MBMBaM 750: A Thrupence and Nine

We may not be the best at spelling, except for Griffin who once won a McFlurry with his spelling skills. But you know what we are good at? Funny sex numbers! New ways of grinding! And making up new jingles for brands that are definitely not in a familiar, copyrighted tune! Suggested talking points: You Think You Know Everything Dougie, America Runs on Dunkin and So Can Your Wardrobe, Spell this in Kanji, Gyrate Queen, Lateral Grind World Central Kitchen: https://wck.org/

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

• 0:19Speaker 01

  One, two, three, four. It's the start of something beautiful. A small acquaintance has lost him, it's rapping into a precious friendship.

• 0:33Speaker 01

  I could have never seen what was coming for me. Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach. My life, it feels like. Life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. My life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. This is true, ah, it's better, it's better with you. My life, ah, it's better with you.

• 1:10Travis McElroy?

  Hello, everybody, and welcome to My Brother My Brother, me and it's a advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What's up, Trav Nation? It's me, Vroom Vroom, your middlest brother, Travis the Big Dog, Woof Woof McElroy.

• 1:22Griffin McElroy?

  What's good, Trav Nation? It's me, Griffin McElroy, playing hurt, playing sick, isn't he brave?

• 1:27Travis McElroy?

  I forgot to watch the Super Bowl.

• 1:31Griffin McElroy?

  And I... This is, this is, this is not, this isn't gonna be...

• 1:35Travis McElroy?

  Okay.

• 1:35Griffin McElroy?

  I don't think.

• 1:36Travis McElroy?

  The absence of comedy is not funny. Do you know what I'm saying?

• 1:41Griffin McElroy?

  I just mostly don't wanna talk about the Super Bowl, man.

• 1:43Travis McElroy?

  Oh, okay. What do you wanna talk about, Griffin?

• 1:45Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Lost my fucking pants on that one, didn't I?

• 1:51Griffin McElroy?

  Went big for the, here's the thing, I don't follow sports and so really the legalization of sports gambling is especially unfair to me because it's like, I'm gonna be bad at it. Like, I'll do it, sure, but I'm gonna be pretty bad at it and that's not fair. I looked at the past, what, 10 Super Bowls, you know what I kept seeing? Chiefs, Chiefs, Chiefs, Chiefs, one every time. So I was like, okay, so I'll get double my money, but it didn't work that way.

• 2:17Travis McElroy?

  And they're not very forgiving gambling stuff, I've learned, is like saying like, I, well, see, but I didn't know what I was doing. You don't get the money back, which is weird. Uh, I would like to take a moment, if I could, Travis, because you did miss it, I would like to take a moment to compliment Mr. Lamar on his halftime show.

• 2:37Griffin McElroy?

  Well done, Mr. Lamar on the halftime show, that was fantastic.

• 2:40Travis McElroy?

  Specifically, I want to compliment one thing.

• 2:41Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 2:42Travis McElroy?

  Please. That man, and I don't, I will, here's what I'm gonna say, I'm gonna do a little table setting that will surprise no one who is a long time listener, even short time listener to this show. I do not follow this cultural exchange between Mr. Drake and Mr. Lamar. I was not up to date on it. I've since tried to read up a little bit.

• 3:00Griffin McElroy?

  And we've been good, like, we've been really good and haven't said anything about it.

• 3:05Travis McElroy?

  We haven't said anything about it. And musically, if you give a shit what a 44 year old man thinks about music, I don't know what to tell you. So, here's what I'd like to say.

• 3:13Griffin McElroy?

  It's a good song.

• 3:14Travis McElroy?

  Mr., it doesn't, this, no one gives a shit, that's the point.

• 3:17Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, okay, okay, okay.

• 3:18Travis McElroy?

  For you to say what you think of it is like. No, because I learned about it from TikTok. You're wasting air. No one gives a shit.

• 3:23Griffin McElroy?

  That's good person, that's good private work you did.

• 3:26Travis McElroy?

  Here's a point I want to say. The fact that you would be at the Super Bowl.

• 3:30Griffin McElroy?

  Sure.

• 3:31Travis McElroy?

  At the Super Bowl, which is like, the biggest show.

• 3:36Griffin McElroy?

  It's so big, you can't say the name of it.

• 3:38Travis McElroy?

  The crown jewel of trademark sports. And people will be like, so, it's your moment, right? This is your moment as an artist, where like, if you look at, for example, I will use Prince in his iconic halftime show.

• 3:53Griffin McElroy?

  Exquisite.

• 3:54Travis McElroy?

  Playing the guitar, and it's like, this is me as a performer, right?

• 3:58Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 3:59Travis McElroy?

  I've, I've got all these other styles, right? I'm blending rock, I'm blending R&B. Also, the weather can't stop me, I'm an immortal being.

• 4:06Griffin McElroy?

  And in fact, the weather is, is part of it.

• 4:09Travis McElroy?

  I'm bigger than the weather.

• 4:10Griffin McElroy?

  Famously have a rain based song, and the weather is really working for me, right?

• 4:14Travis McElroy?

  I- I have such love in my heart for someone that they would come to him and they would say, Mr. Lamar, how will you be spending this castor moment? And Mr. Lamar said, well, I think what we can all agree on is I will need to spend a few minutes of it being mean to Drake.

• 4:31Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, everyone's like, wait, what? That goes without saying, the Pepsi representatives shaking their heads. Yes, that goes without saying.

• 4:38Travis McElroy?

  No notes, no pushback on that, Mr. Lamar, of course. And how direct, will it be kind of like about like the feeling of being an artist in the world and competing with a? No, what I think what it will be instead is I will look directly at the camera and I will say, hello, Drake. Yeah, it's me. Hi, it's me. I'm looking at speaking directly to you at the Super Bowl.

• 5:03Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 5:03Travis McElroy?

  I got your ex-girlfriend to do a funny dance at you. God, that's mean. I saw a tabloidy posting that during the Super Bowl, Drake was in Australia.

• 5:16Griffin McElroy?

  And all I had to think is like. Far from it.

• 5:18Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, imagine. Imagine finding out the Super Bowl is coming up and there's an element associated with it in which you Griffin or you Justin is like, man, I gotta get to Australia during this weekend. I mean, there's probably in any hemisphere related to what's happening.

• 5:35Griffin McElroy?

  And there had to be part of him that was like, maybe he won't do, maybe he won't play it. Like holding out hope, like maybe he won't, like he saw the announcement, like who'd they get? Oh, him? He doesn't like me. Well, he doesn't like me. Maybe he won't do it, though. Yeah.

• 5:54Travis McElroy?

  Do you think, do you think that afterwards they should have cut to like an awkward headshot for a formal rebuttal?

• 6:01Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 6:02Travis McElroy?

  From the Outback?

• 6:03Griffin McElroy?

  Just Drake shaking a bottle of Aquafina water as he raises it to his lips, Marco Rubio style?

• 6:11Travis McElroy?

  What Mr. Lamar often forgets is, is actually, he is whack and I actually am cool.

• 6:18Griffin McElroy?

  I am the.

• 6:20Travis McElroy?

  I am actually a good at rap.

• 6:22Griffin McElroy?

  I will say this about Mr. Lamar's halftime show and I'm, people are going to get mad at me because I say this every year. Could he use more red hot chili peppers?

• 6:31Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 6:31Griffin McElroy?

  How could it just used, just split the, split the crowd at one point and just hear wow, wow. And it's like, you know, like, okay, so we do get a little bit of red hot chili peppers in here. Just a little.

• 6:42Travis McElroy?

  Do you remember when it was like a big kerfuffle that like fleas, like base wasn't plugged in or something? And he was like, yeah, man, I'm jumping all around the Super Bowl.

• 6:51Griffin McElroy?

  It's a football field. You want me to run a cable across that whole thing? No way, man.

• 6:56Travis McElroy?

  I don't know what to tell you, bud.

• 6:59Griffin McElroy?

  Do we want to do some advice?

• 7:01Travis McElroy?

  I would love to help people.

• 7:04Travis McElroy?

  I work in retail and I've been noticing 69 come up in people's totally, total fairly recently.

• 7:09Griffin McElroy?

  It's your angel number.

• 7:12Travis McElroy?

  So does it feel like I accidentally emphasize it? But maybe I'm just in my head about it. How can I be less awkward telling customers they owe 69 cents? That's for minor 69er. I'm assuming that, that you owe something that ends in 69 cents, not that you're selling any, because I, I don't think anything costs 69 cents. These days.

• 7:32Griffin McElroy?

  These days, in this economy?

• 7:34Travis McElroy?

  Maybe one tenth of one egg. Oh, get them. Now, oh, here's, okay, here would be my concern is that without even a subtle nod, now you're leaving the window open where they feel they must acknowledge it.

• 7:51Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, that's interesting.

• 7:53Travis McElroy?

  Hmm.

• 7:53Griffin McElroy?

  There's a moment hanging in the air. You are in some ways doing a great service by taking that moment and pinning it down so that they are not expected to.

• 8:04Travis McElroy?

  You could also lie and say 70.

• 8:06Griffin McElroy?

  Ooh.

• 8:07Travis McElroy?

  And then they'll say, um, sorry, I, I'm looking at the total. It does clearly say 69. Would you like to round up to 70? Would you like to round up for uncomfortableness?

• 8:22Travis McElroy?

  Would you like to round up for our quiddity? The kids are awkward. They need your help.

• 8:26Griffin McElroy?

  You know what, sixty eight cents and I'll take a penny from the kids. And they'll give, I'll give you a penny just to get out of this, please.

• 8:33Travis McElroy?

  What about, you could start saying like- Spirit Halloween, when they're like, will you be generous and as a reward, I'll write your name on this wall? Thank you.

• 8:41Griffin McElroy?

  Awesome. My greatest wish, I've always, now the memory of me will never die, that Spirit Halloween has put me up on the affrenda.

• 8:50Travis McElroy?

  Or they say, here's two bracelets.

• 8:54Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 8:55Travis McElroy?

  My kids want them, but I would rather you keep the, thank you Spirit Halloween. Perhaps you could start doing like an old timey like nine and sixty.

• 9:03Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, that's cool.

• 9:04Travis McElroy?

  Oh, it's nine and sixty pence.

• 9:05Griffin McElroy?

  Nine and three pence.

• 9:08Griffin McElroy?

  Is that right?

• 9:09Travis McElroy?

  Three score.

• 9:10Griffin McElroy?

  Nine and three score pence.

• 9:11Travis McElroy?

  Thrupence.

• 9:12Griffin McElroy?

  A threepence and nine.

• 9:14Travis McElroy?

  Ah, here's your change, my lord.

• 9:22Griffin McElroy?

  Babe, tonight.

• 9:24Griffin McElroy?

  It's Valentine's Day, baby. You know what I'm thinking? A threepence and nine.

• 9:32Griffin McElroy?

  We'll get something, something for both of us.

• 9:35Travis McElroy?

  Maybe you could just start rounding to enough said, like, your total is thirteen enough said?

• 9:41Travis McElroy?

  You know what's up?

• 9:43Griffin McElroy?

  We should, I, I feel like this is, we've trod this ground before, but if we just had more sex numbers, then sixty nine wouldn't be as noteworthy when it did appear every time.

• 9:54Travis McElroy?

  We should have them one through one hundred.

• 9:56Griffin McElroy?

  Well, I'm not saying every number one through one hundred has a designated sexual position.

• 10:01Travis McElroy?

  Cause which ones do you leave out?

• 10:03Griffin McElroy?

  Um, I mean, I'm not saying every number needs to be one, but if there were like three or four sex numbers, then you would get-

• 10:11Travis McElroy?

  There's, you know, they're funny numbers, right? There's four twenty, which is-

• 10:14Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 10:14Travis McElroy?

  There is four twenty. We should, what, what we need to do is once a week, you rotate the numbers to different numbers, but they mean the same thing. So that way you can never keep track unless you're checking, you know, my website where I will update the numbers in real time.

• 10:29Griffin McElroy?

  That's awesome.

• 10:30Travis McElroy?

  For a fee.

• 10:31Griffin McElroy?

  Be like, babe, you know what I'm thinking? It's Valentine's Day. It's time for, shit, hold on. Damn thing won't load. Seventy five?

• 10:42Travis McElroy?

  Do you guys ever find yourself when you're out amongst unknown people and you do have an opportunity to say the funny sex number?

• 10:53Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 10:53Travis McElroy?

  Or 420. Do you ever find yourself putting a little extra on it?

• 10:58Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, yeah.

• 10:58Travis McElroy?

  In case, just to see, maybe it's a little feeler to see if the other person's a fellow wanderer like yourself, a fellow journeyman to get a quick little bust up out of 60. You know what I mean? It's like, maybe we could just share a warm quick chuckle. You know what I mean? Like, that's harmless fun, just recognizing that it's a funny sex number.

• 11:18Griffin McElroy?

  Sometimes.

• 11:19Travis McElroy?

  So you give a little, but you just give a little, like a little like.

• 11:22Griffin McElroy?

  Give me an example, show me an example and say, this egg costs.

• 11:25Travis McElroy?

  You need like plausible deniability, right?

• 11:27Griffin McElroy?

  Right. So this egg costs $1, $1.69, like $1.69.

• 11:31Travis McElroy?

  How, how much?

• 11:33Griffin McElroy?

  $1.

• 11:33Travis McElroy?

  And that'll be $1.69.

• 11:37Griffin McElroy?

  The laugh felt a little bit.

• 11:39Travis McElroy?

  It's the sound. I'm gonna do it again, because it's, it's almost imperceptible.

• 11:42Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 11:42Travis McElroy?

  That'll be $1.69.

• 11:44Griffin McElroy?

  No.

• 11:45Travis McElroy?

  No, I think it'd have to be more like, more like, oh, that's $1.69.

• 11:50Griffin McElroy?

  That's Travis, that was really good. Juice, you do it like Travis just did it.

• 11:54Travis McElroy?

  Travis, yours is scared. Yours is scared.

• 11:57Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah. That felt supernatural to me.

• 12:00Travis McElroy?

  You're like a boy with his hand caught in the cookie jar.

• 12:04Griffin McElroy?

  He hung the world's smallest lantern on it. I thought that that was exquisite, Travis.

• 12:07Travis McElroy?

  Let's hear yours then.

• 12:09Griffin McElroy?

  Mine? Okay.

• 12:10Travis McElroy?

  Just like, just like a.

• 12:12Griffin McElroy?

  That'll be $1.69.

• 12:16Griffin McElroy?

  You, you hit it up at the end and you're, and they're like thinking like, why did he hit it up at the end? And then they go like, oh, 69. That was his way of acknowledging it. I no longer have to stand.

• 12:25Travis McElroy?

  Oh, can I try it again?

• 12:26Griffin McElroy?

  Sure, Trav.

• 12:27Travis McElroy?

  Okay. That'll be $1.69. Oh, woo.

• 12:33Travis McElroy?

  I don't, I think the second woo. That was too much? Okay, let me try again, let me try again. Oh, that'll be a dollar sixty nine. Get it? That wasn't, okay, the get it was, you know that that was wrong. Can you just, when the number appears on your cash register? Look at it and just go like, ew, gross! Like, if it does appear and it's like, you're checking him out for one egg and it's a dollar sixty nine, you just look at the register like, oh, God, oh, get that, get that off of there. Yuck! Is this person, sorry, is this person buying a single egg at the grocery store? Yeah. I didn't know you could do that.

• 13:10Griffin McElroy?

  It's all anyone wants to talk about.

• 13:13Travis McElroy?

  Fits a really nice bodega. I can buy a egg?

• 13:17Griffin McElroy?

  No, I can't use a single egg.

• 13:19Travis McElroy?

  Counter-egg. Like an ostrich egg? They'll stay good for a while. It's, uh, I, I used to get a kick out of, in retail, it was very not uncommon for the total to be six, six, six, and people to buy more. And I always wondered if they were trying to get that going at Blockbuster. Cause I, I got six, six, six a lot, and it made me wonder if they had like, combos of items where that would be a very common total. And they would try to get people to buy more stuff. Hmm. Then, here's what I would say. If I found out about a company doing that, I would shut them down. And they are not currently operating. Oh, I see. Maybe, maybe they ran out of rope. It's all I'm saying. Maybe Blockbuster was an inside job.

• 14:02Travis McElroy?

  Maybe, maybe, maybe they're, yeah, that, thank you, Travis, yes. What combination of things, Justin, do you think that they could do some market research to be like, the person who cares about six, six, six is always getting like, this copy of Mac and Me and Snowcaps? Yeah. It was usually, it was usually just like, a package of Act Two popcorn, and a box of Gigi Bees, and an insistence that the Gigi Bees tasted better when you bought them at Blockbuster. Even though it was just the same. But no movie with it? Wait, there were people stopping at Blockbuster to get snacks?

• 14:36Griffin McElroy?

  Just for the cuisine?

• 14:38Travis McElroy?

  Hey, but hey, guys, people stopped at Blockbuster for anything. It was really a community hub. Yeah, kind of a small pod general store. Yeah, you could. It was kind of a hang spot where you could come and defraud a company. Yeah. Till they went out of business and turned into a amp dance studio. It was great for a hub for local news. Yeah. What was going on in the community? It was a great place for teenagers to go in and play Super Mario 64, literally for hours during the summer because they had nothing else to do.

• 15:10Travis McElroy?

  Uh, here's another question. Brothers, my son won his school spelling bee as a fourth grader this year, and I couldn't be more proud. He's participating in the citywide bee, but I don't know how to support him during the competition. Can I hoot and holler when he spells the word right? As a terrible speller myself, I don't know anything about spelling bee decorum. That's from rejoicing in Richmond.

• 15:29Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I mean, it probably doesn't take too long sitting in one of those to figure out what the, what is called for.

• 15:35Travis McElroy?

  Play it cool for the first 20 minutes. Like for this first 20 minutes, you try to stay completely motionless and silent. And then after you've clocked everybody and how they react to basically any outcome, that's when you can start reacting. Yeah. Oh, okay. But you know that there's not that kind. You're not going to get the same level of reaction for round one words. No. As you're gonna get for like round eight.

• 15:59Griffin McElroy?

  Once you get into the freaky stuff.

• 16:00Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, once you get into like the five syllable words or whatever.

• 16:04Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 16:04Travis McElroy?

  I think that you would be safe with a superb. Extraordinary. If you say superb, yeah.

• 16:11Griffin McElroy?

  At room volume.

• 16:12Travis McElroy?

  Superb.

• 16:13Griffin McElroy?

  Superb. Don't yell it, but they'll hear it. It's a quiet room. You don't need to project.

• 16:18Travis McElroy?

  Maybe like, uh, like you're clapping, like imagine you're in the audience of an opera. And the main soprano or whatever has just finished a beautiful aria and you spring to your feet, but all tightly wound. Right? Like even you can't believe you've been moved to this show of passion as you clap. Yes. Excellent.

• 16:41Griffin McElroy?

  I think that is typically the, the reaction, but I think you have to wait until they're done with the word. I do know that.

• 16:47Travis McElroy?

  You don't clap mid-word when they hit. A silent letter.

• 16:51Griffin McElroy?

  It would be great. It would actually be pretty easy, I think, to sabotage other kids if you could mid-word just bust out like a.

• 17:01Travis McElroy?

  Oh.

• 17:01Griffin McElroy?

  Oh.

• 17:02Travis McElroy?

  Oh.

• 17:03Griffin McElroy?

  Even if they're doing it right, just to get in their fucking heads.

• 17:05Travis McElroy?

  Nice.

• 17:06Griffin McElroy?

  Yikes.

• 17:07Travis McElroy?

  I would be terrified that my kid would look at me for any sort of guidance.

• 17:13Griffin McElroy?

  Help me, Papa.

• 17:14Travis McElroy?

  Spelling of, like, please dad, will the word into my head, please send it to me somehow. What's the next letter? Here's the thing, I think as a parent, if I had to attend a spelling bee for my child, I'd be so excited for them first, but the two best outcomes, of course, best outcome, they win. Second best outcome, they go out real early, right? Because if they're not gonna win.

• 17:39Griffin McElroy?

  It's, yeah.

• 17:40Travis McElroy?

  I don't know how I feel about being there the whole time.

• 17:44Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 17:45Travis McElroy?

  And so like, I think I would more worry about not how to celebrate, but how to lose graciously in a way that if my kid went out in the first round, I would be like, whoa, okay.

• 17:56Griffin McElroy?

  That's a lesson.

• 17:56Travis McElroy?

  Bye.

• 17:57Griffin McElroy?

  It's, this is how I feel about Survivor. On Survivor, the winner is at the end, whoever gets the most jury votes. The runner up is the person who got voted out first, because everybody else lost, but that person's time to cheeseburger was much lower than everybody else's was. They got to, they can go to Outback whenever the fuck they want to. They didn't win, but neither did anybody else.

• 18:19Travis McElroy?

  Yep.

• 18:19Griffin McElroy?

  So first out's not a bad way to go.

• 18:23Travis McElroy?

  It's more, it's more video game time for both me and the child.

• 18:27Griffin McElroy?

  I was in a spelling bee, I was like, whatever it was, county level or whatever. I won one spelling bee and then I went to the next qualifiers or whatever the fuck. And I almost made it. There was some bullshit about like, oh, we can only start the last round when there's five contestants left. And so I kept spelling words right, but there wouldn't be five contestants left. So they had to do the round before over and over again. And finally I missed a word and that was the one where they had five contestants left. Mom took me to McDonald's afterwards. I was so angry.

• 18:57Travis McElroy?

  Oh, great, and I'm so sorry.

• 18:59Griffin McElroy?

  I got a McFlurry and then I was so fucking angry. And as we were driving out of the drive through, I saw where somebody else had thrown their McFlurry at the wall at the side of the McDonald's. And I remember thinking like, you know what? My problems aren't so bad.

• 19:12Travis McElroy?

  Cause I still want this McFlurry more than I want to throw it.

• 19:15Griffin McElroy?

  McFlurry and I'm not gonna let my impotent rage force me to not have this.

• 19:22Travis McElroy?

  Because now you're still mad and you don't have your McFlurry.

• 19:25Griffin McElroy?

  I'm mad, I'm hurt, I'm smart from doing, learning all the words. I'm not gonna use that shit again. Thank you so much, spelling bee.

• 19:31Travis McElroy?

  And you know, if you drop your McFlurry in the parking lot, I bet McDonald's is pretty forgiving about giving a child another one. But if you're like, yeah, I dropped my McFlurry and I dropped it hard against your wall, I doubt that they're gonna be like, oh, yeah, of course.

• 19:45Griffin McElroy?

  No, you didn't need to be, you didn't gotta be Dexter to figure out the, the, the pattern on this one. This was very clearly a McFlurry had been needed at the wall. Pretty, pretty good.

• 19:55Travis McElroy?

  Do you remember what word you went out on? Does it haunt you?

• 19:58Griffin McElroy?

  Uh, I believe it was conscience, which is, that one gets you every time. It's just.

• 20:03Travis McElroy?

  You wanna do it again now and have a bit of?

• 20:05Griffin McElroy?

  C O N S C I E N C E. Like, I'll never fuck it up again for the rest of my.

• 20:09Travis McElroy?

  Wow dude, that's, that's, you've got that, huh?

• 20:12Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I got that on, on.

• 20:14Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, you got that.

• 20:16Griffin McElroy?

  Let me make sure I do got that.

• 20:19Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, no, yeah, I do got that.

• 20:22Travis McElroy?

  What do you think happened in the moment? If you were gonna break it down, do you think you just got it? The heat of the lights, the murmur of the crowd maybe got to you?

• 20:32Griffin McElroy?

  Um, I just spelled it wrong, guys. I don't know. I got a lot of them right. I should have made it on. I should have. Can you imagine how different my life would have been if I had won that and then won state and went to country? And then I got famous for spelling.

• 20:46Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, like at the spelling Olympics? I bet there's an international. That must be tough though for kids that speak different languages.

• 20:53Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, hey, that's not, how do you, how do you do that? That doesn't seem fair.

• 20:57Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, that's true. They should bust out words from other languages. That would really, this kid's for a loop.

• 21:01Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 21:02Travis McElroy?

  Must be tough.

• 21:04Griffin McElroy?

  Spell this one in Kanji, motherfucker.

• 21:07Travis McElroy?

  I doubt the, I doubt the spelling bee officials say that.

• 21:10Griffin McElroy?

  The judges of.

• 21:11Travis McElroy?

  You think you're so fucking smart?

• 21:14Griffin McElroy?

  The, the judges of spelling bees should be bitter, middle aged, former jocks. Like, you think you, you think you know everything, huh? Dougie?

• 21:25Travis McElroy?

  That's weird why I chuck tennis balls at you. Hey, check this out, point Dexter, a guy with pop culture wearing coming for you. What's Elton John's best song? Go.

• 21:35Travis McElroy?

  Wrong.

• 21:39Travis McElroy?

  Dork, you're out.

• 21:42Travis McElroy?

  You got all the answers Elijah, why is my marriage failing Elijah?

• 21:48Travis McElroy?

  Why am I going home to an empty house? I mean, other than you and your sister, but yeah, I'm proud of you. By the way, you're doing great. Proud of you, son. Your next word. Alimony.

• 21:57Travis McElroy?

  Disappointment.

• 22:01Travis McElroy?

  I'm a piano teacher and I often get gift cards during the holiday season at the end of the school year. A majority of the cards are received for Starbucks, but I'm not really a Starbucks kind of guy. I'd much prefer a card for Dunkin'. How did I drop the hint? I definitely have shown up to lessons with, uh, dunks in hand. So I need some other strategies. That's from brewing in Boston. I mean, I, I will launch out just to get ahead of this thing and say, there's a lot of Dunkin' branded merchandise awaiting for you to help spread the word. Okay. That you and this brand are basically synonymous. I mean, you, America runs on Dunkin' and so can your wardrobe. Honestly, there's a lot of great looks to choose from. But your position on donut, their donuts is that. Oh, if this, sorry.

• 22:45Travis McElroy?

  It's, the business is called Dunkin' Donuts. I was shocked to hear you so vociferously. I think it's just Dunkin' now. Actually, I think they dropped the donut. I was trying to approach this in a, uh, in a helpful way, but I will say that yes, Travis, it isn't just called Dunkin' because they realized they could no longer call them donuts with any sort of like clear conscience. It's America's worst donut. Uh, one of our great brands, but truly, truly inedible. Uh, with the, the main product that they are named after, just truly despicable, despicable donuts, but they do have a lot of merch. Yeah. So if you want, if you start wearing their merch, then I bet that, that people are, it'll get to a point where it would be insane to get you anything else.

• 23:27Travis McElroy?

  Do they have a jingle that you could incorporate into piano lessons?

• 23:33Griffin McElroy?

  The Dunkin' Donut, the Dunkin' Donuts Company?

• 23:36Travis McElroy?

  I'm saying if they had some kind of Dunkin' Donuts jingle, that that was like the only thing you taught your students.

• 23:42Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 23:43Travis McElroy?

  Okay, yeah, I got it. Da da da da da Dunkin'.

• 23:47Griffin McElroy?

  That was cool.

• 23:49Travis McElroy?

  And now, uh, our third participant in the piano recital, uh, once again, it's Steve playing dunna da da da Dunkin', the third time you've heard dunna dunna da Dunkin' today, so.

• 24:01Griffin McElroy?

  That hits, Juice. That has a good.

• 24:03Travis McElroy?

  Da da da da da Dunkin'.

• 24:05Griffin McElroy?

  Well, hold on, I turned into Mario a little bit there.

• 24:07Travis McElroy?

  Da da da da da Dunkin'. Da da da da da Dunkin'. That has the benefit of sounding not unlike the Super Mario Brothers music. Drink our drinks, don't eat our eats, don't worry about our sandwiches, they are burnt. Every food we make tastes like a break.

• 24:27Travis McElroy?

  The hash rounds were an absolute mistake. We sell eggs folded in half and bacon that is sweet for some reason. It is all so raw.

• 24:41Travis McElroy?

  Bad restaurant.

• 24:42Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, it's, yeah. How come all their drinks taste like when you drink it, like they need to clean out the machine? That's my, always my reaction when I drink a drink from there is they need to clean that machine out.

• 24:52Travis McElroy?

  The machine, and that's what's in your cup that you are drinking.

• 24:55Griffin McElroy?

  Shoot. Anyway, now that we're done being elitist, I will say that.

• 24:59Travis McElroy?

  It's not elitist. It's not elitist. It's not good. There's many cheaper donuts that are, the donuts at Jolly Pirate probably cost less and they're gonna be a lot better for you. Any place in America, Dunkin' is not your best option.

• 25:10Griffin McElroy?

  Some places in America are a Jolly Pirate's Donuts desert in that they don't, it's harder.

• 25:16Travis McElroy?

  Then you drive to the closest Tim Hortons. Or you're gonna have a lot of outlets for Krispy Kreme. This is also true. Your local McDonald's probably has Krispy Kreme, the local gas station buys Krispy Kreme. Support your mom and da, your mom and pop. Your mom and pop speedways. Hey kids, it's me, Doc. You talking about the donuts? Adopt a mom and pop donut shop and stop. No.

• 25:40Griffin McElroy?

  You guys ever been to Krispy Kreme where you can watch them being made?

• 25:44Travis McElroy?

  Oh, yeah. It's like going to the slaughterhouse and picking your steak and saying, kill that one. I get it, Justin. Yeah, you know, you're watching them come out and saying, ah, freshly boiled donut. I'm gonna eat it.

• 25:55Griffin McElroy?

  Can you go to Starbucks?

• 25:58Travis McElroy?

  Yes.

• 25:59Griffin McElroy?

  Spend all the gift card, buying all the, buying a big, a bunch of drinks and pastries, and then take those to Dunkin' to sell to them in exchange for Dunkin' store credit?

• 26:14Travis McElroy?

  Hmm. Whoa, okay.

• 26:18Griffin McElroy?

  Can you go to a Dunkin' employee and say, like, do you like Starbucks? Maybe we can do some sort of, some sort of swap.

• 26:27Travis McElroy?

  You, now, Griffin, I, can I say?

• 26:32Travis McElroy?

  I would put money on the fact that there's a thing in a manager's handbook at Dunkin' that has specifically had to be put in that outlaws that. It says, like, we can't exchange the goods and services from Starbucks in exchange for goods and services from Dunkin'.

• 26:49Griffin McElroy?

  What I do with my money as a Dunkin' employee is my business.

• 26:55Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, it's no one's business.

• 26:57Griffin McElroy?

  And if I want to buy someone's Starbucks gift card off of them for 50 cents on the dollar, oh, if you're getting that kind of deal on it, you'd be a fool not to. Well, I always, I never miss a trick, Travis. I, when there's a run on the Starbucks banks, I'm always in there buying up everybody's

• 27:14Travis McElroy?

  Because then you take those gift cards and you find out what are the hot mugs and travel cups that everybody's dying for? You get those, you sit on them. That's your nest egg right there.

• 27:22Griffin McElroy?

  Hey, how kick ass would the scene in It's a Wonderful Life have been if, um, if, if Jimmy Stewart's guy, he didn't have money?

• 27:33Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 27:33Griffin McElroy?

  Instead, he had like a Starbucks gift card with like a thousand bucks on it.

• 27:37Travis McElroy?

  If people kept coming in and saying, like, I want to help. And they were just dropping, there's like $2.50 left on this card if you want to use it.

• 27:46Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. And someone's like, Potter's buying up all the shares for 50 cents on a dollar. And Jamie Stewart's guy has to be like, Okay, hold on. Is anybody spending their money on coffee?

• 27:56Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, I'll go out, I'll get a bunch of coffees for everybody.

• 28:00Griffin McElroy?

  You guys seem really freaked out, but if coffee's all you need, I can cover that. How much coffee do you need? And please don't be greedy.

• 28:07Travis McElroy?

  How much coffee do we have to bring you before you won't kill yourself?

• 28:11Griffin McElroy?

  Me and my wife, me and my wife just-

• 28:13Travis McElroy?

  Put a big enough pile.

• 28:15Griffin McElroy?

  We just got married and I was gonna take her on the most kick-ass Starbucks trip ever.

• 28:19Travis McElroy?

  We were gonna go from Starbucks to Starbucks.

• 28:22Griffin McElroy?

  I was gonna take her to Starbucks I always dreamed of, I saw in all my Starbucks magazines and be like, babe, whatever you want.

• 28:29Travis McElroy?

  When I worked at that mom and pop coffee shop when I was little and I'd pull on the handle and make fire come out for some reason, I'd always wish to go to that Starbucks shop. And I was gonna do it!

• 28:39Griffin McElroy?

  I was gonna do it too.

• 28:41Travis McElroy?

  You need, sorry, you need a venti? No, you don't. Hey.

• 28:45Griffin McElroy?

  Don't need a venti, come on.

• 28:46Travis McElroy?

  You don't need a venti. You need to get more sleep, is what you need to do.

• 28:50Griffin McElroy?

  You need to get more sleep.

• 28:51Travis McElroy?

  Get to bed early tonight.

• 28:53Travis McElroy?

  I'd like a flaming rum punch. They don't have those at Starbucks!

• 28:57Griffin McElroy?

  Alright, boys, let's take a break and we'll head on over to the money zone.

• 29:02Travis McElroy?

  Whoa.

• 29:14Travis McElroy?

  It's a new month.

• 29:15Griffin McElroy?

  Fuck.

• 29:16Travis McElroy?

  It's a new month.

• 29:16Griffin McElroy?

  Both of you do the same, both of you do the ad the way you were going to do it.

• 29:19Travis McElroy?

  It's also not a new month. This is coming out on like the 17th.

• 29:23Griffin McElroy?

  Oh my god.

• 29:25Travis McElroy?

  It's the, it's the middle of the month. What, no, what were you gonna say about a new month, a new start?

• 29:32Griffin McElroy?

  Are you the only person alive in the country for whom time seems to be moving at an accelerated rate? And it is not absolutely creep creeping along?

• 29:43Travis McElroy?

  We're halfway through. What about wild? Keep going, Justin. It's a new month.

• 29:50Travis McElroy?

  It's a new month, uh, February, and that means it's time to start getting your finances in order. I will say, Justin, that this attitude of it's a new month, it's time to get your shit together at the 17th is how I feel. Every minute, I'm like, I should have gotten my shit together back at the beginning of the month. Next month, I'll definitely. Okay, so let me, let me, yeah, let me rephrase what I was saying. It's a completely nondescript time of the year. Yeah. But it's not super late in the year. Yeah. It's a good time. It's not too late. There's still time. There is still time. Think about your money. Rocket Money is the best way of doing that because you can, uh, sign up with Rocket Money. They're going to look at your, uh, subscriptions. They're going to look at your accounts and help you to figure out

• 30:34Travis McElroy?

  the best way to save a few bucks and take control of your finances. They will not look at your private browsing history. They will not.

• 30:42Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Unless you ask them to, unless that's like part of it.

• 30:45Travis McElroy?

  No. They can be a financial accountability and a spiritual accountability partner. That's right. Great point, Trav. They can monitor your spending to help you, uh, reach your financial goals. And your sinning. Just, and your sinning goals. If you have goals for how many offenses you want to commit in the eyes of our Lord. I guess it could be how many or how few. I was thinking how few, but if you were like this year, I'm, I'm turning it up to 11.

• 31:11Griffin McElroy?

  It says here Rocket Money has over 5 million nasty users and has saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving nasty members up to $740 a year when using all the app's premium features. I don't know why they would say.

• 31:24Travis McElroy?

  Sorry. It says filthiest features.

• 31:28Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 31:30Travis McElroy?

  And it says in your area. And it just keeps saying, we have the filthiest features in your area. And they're looking for you. Now, oh my God, there's an animated GIF. I need to expand. Oh. Oh. Oh, Chad done that. Oh, my God. Yikes. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash my brother today. That's rocketmoney.com slash my brother. Rocketmoney.com slash my brother. Griff, take it away.

• 32:02Travis McElroy?

  What are, what you can't see, so my brother just had a coughing fit like his doctor would tell him he needs to move out west to dry your, good for the lungs. I was just trying to pass it off. Move, you got lived by the sea. It's a good joke for the three of us. It's not really for the listener. I'm glad Travis slowed down enough to explain it. Do you want to convince a loved one that you're trapped inside of a box? Then Aura Frames is for you. You can constantly, you can constantly upload new photographs to it using wifi to make it look like you're trapped inside of the Aura Frame. Or I guess you could also give it as a gift, um, or have it in your own home. And those work too. If you don't want to do the, I'm trapped inside this box kind of thing. Either way is fine.

• 32:48Travis McElroy?

  Um, and you know, it's that time of year where it just feels like, oh, there's occasion after occasion after occasion coming up, uh, to give gifts for things. Uh, you know, we've got tons of birthdays, graduations, all kinds of things coming up. Um, and Aura Frames is there for you. Uh, we have an Aura Frame that we use anytime we get home from a trip. Anytime we get home from, uh, you know, seeing friends or doing things with the kids, we just immediately upload our photos there. So we don't forget, so they don't become trapped on our phone. And it's the number one digital picture frame voted by Wirecutter. I highly recommend them. The best part is it comes with unlimited storage. All you need is the free Aura app and a wifi connection.

• 33:32Travis McElroy?

  And you can upload as many photos and videos as you want year round. Right now you can save on the perfect gift that keeps on giving by visiting auraframes.com. For a limited time, listeners can get $20 off their best selling Carver Matte Frame with promo code MYBROTHER. That's A U R A frames.com promo code MYBROTHER, all one word. Don't forget to mention that we sent you to show your support for the show. Terms and conditions apply.

• 34:00Travis McElroy?

  We sent you. We sent you. We sent you. Tell them the McElroy sent you. Tell them. Yeah, tell them I'm coming and hell's coming with me. Tell them I'm coming. Tell them I'm fucking coming.

• 34:15Griffin McElroy?

  You guys like the limey?

• 34:17Travis McElroy?

  I did, yeah. It's been a long time since I thought about it, but yeah, I did enjoy it.

• 34:21Griffin McElroy?

  It was actually like a pretty good Terrence stamp.

• 34:23Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, it was really good.

• 34:25Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, it felt really good.

• 34:26Travis McElroy?

  You really put your Terrence stamp on it.

• 34:28Griffin McElroy?

  Thanks, Trav.

• 34:29Travis McElroy?

  You're welcome. It has my Terrence stamp of approval.

• 34:33Travis McElroy?

  I would like to have a little rubber stamp that's a picture of Terrence stamp that I could put on things to show my stamp of approval.

• 34:39Griffin McElroy?

  That'd be cool.

• 34:40Speaker 01

  Who's ready for some science?

• 34:44Speaker 01

  With sources and nuance.

• 34:48Speaker 04

  And some funny jokes from me.

• 34:52Speaker 04

  And some funny jokes from me.

• 34:54Speaker 05

  On Let's Learn Everything, we learn about science and a bit of everything else, too.

• 34:57Speaker 06

  From super heavy elements to super heavy pumpkins.

• 35:00Speaker 04

  From quantum physics to the history of swearing.

• 35:03Speaker 05

  As well as special guests like Tom Scott and Hank Green.

• 35:05Speaker 04

  And some funny jokes from me.

• 35:07Speaker 06

  Me, Caroline Roper.

• 35:09Speaker 05

  Dr. Ella Hubber.

• 35:10Speaker 04

  And Tom Lum.

• 35:11Speaker 06

  So join us next time where we will learn about Everything.

• 35:19Speaker 05

  Hey, are you playing a video game right now?

• 35:22Travis McElroy?

  Maybe you put on a podcast while grinding in an RPG. Or maybe you just don't want to hear that boss fight music one more time.

• 35:28Speaker 05

  Been there. I'm Maddie Myers.

• 35:30Travis McElroy?

  I'm Jason Schreier. And I'm Kirk Hamilton. We're the hosts of Triple Click, a video game podcast.

• 35:35Speaker 05

  A podcast you can listen to while you do other things.

• 35:38Travis McElroy?

  Like driving, or cooking, or playing video games.

• 35:43Speaker 05

  On Triple Click, we share thoughts on the latest games.

• 35:46Travis McElroy?

  And breaking news out of the video game industry. And we also talk about other stuff besides games. So while you're doing something else, make sure to check out Triple Click. Listen on MaximumFun.org or wherever you find your podcasts.

• 36:02Griffin McElroy?

  Um, I do have a Wiki. Yeah, the wizard is here. He's, he's come down and he is here. A bunch of people sent this one in. Thank you, everyone. Uh, it's how to grind. Feel like getting freaky on the dance floor? Want to send a sexy message or just have some suggestive fun? Grinding is a form of dance that requires you to move your hips in a circular motion that matches your partners and to let loose and have some fun. Once you know how to grind, you can show off your sexy moves at any party or club. Read on to find out how to do it.

• 36:32Travis McElroy?

  I'm so thankful for this because when I Google how to grind, I get such a variety of topics and then I get very confused.

• 36:42Griffin McElroy?

  Lot of business bros.

• 36:43Travis McElroy?

  Lot of business bros.

• 36:44Griffin McElroy?

  I have five days in my day.

• 36:46Travis McElroy?

  A lot of skating, both inline and board. I get a lot of meat related stuff, which I think I would get in trouble for doing that on the dance floor.

• 36:59Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, it's not, you'll lose your food handler's license doing that.

• 37:03Travis McElroy?

  Indeed.

• 37:04Griffin McElroy?

  I, I do take umbrage with, once you know how to grind, you can show off your sexy moves at any party or club. I can think of a hundred parties or clubs where that would not actually be appropriate or acceptable.

• 37:18Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, most clubs, Elks Club.

• 37:21Griffin McElroy?

  Elks Club.

• 37:22Travis McElroy?

  Just to think of one, Golf Club.

• 37:24Griffin McElroy?

  Golf Club, can't do it.

• 37:26Travis McElroy?

  Mm hmm. Club Dread, Club Penguin.

• 37:31Griffin McElroy?

  Birthday parties of most ages, of nearly all ages, I will say. It's not like, that's a big one for me. Christmas party is not, you're probably not going to do it a lot there.

• 37:45Travis McElroy?

  Depends on what kind of Christmas party.

• 37:48Griffin McElroy?

  I'm, I'll tell you, I can think of fewer parties where you can grind at than parties where you shouldn't grind.

• 37:55Travis McElroy?

  I actually am sitting here thinking, I don't think there's a Christmas party where it's appropriate because even in an office setting amongst adults, I would prefer as an HR director that they not grind.

• 38:05Griffin McElroy?

  I do not want you, I do not want you to grind.

• 38:07Travis McElroy?

  If the cast of MTV's Spring Break had.

• 38:11Griffin McElroy?

  MTV's The Grind.

• 38:12Travis McElroy?

  If they had like a Christmas party for their company, they'd be like, let's say, but even then you wouldn't want to work, you wouldn't want to work off the clock?

• 38:21Griffin McElroy?

  No. Well, yeah, but also they're wearing suit and ties in the Viacom like headquarters in Manhattan.

• 38:28Travis McElroy?

  And they haven't done it for 50 years. I'm trying to, they're all, they're all pretty confused as to why they're doing MTV's Spring Break again in the year of our Lord 2025.

• 38:36Griffin McElroy?

  When the cast of MTV's Spring Break, Travis, is working. Do you think they work at the beach? Do you think their job is at the beach? They are, those are young professionals of the Viacom Corporation.

• 38:48Travis McElroy?

  Well, sometimes, I mean, when they're on location filming, they're working.

• 38:52Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 38:53Travis McElroy?

  That's work for them.

• 38:54Griffin McElroy?

  It doesn't feel like it, though. Approaching your partner. Listen for the right music while you're waiting for some hip hop or house music to come on. Scout the dance floor for some partners that you might want to grind with. That's insane.

• 39:08Travis McElroy?

  That's hugely inadvisable. I mean, just be on the pale.

• 39:12Griffin McElroy?

  I mean, as a

• 39:13Travis McElroy?

  So unwise.

• 39:14Griffin McElroy?

  As a thought, as a harmless thought exercise personally? Like, I can't control what you think, man, but

• 39:22Travis McElroy?

  But I will say this. Scoping the floor for babes is one of the most highly detectable human activities that is known to exist. We are all on a 100% stool for it 100% of the time. You will never go through that.

• 39:38Griffin McElroy?

  Evolutionarily. Genetically. We are good at this.

• 39:43Travis McElroy?

  And not only that, but we, human beings can clock it when done naturally. Now add the spice of you've been told to do it by a WikiHow article. Oh, yeah, they'll see that all over your face, man. All over your face. You've got a neon sign above your head.

• 39:59Griffin McElroy?

  You're sunk already. Just reading this, you're sunk, buddy.

• 40:02Travis McElroy?

  You had to look up.

• 40:04Griffin McElroy?

  Travis, that should, it should, the first page should be like, you shouldn't.

• 40:08Travis McElroy?

  No.

• 40:08Griffin McElroy?

  Like, look how you got here. And meanwhile, while you're over there in the corner, waiting for a hip hop or house song to come on, that you can grind to, I'm on the floor. I've been grinding to everything because that's the secret is consistency. Is not, is not, you can sit and wait and wait and wait all day and miss the whole dance.

• 40:27Travis McElroy?

  But if you can't grind to some gin blossoms, then what are you even doing?

• 40:32Griffin McElroy?

  Find your partner. If you're brave, you could go up to a potential partner and ask, hey, you want to dance? I do feel like you do have to be pretty specific and say, like, do you want to? Do you want to grind? And not just say dance. Because there's lots of different dances, but there's really only

• 40:48Travis McElroy?

  A grind of me?

• 40:49Griffin McElroy?

  There's only a few that involve.

• 40:52Griffin McElroy?

  Rubbin like that.

• 40:54Travis McElroy?

  I would also say. And Rubbin is racing. We need, I think that this being an optional step to ask if they want to be ground upon.

• 41:04Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 41:04Travis McElroy?

  This not optional. It's not optional.

• 41:07Griffin McElroy?

  No, I'm saying, but dance doesn't cover it.

• 41:10Travis McElroy?

  No.

• 41:10Griffin McElroy?

  Dance doesn't, dance doesn't.

• 41:11Travis McElroy?

  What if they're picturing a waltz?

• 41:14Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, a little, a foxtrot.

• 41:16Travis McElroy?

  If you can waltz and grind at the same time, though. Is there, is there music where the grind is implied? Uh, Pony by Genuine.

• 41:25Griffin McElroy?

  Bump and grind?

• 41:27Travis McElroy?

  Gonna make you sweat?

• 41:29Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 41:31Travis McElroy?

  Uh, rhythm is gonna get you.

• 41:33Griffin McElroy?

  I want, uh, place that booty on my groin.

• 41:40Travis McElroy?

  I'd love that. And gyrate, and gyrate away, my queen.

• 41:43Griffin McElroy?

  One of Celine Dion's best. Celine Dion presents, put that booty on my groin and gyrate, queen.

• 41:50Travis McElroy?

  And other hits to make love to.

• 41:55Travis McElroy?

  That's the album that the theme from Titanic was on. Do you know that? My heart was on.

• 41:59Griffin McElroy?

  That's a track, if she busted that out at one of her shows, that, that building would go thermonuclear. Holy shit, is she really playing, put that booty on my groin and gyrate, queen?

• 42:08Travis McElroy?

  What do you think the funniest song Celine Dion sings? Like, what do you think the funniest song at a Celine Dion concert is?

• 42:15Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, Mac the Knife.

• 42:19Travis McElroy?

  When she does Ray Stevens, the street. Like, I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, like, this used to make us laugh. Ray Stevens is, uh, uncomedy genius. Oh, yes, I'm calling the street. Don't look at them.

• 42:34Griffin McElroy?

  Get into position. Usually the guy gets behind the girl to start grinding. I don't need instructions on this. Thank you, WikiHow. However, you can always grind face to face. Okay, what?

• 42:47Travis McElroy?

  Or side to side. Yeah, I guess you can. If you want to leave her in for the Holy Ghost.

• 42:52Griffin McElroy?

  That's insane. That feels, that feels like such an edge case. That feels like such a huge outlier that it's insane. You felt like you had to include it. It's like saying you can dance or you can dance on the ceiling. And it's like, yeah, I guess if I was in a special room, like I can break into electric boogaloo, but.

• 43:11Travis McElroy?

  I would make the argument that if you are someone who is about to engage in face to face grinding, you don't need a WikiHow article to get you there. Like, there's a level of confidence and skill associated with it. You don't want to go for that your first time. Why even introduce that as a possibility? That should say, this is possible, parentheses, do not attempt, read further.

• 43:34Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 43:34Travis McElroy?

  Well, in the advanced article, we'll discuss the possibility of face to face grinding.

• 43:40Griffin McElroy?

  Here's where, here's where the.

• 43:41Travis McElroy?

  They might as well say you could grind with three people at the same time.

• 43:45Griffin McElroy?

  Exactly. Yeah. No, I, I guess, like, I guess so. Sure. I guess so. There's not like a law. There's no law against front to front grinding, but it's like, why are we doing it that way? That's so antithetical to the spirit of the thing. This is where wheels fall off for me. Part two, grinding. Awesome. Step one, move your hips in the same circular motion. Well, normally, I don't want to read all this. Uh, the girl's hips should move in a circular motion. The guy's hips should match that motion. Two, my two reactions to this, one, if you go counterclockwise to it, do you both burst into flames from the legs down?

• 44:23Travis McElroy?

  No, but that's just minimal contact because then you only get one contact at one degree of the circle.

• 44:29Griffin McElroy?

  Right. Also.

• 44:30Travis McElroy?

  Get stuck together. Yeah.

• 44:31Griffin McElroy?

  But also.

• 44:32Travis McElroy?

  What if your, what if your rhythm gets off and now you're just missing each other?

• 44:36Griffin McElroy?

  Also. So I don't think that's right. I don't think I went to a lot of, you know, uh, formal dances in my youth where grinding was taking place. I don't remember seeing perfectly like a.

• 44:55Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, you don't want an NPC waiting. You don't want Mortal Kombat like before they fight circling. Yeah. I will, listen, I'm an ally. I'll just say it. I think it has to be bored, girl.

• 45:08Griffin McElroy?

  Hey, I haven't celebrated you.

• 45:10Travis McElroy?

  Thank you very much. Anybody can grind on anybody. You know what I mean? I think grind is grind is grind is grind is what I'm saying.

• 45:18Griffin McElroy?

  So good. That's really lovely and beautiful. And thank you so much. And it's lovely and cool.

• 45:23Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, anybody can dry hump anybody on the dance floor as long as they're consensual, you know?

• 45:29Griffin McElroy?

  It's not taking place. It's not a thing where you explore the plane with your, with your move. Like there's an, you've added an axes or two to the movement and thrown your credibility into question in a big way. Wiki how juicy. You look uncomfortable. Do you not like talking about this kind of stuff?

• 45:48Travis McElroy?

  Uh, I was the generation before grinding. So there's a part of it. Before my generation invented it? Yes. When you were, I was, it would have been very unseemly when I was a child to have ground. And I feel like me commenting on it at this point, uh, is tantamount to ageism. I feel like I'm the judgment of the old. I never had my chance to grind, you know? This is why our age gaps make this so wonderful because you know, you were before grinding. I was prime grind. All I did was grind 24 seven. And then.

• 46:22Griffin McElroy?

  It was already ironic for me.

• 46:23Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, Griffin was.

• 46:24Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, it was ironic for me when I was, when we were grinding, it was like, yeah, right.

• 46:30Griffin McElroy?

  You yell that over the music. Yeah, right. Can you imagine?

• 46:33Travis McElroy?

  It's interesting as things come back around. That is a phenomenon where like suddenly I've found that my kids, especially Charlie, who's a little bit more like trend aware, will like be into stuff that was a thing that was cool when I was a kid that I know about. And they hate that. Uh, it, which is so surprising to me because I thought it would be more of like a cool, interesting. We have a comment. No, that makes it bad. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like it makes it fatter that I. I know of it, it's worse. It's like a bad, it's bad. It's not common ground. It's just that they hate that I know of it. Yeah.

• 47:08Griffin McElroy?

  That's a bummer.

• 47:09Travis McElroy?

  But it doesn't make them not like it anymore. They just hate the fact that you know about it. And I try to keep my mouth shut. Yeah.

• 47:17Travis McElroy?

  Try to keep it to myself.

• 47:18Griffin McElroy?

  But do they know how important their approval is to us?

• 47:21Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, they know that as well as they know their own names and they kind of dangle it from me all the time. Charlie and Cooper approve of me left and right because they're not, because I'm not their dad, right? But they gotta push me to, they have high expectations from me. Yeah. And they have no expectations of you. Yeah. But they know I'm not going anywhere with my life. Right. I need this.

• 47:41Griffin McElroy?

  And they provide you the support that you need to achieve those goals that they do set for you, Juice, which I think is huge.

• 47:46Travis McElroy?

  They do not. They do, they, no, they don't. They yell at me for apples. They do. Okay, but you don't see, Justin, you don't see the motivat- They come to me every day at the end. They're like, I hated having to yell at him for apples.

• 47:59Griffin McElroy?

  They really don't.

• 47:59Travis McElroy?

  I hated, I hated having to do it, but if I don't do it- I hated yelling at him for apples. I hated biting into it, but not even finishing the bite. So there's just teeth marks and instead of it down to rot. And I talked about how hungry I was for an hour and a half before he gave me that apple and then I took one bite. And I hated having to do that, but if I don't do that, he's not gonna be the best Justin he could be. Yeah. I, I hated, I hated screaming at him that I was missing something, so I couldn't go to sleep and not knowing what the something was. And, but insisting that there was something. I hated to do it, but you know, he's never gonna achieve greatness unless they're pushing him to his limits. And look at you, Justin, almost there.

• 48:38Griffin McElroy?

  Almost.

• 48:39Travis McElroy?

  Get me now. Getting closer. Closer than ever, one assumes. Closer than ever.

• 48:45Griffin McElroy?

  I do just, last thing, I, I, I want to leave this one behind, but there is a section called improving your technique. And the first step in it is do the side to side grind. Dancing the exact same way can get old after a while. So once you and your partner have been grinding the traditional way for a while, go for the side to side move. This way, the, I'm gonna adjust the language here a bit. This way, the little grinder moves to the left while the big grinder moves to the right.

• 49:09Travis McElroy?

  Then gender, gender neutral grinding and-

• 49:11Griffin McElroy?

  Little grinders and big grinder is on the right, so they're always on opposite sides. Though you'll be turned away.

• 49:17Travis McElroy?

  That's just how sides work. I don't need a wiki article for that. Is this like your challenge, one of those challenging things where you're kind of?

• 49:23Griffin McElroy?

  It's almost like a, like a grease.

• 49:25Travis McElroy?

  Oh, okay.

• 49:26Griffin McElroy?

  Grease choreography.

• 49:27Travis McElroy?

  I got it. It's like a horizontal grind rather than a, it's more a lateral grind.

• 49:32Griffin McElroy?

  It's important you keep your synchronized, perfectly circular motion. As long as you guys are doing the exact same motion, there will be zero friction whatsoever, and that's the goal, people.

• 49:44Travis McElroy?

  Where slippery pants is important too.

• 49:48Griffin McElroy?

  So many people grinding and you can hear the fabric rubbing together and it's like, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

• 49:54Travis McElroy?

  No corduroy. You could start a fire.

• 49:56Griffin McElroy?

  You need to synchronize your circular motion so that you do not rub against each other at all.

• 50:03Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 50:03Griffin McElroy?

  At all. That's, that's the way that it is intended to go.

• 50:08Travis McElroy?

  And hope no one sees you.

• 50:10Griffin McElroy?

  You can't let anyone see you do this dance. It is of paramount importance.

• 50:15Travis McElroy?

  You, this is important. If I was a DJ and I don't know how I'd feel, like, would I feel respect for the first couple grinding? Like, I've started the dance. But how soon? If it's like first song plays and immediately someone's grinding, is it like, oh, I get it?

• 50:33Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I mean, Travis, famously, most weddings do have a special kickoff event.

• 50:38Travis McElroy?

  Oh, I was thinking school dance. I wasn't assuming this was beginning at a wedding reception, not kicking off right away.

• 50:44Griffin McElroy?

  That would be kick ass, though, if the, the first dance ended and you and your partner just ran out on the dance floor, gasping for air, like, oh, thank Christ. We can, oh, thank God, we can grind.

• 50:55Travis McElroy?

  Now that we're married.

• 50:58Travis McElroy?

  Now that it's legal in the eyes of Christ.

• 51:01Griffin McElroy?

  God, you guys picked the longest first dance song fucking ever.

• 51:06Travis McElroy?

  I was grinding in my chair.

• 51:09Travis McElroy?

  These hips gotta grind.

• 51:12Griffin McElroy?

  La la la la la.

• 51:14Travis McElroy?

  All right.

• 51:15Griffin McElroy?

  La la la la la. I lied.

• 51:19Travis McElroy?

  I want a munch. Squad. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. I want to munch. Squad. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. Squat. It's podcast of the podcast profile, the latest greatest brand eating Travis, go ahead. Took me a second to connect that. I lied to when we asked if you had a munch squad and you said no and not. Just a little confession. I was in there in the middle of munch. I lied about it. Sodiak killer. I did it. I just, I just want to celebrate Little Caesars for returning to a grand tradition that honestly has been sadly missing a little bit, and that is the press release for the thing that absolutely did not need a press release and certainly not one that is this long.

• 52:04Travis McElroy?

  Little Caesars reveals Super Bowl ad featuring new bacon and cheese crazy puffs. Little Caesars, which that says here, Little Caesars, the third largest pizza chain in the world and the official pizza sponsor of the NFL is featuring a breakthrough ad in Super Bowl licks starring Emmy winner Eugene Levy and showcasing the all new bacon and cheese crazy puffs that will leave fans saying, tastes like whoa. Long after the big game concludes, but it tastes like whoa. Tastes like happy tastes good like. Now, I think you guys are saying at this point, oh, Eugene Levy and a Little Caesars commercial. Cool. No, no, no, they're not done. Come back. The 30 second spot showcases Eugene Levy in a hilarious jaw dropping moment of astonishment.

• 52:47Travis McElroy?

  Where the irresistible flavor of crazy puffs causes his iconic eyebrows to comically disappear. Adding to the fun, Levy's daughter, sorry, you what? To disappear? Yeah. Fade from existence? You're already laughing, right? But adding to the fun, Levy's daughter, daughter Sarah Levy, also known for her role in the Emmy winning series Schitt's Creek, makes a cameo, infusing the ad with a playful to failure dynamic.

• 53:16Travis McElroy?

  I can't wait to watch this fucking thing, man. Oh, you're gonna. Little Caesars has a history of partnering with Hollywood stars. And top talent to deliver culturally relevant campaigns like one starring Eugene Levy. And his daughter Sarah Levy from Schitt's Creek. The spot, uh, little by featuring Eugene Levy, an acclaimed and beloved comedian. Little Caesar's reaffirms its commitment to bold and memorable storytelling. Levy's charisma and universal charm enable the brand to connect with audiences in innovative ways. Extending its reach beyond traditional food marketing. Awesome.

• 53:58Travis McElroy?

  You know that the fucking vision to put Eugene Levy in it. The draft of this presented to somebody, I'm like, am I making too bold a claim regarding what people associate? No. When you're like, we have a history of using like big stars and stuff, or like our commitment to storytelling. Is that weird for a pizza brand? When I saw the Little Caesar's commercial, my first thought is what are the implications of this? What is, what are the implications as a brand for Little Caesar's that this hap? What's it all mean? And why did they decide it? He's like a storyteller.

• 54:40Travis McElroy?

  But I was so excited to see because I feel like they lost their way for a while in regards to storytelling. And they were mostly focused on making pizzas. And now that they've recommitted themselves to storytelling, I can't wait to see what the LCU gets up to these days. They had a story that worked and it was little Roman guy with a spear taps it on the ground and the two pizzas flip. Yeah, and he likes both of them. They didn't have to do Ash for the longest time because their pitch was this. We will give you two pizzas. Yeah. You know how everybody else gives you one pizza? We will give you two. We'll give you two. That's the story. Buy one and we will give you two pizzas. That's our model. They don't do this model as much anymore, but that was the model for a long time is that

• 55:24Travis McElroy?

  you had to take two pizzas. This spot launches Little Caesar's newest campaign spotlighting its wildly popular crazy puffs line. Joining the top selling pepperoni crazy puffs and four cheese varieties bacon and cheese promises to be a fan favorite with a blend of mozzarella, muenster and cheddar cheeses, pizza sauce and topped with appleswood smoked bacon, a buttery garlic flavored drizzle and Parmesan cheese. Now I know what you're thinking, now that you know all about Eugene Levy and the puffs and the ad, there's certainly nothing else that could be in this press release. Yeah, what could there be? Here's another quote, "This ad is all about celebrating the bold, crave-worthy fun that is Little Caesar's. And the addition of bacon and cheese crazy puffs takes it to a whole other level." Fuck yeah. Said Greg Hamilton.

• 56:09Travis McElroy?

  How long is this ad? "With Eugene Levy at the helm, we've created a spot that's as deliciously entertaining as crazy puffs themselves. Working with such an iconic talent showcases our commitment to delivering not only amazing flavors, but also unforgettable brand experience." Can you guys fucking imagine what it was like on that set? Just between every take, first of all busting up because Eugene is doing his thing and his eyebrows are gone? That's fucking really funny. And then they're probably also tearing up because of the family element of it of now his daughter's there in a cameo. And they know what they're doing is important, like it's important and it's a tough time, but it's gonna fix. This ad is 53 minutes long.

• 56:51Travis McElroy?

  It's seconds, but okay, listen, here's the thing, guys, you won't be able to hear this, so what we'll do is anytime there's words, I'll just say them, okay? Is that, does that? This is gonna be insane. Yeah. So he's, also, he's coming out and he's, uh, he's, it's Eugene Levy and he's got some crazy puffs, he's about to bite one. All right, Little Caesar's crazy puffs. Whoa.

• 57:20Speaker 01

  Huh. Oh. Is this a little bit cheap? Ah! Ah! We're not ready. We're not ready. Nothing cake comes in. It is so cute. My dad's eating crazy puffs again. Don't ask. Whoa, have you tried the new bacon ones?

• 57:37Travis McElroy?

  There are bacon ones? Pizza pizza. Horrifying.

• 57:43Griffin McElroy?

  It's pretty scary. I don't want my eyebrows to fly away from my face.

• 57:47Travis McElroy?

  Or terrorize the.

• 57:49Griffin McElroy?

  I don't want my eyebrows to fly off my face and land on a strange baby that I don't know.

• 57:53Travis McElroy?

  Seek out my daughter for some kind of comfort and guidance?

• 57:58Griffin McElroy?

  Embarrass my daughter at her fancy lunches she's having?

• 58:02Travis McElroy?

  I love the implications here to the deeper implications that Eugene Levy noted. Movie star, comedian, public person, has lived such a sheltered life that eating just what appears to be the cheese crazy puffs is enough of an experience to drive his eyebrows off his face.

• 58:26Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. What do you think it's like having a body feature that's so memorable and prominent that it becomes the absolute cornerstone of an entire Super Bowl ad?

• 58:40Travis McElroy?

  I feel bad because he's got to feel trapped. Like, he may have days where he wants to shave them off. Do you think him and Peter Gallagher ever get together and just like talk about what it's like?

• 58:50Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, yeah.

• 58:51Travis McElroy?

  It's probably hard. Do you ever think about, you ever think about just plucking them?

• 58:54Griffin McElroy?

  Do you think Eugene Levy's ever like, no one ever talks about my huge balls?

• 59:01Griffin McElroy?

  Because his eyebrows is like the number one thing that people associate.

• 59:05Travis McElroy?

  I bet he says that all the time.

• 59:06Griffin McElroy?

  But if he had huge, huge balls and he would be angry that no one knows about that?

• 59:13Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 59:15Griffin McElroy?

  Wouldn't you be so pissed?

• 59:16Travis McElroy?

  I'd be so mad. Huge, beautiful balls.

• 59:20Travis McElroy?

  Bowl and it's gonna be crazy. They have a new fucking shrimp Alfredo. He eats them and you just hear a loud clunk.

• 59:32Travis McElroy?

  Blows his balls off his butt.

• 59:36Griffin McElroy?

  The fucking press release is like, it's family is important to Little Caesars. That's why in this commercial, Luigi Levy's huge balls get blown off by our shrimp Alfredo crazy. His son Dan Levy shows up to be like, oh no dad, not like this.

• 59:52Travis McElroy?

  His best friend Martin Short is like, oh no, not again. Not your balls, not your big beautiful balls.

• 59:59Griffin McElroy?

  When his comedian son Dan Levy from Schitt's Creek is rollerblading and trips on his dad's huge balls as they roll away from his body because of the crazy puffs. That means family to Little Caesars.

• 1:00:10Travis McElroy?

  By the way, everybody from Schitt's Creek at the main cast has, is in a Super Bowl commercial this year. Good for them, man. Get that. What an achievement. Get that. What an achievement. I thanks uh so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you've enjoyed. I'm I'm in tears.

• 1:00:27Griffin McElroy?

  And thank you, Eugene Levy for.

• 1:00:28Travis McElroy?

  Thank you, Eugene Levy, for your huge balls.

• 1:00:30Griffin McElroy?

  We're just goofing.

• 1:00:32Travis McElroy?

  Just goofing and having some fun.

• 1:00:33Griffin McElroy?

  Unless you do have big huge balls.

• 1:00:34Travis McElroy?

  I don't know. I don't want to talk about it.

• 1:00:36Griffin McElroy?

  Doesn't matter. I don't want to talk about it anymore.

• 1:00:37Travis McElroy?

  Hey, but what I do want to talk about this week, uh my brother, my brother, me and Adventure Zone is coming to Florida. It's our first ever live adventure zone in Florida. We're doing Taz versus Romeo versus Juliet. Um, and uh my brother, my brother and me on either side of that one. So you can get all the info, get the tickets at bit.ly. Slash McRoy tours. If you have questions that you want us to do at the my brother, my brother me shows, then email it to MBMBAM at maximumfun.org and put which city you're going to be at. And also send in uh what you're going to be faster than fear this year that you want to be read. Oh, yeah. At the show and we'll do that as well. Um, also coming up here in May, Champions Grove 2025.

• 1:01:22Travis McElroy?

  Uh, we got a couple of packages left. Don't miss your chance to be a part of the fun. Justin, you were there last year. I was Travis. I had a great time and I think anybody that goes is just gonna have the time of their lives.

• 1:01:32Griffin McElroy?

  And he buried a great treasure.

• 1:01:34Travis McElroy?

  Yes, friendship. And yeah, it's a body of a friend. So go dig it up. Friendship is the best treasure. Check that out at championsgrove.com. Come hang out at a castle in Hocking Hills, Ohio with me and some other RPG creators and play some games and make some new friends and have a great time. Championsgrove.com. What else, boys?

• 1:01:54Griffin McElroy?

  We got merch over at McElroymerch.com. I want to highlight a wonderful poetry corner bumper magnet for your car designed by Daniel Wagner. If you're a fan of my wife's knowledge of poetry and how she shares it so generously on our podcast, Wonderful, then you can make that known to the world over at McElroymerch.com. And 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to World Central Kitchen, which uses the power of food to nourish communities and strengthen economies through times of crisis and beyond. And thank you so much also to Montaigne for his theme song, "My Life is Better With You."

• 1:02:29Travis McElroy?

  If you are looking for ways to get involved, looking for ways to donate, we do have a list of the organizations and nonprofits that we've worked with or donated to over the years. If you want to check that out, it's at McElroyfamily.carrd.co.

• 1:02:44Griffin McElroy?

  Do we have a wish?

• 1:02:44Travis McElroy?

  We do. Well, not a wish. We have a fear.

• 1:02:46Griffin McElroy?

  Not a wish. Well, I still will. I still call them wishes.

• 1:02:49Travis McElroy?

  Okay, okay.

• 1:02:50Griffin McElroy?

  It's a wish to get over a fear.

• 1:02:52Travis McElroy?

  Justin, do you want to read it? I'd be happy to, Trav. This year, I'm going to stop being afraid of my Pokémon team getting jealous if I spend too much time with just one of them.

• 1:03:06Travis McElroy?

  My name's Justin McElroy.

• 1:03:06Griffin McElroy?

  It's a real mechanic in the game. Like, if there's some Pokémon only evolved.

• 1:03:09Travis McElroy?

  My name's Justin McElroy. I shouldn't have to hear about Pokémon.

• 1:03:12Griffin McElroy?

  I'm Griffin McElroy.

• 1:03:14Travis McElroy?

  This has been My Brother My Brother. May kiss your dad square on the lips.