E2: Happiness, Meditation & Weird Wins

In this Chapter, I reflect on what this podcast hitting #1 on the business podcast chart taught me, I touch on what it takes to find happiness, the benefits of meditation, letting people go from Social Chain and my latest relationship update... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Steven Bartlett?

  Running a small business can feel a lot like being alone at sea. And too often, you're not steering the ship yourself. You're getting dragged underneath all of the admin, things like offer letters, onboarding, wages, payroll, filing taxes and health insurance.

• 0:17Steven Bartlett?

  And that's where our sponsor Gusto helps. They help you break free of all of this clutter and all of this admin work and all of this headache. Gusto is an online payroll and benefit software built for small businesses, just like some of you. It's an all-in-one, remote-friendly and incredibly easy-to-use platform, so that you can pay, hire, onboard and support your team from anywhere in the world. That way, you can channel all of your energy into growing your business, rather than just keeping your head above water, which is a feeling I know very, very well. Try Gusto today at gusto.com/daily and get three months free when you run up your first payroll through Gusto. That's three months of free payroll at gusto.com/daily. That's gusto.com/daily. If you're running a business, people have probably told you to use AI or get left behind.

• 1:02Steven Bartlett?

  And I get that urgency. Still, AI doesn't fix a messy business. It exposes one, because AI can only work with the information it can see. So if you ask AI something about your business, about stock or sales or customers or about your team, that information needs to be connected to the AI to be useful. That's the idea behind NetSuite by Oracle, the sponsor of this episode. NetSuite is the AI-powered business management suite that securely connects your financials, your inventory, your commerce, your HR and your CRM into a single source of truth. And with NetSuite Next, AI is built into that connected system. It can surface useful insights, help with routine work and let you ask questions about your business in plain English. For the first time ever, you can try NetSuite Next for free

• 1:45Steven Bartlett?

  if your business is generating seven figures or more. Just go to netsuite.ai/bartlett. That's netsuite.ai/bartlett.

• 2:03Steven Bartlett?

  Thank you. I had to start chapter two with a big thank you to everybody who subscribed, listened, tuned in last week and sent this podcast to the number one spot in the business charts on podcast on iTunes. I could not believe it. When I found out, which was about 4am in the morning, I swore about six or seven times in succession. And then I screenshotted it and then I refreshed it to check that I wasn't just delirious and it was still there. And then I started to go into a period of sort of reflection over the next couple of days, based on the type of feedback I was getting from you guys. And it taught me a very, very valuable lesson. And before I get started, I wanted to share that with you. And the lesson I've learned is if any of you are looking to tell your story to

• 2:45Steven Bartlett?

  the world, whether it's in podcast or vlog, or whatever form you are looking or medium you're looking to tell your story in, the one thing I advise you to do is to be authentic, honest, and give them that second dimension. Because, because of Instagram and Snapchat and filters and all these things, we live in a world where everybody is just showing one dimension. They're showing the filtered highlight reel of their life. They're showing the birthday party, the Michelin star meal, not the pot noodle. They're showing going to Paris and celebrations. They're not showing the night in under the duvet. And so when

• 3:29Steven Bartlett?

  someone does show that, it resonates. Because all of us still have that second dimension to our lives. But we're not seeing that on social media. So when someone offers it out, it's incredibly powerful. And it resonates harder than anything else. This resonates harder than any kind of scripted audio, anything I could have done, because it's unscripted and it's just a bunch of my thoughts. And it's a very personal thoughts, thoughts that you guys probably have about yourselves too. So that's my advice. Secondly, before I get started, I wanted to give you my promise. Because you guys sent this to number one and you listened and you gave me your time and attention. My promise to you is I am going to keep doing exactly that.

• 4:12Steven Bartlett?

  I'm not going to write anything. I'm not going to script it. I'm going to be honest and I'm going to let you into things that I probably don't let a lot of people into. And when I tell you about those things, I'm not going to add any fluff. They're going to be real, unfiltered.

• 4:29Steven Bartlett?

  And as direct and honest as I possibly can be. That's my promise. So without further ado, this is chapter two. This is the diary of a CEO. I'm Steven Bartlett. I hope nobody is listening, but if you are, then please keep this to yourself.

• 4:47Steven Bartlett?

  Okay, so the first entry in my diary this week is a bit of a continuation from something we touched on last week. For anybody that didn't listen last week or doesn't know what I'm talking about, I'm talking about the battle that eighteen year old Steve had with twenty five year old Steve. I'm twenty five now, but when I was eighteen years old, I used to go on AutoTrader virtually every day and look at Lamborghinis and really, really fast cars that I wanted when I was rich one day. And I had this real focus on stuff, money, cars, you know, that kind of thing. And also I think fame a little bit, if I'm being completely honest. I thought fame was a part of my future. And I thought in the same way that I believed money would give me a sense of fulfillment.

• 5:32Steven Bartlett?

  I thought notoriety and fame would as well.

• 5:36Steven Bartlett?

  And so twenty five year old Steve, upon achieving the things he had set out to achieve, was in a position where for the first time ever, someone sent me an offer to buy my business. And on that day, I remember going on AutoTrader and Rightmove and searching for a Lamborghini and a mansion in the countryside like eighteen year old Steve had always wanted. And twenty five year old Steve looked at those things and thought, what a stupid idea and logged off. And so that sent me on a bit of a journey to find out exactly why I started all of this in the first place. And I I built business in the first place. There's a reason there, but I just was confused. There's a reason why I jump out of bed and love my job and drive and and, you know, I'm so motivated every day.

• 6:21Steven Bartlett?

  But I think I still hadn't clarified that to myself because eighteen year old Steve had set out the objective, which was Lamborghinis and mansions. And so that sent me on a journey to figure out my purpose and I did that last week. But what I wanted to just close off on this week and what I wanted to sort of be the the nail in this coffin or the last sort of comment I make on this topic is trying to understand why eighteen year old Steve valued those things. Because many of you listening now, I think probably um also value material things. Um, especially if you don't have them and especially if you don't have the means right now to get them. And so what I'm hoping to do is by touching on this topic is basically correct you.

• 7:05Steven Bartlett?

  Um, so that you don't have to make the mistake that I made for many, many years. And so it got me thinking, it got me really, really thinking about the relationship money plays in happiness. And I wanted to understand, A, what role money plays in happiness, but how do you make yourself happy? And so this week I started thinking and thinking and thinking and reading documentaries and listening to everything I could possibly be listening to. And I arrived at my own conclusion, mainly from listening to Lady Gaga, Russell Brand, talk about their own journey to wanting money and fame, getting it and realising that there was no happiness in that. And here's what I believe.

• 7:45Steven Bartlett?

  And this is kind of inspired by a friend I have, and this friend, who will remain unnamed because there's no need to roast him. Um, he's.

• 7:55Steven Bartlett?

  Addicted to buying stuff, okay? Every time I see him, which is once in a while in London, probably every other month in London. He has a brand new sports car parked outside. Um, and I ask him where the other sports car went and he tells me that he got a new one because there was a better one available and. Then I'll ask him again next time and he bought a new one because there was a better one available and then I'll ask him again and he bought. It's this horrible spiral and from afar before I knew this guy, I used to watch his Instagram and his Snapchat and I used to think, fuck. That guy must be so happy. Because that's kind of the dream you're sold when you log into any social channel is that. Opulence and wealth equals the good life and the good life equals happiness. That's wrong.

• 8:40Steven Bartlett?

  And this is what you come to realise, I think, is that money equals pleasure. And pleasure is like heroin. If you have a lovely steak today. Tomorrow, in order to reach the same height of pleasure, you're going to need to have an even better steak. And eventually it gets to the point where, in the case of my friend. There's not really any more pleasure you can buy. You can't top eating at the best restaurant in the world. You can't top having the best car in the world. And so what happens is. These people become pleasure addicts and this is the trap I nearly fell into.

• 9:25Steven Bartlett?

  Had I gone and bought a Lamborghini when I had the means to. I would have become a pleasure addict, just like my friend. And there's a great book I read called The Guide to a Simple Life, which talks about the sort of real human psychology behind. Um, this, this thing called hedonistic adaptation, which is our pursuit to attain new things. Then when we get them, we get bored, so we have to go after something bigger, better and shinier. And then we get that and get bored and then we just continue doing that. And you never ever reach an end point. It's a constant battle, like with heroin addict, to beat the, the next sort of rush. And so what I realised upon sort of further contemplation is that nobody listening to this podcast right now.

• 10:11Steven Bartlett?

  Actually wants to be a millionaire, not one of you. Nobody wants a sports car. Nobody wants a mansion.

• 10:21Steven Bartlett?

  What we want is what we believe those things are gonna do for us. We want to feel how we think those things are gonna make us feel. Because we believe that those things are gonna make us happy. So really, what we want is to be happy. And this is, in my opinion, the mistake ninety five, ninety nine percent of us make in life, including eighteen year old Steve. We'd confused pleasure with happiness. Pleasure is short-lived. Pleasure is fleeting. Pleasure lasts a few days if you're lucky, maybe a week if you're really, really lucky. Happiness is a constant. Happiness to me is a feeling of contentment and fulfillment.

• 11:02Steven Bartlett?

  And you cannot be wanting for something. You cannot believe that your happiness will be dead sort of dictated by the attainment of something in your future, whether that's a girlfriend, a boyfriend, fame, whatever it is, and be happy at the same time. What I'm saying is you can't be grateful and searching for pleasure at the same time. And, you know, so that's, that's, that's what I'd done. Eighteen year old Steve had confused pleasure with happiness. And he'd gone off after pleasure, thinking that the more pleasure I got, the happier I would be. Um, and really the danger I faced was I would become a pleasure addict. And there's nothing worse than being a pleasure addict. So here's my conclusion. Here's how I believe now, as of this week,

• 11:46Steven Bartlett?

  we attain happiness in our lives. I think happiness comes from the perspective we have on who we already are, what we already own, and the people we already have around us. I think if your perspective is grateful and you are happy with who you are, you are happy with the shoes you have, you are happy with the friends you have, and the circles you mingle in, the parties you go to, then I think you'll be happy. I think it's impossible to be grateful and wanting for something at the same time. How can you be? And so really, the key to happiness is to be grateful for everything you have now, no matter how little or much that is perceived to be.

• 12:30Steven Bartlett?

  If you wanna be a millionaire, I think you have to decide on it. And when I say millionaire, I mean a millionaire in terms of the happiness you thought you were gonna get. So if you wanna be a millionaire, you don't have to earn anything, you don't have to chase anything or buy anything or save up any type of money. You just have to decide on it. You have to decide that you're grateful for everything you are now. And isn't it a bit of a weird thought for me to just tell you that maybe everything you are now and everything you own is enough? Because we all are on this weird journey of pursuit for more. And that's the the journey of a pleasure addict. What if I told you that everything you have now is enough? That's what I've been telling myself.

• 13:13Steven Bartlett?

  And I, interestingly, also believe that when you start to execute gratitude and you become grateful for what you already have, it grows. That's the funny thing. If I become grateful for the amount of money I have in my bank account right now, it will grow. Because I'll start saving it and appreciating it a little bit more and maybe investing it, not spending it on Dom Perignon in nightclubs with people that I don't even know, like I used to. If I start executing gratitude on my relationships, they will grow. Because I'll be a better friend, I'll be a better son to my mum. So I think not only will you attain happiness, but those things will actually grow. Um, happiness is a very binary choice.

• 13:57Steven Bartlett?

  Uh, you either are or you aren't. And you can't be grateful and wanting at the same time. That for me is the conclusion I needed and I had to share that conclusion with you. And from here on out, all I hope is I'm able to be grateful. I'm gonna make a conscious effort to just be grateful for what I have now. Um, and I hope you can.

• 14:17Steven Bartlett?

  Running a small business can feel a lot like being alone at sea. And too often, you're not steering the ship yourself. You're getting dragged underneath all of the admin, things like offer letters, onboarding, wages, payroll, filing taxes and health insurance.

• 14:33Steven Bartlett?

  And that's where our sponsor Gusto helps. They help you break free of all of this clutter and all of this admin work and all of this headache. Gusto is an online payroll and benefit software built for small businesses, just like some of you. It's an all-in-one, remote, friendly and incredibly easy to use platform so that you can pay, hire, onboard and support your team from anywhere in the world. That way, you can channel all of your energy into growing your business rather than just keeping your head above water, which is a feeling I know very, very well. Try Gusto today at gusto.com/diary and get three months free when you run up your first payroll through Gusto. That's three months of free payroll at gusto.com/diary. That's gusto.com/diary.

• 15:13Speaker 01

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• 15:41Steven Bartlett?

  Point two.

• 15:47Steven Bartlett?

  Okay, so point two in my diary is slightly left field. This is what I've written down. I've written "people leaving and letting people go." And here's what I mean. So we, Social Chain now employs over 150 people and sometimes people leave. And also, sometimes we have to let people go. And I wanted to share a bit of my journey to understanding what these two things meant and dealing with them because I struggled with both of them. On the side of people leaving, I used to take it so incredibly personally. I used to, because it was so closely connected to my ego. If someone told me they wanted to leave

• 16:29Steven Bartlett?

  Social Chain, I think I would make excuses as to why they wanted to leave. I would try and sort of attribute it to external factors beyond my control. And I thought that Social Chain, because we'd tried so hard to make it this way, was the greatest place to work on the planet. And I still believe that. But I've come to learn something else and I've come to not take it so personally. And that is that... When you create a business, there are some things which you can't compromise. These things are, I guess, your culture, your values, your objectives. We're able to be flexible on a lot of other things and create a tailored experience to the people we have. But those things you cannot compromise on.

• 17:10Steven Bartlett?

  And because you can't compromise those things, you create an environment where not everybody will suit your culture. Not everybody will espouse your values and not everybody will share your objectives with their personal objectives. And so sometimes you have to part ways. And back in the day, I remember a guy, one of our original team members called Nick, who now works on Team Ten. Some of you guys will know him. When he told me, when I heard that he was leaving for Team Ten, I think I took it pretty personally. And I regret the way that I responded, or I know, I regret the way I felt. Because I think in some respects, I I tried to fight it to some level.

• 17:54Steven Bartlett?

  Or I tried to control the situation a little bit mu- too much, when I really should have just, you know, let him go with much more class and professionalism. And to be honest, when Nick told me he was going, I did fully support him. I I told him immediately, you've made the right decision, et cetera, et cetera. But I think somewhere deep within me, if I really, really look at it, I also took it quite personally. And I did for the first few people that told me they were leaving. And I think that's because I was trying to control the situation. Someone once said to me, you can't find peace in the midst of struggle for control. And I think that's important. I think we try and control people so much in our lives, whether that's romantic partners or colleagues or, you know, employees, whatever it is.

• 18:38Steven Bartlett?

  And that's what I was trying to do. I was trying to control that situation. Um, I think I resented the situation a little bit.

• 18:47Steven Bartlett?

  And I've realised that you always lose, you always lose when you hold resentment. And this kind of like links to a point about forgiveness forgiveness that I wanted to, I'll sort of divert slightly and I'll come back to this point, but. Someone once told me that forgiveness is letting a prisoner go and realising that the prisoner was you the whole time. I'll just repeat that. Someone once told me that forgiveness is letting a prisoner go and in doing so, realising that the prisoner was you the whole time. So many of us walk around with resentment and grudges and negative feelings and. When you run a business where you are guaranteed bullshit regardless, the last thing you need to do is carry round.

• 19:27Steven Bartlett?

  Bullshit and resentment and grudges and negativity from the past because you're gonna fucking overdose if you do that, right? And so this quote told me a very, very, uh, taught me a very, very valuable lesson, which is. When you hold negativity within you towards somebody, towards a situation.

• 19:45Steven Bartlett?

  It weighs you down and it sits in your head. And the only way to find your peace is to let that prisoner go. And as you see him running off into the distance, you realise that the prisoner was only yourself, not the other person. Because if they held no grudges, they held no negativity. Um, and so, yeah, going back to my point. There are key things we cannot compromise on, which are our cultures, our values, our objectives, and. If someone doesn't suit those things, as a CEO, I would be disrespecting everybody else that's brought into our cultures, our values, our objectives. By trying to change these things to suit a person. And if you compromise these things, if you compromise your culture, your values and your objectives, you have none.

• 20:30Steven Bartlett?

  They immediately become completely pointless. Um, because these are the very sort of staple things that your business needs to have its own, to be defined, right? Um, and that's, that's the journey I've been on. And so now. When someone tells me that they're leaving, which doesn't happen often, to be completely honest, I think. Versus every other company that has employed probably two hundred people in total. Um, not, not all of them are still within our team now, but. I think we have a very, very low rate of people leaving. That's, that's my opinion because Social Chain is such a wonderful place. For anyone that doesn't know, we, you know, you have unlimited holidays and working hours and uh, not unlimited working hours, of course not unlimited working hours. You have,

• 21:12Steven Bartlett?

  you know, limited working hours. You have um, a bar in the office, you have food, you have great team members that are all young and you have autonomy and these kinds of things. But regardless, people are still gonna go because the experience we provide has to be held to those three things, culture, values and objectives, and we can't compromise. And now I'm much better at accepting it. And whenever someone tells me, the most important thing is I genuinely don't take it personally. I of course always wanna understand the why, because I wanna see if we can do anything better. But I also understand that everybody has their own journey and I just wanna support them. And I also now get a bit of excitement from seeing what they do next because I feel so connected to them. And lastly, I feel a tremendous amount of gratitude towards them

• 21:57Steven Bartlett?

  for the time they've given us, the, the laughs, the jokes, the love and and that's, and that's that. And that's a genuine feeling. Um. And I'm so grateful I've come to that point because now it means I maintain great relationships with people when they part, when they move on to their next journey. Um, yeah. And the, the last point, which is a little bit more contentious, is about letting people go. And this is when you have to fire someone from the company because of whatever reason. This is the single hardest part of my job. I still haven't figured out how to fully deal with this. I'm trying my best. Um.

• 22:37Steven Bartlett?

  I remember the first time I had to do it and the guy had been with us for several, several months. He was very, very dependent on the job. In fact, he told me that he was the sole provider for his whole family. His dad had a disability, his brother couldn't work because he was disabled. And so the job at Social Chain was the only source of income he had. And knowing that.

• 23:04Steven Bartlett?

  Obviously made my first experience incredibly tough and I, oh god, I thought about it, I pondered it, I took it home. And the thing that was most liberating was me telling myself that if I didn't make this short term tough decision to let this person go. I would have to make an even tougher long term decision, which is standing in front of the whole team and letting them know that because I wasn't courageous or, you know, focused enough to make tough short term decisions. The whole company has to end because I let the company get to a point where it had fallen into, you know,

• 23:45Steven Bartlett?

  financial difficulty or, you know, you know, there would have been a revolution because the culture had been destroyed. And so that's the decision you have to make as a CEO. It's your job to protect the company and to protect the people. And sometimes you have to make short term tough decisions to prevent yourself from making a long term, much tougher one, which is telling the company it's over because Steve Bartlett couldn't be tough. Um, letting my friends go has been the single hardest thing I think I've done in my life. Um, letting people go that I have strong personal friendships with outside of work is something I will never figure out. And almost because of the amount I care, I don't think I'll ever figure out. Uh, you know, it's incredibly hard. It's incredibly hard, but you have to remember

• 24:30Steven Bartlett?

  that the most important thing and the reason why you're here every day is to respect and to progress the efforts of everybody else in the team who has given everything. Um, and yourself. I, I honestly, I, I remember having a conversation with myself one day when I had to let a friend go. And I remember telling myself that I was disrespecting all of the hard work my mum and dad put in. All of the the sleepless nights they had with me, if I allowed this continue to continue, that's how deep I took it in my head. I was disrespecting Hannah Anderson, who works in the media team,

• 25:14Steven Bartlett?

  her parents and the bet they took on social chain when they allowed her to come here and and work here. And when I think about it that way, it it actually becomes quite a straightforward thing to do, but never easy. And I struggle with it completely. I I hate it, but I also know I have to do it. I never avoid it. So, yeah.

• 25:37Steven Bartlett?

  Okay, so the next point in my diary is, again, totally left field. It's about philanthropy. And this is something that I've thought a lot about over the last couple of years. And this week, it was kind of returned to my conscience because of a very, very amazing young lady in our office called Bethany. And Bethany, at the moment, is raising, she's raised money for charity, but she's also sending a hundred and twenty shoeboxes to the Gambia. And this week, she inspired me and she rallied the office into pulling together these amazing shoeboxes, which have gone out to children in the Gambia, which honestly fills my heart with joy because I know how much these boxes will mean to kids out there.

• 26:20Steven Bartlett?

  I've been out to various places in Africa over the last couple of years. And I remember going to one orphanage in particular where the kids require four hundred dollars. And that'll take them from being a two year old to an eighteen year old and pay for their whole education along the way. If they don't get that four hundred dollars, then they won't be educated and they'll be basically kicked out on the streets. And so the point is, one of the debates I've had within myself over the last couple of years is this. I'm going to try and articulate this as well as I possibly can. I know that with the skills I have when it comes to people skills and business and projects and, you know,

• 27:01Steven Bartlett?

  ambition and all these skills, that had I put those skills to saving lives when I was eighteen years old, instead of building a business?

• 27:14Steven Bartlett?

  Could I have saved lives? And my answer is, of course I could have, right? Could I have saved ten lives, a hundred lives, a thousand lives out in that part of the world where kids really, really, really need support and help? And so my answer is, yes, I could have. If that's what I'd been doing for the last five or six years. What I've been doing for the last five or six years essentially is building a company, a great company that obviously has had a a very positive impact for all the reasons I stated in chapter one. Because we've developed young people, we've given them opportunities they wouldn't have otherwise had, um, including myself. Um, but I I've always had this sort of like moral question. What would have been a better use of time? And it's something I've struggled with.

• 27:59Steven Bartlett?

  Had I committed the last five or six years to my life, of my life, to just saving people's lives in third world countries where they need um nutrition and they need clean water and these kinds of things.

• 28:12Steven Bartlett?

  What would have been a more worthwhile journey? And I I used to say when I was eighteen years old, I used to tell all of my friends that at some point in my life, I'm gonna stop what I'm doing, I'm gonna get up and I'm just gonna go. And I'm gonna go and help young kids and young people and people in Africa and around the world. Obviously, I'm from, I was born in Africa, I was born in Botswana, just near South Africa. So, you know, and my mum's Nigerian, my dad's English. I have an affinity to to the the plight of the African because of that, as we all do for whatever reason. But I also have a a strong affinity to anyone that's suffering around the world. And so because being an entrepreneur and a business person is seen as being, I guess, a very selfish thing.

• 28:53Steven Bartlett?

  It's seen as being a pursuit for like um self, you know, you like trying to get as much money as you possibly can, basically. Trying to make yourself rich. It almost in the stereotype acts as a direct opposite to philanthropy and selflessness, right? People think being an entrepreneur or a CEO, it's got this such sort of negative connotation around it because of like greedy bankers and all all of these kinds of things. So that's the struggle I've had over the last couple of years in terms of my personal sort of moral compass. What, you know, would have been a more worthwhile journey? And here's the conclusion I've arrived at. Um, and this is something I do believe in.

• 29:35Steven Bartlett?

  So I'm not saying this, and I had to double check, I wasn't just saying this to make myself feel better. I had to double check that this was the truth, and here's what I believe is the truth.

• 29:44Steven Bartlett?

  In order to help other people, you must first, or it's at least easier to first help yourself. And when I was an eighteen year old kid living in Moss Side, um, which for any of you that know is a terrible fucking area. Um, with relative poverty and a lot of crime.

• 30:04Steven Bartlett?

  I had no money, I couldn't feed myself. And so to think that I would have been able to help a large amount of people in another part of the world is probably um unrealistic at best, but probably wouldn't have happened. Um, and even the, you know, the, the, the ambitious self believer within me likes to think, you know, you would have been able to help at least somebody. But it wouldn't have been a huge amount of people at least. By focusing the last six years, let's say, on myself, on developing my skills, on developing my sales ability, developing my understanding of how the world works, my political understanding, becoming more sort of worldly, let's say.

• 30:45Steven Bartlett?

  Oh, that's the first time I've used that word worldly. Um, I'm now much better placed to add a tremendous amount of value to, to that part of the world. And also I've managed to build up a little bit of influence amongst like my own personal platforms and my social media channels and um around myself. So I would be much better placed now to help those people because I focused on myself first. And I think that's an important message to give to any young people that have a burning desire to have a great impact on the world. I believe that the first person you've got to develop, if you want to develop or help anybody else, is yourself. Um, and by the age of forty or fifty, with the things I would have managed to learn,

• 31:29Steven Bartlett?

  what I would have achieved, the contacts I would have made, my understanding of how business in the world works will leave me much better place to help hundreds of thousands of people, if everything goes to plan, um, than I ever would have been had I started at eighteen years old, um, just knocking on doors. There's a reason why the, the most successful people in the world, when they turn their hand to philanthropy, um, can have an amazing impact. Let's use Bill Gates as an example. Here is a, here is a guy who built Microsoft, a huge, huge company, got himself to be tremendously wealthy. Um, and then was literally able to cure diseases single handedly because he did that. And continues to attribute sort of like.

• 32:09Steven Bartlett?

  All of his um his personal wealth to contribute, all of his wealth to helping causes around the world.

• 32:17Steven Bartlett?

  And that's what I believe. So I believe that a time in my life will come for philanthropy. I don't know when it will be, but um.

• 32:25Steven Bartlett?

  I'm doing I'm doing the right thing at the moment by working on myself first.

• 32:34Steven Bartlett?

  Okay, so the next point in my diary is a very, very short one, and it's I just wrote in my diary, weird wins. And what I mean by this, I was, I think it was Thursday this week when I wrote this in there. But I just I needed to write this down somewhere because I think there's a thought in it. My point was that people who operate differently get different results. And I remember when when I started vlogging and people used to stare at me when I walked down the street. And I used to feel their sort of judgment and their their eyeballs on me, and it it almost compelled me to just put my camera back in my pocket. But in that moment, I remember reminding myself that the reason they're staring at me is because I'm doing something unusual. I'm doing something that

• 33:17Steven Bartlett?

  most people don't do. And when I think about all the people that have been able to change the world or achieve unusual results, they started with unusual actions. You think about, you know, Steve Jobs, building small computers in his car when um everyone else was out partying with their friends and, you know, doing those kinds of usual things. So Steve Jobs went on to get unusual results. You think about all of the great um pioneers in this world, the greatest pianist in the world, the greatest football players in the world. They spent their time practicing, doing weird things, right? Unusual things. And it's only those that do

• 33:59Steven Bartlett?

  the exceptional things or the unusual things that get the exceptional results. They are exclusively reserved for those taking exceptional actions. Um, and I just wanted to share that with you. It was a very short point. Um, and I I'm trying to.

• 34:18Steven Bartlett?

  I think by doing that, remind myself that whenever you do something which is unusual, whether it's working very, very, very late and hard, whether it's um walking down the street, walking through an airport, holding a camera and talking to yourself, whether it's um what you did when you were eighteen years old, where you literally trapped yourself in a room for what I can only describe as three years, trying to build a a website. All of those moments of apparent being differentness resulted ultimately in a different type of result. And the crazy thing is, at the mo- at that moment, when you're doing that unusual thing, where you're, you know, whatever it is, people try as hard as they

• 35:00Steven Bartlett?

  possibly can to bring you back to normal. They judge you, they condemn you sometime, you know, they they they tear you down at times, they talk badly behind your back, as they did to me when I was first starting out, and I spent a lot of time in my room when I was a student. Um but eventually, when you come out the other side, the really interesting thing is, they ask you how you did it. And I I'll never forget Hannah, this girl who I went to university with, who used to make weird comments to me about what I was doing. So I would be working late, or I'd be like scribbling on a piece of cardboard about my business idea, and I'd be talking about it all the time. And she always gave

• 35:44Steven Bartlett?

  me funny looks and always kind of like passed judgment on me, which at times was pretty hurtful, to be honest. Um but then, fast forward three years, I remember Hannah coming up to me and asking me how I did it. And I and I almost wanted to say to her, it was that moment where you judged me, and it was that moment where I was a weirdo, that's what's brought me here. That's why you want to work for me now, you know, and so. My advice to you is twofold, embrace weirdness and unusual actions because weird wins, right? You're you're probably not going to get extraordinary results from conforming to the ordinary. And the second point, I think, is more about effort, hard work and comfort zones is that I implore

• 36:28Steven Bartlett?

  everybody to struggle on purpose. Because just like muscle fibre, I believe that the human being only grows when he or she hurts. And you know, the way we've been conditioned is the minute we struggle or we feel stress or pain, you know, we're told to relax and to stop. But I honestly believe it's all of my, you know, anything I've managed to achieve in my life has come as a direct result of enduring struggle. So my honest advice to anybody who's going through anything which feels tough, which feels stressful, which, you know, which feels like they just want to run back to comfort and their comfort zone is to keep struggling on purpose because this is the only place, struggle is the only place we grow.

• 37:12Steven Bartlett?

  Someone, someone also, I remember a couple of years back said to me in the moment in my journey, which was toughest, they said, the best view comes after the hardest climb. So cheesy, I know, and I hate quotes where, you know, like this, but there's real truth in that. The best view comes after the hardest climb.

• 37:36Steven Bartlett?

  Okay, so the next point in my diary is even shorter. And it's about meditation. So the crazy thing is, I was a skeptic of meditation. I always have been, I always think, you know, what a load of rubbish, sitting in a room and being quiet. How is that going to help me? I also think I struggled with it because my head is non-stop. As I described in chapter one, my head is always ticking. There's a million things whirling around and this is why, for instance, I can't sleep without the TV on because I need the the sort of mental distraction. And I also saw meditation as a bit of a fluffy, like, you know, a thing for girls and a bit of a fad, like all these other sort of like spiritual fads. And so I always dismissed it, I thought it was a load of shit.

• 38:22Steven Bartlett?

  I've had a bit of a change in that, I've had a little bit of a change in that. And that change started with me being open to the idea of meditation. And really trying to understand how it could be helping me.

• 38:37Steven Bartlett?

  Um. I think there was, I think there's a famous Chinese philosopher called Tao Chiu, who said, if you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. And often in my world, when we're thinking about big challenges we have ahead of us, we get quite, I would describe it as anxiousness. And that anxiousness you take at home and it feels, you know, you feel the weight of it, whether it's a strategic business decision or there's a tough call you've got to make, you feel that. And I spend a lot of time thinking about those things. And when I told you last week that my girlfriend used to tell me that she was lonely sat next to me.

• 39:21Steven Bartlett?

  It was because I was within my head and I was thinking about the past, I was thinking about the future too much. And I struggled to be present. I've always struggled to be present. I can literally remember a time I was on holiday with my ex-girlfriend and we were on a jet ski. And I couldn't wait to get off the jet ski because my head was thinking about business and work and um my emails and I hadn't been on the internet because this was a two-hour jet ski ride. And I just couldn't be present. And so I didn't enjoy the moment. In fact, with my ex-girlfriend, I never really fully enjoyed the holidays, even though we're in the best places in the world, because I couldn't be in the moment. I, and when I, when I say this, I really mean it.

• 40:03Steven Bartlett?

  I, I don't like holidays because I don't like being away. I cannot enjoy myself. It's like, it sounds pretty terrible and I kind of think it is. I've really, really struggled with that. And so I, I'd heard something about meditation and, you know, I downloaded an app at one point and I tried that. And then about two or three days ago, I really, really tried to, because I felt myself thinking too much about the future and too much about the past. Well, more about the future to be honest, but um I sat in my hot tub in my apartment and I just looked at the leaves. And I just, for a second, I just tried to focus on the leaves.

• 40:47Steven Bartlett?

  And it was about two AM in the morning, completely dark. I'm just watching the leaves move in the wind. And then I started thinking about the future and the past and the business and all these kinds of things all rushed back into my head and I stopped myself. And I focused back on the leaves. And I just watched the leaves moving in the wind. This sounds so corny, but I don't care because it's the truth. Um, I watched the leaves just like flowing in the wind and I felt the wind blowing on me and I felt peaceful.

• 41:16Steven Bartlett?

  And then business started flowing back into my head and I thought about the past, the future, and all these tough decisions that I have to make. And then I stopped myself again and I focused again just on the leaves. I took a big breath in. I let the wind sort of like I felt the wind on my skin and I relaxed and I was at peace. And in that moment of peace, I realized what Lao Tzu meant when he said, if you are depressed, you're living in the past. If you're anxious, you're living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. And I believe meditation has great values, especially for busy minds and CEOs and entrepreneurs and managers, and anybody that's working really, really hard at just allowing you to be present. And the last point in my diary is about my relationship status. This week it changed.

• 42:00Steven Bartlett?

  Um, last week I told you guys I was dating someone that lives in America. That has ended now. And much of the reason why that's ended is because I again was unable to communicate, focus, give attention to um, this person because you know, the way that I am is, you know, I can make someone feel lonely sat next to me, let alone five thousand miles away. And so that's what happened. And eventually I I I told her that we were better as friends, which I which I do believe to be true. The way I am is I think I'm either a hundred percent or I'm zero. There's no eighty percent. There's no ninety five percent. And upon me realizing that I'm ninety five percent about somebody, I go to zero percent. And I think that's what

• 42:42Steven Bartlett?

  I did. Um, because I'm so concerned with the use of my time, this sounds so incredibly creepy and a little bit crazy. The minute I realized that there's no chance of me marrying somebody.

• 42:59Steven Bartlett?

  There's no chance of me marrying them, not even one percent chance of me marrying them. I end it because it just becomes a waste of my time. I don't have time to do small talk every day. I don't feel like I have time to call you up and say, hey, how's it going, et cetera, et cetera. So if I think that we we reach a point where I believe we don't fit anymore, we go to zero. And and I guess, you know, there's two ways to look at this. I might just be incredibly picky and I might be screwing myself over and throwing away good people. Or I might be incredibly time efficient in getting to the right person. Who knows? I guess we'll find out in the end. I do struggle to understand how anybody could date Steven Bartlett. I really don't understand that or why anyone would want to.

• 43:42Steven Bartlett?

  Uh, I'm incredibly selfish with my time when it comes to relationships. I'm incredibly selfish with my attention and my, you know, all these kinds of things. I find it hard to compromise. Uh, uh, uh, because I'm so stubborn and unapologetic about my vision and my business and my and my professional life. And so the experience is a bit shit. But even when I'm, as my ex girlfriend told me, even when I'm sat with you, I'm a million miles away. So I don't know why anyone would want to date me. Fortunately, I'm happy on my own. And um, when I said I was lonely in last week's podcast, I it is lonely. I don't feel a sense of loneliness, but it's a lonely experience, right?

• 44:26Steven Bartlett?

  And I think there's a big distinction between the two because I had a lot of messages from people who were concerned that I was lonely. I want to make that distinction crystal clear. Being an entrepreneur and a CEO is lonely because there's so much of it you do on your own. It's not a lonely feeling I have. I don't feel lonely. I feel so happy. I've always felt the same way. Deep down within me, I've, and this is why I said at the start of this chapter, that happiness was a constant. I've always felt content and happy with who I am and what I'm doing. Um, obviously I mistake, mistake, mistook that for pleasure, but I'm happy and I'm happy alone. Um, and I think in some respects, people that are happiest alone are also the most stable people to be in relationships with.

• 45:08Steven Bartlett?

  Because kind of linking back to we said at the start, they're not looking for anybody else to make them happy. And I'm certainly not looking for anybody else to make me happy. I'm happy now. Yeah, I'll keep you updated. Thank you so much for listening to chapter two of the CEO Diaries. I've really, really enjoyed this therapeutic experience this week. It's been a bit of a journey in my head and I've really sort of learnt a few things just by thinking out loud. And I hope at least one of you has learnt one thing too, that'll make it all worthwhile for me. Please leave a review in the podcast or that's kind of how I gauge what you guys think and what you want me to do differently and all those kinds of things. Subscribe if you can as well. And I'll be back again next Sunday. And in the meantime, remember, let's keep this between me and you.

• 46:05Steven Bartlett?

  Running a small business can feel a lot like being alone at sea. And too often, you're not steering the ship yourself. You're getting dragged underneath all of the admin, things like offer letters, onboarding, wages, payroll, filing taxes and health insurance.

• 46:21Steven Bartlett?

  And that's where our sponsor Gusto helps. They help you break free of all of this clutter and all of this admin work and all of this headache. Gusto is an online payroll and benefit software built for small businesses, just like some of you. It's an all in one, remote, friendly, and incredibly easy to use platform, so that you can pay, hire, onboard and support your team from anywhere in the world. That way, you can channel all of your energy into growing your business, rather than just keeping your head above water, which is a feeling I know very, very well. Try Gusto today at gusto.com/diary and get three months free when you run your first payroll through Gusto. That's three months of free payroll at gusto.com/diary. That's gusto.com/diary. If you're running a business, people have probably told you to

• 47:04Steven Bartlett?

  use AI or get left behind. And I get that urgency. Still, AI doesn't fix a messy business, it exposes one, because AI can only work with the information it can see. So if you ask AI something about your business, about stock or sales or customers or about your team, that information needs to be connected to the AI to be useful. That's the idea behind NetSuite by Oracle, the sponsor of this episode. NetSuite is the AI-powered business Management Suite that securely connects your financials, your inventory, your commerce, your HR and your CRM into a single source of truth. And with NetSuite Next, AI is built into that connected system. It can surface useful insights, help with routine work and let you ask questions about your business in plain English.

• 47:45Steven Bartlett?

  For the first time ever, you can try NetSuite Next for free if your business is generating seven figures or more. Just go to netsuite.ai/bartlett. That's netsuite.ai/bartlett.

• 48:01Speaker 02

  This episode is sponsored by Asana.

• 48:03Steven Bartlett?

  Let me admit something to you. I'm a little bit messy. I have got ADHD and sometimes I forget things. I'll put something in Google Drive. I'll put something on my desktop. It's all over the shop and I can't imagine how much that is costing me as an entrepreneur or as a creative. I never thought of this as a project management problem. I just thought of it as a me problem. So let me give you a window into my fiancee Melanie and how she operates. She's running a business and she doesn't rely on remembering everything. She creates systems that means she doesn't have to. And one system she's made for her business is that when people attend her retreats and they get automated itineraries and they get packs sent to them automatically after the retreat, all thanks to Asana. So if you're someone who constantly feels like you need to be better, more organised, maybe ask yourself a different question. Is it actually you that needs to change or is it the way that you're working?

• 48:47Speaker 02

  Asana has always been great at organising work and breaking down projects into tasks. Now you can assign those tasks to AI teammates. These are agents that already understand your work and keep things moving without you having to chase, check or remember. When something needs a real decision, it comes back to you. Asana is the operating system for human agent teams. So less falls through the cracks and less has to live in your head. Try it at asana.com. A S A N A dot com.