You Can’t Not Think It | 12 Stoic Lessons From Las Vegas

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Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:02Ryan Holiday?

  Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, where each day we read a passage of ancient wisdom designed to help you in your everyday life. On Tuesdays, we take a closer look at these Stoic ideas, how we can apply them in our actual lives. Thanks for listening, and I hope you enjoy.

• 0:27Ryan Holiday?

  You can't not think it.

• 0:31Ryan Holiday?

  Nobody wants to think about their business failing or their marriage falling apart. Certainly, no one heading out on a family road trip wants to think about getting in an accident in the middle of nowhere in the middle of night, or breaking down in a dangerous neighborhood. Does anyone really want to think about that friendly hookup turning not so friendly? No, you don't. But you must. You must. The great Gavin DeBecker's line is something like, "If you can't imagine it, you can't prevent it." And this, of course, is precisely what Seneca spoke about over and over again, and that we render today as "premeditatio malorum," "the unexpected blow lands heaviest," Seneca wrote. "All the terms of the human law should be before your eyes." You owe that to your business,

• 1:15Ryan Holiday?

  to your kids, to your dreams. Being naive, not wanting to consider the unpleasant, insisting that these kinds of things don't happen to people like you. This doesn't make those things less likely to happen. All it does is make it certain that if they do happen, you'll be unprepared. You'll be exposed. You'll be on the back foot. Instead, you must seek to be like Epictetus, like a good Stoic boss, parent, teacher, or leader. Someone who is able to say, "Whatever happens, ah, yes, this is exactly what I thought might happen, and I am trained and ready for it."

• 1:49Ryan Holiday?

  Well, I did it. I am officially at the halfway point, or passed, on the Four Virtues series that I've been writing. Discipline is Destiny: The Power of Self-Control is now out in the world. Meanwhile, I'm hard at work on the next one. I'm trying not to focus on the results, trying not to focus on how far I've come. As the Stoics talk about, as I talk about in the book, I'm trying to keep my My nose down, do the work, to be disciplined, to not be distracted. Although there's nothing as distracting and consuming as a book launch. I appreciate everyone so much who supported the book. It's been the biggest launch I've ever had. All of your support means so much to me. I signed over 10,000 copies of the book. I'm still signing more because we're honoring the preorder bonuses.

• 2:31Ryan Holiday?

  If you missed it, you can grab a copy of Discipline is Destiny: The Power of Self-Control anywhere books are sold. Or if you want to grab a signed copy or want to redeem your bonuses, you can do that at dailystoic.com/preorder. And if you're a podcast person, which clearly you are, you're listening to this. The audiobook is out, which I also recorded. You can grab it on Audible, iBooks, anywhere you get your audiobooks. The ebook is out too. I can't wait to hear what all of you think. And thanks to everyone for supporting Discipline is Destiny: The Power of Self-Control, which is out now everywhere.

• 3:07Ryan Holiday?

  Hey, it's Ryan Holiday. Welcome to another episode of the Daily Stoic Podcast. I am headed to Las Vegas for a talk and I was actually just there in February. And while I was there, I shot some videos. I was thinking about just what a strange place Las Vegas is. I mean, it shouldn't be there. It's a symbol, a monument to so much of what is wrong, not just with America, but with people in general. It's a monument, we could say, to the opposite of the Stoic virtue of temperance. It's all about excess. Now, look, you could argue there's a time and a place for life to go have fun, to let loose. Certainly Cato did this.

• 3:52Ryan Holiday?

  He was famous for some drinking parties. Seneca had all his wooden tables or his ivory tables for entertaining. The Romans knew how to party. They also knew about the power of moderation. And they looked down on the people who were slaves to the, to any kind of compulsive habit, whether it's drinking, or eating, or partying, or gambling. Everything you see in Las Vegas, and I'm not talking about Caesar's Palace, where I actually happened to be staying, but everything you see in Las Vegas would have been... Very familiar to the Stoics, I have to say. Marcus Aurelius would have known these drunk partygoers. He would have recognized the beautiful fountains of the Bellagio because Romans had their own versions of that.

• 4:35Ryan Holiday?

  He would have noticed the lions at the MGM Grand and, you know, how that was part of them. Like, all I'm saying is this was some fruitful ground for some, meditating on some Stoic lessons, which I wanted to bring to you today. And hopefully while I'm there, I'll, again, I'll riff on some more. But in the meantime, here are 12 Stoic lessons from Las Vegas. And I guess I should say, given that the Discipline book is about to come out, it took some discipline not to want to go on the buffet of buffets, which I've done before, not to gamble, you know, to keep my head down, to focus on the work I was there to do. And, you know, I do my best to try to live up to what I talk about on this podcast and in my writings.

• 5:19Ryan Holiday?

  And if you want to check out Discipline is Destiny, don't forget you can preorder that at dailystoic.com/preorder. Got a bunch of awesome bonuses for you. Check that out and I'll talk to you soon.

• 5:33Speaker 01

  One of the most important concepts in all of ancient philosophy comes to us from Aristotle. He calls this the golden mean, not too much, not too little. He says, "All virtues sit between two extremes, between two vices." So like here in Las Vegas, it's not that you would enjoy no pleasure. It's also not that you would take it so far, like hangover style excess. It's the right amount, right in the middle. For the Stoics, the name of this virtue was temperance, right? Moderation. So it's about finding the right amount, not too much, not too little, the right amount. Of course, there are some things for which there is no right amount, whether you're in Las Vegas or New York City or you're going out with your friends. The idea is the right amount of pleasure because too much pleasure, taken too far, becomes its own kind of pain and punishment.

• 6:21Speaker 01

  Seneca said the only inexcusable thing for a leader to say is "I did not think that could happen." But I think the other way we say this when we're not leaders is we go, "Oh, I didn't think that could happen to me." Of course, we know it could happen, but we think averages, rules, laws, bad luck, it's something that happens to somebody else, to everybody else. Of course, it won't happen to us, but it will happen to you. And the whole Stoic exercise of premeditatio morum is actively meditating on that. Not like wishing yourself ill will, but the reason it's so inexcusable for a leader to say, "I did not think that could happen," by extension, admitting that you don't have a plan, that you're not prepared. So Seneca is saying that the blow that lands heaviest is the one that you don't expect, the one that you didn't think could happen, the one that you didn't think would happen to you. So you must think it, you must think that it could happen to you.

• 7:06Speaker 01

  That's how you have a plan, that's how you're prepared for it, that's how you're able to shrug it off and move forward and not be devastated by what happened.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  Of course, it's lovely to go on a trip, it's lovely to go cool places, but Seneca warns us to make sure that, borrow Epicurus' phrase, that we're not fleeing ourself. He likens the way that we travel from this destination to that destination, this vacation, this exotic locale, one to the other, to the other, trying to find happiness or peace or serenity, as if that's where we're gonna find it, when in reality, all of that is gonna be on the inside. He likens it to the person tossing and turning in bed, as if there's some magical, comfortable place that they'll finally fall asleep. "You're never gonna find it," he says, "in the external things. You have to look inward, you have to look to philosophy." "You find the peace by slowing down, by ceasing to move, by staying in one spot." Of course, it's lovely to go on vacation, it's lovely to visit places, but you're never gonna find what you're looking for.

• 8:01Speaker 01

  Because as Epicurus said, you're really not looking for anything, what you're actually doing is fleeing yourself, right? You're fleeing the problems, and wherever you go, you are there also. So you're not gonna find it on a trip, you're not gonna find it on vacation, it's not gonna give you what you think it's gonna give you. You gotta look inward, you gotta do the work, find, design a life that you don't wanna run away from.

• 8:23Speaker 01

  Cato is very strict with himself. He holds himself to the highest standards. But he has a brother who he adores, who isn't quite so strict. It's not that his brother was a bad person or particularly out of control. It's just his brother, for instance, wore perfume, which lots of Romans did. His brother enjoyed the wealth that they'd inherited. His brother liked the limelight more than Cato. But Cato worshipped his brother. He loved his brother. It reminds me of that line from the Bruce Springsteen song, "Sometimes when it's your brother, you look the other way." Remember the Stoics, Cato, Marcus Aurelius? They're strict with themselves, yes, but tolerant with others, right? They searched themselves for vices, but they looked for the virtues in other people. Cato does this with his brother. Marcus Aurelius does this with his stepbrother, Lucius Verus. And it's what we have to do with the people in our life.

• 9:06Speaker 01

  It's called self-control, self-discipline. It's not something you get to project onto other people.

• 9:14Speaker 01

  It doesn't do anything for Julius Caesar that they're still naming hotels after him, right? It doesn't do anything for Alexander the Great that Alexandria is still named after him. Because they're dead, right? Marcus Aurelius reminds himself that those who long for posthumous fame forget that they won't be around to enjoy it. It's the most ridiculous thing that we chase because it so often comes at the expense of happiness now, of being a good person now, doing what we should do now. The paradox of Marcus Aurelius is that here's a guy who says, "Posthumous fame is worthless, that to be remembered is pointless because you won't be able to enjoy it." And yet, here we are, talking about him 2,000 years later. But why? We don't remember his military conquests, which were enormous. We don't remember his fame or his wealth, which were enormous. We don't even know where he's buried.

• 9:58Speaker 01

  What we remember about Marcus Aurelius is what he wrote down in Meditations that he wasn't even intending for publication. It was on the inner work. It was on focusing on being a better person. It was his philosophical thoughts that have survived. By focusing on the specific, not on accomplishing things, not on impressing other people, not on performance, not on projecting some image that he's remembered. He's remembered because of the good work he did on himself. He's remembered because of the perfection that he found in his soul. And that's what we want to remember. So the fact that Julius Caesar did these terrible things and Alexander the Great did these terrible things to become successful and powerful and thus remembered. Not only did they disgrace themselves in life, but it wasn't even worth it because they're not around to remember it.

• 10:43Speaker 01

  What's crazy about Epictetus is that he's a slave, but he's a slave in the emperor's palace. So he's surrounded by wealth and power. But he starts to realize that these powerful, successful, rich people were actually less free than he is. One day, he watches a man sucking up to Nero's cobbler, right? He's trying to get in Nero's good graces by complimenting and being nice to his cobbler. That's when Epictetus realizes that there's more than one form of slavery. Of course, the physical slavery that he was in was awful. But he realizes that freedom isn't about your legal status ultimately, because so many people exist in a form of self-imposed slavery. He realizes that these Romans are less free than he is because they want more money, they want more access, they want more power, they want to satiate their ambition.

• 11:28Speaker 01

  He realizes this timeless philosophical truth, which is that freedom is something we give ourselves, that freedom comes from the inside. And that often, the most powerful, the most ambitious, the people you look up to are actually a lot less freer, not just than you think, than you would ever want to be. It's a crazy historical twist of fate that Epictetus and Seneca are both in Nero's court at the same time. And they're experiencing on total opposite ends of the spectrum. Obviously, Epictetus is a lowly slave, and Seneca is Nero's number-one advisor, one of the most powerful men in Rome. But they both understand how impoverished everyone around them is. Not the poor of Rome, but the powerful in Rome are incredibly poor,

• 12:10Speaker 01

  because as Seneca says, "Being poor isn't just having too little, it's also craving more." So Seneca and Epictetus both see how desperate, how hungry, how much these people in Nero's court need. They need approval, they need fame, they need recognition, they need access. They need more money than they have, even though they already have so much. There's one scene that Epictetus witnesses, sees a man walk up to Nero and says, "Basically, I'm down to my last million dollars." And Nero says, "Oh, my God, are you okay? How could you bear that?" And that's when Epictetus realizes that these are the least free people of all. And he realizes that although he's legally in chains, he could be far freer than they are if he can free himself from these desires and cravings and wants,

• 12:53Speaker 01

  this desperation, which characterizes not just people 2,000 years ago, but so much today as well.

• 13:01Speaker 01

  Seneca says that life is long if you know how to use it. What does he mean by using it? I think he's really referring to not wasting time, which is what we do. We waste time on so many frivolous, ridiculous things, trying to impress other people, trying to rack up things that they're just gonna throw away when we die. If you know how to manage your time, your most precious resource in the world, life is plenty long. But the problem is, most people aren't even alive. They're just drifting. They go from one temptation to the other, one opportunity to the other. They're just being drug along by their urges or what other people are doing. And then they look back on their life and they go, "Where did the time go?" It went to the things that don't really matter.

• 13:42Speaker 01

  I've gotten recognized a few times since I've been here in Vegas. And it's obviously flattering and nice. It's better than the alternative, of course, as an author, that nobody knows about your work and nobody cares. But before you let it gratify your ego, I try to remember this thing in Marcus Aurelius's Meditations. He goes, applause, being recognized. He says, "This is just like the smacking of hands or the smacking of tongues, right? That it's meaningless, it doesn't mean anything." And he says, "Take a minute when you get recognized, when you get adored, when you get praised by someone." He says, "Think about the other things that that person likes. Think about what that person just did in private a few seconds ago." And the point is not to suck all the fun out of life. It's to knock yourself down a peg when people are trying to raise you up. It's to try to humble yourself a little bit, to remember that these things that we chase, that gratifies, that flatter the ego,

• 14:26Speaker 01

  are ephemeral at best, worthless in truth. And that you don't want to let it get to you. You don't want to let it puff you up. And you just want to stay, as he says, "focused unswervingly on the finish line, not care about anything else."

• 14:42Speaker 01

  Why do people have conferences in Las Vegas? I think it's because dudes like to cheat on their wives or do other stuff that they couldn't get away with at home. That's the slogan, "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas." But the Stoics say that's not true at all. The expression was that, "When you do something difficult, the labor disappears, but the good remains," the Stoics said. But they say, "When you do something bad in pursuit of pleasure, the pleasure disappears quickly, but the shame endures." In Meditations, Marcus Aurelius reminds himself not to be Caesarified, not to be stained purple by the cloak of the emperor. That, I think, is the ultimate reminder, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Nobody knows, it's my little secret, I do it in private. You're still stained by that shame of it, right? You're still shamed by what you did.

• 15:26Speaker 01

  Look, you gotta come here for work, you gotta come here for work. But just try to be the same person that you would be if people were watching you, if they knew what you were doing.

• 15:38Speaker 01

  Kato walked around Rome bareheaded, he walked barefoot, he wore a thin toga. Even though he was quite wealthy, he dressed as if he was not. And he was okay standing alone, looking different, being judged, being misunderstood. This wasn't just for fun, this wasn't just kind of tourism in a different way of life. What Kato is actually doing, I think, is preparing for the moment when it really counts. When he has to stand alone against Caesar, when he has to stand alone against corruption, when he has to stand alone against the decadence of his time. He's practiced this, he's prepared for it, it's how he's lived his whole life. He doesn't care that he's getting sideways glances, he doesn't care that people are criticizing him. He doesn't care that people are doubting him. He doesn't care that people are saying what he's doing is pointless and silly and it doesn't mean anything and that he should just go along with everyone else. No, he's practiced this, he's prepared for it.

• 16:21Speaker 01

  He's made it a daily habit, which is what we have to do to prepare for a moment like that in our own lives.

• 16:30Speaker 01

  It starts with the little choices, right? The decision to get up early, the decision to go work out, the decision to not check your phone first thing in the morning. The decision to eat well instead of eating something crappy, right? The decision to get down and do your work instead of procrastinating. Epictetus says, "If you want to be beautiful, make beautiful choices." And I think about that all the time. Am I making the good choice, or am I making the lazy choice? Am I making the short-term choice or the long-term choice? Make good choices and it gets you where you want to go. Zeno says that well-being is realized by small steps, but it's no small thing. Those little choices matter and it starts there. In fact, it starts with the time that you decide to wake up.

• 17:13Speaker 01

  There's a story about an Athenian statesman who goes to dinner at Plato's house. And he says, "You know what I love about your dinners, Plato? It's that I still love them the day after." Meaning that he didn't hate himself, he wasn't sick, he didn't have a hangover. That there was just the right amount there: food, of wine, of fun, of people. I think there's this stereotype that the Stoics don't have any fun. It's totally wrong. The Stoic virtue is temperance. Moderation is the right amount. No things in excess, all things in moderation. That's what it is, and I'm sure everyone's experienced it. When you take a good thing too far, it ceases to be a good thing. Makes you unhappy, makes you miserable. You have regrets later. You have pounds to lose. You do things that get you into trouble. The Stoics have plenty of fun. They just have the right amount of fun, and they don't take it too far.

• 18:02Ryan Holiday?

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