Ep 639 - The E.C.B.S. (feat. SWIM)

Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/ hello. Good morning. TGIF. Hope you all had a good week. We have a hot cast for you this morning. It's a Brotherly affair. We got SWIM in the MattCave to talk about his big move out west. Please enjoy. God Bless. I hope you all have a nice weekend. This video is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/MSSP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Wow, wow, Wes.

• 0:01Matt McCusker?

  Welcome to the podcast. Welcome. Two in one week. Wow. Oh, Jesus Christ. Almost fell. Scratch that from the record. Two in one week. What up, bro?

• 0:12Speaker 00

  Not much, dude.

• 0:13Matt McCusker?

  You what?

• 0:14Speaker 00

  Just landed.

• 0:14Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I know.

• 0:15Speaker 00

  Few days ago.

• 0:15Matt McCusker?

  Crazy journey.

• 0:16Speaker 00

  It was a wild.

• 0:17Matt McCusker?

  What was that, two day?

• 0:18Speaker 00

  Two 14 hour days.

• 0:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeesh.

• 0:21Speaker 00

  With a squad.

• 0:22Matt McCusker?

  That was the whack pack for sure.

• 0:24Speaker 00

  It was the ultimate whack pack.

• 0:26Matt McCusker?

  Dude, yeah.

• 0:27Speaker 00

  Ultimate special interest. Whack pack.

• 0:31Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, my, my parents helped move them down. They did two cars.

• 0:35Speaker 00

  No, we did one Chevy Sonic.

• 0:37Matt McCusker?

  One Chevy Sonic.

• 0:38Speaker 00

  Loaded with snakes, reptiles and San Pedro cactus.

• 0:44Matt McCusker?

  And a tarantula.

• 0:45Speaker 00

  And a tarantula.

• 0:45Matt McCusker?

  And an arachnid.

• 0:46Speaker 00

  Arachnid. So it was, that was a corn snake, a python, a tarantula, a bearded dragon and a leopard gecko.

• 0:53Matt McCusker?

  Heard that leopard gecko gets ornery if he doesn't eat.

• 0:55Speaker 00

  They all do.

• 0:56Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 0:57Speaker 00

  We had them up on the dash cruising just to get some sunlight. And then we had to the gills with Pedros.

• 1:03Matt McCusker?

  I saw the Pedros.

• 1:05Speaker 00

  Stacked. That's why I moved here.

• 1:06Matt McCusker?

  True, to grow the Pedro.

• 1:07Speaker 00

  Just to grow Pedro. And Mac moved just to give better temperatures to his.

• 1:11Matt McCusker?

  Kay for his reptiles. I saw the lizard on a leash outside. I said, that's nice.

• 1:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, they're chilling.

• 1:15Matt McCusker?

  The bearded dragons, by the way, now we'll get, we'll get to the spot, the spot of Gecko. I didn't know that thing breaks your skin. It's only a baby.

• 1:22Speaker 00

  It'll bite. They don't really bite. They're chilling now.

• 1:24Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. I got the full download. The python will bite. The bearded gecko or the, yeah, bearded geckos might be like there. I would put them on a list.

• 1:32Speaker 00

  Dragon.

• 1:33Matt McCusker?

  Bearded dragon. My bad.

• 1:33Speaker 00

  Leopard gecko.

• 1:34Matt McCusker?

  Leopard gecko. Bearded dragon. I would put that on a list of recommended pets.

• 1:38Speaker 00

  Top tier pet, dude. It's one of those things I can't live without now.

• 1:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:42Speaker 00

  When you get a dog and you're like, now I'm a dog man. Did you know that there's, there's like a subculture of no dog?

• 1:49Matt McCusker?

  Bro.

• 1:49Speaker 00

  Like there's like people that go on Reddit are no dog that like identify as I don't have a dog.

• 1:56Matt McCusker?

  Well, I, I get it. When I find it like a hardcore no dog head and they're like 60 or 70, I'm like, all right, you're grandfathered in. Their heart, like young, no dog guys, kind of, it's one thing to just like, I just don't have one.

• 2:07Speaker 00

  I just don't get it. It's like you're identifying as not having a dog.

• 2:10Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 2:11Speaker 00

  Such a wild mental thing to put on yourself. It's like, why would you live and be like, I'm a person that doesn't have, it's, you just don't have a dog. That's not an identity.

• 2:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's really weird.

• 2:21Speaker 00

  It's a, there's, I, there's no kids heads too. I think that's what started it.

• 2:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, okay.

• 2:25Speaker 00

  No, no kids heads. I understand.

• 2:27Matt McCusker?

  No kids heads. And again, I would never, I would never hate on a no kids. Cause you hear them and like the, the impulse is to be like, ah dude, I don't know. Like might be kind of sad, but I'm like, it's, it's probably chill. You do your own thing.

• 2:39Speaker 00

  There's people who chose not to have kids and I respect them. But if you're a no kids head, you're just, you want a kid and you didn't have one. Otherwise you wouldn't identify as a no, like you don't want kids. You just don't have kids.

• 2:51Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you don't have.

• 2:51Speaker 00

  That simple.

• 2:52Matt McCusker?

  Never think about it.

• 2:53Speaker 00

  It's like, I don't eat goat meat.

• 2:56Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 2:56Speaker 00

  I never think about the shit. I don't identify as a non goat meat eater.

• 3:00Matt McCusker?

  You don't watch people, someone eat goat meat. You're like, thank God I didn't.

• 3:02Speaker 00

  But like couples that don't have kids are like, they want, he's like, you guys want kids. Otherwise you wouldn't be honoring the negative so heavily.

• 3:10Matt McCusker?

  That's true. It's like saying you're not gay all the time.

• 3:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:13Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. You're probably gay.

• 3:16Matt McCusker?

  Which is for every guy. No, that's every guy. Every guy.

• 3:20Speaker 00

  No, there's dudes that are like staunchly, I'm not gay heads.

• 3:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I know what you mean.

• 3:23Speaker 00

  Chill.

• 3:24Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 3:25Speaker 00

  Like I'm not gay and I never think about the fact that I'm not.

• 3:27Matt McCusker?

  I, I think we can all agree that every guy is gay and every guy wants kids.

• 3:32Speaker 00

  Pretty.

• 3:33Matt McCusker?

  If you're not, you say you're not gay, you're lying. If you say you don't want kids, you're lying.

• 3:36Speaker 00

  Now like.

• 3:38Matt McCusker?

  You pulled it up?

• 3:38Speaker 02

  I pulled up dog free humor. The very first thing that comes up is De Rosa complaining about not wanting dogs. It's just, he on Reddit. It's just.

• 3:47Matt McCusker?

  What did he say?

• 3:48Speaker 02

  I didn't love it. Like play the whole thing, but it looks like he's just.

• 3:51Matt McCusker?

  Oh, it's De Rosa.

• 3:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's just De Rosa, like top, top newest thing. Be like, fuck dogs.

• 3:56Matt McCusker?

  It's a comic we know. It's being like.

• 3:58Speaker 00

  I've seen, I've seen his work. I've seen some of his work.

• 3:59Matt McCusker?

  Seen, yeah.

• 4:00Speaker 00

  I've seen one video of him.

• 4:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he's, he's a, he would hit, I think both categories, no dogs, no kids. Which at one point it's like, that's fair, but it's like, yeah, what's the overarching, what's the quest?

• 4:11Speaker 00

  I just don't get anyone that identifies with what they're not doing. It's like, dude, you're only here for a blip of time. So why would you spend any of your time thinking about what you're not doing?

• 4:20Matt McCusker?

  True. And here's the thing.

• 4:21Speaker 00

  It's a very strange mental.

• 4:22Matt McCusker?

  I'd have more respect for them if they were to like find people with dogs and like bully their, like it's the way you like bully a pedophile.

• 4:30Speaker 00

  If you were like.

• 4:30Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. It's like, why the fuck do you bring your dog to my house? You fucking weirdo. And it started beating them up.

• 4:34Speaker 00

  I could see that. Yeah. If you objectively hated dogs.

• 4:40Matt McCusker?

  Huh?

• 4:42Speaker 02

  This guy's here to meet a three year old cocker spaniel.

• 4:46Speaker 00

  What if you like set up dog adoptions and like shame them?

• 4:50Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, right. As if I would take this piece of shit dog home. Yeah, I, um, yeah, I, I've seen that. I've seen the, uh, I've seen the celebration, but I get it. If you don't have, you don't have kids, you, you know, you're gonna like, you see people with their kids doing stuff. There, there's no way you neutrally observe that without being like, damn, I want a kid. Or if you like, can't do that, you gotta be like, that sucks.

• 5:10Speaker 00

  I like, I got hit with baby fever at like 24.

• 5:15Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 5:15Speaker 00

  And I just went reckless. Like it was just like, anyone that was nice to me, I would be like, hey, let's make love without restriction.

• 5:22Matt McCusker?

  You're like a kindergartner.

• 5:23Speaker 00

  I was dead set.

• 5:24Matt McCusker?

  Kindergartners holding down. They're like, we're gonna have a baby.

• 5:27Speaker 00

  I was playing house. Like if we dated for two weeks, we were playing house.

• 5:32Speaker 00

  And then I was like, it's what you have to do. It was ingrained in me. It was like, you're over 23. Cause I was conceived at 23. So I was like, you're 23, it's time to have a kid. And I thought not having a kid was like the scariest concept.

• 5:44Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 5:44Speaker 00

  Now, when I talk to couples that like, are like trying to have kids, I kind of want to pull them aside and be like, it's a beautiful thing, but it's not all it's cracked up to be. Like, if you would give me a magic eight ball, I might've been like, let's, let's look at all angles.

• 6:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Or, yeah.

• 6:01Speaker 00

  Like I have the opposite.

• 6:02Matt McCusker?

  Foster.

• 6:03Speaker 00

  Or father, but like I have.

• 6:04Matt McCusker?

  Run the option play.

• 6:05Speaker 00

  I'm at the point now, my kids are six and eight. I'm more afraid of getting my wife pregnant now than I was of getting her all pregnant in high school.

• 6:13Matt McCusker?

  For sure. Ah, no.

• 6:14Speaker 00

  It would legitimately ruin my life.

• 6:16Matt McCusker?

  I was terrified.

• 6:17Speaker 00

  Dude, I'm so much more scared now.

• 6:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 6:20Speaker 00

  Cause my kids are six and eight, so I'm out.

• 6:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 6:23Speaker 00

  And now we're like sliding into a world of like, dad's a weirdo, leave him alone. Like you don't need anything. Like if I went back to like, waking up and changing diapers, I might, it would ruin my life.

• 6:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, well, hey.

• 6:38Speaker 00

  I, I've moved like.

• 6:39Matt McCusker?

  You know, we all have the foresight.

• 6:42Speaker 00

  I could see it happen, but, but the only caveat, the only thing holding me back is in the heat of the moment, if my bride was like, let's have another kid.

• 6:52Matt McCusker?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 6:53Speaker 00

  I would have 10 more.

• 6:54Matt McCusker?

  Exactly.

• 6:55Speaker 00

  But like I, it's a, it's a, it's hard to fight.

• 6:58Matt McCusker?

  You're afraid of confronting that of like, do it.

• 7:01Speaker 00

  I still could fall into it.

• 7:03Matt McCusker?

  For sure.

• 7:03Speaker 00

  But I'm saying if I'm in my like waking sober, non, like non erect life.

• 7:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 7:08Speaker 00

  I'm terrified of having another kid.

• 7:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 7:13Speaker 00

  And I love my kids to pieces.

• 7:15Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. But having an.

• 7:17Speaker 00

  She was like, I'm pregnant. I would have like a senior year freak out.

• 7:22Speaker 00

  I'd have to go join the union. Like I'd have to like, I'd have to like.

• 7:28Matt McCusker?

  No, it's a, well, yeah, I, I definitely, again, I, I try to do that too. Cause when I keep, when I catch people, if I at least think I catch people being like, ah, man, I don't know. Sometimes I think I'm like, bro, you're all right.

• 7:39Speaker 00

  You're good.

• 7:40Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you're cool, dude. If you made it this far.

• 7:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:42Matt McCusker?

  Just rock out, hit the cruises, start swinging.

• 7:45Speaker 00

  Cause I.

• 7:45Matt McCusker?

  You're a lot more sexually free. If you don't have kids, you pretty much should be in an open relationship. That's the one thing though.

• 7:50Speaker 00

  What?

• 7:50Matt McCusker?

  You don't have kids, you should be a swinger.

• 7:53Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:53Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, like that's, we can just settle that right now.

• 7:55Speaker 00

  Dude, if I had a bride and we didn't have kids, we would have the wildest life.

• 8:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 8:00Speaker 00

  It would just be like, what'd you do tonight?

• 8:02Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah.

• 8:03Speaker 00

  It would be good times all around.

• 8:05Matt McCusker?

  His and her bad dragons.

• 8:09Speaker 00

  That's the other thing though, like.

• 8:11Matt McCusker?

  I have the alien shit, dude.

• 8:14Speaker 00

  It would be a world of kink. You couldn't even comp. It'd be, it would, it would break the heterosexual mindset into a million pieces.

• 8:22Matt McCusker?

  Who's that guy? Marquise. This episode is brought to you by Viori.

• 8:27Speaker 03

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• 8:33Matt McCusker?

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• 9:00Matt McCusker?

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• 9:42Matt McCusker?

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• 10:00Speaker 00

  Isad?

• 10:01Matt McCusker?

  Marquise Isad, he's a statist. I don't identify.

• 10:03Speaker 00

  You don't fuck with Marquise Isad?

• 10:04Matt McCusker?

  He's the, the farthest you can take.

• 10:08Speaker 00

  That's I'm not with that because he incorporates violence into his love.

• 10:11Matt McCusker?

  Does he really?

• 10:12Speaker 00

  That's what the term sadist comes from.

• 10:13Matt McCusker?

  Marquise. Marquise. Yeah, you I looked into him a little bit.

• 10:16Speaker 00

  That's an element I can't get.

• 10:17Matt McCusker?

  What year was he around? Do you remember?

• 10:19Speaker 00

  I have no idea.

• 10:19Matt McCusker?

  Look up.

• 10:20Speaker 00

  If it's pre nineteen eighty, I have no fuck.

• 10:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 10:22Speaker 00

  I can identify shit up to like nineteen fifty nine, like Elvis coming out is as far back as I can nail a date down.

• 10:28Matt McCusker?

  Well, it's also funny because that he was like an old lord, basically. He was like a medieval lord, I think.

• 10:34Speaker 00

  He was like in a very repressive time. So when he like found his sexual liberation, he kind of threw the baby out with the bath.

• 10:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, the pendulum swung too far.

• 10:41Speaker 00

  It swung too far back and we've kind of come back to it as it does.

• 10:44Matt McCusker?

  True, true. What does it say about the Marquise?

• 10:48Speaker 00

  He was a freak bull.

• 10:50Speaker 04

  He was born in seventeen forty, died in eighteen fourteen.

• 10:53Matt McCusker?

  I think he was an enlightenment. He was enlightenment kink.

• 10:56Speaker 00

  But don't get me, don't quote me on this, but I think he went to jail just for having such naughty thoughts and writing such bad stuff.

• 11:02Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 11:02Speaker 00

  I think he wrote a book and they put him in jail. They're like, bro, jail.

• 11:05Speaker 04

  Sex crimes, blasphemy and pornography.

• 11:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, well, he he came out his. I think his whole thing was like, it's just it's on like whatever you see, you can take down. And that's kind of the way it goes.

• 11:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was kind of like thumb wrestling.

• 11:19Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it was fucked up. His whole view is that like, if you see someone, you should take them down.

• 11:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, if you can do it, you can do it. You know what I mean? There's no rules. The only rules he followed were like natural, physical rules.

• 11:31Matt McCusker?

  That was that was hot then. Those guys, that was the that was the dawn of the enlightenment. And those guys were like, if you showed any religious sentiment, like sentiment, sentimentality or whatever, they would just be like, the work.

• 11:42Speaker 00

  It was like.

• 11:42Matt McCusker?

  For peasants. Religion back then was for peasants. If you were like an OG aristocrat back then, they were all in contest to be like one up each other like, I don't give a fuck about anything, dude. I don't believe any of that shit.

• 11:53Speaker 00

  It were like eighth grade Catholic schoolboys that got into Satanism by like, instead of drawing pentagrams, he was like chaining women up in his house, being like.

• 12:00Matt McCusker?

  So he was doing it.

• 12:01Speaker 00

  My dad's full of shit. He says you're not allowed to do this. And he was just going, fuck.

• 12:05Matt McCusker?

  So he lived it. He wasn't just a he wasn't just theorizing.

• 12:07Speaker 00

  He was writing it like this is what I did today. So maybe he was just a sick writer.

• 12:11Matt McCusker?

  So he was fifty shades in.

• 12:13Speaker 00

  He might have been IRL in though. It was.

• 12:16Matt McCusker?

  So no one knows if Marquise.

• 12:17Speaker 00

  It was pre ring camps and stuff. So he might have been just snatching from the house.

• 12:21Matt McCusker?

  He.

• 12:21Speaker 00

  No one, you know, I don't know. I don't want to speak on a dead man.

• 12:24Matt McCusker?

  True, true.

• 12:25Speaker 00

  Chances are it was he was writing the truth. It was a journal.

• 12:28Matt McCusker?

  It's also crazy because if you're a lord of the land, you had like a fiefdom peasants who come up to him, he probably would blow their minds being like, dude, what are you talking about? I could fuck you right now. And they're like, whoa, whoa, your excellency, please, please don't fuck me, your excellency. He's like, yeah, fuck you. I don't. But fuck you in the mud right now.

• 12:45Speaker 00

  I'm not saying I would do that.

• 12:49Speaker 00

  If I didn't have kids, I'm not saying I would do that. But I would break out of like the heterosexual rulebook.

• 12:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, for sure.

• 12:56Speaker 00

  I had a friend.

• 12:56Matt McCusker?

  That's the whole point of Kevin kids is that's the heterosexual rulebook is for people with kids.

• 13:00Speaker 00

  I never.

• 13:00Matt McCusker?

  If you don't have kids, you don't need to even.

• 13:02Speaker 00

  But I never thought of how heavy the heterosexual rulebook was until I was hanging out with a friend that didn't subscribe to it.

• 13:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 13:08Speaker 00

  And she was like, dude, you guys live with the most insane rules that like I can't comprehend.

• 13:13Matt McCusker?

  What was she saying?

• 13:15Speaker 00

  Just like get married, have kids, be like, you know, walk your dog, like, wear nice clothes. It's like.

• 13:20Matt McCusker?

  Well, hold on. Gay people talk about nice clothes.

• 13:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, but I'm saying like, as like a heterosexual couple, you have like a ton of rules that are put on you.

• 13:27Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 13:28Speaker 00

  That like you're supposed to do. So if you show up to like the bounce house, people are assuming you follow all of these rules.

• 13:34Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 13:34Speaker 00

  Whereas if you're in a non heterosexual lifestyle, there are way less rules.

• 13:39Matt McCusker?

  I guess you're right.

• 13:40Speaker 00

  Be like me and my play partner are gonna take my kid to school today.

• 13:44Matt McCusker?

  You can't do that.

• 13:45Speaker 00

  You can. You can't. You could do that from a heterosexual standpoint, but it's way more.

• 13:50Matt McCusker?

  Oh, okay, I got you.

• 13:51Speaker 00

  Explosive.

• 13:52Matt McCusker?

  I thought you were saying, yeah. So if you're, yeah, if you're, I think if you're gay, it's like you could, it's pretty much assumed like you're going to be slightly.

• 13:59Speaker 00

  You party a little harder.

• 14:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 14:01Speaker 00

  But like, if you find out your neighbors next door, like the play partner brings the kid to school, you're going to kind of be like, come on, man, like.

• 14:08Matt McCusker?

  I see what you're saying.

• 14:08Speaker 00

  You're not following our.

• 14:09Matt McCusker?

  I thought you were saying you can have your play partner. You shouldn't have your play partner.

• 14:13Speaker 00

  You can though, if you don't subscribe to the heterosexual rulebook.

• 14:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 14:18Speaker 00

  Which I'm not trying to throw that rulebook out.

• 14:20Matt McCusker?

  You also can't, you can't have that. You can't explain an open relationship to kids. It's too fucked. It's like too much. Kids are so binary. You can't be hitting them with like, well, like, you know, mommy has like her boyfriend who's more of like a physical intimate lover that makes up for daddy's more kind of like good natured passive quality. Like, they're gonna be like, hold on, dude, like daddy's the strongest guy we know. So yeah, dad's the strongest guy you know. Mom only loves dad.

• 14:45Speaker 00

  The bull's a little stronger.

• 14:49Matt McCusker?

  But that's what daddy likes.

• 14:52Matt McCusker?

  You can't have, they can't have.

• 14:54Speaker 00

  Other reason we moved to Austin to try to expand our rulebook.

• 14:59Speaker 00

  I'm just kidding. I'm not putting that out. I'm not. I'm not trying to go to like, are Austin going wild?

• 15:04Matt McCusker?

  True. The mayor went on Milwaukee going wild.

• 15:08Speaker 00

  No shade.

• 15:09Matt McCusker?

  He got burnt.

• 15:10Speaker 05

  I'm on Austin's going wild too.

• 15:12Speaker 00

  Where?

• 15:13Speaker 05

  What? I'm on the Austin G dub.

• 15:15Matt McCusker?

  How's Austin?

• 15:15Speaker 00

  What's the scene?

• 15:16Speaker 05

  It's it's it's it's all right. It's fine. It's, you know.

• 15:19Speaker 00

  Kind of tepid.

• 15:20Speaker 05

  Yes, you know how the G W scene goes.

• 15:23Speaker 00

  I don't.

• 15:26Matt McCusker?

  How how wide is your rulebook, Larry?

• 15:27Speaker 05

  What do you mean?

• 15:28Matt McCusker?

  In terms of your rule, how wide is like, how how far?

• 15:31Speaker 00

  Where does the shock start from?

• 15:32Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, where were your kink hit the fringe where you're like, ah?

• 15:35Speaker 05

  I don't I don't have fringe kinks, I don't think.

• 15:37Matt McCusker?

  Okay.

• 15:38Speaker 05

  Yeah, I don't believe. I don't I don't think I have any fringe kinks. I tried to stop before it starts getting weird.

• 15:44Matt McCusker?

  Are you just sub Dom basically?

• 15:45Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 15:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:49Matt McCusker?

  Classic Dom response.

• 15:51Speaker 00

  Yeah. So you're like vanilla with a little peanut butter swirl.

• 15:58Speaker 00

  Like a cherry vanilla. I get with that.

• 16:03Speaker 00

  We just left, me and my wife just left like deep suburbia where it's like weird if you don't have like two couples working for or like both spouses working from home.

• 16:13Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 16:13Speaker 00

  And like if your kids don't play sports, they're like, yo.

• 16:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 16:17Speaker 00

  They're weird.

• 16:17Matt McCusker?

  Although I could get into that from a kink perspective.

• 16:20Speaker 00

  Like deep suburban kink?

• 16:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Go like full deep suburban dead bedroom birth on both on antidepressants and just let like fifteen years pass. That'd be hot.

• 16:31Speaker 00

  It sounds kinky.

• 16:33Matt McCusker?

  Oh, fuck.

• 16:34Speaker 00

  It sounds kinky, but in reality, it's just two work from home goon caves. And like a soccer game, like no one's, everyone's too lazy. So it's just like.

• 16:45Matt McCusker?

  Two work from home goon caves.

• 16:47Speaker 00

  It's like her sheet, like her she shed and like both of them are like, well, one of them's like reading erotica and the other one's like.

• 16:55Matt McCusker?

  Goody.

• 16:56Speaker 00

  Spending twelve hundred bucks a month on OnlyFans.

• 17:01Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 17:01Speaker 00

  It's not. It's not a very spicy scene.

• 17:03Matt McCusker?

  It's not spicy.

• 17:04Speaker 00

  From what I know, I don't know. I've been locked into like.

• 17:06Matt McCusker?

  That's true.

• 17:07Speaker 00

  My heterosexual rulebook household.

• 17:09Matt McCusker?

  Well, you've been on nineteen fifty's household for a while.

• 17:13Matt McCusker?

  Are you off that?

• 17:14Speaker 00

  I don't know. I've tried to establish that at the beginning, but it got shattered immediately. I've done it all, though. I've done seven years of like work from home.

• 17:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 17:23Speaker 00

  Stay at home dad, stay at home both parents while like dad.

• 17:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 17:28Speaker 00

  Worked in mysterious ways.

• 17:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, sure.

• 17:30Speaker 00

  We've done all kinds of things.

• 17:32Matt McCusker?

  You've been on your wizard grind.

• 17:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, we've been on a wizard grind. We've been on a learning curve.

• 17:35Matt McCusker?

  So you've tried all the different setups. What would you say is the ideal?

• 17:40Speaker 00

  As far as like spousal.

• 17:44Matt McCusker?

  Any, all things combined, not just kink.

• 17:46Speaker 00

  I will tell you, I've discovered what I think's the ideal.

• 17:49Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 17:50Speaker 00

  This is the other reason that brought us to Austin is we're trying to get into old, I'm more old Austin. I don't know, like.

• 17:58Matt McCusker?

  Hello.

• 17:58Speaker 00

  Kind of weird to me.

• 18:02Speaker 00

  No shade on.

• 18:03Matt McCusker?

  Hello.

• 18:03Speaker 00

  But like, you know, it's not really my scene. I'm old Austin. You know, I'm like slacker, keep Austin weird. You know, I'm more like.

• 18:11Matt McCusker?

  I forgot you're bringing slacker back.

• 18:13Speaker 00

  I'm I'm trying to become the apex slacker of Austin. That's my goal.

• 18:16Matt McCusker?

  Kind of sick.

• 18:16Speaker 00

  So like what me and Dana did was we sat down, right? In the, we did this in the middle of the pandemic because like my old goal used to be to slack full time.

• 18:25Matt McCusker?

  For sure.

• 18:25Speaker 00

  But I thought in order to slack full time, you need to make like a billion dollars doing something dumb and then you can slack.

• 18:33Matt McCusker?

  But those guys don't really slack though.

• 18:34Speaker 00

  I know. I learned that from my taco shop. I fucked up. That was like, I started a taco shop to slack.

• 18:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 18:40Speaker 00

  And it turned into.

• 18:41Matt McCusker?

  Eighty hours a week.

• 18:42Speaker 00

  Eighty hours of pure capitalistic.

• 18:44Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 18:44Speaker 00

  Indulgence.

• 18:45Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 18:46Speaker 00

  So like what we did was we sat down and we were like, let's look at a budget where we cut out anything extra. Like what would we need to not get our kids taken away?

• 18:57Matt McCusker?

  There you go.

• 18:58Speaker 00

  Right? It's four grand a month.

• 18:59Matt McCusker?

  Perfect.

• 19:00Speaker 00

  Right? It's like, if we could go with four grand a month, CPS won't come take our kids and we won't get divorced from being too poor.

• 19:08Matt McCusker?

  There you go.

• 19:09Speaker 00

  So like, we just bumped that up a little.

• 19:12Matt McCusker?

  The golden mean. That's perfect.

• 19:13Speaker 00

  So we're like, I'm trying. She's not that into this, but what I want to do is put a dry erase board on the fridge and split utilities. And be like, yo, we both got to come up with this much money. Like, yo, you owe me thirty three bucks for Comcast or whatever. She's not that into that idea.

• 19:29Matt McCusker?

  Full crackhead couple.

• 19:30Speaker 00

  No, I'm trying to go full like college live in boyfriend girlfriend.

• 19:36Speaker 00

  Where it's like dry erase board, you know, you've got to come up with this much for like Austin Gas.

• 19:42Matt McCusker?

  Well, how are you going to handle if you smoke her down? How much would that cost?

• 19:45Speaker 00

  Bullback to bullback.

• 19:46Matt McCusker?

  Bullback.

• 19:50Speaker 00

  It all depends.

• 19:51Matt McCusker?

  True. That's a sick setup. The whiteboard. Here's what we need.

• 19:54Speaker 00

  She hasn't gone full into that yet. That's my eventual goal.

• 19:57Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 19:58Speaker 00

  Like, like, it's like, people are always like, what are you guys gonna do when you retire for not saving money? I was like, I'm going back to a whiteboard where it's like, babe, if you don't have money, you gotta move out.

• 20:07Matt McCusker?

  I'll put up a Craigslist.

• 20:09Speaker 00

  Or we'll get another roommate.

• 20:11Matt McCusker?

  There you go. And then just tell them the rent's more and pocket off that.

• 20:15Speaker 00

  Hey, that's a good idea.

• 20:16Matt McCusker?

  Sure.

• 20:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, so it's like, yo. Like, cause I, I was like thinking, I'm like, dude, I was probably happiest back when I was like, fuck, I gotta get thirty-three bucks. I would go to Chili's and like bus tables and I get like a thirty-three dollar envelope, come home, give it to my boy, be like, yo Comcast's paid.

• 20:31Speaker 00

  And I would just fuck off.

• 20:33Matt McCusker?

  That is a good way to go about it, though.

• 20:35Speaker 00

  It's just the kids throw a monkey wrench in it because they need so much shit.

• 20:39Matt McCusker?

  Right.

• 20:39Speaker 00

  Like, if I just tell them, like, this is mommy and daddy's whiteboard, and when you get older, you can join our whiteboard.

• 20:46Matt McCusker?

  I mean, that's how they learn to grind, though.

• 20:48Speaker 00

  It's true.

• 20:48Matt McCusker?

  It is a weird thing with money and kids where you don't want them to turn into just like brats.

• 20:53Speaker 00

  Definitely.

• 20:53Matt McCusker?

  They gotta learn how to grind.

• 20:55Speaker 00

  They gotta learn how to like come up with their load. So I'm just trying to think of when I can put them on.

• 20:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 21:00Speaker 00

  Cause there was a brief period where like Max started making a little bit more money than us watching reptiles. And we kind of were like, yo, do we put them up on the fucking like?

• 21:10Matt McCusker?

  On the board?

• 21:12Speaker 00

  He was coming up with like two or three hundred a week at one point.

• 21:15Matt McCusker?

  That's not bad.

• 21:15Speaker 00

  It was dry as fuck for both of us. And a part of me is like, yo, dude, like, do we shake this kid down? And he went out, he went out and bought like a fucking, uh, this video game system that has everything ever. It was three hundred bucks. And I was like, yeah, maybe we'll get that for Christmas. He's like, yo, maybe I'll get it right fucking now. Dude shut out three hundred and bought himself like a setup.

• 21:39Matt McCusker?

  You should have cut one of his lizard's fingers off, my bro, pay up with the fucking.

• 21:42Speaker 00

  I was kinda like, then he's like, we kinda like, like he's playing it all day and.

• 21:47Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 21:48Speaker 00

  He kinda bought it.

• 21:49Matt McCusker?

  Well, you're, you're the state, though. You're the state. You have the right to tax the individual.

• 21:54Speaker 00

  True, but when your kid bought his own video game system, you come in, you go enough video game, fuck you, dad.

• 22:01Speaker 00

  You couldn't buy it. I bought it, dude. Fuck off. Like, I'm paid. It's like having a roommate.

• 22:06Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 22:07Speaker 00

  So you have to establish some dominance.

• 22:09Matt McCusker?

  You have to.

• 22:09Speaker 00

  So like, you gotta drive around, be like, yo.

• 22:11Matt McCusker?

  You could also be like, yeah, dude, you gotta pay, like, we get half of whatever you make. That's how this works. That's what the state does. Well, yeah, it's forty-seven percent, dude.

• 22:18Speaker 00

  He was coming up, though.

• 22:19Matt McCusker?

  Oh, that's kinda nice.

• 22:20Speaker 00

  He was like watching all these lizards, he was like talking to people for it. I'm just like, bro.

• 22:24Matt McCusker?

  The, I like the farmer's market tent.

• 22:27Speaker 00

  That's our, our other idea.

• 22:28Matt McCusker?

  Make a mint. You pay, be security. Like, Max, sorry, it's how it works, bro.

• 22:32Speaker 00

  Now, what we're thinking is Dana's gonna get back into singing.

• 22:35Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 22:36Speaker 00

  Right? So she's trying to find some like spots where she can sing. Max can hustle his lizards. I'm trying to sell the Pedro's at the farmer's market.

• 22:43Matt McCusker?

  There you go.

• 22:44Speaker 00

  Probably at an off table, off to the side.

• 22:46Matt McCusker?

  We have a communism tent. There's a real communist tent in here.

• 22:50Speaker 00

  Is there?

• 22:51Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, my comrades are there every week. They're off, they're like on the, the side street.

• 22:54Speaker 00

  Which, what do they sell at the farmer's market?

• 22:56Matt McCusker?

  Their idea, their poisonous ideology.

• 22:57Speaker 00

  Oh, they just preach communism.

• 22:59Matt McCusker?

  They just preach communism. I just get to walk by and you're like, comrades.

• 23:03Speaker 00

  That's wild.

• 23:04Matt McCusker?

  It's kinda sick. They just got the.

• 23:04Speaker 00

  I just got a ride here from a deeply anti-communist, former communist Cuban immigrant.

• 23:10Matt McCusker?

  Get, oh, get him, bring him over there.

• 23:11Speaker 00

  Patriotic as fuck.

• 23:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude.

• 23:13Speaker 00

  Like, he had like eagles on the backs of all of his shit. Like, he was fucking rocking.

• 23:16Matt McCusker?

  I've probably, yeah, a couple of years in communism, might do that to you, man.

• 23:19Speaker 00

  He was like, dude, you try to come up and they come and take your shit. I'm trying to design, down the road after I'm done sorting out my family finances, like a subscription-based government where whatever you want, you chime in.

• 23:32Matt McCusker?

  That would be nice.

• 23:33Speaker 00

  So it's like, if you wanna be a commie, we have a communist track for you.

• 23:37Matt McCusker?

  That's not a bad idea.

• 23:38Speaker 00

  You got a fork. It's a subscription. And if you're not a commie, you gotta buzz your phone and be like, fuck, that ride was five bucks.

• 23:44Matt McCusker?

  That's not bad.

• 23:44Speaker 00

  If you wanna be a commie, you can get all the commie shit. So we'll have like a commie tier.

• 23:49Matt McCusker?

  That's not bad at all.

• 23:50Speaker 00

  So like, if you try to come into a nice spot like this, like, sorry, commie. Like, no offense, but it's like, this isn't the reality of what you subscribe to.

• 23:58Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you didn't, you didn't pay for this.

• 23:59Speaker 00

  This is opulent.

• 23:59Matt McCusker?

  Can you claim fake comrade?

• 24:01Speaker 00

  What's that?

• 24:02Matt McCusker?

  Can you, can you claim fake, fake comrade? Like fake?

• 24:05Speaker 00

  No, cause you gotta have a subscription on your phone.

• 24:06Matt McCusker?

  Your shit's all hooked to it.

• 24:08Speaker 00

  It's all hooked to it.

• 24:08Matt McCusker?

  So all this shit you're talking on Facebook, you get linked to that. And that's what it is.

• 24:12Speaker 00

  That's your reality.

• 24:13Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 24:13Speaker 00

  So it's like, you want everything to be free? Fuck, shit's free. There you go.

• 24:16Matt McCusker?

  You like, talk a different way on Twitter, you know? It's all, it would fuck.

• 24:20Speaker 00

  I thought Twitter was just good and. Also, you, you, you can say the thing for good and it's like, whatever you're into on Twitter is all you can fuck with I R L.

• 24:27Matt McCusker?

  Well, you, you could either do like a social credit score thing where it's like how you act is how you get funneled into, or it's just whatever you, you show, you, you know, you put out and show up. Whatever you subscribe to, like voting. Like, I can subscribe to any party I want, but does, like, that's the thing that matters. I can say whatever I want.

• 24:43Speaker 00

  But dude, I think we should just get it like that. So like, kinda like taking the algorithm and making it real.

• 24:47Matt McCusker?

  Kind of said.

• 24:48Speaker 00

  So like, if you're into like heavy, like patriotic, like this is the best country ever.

• 24:52Matt McCusker?

  You're in the army.

• 24:53Speaker 00

  Go join the army, dude. Locked and loaded, go over there.

• 24:57Matt McCusker?

  Also, anyone can pilot drones for the most part. Like, we can reenlist all the boomers. Like, all right, dude, go ahead.

• 25:03Speaker 00

  And like, and the fight.

• 25:04Matt McCusker?

  About the Middle East, go ahead, pilot a drone.

• 25:05Speaker 00

  So like, instead of fighting at dinner, someone will be like, yeah, I'm a communist. Like, I subscribe to like commie way, well, to like some kind of waymo type shit. All your shit's there. Go for it.

• 25:14Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, so yeah, go.

• 25:15Speaker 00

  And then you see these like weird like block houses, like, oh, that's where the commies live. But you're all friends.

• 25:19Matt McCusker?

  That's not a bad idea.

• 25:19Speaker 00

  You see the mansions and you're like, oh, those guys play some other game.

• 25:22Matt McCusker?

  The capitalist.

• 25:23Speaker 00

  We don't really fuck with that. And then you get gruel, you get whatever you want. And you can like dip into all that. You can subscribe to both.

• 25:31Matt McCusker?

  That would be bad.

• 25:32Speaker 00

  So like, you could get the commie setup, you get your block apartment, you get whatever you want, you get your government cheese. And if you're like, yeah, I'm kinda bored tonight. It's like, let's go hustle up some cash and go over here. You just can't get caught double.

• 25:41Matt McCusker?

  True. Yeah, go out double dip and it'll be.

• 25:43Speaker 00

  It'd be like, you have an incognito wheel for your fucking capitalistic ideas. That way your boy caught you and be like, yo, what the fuck are you looking at? You're like, oh shit, I was getting some bread and.

• 25:52Matt McCusker?

  True. Especially if you're a young commie man, you like see a baby like, you can go out, hustle it up.

• 25:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:57Matt McCusker?

  Like, I found a weird gift for you.

• 25:59Speaker 00

  And you can vote, you can do whatever you want, but it's all separate bubbles that everyone lives in.

• 26:02Matt McCusker?

  They're gonna have to do something.

• 26:03Speaker 00

  They got it. We can't keep doing it the way it was.

• 26:05Matt McCusker?

  I think in Texas, the big race now is Talarico and the, uh, who, Talarico, I believe, claims, who, the other guy is, yeah, isn't he like Epstein adjacent kinda? Or that, is that just smut they're putting on him?

• 26:19Speaker 05

  No, he like, uh, he let like pedo, pedos out.

• 26:23Matt McCusker?

  He let pedos out?

• 26:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, he let pedos out.

• 26:25Matt McCusker?

  Damn, he did, he did, uh, reform on the pedo bills.

• 26:28Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 26:28Matt McCusker?

  Did he really let the pedos out? Let's get, let's get this, let's get this on the books. Cause I, you know, I know how it gets. Politics is a dirty game.

• 26:35Speaker 05

  You don't want the James Talarico mudslinging?

• 26:37Matt McCusker?

  Talarico, well, no, Talarico didn't let, oh yeah, he could be mudslinging. Tell, I think Talarico's quoted saying God is non-binary. Which, here's the thing.

• 26:47Speaker 05

  That makes sense.

• 26:47Matt McCusker?

  I, hold on. I would give that to Talarico, but then no more fucking weird girls get to be non-binary. Cause then that's just like, you can't claim to be.

• 26:55Speaker 00

  Wait, Talarico claims God's non-binary?

• 26:58Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I think it was like a political maneuvering, being like, God's probably not, like, is he a man or a woman? They're probably like, God's probably non-binary, which is like.

• 27:04Speaker 00

  That's insane that that even enters the political discourse.

• 27:06Matt McCusker?

  I know.

• 27:08Speaker 00

  Is God a boy or a girl? It's what, you're fucking third grade?

• 27:11Matt McCusker?

  I know. It's also a very, it's a very clever way of saying God's fake. Yeah, it's, it's a way of saying he's fake. But yeah, God's non-binary, whatever, a bunch of bullshit, a bunch of fucking bullshit.

• 27:24Speaker 04

  There was an attorney in Waco that, um, you know, the trial was kinda fudged and Ken Paxton, I guess, was in charge of it. It ended in a hung jury.

• 27:34Matt McCusker?

  Nice.

• 27:39Speaker 00

  Respect. All packed out.

• 27:43Speaker 04

  And then Paxton's office opted for a plea agreement rather than retrying him.

• 27:48Matt McCusker?

  Retrying the pedo?

• 27:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:49Matt McCusker?

  Was it a powerful pedo or just like a run of the mill?

• 27:51Speaker 04

  He was an attorney, so, um, yeah, I guess he was pretty powerful.

• 27:56Matt McCusker?

  Dang. So Paxton took it easy on a pedo.

• 27:59Speaker 04

  According to Google Gemini, yeah.

• 28:01Matt McCusker?

  According to Google Gemini. Yeah, that's not good, you know?

• 28:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't know. They're running the commercials heavy right now, which are always really funny.

• 28:08Speaker 00

  Freed the pedo?

• 28:09Speaker 04

  Just like the, he freed the pedo. And then the one about Talarico is just James Talarico is weird. And then they play a bunch of clips of him being like.

• 28:17Speaker 00

  Wait, so who freed the pedo? Talarico or Paxton?

• 28:19Matt McCusker?

  Paxton freed the pedo.

• 28:20Speaker 00

  Talarico. I don't understand why we don't just zap pedos like we do dogs that bite kids. Just come together and be like, yo, sorry, is what it is, like.

• 28:28Matt McCusker?

  Said it a hundred times. It's like, just get rid of them.

• 28:30Speaker 00

  Just get rid of, or put them on an island and let them.

• 28:33Matt McCusker?

  Pedo, pedo island would be nice.

• 28:35Speaker 00

  But all pedos, no kids.

• 28:36Matt McCusker?

  That's what I'm saying. Oh, yeah, for sure. Obviously.

• 28:38Speaker 00

  Eventually, they would just go ape shit on each other.

• 28:41Matt McCusker?

  They should, they should put it like off the coast of Florida, like just near Disney World.

• 28:44Speaker 00

  Just send them down there and give them food, give them whatever. It's like, you guys.

• 28:48Matt McCusker?

  I, I don't understand why they try to reintroduce those guys whatsoever. I do, we were talking about the Chris Hansen movie. I do think it is a little weird that they read those texts out loud. There's something weird about that being like, I'm gonna lick your little butthole. It's like, alright dude.

• 29:04Speaker 00

  You don't need to read.

• 29:05Matt McCusker?

  We know what he's trying to do. You don't have to be graphic.

• 29:07Speaker 00

  Yeah, like when you say Pito, we get the rest of it.

• 29:10Matt McCusker?

  Totally get it. Like you sent dirty texts, dude. You don't have to read them out loud. Cause like, I used to watch that show and laugh and like, when I watched the EDP thing, I was like, dude, this is a lot being like, reading these texts. It's like, and I watched his thing with EDP. I'm like, dude, okay, dude, we, we know the guy's a bad pedophile.

• 29:26Speaker 00

  Who, EDP?

• 29:27Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, but it's like.

• 29:29Speaker 00

  You're putting this model, he's an agio file.

• 29:32Speaker 00

  Still get zapped, what I'm saying.

• 29:34Matt McCusker?

  He's an affebo file technically.

• 29:35Speaker 00

  He's a what?

• 29:36Matt McCusker?

  He's an affebo file.

• 29:37Speaker 00

  An affebo file.

• 29:37Matt McCusker?

  He's a feebo file technically, but yeah, you're zapped. They should pedophile and affebo file and are different.

• 29:42Speaker 00

  But it's just like, dude, that's something you can't do. And if you do.

• 29:45Matt McCusker?

  You're gone.

• 29:45Speaker 00

  You gotta go, bro.

• 29:46Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you're fried.

• 29:47Speaker 00

  It's like if someone was at my house and they started doing remotely pedo shit, like you can never come to my house.

• 29:52Matt McCusker?

  Dude, you're out, dude.

• 29:53Speaker 00

  I don't need to hear your backstory, bro. Like, you gotta go.

• 29:55Matt McCusker?

  Well, and I don't want you in a fucking apartment two miles up the street from me.

• 29:58Speaker 00

  You just gotta go, dude. Like Megan's always a waste of time.

• 30:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 30:02Speaker 00

  You could say like Megan should be like, he used to live here. He could drive by, y'all pedo used to.

• 30:08Speaker 00

  But just send them somewhere. There's so much space. We just drove across the country.

• 30:11Matt McCusker?

  Well, dude.

• 30:12Speaker 00

  There's so much fucking space.

• 30:13Matt McCusker?

  If you murder people for murder, it only makes sense that the punishment for pedophilia should match the crime and that should be exiled.

• 30:21Speaker 00

  Here's the thing with murder. There is justifiable murder now.

• 30:25Matt McCusker?

  There is.

• 30:26Speaker 00

  I'm not saying it's, I'm not saying it's okay to kill someone, but if someone's like, yo, this guy walked in his house and his wife.

• 30:32Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he fucking shot the guy.

• 30:33Speaker 00

  Some non-announced play partner was in the house with the wife.

• 30:38Speaker 00

  And he shot him.

• 30:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:39Speaker 00

  It's like, dude, that, I could see that happen.

• 30:41Matt McCusker?

  It's crime of passion and it is understandable. It's like, it's not, it's not despicable.

• 30:45Speaker 00

  Like she's hitting me like, when are you gonna be home? When are you gonna be home? And then like you surprise her and come home early.

• 30:50Matt McCusker?

  Even though you kinda know.

• 30:53Speaker 00

  And you shoot him and you're like, fuck, you've been bothering me about when I'm gonna be home and this.

• 30:57Matt McCusker?

  Maybe you cave her head in with a hammer or whatever. That's understandable. It's not good.

• 31:02Speaker 00

  Still you get, I'm still like, alright dude, you know, put him in jail for a long time. He might go to therapy and come around, but it's like if you.

• 31:08Matt McCusker?

  Come out in 25.

• 31:09Speaker 00

  Kid, it's like, dude.

• 31:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, there's no justifiable. There's no justifiable cause.

• 31:14Speaker 00

  At all. So it's like, just take them.

• 31:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, well, how is that not, why are the laws so lax around that? It's very odd.

• 31:20Speaker 00

  I don't, it's not even that they're lax, it's that they're, they're like complicated. It's like, how is it complicated? It's fucking.

• 31:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Yeah, you're gone.

• 31:29Speaker 00

  Or like basketball coaches for high schools that do weird shit. It's like, dude, you have to go.

• 31:33Matt McCusker?

  You're toast. Yeah. Well, now they get fired. There's no.

• 31:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, but they get fired, but then they get like shuffled to like a sales job somewhere. But it's like, dude, just take them. Like we just drove through Arkansas, right? No shit on Arkansas. There's a lot of crappy spaces in Arkansas.

• 31:48Speaker 00

  Put them all there.

• 31:49Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you fence them off.

• 31:50Speaker 00

  Dude, there's like gas stations with shower stalls. They'll figure out what to do with each other.

• 31:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, put them on a rez. They need a rez.

• 31:59Matt McCusker?

  Toss them on the pedo, put them on the pez.

• 32:02Matt McCusker?

  Cause they have pervert park.

• 32:04Speaker 00

  But they need to get further out.

• 32:06Matt McCusker?

  Here's the thing.

• 32:07Speaker 00

  And it can drop ship like basic supplies.

• 32:09Matt McCusker?

  No, here's what it should be. It should be like, alright, you get caught being a pedophile. You're, you're basically, you got like 30 days. You're like a dog up for adoption.

• 32:17Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 32:18Matt McCusker?

  You're 30 days in the needle and if your family wants to sponsor your existence, they can pay money if you exist within like a 40,000, like a one acre chain link fence setup.

• 32:27Speaker 00

  Or same concept, maybe you can like.

• 32:31Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true. This is jail.

• 32:33Speaker 00

  Or if you, let's say you have like, let's say you have a job that like no one will do and it's like cleaning toilets in like the back of an oil refiner in the middle of West Texas. You can adopt one and like.

• 32:43Matt McCusker?

  Like they could be like a Tesla kind of.

• 32:45Speaker 00

  Just put them way out there. Way out there.

• 32:47Matt McCusker?

  Slave, pedo slave would be nice. Ped slave would be decent.

• 32:52Speaker 00

  All I'm saying is I think like as a nation, instead of fighting, we should have like a week long conference in Philadelphia where we just bring up all the topics we can agree on. Come to a conclusion.

• 33:01Matt McCusker?

  That's what I'm saying, dude.

• 33:02Speaker 00

  Rather than be like, who do you want to vote for? This guy banged a kid, but this guy let a kid out that banged a kid.

• 33:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 33:09Speaker 00

  Like dude, let's end this conversation.

• 33:10Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, fuck next. Also, there's, there's a world of bizarre weirdos like bubbling up underneath them. It's like, alright, get out of here. What else have we got? Pop up. Yeah, that's kinda chill.

• 33:19Speaker 00

  Or at this point, I think we're at a point with like AI technology where we don't need politicians.

• 33:24Matt McCusker?

  I do, I, they're, they're, yeah.

• 33:26Speaker 00

  You could like register, like I would rather have my phone registered to me as an individual. I mean, I know it's like kinda social credit scoring where like if I vote, it goes right to a counter. It's everything settled.

• 33:38Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 33:38Speaker 00

  They bring up the topic. We discuss it amongst ourselves and we send it in. You don't need some dude who.

• 33:43Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, my, my phone could vote for me. It could go off my YouTube algorithm.

• 33:46Speaker 00

  It's like, yeah, here's kinda.

• 33:47Matt McCusker?

  It's like white guy owns black guy in a debate.

• 33:53Speaker 00

  I was like.

• 33:54Matt McCusker?

  White professor.

• 33:55Speaker 00

  I had my screen time down to like nonexistent, but then like the last month before I moved was pretty much just like riding out a prison sentence.

• 34:03Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 34:03Speaker 00

  Cause like I had nothing to do. It was like, you're gonna go get set up in Austin. So I had like 30 days of just like coffee, sitting in the yard, smoking cigs.

• 34:10Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, kinda chill.

• 34:12Speaker 00

  So like my screen time was through the roof and all it was, was like one punch MMA knockouts in gas stations where like the guy you didn't think knew karate, knew karate. I would just watch them over and over, be like, oh damn, I got fucked.

• 34:25Matt McCusker?

  And they could judge from that, that you think pedophiles deserve the death penalty.

• 34:28Speaker 00

  Or just judge from that, that I shouldn't really have a saying thing.

• 34:31Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, sure.

• 34:32Speaker 00

  Be like, this guy doesn't give a fuck. He's smoking cigarettes, drinking 10 cups of coffee.

• 34:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, and watching knockouts.

• 34:37Speaker 00

  Just leave him out. He'll be fine. He's on his own shit. But if I'm on there like raging against like, I'm so mad about this.

• 34:45Matt McCusker?

  Then you gotta say.

• 34:46Speaker 00

  Then you gotta say.

• 34:47Matt McCusker?

  That's not, that's not bad.

• 34:48Speaker 00

  Or if like you're a woman and you're like one of those like women that are like, I don't think women should vote. Just be like, yeah, then she doesn't vote.

• 34:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 34:56Speaker 00

  But if you're a woman that's into voting.

• 34:58Matt McCusker?

  Vote ahead, vote away.

• 34:59Speaker 00

  Like it's like.

• 34:59Matt McCusker?

  It doesn't matter either way.

• 35:01Speaker 00

  We can't make blanket rules anymore. Cause there's no monolithic like television, press.

• 35:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 35:07Speaker 00

  Everyone's on their own shit.

• 35:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 35:09Speaker 00

  Like everyone walks outside and sees another world now. Whereas we used to all come outside like, dude, you see a fucking OJ case? And everyone cared about the OJ case. Now it's like, no, I didn't follow that. I've been like looking up monstera clippings.

• 35:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, good plant ID by the way.

• 35:23Speaker 00

  Fucking real solid plant.

• 35:24Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's a nice.

• 35:24Speaker 00

  Swiss cheese.

• 35:26Matt McCusker?

  Ah dude, I wish I knew. I got caught front and I called it something else. I forgot what it was called, but yeah, I came back. By the way, this thing was closed from last time I did the podcast and I, in my weakness, I was like, those guys really gotta fucking open my blinds afterwards. Into my head and I was like, dude, they're your blinds or your plant. If you didn't notice.

• 35:46Speaker 00

  Did it suffer from lack of sun?

• 35:48Matt McCusker?

  I mean, this thing is just, it was nothing but suffering, but no, these, these plants are tough. This thing's tough.

• 35:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, there's, there's a bunch behind my house right now.

• 35:55Matt McCusker?

  I might move out of this office soon, so.

• 35:56Speaker 00

  Where are you gonna move?

• 35:57Matt McCusker?

  I have a new office. We have the warehouse, bro.

• 35:59Speaker 00

  Oh yeah, we drove by yesterday.

• 36:00Matt McCusker?

  Did you see it?

• 36:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, kids were hyped on it.

• 36:02Matt McCusker?

  We got a warehouse coming up.

• 36:03Speaker 00

  We went to, um.

• 36:04Matt McCusker?

  Um, I really fucked up.

• 36:05Speaker 00

  Oh, we went to Hopdodds.

• 36:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 36:07Speaker 00

  And then we went to the next.

• 36:09Matt McCusker?

  Yep.

• 36:09Speaker 00

  Were you fucked up and bought a warehouse?

• 36:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude, I have, I don't have any money now. I just have a warehouse.

• 36:14Speaker 00

  Escape park or do, do like shredder it out.

• 36:16Matt McCusker?

  I'm gonna do Robin Big.

• 36:17Speaker 00

  Make it a bad kid.

• 36:20Speaker 00

  Make it a bad kid hangout.

• 36:21Matt McCusker?

  I should. It was sick though.

• 36:22Speaker 00

  Cigs, scape, exactly what shredder did in TMNT.

• 36:26Matt McCusker?

  I mean dude, that's gonna, that's pretty much what I'm doing. I've had it for like a year. I haven't done shit with it.

• 36:30Speaker 00

  Open it up, kinda make it look like it looks locked and like let kids start doing their own thing there.

• 36:36Matt McCusker?

  So I end up getting, so I end up getting exiled.

• 36:43Speaker 00

  Go ahead, guys. No one knows.

• 36:44Matt McCusker?

  Do something there. Well, it'll get fired. We'll get it fired up, but I just wildly underestimated, um, you know, I thought I was warehouse guy. I'm barely a warehouse guy. I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on for dear life as a warehouse guy.

• 36:58Speaker 00

  Wait, so you bought the place next to it?

• 37:01Speaker 00

  Then what did we see yesterday that says?

• 37:02Matt McCusker?

  Hello. That's the place.

• 37:04Speaker 00

  That's the warehouse.

• 37:05Matt McCusker?

  I'm a double warehouse guy.

• 37:07Speaker 00

  Wait, where's the other warehouse?

• 37:08Matt McCusker?

  Man, it turns out I'm a one warehouse man.

• 37:10Speaker 00

  Where's the other warehouse man?

• 37:11Matt McCusker?

  Right next to it. I got warehouses, bro.

• 37:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's what's up.

• 37:15Matt McCusker?

  Yes, what's up dude?

• 37:15Speaker 00

  Can you freight them out or something or just start trucking?

• 37:18Matt McCusker?

  I might do like a fucking WeWork.

• 37:19Speaker 00

  You should buy a truck.

• 37:22Speaker 00

  That's the hustle.

• 37:24Matt McCusker?

  I had a real thought about this.

• 37:26Speaker 00

  You should start trucking anything and kinda get the rep for like, yeah, I'll drive whatever.

• 37:31Matt McCusker?

  I'll drive, I mean.

• 37:32Speaker 00

  No inspections.

• 37:32Matt McCusker?

  Good business down here. I've, I had this grand plan before of smuggling drugs and mattresses. That was my big thing. Just mattresses, mattress warehouse in Mexico, cut them open, load them up and just fucking truck them.

• 37:46Speaker 00

  Drug game's kinda cooked though.

• 37:47Matt McCusker?

  It's cooked, yeah. Drug game's fucking whack now. Maybe peeps though. I can throw some peeps in those mattresses.

• 37:54Speaker 00

  This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. If you've thought about trying therapy with our long-term partner, BetterHelp, insurance options may now be available nationwide with an average copay for eligible members of just $23 per session and just in time for World Mental Health Day on the 10th. But honestly, your mental health is something you should be supporting all year round. Let me, let me riff on this. Your mental health doesn't check the clock. There's no planning for a spiral. I had, if you feel comfortable, talk about a time recently where you were feeling stressed or anxious. When did it happen? Was it an inconvenience? How could therapy or what you learned in therapy help you through

• 38:35Speaker 00

  such a moment? The other day I got so stressed out and I said, you know what? Let me use some mindfulness tactics here right now. And I did it and it was just all through therapy that it worked so well. Guys, if you've been waiting to start therapy, BetterHelp works with more than 125 health plan networks and eligible members have an average copay of just $23 per session with insurance. Don't have insurance or live outside the United States? You can still get 10% off your first month. Visit betterhelp.com/mssp to explore your payment options. That's better H E L P dot com slash M S S P. Guys, oh, sorry, let me use this. Guys, please, you can check me out. Charlotte, North Carolina, October

• 39:18Speaker 00

  9th, October 10th, Jacksonville, Florida, Atlanta, Georgia, Chattanooga, Fort Lauderdale, Tampa, Orlando. Here's the big one, guys. I've been begging you for weeks. Newark, New Jersey. Don't mess me up, guys. I'll be down in Newark. It's a giant 3,000 seater. I'm gonna, I'll probably have a nervous breakdown and leave the stage. Baltimore, Maryland, Columbus, Ohio, Cincinnati, San Diego, and Sacramento. Please come. Matt McCusker.com, please.

• 39:44Matt McCusker?

  Hey, everybody. It's me, Lemare. Please, please come hang out at these shows. The Optimum Doctors every first and third Tuesday at the Creek in the Cave. And then also I'll be in Indianapolis on the 8th for Let's Fest. And then I'll be in Marion, Illinois on October 10th for Little Egypt Festival. That should be a hoot. And then at the end of the month, I'm gonna be all the way, oh, New Orleans on October 21st. Yeah. And then in Florida, in Jacksonville, at the River City Comedy on Thursday, 29th, and in Orlando at Alex's Underground on the 31st. Please hang out. Lemare, leave that fun. Lemare tracks stuff.

• 40:27Speaker 00

  I'm sure you can do something with a warehouse.

• 40:28Matt McCusker?

  I'll get it. I'll figure it out.

• 40:30Speaker 00

  Just turn it into like, I don't know, you do the warehouse.

• 40:33Matt McCusker?

  Halloween. I'll do a Halloween, a haunted Halloween.

• 40:35Speaker 00

  Haunted Halloween?

• 40:36Matt McCusker?

  Haunted Halloween.

• 40:37Speaker 00

  I had an idea, like, you ever been to an escape room?

• 40:40Matt McCusker?

  The what? Escape rooms rule, yeah. That's me and Brady's kink, by the way.

• 40:44Speaker 00

  What?

• 40:45Matt McCusker?

  We're big escape room heads.

• 40:46Speaker 00

  Damn, dude.

• 40:47Matt McCusker?

  Not lying, dude.

• 40:47Speaker 00

  They're nice. I went to one.

• 40:49Matt McCusker?

  People shit on escape rooms.

• 40:51Speaker 00

  Dude, I kinda shit on them. I thought it was like quirk junkish shit.

• 40:57Speaker 00

  But my boy Kurt brought me to one.

• 40:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, man.

• 40:59Speaker 00

  I had so much fucking fun.

• 41:01Matt McCusker?

  It's the best.

• 41:02Speaker 00

  And I was obsessed with it for like three days. Then we moved, so I haven't gone to another one.

• 41:04Matt McCusker?

  Bro.

• 41:05Speaker 00

  They are so much fucking fun.

• 41:07Matt McCusker?

  They're, they fucking rule.

• 41:08Speaker 00

  I thought it was like doggo pupper shit, like, I don't wanna grow up.

• 41:12Matt McCusker?

  That shit, fuck it. They rule. And it's also like, I mean, it's a real test of metal. Everyone wants to talk shit until they get in the room.

• 41:19Speaker 00

  I was there with.

• 41:20Matt McCusker?

  Talk shit. Let's see who solves more puzzles, dude.

• 41:22Speaker 00

  I was there with a dude I'd never met and my boy Kurt, who's an airline pilot.

• 41:26Matt McCusker?

  That's sick.

• 41:27Speaker 00

  All locked in.

• 41:28Matt McCusker?

  Damn.

• 41:28Speaker 00

  We got there, zero ego. We all were just on a team locked. It wasn't like, I was like, dude, if I came here.

• 41:35Matt McCusker?

  What kind of room we're talking? Like, what was the theme?

• 41:37Speaker 00

  It was like an auto body shop where like things weren't quite what they seemed. It seemed kinda like a horror movie type thing. It was really chill.

• 41:43Matt McCusker?

  Get any hints?

• 41:45Speaker 00

  Couple hints. And we didn't solve it either. But I was like, tell them, like, dude, if I came in here with my brothers, we would've been fighting. If I was in here with two dudes that we.

• 41:53Matt McCusker?

  There's too much ego in the room.

• 41:54Speaker 00

  Dude, it's like, dude, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. But I went in with three dudes and none of us had anything to prove to each other. So we just like fucking locked in. It was like one mind. We still didn't win, though.

• 42:09Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they're so fun.

• 42:10Speaker 00

  And the most fun thing was, I was like about to hop in the shower and dude texts me. He's like, yo, you wanna go to an escape room? I was like, like in general? He's like, no, in like three minutes. I was like, yes. So I just like jumped in his car and we went, did the escape room. He dropped me right back off.

• 42:26Matt McCusker?

  It's, it's good, clean, adult fun.

• 42:28Speaker 00

  But no, with your warehouse, dude, you could do a Halloween thing. I had this idea after the escape room where set it up like a cabin and have like a murderer Jason man legitimately chasing you and your friends. So if he like hits you with the blade, you're dead. So you have to like hide under mattresses or hide, kinda like hide and seek, but like Halloween themed. Like he will kill you.

• 42:50Matt McCusker?

  That's tight.

• 42:50Speaker 00

  So it's like you go in, you get like a 15 minute time slot and like you're going through a haunted house that's just a normal warehouse, but with like pallets and like stuff.

• 42:58Matt McCusker?

  It's not a bad idea.

• 42:59Speaker 00

  And like random, like you don't know what's happening and like dude hops out and slashes you and you're toast.

• 43:05Matt McCusker?

  That's pretty sick. I was, I was thinking Halloween theme. I might actually take some of the city employees that are holding it up and murder them in the background. Actually murder the city employees.

• 43:13Speaker 00

  Are they rough down here, like Philly?

• 43:15Matt McCusker?

  They're not as bad as Philly.

• 43:16Speaker 00

  Philly, it's insane.

• 43:17Matt McCusker?

  Everyone's like, dude, this is the worst. I'm like, you guys, you can call the city down here and they'll answer the phone. Like you, like the, the permitting, you can talk to people at the permitting office. You can't do that. You could barely talk to them if you go down there.

• 43:29Speaker 00

  In Philadelphia, you can't. And then they find one reason that you piss them off and you're out of line.

• 43:34Matt McCusker?

  I think they'll probably do that here, too. But it's, Philly's so much more like harder than.

• 43:39Speaker 00

  The entire Northeast, like, once I started coming down here, I was like, dude, this is insane how like it's high functioning action down there.

• 43:46Matt McCusker?

  Dude, we, our, our, uh, one time our trash didn't get all the way picked up. Like a couple of bags got stuck in the bottom. We called a number, like the 411, 311, whatever it is.

• 43:55Speaker 00

  Dude answered?

• 43:56Matt McCusker?

  First of all, they answered. And then they were like, oh, sorry about that. That next day, a trash truck drove back, dumped the trash in and took off. And I was like, that's, that's fucking insane.

• 44:04Speaker 00

  You don't get that up in the Northeast.

• 44:06Matt McCusker?

  No, you can't call them. You can, I, I remember, I got the parking authority's like legit number. Cause they had, they had booted one of my, they booted a couple of my whips. And the one time I was like really, I was like kind of nice hitting the guy with the sad sack like, bro, I'm fucked. And he goes, dude, take this number. Don't tell anyone I gave it to you. So I would call the parking authority all the time, like.

• 44:27Speaker 00

  And get direct line?

• 44:28Matt McCusker?

  It was direct. And they'd be like, how did you get this number? They got so mad. I had to direct Philadelphia Parking Authority right to the belly of the beast.

• 44:34Speaker 00

  Well, like it's so, like, that's what me and Dana were like blown away by. Like, you come down here and it's just so much smoother.

• 44:38Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 44:39Speaker 00

  Like Philadelphia is insane.

• 44:41Matt McCusker?

  Dude, wait till you wait for like six months and hop off a plane. You get in the Philly airport and you're like, what the fuck happened? It feels like everyone just got over a fight. You know, like post, you know, post-fight energy when the house is quiet and you're like, why is that?

• 44:53Speaker 00

  It's the whole thing.

• 44:54Matt McCusker?

  It's, it's.

• 44:55Speaker 00

  Or like me and Mac went, we went to get coffee the first morning we were here and we pulled up some fucked up ghost kitchen. I was like, irate, right? And we hop out. And so I was like, I needed some coffee, had a pounding headache. I'm like, what the fuck is this place? I got out literally cursing with an eight-year-old with me. Like, what the fuck is this place, Mac? Like, and some dude was like, hey, man, this is a ghost kitchen. And he walked me through the entire process. Then some other young Mexican man walked up and Mac said hi to him and he shook his hand. Good morning.

• 45:25Matt McCusker?

  That's so.

• 45:25Speaker 00

  And Mac was like, dude, that guy was cool. I'm like, bro, people are cool down here.

• 45:28Matt McCusker?

  People are very.

• 45:29Speaker 00

  Like, if I pulled up somewhere in Philadelphia and didn't know what I was doing, someone might punch me.

• 45:32Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 45:34Speaker 00

  Punch and kill me.

• 45:36Matt McCusker?

  They would real call you gay.

• 45:37Speaker 00

  Yeah. Or be like, fuck, they just, or they just ignore me.

• 45:40Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 45:41Speaker 00

  So it's like, you come down here, everyone says hello, everyone's chilling.

• 45:44Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, people are a lot friendlier here, for sure.

• 45:46Speaker 00

  I think what has happened over time is like people have left Philadelphia if they were like kinda chill and headed west.

• 45:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 45:52Speaker 00

  Whereas like, we're still stuck with like, the people who landed and how pissed off they were.

• 45:57Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 45:58Speaker 00

  And it's just in our minds. It's like, dude, you're pissed. Like, fuck that.

• 46:02Matt McCusker?

  Just the very first spot, couldn't move and just.

• 46:04Speaker 00

  It's like got from Ireland.

• 46:06Matt McCusker?

  Mm-hmm. I mean, it's literally as close as you can get.

• 46:10Speaker 00

  Got to New York, was like, it kinda sucks here. I'm gonna find something better. Came down to Philadelphia. Like, I guess everything sucks. It just.

• 46:17Speaker 00

  And then it's like eight generations of like, life sucks. It sucked in Ireland. It sucks here. It sucked in Italy. It sucks here. Sucked in New York. Sucks in Boston. And we all accept it.

• 46:30Matt McCusker?

  It's true.

• 46:30Speaker 00

  You just accept how much everything sucks. The weather sucks, too.

• 46:33Matt McCusker?

  Weather blows.

• 46:34Speaker 00

  I can't ban out of that much.

• 46:36Matt McCusker?

  No, the, that last winter you guys had was bullshit.

• 46:39Speaker 00

  It's what happened. It's why we moved here.

• 46:40Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 46:40Speaker 00

  We were down here, we went home, we were like, dude, why are we like still meddling around up?

• 46:45Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I couldn't stop laughing just at the, the potential, just in case, if one of those like lizards or like if, if a tarantula had gotten out in the hotel, that would've ended the business.

• 46:58Speaker 00

  What? The hotel?

• 47:00Matt McCusker?

  If you were, if I was in a hotel and I took a picture of a tarantula and put it on Yelp, that place would be.

• 47:06Speaker 00

  Especially like cruising down the highway, like, yo, it's got one star. Yeah, there's fucking tarantulas. Yeah, we smuggled them in, too. It was nuts having like my eight-year-old son like run cover. I'm like, yo, when we roll in, say what's up to the dude at the desk and he'll think you're cute. I'm blasting by with like snakes in a barrel.

• 47:23Matt McCusker?

  They had a bellhop cart with a blanket.

• 47:25Speaker 00

  I had a bellhop cart stacked with like fucking pythons and shit.

• 47:29Speaker 00

  The guy's like, good morning or good, good evening. We're like, hey dude, how you doing? I just had like a sheet over it. I felt like the fucking, uh, like I told dad, if I were sneaking into a Jason Aldean concert.

• 47:39Matt McCusker?

  What's that Jason Aldean?

• 47:40Speaker 00

  What the Vegas dude.

• 47:45Speaker 00

  I was like, now I understand. Cause I was always like, dude, there's no way that guy snuck all those submachine guns.

• 47:51Speaker 00

  Dude, you easily could.

• 47:52Matt McCusker?

  You totally could.

• 47:53Speaker 00

  It's like some dude like looking at his phone. And you're just rolling machine guns.

• 47:57Matt McCusker?

  Two bellhop carts covered in blankets.

• 47:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, covered in blankets.

• 48:00Matt McCusker?

  It could have been a bomb on those things. They would have had no. This episode is brought to you by NutraFol. Okay. You're a fool.

• 48:06Speaker 00

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• 48:07Matt McCusker?

  A pity that NutraFol.

• 48:08Speaker 00

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• 48:09Matt McCusker?

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• 48:51Matt McCusker?

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• 49:03Speaker 00

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• 49:04Matt McCusker?

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• 49:43Matt McCusker?

  you get the third free with promo code drenched. You'll also receive an additional 10% off plus free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. Oh yeah.

• 49:55Speaker 00

  Oh yeah. Dude had no care.

• 49:58Matt McCusker?

  Mom, I didn't know mom was into chat GPT. That's my favorite development, dude. Dude, she was printing out chat GPT.

• 50:05Speaker 00

  She was like cyber nagging my dad on the way down and like.

• 50:12Speaker 00

  So she had ways, right?

• 50:13Matt McCusker?

  Three bit.

• 50:14Speaker 00

  She, yeah. She printed like go into chat GPT and be like, what's the best way to avoid Dallas traffic? And it would be like 50 bullets. So she'd be like reading printed chat GPT bullets to my dad while driving in Dallas traffic. I'm like, dad, you're a fucking saint.

• 50:34Speaker 00

  I told her before I left, I'm like, dude, take it easy on dad on the way home.

• 50:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, man.

• 50:37Speaker 00

  Stare at the ways and it'll do everything for you.

• 50:40Matt McCusker?

  It'll do this in real time.

• 50:41Speaker 00

  So I was like, mom, we've already figured this out.

• 50:43Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 50:44Speaker 00

  She's like, did you put it through AI? I'm like, mom. Like you're three years late to the game. And like it's hitting you with bullets that are designed to like how you read and how you talk.

• 50:56Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 50:56Speaker 00

  So you're literally like taking AI consciousness. And hassling dad with it. Like you're hitting him on a level that's like. I started to fear AI when I was coming down before I'd be like, whatever AI is not gonna, I'm like, dude, AI is gonna make our lives hell. We're gonna be like 60, like trying to lug beach chairs onto the beach with our wives and they're gonna be like, dude, it says here, high tides at spring.

• 51:20Matt McCusker?

  You can't hit him with all the knowledge in the world.

• 51:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 51:22Matt McCusker?

  No, Brittany hit me one time. We were text fighting and she goes, for real? Send this whole thing through Grok. It'll tell you you're wrong. I was like, bro, fuck that. I'll, I give up.

• 51:31Speaker 00

  I did that one time. One time I was fighting with Dana, she'd start it live chat GPT me and I walked out.

• 51:35Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 51:36Speaker 00

  I have to draw the line here. Cause they tell you what you want to hear.

• 51:40Matt McCusker?

  I know.

• 51:41Speaker 00

  They're just like, your husband shouldn't punch you.

• 51:44Matt McCusker?

  I'd do to be nice, man.

• 51:47Matt McCusker?

  It'd be nice to be.

• 51:48Speaker 00

  They're like a firm shake is still domestic violence.

• 51:51Matt McCusker?

  Also, to be like.

• 51:53Speaker 00

  I kid, I've, I've never once, like, I've been so mad in my life. I've never once thought about like hitting, like, I don't understand that concept.

• 52:00Matt McCusker?

  Hitting her?

• 52:01Speaker 00

  I've just never like.

• 52:02Matt McCusker?

  I've never, I've only thought about in the abstract, like, should I for real like pin her down and would that help? But I'm like, no.

• 52:08Speaker 00

  But like my track goes right.

• 52:11Matt McCusker?

  Like maybe that does work. Just be like, fucking listen.

• 52:15Speaker 00

  But like dude, if I.

• 52:16Matt McCusker?

  I'll never.

• 52:16Speaker 00

  If I hit my peak madness, it goes to like, start walking and be an alcoholic on the streets and forget about all.

• 52:23Matt McCusker?

  True. That's a safer place.

• 52:25Speaker 00

  Like I always tell her when we fight, I'll close my eyes and she's like, what are you doing? I'm like, I'm just dreaming of the day where I'm just getting like woken up on a bench. And people are like, I think he had a family somewhere. College kids are like giving me Molly and stuff. They're like, yo, give him all. It's funny. He tells funny stories. And I'm like, uh, I had a family.

• 52:45Speaker 00

  That's my new happy place. I'm just like, dude, I could just be a, like a nameless bum in a college town and like.

• 52:52Matt McCusker?

  Drifter, beach bum. Awesome.

• 52:55Speaker 00

  Just.

• 52:55Matt McCusker?

  Especially a bum with some sense.

• 52:57Speaker 00

  Dude, they're, they're, they're, it's the most coveted position. If you think about it.

• 53:02Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 53:03Speaker 00

  Like you walk up, people give you cigs. They give you like beers and they're like, he's a good dude. He's not a bad one.

• 53:08Matt McCusker?

  Exactly.

• 53:08Speaker 00

  You don't have to do anything for him. You can help him move a couch out of a car. You get paid for a month.

• 53:13Matt McCusker?

  You're chilling.

• 53:14Speaker 00

  I was telling.

• 53:14Matt McCusker?

  Move people like standing there. Oh, I'm parking spot right here.

• 53:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, parking spot right here. I got you.

• 53:18Matt McCusker?

  I always look those guys up.

• 53:19Speaker 00

  Or like as they're walking the street, tell them the coffee shop's closed.

• 53:22Matt McCusker?

  Easy.

• 53:23Speaker 00

  Or they're like that close. Dude, you're the most valuable dude in the world.

• 53:26Matt McCusker?

  True. Get on the 711 door hustle.

• 53:28Speaker 00

  Yeah. You open the door, sound like, don't ask anyone for money. People might give you.

• 53:31Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. God bless you. Open the door. God bless you.

• 53:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, God.

• 53:34Matt McCusker?

  God bless you.

• 53:34Speaker 00

  Hey man, can I get one of them cigs?

• 53:37Speaker 00

  Hey man, can I get half of that beef stick?

• 53:39Matt McCusker?

  Done.

• 53:41Speaker 00

  No one's gonna fight with me.

• 53:42Matt McCusker?

  No, you'd be chilling.

• 53:43Speaker 00

  My kids will understand.

• 53:44Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 53:45Speaker 00

  I always tell them like, dude, I'm not gonna die. I'm not gonna put you through like parent death. One day I'm just gonna drift into oblivion. I'll be like 65. So you won't have to go through the suffering of like my dad died. You'll know I'm alive and you'll always think I'm alive, but I'll just be like holding doors in a 711.

• 54:04Speaker 00

  Job done. Like you're 24, you got married, did your thing. I'm just gonna kind of drift into like.

• 54:09Matt McCusker?

  That's kind of nice.

• 54:10Speaker 00

  Just a wayward.

• 54:11Matt McCusker?

  But you can text me. Actually, you can set up like a chat GPT filter.

• 54:14Speaker 00

  Not even that. As far as you know, I'm dead. Like I, as your provider, father, Thomas, I'm dead.

• 54:20Matt McCusker?

  The whiteboard's yours.

• 54:21Speaker 00

  But you don't have to suffer like saying goodbye and holding my hand and shit. You're watching the thing beep. That'll happen out of your sight.

• 54:27Matt McCusker?

  Take a sick picture of yourself.

• 54:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 54:28Matt McCusker?

  But here, keep this, I have a really.

• 54:30Speaker 00

  This, I'm good. I'm just done my job that I started.

• 54:34Matt McCusker?

  And I don't want it to get awkward.

• 54:35Speaker 00

  Yeah. I don't want it to get, I don't want you to watch me die. Like, you know, like whatever I have now, you can have.

• 54:40Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 54:41Speaker 00

  We'll do the inheritance thing now, whatever, you know, settle my debts. I'm just gonna start walking. I don't think anyone can stop you. It's not like you're faking your death.

• 54:49Matt McCusker?

  No, it's not bad.

• 54:50Speaker 00

  You're just ending your existence.

• 54:52Matt McCusker?

  You're going to hermitage pretty much.

• 54:53Speaker 00

  You're going to hermitage. Yeah.

• 54:54Matt McCusker?

  It's very east, it's very eastern to do.

• 54:56Speaker 00

  You don't have to deal with like getting a phone call where it's like, hey, I got some bad news for you, man.

• 55:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 55:01Speaker 00

  Fucking cigs caught up with me or like.

• 55:03Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. And it's nice cause he can be like, he's probably still out there right now.

• 55:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, my dad's live.

• 55:06Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 55:07Speaker 00

  I just don't know where he is. He's helping some college kids move.

• 55:13Matt McCusker?

  I remember, uh, it was funny cause we were, I had mom and dad stay with me for like two days and the, uh, I hadn't watched him operate in a while. And we were talking, we were just like eating breakfast, talking about weight gain. And my mom's still in the bedroom. My dad's sitting there and he's like, Merrick, tell, tell them what I told you. What, what did I tell you would happen if you gained weight? And my mom walks out of our guest room. She goes, uh, he told me he'd hit me on the head with a shovel. He'd take me out back and hit me in the head with a shovel. He's so full of shit. But then, then she was like, he was, she was telling me about how he, he was like, he loves driving trailers all over the place. And he had a trailer on the back of the truck, logging some shit and one of the tires went.

• 55:52Matt McCusker?

  So he was in the Walmart parking lot and he was like trying to take the tire off, but like you gotta take it off yourself. You're gonna like trade it in for another. I don't know what the fuck he was doing. But they were like, you gotta take the tire off yourself. My dad's like, whatever. He's down on his hands and knees and like Alabama, taking a fucking tire off a trailer. And it was rusted on. He couldn't get it off. And my mom was like, bro, just fuck. It's like, just leave it on. Who gives a fuck? Cause he was trying to get it off in case. He's like, it's old, so I don't want it to pop. I'm gonna get a new one or play whatever.

• 56:20Speaker 00

  Trucker shit.

• 56:21Matt McCusker?

  It's trucker shit. And my mom's just like, yeah. So I told him, I said, cause he's like, he got like a heart palpitation. She's like, you're gonna die on a Walmart parking lot with a heart attack. Is that really what you want? Go ahead and do it. I'm like, Jesus lady, fucking guy's fucking tripping out right now, trying to tire off. Like you're gonna die right now.

• 56:37Speaker 00

  Dude, I always think like.

• 56:38Matt McCusker?

  Brutal dude.

• 56:39Speaker 00

  I'm always like, my wife's gonna chill out as the kids get older and like, she doesn't have the leverage on me of like, I have to take care of these kids with you. But like, I'm like, it's just gonna escalate.

• 56:46Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude, they fire up.

• 56:47Speaker 00

  That's why old dudes just booze and fucking watch sports and like.

• 56:50Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Dude, I mean, after it, no force can like you, like no one can withstand that for that long without just mentally smoothing out.

• 56:59Speaker 00

  That's what I'm saying. If I go back to my original plan, if we have the whiteboard, it's just like, hey babe, what do you want to do? Get some pizza?

• 57:04Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 57:04Speaker 00

  It's like, no, I already ate. It's like, all right, like if the delivery comes and she's trying to grab a slice, it'll be like, you gotta cough up.

• 57:11Matt McCusker?

  You gotta get down on this. Yeah.

• 57:13Speaker 00

  I'll just be gaming, be like, yeah, you'll play Mario Kart.

• 57:16Speaker 00

  Fucking run with it. It'd be sick.

• 57:18Matt McCusker?

  It would be sick.

• 57:19Speaker 00

  It's a long-term goal.

• 57:20Matt McCusker?

  That is a nice.

• 57:20Speaker 00

  My retirement plan.

• 57:21Matt McCusker?

  Couple's goals.

• 57:22Speaker 00

  It's a couple of goals. Just to like morph into room, college roommates.

• 57:25Matt McCusker?

  That'd be perfect.

• 57:26Speaker 00

  Always smoke weed together.

• 57:27Matt McCusker?

  Order from Uber Eats. You didn't get me anything? No?

• 57:29Speaker 00

  No. She'll be like, oh fuck, I got it on my phone. She'll order it too.

• 57:33Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 57:33Speaker 00

  Not a big deal.

• 57:34Matt McCusker?

  You would think.

• 57:35Speaker 00

  Or if she's just not home for a couple of days, I'll be, I wonder where the fuck she is. Then she'll hit me up. I got fucking hammered at Preakness. I'll be like, damn, for real?

• 57:44Matt McCusker?

  It's fucking sick.

• 57:45Speaker 00

  It's fucking sick, babe.

• 57:47Matt McCusker?

  But yeah, I'm glad you, I'm glad you made it down. That's nice.

• 57:49Speaker 00

  It's been sweet, dude. So far it's been sweet. We got a lot unpacking to do. We got a lot of shit to figure out.

• 57:54Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I was fucked up for like straight six months.

• 57:57Speaker 00

  I keep getting hit with like waves of like reality shift panic. Where like I'll be tucking the kids in and I'll just be like, dude, where the fuck am I? What am I doing? And I've been having insane dreams.

• 58:08Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 58:09Speaker 00

  Like.

• 58:10Matt McCusker?

  You're under different constellations now.

• 58:11Speaker 00

  I think it's different constellation. Andrew said I'm downloading a new map.

• 58:14Matt McCusker?

  Probably.

• 58:14Speaker 00

  So my brain's at night, it's in overdrive. I'm like getting a new GPS system in my head. It's kind of sick.

• 58:20Matt McCusker?

  With seeing new stuff all the time tires you out. The first thing, I would drive past it and be like, I've never even seen that.

• 58:25Speaker 00

  It's so confusing. We're trying to figure out the roadways and shit. It's mind boggling.

• 58:30Matt McCusker?

  It, it really tires you out.

• 58:32Speaker 00

  But then you realize like, it was so much more difficult getting off and on like I-76.

• 58:38Speaker 00

  And no one's letting you in, but like, just like loop arounds and shit. And I have no idea where I am ever.

• 58:43Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's something, that's what I'm saying.

• 58:45Speaker 00

  I put GPS in, I'm 100% relying on it. With zero frame of reference.

• 58:50Matt McCusker?

  Dude, it took me. Yeah, it took me like five months to be able to drive anywhere without a GPS and I would come by you with, I would like, you would think I was like Lewis and Clark. I'd be like, bro, I can't believe I just made it to the grocery store by myself. This is crazy.

• 59:03Speaker 00

  Even that, like, we don't know where to get groceries. Like, we're trying to figure all that shit out.

• 59:06Matt McCusker?

  That's kind of fun, though, because then you have to find a new little spot and find this and that and blah, blah, blah.

• 59:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, we'll be doing that for a while.

• 59:12Matt McCusker?

  It'll be chill.

• 59:13Speaker 00

  I get chill.

• 59:14Matt McCusker?

  It's got to, that's what I've learned. Keeping the babe steady for sure is like the key. I had to keep.

• 59:19Speaker 00

  So I do every morning. I wake up, I'm like.

• 59:21Matt McCusker?

  Got to steady the babe.

• 59:23Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 59:24Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 59:24Speaker 00

  Thank you for bringing us here.

• 59:25Matt McCusker?

  Do the best.

• 59:26Speaker 00

  You're working your magic right now. You don't even understand.

• 59:28Matt McCusker?

  Girl, you are magic. Mama, you got this.

• 59:34Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you gotta keep the babes good, man.

• 59:36Speaker 00

  That's step one. The kids are chill. The kids are like.

• 59:38Matt McCusker?

  Kids don't give a fuck about anything.

• 59:40Speaker 00

  Having boxes everywhere is cool.

• 59:41Matt McCusker?

  Dude, they think it's, it's, it's.

• 59:43Speaker 00

  They just live for excitement. I walked, I walked out this morning and Maggie was just dancing to Mexican music out front.

• 59:48Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 59:49Speaker 00

  Just chill. And she's like, dude, this is nice. You're standing a bunch, like a bunch of empty boxes, just dancing to like cumbia music.

• 59:55Matt McCusker?

  They don't give a fuck at all. When they took all of our stuff out of our house when we moved, I remember like sitting the kids down and being like, guys, it's really important. I go away and do shows. I have to do this so we get stuff. And they took all my shit out of my house and they're like, this is awesome. And I was like, fuck.

• 1:00:10Speaker 00

  You don't want any.

• 1:00:11Matt McCusker?

  Your father's an egomaniac. Sorry, guys.

• 1:00:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, they're chilling. I think they'll like it a lot down here.

• 1:00:17Matt McCusker?

  They will. They'll, it's, Maya would complain all the time. She'll go, it's too hot. I'm like, shut up. You'll be fine.

• 1:00:23Speaker 00

  And where we were living, just nothing, like especially for them, it's so boring.

• 1:00:28Matt McCusker?

  It is, but yeah.

• 1:00:28Speaker 00

  Like Philadelphia suburbs, like unless you're in, they're homeschooled, so they're not in like the, the run of the mill.

• 1:00:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:36Speaker 00

  It's just every day, they're just like, yo, what are we doing today?

• 1:00:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:39Speaker 00

  They would just roll with me.

• 1:00:39Matt McCusker?

  You're not playing like traveling lacrosse. It's like, there's not really.

• 1:00:43Speaker 00

  And luckily they're young enough where they hadn't hit that serious wave yet. But down here, like they're going to some river school tomorrow for the day. Like there's tons of shit.

• 1:00:50Matt McCusker?

  It's gonna fucking rock.

• 1:00:51Speaker 00

  Tons of chill people.

• 1:00:52Matt McCusker?

  River school's gonna be bumping tomorrow.

• 1:00:54Speaker 00

  Even like, when we were saying hi to dogs yesterday with the kids, everyone's so nice.

• 1:00:59Matt McCusker?

  I know.

• 1:00:59Speaker 00

  Whereas like where we were, it's like, hey, can we say hi to your dog? And they were like, get down, squat, put your hand out, let him sniff you for it. I'm like, shut up. Don't, and they immediately start giving your kid the download on like how to approach a dog. And you're like, first of all, I'm assuming he's friendly.

• 1:01:14Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:15Speaker 00

  Why the fuck would you bring into a kid's playground? Second, like, shut up.

• 1:01:19Matt McCusker?

  I, I.

• 1:01:19Speaker 00

  It's such a happy moment. And you're like, I'm gonna tell you now. It's like, dude, just fuck.

• 1:01:24Matt McCusker?

  But I get audibly angry whenever they're like, we pet your dog. And a guy back, I prefer you didn't. And I'm like, you motherfucking bitch. I swear to fu, I get, Brittany's like, he's right.

• 1:01:32Speaker 00

  But like, my thing is you have a kid approaching to pet your dog, right?

• 1:01:36Matt McCusker?

  I get so mad, dude. Pisses me off.

• 1:01:38Speaker 00

  All you have to say is, I get mad when people don't match kids vibe.

• 1:01:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:42Speaker 00

  Like that. So it's like, I pet your dog? No. It's like, fuck you. Just be like, he has the, the diarrhea's right now. The kid will be like, ha, ha, ha, dog diarrhea. And you're like, don't touch him.

• 1:01:50Matt McCusker?

  Dude, we had it. There was a dog the other day. I saw, I saw a dog the other day, full muzzle. It's like, bro, get rid of that fucking thing. You're walking a dog on like a fucking Hannibal.

• 1:01:59Speaker 00

  It's like having a car you have to tow everywhere. You got a bad one, bro.

• 1:02:03Matt McCusker?

  Dude, it's.

• 1:02:04Speaker 00

  Ship him off.

• 1:02:05Matt McCusker?

  Maya was like, why is he, why does he have that? I'm like, it might bite someone. I don't, why would you have that? I'm like, my.

• 1:02:10Speaker 00

  Some people are just nuts too, though.

• 1:02:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 1:02:12Speaker 00

  They're just like liability ads where they're like, I don't want to take a chance. Dude, good luck in life.

• 1:02:17Matt McCusker?

  That shit chaps my ass. When I prefer you didn't pet him, actually. It's like, okay, all right.

• 1:02:22Speaker 00

  Way to chill.

• 1:02:23Matt McCusker?

  And then I look like an asshole walking by like fucking bitch.

• 1:02:26Speaker 00

  I don't.

• 1:02:26Matt McCusker?

  Maya's like, that's a bad word. I'm like, Maya, shut up. All right. It's pissing me off.

• 1:02:30Speaker 00

  I don't get any of that in old Austin.

• 1:02:32Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, no, man, come on. Jeez.

• 1:02:37Matt McCusker?

  I'm a new Austin. I love the domain. I like new Austin.

• 1:02:40Speaker 00

  I don't know where any, you could drop me, tell me it's old Austin, like obviously.

• 1:02:44Matt McCusker?

  You would puke in the domain.

• 1:02:45Speaker 00

  Is it chill?

• 1:02:46Matt McCusker?

  I like it.

• 1:02:47Speaker 00

  What is it?

• 1:02:48Matt McCusker?

  Uh, do you like modern retail?

• 1:02:49Speaker 00

  Nah.

• 1:02:50Matt McCusker?

  And sleek apartment housing above it?

• 1:02:55Speaker 00

  I don't not like it. I'm on some new shit where I'm trying to not, not like anything.

• 1:03:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:01Speaker 00

  It's just if I'm not into it, I just don't let it enter.

• 1:03:03Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you just go out.

• 1:03:05Speaker 00

  Okay, it's not for me. I'm not gonna actively not like, it's like no dog mentality. It's like my new mentality. If there's something that doesn't resonate with me, I'm just going to like, I'm, I love that that exists.

• 1:03:17Matt McCusker?

  It's a good move.

• 1:03:18Speaker 00

  Rather than be like, cause I realized back east, I spent most of my time talking to Dana about how much I hated shit.

• 1:03:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 1:03:23Speaker 00

  Dude, you know what I fucking hate? Subarus.

• 1:03:27Speaker 00

  Why did I just talk about that for an hour? Like, I'm not gonna buy one, just let them go. They don't affect me. You know, like, you know what I fucking hate? Work from home people.

• 1:03:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:36Speaker 00

  Why?

• 1:03:37Matt McCusker?

  Why? Why? Why would you even think about it?

• 1:03:39Speaker 00

  It was just east coast bullshit, dude. It's like you get caught up. I was out in California. I was like 20. I remember I was gonna move out there with these pot dealer, or these like pot growers, cause, and the dude was like, dude, go home, get your shit together. Don't get caught up in the east coast bullshit. Get right back out here.

• 1:03:53Matt McCusker?

  Damn.

• 1:03:54Speaker 00

  He told me this like 24 years ago.

• 1:03:55Matt McCusker?

  Caught up in the east coast.

• 1:03:56Speaker 00

  Caught up in ECBS for 24 years.

• 1:03:59Matt McCusker?

  You got caught up in ECBS.

• 1:04:01Speaker 00

  Excuse me. I came back and was like, yo, deuces, I'm going out to Tahoe to grow weed. And then like slowly.

• 1:04:07Matt McCusker?

  I vaguely remember this.

• 1:04:08Speaker 00

  I was gone.

• 1:04:09Matt McCusker?

  How'd you get caught up in the ECBS?

• 1:04:10Speaker 00

  It gets you, dude. It's like a spider web.

• 1:04:12Matt McCusker?

  I, dude, I.

• 1:04:13Speaker 00

  Slide back in, you're trying to parallel parks, start fighting with your guy. 24 years go by.

• 1:04:19Matt McCusker?

  I had a similar tale. I was gonna move to Brazil.

• 1:04:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:04:22Matt McCusker?

  My goal was to grow weed, cash in, move to Brazil. I got caught up in the ECBS.

• 1:04:26Speaker 00

  Dude, it gets you, dude.

• 1:04:27Matt McCusker?

  Forever, bro. I don't even know what happened.

• 1:04:28Speaker 00

  Thick. You don't even know.

• 1:04:29Matt McCusker?

  My, my, my crop failed, though.

• 1:04:31Speaker 00

  Still, though.

• 1:04:32Matt McCusker?

  I put weed, I put a weed plant under your basement. Yeah, I put it in the basement thinking you could just put a light on it and walk away and come back three months later to dense foliage.

• 1:04:39Speaker 00

  I always.

• 1:04:41Matt McCusker?

  Not the case. Not the case.

• 1:04:42Speaker 00

  I always assumed growing weed was the easiest thing in the world.

• 1:04:45Matt McCusker?

  So hard.

• 1:04:46Speaker 00

  Because I was like, exposed to the propaganda that weed growers were like the biggest losers in the world. Like growing up was like, the guy probably grows weed, plays video games. And then when I got into it, I was like, this is the most refined art there is.

• 1:04:58Matt McCusker?

  It's so hard.

• 1:04:59Speaker 00

  It's so hard. And you can, you can unravel a multitude of like tricks and like terpenes and light profiles. And it's like, it's the most respectable.

• 1:05:11Matt McCusker?

  It is.

• 1:05:11Speaker 00

  Craft.

• 1:05:12Matt McCusker?

  Especially if you get into like, yeah, fucking genetics and breeding and crossbreeding and all that stuff.

• 1:05:17Speaker 00

  And people like craft beer, I think is for fucking, craft beer's the dumbest shit you can do.

• 1:05:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's not as, it's not as refined at all.

• 1:05:24Speaker 00

  It's not as refined. It's like, oh, I've used this different malt.

• 1:05:27Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you're pouring liquids together. You're pouring liquids together like a fucking toddler.

• 1:05:29Speaker 00

  You made oatmeal and let it fucking sit.

• 1:05:34Speaker 00

  Well, once again, I don't hate it. Cause it's like, dude, I don't drink craft beer.

• 1:05:37Matt McCusker?

  That's ECBS.

• 1:05:38Speaker 00

  It's ECBS to hate, to spend time hating shit that you're not even involved in.

• 1:05:42Matt McCusker?

  That's true.

• 1:05:43Speaker 00

  That's the, that's the pinnacle of ECBS.

• 1:05:45Matt McCusker?

  Ah, there might be some USBS, a little bit of USBS.

• 1:05:49Speaker 00

  That's true.

• 1:05:50Matt McCusker?

  A lot of people, a lot of people get into that, hating something they have nothing.

• 1:05:53Speaker 00

  Or just identifying with what they're not full time.

• 1:05:56Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 1:05:56Speaker 00

  It's like, dude, I'm not a lib.

• 1:05:58Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:59Speaker 00

  You might be kind of lit.

• 1:06:00Matt McCusker?

  You might be a little lit.

• 1:06:01Speaker 00

  Some of these ideas might be kicking a little.

• 1:06:05Matt McCusker?

  Yes, that could be, that's a tough thing to go.

• 1:06:07Speaker 00

  So I'm working on that, becoming the apex slacker.

• 1:06:09Matt McCusker?

  Apex slacker.

• 1:06:10Speaker 00

  When people see me, I'll be like, oh, that's, that's him.

• 1:06:12Matt McCusker?

  That's the dude.

• 1:06:12Speaker 00

  He's the top of the slack.

• 1:06:18Speaker 00

  I don't think he has a bank account.

• 1:06:23Speaker 00

  But like he somehow functions.

• 1:06:25Matt McCusker?

  That is nice.

• 1:06:26Speaker 00

  It's my goal.

• 1:06:27Matt McCusker?

  Also.

• 1:06:27Speaker 00

  Who is that dude? That's.

• 1:06:29Matt McCusker?

  There's a lot of, yeah, there's a lot of spots Dana can get to doing her music at, too.

• 1:06:32Speaker 00

  We're fully confident. Like, I told Dana, I'm like, dude, our dry board's like six hunz each.

• 1:06:38Matt McCusker?

  That's all she needs.

• 1:06:39Speaker 00

  We could definitely do that.

• 1:06:40Matt McCusker?

  Dude, one day, I mean, there's a, there's a nook in the airport. You can just plug in a guitar.

• 1:06:45Speaker 00

  Play it.

• 1:06:45Matt McCusker?

  I, I have big dreams, dude. I'm looking for a soft percussionist. I want to start like a soft percussion trio.

• 1:06:51Speaker 00

  That's.

• 1:06:51Matt McCusker?

  Get a couple acoustic guitars.

• 1:06:53Speaker 00

  Just get a piano, get an outdoor piano and start doing like.

• 1:06:55Matt McCusker?

  That'd be nice. The farmer's market here, someone does the, uh, big xylophones. They rip those.

• 1:07:00Speaker 00

  That's extra, but I hate all of them. I want a piano. I want to walk by and the guy's like halfway through Rocketman. I give him five bucks.

• 1:07:07Matt McCusker?

  True. I can't even play that yet, but that is, the xylophone is a little extra, especially when they do like four prongs in one hand. You're like, dude.

• 1:07:13Speaker 00

  Dude, it's cool that you can, but like I said.

• 1:07:15Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:15Speaker 00

  Doesn't resonate, dude. I love you. I love what you're doing. I'm not gonna spend time thinking.

• 1:07:21Matt McCusker?

  True, true, true.

• 1:07:21Speaker 00

  I'm just gonna keep moving and keep. I met a dude years ago, back when I was on my like capitalist grind. I went down to Florida and bought a motorcycle sight unseen. I bought like an old sports steer. I was like, fuck it. I'm just buying motorcycles. Yeah. I was riding around like the backwoods of Florida and it broke down. Some dude just randomly pulled over, right? And he was like. Yeah, let me get this thing running for it. Drain, did a bunch of like drain the gas, got me some fresh gas because it's probably bad gas if it's old.

• 1:07:51Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:51Speaker 00

  So I hopped in his truck, left the bike on the side of the road. We went to the gas station. He was drunk as fuck. He like bought another like chilada at the gas station.

• 1:07:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:00Speaker 00

  Drinking that comes back, gets my bike running. I'm like, bro, can I give you some money? He's like, I don't need any money, man. Cause they just promised me you'll never leave a stranded motorist anywhere. I was like, I promise you, brother.

• 1:08:09Matt McCusker?

  Damn.

• 1:08:09Speaker 00

  But I was like, what do you do down here? The dude lived in Florida, right? He was an alcoholic, drank most of the time, but his job was geezers would pay him to be like boots on the ground. So if they're like, yo, we got an Amazon pack and you can put it inside because it can't sit in the heat. He was the man who opened your door and put it in, made 60K a year.

• 1:08:28Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 1:08:28Speaker 00

  And then just drank all winter because.

• 1:08:30Matt McCusker?

  No one was there.

• 1:08:31Speaker 00

  Well, the geezers all came down. So he just hit the paint all winter.

• 1:08:36Speaker 00

  Sober up, do his job in the summer when it sucked out and then get back to chilling full time.

• 1:08:41Matt McCusker?

  It's kind of sick.

• 1:08:41Speaker 00

  I was telling him, my dude, when to get down here and just like, my dream job is to be like the dude who like shows people apartments. So like, I get some like young couple and they're like looking at apartment. I'm just like reading texts like, yeah, you like it?

• 1:08:56Matt McCusker?

  That's not bad.

• 1:08:56Speaker 00

  I don't give a fuck, you know?

• 1:08:58Matt McCusker?

  That's not a bad gig.

• 1:08:59Speaker 00

  Yeah. Fill out the applicant. Hold on. Yeah, I'll email you the application, guys, like.

• 1:09:05Matt McCusker?

  It's on Reddit.

• 1:09:07Speaker 00

  It's on Reddit, no kids, like fucking dorks.

• 1:09:12Speaker 00

  I was like, dude, I guarantee you can find jobs down here that are just like, oh, we need like a dude who's not always drunk. That can like show like young bubbly couples' houses that they might want to rent because they got a job with like Tesla. I was like, dude, I just go, don't.

• 1:09:29Speaker 00

  Look, we have dogs here. I'm like, I don't know. Read the application.

• 1:09:33Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, probably. I don't know.

• 1:09:34Speaker 00

  Or I'll just text and be like, go door code six nine two four.

• 1:09:37Matt McCusker?

  Easy.

• 1:09:38Speaker 00

  I'll be over there in 20 minutes.

• 1:09:40Matt McCusker?

  That's perfect. What would you rock? Would you, would you dress biz casual or just pretty leisure?

• 1:09:45Speaker 00

  Same thing.

• 1:09:45Matt McCusker?

  Same.

• 1:09:46Speaker 00

  Babe ponytail.

• 1:09:47Matt McCusker?

  Sick, actually.

• 1:09:48Speaker 00

  Babe ponytail, I might go ponytail clean stash. Tell them I'm old Austin. Yeah, it's change drop here.

• 1:09:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, this place used to be cool. That's still cool. It's just.

• 1:09:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 1:10:00Speaker 00

  Cooler.

• 1:10:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:03Matt McCusker?

  Dude, rainy street was crazy. I remember, yeah, 15 years ago.

• 1:10:07Speaker 00

  Crazy, I saw it.

• 1:10:08Matt McCusker?

  Nah, I'm all about it. Remove the height restrictions, build up, go up high, block city hall, block all that crap.

• 1:10:16Speaker 00

  I don't know.

• 1:10:16Matt McCusker?

  I want the terrafab just laid right in the middle of fucking Congress Avenue.

• 1:10:20Speaker 00

  Fully like Tesla.

• 1:10:21Matt McCusker?

  Hundred million square feet.

• 1:10:22Speaker 00

  Kitchens only.

• 1:10:22Matt McCusker?

  Robots.

• 1:10:23Speaker 00

  Only Waymos.

• 1:10:24Matt McCusker?

  Only Waymos, Rob. I'm a futurist.

• 1:10:26Speaker 00

  I'm into Waymo.

• 1:10:27Matt McCusker?

  Me too. Waymo rules.

• 1:10:29Speaker 00

  I think what we should do is like futurize cities. As far as we can, and then like you can have outskirts where you can get into the old ways.

• 1:10:37Matt McCusker?

  That's not bad.

• 1:10:37Speaker 00

  So you can go stay there as long as you need to, but when we get to the city and we're taking care of business, let's go full tech.

• 1:10:43Matt McCusker?

  Drone, every drone.

• 1:10:44Speaker 00

  Every, like make the cities as high tech as we possibly can. And then like, keep the outskirts so rural that as soon as you're like, damn dude, I just want to go like get stoned and live in the country. 20 minutes away.

• 1:10:56Matt McCusker?

  Go chill right there. That's not a bad idea.

• 1:10:58Speaker 00

  Milk a goat, do whatever the fuck you want.

• 1:11:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:00Speaker 00

  Back to the city, like.

• 1:11:01Matt McCusker?

  Back to business.

• 1:11:02Speaker 00

  Put your helmet on, like. All your biometric are tracked, like if you study chill beats, all about like lofi, study music automatically comes on your earpiece. Like you're tapped in when you go in the city. There's no, you don't think about a fucking thing.

• 1:11:19Speaker 00

  And then if you want to like go make a baby with your wife, go out to the fucking sticks.

• 1:11:25Speaker 00

  If you want to conceive in town, it's IVF only.

• 1:11:32Matt McCusker?

  You gotta dress like a stormtrooper.

• 1:11:35Speaker 00

  You hit the city, it's like folding chair pants.

• 1:11:38Matt McCusker?

  I forgot to wear them.

• 1:11:39Speaker 00

  Maya told me you had them.

• 1:11:40Matt McCusker?

  Fuck.

• 1:11:40Speaker 00

  She was kind of clown on you. She's like, she's like, oh, my dad has folding chair pants. They're so boring. They're just not. Well, like, yeah, you step into the city and it's like.

• 1:11:52Speaker 00

  Everything.

• 1:11:52Matt McCusker?

  I put on the, uh, so I got the.

• 1:11:55Speaker 00

  You don't even eat.

• 1:11:56Matt McCusker?

  He sent me the, Tom sent me the picture of the folding chair pants and I was like, I'm getting them right now. I'm going to get an exoskeleton. I'm getting an exoskeleton. I have 12 hundred off Amazon. You can get like a jogging exoskeleton. It's basically you'd be on like an elliptical in real life.

• 1:12:09Speaker 00

  You should be able to do all that in the city judgment free. And the city will be like, yo, why are you walking your dog? We have dog walkers.

• 1:12:15Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, what the fuck?

• 1:12:16Speaker 00

  The fuck are you doing? That's country shit.

• 1:12:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, there's a dog treadmill. Just put them on there.

• 1:12:19Speaker 00

  You come in, headset, work from home.

• 1:12:22Matt McCusker?

  Exoskeleton.

• 1:12:23Speaker 00

  Exoskeleton.

• 1:12:24Matt McCusker?

  Fighting with your wife.

• 1:12:26Speaker 00

  Texting your wife, like fucking everything's Alexa.

• 1:12:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:30Speaker 00

  Uh, what time do my kids get Alexa?

• 1:12:32Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, Alexa, what?

• 1:12:33Speaker 00

  Put on my kids lullaby. Alexa, start the bath water. Everything's like boom. And then you got to country. It's like, yo, dad, I've, I've missed you. It's like, yeah, city just is what it is. I don't tuck you in in city limits. Like it's.

• 1:12:46Speaker 00

  You go in your pod, I go in my pod, optimal temp.

• 1:12:50Speaker 00

  We're tapped in, but you're getting everything done. You know what I mean? Like the productivity is through the fucking roof.

• 1:12:57Matt McCusker?

  I'd have like 40 AI agents firing off 7,000 emails.

• 1:13:01Speaker 00

  Fight with your wife through AI.

• 1:13:05Matt McCusker?

  I was laughing about getting the AI agent. He's like, yeah, dude, it sends emails. It's like, to who, dude?

• 1:13:10Speaker 00

  Other AI agents? But dude, let the cities rip and do that.

• 1:13:13Matt McCusker?

  True, go crazy.

• 1:13:14Speaker 00

  That's what most people's work from home jobs are.

• 1:13:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:17Speaker 00

  It's like, oh, you didn't send that email in on time to the email, email, emailed email. Like it's just, they're not doing anything.

• 1:13:23Matt McCusker?

  Bullshit.

• 1:13:23Speaker 00

  You're working from home. You're really doing anything.

• 1:13:26Matt McCusker?

  You're, you're not, and you're not as tapped in, you're not as locked in as you should be.

• 1:13:29Speaker 00

  No, but I'm saying take that.

• 1:13:32Matt McCusker?

  Providial exoskeleton. AI, AI agents. Yes, Tim, AI agents. And then you just fucking fire them off.

• 1:13:40Speaker 00

  Stim.

• 1:13:41Matt McCusker?

  40,000 emails to your department. They have their, they like filter your emails, send you a blast through the firewall.

• 1:13:47Speaker 00

  Like everyone who's ever bought anything off you gets an email about that thing they bought off you. Gets the backstory. It's just like your AI agent sends your backstory to everyone immediately. Like I'm Matt McCusker. Here's where I came from. They're like, oh, cool. I got that backstory email done.

• 1:14:01Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I wore the, I wore the chair pants for Maya thinking she would laugh. I put them on and she was like, uh, take those off.

• 1:14:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, she called me. She called me to clown on you. She's like, yeah, my dad's got chair pants.

• 1:14:12Matt McCusker?

  Cry, dude. I put them on and she saw, I, she saw me like, cause I was putting them on. You just, I like, I finally got it. My legs are all strapped up with all the stuff and I, I finally sit, but I'm like trying, I'm like adjusting them. I almost fell over. And I see her look at me and she was like, it's take, take those off, dad. And I think, I think like it downloaded into her, but you know, like when you're a kid, you're like, my dad's like super, so smart and I think that's like a fucking six year old. I think as a six year old dad died in her and she went, oh, this guy's a fucking idiot.

• 1:14:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:14:40Matt McCusker?

  And then she started to cry and I was like, well, I'll take them off. I'm sorry. I'm just, I'm just kidding around.

• 1:14:45Speaker 00

  She got that memo like 20 years early.

• 1:14:47Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it was, I was like, fuck, that's on me. I thought she would think it was funny.

• 1:14:51Speaker 00

  The natural progression is like, my dad's the coolest. He's the smartest. Then you hit like 20 and you're like, my dad doesn't know anything. And then you have a kid and you're like, I owe this guy.

• 1:14:58Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm out. I'm going to have to work back into her good graces. The chair pants dude fucked her up. She's like.

• 1:15:06Matt McCusker?

  He said they're boring.

• 1:15:08Speaker 00

  Sometimes I'll be like hanging with dad and I look back on all the times where he was like, oh, let me show you how to do this. And I was like, let me show you how to do this. Fuck off. Like I'm going to go play in the creek, dork. I was like 19. He was like trying to show me how to like do car stuff. I'm like.

• 1:15:20Matt McCusker?

  I know.

• 1:15:21Speaker 00

  Dork.

• 1:15:22Matt McCusker?

  I was thinking about that. I was like, I never learned about car stuff, but I definitely would be like, later dude.

• 1:15:26Speaker 00

  Later dude, like I'm going to go do anything besides chill with you. Like I look back, I'm like, dude, if Matt did that to me, I'd be gutted for like a week. My boy doesn't want to chill with me. My boy thinks I'm a dork.

• 1:15:35Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 1:15:36Speaker 00

  Is what it is.

• 1:15:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it was, it was definitely that. I never, I never got to learn car stuff. I'd see him in the garage and be like, yeah, I'm going to walk around the other way. Fucking dip. I got, I got a case of beer. I'm working out a case of beer right now.

• 1:15:48Speaker 00

  I'm trying to get some weed. I'm getting the fuck out of here.

• 1:15:50Matt McCusker?

  Fucking gay as hell about me smoking weed. I'm outie.

• 1:15:55Matt McCusker?

  Dude, thanks for coming.

• 1:15:56Speaker 00

  All right, dude. Thanks for having me.

• 1:15:58Matt McCusker?

  We did it.

• 1:15:59Speaker 00

  Let's go.

• 1:16:00Matt McCusker?

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• 1:16:38Speaker 07

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• 1:16:51Speaker 06

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