11 Habits That Will Instantly Transform Your Life EP 1449

The Summit of Greatness is back! Buy your tickets today – summitofgreatness.comIf you’re ready to jump into a happier state of being, learn how to find a vision for your life, cultivate healthier relationships, and so much more, then I know you’ll love this episode. Finding happiness doesn’t come easily for everyone, but the good news is that it truly is possible to create from scratch. In this special solo episode of The School of Greatness, I’m going to share with you the 11 habits that have taken me from being depressed, broke, and down on myself to living a happy, healthy, fulfilled life. If you apply all or some of these changes to your own daily routines, I know you can experience the same life-changing results. In this episode you will learn,How to create a vision for your life. How to have a positive attitude when everything is going wrong. How to create healthy relationships. The importance of physical and mental health. How to take responsibility for your life. For more information go to www.lewishowes.com/1449 Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Lewis Howes?

  Calling all conscious achievers who are seeking more community and connection. I've got an invitation for you. Join me at this year's Summit of Greatness this September 7th through 9th in my hometown of Columbus, Ohio to unleash your true greatness. This is the one time a year that I gather the greatness community together in person for a powerful transformative weekend. People come from all over the world and you can expect to hear from inspiring speakers like Inky Johnson, Josprey Singh, Vanessa Van Edwards, Jen Sincero, and many more. You'll also be able to dance your heart out to live music, get your body moving with group workouts, and connect with others at our evening socials.

• 0:44Lewis Howes?

  So if you're ready to learn, heal, and grow alongside other incredible individuals in the greatness community, then you can learn more at lewishouse.com/summit2023. Make sure to grab your ticket, invite your friends, and I'll see you there. And when we appreciate everything that we already have, not focusing on all the things that we don't have, but appreciate the things we already have, it puts us in a mindset of abundance rather than scarcity. And this is huge because gratitude drowns out negativity and it brings positivity into our lives. It puts us into perspective in the moment of what is meaningful, what we have created, what we have for people in our life right now. Welcome to the School of Greatness.

• 1:28Lewis Howes?

  My name is Lewis Howes, former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 1:49Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to today's special episode. Over the last 1,300 plus episodes, there have been so many impactful interviews that I've been lucky enough to have, and I always like to reflect on some of the most powerful. And this episode was one that resonated with most of you guys in the past, and I'm excited for the value it's going to bring you today as well. So I hope you enjoy today's episode.

• 2:12Lewis Howes?

  I want to talk about the 11 habits to change your life. And these are really the habits to help you increase your happiness. Now, some people like to wait and see if happiness will ever just happen to them. Maybe one day they'll wake up and suddenly be happy and everything will be fantastic. But unfortunately, that's not just how life works. And we all know it doesn't work like that. In order to be happy, we must first have to be intentional about creating a better lifestyle. And that starts with habits. So today I want to go over the 11 habits that have transformed my life that I believe will help you build a happier, healthier, more loving life for yourself as well. And habit number one is to create a vision and life fulfilling goals.

• 2:56Lewis Howes?

  Now, this is something that I talk about in my book. It's one of the first principles in the School of Greatness is really creating a clear intentional vision. And without a clear vision, you'll end up running in multiple different directions instead of staying focused on what truly matters in your life, your relationships, your health and your business. And this can lead to your success being delayed a lot longer than it needs to be. And so you really want to get clear and intentional. And you can have a different vision at every different stage of your life. When you're 10 years old or when you're 50 years old. But it's important to have a clear vision. Without that, you'll just be kind of wandering around. And when we're wandering, we feel aimless. And when we feel aimless, we feel like, what's the point? What's the purpose? What's the intention for me being here?

• 3:40Lewis Howes?

  And that causes a lot of stress and anxiety when we have those thoughts. So in my life, when I wasn't clear on my vision, I was really running around and stressed out a lot. I was like, what should I be doing? I don't know. I don't feel good enough. I don't feel worthy. I don't feel like I matter. And those thoughts really don't help me improve the quality of my life. And a question someone had asked me is, what was your life like when you didn't have a clear vision versus when you created one for the School of Greatness? And for me, I remember different moments in my life. It was mostly in transition when one goal was finished, when one dream had ended, whether it be, you know, a sports dreams or business ended. It's kind of like the transition period where I was like, well, what do I do next? And it's that discovery phase of the transition where you get to get clear.

• 4:24Lewis Howes?

  Start doing the things that you really love. Do the hobbies, hang out with people you love to spend time with, travel. Do the things you've always wanted to do and do them to the best of your ability. When you do that, you'll start to spark ideas. Things will start to come to you naturally. And that's what I really did in between transitioning before the School of Greatness into the School of Greatness. I was living my life. I was playing sports. I was being active with friends. And that process, I remember going through transition thinking, you know, I wish there was more tools when I was growing up that would help me overcome the different challenges that I would face with my life. I wish there was a school of greatness that could teach me about all these different things. And that was the spark in the transition from one business to the next on why I created the School of Greatness.

• 5:07Lewis Howes?

  And the mission now is to serve 100 million lives weekly to help them improve the quality of their life. And we do that through a lot of the things that we do in the School of Greatness. But I'm very clear on the vision and on the mission. It's very intentional. I wake up every day thinking about it and I act based on vision. Without that vision, I would act based on, well, what am I supposed to do? I'm not sure. I don't feel good about myself. I have no direction. And again, when we have no direction, we're just kind of wandering around in a circle. And that doesn't help us move forward. It doesn't help us grow. So have a clear vision. I don't care if the vision is for one month or for 20 years. Have something you're working towards that will help increase the happiness and the quality of your life.

• 5:50Lewis Howes?

  Habit number two, this is something I learned in sports early on, is to have a positive attitude when things go bad. Now, the world is filled with a lot of different negativity, drama, stress. And sometimes it's hard not to fall victim to joining in on the negativity. This is one of the reasons why my father, growing up, would not let us watch the news. He would not let us watch commercials that talked about a lot of harmful things or the news because he didn't want us to be susceptible to hearing about things that maybe are happening in a micro level that are blown out of proportion, that seem like it's happening all over the world, but is really only Happening in a small level.

• 6:32Lewis Howes?

  He didn't want us to emphasize on all this negative energy and this negative attitude. So he eliminated those thoughts from our mind to support us in the positive. In sports as well, I would also have coaches that, you know, things wouldn't always go our way. And I used to be so negative. I used to be so reactive. When I missed a shot, when I dropped the ball, when I messed up, when something that I did was wrong or was a mistake. I used to beat myself up so much or when we'd lose, I was such a sore loser and such have a bad negative attitude. And our coaches over the years would really teach me like, that isn't helping you. That isn't supporting you or your teammates around you. But having a positive attitude, when things go wrong, will lift your teammates up, will lift you up to help you improve

• 7:15Lewis Howes?

  for the next play in the next moment. It's really all about having that positive attitude. Because the negative doesn't usually serve us for anything ever. There are times absolutely to speak up and be a stand for when bad things are happening to you or happening to other people or around you. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about that specific moment in time. I'm talking about spending hours of your day thinking about yourself negatively and thinking about the world negatively around you, just ruminating on how negative everything is. That prevents you from showing up as the best version of yourself. And I believe you're robbing yourself and your loved ones and the world of your gifts and who you truly are when you sit in that negative state.

• 8:00Lewis Howes?

  So when I began to shift into having a positive attitude, it really helped me in every area of my life. And negative things or things that I don't like happen around me all the time. But it's a practice even today. And when I'm hit with these adversities or these obstacles, I try to ask myself, how could it possibly serve me in the future? Or if it's worth putting so much energy into it around a negative attitude? Is it really worth it? Is it helping me in my health? Is it helping me in my joy and my love for others and my love for myself by holding on to this negative energy? It's usually not worth the energy. So why do we do it so frequently? You know, there's this book called Don't Sweat the Small Stuff. Because it's all small stuff.

• 8:43Lewis Howes?

  You know, obviously, there is adversity and there's challenges, but when you can have the attitude around it, it really shifts your life and the people around you. So you've got to do the work to develop that awareness, to realize that for yourself. This isn't easy. This took me a long time. And having a positive attitude is, in my opinion, one of the most important things to manifesting, to attracting, to feeling better about yourself. But one thing that I've learned from the different guests and the experts on the show in the last few years is that what's most important is getting to the root of what's causing you the stress, the pain, the anxiety, the negative feelings that you're having. Because positive affirmations can only get you so far if you're not also doing the deep work on what's really going on,

• 9:28Lewis Howes?

  what's underneath the trigger, the anxiety, the fear. Dr. Caroline Leaf has been on the show a couple of times. I really love her message and her expertise. She said, "It's like putting a Band-Aid on a bullet wound when you're just trying to have a positive affirmation without actually going to the root cause of what that trigger and negativity is." But if you're able to get to the roots of some of the things causing you so much pain and suffering, and the negative attitude that you have, and then begin working to stay positive and having an abundance mindset, that's when you can really start to create real change and start to see and notice the feelings of positivity, notice the feelings of happiness flood into your heart, into your body, into your soul.

• 10:12Lewis Howes?

  And that's what this is all about. So habit number three is an important one. It's all about giving back. Volunteering your time, helping others, mentoring, coaching, being of service in any way possible that you can. And you might have heard me share this before, but if you're going to be addicted to anything in life, be addicted to service. I believe it's, you know, not addicted in the negative sense, but if you're going to be committed to doing something and living an intentional practice, be intentional on the act of serving other people. And in whatever way that works for you, whatever you have to do, do that for you. It's been my mission since the beginning of this show, and every single day I aim to show up and give back to you, to people watching, to people listening.

• 10:58Lewis Howes?

  My friends and family, my team members, and anyone possible that I can. And it's, and it's very important for me. And it also brings me a lot of joy when I can know that something I did caused a positive impact on someone else's life. Whether it be a piece of content, someone I interviewed, something they said, something I said, a way we put it out there that connected with people. That brings me so much joy. It brings me so much happiness knowing that my life has had meaning on one person's life. And it continues to feed and fuel my fulfillment and my soul every day. And that's why I continue to be committed to habit number one, which is the vision and staying true to that vision.

• 11:41Lewis Howes?

  And in a New York Times article by Tara Parker Pope, she wrote that several studies suggest that supporting others helps buffer our bodies against the detrimental effects of stress. And a five-year study of 846 people in Detroit found that stressful life events appeared to take a greater toll on people who were less helpful to others. While helping others seemed to erase the detrimental physical effects of stressful experiences. Now for me, that is crazy to think that those who were more self-centered, who weren't focusing outward and trying to help other people, those that were only thinking about themselves, not helping others,

• 12:26Lewis Howes?

  had more physical pain and ailments based on the stressful environment. Whereas those who were focusing out, that started to go away. And for me, that says something about how service is truly important in our lives. Habit number four is a big one, something I do all the time is to express gratitude and appreciation. This may seem like so basic. This may seem like the dumbest thing because it's so simple, but it will transform and change your life. And when we appreciate everything that we already have, not focusing on all the things that we don't have, but appreciate the things we already have, it puts us in a mindset of abundance rather than scarcity. And this is huge because gratitude drowns out nature. Negativity and it brings positivity into our lives.

• 13:10Lewis Howes?

  It puts us into perspective in the moment of what is meaningful, what we have created, what we have, the people in our life right now. And we can channel that positive energy into everything we're doing and we can shift that positive energy into our vision and our mission. And I can't speak for everyone, but gratitude has been life-changing for me. It's something again that I do every day. It's non-negotiable when I wake up. It's on my voicemail and someone calls me, I say, tell me what you're grateful for and I'll get back to you. In our team meetings, we talk about it when we start a meeting, what are you grateful for today? It's just something when I go to bed at night, I express three things I'm grateful for. All these things help me continue to stay in the present moment, not focused on the past of what I did

• 13:55Lewis Howes?

  or how mistakes I made, not worry about the future, but really be present. And that's the key to being happy is focusing on what you have right now and the people in your life. And many other psychologists that I've interviewed on this show tell me that gratitude is proven to create a happier life. This isn't just some fluffy woo-woo, you know, personal development thing. This is now science. It's been researched, it's been studied and proven that gratitude decreases depression, increases happiness in people's lives. So don't let gratitude be something you just do from time to time or once in a while or on a holiday or Thanksgiving. You need to find time and place to do it every single day.

• 14:37Lewis Howes?

  The more you do it, the more frequently you do it, the happier, healthier, more fulfilled you will be. And it'll put your life in perspective. It'll get you out of the things you don't have and focus on things you do have. The simplest way to do that is just to add gratitude to the start of something you're already doing. We talked about this, what will I do? We do it before team meetings. You could do it while you're making coffee, you could do it right before you eat every meal. You could do it when you wake up, when you go to bed, whatever you're about to start something, have a moment, it could be five seconds, I'm grateful for this moment, I'm grateful for this thing, I'm grateful I have this. And really be intentional on that. Spend a few minutes and use that time wisely to express gratitude.

• 15:18Lewis Howes?

  For me, again, I wake every morning and I express the things that I'm grateful for. I really just wake up and say, thank you. Thank you for another day. Thank you for my health. Thank you for the people in my life. Thank you for the challenging times that have helped me grow and improve myself. I try to say thank you for it all. And that really supports me in the day. And you'll be able to love deeper. You'll create more light for other people. And you'll appreciate the little things around you more than ever. I'm telling you, a ritual of gratitude will change your life. It's again, it's it seems so basic. It might seem like so. You know, this is not some crazy life hack or some thing, some app or something that's going to switch something on in your brain.

• 16:00Lewis Howes?

  This is just going back to the basics to help you improve your happiness. Habit number five is to create healthy relationships with boundaries. I didn't know what a boundary was until really a few years ago in in certain areas of my life. And personal boundaries are essential in healthy relationships because they provide the foundation for your expectations, behavior, and how you communicate with others. Sometimes setting the limits can be challenging and difficult, especially if you want everyone to be happy around you. Now raise your hands if you are a recovering people pleaser like me and you want everyone to like you. You want to be, you want everyone to be happy around you. You want everyone to, you don't want anyone to ever be mad at you for anything.

• 16:43Lewis Howes?

  That's been me pretty much my entire life up until recently when I created, when I learned how to create healthy boundaries and know that I'm going to disappoint people. But the most important person that I'm not going to disappoint is myself. And I was always abandoning myself to try to please others. And I was hurting myself in the process and you should never hurt yourself. You obviously don't want to hurt others, but you should never hurt yourself. And we often react differently when we don't get what we want. Or when what it is happening around us isn't what we expected. When that expectation kind of hangover happens to us, results in frustration or hurt feelings. I know, I know the feeling. You expect someone to say something or do something, they don't do it. You get let down, it hurts. That's why communication is so important.

• 17:29Lewis Howes?

  And whether it's an intimate relationship, a family member, a business relationship, when the boundaries we have set are not met, we feel violated or for myself, I felt abused, taken advantage of and all these different things. And that doesn't feel good. I understand those feelings, they don't feel good. So when you create a standard, create a boundary, you've got to communicate and talk about your expectations in that communication process. Sometimes this can be extremely challenging and difficult conversations, especially if you've never done it in the past. And oftentimes, boundaries are not discussed, and that can cause bitterness and resentment. And if you take the proactive approach by discussing boundaries with your partner, you can avoid a lot of that pain and stress and disaster.

• 18:13Lewis Howes?

  So I highly encourage you to be willing to be uncomfortable in those boundary conversations. And I loved this moment that I had when I interviewed Nedra Tawab. And she said, she was, she's like the boundary expert. And she said, "When we think about boundaries, we think about them as something with someone else. But a boundary could be a morning routine. A boundary could be having some quiet time after lunch. It's not just all these things that we need other people to do. It's also what we need to do with ourselves." And I think it's so important for us to reflect on, what are the boundaries we're keeping with ourselves? Not about significant others, or family, or friends. What are the boundaries of integrity you're keeping with yourself?

• 18:58Lewis Howes?

  So think about that for yourself and the boundaries you want to set in the specific relationships in your life. And really, are any of them being crossed already? What are the places in your life where you feel like boundaries are already being crossed? Make a list, write these down. And are you not respecting the boundaries yourself? Are you crossing boundaries that you shouldn't be crossing with someone else in your life? It's a difficult thing to do, especially if you've never really thought about them. But when I began setting boundaries in my life, as well as started to hear about the importance of them from different therapists and psychologists that we've interviewed on the show, it made a huge difference in my emotional, mental, physical well-being as well. Because really, when you think about boundaries, you know, when an emotional, mental, spiritual boundary feels crossed,

• 19:43Lewis Howes?

  you almost feel it in your body. I know I did. I would feel tightness, tension. I would have like eczema flare-ups when a boundary was crossed, and I didn't know how to handle it. And you feel, you feel the boundary being crossed emotionally and physically manifests. So this will continue to help you. Be happier and physically healthier when you create boundaries, which leads me into habit number six, which is to take care of your physical health. Work out, eat clean, physical and mental health. The emotional and mental stress can can really lean into the physical damage if we don't have a clean, healthy relationship with the mental and emotional side of ourselves, creating boundaries and all that other stuff.

• 20:25Lewis Howes?

  But taking care of your body consistently, moving your body, exercising is so important for your overall physical and mental health. We've had so many different experts come on and talk about the research and the science of how physical movement increases happiness, increases dopamine, makes you feel more confident, all these things. Being stagnant for two weeks and not moving your body will make you feel less and less confident, make you feel weak, and all those different feelings will create stress and anxiety in your life. When you don't exercise, you're not giving your body the clarity it needs. It's not cleansing itself, it's not moving, and you've got to move in order to get you closer towards your desired goals as well. So you've got to think about these things. What does your body need?

• 21:09Lewis Howes?

  It's it's something that I've started talking about more and more as I've started to integrate this more and more in my life. And I started taking boxing lessons a couple of times a week, six months ago, and that's transformed my physical and mental health. You might have to reassess, like, are the physical activities I'm doing right now supporting me? Or do I need to mix it up? Do I need to try something new? Do I need a new challenge? That's what I did with boxing. I've been able to lift and run and and play sports my whole life, but I felt like I needed something to shift me physically, and boxing was something I'd never done, something that was challenging. It's mental, it's emotional and physical, and it's one of the hardest workouts I've ever done. So I go early in the morning, and I do that because that's been huge for me

• 21:54Lewis Howes?

  because it means I can take care of the most important and often the hardest things first, which set up the rest of my day for success. And when I finish a workout early in the morning, And I realized, wow, there's still a lot of people that are asleep, who haven't gotten up, who haven't done anything. And I'm finishing one of the hardest things of the day for me that brings me joy, that makes me a better human, that makes me feel more confident, makes me feel happier, that detoxes things that I need to let go of. When I do that, I feel like, wow, what's next? What is there that I need to do? I can do anything. Bring it to me. I will take on the world today. And when you start the day with that momentum, it'll really support you with your overall happiness. Now, if you're not often physically active,

• 22:36Lewis Howes?

  don't overwhelm yourself and say, I'm gonna do two hours a day of activity, and I'm gonna go crazy here, and I'm gonna sign up for all these classes, because you'll burn out quick, or you'll hurt yourself. You could start as small as just going for a 10, 20 minute walk around the block five days a week, and really get started. Just get yourself moving on the process of consistency. And even if you're making small progress, that progress is signaling your brain of the changes that you are wanting to make. And again, five, 10, 20 minutes a day will eventually be 30 and 60 minutes a day, and it'll continue to build and compound over time. So don't overwhelm yourself by thinking you have to go extremely crazy right off the bat, and I'm gonna eat perfect seven days a week, I'm gonna train like a machine, and I'm gonna get 12 hours of sleep,

• 23:20Lewis Howes?

  and all these things, you're probably not gonna be able to sustain that within two weeks. But getting started and being consistent is the key. So anything is better than nothing when it comes to moving your body. And the next thing is really to focus on your diet. I know when I'm not eating clean consistently, I kind of take the 80/20 approach for nutrition and food. 80% of the time, I try to eat as clean and healthy and organic as possible. 20% of the time, I'm traveling, the weekends, I have more sugar and desserts and things that I know aren't the best for fuel for my body, but they taste good and I give myself that balance. And you can work out all you want, but you can't Outwork your mouth, that's for sure. You cannot outwork your mouth.

• 24:07Lewis Howes?

  You can train for an hour and then if you're having all this cakes and cookies, it's not going to do anything for you. You're actually not doing any favors for yourself. You might be maintaining, but you're not really improving. And our guests all the time talk about eating things like, I've asked so many different scientists, doctors and nutritionists about the top foods you should be eating and they all consistently say, blueberries, foods that are high in omega-3 fatty acids like salmon and walnuts and avocado oil, dark chocolate, the list goes on and on from there, leafy greens, all that stuff. But eating more of those things, adding more of those things into your body will support you. And you don't want to put in so much effort in your workout routine

• 24:50Lewis Howes?

  and then just go have alcohol and sugar and pizza every night. That's not going to really support your growth. You can have cheat meals in moderation, or you can just call it balanced meals in moderation, if you don't want to call it cheat meals. I do the balanced 80/20 kind of percent rule. And having a clean diet, but having a clean diet will not only serve you physically in your health, but also in your mental health. Because we've talked about so many different experts who have come on and share that the foods that actually increase your mental health and affect your mood. We've had a lot of these different doctors and nutritionists come on and talk about that. And when you're eating poorly, it can increase the feelings of depression, anxiety and stress.

• 25:32Lewis Howes?

  And I believe we're starting to really understand more about how much our diet really affects us. How much food really can either hurt us or heal us. So for your future self, it's best if you focus not only on putting your body through the workouts, but also giving your body the cleanest foods possible to eat. Which brings me to habit number seven, the power of breathing. This is something that I really started to practice in sports.

• 26:01Lewis Howes?

  But didn't start to really learn how to, I wouldn't say I call myself a master at this, but it really didn't start to learn how to master breathing until five years ago, when I went to India to study for two weeks meditation and then becoming a meditation instructor. And then from there, meeting with Wim Hof and doing the Wim Hof breathing techniques, then interviewing James Nestor, talking about breathing. Andrew Huberman, the famous neuroscientist from Stanford, who talks about breathing in the brain and how it connects to the brain and the body connection. And really, the deeper I've gone down this rabbit hole of learning about the mastery of breathing and applying it to myself,

• 26:44Lewis Howes?

  I've noticed incredible results. And it's like I'm noticing it quicker and quicker. So it's been really helping me improve my peace, improve my mental health, improve my mood, just with breathing. And that is a powerful tool. You don't need anything. You don't need to buy anything. You don't need to eat anything. You don't need to do anything different. In a few moments, you can change the way you feel through your breath. And breathing is the number one way to give your mind a reset and to get you back into a balanced, peaceful state. When you're nervous, stressed out, feeling overwhelmed, or catching yourself overthinking something

• 27:29Lewis Howes?

  or overanalyzing, breathing exercises can help you get back to calm and control. And that's what this is all about. The power of breath is that it lets you steer your energy. It lets you get back on to habit number one, your vision, as opposed to being distracted, stressed and overwhelmed. And I did this as an athlete. I would do this going up for big moments in a game in football. Breathe slowly. You know, I had different sports psychologists come on and talk about how in practice, you want to actually get yourself up and practice like it's a game. And when you're in a game time situation, you want to slow down because you have so much adrenaline. You want to calm and slow down. So I do that as an athlete. Before I get on stage,

• 28:13Lewis Howes?

  right before, I really tried to think about how do I slow it down? Because I know when the lights turn on, when the music gets on, I'm going to be hyped. I'm going to be pumped. But how do I slow down so I can communicate my message effectively? As opposed to being all anxious and excited about it? So I want to share three steps to properly help yourself incorporate breathing into your day today. Number one is to bring awareness to your breath. So really just think about it and bring awareness. And when we're breathing all the time, all day long, we're breathing, but we're rarely paying attention to it. We hardly really think about it. But when we think about it, by taking a moment to bring your awareness to your breath, just as it is, you can get out of your head and into the present moment.

• 28:58Lewis Howes?

  So when you're focused on breathing,

• 29:03Lewis Howes?

  and that's all you focus on,

• 29:07Lewis Howes?

  and see how it feels in your body, see how it feels in your mind and your heart, and see how it's naturally calming your heart rate. You can actually feel your heart rate go down. And you put your attention on that activity for 60 seconds. You can eliminate other distractions by putting attention on that and get back into a rhythm that will help you in that moment. And this habit is great for when you catch yourself over-analyzing things. Stressed, anxious, worried, uncertain about the future. Just turn your focus back to your breath and temporarily let go of any other stress. The second part is to focus on and lengthen your exhale. This is something I learned in India when I went there five years ago.

• 29:50Lewis Howes?

  They take inhales through the nose, and whatever the time amount through the nose, they teach you to practice twice as long exhale out of the nose. So if you're taking an inhale for two counts in the nose,

• 30:06Lewis Howes?

  four counts out of the nose.

• 30:11Lewis Howes?

  And by repeating that process, it'll calm your heart rate. It'll calm your mind and get you back into a peaceful state. If you just repeat that process over and over again, or it could be four inhale and eight out, three inhale, six out. The exhale is just as important, if not more important than your inhale. So drawing out your exhale will slow your heart rate down and again, bring you into a calmer state of mind. And number three is to use a deliberate sigh. So Dr. Andrew Huberman, who is a neuroscientist from Stanford, who's been on the show a couple of times, showed me an exercise that involves breathing with a double intake and an extended exhale.

• 30:54Lewis Howes?

  So still the same extended exhale, but a double intake. And by doing this exercise for just two or three cycles can really help you calm down. And it also expands the oxygen level in your body as well. And I urge you to try it a few times during the day when you feel overwhelmed. I've been doing this a lot since he taught me. It's simply you breathe through the nose with a double inhale like this.

• 31:21Lewis Howes?

  So a double inhale.

• 31:27Lewis Howes?

  And twice a long exhale that way. By doing that a few times, it really opens up the oxygen level, calms you at the same time. So practice that a couple of times throughout the day. Have a number eight. This is huge. Again, this is no secret. This is no crazy hack. It's just sleep more. Sleep more. Recover. Your body is going through so much every single day, especially with in the last 20 years, with all the data and information we are consuming from our smartphones, from computers, we're getting so much data points every day. The body needs more rest. We're working harder. We're trying to be more productive. We're trying to squeeze the juice out of life more, whether it's play, work. Relationships, we're squeezing more juice out of life.

• 32:10Lewis Howes?

  And we need proper sleep to recover. And if we're staying up till 2:00 or 3:00 a.m. and feeling exhausted from the day and anxious about tomorrow, then we're gonna be in a sleep deficit. And we need to get back on track with our sleep. So here are a few ways to start getting better sleep. Number one, stick to a sleep schedule as often as you can. Now, this can be hard if you're traveling, I get it. But as often as you can, try to go to bed at the same time. Proper sleep recovers and refreshes your mind. So the next day can be stress-free. But it's important to say, okay, I'm gonna be in bed by 10:00 every night, or 11:00 every night, or whatever that time is for you. So you have a schedule, so you know you're gonna get these certain amount of hours you need. Number two, pay attention to your diet that day.

• 32:54Lewis Howes?

  Try not to have big, heavy meals before sleeping. And also try to limit your caffeine intake after, I would say, 10:00 a.m. to noon. You don't really wanna have caffeine after that. The research has shown it's gonna make it harder for you to go to sleep at night. So number three is creating a peaceful environment for your sleep is crucial. My friend Sean Stevenson talks about this in his book, Sleep Smarter, that you wanna create a sleep sanctuary. You wanna make sure that your bedroom, where you sleep, is a sanctuary for you to shut off and go to sleep. And that can be hard for some of us as we work from home. We sleep at home, we work, we've got a lot of activities happening in the same place. It's hard to really shut it off when you're used to picking up your phone in the morning, or being on your phone at night, watching TV in bed,

• 33:38Lewis Howes?

  or doing all these other things in your sleeping space. But you wanna create a sleep sanctuary. You wanna create a routine that helps you separate yourself from the other areas of your life, like taking a bath. It'll help you rest and recover better. So what is the routine? What is the sanctuary that you're gonna create? The environment of peaceful, restful sleep. It's one of the most important things you can do. And as an athlete, I used to sleep a ton. I knew the importance of sleep because your body would be so sore. We would take naps, we would sleep as much as we could. I used to sleep in as long as I could to get that quality sleep. As a business leader, when I'm traveling, I know now, I'm not 21 anymore. I know the importance of my sleep. Even if I get two or three hours less sleep than I'm used to,

• 34:23Lewis Howes?

  it will affect me, I'll need more caffeine. You know, there'd be other things you'll need to supplement. So it's important to know that if you are living a high-performance life, if you are trying to squeeze the juice out of life, if that's the season of life you're in right now, you've got to make sleep a huge priority for yourself. So you have the energy, the focus and the clarity to move towards your vision. Habit number nine, who, this is a big one. It's a big one because a lot of people don't like to do this. Is to take responsibility for yourself, for your actions, and keep yourself accountable. Now, it's easy to be the victim. It's easy to say, make excuses for yourself and say, well, I didn't want to do this. I wasn't feeling this, or this thing happened, or this circumstance happened. But you cannot negotiate your dreams and your goals.

• 35:08Lewis Howes?

  You cannot negotiate with your goals through circumstances or excuses. That will make you unhappy. It's up to you to take responsibility for your life. And you have to decide today that you're going to get in shape, that you're going to start that side hustle or that business, that you're going to take on a new hobby. Whatever it may be for you, you've got to decide. And only you can decide to take that first step. And then, most importantly, be consistent on those steps, day after day, week after week, year after year. But the next step that matters just as much is being held accountable for the goals in front of you. That is important. The accountability is so key. And you need to create a habit of checking in with someone

• 35:51Lewis Howes?

  on a daily or weekly basis that can hold you accountable and call you out if you're falling short. This is why we have our Greatness Coaching Program that high-performance leaders in our community are members of. They have joined, they have monthly accountability, they've got partners, they've got myself, they've got a coach, all these different things to help people stay accountable. An accountability partner could be a friend for you, could be a family member, could be a coworker, could be a coach that you hire, could just be someone you pay as an accountability person to check on you daily. Whatever it is for you, accountability is key. And the effects of accountability are strongest when you and your partner have similar goals. So you can grow together with them. It's huge when you guys have that common goal.

• 36:36Lewis Howes?

  Just having one accountability partner can do wonders for you. Just one person to hold you accountable, to give you checks and balances. But you can also consider surrounding yourself with a team, a community of people who inspire you and hold you accountable. I hire lots of coaches. Personally, I try to find the experts in every area of my life. Hire them to hold me accountable for what is important to me. Only what is important to me, I have them do. You know, if it's not important, and if it's not part of your vision, it's not part of your overall life plan, then you don't have to do it. But for me, what's important, I hire people, I have accountability in those areas of my life. Fitness, relationships, spirituality, business, mental health, financial health.

• 37:20Lewis Howes?

  I mean, I hire people in every category. And I understand, you may not be at a point right now where you can do that, where you can afford that. Uh, but find friends, find mentors, find people that can hold each other accountable. And if you want to improve your fitness, one of the best things you can do is surround yourself with fitness minded people. So if you're hanging out with people that are lazy and on the couch and aren't working out ever, then start spending more quality time with people that are getting up at, at 6 a.m. and doing uh, joint runs together. There's run groups in every city around the world. There's different things you can do to support you. So think about the accountability in your life, what's important to improve right now. Find those people to support you and move forward.

• 38:01Lewis Howes?

  Habit number 10, learn to cope with tragedy and let go of regret, anger, and resentment. Holding on to our past trauma is one of the most painful things we can do for ourselves. I am speaking for myself here that I held on to trauma and resentment and anger and frustration for 25 years, if not more, in different parts of my life. And that is a recipe for suffering, reaction, stress, painful moments, all these different things. So, you know, uh, the therapist who's been on who reminded me of this guy Winch, talks about, you know, the ruminating of our past wounds and holding on to these past wounds and how to heal the broken heart.

• 38:45Lewis Howes?

  We've got that episode that you can dive in more and so many different therapists have come on and talked about this. But I try to really look for the positives and what I can learn from these events and feelings and channel those feelings into growth as a person and really how can I serve others who might be going through something similar in that situation. I remember hearing a story from Tony Robbins, who said, you know, when I was a kid, my mom used to beat me, she used to pour uh, soap down my mouth because she thought I was lying. She used to do all these things that caused a lot of pain and trauma for me. But I loved my mother because she gave me the capacity, the expanded heart to want to help other people rid themselves from their suffering.

• 39:31Lewis Howes?

  So he used the painful moment not as resentment to hold on to, you know, being angry at his mom, but say, you know, I love my mom for this. You know, she didn't know any better in these times. She was doing her best. She was also loving in other ways. But those moments, I'm not going to hold on to them and suffer. I'm going to use them to end suffering for those around me. And I think that's really powerful. So really think about how you can let go of the emotional traumas. This might take some work for a lot of people. For me, it took a long time to really learn how to do that. It's one of the reasons why I started School of Greatness, because I wanted to interview these experts to teach me. But it's created so much freedom and peace in my life and happiness in the process. And habit number 11 is to eliminate things that don't make you happy and focus on what does make you happy.

• 40:16Lewis Howes?

  So I asked Matthew McConaughey this, and when I interviewed him, I said, you know, what are five things that we should be eliminating in our life? And he mentioned this list of these five things. Number one, we should be eliminating bad people. Eliminate people that don't promote your growth and that don't bring you joy. We often cling on to these toxic relationships or people because they validate us in the short term, but they're very harmful in the long term. So eliminate those people or at least distance yourself. You know, distance yourself and start spending more quality time with people that bring you joy. Number two, to eliminate is bad places. Stop going to places that encourage unhealthy lifestyle behaviors, like bars or fast food restaurants, et cetera. Again, don't go to these places if you know you don't feel good

• 41:01Lewis Howes?

  when you're there or afterwards. And if a certain place continually makes you feel bad, do whatever you can to eliminate or distance yourself or go there less. Our environment can really impact our mood in a big way. It's hard to not notice that. So create those environments for yourself that are healthier. Number three. You gotta eliminate the comparison to others. Stop comparing yourself to others and eliminate jealousy because, what is it, the quote, comparison is the thief of joy? I think Einstein said that, you know, when we're constantly, and comparing yourself to yourself, of where you think you should be or whatever. It's like, always in comparison mode is not gonna do anything good for your happiness. Number four, overthinking your failures.

• 41:45Lewis Howes?

  Instead of dissecting all your problems, start dissecting all your success, all the things you've done to overcome the challenges. And ask yourself, how can I replicate my successes? Rather than, how can I stop my failures? And number five to eliminate is instant gratification. This is a big one. Fight the cravings for instant pleasure and results. And be okay with delayed gratification. Knowing that you're gonna be doing the work consistently and your future self is gonna be grateful for your current self and the consistent effort you're putting in. You're gonna reap way bigger rewards in the future if you can delay that gratification. So, there you have it.

• 42:28Lewis Howes?

  These are the 11 healthy, happy habits to increase the overall joy of your life and set you up for a better life. If you can commit to implementing these in small ways over the next couple of months, I'd be curious about what would happen in your life. What do you think you could create in transforming your life just by implementing a few of these things consistently for a couple of months? Also, if you haven't picked up a copy of the book, The School of Greatness, this has more in-depth on the principles of greatness, the distinctions to help you improve the quality of your life, to reach greatness for your life. And it's all about living bigger, loving deeper, and leaving a legacy. So if you want more, you can check out the School of Greatness book. We'll have links below to help you further your education.

• 43:12Lewis Howes?

  I hope today's episode inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a rundown of today's show with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me as well as ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcast. If you enjoyed this, please share it with a friend over on social media or text a friend, leave us a review over on Apple Podcast and let me know what you learned over on our social media channels at Lewis Howes. I really love hearing the feedback from you and it helps us continue to make the show better. And if you want more inspiration from our world-class guests and content to learn how to improve the quality of your life, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness Newsletter

• 43:55Lewis Howes?

  and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com/newsletter. And if no one has told you today, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.