Exhausted From Being a People Pleaser? Use THIS 0–10 Rule to Say “No” Without Guilt

Do you say yes too often? When was the last time you said no? In this special live episode recorded at an iHeart event in New York City, Jay Shetty reflects on his journey from speaking to empty rooms to sharing ancient wisdom with millions around the world. He reveals how reframing adversity helps us face life’s “first arrows” without adding the extra pain of self-criticism, and the daily practices that keep him grounded through challenge. With powerful stories, from a Navy SEAL finding purpose through On Purpose while on deployment, to a young cheerleader who radiates joy despite paralysis, Jay shows how resilience and perspective can transform even our hardest moments into sources of strength and growth. Jay breaks down what it really means to make “wisdom go viral” and why presence, not time, is the key to deeper connection. He shares the courage it takes to say no to protect your energy, how to keep your soul at the center in an AI-driven world, and the creativity that unlocks when seeing life through childlike eyes. This episode is your reminder to slow down, live with purpose, and let curiosity lead you toward greater connection and fulfillment. In this conversation, you'll learn: How to Reframe Adversity How to Build Confidence from Hard Times How to Protect Your Energy in Service How to Say No Without Guilt How to Think With Childlike Creativity When we pause to reflect, reconnect with what truly matters, and choose to act with purpose, we not only uplift ourselves, we inspire others to do the same. Keep leaning into curiosity, resilience, and compassion, and you’ll find that the path ahead holds far more possibility than limitation. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here. Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 02:48 It Started with Small, Empty Rooms 04:41 How Do You Approach Adversity? 07:48 The Reservoir of Joy 13:15 Making Wisdom Go Viral 17:25 Why Audio Feels Intimate 21:09 Navigating the Age of AI 25:54 Breaking Free from People Pleasing 31:58 Learning to Adapt When Life Shifts 35:38 Unlocking Creativity with the 30 Circles Test See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Value can be found anywhere, even in the clothes sitting untouched in our closets. That's where Vinted comes in. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where you can sell clothes you no longer want and get more value out of them. Whether you're running out of space, moving, or simply updating your wardrobe. Listing items is a quick and simple process, and once something sells, Vinted creates a prepaid shipping label for you. And the best part, there are no seller fees, so you keep what you earn. It's a simple way to clear out your closet, be less wasteful, and maybe make some extra money along the way. And if you've been thinking about a wardrobe refresh, this can make it feel a little more worthwhile. You're not just letting go of clothes, you're getting more value from what you already have.

• 0:43Jay Shetty?

  Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees, so you keep every dollar you earn. This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop.

• 1:26Jay Shetty?

  AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet, AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements, and it's clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose.

• 2:01Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised to yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet,

• 2:45Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and is clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose. How amazing would it be? I've been so fortunate to learn about these traditions that are 5,000 years old. They're not my teachings, they're not my wisdom. It's wisdom that I've gained from my teachers and mentors. How amazing would it be if these went viral and everyone for free could have access to these tools and skills? What an amazing world we would live in. What if compassion could go viral?

• 3:30Jay Shetty?

  What if empathy could go viral? What if the ideas that bring people together could go viral? The number one health and wellness podcast.

• 3:38Speaker 01

  Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty. The one, the only Jay Shetty.

• 3:44Jay Shetty?

  So often, we rush through life chasing deadlines, juggling responsibilities, and trying to keep up with everything around us. But moments like these remind us to pause, to reflect, and to remember what truly matters: connection, compassion, and purpose. That's what makes this gathering so unique. Normally, On Purpose is where I sit down with incredible guests to share their wisdom with you. But tonight, the roles are reversed. I'm stepping into the guest seat, sharing my own journey, the lessons I've learned, and the practices that continue to guide me every single day. This isn't just another episode. It's an intimate conversation about

• 4:26Jay Shetty?

  resilience, reframing adversity, and discovering how we can make wisdom go viral in our world. And I'm so grateful you're here to be a part of it.

• 4:36Speaker 02

  We are blessed at iHeart to be able to work with hundreds of creators who change the game every day. And one of them is here tonight, a bestselling author. Last time I saw Jay Shetty, he was about to go around the world, like 40 cities with a book that he had just put out. The biggest mental health and mindful podcaster in the world, and has been for several years running. And candidly, just a dear friend of mine and iHeart Media. Let's bring Jay Shetty up.

• 5:24Speaker 02

  So, some of this for me is, uh, is origin stories. And I think everybody here knows who you are. But just in case, how did this happen? How did you get it? Tell us a little bit of the story of how you got here.

• 5:43Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, well, first of all, I'm so grateful to be here and wonderful to be surrounded by all of you, making sure I can see everyone, all the way up there at the back as well.

• 5:53Jay Shetty?

  I have no idea how this happened. I'm like living in bonus land. I had no idea that any of this was possible. I didn't ever believe that any of this would happen. I remember booking small college rooms and putting up posters to try and share wisdom. And I remember going to give my first talk and I waited for 10 minutes after the announced time, waited 20 minutes, waited 30 minutes, 40 minutes later, realized no one was coming. So I practiced my presentation to an empty room. And then the second time, same thing happened, practiced a presentation to an

• 6:35Jay Shetty?

  entry room, empty room. The third time, I realized I had to fire the person putting up the flyers. But that person was me. And so I couldn't really do that. And so I practiced empty rooms for weeks and weeks and years. And I had lived as a monk for three years before that. And I was just trying to share what I'd learned. And to be honest, I was lucky if five to 10 people would show up at an event in London on a Friday night that was absolutely free, so that I could just share wisdom. I had a day job. I was working full time as a consultant in the city just to pay my bills. And then I'd spend my evenings

• 7:20Jay Shetty?

  trying to share wisdom. And so that's how it started. And that led to one day putting out videos and then podcasts and books and everything else. But that's really the journey. That's really the work.

• 7:31Speaker 02

  More than five to 10 people here tonight. A lot of what you talk about, which seems appropriate to start here on a day like today. A lot of what you talk about is reframing adversity. You just told a little story about how you had a little adversity. You're trying to get a career going, an after-hours career. We are running and gunning, a lot of us marketers in the corporate world, hour in, hour out. We hit adversity all the time. We hit it emotionally. We hit it professionally. What I love about talking to you is how practical it gets so fast. Talk to us a little bit about what that means for you, reframing adversity, and

• 8:15Speaker 02

  what we could do, literally tomorrow morning, maybe, to live a little differently.

• 8:23Jay Shetty?

  What's really interesting is there's this beautiful teaching that comes from the Buddha that I love, and it's called "The Second Arrow." So the Buddhist talks about how if someone shoots an arrow at you, and sadly it hits you, it's gonna hurt. That's what it feels like to experience adversity. We all have that, whether someone shouted at you, someone said something mean on the subway, your boss is having a bad day, maybe your child said something to you, right? Whatever it is, like everyone's got their version of that. Your friend screwed you over, your boyfriend or girlfriend or whoever it was broke up with you for no reason at all.

• 9:05Jay Shetty?

  That's the first arrow. And the Buddha talks about how the first arrow hurts, and you can't really change that. But the Buddha says, "Don't fire a second arrow at yourself." And the second arrow is the meaning that you attach to that first arrow. So, "Oh, they broke up with me because I'm not good enough." "Oh, my boss is yelling at me because they hate me." "Oh, that person snarled at me on the train because, you know, I just, I have that energy." And so you start giving meaning to that which doesn't exist. And that second arrow is where all of adversity really begins. We're actually tough enough to heal from the first arrow.

• 9:48Jay Shetty?

  Every single one of you has healed from the most difficult things. Things that I'm not aware of, things that you may never share. Whether you've lost a loved one, whether you went through a really difficult health challenge when you were younger, whether you grew up without a parent, like whatever you've been through, you've been through really, really hard things. And you can do extremely hard things moving forward. And so the first thing you can do, waking up tomorrow to Connell's point, is make a list of every hard thing you've been through. It will only make you more confident. It will only make you more courageous. Make a list of every difficult thing you've done in your life. And the second thing is, stop giving negative meaning to hard things that happen. Stop firing that second arrow at yourself.

• 10:33Jay Shetty?

  Those are the two things I'd do.

• 10:36Speaker 02

  Just to repeat it, like it, conversations with you, whether, whether it's in private, before we come on, or here in front of a crowd, it's, I find it so helpful. I'll, I'll tell sort of a candid moment of, a couple of years ago, we were sitting and doing a Q and A together. And after the Q and A, I said, yeah, my son's going off to college in a, in a year, and I'm, I'm sort of freaking out about it. And I think he's on a trajectory, that he's trying to figure himself out. We all are. And your, your instinct, this really happened, like your instinct was, let me call him. Let me call, you want me to talk to him, I'll talk to him, it'd be cool, I won't make it weird.

• 11:18Speaker 02

  And, and, and it was so, you're, you're so of service. But I thought to myself afterwards, like, God, that's gotta be exhausting, to constantly be helping, and you really are. What do you do for yourself to reboot, to reinvigorate yourself, because you are constantly in service like that? In some sense, taking on other people's stuff so much? What do you do to keep stable, going, okay? What do you do?

• 11:54Jay Shetty?

  I'll try and be brief about the things that I think are obvious. So, I meditate daily, I exercise five, six days a week, eat healthy, I have a very disciplined regimen when it comes to all of that stuff. So, that, that helps a lot. But, but on a deeper level, and to, and to take it a step deeper, because I think all of you are here today, and we have this intimate space to be more open and vulnerable. For me, I've been really fortunate that my teachers are like a reservoir of joy. And I get to...

• 12:32Jay Shetty?

  Be with them deeply, often. And so my monk teacher is seventy five years old this year. He was in New York actually earlier this week. So I would finish my work day and spend Monday and Tuesday evening with him for like three, four hours. And he is just full of wisdom. He's full of light. He's full of life and I'm just in his aura, just like soaking it in. And he's just truly one of those people that you meet and you're just like, I feel like he's looking through me. I feel like he sees all my flaws, but I feel loved and I feel held. And I've known him ever since I was eighteen years old and for twenty years, he's been my guide and my mentor. And being in his presence is just unmatched. And so I'm spoiled, I'm overwhelmed with love for him.

• 13:15Jay Shetty?

  And then the second part of it is really beautiful because when you are of service, when you're trying to give, I don't. When I'm trying to be helpful, you actually receive really beautiful stories. And so I talked about this, I was on the Today Show this morning and I was talking to Chanel, who sadly, one of the hosts who lost her husband to cancer. She just came back after six months of taking care of him during that time and, and while he passed away. And she, she asked me a similar question. And I immediately thought of two people that I met while I was on tour. So this year we took on purpose across fifteen cities of North America and Canada. And I met two people that stayed with me. I met lots of people, but two people stayed with me deeply.

• 14:00Jay Shetty?

  One was a Navy SEAL. Hmm. Who was just back from deployment that weekend. And said to me that when they're at deployment, they listen to On Purpose. And I just was like, wait a minute, how does that even happen? Like, I just like, explain that to me. And it was just humbling. It just felt bizarre and ridiculous. And I was like, teach me, like, tell me, tell me about you. I'm so much more interested in learning from you.

• 14:26Jay Shetty?

  And the second person was this nineteen year old girl, who is a world champion cheerleader. And at sixteen years old, she's world champion across America. And she had a freak accident where she had a really bad fall. And she had a disruption in her spinal cord, which has left her paralyzed, which includes her hands. She was in a wheelchair when I saw her, three years on. And she was the most vibrant person I'd ever met in my life. She was beaming, she was smiling, she was joyful, she was telling me her story with full of life. Her name is Michaela Noble.

• 15:08Jay Shetty?

  And I was so inspired by her and I was like, what, how did you do this? Like, how, how can you be that positive? Like, I was like, if I listened to all my advice, I wouldn't be like you.

• 15:18Speaker 02

  Right.

• 15:18Jay Shetty?

  So, explain to me how you did this. And I meant it, I was like, explain to me. And she explained to me that she believes in God and that God reminded her how beautiful her family is and just how that's been her source of shelter and love. And I have never forgotten that moment I shared with her, I met her for like ten minutes or something. But I, I can't stop talking about it and thinking about it because she was showing me how vibrant, energetic and beaming someone can be when they can't walk, they're in a wheelchair and they've lost their dreams. She'll never be able to cheer again. And so, that's how I get inspired. The people who I've learned from, and I find even the people that

• 16:01Jay Shetty?

  say they're learning from me, they're actually inspiring me more than they know.

• 16:05Speaker 02

  I think a lot of what we strive for as marketers, as professionals, is when we're working on that one idea, that one campaign, and it goes viral. And we're like, wow. In, in marketing speak, you've got a lot of earned, earned value, earned media on your hands. But you use this term, making wisdom go viral, which I can't imagine anything more timely than this as a goal. Just walk us through that, what does it mean for you? Why do you talk about that a lot?

• 16:33Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I read a book before I started creating content by Saleem Ishmael. The book's called The Singularity. Oh no, the book's called Exponential Organizations, published by the Singularity University years ago, really old book. And it almost talked about how Uber and Facebook and how those early companies had their rise. But he talked about how all amazing companies or organizations or people had an MTP, or a massive transformational purpose. And he talks in the book about how Google's MTP is organizing the world's information. Their MTP is not building Google Ads or Google AI or Google Glasses.

• 17:14Jay Shetty?

  It's organizing the world's information. It's massive, it's aspirational, and it allows them to do anything. It's not like we can just have a Gmail account. And he said Ted's was ideas worth spreading. So I spent a lot of time thinking like, what's my MTP? And I came up years ago now, like maybe eight years ago, with making wisdom go viral. And it really stuck for me and it really stuck for a lot of other people. And then Covid came and viral had a whole new meaning. Then everyone's like, maybe you should change that. And so we didn't use it for a few years. It's kind of having a comeback now. But MTP, talking about why that's important and what it means. When I started creating content, there were only like three or four things that went viral.

• 17:58Jay Shetty?

  So it was cats, which I love. Any cat people? Yeah, alright, okay. Dogs?

• 18:05Speaker 02

  Didn't know that we were going there.

• 18:07Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, dogs, dog people? Number three, babies, baby people? So cats, dogs, babies, and then people taking their clothes off. So those are the... People taking their clothes off?

• 18:19Speaker 02

  No one? Really? We don't get a cheer?

• 18:21Jay Shetty?

  So those are the four things that went viral. When I started creating content, health and wellness, mindfulness, meditation, wisdom, didn't really exist on the internet. Like, it wasn't viral. It was there, but it wasn't viral. And so I thought, how amazing would it be? I've been so fortunate to learn about these traditions that are 5,000 years old. They're not my teachings, they're not my wisdom. It's wisdom that I've gained from my teachers and mentors. How amazing would it be if these went viral and everyone for free could have access to these tools and skills? What an amazing world we would live in. What if compassion could go viral? What if empathy could go viral? What if the ideas that bring people together could go viral? Because I wasn't seeing that.

• 19:02Jay Shetty?

  Until this day, On Purpose's mission is, I promise you, we will get the same or more views... Than any of our peers in this place without using clickbait. Like, that's, that's our mission. Like, that's my rule. I will never ask a clickbait question. Because I don't want to, because our mission is we're gonna prove to you that if you serve the world, world, healthy food. But looks good and tastes good, then they'll take it. But if you serve the world junk food, of course, they're gonna eat it, it's obvious. And so my push to myself is always, how do I ask the least clickbait question? And get it to go viral, which annoys my team, because they're like, Jay, if you just asked them about Kanye, it would help. And I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna go through this whole interview and not mention Kanye.

• 19:47Jay Shetty?

  And I did that, and yeah, it still worked. So that's kind of where I come at it from, which is, yeah, how do we truly make wisdom go viral? I'm totally not gonna ask my next question about Kanye.

• 20:04Jay Shetty?

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• 20:50Jay Shetty?

  Not just because of the food, but because it felt like a real, local experience. That's what makes Chase Sapphire Reserve different. It's not just perks, it's the moments that make a trip truly special and personal. Curious how Chase Sapphire Reserve can take your travel and dining to the next level? Visit chase.com/sapphirereserve to learn more. From your first lounge stop to your last unforgettable meal. Chase Sapphire Reserve makes every moment of your trip feel special.

• 21:34Speaker 02

  We at iHeart are a multimedia company. Broadcast, radio, podcasting, of course, is our bedrock. But we are everything from iHeartRadio Music Festival in Las Vegas to Jingle Ball. Yes, Jingle Ball. If you want to see how loud our company gets, it's Jingle Ball. But it always warms my heart to talk to creators like yourself, or Malcolm Gladwell, or Questlove, who are partners with ours, for whom audio, in particular, is very, very specifically important.

• 22:19Speaker 02

  Malcolm Gladwell puts it in a way when I was talking to him, and he said, "You know, it's funny, video for me comes in through the eyes, but audio goes straight for the heart." And he said, "I swear, I'm not making this up." He's like, "I've seen audiences react differently to the stuff I do as a creator." Why is audio such a huge part of your focus, particularly podcasting, the On Purpose Podcast? What itch does it scratch? What need does it serve? Why does it play such a big role in your life?

• 22:56Jay Shetty?

  You can't just quote Malcolm Gladwell. I grew up, Malcolm's like my hero. I grew up reading all his books. It was so wonderful to meet him in Qatar. I love Malcolm. His books are incredible, and I love that. I love that approach. It's beautiful. For me, audio feels like you're on a phone call with someone, which feels so intimate, because no one calls anyone anymore. And so, there's such an intimacy in feeling like someone's in your ear. It's so close. It's so vulnerable. It's so personal when you're letting someone into your ear. And I see that in the different...

• 23:39Jay Shetty?

  Communities I have, if someone watches me, they know a certain part of me. But if someone listens to me, they know me far more deeply. I know the difference when I meet someone who listens to On Purpose regularly, versus someone who follows me on Instagram.

• 23:53Speaker 02

  Oh, interesting.

• 23:53Jay Shetty?

  It's completely different, the conversation I'm gonna have with that person. And if someone's listening to my audiobook, same thing. It's, it's so meaningful because I think we all consume more deeply through our ears. We could be looking at something and looking at a million things. And when you're watching something, like Malcolm said, like when you're watching something, you're looking at the characters and you might look at their hair and the bag that they're holding and their fashion, and then you forgot what they said. But when you're listening, all you can do is listen to what someone said. There is zero distraction. So the intimacy, the vulnerability, the personal connection is just unmatched. And I feel so lucky that I get to live and sit with people, whether they're at the gym, whether they're on their way to work or back, whether they're walking their dog,

• 24:38Jay Shetty?

  whether they're trying to walk their cat, whether they're cooking, like, you know, it's like whatever you're doing, like you're a part of someone's life.

• 24:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:46Jay Shetty?

  If you think about that, audio is the only thing you really do while doing everything else. So you're a part of someone's life, whereas you sit down to watch a show. You're not doing, you might do a bunch of things and watch, but when you're doing a bunch of things and you're listening, it's like there's just this beautiful captivated connection. And so I, and I feel that with someone who, people when I meet them and they listen to the podcast, they'll often come up to me and say, I feel like I know you.

• 25:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:09Jay Shetty?

  And my answer is, you kind of do.

• 25:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:11Jay Shetty?

  Uh, you know, and it's, it's, it's different from someone saying, I follow you on Instagram.

• 25:18Speaker 02

  I feel like not talking about artificial intelligence would be remiss in not hitting it at least for a second.

• 25:27Speaker 02

  We have a pretty incredible research team at iHeart, and they are laser focused on this topic today of what, what does it mean to, to, to make human generated content versus AI generated content? This is a challenge we all as marketers are grappling with, figuring out. Is it a tool? Is it a friend? Is it a foe? What do I do? Um, you know, nine out of 10.

• 25:50Speaker 02

  Humans in the United States still feel like it is very important to me that the content I consume is made by human. Eighty-two percent of those people are uncertain of, concerned about AI. It can mean a lot of different things, but generally, it's a position of anxiety. It's not yet a position of, "Let's go, this is gonna be great." How do you process that? How should we think about that?

• 26:20Jay Shetty?

  I think fear around new technology is always normal and expected, and I think we felt the same way about social media, and if not more today than we did when it was founded, and same at the internet, and same with color television and probably everything else. And so, the fear doesn't surprise me, and it feels like a normal human reaction, and probably the most justified ever, because AI is definitely the most scary and the most, yeah, the most potentially dangerous one out of all of them. And I think it seems like it's got worse every time, so it's fair and it's real. I think at the same time, we've seen that the technology is not gonna go away because

• 27:01Jay Shetty?

  we're scared, it's not gonna disappear because we don't like it, and sadly, we're not smart enough as humans to end something before it ends us. And so, we're gonna let it take course, we'll make a documentary in ten years' time. The next book in twelve years will be about how you to get your kids off of AI instead of phones, and we'll do the same thing again, because as Mark Twain says, "History never repeats itself, but it always rhymes." And so, you see that happen again and again and again. So what do we do, right? So what do we do? If we take all of what I just said, and that's just what humans do, then what do we do with that? We only really have one choice, which is, how do we learn to engage with it effectively and not let it use us?

• 27:47Jay Shetty?

  And when I think about creativity, I fully agree with you. There were a couple of brands in the last couple of weeks that launched fully AI campaigns. Yeah. It was rejected completely. I even see fellow creators who are making brilliant storytelling videos on TikTok with AI, with um, with Vio. And the comments are just like, oh, I guess we're using AI now. And I'm, I'm flabbergasted because the storytelling is brilliant. Beautiful. But all the comments are like, why are you doing this? And I'm like, oh, interesting. Not me, we, we're not making them yet, but friends of mine. And I'm like, oh, interesting. Like, what's going on here? So I think that's not gonna go away. And I think the big question I keep getting asked at conferences when I'm especially talk about mindfulness and consciousness is, will AI ever have a soul? Hmm.

• 28:30Jay Shetty?

  My answer to that is I don't know, but I just hope that the people using AI have a soul. Hmm. And I think that's what I would encourage marketers and creators to do, that it's soul plus AI. Hmm. It's not AI. Because you just told me, and I won't share what it was, but you just told me about a beautiful story your friend made into a movie. Yeah. And that story is only a great story because it was real life. Yeah. And so now more than ever, art imitating reality Yeah. is all we have. Hmm. And it's what we've been fascinated about. It's why we love true stories. It's why we love stories that are based on a true story, because art imitating reality is what captures humans and AI can't do that yet.

• 29:15Jay Shetty?

  So that's what we've got to focus on is soul plus AI. And that soul is art imitating reality and that reality means observe real life more rather than expecting AI to figure it out. Because that's your unique superpower as marketers. AI, everyone can ask AI, what would you do for my campaign? But AI doesn't really know how to mirror reality yet. It doesn't still have that. It doesn't have raw emotion and Hmm. ability to transfer the pain of poetry. It can't. It can write a poem, but the poem's pretty basic and average. It does, it still doesn't have that. And so that's our superpower, soul plus AI. So I think we need to use AI, we will use AI, AI will exist now forever, just like social media.

• 30:00Jay Shetty?

  Let's just not lose the soul before it in the algorithm. We all want to feel better, to have more energy and more focus throughout the day. That's why I co-founded Junie, a sparkling adaptogenic drink made with powerful ingredients like ashwagandha and lion's mane. It's designed to boost your mood, support your focus, and give you natural energy, all without the crash. A new classic reimagined. We're so excited to officially launch our new lemonade iced tea flavour. When we created Junie, my goal was simple. I wanted to make drinks that help you feel balanced and energized without compromise. Our upgraded take on the classic Arnold Palmer is crisp, refreshing, and crafted with adaptogens

• 30:42Jay Shetty?

  to support energy, focus, and mood, all with zero sugar. Be among the first to try it. Available exclusively at drinkjunie.com, where you can use the code ONPURPOSE20 for 20% off your first order. Cheers to your daily mood boost.

• 30:59Speaker 02

  I want to open this up just a little bit. I think we're gonna let folks ask you a couple of questions real quick and then we can close out with one more. Yeah, let's go right there.

• 31:11Speaker 03

  So you're surrounded by a lot of people that work in agencies, so we're trained to please people and to never say no. So can you talk to us a little bit about the power of work-life balance and its importance to mental health? And maybe give us some tips to not feel... Because when I say no, I feel selfish.

• 31:28Jay Shetty?

  No to who?

• 31:30Speaker 03

  No to anyone, whether that be family, whether that be bosses, work, clients, all those sorts of places. But I also do know that when you help people, you do feel really good. So how do I help myself to say no to others and say yes to myself?

• 31:46Jay Shetty?

  That's a great question. How many of you feel like a people pleaser? Yes, all of us. Good. How many of you don't feel like people pleasers? Oh, very honest. It's all the bosses in the room. Classic. Yeah, it's all the people at the top. Got it.

• 32:06Jay Shetty?

  You know, it's such a great question, such a great question.

• 32:11Jay Shetty?

  I had to learn that the hard way too, even from a service point of view. So at one point in my life, I was so deeply focused on service that I would burn out very often. I would run out of energy very often because I'd say yes to helping anyone. Someone called me at midnight, I was there, I would fly there, drive there, pick up the phone, whatever it was. Today, unless it is really serious or whatever, and I'm saying this half joking, but if someone calls me up and goes, "Oh, this crazy thing happened at midnight, can I talk about it?" I'm like, "Sleep on it, we'll talk about it in three days." Because half the time, the emergency is not really an emergency. And if it is, of course, take it seriously, but those emergencies are rarely that.

• 32:50Jay Shetty?

  And everything feels like a 10 when you don't really look at the scale of what zero to 10 is. So if 10 is the worst thing ever could happen, ever, write down underneath it what that is for you. So whatever that is for you, like 10 out of 10, the worst day of your life, what would it be? Write that down. And then zero out of 10, what would that day look like if that was the best day of your life? And now, when anything happens, look at it on a scale of one to 10. And now, all of a sudden, things that you think are a 10 are actually a 5. Things that you think are a 10 are actually like a 3. Because now you have a scale to look at it on, because in that moment, a stubbed toe is a 10 out of 10. In that moment, right?

• 33:31Jay Shetty?

  In that moment, getting late to a meeting is a 9 out of 10, because the brain just goes, the mind just goes crazy, it just makes everything feel extreme. And so, make your own 0 to 10 scale. I'm not the one to tell you what a 10 is, and I'm not the one to tell you what a zero is. No one can do it for you. So make that scale, and then anytime something comes in, ask yourself, where does it really sit on that scale? If it's a true emergency, amazing. If it's not, where does it land? Give yourself that, so if it's eight and above, you're gonna say yes, and if it's six and below, I'm gonna say no. And that gives you a really clear metric for yourself, that I can't tell you. You may say, "Stubbing my toe is a 8.9", you know, but it's up to you to decide. So that's the first step. The second part of it, I'd say is, if you really wanna help people,

• 34:16Jay Shetty?

  if you really care about people... It's all about how long you can do it for, not how quick you can do it. So when you really... Thank you so much for that sound effect. That was amazing. I will pay you later. That was amazing. That was so good. That sounded like experience. I'll give you a hug. Okay, a hug, yeah. We need your sound effects on the podcast. When I like say stuff like... Just need like reactions, alright? That's fantastic. On my solo episode.

• 34:45Jay Shetty?

  But it's something...

• 34:48Jay Shetty?

  That's how I do the rest of the time. It's something I had to realize that if I really care about someone, it's how long I can do it for, not how quickly I can solve the problem. And so if saying no is helping you get sharper, more refined, more defined the next day and the day after, you're actually gonna be more useful to that person forever. Even to your boss, to your family, whoever it may be. I've often said to my family, because I live away from them, I no longer have the luxury to spend a lot of time with my family. I live in LA, my family's in London, so is my wife's family. But I've always said to them that I'm gonna show up for the amount of time that I can give you 100% of my presence. So sometimes I can't give people all of my time, but I can always give them all of my presence.

• 35:33Jay Shetty?

  So I'd rather be with someone for 10 minutes, if I can give them 100% of my presence, than be with them for an hour and give them 10% of my presence. Which is what a lot of us do. We try and trade time when no one wants time, they want presence. How many times have you just spent 3 hours with someone and then gone, "I didn't feel like we spent time together"? Because when we're using the wrong language, you were never dealing in time, you were dealing in connection and presence. So you'd be better off... The fact that we all live in these 30-minute, hour meetings, it was just made up by someone who made the calendar. Like, who made that up? Meetings could be 17 minutes if you wanted them to be. They could be 6, they could be 3, but we all think a meeting... Our minds blow.

• 36:16Speaker 04

  The whole room.

• 36:17Jay Shetty?

  We all think meetings have to be thirty or an hour. And I'm like, sometimes I talk to my team, I'm like, I do not need to talk to that person for thirty minutes, right? I just don't. And so we've got to recognize that actually you can become more efficient and effective if you choose not to people please. So your goal, by the way, I love making people happy too. But sometimes the goal of pleasing people is better served when I don't people please. Because I can actually think about the longer term effect of what does it really mean to make them happy? So I hope that helps.

• 36:56Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Indeed. I know how important every hire is for a business. If you need to make the right hire, this is a job for sponsored jobs. Indeed sponsored jobs helps find quality candidates when you need the most. You can reach who you need based on whatever criteria you're looking for, like skills, certifications or location. In fact, people are finding quality hires on Indeed right now. In the minute I've been talking to you, companies like yours made twenty seven hires on Indeed, according to Indeed data worldwide. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Listeners of this show will get a seventy five dollar sponsored job credit at indeed.com/podcast.

• 37:39Jay Shetty?

  That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. If you're talking about quality food, you can't forget Whole Foods Market, who've been holding themselves to the highest standards since they opened in nineteen eighty. That means you'll see thousands of organic products across their stores, from the produce department to the aisles. It also means you'll never see certain ingredients. They've banned artificial sweeteners and colors, high fructose corn syrup and more, so you can shop with peace of mind. Shop Whole Foods Market in store or online. This episode is brought to you by State Farm.

• 38:24Jay Shetty?

  We talk a lot about intentional decision making, and that extends to the practical stuff too, like making sure your coverage actually works for your life. State Farm is there to meet you where you are, and they know how sweet it is to feel good about your decisions. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state.

• 39:04Speaker 02

  We got time for one more question from the crowd. Pick somebody.

• 39:09Jay Shetty?

  The back?

• 39:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:12Jay Shetty?

  Oh yeah, there's, yeah.

• 39:13Speaker 02

  Up top, let's do it.

• 39:14Jay Shetty?

  And yeah, the black t-shirt.

• 39:16Speaker 05

  Hello, hello, how you doing?

• 39:17Jay Shetty?

  Hey, how you doing?

• 39:18Speaker 05

  Not too bad. I'm glad you could see me up here.

• 39:20Jay Shetty?

  Nice to meet you. What's your name?

• 39:21Speaker 05

  Uh, Ricardo.

• 39:22Jay Shetty?

  Nice to meet you.

• 39:23Speaker 05

  Nice to meet you. Um, so as somebody who is interested and has been intrigued by just the Buddhist practices, also been reading up on like some of the uh, Vedic scriptures, um, such as like the Bhagavad Gita. Uh, you had mentioned that you served as a monk or lived as a monk for a couple of years. So I just wanted to know during that time living as a monk, what was one of the most influential things that you learned?

• 39:46Jay Shetty?

  Don't do it, don't do it. I have to.

• 39:49Speaker 05

  Uh, what was the most influential thing that you learned during that time that still sticks with you today?

• 39:54Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, thank you. Great question. Uh, and if you want to be a monk, and you're not married and don't have kids, go do it. Uh, it's, it's just striking me with the amount of married men that come up to me and go, "I really always wanted to be a monk." And I'm like, "Yeah."

• 40:06Speaker 02

  I was gonna ask.

• 40:07Jay Shetty?

  They're not gonna accept you. Uh, it doesn't work like that. Um, that's a great, great, great question. Uh...

• 40:16Jay Shetty?

  I would say it was something that wasn't even necessarily taught, but it was a way we lived. And so when you live as a monk, I lived as a monk for three years. You have two sets of robes, you wear one, you wash one. You sleep in a communal space. And some rooms that we slept in could sleep thirty people, sometimes it could sleep two hundred people. You don't have a space that's yours, you put a little yoga mat on the floor. Uh, if you're in India, you'll have a mosquito net to protect you from getting eaten at night. And you'll just have a bed sheet because it's not that cold most months, and if it's cold, you'll have a bigger blanket. If you're anywhere else in the world, you could, we had a traveling sleeping bag sometimes, like a camping bag.

• 40:59Jay Shetty?

  What's really interesting is you don't get to decide what you eat, you eat what you're given.

• 41:04Jay Shetty?

  So what ends up happening is you end up becoming really flexible. And really adaptable. Because you don't have a place that's yours. You don't have a bed that's yours. You don't have a room that's yours. You don't end up having much that's yours. And you start realizing that it's actually liberating when you learn to live with consistency and stability and how you wake up and look outwards. Rather than look at all those things to make you feel secure. So it's a really interesting, fascinating thing where like, you're almost training yourself to wake up with stability from within, because outside of you, everything's unstable.

• 41:44Jay Shetty?

  Because you can't, you can't control it and it's not part of your life. And while now my life is extremely controlled on the outside. I still see that value in how useful it was to have that skill on the inside. Because when things aren't going my way externally. That's what I turn to. So that doesn't mean we shouldn't design our homes to be really curated and intentional. I think that's a really healthy way to live. But learning adaptability and flexibility can be a really important skill. To help us deal with when things don't go to plan. And uh, when I was a monk, like things generally never went to plan because you, you don't, you're not, you don't, you're not in control. Uh, and so learning how to deal with not being in control.

• 42:29Jay Shetty?

  Again, I'm not recommending that your whole life should not be in control. That is not the point. The point is, we all have moments in our life that none of us can control. And knowing how to respond to those is really, really helpful. So I hope that helps. Yeah, thank you so much.

• 42:43Speaker 02

  Last question. Again, you have a room full of creatives, marketers, storytellers. Maybe just challenge us with what's one thing? One question we should ask ourselves tomorrow? Tomorrow morning, every meeting that we go into? What's one beat we should take? And one question we should ask ourselves to sort of reset just a little bit?

• 43:16Jay Shetty?

  So if I had this right now, I'd give it to all of you. And if I didn't care so much about the environment, I'd give it to you as well. But I'd print out for you a piece of A4 piece of paper. And on it, it would have 30 circles. This is something called the 30 Circles Test. So imagine an A4 piece of paper and there's 30 circles on it. I would then tell you, you had 30 seconds to uniquely use and complete 30 circles. The timer would start, the countdown would go down. 20, 10, 9, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. I'd say, stop. I'd know straight away who cheated in school because you'd still be scribbling. I'd then really ask you to stop, but then I'd ask you what you did. I've done this everywhere. These are the top five answers.

• 44:01Jay Shetty?

  The first is I wrote the numbers 1 to 30.

• 44:04Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 44:04Jay Shetty?

  In the circles. The second is I wrote the alphabet A to Z and then A, B, C, D to finish it off. The third is I did squiggles and loops and whatever, like doodling. The fourth is I did emojis, pizzas, footballs, soccer balls, whatever that is. And then the fifth is we call it noughts and crosses. You call it?

• 44:26Speaker 02

  Tic-tac-toe?

• 44:28Jay Shetty?

  What's it called? What was that? Is it called tic-tac-toe?

• 44:32Speaker 02

  I think so.

• 44:32Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, noughts and crosses. X is a nose. Right, right, yeah, yeah. Tic-tac-toe. All right, yeah, we call it noughts and crosses. So, so yeah, noughts and crosses. So, so that's the other thing that people do. Pretty much no one does anything different to that, pretty much. I've, the people think their doodle is something special, but it's just a doodle. And then I've done this same activity with... By the way, we've done this with executives at every major company. I've then done this activity with ten year olds. Yeah. And some of the ten year olds come up with some amazing stuff. One kid, he drew this thing around the thirty circles, put a little tag on top. And put some lines on it. And when I asked him what it was, he said it was a bag of tennis balls.

• 45:14Jay Shetty?

  This other young girl that I really, um, this one, I'll never forget. She did all this intricate line work on some of the circles. And when I asked her what it was, she said it was a chessboard from a bird's eye view. I was like, wow. And, and she was like, yeah, my mom made me watch Queen's Gambit.

• 45:35Jay Shetty?

  So I was like, we'll talk about it. That may not be the right inspiration for a ten year old. Uh, and then this one, probably my favorite one out of all of them is this girl did all this intricate line work, curves, shades, all this stuff in thirty seconds. And when I asked her what it was, she held it like this and she said bubble wrap. Wow.

• 45:54Jay Shetty?

  Now, what happened? I'm talking to some of the most creative executives in the world, biggest marketers in the world. I've done this activity. I usually do it in smaller groups. What do we learn? We learn that the human brain has become so logical by the time we get twenty, twenty-five, thirty, forty, fifty years old, that we hear thirty circles, thirty seconds, task done. And that's what we're going after. These ten year olds don't even know what that means, right? They don't care about the time. They're just laterally thinking about the idea. Subconsciously, they're not going on trying to be creative. They're just not worried about finishing in time. And even if they are, they kind of are thinking about it in a completely different way. So my question to you is how can you start looking at your life and your role

• 46:39Jay Shetty?

  through the fresh eyes of a child? How can you look at a problem the way a child would look at a problem? When a child's asked what a washing machine is, they think it's a time machine. When a child is asked what an iPhone is, they think it's a portal that someone could reach their hand through and they can reach their hand through. Now, think about how many amazing marketing ideas you'd have if you looked at something through fresh eyes. Whereas when we're all looking at the latest TikTok trend and the latest Instagram trend and everyone's doing the same thing, it's like we're looking at things through the task file of what's working today. Whereas all the ads we all love, and the reason you probably became a marketer is someone blew your mind because they created something that felt like they were being childlike, not childish.

• 47:23Jay Shetty?

  And so I'd encourage you all to think about how to think about, how would you think a child would interact with whatever you're doing? And if a child doesn't interact with the product you use, how can you look at it through the fresh eyes of a child? To not look at it for what you have learned to believe it is, but whatever it could be.

• 47:44Speaker 02

  Thank you so much for hanging out with us tonight. I'm gonna let you get out of here and then I'm gonna close out. But thank you, Jack.

• 47:49Jay Shetty?

  Thank you for your questions, everyone. So nice to meet you all. If this is the year that you're trying to get creative, you're trying to build more, I need you to listen to this episode with Rick Rubin on how to break into your most creative self, how to use unconventional methods that lead to success, and the secret to genuinely loving what you do. If you're trying to find your passion and your lane, Rick Rubin's episode is the one for you.

• 48:15Speaker 06

  Just because I like it, that doesn't give it any value. Like, as an artist, if you like it, that's all of the value. That's the success comes when you say, "I like this enough for other people to see it."

• 48:27Speaker 07

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• 48:56Speaker 04

  Mr. President, my company told me of the explosion on our rig. On October 2nd. Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all heap the blame on me. Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess, and Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and The Revenant.

• 49:13Speaker 08

  What would happen if I stopped drilling? You're stalled, you're freezing to death, that's what.

• 49:17Speaker 04

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 49:20Speaker 08

  I'm not the first, Danny.

• 49:21Speaker 04

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only begins October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Not admitted without parent.