I’m Not Ready For A Baby…

Join Alex in the studio for a special solo episode where she opens up about her experience trying for a baby and why she ultimately decided now just wasn’t the right time.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Southern New Hampshire University. Daddy gang, let's get real, okay? We like to make our own rules. Southern New Hampshire University gets it. They let you learn what you want with over 200 career-focused programs, where you want with 100% online courses, and how you want with no set class times. Basically, you get to call the shots from day one. Visit SNHU.edu/callherdaddy to learn more. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Pandora Jewelry. Make their holiday unforgettable with a gift that says it all from Pandora Jewelry. I feel like the best gifts are always the ones that feel really personal, right? Like, anyone can buy you something nice,

• 0:45Alex Cooper?

  but when someone gives you a gift that is actually meaningful, you appreciate it so much more. And that's what I do love about Pandora. They have so many pieces that you can really just make your own, from festive charms to personalized engravings and jewelry that can represent the people and the moments that mean the most to you. So whether you're shopping for your partner or your mom, your best friend, you can find something that really is specific to them. Maybe it's a charm that makes you think of the trip that you guys took together once, or maybe it's an engraving for your anniversary, or just a piece that feels like them the second you see it. Pandora makes it so easy to give a gift that feels thoughtful and personal

• 1:28Alex Cooper?

  and makes every holiday moment even more meaningful and special. Because at the end of the day, the best gifts aren't just about the piece itself, but it's the intention and the story behind them. Say more this holiday season with Pandora. Shop now at pandora.net or visit your closest Pandora store.

• 1:44Speaker 01

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• 2:08Speaker 02

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• 2:15Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Ashley. Okay, so whenever I am picking new furniture for my house or redesigning a room, it is so important to me to make sure that it also is cohesive with the rest of my house and the vibe that I'm feeling. And I think filling your home with beautiful durable pieces from Ashley will help you create a backdrop for growing family's biggest memories, right? You want your home to feel cozy and you want it to feel like you. And thanks to features like stain resistant performance fabric, even the messiest memories will be easy to clean. So, visit your local store or head to ashley.com to find your style.

• 2:59Alex Cooper?

  What is up Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper with Call Her Daddy.

• 3:08Alex Cooper?

  Hello, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Call Her Daddy. Daddy Gang, I have been wanting to give you an update on my life and not just like a, oh, this is what I did last weekend kind of update, but in a more serious way. I feel like I haven't really sat down and talked to you guys about what's actually going on in my life. And while it's obviously so exciting that Call Her Daddy has been having a huge year with insane interviews and big guests. At the end of the day, the show was built on you and me feeling personally connected. So, I am very excited to hang out with you today. This past April,

• 3:53Alex Cooper?

  Matt and I celebrated our one year wedding anniversary. Very exciting. We went to Hawaii with Henry and Bruce, obviously. And it was so relaxing and romantic. And Matt and I were sitting together reflecting on our first year of marriage. How amazing it was, all of the life decisions that we made together. We talked about all the things that we had overcome, the things that we accomplished. And as we're discussing all this, I couldn't help but think to myself, you guys don't really know about any of this in my life. And

• 4:36Alex Cooper?

  That feels weird to say because I recognize I started this show talking so openly in extreme explicit detail about my dating life and really all aspects of my life, but specifically me shitting on the men that I was hooking up with, detailing the sex positions that we were doing the night before, all of the good stuff. And I recognize that that has shifted over the past few years. So today I want to explain why I pulled back. And then in the spirit of reconnecting, I want to give you one of my most personal

• 5:21Alex Cooper?

  life updates that I have to offer right now.

• 5:40Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by SoFi, the everything app for smarter money. If your money is scattered across five different apps you never open, you're not in control. Your money should move you forward. With SoFi, you get award-winning banking, investing, borrowing, and more all in one app. So you finally know where your money is. Make your first move with SoFi Checking and Savings. Competitive APY, no account fees, a bonus when you join with eligible direct deposit. Terms apply. SoFi Bank, N A. Member FDIC. When you're ready to invest or pay off that debt, everything you need is right there. As a SoFi member, you get access to SoFi Wealth's world-class financial planners to

• 6:19Alex Cooper?

  help you know what to do next. Get started today at sofi.com/callherdaddy. SoFi, get your money right. This is a paid advertisement by SoFi Technologies and is not intended to be financial advice. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Ritual. We are learning so much about how the gut microbiome is key to our mental health, immunity, and of course digestion. And I just feel like I didn't know any of this until recently, which is a problem because this is literally everything that we do need to know to take care of ourselves. But did you know, because now I know, the gut microbiome shifts during pregnancy, ladies, and these shifts can impact mom and baby's health in pregnancy and postpartum.

• 7:03Alex Cooper?

  And that is why Ritual created NADAL Biotic, a specialized biotic with clinically studied strains for pregnancy and postpartum microbiome support to support digestive health, mood, vaginal health, and baby's immune health. I have been trying so hard to take care of myself during this pregnancy, and I think something that has been very helpful is actually learning about the things that now I will carry, not only just during this pregnancy, but I will continue to take care of myself in a way that I really never have before. I think sometimes as women, we don't have the tools or we don't know what we're supposed to be doing. And so we sometimes just freeze and we don't do anything. And since having Ritual in my life, it has been so nice to have this daily ritual where I'm actually

• 7:45Alex Cooper?

  taking care of myself and my baby, which feels great. So whether you're pregnant, postpartum, or looking for everyday trusted daily gut support, get clinically studied biotics to support your gut health with Ritual. My listeners can save 25% off their first month at ritual.com/callherdaddy. That's ritual.com/callherdaddy for 25% off your first month. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by T-Mobile. Daddy gang, there are honestly so many reasons to just choose T-Mobile. They've got T-Mobile Tuesdays perks, tons of freebies, travel benefits

• 8:27Alex Cooper?

  like hotel and rental car savings. They make your phone plan feel like it's actually giving you something back instead of just being another bill that you have to pay every single month. And if you're a student, T-Mobile has student perks plans designed specifically for you. I remember being in college and constantly literally just looking for ways to save money understandably. And so these are the kind of perks I would have absolutely taken advantage of. Students can get things like a $5 movie ticket every month, exclusive access to Concerts, okay, and even streaming benefits. So you can always have a reality TV binge night with your girls. And when you're already paying for your phone every month, getting all of these

• 9:12Alex Cooper?

  extra benefits on top of it, just, it makes sense, right? For all the reasons to choose T-Mobile, find yours at tmobile.com/membership. Qualifying plan required. Visit tmobile.com. I have been an open book with you guys. And obviously, that started to shift when I met my husband. And I kind of want to walk you through the evolution, the thought process, and conversations that Matt and I had along the way in deciding how much I was going to publicly share about us

• 9:51Alex Cooper?

  and our relationship. So let's go back to the first time I podcasted about Matthew. I was working at Barstool at the time, fucking throwback. And I had asked them, it was in the pandemic, I had asked them to send me to LA once restrictions kind of opened up a little bit more, so that I could go and interview some guests for Call Her Daddy. If you all remember, that was the trip where I got Miley Cyrus on the show and it fucking changed everything. And at the time, I was extremely single. I was talking to a few guys on my roster. And the first night of my LA trip, I had a work/

• 10:31Alex Cooper?

  slash dinner date scheduled with Matt. I had never met him in person. We had one Zoom meeting together prior, and he invited me to go get sushi with him when I got to LA. When I landed in LA, I remember I immediately set up my podcast equipment, and I just did what I would always do. I just started to talk about a date that I was about to go on with this sexy guy that I met on Zoom, and I decided to call him Mr. Sexy Zoom Man, and that is what he should be referred to by all of the women around the world. And I held nothing back.

• 11:11Alex Cooper?

  I talked about how I thought he was so hot and I obviously searched his IMDb and I looked up every fucking possible interview known to man. His entire digital footprint I had memorized. He barely had an Instagram. I found it and I did all the top tier recon. You know what I mean? All the recon that I have taught you guys to do before you interact with the male species. And I remember I paused the podcast and I said, I will be back with updates. It's, it's time to go on the date. And to anyone who's new here and has become maybe daddy

• 11:50Alex Cooper?

  gang in the interview era of Call or Daddy, this was a very normal occurrence. No man was safe. No detail was left untold. If you were interacting with me in my life, you were getting talked about on the podcast. And so I will never forget, Matt pulled up to pick me up at my hotel and immediately when I got in the car, I thought he was hot and I could tell I was going to get some great podcasting content from the night. And when we sat down at dinner, I was extremely upfront with him about this. I told him I had already banked 30 minutes of pre-date content.

• 12:32Alex Cooper?

  And so whatever happened on the date, you know, obviously it's going to make it into the second half of the episode. He's like, you're insane. And I do remember like Matt definitely expressed that he, he would love if I didn't do that. But overall, his vibe was chill about the situation and it more became kind of like a joke of the night than something like serious that was deterring him from like having a good time. And Matt and I always say to this day, it was hands down the best first date we could have asked for. The date ended up being like three

• 13:08Alex Cooper?

  plus hours. We had really emotionally stimulating conversations. And I think overall, we both were just really surprised at how much we liked each other after one date.

• 13:25Alex Cooper?

  So I got back to my hotel room and obviously I immediately podcasted about it. Every detail, but the debrief, to be fair, was like, pretty fucking tame for my standards. I kept it PG. I'm pretty sure I just detailed like our make out behind the restaurant. Nothing that crazy. And so the episode about Matt Kaplan went live 48 hours after the date. And shortly after, I got a call from Matt himself. I remember I'm in my hotel room. I pick it up. I'm all like giddy. I'm like, oh, he's calling. What does he want? And I remember he's like on the golf course outside and he's laughing

• 14:08Alex Cooper?

  because someone clearly had sent him the episode and he told me that he hadn't listened to it yet. Okay. And he demanded that he hear from my lips what I said about him. And I obviously just gave him the top line. I did leave out, I'm pretty sure like the throbbing of my vagina when I looked at him and all those like little, just like little, little details that he didn't need to know. But overall, gave him the top line. We kept it fucking moving. And he like, again, kind of thought it was funny and endearing and he was chill about it. It's not like he loved it, but the episode was harmless enough that he wasn't going to get mad at me.

• 14:49Alex Cooper?

  And so after that, we ended up hanging out almost every single night for two weeks straight when I was in LA. And when I got back to New York, there was this excitement that I had, but also

• 15:07Alex Cooper?

  this feeling of a little bit of uncertainty because I think Matt and I were both so fucking happy with the time that we had just spent together, but I think we were also trying to be realistic and not get ahead of ourselves. He lived in LA. I still lived in New York. He was an adult. I was a little bit of a fucking degenerate and there was just a lot of unknown variables. So we kind of decided to keep talking and just keep it somewhat casual. And so all of this was smooth sailing until I decided that I was going to ramp it up 10 notches.

• 15:51Alex Cooper?

  And the daddy gang in my heart, I just knew they were due for a graphic detailing of my sex life, obviously. We needed another Gluck Gluck 3000 moment. Okay, we needed a banger. So obviously, insert the sloppy toppy delight. Okay, you guys, I will never forget that episode. And hopefully you don't. Here is the thing. Before I met Matt, I had good sex. I had a lot of good sex. But this man changed the course of my life and changed everything for me. Okay. And so I felt obligated as a woman who would previously claimed that she,

• 16:35Alex Cooper?

  you know, didn't enjoy getting eaten out. I needed to tell you guys what this man had done to my vagina. And so I remember in the episode, I detailed graphically, actually, wait, hold on. You know what we need to do? We need to pull up the fucking episode description because you guys, oh, my God. Okay, this is the description. This week is a solo episode with your father. Alex is detailing her sexcapades with Mr. Sexy Zoom Man, featuring her cum in his beard, his pussy eating skills. Oh, my God. Her sex with him and a battle between him and another

• 17:17Alex Cooper?

  man that made her realize how she feels about him. Oh, my God, I forgot that was about this musician that I was talking to at the same time as Matt. Wait, I'm not okay. His fucking beard. There is so much to unpack here. But let me just fucking say, that episode did numbers. Okay, sloppy toppy delight. Genius. You guys fucking loved that one. Anyways, for context, I remember my headspace of when I went to upload this episode, like, back in the day, I had this obsession with really pushing everything to the limit. And what I mean by this is like, Matt was getting on a plane to come visit me the day that that episode dropped.

• 17:58Alex Cooper?

  In the air, flying cross-country to my ass. And I boop, pressed upload, boop, knew he couldn't download it. Boop, let the world fucking listen to his pussy fucking eating skills. He's flying from Los Angeles to New York at this point to take me to the Hamptons for my birthday. And I thought it would be a good time to just bing, let the world in on a little bit of our detailed sex. And so I remember Matt landed. And this time, he didn't just call me. I got a FaceTime from him as he's in the car, driving to my apartment. And I remember answering and he goes, he just opens the FaceTime and he goes,

• 18:42Alex Cooper?

  "Alex, what did you do?" I'm like, "Oh my God, babe, I can't wait to see you. Like, I know where we're gonna go to dinner tonight. We're all good. What are you talking about?" He's like, "Alex, I just got a call from my dad." No.

• 19:01Alex Cooper?

  Steve, Steve, that's like the real fucking kicker. I can handle Matt being like, "Me and Matt, we can go all day. Your dad is calling you."

• 19:12Alex Cooper?

  Matt's father was aware that his beloved son was flying across the country to see a girl who lived in New York. So naturally, he decided to do a little Google search of his own to find out what I was all about, right? Steve's just trying to catch a vibe. And when he realized that I had a show, obviously, he just went to click on the most recent episode just to get a feel for my morals and my values and like what I'm talking about each week. And unfortunately for him, my most recent episode was detailing how his son was intricately up inside my vagina

• 19:54Alex Cooper?

  to the point where it was so good, he made me come all over his son's beard. He made me come all over his son's. Does that make it sound like the dad? No, no, not made me come. Steve's son made me come on his beard. Regardless, Steve, I forever apologize for this one. However, you're a real one because we do laugh about this to this day. We actually recently talked about this at this past Thanksgiving. Steve was having a hoot and a half. Uh, yeah, it is funny now, but it wasn't that funny back then. Overall, I just remember we hung up the FaceTime and what ended up actually coming from that was Matt and I had to have a serious talk.

• 20:35Alex Cooper?

  This may have slightly pushed Matt over the edge and it was because he started to get calls and texts from family, friends, employees, work colleagues, the random fucking high school friend that he hadn't talked to in 10 years. Everyone was starting to kind of put it together that Matt was the sexy Zoom man, the call her daddy girl was talking about every week now. And I could tell Matt was uncomfortable and a little overwhelmed by all of this. He is such a private person and when Matt and I now talk about that time back in our lives,

• 21:13Alex Cooper?

  he always laughs and is like, I just had no idea how serious you and I were going to become. So of course I was like trying to protect myself and I was hesitant to have someone talk so explicitly about me in a way that could probably impact my life. And I'm always like, totally fair, babe, totally fair. Thank God it worked out, but totally fair. Like I get it. That's, he wasn't in control. I had like all the keys and I was driving and he was just hoping I didn't fucking go too far each week. But so that though, I will say was the first time in my life of having call her daddy

• 21:57Alex Cooper?

  that I was torn about next week's podcast. It was the first time that I ever thought about sparing a man's feelings because I actually cared about him. And trust me, I hated myself too at that point. I was like, No, you cannot care about him. Like, fuck this. Like, exploit your life, exploit him, keep it fucking moving. But that just wasn't the truth. I did care. And so I will say the situation kind of forced us to have more honest and real conversations than we probably typically would have had at that point in seeing each other.

• 22:41Alex Cooper?

  And we really had to talk honestly and openly about whether we could fit into each other's lives. The reality was, I was a very, very, very public person and he was beyond private. How the fuck is that gonna work?

• 22:57Alex Cooper?

  I think what was confusing was the compatibility, like, immediately off the bat was there. Compatibility, the intimacy was there, everything felt right, but this aspect was gonna take compromising from both of us. Obviously, you guys know how this story ends. It, thank God, worked out. And Matt and I, over that next year, we found a rhythm that worked for us. And looking back, without a doubt, I think my biggest fear at the time had been that I genuinely believed that I wouldn't find a man who would let me just be me and support me

• 23:38Alex Cooper?

  and support my career, because it is a lot to take on. And, you know,

• 23:47Alex Cooper?

  I think for Matt, I feel like Matt's biggest fear, honestly, was he was just like, I just don't want you to ruin my life. Please don't take me down.

• 23:56Alex Cooper?

  I didn't. Everything is fine. But overall, I think the more and more we fell in love, I actually I felt this internal shift in myself, where I didn't have an urge to talk about everything that happened between us, because I wanted to protect our relationship. And I was the one leading this decision-making, which was nice. Matt had made it clear, once he and I basically knew, like, oh, we're in this, he made it clear that he trusted me implicitly and he expressed to me that I'm now all in, like, I'm down for whatever. I trust you. I trust what you're gonna share on Call Her Daddy. We'll be like, fine for our relationship and I love you and like, do your thing. I, I love you.

• 24:40Alex Cooper?

  Which was nice, because I don't, again, I don't think I could have been with someone that like, put guardrails up for me. And something I don't want to get misconstrued when I'm saying all this, Daddy Gang, is like, you all did absolutely nothing to make me feel like I didn't want to share about my life, or I needed to hide things. Like, that is not what this is about at all. You guys have been the most fucking supportive people in my life, truly. And I think it really was just a natural evolution within myself and what my relationship needed to build into what it is today.

• 25:17Alex Cooper?

  I also think something I've learned from spending more time in this crazy fucking industry is that when you start doing things for content and public views, it really starts to blur the line of what is real and what is fake. Because when you are sharing your relationship, inevitably, you're gonna want to present the best possible way. And I, you guys see it all the time. Like, someone breaks up and everyone's like, what? They broke up? We've only seen them kiss and hug and be in love. And it's like, of course. Like, no one's posting the fighting video online.

• 25:59Alex Cooper?

  And I just think, when you're doing that, you're constantly deciding how you want to be perceived by the world. And I know, no one wants to hear this, but this is so fucking common in Hollywood. Like, a lot of the decisions people are making in Hollywood are heavily influenced by public opinion, and image, and branding, and personal gain. And so-

• 26:23Alex Cooper?

  That was also something that Matt and I personally recognized neither of us had interest in falling into that trap together. I didn't want to make decisions and do things that I wouldn't naturally do with Matt, just for likes and views and attention. Like, I quite literally know couples who spend their entire Saturday night filming content, or they go to certain events so that they are photographed together, and so the internet gives them the stamp of approval of like, couple goals. I also sadly know couples who attend events or just go out to be seen in public, so that they are seen together, and they're able to confirm to the public, like, yay, we're happy, look, we're not breaking up, all is good in

• 27:04Alex Cooper?

  our life. It's just not something we were interested in doing at all. And obviously, those are the extreme examples, but like, you're still kind of trying to appease the public, and so you're making decisions about your relationship for the public. And by not leaning into any of that, it was the best decision we as a couple ever made in the beginning, to just keep it as private as we could. And now to clarify, I'm not saying I can't throw up, like, a couple moments with me and Matt on social media occasionally, but I do it in a way that feels very low stakes and low pressure to me. And I now have an understanding of what specific aspects I need to keep private, and what aspects are

• 27:48Alex Cooper?

  okay to share. So, now, I want to share something extremely personal that I have been holding on to for the past year. And I am finally ready to talk about it. So, here we go.

• 28:22Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Revolve. Now that I'm entering this mom era, guys, I'm trying to figure out my style. Okay, I'm looking for my good elevated basics. I'm looking for a lot of matching sets. I'm looking for cozy but practical. And so I'm just, I'm trying to figure it out. So whether you're preparing for your hot mom era, leaning into a new cozy fall wardrobe, or just wanting to feel hot and comfortable, Revolve has what you're looking for in a wardrobe. Revolve has literally everything from cozy knits to event dresses, all curated in a way that makes getting dressed so easy. You also don't have to waste time endlessly scrolling, which is my favorite part, because everything already fits the look that you're going for.

• 29:03Alex Cooper?

  And once you find something you like, Revolve will show you similar options so you can build off of that. This is my favorite aspect of shopping on Revolve. I'm like, oh, I really like this sweater. And then all of a sudden, like shop the whole look. And then there's the pants, and then there's the purse, and then there's the shoes, and then there's the jewelry, and then there's the sunglasses. And I'm like, oh, my God, I just put all this in my cart and I never, I didn't have to do much. It's really nice. Also, you can find the best brands, keep coming back to shop new arrivals daily and find inclusive sizing. Listen, hot girl energy, hot mom energy, whatever era you're in, Revolve has the outfit for it. Revolve has the hottest brands, new arrivals shopping daily, and pieces you'll wear over and over again.

• 29:42Alex Cooper?

  Go to revolve.com/chd and use code C H D for 15% off your first order. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by SoFi, the everything app for smarter money. If your money is scattered across five different apps you never open, you're not in control. Your money should move you forward. With SoFi, you get award-winning banking, investing, borrowing, and more, all in one app, so you finally know where your money is. Make your first move with SoFi Checking and Savings. Competitive A P Y, no account fees, a bonus when you join with eligible direct deposit. Terms apply. SoFi Bank, N A Member, F D I C. When you're ready to invest or pay off that debt, everything you need is right there.

• 30:25Alex Cooper?

  As a SoFi member, you get access to SoFi Wealth's world-class financial planners to help you know what to do next. Get started today at sofi.com/callherdaddy. SoFi, get your money right. This is a paid advertisement by SoFi Technologies and is not intended to be financial advice. Like I just, you know, told all of you, pretty early on, Matt and I were having very, very real conversations about life. We talked about ideal timelines, our views on marriage, what we wanted out of life, whether or not we wanted children, and if so, when that would ideally be.

• 31:05Alex Cooper?

  And we were pretty much aligned on everything. All of these decisions, Matt and I went on to make in lockstep together. Marriage, buying a house, starting a company together, all of it. But one of the decisions that we have been actively trying to figure out is when we want to try and have kids. And so much has gone into these conversations. And we ultimately decided that we wanted to start trying to get pregnant last summer.

• 31:44Alex Cooper?

  And we were so excited. Like, we started planning renovations on our house to build a nursery and upstairs kids bedrooms. We told our families. Our, you know, date nights consisted of us talking about how excited we were to watch each other become parents. We started doubling down on what baby names we liked. It was at like the top of my notes every week. We were refreshing it. And we were both

• 32:19Alex Cooper?

  ready. Like, we were just so excited and ready. And so shortly after our wedding, I went off birth control. And I really want to talk about that for a second because

• 32:35Alex Cooper?

  Holy fucking shit. That was an experience that I was not prepared for. And I know everyone's experience is different. So first, I just want to be clear. Like, birth control is a privilege. I am so grateful that I was able to be on it. And again, I'm not a doctor. I am not advocating for anyone to go off of it. I just want to explain to you what my experience was. For context, I had been on birth control since I was 16 years old. And so when I was about to go off the pill, I started talking to my friends around me about their experiences. And every single one was varied.

• 33:17Alex Cooper?

  For a few of my friends, they went off the pill and it took over a year for them to get their period back. For some others, it only took a month and then their body was just like basically back to normal. So there is just like, really, it feels like no way to know what will happen to you or what your body's experience might be.

• 33:39Alex Cooper?

  But for me, when I first went off the pill, at first, everything seemed fine. The first month, I experienced spotting. I didn't get my period back, but overall, I felt pretty normal. And then about a month or so later, things changed. I started to experience extreme vertigo and dizziness. And the new hormonal fluctuations were just so intense and really affecting me. I would be in interviews about to pass out. I would pass out in the shower.

• 34:25Alex Cooper?

  Was so fucking emotional all the time and it was frustrating. I like physically, I could feel my body trying to re-regulate and find its new normal. And it was struggling. I started breaking out like crazy. I felt awful 24/7. And I just felt so out of control with what was happening to my body. I could tell something wasn't right. And of course, all of the questions any woman would start to think were running through my head. I'm fucking Googling everything. Obviously, the biggest one being like, am I fertile?

• 35:09Alex Cooper?

  And will I even be able to get pregnant? And I just started spiraling and assuming the worst, as we all do. And so, four to five months went by and I ended up getting my period back. But my cramps were beyond excruciating to the point that my doctor considered that I may have PCOS. And so, all of this is happening and we're all trying to just figure out like, how do I get back to normal? How do I feel okay? And while this is happening, Matt and I have a conversation and we decide to just put a pause on getting pregnant because the first priority was I need to get back to feeling good and normal.

• 35:52Alex Cooper?

  And so, as shitty as all of this was, that things weren't exactly going according to plan or our timeline about getting pregnant. My career, on the other hand, had never been busier and never been bigger. And when I look back at this time last year, I felt like...

• 36:21Alex Cooper?

  I really had hit my stride in feeling so confident in running a company. I started unwell about two years ago and I am so fucking proud about what we've built. I love being a podcast host more than anything. And now being able to branch into this new role as a CEO and owner. I feel even more creatively stimulated. I've never worked harder or been more excited to be doing what I'm doing. This past year, I signed a huge new deal.

• 36:59Alex Cooper?

  I turned 30 and at that time, I didn't want to slow down. And getting pregnant inevitably would mean I had to slow down. And so I remember starting to have doubts. And it started to eat me alive inside because, you know, this wasn't the plan. Like, this wasn't the plan that Matt and I were so excited about. And it's not the plan that we talked about and that we agreed upon.

• 37:43Alex Cooper?

  And I don't know exactly when it hit me, but in the moments where I was being really honest with myself, which took a minute, but I eventually realized I wasn't ready.

• 38:00Alex Cooper?

  And even when I got to feeling healthier again, as nice as that was, it didn't make me want to rush and have a baby. Instead, it made me more anxious because I should have felt ready. And I felt so frustrated with myself and I felt, I felt guilty. Like,

• 38:31Alex Cooper?

  How had I gone from being so sure and so excited to start this process? And then now I'm doubting myself and second guessing everything. I also think I felt so conflicted because in the back of my mind, I had this imaginary number, it almost felt like, like counting down. Like, okay, so if I delay the process one year now, then I'm going to get pregnant when I'm about, you know, 31. And so then now I'm not having a baby until I'm 32.

• 39:14Alex Cooper?

  And ideally, if I'm able to get pregnant, like, I don't want one. I want, I would want more than one. And so then I'm like, and I'm doing all this like fucking math in my head. And I, I think I started to like, get so anxious and panicked. And I started to feel like it was all just like getting away from me. And I was losing this precious time. And it was this all encompassing, overwhelming feeling. And so of course I had moments, I'll admit, when I started to think, fuck it. Just try and suck it up. Like maybe once I'm pregnant, I'll feel differently.

• 39:55Alex Cooper?

  But then I always came back to like, I just know myself and I know in my gut, like,

• 40:02Alex Cooper?

  I need more time.

• 40:20Alex Cooper?

  This is a paid ad by BetterHelp. I always think it is so important to find time to take care of myself because I think self-care for me, a lot of times is getting some alone time, even if it's just go on a 10 minute walk outside. Self-care can obviously look different at different stages of life. And the ways that we practice it often evolve over time. But one possible way to take care of yourself is through therapy. Therapy with BetterHelp, one of the leading online therapy platforms, can be a space to prioritize your mental health, reflect on where you are and check in with yourself. With over 30,000 therapists worldwide, BetterHelp has served millions of people globally. BetterHelp makes it easier to fit therapy into your routine with flexible ways to connect that work for different schedules and lifestyles.

• 41:05Alex Cooper?

  Plus, BetterHelp therapists have at least three years and 1,000 hours of hands-on experience, and they hold required education, training, and certifications. You can meet with a range of professionals from marriage and family therapists to social workers, counselors, you name it, they have it. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/daddy. That's betterh-e-l-p.com/daddy. Daddy gang, did you know the average person has to send out 51 resumes just to try to land a job? It is insane and it's a lot of work, but honestly, I believe that, right? I remember when I got my first job out of college,

• 41:49Alex Cooper?

  I literally spent months applying and applying and applying and then applying. And the worst part is you can spend all this time finding the right role, fixing your resume, writing the application, and then you might not even hear back, right? And it is so frustrating because you're like, okay, I know I would be so great for this job, but how do I actually get them to even notice me? That is where ZipRecruiter comes in, my friends, okay? ZipRecruiter matches you up with the right job in minutes, and their new feature even lets your application be seen first by employers. You can try it out by going to ziprecruiter.com/daddy. It is such a game changer, guys. When you apply for a job, you can be seen first.

• 42:34Alex Cooper?

  Just tell the employer why you're interested in the role, and your application jumps to the top of their list. No matter where you are in your career journey, make your application be seen first only on ZipRecruiter. Try it out now by going to this exclusive web address, ziprecruiter.com/daddy. Again, that's ziprecruiter.com/daddy. And so, all of this was going through my head and I was spiraling. And so, I knew I needed to tell Matt. I wasn't nervous about his reaction because I know the man that I married is always going

• 43:14Alex Cooper?

  to support me. I think if anything, I was, it was, it was almost like I was more hesitant to speak it into existence because I don't know, like,

• 43:32Alex Cooper?

  I feel like I'm a very certain person. And I'll be honest, I felt very

• 43:41Alex Cooper?

  disoriented about how uncertain I felt about this one thing in my life.

• 43:48Alex Cooper?

  And also, I knew Matt was ready. And although I knew he wouldn't ever show it, of course, he was going to have some level of disappointment on his end. And so, I told him all of this. We, I remember we were just like sitting, eating dinner at our house one night, and I just kind of word vomited it all. I was like, Matt, I know you know that I've been like, thinking about this, but I need you to like, really understand what I've been thinking and what I'm going through and like, what I'm thinking about. And it always makes me emotional because I remember I'm like going on and on and on like I do. And that Matt literally

• 44:32Alex Cooper?

  like grabbed me and like, put me on his lap. And he was like, look at me. Oh my God, I'm gonna cry. Um, he was like, look at me, Alex, how long have you been carrying this? He was like, I love you so much. When it is the right time, it will be the right time. I love you and I will support you no matter fucking what.

• 45:00Alex Cooper?

  And, oh my God. Um, I'm just so

• 45:07Alex Cooper?

  beyond grateful that Matt could not have been more supportive. He is,

• 45:15Alex Cooper?

  he is truly the best partner to me. And he is so loving and supportive and selfless. And I know he is going to be, oh my God, okay.

• 45:27Alex Cooper?

  I know he's gonna be the most incredible father to our babies, but

• 45:35Alex Cooper?

  I realized

• 45:39Alex Cooper?

  I need more time.

• 45:43Alex Cooper?

  And that's tough to

• 45:46Alex Cooper?

  say out loud, but

• 45:51Alex Cooper?

  I realized I need time to live a little more before I enter the next beautiful chapter of my life. And I'm in no way saying I have to stop everything once I'm a mom. If anything, what I'm saying is I want to be so fucking present. I want to be capable of being the mom to my children that my mom was to me and my siblings. My mom worked. She was so motivated in her career and she still gave us everything we needed and more.

• 46:28Alex Cooper?

  And so I just felt in my body that I want to grind at work and I want to be selfish a little longer. I want to enjoy what I've worked so fucking hard for. I want to go on a weekend trip with my husband and fuck and have no responsibilities after the longest work week. I want to throw unwell parties after a million meetings that week, get on a plane and go fly and have drinks with the daddy gang. I want to host events where we get to talk and connect and meet and celebrate everything we've built, which is this gorgeous, incredible community of women. And so this past year,

• 47:14Alex Cooper?

  that's what I've been doing. I've been being selfish and I've been living.

• 47:22Alex Cooper?

  And another thing I recognize is that life is so annoyingly unpredictable. And I sit here and say that I want to wait a little longer, but who fucking knows, right? Like, no life is perfect or ever goes as fucking planned. And I pray to God I can even get pregnant when I start trying. It may potentially be such a long road for me and my husband when we do decide the time is right. But we will cross that bridge together when we get there. So for now, I'm in my newlywed era.

• 48:07Alex Cooper?

  I'm enjoying this current phase of my life. It's been almost a year since I pushed back my timeline. So just reminding you all, like, this isn't happening. This didn't just happen. This was a year ago that I made this decision. And, you know, who knows when I'll decide the time is right to start trying. But if I can

• 48:31Alex Cooper?

  give you any advice, Daddy Gang, from everything that I've just been kind of experiencing and living out this past year is like, the thing about timelines is they can be helpful.

• 48:47Alex Cooper?

  But I also don't think we can let them dictate our lives. I have talked so much about timelines on this show because I genuinely believe that there is just so much more pressure on women regarding when they should be hitting certain milestones in their lives. And so there may be some women listening who, maybe you're the first generation in your family and who doesn't want kids. And maybe there is this intense pressure that you're feeling from your parents or your in-laws or whoever to get pregnant. My advice is just remember,

• 49:20Alex Cooper?

  You know yourself best. At the end of the day, only you have to live with the choices that you make about your life. That is way more stressful, in my opinion, than sticking to some like dumbass arbitrary made up timeline. Or you're like mother-in-law bitching. Like, no, no, no, it's okay. It's your life. How do you want it to play out? And even when it comes to relationships, like, I think getting fixated on a timeline is only going to box you in and make you feel stressed. There may be some of you listening right now who are engaged, but something

• 50:01Alex Cooper?

  in your gut is telling you that they're not the right person. But maybe you stay because you already, whether it's you already put the down payment on your wedding, or your families get along, and you feel like you've invested too much time. There's no way that I could start over. I get it. It's hard. But my advice is don't be short sighted. Fuck the plan. Fuck the timeline. You can start over with anything at any point in your life. Whether it's moving to a new city, you're ending a relationship, you want to get out of a job you're miserable at, or you're pushing back when you want to have kids.

• 50:43Alex Cooper?

  I feel like we have this story in our head that we tell ourselves about why we can't make certain changes.

• 50:54Alex Cooper?

  Timelines, yes, they can help us feel safe and comfortable, like we have structure, and maybe like we have a sense of security. But the minute a timeline daddy gang starts to make you feel anxious or stuck, please be honest with yourself and check in with yourself, because I think that's when you really need to start reevaluating. As difficult as it was to want to get pregnant and then need to pause, I look back and I am so fucking grateful that all of that happened. Because changing the timeline allowed me to really look inward and recognize that I wasn't ready. And that's okay. So.

• 51:42Alex Cooper?

  For now, um, I still have things in my life that I want to do before having kids and I'm gonna let myself do them. I'm gonna enjoy it. And I think especially to any of the women listening, there is something, I feel like we all have like an aversion to the word like, be selfish. And because I feel like that's just not what we're taught to do. Don't be selfish. Like, what do you fucking mean be selfish? And it felt odd for me to lean into that concept. But I don't know if you guys, well, I guess you probably have seen on social media, like, I've been bopping around and I'm throwing these parties and I'm having so much fun. Cause I'm like, bitch, I'm living and it doesn't mean you can't live. Once you have kids, it's

• 52:26Alex Cooper?

  just your life is different in a beautiful way. And so I'm having the fucking time of my life. Like Matt and I have so many plans for this summer. And we were definitely like, oh, we're doing like a little bit more than we usually would in traveling or like going with our friends places and partying and having fun. And then we both just keep looking at each other being like, let's just fucking go and do it. This is what this year is for. And we still will do those things, but it will just look different when we are able to hopefully like build a family. So Daddy Yang, I guess I will leave you with, choose yourself and choose what's right for you. And just know that I love you and I'm so grateful

• 53:11Alex Cooper?

  that I feel comfortable to share all this with you. And again, thank you for always supporting me. Had I come on a year ago and said all of this when I was going through it, I think that it would have been a little bit of a disaster and I would have felt, I don't know, I just, I'm glad that I waited and I, I kept this to myself for a little bit because I feel like I now have a perspective that hopefully will be helpful to other women listening. And if you guys have more questions, obviously DM me and I can do more follow up solos. But I love you guys so much. And I will see you fuckers next Wednesday. Goodbye.

• 54:08Alex Cooper?

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• 54:51Alex Cooper?

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• 55:34Alex Cooper?

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