Ben Schwartz & Notoriously Wild

Actor Ben Schwartz (Sonic, Parks & Rec) stops by the studio & Jamie fangirls. Go to www.helixsleep.com/belly https://www.helixsleep.com/belly Spring Savings Event April 1, 2025 → April 30, 2025 20% Off Sitewide Draftkings -- Just sign up with code TIGERBELLY and wager a minimum of five dollars to receive FIVE HUNDRED CASINO SPINS ON A FEATURED GAME. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to www.rocketmoney.com/belly https://www.rocketmoney.com/belly today. Start your free online visit today at www.him.com/belly. https://www.hims.com/hair-start-comparison-dlp?utm_source=AllThingsComedy&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=hims&utm_content=belly&utm_product=medusa&utm_term=rsu&utm_offer=MaleComedy www.him.com/belly https://www.hims.com/hair-start-comparison-dlp?utm_source=AllThingsComedy&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=hims&utm_content=belly&utm_product=medusa&utm_term=rsu&utm_offer=MaleComedy for your personalized hair loss treatment options. www.hims.com/belly https://www.hims.com/belly See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:43Speaker 00

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• 1:27Speaker 01

  Buy until people make 50, so they can fly. Kind of like ironic, Mexican.

• 1:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:33Speaker 01

  Guess what? Nobody laughs.

• 1:37Speaker 01

  Oi! Oh my gosh. Wee, hell yeah.

• 1:49Bobby Lee?

  Ben, you have to work... Ben, they're employees. You have to meet everybody, you know? He's a good guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a good guy, dude. They're employees. Don't talk to me.

• 2:00Speaker 01

  What's up, bro?

• 2:04Bobby Lee?

  You play music in this?

• 2:06Speaker 01

  A little bit.

• 2:07Speaker 00

  Oh, put those headphones on.

• 2:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:19Bobby Lee?

  No, hi mate, please don't sing. You want, you want to have the opening line or what?

• 2:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, can I introduce him?

• 2:24Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you do?

• 2:25Speaker 04

  Big fan.

• 2:25Speaker 00

  Big fan.

• 2:26Speaker 04

  You're a fan of mine?

• 2:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:28Speaker 04

  Oh, we'll see what happens. By the song, by the intro, we'll see, we'll see.

• 2:33Speaker 01

  Okay. Can, uh, can I do a character reference?

• 2:37Speaker 00

  Are you doing the song or a character?

• 2:39Speaker 04

  Can you do the song as my character?

• 2:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:41Speaker 04

  Holy shit, I can't wait for this.

• 2:45Bobby Lee?

  Ready?

• 2:46Speaker 01

  I am John Raphael.

• 2:47Bobby Lee?

  Okay. Bro, but...

• 2:49Speaker 01

  He's the worst!

• 2:51Speaker 04

  Guys, you've stopped the music.

• 2:53Bobby Lee?

  I know, because it, it wasn't... Let me do a couple of bars.

• 2:57Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 2:58Bobby Lee?

  Right, you can just, it's gotta also be in tune, and it's also gonna be in the rhythm.

• 3:02Speaker 04

  But he already blew it, you know what he's gonna do and say.

• 3:04Bobby Lee?

  What, I know, you have to come up with something else now.

• 3:07Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 3:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, that's called improv, guy.

• 3:09Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 3:10Speaker 04

  He said you're big fans, this should be easy, right?

• 3:14Speaker 04

  It's not just that one famous character, you know, like other things.

• 3:16Speaker 01

  I know, uh, uh, Milkman?

• 3:18Speaker 04

  Alright, take your time.

• 3:21Speaker 04

  Couple bars, you tell him when, Bobby.

• 3:23Speaker 01

  Tell me when.

• 3:26Bobby Lee?

  Now.

• 3:27Speaker 01

  Okay, I'm gonna drop a couple.

• 3:29Bobby Lee?

  Uh, do you don't...

• 3:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, you could start from the beginning.

• 3:33Bobby Lee?

  Bro, bro, do you know how music works?

• 3:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 3:36Speaker 04

  And that was an incredible intro, too. The music was unbelievable.

• 3:40Bobby Lee?

  But Ben, I was in the fucking zone, dude!

• 3:42Speaker 04

  I felt it.

• 3:43Bobby Lee?

  You felt it, right, right, a connection, and you fucked it up!

• 3:45Speaker 01

  My, my head.

• 3:46Bobby Lee?

  Uh, it's, what? My, my head?

• 3:48Speaker 04

  My head.

• 3:48Speaker 01

  My pad.

• 3:50Speaker 04

  My, my head.

• 3:51Bobby Lee?

  Ben, I wanna say something to you before we get into the song. Um, we found this kid.

• 3:55Speaker 04

  Oh, where'd you find him?

• 3:56Bobby Lee?

  Um, here in, in this garage. He came with a guy named Ralph Barboza.

• 3:59Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 4:00Bobby Lee?

  You know him?

• 4:00Speaker 04

  No, but the name is great.

• 4:03Bobby Lee?

  It's a really good name.

• 4:04Speaker 04

  It's a great name.

• 4:04Bobby Lee?

  For a Hispanic, that's a top notch.

• 4:06Speaker 04

  Oh my god, okay, I'll let you make those jokes, but I'll be...

• 4:08Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean?

• 4:09Speaker 04

  You gotta keep going.

• 4:09Bobby Lee?

  Well, you think Ralph Barboza's not a good Hispanic name?

• 4:11Speaker 04

  Is it?

• 4:12Bobby Lee?

  I met a Jose, and I'm not really, I'm not digging it. When I meet a Jose, I don't dig it. It's like, come out, I've been there, done that.

• 4:20Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 4:21Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? It's like, you know?

• 4:22Speaker 04

  Be more original.

• 4:23Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 4:23Speaker 04

  How are you not playing piano under this?

• 4:25Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, it's like, meeting a Japanese guy named Yoshi. I don't like it, don't like it. Don't like it. It's like meeting a white guy named Craig. Oh. Big? Ben. Oh, Ben. Oh, yeah. Okay, good. So can we? How about not, how about not? Everyone do a line in this. We're gonna do a line. You too, Joel.

• 4:52Speaker 04

  Is this what the show is?

• 4:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's what the show is.

• 4:55Speaker 04

  Do you sing every show? Does everybody sing every show?

• 4:57Bobby Lee?

  This is a new thing.

• 4:58Speaker 04

  Oh, great. I love it. I can't wait.

• 5:00Bobby Lee?

  It's a new, it's a new, it's a new thing.

• 5:03Speaker 04

  Okay. What do we sing about? You start it.

• 5:07Bobby Lee?

  It's a new, it's a new, it's a new, it's a new thing.

• 5:15Bobby Lee?

  My name is. It's an intro. My name is Bobby Lee.

• 5:20Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 5:21Bobby Lee?

  When it's erect, it's four inches long, but it's thick. No, you can do, this is my talent.

• 5:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, keep going.

• 5:29Bobby Lee?

  It's my talent.

• 5:29Speaker 04

  Don't interrupt that.

• 5:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. It's like a spam can. The thickness of it.

• 5:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, I guess.

• 5:38Speaker 04

  Not the smell of it.

• 5:43Speaker 04

  Thickness.

• 5:43Bobby Lee?

  God, you're good. You're so good, yeah.

• 5:45Speaker 04

  Thickness.

• 5:45Bobby Lee?

  Go, hymen.

• 5:47Speaker 01

  My name is hymen. But sometimes I go by Ernie. It's a character of mine. It's in the works. It's not doing so good.

• 6:01Bobby Lee?

  Jules?

• 6:03Speaker 02

  My name is Jules.

• 6:05Speaker 04

  Wow, and this is every episode?

• 6:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, let her cook, let her cook, let her cook, let her cook.

• 6:11Speaker 02

  You can call me Rudy.

• 6:15Speaker 02

  I'm from the Philippines. I have monkey feet.

• 6:23Bobby Lee?

  Wow, that was, that's a shocker. I know you do have them.

• 6:27Speaker 04

  What does that mean, monkey feet? Is that a?

• 6:29Bobby Lee?

  Time a tree really quickly.

• 6:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:31Speaker 04

  Oh, can you grip on a thing?

• 6:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Ben? Ben?

• 6:36Speaker 04

  My name is Ben.

• 6:39Speaker 04

  I'm sitting next to a spam can.

• 6:43Speaker 04

  And we're all just trying our very best.

• 6:47Bobby Lee?

  So good.

• 6:48Speaker 04

  Okay?

• 6:51Speaker 04

  So let's try our best together today. Today.

• 7:01Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 7:02Speaker 01

  Ben Schwartz.

• 7:03Speaker 04

  Ben Schwartz, everybody. Very excited to be here. Are you sponsored by one of these beverages?

• 7:08Bobby Lee?

  No, but they're for you. We get them for you.

• 7:10Speaker 04

  Thank you very much.

• 7:11Bobby Lee?

  And what a pleasure to have you on the program today. My name is Bob. I'm the captain of the ship. This is my podcast. You know, people think it's other people's, like it's a, you know, I mean, it's mine.

• 7:24Speaker 04

  This is your podcast?

• 7:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 7:26Speaker 04

  How does that make you two feel?

• 7:27Speaker 01

  I'm grateful.

• 7:28Speaker 04

  I'm grateful.

• 7:29Speaker 02

  I'm OK with it.

• 7:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. And I want to give you some of your credits, if I may.

• 7:34Speaker 01

  If I may.

• 7:35Speaker 04

  You want to give me my own credit?

• 7:36Bobby Lee?

  I mean, the audience, you know?

• 7:37Speaker 04

  OK, great.

• 7:38Bobby Lee?

  Audience wants to know.

• 7:39Speaker 04

  OK.

• 7:40Bobby Lee?

  Although they probably do already know.

• 7:41Speaker 04

  No, probably not.

• 7:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 7:42Speaker 04

  I never assume anybody knows who I am.

• 7:44Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 7:44Speaker 04

  Yep, never.

• 7:45Speaker 01

  Can I do it?

• 7:46Bobby Lee?

  OK. All right, you can do it.

• 7:49Speaker 01

  All right, guys, we have the one and only Ben Schwartz from College Humor, Parks and Recreation.

• 7:55Speaker 04

  My first credit is College Humor? All right, we're going into, we're going into, we're going into date.

• 8:01Bobby Lee?

  Go big first, go big and then look.

• 8:03Speaker 04

  No, I like this. College Humor, Parks and Rec.

• 8:05Speaker 01

  Parks and Recs, the House of Cards.

• 8:09Speaker 04

  House of Lies, yeah.

• 8:10Speaker 01

  House of Lies.

• 8:11Speaker 04

  House of Cards.

• 8:13Speaker 01

  And the franchise that saved my relationship with my stepkids, Sonic the Hedgehog.

• 8:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, OK, great.

• 8:20Bobby Lee?

  Wow, amazing. Three Sonic, right, three Sonics.

• 8:24Speaker 04

  You, how many stepkids do you have?

• 8:25Speaker 01

  Two.

• 8:26Speaker 04

  Two, and how old are they?

• 8:27Speaker 01

  Ten and eleven.

• 8:29Speaker 04

  Ten and eleven. OK, we can give them a Sonic voice note. Do you want that before it's over?

• 8:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 8:33Speaker 04

  You don't want, oh, you don't want it?

• 8:33Speaker 01

  No, I'm not with her no more, so.

• 8:38Speaker 04

  So if they're listening, or if she's listening to this podcast, you could have for free and easily said yes and given her something her kids would have loved.

• 8:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 8:45Speaker 04

  But instead, so the world knows who listens to this, you're saying, I don't want them to have that joy.

• 8:51Speaker 01

  Not right now.

• 8:51Speaker 04

  OK, all right.

• 8:52Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 8:53Speaker 01

  Ben Schwartz, everybody.

• 8:55Bobby Lee?

  Thank you. Clap, clap, clap. Very good, very good.

• 8:57Speaker 04

  Very excited to be here.

• 8:58Bobby Lee?

  I mean, what happened to them? Are you still in contact with your stepkids?

• 9:02Speaker 01

  No.

• 9:03Bobby Lee?

  OK. Maybe not the shout out, maybe, though.

• 9:06Speaker 04

  Not a good shout out.

• 9:07Bobby Lee?

  They're out of your life, you know?

• 9:09Speaker 01

  At the time.

• 9:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. So Ben, um... You do improv, still, we talked outside a little bit.

• 9:16Speaker 04

  I do long form improv.

• 9:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 9:17Speaker 04

  Do you guys, has anybody here ever done long form improv? Nope. Yes? There you go.

• 9:21Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 9:21Speaker 04

  Hey, there you go.

• 9:22Bobby Lee?

  It's boring.

• 9:23Speaker 04

  Oh, you think it's boring?

• 9:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I mean, it's, it's a lot.

• 9:25Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 9:26Bobby Lee?

  I've seen Ike do it.

• 9:27Speaker 04

  Oh, Ike's good.

• 9:28Bobby Lee?

  He's very good. I've seen Keegan and Jordan do it.

• 9:30Speaker 04

  They're both incredible.

• 9:31Bobby Lee?

  I think you've seen Mike McDonald do it, and a bunch of people do it.

• 9:34Speaker 04

  You're naming some of the people who are the best at it.

• 9:36Bobby Lee?

  The best in the world.

• 9:37Speaker 04

  Well, I didn't say it like that.

• 9:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, alright. They're great.

• 9:40Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. I don't think that's...

• 9:42Bobby Lee?

  Wow, masters of the second city and the growlings. They did it all.

• 9:47Speaker 04

  And UCB, and UCB.

• 9:48Bobby Lee?

  UCB too. What school do you come from? It's UCB?

• 9:52Speaker 04

  Uh, Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in New York. I was a page.

• 9:54Bobby Lee?

  Woo, la la.

• 9:56Speaker 04

  I was an intern there, so I can afford classes.

• 9:58Bobby Lee?

  You know Amy Poehler?

• 9:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, sure. I was an intern for her show, sure.

• 10:02Bobby Lee?

  We had that bald guy on. What's his, I love him.

• 10:05Speaker 04

  The Bo, Barack Obama?

• 10:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we had Barack, no, the redhead, we love, I did the movies with him.

• 10:11Speaker 04

  Why are you looking at him?

• 10:13Bobby Lee?

  He was a guest. He was in VP, Veeps.

• 10:15Speaker 04

  Veep? Oh, Matt Walsh.

• 10:17Bobby Lee?

  Matt Walsh. He's not from?

• 10:18Speaker 04

  He's not bald, is he? Oh, he's also red.

• 10:20Bobby Lee?

  He's red haired?

• 10:21Speaker 04

  Red haired, yeah, he's the best, he's so funny.

• 10:22Bobby Lee?

  He's not from UCB?

• 10:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, he is, from Upright Citizens Brigade Theater.

• 10:25Speaker 05

  Because we're trying to figure out which one of those is real.

• 10:27Bobby Lee?

  Well, how many people started fucking?

• 10:29Speaker 05

  If you're bald, you can't see.

• 10:30Speaker 04

  Matt Walsh, you're right.

• 10:30Bobby Lee?

  How many people started UCB? How many people started UCB?

• 10:34Speaker 04

  This is what it is.

• 10:35Bobby Lee?

  For, Amy Poehler, right?

• 10:37Speaker 05

  They came from Chicago.

• 10:38Bobby Lee?

  And who has red hair amongst all of them?

• 10:40Speaker 04

  Amy Poehler, Matt Walsh.

• 10:41Bobby Lee?

  There we go, look at him.

• 10:42Speaker 04

  Matt Besser.

• 10:42Bobby Lee?

  He's not bald?

• 10:43Speaker 04

  Maybe he is.

• 10:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:45Speaker 04

  God, he's the best, I love him.

• 10:46Bobby Lee?

  He's so good.

• 10:46Speaker 04

  When I was an intern, I helped him move into his apartment in New York. That was one of the things I had to do as an intern.

• 10:51Bobby Lee?

  Whoa.

• 10:52Speaker 04

  I remember that. He was the best.

• 10:53Bobby Lee?

  Was he, was he cool then, or no?

• 10:55Speaker 04

  He was the coolest then.

• 10:56Bobby Lee?

  Sorry.

• 10:56Speaker 04

  And I had, I was just an intern. I was, I was a very much the lowest of the low, and he was so, all of them were.

• 11:01Bobby Lee?

  You were nervous, were you nervous in the running room a little bit?

• 11:03Speaker 04

  Around him?

• 11:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 11:04Speaker 04

  At the beginning, all of them.

• 11:05Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:06Speaker 04

  They're all heroes, yeah.

• 11:07Bobby Lee?

  Hero, hero.

• 11:07Speaker 04

  I hadn't been on stage yet.

• 11:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 11:08Speaker 04

  They had, they had created the theater that taught me how to do stuff.

• 11:11Bobby Lee?

  Wait, you never, you didn't take any classes by then, or no?

• 11:14Speaker 04

  I was taking, you intern, so you can get free classes.

• 11:17Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 11:17Speaker 04

  So, once you intern, they allow you to take classes for free.

• 11:20Bobby Lee?

  Well, so then you're, then you're a pro at improv, and these two kids here, they don't know much about it. So, maybe we could do like a mini class.

• 11:27Speaker 04

  Do you guys do stand up?

• 11:28Bobby Lee?

  He does, yeah.

• 11:29Speaker 04

  How about yourself?

• 11:30Speaker 02

  No, never.

• 11:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 11:31Speaker 04

  No.

• 11:31Bobby Lee?

  But they don't know the rules. Let me throw some...

• 11:34Speaker 04

  Can I tell you something that'd be so fun and really not boring? Talking about the, the rules of improv. Can I tell you something that's really gonna hit your demographic perfect? Me really breaking down step by step the rules.

• 11:49Bobby Lee?

  Man, fuck you!

• 11:50Speaker 04

  Hit the song, new song, gotta be a new beat. I'll give you the rules, it's gotta be a new beat.

• 11:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. I only do slow music, but... No.

• 11:59Speaker 04

  Oh, that works?

• 11:59Bobby Lee?

  No, it doesn't.

• 12:00Speaker 04

  You can't make a mistake, anything is great.

• 12:03Bobby Lee?

  No, I don't like it. Yeah. So, so, so, ah, I'm so nervous.

• 12:11Bobby Lee?

  Wait.

• 12:12Speaker 04

  Okay, I'll just talk.

• 12:14Bobby Lee?

  Let me get, no, no, no, pa, pa, pa, pa. Oh, pa, pa, please, give you a shot.

• 12:17Speaker 04

  Of course, probably.

• 12:24Speaker 04

  Okay, get me back to the beginning, we can get there. Okay?

• 12:32Speaker 04

  Changing chords?

• 12:35Speaker 04

  Okay, I'm gonna keep going.

• 12:39Speaker 04

  Oh man, that's a tough progression. Can I keep going? Get me? Here are the rules of improv. I'm gonna sing to you nice and slow, you gotta yes and.

• 12:51Bobby Lee?

  Yes and!

• 12:53Speaker 04

  Everybody's eye. Uh, see, tough chord progression.

• 12:56Bobby Lee?

  No, it's not, it's really not, right? You gotta add information.

• 13:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's right.

• 13:02Bobby Lee?

  You gotta always agree, which is yes and, which is yes and, that's all.

• 13:06Speaker 04

  Don't say no to the scene, wanna build it together.

• 13:11Bobby Lee?

  Together.

• 13:11Speaker 04

  Tough progression.

• 13:14Bobby Lee?

  Jose.

• 13:15Speaker 04

  Right, you're going back to your joke?

• 13:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, back to it, yeah. Jose. I don't know what else to say. Yeah, you always did agree, right?

• 13:21Speaker 04

  You have an agree, you're trying to... You want me to keep going?

• 13:24Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 13:26Speaker 04

  And. Yes and.

• 13:28Bobby Lee?

  Yes and.

• 13:29Speaker 04

  The hardest thing is not saying no to anybody's idea. When something comes up, you're building it together and you're creating it, uh, together.

• 13:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, for instance, if I said to you, Jaime, right, uh, you're doing a TED Talk. Okay? And we're gonna give you some arbitrary, uh, is that the right word? Arbitrary job, right? You have to be professional, even though you don't know the, the, the, you know, the, the, the, the, the job.

• 13:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:51Bobby Lee?

  I have speech impediments.

• 13:53Speaker 04

  Do you?

• 13:53Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 13:54Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 13:55Bobby Lee?

  And, um, but you gotta commit to it. And you gotta convince us. What would be, uh, Jaime's, um, profession, you think?

• 14:02Speaker 04

  Okay, so what you're doing is short form improv.

• 14:04Bobby Lee?

  Oh, we have to do long form now?

• 14:06Speaker 04

  Short form improv is when you kinda give everybody everything and say, go.

• 14:09Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I see.

• 14:09Speaker 04

  What we do, which I think you'll love.

• 14:11Bobby Lee?

  Give me long form.

• 14:12Speaker 04

  So what I do is I tour with a show called Ben Schwartz and Friends. Like, this week when we're playing The Beacon, we're playing Sydney Opera House. We're playing these big fun venues, which long form improv has never gotten to play before.

• 14:20Bobby Lee?

  Sydney Opera House.

• 14:21Speaker 04

  I know, it's all very silly.

• 14:22Bobby Lee?

  How many people go?

• 14:23Speaker 04

  Um, to, to, I think, you probably played The Beacon before. Beacon's probably twenty-six-hundred, or, we do Chicago Theater. We did, uh, did Radio City Music Hall, first time for improv, which was very exciting.

• 14:33Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 14:34Speaker 04

  Very exciting.

• 14:35Bobby Lee?

  Me and Andrew sold fourteen thousand seats in Sydney.

• 14:37Speaker 04

  Whoa! Which venues?

• 14:39Bobby Lee?

  I mean, if we're gonna do this game.

• 14:41Speaker 04

  Do you guys play together? Do you guys go on stage together? Does one go out, the other one go out?

• 14:44Bobby Lee?

  No, I do it in two thousand twenty-three, and then he does it three years later at the same place. But at the same time, what are you talking about, dude?

• 14:50Speaker 04

  No.

• 14:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we do it together!

• 14:52Speaker 04

  Do you do it at the same time? Or one person does their set, the other person does their set, and you come on together? Like, a jam band or something?

• 14:57Bobby Lee?

  No, we, no, we just kinda absorb each other, and we become one person. Anyway, my guys, no, we do-

• 15:01Speaker 04

  Wait, I have a question. Now I wanna ask a question about this.

• 15:02Bobby Lee?

  That was so rude.

• 15:03Speaker 04

  Who cares? I have a question. I wanna know, when you guys go up though, because your, your podcast is very much in the moment, right?

• 15:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 15:09Speaker 04

  So, when you're on stage, is everything written, or no?

• 15:13Bobby Lee?

  Well, Ben, you know, we're not as talented as you, so we have-

• 15:16Speaker 04

  No.

• 15:17Bobby Lee?

  I'm sorry.

• 15:17Speaker 04

  You guys are both very good off the cuff.

• 15:19Bobby Lee?

  No, we're not from these institutions that you come from.

• 15:22Speaker 04

  Do you do the same show in every city, or it changes?

• 15:24Bobby Lee?

  We do twenty minutes of stand-up each.

• 15:26Speaker 04

  That's, that's what I just asked! That's what I, you acted like I was crazy!

• 15:30Bobby Lee?

  I know, but it's like your tone!

• 15:31Speaker 04

  You're like, what are you, in state?

• 15:32Bobby Lee?

  I didn't like your tone!

• 15:33Speaker 04

  Okay, alright. Twenty minutes each.

• 15:35Bobby Lee?

  My bad, my bad.

• 15:35Speaker 04

  Do you switch off who opens?

• 15:37Bobby Lee?

  Well, some say, yeah, we get mad about each other, that.

• 15:39Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 15:40Bobby Lee?

  We kinda fight about it in the back.

• 15:41Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 15:42Bobby Lee?

  I mean, sometimes he goes, you know what? The next four shows, you're closing.

• 15:45Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 15:46Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? But then you have to-

• 15:47Speaker 04

  What would you prefer?

• 15:49Bobby Lee?

  I prefer going before him.

• 15:50Speaker 04

  You prefer going first?

• 15:51Bobby Lee?

  Cause we're both good stand-ups, so it's like, it's hard, like, you know, when he goes up, you could just hear, Andrew Santino, and then the, you know what I mean? The wall, you know what I mean?

• 16:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 16:01Bobby Lee?

  And I, I'm sitting there back there, it's like, you got it, you got it, you got it, you know what I mean? And then you go up there, and then the first joke isn't as raucous as any of his stuff.

• 16:11Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 16:12Bobby Lee?

  So then you're like, oh nooo, my ego!

• 16:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:16Bobby Lee?

  It's hard, he's a great stand-up.

• 16:17Speaker 04

  So, you said you were too?

• 16:19Bobby Lee?

  I, I am.

• 16:23Speaker 04

  This is what happens on our show.

• 16:24Bobby Lee?

  I had a burger on my lip, sorry.

• 16:25Speaker 04

  We start the show by, I ask the audience about what the most exciting day or night of their life is, and then I interview an audience member. So it's basically a crowd work off the beginning for 15 minutes.

• 16:34Bobby Lee?

  Mmm.

• 16:34Speaker 04

  We take that information and we make up a whole play or a whole show.

• 16:37Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 16:38Speaker 04

  And that's what the show is.

• 16:39Bobby Lee?

  Wow. And Katie, and Katie does it sometimes.

• 16:42Speaker 04

  Dipple does it. Katie Dipple to work on Mad TV.

• 16:44Bobby Lee?

  Well, I know all these guys.

• 16:45Speaker 04

  That's Eugene Cordero, Filipino. Eugene Cordero.

• 16:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I know him.

• 16:49Speaker 04

  Drew Tarver.

• 16:50Bobby Lee?

  Drew, he's great.

• 16:50Speaker 04

  And Mary Holland.

• 16:52Bobby Lee?

  How do I know Drew? I know Drew. He's from UCB here.

• 16:55Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 16:55Bobby Lee?

  I think I met him through Betsy Sadara.

• 16:57Speaker 04

  Yes, he's close friends with Betsy, and he is in that show Running Point right now on Netflix, and he was in a great show called, um...

• 17:03Bobby Lee?

  It's not about him.

• 17:04Speaker 04

  Say it again?

• 17:05Bobby Lee?

  It's not about him.

• 17:05Speaker 04

  Oh, right, it's about him.

• 17:08Speaker 04

  I'm bad at talking about myself.

• 17:09Bobby Lee?

  Wasn't he on that MTV show? Not MTV show, it was like a show about him being a celebrity or something?

• 17:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was an HBO Max show. I can't believe, I literally, when I bring him out, the, uh, not The Last of Us, my god. Although, the other two, the other two.

• 17:19Bobby Lee?

  The other two, yeah. He was good on that.

• 17:20Speaker 04

  It's great. But that was like The Beacon, so that's...

• 17:22Bobby Lee?

  And then what's her name? Again, I know her.

• 17:24Speaker 04

  Mary Holland.

• 17:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, she's great, too.

• 17:25Speaker 04

  Unbelievable improviser.

• 17:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, um...

• 17:26Speaker 04

  They're all the, everybody I bring is, I think, some of the best improvisers in the universe.

• 17:29Bobby Lee?

  Well, can I tell you what Katie Dipple did to me?

• 17:31Speaker 04

  I can't wait. I love, should we get her on the podcast? Should we call her up?

• 17:35Bobby Lee?

  If you came over here, if she came over here.

• 17:37Speaker 04

  We can call her up, no?

• 17:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we can call her, but let me know what she did first. I've talked about this on this podcast years ago.

• 17:44Speaker 04

  You're saying she did this to you?

• 17:46Bobby Lee?

  She fucked me.

• 17:47Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 17:47Bobby Lee?

  So she was a writer at Mad TV.

• 17:49Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:50Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 17:50Speaker 04

  Oh. This is the story? This is her?

• 17:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, this is the...

• 17:53Speaker 04

  I already know. Do you know this story? No, I don't know. They don't.

• 17:55Bobby Lee?

  All right, so check this out.

• 17:56Speaker 04

  The young...

• 17:56Bobby Lee?

  So back then, we, you know, you know, when you do a table read, now they email you the table read, right?

• 18:01Speaker 04

  Email you the script.

• 18:02Bobby Lee?

  The script, I mean.

• 18:03Speaker 04

  Yep. I'm just trying to help you.

• 18:09Speaker 04

  Just trying to make it work.

• 18:09Bobby Lee?

  All right.

• 18:10Speaker 04

  I'm just here to make it work.

• 18:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Thank you, Ben. So they email you the script, and, um, but back in the day, they would have a guy deliver the script.

• 18:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:19Bobby Lee?

  On a Monday night. And this poor guy would have to go to fucking, what, 40 houses?

• 18:24Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 18:24Bobby Lee?

  It's terrible, right? And so you would get it, and so this is the last table read for Mad TV, and I'd been on...

• 18:31Speaker 04

  The last ever one?

• 18:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 18:32Speaker 04

  Oh, wow.

• 18:33Bobby Lee?

  And I'd been on the show for eight years, the final table read. And so what you do is you rifle through, because it's not like a sitcom, you're not in every sketch. And sometimes you're only in like four. Out of 20 sketches you're gonna-

• 18:48Speaker 04

  Are you writing some of the sketches too, or performers didn't really write them?

• 18:51Bobby Lee?

  No, I just, at that point, I was just like, "Oh, they're not gonna write for me anyway," so I just might as well just accept what they give me, you know what I mean?

• 18:56Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 18:56Bobby Lee?

  They usually gave me a showcase, one showcase one, where I started it.

• 19:00Speaker 04

  Okay, great.

• 19:00Bobby Lee?

  Anyway, um, but there was one sketch, I don't, it was called Cottage Life or something, it was with, um, either Christoph Flannick and Arden Marine, you know Arden?

• 19:09Speaker 04

  No, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I do, very funny.

• 19:11Bobby Lee?

  And so, I'm never in the sketch. For the last four years, they've been doing this sketch, never been in it, but I found my, my character in it, right? And I'm like, "Oh, interesting." But my character in the sketch didn't make any sense.

• 19:25Speaker 04

  Oh, Katie told me this story! Keep going, this amazing story, go, go, this amazing story, go, go.

• 19:32Bobby Lee?

  I told you!

• 19:34Speaker 04

  No, no, Katie told me, go, go.

• 19:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, right.

• 19:36Speaker 04

  If people don't know, this is a great story.

• 19:38Bobby Lee?

  It's a great story, right? So it's like-

• 19:39Speaker 04

  This is a great story!

• 19:41Bobby Lee?

  I know. So, um, so-

• 19:50Bobby Lee?

  Helix for your back. Helix for your back. You guys, Helix is fantasy stuff.

• 20:00Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 20:00Bobby Lee?

  It's where dreams make, come from.

• 20:02Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 20:02Bobby Lee?

  And I love sleeping on dreams, dude. You know what? I have Helix mattresses all over my house.

• 20:07Speaker 04

  Whoa.

• 20:07Bobby Lee?

  And, um, you know, when a guest come over, they go, "Hey dude, I slept like the best night of my life." And I go, "What do you mean?" And they go, "I have, is that the Helix?" I go, "Yeah, that's right." And then they get it themselves, and it goes on and on and on, you know?

• 20:20Speaker 04

  Oh, you're an ambassador.

• 20:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. The reason why I partner with Helix, um, Jaime-

• 20:24Speaker 04

  What?

• 20:24Bobby Lee?

  Um, is because it's great aid the best.

• 20:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:27Bobby Lee?

  Helix mattresses. You can take a quiz, Jaime, and it matches you with your perfect mattress. What do you sleep on, Jaime?

• 20:32Speaker 01

  A floor mat.

• 20:33Bobby Lee?

  You do?

• 20:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:33Bobby Lee?

  Well, you know who also sleeps on floor mats?

• 20:35Speaker 01

  Who?

• 20:36Bobby Lee?

  People that don't sleep on Helixes.

• 20:37Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 20:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and, and I'm gonna say that, I'll, I'll bet your money, dude, that people on Helix mattresses sleep 10 times better than floor mats.

• 20:44Speaker 01

  Well, I have sleep amniotic-

• 20:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, and I think it will help you, dude.

• 20:47Speaker 01

  Yeah?

• 20:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you just take a quiz, and it'll help you.

• 20:49Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 20:49Bobby Lee?

  Okay?

• 20:50Speaker 01

  I'll take it.

• 20:50Speaker 04

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• 20:56Speaker 05

  30th, 20% off sitewide. That's helixsleep.com/belly for the spring savings event, 20% off sitewide. Go to helixsleep.com/belly.

• 21:06Bobby Lee?

  DraftKings Casino. DraftKings Casino. DraftKings Casino. For happiness and joy. You guys, you like getting excited? Oh, yeah.

• 21:22Speaker 05

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• 21:30Bobby Lee?

  You know how I get my excitement, guys? I go to DraftKings Casino, dude. Because new players can get 500 casino spins on a featured game. Let's sign up today, man, with code TIGERBELLY and wager a minimum of $5 to receive 500 casino spins on a featured game. 500 is what I said.

• 21:47Speaker 01

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• 22:30Speaker 06

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• 23:01Bobby Lee?

  In the sketch, he, this character is just interrupting these people. And there are, the lines don't make any sense, like, "I gotta go to the bathroom," or like, you know what I mean? But toward the end of the sketch, it gets crazier, like, "I'm gonna kill everybody in this room."

• 23:16Bobby Lee?

  "I'm a bird," you know what I mean? "Quack, quack, quack, quack," right? And it does not, it's in between lines, right? And at the end, "I'm losing my mind, fuck this place, you know, everyone dies," stuff like that, right? And so, we show up at the table read now, everyone in-

• 23:31Speaker 04

  In person, everybody-

• 23:32Bobby Lee?

  Everyone in person, the network of Fox, the network, right? The producers of the show, all the writers, all the actors, no one knows, they don't have a copy of what I'm saying.

• 23:45Speaker 04

  And you are the longest-running cast member?

• 23:47Bobby Lee?

  No, I mean, Mike McDonald was.

• 23:48Speaker 04

  But you were up there, top five.

• 23:51Bobby Lee?

  And so, um, so no one knows that I'm in the sketch, right? So when they're hearing it, so now, when you go to the table read, it's probably ten people from Fox, a bunch of producers, so you, you have a hundred people in the room. Okay, with staff and everybody, right? And I'm reading it, and every time I say my line, you can see, hear chairs squeak or back up.

• 24:16Bobby Lee?

  Like, you know what I mean, like, "Ah, fuck this place, man, fuck this," you know what I mean? And people just, or, you know, leaning back. And as it goes on, like, "I'm gonna shoot everybody," you know what I mean, "I'm gonna go out of my mind," I would look up to everybody, and people were like sweating.

• 24:31Speaker 04

  Cast members too, right?

• 24:31Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, people are like emailing, you know what I mean, emailing, like, "What the fuck is going on?" Somebody's leaving the room to get security, I, I don't know. And at the end, I'm going, "Quack, quack!"

• 24:43Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean, and doing bird noises. Right, right? And people think I'm losing my mind. And the only one laughing is Katie.

• 24:54Bobby Lee?

  Katie's buckled over, laughing, because no, no one knows, except for her.

• 25:00Speaker 04

  Wait, you gotta explain. She, only in your script is your lines like that. He was not in the sketch at all. You didn't explain that part.

• 25:08Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I didn't, yeah, yeah.

• 25:09Speaker 04

  No one has a different script.

• 25:10Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 25:10Speaker 04

  So, basically, everybody has the same script except for Bobby.

• 25:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 25:14Speaker 04

  And Bobby, it just looks like Bobby is ruining every moment of the sketch.

• 25:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 25:18Speaker 04

  And the only person that knows that you have that script is Katie.

• 25:21Bobby Lee?

  The writer, yeah.

• 25:22Speaker 04

  And you think this is what everybody has.

• 25:24Bobby Lee?

  I think everyone has it, and I'm like, in my mind, I'm like, oh, it's not working.

• 25:28Speaker 04

  Oh, God.

• 25:28Bobby Lee?

  And I'm ruining this long-lasting sketch, you know what I mean? And I read it wrong. I should have asked before.

• 25:34Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 25:34Bobby Lee?

  Like, hey, I should have went to Katie and go, so I don't know, it doesn't make any sense. Why would I even be there? There's no description.

• 25:41Speaker 04

  Why don't I want to kill people?

• 25:42Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 25:42Speaker 04

  Why don't I want to?

• 25:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no description of why I'm there, and like, idiot, I didn't like, ask her.

• 25:48Speaker 04

  So, the whole place, even the cast members, like, this fucking asshole.

• 25:51Bobby Lee?

  He's gonna kill everyone in the room.

• 25:52Speaker 04

  Quacking like a dog, like a duck.

• 25:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 25:54Speaker 04

  Oh, great bet.

• 25:55Bobby Lee?

  Call her.

• 25:55Speaker 04

  Great bet.

• 25:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 25:57Speaker 04

  Let's see if we can get her on the phone.

• 25:58Bobby Lee?

  Oh, my God, it'd be great if she...

• 25:59Speaker 04

  Although, she's really busy. She's...

• 26:01Bobby Lee?

  So, Katie ended up, um, she's a great writer, and she wrote, um, Ghostbusters, the, the female version.

• 26:08Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 26:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 26:09Speaker 04

  She writes, uh, she's incredible. She wrote the heat. She wrote the heat. She's incredible.

• 26:13Bobby Lee?

  Oh, the heat, yeah, that's right, with Adam Ray's in it, Mike McDonald's in it. And then Sandra Bullock, obviously.

• 26:20Speaker 04

  And Minnesota McCray.

• 26:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. I love her.

• 26:22Speaker 04

  Wait, what, what happened after that? Did she tell the entire?

• 26:25Bobby Lee?

  So, then what happened was, there's dead silence when the sketch is over.

• 26:29Speaker 04

  I'll text her.

• 26:29Bobby Lee?

  Maybe a three-second dead silence.

• 26:32Speaker 04

  You can't see my screen, right, with all the cameras?

• 26:33Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, there's no one, no one.

• 26:35Speaker 04

  Who cares?

• 26:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, uh, if you did, we would blur it out, or, yeah, um, but, um... And then Katie stands up, and she explains to the room what it is. And then everyone starts laughing, but I'm sitting there with tears in my eyes, shaking, I'm shaking. Right? Like, I'm gonna kill this bitch.

• 26:55Speaker 04

  I'm gonna shoot this place up.

• 26:59Speaker 04

  Wait, did she come clean during the thing?

• 27:00Bobby Lee?

  No, after the sketch was done, there was a dead silence. Cause the sketch bombed, right?

• 27:06Speaker 04

  Of course, you ruined it.

• 27:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, a five to seven silence.

• 27:10Speaker 04

  Okay, here she comes. You wanna finish your story?

• 27:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, go.

• 27:14Speaker 04

  Dippled, you're on the podcast, is that okay?

• 27:16Speaker 06

  Oh my god, I guess so, yes.

• 27:18Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 27:19Bobby Lee?

  Katie!

• 27:20Speaker 04

  Oh, can you hear Bobby or no?

• 27:21Speaker 06

  Hi Bobby!

• 27:22Bobby Lee?

  Hi Katie, so explain to Ben what you did to me at Mad TV with that sketch.

• 27:28Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 27:29Bobby Lee?

  What was the sketch called?

• 27:31Speaker 06

  Oh...

• 27:32Bobby Lee?

  Cottage, it was a cottage, it was art.

• 27:34Speaker 04

  Cottage Life, she knows it, by the way, she knows everything about it.

• 27:40Speaker 06

  So, there's a lot of nuance, there's a lot of nuance to this story, okay? Now, first of all, someone came on and they wanted to do a prank on Bobby and they wanted to just send like...

• 27:52Speaker 04

  Do you not know this part?

• 27:53Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 27:53Speaker 04

  Oh, Bobby doesn't know this part?

• 27:55Bobby Lee?

  I don't know this part.

• 27:56Speaker 06

  Okay, this was, oh god, someone wanted to do a prank where they just sent Bobby like a fake bad sketch. And that was, and just that.

• 28:07Bobby Lee?

  I fucking hate it!

• 28:10Speaker 06

  And I just came alive.

• 28:17Speaker 06

  Every creative muscle I could use towards the show went to this. I said, "Hold on, what if we send Bobby a sketch that's like an existing sketch everyone has, only his is different?"

• 28:34Speaker 06

  And so, okay, you have to, this was really scary for me because I was so excited about this. But then, for the first time ever, I love Bobby, Bobby you know I love you so much.

• 28:45Bobby Lee?

  I love you so, too much, too much of us.

• 28:47Speaker 06

  It was so much fun, like the time of my life, he's a scoundrel.

• 28:51Speaker 07

  But in the best

• 28:54Speaker 07

  I was always delighted, but for some reason on this one day, he never did this before. But before the table read, he came up to me and he was like,

• 29:01Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I did?

• 29:02Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 29:03Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I thought I didn't. Okay.

• 29:05Speaker 07

  And he's like, how am I, how do you think I should read this? And I suddenly felt so guilty.

• 29:12Speaker 07

  To make this work. And I'm like, oh, God, this is terrible. I shouldn't have done this. And now I'm like shaking. And

• 29:18Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 29:19Speaker 07

  It's also like a table read. It's like the network is there.

• 29:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 29:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:23Speaker 07

  Everyone.

• 29:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 29:24Speaker 04

  He said it was the final, was it the final one of the Okay, great.

• 29:28Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 29:28Speaker 04

  Great.

• 29:29Speaker 07

  So at least we were already getting canceled. So you had that.

• 29:34Speaker 07

  And it's so it's Krista and Arden.

• 29:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 29:37Speaker 07

  And Keegan.

• 29:38Bobby Lee?

  Keegan Michael Keegan, yeah.

• 29:40Speaker 07

  And so I specifically changed Bobby's lines. I added Bobby's lines so that it seems like he's commenting on the sketch. If that makes sense.

• 29:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:51Speaker 07

  So like when Krista's character is in love with Arden and Arden doesn't realize it. I had Bobby say, fool, she's in love with you.

• 30:00Speaker 04

  Oh, like he's on the outside commenting on it.

• 30:03Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 30:04Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's what it was.

• 30:06Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 30:06Bobby Lee?

  I forgot. It's years ago.

• 30:07Speaker 07

  Kind of like, okay, all right, sure, Bobby. Yes.

• 30:15Speaker 07

  And so the first time it happens, to be honest, I didn't know how far it would go. Like the first time it happened, I kind of thought we'd, everyone would figure it out quickly. But it, no one did. No one knew what was happening. Bobby just committed to this part. And I'm like, oh, my God, this is working too well. I, this is, what have I done?

• 30:34Bobby Lee?

  What was it my, Katie, what was my face like?

• 30:37Speaker 07

  You're, you were like, you had your kind of, you know, when you kind of put your head in your hands and you're reading a sketch sometimes?

• 30:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 30:44Speaker 07

  I think you seemed, you're going along with it. Like, okay, let's see what happens.

• 30:48Speaker 04

  He was committing. He was committing.

• 30:50Speaker 07

  He was committing.

• 30:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:51Speaker 07

  And so that was killing me.

• 30:56Speaker 07

  And so the lines are like, uh, they're so, someone, Keegan made a joke. Like there's some moment of Keegan and Bobby goes, Oh, here we go. And so like he's just consistently commenting on the sketch. And then finally it's

• 31:10Bobby Lee?

  At the end, I start losing my mind, no?

• 31:13Speaker 07

  Yes, and I never thought we'd get that far.

• 31:18Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I see.

• 31:20Speaker 07

  I was sweating.

• 31:22Bobby Lee?

  Okay, but also Katie, what's the room like? Like, are you looking at the executives or?

• 31:27Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 31:27Bobby Lee?

  What are they, what are they doing?

• 31:29Speaker 07

  I, I feel like, cause I also, I didn't really tell, like I mentioned to our head writer, Jim Wise, like a second before, like, hey, just so you know, I did a little prank.

• 31:38Bobby Lee?

  Oh, so Jim knew?

• 31:39Speaker 07

  It's a crazy thing to do.

• 31:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 31:41Speaker 04

  On the very last one where everybody's just trying to like get out and be happy.

• 31:45Speaker 07

  Yes, and so then, um, he has this whole monologue at the end, which it's like, okay, enough, enough of this, you know, it's my time to shine. Like, I have something to say.

• 31:57Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I see, that's what it was.

• 31:58Speaker 04

  Did you do that?

• 31:59Bobby Lee?

  I think so, yeah.

• 32:00Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 32:00Bobby Lee?

  So there was no violence. In my mind, there was some sort of violence or they, they thought I was gonna do something in the room, but maybe that I

• 32:06Speaker 07

  Oh, I'm sorry, to answer your question, yes, I was looking around the room and it was just, people looked confused.

• 32:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 32:12Speaker 07

  Stressed out, kind of like snickering to each other, like, what the fuck is Bobby doing?

• 32:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 32:17Speaker 07

  That was the vibe.

• 32:18Bobby Lee?

  Wow, okay.

• 32:19Speaker 07

  And it delivers this monologue to the level of commitment I've never seen before.

• 32:24Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 32:25Speaker 07

  Just like, and it reaches the very end and everyone is quiet, like laughing, like, what is happening?

• 32:32Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 32:33Speaker 07

  And it's, I finally just, I just muttered out, that was only in your script.

• 32:37Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 32:38Speaker 04

  Did people go crazy?

• 32:40Speaker 07

  Then they got, went crazy, everyone finally got what was happening.

• 32:43Bobby Lee?

  What was, what was I like?

• 32:45Speaker 07

  It took you a couple moments to process what I mean.

• 32:49Speaker 04

  Do you wait, Katie, do you remember what the blackout line was? That like his last one after the end of his monologue, what he ended on?

• 32:54Speaker 07

  Honestly, he was like cawing.

• 32:57Bobby Lee?

  The bird, the bird, the bird. Yeah, I remember there was a bird part. I was caw, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what it was.

• 33:04Speaker 07

  And then you, uh, and then I ran over to like hug you, but then you, you was just laid down on the floor.

• 33:10Speaker 04

  Katie, that's an incredible story.

• 33:12Bobby Lee?

  Thank you Katie, I love you.

• 33:14Speaker 04

  I appreciate it.

• 33:14Bobby Lee?

  Hey Katie, I also want to see you one day, like get coffee or something, whatever. We'll figure it out. I love you so much, Bobby, I really do. Give Katie Dipple a round of applause.

• 33:21Speaker 04

  I did, love it. Talk soon. Oh my gosh. I mean, what else, that's the best.

• 33:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, well, I mean, no, I mean not, because it's like, it's like, I relived, I just relived it.

• 33:33Speaker 04

  You must have been mortified.

• 33:34Bobby Lee?

  I was mortified.

• 33:35Speaker 04

  Mortified.

• 33:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, it's, and also you don't know what's going on, like when even, when she's trying to explain it, in my mind, I'm like, I don't, like you're not fully grasping what it is.

• 33:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 33:45Bobby Lee?

  Until it finally hits you, and then you're like, I mean, it was, it's a network, regular TV show with real, like, you know, execs and, you know, people with suits, and you know what I mean, the whole fucking thing, you know what I mean?

• 33:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:55Bobby Lee?

  And you don't want, you don't want to embarrass yourself, it's also stressful. You like table reads, you like them?

• 34:01Speaker 04

  Um, I think it's like, when it goes well, they're fucking great.

• 34:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:06Speaker 04

  When it goes well, it's the most exciting thing in the world, or if you find like a bit that works, or like, you know what I mean? And if you can make the writer's words look awesome, then the writer's like so thankful, and you know?

• 34:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:15Speaker 04

  But if it goes poorly, and it's, and like the episode's going a little bit slow, you're like, oh, it feels like it's taking forever.

• 34:21Bobby Lee?

  Sometimes you're drowning almost, I feel like.

• 34:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:24Bobby Lee?

  I mean, I've done table reads where I looked at the writer, I went, I'm so sorry.

• 34:27Speaker 04

  No.

• 34:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I've done all kinds of weird things.

• 34:30Speaker 04

  That's so funny.

• 34:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I mean, I've, what, I was on a sitcom called, sorry, Ozempic burps.

• 34:36Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 34:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:38Speaker 04

  Are you on Ozempic?

• 34:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I am.

• 34:39Speaker 04

  What does it feel like?

• 34:40Bobby Lee?

  What's, we govy, so I feel, I feel great.

• 34:43Speaker 04

  Oh, it's a candle. Wait, so how, how much lost, how much weight have you lost?

• 34:46Bobby Lee?

  Probably 20 pounds now.

• 34:47Speaker 04

  Really?

• 34:48Bobby Lee?

  Oh yeah.

• 34:48Speaker 04

  Do you feel different?

• 34:49Bobby Lee?

  I feel great, it doesn't get any more women, I did it for women, but it seems to go against, yeah.

• 34:55Speaker 04

  Is there a certain weight that you're trying to cap at?

• 34:57Bobby Lee?

  I want to dwindle down to Ken Jeong.

• 35:01Speaker 04

  The person, not the weight.

• 35:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the person.

• 35:03Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 35:04Bobby Lee?

  I want, you know, cause he has like a Gollum-esque body.

• 35:07Speaker 04

  Yeah. He does?

• 35:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, skinny arms, but a belly, a little bit, yeah, mythological. Yeah, I want to go mythological.

• 35:13Speaker 04

  Love Ken.

• 35:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, he's a great guy.

• 35:15Speaker 04

  Great guy.

• 35:16Bobby Lee?

  Although he tried to punch me once, but.

• 35:17Speaker 04

  They got in a fist, they got in a fistfight. Really?

• 35:20Bobby Lee?

  Well, he swang, I didn't.

• 35:22Speaker 04

  God, all this is like weird stories.

• 35:26Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, I've, no, I've had a tumultuous.

• 35:28Speaker 04

  Ken Jeong is like the nicest.

• 35:30Bobby Lee?

  I know, that's the problem.

• 35:31Speaker 04

  Bro, this is MySpace day. What else, who else, you said what? This is MySpace days. What, you got in a fight because of MySpace stuff?

• 35:38Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah. I've been in fights with everybody, I'm going to give you an example, this is, oh, I don't know if I should show this. Um, let me, maybe we can blur it out, or we can cut it out.

• 35:46Speaker 04

  Can you show me?

• 35:47Bobby Lee?

  I can show you, yeah, so, um, a writer from Mad, right? Goes, this is what you did to me every day. Right? And if I, well, let me, I'd walk into his office like this every day.

• 35:59Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, you, you'd be done, that's it.

• 36:02Bobby Lee?

  Now, right?

• 36:02Speaker 04

  It's a rap.

• 36:03Bobby Lee?

  In today's, in today, yeah, I know, I know.

• 36:06Speaker 04

  Hundred percent.

• 36:07Bobby Lee?

  It's a rap.

• 36:07Speaker 04

  It's a rap, you're done.

• 36:08Bobby Lee?

  But back in the day, you could do this.

• 36:10Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 36:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:11Speaker 04

  Don't show the camera, you're done.

• 36:13Bobby Lee?

  No, I used to walk into people's office naked.

• 36:16Speaker 04

  Really?

• 36:16Bobby Lee?

  Go, hey, what are you writing for me today?

• 36:18Speaker 04

  Cock, cock.

• 36:20Bobby Lee?

  I mean, it was like, you know, I think that a lot of the reasons why I don't work as much as I think I should, or whatever, is because of my reputation a little bit, although.

• 36:29Speaker 04

  You think you're a very different person now than you.

• 36:30Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, so, you know, in the last three or four years, you know, I did Sex and the City, Reservation Dogs, Borderlands.

• 36:37Speaker 04

  As a person. He's talking about your character.

• 36:39Bobby Lee?

  No, what I'm saying is, no.

• 36:42Speaker 04

  Do you care my credits? Yeah, I was like, what are you pitching right now?

• 36:45Bobby Lee?

  No, Ben, Ben.

• 36:45Speaker 04

  You cover IMDb. My star meter is fucking changed.

• 36:50Bobby Lee?

  No, Ben, that's not what I was.

• 36:51Speaker 04

  You said you made a lot of mistakes when you were a kid, are you different now? You're like, well, you have a three-episode arc in Sex and the City. What?

• 36:58Bobby Lee?

  No, Ben, Ben, Ben, fuck you for a second.

• 37:00Speaker 04

  You've done three ads for.

• 37:01Bobby Lee?

  But what I'm saying is that when I'm on sets now, right?

• 37:05Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 37:06Bobby Lee?

  I'm the complete opposite guy. I show up an hour before.

• 37:10Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 37:10Bobby Lee?

  I know my lines, I'm dressed, I don't complain, I know everyone's names. I play it completely different. But in the beginning, in 2000 is when I booked Mad.

• 37:20Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 37:20Bobby Lee?

  I was straight from the open mics at The Comedy Store.

• 37:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:24Bobby Lee?

  I was a stand-up, never done sketch. I don't know how TV works. I don't know how anything works. I've never been in front of a camera, right? So I had to learn how to like, what a mark is. I had to learn what a jib camera is. It's gonna be years to learn how to do it.

• 37:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:38Bobby Lee?

  And I was very wild, like, you know what I mean? I was crazy.

• 37:41Speaker 04

  Notoriously so. I feel like a lot of stories that I've heard, I've never met you before, but a lot of the stories that I hear are that. But also, they are always followed up with, he's the funniest fucking dude.

• 37:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I mean, I learned how to, you know, I'm in, you know, through therapy and dealing with my trauma and all that stuff. What?

• 37:57Speaker 01

  AA.

• 37:58Bobby Lee?

  AA.

• 37:59Speaker 01

  AA.

• 38:00Bobby Lee?

  AA, bro. Is that Hispanic? Oh, you're saying AA though?

• 38:02Speaker 01

  AA.

• 38:03Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I mean AA.

• 38:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay.

• 38:05Speaker 01

  Alcoholic.

• 38:07Speaker 04

  I think you got it.

• 38:09Bobby Lee?

  I don't know what AA is. You know what I mean? Yeah, but I think that, you know, anyway, I don't want to talk about me. I don't want to talk about me. But, um, yeah, I was a little wild.

• 38:15Speaker 01

  Let's talk about Ben. Get to know Ben. Let's get to know Ben. I don't want to get to know Ben.

• 38:22Bobby Lee?

  Okay, let's, dude.

• 38:24Speaker 01

  I'm fanboying, my bad.

• 38:25Bobby Lee?

  I know, but, hi, man. Can I just say something?

• 38:28Speaker 04

  I could talk to just hi, man.

• 38:29Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 38:30Speaker 01

  Wait, the thing is that.

• 38:31Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, but let me just finish. I, I, I know, but.

• 38:34Speaker 04

  Are you gonna explain what AA is?

• 38:35Speaker 01

  No, no, no.

• 38:36Bobby Lee?

  It's a long, it's a long pod, right?

• 38:38Speaker 01

  Long form.

• 38:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's long form pod.

• 38:40Speaker 01

  Improv.

• 38:40Bobby Lee?

  It's long form pod, all right? And he still hasn't even taught us about long form yet. So we're gonna get there in a second.

• 38:46Speaker 04

  No.

• 38:46Bobby Lee?

  So do you have some questions? Yes!

• 38:48Speaker 04

  I've mostly just been listening.

• 38:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. So do you, do you have any questions for Ben then, that you're curious about?

• 38:53Speaker 04

  Bobby, does this mean that you have none prepared?

• 38:55Bobby Lee?

  I never prepare.

• 38:56Speaker 04

  I mean, but you know nothing.

• 38:57Bobby Lee?

  Well, I know your credits.

• 38:59Speaker 04

  Give me two.

• 39:00Bobby Lee?

  Parks and Rec.

• 39:01Speaker 04

  Nope, he already said it. Give me two of them.

• 39:02Bobby Lee?

  Um, um, I think you were in that Renfield.

• 39:05Speaker 04

  Okay, all right. Okay, there you go. Hi, man, let's go.

• 39:07Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, fuck you, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 39:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, I can give you one.

• 39:11Bobby Lee?

  You did a Lego movie, I think, remember?

• 39:13Speaker 04

  I did do a Lego movie.

• 39:14Bobby Lee?

  Because I was in a Lego movie, I didn't Google it, I don't know.

• 39:16Speaker 04

  Were we in the same Lego movie?

• 39:17Bobby Lee?

  No, I was in the ninja one.

• 39:18Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 39:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, the bad one. I was in the one that no one watched.

• 39:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, I didn't watch. Yeah, I was in that too.

• 39:24Bobby Lee?

  What else have you done? You don't know a lot of animation, I know.

• 39:26Speaker 04

  Who cares?

• 39:27Bobby Lee?

  I know, but my point is, is that you wanted to ask me if I knew you.

• 39:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:30Bobby Lee?

  And I'm just saying that you were being rude.

• 39:33Speaker 04

  Go ahead, Hymen. I thought I was gonna catch you in you.

• 39:35Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, go ahead, Hymen. No, I'm a huge fan, I've been trying to get you on this for years.

• 39:38Speaker 04

  You're so nice.

• 39:39Bobby Lee?

  I'll go.

• 39:40Speaker 01

  You forgot one, Duck Tales?

• 39:41Speaker 04

  No, you don't have to talk about Chris, I'm sorry. But I do wanna talk. Hymen, what do you, tell me what you got.

• 39:45Bobby Lee?

  Duck Tales, really?

• 39:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:47Bobby Lee?

  What did you play in Duck Tales?

• 39:48Speaker 04

  I played Dewey in Duck Tales.

• 39:48Bobby Lee?

  Go ahead, other questions?

• 39:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, man.

• 39:50Speaker 04

  Are you an animation fan?

• 39:53Speaker 01

  Somewhat, but more live action.

• 39:55Speaker 04

  Well, live action, okay.

• 39:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go, go, questions, go, come on, Larry King.

• 39:59Speaker 01

  Well, it's because I never thought I would meet you, that's why.

• 40:01Bobby Lee?

  Okay, go ahead.

• 40:02Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 40:02Bobby Lee?

  This is your time.

• 40:03Speaker 01

  So I was watching Parks and Rec, and, um, I was like flipping through the channels, I was like in high school when it came out.

• 40:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:10Speaker 01

  You know what episode caught me was the, um, uh, I love that episode of when Andy and April get married.

• 40:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, great episode.

• 40:18Speaker 01

  You, yeah.

• 40:18Speaker 04

  I remember it.

• 40:19Speaker 01

  And I was like, what is this?

• 40:20Bobby Lee?

  Well, he was on the show, so.

• 40:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, no, I know, but I'm like, because I never watched shows like that, and I was like, what is this show? And I just got hooked on because it was so funny, you and Aziz, and, um, like improv, like.

• 40:32Speaker 04

  He's getting nervous.

• 40:34Speaker 01

  I am getting nervous because like, you know, I was like, oh, I'm watching this show, I don't think I'll ever meet this guy. But, yeah, I'm here with you now.

• 40:43Speaker 01

  No, so like, um.

• 40:44Speaker 04

  You don't have to be nervous at all, who ca, look at me.

• 40:47Speaker 01

  It's like, so your scenes were improvised or scripted?

• 40:50Speaker 04

  Oh, all the scenes are scripted, and then we would do something called Fun Run. You ever have one of these where you do?

• 40:55Bobby Lee?

  Dude, I'm king Fun Run.

• 40:56Speaker 04

  Hell, yeah. So you do, there's literally.

• 40:58Bobby Lee?

  I invented it.

• 40:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, there's a, there's literally takes after we have it in the bag where they're like, alright, we got it, do whatever you want. And we would all go nuts, and that's kinda like, that's where I get to really improvise, stuff like that.

• 41:08Speaker 01

  And most of your scenes, like?

• 41:09Speaker 04

  There's a bunch of Fun Runs in there. That's a great question, there's a bunch of Fun Runs in there, and also, as we did it more and more, I'd like, you could see my character kinda comes, becomes a cartoon a little bit, because I get more comfortable and stuff like that, and then I just kept going, and they just let me keep going. So if you look at the beginning of Parks and the end of Parks, I'm like a normal person, and I'm a straight up cartoon.

• 41:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:27Speaker 04

  That's it, yeah.

• 41:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:28Speaker 01

  But I enjoyed it.

• 41:29Speaker 04

  Thank you, man, I appreciate it.

• 41:31Speaker 01

  Don't be suspicious, don't.

• 41:33Speaker 04

  This is great.

• 41:33Speaker 01

  No, I just remember, and it's just, there's a lot of scenes to remember. This is like Vince Wong, just do Fred Claus for the wedding.

• 41:43Speaker 00

  Sure, yeah.

• 41:44Speaker 01

  That's what, that's just how I remember, my bad Bobby.

• 41:47Speaker 00

  This is great.

• 41:47Speaker 01

  This guy's good.

• 41:54Bobby Lee?

  Rocket, rocket money. Woo hoo. Rocket money. Yeah. Rocket money. Woo hoo. Rocket money. You guys, um, I don't know about you, but I'm bleeding money. You know how I'm bleeding it?

• 42:08Speaker 00

  How?

• 42:08Bobby Lee?

  Through my subscriptions.

• 42:10Speaker 00

  Come on Bobby.

• 42:10Bobby Lee?

  On my apps. I have so many meditation subscriptions, right? Game subscriptions, I don't even play. They charge you monthly fees, right?

• 42:19Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 42:19Bobby Lee?

  And it's blind. I don't know what's going on. But you know what Rocket Money does?

• 42:22Speaker 00

  What?

• 42:23Bobby Lee?

  It consolidates all that, right? So you can see whatever that you're bleeding, you can access. You're right, and, and, and, and stop the bleeding. Like if I stabbed you, would you stop the bleeding?

• 42:32Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 42:32Bobby Lee?

  Exactly. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money has over five million users and has saved a total of five hundred million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to seven hundred and forty dollars a year when using all of the app's premium features.

• 42:55Speaker 00

  Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com/belly today. That's rocketmoney.com/belly. Rocketmoney.com/belly.

• 43:14Bobby Lee?

  Hims, here for your life. Here for Hims. Hims provides you with all the convenient access to a range of hair loss treatments that work all from the comfort of your couch.

• 43:27Speaker 00

  Wow, wow.

• 43:28Bobby Lee?

  Hims makes treating hair loss simple with doctor trusted options and clinically proven ingredients like finasteride and minoxidil.

• 43:38Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 43:38Bobby Lee?

  That regrow hair in as little as three to six months, man.

• 43:41Speaker 01

  Choose from personalized, chewable, oral spray, serum treatments to find what works best for you.

• 43:49Speaker 00

  Start your free online visit today at hims.com/belly. That's H-I-M-S dot com slash belly if you're personalized. Hair loss treatment options. Hims dot com slash belly.

• 43:59Speaker 05

  Results vary based on studies of topical and oral minoxidil and finasteride. Prescriptions products require an online consultation with a healthcare provider who will determine if a prescription is appropriate. Restrictions apply. See website for full details and important safety information. Hims for your life.

• 44:16Speaker 01

  Hims here for your life.

• 44:26Speaker 04

  This is great.

• 44:27Speaker 01

  This guy's good.

• 44:29Speaker 01

  And I like, I'll watch it and I like, I want to.

• 44:30Speaker 04

  The podcast? Cause it was going so well. You and I were vibing. Now everybody doesn't like each other.

• 44:35Bobby Lee?

  It's, it's the piss break. Go ahead.

• 44:38Speaker 04

  What's the piss prank?

• 44:39Bobby Lee?

  The piss break.

• 44:40Speaker 04

  Break. Oh, this is the piss prank.

• 44:41Bobby Lee?

  Like when it, sometimes when.

• 44:42Speaker 04

  People gotta take a piss.

• 44:43Bobby Lee?

  When you're doing a stand up like with 20 people and there's always one comic, people just walk out to go to the bathroom.

• 44:48Speaker 04

  Oh my god.

• 44:49Speaker 01

  I'm the comic?

• 44:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 44:50Speaker 04

  Is that a phrase that you're like, oh, that comic's a piss break? Oh my god, that's brutal.

• 44:55Bobby Lee?

  Oh, the other night I was on stage.

• 44:56Speaker 04

  20 comics? Is there ever a lineup with 20 people go on? Is that a real number?

• 45:00Bobby Lee?

  There's probably 12. I exaggerated, maybe 12 to 15.

• 45:04Speaker 04

  So four, three hours?

• 45:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 45:05Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 45:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, the comedy store goes from like eight to two in the morning.

• 45:09Speaker 04

  Wow, man.

• 45:09Bobby Lee?

  It's a constant show, but sometimes it's a piss break and I feel bad for the guy. I've been to piss break many times.

• 45:15Speaker 04

  Really?

• 45:15Bobby Lee?

  Oh dude, one time I followed Sebastian Manoskalko. This is when he first found his voice. Cause he was a bad comic in the beginning.

• 45:22Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 45:22Bobby Lee?

  And then once he found his voice, I remember in being in the OR and I followed him and I was so cocky. I'm like, I'm gonna follow, you're right.

• 45:29Speaker 04

  Wait, what's the OR?

• 45:30Bobby Lee?

  Original room at the comedy store. And then I remember people just getting up and then other people going, bring back Sebastian. And I remember, oh, he's improved. I took him lightly.

• 45:42Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 45:43Bobby Lee?

  Anyway, any other questions?

• 45:45Speaker 01

  Uh, what advice would you give?

• 45:47Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god.

• 45:49Speaker 01

  What?

• 45:50Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god.

• 45:52Speaker 01

  Cause I kinda wanna try improv, I like.

• 45:54Speaker 04

  Oh yeah, if you want it for improv?

• 45:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, I take, take classes and go do it. I think get on stage. The only way, same, you're gonna say the same thing for standup, I assume. The only way to get better at that stuff is to do it and fail. Like, I failed so much. I feel like you go up there, you take a risk, you fail, you learn from that mistake, and then you get up again. You keep trying to get up, and taking classes is the way you kinda learn the form, and then you kinda go and go and go. But that's, I mean, that's probably same as standup. It's like you just gotta fail so much. And just want it, you gotta love it so much.

• 46:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 46:22Speaker 04

  That you're okay with it being hard for a while.

• 46:25Bobby Lee?

  Here's what I say to young people that are starting. I go, um, don't live in the results. Which means, don't be doing standup because I'm gonna get this, this, and this, and that. You gotta do it for the love of the thing.

• 46:38Speaker 04

  That's a great line.

• 46:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. So just do it, not expect anything, and do it because of the craft, okay? And secondly, um, it is a, um, I can't believe we're getting into this fucking.

• 46:48Speaker 04

  You're doing really well.

• 46:49Bobby Lee?

  But what I'm saying is.

• 46:50Speaker 04

  I feel like I've never seen you do this before. This is amazing.

• 46:51Bobby Lee?

  So Ramsey, you know, the guy that, you know, he was on the pod.

• 46:54Speaker 04

  Gordon Ramsey.

• 46:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 46:57Speaker 04

  Gordon Ramsey.

• 46:58Bobby Lee?

  Um, so Ramsey, who opens for me, he did Long Beach with me and Andrew, and it was, we talked about when he was on it, and it was like twenty-three thousand people, I don't know. And his last joke, the mic fell off.

• 47:11Speaker 04

  The bottom, so nobody heard what he's saying?

• 47:13Bobby Lee?

  So he struggled to put the thing back into the mic thing, and he kinda bombed at the end. Cause it let it affect him. But I told him afterwards, I go, dude, you gotta come with a bit, right? When that happens, cause you know it's gonna happen. We all have bits when that happens.

• 47:29Speaker 04

  Is that true?

• 47:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 47:30Speaker 04

  What's yours? Can we hear it?

• 47:32Bobby Lee?

  Don't worry about it, my people made this shit. I don't, whatever, you know what I mean, whatever it might be, you know what I mean? But they're, uh, or I'll do.

• 47:38Speaker 04

  I'll get back to it.

• 47:38Bobby Lee?

  Or I'll do a cappella jokes. I don't need a mic.

• 47:41Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 47:42Bobby Lee?

  And I'll go into the audience, do my, whatever it might be.

• 47:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:44Bobby Lee?

  But it's like, um, there are ways around. So improv is the same way. I mean, you trial and error, you know? And so, um. Long form. Can we go back to long form real quick? Cause I wanna know. So you do one premise and then um you just.

• 48:00Speaker 04

  A series of scenes. So we talked to somebody. Well, so like there one, I just posted one on Instagram, which is we talked to someone and they're like, I sn- I I say, what's the most exciting night or day of your life? And they said, we snuck into a John Legend concert. And I was like, amazing, tell me how you did it. And we found out and the whole show was kinda like a play. Where we'll do a bunch of different scenes in a row and they all call back to each other. And in the end, if we do it right, it feels like one complete piece.

• 48:21Bobby Lee?

  Wow, that's incredible.

• 48:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:22Bobby Lee?

  When it's done right, yeah.

• 48:23Speaker 04

  When it's done perfect, it's like ma- it feels like a magic trick. It feels like, how the hell did they do that? How do they call that? But it feels like everything was exactly where it should be for the whole show.

• 48:31Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 48:32Speaker 04

  When it felt random at the beginning and then we tie it all together.

• 48:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, even you saying it made me super nervous.

• 48:38Speaker 04

  You gotta come see a show.

• 48:39Bobby Lee?

  I've seen, I already told you, I've seen fucking long.

• 48:42Speaker 04

  How long ago?

• 48:42Bobby Lee?

  And I get, uh, 20 years ago.

• 48:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, come, come to a show.

• 48:45Bobby Lee?

  I used to go to Improv Olympic and see all those guys do.

• 48:47Speaker 04

  Oh, they're.

• 48:47Bobby Lee?

  Like, like, you know, like, you know, Jordan and Keegan. I used to hang out with those guys every night.

• 48:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:53Bobby Lee?

  And I used to go and watch them do it and it's like, um, wow, they've, what a career they've had.

• 48:58Speaker 04

  Wait, Ben, have you done stand up? I tried stand up at the very beginning. So at the very beginning, I tried stand up and improv and sketch at the same time to see which one I wanted to do. So I went up at Boston Comedy Club in New York a couple times.

• 49:09Bobby Lee?

  Good room, yeah.

• 49:10Speaker 04

  I think it's probably gone by now, but then Stand Up New York I went up at. But it did bringer shows and then I did well enough in a bringer show that they let me come up, not get paid, but come up without bringing people. And I was like, oh, my god.

• 49:22Bobby Lee?

  That's good.

• 49:22Speaker 04

  So I went up and I, I bombed and it was the worst feeling in the world. I mean, I bombed in improv before starting up and it's different because I'm with my friends and we're bombing together and we could talk about it afterwards, how bad that felt and what we could do better.

• 49:36Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 49:36Speaker 04

  But I was like, these are the things that I find funny. I'm gonna say them and see what happens. And this time, nobody I know is in the audience because it wasn't a bringer show.

• 49:43Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 49:43Speaker 04

  And so it was just like, I was excited that I got there quick, but then I was like, and then I learned that I just love creating with people. I love being in a scene with someone and we create something out of nothing. I love not knowing what's gonna happen and then we create a whole fucking show. So that stuff was exciting to me.

• 50:00Bobby Lee?

  But Ben.

• 50:00Speaker 04

  I think stand up is harder.

• 50:02Bobby Lee?

  It's not.

• 50:03Speaker 04

  I think.

• 50:03Bobby Lee?

  I think it's easier.

• 50:04Speaker 04

  I think because you have to write, you have to rewrite a thousand times. It's a different muscle.

• 50:09Bobby Lee?

  It's a different muscle, but it's also going into a thing where you, you don't know at all what the fucking topic's gonna be or anything. It seems very scary to me.

• 50:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:17Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? It's like, you know, right?

• 50:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:20Speaker 01

  No, I just had a thought in my head.

• 50:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, what was the thought?

• 50:22Speaker 04

  What scene were you thinking about?

• 50:23Bobby Lee?

  What were you thinking?

• 50:25Speaker 04

  What TV show?

• 50:26Bobby Lee?

  What the fuck were you thinking, dude? That's insane.

• 50:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was referencing another scene from him.

• 50:31Speaker 04

  I knew it!

• 50:32Bobby Lee?

  What are you doing?

• 50:33Speaker 04

  He's in love with him, dude.

• 50:35Bobby Lee?

  Are you uncomfortable?

• 50:36Speaker 04

  No, I'm fine.

• 50:37Bobby Lee?

  It's so weird!

• 50:38Speaker 04

  I was trying to do a bit like you didn't know anything. Now I felt bad from there and I didn't know what the fuck was going on. I thought you really took offense. I was like, oh no, I don't know well enough. Did that really make you unhappy? That's what I'm thinking.

• 50:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, no, no, no, that was...

• 50:49Speaker 04

  You're fine.

• 50:50Bobby Lee?

  I'm P?

• 50:51Speaker 04

  We're great.

• 50:51Bobby Lee?

  You and I are great.

• 50:52Speaker 04

  Great, okay. So it's timing.

• 50:53Bobby Lee?

  I feel like a connection.

• 50:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:55Speaker 04

  We can do this.

• 50:56Speaker 01

  Are we great?

• 50:58Bobby Lee?

  It's getting weird now, I think.

• 50:59Speaker 04

  No, we are great.

• 51:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 51:00Speaker 04

  I would love to answer it.

• 51:01Bobby Lee?

  Also, he opened for me in Houston. And so I had some ladies come in the back.

• 51:05Speaker 04

  Who did?

• 51:06Bobby Lee?

  Jaime did.

• 51:07Speaker 04

  You did?

• 51:07Bobby Lee?

  I was just there this weekend.

• 51:09Speaker 04

  How'd you do? How'd he do?

• 51:10Bobby Lee?

  He did great.

• 51:11Speaker 04

  Oh, come on, man.

• 51:12Bobby Lee?

  And one day he went, between shows he goes, "Can I go longer?"

• 51:16Speaker 04

  Oh, that doesn't sound like him. What did he sound like?

• 51:19Speaker 01

  I was like, I was like...

• 51:20Speaker 04

  Can I go 12 minutes?

• 51:22Speaker 01

  I was like, can I go 12 minutes?

• 51:24Speaker 04

  It's a little different. I think, I think. But wait, do it again. Maybe do, say the same sentence, it'll be easier.

• 51:29Bobby Lee?

  I mean, no, no, hold on. I think you're being rude.

• 51:32Speaker 04

  Okay, I might be, I might be. I just want to hear your impression of him. I just want to hear your impression. Before you, I just want to hear your impression.

• 51:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Okay, go ahead.

• 51:38Speaker 04

  Say one sentence.

• 51:39Speaker 01

  Hey Bobby, can I do 12 minutes?

• 51:40Speaker 04

  Okay, great, now you.

• 51:42Bobby Lee?

  Hey Bobby, can I do 12 minutes?

• 51:43Speaker 04

  How do you...

• 51:44Speaker 01

  Does it sound insane?

• 51:45Speaker 04

  It's, he's getting closer.

• 51:46Bobby Lee?

  I, I, I think what you're doing is you're being a little racial, because I think you're looking at my little Asian face. I think that's what you're doing. I think I was...

• 51:53Speaker 04

  I'm not looking at your LAF. I'm not looking at your LAF. I'm not looking at your LAF.

• 51:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm doing exactly the way he's doing it, but you're looking at my Asian eyes.

• 52:00Speaker 04

  I'm not looking at your AEs.

• 52:05Speaker 04

  It just seems like you were really pushing his act.

• 52:07Bobby Lee?

  Can I be honest with you? Since you've been here, you've been looking at my AEs?

• 52:10Speaker 04

  I'm not looking at your AEs. I'm not looking at your LI.

• 52:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:13Speaker 04

  Okay, but you crushed, you had a great set.

• 52:15Bobby Lee?

  He did very good, but he's not good socially. He won't shut the fuck up.

• 52:20Speaker 04

  You mean afterwards?

• 52:21Bobby Lee?

  So I had these four girls come backstage.

• 52:23Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 52:24Bobby Lee?

  Right, and I wanted to get them out. But this guy becomes Larry King again.

• 52:28Speaker 04

  Wingman.

• 52:28Bobby Lee?

  And I'm like, shut the fuck up. And you're like, so, you like your jobs?

• 52:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, different accent, yeah.

• 52:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you know what, man? You fucking do it!

• 52:35Speaker 04

  Sure, go. Just say any sentence.

• 52:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it was his sentence.

• 52:38Speaker 04

  Say any sentence.

• 52:39Speaker 01

  So, what line of work do you guys do?

• 52:41Speaker 04

  So what line of work do you guys do? Actually, that's pretty good. Right?

• 52:46Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 52:47Speaker 04

  That's what you sound like. Do you want to hear it? No, you do it. Do that line.

• 52:49Bobby Lee?

  You say it again.

• 52:50Speaker 04

  No, yeah.

• 52:51Bobby Lee?

  You say it again.

• 52:51Speaker 04

  Okay, great.

• 52:51Speaker 01

  What line of?

• 52:52Speaker 04

  And really, and really try to, really try to

• 52:55Bobby Lee?

  Oh, this is the

• 52:55Speaker 04

  Hear how he speaks.

• 52:56Bobby Lee?

  This is the last time we do this, Ben.

• 52:57Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 52:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:59Speaker 04

  Go ahead.

• 53:00Speaker 01

  What line of work are you guys in?

• 53:02Bobby Lee?

  What line of work are you guys in?

• 53:03Speaker 04

  That's great. That's great. You've become a perfect impersonation. Now do, um, do Morgan Freeman in Shawshank.

• 53:10Bobby Lee?

  You do it first and I'll do it.

• 53:11Speaker 04

  No, no.

• 53:14Bobby Lee?

  Andy Frame.

• 53:15Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 53:18Speaker 04

  Actually, pretty good.

• 53:18Bobby Lee?

  What's his last name?

• 53:19Speaker 04

  Andy Dufresne.

• 53:19Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I said Frame.

• 53:20Speaker 04

  Yeah. Andy Dufresne. Has Morgan Freeman been on the?

• 53:24Bobby Lee?

  No, he'll never, no, we don't get, you know, me and that. Who's the biggest, who's the biggest thing we've had?

• 53:29Speaker 04

  That as in celebrity?

• 53:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, no, wait, wait. Who's the biggest thing we've had?

• 53:32Speaker 04

  God, it would be so funny if Morgan Freeman was here and was like, "Yeah, so, um, Driving Miss Daisy, there's a couple scenes."

• 53:38Bobby Lee?

  Oh, my God.

• 53:39Speaker 04

  "I want to talk to you about a couple scenes in Driving Miss Daisy."

• 53:41Bobby Lee?

  There's no way.

• 53:42Speaker 04

  What?

• 53:42Bobby Lee?

  I couldn't have you and Morgan on the same.

• 53:45Speaker 04

  First name basis.

• 53:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, there's no way.

• 53:46Speaker 04

  You and Morgan?

• 53:46Bobby Lee?

  Um, yeah, I think the biggest one is, ah, we've had pretty big people.

• 53:51Speaker 04

  I'm sure you've had a billion big people.

• 53:52Speaker 01

  You're pretty big, though.

• 53:53Speaker 04

  Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm small potatoes. I'm small potatoes.

• 53:57Bobby Lee?

  But you're one of those guys, though, that are like, everyone knows you.

• 53:59Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 54:00Bobby Lee?

  I think Lisa Gilroy talked about you once. I mean, just people talk.

• 54:03Speaker 04

  She's very funny.

• 54:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, people talk about you all the time.

• 54:05Speaker 04

  She's crush on this pocket. She probably crush.

• 54:07Bobby Lee?

  She's done it.

• 54:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, she's done it.

• 54:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I feel like, you know, I was talking to Jenna Fisher. I had dinner with Jenna and Angela from The Office, ladies.

• 54:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:14Bobby Lee?

  Last week. And, you know, it

• 54:16Speaker 04

  Oh, you would have so many questions for them.

• 54:17Bobby Lee?

  No, there was no way that's ever gonna happen.

• 54:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, come on.

• 54:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. But, um, you know, we treat it like we're on a show, TV show.

• 54:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 54:24Bobby Lee?

  That's what it feels like.

• 54:25Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 54:26Bobby Lee?

  You know, um, it's, and the numbers are as good as a lot of TV shows, even more. So it's like, um,

• 54:33Speaker 04

  It's so exciting. And you have influence now, Bobby. You can do it.

• 54:36Bobby Lee?

  You have a pod?

• 54:37Speaker 04

  No, I haven't done a podcast yet. I've guessed it in many of them.

• 54:39Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 54:40Speaker 04

  Uh, it's a lot of work, isn't it?

• 54:42Bobby Lee?

  Not really.

• 54:42Speaker 04

  It seems like a ton of work. Fifty-two episodes a year? That seems like so much fifty-two hours.

• 54:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but like, if we first started-

• 54:48Speaker 05

  Not for the talent. You can just show up for one hour a week, you're good.

• 54:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you get people to do it.

• 54:52Speaker 04

  One hour a week is still fifty-two hours.

• 54:54Bobby Lee?

  I know, but I wake up, walk downstairs, they're all set up, everything's going.

• 54:58Speaker 04

  It's in your house.

• 54:58Bobby Lee?

  Right. And then I do it, and I go back upstairs, and that's it.

• 55:02Speaker 04

  It's pretty ma- your setup is pretty incredible.

• 55:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I mean, it was always like that, no?

• 55:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, in the beginning. We've been doing this for what, ten years?

• 55:07Speaker 04

  Ten years.

• 55:08Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 55:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 55:09Speaker 04

  That's amazing.

• 55:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. So, um, you could do it, but if you don't want to, don't. There's a lot of people in the game, too.

• 55:14Speaker 04

  There's a lot of people now.

• 55:15Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 55:15Speaker 04

  A lot of people.

• 55:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 55:16Speaker 04

  Uh, so because I do Ben Schwartz and Friends, I have control of that. I get to figure out where I'm gonna tour, I get to pick who I wanna perform, and then I'm like, I feel like a lot of stuff in our industry, we don't have control of. Like, I don't get to control what auditions come in.

• 55:28Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 55:29Speaker 04

  I can write movies and I can, you know, sell them, but I don't get control if they get made. And this is, I control my tour, and then I control what I do with the audio. What you're doing is you have complete control of your career now. You can make your money through that. You can do ads through that. It's your- I feel like more and more people are learning that we can kind of-

• 55:46Bobby Lee?

  But Ben-

• 55:46Speaker 04

  -take control-

• 55:47Bobby Lee?

  I get what you're saying.

• 55:48Speaker 04

  -of our careers a little bit more.

• 55:49Bobby Lee?

  Bingo. Right on.

• 55:50Speaker 04

  That's what I'm trying to say. Instead of just being up to everybody else.

• 55:53Bobby Lee?

  What I'm saying is, this is back to what I was gonna say. You're right. Is, is that I feel like I was, and Andrew and I felt like this, we were forced into doing it.

• 56:02Speaker 04

  Oh, interesting.

• 56:03Bobby Lee?

  Like, where it's like, you know, like, where you get probably- how many auditions a year do you get?

• 56:09Speaker 04

  Auditions are so weird now. Let's say before-

• 56:10Bobby Lee?

  Before, uh, before the pandemic.

• 56:12Speaker 04

  Quite a bit, yeah.

• 56:12Bobby Lee?

  How many a year, you think?

• 56:14Speaker 04

  Um, I don't even know. Offers and auditions, I don't know. They kinda like-

• 56:18Bobby Lee?

  Hundred?

• 56:19Speaker 04

  No, less than that.

• 56:20Bobby Lee?

  Sixty?

• 56:21Speaker 04

  Sure. In a year, let's say sixty.

• 56:23Bobby Lee?

  I would get three.

• 56:24Speaker 04

  Okay, let's say I get five.

• 56:28Speaker 04

  Do you know what I mean?

• 56:30Bobby Lee?

  I think five.

• 56:32Speaker 04

  Five.

• 56:33Bobby Lee?

  So I would get three to four, right?

• 56:35Speaker 04

  Five.

• 56:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, no, no, no. And so, and everyone else was getting, you know, because I have a lot of friends.

• 56:40Speaker 04

  It's very different now. There's very few additions.

• 56:42Bobby Lee?

  I get zero now. I get zero now. You know what I mean?

• 56:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, the industry is very injured.

• 56:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I get one or two now, right? So my point though being is, is that me and Andrew are in the same boat. So we're like, what do we do? Cause we just do stand up.

• 56:53Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 56:54Bobby Lee?

  So we were forced into the space. Sometimes now people are like high level actors and stuff like that, that are already working their, you know, I mean, in every fucking thing. They do it too. So that kind of makes me, it's like, we were like forced into the situation, man.

• 57:07Speaker 04

  Well, you took control of your career. I think that's what it is.

• 57:10Bobby Lee?

  Out of desperation. You don't think that I want to be like Ken Jeong flying first class?

• 57:14Speaker 04

  I think, I think it's out of you seeing that you have a skill set.

• 57:17Bobby Lee?

  I, I fly first class. I know.

• 57:21Bobby Lee?

  I know, I know. Yeah, yeah.

• 57:22Speaker 04

  Only light on seats. Only light on seats. Uh, no, but I think it's you saw that you guys could do this and so you did it. You have the skill set and you're, you'd be good at this.

• 57:30Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 57:31Speaker 04

  So you do it because of that.

• 57:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:32Speaker 04

  Cause a lot of people would love to be able to do this.

• 57:34Bobby Lee?

  I don't want to talk about me.

• 57:35Speaker 04

  All we've done is talk about you.

• 57:37Bobby Lee?

  I know, and it feels, it feels weird.

• 57:38Speaker 04

  This entire thing.

• 57:39Bobby Lee?

  So Ben, let's go back to you. Jules, you haven't said shit.

• 57:43Speaker 02

  Um, hello.

• 57:44Speaker 04

  How are you?

• 57:46Speaker 04

  How are you? How's everything?

• 57:47Speaker 02

  Good.

• 57:48Speaker 04

  Good.

• 57:48Bobby Lee?

  So let me explain Jules real quick. So then, um, Jules, um, is, um, my ex-girlfriend's Khalyla's niece.

• 57:54Speaker 04

  Okay, cool.

• 57:55Bobby Lee?

  Now, Jules.

• 57:56Speaker 04

  How old are you?

• 57:57Speaker 02

  Twenty-three.

• 57:58Speaker 04

  Twenty-three, wow.

• 57:58Bobby Lee?

  But when she was in high school.

• 57:59Speaker 04

  How old are you?

• 58:00Bobby Lee?

  Fifty-three.

• 58:01Speaker 04

  Oh my God. Okay, great.

• 58:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. So when she was in high school.

• 58:04Speaker 04

  Twenty-eight. Good.

• 58:05Bobby Lee?

  We didn't, really didn't ask.

• 58:06Speaker 04

  And I want to hear what your closing joke is before we're done.

• 58:08Bobby Lee?

  Okay. But in high school, she moved here from the Philippines and she went to, you know, high school here. You know what I mean? And so, um, she doesn't like podcasts. She doesn't want to do them, but people seem to really love her.

• 58:20Speaker 04

  Because you don't want to be here.

• 58:22Speaker 02

  I guess.

• 58:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Over a hundred thousand now. Well, how many followers do you have on Instagram? Hundreds of thousands?

• 58:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 58:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and she doesn't post, she doesn't give a shit about it, she doesn't want...

• 58:33Speaker 04

  What are you passionate about? Like, if someone gave you a microphone and let you talk about whatever you want to talk about, what would you talk about?

• 58:38Bobby Lee?

  Surfing.

• 58:39Speaker 02

  Maybe anime?

• 58:41Speaker 04

  Anime?

• 58:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:41Speaker 04

  Which anime are you into?

• 58:43Speaker 02

  Uh, right now, One Piece.

• 58:45Speaker 04

  One Piece, not, I thought you were gonna say One Punch Man, One Piece.

• 58:47Speaker 02

  I als- you watch One Punch?

• 58:49Speaker 04

  I have, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 58:50Speaker 02

  Are you, you like anime?

• 58:51Speaker 04

  I, I am not, I learned who people, people who are into anime are really into anime. And I am not that. I wish I put the hours in, but my hours are put into like Simpsons and all my cartoons when I was a kid. To start anime from where I was and to like start drag, there's so much stuff. But I, I watch like, I've seen that, but I don't know the one that you're talking about.

• 59:11Speaker 02

  You should try it, it's really good. But there's like a thousand epis-

• 59:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's why, that's why I'm scared of it, because there's a thousand-

• 59:16Speaker 04

  That's what I can't do.

• 59:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I can't do it.

• 59:17Speaker 04

  It's just-

• 59:18Bobby Lee?

  A thousand?

• 59:18Speaker 04

  I like completing things too.

• 59:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, me too.

• 59:20Speaker 04

  So I'm like, if I have to keep going, I'd lose my mind.

• 59:22Bobby Lee?

  Me too, yeah.

• 59:23Speaker 02

  But you're not gonna die anytime soon, so you have time.

• 59:26Bobby Lee?

  Thank you. Thank you, Dr. Jules.

• 59:29Speaker 04

  Thank god for Ozempic, right?

• 59:31Bobby Lee?

  Do you play, uh, video games, Ben?

• 59:33Speaker 04

  Love video games.

• 59:34Bobby Lee?

  What do you play?

• 59:34Speaker 04

  Oh, wait, we're probably, I'm 43, you're, oh, okay, so what did you grow up with? Oh, I can talk video games.

• 59:39Bobby Lee?

  Okay, okay.

• 59:40Speaker 04

  Don't do this unless you really wanna do this.

• 59:41Bobby Lee?

  No, I'm already doing it.

• 59:42Speaker 04

  What were your consoles growing up?

• 59:44Bobby Lee?

  Growing up?

• 59:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 59:45Bobby Lee?

  Well, oh, you wanna go back? In television.

• 59:47Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 59:48Bobby Lee?

  That's way back-

• 59:48Speaker 04

  Were you playing Pitfall?

• 59:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, in the 70s.

• 59:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 59:51Bobby Lee?

  I'm, I'm, I started with Pong.

• 59:52Speaker 04

  Pong, and yeah, you ever play Zork, that word?

• 59:55Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, Zork was fun, yeah.

• 59:56Speaker 04

  I played that one, I was okay.

• 59:57Bobby Lee?

  And so, and then, you know, when you, in my twenties, I was poor, so I didn't play at all.

• 1:00:02Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:00:02Bobby Lee?

  I couldn't afford anything.

• 1:00:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:03Bobby Lee?

  But then when I started making money, you know, when Halo started happening, we used to like hook up all our-

• 1:00:07Speaker 04

  So you missed all Nintendo, Super Nintendo, Genesis-

• 1:00:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, all that stuff.

• 1:00:10Speaker 04

  N64 PlayStation, and you only came back when Xbox came out.

• 1:00:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but is that okay?

• 1:00:15Speaker 04

  It's great.

• 1:00:15Bobby Lee?

  Thank you.

• 1:00:16Speaker 04

  You're just missing my golden years.

• 1:00:17Bobby Lee?

  I know, but in the last 10 years, what's your favorite games?

• 1:00:19Speaker 04

  Oof, okay, uh, Inside, you ever play Inside?

• 1:00:22Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 1:00:22Speaker 04

  Oh, my god, it's so good.

• 1:00:24Bobby Lee?

  What is Inside?

• 1:00:24Speaker 04

  Inside is developed, one person, I believe, made the whole thing, or two people made the whole thing. It's a side-scroller, it's so interesting and dark, and has, you beat it in four hours, so you can finish it in the night. And it has the weirdest ending of any video game ever made.

• 1:00:37Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 1:00:38Speaker 04

  The guy who made it also made a game called, uh, Limbo, which is-

• 1:00:40Bobby Lee?

  I love Limbo.

• 1:00:41Speaker 04

  Dude.

• 1:00:41Bobby Lee?

  I play Limbo.

• 1:00:42Speaker 04

  This is better than Limbo.

• 1:00:43Bobby Lee?

  It's not better than Limbo.

• 1:00:44Speaker 04

  It is.

• 1:00:45Bobby Lee?

  I don't like side scrolls all.

• 1:00:46Speaker 00

  Looks like.

• 1:00:47Speaker 04

  Dude, it's a, you're gonna go crazy. It's such a good game.

• 1:00:49Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god.

• 1:00:51Speaker 04

  And it's so weird and unique, and it's scary and it's spooky.

• 1:00:54Bobby Lee?

  I just played one like this where I'm in a yellow rain jacket and I couldn't do it. I was so scared.

• 1:00:58Speaker 04

  Oh yeah, that's more like, I know what you're talking about. That's a, it is a scary one. You have to like do puzzles and stuff?

• 1:01:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:03Speaker 04

  And time, you can change time a little bit?

• 1:01:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, it was too scary. But this like seems great.

• 1:01:07Speaker 04

  Dude, it's great.

• 1:01:08Bobby Lee?

  This is a side scroller still though.

• 1:01:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, I love side scrollers.

• 1:01:11Bobby Lee?

  This is side scroll?

• 1:01:12Speaker 04

  It is, yeah.

• 1:01:12Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:01:13Speaker 04

  It is.

• 1:01:13Bobby Lee?

  And there's puzzles, there must be puzzles.

• 1:01:15Speaker 04

  Uh, kinda, yeah. It's more like figuring it out.

• 1:01:17Bobby Lee?

  Do you ever play Stardew Valley?

• 1:01:19Speaker 04

  No, what's that? I don't play PC games. Is it all kind, what kind of games you play?

• 1:01:25Speaker 00

  He loves a good farming simulation.

• 1:01:27Speaker 04

  Oh, is it just a farming simulation?

• 1:01:28Bobby Lee?

  It's not just, man.

• 1:01:29Speaker 04

  I'm sorry.

• 1:01:30Bobby Lee?

  I didn't grow up, man.

• 1:01:31Speaker 04

  Is it like the, what's the game where you cook, overcooked? Do you love that too?

• 1:01:35Bobby Lee?

  No, man.

• 1:01:36Speaker 04

  Sorry, you don't know.

• 1:01:37Bobby Lee?

  So I wanna?

• 1:01:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, but get it out, tell me.

• 1:01:39Bobby Lee?

  I'm gonna.

• 1:01:39Speaker 04

  This is great. Take your time, take your time.

• 1:01:41Bobby Lee?

  Alright, so, um, I think Stardew Valley is as.

• 1:01:44Speaker 04

  Can we see that?

• 1:01:45Bobby Lee?

  I think Stardew Valley is as good as Red Dead 2.

• 1:01:48Speaker 04

  Oh wow.

• 1:01:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I think Stardew Valley.

• 1:01:50Speaker 04

  Do you play RPGs? You play roleplay games?

• 1:01:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Skyrim, any Bethesda game, I think.

• 1:01:53Speaker 04

  But you never played Chrono Trigger or any of the other ones?

• 1:01:55Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 1:01:56Speaker 04

  Chrono Trigger I think is maybe the best.

• 1:01:57Bobby Lee?

  You have to text me these.

• 1:01:58Speaker 04

  I will, and then Final Fantasy, American Title III. You do any, any Final Fantasies? Seven, what is it PlayStation?

• 1:02:03Bobby Lee?

  Are they turn-based? I don't like turn-based fighting.

• 1:02:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, where it's four people and you choose to attack.

• 1:02:08Bobby Lee?

  No, I don't like, I don't like that. I want one guy fighting.

• 1:02:11Speaker 04

  The whole time?

• 1:02:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:12Speaker 04

  Wait, I have to see what you're doing.

• 1:02:13Bobby Lee?

  So this is Stardew Valley?

• 1:02:16Bobby Lee?

  I know, okay. It's what's up.

• 1:02:18Speaker 04

  Is it like SimCity or Actraiser?

• 1:02:20Bobby Lee?

  Okay. Uh, okay.

• 1:02:21Speaker 04

  Do you guys know what Actraiser is or no? No.

• 1:02:23Bobby Lee?

  Push pause for a second, okay.

• 1:02:25Speaker 04

  Is this so boring to you guys?

• 1:02:26Speaker 02

  No, I like it.

• 1:02:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, it, this, okay, this game on surface, it's, looks weird, alright?

• 1:02:31Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:02:32Bobby Lee?

  But it's really an RPG.

• 1:02:35Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:02:35Bobby Lee?

  Because this is, it's, yeah, one, it, it's, it is a farming simulation where you have a farm.

• 1:02:42Bobby Lee?

  It is that, right? But it's ol, that's only 10% of the game. That's only 10%. There's fighting, there's, there's a lot of grinding.

• 1:02:50Speaker 04

  Show me if, I wanted to see what the fighting looks like.

• 1:02:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that, you, you, there's, you, you could upgrade weapons.

• 1:02:54Speaker 04

  Did you ever play Link to the Past?

• 1:02:55Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 1:02:55Speaker 04

  Oh god, Jesus.

• 1:02:57Bobby Lee?

  And, and, okay, so this game, right?

• 1:02:59Speaker 04

  You got, okay, so this looks like a game called Actraiser. I don't know if you've ever seen Actraiser. Actraiser is you get a plot of land, you have to like use lightning and everything to make it so you can farm. You farm, you build houses.

• 1:03:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:08Speaker 04

  And then, once you get enough people that follow you, then you go and fight people as this big warrior.

• 1:03:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:13Speaker 04

  And you're like their god.

• 1:03:14Bobby Lee?

  So, anyway, this game is so in-depth.

• 1:03:17Speaker 04

  I get it, I get this. I totally get this.

• 1:03:19Bobby Lee?

  And today, after the second, this podcast, the creator's coming.

• 1:03:23Speaker 04

  Oh, how cool.

• 1:03:24Bobby Lee?

  But, anyway, um, so what else do you like?

• 1:03:28Speaker 01

  Hey, you ever seen that movie, um?

• 1:03:30Bobby Lee?

  Oh, here we go.

• 1:03:30Speaker 04

  This is good.

• 1:03:31Bobby Lee?

  Here we go.

• 1:03:32Speaker 01

  Uh, I love, I think it's called The Wizard?

• 1:03:34Speaker 04

  Oh, my god, I love that game. They intro Mario 3 on that.

• 1:03:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:38Bobby Lee?

  What is that?

• 1:03:38Speaker 04

  And they also intro the power glove.

• 1:03:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:40Bobby Lee?

  Oh, well, so then, maybe I'm not as big as you.

• 1:03:44Speaker 04

  No, but I'm, I'm in the years that you didn't play.

• 1:03:46Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you are?

• 1:03:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm in the years, because I got a console. I got Nintendo and Super Nintendo. My friend had Genesis.

• 1:03:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so I did all the Bethesda games, like, you know, I mean, Morrowind and on and on and on.

• 1:03:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:57Bobby Lee?

  So I've done all the, um, you know, the Rockstar games, you know what I mean, like Red Dead and, um?

• 1:04:01Speaker 04

  Did Grand Theft Auto.

• 1:04:02Bobby Lee?

  Grand Theft Auto, right? So I do all the big ones.

• 1:04:04Speaker 04

  I've never played Red Dead. I heard it's amazing. I get addicted to games now, so if I start one, and like, I just played, uh, the new Zelda, which was like, I beat, it took like 150 hours.

• 1:04:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:14Speaker 04

  Breath of the Wind? No, the next one. That's the first one. The next one is not Twilight. It's, what is it called?

• 1:04:20Speaker 04

  I forget what it is, but I beat it. But it's like, I put so much time into it that it was amazing.

• 1:04:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:25Speaker 04

  It was amazing. Same with those Final Fantasy games. Chrono Trigger is also, I think, the best.

• 1:04:29Bobby Lee?

  Chrono Trigger, right.

• 1:04:29Speaker 04

  Dude, if you could find it.

• 1:04:30Bobby Lee?

  I don't like turn-based.

• 1:04:31Speaker 04

  It is, but you'll love it. It's emu, you get an emulator. Do you have any, you have any like nerdy little?

• 1:04:36Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 1:04:36Speaker 04

  So when I travel, I have a, I have a little handheld console that I can put everything on it. So I have like PlayStation, Genesis, Super Nintendo, Nintendo.

• 1:04:44Bobby Lee?

  What's it called?

• 1:04:45Speaker 04

  I'll, I'll send you.

• 1:04:46Bobby Lee?

  I'll send it to you.

• 1:04:47Speaker 04

  And then I got a friend to put every single thing on it. So every game for everything is on it.

• 1:04:51Bobby Lee?

  So you could play Skyrim on it?

• 1:04:53Speaker 04

  I wonder if you play PC. Can you? Probably. It matters how big the file is.

• 1:04:57Bobby Lee?

  But Skyrim is a Xbox game. You could probably put.

• 1:04:59Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, because you have.

• 1:05:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:00Speaker 04

  Something like this. Yeah, I have like a different version of it. It's like a thousand. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:04Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 1:05:04Speaker 04

  But then I also got like they're the, you know, the game grumps. Do you guys know who they are? Yeah. They're a big YouTube guy. They're, they play video games. They know everything about video games and they helped me put like everything on there and change the system of it and like all.

• 1:05:14Bobby Lee?

  How do you do? I don't know. Do I know? Do we know people? DJ, you must be a nerd. Okay, okay. I gotta get, yeah, we gotta do all that.

• 1:05:22Speaker 04

  We're on flights all the time and sometimes I like, I try to write on flights, but I'm like, that's how I unplug and relax by playing those video games.

• 1:05:27Bobby Lee?

  Oh my God, we gotta, we gotta figure all that out, man.

• 1:05:29Speaker 04

  And I can tell you what games to play. You'll have the best time.

• 1:05:31Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to change my, like, I gotta change my life with that.

• 1:05:35Speaker 04

  You deserve it.

• 1:05:36Bobby Lee?

  I deserve all of it.

• 1:05:37Speaker 04

  You deserve it.

• 1:05:38Bobby Lee?

  I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:39Speaker 04

  Celeste was good. Celeste is a new game. I'm trying to think of a new game.

• 1:05:41Bobby Lee?

  Celeste or Celeste?

• 1:05:42Speaker 04

  Celeste.

• 1:05:43Bobby Lee?

  Oh, Celeste. Okay.

• 1:05:44Speaker 04

  And it talks about depression and like.

• 1:05:45Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 1:05:46Speaker 04

  You're like this character that's fighting, but then also gets into deep conversations. It's amazing.

• 1:05:50Bobby Lee?

  Oh my God.

• 1:05:50Speaker 04

  I know.

• 1:05:51Bobby Lee?

  You gotta do all that stuff. I can afford it, right? Yeah, I want to be able to afford all of it.

• 1:05:55Speaker 04

  What's the craziest thing you bought with your money that you made? You've made enough money now. What's the silliest thing you bought?

• 1:06:00Speaker 05

  He bought a cat, a whole cat entertainment console outside and like a little.

• 1:06:04Speaker 04

  A cat? What do you mean?

• 1:06:05Speaker 05

  Twenty thousand dollars, a cat, yeah, catio.

• 1:06:08Bobby Lee?

  A cat, a cat, cat, catio.

• 1:06:10Speaker 04

  What does that mean?

• 1:06:11Bobby Lee?

  So I have an outside, you know, I have an outside part, right? And I drilled a hole, not me, but engineer, what do I call them? Construction people.

• 1:06:20Bobby Lee?

  Right? And, and it's out, it goes Lisa outside, but it's.

• 1:06:22Speaker 04

  Oh, this is great. This is, you have one of these?

• 1:06:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I do.

• 1:06:24Speaker 04

  Oh, I love it.

• 1:06:25Bobby Lee?

  And they've never been out there. Tools, how many times have you seen the people, the cats in the catio?

• 1:06:30Speaker 02

  I think the last time was like two years ago.

• 1:06:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. They will not go out there.

• 1:06:34Speaker 04

  That's so funny.

• 1:06:35Bobby Lee?

  It's a waste of money.

• 1:06:36Speaker 04

  That's such a funny bit.

• 1:06:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Also, I bought them, I buy them beds. They don't sleep in there. I caught Bojo sleeping.

• 1:06:42Speaker 04

  They never come inside?

• 1:06:43Bobby Lee?

  No. I saw cat, uh, my cat Bojo slept in the inside of a rolled yoga mat once.

• 1:06:49Speaker 04

  What if it's like raining or something?

• 1:06:50Bobby Lee?

  They will not go out there.

• 1:06:51Speaker 04

  They won't go to the catio?

• 1:06:52Bobby Lee?

  Unless I open the backyard, they'll go out there.

• 1:06:54Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:06:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, they don't like the fencing system. Do you have animals?

• 1:06:56Speaker 04

  I have a dog. Oh.

• 1:06:59Bobby Lee?

  What's this right here?

• 1:07:00Speaker 04

  Oh, it was a page at Letterman. Yeah, what were you doing? And yeah. Oh, yeah, they cut that part on top. So I was a page in the bottom. So I worked at Letterman. And what I did in Letterman was I showed people to their seats and like I helped them to the bathroom. Wow.

• 1:07:14Bobby Lee?

  How old were you here?

• 1:07:15Speaker 04

  Uh, 2003. So I was, uh, was right out of college. So it's probably 20, 22. Damn. So.

• 1:07:22Bobby Lee?

  What was he like?

• 1:07:23Speaker 04

  I barely got to talk to him.

• 1:07:26Speaker 04

  But then, uh, before he retired, I was a guest on it. In my head, I was like, man, if one day I get to actually be in that thing. Uh, so right before he retired, I was on a show called House of Lies with Cheadle and Kristen Bell.

• 1:07:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:38Speaker 04

  And I got to be a guest on it. And so it was like one of my bucket list things. So although, uh, I put so much, so much pressure in my head to get to that show that when it happened, it was just not as, I thought it was gonna feel different. Like I was just like, oh my God, I, I did it. I did this thing. I've always wanted to be a guest on the show. I was a page here. And when I was on stage and when it was over, it just didn't feel like I thought it was gonna feel.

• 1:08:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:01Speaker 04

  But it was one of my, it was one of my things. And then, uh, since then, since Colbert's hosted, I've done it twice, but Colbert is like an improviser. He's from Second, he's from Second City.

• 1:08:10Bobby Lee?

  Did you, did you know him from Second City or no?

• 1:08:11Speaker 04

  No, I didn't know him until I did his show.

• 1:08:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:13Speaker 04

  And then we did, we had such a good first episode and then he invited me to interview him for Paley Fest.

• 1:08:18Bobby Lee?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:08:19Speaker 04

  And we basically just did an hour and a half long show of me playing around with him. And then, um, so when I did his show last time, we just went bananas. Now anytime I go on the show, I get to, it's just, we get to go bananas.

• 1:08:28Bobby Lee?

  Oh my.

• 1:08:28Speaker 04

  Which is like a dream for any comedian when you go on a talk show because it's very much regimented.

• 1:08:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:33Speaker 04

  You're trying to get the person comfortably enough to let you go. Like the people that I love, like Robin Williams coming on the air when I was a kid. Or like Farley or Bill Murray. Those are the people that when they went on, I was like, oh my God, I can't wait. I have no idea what's gonna happen. This is gonna be amazing.

• 1:08:45Bobby Lee?

  I've only done one talk show.

• 1:08:46Speaker 04

  Really?

• 1:08:47Bobby Lee?

  In 2000.

• 1:08:48Speaker 04

  What did you do?

• 1:08:49Bobby Lee?

  I did stand up on Leno and, and they've never, no one's ever asked me back on any of them.

• 1:08:53Speaker 04

  You did stand up on The Tonight Show. That's insane that you're only one.

• 1:08:55Bobby Lee?

  Ben, don't do this. All right. Why can't we do this? Why can't I be not, why can't I not have things going on? Why, why can't I just go, I was not doing.

• 1:09:04Speaker 04

  Hi, mate. Do you wish you went on The Tonight Show and did stand up?

• 1:09:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:09:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. One day, one day.

• 1:09:09Speaker 01

  One day.

• 1:09:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, one day you will. Yeah, yeah. I did that, right?

• 1:09:13Speaker 04

  What's that impression? What are you doing right now? Tell me that joke. I bet you know.

• 1:09:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'll go, oh, you, you're some Asian thing.

• 1:09:18Speaker 04

  Actually, that's probably.

• 1:09:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, probably.

• 1:09:19Speaker 04

  For real?

• 1:09:21Bobby Lee?

  Or something like that. A version of that. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:23Speaker 04

  His dad.

• 1:09:23Bobby Lee?

  Do that once. Do that once.

• 1:09:25Speaker 04

  I'll do it as Morgan Freeman.

• 1:09:27Bobby Lee?

  Very fast.

• 1:09:28Speaker 04

  You must remember your five minutes in that, because if that's the only time you did it, you must have been so nervous.

• 1:09:32Bobby Lee?

  I remember them going, "You can't do that, you can't do that."

• 1:09:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:36Bobby Lee?

  And me fighting for some, like, so one was like...

• 1:09:38Speaker 04

  What Joe killed, do you remember?

• 1:09:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I don't know how it goes.

• 1:09:42Speaker 04

  Wait, and you said that your first special's coming out, so that's probably one of the only times people can see you...

• 1:09:47Bobby Lee?

  I've done a couple of five-minute sets on a variety of, like...

• 1:09:50Speaker 04

  Or like Premium Blend?

• 1:09:51Bobby Lee?

  Yes, I did Premium Blend, I did all those, but, um, yeah, I've never done... So the special is very stressful, because it's like, there's a lot of...

• 1:09:57Speaker 04

  It's exciting.

• 1:09:57Bobby Lee?

  Expectation...

• 1:09:58Speaker 05

  Kim's a comedy, probably, the longest?

• 1:09:59Bobby Lee?

  Kim's a comedy, maybe, yeah, I did a thing with Ken and, um...

• 1:10:04Speaker 04

  Ken Jeong, who you punched in the face?

• 1:10:05Bobby Lee?

  No, he punched me. Okay, but I love, we're good now.

• 1:10:08Speaker 04

  Did you deserve it?

• 1:10:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:10:11Bobby Lee?

  And, yeah, you know what, dude, I deserve a lot of things.

• 1:10:14Speaker 04

  Hey, there you go, man.

• 1:10:15Bobby Lee?

  You've never been punched in the face?

• 1:10:18Speaker 04

  No, no, maybe playing basketball, I've gotten headbutts.

• 1:10:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, but not like, "Hey, Ben, come over, you owe me money."

• 1:10:24Speaker 04

  I'm terrified, I'm terrified of that. Have you been in a lot of fights?

• 1:10:27Bobby Lee?

  I've been beaten up a lot, yeah.

• 1:10:28Speaker 04

  Really?

• 1:10:29Bobby Lee?

  In showbiz, yeah. Yeah, but you know, it's, calm down.

• 1:10:31Speaker 04

  Oh, when I play characters, I always get beat up.

• 1:10:33Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, that was good.

• 1:10:34Speaker 04

  Whenever I'm in a scene, like, my character's usually the one that gets his ass kicked.

• 1:10:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:40Bobby Lee?

  Wow, so, um, you've done it all, then? I mean, I mean, look at your life, if you look back at your life, from fucking being a page...

• 1:10:48Speaker 04

  Oh, it's insane.

• 1:10:49Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 1:10:49Speaker 04

  I would not be able to comprehend, I truly...

• 1:10:52Bobby Lee?

  And then the Matt Walsh, you see?

• 1:10:53Speaker 04

  My parents had no money growing up, like, I was lucky enough, we grew up middle class, but we knew nobody in the industry. This is, if I look back, it is ludicrous, even any modicum of success, but it's like, the things I've done, I love video games, I get to play Sonic. I love cartoon, Duck Tales is my favorite show when I was a kid, I got to play Dewey.

• 1:11:10Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:11:10Speaker 04

  I got to play Leonardo in Teenage Mutant Turtles. I got to do all these things that as a kid, I would never in a million years. And then improv, there I am.

• 1:11:18Bobby Lee?

  Oh, my god.

• 1:11:20Speaker 04

  In the Bronx, and then me...

• 1:11:21Bobby Lee?

  Are you Jewish?

• 1:11:22Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:11:23Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:11:23Speaker 04

  No, I'm very Jewish. What did you think he was? I'm literally, you can see, there's like a- Are you Puerto Rican? There's a dreidel in my mouth.

• 1:11:33Speaker 04

  I'm literally sucking on a dreidel right there.

• 1:11:35Bobby Lee?

  Uh oh.

• 1:11:36Speaker 04

  But there's, for improv, the biggest thing for me for improv was that we only performed for 90 people at UCB. That's what it was. Nobody ever really went beyond that.

• 1:11:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:43Speaker 04

  And then we, I built it out and then different people, we all did these things. And if you told me that I was playing any of the venues I'm playing now, it would not even make sense because long-term improv never got to play those venues.

• 1:11:55Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:11:55Speaker 04

  So we are the first people to break into 90% of these venues.

• 1:11:58Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:11:58Speaker 04

  So for me, that's the biggest thing where it's like, this is insane. I can't believe, none of it is real. I was not expecting any of this. I just always worked really hard.

• 1:12:07Bobby Lee?

  You didn't live in the results.

• 1:12:08Speaker 04

  I lived in the moment.

• 1:12:09Bobby Lee?

  I think this should be the title of this episode. You didn't, you did it because you loved it.

• 1:12:14Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:12:15Bobby Lee?

  And there's another thing to it too is that-

• 1:12:16Speaker 04

  You have to be willing to fail, right? You have to be willing to-

• 1:12:18Bobby Lee?

  Willing to fail.

• 1:12:19Speaker 04

  To not make money on it.

• 1:12:20Bobby Lee?

  But also, I was walking down the street, I saw an-

• 1:12:22Speaker 04

  Congrats, by the way.

• 1:12:26Speaker 04

  Because you usually take a moped, right?

• 1:12:29Speaker 04

  Isn't that your thing?

• 1:12:31Bobby Lee?

  That was so funny. God, you still got it, kid.

• 1:12:34Speaker 04

  Thank god.

• 1:12:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but um, I was walking down the street in La Jolla and I walked by the Comedy Store, La Jolla. There was a "Help Wanted" sign and I got a job there as a barback.

• 1:12:46Speaker 04

  This is at the beginning?

• 1:12:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and I um, and I just crawled from open mics. My parents are immigrants, they had no, obviously no connections to, you know what I mean? Even America, really. You know what I mean? They only spoke Korean. And I kinda just crawled my way up. I mean, I did a lot of backstabbing and cockroachy behavior.

• 1:13:05Speaker 04

  Did you?

• 1:13:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, to climb up. Oh my god, so many cockroachy behaviors of like sabotage and-

• 1:13:10Speaker 04

  Really?

• 1:13:11Bobby Lee?

  Oh yeah, and like, people turned their back on, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Not literally, but like-

• 1:13:17Speaker 04

  No, I get it. But he's used this podcast-

• 1:13:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm a big fan and then, you know what I mean, that kinda thing. But it's like, I, you know, I got here, you know what I mean?

• 1:13:25Speaker 04

  Yeah dude.

• 1:13:25Bobby Lee?

  Without any connections at all.

• 1:13:27Speaker 04

  You worked your ass off.

• 1:13:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I just, you know, I remember my agent I met at the Comedy Store in the patio. He was a mailroom guy at O'Gersh, right? And now he's the head of the comedy department at CAA.

• 1:13:39Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 1:13:40Bobby Lee?

  Right? But I remember meeting him in the 90s and he was like, he's a kid from Bakersfield and I kinda got in that way with, I grew up with people.

• 1:13:49Speaker 04

  Yeah dude.

• 1:13:49Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? And so I look back at my life and I go- Yeah, even though you're a scoundrel, you know what I mean? I've done some good things too. I hope a bunch of people get sober.

• 1:13:57Speaker 04

  It seems like you've grown is the biggest thing involved.

• 1:14:00Bobby Lee?

  Thank you, thank you.

• 1:14:00Speaker 04

  I don't think you're backstabbing people now.

• 1:14:03Bobby Lee?

  And I think I exaggerate. Like, for instance, you know, that Kitty Dipple thing.

• 1:14:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:14:06Bobby Lee?

  I don't think, I think I exaggerated that. I don't think there was any of like, I'm gonna shoot up the room or anything like that. You know what I mean? So it's like, there's a lot of exaggeration going on. I think that at the end of the day, I'm a decent dude and I did it the right way. And I feel, there's a sense of pride with that. I'm sure you feel the same way.

• 1:14:23Speaker 04

  There, there is the, and also it's the same thing. I couldn't afford class at UCB, so I asked to be an intern. I did the garbage there and recycling there and gave out tickets. And that's how I, that's how I got classes and then I took the classes, you know what I mean? And Amy was a part of like, I took class at UCB because I loved SNL and I loved Amy on SNL. And I was like, okay. And I took class at Second City, New York and that at the same time. And UCB really made sense to me. And when I was doing stand-up, I was still like, ah, stand-up? I, I wish I was amazing at this, but I really love this. This is what I'm better at, I think. So I leaned towards improv. But I, same thing. I didn't know, I was doing the garbage and the recycling to get classes. And then, and then you slowly build. Dying to get a commercial agent, dying. Finally took a class that they forced commercial agents to come at the end.

• 1:15:08Speaker 04

  And then they saw me, I didn't get an agent. I did do it again. I finally got a commercial agent. I started booking commercials, but they never aired. But I made just enough money to like, just have enough money. Like, I would eat pizza, plain pizza slices, but take all the free toppings. Like, the red peppers and the Parmesan and pile of months. They felt like they were special. I went to Wendy's, I knew the dollar menu by heart.

• 1:15:26Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:15:26Speaker 04

  You learn, you just, you just, but it was the best time. The beginning is always the best time. What are the items in the Wendy's dollar menu? Oh, you'd get a burger. Well, by the way, also, if you do McDonald's, there's two things. If I had enough money, I'd get the two burger, the two cheeseburger meal at McDonald's. Um, and then, but Burger King, I'd also get like the 99 cent pies. Remember they had chocolate, they had different pies? But Wendy's, it would be, uh, chicken nuggets, a burger by itself and a fry by itself.

• 1:15:49Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:15:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, and then I would have tap water at home.

• 1:15:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I used to eat that. Really?

• 1:15:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, of course.

• 1:15:55Bobby Lee?

  Me and my roommate, Calista, we live in Silver Lake. And we used to split a BRC burrito at El Pollo Loco.

• 1:16:01Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 1:16:02Bobby Lee?

  Bean, rice and cheese burrito. And we would argue about who got more beans.

• 1:16:08Bobby Lee?

  And that's how poor.

• 1:16:08Speaker 04

  But I think about that time as maybe my favorite time of in comedy of my life.

• 1:16:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:14Speaker 04

  For real.

• 1:16:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:16:15Speaker 04

  The stuff when I had nothing and we were just, nobody was watching us. We'd be so excited if anybody came. It was me, Adam Pally and Gil Ozeri. We were a team called Hot Sauce.

• 1:16:22Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:16:23Speaker 04

  And nobody knew who we were and nobody would come to our fucking shows and.

• 1:16:26Speaker 05

  Come on, you're a cage match.

• 1:16:28Speaker 04

  Say, oh yeah?

• 1:16:28Speaker 05

  Nobody came to your shows.

• 1:16:29Speaker 04

  Did you see, you saw that?

• 1:16:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, I was in New York at the time.

• 1:16:31Speaker 04

  Oh my god.

• 1:16:32Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:16:33Speaker 05

  There was one where you guys didn't even stand on stage once. You like went into the audience.

• 1:16:37Bobby Lee?

  How many people were there?

• 1:16:38Speaker 05

  You know about this?

• 1:16:38Bobby Lee?

  How many people were there?

• 1:16:39Speaker 05

  I was there for that one.

• 1:16:39Bobby Lee?

  How many people were there?

• 1:16:40Speaker 04

  That's when we were selling out.

• 1:16:41Speaker 05

  Probably forty.

• 1:16:41Speaker 04

  That's when we were selling out.

• 1:16:42Speaker 05

  Yeah, it was a hundred, yeah.

• 1:16:43Speaker 04

  Wait, that, so wait, that's amazing that you're saying it.

• 1:16:45Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:16:46Speaker 04

  The beginning of that was, I was still an intern and then I became a bartender at UCB because I needed money.

• 1:16:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:51Speaker 04

  And then there's a show on Sundays called Ask Cat and that's where Amy and all those guys performed, the best people. They would get offstage and we would beg the manager of the theater because it's over, the show's over, we cleaned up. I mopped the stage, I mopped the stage.

• 1:17:04Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:17:05Speaker 04

  And I said, can me, Gil and Adam just get on stage in front of nobody and just, just do scenes? And the manager's like, come on, we gotta go home. I go, please, please, please.

• 1:17:13Bobby Lee?

  Wow, wow.

• 1:17:13Speaker 04

  And for fifteen, twenty minutes, the three of us, nobody would come see us perform. So we just performed for nobody when the theater was closed. And we would laugh and it was the best time. And then we started doing more shit together. And then we started, we did a cage match, which is one team shows up, another team shows up. You both perform, whoever has the best, the audience decides who comes back.

• 1:17:30Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:17:31Speaker 04

  And we won and we kept winning. And that's how people started to notice us because we were so, we did scenes that were like ten seconds long sometimes. We were really quick. And then we wanted to make it unique. So every show we invented a new form. So the form you're talking about was, we never went on stage, all three of us stayed in the audience and pretended that we were heckling different things. Like thirty minutes?

• 1:17:51Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:17:52Speaker 04

  For thirty minutes. Were you at that or no?

• 1:17:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:17:54Bobby Lee?

  That's so good.

• 1:17:55Speaker 04

  Nobody's seen that, I cannot.

• 1:17:56Speaker 05

  Straight from like a baseball stadium.

• 1:17:57Speaker 04

  That's exactly right.

• 1:17:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow.

• 1:18:00Speaker 04

  Dude, I can't, I almost want to talk to you because I don't remember it and I can't wait to hear about it. But it was like, literally that, we're at a baseball stadium and then like we would sometimes would know each other. Hey, John! But we sat on, the audience was three pieces, one and two here.

• 1:18:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:12Speaker 04

  Someone sat there, someone sat there, someone sat there. And we would yell at each other or yell at whatever we would pretend is happening on.

• 1:18:17Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:18:18Speaker 04

  That's your, that's a very unique show. And we're all Jewish.

• 1:18:21Bobby Lee?

  I, I know, I love that.

• 1:18:22Speaker 04

  We all, we all have a little humming-toshin inside our mouth.

• 1:18:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but I'm, yeah, yeah.

• 1:18:27Speaker 04

  Do you want to do a Jewish, a Jewish accent right now or no? Oh my god. Sounds like an Asian joke.

• 1:18:34Bobby Lee?

  Why come on my butt?

• 1:18:35Speaker 04

  Do all of your accents have a little hint of Asian?

• 1:18:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I think you're looking at my A's, dude, again.

• 1:18:39Speaker 04

  Oh, sorry.

• 1:18:40Bobby Lee?

  Yes, I'm looking at my A's, you know what I mean? But, um...

• 1:18:42Speaker 04

  I can't believe you're at that show. That means, I can't believe that, because for improv, once it's over, it's over. For you, you could do jokes from that set and take it to other sets. We never do the same shit, so it's...

• 1:18:52Bobby Lee?

  That's bullshit.

• 1:18:53Speaker 04

  You had to be there.

• 1:18:53Bobby Lee?

  I'll tell you why that's bullshit.

• 1:18:54Speaker 04

  Tell me.

• 1:18:55Bobby Lee?

  Right, because you know...

• 1:18:56Speaker 04

  Because you haven't seen the show in 20 years, tell me.

• 1:18:57Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no. What I'm saying is, I know how it works.

• 1:19:01Speaker 04

  Tell me.

• 1:19:01Bobby Lee?

  So, what I'm saying is, you're telling me that something you did in LA, four years later, let's say you're in like Oklahoma City or whatever, that you don't say the same lines?

• 1:19:10Speaker 04

  Never.

• 1:19:11Bobby Lee?

  Ever?

• 1:19:12Speaker 04

  No, you, you might see me saying, playing same characters.

• 1:19:14Bobby Lee?

  Exactly, but there's some nuances, you know, you're my...

• 1:19:17Speaker 04

  I like being asshole character, or like, I'll be a waiter, but that waiter's gonna, if you probably, if you were at that show, it means you went to see a lot of shows.

• 1:19:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:19:23Bobby Lee?

  So, never you're, you're like, oh, I, I, I...

• 1:19:25Speaker 04

  We might say, let me...

• 1:19:26Bobby Lee?

  There's a line from six years ago in, in Fort Lauderdale I can do right now. You don't do that?

• 1:19:30Speaker 04

  Never.

• 1:19:30Bobby Lee?

  Oh, really?

• 1:19:31Speaker 04

  No, but sometimes like if a troll appears, he'll ask you to answer his riddles, but like...

• 1:19:35Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:19:35Speaker 04

  It won't, it won't be like, it won't be like, you know, like, even if I'm playing a wizard or a magician, I make sure that is a totally different thing than...

• 1:19:44Bobby Lee?

  Kind of wizard.

• 1:19:44Speaker 04

  I'll never try to do the same exact lines, yeah, never.

• 1:19:46Bobby Lee?

  Be wizard now. Be wizard.

• 1:19:48Speaker 04

  What would you like me to do? Go.

• 1:19:49Bobby Lee?

  Uh, talk about, um...

• 1:19:50Speaker 05

  You should improvise with him, just be a person talking to a wizard.

• 1:19:52Speaker 04

  Great, I'm a wizard, go.

• 1:19:53Bobby Lee?

  What am I then?

• 1:19:54Speaker 04

  No, don't say anything, just do it, go. Nothing. Oh, here, I'll help you out.

• 1:19:57Bobby Lee?

  No, no, I, I, no, I don't need your help.

• 1:19:59Speaker 04

  I'll be out.

• 1:19:59Bobby Lee?

  I don't need your help.

• 1:20:00Speaker 04

  Bob, you play yourself, you play yourself.

• 1:20:01Bobby Lee?

  No, I don't...

• 1:20:02Speaker 04

  What my music do with the fucking...

• 1:20:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I don't need your help.

• 1:20:04Speaker 05

  This is crutch.

• 1:20:04Speaker 04

  A hat on, a hat on, a hat on that.

• 1:20:06Bobby Lee?

  I don't need your, I don't need your help.

• 1:20:07Speaker 04

  You're not allowed, you're not allowed. Do a scene with me, you're not allowed.

• 1:20:09Bobby Lee?

  I'm not allowed? Okay, okay.

• 1:20:10Speaker 04

  Okay, ready? You can even be yourself, you're coming to...

• 1:20:11Bobby Lee?

  No, I, I can do character, I was on a sketch show for eight years.

• 1:20:14Speaker 04

  Oy. Okay, here. Here come, here comes an Asian guy yelling at me.

• 1:20:21Speaker 04

  No, don't, no. His mouth. I'll be the crazy part. No, no, no, no, no. Let's see you be the straight man, go.

• 1:20:26Bobby Lee?

  Master.

• 1:20:27Speaker 04

  Oh, god. It works, it works.

• 1:20:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, ma- master.

• 1:20:30Speaker 04

  Yes, yes. Bobby, good, good to see you, Bobby.

• 1:20:32Bobby Lee?

  I can't find your orb, master.

• 1:20:34Speaker 04

  Well, okay, well, you know where my orbs are. You got a, I got one in my pocket. Can you reach your hand in there for me, please?

• 1:20:40Bobby Lee?

  Okay, ma- again, master?

• 1:20:41Speaker 04

  Yes, please, yes.

• 1:20:43Bobby Lee?

  Well, the last time, master, I wasn't touching your orb.

• 1:20:45Speaker 04

  Now Bobby. Now Bobby.

• 1:20:47Bobby Lee?

  Alright, here we go.

• 1:20:48Speaker 04

  Okay, oh, the pocket's very deep, keep going. We were already halfway.

• 1:20:53Bobby Lee?

  We're alre- we're good. That's good. What'd you think of my character?

• 1:20:56Speaker 04

  Tell me what you think he looks like. It seems like Igor, right?

• 1:21:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, well, he's got a big, yellow face.

• 1:21:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, oh.

• 1:21:04Bobby Lee?

  Squirny eyes, you know? Oh, why? I'm the one that's saying it, Ben.

• 1:21:09Speaker 04

  I thought it was Igor, I thought it was like a...

• 1:21:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, he does have a hump.

• 1:21:12Speaker 04

  Oh, okay, okay, yeah.

• 1:21:13Bobby Lee?

  But, um, yeah, wow, that was good, that was fun. So that's how improv works. There, hype me?

• 1:21:18Speaker 04

  Yeah. Are you confident you could just get on stage and do it now?

• 1:21:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, now you do one with, um, Ben.

• 1:21:23Speaker 04

  Oh, hell, yeah.

• 1:21:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, do a character.

• 1:21:24Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:21:25Bobby Lee?

  No, we don't even know what the premise is.

• 1:21:27Speaker 04

  Give me a suggestion, at least give me something so you know I'm not, so you know I'm making it up. Give me a...

• 1:21:30Bobby Lee?

  A suggestion.

• 1:21:30Speaker 04

  Not a suggestion, just anything. Tell me...

• 1:21:32Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I know, I know, I know how to do it, okay? So you're...

• 1:21:35Speaker 04

  I don't know, don't tell me what I am.

• 1:21:36Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:21:36Speaker 04

  Okay, how about this? Tell me something funny that happened to you yesterday.

• 1:21:39Bobby Lee?

  Really? Okay, um, I was on stage and, um, some guy in my second... This really happened. Some 500-pound man...

• 1:21:47Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:21:48Bobby Lee?

  Passed out in the middle of my act. There's like 500 people in the audience. He's face down, right, and I think he died. And now in my mind, I'm like, do I stop the show or do I keep going?

• 1:21:59Speaker 04

  Did he die? No. No.

• 1:22:00Bobby Lee?

  No, but I got a text this morning, or yesterday, last night, a DM from a girl, she goes, "That guy, he died." So then I had to call, yeah, so that I frantically called...

• 1:22:11Speaker 04

  I'm of course not gonna do an improv.

• 1:22:14Bobby Lee?

  Well, you asked me what happened. So then I kept calling.

• 1:22:17Speaker 04

  I said, "Say something funny to that actor."

• 1:22:19Bobby Lee?

  I know. So I kept calling the Houston Improv going, you know what I mean? "Did the guy die? Did the guy die?" And they're like, "No." You know what happened? He passes out on my show, 500-pound man, right? They gurney him outside, right?

• 1:22:32Speaker 04

  So did you stop the show when that's happening?

• 1:22:33Bobby Lee?

  I stopped. Yeah, it was terrible. 10 minutes, right?

• 1:22:36Speaker 04

  It's a nightmare. Literally a nightmare.

• 1:22:37Bobby Lee?

  10 minutes. It's a nightmare, right? They gurnied him out, right?

• 1:22:40Speaker 04

  Still worried about that guy.

• 1:22:40Bobby Lee?

  He stands up and he goes, "Where does he go?" Straight to a pizza shop.

• 1:22:44Speaker 04

  Oh, no. What do you mean? So he passed out then?

• 1:22:47Bobby Lee?

  In my, in my show.

• 1:22:48Speaker 04

  I understand that. I'm saying he passed out, then he came to and right to a pizza shop.

• 1:22:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:52Speaker 04

  How do you know he went to a pizza shop?

• 1:22:53Bobby Lee?

  In my mind, he does.

• 1:22:54Speaker 04

  Oh, improv.

• 1:22:56Bobby Lee?

  Improv.

• 1:22:58Speaker 04

  So that's not a real story?

• 1:22:59Bobby Lee?

  No, he did pass out.

• 1:23:00Speaker 04

  Okay, but you don't know if he went to a pizza shop?

• 1:23:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and then he did, yeah. And then I did get the, the truth of it, I did get a direct message from a lady.

• 1:23:09Speaker 04

  That he's fine?

• 1:23:09Bobby Lee?

  That he died. And then I did call the club. And then, um, he just got up and went home.

• 1:23:16Speaker 04

  Oh, my God.

• 1:23:17Bobby Lee?

  I know. So do it. And?

• 1:23:21Bobby Lee?

  And?

• 1:23:21Speaker 04

  I could, but I don't want to. I could.

• 1:23:22Bobby Lee?

  All right, all right, all right. So what else happened yesterday?

• 1:23:25Speaker 04

  Wait, that's a crazy story.

• 1:23:27Speaker 01

  I have a crazy story, too, kinda. I went out last week.

• 1:23:31Speaker 04

  Wait, do your closer, do your closer.

• 1:23:34Speaker 04

  Has he done it on the air? Is this great? First time you're hearing?

• 1:23:36Bobby Lee?

  You stand up closer?

• 1:23:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:23:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's a bullshit story. Go ahead.

• 1:23:40Speaker 04

  Do you need, do you need any context from the previous four minutes of the act or no?

• 1:23:43Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:23:44Speaker 04

  Okay, great. Wait, has he ever done this? This is exclusive?

• 1:23:46Bobby Lee?

  He's gonna eat it, but let's go.

• 1:23:47Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:23:48Speaker 01

  All right.

• 1:23:49Speaker 04

  Do you need to be standing up?

• 1:23:50Speaker 01

  No, I can sit down.

• 1:23:53Speaker 04

  Bobby's heard this probably 20 times, this joke?

• 1:23:54Bobby Lee?

  I've never seen this act. Here's what I do. When anyone's opening for me, I just listen for laughs. Right?

• 1:24:01Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:24:02Bobby Lee?

  I don't listen to jokes. And he got laughs, so I'm just like, I just let it go.

• 1:24:07Speaker 04

  Oh, and you're just making sure that he's making people laugh?

• 1:24:09Bobby Lee?

  I just want him to be happy, and I also want the room to be getting warmed up.

• 1:24:13Speaker 04

  Okay, got it.

• 1:24:14Bobby Lee?

  They're doing their job. What do I, I don't care.

• 1:24:15Speaker 04

  We don't have a warm-up act, so we don't even, I don't even know what that process feels like.

• 1:24:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's a good process.

• 1:24:20Speaker 04

  So do you, if someone gets too many laughs, are you like, "That's too much" or no?

• 1:24:23Bobby Lee?

  So Ramsey this weekend was crushing. Right? And I would whisper to him, like, because, you know, he gets offstage and I'm up to go on, I'm headlining, right? So I'd go, "Too much, dude."

• 1:24:34Speaker 04

  Really?

• 1:24:34Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, go, "Never outshine your master." I would say stuff like that.

• 1:24:38Speaker 04

  And would you talk about it onstage as a bit?

• 1:24:40Bobby Lee?

  No, no, I would go up there and crush. What? So do you, do you ending?

• 1:24:45Speaker 04

  Ending joke.

• 1:24:46Bobby Lee?

  My closer.

• 1:24:47Speaker 01

  From my scent?

• 1:24:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:24:48Speaker 01

  From my scent?

• 1:24:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:24:49Speaker 01

  Uh, hey, thanks for watching me, guys. If you guys wanna watch me.

• 1:24:52Speaker 04

  No, that's the very end. Go right before that.

• 1:24:54Bobby Lee?

  No, this is the joke. There's a joke, right?

• 1:24:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24:56Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 1:24:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that.

• 1:24:57Speaker 04

  I thought you were doing a bit being like at the very end.

• 1:24:58Bobby Lee?

  Good night, hey.

• 1:24:59Speaker 04

  Have a good night, yeah.

• 1:24:59Bobby Lee?

  Good night, ladies and gentlemen. No, not that.

• 1:25:01Speaker 04

  I thought, I literally thought you were doing. That's like, that's like me being like, uh, okay, tell me about the end of the movie. Okay, so the credits are rolling and, uh. There you go.

• 1:25:10Speaker 01

  Okay, well, I can.

• 1:25:11Speaker 04

  Sorry, buddy. No, my bad.

• 1:25:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, if you guys wanna watch me, I'm on a podcast with Bobby Lee. I was with Bobby Lee a couple of days ago and, uh, he gifted me a pocket pussy. And, um, he's like, you need this more than I do. And I was like, can I get a new one? And then they just laugh. And I'm like, oh, thank you, guys.

• 1:25:31Speaker 04

  That's your closer?

• 1:25:32Bobby Lee?

  I like it.

• 1:25:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, it gets laughs.

• 1:25:34Bobby Lee?

  That's your closer?

• 1:25:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, you didn't hear it? Oh, no, you didn't hear it, right?

• 1:25:37Bobby Lee?

  That's your closer?

• 1:25:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:25:39Speaker 04

  What's your first joke? What's your first joke?

• 1:25:40Speaker 01

  Uh, I have lower back arthritis.

• 1:25:43Bobby Lee?

  No, I, cause I have a pocket pussy joke that I stopped doing. There was at least some jokes in there.

• 1:25:47Speaker 04

  Wait, wait, wait. Give me your first one. Give me your first one.

• 1:25:49Speaker 01

  My lower back arthritis?

• 1:25:51Speaker 04

  Is this, are you in it? Is this it?

• 1:25:53Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:25:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, do it, do it, do it.

• 1:25:54Speaker 01

  So, um, I say that I'm getting old.

• 1:25:56Speaker 04

  You were asking me like, I know you're old.

• 1:25:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, go ahead, go ahead.

• 1:25:59Speaker 01

  Uh, I'm getting old that, uh, I have lower back arthritis on my lower left and, um, and one of the causes leading up to it, it's a lot of masturbating, standing up. And people just laugh.

• 1:26:12Speaker 01

  So.

• 1:26:12Speaker 04

  Do you say and people just laugh? You gotta say that.

• 1:26:15Bobby Lee?

  Ben?

• 1:26:16Speaker 01

  No, people do laugh.

• 1:26:17Bobby Lee?

  Ben, I should watch.

• 1:26:19Bobby Lee?

  I think this is the fucking lesson here.

• 1:26:20Speaker 04

  It's the master.

• 1:26:21Bobby Lee?

  I'm gonna watch. That's your fucking joke.

• 1:26:23Speaker 01

  Opening?

• 1:26:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:24Bobby Lee?

  People laugh at it?

• 1:26:25Speaker 01

  And then I'll be like, so any fellas out here masturbate standing up, you might wanna lay down next time.

• 1:26:31Bobby Lee?

  Oh, okay, there we go.

• 1:26:32Speaker 04

  That's a laugh. I like that.

• 1:26:33Bobby Lee?

  That's kinda funny. Okay, there we go.

• 1:26:34Speaker 04

  I like that a lot.

• 1:26:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:26:35Speaker 01

  But I don't have lower back arthritis. It's a real thing, but one of my uncles has it and.

• 1:26:41Speaker 04

  Oh, so it's not real? Is this still part of the act or no?

• 1:26:43Speaker 01

  No, no, he has it. He was telling me and I was like, oh, that's pretty funny.

• 1:26:46Bobby Lee?

  Okay, okay.

• 1:26:47Speaker 01

  But he's a hard, he's an old man.

• 1:26:49Bobby Lee?

  You're developing, you're developing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, um, Ben, what, you wanna promote anything? I, I wanna say, by the way.

• 1:26:57Bobby Lee?

  I had just the best time with you.

• 1:26:59Speaker 04

  Oh, the best.

• 1:26:59Bobby Lee?

  The time went by so quickly.

• 1:27:01Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:27:02Bobby Lee?

  You're so nice and um, I would like to exchange numbers with you afterwards. So you can give me some suggestions about the-

• 1:27:08Speaker 04

  I'm gonna text Katie and see if it's a bad idea to change numbers with you. And then I'm gonna exchange numbers with you.

• 1:27:12Bobby Lee?

  Well, you know, I've had Katie's number for 20 years and I've never texted her.

• 1:27:17Speaker 04

  I would love to.

• 1:27:18Bobby Lee?

  Basically, our texts would be like, you know what I mean?

• 1:27:20Speaker 04

  We have a lot to talk about.

• 1:27:21Bobby Lee?

  Give me the thing and then you give me the thing and then we'll probably never see each other again.

• 1:27:23Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:27:24Bobby Lee?

  So anyway, um-

• 1:27:25Speaker 04

  By the way, I'm good at uh, keeping things going.

• 1:27:28Bobby Lee?

  You are?

• 1:27:29Speaker 04

  If it's, if you-

• 1:27:29Bobby Lee?

  Okay, okay, okay.

• 1:27:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, okay. Oh, by the way, I just typed in, "recreate Igor as an Asian man."

• 1:27:34Bobby Lee?

  That's the character I was doing.

• 1:27:36Speaker 04

  Oh, that's what it is.

• 1:27:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, very good.

• 1:27:37Speaker 04

  Alright, good.

• 1:27:38Bobby Lee?

  Okay, good.

• 1:27:38Speaker 04

  On April 21st, I'm announcing the rest of the tour.

• 1:27:42Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:27:42Speaker 04

  But for now, you go to rejectedjokes.com backslash tour. Um, I think probably what would be up is, we have those Australia dates, we're doing Sydney Opera House.

• 1:27:50Bobby Lee?

  Wow, that's, how many seats is that?

• 1:27:52Speaker 04

  Um, I don't know. I'm not sure. I don't think it's, I don't think it's-

• 1:27:57Bobby Lee?

  3,000?

• 1:27:57Speaker 04

  No, it's less, it's less.

• 1:27:59Bobby Lee?

  Oh, really?

• 1:27:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:27:59Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:28:00Speaker 04

  We're all, we're all sold out for all three of those.

• 1:28:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:02Speaker 04

  And then, um, you're gonna see a bunch, we're doing Florida, April 21st. I have, uh, I'm doing 29 shows this year, so it'll be the rest, the rest of the tour.

• 1:28:10Bobby Lee?

  Amazing.

• 1:28:10Speaker 04

  And I don't think I'll tour this much ever again, cause it's a, it's a lot. I know you guys do way more dates, but-

• 1:28:15Bobby Lee?

  Is there, I mean, is there any way to like, do a, a show for Netflix, a live show or something?

• 1:28:19Speaker 04

  So I have a, I have a special called "Middleditch and Schwartz" that I did with Thomas Middleditch. I have three of them on Netflix and then I have-

• 1:28:25Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:28:25Speaker 04

  Something brewing with Ben Schwartz and Friends Now that is unique, uh, that, uh, I'll tell you about later, but I'm not-

• 1:28:34Bobby Lee?

  Wow, wow, wow, okay, okay, okay, okay. Um, that was, um, super fun. What?

• 1:28:39Speaker 01

  Oh, I thought you were gonna close up.

• 1:28:40Bobby Lee?

  You wanna, you wanna do the closer?

• 1:28:41Speaker 01

  Uh, that was super fun.

• 1:28:43Bobby Lee?

  Well, let's, let's music it.

• 1:28:44Speaker 01

  Hey, you have great hair, by the way, for your age.

• 1:28:47Speaker 04

  You're great, too.

• 1:28:48Speaker 01

  Oh, he does have great-

• 1:28:49Speaker 04

  I feel bad, you didn't get to say anything. Do you wanna talk about anything?

• 1:28:51Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:28:52Speaker 04

  Okay. There you go. I don't know why I unplugged it. Oh, a little Donkey Kong theme. Ooh.

• 1:29:01Speaker 04

  Alright. You gonna sing it?

• 1:29:04Speaker 01

  Hey, this was so much fun. We had Bobby Lee and Ben Schwartz. You can catch him on tour for 29 shows. And the franchise Sonic the Hedgehog. Give him one more time a round of applause, everybody.

• 1:29:25Speaker 01

  Was that good?

• 1:29:26Bobby Lee?

  Very good.

• 1:29:27Speaker 01

  Are you sure?

• 1:29:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it was great.

• 1:29:29Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 1:29:29Bobby Lee?

  What, because I wasn't laughing?

• 1:29:30Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:29:32Bobby Lee?

  Ben.

• 1:29:32Speaker 04

  Thanks for having me, guys.

• 1:29:35Speaker 07

  (singing)