Pretty Little Episode #55

Tig and Fortune dole out some advice and take a question from the Handsome listener voted "most attractive" on a little episode voted "most pretty"! Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit your questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepod http://speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepodThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:04Mae Martin?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking whether I brought my sunglasses before driving west at the end of the day? A learning moment. I'm gaining confidence in my driving, but it helps when I'm not blinded by the sun beaming directly into my eyeballs.

• 0:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 0:35Mae Martin?

  Handsome is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online with a handy, handsome website you can be proud of and show off to all your friends, clients, and loved ones. With Squarespace, you can scale up your business, claim your domain, and showcase your offerings with a premium, professional website.

• 0:53Fortune Feimster?

  With Squarespace's cutting-edge design tools, you can build a gorgeous online presence that perfectly fits your brand or business. Their SEO tools help your ideal audience find you. Since every dream needs a domain, Squarespace makes it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all-inclusive price. No hidden fees, no required add-ons. Squarespace offers countless extras like built-in donation tools for fundraising, and online payments and invoicing to help you get paid on time. Squarespace makes it easy. So easy, we even made a handsome website ourselves in less than 20 minutes.

• 1:25Mae Martin?

  So what are you waiting for? Get started on your dream website today. Head to Squarespace.com/handsome for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code HANSOME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 1:38Speaker 00

  Handsome. Chat with friends on the Handsome Pod. Chat with friends on the Handsome Pod. Pretty little episode.

• 1:50Tig Notaro?

  Welcome to the Handsome Pods prelude episode.

• 1:55Fortune Feimster?

  It's Fortune.

• 1:56Tig Notaro?

  And it's Tig. I started to hear the theme song for just a second and then it went away.

• 2:04Fortune Feimster?

  And then it went away. It didn't want you bopping your head along to the music.

• 2:08Tig Notaro?

  It did not. How's it going Fortune, theme star?

• 2:12Fortune Feimster?

  It's going pretty good. I am in North Carolina.

• 2:16Tig Notaro?

  Okay. How's Ginger?

• 2:18Fortune Feimster?

  My mom. She's good. She's, I'm gonna go to chemo with her tomorrow. She has some appointments today. I'm just driving her like Miss Daisy.

• 2:29Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 2:29Fortune Feimster?

  And, uh, yeah, I was in Montreal this weekend. Uh, May was there as well.

• 2:36Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. I was almost there.

• 2:38Fortune Feimster?

  You were almost there. People kept asking us, your plane art canceled, something like that?

• 2:43Tig Notaro?

  Well, there was a, uh, what is it? Ground stop or something in Denver? Yeah, so, uh, yeah.

• 2:52Fortune Feimster?

  What's a ground? Oh, like, does everything shut down or something?

• 2:56Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:58Fortune Feimster?

  Well, that's a bummer.

• 2:59Tig Notaro?

  Anyway, how was Montreal? Yeah, I was bummed to miss it.

• 3:03Fortune Feimster?

  Um, it was great. Handsome got podcast of the year at Just for Laughs.

• 3:07Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, we did.

• 3:09Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. So I'm sure we'll mention that on the, the main pod, but, um, yo, May and I were, uh, there and accepted the award on all of our behalf. And, uh, it was fun. And then I did May's show that night. Uh, so we had a two-thirds handsome situation going on.

• 3:30Tig Notaro?

  Amazing.

• 3:31Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. It was a week of hosting. I hosted Jimmy Kimmel for a couple nights.

• 3:36Tig Notaro?

  Right. How was that?

• 3:37Fortune Feimster?

  It was super fun. I wore suits every night, keeping it handsome.

• 3:42Tig Notaro?

  Oh, I bet. I saw like a picture, video or something, um, and you looked quite sharp.

• 3:50Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, thanks.

• 3:51Tig Notaro?

  And quite, um,

• 3:54Tig Notaro?

  Fit.

• 3:55Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, well, that's sweet.

• 3:57Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I mean, I know you you're a full blown gun show these days.

• 4:03Fortune Feimster?

  I've been trying to be better about it. I was eating a lot this week, though, because I was.

• 4:07Tig Notaro?

  You're hungry.

• 4:09Fortune Feimster?

  Hungry and working all day every day.

• 4:10Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 4:11Fortune Feimster?

  But I I had a blast. It was so fun to get to like dip my toe in that world.

• 4:19Tig Notaro?

  What did you enjoy the most?

• 4:21Fortune Feimster?

  My mom got to be on the show, which was really cool.

• 4:24Tig Notaro?

  She is becoming a full blown star.

• 4:27Fortune Feimster?

  I know.

• 4:28Tig Notaro?

  Is she flying private yet?

• 4:30Fortune Feimster?

  Not yet. That's not happening. They had a last minute cancellation and someone brought it up and.

• 4:38Tig Notaro?

  Wow.

• 4:39Fortune Feimster?

  I floated it past her and she was like, absolutely. So she literally did like five hours of chemo. And then got on a flight that night.

• 4:50Tig Notaro?

  Whoa.

• 4:51Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, but had the time of her life.

• 4:54Tig Notaro?

  You're both workhorses.

• 4:56Fortune Feimster?

  That's right. She got so much good. So many people wrote her about it and Arnold Schwarzenegger was the other guest that night. And he brought out flowers to her. It was a really sweet moment.

• 5:08Tig Notaro?

  That's nice.

• 5:09Fortune Feimster?

  And then I interviewed Mariah Carey, which was quite the treat.

• 5:15Tig Notaro?

  Are you a fan?

• 5:16Fortune Feimster?

  I love her. She is a diva in the best ways and just, you know, so mysterious and iconic. And I just felt like I was living the dream of every gay man in the world. And I.

• 5:31Tig Notaro?

  Wait, okay, go ahead.

• 5:32Fortune Feimster?

  Loved it. I've commented on her boobs.

• 5:36Tig Notaro?

  On the show?

• 5:37Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, they were, take, they were so prevalent. You couldn't not mention them.

• 5:45Tig Notaro?

  I would not have mentioned them.

• 5:47Fortune Feimster?

  I did it. It was a fun playful way. I was just like, your boobs are look great.

• 5:55Tig Notaro?

  Now, wait a minute. That's not very mysterious of her to have your boobs out.

• 6:00Fortune Feimster?

  The boobs were not mysterious for sure.

• 6:02Tig Notaro?

  What is mysterious? What is mysterious about her?

• 6:05Fortune Feimster?

  She's just an enigma. You know, like, you don't ever really know what she's doing and, you know, why she's doing it. Cause she's Mariah.

• 6:16Fortune Feimster?

  She's infamous for her episode of Cribs where she wore high heels on a Stairmaster. She just does things you don't expect.

• 6:25Tig Notaro?

  I've heard that she's famously late.

• 6:28Fortune Feimster?

  She was late.

• 6:29Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I heard, I've heard that she is outrageously late.

• 6:34Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I think every concert definitely starts like several hours late.

• 6:38Tig Notaro?

  But even meetings, I've heard.

• 6:39Fortune Feimster?

  Yes.

• 6:40Tig Notaro?

  I've heard that she shows up or like interviews. I've heard that like she doesn't come downstairs maybe for a few hours.

• 6:49Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, she was late, but we were told she would be late. So everyone was prepped for it, but not as late as she could have, as she could have been.

• 7:00Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 7:00Fortune Feimster?

  It was reasonable.

• 7:02Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 7:02Fortune Feimster?

  I had a fun interview with her and afterward she told me it was the funniest interview she's had in decades.

• 7:08Tig Notaro?

  Oh, that's amazing.

• 7:10Fortune Feimster?

  So, yeah, we really hit it off.

• 7:12Tig Notaro?

  And let, let me go back and ask you, what is reasonably late?

• 7:16Fortune Feimster?

  I think her call time was three and she got there at 4:30.

• 7:19Tig Notaro?

  Okay, that's reasonable.

• 7:22Fortune Feimster?

  Show started taping at four.

• 7:26Fortune Feimster?

  I think we held 10 minutes. So essentially in her mind, she was on time.

• 7:32Tig Notaro?

  She was early. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 7:35Fortune Feimster?

  But it was, she was a trip. I was, I was honored that she even said yes, because you know, sometimes.

• 7:45Tig Notaro?

  They want the host.

• 7:46Fortune Feimster?

  They want the host because the, you know, they're a big star.

• 7:48Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 7:50Fortune Feimster?

  She, I don't think she knew of me. And she took a chance and did it and had a blast. And after the show, she, I went in her dressing room and chatted with her and she was so fun and was like, what are you, what's, what are you in next? I gotta look up, you know, your next movie or whatever. And she just was really cool.

• 8:11Tig Notaro?

  Nice. Did you tell her about handsome?

• 8:14Fortune Feimster?

  I didn't. I should have.

• 8:16Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 8:17Fortune Feimster?

  I felt like if I tried to explain to her and then ask her for a question, she was like, girl, get out of here.

• 8:25Tig Notaro?

  And you'd be like, well, at least you got my gender right.

• 8:28Fortune Feimster?

  That's true.

• 8:31Fortune Feimster?

  But, uh, yeah, it was a, it was a good week.

• 8:33Tig Notaro?

  I was only asking what is reasonably late. Um, just because I think you remember I told you about, I was three minutes late to somebody's show once and they were really upset with me.

• 8:46Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, that's an unreasonable thing to be mad about. Not an unreasonably late time.

• 8:53Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. So I was just curious if you were gonna say, she was three minutes late.

• 8:58Fortune Feimster?

  No, she was an hour and a half.

• 9:01Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 9:02Fortune Feimster?

  Arnold, on the other hand, hit the show taped at four and they asked him to be at rehearsal at two and he was there at two.

• 9:11Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 9:12Fortune Feimster?

  And, uh, you know, most big movie stars like that would be like, I'm not coming to rehearsal.

• 9:18Tig Notaro?

  Uh huh.

• 9:18Fortune Feimster?

  And he, cause he was part of the monologue as well.

• 9:21Tig Notaro?

  I see. Okay.

• 9:22Fortune Feimster?

  So it was fun.

• 9:24Tig Notaro?

  Well, good. I'm glad it was a good time.

• 9:27Fortune Feimster?

  I appreciate it.

• 9:28Tig Notaro?

  And then like, what about late night and hosting late night? Are you like, ooh, I like this?

• 9:35Fortune Feimster?

  I liked it a lot.

• 9:37Tig Notaro?

  But like, what specific, were you like, oh, I like the monologue the most or, oh, I loved the, uh, sitting down talking to the guests or, oh, I thought run through was really fun or,

• 9:46Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 9:47Tig Notaro?

  you know?

• 9:48Fortune Feimster?

  Well, Jimmy's staff is so lovely and,

• 9:51Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 9:51Fortune Feimster?

  and fun and positive that the days were very, felt very easy.

• 9:56Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm.

• 9:56Fortune Feimster?

  Um, I mean, I was nervous for sure, but they made me feel like well taken care of.

• 10:02Tig Notaro?

  Did you feel nervous when you were taping or when you're doing?

• 10:05Fortune Feimster?

  A little bit when I first started the monologue, but then I got much looser as the week went on. You know, it's just the, the monologue I really enjoy is just getting that. Reading the teleprompter down.

• 10:19Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm. Yeah.

• 10:20Fortune Feimster?

  The interviews are fun, but they are a lot more to juggle. And you're just trying to like, listen to the people, you're trying to think of the next question, listen to their answer.

• 10:30Tig Notaro?

  You're trying to care about what they're saying.

• 10:32Fortune Feimster?

  Yes. And watch the time to make sure you wrap it up. Or you have to either get enough or wrap it up. So it's just a little bit more moving parts. So I'd say the monologue is the most fun.

• 10:47Tig Notaro?

  Nice. Do you want your own talk show?

• 10:50Fortune Feimster?

  Um, I would not be opposed to it. I don't, I don't know that late nights, how much of a future it has.

• 10:57Tig Notaro?

  Right.

• 10:58Fortune Feimster?

  With Colbert getting canceled, that feels, feels like the beginning of some tide turning.

• 11:06Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 11:07Fortune Feimster?

  But it was really fun to get to try.

• 11:10Tig Notaro?

  Well, great. Congrats again.

• 11:12Fortune Feimster?

  Should we get to some questions?

• 11:15Tig Notaro?

  I think we should get to some questions. I mean, that's why we're here. So why not give the people what they want?

• 11:21Fortune Feimster?

  Let's do it.

• 11:22Speaker 04

  Hi, my handsome betas. This is Star, like twinkle, twinkle. So you know how in the high school yearbook, people vote for class clown or best hair or most likely to? What category did you want to win in high school? And what category would you want to win today? Feel free to make up new categories for today's yearbook.

• 11:45Tig Notaro?

  Huh. Well, I only made it to ninth grade.

• 11:52Fortune Feimster?

  Stop bragging.

• 11:55Tig Notaro?

  I only made it to ninth grade and I dropped out. So I probably deep down wanted to be voted funniest. But in a really funny twist, my best friend.

• 12:12Fortune Feimster?

  Got that?

• 12:12Tig Notaro?

  Got that. Yeah.

• 12:13Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, wow.

• 12:14Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Mm hmm. And I think she would admit, I'm funnier than her.

• 12:20Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I mean, you are a professional comedian now, so that's not hard to believe.

• 12:26Tig Notaro?

  I know. I just, I don't want to say it at a regular level, you know? Cause she does listen to this podcast from time to time.

• 12:34Fortune Feimster?

  Well, you took yourself out of the running by quitting school.

• 12:39Tig Notaro?

  Failing and dropping out.

• 12:42Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 12:42Tig Notaro?

  Thomas, did I tell you that Beth won the funniest person?

• 12:46Speaker 05

  No, I don't think I knew that. That's funny.

• 12:51Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I mean, Beth is a very fun, funny, great sense of humor person, but I don't think anybody was like, this one's a clown right here.

• 13:00Fortune Feimster?

  Right.

• 13:00Tig Notaro?

  Because she's so like, just a good, also a very good person and like earnest and kind and you know, not that you can't be that, but she just made good grades. She, you know, she just always excels and does the right thing. And, um, and I was not. And, um, anyway, it was a funny twist in our friendship.

• 13:28Fortune Feimster?

  That is a twist.

• 13:30Tig Notaro?

  She got it. Um, but, uh, there you are.

• 13:34Fortune Feimster?

  I actually was voted, uh, wittiest, which is our version of funniest.

• 13:39Tig Notaro?

  Oh, so you got the grand prize.

• 13:41Fortune Feimster?

  I got the grand prize. I actually was voted too. I was voted wittiest and most athletic. And they asked, told me to choose.

• 13:50Tig Notaro?

  Wow, fortune, overachiever.

• 13:53Fortune Feimster?

  I thought, well, I, I even at the time, I was like, I would rather be known as being funny than being athletic.

• 14:01Tig Notaro?

  And why is that?

• 14:02Fortune Feimster?

  Because back then I thought, well, clearly everyone knows I'm athletic. Whereas now, everyone was like, well, we know you're funny. We didn't know you were athletic.

• 14:11Tig Notaro?

  And what were your, um, soccer? Is that what, what, was that one of your scores?

• 14:16Fortune Feimster?

  Played, uh, soccer was one of my sports. I didn't play in high school though.

• 14:20Tig Notaro?

  Softball?

• 14:21Fortune Feimster?

  Softball, basketball and tennis.

• 14:24Tig Notaro?

  My God. No wonder you got those calves.

• 14:28Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, these calves have been popping my whole life.

• 14:31Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:32Fortune Feimster?

  So, yeah, I, uh, I got those superlative, that superlative then, but if I had to choose one now.

• 14:39Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm.

• 14:40Fortune Feimster?

  Would you, do you have one that you could think of now?

• 14:43Tig Notaro?

  Oh, I just remembered a joke from the first year I started doing stand up. I, I used to make a joke that I was voted in, in high school, I was voted least likely. Just least likely.

• 14:58Tig Notaro?

  That's the end of the joke.

• 14:59Fortune Feimster?

  That's it.

• 15:04Tig Notaro?

  Maybe I'll bring that back.

• 15:11Tig Notaro?

  What would I want now?

• 15:15Tig Notaro?

  Most likely to live to be 100.

• 15:22Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, nice. I like that.

• 15:24Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Well, I don't know if I told you, but Stephanie said she wants to die together.

• 15:29Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 15:29Tig Notaro?

  And I told her, I'm 15 years older, so I have bad news. You're for sure going to die alone. And, um, and I said, but the good news is you can start dating. You'll have a whole new life. And, and she was like, no, we have to die together. So you can do it. And so that kind of did kickstart me wanting to like, really take care of myself.

• 15:51Fortune Feimster?

  Want to live.

• 15:52Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. And, um, so I want to see if I can just, how far I can go. But, uh, so her, she's, her goal in life is always to, to live to be 100. And I said, well, if I have to live to be 100, you have to live to be 115. So.

• 16:08Fortune Feimster?

  That's true.

• 16:09Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 16:10Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 16:11Tig Notaro?

  I saw you crunching those numbers.

• 16:12Fortune Feimster?

  I know. I was like, yeah. Okay. Okay.

• 16:16Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 16:16Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I like it. I like that y'all love each other that much. But she can't bear the thought of being on earth without you. That's very romantic.

• 16:27Tig Notaro?

  What are we going to do? Just both have a heart attack at this, on the same day?

• 16:31Fortune Feimster?

  There are some couples that like, well, even Sarah Silverman's dad and her stepmom, wasn't it like, pretty soon?

• 16:40Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 16:41Fortune Feimster?

  But there are some couples that like, have been together so long that when one dies, the other one's just like, I'm out.

• 16:48Tig Notaro?

  Yep.

• 16:49Fortune Feimster?

  This is it. And they just die a couple of days apart.

• 16:52Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 16:54Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I love that superlative. I would maybe the, the, the one that's the most on the nose would be best gams.

• 17:02Tig Notaro?

  Oh, yeah, of course.

• 17:04Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, I would want, I would hope that I would win that superlative.

• 17:08Tig Notaro?

  You would.

• 17:09Fortune Feimster?

  For best gams.

• 17:10Tig Notaro?

  Well, then I would win best dumpster tits.

• 17:16Fortune Feimster?

  But I think the superlative for our podcast would probably be someone winning most handsome.

• 17:22Tig Notaro?

  Hmm, or best guns.

• 17:24Fortune Feimster?

  Hmm.

• 17:25Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I think we should all three wrestle at once.

• 17:28Fortune Feimster?

  We should, this sounds.

• 17:30Tig Notaro?

  Put it on the list, Thomas.

• 17:32Fortune Feimster?

  For our.

• 17:34Tig Notaro?

  For my back.

• 17:37Fortune Feimster?

  The three of us just wrestling is wild.

• 17:41Tig Notaro?

  Mud wrestling. Mud wrestling, Thomas.

• 17:46Fortune Feimster?

  Wrestling, please.

• 17:47Tig Notaro?

  In bikinis, put it on.

• 17:50Fortune Feimster?

  No, thank you.

• 17:51Tig Notaro?

  Yes.

• 17:51Fortune Feimster?

  You and Megan being bikinis.

• 17:54Tig Notaro?

  You can be.

• 17:55Fortune Feimster?

  Well, May would be top, May would be topless.

• 17:57Tig Notaro?

  So would I.

• 17:58Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yeah, dumpster tits would be topless, too.

• 18:01Tig Notaro?

  Hey, don't call me that. And then you would be in a sexy bikini.

• 18:06Fortune Feimster?

  I am not gonna be in a bikini.

• 18:08Tig Notaro?

  Yes, you are.

• 18:09Fortune Feimster?

  I will definitely have my top on and it will be a full blown.

• 18:13Tig Notaro?

  For one second, and then it's coming off.

• 18:18Fortune Feimster?

  You'll be trying to rip it off. How dare you?

• 18:20Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, well.

• 18:22Fortune Feimster?

  God, this sounds highly sexual.

• 18:24Tig Notaro?

  Well, okay, you jumped a few steps here.

• 18:28Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, mud wrestle. Dude, I'm just mud wrestling with my friends.

• 18:33Tig Notaro?

  Nothing.

• 18:38Fortune Feimster?

  So funny. Well, one of these days, when we have our handsome, we'll have, we'll have to have a handsome cruise.

• 18:45Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 18:46Fortune Feimster?

  We'll go on a cruise and we'll ask the ship to provide a mud wrestling stage.

• 18:51Tig Notaro?

  When you said that, I pictured the three of us talking to the actual ship, like the outside, the outside of it docked. And I was saying, can you, should we hear what star, as in twinkle, twinkle, as I say?

• 19:04Fortune Feimster?

  Let's hear it.

• 19:06Tig Notaro?

  I won best looking, but I always wanted to be voted funniest.

• 19:11Speaker 04

  And in today's yearbook, I'd love to be voted most likely to die surrounded by 101 Dalmatians. Because dogs are the greatest. Love you guys.

• 19:25Tig Notaro?

  Uh, well, I thought you was gonna say surrounded by 101 year olds. I was like, well, I guess I can push it one more year. And second of all, Star, send in a photo, okay? You can't just be dropping, I'm the hottest one in my school and then not give us a peekaboo. Am I right?

• 19:45Fortune Feimster?

  I think Star wanted to ask us that question just to drop.

• 19:49Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 19:50Fortune Feimster?

  She was voted hottest in school.

• 19:52Tig Notaro?

  Sure.

• 19:53Fortune Feimster?

  Way to go, Star.

• 19:54Tig Notaro?

  What if I told you I won hottest in my school?

• 19:58Fortune Feimster?

  I would love that. I would be so happy to hear that.

• 20:04Tig Notaro?

  I, I.

• 20:05Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, look what someone sent my mom. They sent this to my mom, by the way. Not to me. It was to Ginger Feimster.

• 20:12Tig Notaro?

  Okay, Dyke. I can't see what's on the picture, though.

• 20:17Fortune Feimster?

  It's you.

• 20:18Tig Notaro?

  Oh, it is?

• 20:20Fortune Feimster?

  That's your picture.

• 20:21Tig Notaro?

  I have terrible eyesight.

• 20:23Fortune Feimster?

  Of you being very handsome.

• 20:25Tig Notaro?

  Yes, indeed. I was 19, 18, 19, right there.

• 20:29Fortune Feimster?

  I could see, I could see this gal getting voted hottest.

• 20:34Tig Notaro?

  Wait, why does it say, okay, Dyke, comma?

• 20:37Fortune Feimster?

  Let's see. It's okay. Oh, you're right.

• 20:43Tig Notaro?

  That seems like somebody made a mistake.

• 20:45Fortune Feimster?

  Is supposed to be in between the words, right?

• 20:48Tig Notaro?

  For sure.

• 20:52Fortune Feimster?

  They're like, I know there's a comma in there somewhere, just throw it in.

• 20:56Tig Notaro?

  On what planet would Ginger Feimster wear that T-shirt that said, okay?

• 21:02Fortune Feimster?

  Well, she, she walked out with it and she goes, what is this?

• 21:08Fortune Feimster?

  And she goes, and why is it getting sent to me? And I was like, that's Tig. And it's one of Tig's jokes that Tig sent him a handsome pod and life. So now people say, OK, Dyke.

• 21:26Tig Notaro?

  I need to get some OK Dyke merch made.

• 21:28Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, you do.

• 21:29Tig Notaro?

  All right, do we have another?

• 21:32Fortune Feimster?

  Another question?

• 21:34Speaker 06

  Hello, my name is Sid and I am from just north of New York City. I am a huge fan of the pod and all of your work individually.

• 21:46Speaker 06

  I am also an English language arts teacher for high school students. And my question concerns the part of teaching ELA that I struggle with most, and that is writing personal narratives. Although my students have many interesting stories, they never seem to know how to start. And so I was wondering if you could share something about your process when writing personal narratives for your stand up routines or any of your work?

• 22:14Tig Notaro?

  Uh, here's what I'm gonna say about where to start. I always think about how it's helpful typically to just get into it.

• 22:28Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 22:28Tig Notaro?

  Where does the story begin?

• 22:30Fortune Feimster?

  Mm hmm.

• 22:32Tig Notaro?

  And for sure, it can help to tee something up. Am I answering this question correctly?

• 22:40Fortune Feimster?

  Yep, you are.

• 22:42Tig Notaro?

  It's certainly helpful to tee something up. And as we discussed, the brilliant Andrea Gibson passed away very sadly. And I've been, on my walks in the morning, I've been thinking about, what am I gonna say because Andrea's memorial is coming up? That I'm gonna speak at? And what I keep going back to is, what do I want to say? And just get into it. Just start where it started at the beginning. And that doesn't necessarily mean start at the beginning of time of knowing the person. But this is what I want to say.

• 23:27Fortune Feimster?

  Right.

• 23:28Tig Notaro?

  And where does that begin? Just get in. Cause if you think in terms of like an editor.

• 23:33Fortune Feimster?

  Mm hmm.

• 23:34Tig Notaro?

  You know?

• 23:35Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 23:35Tig Notaro?

  Cut it down. What do you want to say? Get into it. I don't know if that's helpful.

• 23:41Fortune Feimster?

  No, I think it's very helpful because that is sometimes the hardest part is just learning where to start. When you get this like assignment, you're like, where do I even begin? Like when people are gonna write a book or something. And I think that is the best thing. Just like you gotta start somewhere. So, I mean, I do the same similar thing if because all of my stories are based on something that happened. So I just take like what actually happened and I write it out as it actually happened. This happened and this happened and this happened and this happened. And so I just get it out in a way that's like factual.

• 24:20Fortune Feimster?

  And then I start filling in the gaps with jokes or punchlines or like, oh, that's not descriptive enough. Let me change that word. And I just sort of, yeah, get out the, the what happened of it all and, and then elevate it later. So that's my process.

• 24:44Tig Notaro?

  I was just thinking about when I wrote my book called, I'm Just a Person. I started my first chapter the moment I left the hospital after my mother died.

• 24:55Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, wow.

• 24:57Tig Notaro?

  And that was, I can't even explain, because if you put aside, like you get into, you just get into it. Everything that happened in 2012 with health and death and relationship, everything that went to hell in my life. That was something that was so scarring.

• 25:20Tig Notaro?

  Because I was alone and I got into a taxi at three in the morning after my mother died. And the taxi driver, I think, was tweaking. Oh, gosh. And the craziest situation took place when I needed to just quietly drive home, or I needed the comfort of a stranger. And I was sent on a hell ride. Oh, geez. And so I wanted to just start my book right there. And then in using that, let that kind of open every other story about my mother, about where my health was, about where my life was. It just, I don't know, I don't know why, I just felt so compelled to start there. Yeah.

• 26:05Tig Notaro?

  So I guess I'm bringing that up because you don't have to start from the beginning. Mm hmm. You can use a jumping off point that will open the doors to the beginning, middle, end, and whatever. So anyway. I love it. I think that's solid advice. Same, same. Let's, let's hear what Sid's answer is.

• 26:25Speaker 06

  My answer, what I say to try to help them, is don't begin at the beginning. Just start where you have an image in your mind, or the writing flows easily. And who knows, maybe the introduction will grow from there. Thank you so much. And if you do answer my question, I will play it in class for my students.

• 26:45Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 26:47Tig Notaro?

  Well, hi, students. Yeah. Good luck, students. Good luck. Thank you for, and that wasn't sarcastic. It's really like, good luck, students. Good luck. You've got this. Yes, yes, yes. And Sid, so do you. And thank you for writing in and, or actually calling in. And thanks to everyone that has submitted questions. Mm hmm. We love getting them. They're always fun and like, wow, I didn't expect that, like Sid's. Yeah. And star, like twinkle, twinkle. And yeah, do you have anything that you want to share, Fortune, before we head out of here? No, just on the road, doing a ton of shows, some fun cities coming up,

• 27:30Tig Notaro?

  like Chicago and Atlanta and Mobile and Richmond and DC. So get your tickets. Nice. West Hampton, New York, Provincetown, Massachusetts.

• 27:45Tig Notaro?

  Biloxi, Mississippi. Go to Tignotaro.com. Also, if you like the podcast, share an episode. Share your favorite episode. Share this episode and help us build this handsome, handsome community. And until next time.

• 28:00Mae Martin?

  Keep it.

• 28:01Tig Notaro?

  Keep it.

• 28:02Mae Martin?

  Pretty handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tignotaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at [email protected]. And please follow us on social media @handsomepod.

• 28:21Mae Martin?

  What a podcast!

• 28:22Speaker 00

  What a podcast!

• 28:27Speaker 00

  That was a HeadGum Podcast.