Start Separating Yourself From the Old Version of You

Your dreams are MUCH CLOSER than you think they are! The difference between winning and losing is so small it’s almost too scary to talk about! Believe it or not, you are only ONE decision away from completely CHANGING your LIFE! You are ONE MEETING, ONE CLIENT, ONE CALL, ONE STEP, ONE MENTOR, ONE THOUGHT, ONE BREAKTHROUGH away from changing everything! In today's powerful throwback mashup episode, I'm reminding you to KEEP GOING, and sharing my top strategies and actionable steps to separate yourself from the old version of you, break free from the constraints of your past and embrace the next version of yourself! Here's what you'll gain: - Learn how to identify and overcome the self-imposed limitations holding you back. -Understand the importance of "Separation Seasons" and how to leverage them for exponential growth. -Get actionable insights on how to rewrite your story and step into the new, powerful version of yourself. -Gain strategies for enhancing your mental, emotional, and financial well-being by redefining your identity. This episode is a blueprint for anyone looking to make a significant shift in their life. Whether you're a parent, teacher, entrepreneur, an athlete, or simply someone striving for personal excellence, this is your guide to breaking through barriers and achieving extraordinary results. Join me on this journey of transformation! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

  So hey guys, listen, we're all trying to get more productive and the question is, how do you find a way to get an edge? I'm a big believer that if you're getting mentoring or you're in an environment that causes growth, a growth-based environment, that you're much more likely to grow and you're going to grow faster. And that's why I love Growth Day. Growth Day is an app that my friend Brendan Burchard has created that I'm a big fan of. Write this down, growthday.com/ed. So if you want to be more productive, by the way, he's asked me, I post videos in there every single Monday that gets your day off to the right start. He's got about $5,000, $10,000 worth of courses that are in there that come with the app. Also, some of the top influencers in the world are all posting content and they're on a regular basis, like having the Avengers of personal development and business in one app. And I'm honored that he asked me to be a part of it as well and contribute on a weekly basis, and I do.

• 0:45Ed Mylett?

  So go over there and get signed up. You're going to get a free, tuition-free voucher to go to an event with Brendan and myself and a bunch of other influencers as well. So you get a free event out of it also. So go to growthday.com/ed. That's growthday.com/ed. I hear so many small business owners say the exact same thing. They just never have enough time in the day. Well, I measure time differently. I've compressed, condensed, heck, I've bent time. My first day is 6:00 a.m. to noon. My second day starts at noon and goes till 6:00 p.m. And my third day, 6:00 p.m. to midnight. I now get 21 days a week. Stack that up over a month, over a year, over five years, and my life's completely different than it would have been otherwise. And if you want to win as an entrepreneur, you have to compress your time too.

• 1:30Ed Mylett?

  And you definitely can't afford to waste it waiting weeks on a big bank for capital. Your best bet's to work with my friends at Cardiff. They know how to compress time for entrepreneurs. They get your business approved in minutes and funded the very same day. They're America's favorite small business lender, and for good reason. Over 20 years in business, over 12 billion deployed to small business across America. Stop letting bank delays slow down your momentum. Head to cardiff.co/ed. That's cardiff.co/ed. Cardiff.co. Real growth, fast funding. Cardiff, borrow better.

• 2:08Ed Mylett?

  This is the Ed Mylett Show.

• 2:12Ed Mylett?

  Hey, everyone. Welcome to my weekend special. I hope you enjoy the show. Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Right now is a time of year where you can really separate yourself. You can separate yourself from other people, your competition, but you can also separate yourself from where you are, from the standards you've set. You can separate yourself from your current position to a new position in your relationships, your money, your body, your business, depending on the area that matters most to you. And so, we're going to talk about that. You know, there are, it's difficult when you're competing, if you're an entrepreneur, or if you're an athlete. If somebody's ahead of you, it's difficult to catch them when they're at full

• 2:53Ed Mylett?

  speed. It just is. It's difficult. They're in front of you, they're running full speed, and you're chasing them down. It's difficult to catch it those times. But where you do catch people is during what I call separation seasons. And these are the seasons where some people begin to flinch. They get weak, they take time off, they relax, they get casual about their routine. Maybe they're not as sure about their standards as they once were. And when they do that, they flinch, bam, you blow their doors off, because you keep pushing and separate yourself during that time. You can separate from all kinds of different things. And again, I want to remind you, this isn't just about competing against other people. It's separating yourself from where you currently are, which is what all of you want to do. It's called growing. Growing is separating yourself from your

• 3:34Ed Mylett?

  current condition to the next level, whether that's mentally, emotionally, financially, as I've said. And so, but from an entrepreneur standpoint, from a business standpoint, from a family standpoint, nutrition, diet, we're entering the ultimate separation season, which is this window of time in the holidays. It kind of started around Thanksgiving, but it really begins to accelerate about the second, third week of December, when everybody starts taking time off. They start cooling it. They don't show up to work like they did if they're an entrepreneur. They're not really hustling. They start making all these excuses in their mind, "Well, clients don't want to meet with me during the holidays, so I'm going to take a bunch of time off." Or, "Everybody eats bad this time of year, so that's when I'm going to eat bad." Or, "Everyone spends money during the holidays

• 4:16Ed Mylett?

  that they don't have. I'm going to do the same thing." And that's when they get weak, they flinch. And if you can get even more disciplined, more focused, you can begin to lap people that are in front of you. You know, here I am nearly 50 years old, and I could tell you, I've worked hard all my career. All my life in different areas, but I really get excited during separation seasons. And I'm like, this is when they're at half speed. I'm at full speed. I can lap them. If I'm in front of people, I can lap them two or three or four times. And it's also where I've separated myself from the former me. You know, we're coming down to the end of the year. There's just so many days left when you're hearing this at the end of the year. And it's a chance right now to lean in at the finish line in so many areas. But what do most people do? If it was full speed sprint all year, this is when they start to jog and slow down.

• 5:00Ed Mylett?

  And you know, I should eat that extra piece of cake. I should do this. And they get off their game. And so today's going to be about separating. I want the max out community, the max out universe, those of you that are listening to this, to take advantage of this, to get excited to go, this is when I get them. This is when I get after it. Right? Because in life, I've said many times, in life, we really will never exceed what we believe we're worth. We just never will. And so if you can begin to do things you think other people aren't willing to do, or maybe do things the former you weren't willing to do, you begin to believe that the new you deserves things other people won't get. And the you, the new you deserves to get things the former you didn't get either. And so this is why this season is so critical. And I've stacked up maybe 30 straight separation seasons.

• 5:45Ed Mylett?

  There's other ones. There's summertime, right? There's times like that. And we're going to talk about some of that right now. And so, but right now is the big one. You all know what I'm talking about, right? Everyone gets kind of casual. Everyone slows down and one day turns into three days, turns into four days. You know, Christmas is a holiday. It's not a hall of months. New Year's Eve is a holiday, not a hall of month or a hall of week. But people keep taking these hall of weeks and hall of months this time of year. And it's when you get them. It's when you get the former you. It's when this new version of you emerges. And so take advantage of this season. It's the greatest of all seasons. And I can tell you, it's one of the reasons why if I do have some good things going on in my life, is I separated during this time.

• 6:28Ed Mylett?

  I separated from the old me and I separated from my competition. So let's talk a little bit about what some of those things are. Number one, right now, you know, in business, people are going to start slowing down. They're going to start doing all their planning for 2020. Here's the truth, planning doesn't take that long. You can do planning in a pretty quick window of time, right? You need to get after it, you need to execute. There's 12 months in a year. There's 365 days in most years, right? But don't, don't go start planning 21 days before the year on a plan you could have done on New Year's Day anyway. You know what I'm talking about, let's not make any excuses to do that. For you achievers, you want to separate this time of year. But there's a subtle thing that most people don't realize about themselves. If you're not a real competitive achiever type, maybe you're more of a belonger.

• 7:13Ed Mylett?

  I want you to hear me very closely because there's a lot of people that fit both descriptions. You like being on the team, you like being a part of a squad, you like being part of a family environment. You're kind of that person who loves to be a part of something, but maybe not lead something. You have a really hard time doing the work this time of year because unconsciously, subconsciously, listen to me. You don't want to separate. You don't want to pull away from the pack. You love these people that you're around. And so unconsciously and subconsciously, you start slowing down as to not pull away, even though you know these things could pull you away from the pack because you don't want to leave people. You like the people that you're around, you're kind of that person. So if you're that person, you go to evaluate that.

• 7:53Ed Mylett?

  Is there some element of you subconsciously or unconsciously purposely doesn't do the things you know you should be doing to separate? Because you don't want to separate from where you currently are and you don't want to separate from the group of people that you're around. And this is something that most people don't process. And so let's talk about some basic places you could separate. Number one, let's talk about your fitness. This is the time of year where people start missing gym days, don't they? Don't they? But you right now are going to make a conscious decision. I don't miss my routine. In fact, I double up on my routine. I'm not going to miss workouts, I'm not going to miss my gym sessions. I'm not going to make any excuses about parties or, or you know, stay home orders. Now, if you've got COVID or something like that, obviously you're going to be working out at your home or pushups or some nature like that. But you're not going to use COVID as an excuse not to train or workout.

• 8:37Ed Mylett?

  If you can go to a gym, if you live where you can still go to a gym, you're not going to use holidays or parties as a reason not to do that. You're going to let other people miss those workouts, other people. The former you would have missed this workout, the former of you would have made a COVID excuse. The separating you doesn't do that anymore and that's going to produce a better version of you. So that's one place you could separate. Nutrition this time of year. You're going to have all kinds of temptation around you, aren't you? About eating foods you probably normally wouldn't eat, but what do we do? We go, well, it's Christmas, of course I'm going to have it. But what if you could not, I'm not saying don't eat the dessert. But could you separate, what if you decided, I'm just gonna do it a little bit different than everybody else, because I wanna convince me I'm doing things other people aren't willing to do. I'm gonna convince me I'm different from the former me and from the people potentially

• 9:20Ed Mylett?

  that I wanna pass up. There's two types of people listen to this. One of these like, I'd really like to change me and get better than the former me. And then there's the other ones, you're like, I wanna do that, and I wanna smoke some people in life and business too. I'm competitive. Both are okay. But when it comes to eating, let's just say when those desserts present themselves. You know what I'm talking about, right? What if you just ate half the dessert? Maybe you're not so crazy, you don't eat any desserts, you wanna enjoy your life, the holidays are, eat half the piece of pie. It's the same flavor after the first three bites. That's what I found out. It's the same cake on the fifth bite it was on the third bite, so I'll eat three. It's the same taste, right? If it's gonna be an unhealthy meal, it's gonna be, you know, turkey and stuffing and all that stuff around me if you do that, or in some called enchiladas, or whatever it is you're

• 10:04Ed Mylett?

  doing, tamales around Christmas time. You know, the different foods that we eat in our cultures, the Italian folks with our lasagnas around the holidays, whatever your, your, your, you know, traditions are. Could you, it's not that you don't wanna eat it, because you wanna enjoy your life. What if you just ate half of it, right? What if you were in portion control? That's a way to separate yourself. So it's little things like that. It's when you're at the gym, it's the separation season of doing that one more rep that I talk about, the one more exercise. In fact, I have to share with you, I was at the gym today, and my gym has moved outdoors here in California, at least fortunate that the one I go to in Orange County, at least they moved their equipment outdoors. Many gyms have just shut down. And at the end of my workout, I was doing abs. I'd done,

• 10:46Ed Mylett?

  today was a shoulder leg, or shoulder ab day for me. And I'd done my shoulder workout and exactly what I'd prescribed, I did one more rep and one more, and all of my different sets, because I believe in that mantra of one more. Doing one more separates me. Remember that one more, right? And so, but when I was doing my abs, I had picked three exercises I was gonna do, and I'm like, wait a minute, it's separation season. Everybody's just doing their normal ab workout. I'm gonna do one more exercise on my abs for a fourth ab exercise set. Does that improve my abs? Maybe, but it improves the way I look at myself. And when I left that gym today, I did, I did stuff the old me wouldn't do.

• 11:26Ed Mylett?

  And I did stuff most people working out there aren't willing to do. I deserve at forty nine years old to have the body of my dreams. So I'm convincing myself through what I'm separating that I deserve those things. I'm not in competition with other forty nine year olds, but I'm in competition with the forty eight year old me. I want to be more fit. I want to feel stronger. I want to feel more powerful, more flexible, right? More energized than I did. And so these little separator steps, you stack them up, especially in the season when everyone else isn't doing it and it magnifies. So it's important not only to do separation season because I'm challenging you to do that. It's important to give yourself credit.

• 12:05Ed Mylett?

  And be intentional about it when you do it to go, I did it. I did it. And you're stacking that in the bank of changing you. They're deposits you're making. But if you're not aware of the positive, imagine you went to a bank, you made a thousand dollar deposit in the bank. But you didn't get the deposit slip to prove that it was in there. You didn't do anything to validate the deposit, right? That could be concerning. Well, a lot of people do these separation things, but they don't get the deposit slip. They don't go, I did it. The deposit slip of life is acknowledging and giving yourself credit. For doing the things that serve you that the old you wouldn't do or other people wouldn't do. So it's not enough just to do it. You have to be intentional about giving yourself the deposit slip, the credit.

• 12:44Ed Mylett?

  That's required. That's what begins to change our identity. That's what begins to change our subconscious and unconscious mind and eventually even our conscious thoughts. How about having some separation moments this year with your family? How do you separate your family? How about some separation moments? What could you do this holiday season? That's a moment that you've never had before. Think about how can I separate my family from every other holiday we've had? How can we separate from the average, ordinary families? What could we do this year? You know, many of you have been DMing saying, this is the first year ever. I'm going to go down and I'm going to feed the homeless this year and I want to take my children there. What an amazing way to separate this holiday from all the other ones. If you've never done that before, maybe your separations, you're going to go back to church. You haven't been to church in a long time. Maybe you can't.

• 13:29Ed Mylett?

  Physically go, so you're gonna do it online. Maybe it's this holiday season, you're gonna decide, hey, guys, this is corny. But we're gonna take a walk. Or this may sound silly, but I know how we don't always eat together every night, but for the next week, we're gonna have dinner together every night at the dinner table. These things may seem very simple. But I ask yourself right now. What could I do? To have some sort of separation season during this holiday season for my family? That makes it better and different in a very difficult time? That may cost no money? That I could do if I were innovative and creative? That would make this the separation of all holiday seasons for my family? I want you to begin to think about how you could separate that separation moments.

• 14:10Ed Mylett?

  I think if you begin to process this stuff of I'm gonna separate in every area I can. I think you're gonna find something very special happening. Friday afternoons. The productivity level on all the studies for entrepreneurs and employees. And even in school with students and teachers. Friday afternoons, beginning at one o'clock till five o'clock, or is the most unproductive window of the week. Why? Cause everybody's taking their plan to go cool it for the weekend. What if you decided I'm gonna start pressing the pedal down Fridays between one and five? That's a separation window of time. Where before maybe you weren't after it, now you are, you've changed your identity. This is how? You become a new you in 2021. If you just do the same things. Right?

• 14:55Ed Mylett?

  Or you just think different thoughts, but behave exactly the same way. The chances of you separating yourself from where you currently are at the time you're listening to this podcast or this YouTube video and watching it. And a year from now, when we come back, if it's just thoughts. See, you have to have a congruency between the way you move your body, your actions and your thoughts. That validates them, that congruency changes you. But if you just think something and act the same way. And don't separate from the former you, separate from the former thought. Then eventually the body overtakes the mind, your body is your unconscious mind, it's your subconscious mind. The thought is conscious, the body's your subconscious mind. So if you can begin to move your body in congruency with your thoughts.

• 15:36Ed Mylett?

  Now you've created a new you in 2021, maybe a new company, maybe a new family, maybe a new relationship, maybe a new body, maybe new finances. But the actions have to be in congruency. With the thoughts, the body moving as you think. That's how we separate. And so I want you to begin to think about, well, Friday afternoons, I could separate. Another thing that happens, most entrepreneurs slow down on weekends. Saturdays are huge separation seasons for entrepreneurs. Most entrepreneurs cool it on Saturday. I'm not suggesting you have to work Saturdays, but if I were trying to find, because life's a game of inches. In the big time, it's not yards that separate the great ones. It's not yards that take people who are functioning at a high level and they go a little bit higher. It's inches. It's a game of inches. In fact, these inches are so small, it's almost too scary

• 16:21Ed Mylett?

  to talk about. Because it's that small of a thing. When you start stacking up one more, but you separate. So what's another place, Ed, in 2021 where I might separate? Saturdays. Saturdays. Friday afternoons, right? These are places where you can separate. They slow down. They flinch. You blow their doors off. You know what I'm talking about? And as you're doing it, you're, I'm doing stuff no one's willing to do. I'm gonna get things no one's gonna get. Or maybe the thought is, I'm doing stuff I've never done before. So I'm gonna be a whole new me and get a life I've never had before. This is how you change how you view you. By the way, there's a whole bunch of other ones, too. There's the summertime.

• 17:03Ed Mylett?

  There's evenings. A lot of people just assume, once I'm home, well, what if you could carve out a half hour in the evening and disappear and do some emails that the average person doesn't do? Or disappear in the evening. You've had your family time, or, but you kind of carve it out. Or you do a second workout, like in 75 Hard, in the evening, because no one does second workouts, but now you do. So there's these things where you can separate. It's abstaining from a particular behavior for a window of time that separates you. It's like, you know what? I'm not gonna eat this way, or I'm not gonna drink this thing, or smoke this thing I smoke. I'm gonna put that down and separate from the former me. I'm changing my behaviors. If you're an athlete, and you're that person who always stays the latest, right? Stay 15

• 17:47Ed Mylett?

  minutes more. Stay another 15 minutes. Separate from the former you. All of these inches add up. Here's another way you can separate yourself. This me seems small. You're at a social function. Hopefully, we get back to doing that soon, right? But when I have separated myself, you ever go to a social function? You sort of see the person who's left alone that nobody knows. It's very uncomfortable for me to walk up to a stranger. But what I've built the habit of is separating from the former me is approaching somebody in a social circle I can tell is the one who doesn't know everybody there and going over and welcoming them and introducing myself and getting to know them and asking them what their story is. Maybe the way you separate yourself is, here's a huge one that you could do starting now and maybe all the way into 2021. You ready?

• 18:32Ed Mylett?

  Stand up for somebody when they're not there and another person is gossiping about them. You want to separate and feel great about yourself? You know exactly what I'm talking about. We all get into these conversations where there's a little gossip about another person. What if you started to separate from the former you? Separate from the average and ordinary person and stand up for that person when they're not present to defend themselves and say, hey, I don't know if any of that's true, but that's not something I want to be hearing about. Or you know what? I know so and so, and I don't believe that's true. I don't think they would do or say that. And I don't like that we're talking about this. It makes it uncomfortable. We're both better than this. And so what if you started to do these little things could start to tell you, you know what? I'm different. I'm behaving differently. I'm a little bit better than I used to be. I'm separating from the former me.

• 19:16Ed Mylett?

  I'm separating from what average and ordinary people do. Average and ordinary people do all the things reverse of what I just said. They cool it on Friday afternoons. They eat the full piece of cake. They slow down on their workouts. They don't get creative around the holidays. They gossip about other people, don't they? They don't create new thoughts. They don't do the extra rep at the gym. They don't stay disciplined to their diets, right? They don't put in a little extra effort in the evening. They don't do anything on Saturdays. So all of these things are opportunities. I think what you're going to find, if you really begin to think about separating from the former you and becoming the better you, almost nobody goes up to that person who's alone at the party. You know what you're gonna find out?

• 19:58Ed Mylett?

  This thing we call winning, or bliss, or self-worth, self-confidence, identity, isn't as difficult as we think it is. It's little inches, and when we're aware, and we're intentional, and we get creative and innovative about places we can separate ourselves. I mean, it may sound really silly and stupid, because I'm an introverted person, but one of the ways I separate myself, this may sound really silly, guys, I smile and say hello to strangers often, because almost nobody does it. I would have never done it before, and just to give them the gift, you're gonna think I'm crazy. I walk by people sometimes, if I can't make eye contact, I literally say a prayer. Peace be with them. You think, why would you do that?

• 20:43Ed Mylett?

  Well, one, I wanna pray for them, and two, it's a way for me to feel better about me. I'm doing something, thousands of people walk by that person, didn't see them, didn't say hello, didn't smile, and even if I didn't do that, almost nobody'd say a quick prayer for a stranger. Right? Separation season, next level. Make a few extra phone calls and text messages this year that almost no one's gonna make. Instead of texting that friend that you talk to all the time, you know that's the normal behavior, separate, call them. Let them hear your voice. Maybe that person you have not texted or talked to in a long time, send them that text, send it to multiple people, let them know you care about them. You know how you all get that text everyone sends, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, that everybody gets?

• 21:26Ed Mylett?

  Separate yourself, and make them voice notes this year, where you personally say it to somebody. Takes a little bit more time, might be an extra couple hours. Do it. You want another way to separate yourself? Do it before New Year's Eve, and do it before Christmas Eve. I'm gonna give you a tip. Everyone gets all their messages on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. How about you leave your voice notes or your text message two or three days early? Hey, I wanted to be the first, or I wanted to get in there early before everybody's hearing about you. I wanted you to know I was thinking about you. When New Year's happens, how about doing it on December 29th? Just say, hey, New Year's is coming, we're all gonna get flooded with messages. I've already made my plans, I know you have, and reach out early. That's a separator.

• 22:07Ed Mylett?

  It makes you different, it makes you unique, and it makes you begin to separate from the former you, and you separate from your competition. If you want to move apart from where you are currently, it's what you're going to do now, right now, and into next year, that's going to make the difference, not what you say and not just what you think. Now, does what I've done millions of hours with you guys on what you think can impact how you act. I understand all that. But the end of the day, there's too many people just thinking they can think their way into changing their life. You can't think your way into doing it. You must physically do it. You must physically separate. And I'm gonna give you the mother of all great news about separation season. You ready? Millions

• 22:51Ed Mylett?

  of people are hearing this show right now, or watching it, and less than 1% will do any of the things I've said. Is that incredible? Less than 1%. So by virtue of doing anything I've said today, any of the things, not all of them, and some of you will do all of them, but any of them, any one of them, you have separated yourself from about 99% of the people. But more importantly, if you do just one of them, you've separated yourself from the former you into a growing, better you. So I love separation season. When they get weak, when they flinch, when they relax, when they kick back, when they take a haul a month or

• 23:34Ed Mylett?

  a haul a week, we take our holiday, and even on our holiday, we find our little goofy, crazy ways to separate ourselves. And you know what you could do really big time this holiday season? Separate yourself by having more fun. See, none of the things I said can steal from fun. Don't have to take from your fun. What if you decided this can be the most blissful, most fun holiday of all time, and you know what? It doesn't matter what the conditions are. It doesn't matter about a pandemic. Hey, guys, I'm in the pandemic too. I've had some health issues too. I've had some family issues too. I've had my best friend and father pass away too. So I understand all that. Okay, I relate to a lot of the pain many of you are going through. I connect with that. I'm being vulnerable with you. And guess what? This

• 24:19Ed Mylett?

  is gonna be the most blissful, separating season of my dad gum life, because I'm gonna Honor these difficult times by coming out of this a better man, an improved man. And I don't do that by hoping it or thinking it, even though those things help. I want to hope, I want to think, but I gotta do. And there's simple little things, these inches are the separators. The sad thing in life is people think they have to make these massive dramatic changes in order to create the catalyst for long-term change. Most massive chains are simple, fine-tuning type carburetor adjustments that we make that end up overhauling the engine of our life long-term if we're willing to get creative and innovative.

• 25:03Ed Mylett?

  So I want all of your thoughts, your vision, your paradigm, the matrix you start to see the world through, starting right this moment. How can I separate? How can I separate? Separations, separation from competition, separation from the former me. How can I separate my body? Separate my mind, separate my family, separate my moments, separate my nutrition, separate my business, separate my money. Everyone's spending extra money, I ain't doing that this year. I'm separating. Everyone overeats, I ain't doing that this year. Everybody cools their workouts, I ain't doing that this year. Right? All of these things begin to be catalysts for change. And you stack up all these inches. And this time next year, there's a different woman standing there. There's a different man standing there. It won't be perfect. There'll be things you need to do then to separate from that person.

• 25:48Ed Mylett?

  But I want you to remember this lastly. We're not separating from where we are because there's something wrong with us. That's not the reason. You're exactly the way you're supposed to be because that's exactly who you are right now. All you can do is start from where you are, one day at a time, one more at a time, and separate. And guess what? In a year, you'll be exactly the woman or man you're supposed to be at that time. And we'll be talking about separating from there as well. That's the journey of life. We're either growing or we're dying. Right? And I want you to grow. And we grow by separating. So today was brief, to the point, tactics, strategies. Share this with people. Get the message out to your teams, if you're in business, that it's time to separate as a team, as a company.

• 26:31Ed Mylett?

  Get it to your children, your family, the athletes you know. It's time to separate. This episode is sponsored by Ro. A lot of people assume GLP-1's cost a fortune, and that assumption keeps them from even looking into treatment. Ro helps people find a more affordable path to FDA-approved GLP-1 treatment. Ro wants to help people lose weight. That's why they have more affordable GLP-1 options, whether you're paying with insurance or cash. Ro's free insurance checker makes it easy to see if you're covered for GLP-1 injections. Just submit your insurance card and Ro handles the rest. No paperwork, no waiting on hold, no confusing phone calls. And if insurance doesn't cover treatment, there are still options. Ro offers the lowest-cost, cash-pay FDA-approved GLP-1s,

• 27:15Ed Mylett?

  such as daily pills and multi-dose pens. I use products by Ro, and you should too. Go to ro.co/milet to see if you qualify. That's R-O dot C-O slash Mylett to get started on Ro. For side effects of GLP-1 medications, including boxed warning, go to ro.co/safety. ro.co/safety. Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Today's question involves winning. And I've been asked, "Ed, can you please give us one of the invisible keys to winning that separates the winners from the losers in any endeavor?" And so I'm gonna do that today. You know, there's a million keys to winning,

• 28:00Ed Mylett?

  but one of the things, I want to take the mystery out of it for you. First thing is, I'm always a little bit concerned. It's trepidatious for me to talk about winning and losing because I know how small the difference between winning and losing is. It's almost too scary to talk about. It's really true. I've watched people get very close to winning, and it's that one little thing they miss, that invisible thing that separates the winners from the losers. It truly is a game of inches and millimeters when it comes to winning in business, winning in sports, winning in life, winning in our body, winning in our emotions. It's the small things I've found. And I think most people want to believe that there's all of these secrets to winning because as long as it's secretive and they don't do it, then they've got an excuse as to why they haven't won.

• 28:44Ed Mylett?

  But what if the truth is, there really aren't any secrets? There just really aren't. That we all sort of really know what we need to do to win. But what it comes down to, that little thing, that separator that's too scary to talk about, is our willingness to do those things and the consistency with which we do them. Here's what I've found. The people that are average and ordinary in most endeavors in life, do the things they need to do occasionally. And the people that win and dominate, do them every day. They just do it more consistently. They do the things that the average do once in a while, they do all the time. And that's the separator. It's not, you can't do something when you feel like it. You can't do things on the days that you feel great.

• 29:28Ed Mylett?

  The separator isn't who's more motivated, right? Motivation's important, inspiration's important. But the truth is, it's what do you do on the days that you are not motivated? That you are not inspired? Do you have the habits and rituals and disciplines? The guts, the grit, frankly, to step up and do the things that you know you need to do all the time, not some of the time. And when you stack up those all the times, those are the inches that you fight for that separate the greats from the average. The ones that become the best ever, the goats in their industry, the best moms, the best dads, the multimillionaire entrepreneur, compared to the ones that just do okay.

• 30:10Ed Mylett?

  It's interesting, you know, there's a rhythm and a pace to success that I think most people aren't familiar with. But I can promise you right now that if you spend a day with some of the top entrepreneurs in the world, there's a rhythm and a pace that you probably aren't used to. It's faster, it's quicker, they talk faster, they walk faster, they think faster, they make decisions faster. And it's just a hair. Like, if you watch an average, ordinary entrepreneur, they look like they're working hard, they look like they do things most days, but it's a little slower. The cadence, the rhythm, isn't quite what it is for those that dominate. I could tell you, there's a rhythm to success. And once you understand that rhythm, which I'm trying to explain to you, it's 15% faster, it's 20% faster, it's not 100 times.

• 30:54Ed Mylett?

  They don't do a million things better. They do a few things better and they do those things consistently and they do them faster and more repetitiously.

• 31:03Ed Mylett?

  You know, really, the best ability in life is availability. The best ability is availability. It's showing up and doing things consistently on a regular basis that most people just can't have the discipline to do. They get what I call leadership fatigue. Or they get routine fatigue. They just get tired of saying the same things over and over again, of doing the same things over and over again. And that's what discipline is. Discipline is the ability to do things when you don't feel like it. And when you're tired of doing it, when you're fatigued, when you're bored with doing it. Most winning is not beautiful. It's a grind. And remember this, when you're making history, it very rarely feels like it. It rarely feels like it. What it feels like is work.

• 31:48Ed Mylett?

  What it feels like is lonely. What it feels like is you're the only one doing it. And that's because you probably are. But what you need to know is that when you're laying those bricks every day and the person that you're competing against is laying them every third day, eventually, even if they're better at laying the bricks, even if they have some magic brick, which there's no such thing, eventually, it's the person who can do it over and over and over again that separates themselves. And the truth is, why don't people do things consistently? Because it's not sexy. It's not exciting, right? You think about the best, if you had a great mom, right? What does she do?

• 32:28Ed Mylett?

  She just shows up quietly every day and does the things that make a difference that aren't beautiful, but they, they matter. If you have one, like a mom like I had, it was, she was there every morning. She made my lunch every day on the days when she was sick and the days when she didn't feel like it. She picked me up every day from school. I never needed to wonder whether mom was going to show up to pick me up from school. You all know what I mean, right? Can you imagine if you were raised not knowing whether or not your parent was going to get you from school, not knowing whether you're going to have lunch every day? And I know a lot of you had to grow up that way. But the truth is, like, my mom just did the quiet things that great people do every single day. She did her homework with me every single day.

• 33:12Ed Mylett?

  And I did well in school because of that. Whereas some parents did it only when grades were bad, only when they had to, only when there was a problem, only when they felt like it, only when their schedule permitted it. So my mom was a great mom and some moms are average moms. Right? That's what separates you is doing those small things every single day. You know, it's like getting up earlier. In my first book, I talk about, you know, successful people get up earlier. They just simply get up earlier. But how do you get up early? You say, Ed, I get up at seven o'clock. I'd really like to get up at 5:30. Well, you don't all of a sudden start getting up at 5:30. If you got up an hour and a half earlier, this is what most people try. They try to change everything all at once. Right? Let me tell you what's gonna happen. By about noon, you're gonna be tired.

• 33:56Ed Mylett?

  And you're not gonna be your best. The way you get up earlier every day is the way you change everything in life incrementally. So right now, if you get up at seven and you want to eventually get up at 5:30, do you know what you do? You get up 15 minutes earlier. You won't miss those 15 minutes of sleep. Now you're up at 6:45. And you do that for a month. For a month, you get up 15 minutes earlier. You won't even feel the change. It doesn't even seem like a big deal. It's a drop in the bucket. Right? It's 15 more minutes. But then the next month, you get up 15 minutes earlier. Now you're up at 6:30. You're up at 6:30 and you do that for a month. You won't miss those 15 minutes from 6:45. It doesn't even feel like you've changed anything. But consistently, now you're up 15 minutes earlier. And then the next month, you get up at 6:15.

• 34:42Ed Mylett?

  And all of a sudden, you went from seven to 6:45 to 6:30. Now it's 6:15. And before you know it, a month after that, it's 6:00 AM. You can reverse engineer it all the way back several months later. You're waking up at 5:30, but you do it incrementally. And it doesn't seem like a big change, but it's huge because it's consistent. Same thing in business. If you want to start doing it, it's, it's not making 100 times more contacts every day. It's increasing your productivity by 15 to 20% and doing it every single day. It's not massive changes. Most of you, if you're an engine, don't need a major engine overhaul. You need a small, fine tuning type adjustment. The old days are carburetor type adjustment.

• 35:25Ed Mylett?

  That's the difference. It's these small things. It's doing it consistently. And it's this belief system, listen to me, that you're gonna become relentless and obsessed with what you're doing. You know what the great ones do? They do the needle moving things. The things that move the needle. They don't just do the routine every day. They do something in their life as a parent, as an entrepreneur, as a leader, that moves the needle, stuff that can make quantum leaps. The hard stuff, the difficult stuff. I teach in my scheduling that I don't do first things first every day. I do feared things first. Feared things first. Get the thing you're most afraid of out of the way. You know how you do something consistently?

• 36:08Ed Mylett?

  You build the habit of doing the feared things first in your day. If early in your day, if you've got a call you don't want to make, do that call first. If you've got a meeting you don't want, schedule it first. I try to schedule all my difficult meetings on Mondays. Early in the day, too, because I want to create momentum. If I can do that one I don't want to do, if I can make that call I don't want to make, the rest of my day is like downhill. It's like momentum going down the hill as opposed to, if you've got that hard meeting or that one call or that contact you needed to make, and you just haven't made it all day and you make the other ones, you know you're climbing uphill all day till you got to do that one. But if you just knock the feared things first off, then it's like cruising downhill all day. It's much easier when you create momentum. These are the things.

• 36:53Ed Mylett?

  It's the pace, it's the rhythm, it's the consistency, it's the availability. It's the game of inches that separate people. It's doing the things every day that the average do some days. It's doing it on the days you don't feel like it compared to those who just do it when they're pumped up and excited and they've heard the right podcast or they got the right Instagram message today. These are the separators. And when it comes down to, truthfully, is this belief system. And here's what I've always said, and I mean this, I think you got to evaluate this, truly. If you believe you're far away from something, you will pace yourself that way. I've always heard people say, "Well, business is a marathon. Life's a marathon.

• 37:39Ed Mylett?

  Life is really long." Life can be short if it's miserable. I can tell you that. Life can be short if it's not going very well.

• 37:48Ed Mylett?

  And although it's a marathon, the great ones sprint the whole race. That's not that they don't rest. I don't know. You know what I mean? What I'm saying is there's a pace. If you think something's far away, you act like it. See, most people don't lack vision. They have a vision. If you asked them, "Hey, do you want to be rich or poor?", the average person would probably say, "Rich." "Do you want to make a big difference in the world or make none?" "I'd like to make a difference." "You want to contribute or not contribute?" "I want to contribute." "Do you want to laugh or cry more?" "I want to laugh more." "Want to be happy or sad?" "I want to be happy." "You want to go see things and create memories in your life or basically do the same thing over and over again?" Most people say, "I want memories in my life." So it's not that you don't have a vision. It's that you have a depth perception problem. You have a pacing problem.

• 38:34Ed Mylett?

  See, you think your dreams, those feelings, those memories, that change, that body, that relationship, that amount of money is really far away. And because you believe it's that far away, you've created patterns, belief systems, thought processes in your life that perpetually keep it that far away. You are jogging in the marathon of life where the winners are running 15 to 20% faster than you. They're up 15 minutes before you. They're making 15 to 20% more contacts. They're doing every day what you do some days because they believe that their one decision, one meeting, one new contact, one new relationship, one new thought,

• 39:18Ed Mylett?

  maybe one podcast away from completely changing their life. I'm not suggesting to you that it's going to be easy and that it's going to happen like that. What I am suggesting to you is that if you think it's really far away and you pace yourself and you do things occasionally... It'll always stay that far away. It'll always be there. It'll always be a mystery. And here's the truth, you and I both know it. There's no mystery to what makes a great mom or a great dad. You know exactly what it is. There's no mystery of what makes a great athlete. You know exactly what that looks like. There's no mystery would make a great entrepreneur. There's no mystery that would make you happier. There's no mystery. The mystery is you.

• 40:02Ed Mylett?

  The mystery is, are you willing to do the things every day? To be relentless, to be obsessed, to get out of balance? This notion of balance is a fallacy. If you're gonna do anything great in your life, some things are gonna be popping at a given time when others aren't. But what if this entire notion that your life is a finite kind of pie? That if you take a big slice out of the business pie, your family's gonna suffer? If you really focus on your family, then you're gonna suffer in your fitness. What if the truth is that you're an expanding being that vibrates at a very high frequency? And that when you magnify one area of your life, if you do it correctly, it'll magnify and expand the others, not take from it?

• 40:47Ed Mylett?

  See, all these questions about what it takes to win, or am I gonna be out of balance, are from a completely flawed belief system. Two beliefs, one is that it's further away than it really is. And two, is that if I'm killing it in one area of my life, another area has to suffer. What if that's one of the great lies of life? What if one of the great lies of life is that your dreams are for other people? That it's for people not like you, that they're doing extraordinary things that you're incapable of doing? As opposed to the truth is, they're just doing things every day that you only do occasionally. They have availability all the time. What if the truth is that the great lie is that it's far away? And the truth is that it's one decision, one new thought, one meeting, one connection away?

• 41:32Ed Mylett?

  What if that's the great lie of life? What if the great lie of life is that this is for other people and not you? Because I can tell you that that's a lie. The truth is, is that it's very close. And the truth is, is that it's these small decisions that alter our lives. I could tell you straight up, you're a lot closer than you think you are. And what if the third great lie is that, oh, if I'm really expanding one area of my life, another area has to suffer, that I'll become out of balance. I don't even know what balance means, but what I've found in my life, and here's the truth, that's a lie. It's a flawed belief system that's been mind-virused throughout our culture and our society for years, where we have these concepts of balance. Let me tell you what I've found, that when I am killing it in the gym,

• 42:17Ed Mylett?

  and I'm a business athlete, and I'm strong, and I'm spending time in there training my body, that I'm a better businessman. That's what I've found, that my gym life, my fitness life expands my business life. You know what I've also found? That when I'm killing it at work, and I'm giving it everything I've got, that when I come home, I'm a better dad. I'm a better friend. I've got more insights, more energy to give to other people. When I'm suffering at work, I usually suffer at home. When I'm suffering in the gym, I'm suffering at work. So when one area expands, it magnifies the other areas of life. The reason that we believe it takes from one another, and then we feed that belief system, is we've been programmed into our minds to believe it.

• 42:58Ed Mylett?

  I'm not saying that you not need to be careful, that you don't need to be careful about your allocation of time and making sure everybody gets something. But I can tell you straight up, the fitter I've gotten, and the harder I've worked out in the gym, and the more time I put in there, the better businessman that I've been. The better businessman I've been, when I'm making a difference in my work, and I'm growing and expanding, the more I bring to my family and friends, the more value I have, the more insights I have, the more love I have, the bigger and better version of me I have to share with my family. You remember this? If you're doing a great job as a mother or a father, you're gonna bring that love, and that comfort, and that security, and that faith into your work-life, and it's going to expand your work-life, not take from it.

• 43:42Ed Mylett?

  And when you're crushing it at work, you're gonna be a better mom and a better dad and a better friend because you're a better you and you're more proud of you and you respect you more. And because when you come from that place, you've got more to give other people. And when you're nailing it in your fitness and you're crushing it and you're fitter and stronger, those aren't hours you're taking from other places. Those are investments you're making in your strength and your vitality and your mental well-being so that you are better at work and that you are better in your family. One of those areas expands the others as long as you believe it does. Those are the three lies of life. And today I cleared it up for you. I told you the truth. And so although there are no secrets to winning, there are lies.

• 44:27Ed Mylett?

  There are flawed belief systems that take from winning. And what I have found is that if you do the things that I've described today, you put yourself in a position to win where the probability of you winning is increased. There's no guarantees in life. There's no promises. What we're trying to do is increase the probability and the possibility of our winning. And what starts to happen is you become an impossibility thinker into a possibility achiever. All your life, you've had this secret notion about you. Deep in your heart, you were known, you were born to do something great with your life. When you were a little boy or a little girl, you just knew it. Maybe even had a family member who made you feel that way.

• 45:11Ed Mylett?

  They saw the special in you, didn't they? I'm here to just remind you today. They were right. You were right. You were born to do something great with your life. And I mean, yes, you sister, yes, you, my brother. And maybe no one's told you in a while. Maybe no one's reminded you in a while. But I want you to know God made you to do something great. He made you in His image and likeness with a big plan. And you're gonna make a difference in people's lives in what seem to be small ways that end up being huge ways down the line in their life. And some of the things when you're doing it's gonna feel really big when you're doing it. But remember what I said earlier, when you're making history in your life, most of the time, it doesn't feel like it because you're in the midst of the work, you're in the midst

• 45:56Ed Mylett?

  of the fog, you're on that lonely road to success that I've described in other podcasts. If you've not heard those shows, listen to them. It seems lonely, it seems dark, it doesn't seem like you're getting there, but meanwhile, you're making deposits in the bank account of success every single day. The truth is, the people that win, that become the goats, that are the great ones, they've just made more deposits in the success account than those that haven't. And they make those deposits because they do needle moving things, they get up a little bit earlier, they do it more consistently, they believe they're closer than they are, they know that when they're crushing in one area, they're expanding in others, they know it's a game of inches, they know it's almost too scary to talk about, but the thing they

• 46:38Ed Mylett?

  really know is that they were born to do it, that they were born to do something great with their life. So I'm here to remind you, it's closer than you think, you're closer than you think. There are no secrets, but there are secrets. There are lies, there are flawed belief systems, and hopefully today, we've rid you of a few of them. I really believe in you. And I don't believe in you because I've met you, because millions of you I haven't met. I believe in you because I believe in God. I believe that he doesn't make any mistakes, and even if you don't believe in God, that's okay, I got enough belief for both of us. And I know that you were born to do something awesome, that you're not here by mistake. I know there's a purpose to you and your life, and I know the more that you do these

• 47:22Ed Mylett?

  things I've described, that purpose will be revealed to you, even if it's not clear to you now. Over time, it'll be revealed. Over time, those deposits you're making, millions of other people in your life, and maybe just a few of them, will be the benefactors of making the withdrawals because you did all of the work. The people that you love will thank you someday for doing all of the work you've done. Just right now, they can't see it. Right now, maybe they don't even believe it for you. But I believe it, and I know you're gonna do something great. I hope today helped you. Hope every week when we come back on these solo episodes, that you go, I picked up another thing, I'm more inspired, I learned something, this is something I'm gonna shift. I know for me, it was valuable today. I feel like I was talking to me.

• 48:07Ed Mylett?

  Feel like I was talking to me. We're all in this together. We're all brothers and sisters. None of us are better than anybody else. You know, the world is going to try to convince you that we're all separated, that we're all at each other's throats right now. We're all in this together. And although we may have different opinions and belief systems about different things, we're brothers and sisters nonetheless. And we were put here and born to make each other's lives better. And that includes you. You are uniquely qualified to change other people's lives. You're the only person on earth right now with your experiences, your personality, your background, your heart, your mind, all combined into one human being.

• 48:50Ed Mylett?

  Man, that's pretty special. Man, you're special. So you know those pieces in your closet that you find yourself wearing like on repeat all the time? That sweater that kind of just goes with everything or these perfect pair of pants? Those are the pieces that make getting dressed easy and that's what Quince does best. Quince focuses on high quality wardrobe staples with premium materials like 100% Mongolian cashmere, organic cotton. The styles are timeless, versatile and designed to become the dependable pieces you reach for every day. It's what I'm wearing right now. They give you the softness and quality you'd expect from a luxury brand without the price tag. Quince also makes premium pants, fitted tees and polos, and breathable activewear. Quality basics designed to work with your wardrobe and hold up to everyday wear. I love their cotton tees. I'm wearing one now and I get a ton of compliments when I wear

• 49:35Ed Mylett?

  them on the podcast and when I speak. So find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com/ed for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. That's Q U I N C E dot com slash ed. That was a great conversation. Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. People ask me often, "What were some of the decisions and choices and areas I focused on that made the biggest difference for me in my life?" And today's topic is the thing that I would probably give you the gift of first. And that is the power of your identity.

• 50:18Ed Mylett?

  See, I believe the most powerful force in the world is to be consistent with the thoughts, ideas, concepts, and beliefs you hold to be true about yourself. And that is what identity is. Identity is the governor on every single area of your life. It literally sets the temperature for all of the conditions of your life. Shakespeare has this incredible quote that says, "We know what we are, but not what we may be." And the who you may be is going to be dictated by your ability to alter your identity. Because you are going to always be consistent with what you believe you're worth and what you believe you deserve, or what is your identity. Your identity, the best analogy I could give you, is like a thermostat sitting on the wall of your life.

• 50:59Ed Mylett?

  It sets the entire temperature for the conditions of your life in multiple areas. And so, most people think their life is dictated by external circumstances. They spend their entire life trying to control what is outside of them. You've all heard the great saying that people in 12-step programs talk about, about learning to control the things they can and letting go of the things that they can't control. And the fact of the matter is, you cannot always control the external factors that are impacting you in your life. The good news is, it's the external things in your life that do not dictate the direction or the ultimate destination of your life. That is a fallacy. Listen to me when I tell you this. External circumstances do not dictate the ultimate destination of your life. It's an internal game.

• 51:42Ed Mylett?

  You and your faith, your God, are what will control the direction of your life, not the external things that are impacting you all the time. And this identity is that internal thermostat. It sets the temperature, just like a thermostat sitting on the wall, of the conditions of your entire life. Let me give you an example of how the thermostat of our lives works. The best analogy I could give you is exactly how one works in the room I'm sitting in. It sets the temperature of the room. And so, the external conditions don't impact the internal temperature of this room, because that thermostat regulates the condition of the room. So if we open the door and the windows in this room, and cold air blew in here, the thermostat would kick on, wouldn't it? And heat the room back up to 75 degrees. So no matter what hit it... It regulates the temperature of the room.

• 52:27Ed Mylett?

  The reverse is also true. A bunch of hot air blew in the room if we opened the doors and the windows. The thermostat would cool the room back down and regulate it to 75 degrees. Guess what? That's exactly how your life works. Once you accept this truth, it is a fact that is not the external things that are happening. It's the internal thermostat. Too often in life, people don't work on changing their identity. They're always working on producing external results. Have you ever known somebody who was wealthy and no longer is? Have you ever known somebody who made a bunch of money and no longer does? How about somebody who was in a great relationship and that relationship no longer exists? How about someone who got in great shape that is no longer in that shape again? If your results begin to exceed your internal thermostat,

• 53:11Ed Mylett?

  you will find a way to cool your life back down to what you believe you're worth and you're comfortable with your identity. You'll think it's coincidental. "Oh, this accident happened," or "this appointment canceled," "this circumstance took place." It's not coincidence. All of those things have happened because you set the thermostat of your life and you've regulated what you're going to get. Isn't that incredible? That you can learn all the talents, the behaviors, the skills, the tactics, all the strategies that I teach you. But if you don't alter that thermostat internally, you could have all of the skills of a 100-degree producer and you will live a 75-degree existence because you will turn the air conditioning of your life on, back down to cool it where you're comfortable. It's also true, by the way. You've seen this in your own life. Maybe you've had something really good going in business before. You've got momentum.

• 53:56Ed Mylett?

  It seems like things are happening great. And then you wake up four, five, six months later and you've cooled your life, your business, right back down to where it was before. Maybe you'd saved some money at one time. And then coincidentally, your car broke down, or a bill happened, or there was a run of birthday parties, and all of a sudden, that bank account's back to where it always was. It's not coincidental. You've cooled the conditions back down again. And so you've seen this happen. Maybe you got in great shape at one point, but your identity wasn't that fit a person, and you've cooled it back down to about what you're comfortable being. This is true in your faith and your relationships. By the way, you have multiple thermostat settings. You have one in your faith. You have one in your fitness, one in your money, one in your happiness. Right? One in your business life. So there's multiple identities we have.

• 54:40Ed Mylett?

  The reverse is also true. There's been times in your life where the circumstances, the conditions were terrible. You thought you'd never get out of it. You're never gonna eat again. Well, guess what? You ate again, didn't you? And you heated your life back up to that same place again. So you've proven this over and over in your life, haven't you? So have I, so has every single human being. The governor on our life, the regulator of our life, is our identity, which is the internal thermostat that sets the temperature for our life. So the key in life is to learn all the thoughts, the skills, the tactics, and the strategies that can heat our life up in the areas that matter most to us. But if we don't simultaneously change the conditions of our thermostat, change what we're comfortable living at, change our identity, our worth,

• 55:22Ed Mylett?

  change the thoughts, beliefs, concepts, and value we hold to ourself, we will cool or heat our life back to that regulated temperature. And so I'm telling you, the overall key to changing the external conditions of your life is changing that internal thermostat setting. So that's what we're gonna talk about, some strategies on today. Just being aware that you need to alter the thermostat is a life-changing, liberating condition. I cover this in very specific detail in #maxoutyourlife, my book. It's a quick read, 100 pages. I wrote it so that every page has strategies on it, no fluff. If you want the book, go to maxoutbook.com. If you put in the code MAXOUT, I'll buy the book for you. So I cover this in detail there. But I wanna cover it in detail right now with you as well.

• 56:07Ed Mylett?

  What you need to be doing is becoming aware of how important it is that you adjust this thermostat setting as you produce better results, as you start to learn new skills and strategies and tactics. See, you can move from an average business into an extraordinary business with incredible opportunity, but you will produce the same results you're getting in the average business if you don't change that thermostat setting up to 95 or 100, 120 degrees of what you believe you're worth, the thoughts, concepts, and beliefs you hold true to be about yourself. So it is the regulator on our lives, and it's the main thing I work on with my private coaching, with some of the elite performers I work with in business. In athletics, in entertainment, in politics, is me working with them on changing that internal thermostat

• 56:52Ed Mylett?

  where we can heat it higher and higher and higher, so that they can produce the results and the conditions of their life stay and exceed those levels all the time. In fact, in my own life, I'm always working on my self-confidence, I'm working on my tactics and strategies, my ability to influence, right, my thoughts, all of those different things. But the thing I'm most obsessed about, that I know is going to get me to the ultimate version of me, is constantly elevating the temperature in the areas that matter to me, adjusting that thermostat setting higher and higher and higher and higher, so that I can get those conditions to match it, because it always will. You will always get your thermostat setting, always in your life. So, can I give you any insights as to how to change that thermostat setting? I can, let me give you a couple.

• 57:33Ed Mylett?

  The most powerful way, and the easiest way, to change your thermostat setting, is by adding people to your circle, very close proximity, that live at a higher temperature in that area than you do. For example, in your faith, let's just say, you're a 75-degrier in your faith. You've already seen this. You can't possibly begin to regularly associate with good, godly people who pray regularly, who try to live righteously, and they're at 110, 120 degrees of faith in their life, and not have that proximity heat you up. Now, you won't get to where they are. You'll get to somewhere between where you are at 75 degrees and they are at 110. Over time, you become a 100-degrier. And you alter the thermostat setting through association. Same in business. If you and I were to hang around each other every single day,

• 58:18Ed Mylett?

  and let's say you were a 75-degrier in business hypothetically, and I don't know that about you, but let's just say you were, and I was a 150-degrier, and we hung around each other all the time. Don't you think through that association regularly, especially if you had two or three or four people like me in your life, that just over time, you don't even feel it. You're at 80, you're at 85, you're at 90, you're at 95, and that's where you are. We understand the power of this with our children. Because we know at school, the teachers have influence over them, they're mentors. But the people that really have influence over our children are their friends, because they're around them all the time. And so, we know it sets their temperature. This is true in fitness. 75-degree of fitness and every meal, every day at the gym, all your associations hypothetically speaking were with someone who was shredded and fit

• 59:03Ed Mylett?

  the way you wanted to look at 150 degrees. You know, over time, you get heated up. And so, you can't be with someone every day. You can't be with them all the time. But the key is to get more proximity in the areas that matter with people whose thermostat setting is higher than yours. I am a product. You are listening to me right now because I've been so obsessed with this concept of adding new associations to my life that live in the areas that I want to improve in at higher temperatures than me. It's my obsession to this day. I'll give you a secret. One of the reasons I even do my show is I know that I'm influencing many of these guests in the areas that matter most to them through our proximity, and in some cases, they do it for me. And so, I'm obsessed with the power of association, but I don't just associate.

• 59:48Ed Mylett?

  See, all personalism says, "Yeah, you're the five people you hang around." Kinda. You really are the five, the 10 people you hang around if you're conscious all the time of studying them, of observing them, of asking questions, of the fact that you should be altering your thermostat setting. That's when it really moves. It's not just hanging around. It's consciously and intentionally spending time with people where you allow it to impact you, where you study them, where you really observe them, where you're open to their influence. There has to be a level of trust before you can do that, where you surrender yourself to them. But it's not just being around them. It's intentionally being around people that alters that thermostat setting. So, power of association is the main way to do it.

• 1:00:32Ed Mylett?

  Second way to alter your identity is in a short window of time, behave completely differently. In a 30-day window of time, in your fitness life, you shock your system into eating or training completely differently than you used to. Or, in your business life, you make 100 times more phone calls, 100 more contacts. You do something in a very short window of time that shocks you into believing, "My gosh, I could never go back where I was before." You trick your brain. Into believing you're different. There's this part of our brain that always wants to be consistent with what we're worth. Well, if in a short window of time, I begin to behave completely differently, your brain begins to believe you deserve something differently. When you begin to do the things nobody else is willing to do, you begin to believe you deserve the results nobody else deserves to get.

• 1:01:15Ed Mylett?

  This is important also because it changes the waterline. It's almost like a waterline in the pool. If you raise it, it leaves a new mark. Have you ever seen that before in a lake or a pool? You raise the waterline a short window of time and it just changes the mark in your life. It changes the thermostat setting. So you can alter things in your life in short bursts, and I do this often, in an area where I really need to change. Like right now, I just started back on a really seriously deeply committed fitness journey. I want to get back and past where I've ever been in fitness in my life. So I'm going to add some of these new associations. I'm going to train with a new group of people because I've been training alone. I'm going back to training with some people that are fitter than me, men and women that are fitter than me. That's my first combination. That'll alter my thermostat setting, our proximity.

• 1:01:59Ed Mylett?

  And secondly, I'm going psycho the next 30 days. I'm going psycho. I'm altering my nutrition and my diet dramatically, my workouts dramatically, and I'm going to shock my system in the next 30 days into changing the waterline, changing that temperature setting. That's the second way you alter identity, alter the thermostat setting, so that you alter the external results. I've said this to you before as well. See, beliefs are so important to guard because once you have a belief, your brain goes to work. And I've said this in another audio, video, where your brain has to go to work to prove your beliefs to be true. Your brain literally goes to work on finding the evidence to prove you right. And so that identity, you're constantly reinforcing it. Let me give you an example of what I mean.

• 1:02:42Ed Mylett?

  If you believe a certain worth about yourself, a certain identity, that impacts the type of action you're willing to take. So if there's a goal you've got set, it doesn't matter what it is. Pick a goal. To the extent that you believe it's consistent with your identity is to the extent that you will make an effort towards it. It's a self fulfilling prophecy however, because what happens is if your identity is here and the goal is there, you will only make an effort congruent with what you believe you're worth. And so, that limited effort you make, produces the result not consistent and it reinforces the belief. It's like a self fulfilling prophecy. So you set a goal that is inconsistent with an identity you're working on, you will only make an effort consistent with the identity,

• 1:03:26Ed Mylett?

  which will get you to here, doesn't produce the result, and it reinforces this belief you have about yourself. So it's important as you set new goals, as you set new visions, that you also upgrade your identity simultaneously. You're in process of upgrading it, because that identity impacts the effort you make, right? Impacts the will you put towards it, and that will is reinforced by the lack of result. And so it becomes this self fulfilling prophecy. So your mind has this belief, it wants to prove to be true, and it starts to find references. So if you believe you're 75 degrees, it's gonna start finding legs to put under that table to make it immobile, so it can't move to prove you right. And so our identity equals our effort, and the challenge is that effort produces the result.

• 1:04:10Ed Mylett?

  And so, this identity has everything to do with the effort you make, which produces the result, which will reinforce the identity or the lack thereof. So it's critical that you upgrade identity with your new visions and goals. The next layer of this is, you need to stop what's no longer needed. In other words, there were behaviors and thoughts you've had in the past that were needed to produce the results you currently have. But you need to stop what's no longer needed. Maybe you're continuing a behavior in your life that's no longer needed. Maybe you're continuing a thought or a worry that at one time was needed, but no longer is. Maybe there's a stress or an anxiety or a belief you're holding true to be about yourself that maybe you needed at some point in your life,

• 1:04:54Ed Mylett?

  that you no longer need. It could be something to protect yourself from fear, to protect yourself from harm, or to serve you in getting through a certain circumstance. But if we're not conscious of dropping a thought or a behavior that's no longer needed, we take old thoughts, old behaviors... That serves an old version of ourself into trying to become the new version of ourselves. So ask yourself that question. What do I need to drop that's no longer needed? Is it a person? Is it a thought? Is it a behavior? Or is it an emotion? One of those things you probably are carrying with you from the past, that maybe you needed to get through a circumstance. Maybe you needed to get through a relationship, through a setback, through a failure, or just to produce the results you currently get.

• 1:05:38Ed Mylett?

  But that thought, that behavior, that emotion, that person is no longer needed for you to go to the next level of your identity, the next level of your performance, the next level of yourself. And then finally is this. If you're stuck, you're stuck in a story. That's where you're stuck. There's a story you're telling yourself that doesn't serve you anymore. And you have to evaluate what that story is. I'm serious. Right now if you say, "Ed, I'm kinda stuck where I am." Well, what you need to do is you need to alter your associations. You need to do something in a short window of time. No question about it. You definitely need to evaluate what is no longer needed and evaluate the story you're telling yourself. There's all kinds of stories we tell ourselves that don't serve us anymore. This is critical.

• 1:06:23Ed Mylett?

  Maybe it's a story about your past, a story about your parents, a story about a previous relationship, a story about a success you used to have, you keep talking about, that doesn't serve you to get to the next level. If I can be real with you, whatever you've achieved up to this point, that story you keep talking about, every second you spend in that old story about what you've achieved, your degree, some business you had, one thing you were real successful at in the past. Every time you live in that story, you're stripping time and focus from the new story. What's the new story you're telling yourself? You can't have a new identity without a new story. What's the old story you keep repeating? Maybe it's not a success. Maybe it's a failure that you've had. It was a business setback. It was the market turned. It was the economy. It was someone who did you wrong.

• 1:07:07Ed Mylett?

  A relationship that let you down. A business partner who wasn't consistent. A failure you've had. A poor decision you made. A mistake you made. In your life, and you're repeating this story to yourself simultaneously trying to create a new identity. You can't take that old story into the new identity. One of the things we have to do to create a new identity is to begin to tell a new story. What's your new story? Who are you now? What are you all about now? Where are you going now? What's this new version of you? See, here's what's amazing. At any point in your life, you can just decide to write a new script. You could decide to become a whole new character. See, the leading character in the story of your life is you. And guess what? You and God control the script.

• 1:07:52Ed Mylett?

  You could write a new script at any time you want. Listen to me. At any time you want, you can simply decide to be a new character. I'm strong now. I'm beautiful now. I'm handsome now. I'm bold now. I'm funny now. I'm smart now. I'm going there now. Stop telling the old story. Here's the truth. Nobody cares. No one cares if you had a failure. No one cares if you've had a setback. No one cares if you had a victory. And none of those failures, none of those setbacks, none of those victories, and that old character you keep playing is the very thing that will prevent you from becoming this new version of you. It's a story if you're stuck. It's an old story you're telling with an old character that was last year's version,

• 1:08:37Ed Mylett?

  last decade's version. Who's the new character? What's the new script? What's the new story? I must tell you, I have a lot of weaknesses. A lot of things I do that don't serve me. But this identity thing, I get this. It's the key. Now, there's a lot of little mini things in life that matter. There's never one thing. If you said, "What's the key?" I can tell you, it's my addiction and my obsession to working on my identity. It's the thought of mine that dominates most of my thinking. That's number one. So I'm conscious of the concept. That's huge. Just being aware of the concept will put you light years ahead of 99.9% of the... Just awareness of the power of identity. Just now, you knowing about the thermostat puts you in the 0.1%

• 1:09:22Ed Mylett?

  of all the people on the spinning earth right now. I'm really focused on is always adding people to my life in the areas that matter to me that live at higher temperatures than me. The second thing is I'm constantly doing things in short bursts of time to change the water line. I'm also super obsessed with dropping what's no longer needed. There were certain things I needed to think and do and say, or people I needed to be around, emotions I needed to have, that got me to the place I'm currently at. I'm evaluating all the time, what is no longer needed? What emotion, what anxiety, what thought, what belief, what person, what behavior is no longer needed in my life? And then lastly, I never tell the old story.

• 1:10:07Ed Mylett?

  I don't like telling the old story. I'm constantly trying to write the new script, become the new character in my life. And it could just be the new emotions. It could be the new beliefs I have. It could be the new story, the new place I'm moving. But I'm constantly retelling a new story all the time. I'm constantly obsessed with writing the next chapter of my life, not reading the previous ones. The happiest and most fulfilled people don't read the past chapters of their life, whether they're good or bad. They are writing new ones all the time. These are the keys of changing the internal thermostat of our lives, and ultimately are the keys of changing the external circumstances of our lives. I know today helped you.

• 1:10:50Speaker 01

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• 1:11:19Speaker 02

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• 1:11:46Ed Mylett?

  Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Here's the thing, if you're feeling helpless, one of the anecdotes to feeling helpless is to get more helpful. And one of the ways you can be most helpful is to raise your own identity. Our identity is the core part of our lives. We're not going to outperform our identity. Our identity, best said is, it's the thoughts, concepts, and beliefs we hold to be the most true about ourselves. It's really the invisible force in all of our lives that holds us back or can accelerate our success, our bliss, our achievements to whole new levels. If you look at identity, if you think about it, it's almost like it's a life thermostat. See, in this room right now, there's a thermostat sitting on that wall right now.

• 1:12:31Ed Mylett?

  And if it's set at 75 degrees, this room is going to be regulated to 75 degrees. No matter what the external conditions are, it could be 100 degrees outside. The external factors do not impact the internal thermostat in this room. It's 75 degrees. Consequently, also, if it was 40 degrees outside, the heater will come on. It'll heat this room to 75 degrees. That's how your identity works. It's the internal thermostat of your life. And that's why very often, let's say that, you know, relationships or financially, you're a 75 degreeer. And if you ever notice in your life, as you start to heat life up a little bit, it starts to go pretty well, maybe your relationship's blissful and loving and incredible, or financially, you've increased your results. You're at 80, 85, 90, 100 degrees of success financially or in business.

• 1:13:15Ed Mylett?

  And then it just seems coincidental, but somehow, some way... The air conditioner kicks on in our lives. You know, a car breaks down, an event happens, we lose an account, something takes place, and all of a sudden, we look up and boom, life's back at 75 degrees of relationship, of money, of business. That wasn't by coincidence. It is the regulator of your life is your identity. And so, if you can do all the right things, all the activities, all of the thinking, all of the execution part, but if you don't increase what you believe you're worth, if you don't increase that identity, that thermostat of your life, you will find a way to cool your life back down to what you believe you deserve. And so, one of the keys for me in my life is not just getting better at the mindset of life and the execution of business or strategy,

• 1:13:58Ed Mylett?

  but raising that identity so that I'm at 85, 90, 100, 120 degrees, so that I believe I'm worthy of, as my execution and my thinking reaches the same level, that thermostat setting, that life setting will change. It's not the external conditions of our life that dictate the terms. It's that identity, it's that thermostat setting. So, we gotta get more helpful if we feel helpless, and the way we do that is by increasing our own identity, that thermostat setting. That sounds great, doesn't it? So, how do you do that? Well, I call it the holy trilogy of shifting one's identity, and that is faith, intention, and association. That's the three things you must work on in order to increase your thermostat setting. Number one, faith.

• 1:14:40Ed Mylett?

  For me, it's the center part of my life, is that I have a God who loves me, that believes in me, that wants to see me successful, wants to see me prosper, wants to have favor in my life, wants me to feel comfort and peace. And so, I find oftentimes it's interesting, people of faith sometimes, God's in their life Sunday at church when they're worshiping, or they're in Bible study, or when they're eating a meal, they'll pray over it. But somehow, when they walk into a business meeting, a speech, a boardroom, a client environment, they leave God at the door and they think they're on their own. So, for me, if you're a person of faith and God is with you all the time, and He loves you all the time, and He comforts you all the time, that includes business, that includes every area of your life. It includes Him wanting to bless you with a great relationship,

• 1:15:22Ed Mylett?

  bless you financially, bless you to the best of your abilities in business, and then whatever the other. If you're an athlete watching this, bless you in that at back. Over that pot, catching that football, hitting that shot. And so number one source of shifting your thermostat setting is reconnecting again with your faith and allowing yourself to feel it inside all the other environments that exist. Then there's number two, there's your intentions. See, I don't think enough people give themselves credit for having great intention. There's a power to intention in our lives. And so what most of us think is, I'll feel better about myself, or I'll be more confident when, when I get that job, when I get that relationship, when I get this amount of money, when I get that house, when I hit that home run, when I'm hitting a certain average, right? And so you're always chasing your tail.

• 1:16:05Ed Mylett?

  If your identity and your confidence is contingent upon producing a result that has not yet existed, it's pretty difficult to catch it, isn't it, if you have to have it to get it in the first place? Instead of saying, maybe I ought to get credit and I ought to be worthy of more because I intend to do well. As a young man in business, I started to figure out, you know, I, I may not have all the answers, I may not be the smartest, the best looking, the most articulate, my IQ isn't 250, but I intend to serve. I intend to make a difference. I make mistakes, but overall, I'm a good person who wants to do good in the world and I should be favored because of that. Not enough of you are giving yourself credit for your intentions. You want to shift your identity overnight, connect with your faith.

• 1:16:48Ed Mylett?

  You want to double shift it, connect with your intentions. So when I go into a business meeting, or I go into a lunch, or I'm going into any type of encounter, even in my golf life, in my sport I play, I remind myself that I've got a God who loves me, who wants me to win, who wants me to be blessed, who wants me to be favored, who wants me to feel peace. Number two, I intend to do good. I'm a decent human being. And you know what? Good things ought to happen to good people. And then third is association. You are who you hang around. See, if you're a 85 degree or 75 degree or financially, but you start hanging around someone, say like myself, who lives at 140, 150 degrees of finances and wealth and abundance, you will get heated up by proximity to somewhere in between the two of us and a lot closer to where I am than where you are. Same thing in relationships.

• 1:17:33Ed Mylett?

  If you want to have a great loving relationship in your life, but you're living at 75 degrees in your relationships, you start Hanging around people who are in loving, beautiful relationships, your thermostat setting will increase. Same within your faith life. If you want to start walking with more faith in your 75 degrees of faith, if you start hanging around people who walk their faith life at 100, 150 degrees, you'll be heated up through proximity. And so, these are the three things we do in order to shift our lives. Our identity is the governor on our life. It is the most powerful force in the world. It's the invisible force that governs everything is that thermostat setting. And then if that's true, the way we shift it is always going to be our faith, our intentions, and our associations. And those associations are so huge. I know you've all heard, you're the product of who you hang around the most often.

• 1:18:17Ed Mylett?

  But look at the last 90 days of your life. Okay, and ask yourself this question. Other than, say, your spouse or children, who are the two or three, four people you've spent the most time with? Picture their faces and their lives right now. And then I want you to measure one thing. What's their emotional maturity like? See, what I find with all successful people is they have a degree of emotional maturity that other people are absent of. So I always measure, what's their emotional maturity? How do they handle success? How do they handle failure? How do they handle their lives? Then ask yourself this. These three or four people you've been around, can you immediately name two or three things that they have in their life in an area that matters to you? Let's say it's money. Let's just say it was money. That they have that you don't have, that you wish you did have? Or in relationships?

• 1:19:02Ed Mylett?

  Can you name two or three things in their relationships that they have that you wish you had? Or in business? Or in their physical body? And if you can't immediately go, "Yeah, they got two, three, four things, man. I would love to have that in my life." Then I'm not so sure that that's the person you want to spend the most time with. The reverse question is also, hey, can you name two or three things they have that you definitely don't want? When you look at their financial life, if finances are important to you, do they have two or three things going on in their life financially you definitely want no part of? Or in their relationship life? You know, if you want a better relationship, if you look at their relationship, there are two or three things like, "I wouldn't want that relationship. I don't like the way he or she treats them." Or they get treated. You can look at that. Or their physical body. You want to be in really great shape. You look at them. Do they have two or three things about their health or wellness that you don't think are really great?

• 1:19:47Ed Mylett?

  Well, that's an immediate sign. They're the wrong people. And so taking an evaluation of who your associations are. Are they emotionally mature? Do they have the two or three things you would like to have in your life? They have in theirs that you'd like to get heated up and get? Or do they have two or three things you want to avoid? These are signs that you should be away from them. So the way we get more helpful is we increase our identity. And we increase our identity by working on our faith, our intention and our associations. If you do those three things, I believe you're going to live happier. You're going to help other people become happier. You're going to make a contribution in people's lives that's deeper and more meaningful than you've ever made before. And by the way, lastly, that's what you were put here to do. You were put here, you were born to do something great with your life in small ways and big ways. You were made to do something awesome with your life.

• 1:20:32Ed Mylett?

  Maybe not all of it's going to get limelight or notoriety, but you were born to make a difference in the world. And the more you realize that, the more you step into your intention, the more you step into the person you're capable of becoming, the more you just decide, I'm raising that thermostat setting. I'm no longer this other character I was playing. At any point, you and God are the authors of your life. You can grab the pen and start to write a new chapter and say, I'm stepping into this new character. Their identity's higher, they're more faithful, they're focused on their intentions more often, they improve their associations and they help people. Well, I hope I'm doing that for you.