Did We Hire Psychos?! w/ Dr. Hope Torres | Your Mom's House Ep. 819

SPONSORS: - Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at http://www.monarchmoney.com/ymh - Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://BlueChew.com! Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code YMH -- just pay $5 shipping. - Go to http://helixsleep.com/YMH for 27% Off Sitewide. - Head to https://www.squarespace.com/MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code MOM. This week on Your Mom’s House, Christina and Tommy welcome Dr. Hope Torres, an Austin-based licensed professional counselor specializing in trauma and personality assessment to analyze Tom, Christina, and the entire YMH staff. Before the doctor is in, the Main Mommies update us on what they've been up to, Tommy's on a water fast and Tina looks like a crypto millionaire now. They open the show with a really cool guy yelling at a bartender, before checking out a new video of an old favorite, Dan Pena, who explains why he likes having a painting of Hitler in his office. They also check out a clip of Charlize Theron bragging about banging a dude in his 20's and Christina shares her thoughts on the movie "Sinners" hmmmm hmmmm hmmmm. Dr. Torres then comes in and shares the results of a personality assessment that everyone at Studio Jeans filled out and determines on a scale of normal to traumatized combat vet where Tom, Christina, and the entire staff rank. She walks the YMH crew through their results on the PID-5 personality inventory (DSM‑5). and breaks down the personality domains like anxiety, impulsivity, narcissism, and eccentricity. There's also plenty of insight into how trauma, dissociation, and childhood behaviors can shape adult personality. Whether you’re looking for laughs, self-reflection, or a crash course in personality diagnostics, this deeply human episode is a must-listen. Your Mom’s House Ep. 819 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:05:13 - Mom & Dad Updates 00:13:13 - Opening Clip: Angry Dad 00:19:42 - Bert Kersher Interrupts The Show 00:23:05 - Dan Pena 00:32:49 - Charlize Theron's Sex Positive Encounter 00:38:06 - Christina Saw "Sinners" 00:46:26 - The Doctor Is In 00:53:24 - Who's Doing Ok? 01:01:02 - Mid Tier Crazies 01:10:55 - Top 3 Psychos 01:27:31 - The Biggest Studio Psycho 01:38:35 - Mentally Ill Main Mommies 01:53:35 - The Other Normies 01:57:24 - Closing Song - "Therapy Breakthrough" by Pete Sake Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Tom Segura?

  What's everybody? Summer is here and we've got some awesome new stuff in the YMH store. Survive this godforsaken heat long enough to check out the entire summer collection available now at store dot YMH studios dot com.

• 0:16Speaker 01

  Welcome, welcome to your mom's house.

• 0:27Speaker 02

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• 0:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  Welcome. Welkommen, welcome. Willkommen. Sorry, I just got excited because I didn't know if you're still into your Hitler summer.

• 1:02Tom Segura?

  Um, yeah, I mean, I've just kind of waiting. I'm waiting every day for another new Hitler story to come out. It feels like it's such a bummer. You're like, well, I've only seen 25 documentaries. There's nothing new?

• 1:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know. They constantly find a way to retell the greatest.

• 1:17Tom Segura?

  It's one of my favorite things about about the summer.

• 1:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  The summer.

• 1:21Tom Segura?

  It's getting a new World War II doc.

• 1:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  But sometimes you were into, it turned into a Vietnamese summer for you.

• 1:28Tom Segura?

  I don't like it as much.

• 1:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  Why is that, Tommy?

• 1:30Tom Segura?

  The story is just, you know why? Honestly, it's a dirtier, murkier story. That's really what it comes down to. World War II is such a clean, traditional, good versus evil story. Like, the fact that it's real makes it like, oh, my God, because you usually hear these stories in fantasy.

• 1:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, you're like, what? That guy did what? And then he took over what?

• 1:53Tom Segura?

  It's really, it's a, it's a good versus evil story. And then Vietnam is just so murky and dirty.

• 1:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  Convoluted. You mean, literally, the country is dirty?

• 2:02Tom Segura?

  No, I mean, like, the

• 2:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  Jungle?

• 2:05Tom Segura?

  The, everything that goes into what led to the war and the, you know, there's manipulation and there's all these lies and it's just, it's, it's very sad. It's very disturbing.

• 2:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, and Americans were killed, which I don't like.

• 2:19Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 2:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's okay if the Krauts die.

• 2:21Tom Segura?

  Right.

• 2:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  But not if good Americans die. Also, yeah, the fashion wasn't as great in Vietnam.

• 2:28Tom Segura?

  Big, big. Point of contention for me too.

• 2:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  Didn't like that.

• 2:32Tom Segura?

  What's up with the fashion?

• 2:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  The food, you know, I like Vietnamese food. I know you're not into it.

• 2:36Tom Segura?

  I like Vietnamese food.

• 2:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  You do?

• 2:37Tom Segura?

  Sure.

• 2:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  Um, also, interesting fact, your father, who was in Vietnam, uh, told me, I'll never forget. He goes, you know, the worst part, Christina, trench foot.

• 2:48Tom Segura?

  Oh, trench foot.

• 2:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  You gotta keep your socks dry.

• 2:51Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 2:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  Otherwise, your, your feet, they just, the feet are the first thing to go.

• 2:54Tom Segura?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  And I learned that.

• 2:57Tom Segura?

  You know, you take the trenching tool. That was another one. Trenching tool, you gotta take a shit and you endanger yourself a hole and you shit and then you, I'm like, cool? That's cool.

• 3:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, that was interesting.

• 3:08Tom Segura?

  I'll tell you this, he's not a fan of Vietnamese food.

• 3:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, I know. It's not even a joke. And we tried so hard to get him to even try Korean barbecue.

• 3:19Tom Segura?

  That was crazy to me.

• 3:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Which was so, it's so good.

• 3:21Tom Segura?

  We were living in Koreatown. And I was like, hey, you wanna get Korean barbecue? This guy looked at me, like, I was like, hey, wanna fuck your mom later today? He goes, what the fuck?

• 3:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know.

• 3:34Tom Segura?

  I go, Tommy, what kind of question is that?

• 3:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know.

• 3:37Tom Segura?

  And I go, what?

• 3:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 3:38Tom Segura?

  He goes, I don't like that shit. And I go, it's meat. It's Korean barbecue. It's like ribs and shit. He was like, oh, no, I'm good.

• 3:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  But he also didn't like Italian food.

• 3:52Tom Segura?

  That was crazy.

• 3:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  Which is, like, your dad didn't like a lot of stuff that most of humanity enjoys.

• 3:56Tom Segura?

  You know who's a good actor? Joe Pesky.

• 3:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  Joe Pesky.

• 4:02Tom Segura?

  Yeah, he's good. Have you ever heard his name said that way?

• 4:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  Joe Pesky.

• 4:08Tom Segura?

  Bothered me so much.

• 4:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Like, he-

• 4:10Tom Segura?

  I was thinking about it last night.

• 4:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  That was like 30 years ago.

• 4:14Tom Segura?

  It's like, but it's one of those things, like, you're, you're, you go through your life, somebody passes, you have your grief.

• 4:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 4:22Tom Segura?

  And then there's things that still stick with you. And last night, I was like, who the fuck says Joe Pesky?

• 4:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  Sanity.

• 4:30Tom Segura?

  Yeah, it was so crazy to me.

• 4:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  It isn't, he, he would mispronounce a lot of things.

• 4:35Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 4:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wasn't there other actors and other pedophile? He would say, that guy's a pedophile. And like, he just had a different, I mean, my parents-

• 4:44Tom Segura?

  I know, I remember that.

• 4:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  He was even foreign.

• 4:45Tom Segura?

  I mean, you know, one time he said that to me, he goes, the P, well, it goes, that with feet? And he goes, no, it's the kids. I go, oh, you mean?

• 4:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 4:54Tom Segura?

  Oh, right, right. Yeah, yeah. He was like, yeah, yeah. I go, why are you saying that like that? You want to get something at the buffet?

• 5:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  I love, I still say buffet from him.

• 5:03Tom Segura?

  The buffet?

• 5:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  I love the buffet.

• 5:05Tom Segura?

  We were in Washington, which is something that other people say too.

• 5:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Washington's very common. So Ellis, our son, we adopted a cat from a cat cafe here in Austin. The Perfecto Cat Lounge, shout out to them because the woman owns it's lovely and they rescue cats and rehabilitate them and you can, you know.

• 5:23Tom Segura?

  Yeah, especially if they committed a crime, they're like, give them a second chance.

• 5:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  So true. Anyway, he didn't know, he called it the cat buffet.

• 5:32Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 5:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  And I was, I didn't correct him because I'm like, technically it is.

• 5:35Tom Segura?

  It's kind of a cat buffet in here.

• 5:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  A cat buffet.

• 5:37Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 5:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  Which was adorable. Cat buffet. Anyway, we have so much to get into. First of all, just an update.

• 5:44Tom Segura?

  Heavy episode.

• 5:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  Why I'm looking still.

• 5:46Tom Segura?

  Oh, yeah.

• 5:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  So I got the staples out of my head. Which is great because I was really freaking me out. And turns out they do use a tool. They put it, it's like a staple remover from like Home Depot. But it opens the staple under the skin and then they pull it out. It was, it, it hurt.

• 6:05Tom Segura?

  Your look is evolving. You were the Hamburglar last week. And today.

• 6:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  What is this?

• 6:12Tom Segura?

  You kind of look like a crypto millionaire, a little bit like, like somebody who's, um, you know, doing things that are kind of shady, but making money doing them.

• 6:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  Cool.

• 6:22Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 6:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, thanks, Josh Zolo, for procuring this special Bauhaus hat.

• 6:26Tom Segura?

  Very cool.

• 6:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  I don't usually wear caps because I don't like how they make my ears look. I have big ears.

• 6:31Tom Segura?

  What are you fucking 70? Ball cap. You got a, you got a ball cap on your head?

• 6:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Guys, my parents never said, you know, it's ball cap. I don't know. Sun visor. You told me it was wrong. And then chewing gum.

• 6:41Tom Segura?

  Wearing a cap is like what someone from the 1930s would say.

• 6:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  What is this?

• 6:45Tom Segura?

  A hat?

• 6:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's a cap. It's a baseball cap.

• 6:48Tom Segura?

  Okay.

• 6:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  Any?

• 6:50Tom Segura?

  I mean, you know, technically, yeah, it's a cap. Technically.

• 6:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  He doesn't side with me on this one. Well, guys, sorry. Okay, growing up, my family didn't wear this stuff. I don't know what this shit's called.

• 7:01Tom Segura?

  Sun visor?

• 7:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  A sun visor, chewing gum.

• 7:04Tom Segura?

  Chewing gum.

• 7:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  Chewing gum and then baseball cap.

• 7:09Tom Segura?

  Okie dokie.

• 7:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  Anyway, sorry, update staples are out.

• 7:12Tom Segura?

  Staples are out.

• 7:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  Uh, stitches are out.

• 7:14Tom Segura?

  Faces coming together?

• 7:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  Faces coming together. It's still bruised and I'm not allowed to wear makeup yet. So when I can wear makeup, I will debut these eyes. And I'll tell you something, you're gonna like the way I look. I guarantee it.

• 7:24Tom Segura?

  You guarantee it, yeah. Um, so you went through, I got jealous that you got, you know, so much work done and you're looking younger. So I'm on a water fast.

• 7:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  I, this is incredibly torturous that you're doing. And tell them for how long?

• 7:39Tom Segura?

  Five days.

• 7:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know, I'm like.

• 7:41Tom Segura?

  Uh, I have to point this out to some of the, I would say the challenged folks out there.

• 7:50Tom Segura?

  It doesn't mean I'm going five days without water, which is what some people, they were like, that's crazy. You can die if you don't have water for five days. I'm like, no, no, it's only water. It's only water. Uh, you're allowed to have black coffee.

• 8:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh.

• 8:02Tom Segura?

  Um, water with salt. You can have some sugar free electrolytes. So I'm doing those things.

• 8:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  The water with salt is great.

• 8:10Tom Segura?

  Mm hmm.

• 8:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  Cause it's gonna make you shit. That'll make you shit.

• 8:13Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 8:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'm pretty sure. But you know what? You're like one of these yogis. That's what they do in India when you, you, you know, you meditate. Are you meditating?

• 8:22Tom Segura?

  Um.

• 8:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  You should really use this time to do psychedelic drugs and meditate. I'm serious. You're gonna have like epiphanies, bro.

• 8:29Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 8:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  Ride the snake, ride the wave.

• 8:31Tom Segura?

  See where I'm at right now. I am at, um, it was thirty six, thirty seven, eight, thirty. I'm at forty hours?

• 8:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  How do you feel?

• 8:41Tom Segura?

  I'm hungry. Like, I'm not like freaking out. I just, um, this thing keeps happening. I told you yesterday. Where like you're, you've kind of lose your thought about it and then you. Feel hungry and you see something like, oh, there's a snack, like a protein bar. Oh, I should eat that. I'm hungry. And then I'm like, oh, I'm doing it. Like, I forget that I'm fasting.

• 9:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah. And have you had any like epiphanies or like realizations in your hunger?

• 9:08Tom Segura?

  No, everyone who's told me to is they're like, they, most people told me that two, days two to three are like the worst. And that everybody has, well, I was just saying, everybody, but a lot of people have told me that getting into day four is where you really feel good. I don't know.

• 9:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  And do you have, do you lose your train of thought? Cause when I'm hungry, I can't think.

• 9:27Tom Segura?

  Yeah, I've been losing focus. I'm not like super agitated, but you know, you want to eat, man.

• 9:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  Grumpy. I'm really proud of you because normally in our like everyday life, like you wake up and you have to eat right away. Otherwise you're an angry bear. You've been really harnessing your bear. I don't know how you're doing it.

• 9:47Tom Segura?

  Yeah. It's good that I have so much going on. I think being focused, trying to be busy on things is good. Yeah.

• 9:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  So exciting. Well, I'm excited for you. You're probably gonna lose like 80 pounds because, well, how many, that's like a lot. You're gonna lose so much weight.

• 10:01Tom Segura?

  I don't think it'll be that dramatic. I lost three pounds from yesterday to today.

• 10:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  Just shitting in water and stuff?

• 10:06Tom Segura?

  I guess, yeah.

• 10:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  Have you been shitting like crazy?

• 10:10Tom Segura?

  No, not yet. But also I was, I was, I thought that was, I was like, oh, I guess I'm not having that. And like I mentioned it today and people were like, oh no, it's coming.

• 10:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Is it just because your body is, is just relaxed? Like it's not digesting and?

• 10:25Tom Segura?

  I don't know the science behind it.

• 10:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  Will you look up why during a fast, you shit everything out of you? Like, is it just like your bodies are, it's all, your body's all, hey dude, we're bit, we don't have stuff to do right now?

• 10:36Tom Segura?

  That's an interesting way of wording it. Why don't you type it just like that? How come your body's like, oh shit, there's all this shit coming out?

• 10:44Tom Segura?

  Diarrhea during fasting, while not experienced by everyone, can be linked to several factors, including the body's response to the lack of food, changes in bowel movements, and po- potential dehydration.

• 10:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh.

• 10:54Tom Segura?

  Sudden introduction of food during refeeding also trigger it. Well, that makes sense, the, when you, when you eat again. But when you're fasting, I don't understand why it happens. Fasting can slow down the gastrocolic reflex, which is the body's natural response to food entering the stomach by triggering a bowel movement. When you suddenly break a fast, well, that's breaking the fast.

• 11:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  Bro, we need to go and get you some pancakes, waffles.

• 11:19Tom Segura?

  That's the way to do it. Everyone said-

• 11:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  Cinnamon rolls, dude.

• 11:22Tom Segura?

  When you break the fast, they go, "Go hard. Eat a lot of sugar, a lot of carbs." Yeah, that's what I'm saying, a lot of fat.

• 11:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, our, my first post colonoscopy meal was a cinnamon roll. Remember that, dude? It was so good.

• 11:35Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 11:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  I love that shit.

• 11:38Tom Segura?

  Yeah, me too, man.

• 11:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's so good.

• 11:40Tom Segura?

  I like that shit too.

• 11:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  That was a fucking, hold on, dude. It was a fucking cinnamon roll, like, waffle.

• 11:46Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 11:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  Super Texas fatty treat.

• 11:49Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 11:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  And then, you know, eggs and fucking hollandaise sauce and shit. Can I tell you the best thing I heard when I was in my oncologist's office?

• 11:57Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 11:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  This is where people get chemotherapy. So I'm in the waiting room with people who are waiting to get chemotherapy to treat their active cancer. And I hear this family talking. And the person who's clearly sick is like, "Let's go get some, uh, deep fried pork chops after this. There's a place where you can get deep fried pork chops." And I'm like, "Really? You're, you have cancer."

• 12:21Tom Segura?

  I know. But you could tell you something.

• 12:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  You're gonna do that?

• 12:24Tom Segura?

  I actually regret that when my dad was alive and sick, that I would get irritated by his-

• 12:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  That he wasn't being healthy.

• 12:33Tom Segura?

  His food choices. Cause looking back on it, I was like-

• 12:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's already-

• 12:37Tom Segura?

  Yeah, he's dying. Like, just let him, you know what I mean? Cause I would be like, "Really?" And he was like, "What?" I go, "I mean, is this a good thing to have right now?" And he was like-

• 12:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  Don't, but you know what, though? You were good with him because I remember the, the last trip you guys took.

• 12:55Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 12:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  You, we ordered him a bacon cheeseburger and he was super-

• 12:57Tom Segura?

  No, we, I know, I ordered him a lot of stuff.

• 12:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 13:00Tom Segura?

  But even like by like the third day when he was like leaving, I was like, "Hey, man, can I just talk to you about like what you're eating, though?" And he was like, "What's that?" And I was like, "I mean, don't you think you should be-"

• 13:11Tom Segura?

  Maybe being a little more cautious about what you eat.

• 13:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know. I know what you're saying.

• 13:16Tom Segura?

  Yeah, I think if somebody is sick like that, you should just let them eat.

• 13:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, like if you're not terminal.

• 13:23Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 13:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  And you want to live.

• 13:25Tom Segura?

  Uh.

• 13:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Right?

• 13:26Tom Segura?

  No.

• 13:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  Just still eat the pork, deep fried pork chops?

• 13:29Tom Segura?

  Let people eat what they want to eat. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's my realization from it.

• 13:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know.

• 13:35Tom Segura?

  That's what this fastest taught me.

• 13:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  No.

• 13:37Tom Segura?

  Let people eat what they want to eat.

• 13:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  You know, and I think Lena Dunham shares your philosophy.

• 13:41Tom Segura?

  Here we go. Let's open the show.

• 13:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Let's open the show.

• 13:44Speaker 04

  You're the most ignorant fucking whore that I've ever met. Yeah. I need to do anything to you. Fuck you.

• 13:55Speaker 04

  Fuck you. I bought you three drinks and as soon as you got the Hennessy in you, you went fucking ballistic on taking it out on every man in the fucking world. Fuck you. Fuck you.

• 14:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's cool clip.

• 14:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  So rad.

• 14:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wow.

• 14:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  Make me feel good inside. Mom, cigar. I gotta get my phone.

• 14:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  Your sister.

• 14:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  This is, this is amazing.

• 14:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, it's still playing. Jesus Christ. This is a long.

• 15:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  Anyway, this is the difference between mom life and dad life. I always gotta keep my phone with me just in case something's up with the kids.

• 15:10Speaker 01

  Oh, right, right.

• 15:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  And also, we left our kids with your sister today. And she's not used to the full force of our sons in the pool. Come on, Joe!

• 15:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's what she's gonna be saying to them in about 30 minutes. She's like, "I can't take this shit anymore." You know, believe it or not, there may have been a time in my life where I had a little problem with online shopping. I may have spent too much. It happens. And between juggling bills, tracking your spending, and planning for the future, it's hard to keep track of where all of your money is going. That's where Monarch Money comes in. It's more than just a budgeting app. Think of it like your on-call CFO. Monarch is a full financial command center where you can track your accounts, investments, and goals without the stress. Our listeners can begin building wealth with 50% off their first year on Monarch.

• 16:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  I love Monarch because you can actually see where your money is going. It allows you to track things, know where it's, how much you're paying on your bills, maybe how much you're spending on your online shopping. And it really helped me wrangle in my spending. You can manage individual and shared accounts, set goals with a partner, and even loop in a financial advisor at no extra cost. Over 1 million households use Monarch to simplify money, reduce financial tension, and actually start building wealth. It's even been named the Wall Street Journal's Best Budgeting App of 2025. Get control of your overall finances with Monarch Money.

• 16:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  Use code YMH at monarchmoney.com in your browser for half off your first year. That's 50% off your first year at monarchmoney.com with code YMH.

• 16:58Tom Segura?

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• 17:18Tom Segura?

  Begin to tell you how much I love this product. I take it every day. I consider it a vitamin. I know it's not, but to me, it's just part of my routine. And you deserve the opportunity to feel what I feel. Guys, this isn't about performance. This is about legacy or third legacy. Give her group chat something to talk about. You know, when you lay it down, they're talking about how it gets up. Nothing makes you more of a legend than a little BlueChew. Discover your options at bluechew.com. We've got a special deal for our listeners. As always, get your first month of BlueChew free. Just use the promo code YMH at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping.

• 18:03Tom Segura?

  That's it. Join BlueChew's mission to upgrade humanity one thrust at a time. Head to bluechew.com for details and safety information. And big thanks to BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast. I'm hard right now. Uh, this guy's pretty rad though, right?

• 18:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, he's the coolest.

• 18:20Speaker 04

  Fuck you. That's why you're a liar. Cause you're a-

• 18:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's right.

• 18:27Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 18:28Speaker 04

  And Sydney, I apologize. I really wanted to talk to you. I wanted to ask you out to dinner, but you're a fucking liar.

• 18:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 18:43Tom Segura?

  The way he looked at that camera at the end right here, it makes me think he set it up.

• 18:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 18:47Tom Segura?

  Like he was like, I'm gonna put my camera here so I can get myself saying fuck you to Sydney.

• 18:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  And I think he's right. I think you're right.

• 18:54Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 18:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  And I like the, this, I don't, I don't do this enough.

• 18:58Tom Segura?

  Yeah, this isn't, this is-

• 18:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  I feel like this is so good.

• 19:01Tom Segura?

  Yeah, that's a really good one.

• 19:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  Fuck you, man. It really- Yeah.

• 19:06Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 19:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  God, I love places when they have multiple TVs.

• 19:09Tom Segura?

  Love it.

• 19:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's so cool. Cause it's-

• 19:11Tom Segura?

  Yeah, dude. Loud. I like a lot of loud, like different noises, different voices going on. It's fun.

• 19:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, I wanna watch all the games at once.

• 19:20Tom Segura?

  Everything. Yeah, yeah. Have some nature shit going on. I wanna see some fucking cricket from India. I want it all on TV. It's great.

• 19:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  I wish it were that interesting.

• 19:31Speaker 04

  You're the most ignorant fucking cop that I've ever met.

• 19:34Tom Segura?

  That's wild. Really?

• 19:36Speaker 04

  I didn't do anything to you. Fuck you.

• 19:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh yeah, he's so proud of himself. You're right.

• 19:43Speaker 04

  I bought you three drinks and as soon as you got the Hennessy in you.

• 19:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  What did he say? I fucked you.

• 19:48Tom Segura?

  I bought you three drinks and as soon as you got the Hennessy in you. So his, he's kind of like just resentful of the fact, honestly, that he bought her three drinks.

• 19:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  A hundred percent and she's not in him. It's the same thing where the guy's like, you're hot and you're like, get away. And he's like, fuck you bitch.

• 20:01Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 20:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's, it's just the same old story.

• 20:03Tom Segura?

  Literally, you're a fucking cop. You're the most ignorant cop I've ever met in my life.

• 20:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  And can I tell you, I don't.

• 20:10Tom Segura?

  Oh, hold on. Here's, here's, uh, here's Bertrand. I think he's on set on his show. We have to say hi.

• 20:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh.

• 20:16Tom Segura?

  Hello? Oh, somebody's in, somebody got makeup.

• 20:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Let me see.

• 20:21Tom Segura?

  I will.

• 20:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, hi Bert.

• 20:26Tom Segura?

  How's it going, buddy?

• 20:27Speaker 01

  How you guys doing?

• 20:28Tom Segura?

  Good. Day one?

• 20:29Speaker 01

  It's good. First day of, uh, first day of shooting.

• 20:31Tom Segura?

  Great, man. I'm happy for you. You look good.

• 20:35Speaker 01

  Here, Leanne, tell them what I look like. Here, hold on. This is my outfit.

• 20:39Tom Segura?

  Oh, sorry. Wrong way, wrong way. Hi, Leanne. Hello, guys. That is real cool.

• 20:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  Whoa. He looks awesome.

• 20:50Tom Segura?

  Wow, you look really cool, man.

• 20:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  I like your shorts, Bert. Looks adorable.

• 20:57Tom Segura?

  Are they, are you playing a sex symbol? Cause I'm feeling it.

• 21:04Speaker 01

  What are you guys doing?

• 21:04Tom Segura?

  We're doing a podcast, man. We're just recording right now.

• 21:08Speaker 01

  Oh, you're on, you're doing a podcast right now?

• 21:10Tom Segura?

  Right now, yeah.

• 21:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  We're doing your mom's house.

• 21:11Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 21:12Speaker 01

  Oh, nice, nice, nice.

• 21:15Tom Segura?

  Well, look.

• 21:16Speaker 01

  I'm sitting in my stand-ins.

• 21:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Where are you filming?

• 21:19Tom Segura?

  He's in Atlanta. What's up? How you doing?

• 21:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  Hey Bert.

• 21:24Speaker 01

  I'm losing you.

• 21:24Tom Segura?

  Yeah, I'm losing you.

• 21:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Bert, you gotta see my eye work. I had a, I had a brow lift and an eye work done. Can you tell him?

• 21:32Speaker 01

  No shit. Are you serious?

• 21:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  It looks so good. Wait until you see my eyes. I look 25 years younger.

• 21:36Speaker 01

  Now, listen, when I come to Austin, I need to get all this dead. Black skin off my face.

• 21:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, yeah, I'll help you.

• 21:42Tom Segura?

  Yeah, I mean, that's.

• 21:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  What's dead black?

• 21:44Speaker 01

  I was kissing Leanne with makeup on and she goes, oh, my God, you look so young. And I went, oh.

• 21:49Tom Segura?

  Yeah, you did, because you're, you do look young right now.

• 21:53Speaker 01

  I know I look young as shit.

• 21:54Tom Segura?

  You know what you should start doing? Wearing makeup every day.

• 22:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's so cool.

• 22:01Tom Segura?

  Just wear makeup more.

• 22:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  Snatcher.

• 22:04Tom Segura?

  All right. Have a great shoot, man. I'll talk to you later.

• 22:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  Have fun, Bert. Congrats.

• 22:08Tom Segura?

  All right. Love you too. All right.

• 22:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's so sweet that he calls you.

• 22:11Tom Segura?

  Well, I call, I sent him a message to have a great shoot.

• 22:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's his first day shooting?

• 22:15Tom Segura?

  Today's the first day shooting his series, yeah.

• 22:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, my God. That's so cool. He's so happy. You guys are both just like crushing it right now. I mean, I heard you announce it on Two Bears, you're shooting your movie.

• 22:27Tom Segura?

  Mm hmm.

• 22:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  And in New Mexico.

• 22:29Tom Segura?

  Yep.

• 22:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  In Ju Mexico pretty soon.

• 22:31Tom Segura?

  I know, I think, um, maybe by the time this episode comes out, they'll announce some of the cast. It's, uh.

• 22:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, my God. I'm so fucking pumped for you, babe. This is so funny. It's gonna be fantastic. And I'm, you know, looking forward to being in Albuquerque with the kids.

• 22:48Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 22:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  All right, I want to die. Anyway, I was gonna say that I respected him until I saw what he's drinking, which is like hard lemonade.

• 22:56Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 22:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  Which is like, isn't that the drink of pedophiles? Mike's Hard Lemonade?

• 23:01Tom Segura?

  It's pretty lame.

• 23:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  Isn't that what the guy always brings when he wants to have sex with a minor? In that, those shows?

• 23:08Tom Segura?

  Lot of those, lot of wine coolers, yeah.

• 23:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wine cooler. He's drinking like a 12 year old girl. What man drinks wine coolers?

• 23:18Tom Segura?

  It's really bad.

• 23:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's not acceptable.

• 23:20Tom Segura?

  It's also, I'll tell you who drinks, a guy who thinks it's okay to walk up to a bar and be like, you fucking cunt. Like, that's. It's not okay.

• 23:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  I love this shit.

• 23:33Tom Segura?

  I hate to jump around.

• 23:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 23:35Tom Segura?

  But I'm so excited to show you something that I saw.

• 23:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, I'm fucking stoked.

• 23:39Tom Segura?

  One of our favorites, like, one of the absolute, you know, best that we ever featured on this show.

• 23:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 23:49Tom Segura?

  Is this guy.

• 23:49Speaker 05

  Hanging out with losers.

• 23:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 23:51Tom Segura?

  Right?

• 23:52Speaker 05

  Wasting your time with people that mean nothing to you.

• 23:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, correct.

• 23:54Speaker 06

  Show me your friends and I'll show you your future.

• 23:58Speaker 05

  That's one of your top, top three.

• 24:00Speaker 06

  It is.

• 24:00Speaker 05

  Three pieces.

• 24:01Speaker 06

  Show me your friends and I show you your future. You wanna know why you're all fucked up? Just look at the fucking bums you hang around with.

• 24:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's my dad.

• 24:09Tom Segura?

  There you go. That's pretty good.

• 24:11Speaker 06

  This is why you're fucking poor.

• 24:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  I can do it all day.

• 24:16Tom Segura?

  Yeah, it's pretty great, right?

• 24:17Speaker 06

  You're a cool guy, not me.

• 24:19Tom Segura?

  Yeah. You know, this, he had so many great ones, right?

• 24:23Speaker 06

  Do you realize the rest of the world laced us?

• 24:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yes.

• 24:28Speaker 06

  Do you realize the Russians think we're all fat?

• 24:32Speaker 06

  Do you realize most of the East have a fucking secret?

• 24:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, he's right.

• 24:37Speaker 06

  Cause we are.

• 24:40Speaker 06

  We're embarrassed with the humanity.

• 24:43Tom Segura?

  And then, so, you know, Dan Pena, I'm just doing that so people know, you know, we started playing these guys' clips years ago, and then we had him on the podcast.

• 24:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  Bro, and then we had lunch with him.

• 24:52Tom Segura?

  We had lunch with him once. Haven't seen him in years, haven't talked to him in years. And I'm going into my folder, just looking at what's in here for the show, and I see Dan Pena, I'm like, I haven't seen Dan, dude.

• 25:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  What?

• 25:08Speaker 06

  I'll do whatever it takes.

• 25:09Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 25:11Speaker 06

  Well, that means something different to me. It means something different to guys like Hitler. Why do I have Hitler's picture in the, behind my desk? Cause arguably the best salesman that ever lived. How do you get sixty, seventy, eighty million people to genocide ten million people? Either those ten million people had to do something terrible, which wasn't the case, or you gotta be a slick motherfucker. I mean, and he was, okay?

• 25:40Tom Segura?

  And that's why I have his picture behind my desk.

• 25:45Tom Segura?

  I, I mean, I don't know that I've ever heard somebody be like,

• 25:52Tom Segura?

  as well, I took, my kids and I, we, uh, went to the Bahamas, so that's what that is there. That's when I got married, it's a golf trip, one of my friends, we went to, we played Pebble Beach.

• 26:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  I, I love Pebble Beach, yeah, that's a great.

• 26:04Tom Segura?

  This Hitler, uh, sale, sale, crazy salesman, probably the best salesman.

• 26:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Uh, what, were you related to him, or why is he on your?

• 26:13Tom Segura?

  This is Morocco, we went to Morocco. It's fucking wild.

• 26:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Babe, and it's not just on his family, it's behind his desk.

• 26:22Tom Segura?

  Behind the desk.

• 26:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  Like, that's where you sit.

• 26:24Tom Segura?

  That's where you put like your primo photographs. Oh.

• 26:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, this guy?

• 26:29Tom Segura?

  Oh, I met Bill Belichick, so I got his photo. There's, you know, he won a bunch of Super Bowls. Pretty cool.

• 26:35Speaker 06

  It means something different to guys like Hitler.

• 26:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, I wish we could Photoshop a picture with like Hitler's arm around him and with like a note.

• 26:43Tom Segura?

  Like a thumbs up?

• 26:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  Thumbs up, your friend.

• 26:45Speaker 06

  Arguably the best salesman that ever lived.

• 26:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  I mean, look, is he logically correct?

• 26:50Tom Segura?

  I get where, I know what he's trying to say. It's just an interesting choice. You know what I mean? Like, it's an interesting choice.

• 26:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  You know, and normally I don't, well, you don't, put it this way. Some of the best people we love creatively were bad people in real life. But Hitler was a bad person in his job, too. So I don't think we can separate the man from the.

• 27:12Tom Segura?

  What's up with that?

• 27:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  Talent. You know what I'm saying?

• 27:14Tom Segura?

  What's up with that Hitler photo?

• 27:18Tom Segura?

  Oh, well, I have it for like sales reasons.

• 27:23Tom Segura?

  It's the salesmanship is what I'm into. Cause you know, I sell things. Oh, you're thinking, no, no, no, not that.

• 27:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  Not that guy.

• 27:33Tom Segura?

  It's just, you know, guy was fucking slick, man.

• 27:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's just a cool guy.

• 27:36Tom Segura?

  Just a real fucking cool guy.

• 27:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  Did I ever tell you, this is beautiful, thank you.

• 27:49Tom Segura?

  By the way, so this is a deep tissue calf massage. There is no, there's a 0.0% chance that that is making him better. That is not helping him at all.

• 28:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  Screaming, I know. Can I tell you what, one time, speaking of Hitler portrait, like, you ever date somebody? And then you go back to their home and their decor, like, there's just something where you go, I can't do this. I'm out. So there was this guy who I thought this was gonna be potential. I was young.

• 28:24Tom Segura?

  Really? Yeah.

• 28:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, yeah, I was young. And handsome, talented, bright future, like, really, really cool. And I was like, all right, dude, I think this is gonna happen. We go out for launch. And he's like, you wanna go back and see my apartment, my house? He actually had a house. And I was like, yeah, cool. So I go back to the house and I go after use the restroom. I use the restroom and on the toilet are about fifty or sixty figurines. Like Star Wars figurines.

• 28:58Tom Segura?

  Mm hmm.

• 28:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  And then I was like, all right, I think I'm out. And then I go, I just peek into his room. I'm like, I wonder what the bedroom's like if there's Star Wars on the toilet. Life-size cutout Chewbacca.

• 29:11Tom Segura?

  And that was it.

• 29:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  At the foot of the bed. And I was like, I'm done.

• 29:13Tom Segura?

  At the foot of the bed.

• 29:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  At the foot of the bed. So like.

• 29:16Tom Segura?

  I'm surprised you like chicks. It's not, it's not like chick bait.

• 29:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Exactly.

• 29:21Tom Segura?

  How old were you?

• 29:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  Twenty something, like literally just getting out of college, maybe last year of college.

• 29:28Tom Segura?

  Hmm.

• 29:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  Very young.

• 29:30Tom Segura?

  In LA? So he's in LA?

• 29:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  No.

• 29:32Tom Segura?

  Oh.

• 29:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  I don't want to say, I don't want to give away too many details, but.

• 29:35Tom Segura?

  You think everyone's gonna be like, oh, I know the Chewbacca guy.

• 29:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  I mean, I don't know. Fuck, I'm afraid to like.

• 29:40Tom Segura?

  They're like, soon as she said Boston, Fred.

• 29:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  I don't know.

• 29:44Tom Segura?

  Okay.

• 29:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, look, you know, I don't know.

• 29:46Tom Segura?

  No, I know.

• 29:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  I've known the same people for thirty, forty years. I've been friends with the same people. They know who I'm referring to. So this isn't our friend group, you understand?

• 29:55Tom Segura?

  Oh, yeah, I got you.

• 29:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  But that was.

• 29:57Tom Segura?

  And so, wait, how did you handle the dip out? How'd you dip?

• 30:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  I mean, no, I was polite. I, I then, so then the other thing is, he's like, you want to watch something? And then he shows me like a cartoony thing.

• 30:08Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 30:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  And I was like, all right.

• 30:09Tom Segura?

  I thought he was gonna be like, you want to watch something? And you're like, let me guess, Star Wars? And he's like, how'd you know?

• 30:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  Exactly.

• 30:15Tom Segura?

  Yeah, I love that movie. And you're like, no shit.

• 30:17Christina Pazsitzky?

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• 30:58Christina Pazsitzky?

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• 31:41Christina Pazsitzky?

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• 32:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  AI-enhanced website builder, Blueprint AI, your website will be bringing in business in no time. With a full library of website templates, cutting-edge design tools, and beautiful styling options, Squarespace really helps bring your vision to life. Head to Squarespace.com/mom for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. But it was just too much. It was too childish. And I was like, you know, I gotta go with my friends, because I was, I was visiting this town.

• 32:52Tom Segura?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  I wasn't living there anymore, so I was visiting. Yeah, but that was, that, that can deter one. Could you imagine walking into a Dan Pena's house?

• 33:01Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 33:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  And you're like, this guy's a millionaire. He lives in a castle. And then he's like, and this, this is my desk.

• 33:07Tom Segura?

  And you're like, hey, you know who that looks like?

• 33:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  It is, it is.

• 33:11Tom Segura?

  Oh.

• 33:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  Doesn't look like.

• 33:14Tom Segura?

  Is there a reason?

• 33:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  It is the guy.

• 33:16Tom Segura?

  That you have it?

• 33:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Fucking hell.

• 33:19Tom Segura?

  Well, speaking of this world you're talking about hooking up and whatnot, you see this clip? It's pretty exciting.

• 33:24Speaker 07

  I'm like sounding very cocky here, but I think it's because I have found this freedom in my 40s where I'm like, oh my God, so I just want to say this in perspective. I've probably had three one night stands in my entire life.

• 33:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay.

• 33:37Speaker 07

  Uh, but I did just recently [BLEEP] 26 year old and it was really [BLEEP] amazing.

• 33:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  [BLEEP] Yeah.

• 33:43Speaker 07

  Yes, and I've never done that. And I was like, oh, this is great. Okay.

• 33:47Tom Segura?

  Okay, okay. I get what this is now. It's like,

• 33:53Tom Segura?

  I'm like, this is okay. And now the girl's like, yes.

• 33:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh my God, fuck it. Awesome. This type of girl.

• 34:00Tom Segura?

  It's the worst.

• 34:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  I can't, like I, it's my kryptonite.

• 34:05Tom Segura?

  Dude, go for it. That's so cool.

• 34:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's so awesome.

• 34:08Tom Segura?

  The funny thing that I always find about clips like this, like chicks do this, right? And they're like, go for it. And then they say, like, this is the, this is the, uh, the mental gymnastics of this bit. Like they'll say, why isn't it okay?

• 34:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know.

• 34:24Tom Segura?

  For her. And you're like, oh, yeah, she can.

• 34:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  She can. Just shut up. Don't tell people.

• 34:28Tom Segura?

  And then when the guy does it, then they flip on it and they go, you're a pig.

• 34:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  You're a piece of shit. Yeah.

• 34:34Tom Segura?

  Right? And like, you're not supposed to do that, but for the woman, now you have to like celebrate.

• 34:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, here's the diff. Here's the diff. I don't know how this, how that girl would react to a 49 year old saying, I had a one night stand with a 26 year old.

• 34:49Tom Segura?

  It was fantastic.

• 34:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  I think what's gross, like Star Slay, literally, is when the older guy marries the 20 year old.

• 34:57Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 34:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  So I don't think Charlize is marrying and destroying and being gross there.

• 35:03Tom Segura?

  Of course not.

• 35:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  So like, I think that's the diff. I think just banging, like I don't, I think Leonardo DiCaprio and how he conducts his personal life is 100% on the level. Fantastic.

• 35:14Tom Segura?

  Yeah, great.

• 35:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  You catch and you release, you bang her until she's what, 28?

• 35:18Tom Segura?

  25. Fucking 20 is disgusting.

• 35:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Geriatric.

• 35:21Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 35:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  So I know what you're saying. There's a double, there is a double standard because they, we go ew.

• 35:26Tom Segura?

  It's like a double, reverse double standard. You know what I mean?

• 35:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  We go ew.

• 35:30Tom Segura?

  Yeah, so like.

• 35:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  You know why? Because fucking an older guy to a younger girl is gross. Because I can picture what that body looks like.

• 35:39Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 35:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  She's smoke, she's still smoking.

• 35:41Tom Segura?

  Charlize? Yeah.

• 35:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  She looks great. Her body's, her face, everything's together.

• 35:46Tom Segura?

  Okay.

• 35:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  So her fucking a twenty something.

• 35:48Tom Segura?

  I see what this is now, like, yeah.

• 35:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  Too gross. I love when you da, ga.

• 35:52Tom Segura?

  Like, that's the thing was, like, everybody's saying, like, whatever. And I was like, huh.

• 35:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh my god, really?

• 35:59Tom Segura?

  Like, I fucked this guy, he's like twenty six. I was like, yes, I, like, it was fantastic. And then the other girl has to go like.

• 36:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  I love that.

• 36:07Tom Segura?

  I love that for you.

• 36:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  I love that for you.

• 36:08Tom Segura?

  I love that you figured that out. It's like, do you, you know, I'm sex positive. Like, this thing is like, all this sex shaming. It's like, so, like, whatever. It's like, fuck who you wanna fuck? And like, if you enjoy it, like, good for you.

• 36:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'm body positive, I'm everything positive.

• 36:23Tom Segura?

  But do you give that same speech to a guy?

• 36:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, because, but here's why, I'll tell you why. Because historically, men have been able to do that without being shamed.

• 36:33Tom Segura?

  No, I, I know.

• 36:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  You know what I'm saying? So it's new for women, it's new for us.

• 36:37Tom Segura?

  Is it new?

• 36:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, no, no, no, hold on, hold on. I'm just saying it's new for us to be able to just say it out loud. Hey, I'm forty something, I banged a twenty year old. Like Madonna is very open.

• 36:47Tom Segura?

  Yeah, she's been doing that for fucking thirty years.

• 36:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know, but she's also a pariah for it. People call her, oh, she's a fucking whore and this and that.

• 36:53Tom Segura?

  No, I don't think she's a whore.

• 36:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, but she's been.

• 36:55Tom Segura?

  Yeah, labeled that, sure, sure, sure.

• 36:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  Called a slut. But one thing that does make me, that does repulse me is how girls talk like this when she's like, yeah.

• 37:05Tom Segura?

  Yeah. I was like, here's the thing, I want them to keep this same energy when they see this video.

• 37:10Speaker 01

  I'm Ryan, and studies shows that if you're an ass guy, you're more likely to be more faithful to a woman than if you're a titty guy.

• 37:20Speaker 01

  Don't believe me, look it up.

• 37:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, I've heard.

• 37:23Speaker 01

  Ladies, you need an ass, man.

• 37:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's right.

• 37:26Tom Segura?

  See, I just want them to have Ryan on and be like, yes. Oh my God, yes, Ryan.

• 37:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Right. We've heard you on us, man. But I wish I could. I can't get with a run. I'm not an ass girl.

• 37:39Tom Segura?

  Well.

• 37:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  I would love to be.

• 37:40Speaker 01

  I'm Ryan, and to be honest, I just need some head before bed.

• 37:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah. And you know what? You know what she's gonna say?

• 37:47Tom Segura?

  Dude, yes. I said literally, Ryan.

• 37:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yes, you do, girl.

• 37:51Tom Segura?

  Right. I'm so happy you figured that out, that you like head before bed.

• 37:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  Good for you, because so many men are, don't know what they like. And you're aware of your sexuality.

• 38:01Tom Segura?

  Oh, my God. Um.

• 38:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  I think this is why my audience is, uh, male.

• 38:07Tom Segura?

  You think so?

• 38:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, you know, I've always wondered, I'm like, why don't the girls, you know, I'm not one of these female comics that attracts exclusively a female audience.

• 38:16Tom Segura?

  Definitely not.

• 38:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  I think a lot of it is because I'm not as like this. I honestly, I'm not, I wish I were a little more girly. I really do. I think I'm fucked up.

• 38:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'm fucked in the head, Tommy.

• 38:28Tom Segura?

  You know what? We're gonna get a full fucking review of that pretty soon.

• 38:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know. It's not that I don't like women. I love them.

• 38:34Tom Segura?

  Before we break, though.

• 38:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'm just fucking traumatized.

• 38:36Tom Segura?

  We have to bring this up.

• 38:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, yeah.

• 38:39Tom Segura?

  You find, you saw Sinners.

• 38:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Holy shit. Did I fucking see Sinners, bro? Mm-hmm. Do it, Annie. I'm dying.

• 38:48Speaker 08

  Yeah, just listen to the fucking movie. They do it fucking 27 times, bro. Mm-hmm. It's for no reason. I just be driving in the fucking car.

• 38:56Tom Segura?

  I gotta tell you this.

• 38:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  You fucking ruined that movie for me.

• 38:59Speaker 08

  Yeah, you fucking, the movie ruined itself.

• 39:01Tom Segura?

  No.

• 39:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  You ruined it.

• 39:03Speaker 08

  No.

• 39:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  I started watching it, and Tommy, didn't I say it when we started watching it?

• 39:07Tom Segura?

  I watched it again.

• 39:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  Annie fucking destroyed this for me.

• 39:09Tom Segura?

  I watched it again.

• 39:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Fucking dick.

• 39:10Tom Segura?

  I saw it in theaters, and then it was on, you know, available to stream or whatever. So I, I watched it with Christina, and I was like, you're gonna like this movie.

• 39:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  You're gonna like the way it looked.

• 39:20Tom Segura?

  Um, and like, opening, I don't know, two minutes in, and I'm, I'm hearing Annie's bullshit, right?

• 39:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  Me too.

• 39:27Tom Segura?

  I'm hearing this bullshit.

• 39:28Speaker 08

  Yeah, they're bullshit.

• 39:29Tom Segura?

  And then like, two minutes in, it's like you see this shot, and then, you know, the field, and then you hear, mm-hmm. I'm like, god damn it, Annie.

• 39:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, and they're picking cotton. So I'm like, oh, fucking Annie.

• 39:41Speaker 08

  That's what I'm fucking saying. As soon as I saw them. In the movie they're like, this again, bro? Oh my god.

• 39:49Tom Segura?

  Well, it's not this like, I mean, the story is an original story.

• 39:51Speaker 08

  No, no, no.

• 39:52Tom Segura?

  Yes, it is.

• 39:53Speaker 08

  It's the same fucking. It's not.

• 39:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's an original take.

• 39:55Tom Segura?

  It is an original story.

• 39:56Speaker 08

  Black people are bad. Oh my god.

• 39:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, no, no, no. Let me tell you. Let me tell you what the, here's my, I love the story.

• 40:03Tom Segura?

  I still love the movie. I saw it again.

• 40:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  I think it's fantastic. Uh, the scene that troubles you, Annie? I actually thought was beautifully done.

• 40:11Tom Segura?

  She really liked that scene.

• 40:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  I really liked that scene.

• 40:13Tom Segura?

  The music scene, the one that you didn't like.

• 40:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  Fantastic.

• 40:16Speaker 08

  That was just one of the scenes I didn't, I mean, you could point out like, you know, seventy-five scenes.

• 40:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  And I'll tell you who I loved is the door guy.

• 40:22Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 40:22Speaker 08

  Cornbread?

• 40:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  Cornbread.

• 40:24Speaker 08

  Cornbread.

• 40:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  I thought he was so funny when he goes.

• 40:27Tom Segura?

  Wait, you think all the actors are bad too?

• 40:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  Cornbread's amazing.

• 40:29Tom Segura?

  Huh? You think all the act, you don't think the actors are bad?

• 40:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  I love the actors.

• 40:32Speaker 08

  I didn't say that.

• 40:33Tom Segura?

  I know, that's what I'm saying.

• 40:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Corn, and he goes, I like when they're like, where have you been? He's like, it turns out I had to take a shit too. I was laughing so hard. He's got great timing and he's, his face is great to watch.

• 40:43Tom Segura?

  Michael B. Jordan's great.

• 40:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  Fantastic.

• 40:44Tom Segura?

  He's a great actor.

• 40:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  The whole cast crushed. And it was so beautiful. The music was incredible. The story's great. Now, here's my only, it was a tad long, and I do think they wrote two movies in one. Do you know what I mean? I think the movie went here, and then they're like, but we also want to do something different. And I, that's where I kinda, I had to watch it in two sittings, but I watched it and I loved it.

• 41:06Tom Segura?

  I, I enjoyed it. I really enjoyed it. I like that Annie doesn't like it though.

• 41:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  I do too. Wait, so why did you hate it again? Like, refresh?

• 41:14Speaker 08

  Why? I mean, first, I'm just, I'm tired of the mm-hmm shit. I'm tired of fucking seeing niggas on the fucking cotton field picking.

• 41:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  I get sad too. I don't like it.

• 41:23Speaker 08

  Well, man, this is hotter than motherfucker. Oh my god, bro. Can we cut the bullshit? And then, and then, the most, I'd say, maybe the most annoying part is you're right. It's like two fucking movies in one. So like halfway in the movie, they're like, oh yeah, this is a fucking vampire movie. We should probably do that, right? Okay, let's do that. And then they do that. They do that. And the fucking, the graphics, the, like, bro, we're in twenty twenty-five. It should, it should have looked crazy. I should have been scared.

• 41:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  I was scared. I thought it was good.

• 41:50Speaker 08

  It was not. It looked like fucking thriller.

• 41:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  What? Wow.

• 41:55Speaker 08

  Thriller with the red lame eyes. It was horrible.

• 41:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  I loved it. I loved the brothers, uh, Smoke and Stack. I love them.

• 42:02Tom Segura?

  I only feel like I'm not allowed to argue with you about this because you're black. And that's the only reason.

• 42:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  And it's a slavery themed thing.

• 42:09Speaker 08

  No, go ahead.

• 42:09Tom Segura?

  It's not slavery though.

• 42:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, but it's in the time of and and it's a time when black people don't have power and

• 42:16Tom Segura?

  Right, but it's like the nineteen

• 42:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  When is it?

• 42:18Tom Segura?

  Thirties or something, right?

• 42:19Speaker 08

  Yeah, it was like right after slavery, you know?

• 42:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know, but it still makes me sad.

• 42:24Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 42:26Speaker 08

  But somehow they still in the fucking cotton fields.

• 42:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  But you know what I did like too? Asian people with southern accents.

• 42:32Tom Segura?

  Oh, that was cool.

• 42:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  That was fun. You never see that.

• 42:35Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 42:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  I like that.

• 42:36Tom Segura?

  I liked it. I really did like it. I thought it was

• 42:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  Loved it.

• 42:39Tom Segura?

  Super entertaining, original.

• 42:40Speaker 08

  Also, I also thought that the Asian girl being like, "Come on!" Like, that bullshit, that was stupid.

• 42:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  What?

• 42:46Speaker 08

  That didn't make any sense.

• 42:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  What do you mean, "Come on"?

• 42:48Speaker 08

  The fucking, you know, I don't wanna...

• 42:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yes, it does, when she's like, I, that part actually was very pivotal for me. And I like that because that brother had to make a decision right there, and she was right.

• 42:59Tom Segura?

  That brother?

• 43:00Speaker 08

  Brother.

• 43:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  Again.

• 43:01Tom Segura?

  What brother?

• 43:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  The, what, the, what do you, the moment, I think, I think you're a friend in the moment where she says to the brother that's...

• 43:09Tom Segura?

  Oh, oh, okay, you're the twin brothers.

• 43:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  There's twin twins.

• 43:11Tom Segura?

  I thought you meant like the brother, the brother that walked in.

• 43:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  The black guy?

• 43:13Tom Segura?

  That's what I thought you meant too. I thought you meant, I was like, I've never heard Christina be like, "Then this brother came in, you know, the brother with the hat."

• 43:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  And then this female, this other female.

• 43:24Tom Segura?

  Oh, yeah, that's super black too.

• 43:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's super black, they say females.

• 43:27Tom Segura?

  When a female, and I was in my vehicle.

• 43:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  My vehicle.

• 43:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  Tommy, look at the TV.

• 43:33Tom Segura?

  Look at the TV.

• 43:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  They say, "Look at the TV."

• 43:35Tom Segura?

  Where you stay at?

• 43:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, no, no, I meant literally the relations. He had to make a choice, and that was a really cool moment where she snaps him into making a choice. I thought that was interesting.

• 43:47Speaker 08

  Wait, snaps him into making a choice?

• 43:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  You understand, like, he's, he's got to make a choice right there.

• 43:51Speaker 08

  No, but, but she's the one who was like, they only could, you know, come in because she at the end was like...

• 43:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yes.

• 43:57Speaker 08

  Come on!

• 43:58Tom Segura?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 43:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  Cause she was like, "Let's get this shit done."

• 44:00Tom Segura?

  You gotta invite them in.

• 44:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  Let's fucking go, bro. She's a catalyst. I liked it. Listen, Annie, I agree, I agree with you. I don't like seeing...

• 44:07Tom Segura?

  Can I tell you this, though?

• 44:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  I don't like the slavery theme. I get sad. I wish it weren't the theme.

• 44:12Tom Segura?

  I'm just tired of it, man. This is the, but this, I gotta tell you something, though, that is great. That is great about. This is the entire point of art, whether it's a movie, a song, a paint, like it, it is supposed to do this. No, I mean, like that.

• 44:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's polarizing.

• 44:28Tom Segura?

  Polarizing is good, man. It really is. Like having like opposing views on it. This is the fun of movies and, and music and art.

• 44:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  This is a lovely segue into my painting that is still for sale. Fuck around and find out.

• 44:42Tom Segura?

  Yep.

• 44:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'm now going to, because it hasn't sold for 30 grand, I'm now increasing the price to 40 grand.

• 44:49Tom Segura?

  Nice.

• 44:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay, fuck around and find out. Forty thousand US, American dollars. There it is, still for sale.

• 44:56Tom Segura?

  Yep, going up to 40, though.

• 44:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  Also, I would like to point out, you may buy my lipsticks, ChristinaP.com. I have four beautiful shades, beautiful shades.

• 45:06Tom Segura?

  How you like that?

• 45:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  Buy them on my website. I'm wearing the perfect red right now. You're gonna like the way. Something different to guys like Hitler. Okay.

• 45:15Tom Segura?

  So.

• 45:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  This is why you're fucking poor, why you're fucking poor. This is the original for sale, by the way, but by my own little paws, I, I did this, okay? And I'm working on a wonderful piece of Tom right now.

• 45:28Tom Segura?

  Can't wait.

• 45:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's been, I'm learning how to do it and I can't wait to reveal my next creation.

• 45:34Tom Segura?

  Can't wait.

• 45:35Speaker 06

  You realize the Russians think we're all faggots?

• 45:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's true.

• 45:39Tom Segura?

  Let's, uh, let's take a quick break. Um, and when we come back, here's what we're doing. We had discussed this on a previous episode and so we're doing it. We had the entire staff, including ourselves, uh, take psych evaluations, do, um, full written tests. And we are having an expert, um, in the psychology field come in and review how we all did. Uh, give her full assessment. Um, are any of us on the anti-social personality disorder, you know, chart? Are we, um, looking at, uh, personality disorders in general in this place?

• 46:20Tom Segura?

  Uh, are people perhaps narcissistic or any number of things? So she's gonna come in and give us the review and, uh, all I was told is that she got everybody's and she has, uh, a few things to say. That's what I've.

• 46:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  And Josh, what, what did you say you told me when I came in?

• 46:38Speaker 09

  That she's very

• 46:40Speaker 10

  Very surprised by the results, very fascinated by everything that's come through. She has full reports on everyone. Yeah.

• 46:48Tom Segura?

  Wait, all right, let's take a quick break and we'll be right back.

• 46:51Speaker 09

  Take my meds.

• 46:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  Still aroused?

• 46:54Speaker 01

  You have no idea.

• 46:56Tom Segura?

  And we are back and joining us is Dr. Hope Torres, a licensed professional mental health counselor. And we brought her in for reasons that we previously mentioned. Everybody on staff has done written tests for an evaluation. And Dr. Torres, you're here to bring us the results.

• 47:16Speaker 09

  Yes.

• 47:17Tom Segura?

  So first of all, I think everybody participated, which was very nice.

• 47:21Speaker 09

  16.

• 47:22Tom Segura?

  16 people participated. So my, my question for you, having done this many times and looking at this is there's a, a wide spectrum of results, I'm assuming?

• 47:35Speaker 09

  Yeah. And it's, people are low end, there's not a lot of concern and you got some that we, it's called clinically significant. They've got certain indicators that would tell them they probably need to go to counseling.

• 47:47Tom Segura?

  Probably need to go to counseling.

• 47:48Speaker 09

  Medicated, maybe medicines too? Maybe not that, but that, that gets determined over time. So it's concerning to the point where they need to be talking to somebody to untangle whatever wires are crossed at the moment? Yeah, and to sort through whatever they've gone through. Are some wires uncrossable on our staff? That's hard to tell unless you actually sit in sessions with them.

• 48:10Tom Segura?

  Yeah, that makes sense. So, so just so the audience gets a better grasp of what we did, could you explain the tests that people took?

• 48:19Speaker 09

  Yeah, it's pretty much, it's called a personal personality inventory for DSM 5. So it's called PID 5 SF. So what it does is it gives a list of personality characteristics such as depression, anxiety, and the list goes on. And then it also gives your personality disorders. But it's not a diagnosis.

• 48:39Tom Segura?

  It's not a diagnosis.

• 48:40Speaker 09

  So it gives us symptoms that you have that put you in certain categories for risk, but something for us to assess if we're going to, what we're going to dig into in therapy.

• 48:51Tom Segura?

  Right.

• 48:52Speaker 09

  To sort out. Excuse my language, bullshit.

• 48:55Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 48:55Speaker 09

  Of what you've gone through versus if you actually have personality disorder.

• 48:59Tom Segura?

  And just to, um, I just want to inform the audience, uh, you make that a little bigger for me, um, cause I'm old, uh, just to give people an idea of like some of the question, like just some of the-

• 49:09Speaker 09

  A hundred questions.

• 49:10Tom Segura?

  Right. So just leave it there. Um, people's, you know, some of the questions are like, I feel like I act totally on impulse. And then the person taking the test would either, uh, say that that's a very false statement, a somewhat false statement, a sometimes true statement, or a very true statement. And so over the course of these hundred questions, you're answering questions like that with a, with an answer of one of those four answers essentially.

• 49:36Speaker 09

  Yes.

• 49:37Tom Segura?

  And the combination of all these gives you, um, an assessment.

• 49:41Speaker 09

  Yes. And it'll cat, like I said, it categorizes, but it measures everything on different scales. Uh, you know, I typed it into a program, it calculates it.

• 49:48Tom Segura?

  Got it.

• 49:49Speaker 09

  So it shows different types of scales that you're on, what we pay attention to if you have high anxiety, if you have attachment, if you disengage people too much. So it shows, well, example, I can sometimes see where people might actually have ADHD.

• 50:06Tom Segura?

  Right.

• 50:06Speaker 09

  On it for certain things. You can tell sometimes where people might possibly have, um, forms of trauma. Just because certain traits are elevated.

• 50:17Tom Segura?

  I'll tell you this, this is kind of interesting thing, um, that, you know, not that it's completely different from the rest of society, but I think you do, we do find in our world, in the comedy world, a lot of anxiety, depression, uh, disassociation, like there's a lot of mental health issues in, in the comedy world.

• 50:39Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 50:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  And in showbiz in general.

• 50:40Tom Segura?

  In general, yeah. But if you hang out like in the hallway of the comedy store, it's like a fucking mental asylum.

• 50:46Speaker 09

  I would enjoy standing there. No, but I can get that. Just because one thing I've learned is, you know, laughter hides it, you know? I've come through a, from a life that's got a lot of trauma in it. So I understand laughter. I used it a lot just to get through.

• 50:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  Now, let me ask you this question to define terms for the audience and for myself. What is a personality disorder?

• 51:07Speaker 09

  There, it's an alteration in the individual. They, it's going to be specific traits that, let me find the best wording for it.

• 51:17Speaker 09

  It impacts their functioning more than just anxiety. It drives them to... Sorry, I do have ADHD, so my mind will have its moments.

• 51:30Tom Segura?

  It's all good.

• 51:30Speaker 09

  No, but it drives an individual to be different. They're gonna be eccentric at different times. It's gonna be things that it's very hard for them to manage. It's things medication cannot manage.

• 51:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Got you.

• 51:43Tom Segura?

  And they're gonna engage in the world differently.

• 51:45Speaker 09

  They're gonna see the world, it's gonna be an altered perspective.

• 51:48Tom Segura?

  And to give a further example, for instance, to the, to the audience. You know, an example of a personality disorder would be like histrionic.

• 51:57Speaker 09

  Yes, there's histrionic borderline personality disorder, antisocial.

• 52:01Tom Segura?

  And these are all different. Like they're, they vary to degrees, right? And, and there's things that jump out about somebody that makes you go, oh, they're at least, before you can spend a lot of time, they're maybe on this, in this falling under this category.

• 52:17Speaker 09

  Yeah, you're gonna see like borderline personality disorder. They're, the way they see things is very skewed. You know, they fear abandonment. Things are black and white, good and bad, angels and demons. There's no gray area. They can be loving to you one moment, and the next moment, they absolutely hate you. You know, you're gonna have narcissistic personality disorder. It's very hard to get that because people don't admit they have it.

• 52:41Tom Segura?

  Right.

• 52:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, right, because a narcissist won't go, I'm a narcissist.

• 52:45Speaker 09

  No, so you have to almost discover that through sessions if they go to therapy. So it's one of the lower reported ones.

• 52:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  They're not gonna go to therapy.

• 52:52Speaker 09

  Because they're not gonna go, exactly.

• 52:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  And borderlines too, don't they not? Or rather, I've heard that they're so exhausting to treat that most therapists don't wanna engage.

• 53:00Tom Segura?

  Like they can only...

• 53:01Speaker 09

  Yes, I've had a few borderlines, they're very hard to stay with. Some of the things that's very difficult about borderline is it's workable, it's manageable to live life when you, when it develops in adulthood. But when it develops in their teenage years. The outcome's not as good for them. Because it's part of their development. It's in the development of their brain. It's in the development of their behaviors. And one of the things with Warline is the higher suicide rate.

• 53:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  And bipolar too, yeah?

• 53:32Speaker 09

  Yeah, so the one thing is bipolar can also be mixed up or misdiagnosed. Or borderline and bipolar can be misdiagnosed for each other. So that's why this assessment gives you the indicators. So you have to sort out what it really is.

• 53:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's interesting, but bipolar can be medicated.

• 53:51Speaker 09

  Yes.

• 53:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  And regulated.

• 53:53Tom Segura?

  Can you tell me, to begin, let's start with who's doing okay?

• 54:00Speaker 09

  Can you guess who is the first person?

• 54:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  Hold on, hold on. I'm gonna go Tyler.

• 54:06Speaker 09

  No.

• 54:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  No shit. Still waters run deep.

• 54:09Speaker 09

  No, no, he ain't the top.

• 54:11Tom Segura?

  Zolo?

• 54:12Speaker 09

  Zolo.

• 54:12Tom Segura?

  Zolo's good boy.

• 54:14Speaker 09

  Zolo, so you have things that gauge average. They gauge elevated and they gauge clinically significant.

• 54:23Speaker 09

  None of his register, they register below average or right above average.

• 54:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wow, Josh, your parents did good.

• 54:30Speaker 09

  If you were to go to the personality disorder.

• 54:35Speaker 09

  The only two above average is antisocial with psychopathy and narcissism.

• 54:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, I know.

• 54:41Tom Segura?

  But that's just.

• 54:42Speaker 09

  That's it. It's just, those are, so the front of the page.

• 54:45Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 54:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  You're describing the test still. So our buddy Zolo doesn't have psychopathy, narcissism?

• 54:52Speaker 09

  No. Oh, he's got, this is the average scale.

• 54:55Tom Segura?

  So he's below average on everything?

• 54:56Speaker 09

  This is the personality traits.

• 54:57Tom Segura?

  Right.

• 54:58Speaker 09

  Now.

• 54:59Tom Segura?

  So he's doing real well?

• 55:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  Somebody needs to marry him.

• 55:01Speaker 09

  So, and then this is like what the next sheet looks like for the results.

• 55:05Tom Segura?

  Got it. Okay.

• 55:06Speaker 09

  So he's on this scale.

• 55:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  Good job, Josh.

• 55:09Speaker 09

  He did really good and that's his personality disorder one.

• 55:12Tom Segura?

  Okay.

• 55:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wow.

• 55:13Speaker 09

  So he did really good. Second would be Tyler.

• 55:16Tom Segura?

  Tyler.

• 55:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Hey, that's good.

• 55:18Speaker 09

  Yep, and then Tyler scored higher on his negative affectivity. That's gonna be more anxiety driven.

• 55:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Sure, sure.

• 55:26Speaker 09

  Um, and for his personality disorder.

• 55:34Speaker 09

  He was above average, close to elevated with narcissism.

• 55:39Tom Segura?

  Okay.

• 55:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wow.

• 55:42Tom Segura?

  But people are hearing that and, and hearing, oh, this person may be a narcissist. And it's not really that.

• 55:48Speaker 09

  It's just showing me that, hey, you've got some things that, you know, put you up in this thing of, ah, I think about myself in certain ways.

• 55:56Tom Segura?

  Thing about him, he always wears shorts because he's always trying to show off his legs.

• 56:00Speaker 09

  Well, he's clinically significant.

• 56:02Tom Segura?

  Trying to show his legs off.

• 56:03Speaker 09

  He's clinically significant in attention seeking, so I'd be seeing why.

• 56:06Tom Segura?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 56:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  Clinically significant.

• 56:08Speaker 09

  And clinically significant in rigid perfectionism.

• 56:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  I love that. That's why he's so good at his job.

• 56:14Tom Segura?

  He's a fantastic photographer.

• 56:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  Good for him.

• 56:16Speaker 09

  And clinically significant in separation and security.

• 56:19Tom Segura?

  Hmm.

• 56:20Speaker 09

  Might have attachment issues.

• 56:21Tom Segura?

  Okay. He loves his hair, too. It's really crazy.

• 56:24Speaker 09

  He might be attached to it.

• 56:25Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 56:25Speaker 09

  My father was. He traveled with a curl brush with this.

• 56:29Tom Segura?

  Oh, that's Tyler all day.

• 56:30Speaker 09

  Yeah, it was horrible.

• 56:31Tom Segura?

  Hairspray. He has curlers all the time.

• 56:33Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's high anxiety, though. That makes sense. I think a lot of us do on this stuff, yeah.

• 56:36Speaker 09

  Now, that was one, two, three, four, five. Number six?

• 56:41Tom Segura?

  Uh huh.

• 56:42Speaker 09

  Who'd you guys think was the craziest? Gamba?

• 56:46Tom Segura?

  I thought.

• 56:46Speaker 09

  You thought, okay.

• 56:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  Any, any.

• 56:48Speaker 09

  Last time you guys said any?

• 56:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  I think it's any.

• 56:51Tom Segura?

  No.

• 56:52Speaker 09

  No. He's in the top six of being the lowest.

• 56:55Tom Segura?

  Wow.

• 56:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  Shut the front.

• 56:57Tom Segura?

  But we have to point something out here that really smart, conniving, narcissistic psychopaths will manipulate these tests so that they appear to be.

• 57:07Speaker 09

  I wondered about that.

• 57:09Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 57:10Speaker 09

  I wondered about that because y'all's last episode, he said he was going to gaslight the therapist. That's right.

• 57:15Speaker 10

  That's right. She watched it.

• 57:17Speaker 09

  So I was ready and prepared.

• 57:19Tom Segura?

  That was AI. That wasn't me.

• 57:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Because any, I told, I think any fudged his answers. I think he's, I think he would lie on the test.

• 57:27Speaker 09

  Well.

• 57:28Tom Segura?

  But he did well.

• 57:29Speaker 09

  He did well. He is.

• 57:31Tom Segura?

  Way to go, Annie.

• 57:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's impossible. That isn't fucking impossible.

• 57:34Tom Segura?

  Here's what I will say. Here's what I will say. I think if I took this test literally like three months ago, it'd be very different. I did that TMS shit, right?

• 57:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 57:41Tom Segura?

  And so I think honestly, it, fuck, yo, it.

• 57:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  Are you medicated too? Are you on meds?

• 57:46Tom Segura?

  No, I actually stopped my meds.

• 57:48Speaker 08

  I was on, I was on some crazy shit.

• 57:50Tom Segura?

  Well.

• 57:50Speaker 08

  I stopped it because of.

• 57:51Tom Segura?

  You did say something, we had a small chat before. And one of the things you said was this, you know, it depends the day you take this test, which makes sense.

• 58:00Speaker 09

  You can have bad mood and you can relate in the moment.

• 58:03Tom Segura?

  Yes.

• 58:03Speaker 09

  You know, like you, you can go and you even mentioned, you know, it can be either, do you decipher between professional and personal?

• 58:12Tom Segura?

  Right.

• 58:12Speaker 09

  You know, and what's what?

• 58:13Tom Segura?

  I felt like it was just, I was making it for the audience to know. I, I was like, you know, one of the questions was like, are you attention seeking? And I was like, thinking about my normal, everyday thing of like, I don't like attention when I walk into any room. And then I go, but it's disingenuous for me as a performer to say, I don't like attention because when I'm on stage, I certainly want your attention.

• 58:34Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 58:34Tom Segura?

  So things like that, right? Where you kind of go, how do I answer this?

• 58:37Speaker 09

  Yeah. And you got like the histrionic personality disorder where there is attention seeking. There is manipulation, you know, especially in the sense of, um, using their body for attention, you know, trying to, the flirtation and everything.

• 58:51Tom Segura?

  Hey, hey, hey.

• 58:52Speaker 09

  You know, and yeah, and I've actually got questions for you. Oh, fuck, yes. It's gonna be awesome. But any. Unreal. He was clinically significant in disinhibition. Yes. Which means he is orientated toward immediate gratification. Yes. Individuals scoring high on this can be easily distracted, may act on impulse and have difficulty with responsibility and commitment. Yeah, of course.

• 59:19Tom Segura?

  He's nodding.

• 59:20Speaker 09

  He was high on, he was above average on schizotypal, which is just very eccentric person. Ah. And antisocial with psychopathy.

• 59:33Tom Segura?

  What the fuck, wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. What the fuck happened? I thought we were always like number fucking three. What the hell?

• 59:37Speaker 09

  That's a scam. The guys who look at us are fucked. Number six, which means he's characterized by callousness. Yeah.

• 59:44Tom Segura?

  What?

• 59:44Speaker 09

  Deceitfulness. Yes. Impulsivity. Yes.

• 59:48Tom Segura?

  This is crazy.

• 59:49Speaker 09

  Irresponsibility. Uh huh. Manipulative.

• 59:51Tom Segura?

  Yes.

• 59:52Speaker 09

  Risk taking.

• 59:53Tom Segura?

  Yes.

• 59:53Speaker 09

  Yes. Attention seeking.

• 59:54Tom Segura?

  Yes.

• 59:55Speaker 09

  And low levels of anxiety and withdrawal.

• 59:58Christina Pazsitzky?

  So what would his personality disorder be if he were to lean into one?

• 1:00:02Speaker 09

  Anti-social with psychopathy.

• 1:00:04Tom Segura?

  Yeah, this is, hold on.

• 1:00:06Speaker 09

  But he still, it's, it's, it's, it's above average, but not significant that would make me go ding ding ding, he needs therapy.

• 1:00:15Tom Segura?

  There you go.

• 1:00:16Speaker 09

  Wow, you're in therapy!

• 1:00:17Tom Segura?

  That's a positive, that's a positive result, Annie.

• 1:00:19Speaker 08

  Okay.

• 1:00:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  Annie, you don't need therapy.

• 1:00:21Speaker 09

  No, don't need therapy.

• 1:00:23Tom Segura?

  Okay, so.

• 1:00:24Speaker 08

  Those words were, you know, a little concerning. Threw a lot of crazy words out there.

• 1:00:28Speaker 09

  Well, if you do wanna.

• 1:00:29Speaker 08

  Would kill people.

• 1:00:29Speaker 09

  If you, but if you do wanna gaslight a therapist, you do want attention from the therapist.

• 1:00:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  I have a question, Dr. Hope.

• 1:00:36Speaker 09

  Yes, ma'am.

• 1:00:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  What about ADHD? Is, does he lean towards that? Cause he said that himself many, like, I'm ADHD, I'm ADHD. And I wonder if he really is.

• 1:00:45Speaker 09

  If you look towards distractibility.

• 1:00:50Tom Segura?

  Yeah, that was my number one thing, right?

• 1:00:51Speaker 09

  Yes.

• 1:00:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:52Speaker 09

  Ecentric, just kinda little off the chart, off the wall thoughts and experiences, withdrawal. Um, separation insecurity would be part of that. Um, but his anxiety kinda takes that down a little bit.

• 1:01:08Tom Segura?

  Got it.

• 1:01:09Speaker 09

  But the thing is, is ADHD also looks different for everybody. And it looks different, especially for men and women.

• 1:01:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  Hmm.

• 1:01:15Speaker 09

  You know, like, I struggled with ADHD as a kid, but never knew it until I became a therapist. And I was like, oh crap, I've had it. But now that I'm in perimenopause, it actually impacts my ADHD even more.

• 1:01:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  Cool.

• 1:01:28Speaker 09

  So it increases it.

• 1:01:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  Fuck, what am I here?

• 1:01:30Tom Segura?

  Awesome. Life is fun.

• 1:01:32Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 1:01:32Tom Segura?

  Um, okay, so let's move along to.

• 1:01:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'm dying to, I'm shaking, I'm so excited.

• 1:01:38Tom Segura?

  Yeah, we're so excited.

• 1:01:39Speaker 09

  So I will give you.

• 1:01:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  God, I love this.

• 1:01:41Speaker 09

  Ha, hang on, I'm still sorting through them.

• 1:01:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  So I can't believe you made top six healthiest, Annie.

• 1:01:46Speaker 09

  He did!

• 1:01:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  And that means everyone else is absolutely not.

• 1:01:50Tom Segura?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:01:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  Four, five, six.

• 1:01:52Tom Segura?

  Let me ask you before you say this next thing.

• 1:01:53Speaker 09

  Yes.

• 1:01:55Tom Segura?

  Are there any, like, red flag people on this?

• 1:01:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  Of course, yes, and I wanna challenge them, but they're not here.

• 1:02:02Tom Segura?

  Okay, well, let's go, let's go.

• 1:02:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  Multiple people or just one?

• 1:02:05Tom Segura?

  Let's save the, let's save the, the, the, the top three. I don't know what they are yet.

• 1:02:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's amazing.

• 1:02:12Tom Segura?

  I guess I should just ask, just let's just get right to it. What's going on between, yeah, you go.

• 1:02:17Speaker 09

  Starting at where you get elevated in clinically, where things are just higher is Garrett.

• 1:02:25Speaker 09

  So Garrett is high in negative affectivity. He is clinically significant in that. And elevated in disinhibition. Which means he is high in anxiety, high in separation anxiety. High in emotional liability. He's high in anhedonia. And that.

• 1:02:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's depressed as fuck.

• 1:02:49Tom Segura?

  Well, you know, those guys are in edit base. That's fine.

• 1:02:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, that makes sense.

• 1:02:53Speaker 09

  High distractibility, high impulsivity.

• 1:02:56Tom Segura?

  Good.

• 1:02:57Speaker 09

  Eccentricity.

• 1:02:59Tom Segura?

  I like it.

• 1:03:01Speaker 09

  This is where the personality disorders. Out of, one, two, three, four, five, six, out of seven? Five started to, five are above average.

• 1:03:13Speaker 09

  The one that goes into clinically significant is borderline personality disorder.

• 1:03:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  You think it's a borderline? Male borderlines are very rare, aren't they? Usually it's women.

• 1:03:22Speaker 09

  Yeah, it's usually women in that.

• 1:03:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wow.

• 1:03:25Tom Segura?

  I like that.

• 1:03:26Christina Pazsitzky?

  Congratulations, Garrett.

• 1:03:27Speaker 09

  What brings him into that is his anxiety, emotional liability, impulsivity, risk-taking, and separation insecurity.

• 1:03:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wow.

• 1:03:36Tom Segura?

  Okay, that's good. That's fine.

• 1:03:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  Good job, Garrett. He's a great editor, though.

• 1:03:40Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  It all works in his favor.

• 1:03:43Tom Segura?

  Who's next?

• 1:03:43Speaker 09

  Caitlin.

• 1:03:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  I love Caitlin.

• 1:03:46Speaker 09

  Caitlin goes clinically significant into negative affectivity and psychoticism.

• 1:03:54Speaker 09

  And that was pretty much from anxiety, emotional liability, or liability, eccentricity, perceptual dysregulation, and unusual beliefs.

• 1:04:05Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:07Speaker 09

  Which brings her into five of the seven are above average.

• 1:04:14Speaker 09

  Borderline is elevated, so we would consider that. And clinically significant is schizotypal.

• 1:04:21Tom Segura?

  Okay.

• 1:04:22Speaker 09

  What does this mean? Very eccentric. Oh, cool.

• 1:04:25Tom Segura?

  What does that mean?

• 1:04:26Speaker 09

  So I'll give you a person, let me give you an example here. I've got like, there's so many examples. Schizot- schizotypal. Schizotypal. Schizotypal. So you have, yeah, it's tipple. Tiple. Just the way it's pronounced. Dysautonomia. So, yeah, I've got so much information, it's ridiculous. And my mind can't remember every single thing. Pervasive pattern of social and interpersonal deficits. Yes. Discomfort with and reduced capacity for close relationships. And give you an example. Yeah, this is me too. I mean, what are you telling me? Everybody is eccentric. Yeah. But I think being in the field that y'all are, you have to have an oddity.

• 1:05:04Tom Segura?

  But here's the thing.

• 1:05:05Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 1:05:06Tom Segura?

  Caitlin's funny, and I think

• 1:05:07Speaker 09

  So funny.

• 1:05:08Tom Segura?

  I would not want her to get treatment.

• 1:05:10Speaker 09

  No, no, no, no, no. No.

• 1:05:12Tom Segura?

  I like, she has great ideas, she's done some of the funniest videos here for us, so please don't get help.

• 1:05:17Speaker 09

  No, but see, like, an example of schizotypal is Back to the Future, The Professor. Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:24Tom Segura?

  Right.

• 1:05:25Speaker 09

  Yes. Caddyshack, Bill Murray in it. Yes. So that's more, that's what the schizotypal is, just odd.

• 1:05:32Tom Segura?

  Okay.

• 1:05:32Speaker 09

  That's so cool. Standout type of thing. That's why I like her. Next is Cougar.

• 1:05:37Tom Segura?

  Oh, Cougar's right there.

• 1:05:40Speaker 09

  Clinically significant in antagonism.

• 1:05:42Tom Segura?

  Hey.

• 1:05:43Speaker 09

  Means you can be a jerk. Yeah. Disinhibition. So he scored a high for deceitfulness.

• 1:05:53Tom Segura?

  Wow.

• 1:05:54Speaker 09

  Grandiosity.

• 1:05:55Tom Segura?

  Wow.

• 1:05:56Speaker 09

  Thinks very highly of himself. Oh, yeah. And manipulative.

• 1:06:00Tom Segura?

  Wow. Cougar.

• 1:06:03Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 1:06:04Tom Segura?

  Cougar, how do you feel about that?

• 1:06:06Speaker 09

  Cougar needs to see therapy.

• 1:06:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Congratulations Cougar.

• 1:06:10Tom Segura?

  That's awesome Cougar.

• 1:06:11Speaker 09

  Good for you. Cause every one of them.

• 1:06:14Tom Segura?

  Wow.

• 1:06:16Speaker 09

  Cougar. Dude, you scored so high. Congratulations. Every personality disorder goes up. He is highest in antisocial, antisocial with like psychopathy. And the highest is narcissism.

• 1:06:34Tom Segura?

  Cougar, this is a revelation to all of us. This is very exciting.

• 1:06:37Speaker 09

  Also Cougar's very good at his job too. So I would recommend not seeking therapy because whatever you're doing is working for us.

• 1:06:43Tom Segura?

  Yeah. But here's the thing. If you want to stay here, you stay how you are.

• 1:06:47Speaker 09

  Yeah, don't change. Cougar started the top five.

• 1:06:50Tom Segura?

  He starts the top five.

• 1:06:51Speaker 09

  Yeah. And so number four. And I met her. Heather. What? I would have thought she's the most normal.

• 1:07:02Speaker 09

  They get you. Where is she? They get you.

• 1:07:04Speaker 08

  Y'all don't see her when you leave, man.

• 1:07:06Speaker 09

  I'm not gonna say what vehicle I drove in. I don't want my tires slashed.

• 1:07:09Tom Segura?

  Holy shit.

• 1:07:11Speaker 09

  Yeah. No, she's not that bad.

• 1:07:13Tom Segura?

  So.

• 1:07:13Speaker 09

  But she's, she's elevated in antagonism. Really? I don't see that. Clinically significant in disinhibition and psychoticism.

• 1:07:25Tom Segura?

  Wow.

• 1:07:25Speaker 09

  And she did start scoring high on her personality disorder.

• 1:07:28Tom Segura?

  Wow. So Heather, here's Heather right here.

• 1:07:33Speaker 09

  She's a winner.

• 1:07:34Tom Segura?

  She's a winner.

• 1:07:35Speaker 09

  Good job Heather.

• 1:07:36Tom Segura?

  Very talented, very smart.

• 1:07:38Speaker 09

  She's amazing. But this is awesome. She's elevated in antisocial with psychopathy.

• 1:07:43Tom Segura?

  Well, here she is here. Do you have anything?

• 1:07:44Speaker 09

  My girl. Yes.

• 1:07:45Tom Segura?

  Doctor that you'd like to ask Heather?

• 1:07:48Speaker 09

  Well, I guess, once I look at narcissism being clinically significant. Wow. How do you think about yourself?

• 1:07:57Speaker 11

  I don't know. I just felt like I answered it like first gut. I was like, yeah, sometimes I do that. Or think that way, but I never would have thought.

• 1:08:06Speaker 09

  With attention seeking, what are ways you'd say like to seek attention?

• 1:08:11Speaker 11

  Uh, performing, music.

• 1:08:14Speaker 09

  Oh, what kind of, what do you do?

• 1:08:17Speaker 11

  Uh, I play keys and sing.

• 1:08:20Speaker 09

  That would be the only way for attention seeking.

• 1:08:23Speaker 11

  And in my work and...

• 1:08:24Tom Segura?

  She does butthole videos on OnlyFans.

• 1:08:27Speaker 09

  I was, I was going there.

• 1:08:29Speaker 11

  I try to, try to be good at everything I do so that I can get attention for that.

• 1:08:34Speaker 09

  So I asked you a normal therapy question. Do you have a close relationship with your parents?

• 1:08:39Speaker 11

  Not super close.

• 1:08:41Speaker 09

  Who's closer? Mom?

• 1:08:43Speaker 11

  Mom.

• 1:08:45Speaker 09

  Was dad around a lot? Or was he emotionally detached?

• 1:08:49Speaker 11

  Probably emotionally detached.

• 1:08:51Speaker 09

  Have you had struggle with dating off and on?

• 1:08:54Speaker 11

  No.

• 1:08:55Speaker 09

  Do you get attached very quickly?

• 1:08:57Speaker 11

  I mean, I don't have much to compare it to. I've been married for seven years, so...

• 1:09:01Speaker 09

  How old are you?

• 1:09:03Speaker 11

  Twenty-nine.

• 1:09:04Speaker 09

  Oh, okay, so you're young.

• 1:09:07Speaker 09

  So, did you date in high school?

• 1:09:10Speaker 11

  Hmm, just like casually.

• 1:09:12Speaker 09

  If you were to rate on self-esteem, on a scale of one to 10, one being piss poor, can't, don't want to think of yourself, 10 is I am the utmost, most amazing thing God created.

• 1:09:27Speaker 11

  Seven.

• 1:09:29Speaker 09

  That's pretty average. What would you think of your relationship with your husband?

• 1:09:35Speaker 11

  I think it's pretty good.

• 1:09:38Speaker 09

  Hmm.

• 1:09:40Speaker 11

  We enjoy each other's company a lot and have, I think, a good emotional balance.

• 1:09:46Speaker 09

  Okay, I won't go too deep into her on that.

• 1:09:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  Okay.

• 1:09:49Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 1:09:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, I will say Heather is very pleasant to be around and, and just such talented darling. But what's her personality disorder?

• 1:10:01Speaker 09

  I would, it would be narcissism.

• 1:10:03Tom Segura?

  Wow.

• 1:10:04Speaker 09

  So, she was high on attention seeking. Now, the one thing with therapy, you know, is, is, you know, has been described too.

• 1:10:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  Never go there.

• 1:10:11Speaker 09

  Is that you have to do random questions. Like, I ask, I ask questions and I think of it like a spider web. It's never always a straight sequence.

• 1:10:19Tom Segura?

  Sure.

• 1:10:20Speaker 09

  I jump around to see everything as connected, because I'll look at things like this and I kind of look at it like a spider web. The core issue's at the center of it, and all of the rings around it are the different behaviors that developed off of it. And somehow they're all interconnected. And therapy usually hits the outside.

• 1:10:37Speaker 09

  To knock it down, but what happens is that behavior rebuilds, but in a different way. So if you don't get at the core, you're not going to dismantle it. So that's why my questions were kind of bouncing around what I was asking with her. So it is very normal that if you have narcissism in the family, certain behaviors are going to be passed on generational. Yeah, you'll inherit. And so like distractibility clinically high on. Wow. Eccentricity. Grandiosity. Irresponsibility. Perceptual dysregulation, unusual beliefs, separation and security and rigid perfectionism.

• 1:11:15Tom Segura?

  Well, you know, I know something, Heather.

• 1:11:16Speaker 09

  I think you're awesome.

• 1:11:17Tom Segura?

  You are where you belong.

• 1:11:18Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 1:11:19Speaker 01

  Thanks, guys.

• 1:11:20Speaker 09

  Oh, I met her. She's just, she just felt like a saint.

• 1:11:22Tom Segura?

  She's lovely.

• 1:11:23Speaker 09

  Yeah, I loved her. I just loved her vibes.

• 1:11:26Tom Segura?

  Who, um, who's next?

• 1:11:28Speaker 09

  Top three.

• 1:11:29Tom Segura?

  Top three.

• 1:11:30Speaker 09

  Gamba.

• 1:11:34Tom Segura?

  So.

• 1:11:35Speaker 09

  Jesus Christ. By the way, I love Heather's tattoos on her. Oh, she's cool.

• 1:11:38Tom Segura?

  Yeah, she's a cool. Gamba is one of our editors. There, I'll just say this from somebody who like, you know, I come in and out of the office, I see him with some frequency troubling, troubling individual.

• 1:11:49Speaker 09

  Oh, my God. I was wondering.

• 1:11:52Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:53Speaker 09

  Um, we need to talk.

• 1:11:57Speaker 09

  I have openings next week.

• 1:12:00Speaker 09

  I even do weekends, seven days a week. Yeah.

• 1:12:02Tom Segura?

  Wow.

• 1:12:04Speaker 09

  I will talk at eight o'clock at night if you need to.

• 1:12:08Speaker 09

  I'll skip.

• 1:12:09Tom Segura?

  Oh, there he is.

• 1:12:10Speaker 09

  There he is. I'll skip the gym for Gamba. You need help, my friend.

• 1:12:14Speaker 12

  Yeah, what's happening?

• 1:12:18Speaker 09

  You gotta sigh, dude. Once I got to these top three, like it described in the lobby, I had a mental heart on. Um, because this would be amazing to dive into.

• 1:12:27Tom Segura?

  So Gamba, he, he, he threw up some flags?

• 1:12:32Speaker 09

  Yeah. Um, so the personality domain. For psychoticism and antagonism disinhibition.

• 1:12:40Tom Segura?

  Whoa.

• 1:12:41Speaker 01

  You're off the charts. You're literally off the chart.

• 1:12:46Speaker 09

  Withdrawal.

• 1:12:47Tom Segura?

  Another thing too, as a non-professional, is that he has that great quality of a, like a, kind of like a troubling individual.

• 1:12:57Speaker 09

  Yes.

• 1:12:57Tom Segura?

  Who doesn't realize that they are that way. You know what I mean? Like, he has such a pleasant demeanor, walking in, but you're like, you're fucking crazy, right?

• 1:13:06Speaker 09

  Oh, he's probably just used to living in it.

• 1:13:07Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:08Speaker 09

  It's just part of who he is.

• 1:13:10Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:11Speaker 09

  It's, it's just, it'll be part of his childhood development.

• 1:13:14Tom Segura?

  What is the personality disorder that is most likely in, in him?

• 1:13:19Speaker 09

  It's, it's hard to determine.

• 1:13:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Schizoid, some schizoid stuff. He's definitely removed from reality.

• 1:13:26Tom Segura?

  Holy shit.

• 1:13:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  All of them?

• 1:13:30Speaker 09

  All of them.

• 1:13:31Tom Segura?

  All of them?

• 1:13:32Speaker 09

  The top, the top two are schizotipal, which we're not gonna say is a big thing.

• 1:13:37Tom Segura?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:13:38Speaker 09

  But antisocial.

• 1:13:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  Definitely.

• 1:13:40Speaker 09

  And borderline.

• 1:13:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wow.

• 1:13:42Tom Segura?

  Nice. How's it feel, Gombo?

• 1:13:45Speaker 12

  I don't feel good right now.

• 1:13:46Tom Segura?

  You don't?

• 1:13:46Speaker 12

  No.

• 1:13:47Tom Segura?

  But see, that's a healthy response.

• 1:13:49Speaker 09

  And, and, and so I guess the question is,

• 1:13:54Speaker 09

  did you have a good childhood?

• 1:13:56Christina Pazsitzky?

  No.

• 1:13:57Speaker 12

  Yeah, like I, I love my parents. Like, I get along with them.

• 1:14:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, you're fucked. Get into therapy.

• 1:14:02Speaker 09

  Did you have some form of trauma when you were a kid?

• 1:14:05Speaker 12

  Um, I mean, I can't get into it though.

• 1:14:07Speaker 09

  Nope, I'm not gonna get into the trauma then. That already tells my mind in the direction I would go.

• 1:14:11Tom Segura?

  Okay.

• 1:14:12Speaker 09

  Um, so, there's levels of trauma. Now, borderline, a lot of people will say borderline comes from trauma, and it doesn't.

• 1:14:19Christina Pazsitzky?

  Really?

• 1:14:20Speaker 09

  Nope, not all the time.

• 1:14:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  Where does it come from? Why?

• 1:14:22Speaker 09

  It can be just developed, yes.

• 1:14:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:24Speaker 09

  It can be developed. It can be from experiences, but that's kind of in the low percentage of it. But, this also tells me that there's, that's why I asked on the trauma, because if there is trauma, he's gonna have a lot of these behaviors that, attention-seeking is across the board. You know, deceitfulness, hostility, manipulative, risk-taking. Sometimes, like I said, out there, risk-taking comes for some people because they're trying to stay in reality.

• 1:14:50Tom Segura?

  Right.

• 1:14:51Speaker 09

  You know, do you ever feel like there's times you dissociate, or you disengage when things get highly stressful or confrontational?

• 1:14:57Speaker 12

  It happened a second ago right now.

• 1:15:01Speaker 09

  My bad. But he is, he is a sweetheart, though. Yeah, and then some people can't eat like that.

• 1:15:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  But also too, some, because I dissociated for many years before I knew that's what I was doing. Can you describe what that means?

• 1:15:14Speaker 09

  What happens is-

• 1:15:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  How it feels?

• 1:15:16Speaker 09

  This is how I explain to my people, I don't use the word client because I hate that word. It's so detached, you know, so I use people. The way I describe trauma to my people is when we're born, you know, our, our, the right side of our brain comes right online into the world. Babies start to learn their behaviors, you know, they start to learn emotions. This is where our trauma responses develop. Then you got the left side of the brain that starts to develop over time, which is our normalcy of life. Our key time is our adolescent years, 12 to 16. That's also the key time our prefrontal cortex, or I call our adult mind, starts to develop. So our normalcy of life is his normalcy will be different than my normalcy. Y'all's normalcy are also going to be different. If you have a healthy home, there's a proper balance in communication between all of them, all three of them.

• 1:16:01Speaker 09

  But if you have trauma, on the left side is where you start to develop the behaviors to exist within that trauma. I watched an episode from two years ago, I'm going to sound like a creeper now, when your mom came to visit. Mm-hmm. And you guys were in Miami, or, uh, you guys went to Hawaii. Hawaii, oh yeah. You know, but then I watched the next day episode. God. Or the next episode. And, um, the way you're talking about the way you grew up with your mom. I get it, I don't talk to my mother, you know? So what happens is you start to develop behaviors to live within that world. Because this becomes the good child. Because if dad's drunk, I know I have to go in my room and hide and he ain't going to beat me. Yeah. So we start to develop, this is where you're going to find the dissociation and

• 1:16:46Speaker 09

  everything, because it's like if I disengage, I won't get hurt. But then what happens is the other side is where we have our emotions. We can have a dysregulation of emotions because everything gets put away. This becomes the bad child. And I kind of tell people, remember in history, the timeline? And you had to put the dot in the events that happened in time. So if you have the civil war, the emotions and experiences that happened in that time started, developed in that time. Everybody grew off of that. It's the same thing with our behaviors. Say if you're six years old and you you get sexually assaulted. Well, an emotion develops in that time. So when you're an adult and you're having certain experiences, remember you didn't

• 1:17:30Speaker 09

  go through that. A child went through that. So it's a child's emotion that gets developed in that time that never properly got to grow.

• 1:17:39Speaker 09

  So I tell people, you didn't go through the trauma. A child did. So what happens is think of a hallway and every child part that that got developed, each emotion that got developed in time, kind of gets put away in the room and they're not allowed to come up. But when they come out, we don't know how to handle it. We don't know how to handle them because we never learned to regulate them. Because they were bad, they got us in trouble, they got us beat, they got us everything bad. So there's no proper communication because the prefrontal cortex, the adult mind, is supposed to calm everybody and regulate everybody. You know, your decision making, your rationalization and all of that.

• 1:18:14Tom Segura?

  On the Hawaii episode, did you see what a gaslighting manipulator my mother is?

• 1:18:17Speaker 09

  I could see certain things. Yeah, but I could see how you learned how to engage that by acting as if that didn't exist. And then she becomes kind of like your rescue. Because she sees it, because I know it's probably a reflection of your mom, but you kind of go back and you become his protector.

• 1:18:34Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yes.

• 1:18:35Speaker 09

  Because I could see a recoil in you. But then when everybody answered, I watched everybody's posture back there. And I'm wondering, I don't, I can't see, I can, because I'm part midget, I can't see, oh, there they are. I can see their heads. Raise your hand if one of you, if any of y'all felt like a recoil, a child recoil, going against somebody older than you were an adult. None of you?

• 1:19:00Tom Segura?

  Wait, I think I

• 1:19:01Speaker 09

  They don't. No, so, so when you, when he asked, when you guys were doing the burping thing, or no, your beard, you're you're talking about your beard, what looked better because you had shaved?

• 1:19:12Tom Segura?

  Oh, right, right, right. This is an old episode.

• 1:19:14Speaker 09

  Yeah, two years ago. Yeah, I'm kind of weird.

• 1:19:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  Let me talk about Hawaii. I want to talk about Hawaii.

• 1:19:18Speaker 09

  She kept doing it. She kept doing it. Yes. So you had shaved. And it was the first time in like 15 years, you said.

• 1:19:23Tom Segura?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:19:23Speaker 09

  So you shaved and you had stubble. And she was trying to say, no, no, no, go back. And you were like, all right, let me ask the guys. And she said, no, no, they're going to give you the answer that you want because you're the boss.

• 1:19:35Speaker 09

  But I kinda saw, yeah, not everybody relaxed, go, you know, answering, not in the way she thought.

• 1:19:42Tom Segura?

  Well, what I remember most about, like, what comes to me about that episode was the, the thing where I remember she was saying, um, she wanted me to buy something for her on that trip.

• 1:19:55Speaker 09

  The necklace.

• 1:19:56Tom Segura?

  The necklace. And what I did, I was like, yeah, I wasn't like volunteering. She goes, yeah, you did. And we brought my sister in.

• 1:20:02Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 1:20:02Tom Segura?

  And she was like, I can't lie. And then my mom was like, how much did he pay you? Like she?

• 1:20:07Speaker 09

  She, she can't believe that, you know, type of thing.

• 1:20:10Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:11Speaker 09

  But I guess when you guys had to give what his beard looked like, did you feel awkward going against her?

• 1:20:17Tom Segura?

  Uh, no, no, not me personally.

• 1:20:21Speaker 09

  Anybody?

• 1:20:22Tom Segura?

  Zola, did you feel weird?

• 1:20:24Speaker 09

  No, I'm not going against her. No? Okay, cuz I saw tense.

• 1:20:28Tom Segura?

  Yeah, maybe they were. I mean, it was probably tense because they saw someone wanting to kill their mother.

• 1:20:32Speaker 09

  Yeah, that could be it too. Yeah, she's the worst. So, but I mean, and that's where I'm trying to go is like, sometimes there's like a child recoil. Yeah, of course. Like you had it, you know, it was, it was like, this is mom. And it's like, no matter how old we get, there's still that part of us that responds to that. So I guess with Gamba, well, no, he already dissociated. So that already tells me. Now, are you being honest that you dissociated or are you BSing me?

• 1:20:58Tom Segura?

  No, I was being honest, but I'm back in.

• 1:20:59Speaker 09

  Okay, so dissociation, let me ask you this. When you dissociate, what does that feel like to you? Do you just space out? Or do you kinda go numb?

• 1:21:07Tom Segura?

  I kinda like, like some words come in, but I'm really, I don't know, like I'm in my head.

• 1:21:11Speaker 09

  Okay. So what that tells me is when we talk about child parts, those trauma parts, something got engaged saying you got too close too quick. And so now that's a defense mechanism. Would you say that would be fair?

• 1:21:24Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:25Speaker 09

  Okay. And so that's how, you know, you deal with trauma. But if there is something like that from the heart, I think it would probably be one day get to that point to process stuff. It won't take away from the job you do. But I hope you have your perspective kinda cleared up.

• 1:21:44Tom Segura?

  Okay, so Gamba and Gamba only can go to therapy.

• 1:21:46Speaker 09

  Yeah, Gamba's allowed. Who's next? Gamba, I think would do.

• 1:21:51Tom Segura?

  Who's next on the red flag list? Cause we have, we're at the top two. By the way, I'm on, I'm over here like freaking out, wondering.

• 1:21:59Speaker 09

  What y'all are on?

• 1:22:00Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:03Tom Segura?

  This is number two we're about to do?

• 1:22:04Speaker 09

  Yes.

• 1:22:04Tom Segura?

  Okay, who is number two?

• 1:22:05Speaker 09

  Niana. What? Thank you for talking with me, Gamba.

• 1:22:10Tom Segura?

  Thanks, Gamba.

• 1:22:10Speaker 09

  Thank you, Gamba. Get therapy. Niana.

• 1:22:14Tom Segura?

  There she is.

• 1:22:15Speaker 09

  Love her. It's my girl right there. So, the only one she was not elevated on was antagonism. Oh, yeah. But everything else she was.

• 1:22:24Tom Segura?

  Everything else she was.

• 1:22:27Speaker 09

  You broke the scale.

• 1:22:30Tom Segura?

  Holy shit. Yeah, she's up there.

• 1:22:32Speaker 09

  Damn, girl. You're a high achiever, buddy. We're a high in clinically significant negative affectivity. Sure.

• 1:22:38Tom Segura?

  What does that mean? What does that mean for, like, what does negative affectivity mean?

• 1:22:42Speaker 09

  The way they see the world. Very negative, very anxious.

• 1:22:44Tom Segura?

  Okay.

• 1:22:45Speaker 09

  You know, suspicious of it.

• 1:22:47Tom Segura?

  Okay.

• 1:22:48Speaker 09

  Then the psychoticism and disinhibition.

• 1:22:51Tom Segura?

  Okay.

• 1:22:52Speaker 09

  Now, it's, she had the emotional ability, it's, it can fluctuate. Ability means changeability, yeah? So, in that way, she can disengage her emotions very quickly. So, it's like, have you ever had that out of sight, out of mind?

• 1:23:10Speaker 13

  Definitely.

• 1:23:11Speaker 09

  Do you have ADHD?

• 1:23:13Speaker 13

  Um, I've never been diagnosed.

• 1:23:15Speaker 09

  Okay. Um, but yeah, usually if you have somebody that's very negative, um, well, do you yo-yo back and forth like with attachment with people? Like, you want them close, but you don't want them close? Like, if they get too close, it's like you gotta put the brakes on?

• 1:23:30Speaker 13

  Yeah, I could see that.

• 1:23:32Speaker 09

  But if they try and walk away and ignore you, does it suck?

• 1:23:35Speaker 13

  Yeah.

• 1:23:35Speaker 09

  Okay. And then, um, she's high in eccentricity, perceptual dysregulation, unusual beliefs. Of course, aliens. She and I talk about it all the time. I'll talk about you with aliens.

• 1:23:49Speaker 09

  Distractibility, irresponsibility.

• 1:23:54Speaker 09

  Withdrawal? She's a great employee. Now, she is-

• 1:23:57Tom Segura?

  So great.

• 1:23:58Speaker 09

  She really is amazing.

• 1:23:58Tom Segura?

  Also, another one I gotta say-

• 1:24:00Speaker 09

  So good.

• 1:24:01Tom Segura?

  Doing a great job.

• 1:24:01Speaker 09

  Yes.

• 1:24:02Tom Segura?

  Do not get help.

• 1:24:03Speaker 09

  No, no, no, no, no. She would probably... Oh, no. But she scored high on things.

• 1:24:10Tom Segura?

  That's up there. Elevated.

• 1:24:12Speaker 09

  So she's elevated on schizotypal, which is okay. She's elevated on OCD. Oh, yeah, of course. She is clinically significant on avoidant.

• 1:24:26Tom Segura?

  Of course.

• 1:24:26Speaker 09

  And creeping into borderline. Oh, good congratulations!

• 1:24:30Tom Segura?

  You know what, though? You got a nice dash of it. That's all you got.

• 1:24:33Speaker 09

  She got a good sprinkle of everything.

• 1:24:35Tom Segura?

  Some seasoning.

• 1:24:37Speaker 09

  So have you... Who are you closer to in your family?

• 1:24:43Speaker 13

  My mom.

• 1:24:44Speaker 09

  Your mom?

• 1:24:45Speaker 13

  Yeah, but we are both emotionally volatile together.

• 1:24:49Speaker 09

  Is your mom anxious person?

• 1:24:50Speaker 13

  Absolutely.

• 1:24:51Speaker 09

  Was there any parentification? Hundred percent.

• 1:24:54Speaker 13

  Yeah.

• 1:24:55Speaker 09

  Was dad around?

• 1:24:56Speaker 13

  Mm-hmm. Yeah, he's a good dad.

• 1:24:58Speaker 09

  Okay. But your mom, did she come from a hard life?

• 1:25:02Speaker 13

  Yes, definitely.

• 1:25:04Speaker 09

  Did she deal with abuse?

• 1:25:05Speaker 13

  Yep.

• 1:25:07Speaker 09

  Do you think she was overreactive with you?

• 1:25:10Speaker 13

  Definitely.

• 1:25:11Speaker 09

  Was she a helicopter parent?

• 1:25:13Speaker 13

  Um, no, I wouldn't say so.

• 1:25:15Speaker 09

  If you were to talk to her and tell her how you were feeling, what would she do?

• 1:25:20Speaker 13

  Um, she'd get very defensive.

• 1:25:22Speaker 09

  Cool. Make it about her?

• 1:25:23Speaker 13

  Yeah.

• 1:25:25Tom Segura?

  What, you're talking about my mom or Nana's mom?

• 1:25:26Speaker 09

  Yeah, we're talking about Shora. You guys related? No? Yeah, you could be. Um- Oh, my god. Do you... Are you anxious about how people perceive you?

• 1:25:38Speaker 13

  Oh, yeah, that's all I think about all the time.

• 1:25:40Speaker 09

  Aw, baby. We love you.

• 1:25:42Speaker 13

  Thank you.

• 1:25:43Speaker 09

  She looks so innocent.

• 1:25:45Tom Segura?

  She's a sweet girl. She's really, she really is great.

• 1:25:49Speaker 09

  Um, for you, do you panic when people get close to you?

• 1:25:56Speaker 13

  Hmm...

• 1:25:57Speaker 09

  Like, say... Okay, let me reword it. Do you give too much of yourself to people really quick?

• 1:26:03Speaker 13

  Oh, yeah, probably.

• 1:26:05Speaker 09

  Are you quick to end friendships or relationships?

• 1:26:07Speaker 13

  Yes.

• 1:26:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  Hmm, that's borderline as shit.

• 1:26:12Speaker 09

  You got...

• 1:26:14Speaker 09

  So, what is your perception just of your life?

• 1:26:22Speaker 13

  Um, of my life or like of myself?

• 1:26:24Speaker 09

  Let's go yourself.

• 1:26:26Speaker 13

  Um, I think I'm very anxious and I'm a perfectionist that like needs validation.

• 1:26:35Speaker 09

  So, I call, I call this a perception filter. So, when we, when I was younger, we did something called the grapevine effect, but I guess they'd call it telephone. You put people in a line, you tell the first person a sentence, and then everybody passes it on and whispers. And at the end, you have a totally different sentence. I kinda look at that as that's life. People tell us something and then all of these people in the middle are the experiences that we've had in life. That change our perspective of how we see things. That's the filter that this truth has to go through. And on the other side is we get a skewed version of that statement.

• 1:27:15Tom Segura?

  Sure.

• 1:27:17Speaker 09

  So sometimes when you have people that have had, especially I have a lot of people that have very anxious mothers, very controlling mothers, emotionally manipulative mothers. Um, you know, they, it's hard for them to trust people. Do you have a hot, do you feel more comfortable with friendships with men or women?

• 1:27:35Speaker 13

  Women.

• 1:27:37Speaker 09

  Really?

• 1:27:39Speaker 13

  Yeah, I think so.

• 1:27:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  I think here definitely, right? Like at the studio?

• 1:27:44Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 1:27:44Tom Segura?

  I've, by the way, I feel the same, like the same type of mother stuff.

• 1:27:50Speaker 09

  Yes.

• 1:27:50Tom Segura?

  And I definitely feel more at ease with women, even like though my mother is like, I feel more...

• 1:27:56Speaker 09

  And sometimes people go the opposite to the healthier side. So, okay, I guess that was all I could ask for that.

• 1:28:03Tom Segura?

  Okay, here's we got, um, Niana, don't get help. Um, uh, okay, we're down to number one. I am so anxious. Please be Christina. Is it Christina? Is it Christina? Is it Christina?

• 1:28:16Speaker 09

  No.

• 1:28:19Speaker 09

  But I think this person fudged their test.

• 1:28:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wow.

• 1:28:22Tom Segura?

  Is it me?

• 1:28:23Speaker 09

  No.

• 1:28:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  Did you fucking lie?

• 1:28:24Tom Segura?

  No, I'm asking what she, what she said.

• 1:28:26Speaker 09

  But I think this person was doing it just to BS or to have fun. Because if not, so what happened is when I ran this person's test for this assessment, I messaged Zolo and I had to ask if he was a combat veteran.

• 1:28:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  But Chris Larson? Where's Chris's test, by the way?

• 1:28:47Tom Segura?

  Wait, so hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Before, before we get to this, before we get to this, our combat vet who's deeply troubling, can, can you tell us, based on your test, who is crazier between me and Christina? Cause that's really what we're-

• 1:29:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wait, wait, we're gonna do this first?

• 1:29:04Tom Segura?

  Yeah, of course, cause we know it's not us.

• 1:29:06Speaker 09

  No, you guys are separate from everybody.

• 1:29:08Tom Segura?

  So we have to ask-

• 1:29:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wait, but where, but where do we go on the scale of, of?

• 1:29:13Tom Segura?

  I know, I'm-

• 1:29:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  I know, I'm just excited.

• 1:29:16Speaker 09

  Almost Christina.

• 1:29:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  What, what, where am I?

• 1:29:21Tom Segura?

  Christina's crazier?

• 1:29:22Speaker 09

  She got, she got more than you.

• 1:29:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  More what?

• 1:29:24Speaker 09

  But, but now the suspense starts. So this person-

• 1:29:28Tom Segura?

  Okay.

• 1:29:28Speaker 09

  Tanner.

• 1:29:30Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:30Tom Segura?

  Tanner, so Tanner, just to be, he's our, he's, I think our youngest person. He's a comedian, like I told you, comedians are very, very-

• 1:29:38Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's out of his fucking mind.

• 1:29:38Tom Segura?

  He is crazy as shit.

• 1:29:40Speaker 09

  It's either he's really crazy or he was just having fun because if he's young like that, I think he did it to manipulate it.

• 1:29:47Tom Segura?

  I think it's a little bit of both.

• 1:29:48Speaker 09

  Because, um-

• 1:29:49Tom Segura?

  Wait, can we call him? Yeah. Why don't we get him on the-

• 1:29:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'd say that he manipulated the exam. Oh yeah, he's fucking with you. There's no way.

• 1:29:58Tom Segura?

  Well, let's ask him, let's ask him.

• 1:29:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  And by the way-

• 1:30:01Tom Segura?

  Tanner?

• 1:30:02Speaker 10

  What's up?

• 1:30:03Tom Segura?

  Hey, how are you, buddy?

• 1:30:05Speaker 10

  I'm good.

• 1:30:06Tom Segura?

  Where are you today? We thought you'd be here.

• 1:30:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, where are you?

• 1:30:08Speaker 10

  Oh, I'm, I'm actually, I'm in California right now. I'm in SoCal.

• 1:30:13Tom Segura?

  Do you still work here?

• 1:30:15Speaker 10

  Yeah, yeah, I do.

• 1:30:16Tom Segura?

  Okay. So, we're going through the psych evaluations and we've run through all of them and she had one that she flagged. She's like, "This is the most significant one by far."

• 1:30:28Speaker 10

  Did I win?

• 1:30:29Tom Segura?

  Well, she thought it was somebody who maybe served time in combat.

• 1:30:35Speaker 10

  Whoa!

• 1:30:36Tom Segura?

  Yeah, and so, the real question here with Dr. Hope is, is, "Did you manipulate your answers or were you truthful?" Like, were you having fun or were you being honest?

• 1:30:47Speaker 09

  Be honest, Tanner. Were you goofing?

• 1:30:48Speaker 10

  No, I was like really locked in for that. I like wanted to be honest about it because I heard like a professional was gonna analyze it, so.

• 1:30:57Speaker 09

  So, you were on it?

• 1:30:57Speaker 10

  I took it pretty seriously.

• 1:30:58Tom Segura?

  Okay, so here, she's here.

• 1:31:00Speaker 09

  This isn't saying combat vets are batshit crazy.

• 1:31:02Tom Segura?

  No, I know, I know.

• 1:31:04Speaker 09

  But it's just that, have you gone through some serious stuff in life?

• 1:31:09Speaker 10

  Um, I mean, other people might think it's serious, but I think it's kinda fun.

• 1:31:14Speaker 09

  He lived in a cargo, what is it, a cargo?

• 1:31:18Speaker 10

  I lived in a shit big container for like a year and then I...

• 1:31:22Speaker 09

  How old are you?

• 1:31:24Speaker 10

  Twenty-three.

• 1:31:25Speaker 09

  Oh, you're still a baby. What's wonderful is, he's still in development. Brain's not done developing until around twenty-five.

• 1:31:32Tom Segura?

  That front lobe is not fully formed?

• 1:31:34Speaker 09

  No, it is. It's between twelve to sixteen. However, that's the key development, but his, just the way he sees things, the way he sees the world, the way he's processing. It's like, think of your brain slowly getting encased in glass. You can change things, take things out, remove things, but once that glass casing comes in...

• 1:31:50Tom Segura?

  Then it's done.

• 1:31:51Speaker 09

  It's kinda like it's set in and it takes longer to kinda readapt things or change things.

• 1:31:56Tom Segura?

  So, Tanner was clinically significant in almost every category?

• 1:32:02Speaker 09

  I showed you that.

• 1:32:03Tom Segura?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:32:04Speaker 10

  Whoa, so I'm like a Navy SEAL.

• 1:32:08Speaker 09

  Um, we'll get there.

• 1:32:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  One that was in combat. In Afghanistan.

• 1:32:13Tom Segura?

  Whoa! So, you are at like the hundredth percentile for antisocial, antisocial with psychopathy, borderline narcissistic, and schizo...

• 1:32:25Speaker 09

  Tipple.

• 1:32:25Tom Segura?

  Tipple.

• 1:32:26Speaker 10

  Whoa, oh my goodness.

• 1:32:28Speaker 09

  And above average, and avoidant, and obsessive compulsive. So, it's kinda like what I ask a lot of people.

• 1:32:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  Congratulations.

• 1:32:35Speaker 09

  Did you have a good home life?

• 1:32:39Speaker 10

  Um, does this mean I'm gonna be successful?

• 1:32:43Speaker 09

  Well, honestly, depends how you use it.

• 1:32:46Speaker 10

  Okay, well, we're on the light side of the force, so.

• 1:32:51Speaker 09

  So that would be avoidant.

• 1:32:56Tom Segura?

  So that's avoidant, right. Um, but he's not, uh, I don't, you know, he's funny.

• 1:33:01Speaker 09

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:33:02Tom Segura?

  He, he, he says outrageous things, which, by the way, all comedians do.

• 1:33:07Speaker 09

  Absolutely.

• 1:33:08Speaker 10

  Yeah.

• 1:33:08Tom Segura?

  Very funny.

• 1:33:09Speaker 09

  So talented.

• 1:33:09Speaker 10

  I wasn't rich or anything, but I almost was, so.

• 1:33:13Tom Segura?

  There's the full sentence.

• 1:33:14Speaker 09

  There we go. I wasn't going that deep with everybody today, but, no, but that shows. It's just that there's probably gonna be some stuff there. Was there ever, in the family, was there anybody with, uh, anger, alcohol, or drug use?

• 1:33:28Speaker 10

  Um, yeah, yes, yes. It took a while for my parents to tell me about it, but yeah.

• 1:33:35Speaker 09

  Okay. Did you grow up, where things were unstable, or you moved around a lot?

• 1:33:42Speaker 10

  Um, like, I was unstable?

• 1:33:45Speaker 09

  No, the home was unstable. Did you guys move around a lot? I gotta pee, I'm sorry.

• 1:33:49Speaker 10

  I mean, we moved.

• 1:33:52Speaker 09

  Were parents...

• 1:33:53Speaker 10

  We moved.

• 1:33:54Speaker 09

  Okay, were parents home a lot?

• 1:33:56Speaker 10

  Um, sometimes, like, my mom decided to get, like, a job at one point, so that was kinda cool.

• 1:34:06Speaker 09

  That was kinda chunky. Um, what?

• 1:34:12Speaker 09

  Getting a job, don't count on it.

• 1:34:13Tom Segura?

  Yeah, so...

• 1:34:15Speaker 09

  So it's, if he answered truthfully on these.

• 1:34:18Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:18Speaker 09

  One day, I'd definitely say, you know, it doesn't take away from who you are as a person, but it'd be some things just to dive into and talk to someone on.

• 1:34:26Tom Segura?

  Yeah, so Tanner, would you be open to, um, just going to therapy, like, seeing if it does something for you?

• 1:34:33Speaker 10

  Yeah, I mean, that would be something I'd, I'd look into.

• 1:34:38Tom Segura?

  Okay.

• 1:34:38Speaker 10

  I for sure have some problems, I do know that.

• 1:34:41Tom Segura?

  Well, yeah, we all do, buddy. Um, it's not just you.

• 1:34:43Speaker 10

  Yeah.

• 1:34:44Speaker 09

  Everybody does.

• 1:34:45Speaker 10

  I'm like, in like, the top of the top, like, I'm, I'm special forces retarded.

• 1:34:50Speaker 09

  You got, you got, you're not, don't say retarded.

• 1:34:53Tom Segura?

  Tanner.

• 1:34:55Speaker 09

  You got some stuff you dealt, you've gone through.

• 1:34:57Tom Segura?

  Tanner, there was, there were, um, sixteen evaluations, and there was one she put aside, um, where she goes, "We really need to discuss this one," and that was yours.

• 1:35:09Tom Segura?

  That's you, buddy. So when you get back.

• 1:35:12Speaker 10

  I'm so proud of myself.

• 1:35:13Tom Segura?

  Yeah, we'll have a have some places for you to go, maybe.

• 1:35:18Speaker 09

  I'll leave my, I'll leave my business card behind.

• 1:35:21Tom Segura?

  Great. That's great. I think it'd be, it'd be fun to know exactly which category he ultimately falls into.

• 1:35:27Speaker 09

  Sort through all of it and see.

• 1:35:29Speaker 10

  You're not gonna make me take meds, are you?

• 1:35:31Speaker 09

  No, no, I don't. See, I'm not a psychiatrist. I, I.

• 1:35:35Speaker 10

  Okay. Cause the last lady did that and I didn't like her.

• 1:35:37Speaker 09

  No, no, no, no, no. I'm not a fan of medicine unless it's absolutely necessary, like as a support, a supportive device. A supportive, you know, thing, but other than that.

• 1:35:47Tom Segura?

  Some talk therapy, man.

• 1:35:48Speaker 09

  Yeah, no. And I focus, I focus on complex trauma and that's what my doctor exists towards is trauma, traumatology. So.

• 1:35:55Tom Segura?

  Well.

• 1:35:55Speaker 10

  So I have the brain of a combat veteran.

• 1:35:58Tom Segura?

  He's really attached to that.

• 1:35:59Speaker 09

  You got, you got, you got some trauma that is off the charts for someone. You're, you're, you got, you got to, uh, numbers that are off the charts for someone your age without having gone through any form of trauma. And for you, that would be normal.

• 1:36:13Speaker 10

  I've gone through trauma.

• 1:36:14Speaker 09

  Yep. And so, no, this just shows that there's something there, a lot of things that are there that probably haven't been dealt with.

• 1:36:22Speaker 10

  Yeah, no, I do a lot of like self-dealing.

• 1:36:30Speaker 09

  I'm gonna say that would probably be weed.

• 1:36:32Speaker 10

  They always say seek help from a professional, but I don't know. I don't know any professionals, really.

• 1:36:38Speaker 09

  Yep. And so it's just, there's just some things that look like they'd be sorted out. That's all.

• 1:36:42Tom Segura?

  Let's, uh, let's get you in a room, bud. Let's get you in a room on a couch.

• 1:36:47Speaker 10

  Awesome. I like the casting couch. That's a good room.

• 1:36:50Speaker 09

  If you do, if you do wanna do therapy, I only do virtual.

• 1:36:53Tom Segura?

  Okay.

• 1:36:54Speaker 09

  And Tanner, therapy doesn't make you less funny, so don't worry about that. It'll actually make you better at stand-up. And make you funnier. And what it can do is take the, a lot of the negatives and they can actually become things you can use to help yourself. Yeah.

• 1:37:09Speaker 10

  Yeah, like, uh.

• 1:37:12Speaker 09

  Don't say combat vet. That was a mistake I'm up.

• 1:37:14Speaker 10

  No, I wasn't. I was just like, people turn bad things into good things all the time.

• 1:37:18Speaker 09

  Oh, no. And, and a lot of people will, you know, there you'll have some therapist that'll do it wrong where they try to take away all of the negative things that you've had, or like all of the child trauma parts. They try and make them go away. Instead of saying, let them exist, let them have importance, you know, because our trauma parts all play a role in our lives. They become pretty much our protectors, but they end up hurting us at the same time.

• 1:37:43Christina Pazsitzky?

  If they're too funky.

• 1:37:44Speaker 09

  Yeah, if they're too strong, like, you know, if you think about, um, people that can be self-destructive.

• 1:37:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:37:50Speaker 09

  Well, that's also a defense mechanism.

• 1:37:53Speaker 10

  Oh, I think I'm a little bit of that, too.

• 1:37:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, for sure. Yeah. Plus your age, 23 is like.

• 1:37:58Tom Segura?

  You're such a baby.

• 1:37:59Speaker 09

  So you'll see stuff like that. So, you know, it's just, there might be behaviors of distrust. There might be behaviors of, you know, being avoidant. You know, let, let, let me, let me tell you stuff, but I'm not going to tell you stuff.

• 1:38:12Tom Segura?

  Right.

• 1:38:13Speaker 09

  Sometimes possibly being passive aggressive when it doesn't need to happen.

• 1:38:16Tom Segura?

  Tanner, we're going to turn this alarming red flag into a positive.

• 1:38:21Speaker 10

  That's a good thing.

• 1:38:22Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's a great thing. You're fine.

• 1:38:24Tom Segura?

  You're good, buddy. You're good.

• 1:38:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  You're gonna be great.

• 1:38:26Tom Segura?

  Safe travels back. Don't hurt anybody.

• 1:38:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, we miss you. Get back here.

• 1:38:30Speaker 10

  Okay, I won't hurt anybody.

• 1:38:31Tom Segura?

  Oh, boy. With a laugh.

• 1:38:36Speaker 09

  So just monitor his path across the state.

• 1:38:38Tom Segura?

  Yeah, for sure.

• 1:38:40Speaker 09

  Because I looked and I was like, that or he's a serial killer.

• 1:38:42Tom Segura?

  That's good.

• 1:38:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Hey, Hope, first of all, I'm very upset that you think I'm crazier than Tom. First of all, I'd like to know.

• 1:38:48Speaker 09

  Well, you're beautiful, by the way.

• 1:38:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  Thank you, babes. So first of all, where do I rank in the, the lineup of the 16?

• 1:38:55Speaker 09

  You, well, four, you would probably, actually, none of yours, neither of you, you guys would be in the top two, two to three.

• 1:39:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  What do you mean, of crazy or of less crazy?

• 1:39:07Speaker 09

  Less crazy.

• 1:39:09Tom Segura?

  Nice.

• 1:39:10Speaker 09

  You guys would be in the tops.

• 1:39:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  Shut the fuck up.

• 1:39:13Speaker 09

  So, no way, dude. We go back to, you guys would be...

• 1:39:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Rerun the test. There's no way.

• 1:39:20Speaker 09

  Yep. You guys would be three and four. You would come above, you would come before Reed.

• 1:39:26Tom Segura?

  Me?

• 1:39:26Speaker 09

  Both of you. Dude.

• 1:39:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  High five, bro.

• 1:39:28Speaker 09

  You guys would come before Reed.

• 1:39:30Tom Segura?

  Yeah, Reed's fucked up.

• 1:39:31Speaker 09

  Yeah. Reed's not bad. No, he's normal.

• 1:39:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wait, so you're saying of all these people that work here, Tom and I are in the-

• 1:39:41Speaker 09

  In the top five.

• 1:39:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  Of healthiest.

• 1:39:43Speaker 09

  Yes.

• 1:39:43Tom Segura?

  Talk about fudge and answers.

• 1:39:46Speaker 09

  Now, after watching Bad Thoughts.

• 1:39:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yo.

• 1:39:50Speaker 09

  Yo.

• 1:39:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  I have a question.

• 1:39:51Speaker 09

  Thank you. What were you doing in the moment you came up with that? Were you on the toilet? Were she doing some dominatrix stuff? Were you drinking?

• 1:40:02Tom Segura?

  The shitty between the legs?

• 1:40:03Speaker 09

  Oh, no, the whole thing.

• 1:40:05Tom Segura?

  Oh, oh, oh.

• 1:40:05Speaker 09

  Um, cause at one point I was gonna say, you know, there's some scenes, I mean, was there pegging going on or something at home? Because you came up with some crazy ass ideas I'm just trying to figure out.

• 1:40:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  Me too. I'm trying to figure out where they're from as well. No, I'm being serious.

• 1:40:19Speaker 09

  Oh, yeah, I, I, I was like, ah.

• 1:40:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  Because I'm like, this is mental health problems. When I saw that show, I'm like, first of all, how many? It's all, it's dick stuff. It was like, he just wants to fuck the world. Is it, is it all oppressed sexual?

• 1:40:33Speaker 09

  What was going on at that?

• 1:40:35Tom Segura?

  Just got renewed for season two.

• 1:40:38Tom Segura?

  Very excited to get back in the writers room.

• 1:40:40Speaker 09

  I think of, I thought of it like a mix between your comedy and Jackass.

• 1:40:45Tom Segura?

  Hmm, interesting.

• 1:40:47Speaker 09

  You know, because Jackass, I sat through some of that. I was like, oh, God. There was one thing I could not get through. And that was with the sister on the back. I actually fast forwarded through that.

• 1:40:57Tom Segura?

  Uh, you're not the only one.

• 1:40:59Speaker 09

  That was the one. I was like, I'm done.

• 1:41:01Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's very curious. Yeah. If very, very, if you were to psychoanalyze. I'm not going to, cause I don't have the degree, but very interesting.

• 1:41:10Speaker 09

  One, I think it is just stemmed in humor of the gotcha effect. The aha, you know, I think it's-

• 1:41:16Christina Pazsitzky?

  Shock and awe.

• 1:41:17Speaker 09

  The shock and awe.

• 1:41:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  Like, he likes to horrify- Cause he likes to horrify his mommy.

• 1:41:21Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 1:41:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, so we're all the collective mom.

• 1:41:23Tom Segura?

  I do like upsetting people.

• 1:41:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, he loves to upset people.

• 1:41:25Speaker 09

  I don't know where it's upsetting, but I, I think there is that sadistic side.

• 1:41:30Tom Segura?

  Hmm, that, that exists.

• 1:41:32Speaker 09

  You know, to have fun with seeing people's reactions and maybe that goes into the attention seeking.

• 1:41:38Tom Segura?

  Yeah, I do like that. I do like seeing people's reactions and I do like seeing somebody get mortified, horrified, scared.

• 1:41:46Speaker 09

  Yes.

• 1:41:47Tom Segura?

  Like, I like, I like doing all those things to people.

• 1:41:49Speaker 09

  So that might be that attention seeking that you were wondering on.

• 1:41:52Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:41:52Speaker 09

  You know, that it's- There's like, the show Jackass is about the attention seeking.

• 1:41:58Tom Segura?

  Right.

• 1:41:59Speaker 09

  Absolutely. You know, I will tell you in the beginning, I was like, damn, he could play a professional. I was impressed. I was like, the first scene, it was walking. I was like, it's gonna be a serious show.

• 1:42:09Tom Segura?

  Yep.

• 1:42:09Speaker 09

  And then he shit himself.

• 1:42:10Tom Segura?

  Hmm. Yeah.

• 1:42:12Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 1:42:13Tom Segura?

  Well, thank you.

• 1:42:14Speaker 09

  I almost paused sessions to finish it.

• 1:42:16Tom Segura?

  Yeah.

• 1:42:18Speaker 09

  But I had to ask, what was going through your mind when you created that?

• 1:42:22Tom Segura?

  Yeah, well, I mean, the thing is, there's so many things going through the mind because a show like that, you develop over time. And, you know, one of them, one of the stories might have come to me like, you know, 15 years ago, and you just have this nugget, and then you try to figure out, how do I write like a short story about this little idea? And then also, so some of them are like, very much my brain going like, this is the story. Some of them are, honestly, because there's a writer's room.

• 1:42:51Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 1:42:52Tom Segura?

  You throw out like a nugget of an idea, and then you have these comedy writers with you, and you guys come up with this.

• 1:42:57Speaker 09

  Everybody's coming up with it.

• 1:42:58Tom Segura?

  Depending on the actual individual story.

• 1:43:01Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 1:43:02Tom Segura?

  I could tell you like, oh, that comes from this, or that came from the room, or that's this thing that's been in my head for 15 years. Like, it changes depending on the story.

• 1:43:10Speaker 09

  What did you think when he had these ideas?

• 1:43:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, I've been, like he said, I've been listening to a lot of these for about 20 years. That's how long he and I have been together. And so I've seen the nuggets, as he said, over the years. They're reoccurring jokes in our world.

• 1:43:23Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 1:43:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  And then the other stuff, I was like, dude, does he just wanna fuck everybody else but me? Like, what is going on? It was like, every sketch, he's banging someone new.

• 1:43:34Speaker 09

  Even the pilots.

• 1:43:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, he's fucking, he's licking the assholes of old the elderly.

• 1:43:38Tom Segura?

  No, they were licking my ass.

• 1:43:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, I'm like, are we gonna open this marriage up? Are you Polly? What's happening?

• 1:43:44Tom Segura?

  I'm Polly Annembi.

• 1:43:46Christina Pazsitzky?

  Maybe.

• 1:43:48Speaker 09

  But I will say to be able to do those scenes, it does show he has a high level of security about himself.

• 1:43:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, about himself, yeah.

• 1:43:55Speaker 09

  Like, he's not insecure about who he is.

• 1:43:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, God, no. This guy loves himself. I'm the one. I think I'm a piece of shit. He thinks he's the God's gift to the world. But that's why I love him, too. I'm attracted to it, but I'm attracted to it.

• 1:44:11Tom Segura?

  I think I'm God's gift to the world?

• 1:44:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's teaching me. Do you understand?

• 1:44:14Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 1:44:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  I wanted that trait, so that's why I was attracted to him. He was so secure.

• 1:44:18Speaker 09

  He gives you that counterbalance where he'll give you the compliments, but yet you probably try to deflect them and say, "Yeah, but..."

• 1:44:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  Doesn't compliment me.

• 1:44:25Tom Segura?

  Liar. This is a big lie. This is huge manipulation.

• 1:44:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  Doesn't she look beautiful today?

• 1:44:29Tom Segura?

  Listen, this is huge manipulation.

• 1:44:31Speaker 09

  I know he does.

• 1:44:32Tom Segura?

  Yeah. And she 100% does what you said.

• 1:44:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  I deflect like crazy.

• 1:44:37Tom Segura?

  Deflect, goes, "I'm uncomfortable. What are we doing?" It just like leaves the... 100%, yes.

• 1:44:42Christina Pazsitzky?

  100%.

• 1:44:43Tom Segura?

  Also, I'm deeply offended by "I think I'm God's gift to the world."

• 1:44:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  You do. Compared to me, who I think I'm a piece of shit.

• 1:44:51Tom Segura?

  This is, this is again what should be flagged on your chart. She's an incredible manipulator.

• 1:45:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  Let me see some...

• 1:45:02Tom Segura?

  Like startling.

• 1:45:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  Wait, am I a manipulator?

• 1:45:04Tom Segura?

  No, I know you are. I don't need her to tell me anything.

• 1:45:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  She's got the fucking shrink here.

• 1:45:09Tom Segura?

  Doesn't matter. I can tell.

• 1:45:10Speaker 09

  You guys are tied on manipulatives.

• 1:45:14Tom Segura?

  But here's the thing.

• 1:45:15Christina Pazsitzky?

  I find it tight.

• 1:45:15Tom Segura?

  She's more...

• 1:45:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Come on, we're sharing traits, you psycho.

• 1:45:19Tom Segura?

  She's certainly more adept at it.

• 1:45:21Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, my God. See, but hold on. Why does he interpret my honesty as manipulation?

• 1:45:25Speaker 09

  So, the difference is...

• 1:45:27Tom Segura?

  Excuse me. No, no, excuse me. "I think I'm God's gift to the world." You don't think that's...

• 1:45:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  I think, I'm sorry, when I say that, I'm comparing it to relative to how I see myself. So, when, relative to my poor self-view, my self-esteem, and you didn't hear the other part to that, which was, I feel like you have the self-esteem, the security, the confidence that I wanted when I met you when we were 20-something, and I emulate that. I actually, it's such a good trait that I want that. I'm just, I'm joking. I'm half, I'm exaggerating because we're doing a show right now.

• 1:46:03Tom Segura?

  Yeah, I find it deeply offensive, and I think, I feel like you are just, you know, a disassociative, borderline, manipulative, narcissistic...

• 1:46:13Tom Segura?

  Terrible person.

• 1:46:14Christina Pazsitzky?

  Well, let the fucking Dr. Hope tell you if I am or not.

• 1:46:16Tom Segura?

  Well, we know that. We already know that you lied.

• 1:46:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'm not a fucking borderline narcissistic. I'm none of those things. Nope. And I don't fucking lie.

• 1:46:24Speaker 09

  But she is close to elevated in psychoticism.

• 1:46:30Speaker 09

  She's, she is elevated in schizotypal.

• 1:46:35Speaker 09

  She's just eccentric.

• 1:46:38Speaker 09

  And then it goes into avoidant.

• 1:46:40Christina Pazsitzky?

  So avoidant.

• 1:46:41Speaker 09

  It's just, it's above average.

• 1:46:42Tom Segura?

  Well, here's the thing. This is why we know she's lying.

• 1:46:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  So avoidant.

• 1:46:45Tom Segura?

  Because she should be your 110% on avoidance.

• 1:46:49Speaker 09

  You got, she scored above average and with OCD.

• 1:46:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  Big time.

• 1:46:54Speaker 09

  Above average, slightly with narcissism.

• 1:46:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'm a comic.

• 1:46:58Speaker 09

  She is lowest with antisocial and antisocial with psychopathy.

• 1:47:04Speaker 09

  She's clinically significant with anxiety.

• 1:47:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Absolutely.

• 1:47:10Speaker 09

  Elevated with attention seeking.

• 1:47:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  Sure, I'm a comic.

• 1:47:13Speaker 09

  Clinically significant with eccentricity. Restricted affectivity. And I think that's.

• 1:47:18Christina Pazsitzky?

  What's that mean?

• 1:47:19Speaker 09

  It's your expressions, trying to express. It's just like, um.

• 1:47:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  Restrict, like, like.

• 1:47:25Speaker 09

  You're kind of like restricted in.

• 1:47:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  Autistic?

• 1:47:28Speaker 09

  How you're, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's, uh, let me find you.

• 1:47:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  I don't share feelings. I don't like them. Yeah, I don't like them.

• 1:47:34Speaker 09

  So, yeah, no, you're just, you hold stuff in.

• 1:47:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, big crammer. It's why I had cancer. I know I cancer ate my body because I can't feel feelings. I don't like to feel them.

• 1:47:44Speaker 09

  Yeah, that will, after hearing, you know, the thing with your mom?

• 1:47:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  Get the fuck out. My mom's a borderline. My dad's a drunk. Good luck. And I was an only child.

• 1:47:50Speaker 09

  And that's why the disengaging, that's your protective.

• 1:47:54Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's, you know, there's a room in my house where I go to disengage. I have a goth room and I sit there and I get weird alone and I have to do it. Otherwise I, yeah, lose my mind.

• 1:48:02Speaker 09

  And that's that. Elevated on withdrawal.

• 1:48:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:48:06Speaker 09

  You know, and that's just that normal.

• 1:48:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:48:08Speaker 09

  You know, that's your normalcy.

• 1:48:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  It is my, I love it.

• 1:48:11Speaker 09

  Your survival skill.

• 1:48:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:48:13Speaker 09

  And that, that going into a room to hide is that, that child emotion, that trauma part saying, I'm gonna take over. But what happens is the prefrontal cortex, the adult brain disengages during that time.

• 1:48:25Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yep.

• 1:48:25Speaker 09

  And that trauma part takes over. Unless there's a healthy communication, they do not function at the same time. The child part engages.

• 1:48:32Tom Segura?

  Hmm.

• 1:48:33Speaker 09

  And this disengages. And then have you guys ever had it, or have you ever watched where you guys have a disagreement? And she's kind of going off the rails, being very reactive, but no, not, and she's trying to explain it, but it makes absolutely no sense. And then suddenly she calms, she calms down. And then all of a sudden she's like, I'm sorry, I don't know why I did that. I don't know why I felt that way.

• 1:48:55Christina Pazsitzky?

  I do know, I'm sorry.

• 1:48:56Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 1:48:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yes, I, the beginning was, I don't know why. Now I've had enough therapy that I've analyzed the shit out of it. And I can actually tell him now, hey, I'm in a, I'm in an episode. I need you to bring me back. And I've, I, he helps me.

• 1:49:10Tom Segura?

  She goes slap the shit out of.

• 1:49:11Christina Pazsitzky?

  Hit me as hard as you can in the face. Peg me. Yeah, he helps bring me back sometimes. We peg all the time.

• 1:49:20Speaker 09

  It answers with all the things on bad thoughts then.

• 1:49:22Christina Pazsitzky?

  So much anal play.

• 1:49:24Speaker 09

  I'm telling you.

• 1:49:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's all assholes. Now, go ahead, what are you gonna, wait, wait.

• 1:49:28Tom Segura?

  No, we just have to rap, Jean.

• 1:49:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  Them, oh, we have to rap when it's your turn.

• 1:49:31Tom Segura?

  No, we do.

• 1:49:32Christina Pazsitzky?

  Interesting.

• 1:49:33Speaker 09

  And so we're at the end. So it, well, no pun intended.

• 1:49:35Tom Segura?

  For coming in.

• 1:49:36Christina Pazsitzky?

  No, you shit turd, I want to hear his fucked up.

• 1:49:39Speaker 09

  But, but real quick, those, those are your trauma parts kicking in and taking over those episodes?

• 1:49:45Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yes.

• 1:49:45Speaker 09

  So I teach people to have their partner learn, hey, that's a child part. Engage a child part, because if you engage as an adult, you're gonna disengage even more.

• 1:49:53Christina Pazsitzky?

  For sure. Yeah, I agree.

• 1:49:54Speaker 09

  So you can't be, he can be rational, you're not gonna be rational.

• 1:49:57Christina Pazsitzky?

  It's not gonna work, yeah.

• 1:49:58Speaker 09

  So.

• 1:49:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  He needs to feel with me, not, not.

• 1:50:01Speaker 09

  He won't be able to feel with you. And before I get to his, when, when we think of this as trauma, or think of this as life, there, we, you know, life is a forest. There's all these forests around the world. Okay, so I don't mean to bore you, but this is one of my explanations is there's all these forests around the world, and there's no two forests that are same. No same entry point. You and I can be born at the same time with a tree between us, and our paths are still gonna be different ahead of us. The obstacles we have, we're going to navigate around. When you look back, there's going to be all of these stones in your path. And those are the experiences you've had that have guided you on your path. So no two paths can ever be compared. We can't truly and honestly compare each other, ourselves to each other because our paths are different.

• 1:50:44Speaker 09

  So he'll never be able to understand or feel what you feel, but he can learn to empathize.

• 1:50:50Christina Pazsitzky?

  Right.

• 1:50:51Speaker 09

  And engage at your level.

• 1:50:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's what I'm saying, like not over, not, not.

• 1:50:55Tom Segura?

  I think that is like the, uh, uh, kind of what happened.

• 1:50:58Speaker 09

  Yeah.

• 1:50:59Christina Pazsitzky?

  Do him, do him.

• 1:50:59Speaker 09

  Okay, so he is high in disinhibition, distractibility, impulsivity.

• 1:51:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah.

• 1:51:05Speaker 09

  He's high in withdrawal.

• 1:51:06Christina Pazsitzky?

  Check.

• 1:51:07Speaker 09

  He's high in eccentricity.

• 1:51:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Check.

• 1:51:10Speaker 09

  So he

• 1:51:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  Withdrawal.

• 1:51:13Speaker 09

  Was higher

• 1:51:16Speaker 09

  in antisocial. He was above average in antisocial.

• 1:51:21Speaker 09

  Antisocial with psychopathy and borderline, the three she was lowest in.

• 1:51:27Speaker 09

  So here's yours.

• 1:51:28Tom Segura?

  Let me tell you something else.

• 1:51:29Speaker 09

  And here's hers.

• 1:51:30Tom Segura?

  But let me tell you something.

• 1:51:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  And I'm fucking crazier than him?

• 1:51:33Tom Segura?

  Something. She fucking deserves it.

• 1:51:35Speaker 09

  Because your schizotypal is higher. Just because your schizotypal and avoidant are higher on the above average. His are slightly above.

• 1:51:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  But he's a fucking borderline, a male borderline?

• 1:51:46Speaker 09

  It's right.

• 1:51:47Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, I knew it. I fucking knew I married.

• 1:51:49Speaker 09

  Everybody will have a copy of theirs.

• 1:51:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  I married a fucking borderline? What else, what else? Borderline and what else?

• 1:51:56Speaker 09

  Antisocial and antisocial with psychopathy. So it's just, which was, had the highest elevation. Was the schizotypal.

• 1:52:04Christina Pazsitzky?

  And I beat him only because of my.

• 1:52:06Speaker 09

  If you look at the.

• 1:52:09Tom Segura?

  Clinically alarming.

• 1:52:10Speaker 09

  The ones that are above average.

• 1:52:12Tom Segura?

  I'm nowhere near.

• 1:52:13Speaker 09

  Had a higher measure.

• 1:52:14Tom Segura?

  Like I'm nowhere near you on any of them.

• 1:52:17Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, but I.

• 1:52:18Tom Segura?

  No, you need to be hospitalized.

• 1:52:19Speaker 09

  It's just funny, you guys debated as who was antisocial.

• 1:52:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, this guy right here.

• 1:52:24Speaker 09

  Those are her three that are the lowest and yours that are the highest.

• 1:52:27Christina Pazsitzky?

  And by the way, my mother was a borderline. I've always been very afraid of being borderline. I'm happy to see that my number's very low because I've worked very hard to not carry those traits.

• 1:52:36Tom Segura?

  I'm way below you on narcissism. Way below you.

• 1:52:41Speaker 09

  So I guess you don't think you're God's gift.

• 1:52:43Tom Segura?

  No, I don't.

• 1:52:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  But maybe you project that and I would like to learn to project that more.

• 1:52:47Tom Segura?

  No, but the thing is, I think you're projecting your narcissism on me.

• 1:52:52Christina Pazsitzky?

  Is that right? Am I? Maybe?

• 1:52:55Speaker 09

  I'll, I think maybe with time, you've also gotten more confident in some ways. You probably started to think better about yourself.

• 1:53:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:53:03Speaker 09

  So which means that that's going to be elevated a little bit.

• 1:53:06Tom Segura?

  Oh, look, you're a real piece of shit here.

• 1:53:08Christina Pazsitzky?

  OCD? I'm, I'm bat shit.

• 1:53:11Tom Segura?

  Big time piece of shit.

• 1:53:12Christina Pazsitzky?

  See, I thought he was way more avoidant than me because he tends to go into his cave and ignore me and the family.

• 1:53:19Tom Segura?

  Look at his POS score here.

• 1:53:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Always checking out on the phone, you know. Well, who's a piece of shit? Where?

• 1:53:23Tom Segura?

  Right here, man.

• 1:53:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  What's that one again? I'm schizo, what's again? The schizo tip, type tip?

• 1:53:28Speaker 09

  The schizo tipple?

• 1:53:29Christina Pazsitzky?

  That's just like a weird, you're weird.

• 1:53:31Speaker 09

  You're eccentric.

• 1:53:31Christina Pazsitzky?

  I love it, I love it.

• 1:53:33Speaker 09

  Yeah, just like, like Bill Murray on Caddyshack, just odd.

• 1:53:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  I'm way crazier than that and you're there.

• 1:53:39Tom Segura?

  You got, you got no antisocial. Wait, I'm curious.

• 1:53:42Speaker 09

  So I let, oh.

• 1:53:42Tom Segura?

  I'm curious, this, this, uh, schizo tipple thing, I feel like we've all scored really, okay.

• 1:53:47Speaker 09

  Everybody I think scores on it, yeah, it's in, but you'll have people that it's really impacts their life. Like, like, you know, where I live, um, there's a young lady. I like to shop at the dollar store because it's the best, you feel like you're a multi-millionaire.

• 1:54:03Christina Pazsitzky?

  So many good snacks in there, yes.

• 1:54:04Speaker 09

  So I like it and there's this, um, young girl, young lady that comes in. I don't know what she's dressed as, it's a mix between hoarding and furry.

• 1:54:15Tom Segura?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's super weirdos.

• 1:54:18Speaker 09

  She wears like big plastic lips.

• 1:54:21Tom Segura?

  You had a great, didn't you say, um, Doc from Back to the Future?

• 1:54:24Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, I like that guy.

• 1:54:25Speaker 09

  Yeah, he's schizo tipple, so like that.

• 1:54:27Tom Segura?

  Super eccentric person.

• 1:54:28Speaker 09

  Yes, so she has that and then her car has not just stickers, but toys glued all over it.

• 1:54:35Christina Pazsitzky?

  But yeah, I'm, I'm not antisocial and I, I, I, because I like, I'm nice to people. And I don't have antisocial with psychopathy, my husband scores very high.

• 1:54:45Tom Segura?

  Not very high, very average.

• 1:54:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  Very

• 1:54:49Tom Segura?

  Very average.

• 1:54:49Speaker 09

  Slightly above average.

• 1:54:51Christina Pazsitzky?

  Anti-social. I can't believe we're this healthy.

• 1:54:55Speaker 09

  But you guys are. You guys were in the tops of being healthy. That's fucking wild. But I see that they don't have Chris.

• 1:55:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, where's Chris Larson on this? Because he's a complete-

• 1:55:05Speaker 09

  He would be number four.

• 1:55:07Tom Segura?

  On crazy?

• 1:55:07Christina Pazsitzky?

  Of healthy?

• 1:55:08Speaker 09

  Unhealthy.

• 1:55:09Christina Pazsitzky?

  Bullshit.

• 1:55:09Speaker 09

  So he's higher on, he's highest, he's elevated on detachment.

• 1:55:13Tom Segura?

  That makes sense.

• 1:55:14Speaker 09

  And he's highest, he's elevated almost clinically significant in OCD.

• 1:55:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Nice, he's a good editor.

• 1:55:22Speaker 09

  And he's high in avoidant.

• 1:55:24Tom Segura?

  Yeah, all those guys are kinda weird.

• 1:55:25Speaker 09

  Everything else is pretty low.

• 1:55:27Tom Segura?

  They stay in the bay. He's kicked a dog. Let's, um, uh-

• 1:55:30Speaker 09

  Ryan is number, hang on, he was number four. Ryan is-

• 1:55:37Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's healthy.

• 1:55:38Speaker 09

  Number five.

• 1:55:39Christina Pazsitzky?

  He's healthy.

• 1:55:40Tom Segura?

  Healthy.

• 1:55:40Speaker 09

  Highest elevated in antagonism. He's deceitful, grandiosity, and manipulative.

• 1:55:49Tom Segura?

  Look at any nine.

• 1:55:51Speaker 09

  And he is on the edge, literally on the edge with antisocial, with psychopathy, and OCD.

• 1:56:01Tom Segura?

  Wow!

• 1:56:02Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, his numbers are high.

• 1:56:03Tom Segura?

  That's fucking high, man!

• 1:56:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  And he's healthy?

• 1:56:06Tom Segura?

  He's also, I'd like to point out, a thief. There's that too. We just learned that this week.

• 1:56:11Speaker 09

  Did he steal your food?

• 1:56:12Tom Segura?

  No, he stole, uh, he stole Tanner's gift.

• 1:56:15Speaker 08

  It was a gift. It was a gift.

• 1:56:16Tom Segura?

  Yeah, he stole it.

• 1:56:17Speaker 09

  That's not, well, that kinda goes, well, maybe that's what the OCD must be.

• 1:56:21Tom Segura?

  It was an honest mistake. Let's call it what it was. It was an honest mistake, right?

• 1:56:24Speaker 08

  He stole it. Okay.

• 1:56:26Speaker 09

  And he was six, and Chris-

• 1:56:28Christina Pazsitzky?

  Alright, we gotta go.

• 1:56:29Speaker 09

  Chris, or, I'm sorry, Carly was seven. Clinically significant with negative affectivity. And highly above average with borderline narcissism and OCD.

• 1:56:42Tom Segura?

  Nice. Love Carly. Carly's great.

• 1:56:44Christina Pazsitzky?

  We're all winners.

• 1:56:45Tom Segura?

  Um, okay.

• 1:56:46Speaker 09

  I got things for everybody. They can take them.

• 1:56:47Tom Segura?

  Yes.

• 1:56:48Christina Pazsitzky?

  Thank you so much, Doc.

• 1:56:49Speaker 09

  This is amazing.

• 1:56:50Tom Segura?

  Thank you for coming in.

• 1:56:51Speaker 09

  This was so fun.

• 1:56:51Tom Segura?

  Thank you for, um, giving us your time and giving us this insight. We know we have some work to do. We have a few people that we are rushing-

• 1:57:00Christina Pazsitzky?

  Not me, I'm perfect.

• 1:57:00Tom Segura?

  Into, uh, therapy sessions. And I will, uh, if he's open to it, I will pay for Tanner to, uh, see you if he's open to it.

• 1:57:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  Yeah, he needs help. Let's get you. Let's get Tanner in.

• 1:57:13Speaker 09

  And if anybody does, you know, I just, I work from home, but I have my own practice and I just, I see everybody virtually, so I like everybody to have control of their environment versus taking them into an environment they're not comfortable in.

• 1:57:27Tom Segura?

  This was, this was really great.

• 1:57:28Speaker 09

  Thank you so much.

• 1:57:29Tom Segura?

  And just as the last, anyway, you know, she's a fucking liar. Thank you guys for watching and we'll see you next week.

• 1:57:55Tom Segura?

  I think you would all be like, this is one sick, twisted, deviant.

• 1:58:02Speaker 01

  The screaming is like, it makes me laugh. I'm literally schizophrenic and dangerous, he's psychotic. Complete lack of emotion. Thank you.

• 1:58:10Christina Pazsitzky?

  I have what's called empathy.

• 1:58:12Speaker 01

  Why do you have that?

• 1:58:13Christina Pazsitzky?

  I think it's a red flag.

• 1:58:14Speaker 01

  He's a psychopath. I'm literally schizophrenic and dangerous, he's psychotic. Complete lack of emotion.

• 1:58:20Christina Pazsitzky?

  Thank you. I have what's called empathy.

• 1:58:22Speaker 01

  Why do you have that?

• 1:58:23Christina Pazsitzky?

  I think it's a red flag.

• 1:58:24Speaker 01

  He's a psychopath. Kill that hooker. Kill that hooker. Kill that hooker.

• 1:58:31Speaker 01

  Kill that hooker. Kill that hooker. Kill that hooker.

• 1:58:36Speaker 01

  Kill that hooker. Kill that hooker. Kill that hooker.

• 1:58:41Christina Pazsitzky?

  I do think you're a serial killer.

• 1:58:43Speaker 01

  I'll kill us both. I swear to God I will. Now you're in an awkward conversation with a serial killer. The screaming is like, it makes me laugh. The screaming is like, it makes me laugh. The screaming is like, it makes me laugh. You're a cop to get murdered. The screaming is like, it makes me laugh. The screaming is like, it makes me laugh. The screaming is like, it makes me laugh. No, just look at him. He's a psycho. Look at his face. The screaming is like, it makes me laugh. The screaming is like, it makes me laugh. The screaming is like, it makes me laugh. Do you know what kind of a psychopath I look like? The screaming is like, it makes me laugh. The screaming is like, it makes me laugh. The screaming is like, it makes me laugh.

• 1:59:26Speaker 04

  This is the best podcast!

• 1:59:29Speaker 01

  I hate who I'm becoming socially. Dude, I'm just saying, Jesus, I've never considered that. No psychological training, you can pick that up. Everything is psychopath. Am I out of my mind? That's right, I'm crazy, remember my face. You know when you just get like real rage like? And then, I fucking killed a guy.

• 1:59:49Christina Pazsitzky?

  What'd you do as a kid? Were you twisting rabbits next? What'd you do as a kid? Were you twisting rabbits next? What'd you do as a kid? Were you twisting rabbits next?

• 1:59:57Speaker 01

  Think you're a fucking shrink right now? Don't go there when you're talking to a sick person. I'll really piss him off and then he'll let it, let me have it.

• 2:00:05Christina Pazsitzky?

  And I know that you suspect that my husband is a psycho. He's a functioning psychopath.

• 2:00:10Speaker 01

  Picks a one and I go, fuck you. Get another habit, you wanna go to work. Evil as this? Something's really wrong with me? Verbal tic. Something's really wrong with me? Verbal tic. Something's really wrong with me? Verbal tic. Something's really wrong with me? Verbal tic.

• 2:00:26Speaker 04

  Sup Hank? Sup champ? Hi, I'm an idiot for a minute! I like how hard, man!

• 2:00:31Speaker 01

  Screaming is like, it makes me laugh. Screaming is like, it makes me laugh. Screaming is like, it makes me laugh. You're about to get murdered. Screaming is like, it makes me laugh. Screaming is like, it makes me laugh. Screaming is like, it makes me laugh. No, just look at the psycho look on your face. Screaming is like, it makes me laugh. Screaming is like, it makes me laugh. Screaming is like, it makes me laugh.

• 2:01:00Tom Segura?

  Do you know what kind of a psychopath I look like?

• 2:01:02Speaker 01

  Screaming is like, it makes me laugh. Screaming is like, it makes me laugh. Screaming is like, it makes me laugh.

• 2:01:55Speaker 02

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