Be the One Voice That Changes Someone’s Life

Have you ever thought about how one word from you could shift someone’s entire day, maybe even their life? In this episode, I break down what it truly means to become an encourager and why the world desperately needs you to step into that role. This isn’t about throwing out empty praise or casual compliments. It’s about choosing to infuse courage into others with honesty, specificity, and presence, and in the process, watch your own confidence and self-esteem rise. I share why encouragement is “oxygen for the soul,” how it creates ripple effects far beyond what you see, and how it becomes a seedbed for your relationships, your leadership, and your purpose. We talk about how encouragement isn’t tied to someone’s results but to their effort and character, and why you need to be the person who notices and speaks into the small moments others overlook. It’s not just about making people feel good; it’s about transferring belief and equipping people to believe they can take the next step in their climb, even when they can’t see the top of the ladder themselves. If you want to stand out in a world full of critics, this episode will call you up to be different. This is your moment to decide to become the kind of person who changes lives, one conversation at a time. Key Takeaways: Why encouragement is about “infusing courage” and not just complimenting others How encouragement builds your own self-esteem while lifting others The difference between flattery and authentic encouragement How to encourage effort and character, not just results The ripple effect of becoming an encourager in your family, friendships, and business Practical examples of encouragement that build others’ belief in themselves When you finish this episode, choose one person to encourage today. Watch how it changes them—and how it changes you. Max out. 👉 SUBSCRIBE TO ED'S YOUTUBE CHANNEL NOW 👈 → → → CONNECT WITH ED MYLETT ON SOCIAL MEDIA: ← ← ← ➡️ INSTAGRAM ➡️FACEBOOK ➡️ LINKEDIN ➡️ X ➡️ WEBSITE Get my exclusive Monday Motivation training in GrowthDay, the world’s #1 app for advanced mindset and personal development. Visit https://growthday.com/ed. This show is sponsored by GrowthDay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

  So hey guys, listen, we're all trying to get more productive and the question is, how do you find a way to get an edge? I'm a big believer that if you're getting mentoring or you're in an environment that causes growth, a growth-based environment, that you're much more likely to grow and you're going to grow faster. And that's why I love Growth Day. Growth Day is an app that my friend Brendan Burchard has created that I'm a big fan of. Write this down, growthday.com/ed. So if you want to be more productive, by the way, he's asked me, I post videos in there every single Monday that gets your day off to the right start. He's got about $5,000, $10,000 worth of courses that are in there that come with the app. Also, some of the top influencers in the world are all posting content and they're on a regular basis, like having the Avengers of personal development and business in one app. And I'm honored that he asked me to be a part of it as well and contribute on a weekly basis, and I do.

• 0:45Ed Mylett?

  So go over there and get signed up. You're going to get a free, tuition-free voucher to go to an event with Brendan and myself and a bunch of other influencers as well. So you get a free event out of it also. So go to growthday.com/ed. That's growthday.com/ed. I hear so many small business owners say the exact same thing. They just never have enough time in the day. Well, I measure time differently. I've compressed, condensed, heck, I've bent time. My first day is 6:00 a.m. to noon. My second day starts at noon and goes till 6:00 p.m. And my third day, 6:00 p.m. to midnight. I now get 21 days a week. Stack that up over a month, over a year, over five years, and my life's completely different than it would have been otherwise.

• 1:27Ed Mylett?

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• 2:08Speaker 01

  This is the End Myron Show.

• 2:13Ed Mylett?

  All right, welcome back to the show, everybody. Very excited about this week's topic. I think you're gonna love it. I think you're gonna want to share today's episode. I want to talk to you today about becoming an encourager. And, you know, this is not something really ever discussed in leadership or personal development and self-help. And quite frankly, I don't have a lot of talents or skills. But many, many years ago, I decided I made an intentional decision to become an encourager of people. You do that, you're one in a million in the world because most people aren't encouraging. Or if they are, they're not conscious about it in any way, shape, or form. So I want you to really lean in this week because I'm gonna throw so much at you. You know how we do the podcast here. This is

• 2:56Ed Mylett?

  this is like a course every single week. And so I want you to think about this. Do you want to be unique? And do you want to stand out in the world and really make a difference in your private or business life? If you do, if you could start to just become intentional about being an encouraging person. And by the way, to me, what encouraging means is to infuse courage into another person. When we discourage, we remove courage from somebody. Most people live in the middle. They're neither. They're not overly discouraging. But they're not over the top in their encouragement of people. And the main reason most people aren't encouraging of others is they don't believe they have enough value to encourage somebody.

• 3:39Ed Mylett?

  They think, well, why would anybody care what I think? And you would be blown away how much there are human beings right now. There's somebody right now in your life or that you will run into in the next 24 hours who just a little bit of encouragement from you could completely change the trajectory of their day and potentially their life. And you may be the only person that comes into their life for years, who even breathes one word of encouragement into them. And I'm going to talk about all the things that change in you when you become somebody who looks to encourage. So, the first thing is, you've got to become intentional. I'm going to begin to encourage people. I'm going to give you the distinctions between flattery and encouragement, and compliments and encouragement. Those are different things.

• 4:22Ed Mylett?

  But if you wanted to know if I have a private superpower in my life, it's my ability to connect with people. If you've watched my interviews, you'll notice I encourage them as we're progressing through the podcast. It's not even a strategy anymore. It's just a part of who I am. It's who I want to be, that when I get to heaven someday, I want there to be thousands, if not millions, of people that I've encouraged. I hope this podcast does. If you count the podcast, then we've got, you know, maybe 100 million people who I've had the blessing of encouraging. So, let's just think about this. Number one, there is enough discouraging people in the world, and enough discouragement, which by the way, is to remove courage from somebody, that we don't need any more of those. When you encourage, you literally are infusing courage into somebody,

• 5:05Ed Mylett?

  and believe it or not, yourself. Let me say that to you again. When you encourage others, you have elevated yourself. You've elevated your own vibrational frequency. You are acting more Christ-like when you encourage, and you are elevating your own self-esteem. You want to have a hack to increasing your own self-esteem, your own self-confidence? Simply encourage other people. See how you feel. Not just the first time, or the third time, but the 33rd time. When you begin to be a human who operates in the world as someone who looks for places and situations to encourage others, watch what happens to the way the world begins to respond to you, and how you feel about yourself.

• 5:46Ed Mylett?

  George Adams said, "Encouragement is oxygen to the soul." Your soul, as the encourager, gets that oxygen, as does the recipient. So, number two, what's the difference between encouragement versus flattery? True encouragement, listen, is specific, it's honest.

• 6:07Ed Mylett?

  And it's focused typically on effort or character, not just results or appearance. See, most people, they think, well, I'm encouraging, hey, you're awesome, you're amazing. That's not specific, that's a compliment, that's flattery, that doesn't hit with most people. Okay? If you only exercise a positive message to somebody, when they perform, that's flattery. That is not encouragement. Encouragement is not focused on the consequence or the result, ever. It's focused on the effort or the character of the person. And let me say something to you. When you encourage somebody about something specific about them, that they intuitively know to be true,

• 6:52Ed Mylett?

  you have made a connection with them that maybe less than five people in their life has. What I mean by specific is, things like, hey, brother, I just want to tell you, I admire you so much for how deeply you love your family and how willing you are to sacrifice for them. Specifically, this situation I saw you in. Now, that person, if they say intuitively, I do love my family, I will sacrifice for them. It multiplies it by a factor over 100 in my mind. When you tell somebody something they hope to be true, have a hallucination that's true about themselves, maybe a glimpse into, and then you say, yep, it's true. You've connected with them. As a leader, you have connected with them in a way that no leader probably ever has.

• 7:32Ed Mylett?

  As a parent, as a friend, as a stranger, when you say, I see this in you, and they go, you know, I kind of have always seen this in myself as well, but no one's pointed it out. Now you're connecting with them in a very unique and authentic way that almost nobody ever has in their life. I really want to challenge you to be specific with your encouragement, which means you need to take the time to truly be present with someone and read them and perceive them. Number three is, you have to have the courage to encourage. Actually, my opinion about it is that if you're a believer, that you're actually seeing Christ in them. That most people intuitively kind of have a hunch that they've got two or three things about them that are special. But the world never notices it. Nobody ever acknowledges it. I mean,

• 8:16Ed Mylett?

  if you're a singer, if you're Beyonce, clearly your gift is very noticeable. If you can dunk like LeBron James, right? Or hit a baseball like Aaron Judge. Those skills are very easy to see, or someone's got incredible intellect and they get straight A's all the time. But for the vast majority of us, our talents, our giftedness, our Christ in us, isn't noticed by most people. And it's never pointed out to us. And we never feel great about ourselves. And the other thing that happens is because we operate in the world this way, and we don't encourage other people, we don't feel great about ourselves. And so what really, number three is this, you have, what you really requires is courage. You have to have the courage to encourage. You have to have the courage to do it because it's a little bit awkward at first.

• 9:01Ed Mylett?

  It's a little bit, and it's not appearance, right? It's not that, oh, you look beautiful today. That's not, that's not encouragement. That's flattery. So the most meaningful courageous act you'll ever engage in is to encourage others. Words of affirmation and confirmation given to people has the potential to change the world. One encouragement at a time. When encouraging, be deliberate and be intentional. Be descriptive and be specific. Declarative. This is almost like speaking prophecy to somebody. Display. When possible, say it in front of their partner, their peers, parents, or children. My friend Phil Muncy was messaging me about this and he's 100% right. And then if you can take your encouragement to a completely different place, watch this.

• 9:46Ed Mylett?

  Talk great about people behind their back. Let it get back to them. You want to multiply encouragement? The best thing you've ever heard, isn't it? You should have heard so and so talking about you. Man, Joe loves you. Here's what he told me about you. So not only being encouraging to someone's face, you want to multiply it? Be encouraging about people behind their back. There's enough of this gossip, right, in the world. This is like reverse gossip. The impact is amazingly powerful and they will find out eventually. What if you just became that person? You're encouraging about people when you're in their presence, right? You look, you're specific, you're declarative, you're descriptive. And at the same time, when they're not around, when you're with other people, you're the one person who's constantly encouraging people who aren't even present.

• 10:30Ed Mylett?

  You just become a very unique and special human being like this. If there's any part of you right now thinks, "There's nothing special about me." I just gave you the thing that now immediately makes you special. One in several million humans is encouraging to people and especially encouraging behind their back when no one's around, when they're not around. And it does get back to them and it does multiply it. You want the double whammy? Tell me to my face, something encouraging. Tell a bunch of other people the same thing about me when I'm not there and let it get back to me. The bottom line, the giving of encouragement has a reward. Remember this, flattery expects encouragement respects.

• 11:12Ed Mylett?

  Proverbs 1821 talks about the power of words. Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Words can heal or harm, choose to speak life into others. Why do I know this? In all honesty, when I was a younger person, I used my gift to communicate. I think to do more harm than good. I was harsh. I was critical of people. I refrained from giving praise very often. You had to really earn it with me. And there's some power to that, but I think my words harmed more than healed. And when I made that shift to becoming an encourager of people, the biggest change was in me. The biggest change was the way the rest of the world responded to me.

• 11:53Ed Mylett?

  I'm pretty sure I could attribute maybe 95% of the wealth I have to a date after I became an encourager of people. Isn't that interesting? So I want my words to heal people. And you go, "Well, Ed, that's, yeah, that's great," you know? But most of us are just neutral. So be better than neutral. Or you're gonna have a neutral life. Be better than average. Or you're gonna have an average life. There's very few things that you can control. There's your attitude and your activity. And then there's this. Your overall outlook and the way that you interact with humans. And again, I know a lot of you like, Ed, no one cares what I think. Yes, they do. Yes, they do. It matters what you think. Okay, number five, be present and pay attention.

• 12:37Ed Mylett?

  Encouragers are listeners first. Notice what's going on in other people's lives and then speak into it. Empathy is the seedbed of meaningful encouragement. Number six. Encourage effort, not just outcome. Celebrate the process. Give them courage to start perseverance and growth, not just the win. So I love to encourage people who are just in process. I love to encourage people who are just starting. I love to encourage people who are just persevering and their growth. You know, a lot of times. You know, you started a business, you're not making any money. Or you're, you know, like, right now, I'm, I've lost, I think it's 28 pounds in a very short window of time. But I don't know that I really look that much different. I mean, maybe I'm a little bit leaner, but the fact of the matter is

• 13:22Ed Mylett?

  there's a part of me that's growing and it's not the physical part. It's the mental and emotional part that says, man, I am only putting into my body, the food that I said I would. I am training when I don't feel like it. I am doing all the things I said I was going to do. And so although maybe all the external results aren't there yet. The growth is happening. And it's been really cool to have friends of mine encourage me, hey, man, this is great, you know? And it's not, you look great. That's a compliment. That's flattery. It's, hey, I'm proud of you, brother. I know how bad that back hurting of yours. And you're overcoming that pain and you're getting in there and knocking it out anyway. That's what impresses me about what you're doing. That's a description of encouragement versus flattery. Flattery is, oh, you look great. Okay, go deeper.

• 14:06Ed Mylett?

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• 14:49Ed Mylett?

  Go to ro.co/milet to see if you qualify. That's R O dot C O slash my let to get started on Ro. For side effects of GLP one medications, including boxed warning, go to ro dot C O forward slash safety. R O dot C O slash safety. So when I end, when I end up buying the island, we had to do all of our outdoor decorating and I spent a fortune in the first half of the place. And I'm like, I don't want to do this anymore, but I want the best stuff. And that's where Wayfair came in. My wife wanted to get this new garden bed and Wayfair was the place that offered the perfect solution. Wayfair also helps you create a home that stands up to real life with quality products, great value and trusted reviews. Wayfair verified products are hand vetted by product specialists. They use a 10 point quality inspection system. Here's all I can tell you, the stuff has lasted over time.

• 15:33Ed Mylett?

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• 16:10Ed Mylett?

  Number seven, model encouragement consistently. Be the kind of person that others can count on for really honest support, not just occasional praise. I have a friend this week, John Gordon, who's got a big event happening in town and I may or may not be able to get there. It's in a few days. Yes, I just picked the phone up and messaged him, "Hey brother, I love you. I'm praying for you, so proud of you for putting this event on. I know how hard it is. I'm sure today's a stressful day and I just want you to know it's going to go incredible. And only you could pull this event off, I told him, but I said more than that, brother. I'm just proud of the man you are, but because you're such a great man, all these people want to be at this event, the speakers to support you. And I could tell you that I regularly do that with my friends. It's not just occasional praise, "Hey, I heard you had a great meeting."

• 16:56Ed Mylett?

  Whatever. Happy Father's Day. Happy Birthday. That's occasional praise on the 80 other messages they got that day. Stand out, model it consistently. Think about this. What if you just tactically, strategically, intentionally just said, okay, I heard my Let's Podcast today. I like it. I'm gonna start just intentionally being better at this. Okay? By the way, at the end, I'm going to encourage you, just pick one person when this is over, and encourage them. Text, phone call, email, you name it. Walk over to them if they're near you. Number eight, encourage multiplies. Encourage people become encouragers themselves. It's almost like lighting candles from one flame. One flame lights the next, next, the next, like the next. You're actually creating a ripple effect in the world.

• 17:41Ed Mylett?

  You're actually changing the world, one person at a time. The ripple effect in our life is something most of us never calculate on anything that we do. We don't think about the ripple effect of any of the good things we do. We just think about the one person we've helped. There's a ripple effect. When you encourage people, they become more encouraging of other people. Here's a couple quotes about encouragement. This one's unknown, but I love it. "A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success." So many people right now are in a stage of their life where they need you. They're struggling, they're hurting, it's not going the way they want. And most people are waiting around until they succeed to praise them. But very few people intervene and go, "I want to encourage you right now.

• 18:23Ed Mylett?

  You're making a great effort. It matters. I'm proud of you. You're overcoming, you're building resiliency, you're learning, you're growing. It may not be showing up, but I see it. I just want you to know, I see your growth." I have a driver that drives me at a particular event that I speak at very regularly. And he was driving me a couple of weekends ago. And he's a fan of mine in the beginning, but we've become friends. And he said, "Ed," he said, "I just got to tell you, I'm so proud of you." And I said, "Why?" He goes, "I've just seen you grow in your faith so much. I've seen it like, you probably don't see it because it's in your life. I've seen you're, you're just a little gentler, a little slower, a little kinder, a little..." You always were, Ed, but it's a different level now. And I just want you to know, brother, I see it in you and I'm very proud of you.

• 19:08Ed Mylett?

  Now, you would think, well, he's my driver. He was my fan. And I, why would that matter? It mattered deeply because he had no incentive in doing it. There's no above and below in life. There's just people. And when you begin to think of yourself as below or above, you're delusional. This was a man who I have admiration for, for reasons far beyond that he drives well. He's actually somebody who's prayed for me. He's encouraged me to read more scripture. We're actually both reading the Bible cover to cover this year together. We decided it. He's a friend. And I think one of the reasons we bonded as friends is I started early in our relationship encouraging him. And you know what that made him? It changed him into an encourager.

• 19:52Ed Mylett?

  All the way back full circle to where now he encourages me and I'm mentioning it of all the encouragement I've received in the last month on my show to several million people. It meant that much to me. It meant that much to me. So yeah, there's no below or above in life. We're just humans. And a word of encouragement goes a long way. Number 10, what encouragement is and what it isn't. It's not flattery, as I said, or empty praise. It's truthful, specific, and life-giving. Life-giving. You're breathing life into somebody. Encourage effort, as I've said, growth and all of that. This quote by Dave Willis just keeps standing out to me. Be an encourager. The world has plenty of critics already. Man, I gotta tell you something. More than any time in human history, I believe there are critics.

• 20:36Ed Mylett?

  I believe it's our culture to criticize, to tear down. There's a whole industry out there of making fun of people online. These people build nothing. All they do is tear others down. The best news that spreads around the world is bad news. More than ever, you could stand out if you were an encourager. There are critics everywhere. They're a dime a dozen. They're losers. They're losers. You remember the cool guy in high school that was always kind of a funny dude who made fun of everybody? You know that guy?

• 21:12Ed Mylett?

  He still works at a liquor store in your hometown, doesn't he? Because people who pull people down, it's really funny in the moment and they go nowhere in their life. People who are neutral typically stay neutral in their lives. People who elevate who they are as a being and encourage other people, they go to the top. They go to the top. I want you to go to the top. So here's an example of how to do it. Instead of saying, "You're amazing," say, "I admire how you keep showing up, even when things got hard." Okay? When you encourage someone, you equip them to encourage others. This creates a culture where people thrive, not just survive. If you're building a company, if you're a leader, become an encourager of people and not performance, effort and character.

• 21:55Ed Mylett?

  Now you've created a culture in your company where encouragement takes place. You've elevated the vibrational frequency, the performance of your company like that. And if you do it consistently over time, as I said earlier, here we go. You're now building a great company. I love spiritual and biblical truths to tie in. theologians 511, listen to this. "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up." It's right there. So be specific. By the way, take all the scripture stuff aside and let's just say, what does science tell us? Well, let's figure this out. Let's take a look. Verbal encouragement enhances physical performance, it turns out. A study published in the Journal of Sports Science has examined the effects of verbal encouragement, frequency during maximal exercise.

• 22:39Ed Mylett?

  So it measured the frequency of encouragement during maximum effort exercise. They tested it. Participants who received verbal communication every 20 to 60 seconds showed significant performance in VO2 max, exercise time and perceived exertion compared to those who received no encouragement or encouragement every 180 seconds. This suggests that frequent verbal encouragement can lead to greater maximum effort during physical tasks. If that's true physically, we definitely know it's true mentally. You imagine that? This is tangible, scientific, VO2 max, performance. The outlook on the performance as well. Weights lifted, times recorded, cardio, extension, et cetera, all measured, all goes up

• 23:23Ed Mylett?

  when there's verbal encouragement every 30 to 60 seconds compared to none or infrequently every 180 seconds. So if you're not a scripture person and you're a science person, you need to be an encourager. Leo Biscoglia said, "Too often, we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, all of which has the potential to turn a life around." To turn a life around. Number two, you want some more science stuff? Here we go. Peer encouragement boosts self-efficacy and performance in children. Research involving children performing endurance tasks found that those who received peer encouragement reported higher relation inferred self-efficacy, and demonstrated improved physical performance compared to those who did not receive encouragement.

• 24:08Ed Mylett?

  This highlights the role of social interactions in enhancing self-belief and task performance. We'll talk about self-efficacy a little bit, but this is basically your ability to lead yourself. Number three. Check this out. Study again. Newcastle University. Visual cues of being watched encourage positive behavior. A study conducted by researchers at Newcastle University discovered that displaying images of staring eyes in a cafeteria led to a significant increase in patrons cleaning up after themselves. This phenomenon rooted in nudge psychology suggests that subtle cues implying observation can promote pro-social behavior.

• 24:52Ed Mylett?

  Why's that matter? When you encourage, it tells someone you're watching. And when people believe they're being watched, everything about them changes. Morally, ethically, exertion, effort, and performance. Even to the point where the way they just see eyes on a wall in a cafeteria, they're twice as likely to clean up after themselves because now they believe they're being watched. Why? Almost everybody you meet feels invisible. They walk into a room, no one notices them. No one greets them. If they do, they get light, "Welcome, good to see you. How's your day?"

• 25:33Ed Mylett?

  If best, human beings get flattered, "You look great today. I love your smile." That's weak. Encouragement is what we've talked about earlier. It's deeper. Lisa Brevier said this, "You've been given the rare opportunity to breathe belief into someone else." Just think about that. Right now, you holding the power of your hands to any other human being to breathe belief into them, into their soul. My driver did that. Thanks, Frank. Very much, brother. I love you. Number four, praised, this is science, praised focus on effort encourages a growth mindset. Carol Dweck has great stuff. I love her work. Research, her research says that praising effort rather than an innate ability

• 26:17Ed Mylett?

  fosters a growth mindset. Children who are commended for their hard work are more likely to embrace challenges and persist through difficulties as opposed to kids who are praised for their talents. "You're so smart. You're so pretty." That's hollow. "You work so hard. You overcome difficult things so often. I'm so proud of you." You see the distinction? It's right in the psychology. Number five, encouragement enhances enjoyment and reduces perceived exertion. A study showing sports science students revealed that teacher-provided verbal communication during strength and endurance exercises not only improved performance, but also increased enjoyment and reduced perceived exertion.

• 26:59Ed Mylett?

  This underscores the psychological benefits of encouragement in physical activity. All right, last thing on this. Social support improves performance and lowers perceived difficulty. When someone's encouraged, the difficulty of the task in front of them is reduced in their mind. An experimental study found that participants who viewed images of supported individuals while performing a hand-grip task exhibited better performance and perceived the task as less difficult compared to those who viewed it images of just complete strangers. This demonstrates the effect of perceived social support on performance and effort. So all of this adds up. I said early that encouragement enhances self-efficacy.

• 27:43Ed Mylett?

  Here's the concept of self-efficacy. Individuals who are positively persuaded of their abilities are more likely to exert effort and persistent tasks even when faced with challenges. Encouragement serves as a source of this positive persuasion, thereby enhancing an individual's belief in their capacity to succeed.

• 28:04Ed Mylett?

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• 28:48Ed Mylett?

  Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to quince.com/ed for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash ed. It's a foundational aspect of being a leader. So why? What are the psychological mechanisms? Here we go. Self-esteem and emotion regulation. A study published in Frontier Psychology said that positive parenting behaviors, including encouragement, were linked to higher self-esteem, better emotional regulation in adolescents. Here's what that basically means. Your kids are less likely to act out when you encourage them regularly. Period. Behavioral activation. Research indicates that courage is associated with the behavioral activation system, which

• 29:31Ed Mylett?

  is a sensitive area that rewards and motivates individuals to approach positive outcomes. Encouragement can stimulate this system in your brain, therefore promoting courageous behavior by enhancing the motivation to pursue goals despite potential risks. Absolutely. Self-efficacy is a psychological concept that was introduced by Albert Bandura. And here's essentially what it means. Your belief in your ability to succeed in a specific task. Listen close. As a parent, or as a friend, or as a spouse, or significant other. Love is entry level. Belief is the big leagues.

• 30:10Ed Mylett?

  See, I believe almost all parents show their children love. Most do. Almost all people give one another love in an intimate relationship or in a friendship. Almost nobody transfers belief. When my kids left my house when they were growing up, I said, by the time they're 18, I will have transferred my full belief into them. Not just their abilities, or they're pretty, or smart, but how they work, their character, how they treat people, how they listen, what type of a friend they are. When Bella would run out of the house, I'd say, be a leader. Be a leader. Not a follower. Max, you're a gladiator. You're a champion. You're the greatest of all time. Constantly encouraging them.

• 30:54Ed Mylett?

  Measure yourself right now as a friend, as a husband, as a wife, as a father, as a mother, as a leader in business. Forget the love part. How good are you at transferring belief?

• 31:05Ed Mylett?

  Regularly, consistently, specifically, authentically?

• 31:10Ed Mylett?

  As a human being?

• 31:12Ed Mylett?

  You want to shift your life? Shift this. Think of it this way. Two people may have the same talent, same training, same opportunity, but one with high self-efficacy is more likely to try in the first place, persevere through setbacks, bounce back after failure, and stay motivated. There's a direct correlation between someone being encouraged and their self-efficacy. This is where, you know, things like encouragement is one of the ways that you help people build self-efficacy. But when you say, I believe in you, you've got what it takes. You're not just making someone feel good. You're giving them the psychological fuel to believe they can succeed, which is the seed of courage. Think of it this way. The ladder and the light. It's a great metaphor.

• 31:55Ed Mylett?

  Self-efficacy is like holding a flashlight at the bottom of a tall ladder for someone else. Each rung represents a step towards your goal. If your flashlight, which is self-efficacy, signs only on the first few rungs, you might hesitate. You can't see the top, and fear or doubt sets in. But if that flashlight signs all the way up, you believe, I can climb this. It's possible. It'll be hard, but I've got it. I can see the steps. Now imagine someone standing beside you saying, "I've seen you climb before. You're stronger than you think. I've got the light held here. Just take the first step." That's encouragement. Encouragement doesn't build the ladder for you,

• 32:38Ed Mylett?

  but it helps you aim your flashlight higher, and that changes everything. So self-efficacy at the end of the day is the inner belief that says, "I can do this," and when someone is encouraging you, it's like they're helping you point your flashlight all the way up the ladder. Suddenly, the climb isn't so impossible, and it feels worth trying. I want you to be a flashlight in people's lives. And I went out of my way today to tell you that if you wonder maybe why I've had the moderate success that I've had in my life, many of the rich friendships I've had, and why most of the time I've got pretty good self-esteem and self-confidence as someone who grew up with none and struggled with it a lot in his adult life.

• 33:22Ed Mylett?

  I can relate it all the way back to something I've talked about with you guys before, which is the power of my intentions. But if you peel that layer back one more and you look a little bit deeper, intentions to do what? My intentions are to be an encourager of people, to believe in people, to love people, but all of the above, not one of the three. I don't want to be a neutral human being. I want to be somebody who changes people's lives in big ways and small ways, whether it's onstage in front of 25,000 people or a podcast that goes to several million or if I'm in the backseat and it's my driver and I talk with one another. It's the same formula, be an encourager. All right, everybody. I hope today helped you. Please share this, okay? If you're not getting the podcast early, get on my email list, edmilett.com.

• 34:07Ed Mylett?

  You'll get the podcast before everybody else sees it. God bless you. Max out.