StarTalk Podcast
Hosted by Neil deGrasse Tyson
In this episode, we highlight a few star moments from our constellation of past shows.
8,547 words · 5 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
Welcome to StarTalk. Your place in the universe where science and pop culture collide. StarTalk begins right now. Welcome back to StarTalk Radio. I'm Neil deGrasse Tyson. This is a special best of StarTalk Radio. We'd like to call it our time capsule show. Today, we're going to highlight some of our celebrity interviews from the first two seasons, and let's start with my friend Stephen Colbert. Right now, I'm with Stephen Colbert in his office, and I think he's out of character at the moment.
We'll find out. We'll find out. Let's see how I feel about science. If I give it any credence at all, you know I'm not in character.
So Stephen, as of today, I've been on your show six times. Now, I might otherwise get a big head about that, but I've seen other scientists on your show often, so I'm led to think that you actually have a soft spot for science. Am I delusional there, or what?
I love science. My dad was an immunologist, and I'm thrilled by science. When I was a kid, education was valued in my house, and because I was the son of an academic and someone who was a medical researcher, science was number one. Though, we're also a very devout family, too. Like, my mother is sort of mystical Catholic, my father's sort of intellectual Augustinian or, you know, like Aquinian Catholic.
But you understood the value of science in your life and in society?
Absolutely. I mean, yes, absolutely. My father, no fan of herbal medicine. No, repeatable results. Repeatable results. That was the mantra.
So are you a science geek or just a science enthusiast?
I'm a complete geek, but I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't give myself the honor of calling myself a science geek, because I think you have to have more knowledge of science. I have appreciation for science. I really, I love hearing scientists talk. I love, I love, I love new discoveries. I love people who are full of questions at all times.
I think you've transformed the landscape of comedic talk shows, or talk shows at all. The fact that you recognize scientists as having a role in the dialogue of how, what drives the nation.
Well, science is hard, let me put it that way, unless you approach it, I think, from what I know, unless you approach it with joy and fascination and drive. And all of those things hint to me that the things that scientists are trying to explain to us must be pretty interesting. And so I take them at their word, and I have them on to try to explicate that. Open the rosebud of their knowledge or their desire in front of us, so that we can see the beauty of the rose ourselves, if you know what I mean.
That's beautiful.
Thank you. A very beautiful, beautiful mind. What a beautiful mind.
So, I don't, I don't want to put you on the spot like asking you to pick your favorite children, but among all of the frontiers of science, which science, which branch of science excites you most?
Astrophysics, Neil. Stop fishing. It's astrophysics. It kind of is astrophysics. It kind of is astrophysics, because it asks such enormous questions, you know, the, the, the, the, uh...
So you're not just saying that because I'm sitting here right next to you?
Of course I am. But I also mean it. You know, I, I, I love like, uh, first questions. Why are we here? Or rather, how are we here? And then you can, I was interpret your why, but the how, the how are we here question is, is enormous and, and fills us with awe. And, and that is, certainly, a cosmologists and natural physicists approach those things.
And that's what we do, is we live that, we live that.
Uh, that, that's, there's, it's a, it's a high calling.
Stephen Colbert, he's a cool dude.
See, you need more Stephen Colbert's in the science world. You really do, because he is, he's sexy and he's charming, but he was raised by a scientist, so he speaks your language.
Yeah, so that's different.
That's my whole point. It's science needs a makeover. You need Queer Eye for the Science Guy. You're talking to a woman who gets a lot of her stuff from TV.
But it can also stimulate it in another direction. For example, get, remember, I had an interview with Stephen Colbert for this, for this show, and he commented on science fiction.
I'd like to know what he has to say.
Let's see what he has to say about what role that played in his life.
And you're bugging me right now.
Alright.
Science fiction was incredibly important to me. You know, when I was 10, I remember I had this tremendous headache one day, and I was over at my brother Ed's house. I'm one of 11 kids, and he's the second oldest.
11?
I'm one of 11 children, yes. And there were certain sciences that my parents didn't practice. And I was on, lying on his bed at his house, or in a guest bedroom at his house, trying to sleep off this headache. And he was a huge science fiction fan, and he grew up in the 1950s, and had all these great, original pulp, um, science fiction, and some from the 60s and 70s, too. And I, I picked one of the, the, the books off the shelf, because it was right about head level, and it was The Long Arm of Gil Hamilton by, by Larry Niven. And I read it, lying there, after my headache was gone, and I was hooked. I read nothing but science fiction, and at the same time, Cosmos came out, by Carl Sagan, and, um...
So had you not gotten this headache, you might not have stared that book down to write it.
I'd never, no, no. I would not have been captured by, um, kinda like The Romance of Science, if I might talk about The Dragons of Eden by, by Sagan.
By Carl Sagan, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, um, Meditations on the Romance of Science, isn't that what it's called?
That's the subtitle of it.
Yeah, yeah. Dragons of Eden, Meditations on the Romance of Science, which I then...
Oh, no, no, no, that one, oh, no, no.
That's Broke His Brain?
Broke His Brain, yes, yes, yeah.
Well, I've, well, anyway, I read both of them. I read a ton of things, including Cosmos and, and some of his non, some of his fiction.
So I'm just playing into what is a pre-existing ripe condition for you.
Oh, gosh, yes. I mean, I, I love it. I'm completely captivated. I mean, before I, before I knew you, I knew you because I, I, I knew of you because I'm, I'm a huge fan. I'm a huge fan of the way you express, um, science. I showed your work to my kids, um, and, uh, I, it's distressing that Americans don't know or care enough about science because when I was a child, science captivated young people because it had become, it, it was hot. It was adventurous. It was, um,
The adventure is what I think people don't feel today.
Maybe not. I think, I think it's because we were promised things like the wrist televisions and the jet packs and they didn't come fast.
And the bubble cars and the,
Right. Yeah. And the bubble cars, all that, you know, um, we were promised, uh, uh, too much by the Hollywoodization of science.
One way to get people excited is to try to get scientists to get you sort of jazzed about it, but their entertainers, I think, can play their role as well. In, in my time with Steve, with Stephen Colbert, we chatted,
Good segue.
No, we did. We chatted about, he, he marshaled the Colbert Nation, his supporters, his fan base,
Yeah.
to, to take action, to try to influence what NASA was going to do with their next voyage to the space station. This is remarkable that, that he would value it enough to then marshal his people, his peeps to do this.
But that, yeah, and I want to hear about that because that's my whole point is that it is our responsibility. Once you know something and you have a voice, like we do right now,
Mm-hmm.
to make that voice known and to say to people, this is really important.
Well, let's go. Let's check out, uh, picking up on my interview with Stephen Colbert in his office. You're listening to StarTalk.
On my official bio for years, I, I wrote that my birthday was the day of the moon landing, just to see if anybody would ask me and see if somebody would like catch what day I was using, um, which is, is it 24th?
That's a geek thing to do.
24th of July?
No, 20th of July.
20th of July? I, anyway, I put down 20th of July.
Oh, I'm a total,
Card carrying.
Card carrying geek. I, I don't remember, um, I don't remember Apollo 11, even though my mother swears, I was, I guess I was five. My mother swears that, no, you were up like every other child in the world and you were in front of the TV, but I, I don't remember it. My first remembrance of space was the 1970 eclipse.
That eclipse. Yeah, there, there was a couple of big eclipses then. And the 71, that's the, I think that's the Carly Simon eclipse.
Which one? Total eclipse of the sun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, uh, yeah.
Went to Nova Scotia, right, right. That one went up to New England and but through the middle. It would have gone up right. It would have been where you lived, right?
Yes, I think my mother thought that when I stepped outside, my eyes would burst into flame in my side of my head. I think I was allowed out for like a second or something like that. Um, I, I, I, I remember the launches. I remember, I remember, um, the president welcoming people back. I ate space food sticks, you know, from Pillsbury, I think, or Carnation. I forgot who made them. And, um, I had little moon modules. Um, I was, I was thrilled. Uh, I remember we were, we were allowed the very first shuttle, uh, when the Enterprise came off the back of the.
The Enterprise was a non-orbiting shuttle. It was just to test the aerodynamics.
Exactly. And so, uh, NASA threw a bone to the geek, the, the Star Trek fans and called it Enterprise.
We were all impressed by how much you were able to mobilize the Colbert Nation to vote on your behalf for the space station. And I looked up the numbers. You had five times the number of votes than the next highest vote getting name for the space station module. So this, this is, this is impressive. It's a little scary, actually.
Well, all I can say is whatever the next one was like harmony or cooperation or something like that. They need to get a, a legion of rabid fans. They need a, they need a, a, a robot army to attack people like I have.
But did that response surprise you or did you? Because they could follow.
I am, I am, I have tremendous faith in the nation and I'm like, I was surprised in 2006 when we got, um, uh, 15 million votes for the bridge over, uh, the Danube in Hungary to be named after me when there are only 10 million people in Hungary. That surprised me a little bit. Once we achieved that, I thought like, I better be careful where I point this.
So it also means you can, you have the power to affect change in society that others wouldn't. So you could use sort of the humanitarian aspect of yourself to do that one day, perhaps.
If my character weren't hideously selfish, that would work out. But unfortunately, everything is just related to, he's the most insecure person. Let me show what I just got, and I'm sure this will play beautifully on the radio. But this is the patch, I'm holding the patch that is actually going to be put on the, um, what's called the Colbert, the Combined Operational Load-Bearing External Resistance Treadmill, which is-
This is the treadmill that got named after you as a consolation for NASA-
Lying to me, after NASA lied to me and America and broke their own rules so much for scientists. They named a new treadmill after me, which is being launched in August, and I hope to go down there for lunch, but I just looked at this treadmill and it's a little cartoon of me and my head on top of the cartoon, running on a treadmill and around it has my name, as all things must for my character, and I saw this today and I thought, my goodness, is he insecure? Does he need reaffirmation at all times? And that's why he'll never achieve anything good, because it always has to be about him.
So going forward, you're not without power of influence of people's feelings and moods.
I am enormously powerful, Neil.
No, your character is.
That's true, I forgot.
You're the geek, your character's got the power.
Exactly.
So we're, what do you think you can do going forward? We all know what the rest of us can do, but you have a unique platform.
I actually, I love having scientists on and, um, if I can have them on and, and add comedy to the fascination of their subject, then, well, that's, that's just a honeyball that might make people swallow what I think is the real treat, which is excitement and engagement, um, by questioning the world around you, because, um, oh, the world is so full of a number of things, I think we should all be as happy as kings. And all you have to do is look for the question that you want to ask about the natural world around you.
And, um, well, then you, you are given the gift of a lifetime of entertainment and enjoyment just by being alive.
Stephen Colbert, thanks for being on StarTalk.
Oh, it's my pleasure. Thank you.
That was great, listening to my interview with Stephen Colbert from back in season one. Still coming up in today's show, we sit down with comic royalty, the late Joan Rivers, and daily show funny man, Jon Stewart. Don't go anywhere. More of StarTalk Radio after this.
Welcome back to StarTalk Radio. I'm Neil deGrasse Tyson. You're listening to our first ever time capsule, a quick rewind on our comedic friends who have visited the show. My co-host Lynn Koplitz and I sat down with Joan Rivers and talked to her about almost anything and everything from our first season. StarTalk Radio is here in Joan Rivers' library, and I'm Neil deGrasse Tyson with Lynn Koplitz and Joan Rivers.
Joan, Joan. It's my library, I should be in here. Okay. Makes sense.
So Joan, uh, StarTalk, as you know, we, we talk to anybody who's got something to say about the universe, and we know you had stuff to say about everything, including the universe. So I just wanted to start off, I had like a bunch of questions I want to ask you. You realize that in space, particularly in orbit around Earth, there's like no gravity, there's like zero G, and on the moon, it's like one-sixth G. And so you realize it's, um, with less gravity, things float. Do you, do you have any thoughts about that? Do you ever thought of living in space because things float?
No, what I've thought about is, I know that if you go, uh, around the Earth, if you go backwards, you get younger.
That was in, in, in the movie Superman.
Yeah, but that, that's not real, though. That was just Superman.
Well, apparently Suzanne Somers now lives in a rocket ship.
So, no, I don't like the outfits, so I wouldn't live in outer space.
So it's all about the clothes?
Yes, I'm sorry.
I agree, but I like the idea of zero gravity, Joan, because, um, without zero gravity, gravity is what pulls everything down. So it does give us that, that more uplift. That's the only reason I would even consider going in space is the idea of I don't have that drag down.
So Joan, you don't need any more uplift, apparently?
No, no, no, no, the point is, yeah, so you, you would have things up, you'd still have to wear those stupid spacesuits.
Oh, good point.
They look like gay exterminators. I don't like the spacesuits.
Good point. So, so even, even if you're floating, no one knows because you're wearing a spacesuit.
Yes, you're in a stupid spacesuit, they don't know, you can't get your toes down, those big boots, the, the gravity boots. It is so not for me.
So, so you want open-toed gravity boots?
I would like if I was good, I will wait to go on the moon until they figure out a way you can look nice.
Now, I see, I could totally see you doing for QVC, something, something designer in the whole, the aerospace line. We could do first.
The moon pin?
And it makes you look thinner.
She looks thinner.
Joan is hilarious, what an icon she is.
Isn't she great? I, I think it sounds like, I love listening to this because I, you know, I haven't heard it yet, and it sounds like Joan and I are two little kids playing, and you keep coming in like the papa, like the teacher, like, and really astrophysicist.
That's because I'm sitting between the two of you during that interview. I felt like, you know, I'm, I'm like, why am I even here? You know, because you all just like resonating.
Because you were keeping us both down to earth and sane.
You know, and plus Joan's been around for many decades, as we know, and...
I don't think she'd appreciate that.
Well, no, she'd be, she'd admit to that, and she's of course around for the, in the 1960s, and we recently had, uh, in June 20th, July 20th, 2009 was of course the 40th anniversary of the Apollo 11 landing. And so always wanted to know what people were thinking and doing back then. And so very much, I, I wanted to know that from Joan. Let's find out what she had to tell us.
Okay.
I was at Fire Island and I remember that we had a wonderful little house, my husband and I, and we had friends over and I remember sitting and watching, as we all did, on television, watching them land on the moon. And then all those insane rumors started that they were, they didn't land on the moon, they did it in a, in New Jersey, in a, in a-
In a hangar?
In a hangar, remember all that stupidity? And it was very exciting and I remember that China, do you remember this? Came out and said, "We have our own space plant and we will have," I remember this clearly, "a restaurant up on the moon in 2001." China made a big announcement and Israel already made reservations.
I remember China saying that, "You think you're so smart, we will have a restaurant up on the moon in 25 years." And I thought, "Oh, just say how smart we are."
Well, I have to say, but it would have no atmosphere.
No, oh, oh.
Am I allowed to crack a joke every now and then?
You're allowed to try, baby. It was really fun because I got to go back to some of the shows that I really loved.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
And, um, and that I thought were comically rich, that I thought Joan would really enjoy. And, you know, I, one of the best ones was The Virgin Galactic.
Oh, space tourism, we had to bring that subject to her.
Uh, uh, we just had to because I just, you know, I interviewed people on the street for that show and, um, just so people at home know what we're talking about. It was on space tourism and Richard Branson, um, has Virgin Galactic.
The space entre, the, the aviation entrepreneur, Richard billionaire.
Yeah, and he's not going on the first voyage, but, but he's really pleased to take 200 grand from you to put you on it.
Selling tickets to it.
Yeah, and, um, and everyone, I interviewed people on the street and, and a lot of seniors were all for it and a lot of the young people were like, "Heck no." And you yourself, Neil, said no. You were like, "I'll try the fifth or sixth one."
I, I'd heard too much about maiden voyages of ships.
Exactly, we've seen blimps blow up, no thank you.
I've seen those stories.
So I wanted to know what Joan, at, at 75 years old, what her reaction would be.
Well, let's find out.
Only if there was a first class section.
There isn't. Jojo, right now, there's no flight attendant, or meal included. Nope. Uh-uh. You can sit next to anyone. Nope.
Nope, nope.
You might not even have a bathroom, because it's just a flight up and then back. It's just like, it's a suborbital and you come back.
No, I definitely like first class. I like my own bathroom. I want to be given earplugs. I want to be given... No, I would not go.
Wouldn't you be angry if you didn't get a window seat? That was my whole thing.
For 200 grand?
For 200 grand, I want a thing that you can sleep on.
Absolutely.
Sleep a seat.
A flight attendant.
For 200 grand, rubbing your feet.
Eight flight attendants? I want three gay men lined up.
So, we, we asked Joan about aliens in space visiting us and, uh, you know, what she thought about that.
Do you think that there is life out, out in outer space, as we know life?
That's a perfect question, excellent question, and if you look at how big the universe is, and how common the chemistry is of life, we're made of ingredients that you find everywhere in the universe: Carbon, nitrogen, oxygen. It's the most common ingredients in the universe, and the universe is vast, and it's been around a long time. It would be inexcusably egocentric to suggest that life on Earth is alone in the cosmos.
But, we keep thinking the search is for intelligent life. What we might find is like pond scum. Like, at this point, we're dumbing it down.
We're sliming over anything. Anything, any, any. So, so, that's an interesting point. If, if we find life out there, it could be smarter than us, or dumber, right? Do you have like a feeling about that? If they're smarter than us, are you worried they might treat us the way we treat, that would make us pets?
Right, right. But I always wonder, the whole universe, it's something so incomprehensible to me. Because where does it stop? Where do you fall off? You know, and if it goes on forever, are there other planets that we could eventually connect with?
Should we fear aliens coming to us, or should they fear us if we visit them?
No, I think we should be terrified if they're coming to us. Terrified. I don't want to know about it. I don't have to make friends with them. I don't want to wear a dog collar. I'm not interested in them saying she used to be a funny person on, on Earth. But the way what we...
You could end up a pet. You could end up a pet in someone's house.
I could be a rescue pet.
You could rescue a lot worse pets, I tell you what. She would be one heck of a rescue pet.
Comedians are observers of culture and science is, I think, when it's the material for comedians, I'm charmed and tickled to realize that it can be of comedic substance. I mean, I can't... No, we asked Joan. I was curious what her educational background is, because no one ever asks that of a comic.
Yeah, no one cares. They're like, "Just dance, monkey, dance." But she's a very smart woman, very smart businesswoman, and very smart... You know, Joan is that rare breed of book smart and common sense smart.
And then you can turn that into a fortune. I asked her, what science should she study? Let's find out.
I loved biology. I was very good in biology. I was very good in geometry. I was a terrific geometry student, because it's very logical, and I like the logic of it.
Have you used geometry? You said you majored in geometry. Did you use geometry?
I've never used geometry. I just loved it because it made... I love things that make sense, and you can control. And geometry is a very controllable science.
Well, okay, since so is humor and comedy, right? So do you...
No, no, no. Comedy is not controllable, because you can think something is very funny, and nobody else does. You don't control an audience. You could never control an audience. But geometry, yes, you can control this to that equals this. It's controllable, and that's it. And you can't change it, and I can't change it, and that's it. Comedy, you have some idiot in the front row that can ruin your whole show. So there's nothing to do with it.
Neil was talking... Neil's always asking me if there's a formula to joke writing. And my type of joke writing, there's no formula. I'm just kind of... I don't work that hard.
You can't. There's no formula.
No. I don't think so either.
And the strangest things they think are funny. You know, you'll write and work on something you think is hilarious, and it isn't, and then you'll say, "Wheeze", and they'll go, "Ah!", and you go, "That's funny. Okay, that stays in the act."
I always have them laugh at the setup. Like, I'll set up a joke and they'll laugh and laugh. And I'm like, really? I haven't even gotten there yet. I don't understand why we're laughing.
Okay, so we conclude that comedy is not geometry.
It's not geometry. It is not, it is not a science. Comedy is, there is no such thing as a science of comedy. And people that try to teach it, I feel, are so cruel. So if anyone is listening out there, if you've got any kind of a logical mind, don't take a course in comedy.
Lessons for the, for the, for those in school. You're listening to a rewind of our first ever Time Capsule Show. I'm the host of Star Talk Radio, Neil deGrasse Tyson. We'll be back with more Joan Rivers and Jon Stewart, coming up.
This is Star Talk Radio, and I'm Neil deGrasse Tyson. Welcome back to our Time Capsule Show. Let's finish up our interview with the late comedic legend, Joan Rivers. I always want to know if somebody owns a telescope and what people's reactions are to them. So, I asked that of Joan. Let's see what she says. We did a whole show on telescopes. That was in fact our opening show. Yeah, so, because it was the anniversary of Galileo, 400th anniversary of Galileo and his telescope.
I dated him.
The telescope was, he had a very small, you know what, and so he made it small.
It was small.
It was an extension. You know how men...
The bigger the telescope, the smaller the...
Yes. The bigger the telescope.
Oh, Joan, our, the, our listening crowd are right now peeling Spock ears back, getting so angry. We're not going to watch that roast. How dare she?
So, did you ever own a telescope?
Yes, as a matter of fact, I have one, uh, I have a country house and I have, uh, views of the mountains and I love to look at them. I own a telescope. Also, again, it's a great decorating prop.
When you say you love, you look at the, you love to look at them, you love to look at the sky or you love the mountains, not the other neighbors?
No, no, I like to look at the mountains in the fall, cause it's pretty. I don't care what it, no. But I, I think it's, I think it's, um, wonderful. I love the heavens. I think they're very beautiful. I can't even find the stupid Milky Way, though. I'm not very good.
Well, not from New York, you're not gonna find the Milky Way. You gotta be like in the boonies for that.
I feel better than, cause I, I can't find the North Star. If I was stuck in a boat, I'd be screwed.
No, they'll give you GPS and then you're good.
Oh, yeah.
When Stephen Colbert was on the show, we asked, you asked him a great question that I love about, about, about science and where did he feel we should be mine now?
Yeah, yeah.
And he was frustrated because he said he thought he would have his own robot and flying cars. So, we asked Joan the same thing.
What she wanted for, for, out of science by now?
Yeah, what, what she, what she expected.
Okay, let's see what she said.
My cousin married a woman who was at Harvard, who worked on making spaceships edible. Because if anybody got, worked on this the day she died, in a program at Harvard, because if they went up and they got stuck in space, it would take them like eight or 10 years to get somebody else up there to bring them back. So, she would say, "How are you, Shirley?" And she'd say, "We made the most delicious split pea desk."
That's nasty.
It's really true. Really.
It makes sense, though, when you think about it, because...
If they're stuck up there and they say, "Lynn, we can't, we're starting right now, Lynn, to figure out how to get you down. We'll be up there in 2014. What are you gonna do? You're gonna start eating your spaceship."
Uh, uh, that's what I was gonna say is, first of all, I would lose weight before I went up, cause I'm, I would not want people looking at me with a bottle of A1 going, "Oh, she's got the big booty. We start with her." We finished with that little one over there. This is the one we start with. I asked her if she'd ever seen a UFO.
Oh, you did, okay. Let's, let's see what she has.
No, but I have a friend who is doing a documentary on us. And, uh, she has interviewed so many really smart people who will not give out their names because they feel it will really hurt them by saying they have seen it. I have not seen it. A friend of mine in Connecticut, uh, saw them and they're very, she and the husband saw it in their car together. But I don't know, I never had anyone from Harvard or Yale ever come up and say, "I've seen a UFO." It's always like two idiots with no teeth. You know, "I saw it, I was, you know, I was skinning a rabbit and there it was."
A possum.
Or they use it as some sort of excuse for something. "I'm sorry I didn't come home. I was abducted by aliens and probed."
But I also had another friend who's very smart, who, um, he, he does Alf. You remember Alf?
The, the funny little comic.
The show, the, the TV show, Alf.
TV show and the character. And he writes Alf. And he swears he was in his house at Malibu and he opened up his eyes and there was this thing hovering right outside his window. And then, uh, woke his wife up, showed it to her, and then again it went away. So I know two people I respect that have seen them. And then a lot of people that are asses that I don't respect that have seen them.
But none of them are dragged to like an alien carcass in front of you to look at?
No, but my cousin Sheila claims they abducted her from a Starbucks. And they took her towards, I think it was Venus. And they let her go because she kept saying, "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
But we asked her one last question. I was, what, what did, what did she want to see happen in her lifetime scientifically? What kind of discovery? What? Just in her lifetime. I don't know how many more years she's got. What does she tell us?
That Bernie Madoff gets out of jail, calls me up and tells me where the $62 billion are.
Then you can die.
After Bernie and I spend it all.
He'd be a good one to slap.
What would I like to see? I would like to see the planet cleaned up. I think it's, we're being very serious for a second, I shouldn't be. But I think it's a disgrace what we are doing to our atmosphere. It is a disgrace what we are doing to our planet. And I think we'd better clean ourselves up. And also, I'd like to, I'd like to live until they can tell me nothing is gonna fly in from outer space and destroy us. That is very scary when they say, "A meteorite may come down and may kill you." And that's terrible, which makes me wanna charge up more on my Amex card.
That's so funny, I have the same way. Can you tell me exactly when it's gonna hit?
Wait, wait, actually, so it's not the day we'll tell you it'll never hit. It's the day we tell you that if it's headed towards us, we can do something about it.
Yes, yes, yes, I just wanna know. Science, I think, wastes so much time on stupid things. And I think we should clean up the universe, clean up the space. And, uh, don't worry about going out into space, they'll come and find us.
So Joan, any parting thoughts for the StarTalk audience?
Just that I think how wonderful it would be if there was something out there. And if they were all single and Jewish.
A billion thanks to Joan Rivers for joining us on StarTalk Radio. Now let's get to our next interview with TV star and comedian Jon Stewart. He sat down with us to talk about his then-new book, Earth: A Visitor's Guide to the Human Race. Check it out. It's his book that's out now, Earth: A Visitor's Guide to the Human Race. And in this book, it's imagined as just something that we leave behind after we're extinct and aliens come and find it, and that's how they learn all about us.
The idea that we've been stalking the universe for all this time.
So let's, let's begin that interview. And in fact, it was, I taped it live in his office a few weeks ago. And we're slicing it into our program and we can chat about it as we interrupt it at will to comment on where it's going and where it's coming. Let's start it off.
Very good.
Love your book. Man, what a, what a concept that is. I don't know why nobody did it thirty, forty years ago. Because nobody wanted to waste that much time. But we did here at the show. Everything, everything is in that book. It is hilarious, it is fun. And the full title's Earth.
The book.
The book. And the premise there is civilization's gone. All that's left is here is the book. And they pick up the book and this is how they learn about us.
This is our record of the entirety of man's existence here on this earth.
This is like the Voyager record that went out into space. That captured culture.
Stardate. The only difference is it's obviously abbreviated somehow. In that 234 pages.
What's your, what's your favorite part of that book? I have my favorite parts and I'll share them with you in a minute.
The favorite parts for me are the smallest jokes that we came up with in periods of delirium. Like it was never a good idea to judge a book by its cover. And it's a picture of Wuthering Heights. And on it was a picture of a dog going to the bathroom. You know, that kind of thing. So they just, some of the most ridiculous little silly jokes are some of my favorites.
And, and what I like about it is its breadth of subjects that it covers. For example, in the section on psychology, there's no real psychology listed there.
Well, I was a psychology major, so I know just how little there is to list. There's really nothing.
So you have all this like pseudo-scientific stuff listed there.
That's right.
You're just telling it like it is.
Telling it like it is.
So it's, it's taken names and, and Pluto is in there. Pluto is in there.
I will not back down from Pluto.
You still haven't gotten over it.
Can I tell you something though? We did.
You couldn't keep it out of your book.
We did call it a trans-Neptunian object.
That's good.
We did not call it a planet.
You got the science right. That's good.
We don't want to mess around.
One of my favorite parts is where you talk about how we all thought everything revolved around us. And the evolution of that thought and what remained after it like. Okay. So we learned we're not in the center of everything, but there's still sort of a holdout. Right. It's like.
An arrogance.
An arrogance. So, but we nonetheless named the planets after gods.
What we learned is that we were in control of our destiny, that there was no real spirituality. That was all a series of chemical interactions, but we named the planets after gods just to be sure. You just didn't know. Okay. That's what we think. But at the end of the day, let's say we're wrong. Hey, look, Saturn, huh? Saturn, you're Saturn, Saturn.
You don't want to piss them off too bad.
That's exactly right. So we work it all through.
And there are people who think there's actually a face on Mars. Who are these people? Do they watch your show?
Yeah, I would assume, I would hope so. Well, you know, the man on the moon, there's always a big thing that, that there was a face on the moon. You know, craters from this distance.
But they didn't think it was actually a man on the moon. They just said it looked like it. The people are thinking there's actual civilizations on Mars. Or that, you know, or Mount Rushmore was naturally carved. The people who do-
You know, the Mount Rushmore being naturally carved is probably because people are confusing Mount Rushmore with something else. So they're hearing Mount Rushmore. It's a lack of knowledge of what Mount Rushmore is, more than you would show them a mountain with presidents' heads on it. And then they would go, "That's gotta be wind, right?"
That is so hopeful for this country that you say that.
No, no, no, I'm sure that's what it is.
That is so hopeful.
Whenever they ask those questions, it's always like, "Is Mount Rushmore a natural?" And people always think like, "Oh, right, Mount Rushmore." They're just thinking of a different-
I wish I had that much hope.
Oh, I absolutely have that much hope. Although my kids still believe the moon is following them.
And how old are they?
Twenty-eight, twenty-six.
Yeah, okay.
Six and four.
But they believe that the moon is following.
And that daddy is powerless to stop it.
Why don't they credit daddy with the power for having done that in the first place?
Here's what they credited daddy with, "The power to tint our windows so that we can roll them up and not see the moon anymore." Other than that.
You missed out on a-
They know daddy's got nothing.
On a power opportunity over your kids.
That's exactly-
Saying, "I have, it is by the power that I have over the cosmos that I make the moon follow us and nobody else."
Listen, I put the milk on the highest rack in the refrigerator. Believe me, I have the power. There's nothing that happens in that house. They're not, they can't open a juice box. I don't need to lord it over them anymore.
More with Jon Stewart, right now. No topic is left untouched in Jon Stewart's book, including religion. And I don't know that he's ever been charitable to religious thinking.
Yeah, I think he is definitely a comic who has a point of view. And I like it.
So, in our next segment, I talk to him about the religious content of the book, and see where his points of view take us.
Interesting.
So let's go right on in and find out what he says. So, in this book, it touches all parts of culture, and people, and time.
Religion, science.
Religion. What do you say about religion in there, do you remember?
We just mentioned it as being a 100% purely positive thing, and nothing ever going wrong. I think.
Not. I'll tell you what it says.
I think it was, "Religion provided great comfort to a world torn apart by religion." I believe that was the ending.
Period. That's all that you got.
Now, here's the thing. Here's a good question.
Where are we going with science? What if science is just leading us to a religious epiphany? Do you ever wonder about that?
Well, some people speculated about it. Like, we find the God particle, or the theory of everything, or the Big Bang, or... And science has its sort of god-like figures. In your book, you list science gods: Newton and Einstein. You have Edison in there.
Marie Curie.
Yeah, yeah. So, science has its idols. And it also has its martyrs.
Has its idols, its martyrs, and its faith, to some extent. Isn't a hypothesis, to some extent, faith?
Yeah, the difference is, when you find out the hypothesis is wrong, you stop believing in it. See, that's the difference.
The difference is, you will, but no one knows yet if religion is wrong. No one has yet to figure out, they may figure out that the books that man created for it are wrong. But they have yet to prove religion itself is wrong.
Yeah, cuz it's hard to prove a negative. Yeah, yeah, that's.
Well, I'll tell Papa.
I'm just, I'm just.
I'm just saying.
Do you think scientists have just pure faith in methodology?
Well, it's worked before, so we keep at it. I mean, you'd need the faith if you tried it before and it never worked, but you keep trying it. That would require faith. But if it's worked before, do you wanna call that faith? I call it, hey, it worked before.
You're talking about it, that's experience.
Scientific method.
Yeah, it's experience.
Can I tell them I love the scientific method?
It's awesome. And people overdefine it. People overdefine the science. You know what it is? It's do whatever it takes to not fool yourself. Period. That's the scientific method.
I always thought it was to create something recreatable.
Yeah, but to know that you've done it successfully, you have to make sure your bias didn't affect your measurements. So, so you write it down instead of just trying to remember cuz your brain, that brains don't.
Are there things in theoretical physics, are there theoretical physicists that you are uncomfortable with their relying on scientific method? And do they ever in any way veer into the lane of faith? Dark matter, that kind of thing?
Uh, no, we, we measured.
Not dark matter, uh, what was it called?
There's dark energy, there's dark matter, there's string theory.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, well, there's some branches of science that are not really susceptible to experiment. And so these folks are out there on the dangling, bleeding edge of inquiry. But it's a pencil, a paper, maybe a laptop. They're not expensive to keep in business. So, I don't, I don't lose sleep over that.
Right.
These are the.
What about the climate stuff? Is that, do you lose any sleep?
The climate stuff, man, people, here's the problem.
It's become so political.
Here's the problem. People think that the criterion for believing something is whether or not it feels good. That that's the measure of truth, if it made you feel good. And there's something wrong about that. That's a recipe for disaster. It's the ostrich with the head in the sand. I don't wanna know about it cuz it'd make me feel bad. I will only believe and listen to the stuff that makes me feel good. And if I have this investment in the oil industry, I'll believe what makes me feel good about that.
Let me go the other way, though. Is it also though people have become calloused to the dire warnings that are no longer valid? Is it ostrich head in the sand or boy who cried wolf? Because there is also-
Or sky falling. Yeah, yeah, we got all of them, yeah.
We got all of them. And trying to discern between those can be very difficult.
Yeah. So I guess when the science has a fuzzy edge where we can say this might happen in the next 50 years, people, yeah, people don't know how to deal with that, that uncertainty.
Yeah. But I say the sum rises-
And there's also, it's difficult now because there is no organization that has earned a certain credibility anymore. There is no Walter Cronkite of science. Does that make sense?
Yeah. Someone where everyone turns to and says, this is the man who tells it like it is and we'll all believe it even if it's uncomfortable.
That's right. And who will also tell us the things that are uncomfortable that are not true.
So we need a Walter Cronkite of science.
Done. And I have a nomination. Want to hear my nomination?
Who's your nomination?
You! No heavy sigh? What kind of heavy sigh is that?
And that's the way it will be.
Alright, that's not it.
You are the Walter Cronkite of science.
That's the way it once was. A big part of the appendix of-
It's great.
-John Stewart's book explores ways that we might have gone extinct. And I wanted to find out what inventive ways he came up, he and his staff of writers came up with to explore just that-
Oh, you guys talk about that now?
Just that possibility. Let's check it out. Tell me about the appendix of your book. Does it actually say how humans die out?
You know, you hate to be a spoiler. Now, do we know?
Look, the aliens are coming to Earth with no people, so some, something happened-
You want them to get to the end of the book. You don't, they don't know why we're gone. So you want to give them eight different possible ways-
What's the top scenario?
Shark be hybrid. Genetic shark be. Killer shark.
What is that?
What is that? It's a flying killer shark.
These are the geneticists gone wild.
Geneticist gone wild. What nobody did, you know, in the meetings, they said, hey, what if we combine a killer bee with a killer shark? Nobody raised their hand and said, you know, I'm not so sure that's a great idea. So they went ahead and did it.
No one said, let's not do that.
And wouldn't you know it, imagine killer sharks that live in giant hives and just come out.
And they can fly and swim.
To get you no matter what you're doing.
There's no way of getting around it.
Wow. Okay. Is that the number one? That's the number one likelihood?
I don't like to rank them, but yeah.
Okay. Well, that's scary.
I think that's pretty likely.
That's a scary thing.
Pretty likely.
Sharks that hang out in hives.
That's right. Well, they're not sharks necessarily. They're shark bees.
Shark bees, of course, of course. Sharks be hybrid.
And they've been bred.
Bred to render us extinct.
Yes. Okay. So what else is on the list?
Obviously, technology overtaking us.
Except it never has in the past.
Well, no, that's why it's a future. It's not a history book. It's a future book.
Okay. Stupid comment on my part. Yes.
Exactly. Now, I'm not suggesting that in the future, you won't be able to send yourself back to the past to stop the robots.
To kill the grandmother of the robot so that it doesn't, yeah, I'll come back naked.
That's right. Thank God this is radio. So there's that. Obviously, superbug, you know, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna lie to you.
Like a, like a virus kind of bug.
Like an andromeda strain.
Yeah, yeah, okay, that's cool.
Turns us all to dust.
Yeah. For those who are not old enough, in the andromeda strain, the, the virus rendered blood into powder. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And like instantaneously, where like you'd walk out in the street and you're like, cars would still be there, everything.
Everything, yeah, you're in.
People were just frozen.
In situ death.
What a great movie that is.
Uh, oh, Death by Black Hole, Hadron Collider, the guys are like, oh, there's nothing gonna go wrong here. Bonk. Wrong. Oh, we're not gonna create a molecule that eats all other molecules. Wrong. If the world ends in that scenario, the last words uttered on Earth by man will be, hey, it worked.
Jon Stewart, thank you for being our inaugural guest. Stop it. I enjoyed it very much. For StarTalk Radio. A big shout out to all the guests, and I hope you enjoyed our first time capsule show. I'm Neil deGrasse Tyson, and until next time, keep looking up.
Page updated September 29, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated
