983 Overcoming Negative Self-Talk & Building Success Habits w/Olympic Gold Medalist Kerri Walsh Jennings

"The process is a beautiful thing, and I love it. I’ve just forgotten that I love it."Lewis is joined by three-time Olympic gold medalist Kerri Walsh Jennings for a wide-ranging conversation on the thin line between failure and success, and the ongoing quest for greatness. They discuss how Kerri overcomes her fears, how meditation is an essential tool for the highest achievers, and how Kerri's relationship has bolstered her volleyball game."Kobe Bryant on Mamba Mentality, NBA Titles, and Oscars: https://link.chtbl.com/691-podKevin Hart Breaks Down His Secrets to Success: https://link.chtbl.com/956-podKatherine Schwarzenegger Pratt on the Power of Forgiveness: https://link.chtbl.com/925-pod Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is episode number 983 with Olympic gold medalist Kerry Walsh Jennings. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:34Lewis Howes?

  Winston Churchill once said, "Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts." And Venus Williams said, "Just believe in yourself. Even if you don't, pretend that you do, and some point you will." My guest today is one of the most decorated American athletes of all time. Kerry Walsh Jennings has won three Olympic gold medals and one bronze in beach volleyball, as well as three world championship titles. She's a machine. She's also notched more career victories and earned more total money than any woman in history. And the Tokyo Olympics were actually supposed to start this week. Crazy, I know.

• 1:17Lewis Howes?

  I was supposed to be there, and this is my favorite time every four years. And Kerry was aiming for redemption after finishing third in Rio in 2016. And I was there to watch that performance. So it seemed like a perfect time to bring you this interview. We sat down for a wide-ranging conversation back in early spring, before we knew the full scope of the coronavirus pandemic. But Kerry's wisdom is incredibly relevant in this moment. And in this episode, we discuss how to perform at your best in the most challenging moments, why Kerry still suffers negative self-talk, and what she does to overcome it. This blew my mind when she shared this. Why the process is as important as the results,

• 2:02Lewis Howes?

  super hard for a lot of us to deal with. How meditation is a essential tool for the highest achievers, and so much more. If you find this inspiring, if you want to make an impact in the world, then make sure to share this with someone who you think could be inspired by this as well. Just send them the link lewishouse.com/983 or copy and paste the link on Apple Podcast or Spotify or wherever you're listening to this right now. And a quick reminder, if you haven't yet subscribed, go to Apple Podcast and click the subscribe button on the School of Greatness, as well as giving us a five-star rating and review to help us spread the message of greatness to more people. Stay tuned for Olympic legend Kerry Walsh Jennings.

• 2:52Lewis Howes?

  All right, welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness Podcast. We've got Kerry Walsh Jennings in the house. Super excited.

• 2:58Speaker 01

  Oh, me too.

• 2:59Lewis Howes?

  The icon. I've seen you, I've seen you play a number of times. I saw you in London. It was my first Olympics that I went to and I told myself, and you were one of the only few sports that actually watched. I remember watching from the top in London. It was like a nice little venue.

• 3:13Speaker 01

  Amazing venue.

• 3:14Lewis Howes?

  It was cool, yeah. And somehow I, I think I connected with someone from Gatorade who was like had extra tickets and I was in there and I was watching you guys. It was amazing. I watched you in Rio as well.

• 3:24Speaker 01

  You did?

• 3:25Lewis Howes?

  I was there in Rio.

• 3:26Speaker 01

  Oh, a good game or a tough game?

• 3:27Lewis Howes?

  Um.

• 3:29Speaker 01

  Did we win or lose?

• 3:30Lewis Howes?

  I was just looking at my phone before you got here because I thought I had videos of it, but I couldn't find it. So I have to go back.

• 3:34Speaker 01

  Let's just say we won.

• 3:35Lewis Howes?

  You won that game for sure. And that was amazing. And I remember going to London as my first Olympics to attend and I was like, I can never miss an Olympics again.

• 3:45Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 3:46Lewis Howes?

  It was amazing just to experience it.

• 3:48Speaker 01

  I, you know, I cannot wait to experience it as a spectator. 100%.

• 3:52Lewis Howes?

  Right?

• 3:53Speaker 01

  Yes. I mean, I want more as a competitor. I want one more. But my goodness, it's, they do such a great job.

• 3:59Lewis Howes?

  It's unreal.

• 4:00Speaker 01

  It's unreal. And then you just feel like you're floating everywhere because the energy is like so electric.

• 4:04Lewis Howes?

  So cool. But you don't get the experience out of it all, do you?

• 4:07Speaker 01

  No.

• 4:07Lewis Howes?

  You're just focused.

• 4:08Speaker 01

  I mean, you know how it is when you're competing. You're just like, I'm here to do one thing. And sightseeing and all that stuff is for later, but no, we're on a mission. Usually for volleyball, we go almost the whole two weeks of the Olympics and we play every other night until the playoff rounds. So you're just like, the hardest thing in the world is to wait for your next match. You know, you have like 24 hours plus. You're like, oh my gosh. When usually we play two or three matches a day, we're like rolling.

• 4:31Lewis Howes?

  You do one match and then you wait two days, a day and a half.

• 4:33Speaker 01

  Yes, exactly. So it's a mental.

• 4:34Lewis Howes?

  What do you do with that downtime?

• 4:35Speaker 01

  Man. Well, I have my children and my husband, so that's wonderful. But I find myself, it's really hard. Like, I have not mastered that, and I don't know if I can, you know, because I want to be with, like, my kids didn't go to Rio because Zika. We were worried, but my husband went. But when I would be with him, I was so anxious and tense. And it was just, it wasn't fair to him, you know, and I, it's like really hard to express, like, I love you so much and I want to be with you, but I can't. You know, he's like, well, you have two days. I'm like, I can't.

• 5:01Lewis Howes?

  This is the two most important weeks of the four years for you.

• 5:05Speaker 01

  I mean, I guess so, ultimately, yeah.

• 5:07Lewis Howes?

  In those two weeks, you should be so dialed in and focused. You need to be selfish.

• 5:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, yeah, and but I'm of the mindset where I just want to have so much fun. And like, like, I want to win with my people, like, living life, you know, I'm obsessed. And I'm like intense and all these things, but I also want to have a flip side of that. Because that's just, I think that's possible, and I have not done that yet, and so.

• 5:31Lewis Howes?

  You mean, like, having fun, being with your friends and family and your team and winning every game? And just like, not all this pressure and stress?

• 5:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, and I don't even see it as pressure and stress. Like, when you're, I'm in like a little vacuum when I go to the Olympics. You know, it's like, I, we don't stay in the village because that energy is intense. We stay there for like two nights before opening ceremonies, and then we're like, peace out. Because some people are done the first day, and they're just raging and hanging.

• 5:55Lewis Howes?

  Drinking and having sex with them in the village.

• 5:57Speaker 01

  Apparently.

• 5:58Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, going crazy.

• 5:59Speaker 01

  All those stories. I mean, can you imagine? Four years of just waiting. But yeah, so we kind of dissociate from that. But like, to me, it's just another tournament. Like, I kind of have the Hoosiers mindset. Where, you know, it's like the same court, all the measurements are the same.

• 6:13Lewis Howes?

  The nets are the same height, yeah, yeah.

• 6:14Speaker 01

  So, it is so true. It's, and then I, we don't watch TV. Usually, we're in a foreign country, you know, and I don't really watch TV anyway, and so we just kind of go in your little cocoon. Know what you want to do, but I just want to do it with a little bit more lightheartedness. Not hang out with my family all day and long before a night, you know, a match or whatever, but just, just.

• 6:33Lewis Howes?

  Some quality time.

• 6:33Speaker 01

  More balance.

• 6:35Lewis Howes?

  Now, I remember watching some interviews of you talk after you won the bronze.

• 6:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:42Lewis Howes?

  I'm sure people ask this all the time.

• 6:44Speaker 01

  It depends on the day you hit me. I'm like, what? What do you got?

• 6:47Lewis Howes?

  And I remember you talking about, I don't, maybe it was in Tom Bilyeu's interview or somewhere else, or maybe it was briefly after the Olympics were done, where you said it was like one of the greatest lessons for you. It was like your most happy medal. It was not happy, but it was like you learned the most from it. You were like, I'm grateful we got this bronze, something like that.

• 7:06Speaker 01

  Well, we won the bronze, right? Like we won, like to go from like utter devastation, like literally.

• 7:13Lewis Howes?

  I'm not getting into the gold.

• 7:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, not even just that, because I've lost so many times in my career, but it's like losing a certain way. You know, like not playing great and it's, it was my fault. Like that's how I framed that entire match. And so to miss out on this opportunity, not only my dream, but my partner's dream and our family and our team, like that's how I framed everything. So the 24 hours, the less than 24 hours between the semifinal match loss and the time we played, I was a wreck, like such a zombie, just like literally walking in circles. Do you ever walk in a circle like, what am I doing?

• 7:45Lewis Howes?

  Right, because you've never been in that position before.

• 7:47Speaker 01

  Never.

• 7:47Lewis Howes?

  You always made the gold medal.

• 7:48Speaker 01

  There was so much shame and so much embarrassment and like, oh my God, this is crazy. But to get the opportunity to go and live another day, to fight another day. My husband at one point, he's like, you gotta stop feeling sorry for yourself. You have another chance. Like this is so rad. Like go and be an American and show that spirit. That's what America is made of. And I was like, dude, it's so right, right? Like I try to live with the Christmas spirit in me every day and the Olympics spirit in me every day. And losing the semifinal match was such a great opportunity for me to just like, I guess, look in the mirror and be like, are you going to practice what you preach right now? Suck it up, be a woman, pull your boots up and go get them, you know, or are you going to feel sorry for yourself?

• 8:29Lewis Howes?

  And lose the bronze.

• 8:30Speaker 01

  Right, and lose the bronze.

• 8:31Lewis Howes?

  And go out in fourth place.

• 8:32Speaker 01

  Dude, the worst. My first Olympics, we got fourth. It's so hard.

• 8:36Lewis Howes?

  Where was that?

• 8:36Speaker 01

  Indoor in Sydney 2000.

• 8:39Lewis Howes?

  Sydney 2000, oh indoor. You did indoor Olympics?

• 8:43Speaker 01

  Yes. So I was finishing at Stanford and then, yeah, I took like a year off to do that. But we got fourth and we kind of overachieved, so it wasn't like. It wasn't that much of a heartbreak.

• 8:54Lewis Howes?

  It was like, we got as far as we can go.

• 8:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, and we coulda, shoulda, but we didn't, and it was okay. You know, I don't know, it was more okay. I hate losing.

• 9:01Lewis Howes?

  When was that? What year was that? It's like 2000.

• 9:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I was 22.

• 9:05Lewis Howes?

  This is 2020. You've been in the Olympics for 20 years.

• 9:08Speaker 01

  I know, I'm an old lady. I, yes, I'm gonna take that.

• 9:12Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 9:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:13Lewis Howes?

  20 years in the Olympics.

• 9:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, so that's five Olympics, going for six. And I want six, so I wear four. My husband, oh my gosh, my husband was like, I'm like, babe, do you like my necklace? So I wore this gold four. And he's like, yeah, what does it mean? I'm like, what? I'm like, can you take one moment and think about it?

• 9:29Lewis Howes?

  A gold four, yeah.

• 9:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, and he literally, exactly. This is what I want, and I like to, you know, rep myself and what I want. And this is, I just got this this weekend. It's a black figa, um, which is very popular in Brazil, but it's like empowerment and, um, it's just like a sign of strength. And I, um, I was like, that's a sign, I'm gonna wear it. And it's kind of black mombish.

• 9:48Lewis Howes?

  It is, very black mombish. I love that.

• 9:50Speaker 01

  But anyhow, it was an opportunity to, like, live by my values, you know, which is never quit, never say die, um, you know, step up to the challenge. And just give it my all, you know, and winning the bronze was the hardest thing ever, mentally and emotionally.

• 10:05Lewis Howes?

  I remember watching after that.

• 10:07Speaker 01

  My god.

• 10:07Lewis Howes?

  You were like crying, you were like excited, crying, you were, I'm doing your post-interviews, it was just like, you were so happy.

• 10:13Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, what a relief.

• 10:15Lewis Howes?

  I remember seeing you high five like everyone around the arena.

• 10:17Speaker 01

  Well, that's what I do. I can't help it.

• 10:18Lewis Howes?

  But you were so, like, we won the bronze.

• 10:21Speaker 01

  Oh, it's so funny. You know, and something that I really, really wanted to do on the way to qualifying for Tokyo and then in Tokyo, like, I don't want to feel relief after a win. I want to really feel like, exactly.

• 10:32Lewis Howes?

  Excited.

• 10:33Speaker 01

  Exactly. Satisfaction. We did it, we knew we can do it, and we're living in our greatness. You know, because after winning that bronze was total relief.

• 10:42Lewis Howes?

  Because what if you'd gotten fourth?

• 10:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, and it was just, yeah, and it was ugly. Like, we won ugly. We did not play great volleyball. Uh, but we won. And I think it was like the perseverance and literally the American spirit, I believe, that fueled us to win because that's something special, you know?

• 10:55Lewis Howes?

  It is very special. What do you think would have happened if you got fourth in the last Olympics? Would you still be competing or would you be?

• 11:01Speaker 01

  I, I have no doubt. You know, I think part of the reason, like, I'm so confused why we got third. Like, I'm so confused about that whole semifinal match. Not that I always played perfectly or we always won, but like, we were the best team in the world. Like, we were playing amazing that tournament. And there was, everything felt great. And it was just, it's been a night, excuse my language.

• 11:20Lewis Howes?

  It's okay.

• 11:20Speaker 01

  Beat that one.

• 11:21Lewis Howes?

  It's okay.

• 11:21Speaker 01

  Um, but I really think I would have retired and I would have retired prematurely.

• 11:25Lewis Howes?

  If you won gold?

• 11:26Speaker 01

  If we won a gold. And if we won a fourth, I would have, it might have taken me longer perhaps to say I'm coming back, but no way, I just wasn't done. On the way back from Brazil, I think we left the next day, um, flying back and literally in the back of my book or the seat back, you know, pocket, um, they always clean it out the flight before, right? In the back of the, of the pocket, there was a book you either win or you lose, but the losers cross out and it said, "Learn." That's the book there that someone left. And I'm like, "Okay, God."

• 11:57Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 11:58Speaker 01

  Okay, I'll do it, you know? So I'm just, I'm still learning. And this, this quadrennial, I kind of lived my life in four years, right? Um, which I, you can understand.

• 12:09Lewis Howes?

  Of course.

• 12:09Speaker 01

  But, um, I, it's been really challenging, like, really challenging. Because it's like, instead of being here, the alpha, like, on top, winning consistently, like, Brooke and my partner, Brooke Swet, who's incredible, we literally started at the bottom and we're making our way up in our process.

• 12:25Lewis Howes?

  How do you start at the bottom, what do you mean?

• 12:26Speaker 01

  So I had, after, after Rio, I had a couple surgeries. You lose points. I had terrible finishes with my, with my, another partner. So you lose points, right? And then Brooke had surgeries, didn't have a great year, so we had no points. And you need entry points.

• 12:42Lewis Howes?

  To get in tournaments.

• 12:43Speaker 01

  To get in tournaments.

• 12:44Lewis Howes?

  Even if you've won gold medals in the past, it doesn't matter?

• 12:45Speaker 01

  A hundred percent, yeah. Someone's like, let's just grandfather you in. I'm like, you're crazy. I would be so insecure once I got there.

• 12:50Lewis Howes?

  Oh, wow.

• 12:50Speaker 01

  You know, you need to be sharp and you need to be sharpened by the world competition, you know? So, anyhow, it's been a crazy three years so far with Brooke and I and I'm just ready for smooth sailing. You know, and for us just to take up our space, like we're both so hard on ourselves. We just had a tough practice this morning and I'm like, why are we so mean to ourselves? Like, we know how to play viable. We are both excellent. We are so good and yet we make one mistake and it like affects everything. We get quiet, we like.

• 13:18Lewis Howes?

  Why do you think you beat yourself up?

• 13:21Speaker 01

  Man, just a bad habit. I don't know. I feel like my framework for so long in my life was like,

• 13:29Speaker 01

  just do it right and don't F up, you know?

• 13:32Lewis Howes?

  And what if you mess up, then?

• 13:34Speaker 01

  Then you fail, you know, and it's just, and I, my life, like, I was so, so supported, but there's a lot of excellence in my life and a very, a lot of very high expectations and things that I'm so grateful for. But the flip side of that could be that you identify yourself with your victories, with your successes, you know, with your performance, and I certainly do that. I still do that.

• 13:54Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 13:55Speaker 01

  And Rio helped me break through that a little bit. Being, becoming a mommy, leaving the sport for, you know, a couple of years, getting pregnant and having babies made me show that I'm very irrelevant. You know, like the world moves on so fast.

• 14:08Lewis Howes?

  If you're not performing, yeah, if you're not winning and playing, it's like.

• 14:09Speaker 01

  Or just, yeah, exactly. And so that kind of made me kind of own myself as a human. But the losing and the like, the poor performances, I still have a tough time with that because I'm like, God, I'm, A, I'm better than this. And B, it's just that mental framework before is if you're not winning, you're failing. Like, I need to shift that because it, it should have never worked. It worked for a long time, that fear of failure. It pissed me off. It motivated me, but now it makes me smaller and it doesn't serve me in a powerful way.

• 14:37Lewis Howes?

  In what ways it makes you smaller? Like internally, you feel smaller or you feel?

• 14:40Speaker 01

  I just, I, I kind of live in the what if, instead of I'm doing this, like, F you, get out of my way. It's like, I'm just. I'm kind of on my heels more instead of like stepping up. You know, like I always want to be a hunter when I compete. And the mindset to me is everything because I work my ass off. Like I'm so strong and I'm so physical and I love training. The mental and the emotional side of it is so challenging. You know, it's as a, as an individual human, as a woman. And then with, combined with my partner, who his or her own amazing, you know, ecosystem of emotion and all these things.

• 15:15Lewis Howes?

  Life partner or your?

• 15:17Speaker 01

  Well, both. But we're talking volleyball here. But you know, because it's like, and it's so cool in volleyball. Like, you know, I was thinking about this in all the world. It's such a unique sport because it's two on two, right? Like you have doubles tennis, but you are solely responsible for that return of that hit. I set my partner up, she sets me up. So there's a whole nother dance element to it and connection element to it. So I'm rambling, but it's really fun. It's what I love the most about the sport is that aspect of it. But also that I have to pull my weight. You know, we have to lean on each other, but each be super autonomous and like capable of handling our, you know what? So it's a beautiful sport.

• 15:54Lewis Howes?

  What do you think is the, the biggest weakness you have mentally?

• 15:59Speaker 01

  My self-talk.

• 16:00Lewis Howes?

  How, okay, so let me break this down. You're the best in the world.

• 16:04Speaker 01

  I was.

• 16:05Lewis Howes?

  Okay, well, you're arguably.

• 16:07Speaker 01

  Like, and it pisses me off to say that and I should just, I should just let you roll with that.

• 16:10Lewis Howes?

  You're the best in the world. Just because you, you got third four years ago in a tournament doesn't mean you're not the best still. LeBron James loses too.

• 16:18Speaker 01

  I know, but it's different.

• 16:19Lewis Howes?

  He lost a couple of weeks ago, didn't he?

• 16:20Speaker 01

  Every, every time I play, it's for a championship. Like every single time.

• 16:25Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 16:25Speaker 01

  Every time. I mean, you have a tournament, but like if you lose, you're out of the tournament. So there's another champion. You know what I'm saying?

• 16:32Lewis Howes?

  For that tournament championship.

• 16:34Speaker 01

  Like there's, it's not a season.

• 16:36Lewis Howes?

  How many championships are there in a year?

• 16:38Speaker 01

  I mean, there could be anywhere between 10 and 20.

• 16:41Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 16:42Speaker 01

  And we've played season where there were 18 and we won all of them.

• 16:45Lewis Howes?

  All of them?

• 16:45Speaker 01

  I think Misty won and I won all of them. And so I've, I've tasted that.

• 16:49Lewis Howes?

  What have you been, I guess, in the last 12 months?

• 16:51Speaker 01

  We won one last year.

• 16:53Lewis Howes?

  Out of how many?

• 16:55Speaker 01

  And we played the most of anyone in the world, over 15.

• 16:58Lewis Howes?

  These are world championship tournaments, but not just like US world tour events.

• 17:03Speaker 01

  So you're playing, so you're playing the Olympics, basically.

• 17:05Lewis Howes?

  So you won one out of how many?

• 17:07Speaker 01

  We won one, over 15. We, we made, um, maybe three finals.

• 17:14Speaker 01

  But I don't care, you know? So my, yeah, this talk, this is what I do.

• 17:19Lewis Howes?

  So wait a minute, when you go into a practice, let's break it down. When you go into a practice this morning, for example, just an everyday, normal practice, where you're going hard, you get your practice, I'm assuming you're practicing against men, right?

• 17:30Speaker 01

  We have two coaches.

• 17:32Lewis Howes?

  Like bigger, faster, stronger type of mentality.

• 17:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, often, yes.

• 17:35Lewis Howes?

  And so, normal practice happens and you don't do what you know you can do. You don't do what you're capable of. You miss the block, you, whatever.

• 17:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:46Lewis Howes?

  I don't know the terminology perfectly, but you miss the certain stuff that happens. What do you say to yourself when you do something that's not perfect?

• 17:54Speaker 01

  I mean, you need a couple beeps. Like, what the are you doing?

• 17:58Lewis Howes?

  You'll say this internally.

• 17:59Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 17:59Lewis Howes?

  Not out loud.

• 18:00Speaker 01

  I'm sorry, kids.

• 18:01Lewis Howes?

  You're good, you'll say it.

• 18:02Speaker 01

  But, yeah, it's kind of like, but it's not, it's not deep, the way I say it or mean it. But like, death by like a thousand paper cuts is a real thing, you know? And I just, there's like fear behind that, and there's weakness behind that. And I think anything, like, everything is energy. So if that's like, I'm creating momentum with those thoughts and with the, you know, that internal dialogue. And I just, I need to stop it. And I need to be like, Carrie, you're on your way. Like, this is a process. And so what I'm coming to learn, that I have to love the process. Like, I have to make that decision and then just be done with it. You know, because you don't, you only fail if you just frame it that way. And I'm not going to quit. You know, that's the ultimate failure to me, or having a poopy attitude and like, you

• 18:45Speaker 01

  know, like, ending on those terms, that would be quitting. But the process is a beautiful thing, and I love it. I just have forgotten that I love it.

• 18:53Lewis Howes?

  Now, how often do you say a positive thing to yourself? Or do you only speak positively internally when you do something right?

• 19:00Speaker 01

  You know, I don't know how to answer that, yeah.

• 19:04Lewis Howes?

  Do you speak, like, do you do positive self-talk internally?

• 19:07Speaker 01

  In my life, I do. Like, I'm a happy girl.

• 19:09Lewis Howes?

  I mean, I practice.

• 19:10Speaker 01

  Look at the rainbow, look at the butterfly, look great. You know, I don't know, you know, my, our coaches do a good job, be like, that's what good looks like. You know, that was great, Carrie, you're doing this good, and... I tend to only hear the criticisms.

• 19:21Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 19:21Speaker 01

  So I don't even hear that that much.

• 19:22Lewis Howes?

  You don't even hear that, it just goes in and out.

• 19:24Speaker 01

  No.

• 19:24Lewis Howes?

  And then you wait until, oh, but you can improve there.

• 19:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly.

• 19:27Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 19:28Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 19:28Lewis Howes?

  So you don't even say anything positive yourself?

• 19:30Speaker 01

  I mean, during matches, I for sure do.

• 19:32Lewis Howes?

  But not during practice?

• 19:33Speaker 01

  No, but I, and I so believe in practicing like I compete.

• 19:36Lewis Howes?

  I've seen videos where you talk like that.

• 19:38Speaker 01

  Yes, no, a hundred percent.

• 19:39Lewis Howes?

  You're like just as intense in practice.

• 19:40Speaker 01

  Well, yes, and now it's like I'm too, too on this side of the spectrum. Too intense, too aggro.

• 19:45Lewis Howes?

  I wonder if you, I mean, if you're this negative. I mean, to yourself, like, but maybe that's what's driven you to be successful.

• 19:55Speaker 01

  No.

• 19:55Lewis Howes?

  I don't know.

• 19:55Speaker 01

  No, it's not.

• 19:56Lewis Howes?

  I wonder what it'd be like if you were positive for a week.

• 19:58Speaker 01

  No, I know, exactly.

• 20:00Lewis Howes?

  Just you practiced it daily for a week.

• 20:01Speaker 01

  I love it. So I listen to Abraham Hicks every day.

• 20:04Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 20:04Speaker 01

  Right? Love her, love them, love attraction. So what I'm doing now.

• 20:08Lewis Howes?

  I'm trying to interview her, yeah, she'd be great.

• 20:09Speaker 01

  Are you?

• 20:09Lewis Howes?

  Why?

• 20:10Speaker 01

  Can I come?

• 20:11Lewis Howes?

  She's like impossible, but if you have a connection to her, let me know.

• 20:13Speaker 01

  I don't, but I'll try for you.

• 20:14Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 20:15Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 20:16Lewis Howes?

  I'd probably fill the whole building.

• 20:17Speaker 01

  No doubt.

• 20:18Lewis Howes?

  Anyway, so you try to listen to her every day?

• 20:20Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, sorry. I just visualize that. I would like to be there. Thank you.

• 20:23Lewis Howes?

  Good.

• 20:24Speaker 01

  So she tells you, if you're in a funk, she's like, A, don't talk about it, which I'm obviously talking about it. And she's like, B, just like write down lists of the positive aspects. You know, what's going good?

• 20:36Lewis Howes?

  With the funk?

• 20:37Speaker 01

  With, no, with my game.

• 20:39Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 20:39Speaker 01

  With the day, with my relationship with my husband, with you, with my partner. You know, like, just focus on the good is the bottom line. Because again, every thought is momentum in one direction or the other. And I swear to you, I live my life that way for some reason.

• 20:51Lewis Howes?

  But not in practice?

• 20:52Speaker 01

  Not lately.

• 20:53Lewis Howes?

  What?

• 20:54Speaker 01

  I know, and it's driving me crazy. And it's such a disservice to my team. Like, I'm being a selfish athlete right now. And it's almost like, I don't know, I mean, you're a man, I don't know if you get this, but like, I, you know, when women are on their periods and they're just like so hormonal. And like, I have these moments where like, I'm being an a-hole and I can't help it. I'm just gonna run with it. Like, I know I'm doing this, but it's like, almost like it has control over me.

• 21:16Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 21:17Speaker 01

  And I think it's just, like, there's fear, like, I want what I want so bad.

• 21:20Lewis Howes?

  The fear of what?

• 21:21Speaker 01

  Of not, of not qualifying, of not being the greatest ever, like, of not achieving this dream of 4G, you know, like.

• 21:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, but mostly not doing it the right way. Like, I can lose. I can totally lose. I just, I fear losing the wrong way.

• 21:39Lewis Howes?

  What's the wrong way?

• 21:40Speaker 01

  Like.

• 21:41Lewis Howes?

  Like not trying, you mean?

• 21:42Speaker 01

  No, that would never, ever happen.

• 21:44Lewis Howes?

  So what's the wrong way of losing?

• 21:47Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 21:48Lewis Howes?

  What's this fear?

• 21:49Speaker 01

  Just, I guess, not winning. Like, it's just the bottom line.

• 21:52Lewis Howes?

  So you have a fear of losing?

• 21:53Speaker 01

  I have a fear of losing.

• 21:54Lewis Howes?

  Not qualifying, getting a, you know, silver, bronze, or not a medal at all. What would happen if you didn't qualify, or if you didn't get the gold medal?

• 22:03Speaker 01

  All good. I mean, I would be so bummed. And I would, it would fuel me in other areas. And I'd be like, yeah, there'd always be something, you know, a pebble in my shoe. But I've lived my worst nightmares. Like, I've lived it. You know, I've lost on the world stage. I've almost lost my marriage. Like, I've lived hell on earth. My personal hell on earth. You know, to other people, like, that's nothing.

• 22:22Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 22:22Speaker 01

  Which is totally valid.

• 22:24Lewis Howes?

  Your own personal experience is still traumatic and challenging in its own way.

• 22:28Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 22:29Lewis Howes?

  Even if you've won three gold medals?

• 22:30Speaker 01

  Exactly. Call me Greek, I don't care. But I've lived, I've lived really, really hard things in my life. And I've survived.

• 22:38Lewis Howes?

  What was the hardest moment you've been through?

• 22:40Speaker 01

  In my career?

• 22:40Lewis Howes?

  In your life?

• 22:41Speaker 01

  In my life. Oh, man. Well, losing loved ones. Obviously, that takes a cake. We've had a lot of loss in our family. But our faith is so big, and it's just that thank goodness. But almost losing my marriage. Like, the hardest, the craziest thing that I felt like I had no control over. So the only...

• 23:02Lewis Howes?

  How did you almost lose it?

• 23:04Speaker 01

  By losing side of it. Like, being so focused on my career. Taking for granted that my husband was right there with me. And not putting in the effort. You know? And realizing too late.

• 23:16Lewis Howes?

  Really? Was it after you had kids?

• 23:17Speaker 01

  We, I was pregnant with our first, and he's like...

• 23:20Lewis Howes?

  He was saying peace out already?

• 23:22Speaker 01

  I'm gonna hit the road. I was a week overdue, and he's like, we're done. I was like, oh.

• 23:26Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 23:26Speaker 01

  That's gnarly. Yeah, and totally like, he was going through stuff. But we were just like this, and I didn't recognize it, you know, and I was so selfish and so driven and so focused on winning the twenty, two thousand eight games. I just lost sight of my people, like, you know, and I, I will never do that again. You know, and we founded a company called Platform fourteen forty so that we honor the minutes in the day. You know, there are only fourteen hundred forty minutes in the day, like, that has become one of our greatest filters in life. Like, we are gonna choose to do that, does it service our fourteen forty? Does it keep us connected, you know? And I'm terrible at it, but it's, you know, that awareness at least is great. Yeah.

• 24:04Lewis Howes?

  So when you almost lost the marriage, how did you bring it back? How did you make it work?

• 24:10Speaker 01

  Well, I came to, to the realization that I had a big hand to play in it. Like, I stopped feeling like a victim, and I stopped pointing the finger.

• 24:16Lewis Howes?

  You didn't say, this is your fault, I've got this thing I'm doing here, don't you understand me?

• 24:20Speaker 01

  No, he was right. He was totally right.

• 24:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I just wanted to work on me.

• 24:26Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 24:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, and, and then Casey, my husband, you know, was going through his own stuff. And my, my only prayer was like, I pray for clarity for both of us, because neither of us were clear. And we were so angry and so hurt and like, acting out, lashing out that way, you know? And so I just prayed for clarity. Thank goodness he went and did his work, you know? And we just worked our asses off.

• 24:46Lewis Howes?

  In the marriage and the relationship?

• 24:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, he, yeah, it was like, our psychologist, who's our performance psychologist, but who helped us navigate this. Amazing. He was like, Carrie, if one of you has the tip of your baby toe in the door, there's hope. And literally, that's all my husband had in there, and I was all in.

• 25:03Lewis Howes?

  He was out already. He was like, I'm done, I don't want this.

• 25:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:07Lewis Howes?

  What was hurting him the most?

• 25:10Speaker 01

  I'm his girl, you know, and I just, I wasn't honoring him. You know, like, we made a commitment to like, love and cherish and support, and I was so selfish. And I just, I have so, like, I adore my husband, I, so much, and I would write him love letters. Like, I felt so connected to him on the road, but he, at some point, he just lost the connection fully. And um like I the notes like he would never read them. And he just felt, yeah, he was just so hurt, you know?

• 25:39Lewis Howes?

  But you were still, so you were still trying, you were sending him.

• 25:41Speaker 01

  I was, yeah, but that's kind of half ass, like I could have. There's so many other things, you know, and then when I get home, I'd be tired and I wouldn't like suck it up and. You know, cause that energy exchange is everything, you know, I don't believe in faking things. But I know I can make something special, even if I'm tired. Cause he deserves it, you know?

• 25:58Lewis Howes?

  Of course.

• 25:58Speaker 01

  So there wasn't a lot of like.

• 26:00Lewis Howes?

  So you're pregnant, you're pregnant and he's like, I'm out.

• 26:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:03Lewis Howes?

  Cause you're not trying, you don't care.

• 26:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, he's like, we're just two different people, living two different lives. We've changed, like every, like so many heavy, heavy things were said, where if I talk about it, I'm gonna ball.

• 26:15Lewis Howes?

  How long were you married for or together for?

• 26:17Speaker 01

  Well, we got, we started dating in oh one, we got married in oh five. And that was two thousand and nine.

• 26:24Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 26:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, but I was gonna say like, it's like all the major heartbreak in my life, aside from losing my loved ones. Has led me like, which is so cliche, but it's led me. Down profound paths of self-growth and deeper intimacy with God, with my husband. You know, with my partners and with the sport, you know, so it's, it's truly a vehicle for self-growth. You know, failing and kind of living a messy life, however, I do believe. That you can grow through joyful moments and I would love to do that.

• 26:56Lewis Howes?

  You don't have to be messy all the time to learn and grow and yeah.

• 26:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:59Lewis Howes?

  Now, do you think you would have, I don't know how you'd have a better career, but do you think your career could have been better? Single, without having a marriage?

• 27:11Speaker 01

  No.

• 27:12Lewis Howes?

  Do you feel like the marriage held you back in any ways?

• 27:14Speaker 01

  No.

• 27:15Lewis Howes?

  Or do you feel like it supported you in actually achieving all your dreams?

• 27:18Speaker 01

  I mean, it's just at some point, so I fell in love with my husband. Like my first day on the beach, like I met him, we, it was.

• 27:26Lewis Howes?

  He was a volleyball player.

• 27:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, and he's a stud, he's my favorite.

• 27:31Speaker 01

  God, no. No, no, no, no.

• 27:33Lewis Howes?

  You couldn't have achieved the three gold medals on your own without him?

• 27:37Speaker 01

  No. I mean, of course, of course, but it's like I'm here to live life. You know, and I want that full experience. Like after, before Beijing, I was like, I had a miscarriage. So we got married in '05, I had a miscarriage. Supposed to be twins, didn't split and went to heaven. And so we had, the timing of it was like, we have to make a decision. Either don't play the next Olympics or wait and have babies after. And we're like, okay, we'll wait. We're young, we got it. But my job started to feel very trivial and very shallow.

• 28:07Lewis Howes?

  Your job being?

• 28:08Speaker 01

  My job being professional beach volleyball player.

• 28:09Lewis Howes?

  Why was it trivial?

• 28:10Speaker 01

  Just because I was ready for more. I was ready for family. And so just my husband brought a new layer of myself and my life and my world. And then children obviously enhance that by a billion. And so I'm here, I'm here to like love life and just to do it with my guy. You know, and so no, he's, no, no.

• 28:30Lewis Howes?

  What's the greatest lesson that marriage has taught you about sports?

• 28:34Speaker 01

  Oh, I mean, they're so similar.

• 28:37Lewis Howes?

  Marriage is a sport, isn't it?

• 28:38Speaker 01

  It's, I mean, it's just the-

• 28:39Lewis Howes?

  It's like a full contact sport.

• 28:41Speaker 01

  Man, it's, it's, it's like what you do on the daily, like your habits. Basically, you are your habits, right? So if you're performing great on the court, your habits are probably pretty solid. You know, recovery, you're eating, you're working your ass off, all these things.

• 28:57Lewis Howes?

  Mindset, everything.

• 28:58Speaker 01

  Yep, you're connected with your partner.

• 29:00Lewis Howes?

  Communications, great.

• 29:00Speaker 01

  Yes, same thing with your marriage. Like it's those little things and those habits, you know, and it's just, it's so worth the time to water that side of life. And it's so important. And I've said this before, but I literally, I have never won a volleyball match when my husband and I are fighting. Never.

• 29:16Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 29:17Speaker 01

  Ever. I can't do it.

• 29:18Lewis Howes?

  Not even like an early round match?

• 29:20Speaker 01

  No, no, like for some reason we get like invites in the later rounds. Like this should be illegal first of all.

• 29:25Lewis Howes?

  But we're not talking for two weeks, yeah.

• 29:27Speaker 01

  No, like, you know, life is just crazy.

• 29:29Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 29:30Speaker 01

  But like if my, if my life is good-

• 29:32Lewis Howes?

  You have to clear, you have to clear the fight first before you go into the match.

• 29:35Speaker 01

  Because my soul is just hurt. Like he's part of my spirit, you know? And so if I'm feeling disconnected from, from Casey, then I'm, I'm just in trouble. You know, so that's how much my family, my people mean to me and affect me. And I love them so much. Like, my goal in life is to be autonomous. Cause that's like the ultimate freedom, you know, I can be in command of myself, I can be in command of my tools. In life, on the court, off the court, but my, and I don't wanna lean on anybody. But my people may take me to the next level and their love and their support, my love for them make me so brave. You know, and capable of enduring anything. And so it's just that part of the equation is important to me.

• 30:12Lewis Howes?

  What's the greatest skill you think you have that makes you different than every other volleyball player?

• 30:17Speaker 01

  Oh, like a technique? Or could it?

• 30:19Lewis Howes?

  It could be any skill. It could be a mental skill, it could be a habit skill, it could be a technique, it could be a power, aggressiveness, it could be jumping, I mean, what's the thing that you have that no one else has?

• 30:31Speaker 01

  I just have to say it's the full package. You know, I'm six, two and a bit. I'm really physical. I'm really effing hungry for the win. Um, I got called last year to next level intense, or last year I got called next level intense by my partner, my coach, and I was like, really? I am? Like, I didn't even, I would never think of myself that way, just the way I'm wired. You know, but I think that like desire to win, that competitive nature, um, that intensity. You don't see it a lot. Like, you don't see it a lot, even, I mean, I get.

• 31:01Lewis Howes?

  With your height and with every, like, the whole package.

• 31:03Speaker 01

  Well, I was gonna say in men's sports too, but you see it. Obviously. But yeah, women, it's just, it's a, it's a different vibe out there. Doesn't mean they're less competitive, but the expression of it is different.

• 31:14Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 31:14Speaker 01

  You know, and so.

• 31:15Lewis Howes?

  Tiger out there, you're like a lion, like, ah!

• 31:17Speaker 01

  Lion, yes.

• 31:18Lewis Howes?

  Eat someone's throat.

• 31:19Speaker 01

  Exactly. Exactly, happily.

• 31:22Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Are there, are there any young women who are like in their mid twenties, late twenties who have that same type of like competitive drive or?

• 31:29Speaker 01

  Oh, for sure. I mean, yeah, they're, I mean. It's like everyone's like game face is different. You know, the way they express their competitiveness is so, so different. There's, but yeah, there's a handful of girls where they bring an edge. That, and I, yeah, some of them like piss me off, like, what? But I respect them all and I appreciate it, you know, like, there's one girl, she actually won the Golden Rio, Laura Ludwig. She's my favorite player.

• 31:51Lewis Howes?

  She Brazilian?

• 31:52Speaker 01

  She's, she's German.

• 31:53Lewis Howes?

  German.

• 31:54Speaker 01

  Yeah. And she's my favorite, and she has such a rad edge and such a big sweetheart. But she's just, she's so German. She's so like, I, I, and on point and, um, determined, and I love her edge. You know, but outside of maybe two or three others, like, there's really not a lot of like intense. People going on, yeah. Not that they're mellow, but you know, next level.

• 32:15Lewis Howes?

  Intense. What would you say is your greatest weakness then? Is that your self-talk?

• 32:23Speaker 01

  So I would, I would wanna say my inconsistency, which is not physical lacking. So I guess it would be.

• 32:35Lewis Howes?

  Inconsistency is what?

• 32:36Speaker 01

  Like, I'd make mistakes, you know, like really aggressive mistakes, or I'm going for things and I, I wanna be more precise and I want them to earn the points, I'm giving people points. But I, and I was gonna say that perhaps my, like my mental agility, you know, like when I get stressed, like I go higher and higher, higher, instead of taking a breath and chilling. Like I'm working on that and I've gotten so much better, but I know that about myself, you know? And then like when you're kind of breathing faster and higher, like your vision goes from here to here, you know? And so I'm really, I'm very aware of it.

• 33:08Lewis Howes?

  That happens during game, during matches?

• 33:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know, like, cause you're, it's such a sensory experience, like I'm, I rely on a lot of vision, a lot of touch, and I, I try to listen to my partner and then I sense the other team. You know, so if I'm like, like in this vibe where I'm just like overexcited or nervous or fearful or just over amped, like my senses turn off and I almost hear white noise, you know, and then I.

• 33:31Lewis Howes?

  In the middle of the match?

• 33:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know, and then you're like, like I'll go up to go hit the ball, my partner's saying line, line, line, line, and I don't hear it till after I land. And I was like, oh, that'd have been nice to hear.

• 33:41Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 33:41Speaker 01

  Just stuff like that.

• 33:42Lewis Howes?

  And that's because you're breathing too fast, you're too anxious in the mind.

• 33:46Speaker 01

  I think so.

• 33:47Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 33:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, cause if I could take, you know, slow, deep breath through my nose, I'm, my, my whole system's gonna know I'm okay. But I just, I'm one of those people who, like, look how talk I, how fast I talk. I'm just a fast talker. I'm a fast liver and I live up here in myself and so when I get going.

• 34:01Lewis Howes?

  I know you're practicing this, you're practicing breathing, you're practicing.

• 34:04Speaker 01

  I am.

• 34:05Lewis Howes?

  I'm assuming you've got the best coaches who are like, you're doing Wim Hof or you're doing Laird stuff.

• 34:10Speaker 01

  I have so many questions about your last experience, it's how fun.

• 34:13Lewis Howes?

  Unreal, yeah. I mean, I do do any of that stuff with Gabby and Wim?

• 34:17Speaker 01

  Totally. I mean, I've been trained by Gabby and Laird, who I adore and love.

• 34:22Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 34:22Speaker 01

  I wanna be like them.

• 34:23Lewis Howes?

  They're great.

• 34:24Speaker 01

  Wim, I brought his, I bought his 10-week course. I didn't finish it, but I will. I believe in all of it. But it's such.

• 34:31Lewis Howes?

  It's hard to slow it down though.

• 34:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, man, it's just, it's the hardest thing for me.

• 34:37Speaker 01

  Like meditation to me is the one thing in the world I wish everyone did. And it's the one thing.

• 34:42Lewis Howes?

  But you never do.

• 34:43Speaker 01

  No, I do. I do. I do do it. But it's the but it's really hard for me. It's like pulling teeth. Even though I believe in it with all my heart. I believe it's more important than going and busting my ass in the gym. I believe it's that important. And yet it's still hard. So that's where my work lies, like the stillness work. But I know these things. So now I just gotta create habit and routine and just I just gotta chill the F out.

• 35:06Lewis Howes?

  If you could add if you could add two habits to your daily routine or to your training routine that you know would make you even more elite and win more. What would those two habits be that you're not currently doing?

• 35:22Speaker 01

  I'm doing everything I believe I should be doing. It's the way I'm doing it.

• 35:27Lewis Howes?

  What's the way? Well, it's a new creating a new habit by the way of doing it.

• 35:30Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 35:30Lewis Howes?

  So what's the way of?

• 35:31Speaker 01

  The way I'm trying too hard. I believe.

• 35:35Lewis Howes?

  You're you're trying too hard.

• 35:37Speaker 01

  I'm trying too hard. Like when I'm meditating, I'm like, hey, God. What do you got for me? You know, like, and when I'm going through these like these progressions in practice, like I'm just like I'm so eager to be so great. I'm just, you know, I'm effing it up. Like be quick, but don't hurry. What is that quote? Like John Wooden, he's so rad. Like I'm being too quick.

• 36:00Lewis Howes?

  What's the result now?

• 36:01Speaker 01

  Yeah. And that the life doesn't work that way. You know, and I I with all of my with all of myself, I know, like, my life always works out. Like, all is always well. I believe that with all my heart. And whatever happens is gonna be amazing. And I I'm in this because I cannot wait to become the woman I need to be to walk this life and the greatness of this life. And yet I want to rush it. Like, part of me wants to rush it. Like, it's such a disconnect. And I think it's just fear behind it. So whatever that fear is, I need a name and look at and like, give it a hug, be like, we're buddies. Like, it's okay. You know?

• 36:37Lewis Howes?

  So imagine.

• 36:39Speaker 01

  Is this all gibberish?

• 36:41Lewis Howes?

  I love it.

• 36:43Lewis Howes?

  I love, I love talking to athletes. For me, this is my, everything I try to translate from my sports experience into business and life and relationships. So for me, this is awesome. Imagine you're on a beach by yourself and you're walking up to the net. And there's a volleyball court. And it's just you, you're Manhattan beach, your favorite beach, but no one's around. And you're standing looking at the net. And then all of a sudden, from the distance, there, there's a figure that's coming and walking towards you. Steps on the court, over the line, and walks up to the net. And this person is the greatest version of yourself. It's a reflection of you, but the ideal image of what you want to become.

• 37:27Lewis Howes?

  And you get to see yourself across the net. But this person is perfect in every way imaginable. The way they think, the way they look, the way they, their body language, everything. It's the greatest version of you. What does that person look like?

• 37:42Speaker 01

  Jesus.

• 37:45Speaker 01

  Like very clearly, it's Jesus in my head.

• 37:47Lewis Howes?

  It's you, I mean, if it's you, the greatest version of you.

• 37:50Speaker 01

  No, it's like, so, I mean, like, are you religious?

• 37:56Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 37:56Speaker 01

  Whatever, you don't need, yeah, okay. So, Jesus is just my homeboy, okay? And I just, like, there's, there's this artist online, I should look it up and show you so you can put it in the show notes. But, um, L Curlo is his handle. And there's, he does this artwork of Jesus, I'm gonna cry. And it's like, the, the essence of Jesus, or the soul of Jesus, or the frequency of Jesus is like, it's just heaven on earth. It's like, all is always well, you are good enough, you have it all, you know? And that knowing, like, it's a knowing, a happy knowing. You know, not that tough stuff doesn't happen, there's like a happy knowing that I am capable, all is well, I'm supported. And that would be me, but when you had me do that imagery, it was Jesus walking.

• 38:42Lewis Howes?

  But if it was you.

• 38:43Speaker 01

  Well, I have long hair too.

• 38:45Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, right, it's true. If it was the best, if it was you, an actual identity of you, walking towards you.

• 38:52Speaker 01

  It would all be the same.

• 38:54Lewis Howes?

  Are you 6'3", 6'2"?

• 38:55Speaker 01

  6'2 and a bit, 6'2 and a quarter, yeah.

• 38:58Lewis Howes?

  It'd all look the same, the greatest version of you.

• 38:59Speaker 01

  I wouldn't change mine, for sure. For sure, for sure.

• 39:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know, what an interesting exercise. Yeah, you know, I

• 39:09Lewis Howes?

  Would you be taller looking? Would you be standing differently?

• 39:12Speaker 01

  I would be everything God made me to be. I would just be fully in myself and fully okay with what I am. 100% I'm good.

• 39:23Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 39:24Speaker 01

  You know? Even though I'm very much a work in progress, like I believe I'm good. I believe God did good and I believe I'm working to, you know, whatever blessings he gave me. It's my job, my duty, my honor to, you know, make those even better. But making them better my way, like I got this tattoo and it's the chakras and like I'm after alignment in my life. And I think what I'm trying to say with all of my many words is that I'm after alignment. And Jesus represents alignment and to be my greatest self, I have to be aligned with my my source, my God, my Jesus, myself. Who I know Jesus is within me, God is within me, you know? And so if I can find that peace, even when it's chaotic outside,

• 40:07Speaker 01

  whether it's with my children, my husband, or on the court, then I'm a badass.

• 40:12Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, you are.

• 40:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:13Lewis Howes?

  How do you get to a place of inner peace when there's chaos in your life? How do you go to that place?

• 40:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, I think breathing is so important and then just like we talked about already, just like the words I choose to say, you know, that dictates thoughts and emotions and so just, I guess, just having the awareness that all is okay.

• 40:33Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 40:34Speaker 01

  You know, like just be where you are and you are capable of handling it all.

• 40:39Lewis Howes?

  What are the words that you should be saying to yourself every single day on repeat?

• 40:44Speaker 01

  Part of me wanted to say you are enough, but that comes from a place of lack. I don't know, you are loved. Like what would I want my children to know every day? Is that they are so deeply loved, no matter. I guess that's kind of the bottom line.

• 41:01Lewis Howes?

  What do you think young women, whether they're athletes or not, what should they be saying to themselves every day? When there's so much comparison in social media and so much bullying and all this stuff going on, what should girls say to themselves when everyone might be saying other nasty things about them or to them?

• 41:19Speaker 01

  Well, I think all of our jobs is just to be the best we we can be, best me I can be, best you you can be, right? And I, I mean, certainly I'm a woman, like I compare myself every day to everyone. It's just such a losing proposition.

• 41:31Lewis Howes?

  Really? You compare yourself a lot?

• 41:33Speaker 01

  I mean, I think subconsciously or just like, oh, like how cute she is or like, he's such a good speaker. You know, just these little things. But again, death by a thousand paper cuts. Owie, that sounds miserable. So I think self-love is a really big deal. I really think self-love is huge. I think recognizing our inherent strengths are really important, you know? And that regardless of winning, losing, being beautiful, you know, whatever beautiful is, like kindness is the coolest and the most powerful. And like you are made up, pure love. And all that sounds so hokey and probably not helpful to a sophomore going through it. But it's like your job is just to do you and not be persuaded, not conform.

• 42:17Speaker 01

  You know, like all this, all the magazines and all, everything on TV, it's all about putting us in a box. You know, and I feel like if you look at like all of those things and when you want to compare, be like, I'm not going to limit myself by trying to be like her. Like I'm going to be rad, be me. And be a non-conformist, you know? And that's like a powerful place to be.

• 42:37Lewis Howes?

  Do you feel like there was someone when you were growing up that taught you a really important lesson that you still hold on to today? Maybe a parent or a teacher or a coach or an idol figure that you, you know, a role model athlete? Was there a lesson you learned early on that you like shaped your life?

• 43:00Speaker 01

  There's so many. It would be hard, it would be hard to say, but for the way my life has worked out and what I treasure in life. Like I treasure my family, I treasure my faith, I treasure my sporting career. Like I love sports. I love competing. And in my life, my parents modeled that for me at the highest level. Like they were so committed to each other. They were very young parents raising their children. Um, and every week and weekend, we would go to their games, like super high level, really competitive softball games or bowling or whatever it was volleyball. And it was gnarly and it was really intense and they were playing to win and they had so much fun.

• 43:37Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 43:38Speaker 01

  And so that, to see that, not to hear the words, like words don't teach, right? Like they don't. But I saw the people I love and respect the most out there putting themselves on the line, winning, losing, like fighting with their own teammates because they all wanted to win so bad. And I just learned by watching. So that, the gift of that to me was just the biggest.

• 43:59Lewis Howes?

  And what's the biggest lesson you've learned as a mom?

• 44:02Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 44:09Speaker 01

  I mean, are each of my children, as with each of us, has like came into this world differently. Um, and I think just understanding that we're all fundamentally so different. And I have to give my kids the space and hold the space for them, for their greatest selves to show up. Right? To be nurtured instead of labeling them like this one has a tough time here, this one's great here, this one's, you know, whatever. And I do that because I, I fear for my children, you know, if something's hard for them, like, you know, it's like I speak it out loud and I kind of put them here and I wanna feather their nest and fix it for them. But it's not my job to fix it for them. And I learned that really early on and my parents let me fail.

• 44:53Speaker 01

  They had really high expectations, but they like, you know, they made me responsible because they made me go through it. And so that was, you know, confirmed me being a parent.

• 45:03Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 45:03Speaker 01

  But also just that, um, man, if you have a partner in the relationship, like.

• 45:10Speaker 01

  The partnership is hugely important to the parenting. Because what my husband and I do affects our kids deeply.

• 45:19Lewis Howes?

  It does.

• 45:20Speaker 01

  You know, and so I'm not cool with my husband, I'm great with my kids, my kids aren't okay. You know, so fighting for that deep relationship with my husband is very valuable. And my kids see it, and then they get self-worth and security from that. So I think those two things. But our kids, my kids are so wise and they're so rad, and I just don't want to mess them up.

• 45:37Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 45:37Speaker 01

  They are guided and gifted.

• 45:39Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 45:39Speaker 01

  And I just want their self-talk to be better than mine.

• 45:42Lewis Howes?

  Right?

• 45:43Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 45:43Lewis Howes?

  What's the thing you're most proud of as a mom?

• 45:46Speaker 01

  Oh, well, just them. Like, I had a part in creating them. Like, they are, yeah. Do you want to be a daddy one day?

• 45:53Lewis Howes?

  One day, yeah.

• 45:54Speaker 01

  My god.

• 45:55Lewis Howes?

  Scary, but...

• 45:56Speaker 01

  No, it's, I mean, yeah. It should be, but it shouldn't be. It's the most beautiful.

• 46:01Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 46:02Speaker 01

  Times a billion. Like, my kids are, they're just, I don't know. I don't know how there's war in this, in this earth.

• 46:08Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 46:09Speaker 01

  When there's so many parents and so many children, and it's just, it's, it's the most beautiful, powerful thing.

• 46:14Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 46:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's crazy to me. There's so much love.

• 46:17Lewis Howes?

  What's your biggest fear for them?

• 46:19Speaker 01

  For my kids? That they don't believe in themselves. That they don't love themselves enough.

• 46:24Lewis Howes?

  How do we teach that to kids? To believe in themselves and to love themselves more?

• 46:30Speaker 01

  I don't know. I, I mean, I think loving, I mean, yeah, like, you can't love me enough or believe in me enough for me to believe in myself, right? It's such an inside job.

• 46:38Lewis Howes?

  Crazy?

• 46:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:38Lewis Howes?

  How do we switch that then if we have? If the whole world is loving you?

• 46:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:43Lewis Howes?

  It doesn't matter.

• 46:44Speaker 01

  No, god, no.

• 46:45Lewis Howes?

  It's just like believing yourself. It doesn't matter if everyone's like, you've got this, you have so much potential, I believe in you. But if you don't believe in you, you'll never reach that.

• 46:53Speaker 01

  It's so worthless.

• 46:54Lewis Howes?

  And the cool thing is, it doesn't matter if everyone's against you or doesn't believe.

• 46:57Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 46:57Lewis Howes?

  It just takes more.

• 46:58Speaker 01

  Oh, it's beautiful.

• 46:58Lewis Howes?

  Isn't that amazing?

• 46:59Speaker 01

  To be a person of conviction, like, self-love, that would be the highest conviction that I would have. Like, that I would want, that I want in my life, because I can do anything. I can do anything if I have that self-love.

• 47:10Lewis Howes?

  On a scale of one to 10? How much do you love yourself and have self-love? Ten being like Jesus-level love, like yourself. Where are you at?

• 47:21Speaker 01

  Man.

• 47:21Lewis Howes?

  On average?

• 47:22Speaker 01

  Well, it's kind of a happy answer because with all my heart, I know I am a ten. Like, I love myself so much and I'm so grateful. It's hard for me to say that, but it is. Like, I'm grateful God did good. I'm becoming like I'm a divine human, I believe. Divine being. But, you know, I criticize myself a lot, so I don't know. I don't know what to say, but that doesn't mean I hate myself, but it just means I'm part of myself, you know? But I don't know how we teach our kids self-love. I think we model it. I think just, you know, authentic examples are the best form of teaching. And then love them so much and when they... Like, my boy the other day punched... My boy Sundance, our boy Sundance, punched his big brother in the throat. Like, when he gets pissed off, he goes for the, like, the eyeballs.

• 48:07Lewis Howes?

  He's like you.

• 48:08Speaker 01

  He's like me. He's like me, but he's so chill until he's not.

• 48:11Lewis Howes?

  I know.

• 48:12Speaker 01

  He's a little torse. And so, my husband got really loud and he was like, "Hey." And Sundance goes, "I hate myself." And he said it with so much sincerity, I started bawling, which is not okay. Like, I turned around and I was like, losing it. I'm like, that's his self-talk. And my boy Joey was okay. You know, he was fine.

• 48:28Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 48:29Speaker 01

  Which, it was not okay what happened. But I went to that because I think I resonate with that, because he's so hard on himself. And so, we had the talk of, "You are perfect. God made you perfect." Like, you have to love yourself. You know, and it's like, who knows what gets through? But like, those moments, having conversations around those moments, ideally, you know, at least they'll have an awareness around it or whatever.

• 48:51Lewis Howes?

  Isn't it crazy? And when we start to verbalize how we feel about ourselves to other people, it's like, imagine how much more they might be saying to themselves. Because I used to say so many bad things to myself growing up. And then I would say bad things out loud about myself as well as a kid when I was insecure or afraid or lonely or whatever.

• 49:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:08Lewis Howes?

  And it's just, it's a daily challenge.

• 49:11Speaker 01

  I know. I don't know why we do that. Like, self-deprecating humor, I find to be so funny. But it makes me so sad also. It's like, why would you diminish yourself? Why do I diminish myself?

• 49:22Lewis Howes?

  Make yourself smaller?

• 49:23Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's just silly. Even if you don't mean it, which most of it, how you probably don't, but it's like... Nip that in the bud.

• 49:30Lewis Howes?

  Do you think there's anything to being a critic of yourself, though, that helps you grow? Do you think like, okay, because I am critical, because I do look at this weakness or this thing that I don't have, that I'm becoming better?

• 49:41Speaker 01

  No doubt.

• 49:41Lewis Howes?

  Or if we're always our best cheerleader internally and verbally, would we be better off than we are?

• 49:47Speaker 01

  For sure. I mean, path, those are just, I think you could have high standards and you can, you know, work toward perfection that you'll never get, but keep like working for progress and be kind to yourself and not be critical.

• 50:01Lewis Howes?

  And still be loving yourself, right?

• 50:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, because the world's job is to be critical, you know?

• 50:06Lewis Howes?

  You've got coaches that are giving you feedback.

• 50:08Speaker 01

  Totally, yeah.

• 50:09Lewis Howes?

  You've got results that that give you feedback, whether you won or lost, it's like you already have that.

• 50:13Speaker 01

  I mean, have you ever played a game and you just had the worst self-talk ever and you've bounced out of it? Like, usually you're stuck.

• 50:20Lewis Howes?

  It's really hard to bounce out of it.

• 50:21Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 50:21Lewis Howes?

  Usually you need like a halftime or some type of break or like something, you got time out, be like, okay, let's refocus, let's clear the energy.

• 50:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:28Lewis Howes?

  It's really hard.

• 50:29Speaker 01

  No, so it's just, you just gotta nip it in the bud. So, yeah, I think, I think it probably works until it doesn't. But like the

• 50:35Lewis Howes?

  Or it only gets you so far.

• 50:36Speaker 01

  Exactly. And the biggest stage is you don't want, you don't want to leave any of those variables around. You like want to be so high and tight with your self-talk, like in crisis management or in these big moments that I'm trained to believe that all moments are equal, which they are. You know, but it's just how you frame these things, so.

• 50:51Lewis Howes?

  So, on a, another, one to 10, 10 being you, you only speak positive about yourself all the time.

• 50:59Speaker 01

  No.

• 50:59Lewis Howes?

  Where are you at on the scale of one to 10 of self-talk?

• 51:05Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, I don't, I don't do the high fives that well. Like, I'm not like, good job, Carrie, good job. Like, you did great today. I don't do that. So, I feel, I feel satisfaction in things, but I don't speak to them. I would say I'm like a five.

• 51:19Lewis Howes?

  Five?

• 51:19Speaker 01

  Maybe, I don't know.

• 51:20Lewis Howes?

  Five in self-talk yourself.

• 51:21Speaker 01

  Probably.

• 51:22Lewis Howes?

  You're the greatest volleyball player of all time.

• 51:24Speaker 01

  I know, but I'm going through it. Take all this to the greatest help. I'm going through it.

• 51:27Lewis Howes?

  It's amazing that you were able to get that far.

• 51:29Speaker 01

  It's so frustrating. No, no, and I've not always been like this. Like, you know, I'm just kind of on a roller coaster right now.

• 51:34Lewis Howes?

  This right now, got you, got you.

• 51:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, but it's been too long. I mean, a week of this is exhausting. Like, I'm so tired. I'm so ready just to kind of just focus on the bright side. Because it's there. It's like what you choose to look at. But it's like, it's what, it's what you focus on. Is what you're going to attract in your life, like, period. You know, so you can be going through hell, but you're looking at the sunshine. You know, and you happen to see a rainbow. And then you start noticing, hey, I feel pretty good today. Hey, I got a great partner. Hey, I feel supported. Like, I want to start that momentum going. Not like, oh, I just messed that up. Oh, my partner just looked me weird. Oh, the sand's so deep. Oh, it's so hot, you know?

• 52:09Speaker 01

  It's all in our control, too. It's just a really challenging discipline.

• 52:12Lewis Howes?

  What are a few non-negotiables for you every day? That dictate how your day goes?

• 52:18Speaker 01

  My attitude.

• 52:19Lewis Howes?

  Whether it be a routine or a habit, or like, I have to have a sip of this every morning. I have to say goodbye to my husband or kiss my kid. Or what, like, what's the non-negotiable that if you don't do it, you know your day is off?

• 52:29Speaker 01

  Oh, I don't have those.

• 52:31Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 52:32Speaker 01

  Not really. I think a good attitude trumps everything. However, I, the days I do meditate, I wake up before my kids and meditate. Those days are largely beautiful.

• 52:41Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, they're better than when you don't, right?

• 52:42Speaker 01

  A hundred percent, every single time.

• 52:44Lewis Howes?

  Sometimes you miss it.

• 52:45Speaker 01

  I know. I know, because I want to hit snooze.

• 52:47Lewis Howes?

  I know, right?

• 52:48Speaker 01

  It's not worth it. So that would probably be the biggest one. You know, and just making sure that I get good sleep at night sets me up for great days.

• 52:55Lewis Howes?

  It does.

• 52:56Speaker 01

  And that's another discipline that I'm getting better and better at, but it's a challenge. You know?

• 53:01Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 53:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:02Lewis Howes?

  This is a question I ask everyone towards the end. It's called the three truths. So imagine you've accomplished everything you want in the rest of your life. You win four medals, you win 10 medals. Whatever you want to achieve, you accomplish it. At this volleyball level, as a mom level, as a partner, as a business owner in the future, whatever it is you want to do, it all comes true. You're a 10 out of 10 in self-talk. You have everything going smooth, perfect.

• 53:26Speaker 01

  If I do that, it's all happening.

• 53:28Lewis Howes?

  And, but for whatever reason, it's your last day on earth. And you've got to go somewhere else, right? Your body goes, your life goes. And you've got to take every accomplishment with you. Every piece of content you've put out into the world, every business, anything, it's got to go with you that you've created.

• 53:47Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 53:47Lewis Howes?

  Your family, your kids around, but like, all the work you've put out into the world, it goes with you to the next place. So no one has actually any video footage of you from winning or speaking. They don't have this interview. But you get an opportunity to write down on a piece of paper, three things that you want to leave with the world. And that's what I call three truths. So it could be your three biggest lessons that you would share to the world. From everything you've learned, that now this is all we have to remember you by, these like lessons, life lessons. What would you say are your three truths? Without having any preparation.

• 54:20Speaker 01

  I'm so ill-prepared.

• 54:21Lewis Howes?

  It's okay. Whatever's on your heart right now.

• 54:26Lewis Howes?

  Three things you'd share with the world.

• 54:28Speaker 01

  It's your job to be happy. It's your job. Like, it's not your job to make me happy. It's my husband's job, and my kids'. It's my job, our job, to create our lives. We are not the victims, we are the creators. And if we live our days that way, we can create beautiful lives.

• 54:49Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 54:51Speaker 01

  That's one. Okay. Two, accept and love people and hold space for them to grow and inspire them by your leadership or by your ways, if you hope that they grow into something. But I feel like that would take the pressure off a lot of people if they knew just, period, you can't.

• 55:10Lewis Howes?

  Accept people, yeah.

• 55:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, you got to.

• 55:12Lewis Howes?

  You can change yourself, but you can't change other people.

• 55:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, totally.

• 55:16Lewis Howes?

  Okay, that's two. The third lesson that you leave the world with?

• 55:19Speaker 01

  God, I feel like I have so many better ones than I can think right now.

• 55:23Lewis Howes?

  What would you say to your kids? If you could share one final thing to them?

• 55:28Speaker 01

  I'm torn between, it's supposed to be fun. Life is supposed to be fun.

• 55:34Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, and?

• 55:35Speaker 01

  You know, like, don't take it too seriously.

• 55:36Lewis Howes?

  Okay.

• 55:38Speaker 01

  Like, all is always well. I always want my kids to know that. Like, I want them to know truly, if the worst of the worst happens, you're gonna be okay. I really want the world to know that, and I believe that's true. And simply, like, my grandpa, I asked him for advice. Like, I knew, you know, he was kind of getting ready to go. And I was like, "Grandpa, what's some advice you can give me?" He goes, "Just don't be a knucklehead." He goes, "Don't do dumb..."

• 56:03Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, just don't be an idiot.

• 56:04Speaker 01

  "Don't do dumb things." You know, um, so like

• 56:07Lewis Howes?

  Simple advice, yeah.

• 56:09Speaker 01

  Like, I'm so messing up your truths.

• 56:11Lewis Howes?

  You're good.

• 56:11Speaker 01

  Your three truths.

• 56:12Lewis Howes?

  These are yours, yeah.

• 56:13Speaker 01

  It's so cool to care. Like, it's okay to care a lot. A lot of people hedge their bets because they don't want to get hurt. But caring is powerful. And it always leads you to beautiful places. Yeah, and then I just really believe that we are the creators of our lives. We are the creators of our own happiness. I think that's absolutely true. Yeah, I don't know. Fire me. Fire me from this podcast.

• 56:38Lewis Howes?

  I love this.

• 56:39Speaker 01

  I don't know how good one's much.

• 56:40Lewis Howes?

  I love this.

• 56:41Speaker 01

  Gosh, I love this stuff.

• 56:43Lewis Howes?

  What's the thing that, um, you're most proud of about your, your husband?

• 56:48Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 56:51Speaker 01

  About my husband? I mean, his heart is the most amazing thing ever. He's so rad, man. The way he lives life is, he lives his 1440 really well. And he has high standards. He holds people accountable.

• 57:06Speaker 01

  He has fun in life. And he kicks ass. You know, he works hard, so he loves his work. And, uh, no, but his heart is, is magic.

• 57:13Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's cool.

• 57:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:14Lewis Howes?

  Tell me more about the 1440. What's, how do we, how do we support this?

• 57:18Speaker 01

  Man. Well, so we're at platform 1440, P1440.com, and

• 57:23Lewis Howes?

  P1440.com?

• 57:24Speaker 01

  Say it again?

• 57:25Lewis Howes?

  What'd you say?

• 57:25Speaker 01

  P1440.

• 57:26Lewis Howes?

  P1440. The number four.

• 57:28Speaker 01

  1440, yeah, 1440. Um, so we were started because our sport is, uh, volleyball is so powerful, so dynamic. But it's just so fractured. And everyone has their own little pieces of the pie and the athletes are suffering. Um, the elites are all dead broke. You know, they're all stuck in the system. There's no money, no stars. People can't brand themselves.

• 57:51Lewis Howes?

  You could win a gold medal and make not much money the whole year.

• 57:53Speaker 01

  A hundred percent. Well, we, no, it's, it's like such a long conversation. But, so we were founded to elevate and serve the sport. Like, we are a top five sport in the world, volleyball. No one knows that, yeah. With participants, with viewers, like, we are huge. We are one of the top sports at the Olympics. And tickets and a viewership on NBC. Like, we are, we are the thing once every four years. And so 1440 was created to make us relevant every, every day of every year. Not just once every four years. Like, it's a beautiful thing to be a popular Olympic sport, but it keeps you relevant for two weeks, once every four years.

• 58:24Lewis Howes?

  And then what?

• 58:25Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 58:25Lewis Howes?

  And then you're irrelevant, kind of, right?

• 58:26Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 58:27Lewis Howes?

  Unless you're the best in the world like you.

• 58:29Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, well, geez, when you've been around 20 years, people can't get rid of you. But, no, but, you know, the life of an Olympic athlete's really hard.

• 58:35Lewis Howes?

  So hard.

• 58:36Speaker 01

  But our goal, part of our goal for 1440 is to create kind of the NBA ATP model where the athletes can, like, cut their teeth, have their careers on the tour or on, you know, whatever platform. And then the Olympics is like the sacred, beautiful cherry on top. But if it's reversed, then that irrelevancy, that growth doesn't happen. So we're here to serve as a sport, and it's beautiful. And you can follow us on social, and we have a lot of juniors and semi-pro events. And the goal is to have-

• 59:01Lewis Howes?

  So it's a tour?

• 59:03Speaker 01

  It's a tour, but we're a digital media company as well. So we want to become like the go-to resource center for all things volleyball, training, mindfulness. Kind of the holistic approach that my husband and I live by. We're outfitting our resource center right now. So we have amazing experts. It's really, really fun.

• 59:17Lewis Howes?

  What, I mean, because there's been different tours over the years. It's been like, what was the big one?

• 59:22Speaker 01

  So, the AVP still exists.

• 59:24Lewis Howes?

  It still exists. Didn't it, like, go through some transitions?

• 59:26Speaker 01

  Oh, it's been like this. It's been so volatile. And the AVP is wonderful. You know, it's, it's, we believe it's mismanaged. We left that tour a couple of years ago. We just thought they were-

• 59:34Lewis Howes?

  So you're not a part of it anymore?

• 59:35Speaker 01

  No, and it was really hard, because we love that tour. We helped build it, you know, we feel like it's family. But the athletes were suffering, the athletes were treated like not well, and kind of holding the sport hostage. So we were, we came on board to celebrate them. You kick butt, and we're going to create new opportunities. And, because we believe in abundance. New tournaments, new opportunities for growth. We have a developmental program where we train around 80 to 100 athletes for free a year. The athletes just graduated from college who are trying to become pro. We give them free strength training, free volleyball training, free recovery.

• 1:00:06Lewis Howes?

  What, Manhattan Beach?

• 1:00:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, Manhattan Beach and Huntington Beach. We have two places, yeah.

• 1:00:11Lewis Howes?

  That's pretty cool.

• 1:00:11Speaker 01

  So we're giving back to the sport. And, but our sport, the demographics in our game are so powerful. I mean, we are the number one sport for girls and women 10 to 18. You know.

• 1:00:21Lewis Howes?

  In terms of people that play.

• 1:00:22Speaker 01

  Yep, participation. And then in college, you get 12 indoor scholarships and six scholarships for beach volleyball now.

• 1:00:29Lewis Howes?

  Six for beach?

• 1:00:30Speaker 01

  For beach. In the past couple of years that happened.

• 1:00:32Lewis Howes?

  What?

• 1:00:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:33Lewis Howes?

  I didn't even know they were playing beach in college now.

• 1:00:34Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. No, it's a beautiful game and it's grand like gangbusters.

• 1:00:37Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 1:00:37Speaker 01

  And indoor is ginormous and underserved as well.

• 1:00:40Lewis Howes?

  It's big. It's big in Europe, too.

• 1:00:41Speaker 01

  Oh, it's 100%, yeah. So we, there's a huge market opportunity.

• 1:00:45Lewis Howes?

  Why don't you know pro league in US?

• 1:00:47Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 1:00:47Lewis Howes?

  When US is dominant, aren't they?

• 1:00:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, indoor.

• 1:00:50Lewis Howes?

  In globally?

• 1:00:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, they're always, always the top.

• 1:00:52Lewis Howes?

  Top one, two, three.

• 1:00:53Speaker 01

  I don't know. There's just so many choices here in America.

• 1:00:56Lewis Howes?

  There are.

• 1:00:56Speaker 01

  You know? So there's just a lot of white noise. So we just need to figure out the marketing, you know, genius behind what we're offering because it's so beautiful. And if you show up, you're gonna have a great time. And the lifestyle of beach volleyball is incomparable.

• 1:01:08Lewis Howes?

  It's a blast, yeah.

• 1:01:08Speaker 01

  You know? So I don't know. We haven't cracked the egg yet, but we will.

• 1:01:11Lewis Howes?

  How else can we support you on this journey?

• 1:01:13Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 1:01:13Lewis Howes?

  In your life, with the career leading up to this.

• 1:01:16Speaker 01

  What a nice question.

• 1:01:17Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, how can we support you?

• 1:01:19Speaker 01

  I just think good vibes, forgotten prayers you wanna throw my way, I'll take them. But, yeah, I think you live a good life and make the world better in your way and I'll do the same and that's wonderful. But no, this is great. This has been two years coming, so I appreciate your patience.

• 1:01:33Lewis Howes?

  We've been trying to get Carrie on for a while. We've been emailing.

• 1:01:36Speaker 01

  I'm a nightmare.

• 1:01:37Lewis Howes?

  Instagram messaging, texting. When can we do it? When can we, oh, this month, oh, next month.

• 1:01:41Speaker 01

  I'm so sorry.

• 1:01:42Lewis Howes?

  It's all good.

• 1:01:42Speaker 01

  It's a nightmare.

• 1:01:43Lewis Howes?

  This is perfect timing. I'd rather have you now than two years ago.

• 1:01:46Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 1:01:47Lewis Howes?

  Carrie, I want to acknowledge you for a moment for the way you show up is really powerful because I can only imagine the amount of pressure that you've had over your career in the last 20-plus years of just trying to make it, making it, staying there, you know, going from different partners to having kids to challenges with your, your husband to just like the age difference in your sport and just constantly showing up at a high level with a smile, with a positive attitude is really inspiring for me and for probably so many women around the world who wanna be like you as a great role model. So I acknowledge you for all of it, for not trying to act like you're perfect, for not trying to have it all put together all the time and for being okay with the mess sometimes

• 1:02:32Lewis Howes?

  and the chaos sometimes. So I acknowledge you for, for everything. You're a beautiful human. I really appreciate you being here.

• 1:02:37Speaker 01

  That means a lot.

• 1:02:38Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, of course.

• 1:02:39Speaker 01

  It really does.

• 1:02:39Lewis Howes?

  Of course. I have one final question. It's what's your definition of greatness?

• 1:02:44Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 1:02:47Speaker 01

  Well, part of it would be what you just said. Like, when I think of the greats, what did the greats do? They showed up every day with all they had, 100% of that day. And they had such mastery of themselves and their craft, because they had lived the fundamentals, and the fundamentals became part of who they were. And so they were able to execute at the highest level consistently. And because their founding principles were so strong, body, mind, and spirit, and craft, they were able to have careers of 10, 20 years. Greatness doesn't happen once. Like, flash in the pan, that doesn't equal greatness. You know, that's a great moment.

• 1:03:29Speaker 01

  But greatness, like Jordan, like Mia, you know, like so many, like Kobe, it's over time. And those people show up with all they have, over time, at the highest level performing. And the essence of them and their journey to their greatness inspires, you know, whatever that little person in us saying that you have more in you, you know? I think it's a beautiful thing what the greats do for this world. They make us believe a little bit more, and they make us curious about what's inside of us. But the greatest of all time do it consistently throughout.

• 1:04:03Lewis Howes?

  Okay, thank you so much, appreciate you.

• 1:04:05Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:04:11Lewis Howes?

  My friend, thank you so, so much for listening to this episode. It means the world to me that you take the time out of your busy life to come here on the School of Greatness to learn from the greatest in the world, to get inspiration, tools, strategies, techniques, to take your life, your career, your business, your relationships, your purpose to the next level. If you found this valuable, do me a big favor and share this with a friend. You can just copy and paste the link, lewishouse.com/983. You can text it to some friends, post it on a WhatsApp group, Facebook, Instagram, wherever you want to put it, share it out there. Or you can just copy and paste wherever you're listening to this specific podcast episode. Link on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere else, and share it with a friend.

• 1:04:56Lewis Howes?

  You have the ability to change someone's life when you share this message. And if you haven't yet, if you're just a big fan of the show, but you don't subscribe, please subscribe over on Apple Podcast and leave us a five star rating and review as that really helps us spread the message to more people over on Apple. And also, if you want inspirational messages from me, text messages right to your phone every single week. We've got so many people who love these messages. Please text me the word PODCAST to 614-350-3960. Again, just text the word PODCAST to 614-350-3960 and I'll make sure to be sending you weekly messages on inspiration, motivation every single week.

• 1:05:41Lewis Howes?

  And I want to close with a quote from another great champion, Neha Hamm, who said, "It is more difficult to stay on top than to get there." Whew, I am so grateful for Carrie for sharing her wisdom today and really opening up and being vulnerable. And sometimes we can achieve a lot and then we think it's going to keep being that same way and we get the bronze as opposed to the gold. Or something happens where we don't get the result we think we should be getting that we got in the past. And it's hard to stay on top. It's hard to stay up there even when you've been there for a long time. And I'm excited, no matter where you're at in your life, you might've felt like you got knocked off in some area with coronavirus or with anything in your life happening right now with this pandemic.

• 1:06:25Lewis Howes?

  But I'm telling you, if you continue to focus on the process, if you continue to fall in love with the process, that becomes the prize. And the end result will be magical and beautiful at the end of the day. I promise you, focus on the process. I want to remind you, if no one's told you lately, you are loved, you are worthy and you matter. I'm so grateful for you. And you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.