Unreliable Boyfriends & Unexpected Proposals

This week, Alex talks about the pressure to rush a relationship just to hit the next milestone and what to do when your partner proposes before you’re ready. She also gets into dating someone who overpromises, dealing with a significant other who flirts with everyone, and even what to do when he lasts a little too long... Plus, Alex talks about navigating friendship fallouts and when it’s worth getting on a plane to visit a crush. Enjoy!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Alex Cooper?

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• 0:45Alex Cooper?

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• 1:08Speaker 01

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• 1:38Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Uber. Uber just introduced a new feature called Women Preferences, which lets women riders request a woman driver directly in the app. It's honestly an amazing feature that gives women more control over their rides. Sometimes we all just want a ride that feels a little more comfortable and chill. So if you haven't used it yet, Uber's new Women Preferences feature is available now in the Uber app. Learn more on the Uber app. Daddy gang, welcome back to another Sunday session. You know, I was thinking about it this morning, and this is how you know you're just getting older, because I never thought that I would say this, but Sundays for me, it's like, oof, another extra day in the

• 2:20Alex Cooper?

  weekend to just relax. Because Saturdays, I'm not hitting it, you know? I'm not hitting it like I used to. Obviously, I'm currently pregnant, but like, I'm not going out. And my entire life, it has felt like Saturdays are to die. Saturdays are high school, college, you're drinking, you're active, you're with your friends, you're on a bar floor, you're at a man's apartment in Southie, waking up, your phone's dead, you don't know how to get home. Like, I did just randomly remember that story oddly, because I don't know what made me think of it. I think I saw a girl's TikTok. I had a random night in Southie, Boston,

• 3:01Alex Cooper?

  in college. Ooh, don't, I was gonna say, take me back, don't take me back. It is a Sunday morning. I am leaving this man's apartment. I want to get out of there as fast as I humanly possibly can. I'm looking at him, and I'm not even regretting it. I just am like, I know I'm breaking out. I know the extensions are like half clipped in. I know that the face, I didn't wash it, so it's like probably half club makeup, half like the other side of my face looks. We've got pale and then we have orange. And so I just escape and I run out. It is like 20 degree weather in Boston, and I'm standing on the curb and I'm waiting for my Uber and my phone dies. And I'm like, oh, and I'm looking

• 3:46Alex Cooper?

  like a full, I am looking like I have been working all night, okay? And I'm on that corner. And it was one of those moments where I cried and I sat on the side of the road because I didn't know how to contact the man back upstairs. I didn't know what to do. I'm in Southie. I really don't know where the fuck I am. I'm so far from BU, the college that I went to. And then finally, this really, really nice man is like, ma'am, are you okay? He definitely didn't call me ma'am. I'm rewriting history there. He's like, hey, you whore, are you okay? I'm like, no, sir, I'm not okay. He let me use his phone. I called another Uber. I got into my Uber and I went to class. I went to class.

• 4:28Alex Cooper?

  And if I can find the picture, I will post it because it is me in stiletto strap up heels. I'm wearing the man's large t-shirt from the night before. I forgot my dress because I couldn't find it and we didn't have time to find the dress. And I think it was like a dress from Wet Seal. It was maybe $12 and it had gotten the perfect use out of it. And then I had my oversized winter coat. So I zipped up my winter coat that was like knee length with my stilettos and my fucked up hair. And I walked, I think it was sign language class. I walk, well, barely walk, strut in in my heels to sign language class. My ex-boyfriend, who also happened to be in that class with me, looked

• 5:13Alex Cooper?

  me up and down and was like, it was the best decision he ever made to stay away from me. And I just remember smelling my hair. It was like, mm, that's Burnett's vodka. I just, oh, I just remember being like, I need to, I need to get through this sign language class and I need to head on home. And I need to do a lot of praying. I need to do a couple Hail Marys, Our Fathers, active contrition. I need to make sure that I'm set right before I do it all again tonight. So that's what my Saturdays used to look like. And it was basically the same when I lived in New York City. Now, full circle, or I guess it's not

• 5:55Alex Cooper?

  full circle, it's a semi-circle because I'm not full circling it. Now my Saturdays are what they write about in the wholesome books, okay? I am so wholesome. I'm, I'm doing family time every Saturday. I'm at the park with my dogs. I'm doing a home-cooked meal that my dad made us and we're all sitting around the fire pit and we're telling stories of the good old days from our childhood on the cul-de-sac. Like, and then I'm waking up on Sunday, fully refreshed. And even if I'm not pregnant, like, I'm not hungover and I'm feeling good. And maybe that's what your 30s is about. I don't know. Maybe most 30 year olds are like, Alex, no, I'm still hitting that club. But for me, I don't know, man,

• 6:40Alex Cooper?

  maybe I just like drank myself into oblivion in my twenties. And I did start early. I did start a little, I started, I did, I think I, yeah, I think I, this is not to be, you know, this is not one of those podcasts where I'm like, do as I say. Don't do as I say. I think I had my first drink when I was in seventh grade. It wasn't like a drink, you know, it was just like a, let's try alcohol for the first time. But yeah, so I started early. High school, I was having fun. So now, I'm like an old person, like alcohol doesn't affect me like it used to. And I just like to have a little Sancerre and look off into the distance when I'm allowed to drink. So anyways, yeah, so my Sundays are

• 7:20Alex Cooper?

  calm, cool, and collected. So I hope if you are younger me right now, and you were at the bottom of the barrel last night, you got, you got kicked out of the club, maybe you got punched in the head at the club, maybe you got fucked at the club, maybe you cried your eyes out because your ex showed up with another broad, whatever it was, just know it's gonna be okay because I am not hungover and I am going to carry you through this Sunday session like the father I am. You are in the best of hands today, okay? And so you don't need to say any prayers. You don't need to ask for forgiveness. I am going to do the repenting for you because I can emotionally handle that. You just sit

• 8:05Alex Cooper?

  back, relax, put a little cold compress on your head, and just listen to the sound of my voice as I answer some of your questions that I find very universally, hopefully relatable, some of the ones that I picked. I think you're gonna like them. So let's get into it, okay? One, two, three. Here we go.

• 8:44Alex Cooper?

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• 9:25Alex Cooper?

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• 10:10Alex Cooper?

  for big events. Listen, hot girl energy, hot mom energy, whatever era you're in, Revolve has the outfit for it. Revolve has the hottest brands, new arrivals dropping daily, and pieces you'll wear over and over again. Go to revolve.com/chd and use code CHD for 15% off your order. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Ritual. It seems like everything is connected to your gut microbiome. Don't you feel like that, guys? We're just hearing that constantly. Like, well, it always goes back to the gut health. And I'm like, oh, okay. So it's the gut health. But did you know the gut microbiome shifts during pregnancy? Yeah, these are the things I've recently learned, guys. And these shifts can impact mom and baby's health in pregnancy and postpartum. Yes, these are things

• 10:55Alex Cooper?

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• 11:37Alex Cooper?

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• 12:05Alex Cooper?

  First question, a friendship question, which all of us can relate to. So someone wrote in and said, "I had a huge falling out with my best friend a few years ago after I told her in confidence that I was struggling with my friendship. And she ended up telling several people in our friend group. I felt completely betrayed and we stopped speaking. We recently reconnected and I really miss her. And she seems to have grown a lot since then. But how do you know when someone has actually changed and it's worth giving a friendship a second chance?" Oh, that's a hard one. I think my initial reaction to this is friendship is so incredible,

• 12:45Alex Cooper?

  and it is one of the most genuine, truest forms of a gift you can ever have in life, especially I think as women. But I will say, I think as you get older and you experience things, like, we fuck up. And I'm not saying that it's okay to fuck your friend over. Trust me, I'm, this girl, I'm pissed at her for what she did to you. But I think we lose sight of how important certain things are to certain people because we're so wrapped up in ourselves. And I'm assuming you're like, maybe in your twenties and you're going through this, right? And she's got a lot on her plate. She was at dinner. She mentioned it. And I, I have to believe if this was such a good friend of yours, I really don't believe there are that many like horrible people out in the

• 13:27Alex Cooper?

  world trying to be vindictive, right? So I think she made a really fucked up, bad decision. And I'm sure one night, or one day, or whatever it was, she said something about the relationship and she absolutely shouldn't have said that. And she fucked up. And it's not okay. And she should be held accountable for that. And clearly you guys took a break and you haven't talked in a while. But I do believe, especially with friendship, like, there has to be some give and take. And if they keep fucking you over, that's one thing. Then this person needs to be out of your life. But it feels like this was like a fuck up on her part. And everything else, though, you do love about her, you're just like, how did you do this to me? And I think you now need to just almost go into it. Don't have your eyes closed. Give her another chance. And I think you should

• 14:11Alex Cooper?

  say that. Like, I really missed you and what you did really hurt me. And I want to trust you again. And I want to go back to how we were. And I just need to know that you know why that impacted me and why that hurt me so much. And if this girl's like, girl, I fucked up so bad. I regret it to this day. I will never do that to you again. Then I think you can move forward with the relationship. I do think as much as people don't like to hear that, I think a lot of times with younger friendships and younger, I literally mean teens, twenties, thirties, we are so self-involved in those years. We are trying to figure out our lives. We're trying to figure out our situation. She could have just been not thinking about you and was thinking about herself and just threw it

• 14:53Alex Cooper?

  out there. And then she fucked you over. Not okay, but not someone that's like trying to backstab you actively and like, fuck your boyfriend. You know what I mean? There is a big difference there. When people want to take their friend back that fucked their boyfriend behind their back, I would have a very different answer. But this is just someone that was a little loose lipped. And girls love to gossip. Girls love to say things. And sometimes we forget what the actual repercussions are and how it's actually going to affect and hurt the other person. And so she needed that wake up call, I think, give it another chance. But overall, that shit is so tough. I feel like that was like my life in college. Like, you tell someone something and then it gets back to you. And to some degree, you're like, oh, my God, I fucking hate you right now. But also, like,

• 15:37Alex Cooper?

  are we going to the dining hall at five o'clock? And again, I know it's different in every aspect of your life of where you're at, but it feels like this was, it was a strike on her report card. And if she does it again, she fails and she's out. Okay, next. "My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2.5 years and he's a bit of an overpromiser in terms of sometimes he'll say, we will take a trip and then we don't, or we'll go to a particular dinner and then we don't. I don't think he has bad intentions, just really bad planning skills. Do you think this is worth bringing up?" Absolutely. That would annoy the shit out of me. If my partner was constantly selling

• 16:20Alex Cooper?

  me these ideas and these dreams and like, I'm sorry, but a dream is a dinner. Okay. For me, a dream is a dinner. If you're telling me that we're going to go get a chicken parm on a Friday night, I am like, I'm prepping what I'm eating in the morning. I'm preparing mentally. I'm probably looking at the menu at 7:00 AM to be like, not even 7:00 AM, 7:00 PM the night before. Okay. I love a plan of like, ooh, I'm going to go do this, this, and this. And like, ooh, what kind of cocktails I got? And ooh, what kind of appetizers they got? What's my outfit going to be? Oh, my God, I just bought that really cute new top from da, da, da. Like, I can't wait to wear that. So when you have someone telling you something and then constantly going back on it, you're going to start also just to resent your partner because you're getting told something that you're obviously going

• 17:03Alex Cooper?

  to look forward to because it's individual time with your partner. It's bonding time. It's, it's one-on-one time. And that's how you build a relationship. And the fact that he keeps not following through on that stuff, eventually you're going to be like, what, what is our relationship if we don't have a foundation that when you tell me we're going to do something, we never do it? So I do think you can bring it up. I don't need, think you need to be like laying the hammer down of like, you never follow through, Jared. Time's up, buddy. If we don't go to dinner on Friday, I'm done with you. I think it's a ease in conversation of, hey, I wanted to talk to you about something. I love that you're always trying to plan things, but I do think there's been a

• 17:45Alex Cooper?

  pattern that I'm starting to see that a lot of times you don't follow through on those plans. And I want you to know how it affects me. It makes me sad. I love you. I want to go do these things with you. And some of the ideas that you always have, I'm so excited about. I can't wait to go do them with you and be together. And when it keeps following through, I feel like you're not prioritizing me and our relationship. And I feel shitty about things. And so I'm hoping, I would almost rather us not have as many plans that you're making. And the ones that you do plan, you make sure you follow through on. Because let me tell you something, sweetheart. It starts with this, right? Maybe he's the frat boy. Maybe, maybe you're in your early twenties. Maybe you're

• 18:29Alex Cooper?

  out of college, right? That is not a characteristic that you want in a husband. And then playing it off like, oh, not that big of a deal. And you're like, it was a big deal. Okay. Because I had the opportunity to eat the chicken parm with my mother at lunch on the Tuesday, but I didn't because I knew we were going on Friday. And now I'm pissed. Now I'm pissed. And it's not about the chicken parm. Can you guys tell I'm like craving a chicken parm right now? Hi, pregnancy. It's all I've been thinking about. Literally, I go to bed dreaming of a chicken parm. That may be my first meal in the hospital. Matt, take notes. Trust me, I already did a shared notes with him of all the foods that I will be eating and consuming the minute I give birth to this child. So anyways, yeah, I think bring it up to him. I don't think it can hurt. And I think if he is weird about it,

• 19:14Alex Cooper?

  I think that's a red flag of like, why are you overpromising and beyond underdelivering? I'm a queen. Bow down, bitch. Take me to dinner. Okay, next. Um, oh, this one's really interesting. Okay. "My partner is naturally charming and engaging, but sometimes it comes across as flirting. And other people respond like there's an opening. They insist they're doing nothing wrong and say, that's just how I talk. If both I and the other person are interpreting it as flirtatious, does their intent matter more than how it's landing? How do we resolve this when we can't agree on what's happening?"

• 19:53Alex Cooper?

  I don't give a fuck about your intent bitch boy. Okay. I don't care if you're like, I wasn't really flirted. Listen, if enough people, the general consensus in the room is your boyfriend is coming off like that, then he needs to correct himself. And I think that him getting defensive over it is weird to me because if you approach your partner and be like, wait, all these people are saying this, he, his first response, in my opinion, should be like, oh my God, I literally can't, I, I am so sorry. That is like not at all what I was trying to do. And I'm like mortified that they even think I would be flirting with them because I only have eyes for you. That's whoa. Okay. I need to adjust my behavior. There is accountability

• 20:38Alex Cooper?

  that needs to be had. And I think I've, oh, I've had a lot of people write this in of like, when is your partner too flirtier, has a wandering eye? When someone tries to say, it's just my personality. Oh, okay. Well, then it's your personality to be a big, big flirt and a big hoe. Okay. Then go do that and don't be in a relationship. There is a lack of respect that comes with that because what he's not understanding is totally, totally Bobby, it's your personality. You're just having a little flirt. Cool. Well, guess how that makes me look? Guess how that makes me feel when I'm in a room and my friends are coming to me being like, yo, Bobby's flirting it up again. And you're like, hey, Bobby, you're three Micheladas deep and somehow you're giving

• 21:23Alex Cooper?

  my friend the idea that you want to be a fist deep also in her. Okay. We need to lock it in, Bobby. Do you want that? Or are you just an idiot acting that way? And I, I feel like sometimes what frustrates me is you are weaponizing like, oh, I don't know. It's just my personality. At some point, okay, that's fine to say once. So now change it. Because who would want their personality to be disrespecting their partner, to be making other people feel uncomfortable in a room and to be giving the wrong impression? Because if you actually aren't flirting with them, why would you ever want them to think that you're flirting with them? Aren't you okay just making slight little tweaks to your said personality in order to make everyone feel more comfortable?

• 22:07Alex Cooper?

  No, Bobby? No? No? Mm hmm. I see right through you, Bobby. So yeah, you need to bring that up with B O B and we gotta just, we gotta shut this shit down. But I, I'm gonna be honest, girl, like, I don't love a wandering eye partner for a flirtatious kind of person where the immediate response isn't like, oh my God, I'm mortified. I'm so sorry. If it's not that, I fear sometimes it will never change. Cause why do you have to beg this person that you're in love with to respect you? And I know that he would be like, he's not going to see it as respect. That's what we're talking about. I'm asking you to have some respect for me. The immediate answer should be,

• 22:53Alex Cooper?

  I will litter, I will change immediately. I'm so sorry. And if it's not that, it's a red flag. Okay. Next. Hi Daddy. I have been talking to this guy I met through a mutual friend for the past month or so. He lives in New York City and I live in Boston and he offered me to come visit him for the weekend. Going into this, how do I know there's enough foundation there to spend a whole weekend together? Do you have any tips on how to approach the weekend overall? Honey, you're talking to a reformed, what would the word be? I got miles. Okay. I got miles on me. Okay. I was flying all over the country at one point before Maddie locked it down. I,

• 23:37Alex Cooper?

  in college, was definitely flying to see some men that I would be dating. I often would take, take a risk, take a chance and get on the plane and go meet a man that one, I had never met in person before. That's literally psychotic, but sometimes it actually ended up working out really well. And sometimes it was horrific. So let me think back to give you some pointers on how I could have known and what were some of the flags and red flags or whatever. So some of the times that I got on a plane to visit a man and it actually ended up working out to give you some advice would be lots of FaceTimes prior, um, lots of conversations also on the phone or FaceTime

• 24:20Alex Cooper?

  where you were able to actually have like that moment together where there's silence and you're like making your sandwich or he's like doing something and you're still on the phone together and it's not awkward. I think that allows you to see like, oh, we really vibe with each other. And this is, we're comfortable with each other in a way that doesn't feel like we have to be so fucking on right now. And we're like, uh, okay, uh, bye. And it's like an awkward dance that you're doing. I found that the amount of time that I spent talking to them prior to getting on the plane allowed me to feel way more comfortable when I showed up because we had inside jokes, we had things that we had talked about for hours and I wasn't meeting a stranger. Also,

• 25:05Alex Cooper?

  I think there needs to be a little bit of like, uh, how many times has this person asked you to come? In my opinion, I never just like jumped at the first invite, right? I wanted to actually know, like, this motherfucker actually wants me on that plane. And so maybe it was the first time I would kind of be like, oh, sorry, I'm not going to be able to because my schedule's a little tight and I can't make it that weekend. And then I would wait to see if he would follow up. I would wait to see if he would be like, hey, like, I know we couldn't make it work that weekend, but I'm actually going to be available this weekend with this work for you. So it's showing that this wasn't a, oh shit, all my friends are out of town this weekend. My other girlfriend's

• 25:48Alex Cooper?

  out of town this weekend and I have nothing to do. You gotta read those context clues of like, is this a persistent person who's really trying to find a weekend, no matter what is happening in his life and your life to actually make it work. Um, because honey, I have been there. Okay. Where I was on the other side of it, where I started to look around, I'm like, none of the friends are in town this week and uh, it's not much going on in town this weekend. Uh, we haven't really left the apartment this weekend. Uh, huh. And no wonder he really wanted me to come on the 16th specifically and get out on the 18th specifically. You could start to see, you know what I mean?

• 26:29Alex Cooper?

  So just read those context clues. Is he down for you to come whenever? Or do you have a small window? And if you don't hit that window, a whole semester could go by before you get another invite. I will also say, um, I had one of, one of the bigger disasters that I experienced was I traveled, I traveled from actually, I think it was Pennsylvania to New York City, or it was Boston to New York City to see a hockey player at the time. And I was an idiot and I had been talking to him mostly texting. I think we had like a couple FaceTimes, but primarily when I was either drunk or he was

• 27:13Alex Cooper?

  drunk or he was out and it was dark and like it was always nighttime and it was a little like, oh, like, well, we've never talked in the morning. Um, and I just thought he was so adorable and cute and I wanted Rangers tickets naturally because I knew, you know, after college, I'll probably be moving there. Anyways, uh, I got there and it was one of the more uncomfortable situations. Like you guys, when I tell you, I got to his apartment, he wasn't answering. I'm like carrying my pink little suitcase like, hello, like, where are you? And he's not answering his phone. Um, he knew what time I was arriving. Turns out he was at a bar with his friends. And I was like, hey, um,

• 27:53Alex Cooper?

  I'm here. And he's like, oh, like we're down at like Spotted Pig or whatever. Like, I'll be back in like 15 minutes. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, like totally cool. Totally cool. Guys, like I'm sitting on the side of the road, literally just traveled all the way for this man and I'm feeling like an idiot. The minute I felt that I knew it was going to be a disaster. It's like your gut immediately knows, oh my God, this person's not actually taking this seriously. Cause guess what? He got up that morning. He probably jerked off. He brushed his teeth. He went and had lunch with his mother or his girlfriend or whoever, and he was with his boys and then they went to the bar. He had to change nothing in his routine. And I had to get

• 28:36Alex Cooper?

  on a train with my big luggage and haul it across New York City and go through Penn Station. Okay. And pick up a little sausage, hot dog on the way out. And I'm like starving and I'm sweating and it's the middle of summer and I'm miserable. And I show up and the man's not even there. And then yeah, to spare you the details, it wasn't great. Um, I got into his apartment eventually and he was a certifiable asshole. I felt so uncomfortable the whole time. The minute I even got there, it was like instinctual. I actually ended up like texting some of my friends that I knew lived in New York being like, you around this weekend? Like, any chance I could like, you

• 29:18Alex Cooper?

  know, sleep on your couch? Maybe? Because I just had a feeling like, there is a world I'm gonna go to the club with this man. He's gonna leave with a different woman and I'm gonna have to knock, knock and get my luggage bag and be like, um, it's me again. The person that you literally invited to come stay with you. Remember me? So yeah, I got myself in a lot of shitty situations, but I learned from it. And so it feels like, not to freak you out, but you will know in your heart if you actually are far along enough with this person to get on a plane to go visit them. Do you even know what their apartment looks like? Do you know what I mean? Like when you are on video call or calling, whatever it is, has he sent you pictures? Do you know where he lives?

• 30:00Alex Cooper?

  Do you know the situation you're walking into? Does he make you feel like you're welcome?

• 30:06Alex Cooper?

  But you know, sometimes the ones where you're not welcome, they do make for some of the best stories.

• 30:27Alex Cooper?

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• 31:11Alex Cooper?

  I grew up with Haagen-Dazs in my house every single night. My family and I would eat our favorite flavors. I'm obsessed with the Cherry Dark Chocolate Bar. Those flavors together, I couldn't be happier. I'm gonna watch my favorite TV shows and I'm gonna be eating that. Boom, done. Take your sweet time. That's Dazs. Available at retailers nationwide. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. Okay, so picture this. You are sitting down for a dinner on a first date. Drinks are ordered, food's on the way, and you're actually excited about this person. But now it's time. We've done the small talk and now we have to ask this man the real hard questions.

• 31:54Alex Cooper?

  Like, are you looking for something serious? Have you had a girlfriend before? Do you have a headboard? Or are you still rocking navy blue sheets? You gotta ask the right questions early to see if someone is actually right for you, right? And Daddy Gang, the same thing goes for hiring. That is why you need ZipRecruiter. When you post a job, ZipRecruiter suggests screening questions to help you basically find top candidates faster. And today, you can try it for free at ziprecruiter.com/daddy. No wonder ZipRecruiter is the number one rated hiring site based on G2. Ask questions and hire faster with ZipRecruiter.

• 32:36Alex Cooper?

  Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at ziprecruiter.com/daddy. That's ziprecruiter.com/daddy. Meet your match on ZipRecruiter. Hey Daddy, me and my boyfriend have been together for five months now. I love him so much and he treats me great. But today, before he left for golf, he couldn't find his watch. He started screaming, throwing things, slamming drawers, and having a temper tantrum over this. I've never seen him so angry. I was genuinely scared.

• 33:16Alex Cooper?

  He apologized, but I can't help but wonder how he would react in an actual upsetting situation. How do I address this?

• 33:25Alex Cooper?

  Okay, that is not great. It's interesting because I just wanted to triple check. So you've been together for five months. I feel like the five-month, six-month mark is such a

• 33:38Alex Cooper?

  moment in a relationship. Like, when you hit that six to eight months, I feel like you really start to see who someone is and their honest, true side of themselves starts to come out. My worry for you is like, the fact that you said, "I was genuinely scared," and this was over a watch, I agree with you. I think that your gut instinct is right of like, wait a second. Why is this man going so off the rails because he can't find his watch? And you're seeing this like anger within him that you have never seen before. So clearly you guys have never gotten in a fight. And I think something I always say to my friends, because I lived it when I was starting in relationships,

• 34:22Alex Cooper?

  is like, you really start to see who someone is when you do have your first disagreement. Like, I don't think you can just move in with someone and, and fall in love and live happily ever after until you have a disagreement with someone. And you see how you guys come back from arguments or disagreements and hard times, right? And the fact that this is clearly one of the first times you've ever seen him get heated, because it feels like maybe you guys haven't had any fights. My red flag goes up for you where it's like, this was over a watch. Imagine when it is a little bit bigger, which is basically anything in the world. Literally, this man can't find his fucking watch. He doesn't think anyone stole it. He just can't find it.

• 35:04Alex Cooper?

  He doesn't know which drawer he left it in, and he's getting so heated and angry and like throwing things and getting physical to the point where it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What is happening here? So my advice to you is, anytime as a woman, your gut instinct is, "I feel unsafe and this doesn't feel right." I'm not saying that maybe this guy had a really horrible off moment and this is like, he's never acted this way in his life. That could be. Unfortunately, I just think statistically that men that are aggressive like that, that is not the first time they've done it, and it's not the last time they're gonna do it.

• 35:44Alex Cooper?

  And so I'm not trying to like freak you out, but I do think you can't let this go, at least for yourself. I don't think you need to bring this up in a way that is gonna cause him to freak out on you even more. Maybe also you're not having this conversation in complete private with him. Maybe it's, you guys are at a brunch, you're in a quiet corner, and you just say, "Hey, I was thinking about it and the other night, or the other day, when you couldn't find your watch, I felt like I saw a side of you that I have never seen." And I'll be honest, the level that it got to and the physicality, like, it scared me. And I, I have never seen that side of you before. And I was worried, like, is this a part of you that I, I haven't seen?

• 36:29Alex Cooper?

  And is this something that I need to like, look out for? And I think, again, so much of life is reading people's vibe, right? If this man is like, Stacy, I am so mortified and sorry. Also, keep in mind though, like, if his answer's too good. But if it's something along the lines of like, he needs to justify why it happened, right? Like, to be honest, I, that is my grandfather's watch that he gave me before he died. And I am so attached to it, and I thought I lost it. And I started to, literally, I felt like was having a panic attack, something like that. You're like, okay, maybe, still not okay, but like, I'm gonna give you another chance here.

• 37:12Alex Cooper?

  If he's like, "I'm so sorry it freaked you out, like, it will never happen again." Yeah, words are one thing, let's now see the actions follow up. But if he's like, I mean, dude, like, it's not that big of a deal. Like, I just was like pissed off because I couldn't find my watch. Like, I, it's kind of crazy for you to say you were scared. Downplaying your feelings, I do think you need to watch out for. And again, also as a woman, the men that are sweet talkers, if he's like, babe, "Oh my gosh, that'll never happen again, that's not me, you know me," also watch out for that. And so I get it's hard, but you literally have to go with your gut on this one. At the end of the day, anything when it comes to physical with men, I personally just,

• 37:56Alex Cooper?

  I would remove myself or distance myself. Um, but you have to do what's right for you, but please be careful. Also, maybe tell one of your friends, and I know it's early and you're five months in, so you're probably sharing all the good stuff. But I do think that this is how those type of relationships can also start, right? Like, we downplay something and we're like, it was just a one-off. And then the next time it happens, are you gonna downplay it again, right? And so I think sometimes keeping yourself honest and having one friend that you can tell that you're like, "I'm just putting this on your radar, I think, I'm, like, I like him, obsessed with a lot of things about him, but like, this one little thing just like, kind of freaked me out.

• 38:37Alex Cooper?

  I don't need your judgment, I just want you to like, keep me accountable if this ever happens again." Um, okay, next. I started seeing this guy, and we've had sex quite a few times now. He lasts so long, too long, which is fine, but this, not so much. He goes on for about two to three hours. I can't keep doing these long sessions, babe, me either. How do I approach this conversation? Oh my God, wait, that's like literally my nightmare. Oh my God, two to three hours. Oh wow, okay, listen, there's like,

• 39:20Alex Cooper?

  you know, first of all, it's like, for me personally, listen, some of you may be just like freaks, like, three hours, let's go. It, for, for me personally, I could never, like, that's just too fucking long. Um, I think there's moments in a relationship, right? If you're like on vacation or you're having a big night together and it's like, you do it and then you go get your, like, you lay in bed and whatever, then you do it again later. And it's like, oh, like, we're like having a fun marathon tonight. But that's like, once every quarter, right? Like, not even, to have it be every single time that you and this man are intimate, that this is a two-to-three-hour-long marathon? This is as long as the movie The Odyssey?

• 40:03Alex Cooper?

  You are, you are putting in work for that long? I am so sorry, I, whoa, okay, but you need to solve this. I think you've gotta be honest and maybe make a light joke of it, because obviously it is a little uncomfortable. I do think you can just say to him, "Hey, Roberto, um, I am so attracted to you. I, literally, our sex is amazing." I'm gonna be honest, though.

• 40:37Alex Cooper?

  She gets a little tired. She gets a little tired. I think we're gonna have to spice in some more sessions that are cut in half shorter. Okay. Sometimes, sometimes I am looking for a little quickie. Sometimes I'm looking for a little one, two, bang, bang, and then like we both get ours and it's done. And I'm not saying I'm like not down for a fun little sex marathon, but I think we gotta, I think I gotta preserve and protect my girl because she's getting a little tired. And I think you could start with humor. Again, everyone's gonna be different. I, I just don't see how, I mean, this man is not trying to like ruin your life. So I do think you have to kind of approach it where you don't completely knock him down. I think you need to be

• 41:21Alex Cooper?

  honest with him in a fun way. And if he's like, oh, no, no, no, two hours is minimum for me. And then you're gonna be like, you're a freak and I'm leaving. But maybe he thinks you like it. That's the only way that I can justify that a man is consistently doing this. Isn't he tired? Doesn't he have a job? Like, how do you have time every time you have sex to be going for two to three hours? Girl, what does he do for work? I actually would want to know this. Um, no, but I think it's a quick, easy conversation. Listen, I think conversations around sex, and I've always said this on Call Her Daddy, they can be really uncomfortable if you make them. As much as you can prep, you also can't plan what the other person's gonna do. So he may feel so

• 42:06Alex Cooper?

  insecure, his ego may get hurt. And so that's why it's like, yes, bring a little bit of humor and be sweet. But at the end of the day, if he's gonna be like a little bitch boy, he's gonna be a little bitch boy. And most men would be like, oh, my God, I can totally do a quickie. Like, let's go. And we keep it moving and then we're not in a sex marathon. Okay. Because we all have work and families and jobs and bills to pay. So let's fucking go. Okay, next.

• 42:49Alex Cooper?

  Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Airbnb. Okay, I am well into my third trimester now, so I haven't really been able to travel because I need to stay close to my doctor. But spending all this time at home has made me start thinking about all the places that I want to go once the baby is here. I have literally been sitting on my couch with the TV on scrolling through Airbnb and planning trips. I am nowhere ready to take yet, but suddenly my vacation priorities, I will say, are completely different. Like, does the house have enough bedrooms? Is there a big kitchen? Does the furniture look baby safe? Or is every table covered in, you know, sharp corners? And obviously, we need an extra room for my mom, who has already made it very clear that she will not

• 43:34Alex Cooper?

  be leaving my side. She's like, I got you. I'm the babysitter, okay? And now that it is October, I'm picturing cooler weather, cozy sweaters, oh, my God, maybe a little cottage where we can escape for a little weekend. That's what I love about booking a home on Airbnb. Whether you're traveling with family, friends, or your partner, everyone has space to relax while still being together. Even if you're traveling for a concert or a game, you have one place where everyone can get together and convene after. Before the holiday season gets busy, treat yourself to one more fall getaway and check out Airbnb while you're planning it. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Haagen-Dazs. Okay, it is so important to take some me time.

• 44:17Alex Cooper?

  You know what I mean, guys? So take your sweet time and enjoy rich, smooth, creamy ice cream from Haagen-Dazs. Because honestly, when was the last time you actually slowed down and let yourself have a moment for you? You have to try their new cherry dark chocolate bar. Guys, picture rich cherry ice cream with tart cherry ribbons coated in thick dark chocolate. Are you kidding me? I'm drooling. Are you drooling yet? No, seriously. This is the kind of thing you don't just eat, you experience it. Okay, Haagen-Dazs elevated crafted ice cream is always meant to be savored. So whatever flavor you choose, slow down and enjoy each bite. Seriously, it's too good to rush. I grew up with Haagen-Dazs in my house. Every single night, my family and I would

• 45:00Alex Cooper?

  eat our favorite flavors. I'm obsessed with the cherry dark chocolate bar. Those flavors together, I couldn't be happier. I'm gonna watch my favorite TV shows and I'm gonna be eating that. Boom, done. Take your sweet time. That's Dazs. Available at retailers nationwide. Hi, Daddy. I've been in a relationship for a year and a half, and it's the most serious one I've ever had. We have spent the last six months talking about our future, marriage, kids, and especially moving in together. I'd always been clear that living together before getting engaged was important to me. So imagine my shock when he proposed this week. We'd never discussed engagement or timeline, and I was completely blindsided. I said yes in the moment, but ever

• 45:43Alex Cooper?

  since, I've been filled with doubts. If we're supposed to communicate about everything, is this something couples therapy can work through? Or is this kind of communication gap a major red flag? The first thing that I love to just hear from you is that you have boundaries and very specific things that you know that you want to experience with this person before rushing into marriage. And I think that that is going to bode well for you in the future, because I do think that there are so many people that do jump into a marriage or whatever. And then they're like, oh, my God, like, maybe we should have lived together first, because now I like fucking hate this person. Or like, maybe we should have talked about our views on kids, because now we're married and this

• 46:27Alex Cooper?

  person doesn't want them and this person does. So I think it's like, it's really healthy that you have been talking about these things. I agree that it's a little shocking that there was a clear boundary that you had, and then this person proposed. I, I think you need to have a really honest conversation, because I think there's clearly a disconnect. It's like, clearly he loves you and you love him. This is like what the trajectory is that you guys have been talking about. The fact that you're talking about marriage, kids, all of that. But I agree, I would be so disoriented if I, I said that to Matt. I'm like, we need to live together before anything is solidified or anything. I just personally believe that you should live with someone before you get

• 47:10Alex Cooper?

  married to them. That is my personal opinion for myself. I totally get that for some people, they don't need to do that. But I really think it shows you who someone is. I think you have to go through an, almost an entire new relationship when you move in with someone. You see there're some flaws of theirs that you never got to see, because at the end of the day, when you separate and you go back to your own houses, it is a very different experience than when you are in your shared space, when you are deciding who gets what drawer, and you just, you see who's messy, or this, or you have to go to the bathroom and you live in the same space. Like, you become one in a way that you just can't get that type of bonding and that enmeshment when you are living

• 47:51Alex Cooper?

  separately. That is also what marriage is, right? You're merging your lives. And so the first step that is an easy telltale of if you're gonna be successful together, is if, oh, how is living together, right? And the fact that he kind of like skipped over that part, I think that you need to slow him down. And I think that this is also where comes pressure for people when it comes to engagements. The minute you get engaged, especially as a woman, everyone's like, when are you getting married? And then the minute you get married, everyone's like, when are you having kids? And so I think you need to not abandon the things that you know are important to you before you move forward. Because from dating to engagement to marriage, it's such a, almost can be a quick timeline, and it all seems so fun and exciting. And then all of a sudden, you're married,

• 48:36Alex Cooper?

  and it's like, okay, now all of those fun little things that everyone, and the dresses and the engagement parties and the wedding, it's all over. And now you're just stuck with the two of each other. Do you like each other? And so sometimes people get wrapped up in all of the big festivities that come with the trajectory to marriage. And then it's like, wait, you guys, we didn't do any of the actual work. So now we're sitting after our honeymoon, and we're like, so, uh, that was such a fun couple of years of engagement to marriage. And now what the fuck? And you almost realize, like, do you, are you really in love? Or were the ideas of all these milestones that you were hitting together just so fun? But it's like, no, no, no, you have to live with this person for

• 49:18Alex Cooper?

  the rest of your life. That would be the goal, right? So I think you need to say to him, hey, I have been wanting to have this conversation with you, and I've just been taking a minute to process it. And I think we just have to have a really open conversation, because I love you so much. And when you got down on one knee, I was both shocked and so excited. And I love you, and I do want to marry you. But I wouldn't be being honest to our relationship and to myself if I didn't sit here and bring up to you that we've had a lot of conversations that I thought we were on the same page about. And the biggest one being we had to live together before we got engaged.

• 50:01Alex Cooper?

  And you obviously made the decision to propose, and I said yes. So I'm not faulting that. But I do feel a little disconnected on like, I want to just hear from you of like, what, how did you decide to kind of like skip over that part? And because again, I also think you need to take some accountability. You said yes, right? And so maybe he was getting signs from you that you don't know where he's coming from. And so you need to open the conversation. Listen to his side of why did he basically choose to forego moving in together and just go right to getting engaged? Talk that through. And then

• 50:38Alex Cooper?

  my biggest advice is you guys, a long engagement is not a bad thing. I think again, the pressure from friends and family and optically, who gives a fuck? This is your relationship that you have to live in for the rest of your life. And so a small little thing like, oh, their engagement ended up being three years or four years or whatever it be, that's so much better, people judging that than you rushing into something because you're appeasing everyone around you. And then you're a year into a marriage and you're like, I'm miserable. I want to divorce, right? I think you can say to him, in order for us to get married, in my opinion, I still

• 51:22Alex Cooper?

  need that step, right? And so I want to almost pause on wedding planning or any of that. Let's enjoy this engagement. And with this engagement, I want to move in together. And I want to see what engaged life and living together looks like, so that we can actually see if like this future is strong enough to then now go to marriage. And if he's like, what the fuck are you talking about? Like, so you're basically saying that it's not a guarantee we're getting married? I think you can say, that's not what I'm saying. I'm more just saying, I want to honor what I asked of our relationship and what we both agreed on. And I take accountability. I say yes, and I'm so happy I said yes. But we need to do this step first. And I need to focus on

• 52:02Alex Cooper?

  this step before I focus on the wedding and all the things that come with it. Oh, it's so, it's so hard, guys, because when you're in a partnership and someone goes against the thing that you guys have been planning, it's really disorienting. But I encourage every single person to not abandon what they had planned from the start. If you know this is something you need, this is in need of yours, and if this person genuinely loves you, then they should be willing to hold up their end of the bargain, and they should be able to walk through that with you. And if he makes you feel crazy, like, well, I just thought da, da, da, we always have sleepovers, and it doesn't matter. It's like, why are you trying to rush this? We have the rest of our

• 52:46Alex Cooper?

  lives. And I feel like that's some advice I've given to one of my single friends recently was like, and engagement is so exciting. I so get that. It's so, so, so exciting. But there, it's, it's also so quick. It's so quick. It's like, then you get engaged, and then you get married, and then all of a sudden, it's like slowing down for a year to two years to three years to five years, slow down because you've got decades to go, right? So that tiny little moment where you slow it down to make sure you feel good, that you feel ready, that is going to be so important and imperative for the success of those decades to come. But if you're trying,

• 53:30Alex Cooper?

  you're doing it, you're flying the plane, and then you're like, oh, my God, and we're already married. And oh, my God, we didn't even talk about if we wanted kids. And you're like, it's gonna feel so much more chaotic. Give yourself the time. And fuck everyone that puts any pressure on you, especially people that are just saying it because that's what they think they're supposed to say. They actually don't give a fuck. They don't care if you have a long engagement. And if they are projecting that it's like, a big issue that you have a long engagement, well, that's also weird on them. Why is that a big issue? Because you're insecure in your relationship that you need to get married that quickly? You need to seal the deal that quickly from engagement to marriage? It has to happen immediately. Why? Why do we do that? I don't know. I literally don't even understand that. Why is there like even like a normal amount of time to wait or

• 54:15Alex Cooper?

  whatever? Like, who cares? I get if it's like, it's been 10 years and they've been engaged. I'm like, okay. But like, I think that like, one to three year range, four year range, like, okay, who cares? Do you? Okay, I feel good. Do you guys feel good? I feel like we kind of hit a lot of different topics. I feel like we got a lot off our chest. I feel like we, you know, relived the glory days of Alex and her bad hair extensions. And yeah, I feel like this was a productive Sunday. I hope that I cured every single Sunday scary that you had. I hope that you know tomorrow,

• 55:00Alex Cooper?

  Monday, it's going to be a blessed day. You're going to thrive, okay? You're going to walk into work or walk into wherever you've got to walk into, and you are just going to succeed. Because, Daddy Gang, it's gonna be a good week. I love you guys so much. And you know the drill. I will see you fuckers on Wednesday. Goodbye.

• 55:35Alex Cooper?

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• 56:17Alex Cooper?

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• 57:02Alex Cooper?

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• 57:43Alex Cooper?

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