santino?

  Just tell us what it looks like.

• 55:48Speaker 02

  Costner taught me a lot about, man, dude, a lot about fortitude. Part of why I'm here today is because of some of the things that Kevin Costner said. My mom was dying when I did Mr. Brooks. So I would go to set, we'd talk about my mom, we'd talk about filmmaking, we'd talk about philosophy. And then we talk about self-actualizing and resilience and fortitude. And a lot of what's in this documentary, I wrote him, I said, this is a big piece of this is because of what I learned with you.

• 56:15Bobby Lee?

  Can I tell you a core memory of you?

• 56:17Speaker 02

  I, I, can we pass on it and just actually?

• 56:19Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, let's talk, let's talk about something else.

• 56:20Speaker 02

  Maybe more standard questions about me and.

• 56:23Andrew Santino?

  Just like a standard interview questions. No, give us a core memory.

• 56:26Speaker 02

  All right, then fucking no!

• 56:31Bobby Lee?

  Okay, so my core memory, I have several core memories of you.

• 56:34Speaker 02

  Okay, okay.

• 56:35Bobby Lee?

  If I may.

• 56:36Andrew Santino?

  Please may.

• 56:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Um, I remember being at The Grove. And I said hi to you.

• 56:42Speaker 02

  Is this a long story?

• 56:43Bobby Lee?

  It's, it's, it's almost over. You know what I mean? If you give it, if you give it another 10 seconds. You know what? You talked a lot about resilience and fortitude. Fuck you, dude. Let me, wow. Welcome and congratulations on the movie.

• 56:55Speaker 02

  Thank you so very much.

• 56:56Bobby Lee?

  All right, because you did all that, right? So that's good.

• 56:58Speaker 02

  What about The Grove?

• 56:59Bobby Lee?

  I saw you, your mom and your dad and your sister, and you guys were walking with your arms around each other, walking down the, I remember that.

• 57:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:08Bobby Lee?

  And the second thing, I go, how do you make it? And you said something to me, he goes, become undeniable. You told me that. I still don't understand what it means.

• 57:18Andrew Santino?

  You're very denied, to be honest. You're remarkably denied.

• 57:21Bobby Lee?

  People deny me all the time, but still, it was a really good note. Yeah, yeah. Do you remember saying that to me?

• 57:27Speaker 02

  Well, I remember, I remember just feeling like, even in my own career, it's like, you have to be doing something completely different. And you have to make everybody believe that that's, that you know, whether it looks like it's working or not, that you know. I know. That's, that's the key.

• 57:44Andrew Santino?

  What year did Harmful Swallow come out?

• 57:45Speaker 02

  Two, uh, I was selling it, the original version of it, 1999, 2000 into 2001. And then Comedy Central Records forms and they lease it, plus three more albums.

• 57:57Andrew Santino?

  When I, the girl that I was seeing when I first, in college, when I first went to college and I was obsessed with going to the Tempe Improv, because that was like the only club in Phoenix to go to. And the, the girl that I started to see, she knew I loved comedy and I was too scared to admit that I wanted to be a comedian.

• 58:13Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 58:13Andrew Santino?

  And as a gift, she, she gave me, I was, I already, I had already had it. But it was like a, I really like, like that. And I was like, I really, really like, and she's like, do you want to listen it together? And I was like, do you like comedy? And she was like, not really, but I like that you like it. And then she started listening to it. And then she left me in an effort to try to be with you. So, thank you.

• 58:37Bobby Lee?

  Why did you do that?

• 58:38Andrew Santino?

  Why did you do that? She said, I think I'm gonna pursue Dane.

• 58:41Speaker 02

  What was her name?

• 58:42Andrew Santino?

  Her name was Jen.

• 58:43Speaker 02

  Okay, I know Jen.

• 58:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, I used to call her Tempe Jen.

• 58:49Andrew Santino?

  She, she became so infatuated with you. I was like, I thought you said you didn't like comedy. She's like, no, I, I like this. I think I like this. I was like, thanks. Okay, great. Sneaking, I used to sneak into shows over there because I couldn't really afford to go over there. But back then, it was only headliners, right? They didn't do, like, mic nights were like, kind of pretty sporadic.

• 59:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:05Andrew Santino?

  And Arizona didn't have a lot of mics anyway.

• 59:07Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 59:07Andrew Santino?

  But going there or sneaking in there to see people, to me was, I mean, I snuck in to see, I told Pablo, I was like, I snuck in to see, to see you one time. They, they put me out the back door and I was just sitting by the fucking.

• 59:17Bobby Lee?

  Saw who?

• 59:18Andrew Santino?

  Dream, Pablo Francisco.

• 59:19Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you saw Pablo?

• 59:20Andrew Santino?

  I'm saying, I'm saying to Pablo, I would sneak into shows. If I, if they, if I was cool, if they were cool enough, some of the employees, they would let me sneak in this, like the smoke door by the back and I would just hang and watch.

• 59:29Bobby Lee?

  That's.

• 59:30Andrew Santino?

  Oh, I was upset. Well, because that was, I don't know if you ever had this, but. I, I was afraid to admit I wanted to do it. I really wanted to do it. But I was kind of scared of people knowing, in the event of failure, people being like, oh, you think you're a fucking, you're gonna be a comedian? But I had that anxiety, so I didn't tell anybody. So I would go to mics and not tell a lot of my friends.

• 59:48Bobby Lee?

  See.

• 59:48Andrew Santino?

  I was scared. I was like scared to admit that it was what I loved.

• 59:51Bobby Lee?

  Those little, see that, those little moments, right? That's what it's all about, baby.

• 59:56Andrew Santino?

  I know.

• 59:57Bobby Lee?

  You know?

• 59:57Andrew Santino?

  You never had.

• 59:58Speaker 02

  You guys are chatting, can I just split for a few?

• 59:59Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, 10, if you take, take five, take five and then we'll come back.

• 1:00:02Bobby Lee?

  Real?

• 1:00:02Speaker 02

  No, I'm kidding.

• 1:00:03Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah. Okay, I have a.

• 1:00:04Andrew Santino?

  He's a comedian. Do you know Dane is a comedian?

• 1:00:06Bobby Lee?

  He's an international.

• 1:00:07Speaker 02

  Wait, Tempe Improv, can I just say, that's one of the only road gigs that if they were like, oh, you know, Thursday to Saturday, I'd be like, can we add a Wednesday and a Sunday? Like, I wanted to be in Tempe.

• 1:00:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:17Speaker 02

  Because the, uh, there was a, a clientele there that was actually very lovely.

• 1:00:21Andrew Santino?

  Stunning, beautiful people. And it was, and that club was.

• 1:00:24Bobby Lee?

  I played that club 30 times, never got laid once.

• 1:00:27Andrew Santino?

  Surprise, surprise.

• 1:00:30Bobby Lee?

  So, I don't know about the beautiful.

• 1:00:31Speaker 02

  I heard that.

• 1:00:32Andrew Santino?

  That's actually not true at all.

• 1:00:33Bobby Lee?

  100%.

• 1:00:33Speaker 02

  Bobby Lee and I had dinner recently and you and I have never had a dinner. Now what?

• 1:00:38Andrew Santino?

  We need a dinner. Well, tell me.

• 1:00:39Speaker 02

  You know, you're.

• 1:00:39Andrew Santino?

  First of all, this guy.

• 1:00:41Speaker 02

  You're a terrible fucking friend.

• 1:00:43Andrew Santino?

  First of all, this guy's bragging in the parking lot. He's lost 55 pounds. He's on, he's on a fucking meal plan for a year. His wife is, he only eats 2,000 calories a day. What dinner can I go to with you?

• 1:00:54Bobby Lee?

  What steakhouse did we go to? I remember, what, what was it?

• 1:00:56Speaker 02

  It was Steak 48.

• 1:00:57Bobby Lee?

  Steak 48.

• 1:00:58Andrew Santino?

  So good.

• 1:00:58Speaker 02

  I'm there.

• 1:00:59Bobby Lee?

  You, your wife and you.

• 1:01:01Speaker 02

  That, that's right.

• 1:01:01Bobby Lee?

  Did I have anybody?

• 1:01:02Speaker 02

  You had a, you were on a date.

• 1:01:03Bobby Lee?

  I was on a date.

• 1:01:04Speaker 02

  Yep. And it was great. We had a lot of fun. But you and I talked a couple of years ago about doing a golf thing and I've been waiting for you to text me.

• 1:01:10Andrew Santino?

  I got it. Well, do you want to golf? Some people say they want to golf.

• 1:01:13Speaker 02

  I've said that day.

• 1:01:14Andrew Santino?

  Some people say they want to golf and then I go, let's golf. And they're like, I don't really fucking.

• 1:01:18Bobby Lee?

  I got a deal, right? Are you, okay, you take him to golf.

• 1:01:20Andrew Santino?

  100% done.

• 1:01:21Bobby Lee?

  You take him to Warzone.

• 1:01:24Bobby Lee?

  I tried to get him to play Warzone.

• 1:01:25Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, but we're off Warzone now.

• 1:01:27Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean?

• 1:01:27Andrew Santino?

  What do you want now?

• 1:01:28Speaker 02

  We're, we're off Warzone.

• 1:01:29Bobby Lee?

  You're the king of it.

• 1:01:30Speaker 02

  We're prepping for Grand Theft Auto VI. It's gonna be the greatest piece of, uh, entertainment IP in the history of anything. But, and, and can I, can I, do you mind if I interject something else?

• 1:01:40Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:40Bobby Lee?

  Could you, could you put your hand down?

• 1:01:41Andrew Santino?

  No, hand up.

• 1:01:42Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:01:43Andrew Santino?

  Hand up, hand up.

• 1:01:44Bobby Lee?

  What do you, Senator Palpatine?

• 1:01:46Speaker 02

  I only reached.

• 1:01:48Bobby Lee?

  Into my face?

• 1:01:51Speaker 02

  When I start making a few shekels back because I'm decimated by this, uh, Funny Money, the Dane Cook story, everything that's taking place in there with my brother.

• 1:01:59Bobby Lee?

  Just call it Funny Money. Why the Dane Cook story?

• 1:02:01Andrew Santino?

  Cause it is his story.

• 1:02:02Bobby Lee?

  I know, but it's. Funny Money, that's good. And let's move on.

• 1:02:06Speaker 02

  I take a little scratch, okay? Cause now, and now the, now the kid's starting to get back in the fucking.

• 1:02:11Bobby Lee?

  People know what you, you look at the cover of the thing, it's your whole face.

• 1:02:14Speaker 02

  All I see is a Google flash.

• 1:02:15Bobby Lee?

  Look up the Funny Money, yeah. Do you need to put, look at, do you need to put Dane Cook Funny Money on that?

• 1:02:22Andrew Santino?

  It, he says the Dane Cook story.

• 1:02:24Speaker 02

  Story. Yeah, just, I just want people to understand it's my story.

• 1:02:27Bobby Lee?

  So in the story, can we talk, okay, go ahead.

• 1:02:29Andrew Santino?

  Let him finish, yeah.

• 1:02:30Speaker 02

  Okay, Take-Two Interactive, okay? That's the company that is, uh, over Rockstar Games, Rockstar North as well. This kid takes a little bit of the, uh, the fucking currency that's now coming in, even though, yes, I'm still, I can barely breathe. But I put a little bit into the stock of the Take-Two Entertainment.

• 1:02:48Speaker 02

  Because we think that the next Grand Theft Auto is probably gonna come out in a few years, it's gonna do very well. It's 16 years later. But those investments, my stock investments in 2011 or 12 were 10 tech stocks and a few of them were like pre-AI. So that's what kept me cool the last few years to go, I can make. My doc, I didn't have to rush into some fucking, uh,

• 1:03:11Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 1:03:11Speaker 02

  Some, you know, fucking stuff where you show up on set and you're like, oh, give me the fuck.

• 1:03:15Andrew Santino?

  Jesus, that's how did you, how do you have the, how do you have the foresight to do that?

• 1:03:19Bobby Lee?

  Insider trading.

• 1:03:21Andrew Santino?

  That's insider trading.

• 1:03:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:22Andrew Santino?

  Nancy Pelosi.

• 1:03:23Bobby Lee?

  Nancy, yeah.

• 1:03:25Andrew Santino?

  Somebody told him, somebody told him.

• 1:03:28Bobby Lee?

  Who called you, dude? Hunter Biden?

• 1:03:30Andrew Santino?

  Did Hunter call you?

• 1:03:31Bobby Lee?

  Did Hunter?

• 1:03:31Andrew Santino?

  How did you know? How can you, well, that's the same thing. That's like, that's like what Kutcher did that, right? Didn't Ashton do that where he invested in all these tech companies?

• 1:03:38Speaker 02

  He really did.

• 1:03:39Andrew Santino?

  Like Uber and stuff like early on?

• 1:03:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:41Andrew Santino?

  You and I.

• 1:03:42Bobby Lee?

  We didn't do nothing.

• 1:03:42Andrew Santino?

  We bought into Kevin Hart's vegan joint. They're all closed now. I don't know why we.

• 1:03:46Speaker 02

  That was a bad idea.

• 1:03:47Andrew Santino?

  Why did we buy into that?

• 1:03:48Speaker 02

  Yeah. That was.

• 1:03:49Andrew Santino?

  We put every dime we made into those.

• 1:03:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, that was.

• 1:03:53Andrew Santino?

  I'm not shooting at you, Kevin. We love you.

• 1:03:55Bobby Lee?

  I love you, dude. You know that, right?

• 1:03:56Speaker 02

  We've known each other a long time.

• 1:03:57Bobby Lee?

  Do you remember, I used to come to your house when you lived on Fountain?

• 1:04:00Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 1:04:00Bobby Lee?

  Do you remember that apartment?

• 1:04:01Speaker 02

  Preston Heights and Fountain.

• 1:04:02Bobby Lee?

  And I used to go up to your, and you'd play me a little tune.

• 1:04:05Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:04:05Bobby Lee?

  With a guitar.

• 1:04:06Speaker 02

  We'd play some guitar.

• 1:04:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:08Speaker 02

  I'd be in the window and I'd play as Bobby walked up.

• 1:04:10Bobby Lee?

  I had long hair, people would, like Rapunzel, they would.

• 1:04:15Speaker 02

  And then I remembered, I remember one time there was a giant fountain with koi fish. And I used to yell at Bobby, ride one of the koi fish around. Ride, because there was a big koi fish.

• 1:04:23Bobby Lee?

  I'm a little piece of shit, right? Dude, do you remember New Orleans?

• 1:04:27Andrew Santino?

  What happened in New Orleans?

• 1:04:28Speaker 02

  Vince Vaughn.

• 1:04:28Bobby Lee?

  Me, you, Vince Vaughn.

• 1:04:30Speaker 02

  Ahmed Ahmed.

• 1:04:30Bobby Lee?

  And Ahmed Ahmed did New Orleans at one time.

• 1:04:33Andrew Santino?

  What did you guys do?

• 1:04:33Bobby Lee?

  In the late 90s.

• 1:04:34Andrew Santino?

  A group show, like a group headlining show? Wild West?

• 1:04:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, uh, no.

• 1:04:38Bobby Lee?

  It was pre.

• 1:04:39Andrew Santino?

  No, Wild West was way after that.

• 1:04:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it was pre.

• 1:04:41Speaker 02

  It was, it was Vince had a show down there and he asked us all to be a part of it.

• 1:04:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:46Speaker 02

  So we've traveled down there together.

• 1:04:47Bobby Lee?

  It was incredible.

• 1:04:48Speaker 02

  It was wild.

• 1:04:48Bobby Lee?

  It was a fun weekend.

• 1:04:49Speaker 02

  A lot of, a lot of.

• 1:04:50Andrew Santino?

  Did Vince do stand-up?

• 1:04:52Bobby Lee?

  He did some.

• 1:04:52Speaker 02

  He was sort of like, um.

• 1:04:54Bobby Lee?

  You know how he talks fast?

• 1:04:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, he did that thing.

• 1:04:56Andrew Santino?

  Hey, come on, baby.

• 1:04:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:57Speaker 02

  He liked to host.

• 1:04:59Andrew Santino?

  He was a host.

• 1:04:59Speaker 02

  He kind of liked to host it and he liked to banter in between and kind of do that Dean Martin type thing and.

• 1:05:03Andrew Santino?

  Great.

• 1:05:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:04Speaker 02

  One of the greatest moments of my life, I'll tell it really quick. He used to be in the back of Dublin in the, in the hallway where people would smoke, you know, that back stairwell?

• 1:05:12Andrew Santino?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:05:12Speaker 02

  He would hype man me as, uh, Trent from Swingers.

• 1:05:17Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 1:05:17Speaker 02

  He would hype man me.

• 1:05:18Bobby Lee?

  Wow, wow.

• 1:05:19Speaker 02

  He would grab me by the shoulders and go, you're peanut butter and jelly, baby. Okay. And you're the chips as well. And it's on a Dixie plate, a little Dixie cup, baby. And every time you take it, you get sipping that Crystal Light, baby. And he'd be rubbing my shoulders and then they'd go, Jay Davis would go, Dane Cook! And he'd smack me on the ass and go, your money, baby. Go get him, baby. Your money. Get him right now, Dane Cook.

• 1:05:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:37Speaker 02

  And I'd hear him yelling at me, and I'd pass Big Craig, who'd be fucking, you know, remember Big Craig, rest in peace? I love Vince.

• 1:05:43Andrew Santino?

  By the way, Dublin's, Dublin's would be called the Dane Cook, uh, club story. If you did a Dublin's documentary, people that don't know, Dublin's is a phenomenal spot that Jay Davis famously ran and Dane.

• 1:05:54Bobby Lee?

  And Ahmed, Ahmed do it too.

• 1:05:55Speaker 02

  It was both of them.

• 1:05:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, both of those guys.

• 1:05:56Andrew Santino?

  Oh, I thought it was just Jay. Sorry. I don't mean to step on the toes.

• 1:05:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:59Andrew Santino?

  Jay, though, Jay's kind of the face of the, he was always the face of everything.

• 1:06:03Speaker 02

  He was like the Barker, who also was, you know, running the show, stuff in that back booth, standing under that one light that they put, I mean, it was, that Tuesday night free show at Dublin's was, I think for me, one of the things that helped me just take a hard left turn and go, okay, wait a second. This isn't working for me. This club isn't using me. The factory's sort of like, and then Dublin's sent me in, into a different realm.

• 1:06:27Bobby Lee?

  I, I, I remember those days because I used to do those shows and I remember it.

• 1:06:31Andrew Santino?

  Different response though, huh?

• 1:06:34Speaker 02

  What was it like going on first?

• 1:06:41Bobby Lee?

  Oh, shit. Oh, shit, that burned. Oh, man. Being undeniable, huh? Never worked.

• 1:06:49Andrew Santino?

  Fortitude, fortitude, fortitude, fortitude.

• 1:06:51Bobby Lee?

  Fortitude, fortitude, fortitude, fortitude. Yeah, it was, if people don't know, people have to, let's set up, it was a Tuesday night and it was Cameron Diaz, all these people would come.

• 1:07:01Speaker 02

  Britney Spears would come in all the time.

• 1:07:02Andrew Santino?

  Hollywood superstar.

• 1:07:04Bobby Lee?

  Superstars would come and it was like.

• 1:07:05Speaker 02

  Jay-Z, bubbling at Dublin's, that was from.

• 1:07:08Andrew Santino?

  Unreal.

• 1:07:08Bobby Lee?

  It was unreal that night. Yeah.

• 1:07:10Andrew Santino?

  I don't know how that even, that became such a cultural moment in comedy history. I don't think LA's had something like that since. And who knows if they ever will, because the clubs now kind of run Hollywood.

• 1:07:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:21Andrew Santino?

  So it's hard to compete, but that was kind of the lore of that. People from out of town knew about it.

• 1:07:26Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:07:26Andrew Santino?

  You know, like out of town comics would come in and be like, can I, I want to go pop by that Dublin's place and just check it out?

• 1:07:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:31Andrew Santino?

  People just wanted to see it happen.

• 1:07:33Speaker 02

  Dublin's, I walked in one night on a Tuesday and then I went, there was like this little balcony and I'm overlooking Sunset and I'm trying to figure myself out. I'm like, what am I doing? How am I gonna like capitalize? I'm in Hollywood. They don't give a shit. What am I doing here? And I looked at the Sunset Strip and I went, wait, this isn't a comedy town. This is a music town.

• 1:07:51Andrew Santino?

  Hmm.

• 1:07:51Speaker 02

  This is a rock and roll avenue. I'm going to be rock and roll.

• 1:07:55Andrew Santino?

  Hmm.

• 1:07:55Speaker 02

  And I said that into, I go, I'm done trying to be a comic with a set. I'm going to play into something that's a little bit more what, what, what was rough and tumbley about this fucking Sunset Boulevard with the bands that I grew up loving. And then I started hanging out with the bands. I started hanging out with Sebastian Bach.

• 1:08:13Bobby Lee?

  Is that Baroque music?

• 1:08:14Speaker 02

  I would listen to.

• 1:08:15Bobby Lee?

  Is it Baroque music?

• 1:08:16Speaker 02

  Skid Row?

• 1:08:17Bobby Lee?

  No, Bach.

• 1:08:17Andrew Santino?

  The other Bach.

• 1:08:19Speaker 02

  Oh, no, it's Sebastian Bach.

• 1:08:21Andrew Santino?

  Dane, he's doing a bad joke right now.

• 1:08:22Bobby Lee?

  I'm doing a really bad joke.

• 1:08:23Andrew Santino?

  Let him land this bad joke.

• 1:08:24Bobby Lee?

  It, it, it, as soon as it came out of my mouth.

• 1:08:26Speaker 02

  You can cut this.

• 1:08:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we're gonna cut it. It fell short. Go ahead, continue.

• 1:08:29Speaker 02

  Cut it. Let me just get back into.

• 1:08:30Bobby Lee?

  Get back into it again.

• 1:08:31Speaker 02

  I was on a little bit of a rhythm. Ta, ta, tee tee ta, that didn't happen. Okay, so Sebastian Bach gets on my flight. I see him get on the flight. I'm still back in ass out. Okay, I'm on a folding chair in fucking section Z and I see Sebastian Bach and he's a big dude, you know, he's like seven, four. I, I, early Twitter, I tweet, low-key hoping this plane goes down just so I can hear Sebastian Bach scream.

• 1:08:57Bobby Lee?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:08:59Speaker 02

  He must be on Twitter. All of a sudden the curtain opens and he, he points to the back of the plane. He goes, you dude, you.

• 1:09:07Andrew Santino?

  No way.

• 1:09:08Speaker 02

  Fucking comes toward me and I'm sitting and he grabs me by the shoulders and he just starts fucking like funny yelling in my face.

• 1:09:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:16Speaker 02

  He'd seen the tweet.

• 1:09:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:18Speaker 02

  We exchanged numbers and then I started hanging out with him, Jerry Cantrell, I play poker with Jerry, shout out to Jerry, same birthday, March 18th. All these guys, man, slash fucking Tommy Lee starts coming, coming to the Laugh Factory, Tommy Lee and, and Tommy Lee would run around doing the Sufi. When I used to go to his shows and I'd throw up the Motley Crue. So getting to know all those guys was like, all right, this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to have that energy.

• 1:09:42Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:43Speaker 02

  And not showcasey fucking stand-up energy.

• 1:09:45Andrew Santino?

  I'm just going to be a rock star, not a comedian. Yeah. But I mean, you did rev, I mean, everyone does say that. You're, you, you, you turned it into something bigger than a stand-up show. It was like a performance art. It was like a, it was a theater. It's a theater.

• 1:09:56Speaker 02

  It felt it.

• 1:09:57Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:58Speaker 02

  It felt like it was like, yeah, I'm going.

• 1:09:59Bobby Lee?

  You were physical, you, and, and your setups are so fucking, it's like some of the whimsical things you say. Sometimes you'll condense words into your own Dane Cook-ism, you know?

• 1:10:08Andrew Santino?

  The Cook, the Cook-isms.

• 1:10:09Bobby Lee?

  The Cook-ism.

• 1:10:10Andrew Santino?

  That's your next, that's a book, by the way, The Cook-ism.

• 1:10:12Bobby Lee?

  But you talk about Juan Sebastian Bach and all these people, right? But can you beat Taylor Swift? I don't think so.

• 1:10:17Andrew Santino?

  All right, dude, this is, he does this at least every fucking episode.

• 1:10:21Bobby Lee?

  He's out with Taylor, Taylor Swift, so I don't think so.

• 1:10:23Andrew Santino?

  He thinks this is funny every episode.

• 1:10:24Bobby Lee?

  It is funny to me. And, and sometimes, you know, you don't do it for the laugh.

• 1:10:30Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 1:10:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, sometimes you do it for the laugh.

• 1:10:31Speaker 02

  One of my most embarrassing moments in my entire career, and I'm going to bring it back to me because I'm the guest.

• 1:10:36Andrew Santino?

  Please, thank you.

• 1:10:37Speaker 02

  I, I did The Tonight Show with Taylor Swift and I wrote a song for her and I performed it. She was nice enough to come back out and sit on the couch and I took my shirt off. This is online. I have a Taylor Swift tattoo.

• 1:10:50Andrew Santino?

  Show this.

• 1:10:50Speaker 02

  Of her face on my chest.

• 1:10:52Bobby Lee?

  I gotta see it.

• 1:10:52Speaker 02

  And I sing a song about her to her.

• 1:10:55Andrew Santino?

  No way.

• 1:10:56Speaker 02

  And all I'm going to tell you is if I could erase one moment from my career, it would probably be this, because even though she was really sweet about it, like backstage after, even though we took a picture, she was like, thanks, dude. It was like.

• 1:11:09Andrew Santino?

  What, she hated it?

• 1:11:10Speaker 02

  I just felt like it was a swing and a miss.

• 1:11:12Bobby Lee?

  Is that you doing right?

• 1:11:14Andrew Santino?

  No, that's him on the left.

• 1:11:17Andrew Santino?

  Fucking moron. That's a moron in, in, come on. Yeah, no, but what? So you felt, you felt that hit though. That was like a.

• 1:11:24Speaker 02

  It was like the beginning of me going, I don't need to do this every time where I come out and try to razzle-dazzle the show into something else, which was sort of becoming what they were expecting of me. Instead, I was like, I gotta bring it back to like, I can be funny, just fucking hanging like this. And that night I was like, I, I think, I think I jumped the shark.

• 1:11:46Andrew Santino?

  But you got to swing, you swung. So I think swinging is better than not. It's because the swing is worth the, worth the chop. Cause if you hit the home run, it's incredible. It, striking out isn't bad. I don't think it's bad.

• 1:11:57Speaker 02

  Striking out with your shirt off and a Taylor Swift tattoo on your hairy chest is, feels bad.

• 1:12:04Andrew Santino?

  But it's a better story.

• 1:12:05Speaker 02

  She was like, hey, can I come to game night and hang out? I heard, cause her brother Austin, I know he,

• 1:12:09Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:09Speaker 02

  He came, he, you know, he's a cool dude, but she never showed up. And I'm like, it's because of that fucking song that I.

• 1:12:13Andrew Santino?

  No, there's no way she cares. There's no way that's a thing.

• 1:12:16Bobby Lee?

  She just doesn't like you.

• 1:12:19Andrew Santino?

  Such a dickhead dude.

• 1:12:20Bobby Lee?

  Uh, Dane, everyone loves you, man.

• 1:12:22Speaker 02

  That is not true. That is.

• 1:12:24Bobby Lee?

  I have enemies as well.

• 1:12:25Speaker 02

  That is, let's talk about that.

• 1:12:26Bobby Lee?

  No, that, can we, yeah. Can we talk about your movie?

• 1:12:29Speaker 02

  Let's talk about it.

• 1:12:29Bobby Lee?

  All right. I want to talk about it. So because some people don't know.

• 1:12:32Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, people do. Yeah.

• 1:12:33Bobby Lee?

  So essentially the documentary, It's Your Alive, it's called The Dane Cook Story.

• 1:12:37Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 1:12:37Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 1:12:37Speaker 02

  It's available.

• 1:12:38Bobby Lee?

  It's on the cover of the thing.

• 1:12:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:12:41Bobby Lee?

  It's this funny money Dane Cook story.

• 1:12:43Andrew Santino?

  He's reiterating this.

• 1:12:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, um, your brother is, is the documentary essentially about that?

• 1:12:49Speaker 02

  Why you gotta bring this up?

• 1:12:50Bobby Lee?

  No. Yeah. Is that, is that what the essential, the documentary is about?

• 1:12:54Speaker 02

  The documentary is, it's not, it's not a documentary about the entirety of my career. I felt like I was a young man, still not the right time to tell a whole story. But this is like the Empire Strikes Back moment of my life and career. I have, I have hit big. I'm now sort of coming down the other side of fame. It's starting to settle into whatever the new normal is. And I think I'm set for life because I fucking put everything in the vault. And my brother's the only person with the key and the power of attorney. But I didn't know that my brother and his wife were very bad people. I had no clue. And this is what takes place in the, in.

• 1:13:33Andrew Santino?

  On the, on the heels of, of also other sad family tough issues in your life. I mean, it's like, you know, it, it, yeah.

• 1:13:41Speaker 02

  Both my parents died.

• 1:13:42Andrew Santino?

  It's just, it's, it, on the heels of that kind of stuff, that the weight of that, of who do you trust again? Do you trust again? How do you get back there? It's, it's a powerful thing.

• 1:13:52Speaker 02

  Mind if I just, I never didn't trust. I never had a problem with trust. I never, people think like, oh, you must've had crippling anxiety about trust. The moment Daryl was out of my life, what?

• 1:14:03Bobby Lee?

  That's his name?

• 1:14:03Speaker 02

  What, Daryl. Yeah. Whatever the thing that he shrouded me in, he dissipated a lot of relationships that I think he saw were strong people. Because he didn't want strong people to help me to see things clearly. So the moment he was out, my golden gut and the things that got me to where I was in the first place was almost better.

• 1:14:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:25Speaker 02

  I, I didn't lose trust. I didn't, I didn't look at people like, are you trying to? No, if anything, I started really building deeper, more meaningful connections with people. So I didn't have to go through that. Even though in my therapy, I went through a lot of other problems, but never with trust.

• 1:14:41Bobby Lee?

  Trauma?

• 1:14:42Speaker 02

  Trauma more from the grief of losing my parents and not listening to them. Cause they had a lot of information and intel about my brother that I opted to go with what I thought he was, rather than listen to some of the things.

• 1:14:57Andrew Santino?

  What was their intel? Can you, you want to share?

• 1:14:59Speaker 02

  My mom specifically, like my mom, quite literally in the last moments of her life was like grabbing my hand and saying, you gotta look out for your brother. It's in the doc. I, I talk about that moment. She's like, you, you, he's not a good guy. You gotta be careful of your brother. And I'm thinking it's cause she's sick. I'm thinking it's because of the medicine that she's on. But it was the last, my mom gave me a lot, like she, her nickname was my compass. My mom was my compass. She told me a lot about the direction of my life. And when I said, I wonder if I can, she's like, you don't wonder. You're going to be one of the best comics of your generation. You're going to do it. And I went, you think I can? She goes, no. Cause you won't take it halfway. You won't. You'll take it all the way.

• 1:15:38Speaker 02

  With this, the last thing that she said about Daryl and you gotta look at him closer, you gotta, it was like the beginning of me starting to look at him and moving some things around to see what happens when I start requesting different movies. So it was like a blessing from my mom, even though she was, you know, on her way out.

• 1:15:58Andrew Santino?

  Wow. What was the total number again?

• 1:16:00Speaker 02

  The what?

• 1:16:00Andrew Santino?

  The total number.

• 1:16:02Speaker 02

  The, the total number?

• 1:16:03Bobby Lee?

  Can I guess?

• 1:16:04Speaker 02

  Go ahead.

• 1:16:05Bobby Lee?

  Seventeen.

• 1:16:07Speaker 02

  I think it's north of that. In the doc, it's 12.5 because I did what's known as a forensics audit. A forensic audit, you look back at your entire, um, history of everything, everything financial. They quite literally lay your whole life financially, every penny on a table. And over three days, I had to look at everything over 12 years. You can only go back 12 years on a forensic audit. If I could have paid to go back 15 to go, what's the first thing he stole when I would have? So it's 12.5 based on 12 years, but it's actually closer to, I think, north of 20. If you really want to know the truth. And I, and, and by the way, this story's not over.

• 1:16:53Speaker 02

  This story is only the beginning.

• 1:16:55Bobby Lee?

  Cause your brother's out of prison.

• 1:16:56Speaker 02

  He's out of prison.

• 1:16:57Andrew Santino?

  He's here. Daryl.

• 1:17:00Speaker 02

  We weren't talking about something.

• 1:17:01Bobby Lee?

  We're, we're like Howie Mandel. We do this.

• 1:17:03Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Just to fuck with you.

• 1:17:05Bobby Lee?

  Just to confront.

• 1:17:06Andrew Santino?

  Don't go on Howie's show. He'll fucking go get your brother.

• 1:17:08Bobby Lee?

  Daryl. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:17:10Andrew Santino?

  Insane.

• 1:17:11Bobby Lee?

  When's the last time we talked to Daryl?

• 1:17:12Speaker 02

  That was, that, it was the answering machine message that you hear in the documentary that opens the doc. Was the last, it's funny, that day was day three of him being, you know, gone. Me being locked out of my, not only being locked out of the bank accounts, but starting to realize, okay, I don't think there's anything really in there. And then I went to the, my neighbor, Richard was like, you gotta get out of this apartment, the LaFontaine apartment. We went up to the gym.

• 1:17:40Bobby Lee?

  Why'd you have to leave the apartment?

• 1:17:42Speaker 02

  Because he was like, dude, you're a basket case. You're like, I, I, I was so, I was brokenhearted, man. I was betrayed.

• 1:17:48Bobby Lee?

  It would, it would have ruined my life.

• 1:17:49Speaker 02

  I was fucking.

• 1:17:50Bobby Lee?

  I, I would never be able to recover what you went through.

• 1:17:52Speaker 02

  Okay. I've said this on a few podcasts, but I gotta, I'll say it again. Uh, until that day, the first day, I never knew the definition of the word frantic, but I know what frantic is now. I had a fucking collapse. I had a, I'd always had, um, anxiety attacks, but I'd only had two that were like, where you're sort of cat, catatonic, like a fucking like DEFCON one. This was, uh, you ever get so nervous that your eyes shaking your head for a second and you kind of feel cold?

• 1:18:24Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:18:25Speaker 02

  Okay. That shuddering, like you're on a fucking plane that won't stop being turbulent. My, I, I thought I was losing my fucking mind, you guys. I was so scared. I was so humiliated. I didn't know what my future was going to be. And my career is already fucking settling. So I'm like, I didn't even know, do I have a swing at the bat? Am I going to be able to, I don't know. I'm going to do this, the next thing that I'm going to do. But I go to the gym with Richard. He goes, let's just go, we'll get a workout in. When I come back, it's that fucking answering machine message. And he, he left that and I didn't hear from him. I tried to call him. I tried to email him. He didn't call me back. And then a year later I saw him when I read the impact letter in court is the first time I saw him. Yeah.

• 1:19:10Bobby Lee?

  And you, and you haven't, and you will never talk to him again.

• 1:19:13Speaker 02

  I can't say that. And also this, this is, this is not over. This is the beginning of something I've been putting together for a while. And this, this is the start. And then we'll maybe in a little bit, I'll tell you guys what's happening next, but a lot has happened since this.

• 1:19:32Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 1:19:33Bobby Lee?

  Gosh.

• 1:19:33Speaker 02

  I'll leave it there.

• 1:19:34Bobby Lee?

  I'm excited about it.

• 1:19:35Speaker 02

  I mean, maybe there's like quite literally funny money too, based on some of the things that are even more unusual than this. So I hope people watch this and then stick close because.

• 1:19:46Andrew Santino?

  It's like stranger than fiction where you're like, you can't even.

• 1:19:49Bobby Lee?

  You can't.

• 1:19:49Andrew Santino?

  Sometimes you can't believe.

• 1:19:50Bobby Lee?

  It's the biggest betrayal I've ever heard, I think.

• 1:19:53Andrew Santino?

  I mean.

• 1:19:53Bobby Lee?

  In terms of like someone I know, it's the biggest betrayal.

• 1:19:57Speaker 02

  Bernie Madoff. And let me just tell you, you know, Bernie said to me one time.

• 1:20:01Andrew Santino?

  Burn dog.

• 1:20:02Speaker 02

  We used to walk around the Grove with our arms around all of ourselves in a fucking group.

• 1:20:05Andrew Santino?

  And it wasn't his mom at all. That was Bernie. Well, that's.

• 1:20:07Bobby Lee?

  You, you, wait, wait. Do you don't think that that happened?

• 1:20:10Speaker 02

  I, I don't know if I, we all walked together.

• 1:20:14Speaker 02

  You said I had my arms around my whole family.

• 1:20:16Bobby Lee?

  No, you was, it was like this.

• 1:20:17Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:20:17Bobby Lee?

  Okay. Your dad was here.

• 1:20:19Andrew Santino?

  It was a Mentos commercial. I think you were shooting.

• 1:20:24Speaker 02

  Were we dancing?

• 1:20:26Andrew Santino?

  Well, there is music at the Grove.

• 1:20:28Bobby Lee?

  It's like a Benetton ad. Like it was like beautiful to see.

• 1:20:30Speaker 02

  I sat in the theater on the premiere night. I held my wife's hand, 500 people. Five minutes in, I lean over to Kelsey, I go, this works. This is, I always said, this could be the funniest true crime.

• 1:20:42Bobby Lee?

  500 people came.

• 1:20:43Speaker 02

  500 people.

• 1:20:44Andrew Santino?

  Not us.

• 1:20:44Bobby Lee?

  Not us.

• 1:20:45Andrew Santino?

  Not invited.

• 1:20:45Speaker 02

  Jeff Ross.

• 1:20:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:20:48Andrew Santino?

  Well, he makes up for like 350. Yeah. Yeah. That's another 150 real people.

• 1:20:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. But it was. Can we go to funny money too? Can we make a deal here?

• 1:20:55Andrew Santino?

  Can we be invited?

• 1:20:56Bobby Lee?

  Can we?

• 1:20:56Andrew Santino?

  If they're into funny money too.

• 1:20:58Bobby Lee?

  Right. Can we get invited?

• 1:20:59Andrew Santino?

  Are we allowed to be invited?

• 1:21:00Speaker 02

  Am I on season two of the Bad Fred game?

• 1:21:03Bobby Lee?

  You were supposed to be first line bastard.

• 1:21:05Andrew Santino?

  That's fine.

• 1:21:05Bobby Lee?

  Also, wow. Yeah. The heat's on, guy. Put on the suit.

• 1:21:11Speaker 02

  But I sat in the theater and when she was on the screen, it, it was the, one of the most surreal moments because I don't want to give too much away. There's a moment in the documentary where she's chastising me. And I'm sitting in the audience and I'm eating popcorn, no, remembering everything that she put me through. And of course what she stole and how I put her in fucking prison. And I looked over at Kelsey and I said, all the money she stole. Everything. This is priceless.

• 1:21:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. So Dane.

• 1:21:42Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:21:42Bobby Lee?

  I have to say, um.

• 1:21:45Speaker 02

  I just saw it says, but Dane friends. That's really cool. Thank you guys.

• 1:21:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. But the truth though be, is this, I'll wrap it up by saying this, if I may, cause this is my platform, our platform.

• 1:21:55Andrew Santino?

  No, it's yours. Just a sidekick.

• 1:21:58Bobby Lee?

  Okay. So, um,

• 1:22:01Bobby Lee?

  I've always thought you were a magnificent talent. Back in the Dublin days, I just looked up to you, man. And we got to do that New Orleans trip and other things. And, um, you know, um, I think we've gotten closer as we've gotten older, you know? We were young, rabble rabbles.

• 1:22:22Bobby Lee?

  Back then.

• 1:22:22Speaker 02

  I knew what he said.

• 1:22:23Bobby Lee?

  You did?

• 1:22:24Speaker 02

  Rabble rabbles.

• 1:22:24Bobby Lee?

  Rabble rabbles. And, well, you know, there's a, that word for Asians is very difficult.

• 1:22:28Andrew Santino?

  It is hard.

• 1:22:29Bobby Lee?

  There's Rs.

• 1:22:29Andrew Santino?

  A lot of Rs.

• 1:22:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, rabble rabble. Um, but you, I've always, and you've given me great advice and, you know, and you're also just very playful. You're a playful person and, um, you're welcome back anytime here.

• 1:22:46Bobby Lee?

  I thought it was great.

• 1:22:48Bobby Lee?

  You're, you could compare, you know, I made fun of you a little bit. That felt good, but give Dane a run of, what a fucking. And Dane, you gotta look in the, you don't get to do a closing.

• 1:22:58Andrew Santino?

  I don't get to. I know. Go ahead.

• 1:22:59Bobby Lee?

  So Dane, look in that camera right now and say, thank you for being a bad friend.

• 1:23:02Speaker 02

  Hey, thank you. It was good being on Bad Friends.

• 1:23:07Speaker 02

  Do my way.

• 1:23:39Speaker 02

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