The Ultimate Path to Create MASSIVE Value For People with Dean Graziosi

What’s the Real Key to Fulfillment and Success? We all strive for success, but are we truly fulfilled? In this special mashup episode, I sit down with Dean Graziosi and several other high performers to explore one of the most critical questions in life: Can you have success without fulfillment? We break down why the chase for material success often leaves us feeling empty and how to shift our focus to the things that bring true joy and purpose. Dean and I discuss how aligning your passion with your career can unlock an extraordinary sense of purpose, why many people are chasing the wrong dream, and how to discover what truly makes you fulfilled. We also touch on how personal evolution is a constant—what you wanted five years ago might not be what drives you today, and that’s okay! Embracing those shifts and owning your journey is the key to creating massive value in your life and for others. You’ll also hear from Rob Dyrdek, who shares how he had to become the person he wanted to attract in his relationships, and Fallon Taylor, who opens up about the emotional journey of winning her world title and how she found fulfillment beyond just the accolades. The takeaway is clear: success is about evolving, contributing, and taking care of yourself so you can give more to those around you. Key Takeaways: - The Difference Between Success and Fulfillment: Why chasing material success without a sense of purpose will leave you feeling empty. - Owning Your Evolution: It’s okay to change your dreams. Learn how to adjust and thrive in every season of life. - Contribution as Fulfillment: How giving back and creating value for others can transform your life. - Self-Care for Success: Especially for women—how taking care of yourself first allows you to give your best to others. This episode is a game-changer if you’re ready to stop just chasing success and start living a life that truly fulfills you. Tune in to learn how to shift your mindset, embrace your purpose, and create massive value in every area of your life. Thank you for watching this video—Please Share it and get the word out! What part of this video resonated with you the most? Comment below! 👇 SUBSCRIBE TO ED'S YOUTUBE CHANNEL NOW 👇 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIprGZAdzn3ZqgLmDuibYcw?sub_confirmation=1 ▶︎ WEBSITE | https://www. EdMylett.com #EdMylett #Motivation Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

  I hear so many small business owners say the exact same thing. They just never have enough time in the day. Well, I measure time differently. I've compressed, condensed, heck, I've bent time. My first day is 6:00 a.m. to noon. My second day starts at noon and goes till 6:00 P.M. And my third day, 6:00 P.M. to midnight. I now get 21 days a week. Stack that up over a month, over a year, over five years, and my life's completely different than it would have been otherwise. And if you want to win as an entrepreneur, you have to compress your time too. And you definitely can't afford to waste it. Waiting weeks on a big bank for capital? Your best bet's to work with my friends at Cardiff. They know how to compress time for entrepreneurs. They get your business approved in minutes and funded the very same day. They're America's favorite small business lender, and for good reason.

• 0:45Ed Mylett?

  Over 20 years in business, over 12 billion deployed to small business across America. Stop letting bank delays slow down your momentum. Head to cardiff.co/ed. That's cardiff.co/ed. Cardiff.co. Real growth, fast funding. Cardiff, borrow better. So, hey, guys, listen, we're all trying to get more productive. And the question is, how do you find a way to get an edge? I'm a big believer that if you're getting mentoring or you're in an environment that causes growth, a growth-based environment, that you're much more likely to grow and you're going to grow faster. And that's why I love Growth Day. Growth Day is an app that my friend Brendan Burchard has created that I'm a big fan of. Write this down, growthday.com/ed. So if you want to be more productive, by the way, he's asked me, I post videos in there every single Monday that gets your day off to the right start.

• 1:30Ed Mylett?

  He's got about $5,000, $10,000 worth of courses that are in there that come with the app. Also, some of the top influencers in the world are all posting content and they're on a regular basis, like having the Avengers of personal development and business in one app. And I'm honored that he asked me to be a part of it as well and contribute on a weekly basis, and I do. So go over there and get signed up. You're going to get a free, tuition-free voucher to go to an event with Brendan and myself and a bunch of other influencers as well. So you get a free event out of it also. So go to growthday.com/ed. That's growthday.com/ed.

• 2:08Ed Mylett?

  This is the Ed Mylett Show.

• 2:13Ed Mylett?

  Hey, everyone. Welcome to my weekend special. I hope you enjoy the show. Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. My dear friend that's here today is the co-founder of mastermind.com, along with his partner and friend and my friend, Tony Robbins. Dean Graziosi must be here today. So, Dean, welcome to the show, brother.

• 2:34Dean Graziosi?

  It's always so good to be here with you.

• 2:36Ed Mylett?

  You know, Tony talks a lot about sort of the science of achievement and the art of fulfillment. And when I look at you, I look at someone who, over the years, has gotten a lot better at the art form of fulfillment. And so many things about social media right now are hustle and grind culture, which you and I, no two people hustle and grind more than you and I. But I'm not so sure that there... I mean, I think there's a lot of success happening, but I don't know how much fulfillment's happening in people's lives. And so if I had to open up with a question and be, what would you say to somebody who feels like they're maybe having some success, but they're not fulfilled?

• 3:13Dean Graziosi?

  Ah, what a great question. And kind of why we're leaning down the road of the game has changed, because I think it really has. Because, you know, success without fulfillment is probably the biggest failure of them all, right? I see, you know, you and I do have a lot of history, Ed, and we have a lot of similar backgrounds. My dad's still alive at 87 years old. And I watched my dad chase a lot of things in his life. And at 87, I watch him, he's really sad, deep down. And I give him love on a regular basis and take care of him. And but he's sad because he chased success, even though it didn't really come to him. But he missed out on fulfillment. He missed out on being connected. My sister and him haven't

• 3:57Dean Graziosi?

  talked in 20 years. He didn't talk to his brothers and sisters. And I'm not trying to get on a personal note, but I get to witness with a man who's at 87, who's one of the smartest people I've ever met, my dad. And I watch when he talks to me and he looks in my eyes, and he'll tell me he loves me now. He never told me as a kid, you know, old school, tough Italian guy from the East Coast. But he tells me now, and his eyes fill up with water, Ed, 100 times, 100% of the times, him and I talk now. We're together, you know, at least every week. And I just watched A Life Without Fulfillment. And I get to be Tony Robbins' partner. I get to do this for a living. And I get so many, I see so many people chasing success. And one of the things I want to share is

• 4:39Dean Graziosi?

  when you're chasing success, especially through a career and a career mindset, we're never taught the art of fulfillment. We're never taught that we could find something with purpose. We're never taught that we could be passionate about what we do. We're taught to balance work and play, work and life, right? We're supposed to say, you know, shut it off at 5 o'clock. How does that work, Ed? Do you walk in the door at 5:30 and go, "Okay, honey, I'm leaving that at the door"? No. And the only reason we're taught that is because most of the time we're taught to do something we really don't love in a career we really don't like. And then we're taught to shut it off and be somebody different at home and maybe watch football on a Sunday and have a couple of Scotches every night to just numb it, rather than work-life integration. I think COVID had a big

• 5:21Dean Graziosi?

  shot in the arm of this, is people were realizing, "Hey, I'm doing okay financially, but I don't like my life." "I'm not happy. I'm not fulfilled. I'm looking around corners. I see somebody at dinner and they're smiling. I think they got a better life than me because inside I'm miserable." And I think that's, I think that's one of the things you do so well, Ed, and I loved, loved listening to every word of your last book. I mean, because I know you so well, like I said. But helping people realize when you can find that balance of a career or a business and working on the best version of you, that's where life is. And I think that's why Tony and I have been screaming from mountaintops is this is the time, because we don't get a second chance. And maybe it's because I'm in my 50s, mid 50s,

• 6:04Dean Graziosi?

  and Tony's in his mid 60s, it's like, we just want to shake people and say, "Don't settle. You can have both."

• 6:10Ed Mylett?

  You know what? The thing about what you've been doing too, which is really teaching people how to take their knowledge and and express it. And they can monetize it, but they can also serve people when they do it. And one of the pathways to fulfillment for me, and you can talk about the event as you answer this question, but I'd like you to answer the question directly too, is that I think if you're not feeling fulfilled... Perhaps it's that you're not really becoming the fullest expression of yourself, or the expression of yourself that you want to be. And I think so many people, you know, maybe they've got a little bit of money. Maybe they don't even have it. They think, well, if I get the money, I'll feel fulfilled. Or if I get the relationship, I'll feel fulfilled. What I've found is I've gotten older, if I look back at my last 30 years,

• 6:54Ed Mylett?

  different things make me happy. But one of them that almost always delivers fulfillment for me is when I feel that I'm expressing the versions of myself that are the most beautiful, that are the most proud, that are the most giving, that are the most generous. And even the parts of me that I'm the most afraid to express, I find bring me the most fulfillment in my life. And I wonder if that lack of fulfillment is correlated to a lack of expression of who somebody truly is, what they know, what they feel, what they believe, what they value, what they stand for. What do you think?

• 7:29Dean Graziosi?

  Such, such a good way to frame it. I think, I think you're spot on. You know, I want to ask you something. The American dream. Do you think, I brought that up. We had a team meeting and everybody under 35, we had a meeting with about 12 of us. So I want to ask your opinion on this. I brought up the American dream. I just brought it up. I said, do you think it still exists? Is it still alive? And what does it mean? And I have to say, the people on the team under 35 is like, ah, no, you know, I don't know if the American dream, that might be controversial. And people over 50 are like, yeah, that is the thing our parents and grandparents came to this country for or worked hard for. I had never seen something so, you know, opposite.

• 8:11Dean Graziosi?

  And by the younger kids on my team, I say younger kids that are 35, they're like, I don't think you should bring that up. I was like, wow, is that where we are as a society? That we can't talk about the American dream? Because my definition, I'd love to know yours, Ed. My thought of the American dream, wherever you live in the world, is living into your full potential, like knowing you're meant for more, right? But actually doing something in your power to achieve it, right?

• 8:40Dean Graziosi?

  And I think, I don't know how that could have gotten a bad name, maybe I'm blind or naive to it. But I think what you're saying is, like, a life lived without tapping into that full potential you have, or at least trying, I think is the saddest life ever. And to me, it just looks like, hey, fight for it. Do whatever it takes. You want to call it the American dream, you want to say you're living into your full potential. Whatever it takes. I just know if you leave, um, if you leave gas in the tank at the end of your life, right? I love, I think I watched you say one time, if you had a cellphone at the end of your life and God played you a video of the man you could have been, or the woman you could have been, won't that be the most horrific thing on the planet?

• 9:21Ed Mylett?

  And yeah, I do think that's sad. I gotta tell you, the version of the American dream for me, to me, it means freedom. And that's freedom to express yourself, be yourself. And if those things, like, I have a sister who I think is incredibly fulfilled. Andrea, my middle sister, I think all three of my sisters are, but my middle sister, I'll tell you about her dean really quickly. Um, she had lost her vision many years ago. Most people know that she had gone blind. She's diabetic retinopathy. And so she had lost her vision. And, uh, my sister doesn't make a lot of money. She's a Christian school teacher. But I think she has a very rich life and a very fulfilled life, particularly now that she can see again and she can teach again. And the reason is, is that she chose something that was the fullest expression of her soul, of her spirit, of what she wanted to be.

• 10:06Ed Mylett?

  And to me, the American dreams got conflated the last few years. And the reason it's a controversial topic is, the American dream now appears to be about wealth, affluence, uh, influence, materialism. And we've made that the dream. And because that looks like the dream through social media and reality shows and these different things, the controversial part of it is, most people believe those things are reserved for a very select group of people. Which in point of fact, may have some validity to it. Not everybody's going to be worth a hundred million dollars. Not everybody's going to fly private. And when we've made that the prize, it becomes controversial because not everybody thinks they could get that. And by the way, the truth is, not everybody wants that.

• 10:47Speaker 02

  But everybody wants to live authentically. Everybody wants freedom to be and express who they are, to create, to build something, to give something. To me, that's the American dream, and I do believe that's alive. But I believe we've conflated what it means. In other words, if it doesn't pay you five million bucks a year, that's not the dream. And for some people who are listening to this or watching it, their dream is the material part. And I think there's a freedom to express it that way as well. But I think a lot of people feel pressured like, I don't want all these things everybody else wants, but I'm supposed to want them. And now I'm conflicted internally because I don't truly want all the material things? And because I don't truly want it, I'm probably not going to produce it because you have to be obsessed

• 11:32Speaker 02

  with whatever you want in your life. And it's not a real obsession to me. And so to me, what's happened even to me recently is like, I've been willing to say, you know what? Those were my other dreams. I have new dreams now. I've re-audited my life and what matters to me now. And it's okay that those things change. Here's the other thing it's okay for in life, to change your mind. To say, I used to believe that, I no longer do. There are things I used to teach, I don't teach anymore because I've changed. I get it. And so, so in my mind, yes, I believe it's alive. I just think the real dream should be the fullest expression of your soul and your heart. If that dream means you want to live in a cabin in the mountains and, and explore nature all day long, or serve in your church full-time,

• 12:17Speaker 02

  or work in a nonprofit, or make a hundred million dollars, or teach something like what we're going to talk about in a minute, that, that you believe is valuable, that can improve other people's lives. Like, these are things that I think we need to create a space again in the world that says, what's your dream? Not your parents, not your sisters, not social medias, and not even what yours was five years ago. Five years ago, I mean, listen, for me, and I'll shut up and I'll ask you this. 25 years ago, one of my major dreams would be incredibly wealthy, to be comfortable, to take care of my family, to be financially independent, to never... My dream was less to be incredibly wealthy, better said, I didn't want to be poor. I didn't want to, I didn't want to struggle financially. I didn't want to not be there for my family. Well, now that that's

• 13:01Speaker 02

  sort of been achieved, it's not really, financial success is not a major dream of mine, contribution is. So, hey, guys, as you know, I've partnered up with my good friend Brennan Burchard, who's created the greatest personal development system that has ever been designed called Growth Day. There's everything from journaling to accountability programs, live messages every Monday from myself and other influencers. There's an opportunity for you to get courses that would cost thousands of dollars completely for free. It's incredible. Go to growthday.com/ed and check it out. But speak to that and why you and Tony even came up with this whole program.

• 13:35Dean Graziosi?

  It's really just taking one level of productivity to another, right? So, if you're going to take one level of productivity to another, and you're gonna get have a career mindset or a business that you have that's not fulfilling, it's making the money, but you don't feel alive, you don't feel you're changing the world, you don't feel like you're growing or contributing, right? Then people want to make a shift. And the reason we love what it is we do when we talk about selling your knowledge, right? And I'll simplify that here in a minute, is because if the game has truly changed, not the mindset, we still have to tap into our full potential, we still have to see opportunity, not obstacles, we have to focus on what we have, not what we've lost, right? All those

• 14:17Dean Graziosi?

  things that you teach so abundantly well. But if you're gonna say, "It's time for me to do something different," that's why Tony and I say, explore adding a digital product, an information product, to the current business you have, or explore launching that. Because if the game has changed, let's take inflation, right? Everybody's worried about inflation and gas prices and all the pieces, right? If you think about starting a business... Right, even Warren Buffett said it in his last address to the country, right? Is if you're taking a business right now with inflation, the cost of goods, the cost of overhead, the cost of electric, the cost of oil. If you don't, if you don't have those margins baked in, you're gonna get killed.

• 15:00Dean Graziosi?

  Inflation could hurt you, or if you sell information, you sell your life experience. I mean, look what you do with Arte, look what you do with this podcast, look what you do with your book. All of that is information. And I would bet to say it's probably the best line item on a P and L. Because there was no cost of goods, you didn't have to air condition it, you didn't have to ship it, you didn't have to store it, but it's the most impactful. It's actually the thing that lights you up, Ed, more than anything I've ever seen. Watching you on stage, watching you talk about your book to me, watching you, I was at one of your first masterminds ever. I flew to, you know, I flew up with you and Andy and had an amazing time. I watch you come alive by sharing your life experience, an amazing asset that you just earned through life, right?

• 15:42Dean Graziosi?

  So the reason I say that is because inflation could hurt you, or it could be a launching pad. AI, everybody's worried about AI or empowered by AI. AI is gonna crush some industries, that's a fact. But it's also gonna empower some, it's a launching pad. AI in the self-education industry allows you to go faster, quicker, go deeper, get off the blank page. People want something with purpose, number one. Watching you do what you do, Ed, watching what I get to do and so many others. When you get to share a life experience, a career skill, a problem you went through and now you're on the other side, or a passion you have, it feels good to help change people's lives. So it brings purpose, that's number one. It brings passion to your life, that work-life integration.

• 16:25Dean Graziosi?

  Number two, more people today wanna start their own thing because they're sick of having a career mindset where they feel stifled, they feel stuck, they feel in a rut. So they're looking around, and if you're gonna look for something, why not? Find an asset that you already own. And learn how to extract it and share it. Again, I see your book sitting right there. That amazing book. Could be a book, could be a workshop, could be a community, could be a course, could be the mastermind that you do on a monthly basis. And the reason this industry is at a billion dollars a day right now is because it's not just being fueled by you and me anymore, Ed, and not Tony Robbins and not Brendan Burchard. People are realizing they don't want to go back to school. They don't want to learn on their own. They just want to find somebody who's already done what it is that they want to do and say,

• 17:09Dean Graziosi?

  "Are you willing to sell me that knowledge?" So with all that said, I hope I tied this together is entrepreneurship lives in so many of us, especially if they're with you, Ed. If they're listening right now, somebody knows they're either already doing it or they want to. Secondly, right, secondly, the purpose it brings and the passion it brings allows work-life integration. There's not that, "Ugh, shut the job off and try to live life." It is life, right? Third, it's a fast, one of the fastest growing industries in the world. And each of us have that experience inside of us. So why Tony and I do an event over three days, we're going to pull back the curtain because we've been doing it collectively for 74 freaking years.

• 17:50Dean Graziosi?

  Almost 30 for me, 44 for Tony, and just show you that you got this asset. And how do you enter this with confidence? And the last thing I'll say is, if you have a business right now, adding a digital product to your company is the game changer. And if it is the game changer, then if you want to start a business, why not start with a digital product?

• 18:11Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, I got to tell you, I should know where I read this, but I don't, so everybody forgive me. But I was reading something over the weekend that basically said, "Over the next decade or two, 50% of all humans will be self-employed or entrepreneurs." And that over 80% of them, they believe will have businesses that are somehow digitally based. And so... For no other reason than just look at the trends of the world, you have the next 20, 30, 40 years of your life, you know, you're probably gonna end up working for yourself at some point. You're probably gonna end up having that business be somewhat driven online or digitally somehow. Now, how all those things manifest themselves and what we see things through and what the devices are and whether we have something in our eye or on our wrist or on a phone,

• 18:55Ed Mylett?

  I don't know all of that, but all the trends tell us that you're gonna end up in these positions, so why not start to figure out what form of expression best fits you? I'm wondering what you would say to somebody, brother, who says, "Look, that sounds good. I'm just stuck." One of the things I think you're the best on the planet at, maybe the best, is helping people simply get unstuck. They simply move from zero to some miles per hour in their life. And most people are like, "Hey, you know what? I just got knocked down in the business I was doing. I don't know if I wanna get back up." Or, "My relationship just ended." Or, "You know what? I'm just not exactly sure where I wanna begin, but I'm starting to feel some anxiety. If I don't, I'm gonna get left behind."

• 19:40Ed Mylett?

  What would you say to somebody who's feeling those things, which I bet is the majority of people listening or watching us?

• 19:46Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah, you know, the cool part is being partners with Tony Robbins, right? I mean, you and I listened to Tony before, we were friends with him. We listened to Tony Robbins, right? And I think that's the balance we, Tony and I bring to each other, is he really knows how to climb under your skin and get you disturbed with inaction, right? I mean, we all have got kicked in the face, right? We all been knocked down. And I don't wanna sound cliche, it's the people who get back up and keep going, duh, right? But getting back up sometimes is hard, or that, you know, the outside world gets so crazy. I mean, this is the craziest political thing I've ever seen in my 55 years of being on this planet. And all those outside factors can do one of two things. Inspire you to go, "I need to take care of my family. I need to take care of me.

• 20:30Dean Graziosi?

  I need to protect this circle around me, because no matter what happens, my family will be safe." That sounds good in theory, but sometimes it feels like you're trying to push a rope uphill. You're running against the wind and you go, "What more can I do?" And this is a time that I think, Ed, more than ever, is people will sit on their hands and say, "Let's just see how it goes." And the reason Tony and I go live and what reason I'm on your podcast here is like, "This, hell no. This is not a time to sit still. This is not a time to hope." This is a time you take bold, creative, innovative action to see what's possible, right?

• 21:09Dean Graziosi?

  The other thing, it's all scary. Life is scary, right? I mean, and life is just, maybe it's, maybe it's, there's been crazier times in history than we're at now, but in my time, this seems to be a crazy time. And so, welcome to being human if you're a little scared. And that's one of the reasons, I feel like I don't want to just keep talking about the event, Ed, but the reason we're doing this event is less about, "Hey, come make sure and do this your whole life." More, "Come and investigate. If it's not this, then go find something." But you're gonna have to do something different than you're currently doing if you're not happy. You're gonna have to do something different if you're not in control of your calendar. You're gonna have to do something different if someone else is, you know,

• 21:53Dean Graziosi?

  guiding your ship or steering your ship. You're gonna have to do something different. We just believe this is the industry that could spark that.

• 22:00Ed Mylett?

  Well, the biggest thing people need to learn to do, here's what people would know about you. Dean is, look, you see Dean, you go, "Well, one of the nicest guys in personal development." Always gives credit to everybody else. You ask Dean a question, "Well, Ed, you're the best at it." "Well, Tony's the best at it." He never takes credit. He's kind. Here's what you don't know about this dude. I mean this as a compliment. This dude's a killer. This episode is sponsored by Ro. A lot of people assume GLP-1's a cost of fortune, and that assumption keeps them from even looking into treatment. Ro helps people find a more affordable path to FDA-approved GLP-1 treatment. Ro wants to help people lose weight. That's why they have more affordable GLP-1 options, whether you're paying with insurance or cash.

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• 23:22Ed Mylett?

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• 24:05Ed Mylett?

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• 24:22Speaker 03

  Wayfair, every style, every home.

• 24:26Ed Mylett?

  That was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Ed Mylett Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. This week, I, one of the questions that I got was, Ed, do you have any strategies that you can suggest to me on how I can improve the overall quality of my life, including gratitude? And by the way, everyone's asking these things that I don't hear from everybody else. And so I want to give you some things that you're not going to hear everybody, from everybody else. So listen, I want you to write this topic down. I want you to write this word down, observer. The quality of your life will increase dramatically if you begin to believe and act like an observer in your life. I want you to think about that just for a second.

• 25:12Ed Mylett?

  Observe really means to notice or perceive. One of the reasons we lack such gratitude or even happiness in our life is it's all happening so fast. And so we've lost sensory acuity in our life. What it means is that there's just information and stuff happening all the time. We're busy, our phone, our laptop, our computer, our TV, our Netflix, the meetings we have, the calls we have, our family, the obligations, the travel, whatever it might be, work. We just don't have time to observe. And so everything just happens quickly and we don't get any of the juice out of our life. And as a result, that's very difficult to be grateful. One of the ways that I define myself now is I'm an observer. What I mean by that is I'm an observation. I'm in my life as a participant. It's gonna get pretty deep.

• 25:57Ed Mylett?

  I'm in my life as a participant every single day. I'm in my meetings, I have my phone calls, I have my family, I have my workouts, I have my dreams and the things I'm achieving. But if you're not careful, all the speed of that, all the busyness of that, you don't see anything, you don't feel anything, you don't experience anything in any depth. The depth of experience is the quality of our life. And so, I don't know, maybe about a decade ago, and probably a lot more about five years ago, I started to call myself to myself, I'm an observer of my own life. I'm an observer of humanity. I'm an observer of other people's lives. And so the more I started to condition myself to be more observational, to notice more,

• 26:44Ed Mylett?

  to perceive more. Maybe I even slowed down just a little bit.

• 26:50Ed Mylett?

  The depth of the gratitude in my life, the depth of my ability to make decisions, my discernment, my intuition, frankly, my intellect, I have tapped into a superpower by becoming more observational. It's all, I'm gonna give you examples and the teachings in a second. It's also caused me to be more grateful, more present, more peaceful. Yet at the same time, when I need to be even more intense and competitive than I've ever been before. That's because I'm in my life. Most people are just in their life. And they never are aware of it. They never observe it. Observation causes awareness.

• 27:34Ed Mylett?

  The happiest people, and by the way, the people that I love to be around the most in my life, are the most self-aware. I think it's one of the reasons I love stand-up comedians so much, so many of them are my friends, because they're so funny, because they're so self-aware. They also, many of them, use observational comedy. They observe things about life that we miss every single day. And then when they point it out, it's funny. Am I right? That's the only thing, really, most comedy, a lot of comedy is observations, like, well, that, I, I, we just miss it, but it's there. And so when a comedian tells us a joke about something, we go, that one, or even, don't take comedian, take in your religious services, any of you that practice, your pastor or priest or Rabbi, or whatever it might be, will point something out, and it's something that you should be seeing

• 28:19Ed Mylett?

  and observing every day in your life, but you just miss. And then when they point it out, you go, yeah, that's obvious. So, I want to talk to you a little bit about this for a minute. Number one, start to show more respect for people. What do I mean by that? What I mean by that is put your phone down. When someone walks in a room, put your phone down. When you go to dinner or lunch with them, don't put it on the table. Put it in your bag, put it in your purse, put it in your lap. Leave it in the car. This forces you to become more observational and present with people. And when you do that, it changes your life. So I've become observational of these various things. I'm gonna teach you how to do it. God's stuff. I observe God's stuff more.

• 29:03Ed Mylett?

  Into a level of depth that I never did. And this is gonna sound hokey, but I'm gonna give you some insights in it. I spend more time when I go outside and I hold my gaze at God's beauty longer. It's not that you don't walk outside and see a beautiful field, or a stream, or even a building that one of God's creatures was an architect created. But you hold it quickly. I've started to observe, this may sound really weird, but I did this this morning. I walked out behind my house, there's an ocean out there, which I can observe God's beauty there, but I did something much more simple. There's a, like, I wish I could show you. Well, I kinda could, I don't know if you guys can see that, right out there, if you're watching on YouTube. There's like a garden above my water feature there. And I just walked out there and I sat there for a few minutes and I just stared at one leaf on one tree.

• 29:50Ed Mylett?

  And I kind of forced myself to observe it longer than I might. Just one leaf. I narrowed my focus down to one leaf and the nuances of it and the crevices. And I started to notice the different color in it.

• 30:05Ed Mylett?

  And where it was cracked in one place. And I held that gaze for a good minute.

• 30:11Ed Mylett?

  Very different than what you go, oh, there's a tree. And then I moved to another one, another tree with a different leaf on it. I spent some time observing it. I was much more present with myself, much more present. I then walked back in the house and my family was having breakfast. Instantaneously. I was more present. And when I walked in, I paused for a second and I held the gaze and I watched my family.

• 30:38Ed Mylett?

  And the beauty of them. My precious son's home from college. So was my daughter. They were both actually in the kitchen at the same time.

• 30:47Ed Mylett?

  They said, well, hey, what's going on, guys? I stopped. I just held a gaze. It's my only son. It's my only little girl.

• 30:57Ed Mylett?

  And I watched them for a little bit and I appreciated them for a little bit. I let myself feel love for them just for a little bit, just for a little bit. It filled me with gratitude.

• 31:12Ed Mylett?

  So I'm grateful for that.

• 31:15Ed Mylett?

  There's all these things around us all the time that if we just held the gaze a little longer and stopped looking around, not just put our phone down, that's basic. It just became fully present with a leaf. With a building, with a water feature, with a piece of, you ever? I do this lately where I stare at my hand. And I just noticed things about me that I've never noticed before. You know, most of you aren't familiar with your own hand.

• 31:47Ed Mylett?

  If I showed you your hand in a picture, the inside of your hand, you're probably not even familiar with where the lines are exactly. I think that's my hand. I'm not sure it's my hand. Well, if I don't even know that about me, what else don't I know about me? That's a pretty basic thing. I've been so busy, man. My gosh, I went decades and never looked at my own hand. I mean, I see I have a hand, but you know what I mean? That depth of observation causes you, by the way, to vibrate much faster and a higher frequency. It causes you to have more gratitude and appreciation. It causes you to be more present with other people. I'm going to tell you right now, your decision making, your thought processes, your ability to control your emotions are exponentially connected to your ability to

• 32:28Ed Mylett?

  be observe and be present. And this is a skill. It is a talent and it is not easy. I want to also tell you what I observe that's changed my life. I take time every day now to observe my breathing. You take for granted your breathing every single day. But if it's stopped right now, you end. It's probably something to pay attention to. So if I can get quiet and just pay attention to my breathing and hear myself and feel myself breathe, I'm much more self-connected.

• 32:58Ed Mylett?

  I'm much more grateful. I'm much more centered. I'm much smarter instantly. Instantly, I'm stronger and smarter and more present. If you can't be present with yourself, you have no way in the world of being present with other people. You're like, hey, man, I'm busy. Number one thing in business, the ability to build rapport and connect with people. If you can't connect and build rapport and connect with yourself, you can't do it with other people. People say to me all the time, your interviews are just different. In fact, Ed, I see some guests on one show, I see them on yours. It's a completely different conversation. Why is that? I think it's my ability to be present with them and connect with them because I'm connected

• 33:38Ed Mylett?

  with myself. So I ask a smarter question in the moment. I can feel something and energy from them that others don't feel and they feel from me. Now, that makes a good podcast, but it also makes a good salesperson. It also makes a good mother. It also makes a good everything. And so it's something that I really work on. So I perceive God's stuff. Art, I perceive, architecture, my breathing is a huge one. Just for today, give yourself a gift, just for a second right now.

• 34:17Ed Mylett?

  Feel yourself breathe.

• 34:21Ed Mylett?

  Remember that guy?

• 34:25Ed Mylett?

  Remember her?

• 34:27Ed Mylett?

  She's been there all the time. You.

• 34:31Ed Mylett?

  Busy you. Distracted you. She's been there all the time.

• 34:38Ed Mylett?

  Pay a little more attention to her. Pay a little bit more attention to him. It'll help you pay attention to everybody else. She's with you all the time. He's always been there. There's only been two constants in your entire life. God and you. How much attention do you pay to each of you?

• 35:00Ed Mylett?

  You gotta give yourself that gift. It's why you're not happy. It's why you're not more productive. It's why you're not more influential. It's why you're not richer. It's why you don't have the emotions you want. It's why you don't have the body you want. It's why you don't have the things you want. Whatever the things are that you're lacking. It comes down to self-awareness, presence and connection with oneself and one's maker.

• 35:26Ed Mylett?

  I pay attention to humanity. One thing I do a little bit more of than I've ever done in my life is when I walk into places, I observe people.

• 35:34Ed Mylett?

  I observe people. I walk into a restaurant, I'll watch until they come up to me. I'll watch people. And even when they do come up to me, while they're talking, I observe them. I'm present with them. I look at their face. I wonder what their story is. I wonder what their history is. I love to people watch when I'm not noticed and I'm alone in an airport or somewhere. And I love just to watch God's creations, these precious humans. I know this may sound hokey, but I do it a lot. And I pray for them. I'll people walk by me on the street. If they don't recognize me, I'll peace be with you. I just have that thought. This connects me to people. This gives me gratitude and depth. I don't want to be a one dimensional human being.

• 36:16Ed Mylett?

  I want to have multiple dimensions and experience multiple emotions. And the way I do that is I observe. Uh, it sounds corny, but I love if there's stars out at night just to observe and take the time and notice them. You've all done this once or twice in your life and it's just felt good. You can give yourself the gift of that every single day.

• 36:35Ed Mylett?

  Something I do kinda semi regularly is I just look at me in the mirror and notice things about me that are aging or that have changed or. But I like being present with me. It makes me more comfortable with me. I never liked myself before. I never liked myself. I built muscles on my body and made millions of dollars and knew famous people and did all these things to sort of hide from me.

• 37:03Ed Mylett?

  That's not a way to live. Pay attention to your breathing. Pay attention to people. Pay attention to humanity. Pay attention to God's stuff. Pay attention to people. Give them the respect. Show up on time. Show up early.

• 37:17Ed Mylett?

  Hold your gaze with someone longer.

• 37:22Ed Mylett?

  When you see him. Hey, man, how are you? You know what you do? Hey, man. How are you?

• 37:29Ed Mylett?

  And hold the gaze a little longer. Hi, sister. I love you.

• 37:35Ed Mylett?

  When you walk into your office. Just hold the gaze a little longer. Ask the question and listen. Just another tick. How are you?

• 37:45Ed Mylett?

  No, man. How are you?

• 37:48Ed Mylett?

  See the difference? How you doing, buddy? All right, my man. It's supposed to, hey, man. How are you? And hold the gaze and listen.

• 37:59Ed Mylett?

  Woo, it's good stuff.

• 38:02Ed Mylett?

  It's how I sold so much. It's how I got so rich. It's not why I did it. It's why I got the biggest podcast. It's why people think I'm the best or one of the best speakers in the world.

• 38:12Ed Mylett?

  So if you're thinking, hey, man, this is foo foo. This is business too.

• 38:17Ed Mylett?

  How are you? You okay? What's going on? What do you got that you're excited about? And listen. And here's a biggie.

• 38:28Ed Mylett?

  This was a hard one for me.

• 38:32Ed Mylett?

  Hold the hug longer when you see somebody. Hold the hug and give you some data. After a six seconds in a hug, the brain starts to release oxytocin and serotonin. Before that, it doesn't. So if I hug you, hey, what's up? Right? Or hey? It's nothing. If you hold a hug for six seconds, your brain now floods. Starts to release, by the way, serotonin and oxytocin into both of you. Oxytocin, you know, you're getting pleasure from that. People get addicted to this. You're getting pleasure from that. It also increases your immune system and reduces depression. If you can hold the hug for 10 seconds, you get what they call a serotonin oxy flood. A flood.

• 39:16Ed Mylett?

  So you're not only giving yourself that gift if you can do it, but you're giving yourself the gift to other people. What I'm basically saying here on everything is. If you could just hold the gaze a little longer, if you could pay attention to your breathing a little more. If you could just take a flower or a book or your hand or something and just. Get present with it and notice the different things, become an observer and noticer of things. If when you hug somebody, all the data tells us hug it for six seconds, you both get the gift. You wait, if you do four seconds, you don't get any, but hold it for two more seconds. And you get this flood of oxytocin and serotonin. That's just one of God's greatest gifts. It's basically the gratitude chemical. If you want more gratitude.

• 39:58Ed Mylett?

  And so I know this is not stuff you think, my man, my tattoo jacked up. You know, super rich guy that's podcasting, let's do it. Now he's talking about holding hugs longer and looking at flowers and staring at his hand and paying attention to his breathing. And yeah, because the question was, Ed, what is something that I can do to have more happiness, success and gratitude? That most people never talk about. So I could give you the normal list. That everybody else talks about that I've talked about, or I could start on Thursdays to give you stuff you don't hear anywhere in the world. And it's this. And so, and that's why right now I can shift gears and get super intense because I'm fully present. I'm fully self-aware in the moment. Doesn't mean I always am.

• 40:41Ed Mylett?

  But it's helped me control my emotions. It's helped me control my thinking, my intellect, my relationships, all of it. And overall. Be a more blissful, peaceful human being.

• 40:53Speaker 02

  A more connected one. If you really want to know the truth, it's it's it's so many of you pray every single day, but you're just checking the box. Can you be present in that moment and have an appreciation and gratitude for this beautiful time? You're connecting with your maker. In my case, my savior. Like, can you just get a little bit more of the juice? Cause here's what you're thinking. I'll get around to that, man. That's cool. I'll get around to that once I'm successful. I'm telling you, you won't be successful if you don't. You won't be. These are the things that have taken an average, ordinary man like me and built a pretty good life. I have bad days. I have ups and downs. I have emotions. I'm human. I think I pretty much share that on Instagram all the time.

• 41:37Speaker 02

  I want to experience the bad emotions, whatever you think is bad. I don't think they're a good or bad emotion. They're just our emotions. Right? I want to have all of them. I want to be present for them. I want to observe them. I want to be aware of them. I don't want to just go through my life, busy grabbing, accumulating stuff. And thinking someday when I'm old, I'll get around to it. And what I found out was I started doing this young and that's how I got all the stuff.

• 42:07Speaker 02

  But at the same time, you can't love yourself if you don't know yourself and you can't know yourself if you don't spend any time with yourself. And so you gotta spend some time. Man, it's such a great gift just to walk outside and go, what can I observe? Or even in your office, what can I have? You know that before I started this zoom, I'm like, I want to make sure the background's together. This is a true thing. I want to make sure the background's together. I've done a million zooms from where I am. Can I tell you something? I started this and I went, what is that belt buckle? If you're on audio, it doesn't matter, but there's a, what is that belt buckle? Oh my gosh. That's when I won that golf tournament with Milt Walker. Do you know how many zooms I've done and that thing's been there the whole time? I've never noticed it once.

• 42:51Speaker 02

  It's right in my spatial awareness and I haven't noticed it. What does that say? Right? So then I got up and before this, we started and I'm like, I stared at the belt buckle. And I'm like, oh, Wyatt Earp. I remember that tournament. Then there's a sign that we won it. And they put this thing on our locker. And I remember the shot I hit to the 18th green. That was a crazy good seven iron I hit. And then Miltie had to make the putt from like six, eight feet and he drained the putt and we jumped up and down and hugged everyone cheered and we won this golf tournament. It took me all the way back to that moment of total bliss. And it's only because I noticed it finally. But guess what that did for me? Then I'm like, crap, man, that

• 43:32Speaker 02

  was a victory. I win stuff. I'm a winner. I forgot we won that sucker, man. I've been winning stuff forever. Right? And it changed my state. It reminded me I win. It reminded me I'm supposed to win. It reminds me good things happen to me. Because quite frankly, this morning, a bunch of bad things happened. And I had to record two podcasts today. And I sat in here for like an hour before I recorded the first one thinking, how can I deliver? Man, I just not I'm not the juice today. I don't know that I want to do it. Someone wants me to talk about gratitude on a day where my day just started out crappy. And it was one small observation of the belt buckle over my head on Zoom that I didn't just take note of. I got up and looked at it. And it took

• 44:16Speaker 02

  me into that moment. And it completely shifted me. Something that simple. So, observation changes everything in your life. And let's go back to that golf shot I hit. You know what required me to hit that golf shot at that time? And I'm not a great golfer. This is just a golf tournament. But you know why I had the capacity to hit that golf shot? My best golf shot under that most pressure? Because I was fully in that moment. I had fully appreciated that moment. And I took it all in. By the way, I can tell you, because I remember before I hit the shot, I was debating, is it a six or a seven? I threw the grass up in the air. And I can tell you right now, I can see that grass kind of just dropped down right onto my shirt and didn't blow over me. I can see

• 45:01Speaker 02

  those blades of grass right now. I remember going, nah, the wind's not blowing that bad. I think I can hit seven. And I remember I stepped back, I took one practice swing. I had a bad back then. I'm like, my back feels pretty good. And I got over that shot, fully present, fully in the moment.

• 45:18Ed Mylett?

  My golf ball says max out on it and the M was facing me and I remember just keep your eye on the M hit the M. I noticed the smallest possible observation and right when I hit that thing I knew it was clear and he hit a good golf shot went gave you that compression sound I'm like that was a good one. That was a good one. And there was about 100 people, 150 people gathered around the green. And I remember when it landed, I'm like, that must have been a good one, Miltie. He goes, I have a good one, right? We're all the way back to that moment. That moment and just the nothing golf tournament. It's just a simple example of observation being fully present, controlling and being paying attention to my breathing, by the way, in that moment too,

• 46:03Ed Mylett?

  and then executing all the way back. I don't know that was 15 years ago. I've done probably 2000 zooms in this seat and never noticed that belt buckle sitting right up there until today. Because I'm an observer and I wasn't having a great day, I turn and look, there's the belt buckle and I'm like, I'm gonna go observe more of it. I'm gonna take the nuance and the detail, not a glance. I'm gonna hold the gaze a little longer. And as I held that belt buckle up to me and I looked at it, it took me right back into that moment of when we won. Completely changed my state. That's why this stuff matters. So hold the hug a little longer. Give people the respect to

• 46:46Ed Mylett?

  showing up. Notice and perceive a little bit more. Pay attention to your breathing. Notice God's stuff. Notice architecture. Notice people. Notice humanity. Hold the gaze. Take in more detail. Get more of the juice. And all of the juice you want in your life of the other things are much more likely to happen as a result. The man to my left is literally one of the most interesting men in the world. This is Rob Dierdick. Thank you for being here, brother.

• 47:11Rob Dyrdek?

  Thanks for having me. I, you know, I've seen it in video now to experience what it's actually like to be here live. It's, it's so much more beautiful and remarkable than I could ever imagine.

• 47:20Ed Mylett?

  Your show was on in the background. I was at his house. I'm like, this dude's hilarious. And the guy checked me. He goes, just so you know, he's not just hilarious. This dude's special. This dude's like a freak. He's like a super, super successful guy. He's a business guy. I'm like, yeah, right. Then I started to research. I'm like, oh my God. Now, having the conversation, I like, I get it. You know, I understand why. Let's talk about Brianna for a second, though.

• 47:41Rob Dyrdek?

  Sure.

• 47:44Ed Mylett?

  You said something, man, that blew me away, because I think it's true in business, it's true in family, it's true in fitness and everything. You said that you were kind of one kind of a dude, live in a certain way, and that you knew that you needed to become a certain version of you in order to attract the spouse, the mate, the life partner that you wanted in your life. And I think that's true, like in business, we have to become that person too. So tell them about how you did that and what you were thinking.

• 48:11Rob Dyrdek?

  You know, I would, I would almost equate it the same way that I was saying earlier, where I was just doing all of this, like, different stuff, thinking that one was gonna show me the way. I would think that I, I was thinking like, eventually I would find the right woman that would make the right man, you know, like-

• 48:34Ed Mylett?

  Make you the right man.

• 48:35Rob Dyrdek?

  Right, you know what I mean, like, that sort of idea. And I just knew that, that the same time of sort of this, this revolution of mindset of like, no, you need to start to be the person that you want to be. And I think that ultimately, it allowed me to, to create the narrative and, and the storyline of like, this, if, the perfect woman for me should love the way that I am, not wish that I could change to be the way they wish I was, if you will, right?

• 49:13Rob Dyrdek?

  And to me, I tried to be, to create that in all aspects of life. So when I did finally found her, because God brought her right to me, you know what I'm saying? It was like, man, I'm not, it was like, like, I did a year of like, really in this like, deep mindset, kept telling every one of my friends, you have got to, you have got to be like this. If you want to find great love, you've got to prepare yourself for great love. Which, I mean, I was like preaching it, and they were just, so when she showed up, they were like, it worked. It wasn't like, it wasn't like, oh, Rob, like, he's a- I preached it so loud and so pure to like, every single one of them, and how they needed to act,

• 49:56Rob Dyrdek?

  and if you really wanted to, and it was- It was, I kid you not, every single one of my friends, I had preached it so much that when like I would introduce her, it happened. You know what I mean? Like, it really like, like, can you believe it? Like, and the trippiest thing about it is, you know, you, there's all these expectations and thoughts and excitement that comes into like thinking you met the one, right? Now, let reality set in, right? Like, oh, it's this, and imagine now the opposite is the reality of your love and life is actually 10 times better

• 50:40Rob Dyrdek?

  than you could have ever envisioned when you laid out the most perfect scenario.

• 50:45Ed Mylett?

  You're such a good guy, too. You know, the other thing you won't say about yourself, but everybody that knows you that knows me, is just the first thing they don't tell me is about your brilliance or your success. It's not the first thing they tell me. He's just such a good man. He cares about people so much, and that's why this is so real.

• 50:59Rob Dyrdek?

  And which is ultimately, you want that. You know what I mean? Like, you also like, like, you want that to be part of your reputation and ultimately, why people respect you. You know what I mean? I want to be respected for, like, being like the man, the father, the husband, the family man, like, someone working. I want like, to be respected for the way that I live life and the type of person I am, as opposed to what I simply achieved.

• 51:30Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, yeah. I think you are. I think you're becoming that, and I'm proud of you, and we're just getting to know each other. I want you to do one thing for me, though. I want them to know this about you. I think all people should be, I think people matter, things don't, right? I have that philosophy, and I think you're amazing at like, creating moments. And I'm not talking about like shark attacks and jockeying a horse or anything. I'm talking about like, life moments, like, you're conscious of creating moments. So, within this structure of your life, which you are, like, in your businesses, you're very systematized, you're very, you need that, you want that, yet you have this complete freedom to have all these magic moments. So, like, just real quick, I want to go through a couple with you that I just know about. Like, your first date with Brianna wasn't even normal. Didn't you like, go rescue?

• 52:14Speaker 02

  Puppies or something on a first, like, is that right?

• 52:16Rob Dyrdek?

  Yeah, look, so look, I mean.

• 52:18Speaker 02

  You take this for granted, that's not a normal first date.

• 52:21Rob Dyrdek?

  Look, no, you don't, no, that wasn't, it wasn't intended to be that way. It was, you know, just, just taking a shot, right?

• 52:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:29Rob Dyrdek?

  And we had, we had, we met via DM on Twitter.

• 52:34Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 52:35Rob Dyrdek?

  The Modern Way That Love forum. And she was posting about like these, like, you know, big thing that had been going on is like this kennel was getting, they're euthanizing all the dogs in Bakersfield. And so, you know, I was texting her and, you know, asking her, you know, would you like to hang out this, this weekend, you know, what do you have in mind to do? And so I, I was thinking it was in Ontario or somewhere close. I was thinking, let's go rescue these puppies, we can drive out there. And I'm like, ah, it's like six hours away, but I still, you wanna know what? I was thinking we take a helicopter to, to Bakersfield, rescue these puppies, you know what I mean? Just being all like, you know, slick and funny, so funny.

• 53:21Rob Dyrdek?

  And like a half hour later, she was like, sure. Or no, she was like, perfect. And I'm like, what? I'm like, that was kind of a joke. And then I gotta, can somebody get me a helicopter?

• 53:31Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 53:32Rob Dyrdek?

  And we never spoke on the phone, anything, like, you know, first time we met was like, you know, like, picked her up and drove straight to the airport and jumped in a helicopter and got to know each other by flying to Bakersfield to rescue some puppies. And, and look, and I was so deep, and now we're in a moment, okay? Now we're in a moment and, and throughout that flight, I was like, not even a question, this is who I meant to marry and spend the rest of my life, so it's instant for me. So I'm like, since this is so instantaneous, I'm like, we gotta get a puppy to remember this by. But it's still like first date, like you still wanna try to get this puppy into this helicopter

• 54:13Rob Dyrdek?

  right now, like, like the fact that we did not actually rescue a puppy that day is still something.

• 54:19Speaker 02

  So you did not get a puppy that day?

• 54:20Rob Dyrdek?

  We did not.

• 54:21Speaker 02

  But then like you repeat this, like these moments, like, and by the way, there's dudes listening, oh, I can't afford a helicopter, just do something special, man.

• 54:26Rob Dyrdek?

  Yeah.

• 54:27Speaker 02

  Just find a way to make a moment, make a memory, right? Take a walk, you know, do something.

• 54:31Rob Dyrdek?

  I mean, look, I went, yeah.

• 54:31Speaker 02

  You just took another helicopter ride on your anniversary, though.

• 54:34Rob Dyrdek?

  Yeah, much sketchier one that she was not happy with like when we get in this tiny it where I was like, I didn't even like think about the first one. We was such a long trip. It was a more sizable, manageable one. We get in this like somebody's backyard copter. We take over there. But look, again, it's, let's go have fun, right? Like I am, my success is not predicated on trying to achieve some sort of financial milestone that I can do anything other than live an amazing life. And being able to surprise her with a helicopter trip to Catalina.

• 55:16Rob Dyrdek?

  You know, having the kids taken care of and like she doesn't know what it is and then like, oh, then this super unique adventure where we land on the top of a mountain. I don't know if you've ever been there, but you got to land at an airport in the sky at sixteen hundred feet. Then take a forty minute drive down a sketchy road to get to the town. Super weird and driving by bison because they did a movie in the twenties and left all these bison over there. It was just this.

• 55:40Speaker 05

  It's Catalina, right?

• 55:41Rob Dyrdek?

  Yeah, it's like, have you ever, have you ever been to the, okay.

• 55:44Speaker 05

  I've helicoptered over.

• 55:45Rob Dyrdek?

  Look, I've never been there. I didn't know what it was, but for us, that should be what life's about. It's like, go on, go experience just a twelve hour adventure. You know what I mean? We left at four, came back at eight the next morning, had to take our daughter to the pediatrician. I had to go do meetings all day, right?

• 56:02Speaker 05

  That's amazing, brother, how you navigate these different spaces.

• 56:05Rob Dyrdek?

  And it's such a fun, great experience. And I think not only do I set the precedent for it

• 56:14Rob Dyrdek?

  in our, in our life and I'm, you know, whether it's like every, every occasion I try to, to put that level in.

• 56:23Speaker 05

  You do it every morning. You do it every morning with your little ones, right?

• 56:26Rob Dyrdek?

  And like, and I want to add those experiences long term for the kids too. You know what I mean? Like so that there are moments that they can look back and, and that, you know, their dad is, you know, I'm not a normal dad. You know, I'm a little bit nutty, you know, and that, how that ultimate. You know, I'm pretty disciplined and militant with with the children from a structure standpoint, which does include full-fledged, full-scale singing every single morning at like the highest level. Dancing, sometimes I'll make him just like dance before he gets out of bed, you know, like, and hit him with the positive reinforcement of like been drilling in his head over and over. He's happy. I'm happy, I'm happy, strong, strong, smart, smart, healthy, healthy.

• 57:12Rob Dyrdek?

  And just self-belief of just you can do anything because you believe in you. Say, I believe in me, I believe in me, right? It's.

• 57:23Ed Mylett?

  It's amazing.

• 57:24Rob Dyrdek?

  It's let's give this them this beautiful house of love and peacefulness and then just try to and believe them to to have belief in themselves and and help nourish that because at the end of the day, it's the only way you ever do anything, right? It's like even when people call it experience, experience is just gaining knowledge to believe that you can go achieve something at a higher level, right? And and you're only your pursuit, why you stay in lanes that you fully understand because you believe you can do it because you understand it well enough, right? And when you take that step out to learn something new,

• 58:02Rob Dyrdek?

  you you have to be sitting there with with some doubt on whether or not you could do it because you've never done it before. You don't have a foundation of belief. But if your life is about taking risks and you believe that you can figure anything out along the way, you take that leap into that new thing in a system of how you create belief to make sure that you can irregardless of whatever that may be.

• 58:28Ed Mylett?

  That's amazing. People watch this, two of the more successful entrepreneurs under the age of 50 in a room together. And then like, you know, what do you do with your families? He gets up every morning and sings with his. I dance with my daughter every morning. I show her a move in the 90s every morning. I told you that. And you do your sayings with your kids and mine with my son is you're a leader, you're a gladiator. You're the greatest of all time. He's been hearing that since he was a little boy. My daughter is that she's a superstar and she can do anything, hugs, not drugs. I do these sayings. Everyone, you know, they're at the age where they roll their eyes now, right? But the fact is, we both do these things where we do this wacky crap with our kids. So you know those pieces in your closet that you find yourself wearing like on repeat all the time? That sweater that kind of just goes with everything? Or these perfect pair of pants?

• 59:12Ed Mylett?

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• 59:57Ed Mylett?

  Now available in Canada and the UK too. That's Q U I N C E dot com slash ed. So you know, I've been trying to take my health and my morning routine to the next level. And I used to do a whole bunch of different stuff, tons of different supplements. And then I found all in one in a drink with IM8. IM8 is the way to simplify your supplement routine, finally, once and for all. 16 supplements replaced 90 ingredients across nine major organ systems in one drink. You can have all these supplements for $2.61 a day. I've changed my mornings. The whole IM8 routine has changed my mornings. I feel great and I bring energy to the entire day.

• 1:00:35Ed Mylett?

  Go to im8health.com/ed10 right now or click the link in the description and use code ED10 for a free welcome kit, five free travel sachets, plus 10% off your order. That's code ED10 at im8health.com/ed10. Code ED10 at im8health.com/ed10. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Very short intermission here folks, I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Now on to our next guest. I always put these polls out to you guys saying, "Who do you want on my show?"

• 1:01:18Ed Mylett?

  And there kept being this name coming up, this beautiful name by the way. Fallon Taylor, Fallon Taylor, get her on your show. But she's probably best known for being a world barrel racing champion. I'm so excited for you guys to hear this story, so thank you for being here Fallon.

• 1:01:30Fallon Taylor?

  Thank you so much.

• 1:01:31Ed Mylett?

  Talk a little bit about some of the things you've transitioned. So then that happens.

• 1:01:35Fallon Taylor?

  Right.

• 1:01:36Ed Mylett?

  And then what I think's remarkable about you, and I bet maybe this has happened, but then it's gotta be, now you gotta find the next identity.

• 1:01:41Fallon Taylor?

  Right.

• 1:01:42Ed Mylett?

  Right, it's like you get to different levels in life and that could be, someone could be listening, say that what I, my dream was always to become a mother. Let's say, just pick something. And I've become a mother and I'm a world-class mother. And it's the most fulfilling thing you'll ever do. Or maybe it's a business you wanted to start and now you've got that business. But all of us need to be searching for that next identity, that next thing we're chasing. Life is about the chase to an extent, right?

• 1:02:04Fallon Taylor?

  It's always growth and contribution, growth and contribution. If I can continue to grow, then I can continue to contribute. And that's where the real fulfillment comes from. Because if I go see my name in lights and I win the world title, well guess what? At midnight that night, Pro Rodeo was on a search for a new world champion. After that, and I woke up that next morning after I won the world like, "Okay, well now you've caught the tiger, you caught the bear."

• 1:02:28Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:28Fallon Taylor?

  Now what do you do?

• 1:02:29Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:29Fallon Taylor?

  And I went into a horribly dark depressive state.

• 1:02:32Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:33Fallon Taylor?

  Horrible. And then I started to research athletes. And I saw this cycle of they've won, you know, you see people that have won amazing things and then they just, you know, they just puddle.

• 1:02:43Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 1:02:44Fallon Taylor?

  And it's because you catch the tiger, you catch the bear. And then you're like, "Well, what do I feed it now? What do I do with this thing?" I thought that all of those problems would go away. I thought that I would have the perfect relationship by now. Or I thought I would have the dream car by now. Or I thought all these things would just magically line up. There's no limo waiting for you when you finally reach that, that thing. You're still gonna have people, the person that didn't think you could accomplish anything, once you accomplish it, will say, "But I can't, I bet you can't do it five times."

• 1:03:13Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 1:03:14Fallon Taylor?

  Well, why would I try that? You know, why would I do that? So, I think in the, in the space of one foot in front of the other, I started to have to get myself out of this really dark space. So, I started to just work on making sure that I was okay. You know, making sure that, gone through all the strength. I know how strong I am. Let me go back and put some, instead of Band-Aids on these bullet wounds of my relationships, or my finances, or what I really want to do, or could I actually help other people do this? When I started to really mend that, and put some buttons on some things that really need to be taken care of, I found so much more fulfillment. When I found true fulfillment, and I continue to find it. And it's never done. It's never done. You know, you do this show, it's fabulous, it's amazing.

• 1:03:59Fallon Taylor?

  Everybody's learning so much. But then there will come a point when you're like, "I'm gonna feel fulfilled some other way. I'm gonna do some other thing that's gonna make me feel really great." Maybe spending time with family, or going to, you know, your place in Idaho that you love so much. It's the same thing.

• 1:04:13Ed Mylett?

  But you found the formula. Let me just tell you, it's growth and contribution.

• 1:04:17Fallon Taylor?

  It is.

• 1:04:17Ed Mylett?

  And I want to say something that you said. I'm so glad you just said this, particularly for the female listeners and watchers. And that is, you, ladies especially, but there's a lot of dudes like this too. But ladies, you don't take care of yourself.

• 1:04:32Fallon Taylor?

  Right.

• 1:04:32Ed Mylett?

  You're always caring for other people. You're expending all of your energy for the people that you love, and the people that you're caring for. Or you're expending the energy on the things about yourself that you don't love yet, right? Self-care, like whether it's like, I mean, it could be simple. Like, just like, read a great book and relax. Take a bath. Do something kind for yourself. Get a massage. If you don't have any money, give yourself the gift of meditating or taking a walk.

• 1:04:55Fallon Taylor?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 1:04:56Ed Mylett?

  Isn't that true? Because a lot of your followers are women.

• 1:04:59Fallon Taylor?

  I found a lot of really great free drugs, basically. Because I'm not a drinker, you know.

• 1:05:04Ed Mylett?

  I know you're not. I tried to get her to have a drink before, so I did it.

• 1:05:07Fallon Taylor?

  Very straight-laced. Found free drugs. You know, there's all sorts of things. Dopamine from things we love. Or endorphins from working out. All of these things that I can get from fulfilling myself. And especially for the female audience, you know, I think that it's, we're, we're meant to be nurturers, and homemakers, and we're meant to be people that are always fulfilling everyone else's needs. And just like you said, if we don't take care of ourselves, those people don't get the parts of us that they love. And there's nothing worse than trying to love a woman that's 20% herself. Or 10% herself, or 5% herself. You can be a mother and you can be beautiful. Or you can be a mother and you can be somebody that expresses yourself through all the arts and crafts that people told you to put away and become an adult.

• 1:05:50Fallon Taylor?

  Or you can do all of those things. But the real contribution back, if you really want to be nurturing and you really want to give the most to your family, is to give them you at 100%.

• 1:06:00Speaker 05

  Oh, wow.

• 1:06:01Fallon Taylor?

  Give them your full version.

• 1:06:03Speaker 05

  So totally amazingly agree with you. And I can see 99% of the women nodding their head going with you. Then there's the 1% of the ladies who go, "Oh, that's not me. You know, I'm in a career..." Well, take a look at your career. Like, I bet you at your career, you're nurturing and taking care of the people around you.

• 1:06:19Fallon Taylor?

  Heck, yeah.

• 1:06:19Speaker 05

  Caring about them, loving them, doing three people's jobs and covering up for the people who don't work. So it's you too, girl. Trust me, it's something. And by the way, men have this as well, but it is more... I'm so glad you said it because oftentimes, super achiever women often aren't willing to express that thought to other women. And so it's wonderful that you give people that gift. Today, we're going to cut through all of the BS and get to two of the most fundamental things that I think you have to have in order to go achieve at the highest levels. You know, we talk oftentimes about strategies and tactics and mindset. And there's a million different things that, you know, we could talk about that contribute to winning in life. But at the highest levels, if you were to distill it down to two very simple things

• 1:07:02Speaker 05

  that I would wish for you, that I see in the people I coach. Like, if I'm going to recruit somebody into my business, what are the things I look for in them? Is it background? Is it intellect? Is it people's skills? Is it their ability to close? There's all these things. The things that I look for in people are hunger and focus. It's their ability to be super hungry for what they want, incredibly after it, and the ability to be laser focused. And I want you today to evaluate those two things in you. Let's start with hunger level. I mean, how bad do you want your goal right now? I think there's a lot of people in the world today because it's a really niche thing to talk about. "I want this, this is my outcome, this is my goal." Like, how bad do you want? Do you want as bad as breathing? Do you want it as bad as anything you've ever wanted in your life?

• 1:07:47Speaker 05

  And if you calibrate it... At the highest enough levels, what I've found is the people that are the hungriest, they find a way. When you know why you want something, when it's desperation. The power of being desperate is something that most people avoid. They think desperation is a weakness. And I'm here to tell you desperation is one of the most powerful emotions you could possibly possess. Because when you're desperate, you find reserves and reservoirs of ideas, talents, and a strength that you don't know you have when you find yourself in a desperate situation. So ironically, the one thing most people avoid in their life, hunger, which is caused by being desperate. When you're starving, you become desperate. Think of somebody who's starving on the street.

• 1:08:30Speaker 05

  They've got to, how resourceful would you get if your children were literally starving and you had to feed them, right? So the number one thing we need, more than anything to win, is hunger, which comes from a state of desperation. Yet we're constantly trying to comfort ourselves in the real world to avoid the state of being desperate. And I'm telling you that I think you need to embrace desperation again in your life. Like, do you want it so bad that you're desperate for it? Let me give you an example. I can tell you that I think the times that you've achieved at the highest levels in your life, you might have been the most desperate. Let me give you an example. If you were sitting here and you're in a meeting right now, and someone tapped you on the shoulder, God forbid this ever happened, they said, "Your child's been in an accident,

• 1:09:15Speaker 05

  and they've been rushed to the hospital and it's grave." Instantly, you'd be desperate to get to your child, wouldn't you? Those of you that don't have children, if it was your parents, you'd be instantly desperate to get to them. And think about what happens when that desperation kicks in. All of the things we worry about, all of our fears, all of our concerns, all of the lack of resources we have, immediately fade away because we must get to this child of ours, this loved one of ours. And so, if you were in the middle of a conference and they said, "Your child has been in a serious accident, it's grave, you need to get to them." Would you sit there and think for a minute, "Well, I don't want to get up right now in the middle of their speech because what will everybody think about me? I mean, I don't want to make waves here." That would go away, wouldn't you? You'd get right the hell up and run out of the room.

• 1:10:00Speaker 05

  If when you got to the back of the room, there was a security guard that said, "Hold on a minute." Stop. Nobody leaves this room. A very important person's up there speaking right now. Would you go, "You're right. Sorry, I don't want to violate protocol. I don't want to go, I don't want to color outside the lines here. You're right. I'll go back to my seat." Would you do that? Of course not, because you're desperate. Whatever is required of you to get to this child, this loved one of yours, you would do. And when you went out to the parking lot and you got into your car and you realized, "My gosh, I forgot my keys. I left them in the room." Would you go, "Well, it's just a sign. I mean, maybe I just don't have what it takes to get to my child." That silly, stupid story. You wouldn't do that at all, would you? You'd immediately respond. You'd get back up. You'd run in the room. You'd knock the security guard down.

• 1:10:43Speaker 05

  You'd go back. You'd get your keys. You'd run back out. When you turn the car on, it didn't start. The battery was dead. Would you go, "Yeah, that's just another sign. You know, maybe I'm just not cut out to get to my destination, to get to my child, to get to this loved one of mine." No, because you're desperate to get there, aren't you? So you'd throw the keys away and you'd run. If you had to go to the next stoplight and carjack a car, you'd say, "Listen, drive me to the hospital. I have to get to my child." And the person said, "No," would you stop at the first objection? Would you say, "Well, yeah, I don't know exactly what..." Would you say, "No, you don't understand. You're taking me there." And if they hesitate, if you had to carjack the dad gum car, you'd carjack it, wouldn't you, when you got there? And when you got to the hospital, if they tried to stop you again and said, "No, no, no.

• 1:11:28Speaker 05

  You gotta sign in and fill out all this paperwork. You gotta do it perfect." You say, "No, that's my child. I've gotta get to them." Wouldn't you? Whatever it took, you'd get to that loved one of yours. Nothing would stop you. All of the silly things that happen, that we let slow us down, is related to our lack of hunger and desperation. And so I'm here to ask you, how desperate are you for what you want? Like, here's what I think. I think most people would just like their goals. They'd like their outcome, but they're not hungry for them. They're not starving for it. They're not desperate for it. But when you start to feel that desperation, it's one of the most powerful emotions in the world, because you become so resourceful.

• 1:12:11Speaker 05

  You become so determined, and all the noise goes away. See, all of these objections, all of these fears, all of these old stories you tell yourself, all the excuses that you're making, and I love you, so I'm saying this to you, are all going back to a lack of real hunger, real desire, real desperation. Because real desperation is beautiful. The most alive you'll ever feel ironically is when you're the most desperate. You talk to people who are the closest to death and an accident and they'll tell you ironically, "It was the most alive I've ever felt." Because you're so desperate to survive, you're so desperate to get through it. Yet in life, we try to avoid this all the time. And I'm here to tell you, embrace the desperation, seek the desperation.

• 1:12:54Speaker 05

  So if you ask me, what do I look for in someone I'm coaching, in an athlete, in a business person? Show me somebody hungry. I'll take hunger and desire over IQ, over knowledge, over skills, every day of the week. Because I can teach you skills. I can teach you the lessons, I can teach you the words, but I can't give you heart, I can't give you hunger, I can't give you desire. I can't give you the courage to be desperate. Because desperate people look a little funny. Desperate people don't fit in. Desperate people stand out. You see someone desperate, you're like, "Whoa, what's going on with them?" Desperate people get criticism. And most people would rather not stand out. They'd rather not leave the crowd, they'd rather not take the criticism, they'd rather not take the heat.

• 1:13:38Speaker 05

  So most people say, "I'd love to be a millionaire, I'd love to win, I'd love my dream relationship, I'd love the best body I could have, I'd love to be happier, but I don't want to look bad doing it. I don't want to seem desperate, I don't want to seem different, I don't want to step out of the crowd." And as long as you're one of those people who won't step out, who won't look a little bit funny, who worries more about what other people think about them than truly winning, you're always going to be held back. The number one thing I want is hunger and desperation, man, every single time. So evaluate that right now, listening to this audio or watching this video. What's your level of real hunger? What's your level of real desperation? How bad do you really want it? Or would you just like it?

• 1:14:22Speaker 05

  Do you need it like you need to breathe? Do you need it like you need to eat? Do you need it like you need to exist? Or do you just kinda want it? Cause you show me two people. You show me one person who's desperate and hungry. You show me another one who'd like it or wants it. You show me one person who's willing to look bad and get uncomfortable and color outside the lines and do whatever they gotta do to get to their destination, to get to their child, to get to their dream. And you show me another one who won't? I'll take this person every day of the week. Maybe they don't come from the perfect background. Maybe they don't have all the perfect words. Maybe they don't have all the right relationships. But they got the goodies, man. They got the one thing you gotta have to win, which is hunger and desire and some heart. And I know you've heard these things before.

• 1:15:07Speaker 05

  But now I want you to be self-aware. Really, how hungry are you? What are you doing to feed your hunger? What are you doing to feed the fact that you feel like you're starving? Cause the more you want something, the lack of it makes you more and more hungry. For example, if I were really hungry and I needed some food, it's one thing to want it. It's another thing, when that food's right in front of me and I'm not allowed to eat it, I become hungrier. So the closer you bring what you want to you increases its hunger level. The more repetitious it is, the more you think about it, the more you bring it into your thoughts over and over and over again, the hungrier you get. That's why repetitive thought about what you want is so critical. So evaluate that. Am I as hungry as I could be? Am I as starving as I could be?

• 1:15:51Speaker 05

  Do I want it so bad, I'm desperate for it? Do I want it like that person who has to get to their child? Or their loved one? Or would I just like it? Would I hope for it? Because as long as you're one of those people. See, in a fight... You show me two people, this is why it's so hard to repeat as a champion in the fighting game. Because you show me someone who's up and coming, who's hungry for that title, who's never had it before, who can taste it, who knows if they win that belt, their whole life's gonna change. They're gonna be champion of the world, all the endorsements, all the money, all their family life, all their parents' lives are gonna change. You show me somebody chasing that hungry for it, against someone who's just trying to hold on to a title? And that's why most of the time, the challenger beats the champ. It's hard to repeat as a champion,

• 1:16:35Speaker 05

  because the hunger goes down just a little bit. The greatest athletes, the Kobes, the Brady's, the Jordans of sports, have a way of feeding their hunger all the time and increasing it. What separates them isn't just their work ethic, isn't just their talent, although those things matter, isn't just they practice more. What separates them is they're just hungrier. They somehow find a way as they climb up the ranks and win championships, to get even hungrier for more, where 99% of the athletes lose just a little bit of their edge once they get that first championship, that first pro contract, that first big amount of money, that first world championship. They just lose their hunger a little bit. And then there's the elite, they get hungrier. It feeds the beast. For some of you,

• 1:17:19Speaker 05

  have you been hungrier in the past? Let's be honest. In the past, were you hungrier for that first promotion? Hungrier for that first goal? Hungrier for the first house? Hungrier for the first relationship? Hungrier for the first time you got fit? And if you lost a little of that hunger, where you're just not quite as desperate as you used to be. And so it's feeding your desperation. And the way we do that is we feed it to ourselves over and over again, because it becomes something we must have. We have to have it, like we gotta eat, like we gotta breathe. Feed the hunger. Feed the desperation, embrace it. Don't try to look so pretty, because this desperate state eliminates all the things that hold you back. Your fears, your worries, what you don't know, what the obstacles are, signs, haters,

• 1:18:03Speaker 05

  lack of information, lack of blah blah blah. It all goes away when you're hungry. The second thing is focus. Can you get laser focused? Human beings can get incredibly Great at anything they put their minds to. Total immersion in any topic. Most human beings can become great if they give themselves enough time. The truth is, most people overestimate what they can do in a month or a year. And they dramatically underestimate what they can do in five years or 10 years. If you get total immersion in a business, total immersion in your body, total immersion in your faith, you totally get laser obsessed focused at something. It's incredible how great human beings are at adapting and becoming great at it. One example is cancer.

• 1:18:46Speaker 05

  My dad, as many of you know, is fighting a particular type of cancer called liposarcoma. I didn't know how to spell liposarcoma three or four years ago. I didn't know it existed. I didn't know what it was or how it functioned. I'm not an oncologist. I'm not a doctor. I'd never read anything about it. But all of a sudden, liposarcoma became pretty important to me. And I consider myself now, I've read hundreds of periodicals and articles, and I've asked questions and talked to other doctors. And you know what? I know an awful lot about something I knew nothing about many years ago. And I've become kind of an expert on it. I've had my own conditions with my heart. I know a lot about the heart. I know a lot about the medications. I understand inflammation in the body.

• 1:19:28Speaker 05

  I've become sort of a quasi-expert on two things I knew nothing about. Many, many years ago, I knew nothing about communicating on camera or starting a podcast. I'll tell you a funny story. When my podcast started, I was encouraged to do it by Tony Robbins. And when my podcast started, he said, "Hey, you gotta order..." People say, "I know, you're listening to the number one business podcast in the world." That didn't even exist two years ago, okay? I knew nothing about podcasting, nothing about how this worked. I did not even know what a podcast was. I want you to understand something. When I was first told to have a podcast, I did not know what one was. And so he says, "You gotta have one of these." I said, "What are they? You know, where do you get the microphones? Where do you get the stuff you talk to?" Before I had this stuff on camera. This is a true story.

• 1:20:12Speaker 05

  He goes, "I don't know. Figure it out." My team did it all for me. I'm like, "Okay." So I Google... How to start a podcast? This is how I began what you're listening to right now. Number one in the world right now. Fastest growing show on earth. I Google "how to start a podcast." And Tim Ferriss, who had a successful podcast, had done a podcast on how to start a podcast. And so I listened to his podcast. At the end of it, there was notes. And he said, "If you click on this link, it takes you to Amazon. There's a kit there with the microphones and the recording device and all the stuff you do to start a podcast." I thought, "Okay." So this started by me Googling "how to start a podcast." Tim Ferriss had a kit. I listened to the show. I bought the kit. I got back and I said, "Tony." I said, "So now what do I do?"

• 1:20:57Speaker 05

  He goes, "I don't know. Set the mics up and just start talking about something." And I'm like, "All right." So I do like a 30-minute audio. I set the mics up. I got all the equipment Tim Ferriss said you should have. And I'm done. And I call him back and I said, "Hey, brother. I did the podcast. How do I get what I said out of the machine?" And he goes, "I don't know. Well, you got, it's on the chip. Take the chip." Now here's how stupid I am. I'm like, "Chips? I don't, there's no chips." He goes, "Yeah, there's a chip you put in the machine." I go, "No one said anything about chips, man. I don't, you, you know, are they, you eat these?" Like, he goes, "No, dummy. There's a chip, like a micro something or other." He didn't know either.

• 1:21:42Speaker 05

  "You put it in the machine." And I go, "Shit, I didn't, I don't think I have one of those." So I look and there's no chip. So I literally talked for 30 minutes into a microphone that never even recorded anything. So then I go get the chip. I put the chip in the machine. I do the 30 minutes again. And then I call him, I go, "Okay, it's on the chip. How do you get the chip into the universe where people hear what you're saying?" Like, I didn't know this, babe. He goes, "I don't know. I think you stick it in your computer." So I'm on the phone. I stick the chip in my computer. This is the number one show in the world now. I stick the chip in the computer. I go, "Okay, it's in the computer. What button do I hit so people in the world can hear it out of my computer?" I'm not kidding you. He goes, "I have no idea, man. I don't know how this stuff works." So finally, I figure out,

• 1:22:28Speaker 05

  "Oh, you gotta download the chip onto your computer and then it goes to a thing called Libsyn." I knew none of this stuff. The first podcast I did never got recorded. I Googled how to do it. The chip sat in my computer for two months because I couldn't figure out how to get it out of my computer into the internet. Okay? That's how my podcast started. But I've become laser focused about podcasting. I'm like, "Oh." Then people said, "You should record it and put it on YouTube as well." So I've learned, "Where do you get the cameras? How do they do it? How do they post it on YouTube? What do you type?" I knew none of this stuff. My first Instagram video, literally true story. I do a 30-minute video. My son's kind of the guru. I do the one-minute story, rather.

• 1:23:12Speaker 05

  I posted, I got three views the next day and one like. And I call up, this is what I hear. I call up Tony and I go, "Hey, no one listened to my Instagram video." He goes, "Well, you posted it at 1 o'clock, man. You need to post around breakfast time." And this is what I hear him say. I don't know anything about this stuff. True story, swear to you. He goes, "You gotta post around breakfast time and, dummy, you got no hash browns in your post." And I'm like, trying to not pretend I don't know anything. So I'm going, "Why do you, I gotta post at breakfast time and for, why does it need to be hash browns? This makes no sense to me." So now I'm mad, but I pretend to know what he's saying.

• 1:23:54Speaker 05

  And I call my son, I say, "Hey, you said you knew about this stuff. You're 15 years old, you're internet savvy. Don't you know all the videos have to be posted at breakfast times? And you gotta have hash browns in the video." My son's like, "Dad, why would it matter what food is in your video?" I go, "I don't know, but he's telling me it has to be breakfast time with hash browns." We went the whole day, my first post, lamenting the fact that I had no hash browns in my video. Turns out, he was saying hashtags. But I didn't even know what a hashtag was two years ago. And so finally, we figured out the hashtags, how to post, how to do a podcast.

• 1:24:37Speaker 05

  And it leads us to where you and I are here today. That's because I've been focused and obsessed in this field now for the better part of... of a year and a half to two years. So not only did I figure out how to get into the internet, not did I figure out it doesn't matter what breakfast foods are in my posts, that it was hashtags. Not only did I understand how what chips were, you don't even know what kind of chips I think he was talking after the hash browns. You don't even want to know. But suffice it to say, I figured out what type of chips. A year and a half later, for my podcast now, and I like him, to do more downloads than Tim Ferriss does. After, and he does a great podcast, but after learning about his kit and Googling how to do it, to think that it's come this far is mind blowing because human beings that get obsessed and immersed in any topic can become great at it, and so can you.

• 1:25:21Speaker 05

  So pick what you want and get laser focused. Begin to eliminate all the distractions. You are not hungry enough. You are not starving enough and you are not focused enough. I say this to you as a friend. What are the things that are stealing your focus? Who are the people that are stealing your focus? And begin to eliminate these distractions. Get laser focused and obsessed on what you want. Be starving and hungry to get it. Be desperate to get it. The combination of desperation and hunger with laser focus over an extended period of time is the formula to be great at something. And you can apply this formula. Get laser focused, eliminate distractions, eliminate the things that steal your laser focused on it.

• 1:26:05Speaker 05

  Your research on it, your obsession on it. Begin to do these things and you will begin to change your entire life. Yes, I want your mindset better. Yeah, I want your identity higher. No question it's important to have great associations in your life. But dad got it. You've got to get hungry and you've got to get focused. And I know these sound like basic things, but go to any area of your life you want something right now. Pick the number one thing you want to change. Body, money, business, relationship, faith, I don't care what it is. Pick it right now. One to 10, how hungry are you? How desperate are you? One to 10, the most desperate and hungry you could be. Rank yourself. Number two, how laser crazy obsessed focused are you on what it is you want? One to 10.

• 1:26:49Speaker 05

  10 being hyper psycho, crazy obsessed, focused, nothing's in your way.

• 1:26:55Speaker 05

  And to the extent you can increase your desperation and hunger and your obsessive focus will be to the extent that you can flourish. Because when those things convene and converge, all of a sudden, the collaborations, the people, the circumstances, the breakthroughs, the insights necessary begin to reveal themselves to you. And not only that, reveal themselves to you with momentum and speed at which you cannot believe. You can wake up a year and a half later, be number one in the world at something that you didn't even know existed before. I'm a testimony to that, and you can be as well. Your success is going to be predicated, more than anything, on your hunger and desperation level and your ability to get laser focused

• 1:27:38Speaker 05

  and eliminate the distractions in your life. This is what makes us great. I think of athletes that I know, I've watched them get obsessed and hungry early in their careers. And as they make a little bit of money, they start, you know, they're a rapper now. Now they're an actor, now they're a producer, now they're a business person. And their basketball, or football, or baseball, or boxing, or UFC career begins to suffer as their focus gets diminished, as their obsession gets diminished, as their immersion gets diminished. The great ones never lose that. They never lose the hunger, they only increase it over time. I always try to lay out for you what the solutions are, and then I like to give you a plan. I want to give you a four-step plan to both increase your hunger and increase your focus at the same time.

• 1:28:23Speaker 05

  So the first step is always to evaluate where you are currently. So give yourself an evaluation. As I've asked you, 1 to 10, how would you rank your hunger and desire level? Are you all the way desperate? Are you the most desperate you possibly could be? Because again, I promise you, this is a healthy form of desperation. Okay, so 1 to 10, evaluate where you are. And then also give yourself an evaluation of where you are in your laser obsessive focus. 1 being completely unfocused, distracted constantly, even forgetting what our goals are. 5 is, we're on it from time to time, we keep some notes, we evaluate. 10 is just obsessed, crazy, nothing else matters, focused. If you're not at least at a level 8 or 9, you're not optimizing. Your effectiveness level at both of those areas.

• 1:29:07Speaker 05

  Number two, you must become more intentional to change those things. So it's just starting out, everything in life comes from intention. You must intend to increase these things. So I want you to become incredibly intentional at feeding your hunger level. Bringing the goal closer to you, repeating it over and over, makes you starving for it. And the more you can increase that state, the more you stay focused. Ironically, there's a connection between hunger and desperation and focus. They're related, so be intentional about them. The story I gave you about if, God forbid, a loved one or a child of yours was in an accident. Can you imagine how focused you immediately become when something becomes that important to you? That desperate to you?

• 1:29:51Speaker 05

  What happens is, everything else, all the distractions of what other people think about us, any other circumstances, what we don't know, what we don't have, anything scares to us, goes away because we're so desperate, it increases our focus. If you think about anything you've had that becomes desperate to you. If there was a burglar in your home, for example, and you were desperate. Think about the millions of things you're no longer thinking about, and how focused you are in on that one thing. We've all had that time when we're laying in bed at night and we think we hear a noise, right? You become so focused, you hear every little creak in the ceiling, don't you? Every little movement of the floor. You hear your sheets move, "Oh my gosh, there it is again."

• 1:30:32Speaker 05

  You become hyper-aware and hyper-focused when you increase desperation. So become intentional is step two. Third, what is your plan? What is your strategy to increase your hunger level and to increase your focus level? So part of that plan might be, I need to be around people more immediately who can hold me accountable and repeat back to me what I've told them my outcomes are. I need to put myself in situations where I'm accountable, where I'm a part of a group, where I have to report my results to them. Perhaps it's going public, if it's your body, and going public with, "This is my intention the next 30 days, this is what I'm going to do." Putting additional pressure on yourself. Perhaps it's shrinking the timeframe down.

• 1:31:15Speaker 05

  The sooner we must do something, the more desperate it becomes. In other words, if something has to be done within 10 years, how desperate is that? But if it has to become sooner and sooner and sooner, or even if there just has to be a real date put on it, gives us some desperation knowing that date is coming sometime soon. So what is your plan and strategy to increase your desperation? Increase your hunger level? And then focus. What's your plan to increase focus? Oftentimes, that could be a plan to eliminate distractions. What's your strategy to eliminate distractions? It might be, I watch too much television at night and it distracts me from my goal. Perhaps you should remove that television from the room. That's a plan and a strategy to eliminate the distraction. Perhaps it's you're being on the internet too long or playing video games. Maybe you need to eliminate them.

• 1:31:58Speaker 05

  Perhaps in your nutrition, you're trying to get fit. The distraction are snacks that you have in your home or alcohol. Maybe they need to be removed from your home. What is your strategy and plan to eliminate distractions and increase focus? Because without the evaluation, without the intention, and without the plan and strategy, an actual plan to increase desperation, an actual plan and strategy, get creative, get resourceful. It's only with a plan that you can begin to make changes and a strategy. Otherwise, it's just a thought. And then fourth, what immediate massive action are you going to take right now? I'm talking about right when this audio or video ends. What's the immediate first massive action you're going to take towards that plan? The first step, the first, it's unplug the TV.

• 1:32:42Speaker 05

  It's remove the video game. It's throw out the junk food. It's remove a certain person from your life. I don't know what it is. But what is the immediate massive action? Because if we can evaluate where we are and get very clear, because we can't know where we're going if we're not very clear about where we are. In other words, if life is like a GPS and we want to get to a particular destination, the only way we can get clear on getting there is to understand and evaluate and be specific about where we currently are. That way, we can build the directions. There's no sense of direction, not just with where you're going. Where are you? You must know both places. Evaluate what you want and be very honest and evaluate where you are. Now the directions can be drawn out.

• 1:33:28Speaker 05

  So we must evaluate, number one. Number two, we must make it our intention to do so. We must get intentional, get specific. There's a power to intention. There's a power to pointing our mind, which is a weapon, at these issues. Third is our strategy. What is the exact plan we're going to take? Without a strategy, you have no shot. You must have a strategy. The strategy doesn't have to be perfect. The strategy can evolve. But there must be a game plan. There must be something you're doing immediately to start towards this journey. It tells our mind we're making progress. It sends a message of, "I'm serious about this." And then fourth, you must take immediate massive action. Knowledge is not power unless it's applied.

• 1:34:11Speaker 05

  And you haven't really made a decision and changed anything until you've taken an action. And if we delay the action till later, we can have all the evaluation, all the intention, and a great game plan. No action, no momentum, no progress. So what's the one step, the one action, that you're going to take immediately towards increasing your focus and increasing your desperation level? What is the immediate action? Once you have those four things, we now have a recipe to change. And so today's message to you was to wake you up as a friend, as your brother, is to say, "Listen, if we're gonna get this done, if you're gonna make things great happen, you gotta get very clear on what you want, very clear. But we have got to get starving, we've got to get desperate,

• 1:34:54Speaker 05

  we've got to get hungry to perform at the elite level." And for some of you who are already performing pretty high, the reason these next goals are coming more and more slowly, the reason that progress is slower the higher you climb, is because you're less hungry, you're less desperate, and you've got more distractions. Some of you that are starting out in the very beginning of your journey towards chasing goals, I'm giving you the recipe. You must increase the hunger level, the desperation level, and you must get more focused. But for some of you who have already achieved that are listening to this, I'm telling you, I understand it, I relate to it. You're like that champion who's trying to repeat. And although you're not satisfied with where you are, and you have big goals and ambitions... You must get honest.

• 1:35:36Speaker 05

  Am I as starving and as desperate as I was in the very beginning of my career? In the very beginning of my business? In the very beginning of my journey in my faith? The very beginning in the journey of my fitness? Whatever it is? Because I can promise you, if we drew a line back to where you made the most progress, you were the most desperate. And the goals start coming slower, don't they? As we become less and less desperate. You've got to feed that. And then the other thing is, there was a time in your life, if you were achieving at a high level, whether it was getting your master's degree, or graduating college, or passing an exam for your business, or getting to your first big promotion. I can promise you, if I went back and looked at you, you were laser focused and all the distractions went away. This is the same formula and the same recipe. Success leaves clues.

• 1:36:20Speaker 05

  I have a great audio you should listen to called Unlocking Your Success Code. It's one of the original ones I've done. If you're on YouTube watching this, go over to my audio platforms on iTunes or Spotify. Search for Unlocking Your Success Code. I talk about how the fact that you have a code to your success, if you can repeat that code and apply it to all your goals and dreams, you'll produce the same results in different areas. And so today, I want to challenge you to get very clear on what your recipe is. If you've already been achieving in your life, evaluate these two areas.