570 Find Your Confidence with Mel Robbins

"CONFIDENCE IS THE WILLINGNESS TO TRY.” We all need a tool chest filled with things that will help us with confidence, and motivation - especially if we want to be successful. One of the most powerful, useful, and important ones you need is the 5 second rule. On this Five Minute Friday I felt I HAD to bring you this tip from our episode with Mel Robbins. She’s a bestselling author, a former criminal defense attorney, a CNN commentator, happily married for 20 years, and a mom of 3 kids. She also has a 7-figure speaking business and is an inspiration of mine. Mel was easily one of my favorite interviews, and I know this is a tool that can launch you further than you ever expect. Hear all about her secret weapon and how to utilize it on Episode 570. Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is Five Minute Friday.

• 0:11Lewis Howes?

  Oh my goodness, guys. I am so excited about our guest today. Why? Because she is incredible. That's right. And she's here in studio on the School of Greatness. And for those that don't know who Mel Robbins is, you're in for a treat. She is a CNN analyst, the most booked female speaker in the entire world with a seven-figure speaking business, a bestselling author and contributing editor for Success Magazine. And she's been happily married for 20 years. She's got three kids. And she's got a new book out called The Five Second Rule.

• 0:53Mel Robbins?

  I woke up to the lien on the house, the fighting with Chris, the unemployment, the lack of confidence, the lack of courage, the like, the whole thing. But I did something I had never done before. I went five, four, three, two, one, just like NASA. I actually counted. And then I stood up and I was like,

• 1:13Mel Robbins?

  "What the hell just happened?"

• 1:14Lewis Howes?

  Uh huh.

• 1:15Mel Robbins?

  "What? That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard." The next morning I used it again. It worked. The next morning I used it again. It worked. What I'm about to tell you is right under everybody's nose. There's a five-second window between the instincts, the shoulds, the urges, the inner wisdom, the things that can change your life if you listen to it. You've got a five-second window from the moment you feel that instinct to move. And if you don't, your brain is actually designed to kill it. So if you're in the middle of a difficult conversation and you feel those feelings come up that normally trigger you to start editing yourself, or to censor yourself, or to silence yourself, or to think sabotaging thoughts in like a business negotiation,

• 2:00Mel Robbins?

  five, four, three, two, one. Awaken the prefrontal cortex. Get back in the game. It has given me mastery over myself. Like, I get so choked up just thinking about this. Like, I used to feel out of control and... This rule allows me to be the best version of me and to interrupt like all the garbage that can trigger you to behave in a way that's inconsistent with your values and your dreams. And so that has been the single greatest gift. That and also, you know, I think the other thing that's super cool is that it is a tool

• 2:40Mel Robbins?

  that certainly prompts you to act, but it is also a tool that helps you tune in to your inner wisdom. Like you're not only gonna start waking up, you'll be so in tune with those signals that come from your instincts, not emotional, not instinctual, like instinctual, that you get a direct line to your inner voice. You get a direct line. One of the things that's always struck me, if you list all the people that you admire, right? Yeah, Richard Branson, Oprah Winfrey, Bill Gates, like everybody's got kind of this, yeah, well, whatever. Louis, for sure. If you list all those people, Jay-Z, like everybody, everybody that you admire is doing the exact same thing.

• 3:23Mel Robbins?

  They actually listen to their inner wisdom. They have figured out how to tune out the critic up here and trust the instincts. I have this saying about confidence that I've only recently kind of stumbled into as I've been digging into more research around the science of confidence and the skill of confidence, because a lot of people think that confidence is a personality trait. It's not. It's actually a skill that you build through action. And a lot of people think confidence is a state of belief. It can be, but that's not where it begins. And so I say that confidence is the willingness to try. That's all that it is. Knowing that you may succeed or survive, but you'll still try.

• 4:08Mel Robbins?

  And to me, all those people that we admire most...

• 4:13Mel Robbins?

  That's what they're doing. They have the ability to tune into those instincts that are true for them. Because the fact is, there's only one you. That's it. And you matter because there's only one you, and there's only ever gonna be one you. And your instincts, and your experiences, and your inner wisdom is a gift to the world. And every time that you tune it out because of the habit of hesitating, or the habit of self-doubt, or the habit of worrying, or the habit of overthinking, you are robbing the world of that gift that you have to give to everybody. And you can use this simple, stupid, silly tool to train yourself to not only hear it,

• 4:57Mel Robbins?

  but also to develop the skill of courage to act on it.