829. Q&AF: Is It “Too Late” To Start, Taking Constructive Criticism & When Does It Get Easier?

On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on what to do when you feel it’s “too late” to start something new in your professional life, how to develop a habit to receive constructive criticism well and not let it affect you, and what’s the real answer to the question “does it get easier?” when working on leveling up in life and business.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:16Andy Frisella?

  What is up guys, it's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realist. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys. Today, we have Q and A F. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Now you could submit your questions a few different ways. The first way is- Guys, email these questions in to [email protected]. Or you go on YouTube in the comments section of the Q and A F episode, drop your question in there and we'll pick some from there as well. Now throughout the week, and this is gonna be a very busy week for the show, we're gonna have CTI, that stands for Cruise the Internet. As we put topics on the screen, what's going on in the world, in society?

• 1:01Andy Frisella?

  We speculate on what's true and what's not true and then we talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world. Other times, we're gonna have real talk. Real talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk and then we have 75 hard verses. Now, there is a huge group of people starting 75 hard today and I would recommend that you do. If you're unfamiliar with 75 hard, it is the initial phase of the Live Hard program. Okay, and like I said, you can get that for free at episode 208. There's also a book called The Book on Mental Toughness, you can get that at andyfrisella.com when it's in stock. It outlines the entire Live Hard program, top to bottom, left to right, in and out.

• 1:46Andy Frisella?

  If you like the details, it's a great book, plus it has a whole bunch of chapters on mental toughness, why it's important, how to utilize it to change your life. Okay, and then when we have our 75 hard verses episodes, people who have completed the 75 hard program, come on and talk about how they were before, how they are now and how they use that program to transform their lives. All right, like I said, huge group starting today, I would start today. Now, we are the biggest show in the world that does not run ads because we make a little barter with you, a little deal. The deal is very simple. Share the show, okay? We put a lot of time and energy into the show. If the show makes you think, if it makes you laugh, if you think it's good, if you think it's good information, if you learned something,

• 2:30Andy Frisella?

  uh, if it brings a new perspective, if it's entertaining, do us a favor and share the show, okay? We're constantly dealing with all kinds of censorship. Hopefully, that will end soon, but it hasn't yet. Um, but we're still gonna keep that deal of no ads and share the show, so, uh, do us a solid. Don't be a hoe. Share the show. Alright. What's up dude?

• 2:49Speaker 01

  What's going on, man? Dude, I feel like, uh, time's moving quick. We're like already halfway through the first month of the year.

• 2:55Andy Frisella?

  Bro, I feel like the opposite. I feel like January is like dragging on, dude.

• 2:59Speaker 01

  Really?

• 3:00Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 3:00Speaker 01

  Isn't that so weird? I mean, is that the whole time's relative thing, man? I don't know. I feel like it's speeding past. Like, we're already almost done with this month. It's crazy.

• 3:08Andy Frisella?

  I don't know, man. I feel the opposite. Hmm. I went down the wrong, uh, pipe there.

• 3:12Speaker 01

  They did.

• 3:13Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. Got, got in, uh, my vocals.

• 3:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, you gotta be careful with that.

• 3:17Andy Frisella?

  I know.

• 3:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:19Andy Frisella?

  I don't got all that practice you got. You know what I'm saying?

• 3:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, alright.

• 3:23Andy Frisella?

  I need you, I need you to school me up a little bit.

• 3:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know how to do it.

• 3:26Andy Frisella?

  I, I mean, fuck dude. Can't be an expert at everything.

• 3:30Speaker 01

  Uh, listen, you get with me after air and, uh, we can figure something out, I'm sure.

• 3:35Andy Frisella?

  Hey, did you guys ever find that, that new co-host application? Did you guys ever get on that?

• 3:41Speaker 01

  You said you wanted to learn. I'll teach you. Um, no, I was just thinking, I mean, cause we, you know, halfway through the first month, January is always an interesting time for a lot of people. And so, I got some really awesome questions for you. Um, but they're all kinda just focused on, you know, the, the more personal side, you know, cause people are battling some issues going halfway through. It's always right around this time, I guess, so.

• 4:02Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. Um, I mean, this is the time of year where everybody says the same shit, bro. I'm gonna, this is gonna be the year, I'm gonna change my life, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that, I'm gonna do this. And by the second week in, the third week in, which is where we are now, everybody gives the fuck up, okay? And then they wonder, they spend the rest of the year miserable because they weren't able to get their shit together. They live a life they don't want, they, they look the way they don't want, they make the money they don't want, and then they think they just got screwed by the world. No, bro, you screwed yourself.

• 4:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:35Andy Frisella?

  That's the reality.

• 4:36Speaker 01

  Halfway through the first month, like, alright, well, we'll just try it next year.

• 4:39Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, yeah, it's like people who on their diet, you know, they they mess up on Tuesday and they're like, oh, I'm gonna start again on Monday. Right? And between Tuesday and Monday, they stuff themselves because they're like, oh, I'm gonna start Monday. And then Monday comes and they mess up on the next Wednesday. Then they stuff themselves and then they end up 100 pounds overweight. Ask me how I know that. Because I lived that for a long time, dude. And if we could just get people to understand. That if we fix your ability to adhere to a program. You can do anything you want. That's the ultimate problem here. The ultimate problem is you don't. Know how to do things when you don't feel like doing them. And when you can fix that. You could fix everything.

• 5:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, man. Um, well, let's do it then. Let's get into some, some, some, some real, real hard truths that need to be discussed. Um, a lot of people going through some different things. So let's, let's get into these questions, guys. Andy, question number one. Um, Andy. I've been working in hospitality for over a decade. Um, I'm burned out and ready for a change. Um, I've always been interested in graphic design and even took some courses online during the pandemic. Uh, but I have no formal experience in the field. At 38. I feel like it's too late to start over. Uh, especially with financial pressures. How do I pivot into a completely new career? Without starting from scratch or risking my stability.

• 6:08Andy Frisella?

  Well, look, dude, that's, that's a common thing that a lot of people have to deal with over a few different times in their life, usually. Uh, the first thing I would like to say to you. Is, are you sure that's what you want to do? Because a lot of times, you know, things look good and shiny and new over here. And we're bored with what it is that we're doing. And then we jump from something that we're pretty good at to something we don't know anything about. And we set ourselves back years. Okay? So you don't want to do that. So you want to make sure. That is something that you want to do. Now, if you're already doing it, you're already taking classes and you're already practicing,

• 6:47Andy Frisella?

  a good way to transition from where you are that has stability into a new field that does not have stability yet is to do it a little bit at a time. Okay, keep your career where it is and then on your nights and your weekends and your free time, you start doing little jobs and little projects and little bit work for hire for different people, getting experience, getting a resume, getting good word of mouth recommendations. Okay, and by the way, getting practice of how to actually service a customer, not just make the design, but how to do so in a way that blows them away and makes them excited and makes them want to refer you to other people.

• 7:29Andy Frisella?

  Because let's face it, if you can't get referrals from the business that you have, you're probably not very good at what you do. And if you can't get those referrals, you're going to have a hard time getting to a place of stability, you know, from where you are now. So pivot a little bit at a time, nights, weekends, free time, do these projects and as the income starts to grow over here, you could start to reduce your amount over at your career and then eventually make the jump over. Another thing that you should do during this time is you should minimize expenses. If you need to downsize your apartment or your house, you know, or your car, things that are quote unquote luxuries for you right now.

• 8:15Andy Frisella?

  And I realize you probably aren't driving a Rolls Royce and you know, you're probably like, well, I'm just driving a regular, well, you know what, man, maybe you got to get a shittier car, maybe you got to get a shittier house. How bad do you want this new life? How bad do you want this new career? And the reality of, you know, most people is they won't take a step back to take three or four or 10 steps forward, right? They want to keep that big car payment. They want to keep that apartment or that house that they're comfortable in and they want it all, but you can't have it all. So. Keep the career you have, part-time over here, practice, get good word of mouth, get a good resume, build a good portfolio, slowly switch over, and before you do any of that, lower all the expenses that you have.

• 8:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, people don't want to sleep on a piss stained mattress.

• 9:00Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, bro, and that's part of the deal. Part of the deal is you gotta go through that time. You're not gonna be the first person in history that's going to get where they want to go without facing the adversity of struggling financially, struggling socially, struggling with balance, right? We have this problem in society where everybody wants everything, but they don't want to pay a price for anything. Okay? And the great things in life, they take steps back to make steps forward. Okay? That's the reality. So, we have to understand, dude, if you really want what you say you want, you're gonna have to make some sacrifices that are actually investments, because there is a payoff on

• 9:42Andy Frisella?

  the backside. And I think if people reframe that perspective from, "Oh, I'm making all these sacrifices," to, "No, I'm making investments because these are all gonna pay off long-term," that's a different game. It's easier to get up and go to battle when you know that what you're struggling with right now is gonna have a payoff. And that's the way the world works, dude. You know, if you own a business, you know, you're gonna push for three or four years before you get real progress. And then, once you get real progress, you're gonna have a ride for three or four years. And then, you know, you're gonna have to repivot, and you're gonna have to readjust, and re-acclimate, and make a new plan, and then push for another three years. It's phases, dude. And it's phases in your life, too,

• 10:24Andy Frisella?

  just not in business. It's in your life. If you want to change, you're gonna have to push, and there's gonna be a delayed gratification timeframe where you're showing up, you're working hard, you're giving everything you have, but nothing's happening. And that time can be extremely frustrating. And the reason that most people can't win is because they can't make it through that time of frustration to get to the other side. There's a reason that there's the saying, "It's always darkest before the dawn," okay? Because, dude, when you feel like you're gonna quit, and you feel like things aren't gonna work, if you just keep pushing, that's when the things tend to work out.

• 11:02Speaker 01

  Another thing too, I wanna, I wanna bring up, cause uh, and you, and you hit on this about, you know, using the, the spare time to develop yourself. And I, and I've actually seen this in play uh, with you and how you run your companies. So you, you tell your employees that all the time. Like you, you're not gonna get better at the nine and five, nine to five.

• 11:19Andy Frisella?

  That's right.

• 11:20Speaker 01

  You know what I'm saying? Cause let's, let's talk, let's go a little bit more deeper into that. Like how, what's the, what's the hangup with that? Why do people not understand?

• 11:28Andy Frisella?

  Because.

• 11:28Speaker 01

  That concept?

• 11:29Andy Frisella?

  Because people think that their free time is their free time. They think that when I'm off work, I don't have to work. And when,

• 11:39Andy Frisella?

  bro, honestly, it's such an amateur misunderstanding. It almost fucking pisses me off. Actually does piss me off.

• 11:45Speaker 01

  I mean, it ruins people.

• 11:45Andy Frisella?

  No, dude, a hundred percent. You only have so much time, bro. You got 24 hours in a day, just like everybody else. When you go to work, you're expected to execute on a job. You're not expected to increase your skillset, or get a lot of practice reps, or take your courses, or you read your books. That is the shit you do at home. Okay? You do that in your free time, quote unquote, free time. And you could spend your free time, uh, you know, partying with your homies and doing all the shit, but you can't expect your skills to grow if you're not actually actively trying to grow your skills. And guess what? Skills pay the motherfucking bills. And if you don't have them, you're gonna be broke. That's reality. So you have to decide, how important is

• 12:26Andy Frisella?

  it to you? Is it important enough for you to skip out on beers with the bros and fucking movie night with, you know, Suzie Rotten Crotch? You know what I'm saying? Like some chick you don't even wanna fucking be with, you know, or spend time around. Is your future worth that? I think it is. You know what I'm saying? I, I think you'll think it is too, when you're making 10 times the income that you're making now, and your life's together, and you're, you live in a nice house, you've got a nice partner that is actually someone that, you know, is on the level you want. You, you got some nice cars, you're doing well. You're gonna say, fuck dude, I'm glad I did that. But because you can't see it right now, you see it as this big sacrifice. Oh man, I gotta go hang out with the bros on guys night. Bro, fuck that. Okay? They're all

• 13:09Andy Frisella?

  gonna be broke in fucking 10 years. And you don't wanna be. So your time should be spent improving skillset. Like dude, I disappeared for 15 years, disappeared from social scene for 15 fucking years. You know why? Cause I had to get my skill set up. I didn't know how to run a company. So you know what I had to do? I had to do everything I could to learn how. Right? And that's not just me showing up every day and throwing fucking spaghetti at the wall and hoping some of it sticks, bro. That's me going home, reading books, uh, you know, studying other entrepreneurs, calling other people that own businesses, having meetings, learning things.

• 13:49Andy Frisella?

  You know, back when I was doing this, there wasn't like this big quote unquote mentorship online, which by the way is 99% useless anyway, because all these motherfuckers haven't done anything, but there wasn't guys like me or at my let who have built big ass companies, doing things like our taste syndicate where you could get in there. There wasn't people like me doing MFCEO project, which launches in two weeks again, right? That shit didn't exist. There was books and then there was, you know, who you knew and how could you have a meeting with them? How could you get close to them? And like, dude, I had a bunch of small business owners that I happened to meet and know, and I would do lunch with them or I would fucking try to, you know, be around them as much as possible,

• 14:31Andy Frisella?

  instead of hanging out with a bunch of dudes who just want to get fucked up at the bar. And by the way, I like that. That was fun, but it's way more fun now when I can do whatever the fuck I want.

• 14:41Speaker 01

  Right.

• 14:42Andy Frisella?

  Right? So you have to understand, dude, that time that you think, uh, you know, is, uh, people have this entitled mentality, bro. Oh, that's my time. That's my, oh yeah. Okay. It is. Are you working to get better? Are you, are you going to work to get better so you could provide for your family? So you can provide for yourself or are you going to fucking sit on your fat ass and fucking watch TV? Right? It is your time and you get to choose what to do with it.

• 15:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:10Andy Frisella?

  So.

• 15:11Speaker 01

  That's real.

• 15:12Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. And you get, you get what you put in, dude. It's just what it is. And people don't think that, that they have this way of selling them, uh, selling themselves on a story that like, oh, well that, you know, I'm going to put in all this work and I'm going to do all these things and I'm going to, and it's still not going to work out. And that's what they sell themselves on so that they can go have the beers or go fuck off with the guys. You know, and it's just not true, dude. Last thing I wanna, I wanna hit on with this question too. Uh, this, this person's thirty-eight years old. Can we talk about this concept of starting too late? Is it too late? Is there like a definite? No, it's not too late, bro, but it's too late if you're gonna be doing the way you've been doing it. Okay, if you're gonna fucking, you know, fuck off and do half-assed work and, you know,

• 15:57Andy Frisella?

  kind of float and hope that it's gonna work and shit, and do what you've done to get to thirty-eight and be unhappy, i- yeah, it's too late. Okay, if you're gonna change your entire operating system and get disciplined and execute and take your time serious and win every motherfucking day and build your skillset, no, it's not too late. But had you been doing this until you were thirty-eight, you'd already be a rich motherfucker. So I know you're not doing it now, so if you approach the new thing like you did the old thing, yeah, it's too late. But it's not too late if you decide to change every way you go about it. I love it, man. Yeah. I love it, guys. Andy, question number two.

• 16:38Andy Frisella?

  Uh, Andy, I recently got some feedback at work, uh, that I came across as defensive during a team meeting. I didn't realize how much criticism bothers me until I started reflecting on it. Um, I want to learn to accept constructive feedback without taking it personally. Uh, but it's hard to not feel attacked. How can I shift my mindset and see criticism as an opportunity to grow? Do you wanna get better or not? Do you wanna make more money or not? Do you wanna have a nice house or not? You wanna have a nice life or not? If you don't, get your little pussy hurt about every time someone says something to you. Pout, cry, don't listen, think you're right, think you know everything,

• 17:21Andy Frisella?

  and then, you know, make it a big deal every time someone criticizes you. If you actually want those things, you should be open to critiques and you should be willing to take them and say, okay, that is true, I need to work on this, I need to improve here, and that will, and then be thankful for it. Okay, it's a totally polar opposite attitude. We have people who get their fucking feelings hurt and cry and moan and make excuses and say, oh, well, you know, they're not right, I'm right. Those people end up broke. Okay, people who end up not broke are people who- Take criticisms and take critiques, even if they're directed at a personal level and say, "Yeah dude, alright, I got that."

• 18:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:03Andy Frisella?

  Okay, so the more that you can take critique wise and accept and be happy that you have it, the better you're gonna get, the less you can take, the worse you're gonna get. And one of them pays well and one of them does not. So, do you wanna be rich? Do you wanna make money? Do you wanna be successful? Or do you wanna be a broke little fucking booger?

• 18:27Speaker 01

  I think you could also, is it true?

• 18:29Andy Frisella?

  Huh?

• 18:30Speaker 01

  I think that like that, the part where you said, "Is it true though?" Like, is, is the criticism true?

• 18:34Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, well, a lot of times, dude, it just depends. A lot of times, people can't remove their ego out of the way to accept something as truth.

• 18:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:41Andy Frisella?

  Right?

• 18:41Speaker 01

  Fuck.

• 18:42Andy Frisella?

  That's the point. Like, people will be like, "Oh, that's not fucking true."

• 18:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, right.

• 18:46Andy Frisella?

  Well, maybe it's not, but is it?

• 18:48Speaker 01

  Right.

• 18:49Andy Frisella?

  Right? Like, I, I don't think you take everybody's criticism. Like, dude, when these morons on the internet say shit about me, I don't give a fuck. Like, bro, I don't want your life, I don't wanna look like you, I don't wanna make the money you're making, I don't want your fucking, any, I don't wanna drive your car, I don't wanna live in your fucking house. So why the fuck do I give a shit what you have to say about me? Right? But if someone who is successful says, "Hey, you should work on this," I'm gonna stop and I'm gonna say, "Hmm," and I'm gonna think back and I'm gonna audit all those situations moving up to this point in time and be like, "You know, is that true?" And then kind of work through these different scenarios and say, "Yeah, I did that there. I did this here. That is something I could work on. That is something I could get better at."

• 19:33Andy Frisella?

  And then, and then look at the person and be like, "Bro, thank you for pointing that out." When you become a mature, uh, you know, man or woman and you're seriously driven to be better, you're going to understand that criticism and coaching is part of the thing that you need to be thankful for. But as you pointed out, you gotta be careful who you take it from. And I wouldn't take it from anybody that doesn't have a life that you fucking want. Unless it's someone who used to have a life that you want that no longer has it. Because they can tell you how to avoid losing it.

• 20:08Speaker 01

  It almost makes me think too, because like on the other hand, you know, you have people that will not tell you what's wrong, or not tell you the truth and tell you everything's okay.

• 20:19Andy Frisella?

  You have people who will tell you shit. That's not even it, DJ. You have people that will tell you shit that's not true to try fuck you up. You don't even understand how fucking dirty people are. Girls are like that. Girls will fuck. You look fine. Oh, yeah. Girls will do that to each other all the time. We all know it. They'll tell, they'll tell them, how's this look? Oh, that looks great, knowing that it doesn't look good. All right, now imagine in business when you're competing with a bunch of people. You don't think that happens? So you're gonna have a lot of people that are gonna tell you things that aren't true to get in your head and try to fuck you up. So you gotta be real good about who you listen to and who you don't, and you gotta learn how to tune certain things out. And if they aren't where you wanna be, they don't make the money you wanna make, they don't have the life you wanna live, you shouldn't fucking listen to them.

• 21:05Andy Frisella?

  And, and if they do give you a critique, uh, and you're not sure, you should dig in and see, hey, what did this person do? What have they built? Where is their headquarters? Where are their employees? How, what have they done to get to this point where they think they can give me advice? I mean, the reality is dude, most people have no idea and they're so comfortable giving advice on fucking anything. Any of you guys who have ever had kids know how much people wanna give advice on fucking kids. And then you look at their kids and their kids are little fucking shitbags, right? Yeah, like their kids are running around like wild fucking animals and they're giving you advice. That's, that's the same shit that happens in business, bro. People, people are five dollars away from being broke, but they're giving you financial advice.

• 21:49Andy Frisella?

  They've never run a lemonade stand, but they're telling you how to run your company, right? This is the shit that people do. They wanna fucking feel good. They, they think they know shit that they don't. And most people are, you know, they're, they have an inflated ego. They think they're, they're more important than they actually are.

• 22:05Speaker 01

  I was gonna ask you, that's the same thing with that not taking criticism. It sounds like it's boiling down to just being an ego issue.

• 22:11Andy Frisella?

  Oh, yeah. Both sides. Yeah. I mean, bro, your ego, your ego can be too big to where you ignore good criticism. It could be too beat down to where you take all the criticism and then you have no direction on where you're going. So you gotta find a balance in there. You gotta know what you know. You gotta know what you don't know. You gotta know who you should listen to and you gotta know who you shouldn't listen to. And these are things that you have to figure out. And if you don't figure them out, you're gonna be confused. And when you're confused, it makes it hard to effectively operate your life and your project of income or business or job or whatever you got going on.

• 22:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, I love it, man. Well, guys, we got, uh, we got question number three. We got one more for you.

• 22:55Speaker 01

  This is, it's an interesting question. Let's check this one out. Uh, guys, Andy, question number three. Andy, I'm 27 years old and my question is very simple. Does it get easier? I understand that it's life, right? You get the crap beat out of you a few times, but does it get easier? And if it does, then when? And if it doesn't, how do so many people make it look easy? I appreciate everything you do.

• 23:22Andy Frisella?

  No, it doesn't get easier. In fact, it gets harder. Okay? And I know that's hard for people to understand, but when you start in the beginning, the decisions you make, while they have perceived large consequences, what's the worst that could happen? You fuck up your shit and you're back to zero where you were last week. Okay, when you actually are at a higher level, you're making decisions that don't just benefit you or affect you, but you're making decisions that affect everybody. Right now, in my life, if I make a decision in business, there's thousands of people that have to deal with that decision. 20 years ago, when I made that same decision, it was six people. Okay, so it's totally different.

• 24:08Andy Frisella?

  It does not get quote unquote easier. It just gets different. All right? You don't have the same struggles that you had when you have some money as when you didn't have money, but you got different ones. All right? And like people say, oh, more money, more problems. No, it's more money, different problems. Okay, because I don't have to worry about me going out to dinner and paying the bill, right? Or like sweating that like, fuck dude, I hope she doesn't order that. Right? Like, but now-

• 24:36Speaker 01

  That's a real thing too.

• 24:37Andy Frisella?

  Hundred percent.

• 24:38Speaker 01

  Oh, fuck, yeah.

• 24:39Andy Frisella?

  Bro, you think I don't remember that? I fucking remember being on dates and sweating my balls off, hoping that she didn't order the fucking steak.

• 24:45Speaker 01

  I'll just take a water.

• 24:46Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 24:46Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, bro.

• 24:47Andy Frisella?

  Like, bro, we've all been there. So, so we have to get, uh, to an understanding that it's not going to get easier. You have to get stronger. And that is why the Live Hard program is so successful. It's why 75 Hard is so successful. Because it takes people who are mentally soft and it shows them that if they could control their internal dialogue, which they can, and they can execute when they don't feel like it, you become in control of almost all the outcomes in your life. Most people can only execute when they feel good. If you could be someone who can execute whether you feel good

• 25:30Andy Frisella?

  or whether you feel like shit and you could execute at a high level, that means that the 30% of the time where they feel good and the 66.666% of the time where they feel like shit and they're not executing, you have a 66% advantage over the time that you're executing that they don't. Which means you're doing two thirds more work than what they're doing. Okay, it's fucking math. So, you have to train yourself to become someone who is resilient, who has fortitude, who has grit, who could persevere, who could pay attention to their boss voice, not their bitch voice, and can execute against the things that they know are going to move them

• 26:12Andy Frisella?

  where they want to go, even when they don't feel like it. And if you can do that, it will become quote unquote easier. You will perceive it to be easier. It will not be easier. You will be stronger. Okay? But that's the only thing you can do because you can't go write a letter to God and say, hey, man, pretty fucking hard down here. Take it easy. Yeah. Hey, I'd appreciate if you made it easier for me. That doesn't work. Okay. But what does work is learning how to control the decisions that you make 100% of the time, which give you control of most of the outcomes in your life. That is what makes it feel easier. All right.

• 26:53Andy Frisella?

  But no, dude, if you continue to operate the same way you're operating and you continue to, you know, just hope that it's going to get easier, it fucking doesn't. It does not get easier. I remember having a conversation with a guy who was sort of a mentor to me one time and I met him for lunch, dude. And this guy was, at the time, he was a big fucking deal.

• 27:16Andy Frisella?

  And I remember sitting, we, we, we had lunch, we were sitting at a bar and we were just talking and I, I looked at him and I said, hey, dude, um, you know, because at that time in business, every day that the end of day numbers and the performance came in, I let it affect me in a big way. So like I would get my numbers at 10 o'clock at night. And if they were bad, I couldn't fucking sleep. If they were good, I couldn't sleep because they were good. Right? Like so, so every day I was looking at this performance and it was driving me fucking crazy. And I was about 10 years into business here and I fucking looked at him and I said, hey, bro, when does that stop?

• 27:59Andy Frisella?

  And he goes, dude, it doesn't stop. He's like, he laughed. He laughed at me. He goes, it never stops. And he's right. It never does stop. And it's never stopped. That was,

• 28:10Andy Frisella?

  I don't know, 15 years ago, 16 years ago, it's never stopped. I still, I'm still the same way. Um, but I don't have the emotional ups and downs anymore because I've learned to be confident in my actions and I know that I'm executing on a daily, daily basis. So if I'm executing on a daily basis and I've been doing it long enough to know that that's what produces the results, then I have confidence in my actions that they're going to bear fruit in the direction that I want to go. Right. And that takes away the uncertainty. That takes away the fear. That takes away the,

• 28:44Andy Frisella?

  You know, the perception of hardness and it just becomes what you do every day. So it's all about controlling your own ability to make decisions, the decisions that you know you need to make and then allowing yourself to build confidence in the fact that your inputs are going to equal outputs and then putting all the inputs in consistently and then understanding that it really doesn't matter what happened today because uh what I did today isn't going to bear fruit for 30, 60, 90 days down the road.

• 29:17Speaker 01

  Right.

• 29:17Andy Frisella?

  Does that make sense?

• 29:18Speaker 01

  Right.

• 29:18Andy Frisella?

  So, so now I know that I'm planting the seeds, I know there's going to be a harvest. So I'm not fucking freaking the fuck out and it doesn't feel as hard. Does that make sense?

• 29:27Speaker 01

  You know you're gonna water.

• 29:28Andy Frisella?

  All you can do is what the fuck you can do, bro.

• 29:30Speaker 01

  Bro.

• 29:30Andy Frisella?

  And if you can do the things you know you need to do and you could do them every day, eventually you will be in a place where you understand that those seeds are going to bear fruit. Okay, you ever heard of the Chinese bamboo tree? Chinese bamboo tree. You plant the fucker in the ground, okay? And for five years it stays in the ground. For five years. Doesn't show any sprouting, doesn't show any signs of life. Now, if the farmer goes out and fucking digs up the seed in three days because it didn't grow, what's gonna happen?

• 30:07Speaker 01

  It ain't never gonna grow.

• 30:08Andy Frisella?

  Nothing, it ain't ever gonna grow, right? So you have to have, it has to have water, it has to have care, it can't be disturbed and then five years later it grows to a height of 80 feet in like six weeks. Okay? So that is how your career will work, that is how projects work. When you plant the seed, you have to water it, you can't disturb it, you have to keep doing, making sure you're taking care of it and eventually it goes real fast. That's, that's how your life's gonna work, that's how your business is gonna work. It's like, uh, it's just a masterclass in delayed gratification and most people can't push through the delay part to ever get to the gratification. They've never, they've never been able to learn how it actually works. So if they don't know how it works...

• 30:54Andy Frisella?

  You know, when the time feels like it's too long or it's taking too long, they quit and they start over dude. And this is why most people, you know, they do something for two, three, four years. And then they switch their careers completely and they're like, oh, that wasn't for me. I didn't like it. When dude, real talk, they were probably on the verge of having a major breakthrough.

• 31:13Speaker 01

  You're two weeks away from it.

• 31:14Andy Frisella?

  Correct. And so dude, you have this two to four year cycle where people work. And then they get frustrated and then they, and then they quit and they change, right? And now they're starting over from zero again. So now you've got another two to four years to learn the craft, put in the work, put in the time, become disciplined, become a. And then you get there and you're like, oh, and then they, they start over again. You do that three times, that's 12 fucking years. You see what I'm saying?

• 31:41Speaker 01

  Have eighty foot fucking bamboo tree by now.

• 31:43Andy Frisella?

  Three of them.

• 31:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, right.

• 31:44Andy Frisella?

  You know what I'm saying? Like dude.

• 31:47Andy Frisella?

  It is a, it is a, the instant gratification that we deal with in society is super damaging, right? People get on the internet, especially with young people, they get on the internet. They could talk to their friends across the world with the click of a button. They can order food and it's there in 10 minutes. They can throw shit in the microwave and it's, it's cooked in three minutes. The, everything they want to do, movies on demand, fucking call up. It, it hasn't always been that way. It's not always been that way in culture and life. Like you weren't, you know, dude, I grew up in a time where you couldn't talk to your friends across the world with the click of a fucking button, bro. I mean, it wasn't that long ago.

• 32:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:27Andy Frisella?

  Okay. You, you weren't connected when you left the house. All right. There was a bunch of cultural differences that, you know, there was no Grubhub. There was no instant food. Bro, I remember when they started, listen dude, I can remember when pizza delivery started. It became.

• 32:45Speaker 01

  Started?

• 32:46Andy Frisella?

  Yes. Because bro, it wasn't a big thing. And then all of a sudden dude, you could get a pizza at your house.

• 32:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:51Andy Frisella?

  Like do, do people that are young have no idea how much the world's changed in such a short amount of time? And because the world has changed to all these instant things, people have lost their ability to persevere. They have lost their ability to be patient. They've lost their ability to push through. And because the natural environment that we live in doesn't.

• 33:13Andy Frisella?

  Lend itself to learning patience or learning how to persevere. We have to put ourselves in intentionally hard situations that force us to uh, experience delay gratification, which is another thing that Live Hard does and 75 Hard does. It's a fucking necessary bootcamp for people to understand how to develop the qualities that end up making them successful at anything that they do. Okay, but you can't expect young kids who have never had to exercise patience of any sort to understand patience, right? And that's a big problem because to become successful, it's going to take patience. That's the one thing that hasn't changed.

• 33:58Andy Frisella?

  So everything else has changed. Everything's more convenient. Everything's faster. Everything's instant. But your career and your business didn't change that way. You've still got to show up way past the time where you're, you know, excited about it and you've got to execute for the results to happen. And that's reality, dude. And unfortunately, you know, most people that are listening to this are between the ages of 18 and 35 and um, most of those people haven't had a life that made them uh, learn these skills naturally. Okay, and that's why you have to intentionally do them. That's why we have the book on mental toughness.

• 34:42Andy Frisella?

  That's why the Live Hard program exists. I built it for you guys so that you guys could train yourselves to have these skills and these qualities that are going to make you successful long-term.

• 34:53Speaker 01

  Last thing I want to hit on, maybe this might be for another episode. Um, you know, but this last piece of the question too, I was just sitting there thinking is like, why do so many people make it look easy? That's the other part too with the social media shit, man. Is that you gotta keep in mind, you're seeing what people want you to see.

• 35:09Andy Frisella?

  Correct. And there's really-

• 35:12Andy Frisella?

  When you deal with influencers on social media, bro, like you gotta understand when you tell someone, "Man, this is easy," they're more likely to buy it. Okay? Um, when you tell someone, "Hey, listen, dude, there is no fucking easy way. This is gonna take everything you fucking have." Do you, do you think they wanna buy that?

• 35:32Speaker 01

  I'll go look somewhere else.

• 35:33Andy Frisella?

  It's hard to fucking sell that. Okay? And then on top of it, social media in general is an egotistical platform. All right, now, I, I understand, we all have to do it, we all have to put ourselves out there, we all have to toot our own horn, because if we don't toot our own horn, nobody's gonna toot it for us. So I understand, we've gotta step out, we've gotta be, you know, a little bold, but at its heart, it's a narcissistic, egotistical platform. It's a "look at me, look at me, look at me," right?

• 36:05Andy Frisella?

  It is what it is. It's necessary for business at this point in time, for most people. All right, so I'm not knocking it. I mean, if you're gonna have them look at you, you might as well be a fucking rock star.

• 36:14Speaker 01

  Show them the best.

• 36:15Andy Frisella?

  I'm just saying. But, there's a problem with that, especially when it comes to entrepreneurs. Entrepreneurs are competitive people. Entrepreneurs like to tell other entrepreneurs how good they are, and they like to pretend like the hardest things are actually easy for them. And the problem with that is, is that you put this out there because you wanna seem like you've got it all figured out, and it's so easy for you, and you have all these natural skills, and you're better than all the other entrepreneurs out there. But here's the problem, bro, that young kid who's 19, 20, 21, 22, 25, that guy's looking at you, and it's hard as fuck for him, and he's like, "Fuck, it must be me.

• 36:56Andy Frisella?

  It must be me that's messed up, because this is easy," and it's, and so like, dude, I've never, I've never bought into that. I've always tried to tell people, like, "Look, dude, this is the hardest thing you're gonna ever do, it's gonna take everything you got, it's gonna cost you your old life 100%, all your old friends, all your old relationships, but it's gonna be worth it over time, because everything else that comes in your life is gonna serve the vision and the goal of what you're trying to become." So, it's a good thing, it's just hard to go through. And because we have so many, e- even real entrepreneurs, we have some good, real entrepreneurs that make it seem like they're better than they are. And I know these motherfuckers in real life.

• 37:39Andy Frisella?

  Like, these guys will call me, and they'll be like, "Fuck dude, what do you thi-" and they're stressing out, right? But, but you go on the internet, and I'm talking about the biggest names out there, dude. And you go on the internet and they're like, "Oh yeah, just do this and that, and this, this is easy, blah, blah, blah." Bro, it's, it's not easy. It's hard as fuck. And we don't do anybody any favors by making it seem easy just to appease our ego, so that we can look like we're better than the next guy. You know what makes us look better than the next guy? Winning bigger than the next guy. You know what also makes us look better than the next guy? Creating as much success as we possibly can. And the way that we create as much success as we possibly can for other people is by telling them the truth about how fucking hard it actually is, and then preparing them to go down that road.

• 38:23Andy Frisella?

  Okay? Instead of just saying, "Oh man, what's wrong with you? You can't make, you can't make 50 grand a fucking day." You know, like, you know what I'm saying? Like, you can't, you can't do that. So, uh, it's not a real... It's not a real...

• 38:41Andy Frisella?

  It, it, I don't know. It's, I don't know how to say what I'm trying to say.

• 38:46Andy Frisella?

  We have a culturally fucked up society because of the environment and the technology that we have available to us, to where they have a hard time understanding that things that matter are still very hard and take a lot of time. And that's the biggest handicap that we have with young people. And so, I've always tried, and you can go back and check my receipts, I've always tried to tell people, man, like, "I'm pretty good at what I do. I'm, I'm real good at what I do." Okay? I'm, I'm not gonna sit here and fucking play it down. I'm fucking one of the best in the world at what the fuck I do. And it's hard as fuck for me. It's hard as fuck for me. So I know it's hard for you, okay?

• 39:26Andy Frisella?

  So, here's my advice. Get better, get stronger, build more skills, build discipline. Once you have the ability to have discipline and you can adhere to any plan that is laid out before you, there's nothing you can't do, okay? So-

• 39:41Andy Frisella?

  That's my advice on that.

• 39:42Speaker 01

  I love it, man.

• 39:43Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 39:43Speaker 01

  I love it, guys. Andy, that's three. Hell of a way to start a Monday.

• 39:46Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, guys, let's go out there. Big week this week. Uh, culture's gonna change. Win is coming back. Let's get out there and kick some ass.

• 39:56Speaker 02

  Went from sleeping on the floor, now my jury box froze. Fuck a boat, fuck a stove, counted millions in the coke. Bad bitch, booty swole, got her on bankroll. Can't fold, just a no. Headshot, case closed.