Boiled Hamburgers w/ Brad Williams

Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! SALE 70% off for new members!! http://patreon.com/badfriends/join?utm_campaign=public_sale Thank you to our Sponsors: Acorns & Shopify • Acorns: Head to https://acorns.com/badfriends or download the Acorns app to get started. • Shopify: Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/badfriends YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Audio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbylee.live More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@7equis Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.com/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  You two are bad friends.

• 0:01Speaker 01

  Who are these two idiots?

• 0:03Speaker 00

  A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting.

• 0:08Speaker 01

  Oh, you two are something.

• 0:10Speaker 00

  We're bad friends.

• 0:12Andrew Santino?

  Somebody's back from out of town. He's tired. He's sad. He's down. He's drinking coffee, coffee. Bam bam bam bam bam bam bam.

• 0:19Bobby Lee?

  Great. Thanks for coming out to Sa- uh, Lincoln. That show was great.

• 0:24Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 0:25Bobby Lee?

  Exactly.

• 0:26Andrew Santino?

  Oh, thank you for coming out.

• 0:27Bobby Lee?

  And you were great.

• 0:27Andrew Santino?

  Oh, Sacramento, Lincoln, California.

• 0:29Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 0:30Andrew Santino?

  What a good show.

• 0:31Bobby Lee?

  Exactly.

• 0:32Andrew Santino?

  I didn't know what you were saying. You were like, thanks for taking it, liking it.

• 0:34Bobby Lee?

  Lincoln. Well, because I was trying to think, is it Sac or Lincoln?

• 0:37Andrew Santino?

  It was. They said it was something else, didn't they?

• 0:40Bobby Lee?

  Didn't they say it was Lincoln?

• 0:41Speaker 04

  Lincoln.

• 0:41Andrew Santino?

  Oh, Lincoln.

• 0:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 0:42Andrew Santino?

  Lincoln Logs.

• 0:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so, um, thanks for coming. That was a great show. You were on fire that night.

• 0:47Andrew Santino?

  What do you mean? You killed it.

• 0:49Bobby Lee?

  And, um...

• 0:50Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 0:51Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean?

• 0:51Andrew Santino?

  You just shrugged me off.

• 0:53Bobby Lee?

  No, I didn't.

• 0:53Andrew Santino?

  You did.

• 0:54Bobby Lee?

  No, because it-

• 0:55Andrew Santino?

  Check the tape!

• 0:56Bobby Lee?

  I know, but I'll tell you why.

• 0:57Andrew Santino?

  Why?

• 0:58Bobby Lee?

  Because I'm, because I know if I said what I was gonna say, that was gonna start a fight. So I didn't say what I was gonna say.

• 1:04Andrew Santino?

  Say what you were gonna say.

• 1:04Bobby Lee?

  I didn't think I had a great set. And now, here we go, that.

• 1:08Andrew Santino?

  It's annoying.

• 1:08Bobby Lee?

  So that's why I edited it out.

• 1:09Andrew Santino?

  Okay, well, let's go to something better. Fancy was wasted.

• 1:13Bobby Lee?

  You were wasted.

• 1:13Andrew Santino?

  I've never seen you that drunk.

• 1:14Bobby Lee?

  I've never seen you drunk at all, ever.

• 1:15Andrew Santino?

  Hammered.

• 1:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:16Andrew Santino?

  You were hammered.

• 1:17Speaker 04

  One drink.

• 1:18Andrew Santino?

  One drink? You're a liar.

• 1:19Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, no. I, I, I poured you whiskey. You drank that.

• 1:23Andrew Santino?

  Bobby poured you a full glass.

• 1:24Bobby Lee?

  But I have to say, onstage, though, you had the two biggest laughs out of, even both of us. See? Right? See was, that's a home run.

• 1:36Andrew Santino?

  Perfect.

• 1:36Bobby Lee?

  The timing of it.

• 1:37Andrew Santino?

  It was so-

• 1:38Bobby Lee?

  So good. What was the second punchline? It was a big one.

• 1:41Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you got one more big pop. You got two pops.

• 1:44Bobby Lee?

  It was based on somebody that was onstage. It was a guy.

• 1:46Speaker 04

  Personality.

• 1:47Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, personality, person, yeah, personality.

• 1:50Speaker 04

  I'm one word, uh-

• 1:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I looked at you as if to say, you know-

• 1:58Bobby Lee?

  Congratulations.

• 1:59Andrew Santino?

  Sometimes.

• 2:00Bobby Lee?

  You hit the ball.

• 2:01Andrew Santino?

  Sometimes he really hits it hard.

• 2:02Bobby Lee?

  Really huge, rippling laughs.

• 2:04Andrew Santino?

  And because of that, we got a little gift for you here. This says, "Hey, bad friends, I found this Fancy B special while thrifting and just had to send it along. Thanks for the making all the best podcasts on the internet. Your number 69 fan, Mike." Shout out to Mike. He, of course, gave Fancy a shirt I'm sure he owns.

• 2:21Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that was an Israeli flag.

• 2:22Andrew Santino?

  It is.

• 2:26Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 2:26Bobby Lee?

  From Netanyahu.

• 2:27Andrew Santino?

  Do you own this shirt?

• 2:28Speaker 04

  I do not.

• 2:30Bobby Lee?

  That does not look good. You think that looks good? That does not look good.

• 2:34Andrew Santino?

  Desigual.

• 2:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 2:35Andrew Santino?

  It's also double XL, which looks, it looks...

• 2:38Bobby Lee?

  Is that a desigual?

• 2:39Speaker 04

  I think so.

• 2:40Andrew Santino?

  It's a desigual.

• 2:41Bobby Lee?

  What? Oh, from a thrift store. Oh, it's an antique, like what, a thrifty...

• 2:46Andrew Santino?

  Imagine on Antiques Roadshow, somebody's like, "I found this in an attic. It's a desigual shirt."

• 2:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 2:52Andrew Santino?

  And they're like, "These things are amazing. They're very valuable."

• 2:55Bobby Lee?

  You mean 100 years from now?

• 2:56Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah. Almost nobody wore them.

• 2:58Bobby Lee?

  No one wore them. Only one guy from Spain. He was their man in clientele.

• 3:02Andrew Santino?

  Desigual was founded in Barcelona in 1984 by Swiss businessman Thomas Meyer. The brand regenerated with the aim of creating a different, meaning, desigual. Affordable fashion style that stood out, characterized by vibrant colors, patchwork, and bold Mediterranean-inspired designs.

• 3:22Andrew Santino?

  It was founded on the concept of upcycling, starting with a jacket made from reassembled patches of used denim. So it's old shit that they threw together and then sold to you at a premium.

• 3:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I mean...

• 3:33Andrew Santino?

  Brilliant.

• 3:34Bobby Lee?

  Conceptually, it's cool. It's just, I think they're using the wrong patterns.

• 3:37Andrew Santino?

  Execution...

• 3:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, the execution is bad. I think the idea is good.

• 3:41Andrew Santino?

  It is very.

• 3:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 3:42Andrew Santino?

  But they've...

• 3:43Bobby Lee?

  Like, I can take this, right? And then this and put it into a shirt, but necessarily it doesn't look good.

• 3:48Andrew Santino?

  Doesn't look good like that.

• 3:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta find the right combination, I think.

• 3:52Andrew Santino?

  You haven't found your groove.

• 3:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 3:53Andrew Santino?

  The emperor has yet to find his new groove.

• 3:55Speaker 04

  I'll keep trying.

• 3:56Andrew Santino?

  But it was incredible time up in Sacramento.

• 3:58Speaker 04

  Incredible.

• 3:58Andrew Santino?

  And then you immediately come home and you jumped on a flight to go across the country once again. You, you, you gotta be...

• 4:05Bobby Lee?

  I'm exhausted.

• 4:05Andrew Santino?

  You're Amelia Earhart, dog. You're flying all over the place.

• 4:08Bobby Lee?

  Well, also, it's like, uh, so we finished the show Saturday and then I get, we fly back that night. And then I show up to the airport pretty early and then five hour delay.

• 4:17Andrew Santino?

  Five hour?

• 4:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 4:19Andrew Santino?

  I'm going home.

• 4:19Bobby Lee?

  TSA. Yeah, so I'm sitting there at the airport, had, had, had not slept, went to Philly, then shoot.

• 4:27Andrew Santino?

  Are they still on strike? Or is it bad on the way back?

• 4:30Bobby Lee?

  It, it's bad.

• 4:31Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 4:32Bobby Lee?

  Oh, it's bad, yeah. Houston really hard still for weeks, five hour. It's really bad.

• 4:36Andrew Santino?

  Well, I don't care about Houston, but yeah, but out here.

• 4:39Bobby Lee?

  I told Honey to buy me 5,000 Smart Waters, which is what we're doing.

• 4:44Andrew Santino?

  5,000?

• 4:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 4:45Andrew Santino?

  Smart, why do you, you like Smart Water?

• 4:47Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no, it's not that I like it, it's just that, um, I have this fear that the world is ending.

• 4:52Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 4:52Bobby Lee?

  So I'm gonna get seeds, I'm gonna do a whole thing.

• 4:54Andrew Santino?

  You, you're gonna get seeds?

• 4:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 4:56Andrew Santino?

  What kind of seeds?

• 4:56Bobby Lee?

  Sunflower, barbecue ranch.

• 4:58Andrew Santino?

  That's all you need to eat.

• 5:01Bobby Lee?

  No, I mean, the, the plant.

• 5:02Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 5:02Bobby Lee?

  To plant!

• 5:03Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 5:03Bobby Lee?

  To plant!

• 5:04Andrew Santino?

  Sunflowers are hard.

• 5:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:05Andrew Santino?

  You could chew on those for days.

• 5:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna get that, you know what I mean, chili lime, the, the Hispanic one.

• 5:10Andrew Santino?

  I like those.

• 5:11Bobby Lee?

  If you plant those, maybe a chili lime, sunflower seed will.

• 5:13Andrew Santino?

  Just a Mexican guy grows in your backyard?

• 5:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna convert my backyard, cause I have the, um, that, that, um, not asphalt, but the fake grass. What do you call that?

• 5:23Andrew Santino?

  Fake grass.

• 5:23Bobby Lee?

  If that's what I call it?

• 5:24Andrew Santino?

  I think so.

• 5:25Bobby Lee?

  I mean, what do they call it?

• 5:26Andrew Santino?

  I mean turf.

• 5:27Bobby Lee?

  Turf.

• 5:27Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 5:27Bobby Lee?

  I have turf. I'm gonna take that out, put real American soil on there.

• 5:31Andrew Santino?

  American soil.

• 5:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna put American soil on there, man. I'm gonna get American seeds, you know what I mean? I'm not growing hummus.

• 5:43Bobby Lee?

  I'm growing hummus, dude.

• 5:43Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 5:44Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? American shit, tomatoes.

• 5:46Andrew Santino?

  Is that a Netanyahu joke?

• 5:47Bobby Lee?

  That's not a Netanyahu joke.

• 5:48Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it is.

• 5:49Bobby Lee?

  No, it's not, dude.

• 5:50Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, okay.

• 5:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I'm not doing, uh, that, I'm not doing fucking goya. Is goya, is goya a thing?

• 5:56Andrew Santino?

  What is goya, though?

• 5:56Bobby Lee?

  I don't know.

• 5:57Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 5:58Bobby Lee?

  It just sounds like a Greek thing, I don't know. It's Hispanic. It's Hispanic, yeah, I'm not, only American, you know, I mean, vegetables and.

• 6:05Andrew Santino?

  Hot dogs, cheeseburger.

• 6:06Bobby Lee?

  You can't grow hot dogs.

• 6:07Andrew Santino?

  Pretzels.

• 6:08Bobby Lee?

  No, no, I'm saying, growing vegetables and fruits.

• 6:10Andrew Santino?

  Well, you don't grow hummus either.

• 6:12Bobby Lee?

  You don't grow hummus?

• 6:13Andrew Santino?

  Chickpeas.

• 6:13Bobby Lee?

  It's a bean.

• 6:14Andrew Santino?

  It's chickpeas.

• 6:15Bobby Lee?

  It's a chickpea. Well, how do you get chickpeas?

• 6:17Andrew Santino?

  You grow it.

• 6:17Bobby Lee?

  Exactly. That's what I'm saying. No chickpeas.

• 6:19Andrew Santino?

  No chickpeas in our house.

• 6:21Bobby Lee?

  Not, well, no, I mean, I'll eat it like if I'm with, you know.

• 6:23Andrew Santino?

  No, it's American. We're not doing that.

• 6:25Bobby Lee?

  No, I love hummus, but I'm just saying.

• 6:26Andrew Santino?

  All right.

• 6:28Bobby Lee?

  I do love hummus, but.

• 6:29Andrew Santino?

  But look, chickpeas are very easy to grow.

• 6:31Bobby Lee?

  Oh, fuck.

• 6:31Andrew Santino?

  Nutrient dense and drought tolerant legumes that thrive in warm weather maturing in 90 days.

• 6:35Bobby Lee?

  All right, I'll get chickpeas.

• 6:36Andrew Santino?

  All right, we got it.

• 6:37Bobby Lee?

  I'll do chickpeas.

• 6:38Andrew Santino?

  We'll be hummus boys.

• 6:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we'll be hummus boys, but I just think that I have this fear that something's about to happen. So I'm gonna Y2K this.

• 6:46Andrew Santino?

  So you think the global.

• 6:47Bobby Lee?

  Is that the one that, right?

• 6:48Andrew Santino?

  Yes.

• 6:48Bobby Lee?

  Y2K, yeah.

• 6:49Andrew Santino?

  And you know what happened there? Nothing.

• 6:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I know.

• 6:52Andrew Santino?

  So it's gonna be the same result.

• 6:53Bobby Lee?

  It doesn't matter, though, because it could have happened.

• 6:55Andrew Santino?

  The global food source will be depleted, in your opinion, in the next couple of years. We're about to run out.

• 6:59Bobby Lee?

  Well, the straight of hummus is closed. We don't know when that's gonna open up, so it's like.

• 7:02Andrew Santino?

  Well, just make it crooked then. Crooked the hummus if we can.

• 7:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 7:05Andrew Santino?

  Stop straightening that thing out.

• 7:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you know what I should have done? Not what I should have done.

• 7:11Andrew Santino?

  Should you have done?

• 7:13Bobby Lee?

  I'm so tired. Um, you know, 200 years ago, they should just widen that thing. But they have foresight, you know what I mean? But I'd be like, hey, we could make it wider. What, the straight? Yeah, wider.

• 7:26Andrew Santino?

  Be good.

• 7:27Bobby Lee?

  Be good.

• 7:28Andrew Santino?

  Yeah?

• 7:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 7:29Andrew Santino?

  You should have been a civil engineer.

• 7:31Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 7:31Andrew Santino?

  I watched Pluribus again last night, and that is literally what we're kind of what we're talking about.

• 7:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 7:36Andrew Santino?

  Did you finish it?

• 7:36Bobby Lee?

  Mm-hmm.

• 7:37Andrew Santino?

  Gosh, it's pretty good. I got one left, I think.

• 7:39Bobby Lee?

  It's a really good show.

• 7:40Andrew Santino?

  But we gotta watch it in chunks because it's anxiety inducing, so I can't get through the whole thing at once.

• 7:44Bobby Lee?

  You have no anxiety?

• 7:45Andrew Santino?

  Huh?

• 7:46Bobby Lee?

  You have no anxiety?

• 7:47Andrew Santino?

  I have all of it.

• 7:47Bobby Lee?

  About the world?

• 7:48Andrew Santino?

  Oh, oh, about the world?

• 7:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 7:50Andrew Santino?

  No, I'm comfortable, dude. I'm comfortably numb.

• 7:53Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you're numb?

• 7:53Andrew Santino?

  Like the song.

• 7:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 7:55Andrew Santino?

  I have become comfortably numb.

• 8:01Bobby Lee?

  Good song. It's a good song.

• 8:02Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, you nailed it.

• 8:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:04Andrew Santino?

  Uh, the doomsday clock, January 27, 2026, as of this year, was set at 85 seconds to midnight. Closest the clock has ever been to midnight in its history.

• 8:12Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 8:12Andrew Santino?

  Well, speed it up. Push the seconds over. Let's have fun.

• 8:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, there's a lot of anxiety I feel in the world. I think maybe I'm just like, you know, I mean, a sensitive guy and I just can feel things. But like, you know, when you walk into a coffee shop and you look at somebody, right? What's wrong?

• 8:27Andrew Santino?

  I'm a sensitive guy. I can feel things. You're an empath? Is that what you're thinking?

• 8:31Bobby Lee?

  Well, I'm dating a witch.

• 8:33Andrew Santino?

  You are dating a witch?

• 8:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so it rubs off on me.

• 8:35Andrew Santino?

  I know, my eye, I can't see out of my right eye. What are you guys doing?

• 8:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. She told me the other night that she can see into the future and stuff like that.

• 8:45Andrew Santino?

  What does she see?

• 8:47Bobby Lee?

  She goes, she stopped doing it because it's like too much, she gets tired.

• 8:52Andrew Santino?

  That's a reason to stop.

• 8:53Bobby Lee?

  I mean, she got taught it, you know what I mean? Also, not just look into the future, like, like, look into people's, and communicate with, like, spirits and stuff, right? And she's like, it's...

• 9:04Andrew Santino?

  I could run a three-minute mile, but I just don't want to do it.

• 9:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 9:07Andrew Santino?

  I just don't feel like doing it, but I can.

• 9:10Bobby Lee?

  That's pretty much it.

• 9:10Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's ridiculous.

• 9:11Bobby Lee?

  That's not ridiculous, you can do it, but you just won't.

• 9:13Andrew Santino?

  No, you literally can't.

• 9:14Bobby Lee?

  You can, though.

• 9:15Andrew Santino?

  Physical limitations.

• 9:16Bobby Lee?

  Can you?

• 9:16Andrew Santino?

  A three-minute mile? No.

• 9:18Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 9:18Andrew Santino?

  No, nobody can.

• 9:19Bobby Lee?

  Okay. No one can do a three-minute mile?

• 9:23Andrew Santino?

  Not you or me.

• 9:24Bobby Lee?

  I know, but there are people out in the world that can.

• 9:27Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, maybe like Mafungo Bungo.

• 9:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, Mafungo Bungo, he can.

• 9:31Andrew Santino?

  He can do it?

• 9:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Well, the girl that I'm dating is the Mafungo Mafungo of witches.

• 9:34Andrew Santino?

  No human has ever run a three-minute mile.

• 9:36Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 9:37Andrew Santino?

  Wait a minute, she said she could look into the future. I need to hear the rest.

• 9:39Bobby Lee?

  Not the future, it's more like, um, she can, um, see things, communicate with spirits, and see things in the past, and, um...

• 9:49Speaker 04

  That's the opposite.

• 9:53Andrew Santino?

  She's going the wrong way.

• 9:54Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 9:55Andrew Santino?

  She's, she's in, wait, dude, she's in that other universe, communicating, and she's going backwards? And they're like, the information's up here. She took the wrong...

• 10:04Bobby Lee?

  I don't know why you guys are laughing at this, you know what I mean, religion. It's absolutely mind-boggling.

• 10:12Andrew Santino?

  Dude, fuck you.

• 10:15Bobby Lee?

  It's absolutely mind-boggling to me

• 10:17Andrew Santino?

  Shut up.

• 10:17Bobby Lee?

  That you would take one's religion and mock it.

• 10:21Andrew Santino?

  Witches and magic practitioners often use divination, such as tarot, runes, or scrying.

• 10:28Bobby Lee?

  She's crying all the time, doc.

• 10:29Andrew Santino?

  She's crying?

• 10:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. One time her dog, she started crying.

• 10:35Andrew Santino?

  Do I believe-

• 10:36Bobby Lee?

  They, they cry different. They scry.

• 10:38Andrew Santino?

  Oh, they scry?

• 10:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, they don't, yeah, it's even more painful. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so-

• 10:43Andrew Santino?

  They float when they cry. They scry.

• 10:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so, you know, to, we live in a country where we have freedom of religion.

• 10:49Andrew Santino?

  That's right, baby, best country in the world!

• 10:51Bobby Lee?

  And for you to mock one's religion is, to me, absurd and offending.

• 10:55Andrew Santino?

  Time out.

• 10:56Bobby Lee?

  It offen, it offends me.

• 10:57Andrew Santino?

  You're allowed to have the freedom to religion, to any religion.

• 11:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 11:02Andrew Santino?

  I have the freedom of speech to mock your religion.

• 11:05Speaker 04

  But which religion is this? Yeah.

• 11:06Andrew Santino?

  Witchery, witchcraft. Witchcraft is a religion.

• 11:09Bobby Lee?

  It is a religion.

• 11:10Andrew Santino?

  But I have the freedom of-

• 11:11Bobby Lee?

  Buddhism is a religion, is it not?

• 11:13Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it is, but we can mock it. That's the whole point of freedom of speech.

• 11:16Speaker 04

  Wicca, like how-

• 11:17Andrew Santino?

  Wiccans.

• 11:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Wiccans, yeah.

• 11:18Speaker 04

  Chesky grew up.

• 11:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but, you know-

• 11:21Andrew Santino?

  What you're saying is contradictory in and of itself. If it's protected religion, then so is speech, so we can make fun of it. That's the point.

• 11:26Bobby Lee?

  But it's kind of my religion.

• 11:27Andrew Santino?

  It's not yours.

• 11:28Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 11:30Bobby Lee?

  I know it's not, but I want to defend, uh, the right-

• 11:33Andrew Santino?

  Defend your honor.

• 11:34Bobby Lee?

  That people have the right to have their own religion.

• 11:36Andrew Santino?

  And people have the right and I'll defend that.

• 11:37Bobby Lee?

  And you're laughing, you guys are laughing as if like, it's not real.

• 11:40Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no.

• 11:40Bobby Lee?

  It could be.

• 11:40Andrew Santino?

  No, no, we're laughing at it.

• 11:42Bobby Lee?

  It could be.

• 11:42Andrew Santino?

  We're laughing because it's real.

• 11:44Speaker 04

  That's the god she believes.

• 11:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, that's the goat god.

• 11:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. And tell me-

• 11:49Andrew Santino?

  I've seen that guy on La Brea before.

• 11:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Now, tell me, Carlos, you, you were at the drawing room at 1:30 in the morning and you saw that?

• 11:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, in Los Feliz, at the drawing room, at 1:30, right, McCon? Yeah, yeah, at the end of the fucking bar. You've seen her, or whatever that is.

• 12:05Speaker 05

  Hey, gonna get a drink? He buy me a drink.

• 12:08Andrew Santino?

  Somebody buy that girl a drink.

• 12:10Speaker 05

  I walked here from Echo Park.

• 12:12Bobby Lee?

  Right, you've seen.

• 12:14Andrew Santino?

  The horned goat lives in Echo Park.

• 12:17Speaker 05

  I, I got a great one bed, one bath.

• 12:20Andrew Santino?

  What else does she tell you about the future? Does she tell us what's coming? Has she given you any insight?

• 12:24Bobby Lee?

  Well, you remember I told you that I found your name in my freezer, right?

• 12:27Andrew Santino?

  She was putting it in there.

• 12:28Bobby Lee?

  No, that's not, did I tell you that?

• 12:30Andrew Santino?

  You told me she made you put it in there to cool me off.

• 12:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, to cool you off, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It didn't work.

• 12:36Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 12:37Bobby Lee?

  You're hot.

• 12:38Andrew Santino?

  The freezer spell involving your name is typically used in witchcraft to blind, stop, or banish a person from causing trouble off of you.

• 12:44Bobby Lee?

  Exactly, that's what I was doing.

• 12:44Andrew Santino?

  Freezing their negative actions or cold sh-

• 12:46Bobby Lee?

  I was banishing you, dude.

• 12:47Andrew Santino?

  Didn't work.

• 12:48Bobby Lee?

  I know it didn't work.

• 12:48Andrew Santino?

  I'm unbanishable.

• 12:49Bobby Lee?

  You're on, yeah, I know, I realize that. I realize that you're unbanishable. Also, I realize that, you know what I mean, you can't be blinded.

• 12:55Andrew Santino?

  You can't bind me.

• 12:58Bobby Lee?

  Like in Lord of the Rings, that ring? No, nothing on you.

• 13:00Andrew Santino?

  No, behind you.

• 13:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what race you are in that world, dude, but you cannot be bound to that ring.

• 13:05Andrew Santino?

  Unbound.

• 13:05Bobby Lee?

  You're unbound. Yeah, so that didn't work. You can be stopped.

• 13:09Andrew Santino?

  You could, yeah.

• 13:09Bobby Lee?

  It can be stopped, you know what I mean? But it would take like, you know what I mean, a Russian army, I think, to stop you, so.

• 13:14Andrew Santino?

  Don't tempt those guys, because they'll do it.

• 13:15Bobby Lee?

  So, witchcraft to bind, stop, or banish.

• 13:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, banish.

• 13:19Bobby Lee?

  The two, three of those, you can't do to Anderson Tino. You know, I tried to freeze your negativity, and it didn't work. Also, it was in there for like, months. It was between, um, you know, like butcher box, butcher box meat and a frozen pizza.

• 13:33Andrew Santino?

  Didn't work.

• 13:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I put it between like, you know what I mean? And then like, one day, we're like, well, eat a pork chop, and we lifted it, right? And there was like, Anderson Tino fucking pizza.

• 13:41Andrew Santino?

  It's just my face.

• 13:42Bobby Lee?

  No, just your name.

• 13:43Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 13:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and I ripped it up. I go.

• 13:45Andrew Santino?

  Oh, you ripped it up?

• 13:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I get, well, he's not banished.

• 13:48Andrew Santino?

  Well, that's why I was having back pain that day.

• 13:51Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you got black back? Maybe that, but, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:54Andrew Santino?

  Ow, ow. Ow, ow, ow, ow.

• 13:57Bobby Lee?

  Bind this motherfucker.

• 13:58Andrew Santino?

  Oh, unbound.

• 13:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but, uh, you know who is a huge soccer fan? I just had no idea, is Gillis.

• 14:05Andrew Santino?

  Oh, is he?

• 14:06Bobby Lee?

  Uh huh.

• 14:06Andrew Santino?

  Love soccer.

• 14:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we were in the van, uh, we had lunch, and, um, you know, I was watching the, um, Arsenal Champions League game on my phone. He's like, what are you watching? And I go Arsenal playing, you know, and he goes, fuck Arsenal. I go, fuck you. Of course I'm saying that, because I defend myself.

• 14:24Andrew Santino?

  That's your Arsenal team.

• 14:26Bobby Lee?

  That's my argument.

• 14:27Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 14:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you know me.

• 14:28Andrew Santino?

  Who does he follow?

• 14:29Bobby Lee?

  Can I just finish our conversation? I go, what'd you say to me, man? He said, you said that this Reuben was the best thing on the menu, it wasn't. Because he was like, you gotta try the Reuben, it was okay. Anyway, he's a Man Utd fan. He's a Manchester United fan.

• 14:44Andrew Santino?

  Thank you.

• 14:44Bobby Lee?

  And then I asked him like, specific questions, he knew. Everything. I was, I was mind boggled.

• 14:50Andrew Santino?

  He's a big sports fan.

• 14:51Bobby Lee?

  No, but he was like, I've been following them since I was a kid, or whatever. I even, historically, I was asking him questions. And Gillis is a Man Utd fan, so is, give me, give me another comic that's a Man Utd fan, you know?

• 15:01Andrew Santino?

  Uh, I feel like we do know someone that's a Man Utd fan. They have the, they have.

• 15:04Bobby Lee?

  He's black.

• 15:04Andrew Santino?

  Tatted on them.

• 15:05Bobby Lee?

  He's black.

• 15:05Andrew Santino?

  Oh, Ian Edwards.

• 15:06Bobby Lee?

  Yep.

• 15:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 15:07Bobby Lee?

  Exactly.

• 15:07Andrew Santino?

  He has a tattoo. Doesn't he have a tattoo?

• 15:09Bobby Lee?

  Uh, yeah.

• 15:10Andrew Santino?

  Couldn't see it anyway.

• 15:12Andrew Santino?

  I know, I could.

• 15:13Bobby Lee?

  It was about to come up, dude, you're so fast today.

• 15:15Andrew Santino?

  There's only one.

• 15:16Bobby Lee?

  I'm so tired, you can't be quick today.

• 15:19Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 15:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's just, you know? Yeah, it's too, you know what I mean? You talk so fast, sometimes I'm not there.

• 15:26Speaker 04

  He's using the laser gun.

• 15:30Bobby Lee?

  It's like those Greenland sharks. You know about those, fuckers? Have we talked about that?

• 15:35Andrew Santino?

  Greenland sharks?

• 15:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, they, they live to over 400 years old, some of them 500 years old.

• 15:41Andrew Santino?

  Really? The Greenland shark, the, uh, longest-lived vertebrae on Earth, studies estimate it lived 400 fucking years. They're found in the cold deepest part of the Arctic and North Atlantic. These sharks, is my ex up there? These sharks grow at a glacial pace for only one centimeter per year, reaching maturity around 150 years old. So they grow up at 150, that's when they're like an adult.

• 16:02Bobby Lee?

  What happened historically 400 years ago? Just Google that.

• 16:05Andrew Santino?

  What do you mean, like what happened right from today?

• 16:06Bobby Lee?

  From today, 400 years ago, a Greenland shark.

• 16:09Andrew Santino?

  Was born.

• 16:10Bobby Lee?

  Born.

• 16:10Andrew Santino?

  Do you Google?

• 16:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, Google that, I wanna see that.

• 16:12Andrew Santino?

  What happened today, 400 years ago?

• 16:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, what happened today, 400 years ago? Or this month?

• 16:16Andrew Santino?

  No, just say today. 14, uh, 400, McConaughey, get hit by a bus. August, what is this? Around 400 years ago, the first recorded Africans arrived in the English colony of Virginia at Point Comfort. You're up row.

• 16:31Andrew Santino?

  A marking a pivotal tragic start to slavery in North America, roughly 20 enslaved people were traded for supplies.

• 16:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 16:37Andrew Santino?

  Uh, okay, okay Greenland shark. Not a good time. Not a good birth time.

• 16:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, time, I mean, people are on the, you know what I mean, on the Amistad. And a little baby is born.

• 16:48Andrew Santino?

  Wow, not good.

• 16:49Bobby Lee?

  It's not good.

• 16:49Andrew Santino?

  Not good.

• 16:50Bobby Lee?

  But I'm just saying though, that they've been around, I mean, imagine, there is something alive today that witnessed, not witnessed, he wasn't on land going, oh my god, this is an atrocity.

• 17:02Bobby Lee?

  He wasn't like, I gotta check this out, you know, as a baby, you know, but he was still a lot deep in the ocean, born when this shit was going on.

• 17:11Andrew Santino?

  What are you guys doing?

• 17:12Bobby Lee?

  What are you guys doing, man?

• 17:13Andrew Santino?

  Are you guys trading and buying humans? I'm gonna go back to the depths of the ocean. That's crazy. Imagine interviewing one right now on his deathbed and he's like, "Do you guys still buy humans?" You're like, "Well..."

• 17:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 17:24Andrew Santino?

  That's what they look like?

• 17:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's what they look like. They look 400 years.

• 17:28Andrew Santino?

  They look 400 years.

• 17:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 17:29Andrew Santino?

  400 years.

• 17:30Bobby Lee?

  That's crazy.

• 17:31Andrew Santino?

  Beautiful, though.

• 17:32Bobby Lee?

  It's beautiful.

• 17:32Andrew Santino?

  What's the longest species that... What's the longest age length of a species on Earth? What species is the longest?

• 17:37Bobby Lee?

  That. Yeah, that's it.

• 17:39Andrew Santino?

  Vertebrae, yeah.

• 17:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, vertebrae.

• 17:40Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, longest.

• 17:42Bobby Lee?

  I'm sure there are plants or trees that are longer, do you think?

• 17:45Andrew Santino?

  Trees live, yeah. The longest-lived individual invertebrate is the ocean quahog. A clam that can live over 500 years.

• 17:52Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 17:54Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 17:54Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 17:55Andrew Santino?

  Oh, or the immortal jellyfish. They put it right there in the name.

• 17:58Bobby Lee?

  So clam, what happened 500 years ago? Google that.

• 18:02Andrew Santino?

  500 years ago.

• 18:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a clam.

• 18:05Andrew Santino?

  What did he... What did we see?

• 18:06Bobby Lee?

  I'm a clam. We're clams, we're clams.

• 18:08Andrew Santino?

  What did we see?

• 18:08Bobby Lee?

  What did we see? What did we see?

• 18:10Andrew Santino?

  So tell us what the world was like.

• 18:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 18:12Andrew Santino?

  Well, it was shaped by the height of the Protestant Reformation, the expansion of the Spanish Empire. Boo.

• 18:17Bobby Lee?

  Boo.

• 18:17Andrew Santino?

  And the flowering of the Italian Renaissance. Yay!

• 18:20Bobby Lee?

  This painting is beautiful.

• 18:22Andrew Santino?

  Gorgeous.

• 18:24Bobby Lee?

  A clam today was just like, "Wow, look at the artistry."

• 18:27Andrew Santino?

  Well, look at that. Magellan. So a clam saw magellan.

• 18:30Bobby Lee?

  Whoa, on the beach saw magellan.

• 18:32Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 18:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 18:33Andrew Santino?

  What is he doing?

• 18:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or me, I'm more of a Columbus guy.

• 18:40Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 18:41Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 18:41Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean?

• 18:41Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 18:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you're happy about magellan?

• 18:44Andrew Santino?

  I like Columbus. That was their soccer teams back then.

• 18:47Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:48Andrew Santino?

  Are you a diehard Columbus fan or a magellan guy? The Inca civilization at its peak in South America, stretching from modern-day Colombia to Chile, just before the Spanish conquest in 1533. Another bad thing you've done. So basically, what we're finding out through the history of invertebrates and vertebrates is you guys are up to no good.

• 19:03Bobby Lee?

  Pieces of shit.

• 19:04Andrew Santino?

  Pieces of shit.

• 19:04Bobby Lee?

  Well, in the Philippines, you guys, oh my God.

• 19:07Andrew Santino?

  Oh my God, what did you do?

• 19:08Bobby Lee?

  What'd you do?

• 19:09Speaker 04

  Lapalapu.

• 19:10Bobby Lee?

  Lapalapu. You lapalapu'd it.

• 19:11Andrew Santino?

  Okay, so Google, zoom in real fast.

• 19:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, what is this?

• 19:13Andrew Santino?

  Immortal jellyfish, a glass sponge lives up to 15,000 years.

• 19:18Bobby Lee?

  Whoa, 15,000 years?

• 19:21Andrew Santino?

  What happened 15,000 years ago?

• 19:24Bobby Lee?

  I'm a gla... We're glass sponges.

• 19:29Bobby Lee?

  We're glass sponges.

• 19:30Andrew Santino?

  All right, around 15,000 years.

• 19:31Bobby Lee?

  Be a glass, yeah, be a glass sponge, dude.

• 19:33Andrew Santino?

  The world was transitioning out of the last ice age.

• 19:35Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god, yeah, yeah.

• 19:36Andrew Santino?

  Warming climate, producing glaciers.

• 19:37Bobby Lee?

  Man, is it getting warmer?

• 19:40Andrew Santino?

  I can feel my toes!

• 19:40Bobby Lee?

  I can feel my toes finally, dude! Whoa, dude!

• 19:43Andrew Santino?

  Humans begin transitioning from purely nomadic foraging to living in semi-permanent settlements.

• 19:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, wha- oh, the R?

• 19:50Andrew Santino?

  And the suburbs were born. No, I'm kidding. The use of clay for artistic expression began beads, pendants, rather than utility. Children and adults were shaping clay reflecting a forgotten chapter in social development.

• 19:59Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 20:00Andrew Santino?

  It is cool to be the first person-

• 20:01Bobby Lee?

  What do you call that? Hammer. We witnessed.

• 20:05Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we saw a hammer.

• 20:05Bobby Lee?

  We saw a hammer, dude, getting invented. That's insane.

• 20:08Andrew Santino?

  Hammer in the morning.

• 20:08Bobby Lee?

  Isn't that insane? There are glass jelly, what are they called?

• 20:11Andrew Santino?

  Glass sponge. Glass sponge.

• 20:12Bobby Lee?

  Glass sponges that were around when a fucking hammer was invented. Yeah.

• 20:19Andrew Santino?

  The same guy.

• 20:20Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean?

• 20:21Andrew Santino?

  Glass sponge, same guy today.

• 20:22Bobby Lee?

  Same guy today. Same dude. Yeah, yeah.

• 20:26Andrew Santino?

  Same guy.

• 20:27Bobby Lee?

  Same dude is still around.

• 20:30Andrew Santino?

  Crazy.

• 20:30Bobby Lee?

  Is it boring?

• 20:32Andrew Santino?

  I bet he's having a good time.

• 20:33Bobby Lee?

  No, all he's doing is this.

• 20:35Andrew Santino?

  Depends on who's visiting him.

• 20:36Bobby Lee?

  Have you done this? How long can you do this?

• 20:39Andrew Santino?

  15,000 years?

• 20:41Bobby Lee?

  That's insane. But there's no thought, there's no-

• 20:44Andrew Santino?

  This is the funniest thing. You literally Googled glass sponges' daily life, as if they have like a ni- you know, a 9 to 5. Y'all brought it to life, hey.

• 20:50Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me daily life of-

• 20:52Andrew Santino?

  Bobby, Bobby, he's got the glass sponges of Get Ready With Me TikTok.

• 20:58Andrew Santino?

  Get ready for me to float in the ocean again.

• 21:00Speaker 04

  I have the answer.

• 21:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 21:02Andrew Santino?

  Sitting in one place, using their silica glass, uh, specules, oh, whoops, sorry, to filter vast amounts of water for bacteria and plankton. So they're filtering, they're living fossils, they can live forever and ever and ever.

• 21:12Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 21:12Andrew Santino?

  Show me the video of the glass sponge, I'd love to take a look.

• 21:14Bobby Lee?

  Love to see him.

• 21:15Andrew Santino?

  You know, this is the thing about this show, is it a poop fart show? Yeah, but do you learn? You sure do.

• 21:18Bobby Lee?

  I sure do.

• 21:19Andrew Santino?

  You sure do.

• 21:20Bobby Lee?

  Acorns. Acorns is a smart way to give your money a chance to grow. Acorns is easy. You can sign up in minutes and start automatically investing your spare money, even if all you've got is spare change.

• 21:32Andrew Santino?

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• 21:49Bobby Lee?

  Acorns is all in one. No more finance apps cluttering up your phone. With Acorns, you can invest, save, and give your money a chance to grow in one trusted place.

• 21:57Andrew Santino?

  And the Acorns potential screen shows you the power of compounding and how your money could grow over time. Plus, you can quickly adjust how much you're investing every day, every week, or month to make sure you're building towards your goals. You should be doing this. Why not try it out with Acorns?

• 22:10Bobby Lee?

  Sign up now and Acorns will boost your new account with a $5 bonus investment. Join the over 14 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $27 billion with Acorns.

• 22:21Andrew Santino?

  Head to acorns.com/badfriends or download the Acorns app to get started. Paid non-client endorsement compensation provides incentive deposit to promote Acorns Tier 2 compensation provided. Potential subject to various factors such as customers' accounts, age, and investment settings. Does not include Acorns fees. Results do not predict or represent the performance of any Acorns portfolio. Investments, results will vary. Investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors LLC, an SEC-registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com/badfriends.

• 22:44Bobby Lee?

  Shopify. Hey, guys. If you have an online business like we do here at Bad Friends, then you've got to use Shopify. Get started with your own design studio with hundreds of ready-to-use templates. Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand's style.

• 22:59Andrew Santino?

  Here's the best part. You can accelerate your efficiency, whether you're just uploading new products or you're trying to improve existing ones like we do. We try to update through time with different shirts that we're selling to you guys or merch that you guys are looking to buy. Shopify is packed with helpful AI tools that write product descriptions, they page headlines, and they even enhance your product photography so we can take beautiful photos, show you guys what we're trying to give you as Bad Friends listeners.

• 23:21Bobby Lee?

  And some people ask, "Why haven't you heard about my brand?" Shopify helps you find customers with easy-to-run email and social media campaigns.

• 23:29Andrew Santino?

  Award-winning 24/7 customer support and also, we talk about it all the time.

• 23:33Bobby Lee?

  Purple button.

• 23:34Andrew Santino?

  Shop Pay button, baby. That button is used by millions of businesses around the world. It's why Shopify has the best converting checkout on the planet. It helps you boost conversions, meaning less carts are gonna go abandoned and way more sales for you.

• 23:45Bobby Lee?

  It's time to turn those what ifs into cha-ching with Shopify today.

• 23:49Andrew Santino?

  Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at Shopify.com/badfriends. That is Shopify.com/badfriends. Shopify.com/badfriends.

• 23:58Speaker 06

  Maybe this thing.

• 24:00Andrew Santino?

  Okay. Okay.

• 24:02Speaker 06

  Which is Philomporifera. Well, most sponges are classified in the class.

• 24:05Andrew Santino?

  Is this fancy? Did he do this?

• 24:08Speaker 06

  My previous job. Glass sponges are classified in the class Hexactinella.

• 24:12Andrew Santino?

  They're actually beautiful.

• 24:13Bobby Lee?

  Dude.

• 24:14Andrew Santino?

  Is he a deer?

• 24:15Bobby Lee?

  They're Asian and white. They're the only two colors back then.

• 24:19Andrew Santino?

  That's us.

• 24:19Bobby Lee?

  We started it all.

• 24:20Andrew Santino?

  We're sponges.

• 24:21Bobby Lee?

  Dude, we started it all Asians and whites.

• 24:23Andrew Santino?

  And you know why they're so pretty?

• 24:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 24:24Andrew Santino?

  You know why, Bob?

• 24:25Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 24:25Andrew Santino?

  Cause they're untouched.

• 24:26Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 24:27Andrew Santino?

  Cause no one's fucking with them. That's why they're pretty.

• 24:29Bobby Lee?

  I wanna kill one.

• 24:31Andrew Santino?

  Strange life. Survival in the dark depths.

• 24:33Bobby Lee?

  Oh, look at that.

• 24:34Andrew Santino?

  They beautiful geometric shapes they get to form into. The silicon structures are so well-formed that they can transmit light similar to fiber optics. Amazing.

• 24:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but here's my argument against this.

• 24:45Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, let's find something negative.

• 24:46Bobby Lee?

  I'll say, well, because the difference between that and obviously the Greenland shark is there's no consciousness. It doesn't have a brain, per se.

• 24:55Andrew Santino?

  As far as you know.

• 24:56Bobby Lee?

  But it doesn't like, you know what I mean? It doesn't have thoughts like, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? Why did dad leave?

• 25:04Andrew Santino?

  Where did all my friends go?

• 25:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or, you know what I mean? Or, you know what I mean? God, gas prices are so high. I mean, they don't have thoughts.

• 25:10Andrew Santino?

  And he's like, well, they are doing, well, you saw what they're doing to Iran.

• 25:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, there's no, right?

• 25:14Andrew Santino?

  They're not on Twitter, I guess.

• 25:16Bobby Lee?

  Greenland shark, you know what I mean? I don't know what they're thinking about. Probably food first.

• 25:20Andrew Santino?

  Food for 400 years straight.

• 25:21Bobby Lee?

  The second Coachella tickets? No, I'm kidding. That's.

• 25:24Andrew Santino?

  Do you think they got backstage passes?

• 25:25Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 25:26Andrew Santino?

  The Greenland sharks got backstage passes in Coachella?

• 25:28Bobby Lee?

  You think so? It's like one Greenland shark watching Harry Styles.

• 25:34Bobby Lee?

  He's just popping shit. No, uh, so I mean Greenland shark has a brain and it's right?

• 25:39Andrew Santino?

  Hunting in the dark.

• 25:40Bobby Lee?

  They don't have brains Greenland sharks?

• 25:41Speaker 04

  All they do is hunt all day.

• 25:42Bobby Lee?

  And they have brains, right? So they have thoughts?

• 25:44Speaker 04

  They don't think much though.

• 25:45Bobby Lee?

  How do you know?

• 25:46Speaker 05

  It says.

• 25:47Andrew Santino?

  They're instinct, they're, they're living purely by instinct, focusing on slow motion, scavenging, opportunistic hunting in the dark. But that every day is a new day to hunt. So it must be fascinating to them because they're approaching new shit all the time. They don't stay in the same place. Do they stay in the same area? Right? Don't they?

• 26:01Bobby Lee?

  But also.

• 26:02Andrew Santino?

  Far and wide.

• 26:02Speaker 04

  Swimmers of their size. They have stealth mode.

• 26:05Bobby Lee?

  Stealth mode. But also this, right? It's like they have to know what to eat and what not to eat. So they don't, they eat everything?

• 26:12Speaker 05

  That's instinct. You don't have to know.

• 26:13Speaker 04

  Garbage disposal.

• 26:14Bobby Lee?

  It's just like, you know, a diet Pepsi can, aluminum can to eat. I mean.

• 26:17Speaker 05

  That's what instinct is. You don't have to know it.

• 26:19Andrew Santino?

  They literally say.

• 26:19Bobby Lee?

  So that's not a thought process?

• 26:21Andrew Santino?

  Listen.

• 26:21Bobby Lee?

  That's an instinct.

• 26:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 26:22Andrew Santino?

  Okay. Despite, despite being apex predators, they're primarily scavengers or garbage disposals with diets that include seals, polar bears, reindeer, anything. They'll eat anything. They'll eat fucking anything.

• 26:32Bobby Lee?

  Reindeer?

• 26:34Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Reindeer.

• 26:36Bobby Lee?

  Wait, wait, wait, wait. Where does it say reindeer?

• 26:38Andrew Santino?

  Right there. Right. I just.

• 26:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Go where?

• 26:41Andrew Santino?

  Reindeer.

• 26:43Bobby Lee?

  Reindeer?

• 26:45Speaker 04

  Santas after, you know, they dropped.

• 26:47Bobby Lee?

  Oh, he crashes into the ocean, right? And then Greenland sharks are like, yeah, again.

• 26:52Andrew Santino?

  Oh, oh, oh, very good. Every year he kills them.

• 26:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Every 300 years he does this, right? And he just eats one, huh?

• 27:00Andrew Santino?

  What the fuck is that? Omotokota?

• 27:02Speaker 04

  That lives on most Greenland sharks. They just don't care because.

• 27:06Bobby Lee?

  Oh, on their eyeballs, right? They, yeah, they, I saw a documentary where they live on the eyeball. So they can't even see.

• 27:12Andrew Santino?

  Omotokaida. Omotokaida.

• 27:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:17Andrew Santino?

  Omotokaida is a monotopic genus of corpobes, a sole species being. However, the specimen has been found on the skin of the great lantern shark, which has been assigned to the, to the genus, but not the species. But they live in the eyeball. That's amazing.

• 27:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:31Andrew Santino?

  That's how much a Greenland shark does.

• 27:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Both eyes. So the Greenland shark can't see. You mean, cause they got little dudes on their eyes.

• 27:37Andrew Santino?

  Just clean it out.

• 27:38Bobby Lee?

  Well, they have no arms. That's the problem.

• 27:40Andrew Santino?

  They don't have arms?

• 27:41Bobby Lee?

  Oh, dude, no.

• 27:42Andrew Santino?

  What's going on down there?

• 27:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. They can't wave or anything.

• 27:45Andrew Santino?

  Well, what if one shark?

• 27:46Bobby Lee?

  They can't even wave to their friends like, what's up dude? I haven't seen you in 300 years.

• 27:52Bobby Lee?

  Hey dude, I haven't seen you in 350 years. Where have you been, dude? "Oh, I was over there," he says.

• 27:58Andrew Santino?

  There, they can blow bubbles. What if they blew bubbles right on the parasites and got it out of there?

• 28:03Bobby Lee?

  No, they can't do it. I mean, I would rub it against like a rock or something. Can you do that?

• 28:07Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 28:08Bobby Lee?

  Generally rub it against a rock, but I guess they don't even know how to do that.

• 28:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, they're dumb. They run on instinct.

• 28:13Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they just don't know.

• 28:14Bobby Lee?

  They have a brain, though.

• 28:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, wouldn't the brain tell them to rub their eye?

• 28:17Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 28:18Bobby Lee?

  No, because it's like, you know, you don't, it's so dark down there, who gives a fuck?

• 28:22Speaker 04

  That's what Google says.

• 28:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so dark down there, you could have whatever on your eyes.

• 28:27Andrew Santino?

  It doesn't matter.

• 28:28Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? You could put peanut butter on your eye, it doesn't even matter.

• 28:32Bobby Lee?

  You know?

• 28:32Andrew Santino?

  They do have peanut butter down there.

• 28:33Bobby Lee?

  I know they do.

• 28:34Andrew Santino?

  A lot.

• 28:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but you can do whatever with your eyes. You know what I mean? They can be Asian down there. They don't...

• 28:40Andrew Santino?

  Well, they are, kind of.

• 28:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. That's not even...

• 28:42Andrew Santino?

  Asian Greenland shark?

• 28:43Bobby Lee?

  Cut that out.

• 28:44Andrew Santino?

  No, leave it in.

• 28:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. An Asian Greenland shark? Wow.

• 28:48Andrew Santino?

  They live forever.

• 28:48Bobby Lee?

  They live forever. Who, okay, let me ask you-

• 28:51Andrew Santino?

  Oh, look at that, he's eating udon, right there.

• 28:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, let me ask you, what's the a- don't Google it yet. What's the apex predator in the ocean?

• 29:00Andrew Santino?

  Probably...

• 29:01Bobby Lee?

  The one that no one fucks with.

• 29:03Andrew Santino?

  The killer whale.

• 29:04Bobby Lee?

  That's it, dude.

• 29:04Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 29:05Bobby Lee?

  You're brilliant, brilliant.

• 29:07Andrew Santino?

  Thank you.

• 29:07Bobby Lee?

  No one can bind you.

• 29:08Andrew Santino?

  The killer whale, isn't that the host?

• 29:09Bobby Lee?

  No one can bind him or banish him.

• 29:10Andrew Santino?

  Can't be bound.

• 29:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 29:12Andrew Santino?

  Can't be bound. Can't put me in a freezer.

• 29:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 29:13Andrew Santino?

  Can't put me in a freezer.

• 29:14Bobby Lee?

  But, yes, it's the orca.

• 29:16Andrew Santino?

  It's the orca, yeah, the killer whale.

• 29:17Bobby Lee?

  The killer whale, dude. Those guys are insane.

• 29:19Andrew Santino?

  But not as cool as a sperm whale, which gets up to the size of like, you know, three school buses or whatever.

• 29:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but an orca, have you seen an orca pop his head out and look at you?

• 29:28Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 29:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 29:29Andrew Santino?

  I've never had it look at me.

• 29:30Bobby Lee?

  Well, I mean, me either. I just saw it on YouTube, but I'm just saying they do it. They'll just pop up, right? With their one eye and look at you to see if some- it's something that they want to eat.

• 29:40Andrew Santino?

  Ooh, fuck.

• 29:40Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean? And then they go, nah, you know what I mean? And then they pop out down.

• 29:44Andrew Santino?

  Can you imagine being eaten by one of those things? Because sharks bite, but they don't always consume. These things eat you whole.

• 29:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, they're not saying hello there. They're going, can I eat- should I eat you?

• 29:54Andrew Santino?

  I'm gonna eat you.

• 29:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 29:55Andrew Santino?

  How many people get eaten by orcas every year?

• 29:57Bobby Lee?

  Not a lot. Let's guess, let's guess, let's guess before.

• 30:00Andrew Santino?

  Seven.

• 30:01Bobby Lee?

  You think so?

• 30:02Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 30:02Bobby Lee?

  I'm gonna go 16.

• 30:03Andrew Santino?

  Ooh, okay, all right. Orcas kill zero people a year in the wild.

• 30:09Andrew Santino?

  No documented cases?

• 30:11Bobby Lee?

  Wow, they don't like us. We don't taste good.

• 30:13Andrew Santino?

  Wait a minute, for sure, I feel like we've heard a story where someone's been eaten by. While orcas are powerful apex predators, they do not view humans as prey.

• 30:20Bobby Lee?

  We only taste good to Jeffrey Dahmer. That's the only apex predator that we taste good.

• 30:25Andrew Santino?

  Sitting in the ocean for a long time.

• 30:28Andrew Santino?

  Waiting for you to take a swim.

• 30:32Andrew Santino?

  There have been no confirmed records of wild orcas killing a human. Not even researchers that are in the wrong place, wrong time. How many people are killed by polar bears every year? Let's guess.

• 30:43Bobby Lee?

  One.

• 30:43Andrew Santino?

  It's gotta be more than that, because researchers get killed on act- I'm saying five. Between 1870 and 2014, there were 73 confirmed polar bear attacks resulting in 20 human deaths.

• 30:52Bobby Lee?

  In all that time?

• 30:54Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's not a lot.

• 30:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's not a lot.

• 30:55Andrew Santino?

  It's not a lot? It's not a lot, so it's probably less than one, percent wise.

• 30:59Speaker 04

  How about dogs?

• 31:00Andrew Santino?

  How many people die by dogs every year?

• 31:02Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god.

• 31:02Andrew Santino?

  That one's gotta be high.

• 31:03Bobby Lee?

  High. Guess, guess, guess.

• 31:07Andrew Santino?

  Hmm, like 100?

• 31:09Bobby Lee?

  No, I'll say 1,200.

• 31:10Andrew Santino?

  Holy shit, that's a lot.

• 31:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 31:13Andrew Santino?

  30 to 50, I was right.

• 31:14Speaker 04

  It's just in the US.

• 31:15Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's just US. In the world, we said.

• 31:17Andrew Santino?

  25,000 to 30,000 human deaths annually worldwide.

• 31:21Bobby Lee?

  I was closer.

• 31:22Andrew Santino?

  You were way off. We were way off.

• 31:23Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 31:24Andrew Santino?

  The majority of these fatalities are caused by trans-

• 31:26Bobby Lee?

  Well, does that include-

• 31:27Andrew Santino?

  Oh, rabies virus, people that get-

• 31:28Bobby Lee?

  Ah, no, I'm not like, you know, we're talking about like mauling.

• 31:32Andrew Santino?

  Mauled to death is way less.

• 31:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:34Andrew Santino?

  Way less. India accounts for a significant portion of these deaths where high populations of stray dogs contribute to the risk. Right, those videos you see, there's just dogs, literally, there's like every human, there's another dog next to them.

• 31:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Dingoes, uh, probably kill people too.

• 31:48Andrew Santino?

  They don't, it's a lie.

• 31:49Bobby Lee?

  Dingoes don't?

• 31:50Andrew Santino?

  No, that was like an old weird, you know, the dingo ate your babies, a falsity.

• 31:53Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 31:53Andrew Santino?

  The dingoes are just like small dogs.

• 31:55Bobby Lee?

  Oh, they are?

• 31:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, they're little tiny. You didn't see one over there?

• 31:59Bobby Lee?

  That's our dingo.

• 31:59Andrew Santino?

  God, I love dingoes. I love me a dingo, my- You're going back to Australia, are you excited? You're gonna go see our boys, Brad and Shrimp.

• 32:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I can't wait.

• 32:10Andrew Santino?

  It's gonna be fun down there.

• 32:13Bobby Lee?

  Okay, well, that's all a lot of our, um.

• 32:16Andrew Santino?

  Animal talk?

• 32:17Bobby Lee?

  Well, no, I mean, because I've been, because instead of the war, I've been trying to like get my algorithm to change to a more animal.

• 32:24Andrew Santino?

  I've only been watching war.

• 32:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I'm trying to do more animal, you know, around the world. So it's like, you know, trying to change my algorithm on my TikTok because it depresses me.

• 32:33Andrew Santino?

  Well, open up your TikTok right now. What's the first video that you have up there?

• 32:37Bobby Lee?

  I don't want to.

• 32:39Andrew Santino?

  All right, what's your? I want to see what my algorithm is. Sean Penn and Zach Galifianakis.

• 32:43Speaker 07

  Rent free in my mind. I'm gonna be 37 this year and I like to think about when my parents were 37.

• 32:51Bobby Lee?

  Like stuff like that.

• 32:52Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, sic a Greenland shark on her.

• 32:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 32:55Andrew Santino?

  Let me just, yeah, I'll open up and let me hear what this says then.

• 32:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, just here.

• 32:57Andrew Santino?

  Here, ready?

• 32:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 32:59Andrew Santino?

  Just here, no see?

• 33:03Andrew Santino?

  Oh, it's a guy jumping off of a cliff doing, and skydiving.

• 33:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:09Andrew Santino?

  We're in LA trying supposedly the basshawarma in the city.

• 33:14Andrew Santino?

  Kill yourself. Everything is.

• 33:15Bobby Lee?

  Kill yourself.

• 33:15Andrew Santino?

  Jesus Christ.

• 33:16Bobby Lee?

  Whenever you hear those like TikToks, I go. And I never, I disagree. Every time I disagree, I've never went, yeah, that guy was right. This is the best burrito. No, it's never happened.

• 33:26Andrew Santino?

  Well, that's like, I saw one today that was, uh, uh, boiled hamburgers from 1903 and like they live, you know, it was like doing an advertisement for this place. And Pete's, that's it, boiled hamburgers in, in Wisconsin. And look at the video of them boiling a hamburger. This guy can't even explain, that's not it. I wish that was the video. The guy can't even explain, they were like, what do they taste like? And he's like, well, good. He couldn't even tell you.

• 33:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 33:52Andrew Santino?

  Boiled hamburgers.

• 33:53Bobby Lee?

  Oh my God, that sounds soggy.

• 33:55Andrew Santino?

  So soggy.

• 33:56Bobby Lee?

  Oh my God.

• 33:57Andrew Santino?

  There it is, right there.

• 33:57Bobby Lee?

  No, thank you.

• 33:58Andrew Santino?

  Do that one, seven, celebrating down, celebrating 115 years of boiled. Yeah, this is the guy.

• 34:03Bobby Lee?

  This guy right here?

• 34:03Andrew Santino?

  No, no, no, that's the news. He looks like a boiled hamburger.

• 34:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:08Andrew Santino?

  Look at that. They pour water on them the whole time.

• 34:12Bobby Lee?

  Oh, what you're saying is that they don't boil the bun.

• 34:15Andrew Santino?

  They boil the burger.

• 34:18Bobby Lee?

  I thought you said, I thought you thought, a hamburger, no, no, stop, push pause, okay?

• 34:22Andrew Santino?

  Boil the bun?

• 34:23Bobby Lee?

  You just lied!

• 34:25Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 34:25Bobby Lee?

  You lied!

• 34:26Andrew Santino?

  What are you talking about?

• 34:27Bobby Lee?

  A hamburger is with the bun as well.

• 34:31Bobby Lee?

  So you're saying they boil the patty?

• 34:34Speaker 04

  Yes, that's the part.

• 34:35Bobby Lee?

  Well, then just say patty!

• 34:36Speaker 04

  They also don't boil the, the cheese or the lettuce.

• 34:40Bobby Lee?

  That's what I thought, though. Well, then that's not a hamburger. What, what?

• 34:44Andrew Santino?

  Are you the dumbest guy alive?

• 34:46Bobby Lee?

  No, no, are you a liar?

• 34:47Andrew Santino?

  When I just said, it's called a boiled hamburger. That's what it's called.

• 34:52Bobby Lee?

  Okay, now I'm getting the context of it. So the meat, so I'm tired.

• 34:56Andrew Santino?

  Don't even.

• 34:56Bobby Lee?

  No, no, you don't.

• 34:57Andrew Santino?

  Don't try to like backtrack.

• 34:58Bobby Lee?

  I'm not backtracking out of it, dude. I need to defend my fucking life here, dude.

• 35:01Andrew Santino?

  Please?

• 35:01Bobby Lee?

  All right. It's just, in my mind, it's like they boil the hamburger. Now, in my mind, you envision a hamburger. Right? Which is, let me finish.

• 35:11Andrew Santino?

  You envision a hamburger fully cooked?

• 35:12Bobby Lee?

  Let me finish, let me finish.

• 35:14Andrew Santino?

  And then they boiled it?

• 35:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, so they, see, they put the fucking bread down.

• 35:17Andrew Santino?

  That's how you thought about it.

• 35:18Bobby Lee?

  Then the meat, right, then onions, cheese, relish, ketchup, right? More bread, right? And then they boil the whole thing.

• 35:25Andrew Santino?

  That's what you thought of boiling.

• 35:26Bobby Lee?

  In my mind, I'm like, it's so soggy.

• 35:28Andrew Santino?

  Oh my god, dude.

• 35:30Bobby Lee?

  So if they boil the meat, that doesn't sound that bad.

• 35:33Andrew Santino?

  It looks, look at it. That looks disgusting.

• 35:36Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 35:36Andrew Santino?

  Sloppy, it looks like a, it looks like.

• 35:38Speaker 04

  I mean, it's better than boiling the whole thing.

• 35:40Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, yeah. Shouldn't boil the whole thing. So good.

• 35:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 35:45Andrew Santino?

  Press play, watch him smash it in the water.

• 35:47Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 35:48Andrew Santino?

  I mean, it's, it's ludicrous.

• 35:51Bobby Lee?

  Was that, is that dumb of me, really?

• 35:52Andrew Santino?

  Yes.

• 35:53Bobby Lee?

  No, I don't think so.

• 35:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 35:55Speaker 04

  No, no.

• 35:56Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 35:57Andrew Santino?

  Look, look at that, look at that. Press play. Smashing it in the water. That looks disgusting.

• 36:03Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 36:04Andrew Santino?

  Oh, God, dude.

• 36:06Bobby Lee?

  Can you push pause for a second, please? Can I defend this? Can I still try to defend it?

• 36:11Andrew Santino?

  Sure, wiggle your way out of this one.

• 36:13Bobby Lee?

  Sometimes, because this is 115 years he's been doing it, right? Right? Did it not say that? Okay, so sometimes this. All right, just listen to my logic, please.

• 36:22Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 36:22Bobby Lee?

  Before you like mock me and laugh.

• 36:25Andrew Santino?

  I already laughed.

• 36:25Bobby Lee?

  All right, so because if you do, your name gets back into the freezer. All right, I will, I will try to banish you again, dude. Where's mine? Anyway.

• 36:35Andrew Santino?

  Expellius, Asianus.

• 36:37Bobby Lee?

  All right, so just can you just listen to my theory here? Sometimes you have to think about it in context. Okay?

• 36:43Speaker 04

  It's everything.

• 36:44Bobby Lee?

  It's everything, right? So it's like, you know, people go, um, you know, like music from the 60s, right? I put it in context, like this is the beginning of, you know what I mean? Stages of rock and roll, you know what I mean? And so when you're listening to it, you listen to it with that context, right? It's not as well-produced as like a Harry Styles album or, for instance, or whatever. Right? So it's like when you go to Felipe's downtown.

• 37:07Andrew Santino?

  Love.

• 37:08Bobby Lee?

  Great, right? Great, right? But you put in the context that this has been around for so long and they haven't really changed their menu that much. So you eat it with that context, like, oh, my God, this is like, you know what I mean? The same as it was in the 40s. And it's cool.

• 37:22Andrew Santino?

  A Greenland shark might have had this.

• 37:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 37:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or are those clams?

• 37:27Andrew Santino?

  The clams that have.

• 37:27Bobby Lee?

  Right, so what I'm saying, yeah. So what I'm saying is these boiled hamburgers is the same thing. It's like a nostalgia thing. It's a context thing.

• 37:35Andrew Santino?

  Oh, yeah.

• 37:35Bobby Lee?

  You will not.

• 37:35Speaker 04

  When they boiled bread back then.

• 37:43Bobby Lee?

  I just, you know. All right.

• 37:49Andrew Santino?

  He thought they made the cheeseburger and then they boiled it.

• 37:55Andrew Santino?

  It's insane.

• 37:57Bobby Lee?

  I know. I, I know now, all right, now, okay. Now that, all right, now that I think of it.

• 38:01Andrew Santino?

  By the way, I agreed with him when he goes, it's gotta be soggy. I go, yeah, I'm thinking, yeah, the meat's gotta be soggy. He's like, no, the whole thing is soggy.

• 38:11Andrew Santino?

  And you know what, bad friends at home? Somebody, please make a boiled hamburger and send us a video of you boiling an entire hamburger and send it to Carlos in the booth at gmail.com.

• 38:20Bobby Lee?

  Anyway, we, you know, went to Laurie's.

• 38:25Speaker 04

  Lowry's?

• 38:27Andrew Santino?

  You said it like a southern black man. Went down to Lowry's. You know me and Lowry's. I love Lowry's.

• 38:36Bobby Lee?

  Have you been to Lowry's?

• 38:38Andrew Santino?

  Lowry's?

• 38:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 38:39Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, Lowry's.

• 38:40Bobby Lee?

  Have you been there?

• 38:40Andrew Santino?

  Oh, I been.

• 38:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. So, do you know what Lowry's is? Right? Have you ever had the seasoned salt, Lowry's?

• 38:48Andrew Santino?

  Lowry's seasoning salt.

• 38:49Bobby Lee?

  You know that, right? So, the same year, check out this information.

• 38:54Andrew Santino?

  Lowry's.

• 38:54Bobby Lee?

  The same year that they developed the salt, you know, I mean, the guy that invented the salt opened a restaurant in LA called Lowry's on La Cienega.

• 39:04Andrew Santino?

  I can listen to you say it all day.

• 39:07Andrew Santino?

  He opened up Lowry's.

• 39:09Bobby Lee?

  Also, this is day seven of me not smoking cigarettes.

• 39:11Speaker 04

  Wow, you made it.

• 39:13Bobby Lee?

  So weak of no smoking.

• 39:16Andrew Santino?

  I'm so proud of you.

• 39:17Bobby Lee?

  So.

• 39:18Andrew Santino?

  But wait, you went to Lowry's?

• 39:19Bobby Lee?

  Right, and so, you know.

• 39:20Andrew Santino?

  Lowry's, like Kyle Lowry?

• 39:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, went to Lowry's, yeah.

• 39:24Andrew Santino?

  Who that, Kyle Lowry?

• 39:25Bobby Lee?

  Anyway, um, went to Lowry's and she's like, what, she goes, there's these, you know, the tin?

• 39:32Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 39:33Bobby Lee?

  Well, explain it then.

• 39:33Andrew Santino?

  I've been to Lowry's.

• 39:34Bobby Lee?

  What is it then?

• 39:35Andrew Santino?

  The tin.

• 39:36Bobby Lee?

  When I say tin, what do you mean?

• 39:37Andrew Santino?

  The tin.

• 39:38Bobby Lee?

  No, what does it mean?

• 39:40Andrew Santino?

  When they cart out the tin.

• 39:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yes!

• 39:41Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 39:42Bobby Lee?

  Yes, exactly.

• 39:43Andrew Santino?

  I've been there.

• 39:43Bobby Lee?

  So, you know what you're talking about?

• 39:44Andrew Santino?

  I've been there, I told you, told you four times. By the way, I've been there and then I never went back. I don't, I don't like it.

• 39:51Bobby Lee?

  I like it.

• 39:52Andrew Santino?

  You do?

• 39:53Bobby Lee?

  Dude, it's also 60% Asians that go there.

• 39:55Andrew Santino?

  Well, that's why I don't go.

• 39:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we love it.

• 39:58Andrew Santino?

  Yeah. Once, once a race takes over a place, I'm out.

• 40:01Bobby Lee?

  Okay, well, that's crazy.

• 40:03Andrew Santino?

  I want it diverse.

• 40:04Bobby Lee?

  Okay, so, anyway, we go to Lowry's.

• 40:06Andrew Santino?

  Like that, I backed right into it. Wiggled my way out.

• 40:09Bobby Lee?

  You wiggled your way out.

• 40:09Andrew Santino?

  Escape room, racial escape room. I don't like it when there's too many Asians, because I like it more diverse. All right, let them out.

• 40:16Bobby Lee?

  So, when you, right? Normally, when you go to any restaurant, right, you know, you order your prime rib.

• 40:26Andrew Santino?

  Sure.

• 40:26Bobby Lee?

  Right, and it just appears from the back of the kitchen. Right, somebody prepares it.

• 40:31Andrew Santino?

  Somebody boils it back.

• 40:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, boils it back there.

• 40:37Andrew Santino?

  So he boils up that prime rib. Go ahead.

• 40:39Bobby Lee?

  Well, okay, in terms of wet bread, this is a good, a good example. What about Yorkshire pudding? That's a wet bread.

• 40:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's not our thing.

• 40:47Bobby Lee?

  I know, I'm just saying, so in my mind, boiled hamburger, I mean, it doesn't sound that preposterous.

• 40:52Andrew Santino?

  I'm going home tonight and I'm boiling.

• 40:55Bobby Lee?

  Okay, let's let it go.

• 40:56Andrew Santino?

  All right, you're at Lowry's.

• 40:56Bobby Lee?

  So we're at Lowry's and, and she goes, um, and what happens is you order your prime rib and there's, there's different cuts that you can get.

• 41:04Andrew Santino?

  That's right.

• 41:04Bobby Lee?

  There's a California cut.

• 41:05Andrew Santino?

  Right.

• 41:06Bobby Lee?

  There's a regular cut. I get the, um, Tokyo cut.

• 41:09Andrew Santino?

  Of course.

• 41:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, cause it's, it's small. It's a small.

• 41:11Andrew Santino?

  Catering to their audience.

• 41:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so they, so you order a cod and all your sides and they bring a little tin cart.

• 41:17Andrew Santino?

  And they bind your feet.

• 41:19Bobby Lee?

  No, they don't. They don't bind. So they, they, they come with a tin cart, right? They open it up, right? And they slice it in front of you.

• 41:27Andrew Santino?

  Right in front of your face.

• 41:27Bobby Lee?

  Right. And they pour all the sides in front of you.

• 41:29Andrew Santino?

  Lot of juices.

• 41:30Bobby Lee?

  Lot of juices, right? They juice the fuck out of it, right? And you get Yorkshire pudding.

• 41:35Andrew Santino?

  You do.

• 41:35Bobby Lee?

  You're right, which is a wet bread.

• 41:37Andrew Santino?

  Wet bread.

• 41:38Bobby Lee?

  It's a wet bread.

• 41:38Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, it's boiled bread.

• 41:39Bobby Lee?

  It's boiled bread. And then, you know, and then she goes, why do we, they do it like this? I go, it's the nostalgia of it.

• 41:46Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 41:46Bobby Lee?

  They've been doing it like this since like, whatever, the 40s and stuff. And that's why, um, Asian people like it because it, it, it, there's some elegance to it. It's also reminiscent of the past.

• 41:56Andrew Santino?

  Mm hmm.

• 41:57Bobby Lee?

  It's, it kind of reminds you of the shining ballroom in the movie, The Shining. You know what I mean? That kind of a vibe. You know what I mean? Gigantic chandeliers, kind of gaudy a little bit.

• 42:06Andrew Santino?

  Opulent.

• 42:06Bobby Lee?

  But also dark and it's, it's really cool place. And the food's great.

• 42:10Andrew Santino?

  It's good.

• 42:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's, yeah. And it's like, but it's the, it's the, the ritual of it, right? So when you said boiled hamburgers.

• 42:18Andrew Santino?

  You thought about Lowry's.

• 42:19Bobby Lee?

  No, I'm just saying, to me, it's like, you know, you know, if they've been, if they've been doing it, whatever this region of this country for 115 years that way.

• 42:27Andrew Santino?

  It was Wisconsin.

• 42:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 42:31Andrew Santino?

  Can you imagine? This is the longest, uh, this is the longest.

• 42:33Bobby Lee?

  A rebuttal?

• 42:34Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, like a court case, the judge would be like, sir, sir, sir.

• 42:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 42:37Andrew Santino?

  It's, we're throwing the case out.

• 42:38Bobby Lee?

  I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

• 42:39Andrew Santino?

  No, it was very good though.

• 42:41Bobby Lee?

  I think that the reason why, have we talked about me quitting smoking yet or no, last time?

• 42:45Andrew Santino?

  Go ahead. Let's hear it.

• 42:46Bobby Lee?

  But why I quit?

• 42:48Andrew Santino?

  Cause it's gonna kill you.

• 42:49Bobby Lee?

  That's not why.

• 42:50Andrew Santino?

  Good.

• 42:50Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that is why.

• 42:51Andrew Santino?

  That is why.

• 42:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, that is why. Yeah, yeah, but.

• 42:54Speaker 04

  The black spit.

• 42:55Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, the spit.

• 42:56Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no. The reason why I quit smoking is because Remy died, my dog.

• 43:00Speaker 05

  Lung cancer.

• 43:01Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 43:09Andrew Santino?

  Going out to the coffee store? I'll be out here smoking and shit.

• 43:13Bobby Lee?

  Let's have a stick together before we go to the coffee store. No, that's not what happened. Yeah. You have fucking lung cancer.

• 43:18Andrew Santino?

  Your dog had stage four lung cancer.

• 43:19Bobby Lee?

  That'd be insane.

• 43:20Andrew Santino?

  How many packs is he smoking a day?

• 43:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, um. Hey, man.

• 43:25Andrew Santino?

  Hey. That little brat, William. Now go that brat, William.

• 43:30Bobby Lee?

  What's up, man?

• 43:31Andrew Santino?

  Go that, go that, go that, go that, go that brat, William. We thought we'd bring in your furniture from home, make you feel comfortable.

• 43:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 43:39Speaker 05

  I, uh, I, I, I like it. I sat in the blue chair in case we're doing a gender reveal.

• 43:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 43:46Speaker 05

  All right, so some stuff.

• 43:47Bobby Lee?

  This is a boiled hamburger.

• 43:51Andrew Santino?

  So, so we've got this stuff Carlos brought us this stuff. Carlos, why did you bring us this?

• 43:55Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:55Andrew Santino?

  What is this for?

• 43:56Speaker 04

  So you could see what it's like to be like Brad.

• 43:58Andrew Santino?

  Oh.

• 44:01Andrew Santino?

  So this is what it's like for a toothbrush?

• 44:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:03Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 44:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 44:04Speaker 05

  So then, man, so.

• 44:06Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 44:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 44:07Speaker 05

  It's tough, isn't it?

• 44:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's tough.

• 44:09Andrew Santino?

  Ends are big.

• 44:09Bobby Lee?

  I realize how tough it is.

• 44:10Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 44:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 44:12Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:12Bobby Lee?

  But you can still write with this.

• 44:13Speaker 05

  Well, but you gotta use a toothbrush with two hands.

• 44:16Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I see, I see.

• 44:17Speaker 05

  You gotta do a really hard scrub.

• 44:18Andrew Santino?

  That's the only way it works.

• 44:19Speaker 05

  Exactly.

• 44:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 44:21Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 44:22Bobby Lee?

  This is how they polished the pyramids.

• 44:26Bobby Lee?

  Remember back in the day?

• 44:27Speaker 05

  Dwarves didn't.

• 44:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I wasn't there, but I'm just saying.

• 44:29Andrew Santino?

  Wait, dwarves didn't do that?

• 44:30Speaker 05

  No, we didn't polish.

• 44:31Bobby Lee?

  There was one dwarf that worked on the pyramid. How do you, the, the top one, you got, they send you up there, no?

• 44:37Andrew Santino?

  Someone tells me the dwarf was at the bottom. They were like, yeah, get the bottom, get the stuff we can get down there.

• 44:42Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's like.

• 44:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but you can lift him to the top to put the little, you know, the temple part at the top of a pyramid.

• 44:47Speaker 05

  If you see a dwarf window washer, he's not doing the top.

• 44:49Andrew Santino?

  No, he's on the bottom.

• 44:50Speaker 05

  He's on the bottom.

• 44:51Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you're on the bottom?

• 44:52Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 44:52Bobby Lee?

  But you, I'm just saying you could be down the top.

• 44:54Speaker 05

  I've always been a power bottom, Bobby. You know this.

• 44:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. On top is fun for you. Is, is, is top fun?

• 45:01Speaker 05

  For window washing or sex? What are we talking about now?

• 45:05Bobby Lee?

  Have you ever been to Jimmy Aus?

• 45:07Speaker 05

  Wait, what?

• 45:07Bobby Lee?

  Jimmy Aus.

• 45:08Speaker 05

  Jimmy Yao?

• 45:09Bobby Lee?

  A U S.

• 45:11Andrew Santino?

  It's for men five eight and under.

• 45:14Bobby Lee?

  Because that's where I get my suits.

• 45:15Andrew Santino?

  That's where he gets his suits. At Jimmy Owls.

• 45:17Speaker 05

  I didn't know this was a real place. This was never discussed in the meetings.

• 45:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would like to highly recommend Jimmy Owls. They would love you.

• 45:24Speaker 05

  I'm gonna have to go there.

• 45:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 45:26Speaker 05

  Holy shit.

• 45:27Bobby Lee?

  I go there all the time.

• 45:28Speaker 05

  So like, I will walk into Jimmy Owls and just be like, wow, I have a challenge for you guys.

• 45:32Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 45:33Speaker 05

  You say five foot eight and under. Let's, let's hit the under.

• 45:36Bobby Lee?

  No, they have it all.

• 45:37Speaker 05

  They have it all?

• 45:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. They have it all there.

• 45:39Speaker 05

  My dwarf ass?

• 45:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Go to Jimmy Owls, dude.

• 45:42Andrew Santino?

  They have a section called Your Dwarf Ass. In the back of Jimmy Owls.

• 45:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 45:46Andrew Santino?

  We already plugged this guy so much, we're giving him good business.

• 45:48Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 45:49Speaker 05

  I mean, now, now he's gonna get

• 45:51Bobby Lee?

  Probably Dinklage goes.

• 45:52Speaker 05

  All my money.

• 45:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:53Speaker 05

  Wait, Dinklage goes?

• 45:54Andrew Santino?

  He hates Dinklage.

• 45:55Bobby Lee?

  I know, I know, I know.

• 45:56Andrew Santino?

  Arch nemesis.

• 45:57Speaker 05

  I can't.

• 45:58Bobby Lee?

  But you're not gonna go at the same time. Don't you guys have like, you know what I mean, a schedule?

• 46:03Andrew Santino?

  Aren't you guys on an app?

• 46:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, an app where it's like, we can't be here at the same time.

• 46:07Speaker 05

  Two dwarves can't be at the same time.

• 46:08Bobby Lee?

  Because there's only one section for you people, right? So that's a lot of traffic.

• 46:11Andrew Santino?

  Isn't there like an iDwarf app?

• 46:12Bobby Lee?

  You have to make an appointment, you know what I mean? Like, when dwarves can come in. Yeah.

• 46:16Andrew Santino?

  Okay, so what, what, what store?

• 46:18Bobby Lee?

  Wait, wait, wait, go ahead.

• 46:20Speaker 05

  The dwarf app actually is the same as the car app, Lyft.

• 46:24Andrew Santino?

  Lyft.

• 46:26Andrew Santino?

  Very good.

• 46:27Bobby Lee?

  It's good, it's good.

• 46:28Andrew Santino?

  What store has the best dwarf clothing?

• 46:30Speaker 05

  Oh, the best dwarf clothing?

• 46:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 46:33Andrew Santino?

  Like Brad's gonna go shopping today.

• 46:34Bobby Lee?

  Aside from, um, Gap's Kids.

• 46:36Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 46:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 46:38Andrew Santino?

  Frodo's.

• 46:39Bobby Lee?

  What called Frodo's?

• 46:41Speaker 05

  Let me tell you.

• 46:42Andrew Santino?

  He can't get

• 46:42Speaker 05

  Let me tell you.

• 46:43Bobby Lee?

  That's, dude, that's a great clothing

• 46:46Andrew Santino?

  Frodo's?

• 46:46Bobby Lee?

  Frodo's, dude? Yeah, Baggins.

• 46:52Bobby Lee?

  Or The Shire, whatever you wanna do.

• 46:53Speaker 05

  Let me tell you.

• 46:54Bobby Lee?

  I think that's a good clothing business.

• 46:57Speaker 05

  I will tell you where the best clothes are.

• 46:59Bobby Lee?

  Alright, Tom.

• 46:59Andrew Santino?

  It's at Plantain Republic.

• 47:01Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 47:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 47:04Speaker 05

  You guys.

• 47:11Speaker 05

  Plantain Republic.

• 47:12Andrew Santino?

  That's really funny.

• 47:13Speaker 05

  Well done. Well done. I will say.

• 47:18Andrew Santino?

  Alright.

• 47:19Speaker 05

  The selection at Build-A-Bear.

• 47:25Speaker 05

  It's so great.

• 47:26Andrew Santino?

  I knew it was coming.

• 47:27Speaker 05

  It's so great. I could be an astronaut. Yeah, yeah. I could be a dancer. That's so funny. I could get whatever I want there.

• 47:33Andrew Santino?

  And then we can put a little button in you so you have somebody's voice inside your stomach when we press it.

• 47:37Speaker 05

  Yeah. I finally have a heartbeat. Yeah. You don't have hearts.

• 47:40Bobby Lee?

  No, but where, because remember the other day you were at the store, a couple of months ago, and I was like, where'd you get that jacket? It's dope.

• 47:46Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 47:48Speaker 05

  Build, Build-A-Bear.

• 47:50Bobby Lee?

  I did ask him that.

• 47:51Andrew Santino?

  Well.

• 47:52Bobby Lee?

  Why'd you laugh at that?

• 47:53Andrew Santino?

  Because they're not, they're not for you.

• 47:56Bobby Lee?

  I know, I know. I know, but I was.

• 47:57Speaker 05

  That's why Bobby asked. He's like, ah, but it.

• 48:00Bobby Lee?

  No, I was really, like, I, I liked your fit that night.

• 48:03Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:03Bobby Lee?

  Right, so I was asking, like, where do you get, like, I, I feel like, I go, where'd you get all that? You know what I mean? And you were explaining to me, like, you know, you know a guy.

• 48:11Andrew Santino?

  That shirt is great. Where's that shirt from?

• 48:13Speaker 05

  Uh, this shirt is from a, uh, a, uh, kid's bowling team.

• 48:18Andrew Santino?

  That's dope.

• 48:18Speaker 05

  And I just ju, I, I just jumped him after a match.

• 48:21Andrew Santino?

  Imagine.

• 48:22Bobby Lee?

  I know what it was.

• 48:23Speaker 05

  I could take him.

• 48:23Bobby Lee?

  It was the pants.

• 48:25Speaker 05

  Oh, the pants?

• 48:26Bobby Lee?

  You remember the pants? You go, and you, and you bought a bunch of those.

• 48:28Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 48:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so that's what it was.

• 48:30Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 48:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 48:30Andrew Santino?

  So you made, yeah, if you find something that's good, see, I do that anyway. If I find something I like, I find a bunch of them.

• 48:35Bobby Lee?

  Let's go.

• 48:36Speaker 05

  That's what you do. I buy them all the time.

• 48:38Andrew Santino?

  You have to. Why? If I like it, it fits, because I don't like how certain jeans fit or pants. I'm like, I'm just gonna buy a few of these.

• 48:44Speaker 05

  Because, because you have the opposite problem of me. You have, like, long legs, but then no ass.

• 48:48Andrew Santino?

  I got a nice ass.

• 48:49Speaker 05

  It's no ass.

• 48:50Bobby Lee?

  No ass.

• 48:51Andrew Santino?

  Out of your fucking.

• 48:51Bobby Lee?

  You're out of your fucking mind.

• 48:52Speaker 05

  Are you kidding me? That is.

• 48:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:55Speaker 05

  But you're bending over.

• 48:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a really good ass.

• 48:57Speaker 05

  You're sticking it out.

• 48:58Bobby Lee?

  Good ass, dude.

• 48:59Andrew Santino?

  That's booty.

• 49:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, but now the pants are pushing it up.

• 49:01Bobby Lee?

  What about mine? What about mine?

• 49:02Speaker 05

  Alright, hold on. Let, let, let, let me judge.

• 49:05Andrew Santino?

  You asked for it.

• 49:06Speaker 05

  I asked for it?

• 49:07Andrew Santino?

  No, it's standing straight up. Look at it now. Look at my ass.

• 49:10Speaker 05

  Okay. You know what? You know what?

• 49:12Andrew Santino?

  Brother, I got a great shitter. You're out of your mind.

• 49:14Speaker 05

  I stand corrected?

• 49:15Andrew Santino?

  I have a nice shitter.

• 49:16Speaker 05

  I, I stand corrected. Only hair at the bottom.

• 49:18Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 49:19Speaker 05

  How'd you do that?

• 49:20Andrew Santino?

  Well, look at this. Look inside.

• 49:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. It's so pink. Dude, you have the pinkest asshole I've ever seen. It's so pink.

• 49:26Andrew Santino?

  I won an award in 06.

• 49:29Speaker 05

  You definitely have a virgin asshole.

• 49:30Andrew Santino?

  I do, brother.

• 49:31Bobby Lee?

  It's like a pig lips asshole, this guy.

• 49:33Andrew Santino?

  I just never been touched. It's never been touched. It's never been abused.

• 49:35Bobby Lee?

  That's not what I'm saying. The color has nothing to do about asshole abuse.

• 49:38Andrew Santino?

  Oh, it has a lot to do with it.

• 49:39Bobby Lee?

  Oh, really?

• 49:40Andrew Santino?

  Yours is darkest night.

• 49:41Bobby Lee?

  I know. It's not like a black eye. Someone is punching my fucking asshole. I'm just ethnic.

• 49:47Andrew Santino?

  They're punching it with their weed.

• 49:48Bobby Lee?

  No, they're not, dude. No, they're not. It's not a black eye.

• 49:50Andrew Santino?

  You know who lives in your asshole is the Greenland shark down there.

• 49:54Bobby Lee?

  Who has a darker asshole, the Greenland shark or me?

• 49:57Andrew Santino?

  By far, you.

• 49:59Speaker 05

  Like, I literally, you have the pinkest asshole I have ever seen.

• 50:03Bobby Lee?

  It's so pink. It's insane.

• 50:05Speaker 05

  Do you shit out your mouth? Because there's no way shit comes out your asshole.

• 50:10Bobby Lee?

  Brad, you're a genius.

• 50:11Speaker 05

  You must shit out your mouth.

• 50:12Andrew Santino?

  You've seen what I do on stage. Yes, I do shit out of my mouth.

• 50:16Bobby Lee?

  Are you a little bisexual or no?

• 50:18Speaker 05

  No, I, I've had a, I've had a male, male, female threesome.

• 50:25Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, the devil's threesome.

• 50:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Devil's three. Yeah, yeah, I've heard of that. That move.

• 50:29Speaker 05

  Yeah. Devil's two and a half.

• 50:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 50:32Speaker 05

  It was a lot of fun.

• 50:34Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 50:35Speaker 05

  We didn't do an Eiffel Tower. We did a Leaning Tower of Pisa.

• 50:43Speaker 05

  There's a tall guy in me.

• 50:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 50:44Speaker 05

  There's a tall guy in me. So I've done that. I don't know where that put me.

• 50:48Bobby Lee?

  But did you touch the guy at all in any way?

• 50:50Speaker 05

  Yeah, but it was accidental.

• 50:51Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah. There's always accidental rubbing.

• 50:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, there was. Well, like, we had to, like, we had to switch positions at one point.

• 50:58Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 50:58Speaker 05

  And this is back.

• 50:59Bobby Lee?

  I'm gonna just tell you right now, if I ever had sex with you and another girl, I'd be laughing so fucking hard. I would not be able to get hard, dude. You know how funny that'd be? Oh, my God.

• 51:12Speaker 05

  You would, you would be hearing the sound of Mario getting a coin every time I thrust.

• 51:21Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god dude, oh my god, it's so funny dude.

• 51:24Speaker 05

  How, alright, how scared would you be if you were having a threesome and, and the, and the other male was a dwarf? Of the, of, of the male having the bigger dick than you?

• 51:33Andrew Santino?

  Ooh.

• 51:35Speaker 05

  Cause that, that's why I gotta give this guy props that had the threesome with me?

• 51:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 51:39Speaker 05

  Because like, he was very confident and then it turned out, I found out why. But uh, yeah, you're a big ol' hoe.

• 51:45Bobby Lee?

  Can I ask you a serious question if, if I may, cause we're fucking around.

• 51:47Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 51:48Bobby Lee?

  You know what I mean, I wanna ask him a serious question.

• 51:50Andrew Santino?

  Of course.

• 51:51Bobby Lee?

  I told you. Do you think as a comic, like, sometimes I think, you know, like, the reason why, you know, I had the upper hand in comedy was because I'm a smaller, a Korean dude? And I look the way that I do, right, which sets me apart from other people, you know what I mean? Do you think that the, um, dwarvism helped you in your comedy?

• 52:08Speaker 05

  Oh, at first it helped.

• 52:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 52:10Speaker 05

  And then later it hurt.

• 52:12Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean?

• 52:13Speaker 05

  Because at first it helped because...

• 52:14Andrew Santino?

  Well, cause of his joints, I mean, they're really, they're...

• 52:17Speaker 05

  It's hard, I had to walk a long way, those comedy stools on stage are high.

• 52:21Andrew Santino?

  You know how high the stages?

• 52:22Speaker 05

  Oh my god, I had to get a sherpa for those things.

• 52:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 52:25Andrew Santino?

  They had to make one of those, "Ooh."

• 52:28Andrew Santino?

  Get them up on stage, go ahead.

• 52:30Speaker 05

  So, it helped at first.

• 52:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 52:32Speaker 05

  Because then, for the exact reasons that you described, that people wanted something different on the show, they didn't wanna just your average straight white male, like, like, like just a straight, redheaded, white guy, like, that's so boring.

• 52:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 52:43Speaker 05

  That's just so horrible and boring, even if they do have a nice hat.

• 52:46Bobby Lee?

  Cause I believe that it was harder for you.

• 52:47Andrew Santino?

  You let him finish, then we'll get to it, yeah.

• 52:49Speaker 05

  But, and then, so that got me on shows, but then it was harder to get past the threshold of people think I was a gimmick? And people to actually like, pass me on to the next stage of like, oh no, but he's, he's actually funny. Like, actually funny, he's on stage.

• 53:03Bobby Lee?

  I don't know dude, I think that's your own head saying that, because it's like, you know what I mean?

• 53:06Andrew Santino?

  There was a lot of space in it.

• 53:07Speaker 05

  There's a lot of space.

• 53:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 53:08Speaker 05

  That's an echo.

• 53:09Bobby Lee?

  Oh, it's an echo, okay. Yeah.

• 53:12Speaker 05

  That's a big ol' head.

• 53:13Bobby Lee?

  When I was on the cruise when I was performing, I thought to myself, Brad, you would have just disappeared because he was shaking back and forth.

• 53:19Speaker 05

  Oh my god. I love.

• 53:21Bobby Lee?

  You mean gone to the other side.

• 53:22Speaker 05

  Dude, I love comedy on cruises.

• 53:24Bobby Lee?

  Fun, right?

• 53:25Andrew Santino?

  Fun, he loved it.

• 53:26Speaker 05

  When it's a theme cruise.

• 53:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 53:27Speaker 05

  Did you do the, do the Joker's one and Burt's Cruise?

• 53:29Bobby Lee?

  No, I did the, um, the Workaholics guys.

• 53:32Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay.

• 53:33Bobby Lee?

  That was really fun.

• 53:34Speaker 05

  That, yeah.

• 53:34Bobby Lee?

  It was me, Swartz, and it was so much fun.

• 53:36Speaker 05

  That's so cool.

• 53:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 53:37Speaker 05

  Uh, I do the Chris Jericho Rockin' Wrestling Rager at Sea.

• 53:40Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 53:41Speaker 05

  So that's pro wrestling, comedy, and heavy metal on a boat.

• 53:45Andrew Santino?

  Wow. Do you get to wrestle?

• 53:46Speaker 05

  Oh, there's clips.

• 53:47Andrew Santino?

  Oh, really?

• 53:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, there, there is a clip of me giving Horn Swaggle a Stone Cold Stunner. You can find that.

• 53:54Andrew Santino?

  No fucking way.

• 53:55Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 54:02Andrew Santino?

  Oh, he took off your hat?

• 54:03Speaker 05

  He stole my hat, that son of a bitch. Gives me the finger.

• 54:09Bobby Lee?

  Oh, my God.

• 54:10Speaker 05

  That was the moment when like Sonic the Hedgehog gets hit and the coins just fly out of him.

• 54:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 54:15Speaker 05

  Me giving another dwarf a stunner.

• 54:17Andrew Santino?

  You gotta go down there, it's gonna take him an hour to get back up.

• 54:20Bobby Lee?

  Wow, that sounds so much.

• 54:21Speaker 05

  That was so much fun. So like, so like, as a wrestling fan, I can tell you like, the holy shit chant is like, uh, one of the best compliments a wrestler can get. And, and we got that just staring at each other.

• 54:33Bobby Lee?

  Oh, wow. Wow, wow.

• 54:35Speaker 05

  I, I didn't have to go through like a table of thumbtacks or anything like that.

• 54:38Andrew Santino?

  Look at that, that's a very holy shit moment.

• 54:40Bobby Lee?

  Did you practice that?

• 54:41Speaker 05

  No.

• 54:41Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's instinctual?

• 54:43Speaker 05

  Felt it in the moment, man. Yeah, and that's a dwarf on dwarf crime.

• 54:47Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 54:49Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 54:50Andrew Santino?

  I love one of those stats on dwarf on dwarf crime. That's my, look at my favorite thing. You, you did it, but it was the same height as before.

• 54:59Speaker 05

  As I'm sitting down, it's the same.

• 55:01Andrew Santino?

  Same height.

• 55:03Speaker 05

  Bro, I have watched dwarves get into actual fights. It is so funny.

• 55:07Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 55:08Speaker 05

  It is so funny. I, so, every summer, there's a, there's a national dwarf convention.

• 55:14Andrew Santino?

  Oh, my God, we gotta go.

• 55:15Bobby Lee?

  We gotta go.

• 55:16Andrew Santino?

  Where is it?

• 55:16Speaker 05

  Uh, this year it's in Door. This year it's in Door. That's very good. Uh, this year it's in New Orleans.

• 55:23Bobby Lee?

  Oh, wow. We gotta go.

• 55:25Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 55:25Bobby Lee?

  Little Rock?

• 55:28Speaker 05

  Smallville.

• 55:32Speaker 05

  Pebleton.

• 55:35Andrew Santino?

  The little people of America and the LPA National Conference is an annual week-long event, providing support, education, community for people with dwarfism and their families and.

• 55:43Speaker 05

  That's a fun way of saying boning.

• 55:45Andrew Santino?

  Last year.

• 55:46Speaker 05

  Cause that's all for.

• 55:47Andrew Santino?

  Last year was in San Diego.

• 55:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, wow, I went to that one.

• 55:50Andrew Santino?

  So, um, the tickets half off, so when. Stop it, dude. Minneapolis. Minneapolis.

• 55:59Bobby Lee?

  That's a good one.

• 56:00Andrew Santino?

  Very good.

• 56:01Bobby Lee?

  That's a really good one.

• 56:02Andrew Santino?

  Very good. So, so this year.

• 56:04Speaker 05

  It should not be in Ireland. If it's in Ireland, we're gonna trip some people the fuck out.

• 56:09Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, dude.

• 56:09Speaker 05

  Yeah, someone's gonna walk out of a pub and go, holy shit.

• 56:12Andrew Santino?

  This is like the, it's like when the crickets fell from the sky, you know, they see these guys. It's happening.

• 56:16Speaker 05

  It's a fucking sign of the apocalypse.

• 56:18Andrew Santino?

  So click on that thing, the future national, I wanna see this 2026, it's happening in July.

• 56:23Speaker 05

  Yep, July, it's in New Orleans and then 2027, it's in New York, New York.

• 56:27Andrew Santino?

  Wow, wait, why can't we go to this? Is it, is it?

• 56:30Bobby Lee?

  If we went, would it be weird or no?

• 56:32Speaker 05

  Yeah, okay.

• 56:35Speaker 05

  I mean, we.

• 56:35Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, we'd be showing off.

• 56:36Speaker 05

  Yeah, we don't have security guards or anything.

• 56:39Bobby Lee?

  Oh, okay.

• 56:39Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but what if you guys need to grab something from up on a top shelf or something?

• 56:43Speaker 05

  We need you guys.

• 56:44Bobby Lee?

  Do, but I mean, but, but the people that are working there are not dwarves, are there or no?

• 56:48Speaker 05

  I mean, yeah, it's all, it's all.

• 56:50Andrew Santino?

  So everyone.

• 56:51Bobby Lee?

  Everyone working there is dwarves as well.

• 56:53Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 56:53Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 56:54Speaker 05

  Yeah, so like.

• 56:55Bobby Lee?

  Is the building smaller?

• 56:57Speaker 05

  No, it's, it's a regular hotel, which always trips me out, cause there's people staying in this hotel that don't know there's a dwarf convention going on when they book it and they just show up like I've hit the.

• 57:06Andrew Santino?

  Some guy on a sales trip walks into the, the marquee, walks out of the bar there in the lobby, he's like, fuck.

• 57:14Speaker 05

  Could you, could you imagine if you did drugs for like the first time and then you woke up the next day?

• 57:19Andrew Santino?

  Marriott?

• 57:20Speaker 05

  You're surrounded by dwarves.

• 57:23Andrew Santino?

  Tripping on mushrooms.

• 57:24Speaker 05

  I'd be like, holy shit, I fell into Narnia.

• 57:27Bobby Lee?

  So how many people go to this convention?

• 57:29Speaker 05

  Over a thousand.

• 57:29Bobby Lee?

  Right, so that's like 300 regular people.

• 57:31Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 57:33Andrew Santino?

  A thousand little people go every single year. And now, is this raising money for anything at all?

• 57:38Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 57:38Andrew Santino?

  So it's a charity?

• 57:39Speaker 05

  LPA.

• 57:40Bobby Lee?

  What does that stand for, LPA?

• 57:41Speaker 05

  Little People of America.

• 57:42Bobby Lee?

  Oh, there is an organization.

• 57:43Speaker 05

  Yeah. Little People of America.

• 57:48Speaker 05

  L P S in America.

• 57:50Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 57:50Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 57:51Andrew Santino?

  And now, now, this is actually, let's be honest.

• 57:53Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 57:54Andrew Santino?

  This is similar to summer camps and all that stuff. This is just a hookup convention for young, single.

• 58:00Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 58:00Andrew Santino?

  Yes.

• 58:00Speaker 05

  Yeah. You, you, you go all year and you're, and you're friend zoned, and then you go to a dwarf convention, and you're hot as fuck.

• 58:07Andrew Santino?

  That's pretty cool.

• 58:08Speaker 05

  And it's awesome, like.

• 58:09Andrew Santino?

  Now, were you getting laid at these when you were single, when you were going to these?

• 58:12Speaker 05

  Bro.

• 58:12Andrew Santino?

  Wait, wait, seriously?

• 58:13Bobby Lee?

  With other dwarves?

• 58:14Speaker 05

  Bro.

• 58:15Andrew Santino?

  Really?

• 58:15Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 58:16Speaker 05

  I've got stories.

• 58:17Andrew Santino?

  Give us a story.

• 58:18Speaker 05

  I've got a story. I've laid, I've laid waste to some little women.

• 58:22Andrew Santino?

  What? And have, what was the?

• 58:24Bobby Lee?

  So little women turn you on?

• 58:26Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 58:26Bobby Lee?

  Oh, okay.

• 58:27Andrew Santino?

  You're married to, you're married to, well, what do you mean, little women turn you on?

• 58:32Speaker 05

  Yeah, why is that funny?

• 58:33Speaker 04

  Because you acted surprised.

• 58:34Speaker 05

  No, I.

• 58:35Andrew Santino?

  No, he inquired.

• 58:36Speaker 05

  No, because I'll, I'll tell you why. Because I know some Asian dudes are attracted to white girls and not attracted.

• 58:41Andrew Santino?

  Not the same.

• 58:42Speaker 05

  It is the same. Traitors.

• 58:43Andrew Santino?

  No, it's not.

• 58:44Speaker 05

  Yeah. They're traitors, right? Yeah.

• 58:46Andrew Santino?

  Well, he's, he's married to a full-size Asian woman.

• 58:49Speaker 05

  I understand that. I know her.

• 58:51Andrew Santino?

  He's a traitor. He's a traitor.

• 58:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, he's not a traitor.

• 58:54Andrew Santino?

  That's, that was your point.

• 58:55Speaker 05

  You kind of are a traitor. Lot, lot, lot of the dwarf women call me a traitor.

• 58:59Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 58:59Speaker 05

  Do they really? Yeah. That's insane! Yeah, this is very true.

• 59:02Andrew Santino?

  No, what do you mean? This is the same as like?

• 59:04Speaker 04

  Black guys.

• 59:05Andrew Santino?

  What?

• 59:05Speaker 04

  Like, black guys with, uh, white girls.

• 59:07Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 59:08Andrew Santino?

  What's up?

• 59:11Speaker 04

  Like, black dudes when they're with white girls.

• 59:12Speaker 05

  That doesn't happen.

• 59:14Speaker 04

  And vice versa.

• 59:16Andrew Santino?

  Hey, hey.

• 59:16Speaker 04

  Who's the traitor today?

• 59:17Andrew Santino?

  You gonna leave him out there?

• 59:19Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 59:19Andrew Santino?

  Go ahead, let him fly.

• 59:20Speaker 04

  Oh, no, I don't need help on this, because I know it's true.

• 59:23Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 59:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 59:23Speaker 05

  Oh, he, oh, he knows about black.

• 59:25Bobby Lee?

  Didn't the black women complain that, uh, black men are?

• 59:28Speaker 04

  With white girls.

• 59:29Bobby Lee?

  Oh, right, right. Yeah, yeah.

• 59:30Andrew Santino?

  Oh, dude.

• 59:31Speaker 04

  That's what he meant.

• 59:31Andrew Santino?

  I thought he meant, he didn't like it.

• 59:35Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 59:35Bobby Lee?

  Oh, no, no.

• 59:37Andrew Santino?

  I was like, are you good?

• 59:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 59:39Speaker 04

  No.

• 59:40Bobby Lee?

  I didn't, I didn't read that.

• 59:41Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 59:41Andrew Santino?

  But you understand, that was my boiled hamburger moment.

• 59:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 59:45Speaker 05

  But also, he didn't, but also, he doesn't like it.

• 59:47Andrew Santino?

  But he doesn't like it. No, yeah, for what it's worth, yeah.

• 59:50Speaker 05

  Let's be honest.

• 59:51Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, but, but, okay, how many? And these are all, you're all consenting adults.

• 59:56Speaker 05

  That's true.

• 59:56Andrew Santino?

  How many little people, how many little women, love that movie. How many little women, how many little women?

• 1:00:02Speaker 05

  We should remake it with little women.

• 1:00:04Andrew Santino?

  Why did they not?

• 1:00:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:06Speaker 05

  How is that not?

• 1:00:07Andrew Santino?

  How many little women in a weekend, it's a weekend?

• 1:00:09Speaker 05

  Uh, it's a week.

• 1:00:10Andrew Santino?

  It's a full week?

• 1:00:11Speaker 05

  Yeah, full week.

• 1:00:12Andrew Santino?

  What was the full takedown number of a full week?

• 1:00:14Speaker 05

  Of my-

• 1:00:15Andrew Santino?

  How many women did you sleep with?

• 1:00:16Speaker 05

  Of my best year?

• 1:00:17Andrew Santino?

  Your best year?

• 1:00:18Speaker 05

  I mean, we, we hit two hands.

• 1:00:20Andrew Santino?

  No way.

• 1:00:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:00:22Andrew Santino?

  You're talking one or two a day?

• 1:00:24Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:00:25Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 1:00:26Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:00:26Speaker 05

  It was fun.

• 1:00:27Andrew Santino?

  Wow.

• 1:00:27Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:00:28Andrew Santino?

  I told you, it's a fuck carnival.

• 1:00:29Speaker 05

  I, I was fucking Matt Rife at that damn thing. It was great.

• 1:00:32Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:00:33Andrew Santino?

  You hooked up with Matt Rife?

• 1:00:34Bobby Lee?

  You're the Matt Rife of little people.

• 1:00:36Speaker 05

  The Matt Rife of little people.

• 1:00:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, wow.

• 1:00:39Andrew Santino?

  He's doing crowd work.

• 1:00:42Speaker 05

  No, I had a, I had a very good time when I was single.

• 1:00:45Andrew Santino?

  God, that's amazing.

• 1:00:46Speaker 05

  It was fun.

• 1:00:47Bobby Lee?

  But who do you find more attractive, um, little people or?

• 1:00:51Speaker 05

  Uh, and, and this sounds-

• 1:00:53Andrew Santino?

  Non-little-

• 1:00:53Bobby Lee?

  Or non-little people. Like, what do you?

• 1:00:55Speaker 05

  Or Reachers.

• 1:00:56Bobby Lee?

  Or Reachers.

• 1:00:57Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:00:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, can we call them Reachers?

• 1:00:58Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:00:58Andrew Santino?

  Wait, what's our, what's our derogatory names? Reachers, what's the other one you call us?

• 1:01:01Speaker 05

  Biggers.

• 1:01:02Andrew Santino?

  Bigger, yeah, bigger.

• 1:01:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:04Andrew Santino?

  Big Uz, Big Uz.

• 1:01:05Bobby Lee?

  So who do you, what do you find more attractive?

• 1:01:07Speaker 05

  No, I, I say hard R.

• 1:01:09Andrew Santino?

  Okay.

• 1:01:10Speaker 05

  You have to say Big-

• 1:01:11Andrew Santino?

  Say Big Uz.

• 1:01:11Speaker 05

  Yeah, I can say Big Erz.

• 1:01:13Andrew Santino?

  Okay, okay, got it.

• 1:01:14Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:01:14Speaker 05

  Don't like you, Big Erz.

• 1:01:16Andrew Santino?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:16Speaker 05

  Biggers be crazy.

• 1:01:17Bobby Lee?

  So do you prefer Big Uz, Big Uz, or, uh, or do you prefer, um, Little Uz?

• 1:01:23Andrew Santino?

  Litlers, Litlers.

• 1:01:25Bobby Lee?

  Little Uz, right?

• 1:01:26Speaker 05

  Liliputians.

• 1:01:27Bobby Lee?

  Liliputians. Yeah, I'm just learning this.

• 1:01:30Speaker 05

  It, it sounds crazy, but I truly don't have a preference.

• 1:01:33Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:01:33Speaker 05

  I truly don't.

• 1:01:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:34Andrew Santino?

  Cause he's been with both women.

• 1:01:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:36Speaker 05

  It's great.

• 1:01:36Bobby Lee?

  I've just never had the opportunity to date a, a, a little person.

• 1:01:40Speaker 05

  Come on, you're Asian, there's plenty.

• 1:01:44Andrew Santino?

  To many women, to many women, you are the little person.

• 1:01:48Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 1:01:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. But you know what I mean, though?

• 1:01:54Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:01:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, have you had the opportunity? Like, I've never been hit on by a little person, or...

• 1:01:58Speaker 05

  Gotta go to the convention, man.

• 1:01:59Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, I mean, I've never, I never have. That's kinda crazy. No, I've never been hit on, but, but, because here's the thing. Every time I've ever seen like a little woman, she's with a little man.

• 1:02:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:11Andrew Santino?

  It's, it's, it's, it's like, I've seen many little men in pub, little men, I've seen, I don't know.

• 1:02:17Bobby Lee?

  Slow down. Ballers, yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:20Andrew Santino?

  I've seen many male dwarfs in public without women, like by themselves or in a group. But I've almost never seen a dwarf woman with a group of other dwarf women in public out on the town.

• 1:02:32Bobby Lee?

  Why, there needs to be more than one. Do you have a selection?

• 1:02:35Andrew Santino?

  I'm just saying.

• 1:02:35Speaker 05

  What do you call that group?

• 1:02:36Bobby Lee?

  They're not M and Ms.

• 1:02:37Andrew Santino?

  What do I call them?

• 1:02:38Speaker 05

  Yeah. Like a murder of crows?

• 1:02:40Bobby Lee?

  I like the green M and Ms.

• 1:02:42Speaker 05

  What's a group of dwarves? Is it a, is it a coaster of dwarves?

• 1:02:50Andrew Santino?

  I don't know, dude. I've never seen a handful.

• 1:02:55Andrew Santino?

  Look at those girls, they're a handful of them.

• 1:02:57Bobby Lee?

  I can see like 20 women coming out of a Waymo.

• 1:03:01Speaker 05

  Bro, there, there was one time at a convention where, uh, there, there was, there was a group. There was a group action going on, and there was...

• 1:03:11Andrew Santino?

  Wait a minute, there was an orgy?

• 1:03:12Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:03:12Bobby Lee?

  Of, of little people having, little people orgy?

• 1:03:15Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:03:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:15Speaker 05

  And there was about, but that...

• 1:03:17Bobby Lee?

  LPOs. I call them LPOs.

• 1:03:19Andrew Santino?

  Stop it, Carlos. Stop it.

• 1:03:22Bobby Lee?

  Stop it, stop it, stop it.

• 1:03:23Speaker 05

  We all slept in the same bed that night, but instead, we slept like sideways.

• 1:03:30Bobby Lee?

  Like sardines?

• 1:03:37Speaker 05

  We, we, we fit.

• 1:03:39Andrew Santino?

  You fit.

• 1:03:39Speaker 05

  We fit.

• 1:03:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Wow.

• 1:03:41Andrew Santino?

  Well, that's the best thing about that convention. You guys can all share a room, huh?

• 1:03:44Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:03:45Bobby Lee?

  Like puppies and stuff.

• 1:03:46Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:03:47Bobby Lee?

  Like a litter. Do you call it a litter?

• 1:03:50Speaker 05

  He told you it's called a handful.

• 1:03:52Andrew Santino?

  Handful.

• 1:03:53Speaker 05

  And full of one.

• 1:03:54Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:03:54Speaker 05

  And, uh, yeah, yeah, you throw a couple pillows in the bathtub, you can fit three more in there.

• 1:03:59Bobby Lee?

  Wow, wow.

• 1:04:00Speaker 05

  You're good.

• 1:04:00Bobby Lee?

  So how many people fit on the bed? I want to do the math on this.

• 1:04:03Speaker 05

  So, and this is real.

• 1:04:05Bobby Lee?

  It's, what size bed, is it?

• 1:04:07Andrew Santino?

  Wait, wait, wait.

• 1:04:08Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:04:08Andrew Santino?

  It's a king hotel bed.

• 1:04:10Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:04:10Andrew Santino?

  He's gonna tell you what is actually real.

• 1:04:12Bobby Lee?

  Oh, tell me.

• 1:04:12Andrew Santino?

  No jokes.

• 1:04:13Bobby Lee?

  No jokes.

• 1:04:13Speaker 05

  No jokes. We always make sure there's either like six or eight of us.

• 1:04:18Andrew Santino?

  Oh my god.

• 1:04:20Speaker 05

  There can't be seven of us.

• 1:04:22Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 1:04:23Speaker 04

  The animals are starting to sing.

• 1:04:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:27Speaker 05

  We do that on purpose. There's just like a sleeping white girl.

• 1:04:32Speaker 05

  We will literally look around and be like, okay, there's six. If one guy comes up, we're like, you can't come in.

• 1:04:36Andrew Santino?

  You can't come in.

• 1:04:38Speaker 05

  Find another.

• 1:04:38Bobby Lee?

  That's, really, that's lore then. It's a lore thing.

• 1:04:41Speaker 05

  We don't like it.

• 1:04:42Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Oh, you don't like it?

• 1:04:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, we like, we're, there can't, there cannot be seven of us in a room.

• 1:04:46Bobby Lee?

  Wow, that's so funny. But that's really funny. Nine's fine, though.

• 1:04:50Speaker 05

  No, yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Any none but seven, because, okay.

• 1:04:52Speaker 05

  Totally cool.

• 1:04:53Bobby Lee?

  Because of the movie.

• 1:04:55Speaker 05

  Yeah, by the way, did, uh, did you guys see the, the results of the Razzie Awards?

• 1:05:00Andrew Santino?

  No.

• 1:05:01Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 1:05:01Speaker 05

  Uh, the CGI dwarf actors.

• 1:05:04Andrew Santino?

  Oh, that's right, you, you told me that.

• 1:05:05Speaker 05

  Won an award, which I think is-

• 1:05:08Bobby Lee?

  I think that's great.

• 1:05:08Speaker 05

  Fucking fantastic.

• 1:05:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:10Speaker 05

  That, you know, it was, uh, not actual dwarves playing the dwarves.

• 1:05:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:14Andrew Santino?

  Which I know you have a big gripe with.

• 1:05:16Bobby Lee?

  Are you still mad at that?

• 1:05:17Speaker 05

  Yeah, of course I'm still mad at that. I'm just, I'm just on the fucking payday, dude.

• 1:05:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:21Andrew Santino?

  All, all seven artificial dwarves, all the AI CGI dwarves got, yeah.

• 1:05:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, as we're, as we're supporting actor.

• 1:05:27Andrew Santino?

  And Nicolas Cage was up there. Stephen Dorff, Greg Kinnear, and Sylvester Stallone.

• 1:05:31Bobby Lee?

  Who was Cage, were Cage for what?

• 1:05:33Andrew Santino?

  Gunslingers.

• 1:05:34Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I see.

• 1:05:35Speaker 05

  Yeah, we, yeah.

• 1:05:36Bobby Lee?

  I think he phones it in.

• 1:05:37Speaker 05

  Seven, uh, seven CGI dwarves.

• 1:05:39Andrew Santino?

  Didn't use to.

• 1:05:40Speaker 05

  Won for we're supporting actor, and according to this website, uh, they took home a joint Razzie, stealing yet another award that could have gone to a real life dwarf actor.

• 1:05:51Bobby Lee?

  Let me ask you something.

• 1:05:52Speaker 05

  I could have won that Razzie.

• 1:05:53Bobby Lee?

  Now, if they did use, uh, dwarves in the actual movie and you didn't get the part of the seven, would you be mad?

• 1:05:59Speaker 05

  Heartbroken.

• 1:06:00Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah. That would be heartbreaking.

• 1:06:02Speaker 05

  It's like-

• 1:06:02Bobby Lee?

  Being one of the funniest guys on planet Earth and not getting it?

• 1:06:05Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:06:05Bobby Lee?

  Because they're, right? That would be heartbreaking.

• 1:06:07Speaker 05

  It, it, it truly would be, because it's like, there, there, there's not that many of us.

• 1:06:12Andrew Santino?

  Well, in the acting, in the acting space, yeah.

• 1:06:14Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:06:15Bobby Lee?

  Like, how many in the-

• 1:06:15Andrew Santino?

  I would argue there's too many of you in the non-acting.

• 1:06:20Speaker 05

  Gotta get you down to one profession.

• 1:06:23Bobby Lee?

  Probably 20, right?

• 1:06:24Speaker 05

  I mean, you see the same guys at every audition.

• 1:06:26Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 1:06:27Speaker 05

  You know, like-

• 1:06:27Bobby Lee?

  So it's like 50/50 getting it for you? Probably.

• 1:06:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, if they used dwarfs.

• 1:06:31Bobby Lee?

  Who's your like Frederick Douglass or?

• 1:06:36Bobby Lee?

  Like, is there a historical figure that you can go back to?

• 1:06:38Speaker 05

  Absolutely.

• 1:06:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, who is it?

• 1:06:40Speaker 05

  Billy Barty.

• 1:06:41Andrew Santino?

  Billy Barty?

• 1:06:41Bobby Lee?

  That's what I want to know. Look up Billy Barty here.

• 1:06:43Speaker 05

  Billy Barty, uh, he was an actor and he actually founded Little People of America. He founded LPA.

• 1:06:49Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:06:50Speaker 05

  So we, so all of those orgies happened because of Billy Barty.

• 1:06:53Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, thank you, Billy Barty.

• 1:06:55Bobby Lee?

  That's your MLK?

• 1:06:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:06:56Bobby Lee?

  Okay, wow, yeah.

• 1:06:58Speaker 05

  We, we, we should at least get a half day off work.

• 1:07:00Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:07:02Speaker 05

  For, for his birthday.

• 1:07:04Bobby Lee?

  I had a dream!

• 1:07:07Bobby Lee?

  You're right. He has a speech.

• 1:07:10Speaker 05

  I mean, I'd make fun of you, but that's kind of what he sounded like.

• 1:07:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:14Andrew Santino?

  Billy Barty.

• 1:07:15Speaker 05

  Yeah, that, so that, yeah, so that's our guy.

• 1:07:17Bobby Lee?

  Wow, that's your guy.

• 1:07:18Andrew Santino?

  And how, and how, and how long ago did he pass away? How long has he been dead?

• 1:07:21Speaker 05

  Uh, I don't know.

• 1:07:23Andrew Santino?

  Let me see, 2000 he died.

• 1:07:24Speaker 05

  2000.

• 1:07:24Bobby Lee?

  So you never met him?

• 1:07:25Speaker 05

  Oh, no, I, I, I've met him.

• 1:07:27Bobby Lee?

  You've met Billy Barty?

• 1:07:28Speaker 05

  Yeah, I've met him.

• 1:07:29Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:07:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, he's a great guy.

• 1:07:31Bobby Lee?

  And would you get nervous when you met him?

• 1:07:32Speaker 05

  No, because I didn't really know who he was. But then, at the time-

• 1:07:36Andrew Santino?

  He didn't know his social impact.

• 1:07:37Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:07:38Bobby Lee?

  At the time you didn't?

• 1:07:39Speaker 05

  Yeah, and now, and now I know.

• 1:07:40Bobby Lee?

  So you blew off Billy Barty?

• 1:07:41Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:07:44Andrew Santino?

  He was in Willow?

• 1:07:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:46Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:07:46Andrew Santino?

  He was just-

• 1:07:46Bobby Lee?

  I remember him in Willow, yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:47Speaker 05

  He was the sorcerer. It's like the power to control the universe is in what finger?

• 1:07:52Bobby Lee?

  Was he R2-D2 or?

• 1:07:53Speaker 05

  No, that was Kenny Baker.

• 1:07:54Bobby Lee?

  Oh, Kenny Baker.

• 1:07:55Speaker 05

  I know way too much.

• 1:07:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. No, that's good. You know your history. I think that's important.

• 1:07:59Speaker 05

  I gotta know my history. They gave, they gave us a month finally. Yeah, so it's more of a pamphlet, not really a whole book.

• 1:08:07Andrew Santino?

  So he died at what, what does it say?

• 1:08:09Speaker 05

  No.

• 1:08:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:09Andrew Santino?

  76, is that what he was?

• 1:08:11Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:08:11Bobby Lee?

  But historically, but historically, who's your, like, do you have a Genghis Khan back then or?

• 1:08:17Speaker 05

  Oh, like, oh, like, oh, like a dwarf.

• 1:08:18Andrew Santino?

  Evil dwarf.

• 1:08:19Bobby Lee?

  Like, is there an evil dwarf back then, like 203, 400 years?

• 1:08:22Speaker 05

  I mean, I think- Uh, there was one dwarf serial killer.

• 1:08:27Bobby Lee?

  Oh, whoa, this is dude.

• 1:08:28Speaker 05

  Uh, I forget his name.

• 1:08:31Andrew Santino?

  Well, look at this. There's, there's a couple here. There's, uh, Tom Thumb, the original Tom Thumb, Charles Stratton.

• 1:08:35Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:08:36Andrew Santino?

  And then there was, um, uh, Count Joseph Borowski, a 3-3 Polish born entertainer, musician, author who was welcomed to European courts, later lived in England, the Ovitz family, family of Jewish entertainers in Romania.

• 1:08:48Speaker 05

  The O, okay, the Ovitz family, I, i- if, if you gave me unlimited power in Hollywood, I'd make that movie.

• 1:08:56Andrew Santino?

  The Ovitz family.

• 1:08:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:08:57Bobby Lee?

  Why, why, why, why?

• 1:08:58Speaker 05

  They were a family of Jewish dwarves from Romania, but they were taken to Auschwitz. And, uh, they were experimented on and like they were did all, and not all of them survived.

• 1:09:07Andrew Santino?

  Don't do it.

• 1:09:08Speaker 05

  It, come on, do it.

• 1:09:09Andrew Santino?

  Don't.

• 1:09:10Speaker 05

  Do it, Bobby.

• 1:09:11Andrew Santino?

  Don't.

• 1:09:11Bobby Lee?

  I didn't even, what do you?

• 1:09:12Andrew Santino?

  It's a hat, it's a hat on a hat. Don't do it.

• 1:09:14Bobby Lee?

  I really don't have a joke for it.

• 1:09:15Andrew Santino?

  Don't.

• 1:09:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you don't do it, dude.

• 1:09:17Andrew Santino?

  Don't.

• 1:09:17Speaker 05

  Do it to my face.

• 1:09:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:18Andrew Santino?

  Don't.

• 1:09:18Speaker 05

  Look at me.

• 1:09:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:20Speaker 05

  Remember I have a child?

• 1:09:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:23Andrew Santino?

  The little train.

• 1:09:32Andrew Santino?

  Stop it!

• 1:09:33Speaker 05

  You want?

• 1:09:34Andrew Santino?

  Is it gonna put you guys in the toaster oven?

• 1:09:36Speaker 05

  Easy bake, easy bake.

• 1:09:39Bobby Lee?

  You guys are in dog cages?

• 1:09:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, you heard the ding of the easy bake. You're like, ding, dwarves are done.

• 1:09:47Andrew Santino?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:09:48Speaker 05

  So, those are the worst jokes ever.

• 1:09:49Andrew Santino?

  The dwarves of Auschwitz.

• 1:09:51Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 1:09:51Andrew Santino?

  Wow, that's so fucked up.

• 1:09:53Bobby Lee?

  That's so fucked up.

• 1:09:54Speaker 05

  That's the documentary that was.

• 1:09:55Bobby Lee?

  Dude, now, now, the food, it turns, no, no.

• 1:09:58Andrew Santino?

  Stop.

• 1:09:58Bobby Lee?

  No, I would ask.

• 1:09:59Andrew Santino?

  What are you doing?

• 1:10:00Bobby Lee?

  I'm being real, though.

• 1:10:00Andrew Santino?

  Stop it!

• 1:10:01Bobby Lee?

  Can I be real about it?

• 1:10:02Andrew Santino?

  Please?

• 1:10:02Bobby Lee?

  Right, it's just like, you mean, right, you, they weren't as hungry as.

• 1:10:08Andrew Santino?

  I knew it. I knew it.

• 1:10:09Bobby Lee?

  Because it's a matter of, they give you like less bread.

• 1:10:13Speaker 05

  They give everyone a slice of bread. We're sitting there like, we're eating good tonight, boys.

• 1:10:16Bobby Lee?

  You just get like, a crouton.

• 1:10:20Speaker 05

  We gotta starve the dwarves. What, what, what do we do? Crouton. Crouton.

• 1:10:23Bobby Lee?

  Give him a crouton.

• 1:10:24Andrew Santino?

  Crouton is a loaf of bread.

• 1:10:26Bobby Lee?

  What are you gonna fuck a loaf of bread?

• 1:10:29Bobby Lee?

  Did you guys get the same amount of food?

• 1:10:32Speaker 05

  I don't know, I wasn't there.

• 1:10:33Bobby Lee?

  Okay, alright.

• 1:10:34Speaker 05

  That old?

• 1:10:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, alright.

• 1:10:35Speaker 05

  Seven dwarves of Auschwitz. The fact that there were seven of them.

• 1:10:38Andrew Santino?

  Oh my god. Seven dwarves of Auschwitz, that's the original story.

• 1:10:41Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:10:43Andrew Santino?

  That is crazy.

• 1:10:44Speaker 05

  Remake that, Disney, and I swear to god if you CGI people.

• 1:10:48Bobby Lee?

  Seven dwarf Auschwitz, that's a cool fuck, wow, they gotta make that movie.

• 1:10:53Speaker 05

  I really want that too.

• 1:10:54Bobby Lee?

  That's a movie that you should produce.

• 1:10:55Speaker 05

  I wanna produce it.

• 1:10:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:56Speaker 05

  I just don't have enough money right now.

• 1:10:58Andrew Santino?

  No, you gotta find the rights to it, is what you gotta do.

• 1:11:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, who has the IP of that?

• 1:11:02Speaker 05

  Who the hell is John the Dwarf?

• 1:11:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:05Speaker 05

  John the Dwarf, the desert father of early Christianity?

• 1:11:08Andrew Santino?

  Yeah, John the...

• 1:11:09Speaker 05

  What?

• 1:11:09Andrew Santino?

  John the Dwarf.

• 1:11:10Speaker 05

  Blame me?

• 1:11:11Andrew Santino?

  A Coptic desert, yeah, the Coptic desert father, yeah.

• 1:11:13Speaker 05

  Alright. And then there was one dwarf I know who was actually the one that actually mapped, like, uh, the inside of the human body. Like, one of the first ones.

• 1:11:23Andrew Santino?

  Well, cause he could crawl in there.

• 1:11:24Speaker 05

  Exactly.

• 1:11:45Speaker 05

  Make one slice and I'm in there.

• 1:11:47Andrew Santino?

  Fuck.

• 1:11:48Bobby Lee?

  Through where?

• 1:11:49Speaker 05

  How do you know where the liver is? I've been there.

• 1:11:52Andrew Santino?

  Cause I have been.

• 1:11:53Speaker 05

  I've been there, I can tell the tale.

• 1:11:55Bobby Lee?

  We're so sorry, man.

• 1:11:57Speaker 05

  Why?

• 1:11:57Bobby Lee?

  I feel bad, I feel...

• 1:11:58Speaker 05

  It's funny.

• 1:11:59Bobby Lee?

  That's not funny, dude.

• 1:12:00Speaker 05

  It's okay.

• 1:12:01Bobby Lee?

  It's so fucked up.

• 1:12:02Speaker 05

  It's alright.

• 1:12:04Andrew Santino?

  I see him just crawling around in there. He's crawling around.

• 1:12:14Speaker 05

  Andrew, Andrew, you'd see the lump in the chest like from Alien?

• 1:12:20Speaker 05

  In fact, that's what the motivation for Alien was, that burst out of the chest.

• 1:12:24Bobby Lee?

  He's poking his head out, there are five arteries around the heart. There are five arteries around the heart, and he pops back in.

• 1:12:31Speaker 05

  There's five, there's four. There's four chambers.

• 1:12:33Andrew Santino?

  God damn.

• 1:12:34Speaker 05

  Hold on.

• 1:12:36Speaker 05

  I'm gonna find out how many stomachs we have. I'll be right back.

• 1:12:38Bobby Lee?

  What do you think? He's been in there for so long?

• 1:12:42Andrew Santino?

  Brad.

• 1:12:43Speaker 05

  Come in with the straw.

• 1:12:44Bobby Lee?

  Oh, God.

• 1:12:45Andrew Santino?

  Brad, this is why we've been friends for so long.

• 1:12:48Bobby Lee?

  So long.

• 1:12:48Andrew Santino?

  Because we have the most fun.

• 1:12:50Bobby Lee?

  We love you so much. Oh, God.

• 1:12:53Andrew Santino?

  And Brad, by the way. Brad, by the way, for people that want to know. Not just a great guy, great comedian. Has a special out right now. Please go watch it. It's live. Lot. Listen to the title of this. You ready?

• 1:13:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:04Andrew Santino?

  It's real. Tell them the name of the title.

• 1:13:07Speaker 05

  Live on Short Street.

• 1:13:08Andrew Santino?

  It was filmed on Short Street. The theater, the theater he filmed at sits on Short Street.

• 1:13:13Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:13:14Speaker 05

  In Lexington, Kentucky.

• 1:13:15Bobby Lee?

  And when does it come out, Brad?

• 1:13:17Speaker 05

  April 12th.

• 1:13:18Bobby Lee?

  April 12th. Check it out.

• 1:13:19Speaker 05

  April 12th on my YouTube channel.

• 1:13:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:21Speaker 05

  Go to Brad Williams Comedy. You can, you can watch it. Some might argue it's a short film.

• 1:13:28Bobby Lee?

  Amazing.

• 1:13:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, that, dude, if that ever won, like. I should make that Seven Dwarves of Auschwitz, but make it a short film.

• 1:13:38Andrew Santino?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:13:40Speaker 05

  Just so we can win best short film at the Oscars.

• 1:13:42Andrew Santino?

  So good.

• 1:13:43Bobby Lee?

  That'd be so good.

• 1:13:45Andrew Santino?

  He's a little funny. No, he's very funny. Go see the man live right now.

• 1:13:49Bobby Lee?

  Brad, look into them and say, thank you for being a bad friend.

• 1:13:53Speaker 05

  Hey, everybody. Thank you for being a bad friend.

• 1:13:55Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:13:56Andrew Santino?

  So good.