Oh No Mahomes, Burrow’s Funk, Old Man Rivers, Denver’s Hot Streak, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal right after the Vikings take down the Cowboys to recap an eventful Week 15 (6:40). Then, they guess the lines for Week 16 before ending with Parent Corner (01:07:56). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producers: Chia Hao Tat and Jessie Lopez Michelob ULTRA Courtside could get you closer to the game! michelobultra.com/courtside This episode is sponsored by State Farm®. Don’t settle for just any insurance when there’s State Farm. The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit⁠⁠⁠ www.rg-help.com⁠⁠⁠ to learn more about the resources and helplines available. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Bill Simmons?

  This episode is brought to you by Sony Pictures Classics. A perfect crime film, says The Daily Beast. John Tortore gives a career best performance. Don't miss the acclaimed new thriller, The Only Living Pickpocket in New York. Tortore stars as an aging master pickpocket, whose latest score puts him in the crosshairs of a ruthless crime family. It's also starring Giancarlo Esposito, Tatiana Maslany, Will Price, and our guy, Steve Buscemi. See the film that The LA Times calls instantly classic, The Only Living Pickpocket in New York, now playing in theaters nationwide.

• 0:40Bill Simmons?

  The Bill Simmons Podcast brought to you by The Ringer Podcast Network. I have a new rewatchable coming for you on Monday night. We did High Fidelity. We had four people for this one. Went almost two hours. It's the 25th anniversary of this movie. So we did, we did it justice. I'm excited to have this one come out. You can watch it on all platforms, watch it on Spotify, watch it or listen to it. Wherever, if you miss Music Box, we put up our latest installment, which was about Whiz Kid. So we have Jeff Buckley, Whiz Kid. And then this week, coming Thursday, The Counting Crows. Have You Seen Me Lately? It's called. It's really about their first two albums. And the idea from this came from a podcast that I actually did on this feed

• 1:24Bill Simmons?

  with, with Adam Duritz, Once Upon a Time. And we decided it would actually make for a really good documentary. So it's really good. I can't wait for you to watch that one. So stay tuned. That's coming Thursday. You'll be able to watch it on HBO Max as soon as it goes up on HBO. This was a really sad and, and just kind of an awful weekend. We had the shootings at Brown University, which every parent's worst nightmare, every student's worst nightmare, every faculty member's worst nightmare, just horrible. There was another mass shooting in, in Australia. And then, and then as, before we started doing this podcast, news broke that Rob Reiner and his wife were murdered at their, at their house. And it seems like a family member was involved.

• 2:09Bill Simmons?

  I'm not going to speculate on that, but there's pretty strong evidence that. Somebody, somebody who was related to them did it and it's just, just an awful story. And Rob Reiner is one of those guys that I think had a pretty close to unanimous approval rating for just a career he had. He was a little bit of a one on one. When I was growing up, he was in All in the Family, which was one of the biggest half hour shows of the seventies. It's certainly in the running. It was like Mash, All in the Family. It was one of the, one of the icons and he was Archie Bunker's son in law. And then all of a sudden he did this crossover and he started directing. And at that point, he was Carl Reiner's son,

• 2:51Bill Simmons?

  who had just been all in the family and that was it. And he does Spinal Tap. He does The Sure Thing, which is a movie we've wanted to do on rewatchables forever, but you can't find it anywhere. But it's, it's John Cusack's breakout movie. It's great. And then he did Stand By Me, he did Princess Bride, he did When Harry Met Sally, did Misery, he did A Few Good Men, An American President. Six movies we've already done on the rewatchables. And we've done A Few Good Men twice. And we've talked about him on those podcasts a couple of times about some directors just have a knack for having, like he had a basically a decade and a half long run there of just directing really entertaining, rewatchable

• 3:31Bill Simmons?

  movies that mattered with big stars and putting stars in the right light. So he did that. Just that run alone, it would have been, uh, would have been an incredible career for him. But he also, he did a bunch of stuff as an activist. He was very, very involved in the, in the community out here. And then on top of everything else, started Castle Rock, which did all these different movies you've heard of, but most importantly, Greenlit Seinfeld and was the production company for Seinfeld and.

• 4:03Bill Simmons?

  Was the most lucrative green light in the history of television. It's a show that you could go on Netflix right now and it's still on. This was during a time when a lot of independent production companies, either they went under their vanity projects that there weren't like a ton of success rates for this, for somebody being like, I'm gonna use my clout and the money I made and get a couple investors and really try to make good movies. And I've talked on rewatchables in the past about, I have all those premier magazines from the late eighties and the early nineties. And Castle Rock's like one of the heroes of the magazines because you have all these big, you know, big studios and they're trying to make sequels and they're trying to make superhero movies.

• 4:46Bill Simmons?

  And basically trying to ruin movies in a bunch of different ways. And the true artists and the true people who cared about talent and working with the best creatives. There were these smaller studios, places like Miramax, places like Castle Rock, that were, you know, zagging and trying to give people the right voices. And he was a big part of that. So even if he had just done Castle Rock, that would have been incredible. Even if he had just been unall in the family and been Carl Reiner's son and bounced around as an actor. I mean, he was in a bunch of movies. He was in Sleepless in Seattle. You look at his IMDb, he was in more movies than you realize. But then you throw in the directing run he had too. And it was just an amazing career. And he seemed like one of those guys that was just gonna be around forever.

• 5:32Bill Simmons?

  And now sadly he's not, but I think you'll hear a lot about him this week. And I just thought, especially like, you know, rewatchables, we've done 415, 400, I think 450 movies at this point or something close. And there's just certain directors that something about the way they made the movie, you could watch it again and again and again for the next couple of years, the next 10 years, next 15 years, next 20 years, the choices they make, they just have a sense of what people want. And he was one of those guys. So I thought this was really, really sad news this week. And I felt really bad for his family and just all his friends because he had a bunch of them. So I just wanted to mention that. Coming up, Cousins Allen, I're gonna talk a lot of football.

• 6:16Bill Simmons?

  We did, we went live on YouTube after the Cowboys game. So that's coming up after the break and Pearl Jam. This episode of the Bill Simmons Podcast is presented by State Farm. Having insurance isn't the same as having State Farm. It's like expecting a linebacker on the football field, but getting a line cook. Sure, they both can handle the pressure when it starts heating up, but only one is stopping a touchdown. You wouldn't settle for just anything for your team. So don't settle for just any insurance when it comes to getting help you need. State Farm is the real deal. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

• 7:16Bill Simmons?

  A December tradition, going live after a Sunday night game. That was really bad for the Dallas Cowboys. We'll start there. It was an action packed Sunday night, but Sal, I think your season's over. Any last words?

• 7:29Speaker 01

  It sets up nicely for you, right? Nice little early Christmas gift for you. I'm happy, I'm happy.

• 7:35Bill Simmons?

  What's the Christmas gift? You being sad?

• 7:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:37Bill Simmons?

  How is that a Christmas gift?

• 7:39Speaker 01

  You love this.

• 7:40Bill Simmons?

  I don't. I was excited for, for you to kind of hang around and at least have the Christmas game mean something. I mean, there's coal under the Christmas stocking of Amazon and Netflix tonight.

• 7:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's true.

• 7:52Bill Simmons?

  The KC is the Amazon night game. They're done. Put a fork in them. And then the other one, it's Dallas, Washington. That means nothing.

• 8:00Speaker 01

  Right.

• 8:00Bill Simmons?

  And then, and then, uh, although Dallas, it is fun to have them on Christmas, I guess. But then the other one is Minnesota, Detroit. And Detroit's on the outside looking in. And these are all games that seem like they were really good games, you know?

• 8:13Speaker 01

  I don't care about those people. I care about me. I mean, I love, I love Netflix. I love, love, love Netflix, but I just, uh, no, I gotta, I, I, I'm a little, I'm relieved. I have to say, I'm a little, I'm like, you know, when, when he was missing those field goals and the Vikings got a couple of first downs to clinch it. By the way, they scored 34 points, another F you to us for Herschel Walker's number. So, but I, you know, I was like John Cena, just, just had a half a smirk on my face, just tapping, just tapping, that's over.

• 8:43Bill Simmons?

  You're paying it forward. You're paying it forward for next season.

• 8:46Speaker 01

  Go get it, JJ McCarthy. It's all yours now, whatever you want.

• 8:52Bill Simmons?

  We should talk about that John Cena thing. I liked it. Most people didn't like it.

• 8:57Speaker 01

  Did you really?

• 8:58Bill Simmons?

  I thought it was a good zag. I thought it was the Sopranos ending of WWE farewells.

• 9:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was also terrible.

• 9:05Bill Simmons?

  Ten years from now, I think it'll be good.

• 9:07Speaker 01

  Ten years, are people gonna know Gunther in ten years, whatever his name is?

• 9:12Bill Simmons?

  He's a huge heel now.

• 9:13Speaker 01

  All right.

• 9:14Bill Simmons?

  It's big for him.

• 9:15Speaker 01

  It's fine.

• 9:15Bill Simmons?

  I like it. Cena was symbolically saying, I'm literally tapping out.

• 9:21Speaker 01

  Yeah. I felt like, well, I actually don't think he tried hard enough and you keeping him in your living room for two and a half hours didn't help. He was unfocused.

• 9:29Bill Simmons?

  I might have worn him out.

• 9:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, he should have been, he should have been more into the match. There was some, some spots where he really could have won if he had put his head to it, but.

• 9:37Bill Simmons?

  I know. It's just over and it's so funny with wrestling.

• 9:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:41Bill Simmons?

  You see, when they go for their finishing move and then the guy kicks out, you never expect it.

• 9:45Speaker 01

  Right. I hate that. I hate that. Right. I hate that Jerry keeps kicking out on my side.

• 9:52Bill Simmons?

  Jerry was, at the start of the game, had a big, big smile on his face and it was like the, you know, it's hard not to be cynical and be like, oh, the Parsons trade kinda worked out in his favor, I guess, now that Parsons is probably out for the year. Dallas now with a losing record and it seems like their big contribution to the year was the tie they had with the Packers, which is gonna completely screw up all of the playoff standings. The Bears are in second place now. We have, we're gonna go through all the ramifications of anything, but the only thing I'll say about the Vikings-Cowboys game, other than Collinsworth just doing an exemplary job of selling us McCarthy for three hours. Mike, he just, he's having fun, Mike. He's just slinging the ball, Mike. It's like Dallas

• 10:36Bill Simmons?

  is terrible. Everyone does this against Dallas. What are you talking about?

• 10:39Speaker 01

  He has two ways to go with these quarterbacks. If it's a Josh Allen type or, you know,

• 10:45Bill Simmons?

  That's chuckles. Yeah, those are chuckles.

• 10:49Speaker 01

  Otherworldly what he's doing, but if it's a guy who is just having a good night and isn't expected to repeat this, like, ah, he's having fun. He's doing, he's doing all right, you know?

• 10:58Bill Simmons?

  No, there's a third one. It's like if he'd had the Trevor Lawrence Jets game today. Mike, I, I think Trevor Lawrence has unlocked something here, Mike.

• 11:06Speaker 01

  Right, yeah.

• 11:07Bill Simmons?

  I think this is a guy who finally realizes who he is. I think he would have done that whole thing. The Vikings.

• 11:15Bill Simmons?

  I don't know, the quarterback, they, they're six and eight. Certainly probably have, I would say enough talent to be better than a six and eight team, but that's kind of the league this year. All right. Enough about that game. Let's talk about a whole bunch of things that happened today.

• 11:33Speaker 01

  Great slate, very exciting slate going in and it lived up to its billing and the five.

• 11:38Bill Simmons?

  Really did.

• 11:39Speaker 01

  One 25 games, you know, Pacific time. Really nice, really nice.

• 11:43Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, we had a nice little multi-view in the, in the late games where all the games were in play for a bunch of different reasons. We gotta start with Chiefs Chargers. In the words of Brian Flanagan, everything ends badly, otherwise it wouldn't end. This, this Chiefs thing ended badly for our wallets.

• 12:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:02Bill Simmons?

  Uh, for Chiefs dynasty stuff. And then on top of it, when you thought it couldn't get any worse, Mahomes, his body finally breaks down symbolically and, uh, and it seemed like, oh, he tweaked his knee because he's a little like LeBron, where it seems like he's always hurt, but he's fine.

• 12:17Speaker 01

  Right.

• 12:18Bill Simmons?

  And he's not fine. He tore his ACL. Their season's over.

• 12:23Bill Simmons?

  I guess he'll be back for next season. That's for football. It seems like that's a nine, 10 month injury. So who knows? But, uh, I, I thought it was a shocking game because it's not like the Chargers did that much offensively. Their defense won the game. But it felt like before halftime and the Chargers who did nothing and they had this stupid drive. And then all of a sudden they score right before halftime and, and I think Chiefs fans and people who had the Chiefs in parlays and straight ups were like, this is bad.

• 12:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, for sure.

• 12:56Bill Simmons?

  You and I were two of them. We were texting about it. We were like, that was bad.

• 12:59Speaker 01

  Why, why do we do this? What, last Sunday, exactly a week ago, like what happens to us psychologically over the week? Like we left them for dead on this podcast. They got nothing left. Mahomes isn't the same. These receivers don't care. It's three and a half. Oh, wow. Went to four and a half. Well, oh, it's five and a half. Oh, we have to have this. Nothing at all changed from Sunday night, but then we had to have the Chiefs at five and a half. But yeah, you're right. I was pissed off. I was mad that they were going to get a field goal before half the Chargers. And then they end up getting a touchdown with 12 seconds left. I'm like, damn it. This is going to be tough to cover.

• 13:33Bill Simmons?

  I think that was their only touchdown drive, right?

• 13:35Speaker 01

  That was it, right?

• 13:36Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, they.

• 13:37Speaker 01

  Three field goals.

• 13:39Bill Simmons?

  You know, they scored 16 points.

• 13:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:43Bill Simmons?

  Did I think the Chiefs would have more than 13? I did.

• 13:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:47Bill Simmons?

  That was the problem, but the Chargers defense, they're really physical, they dial it up. And it was two weeks in a row where the Chiefs receivers were just getting the shit kicked out of them. Right? Rice took more hits in the last two weeks than most guys, I think, take in a year, but uh, it's a weird game. I'm not sure either of these teams, like if the Chiefs had been able to crawl back, I don't think they would have been a threat. I don't really feel like this Chargers team is that much of a threat either, but they're going to be hanging around in this playoff race. It was a great win for them. Cold weather, west coast team going east. Herbert's playing with a broken, whatever he has, left hand, left wrist, whatever it is.

• 14:25Speaker 01

  It was the best, it was the best win of all the wins today. That was the best one for a team. It was the Chargers. Right? Cause I think they were going to have a tough time clawing to 11 wins without this game. They got, well, I look at it now, at Dallas, Houston and at Denver. Those last two should be tough, but um, but now they're looking good for the playoffs at least and uh, I, you know, and Herbert was throwing, I was like, it was, it's his left hand that's messed up, right? Cause some of those passes were very wobbly. The touchdown pass was wobbly. A couple others were wobbly. And then the Chiefs, but you said it, we, Chiefs scored 20 points. It's over. They win the game, but I don't feel like they have any plays anymore. Do you feel that way?

• 15:05Bill Simmons?

  I know. Well, they have the play where Mahomes would not find anybody open and then roll right and right before he's going out of bounds. He would throw it to somebody.

• 15:14Speaker 01

  That's a good one.

• 15:15Bill Simmons?

  Is that play? It's tough because they couldn't throw the ball deep and they, they probably had the worst set of running backs in the league.

• 15:22Speaker 01

  Right.

• 15:22Bill Simmons?

  Right? Did they, did anybody have, even Houston today, I had Woody Marks in fantasy. We'll talk about his uh, controversial touchdown later, but he goes out, they bring in some dude I've never heard of and the guy ended up with a hundred yards.

• 15:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:37Bill Simmons?

  And their third down back was good too. Like all three of their running backs were better than anybody the Chiefs had, but they just kind of ran out of skill guys. And I think some of the higher draft picks they took, like guys like Worthy, they took that. Uh, left tackle this draft, I got hurt. They spent their second round in the last draft on a right tackle who I don't think really made it. And they started missing on their draft picks, which I think is what really sunk them.

• 16:00Speaker 01

  I mean, Mahomes, we discussed it last week. He's not himself, he was himself, maybe two, three levels below what we used to with him. But these receivers, they don't do him any favors. They're so soft, rice worthy. They feel like, I feel like they play other positions and like, Coach, how, how much longer do we have to play wide receiver here? Like they, they don't really even look like they fit the, the scheme of the offense. And, uh, yeah, you're right. And Isaiah Pacheco, like you talk about the not being able to get a running game. Like, would you ever consider starting that guy in fantasy under any circumstances at this point? What a disaster.

• 16:36Bill Simmons?

  I wrote down, we, we'd kind of given year from hell to either Washington or Baltimore.

• 16:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:41Bill Simmons?

  The year from hell team. It turned out it was Casey pulled off the Scooby Doo mask and it was them all along. This was the year from hell, ending with, uh, the terrible Mahomes injury. So it's year eight for Mahomes, three Super Bowls and lost the Super Bowl in year seven. Nick Wright made this point on my podcast on Thursday, that the parallel of him and Brady was like basically the same arc. The two guys.

• 17:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:08Bill Simmons?

  Brady, I think tore his ACL in the eight, in his eighth season.

• 17:11Speaker 01

  Year nine, I think. Yeah.

• 17:12Bill Simmons?

  Or his year nine. And Mahomes was year eight, but it was just kind of weird how that.

• 17:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:17Bill Simmons?

  But even before the ACL, like it was, it had to be asked, like, was this, was this starting to feel a little poo, poo holes-ish?

• 17:26Speaker 01

  Right, right, right.

• 17:27Bill Simmons?

  Like with somebody who just looked like one of the all time guys ever in their twenties. And then in the thirties, it just tilted a little bit. I guess we'll find out. It's certainly, uh, you know, between the way the season ended and now he's coming back from a major injury. This is by far the most adversity he's faced in his career.

• 17:45Speaker 01

  And not to mention they're 44 million over the cap going into the off season. I know the cap goes up and everything, but they have a lot of gaps to fill. But yeah, I think we have to figure out like, what was weird? When, when, uh, Kelsey used to be open by 20 yards all the time, every third play, or nobody ever getting open. Um, but it was just, I don't think either of us thought that the dynasty would end with Gardner Minshew throwing an interception after a delay of game call that took them out of field goal range.

• 18:12Bill Simmons?

  I forgot about the delay of game. The interception was actually kind of hilarious because he had sucked me in. Because I had the Chiefs money line. He came in and I was like, you know, I've had some good moments with Gardner Mitchell over the years where unexpectedly he pulled and then just a terrible pass in traffic. You mentioned like the how they're over the cap next year and I'm sure this will be a topic this week about whether they make next year, they're kind of blow it up and rebuild and take all the cap hits and Kelsey retire. Andy Reid turned 68 in March and the oldest Super Bowl winning coach ever was Bruce Arians, who was 68. So you have that piece too, where it's like, all right, we're going to do,

• 18:55Bill Simmons?

  you either say, we're going to throw away next year, we'll take our lumps, we'll try to reset our cap in a year from now when Mahomes is healthy again, or you do that, well, Andy Reid's going to be 68, Mahomes can be ready in time for September and every year we have Mahomes, you can't throw it away. Let's fucking go. So it'll be interesting to see how they play it. Their draft pick will be a little better maybe than they would typically get. It'll probably be like in the 12 to 15 range.

• 19:19Speaker 01

  They should get a receiver. They should get a flashy receiver.

• 19:22Bill Simmons?

  Or a left tackle.

• 19:23Speaker 01

  Fast one, really fast, good, lit it up in the combines. That's what they should do.

• 19:27Bill Simmons?

  Right. And they had the Chris Joneses and, you know, he's getting on in his career. They're going to lose Kelsey. I assume Kelsey's going to retire.

• 19:35Speaker 01

  Right.

• 19:36Bill Simmons?

  So we'll see, we'll see what happens with that. But that was kind of a shocking game. Kept waiting for the Chiefs to come back. Mahomes had a bad turnover in the second half. That was surprising. We just thought, this is what happens with these teams. Like, what do you think they are against the spread now this season? Cause I feel like I've personally lost five games with them this year.

• 19:57Speaker 01

  Well, that's what, 0-7, 1-7 and one score games now? So yeah, they're right there. Now, when that's what's weird, they were going to be favored the rest of the year. People were talking about on our pregame show, take them to win the Super Bowl if you like them today. 55 to 1. Like, all right, I don't know if I like them to win eight in a row, but I do like them today. And God, not even close. They're not winning the Super Bowl everyone. Sorry, Nick Wright.

• 20:19Bill Simmons?

  What happened to how the refs used to fix the games for them? I guess that can't happen. That doesn't happen anymore. Maybe they had that exclusive contract that expired after seven years?

• 20:28Speaker 01

  That's it.

• 20:29Bill Simmons?

  Well, great for the Chargers. And then you look at the, the big picture with the playoffs. Where the Chargers are in, the three wild cards are Buffalo, the Chargers and Houston.

• 20:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's pretty much.

• 20:41Bill Simmons?

  Three teams you wouldn't want to play. And then the NFC, the wild cards right now would be Seattle, San Francisco and Green Bay. That has to be the best six wild cards we've had at least this decade, right? Like, there's not an easy one out of those six.

• 20:55Speaker 01

  It's pretty good. I don't know if I trust any of them. That's one thing. I'm going to trust the fewest, you're right, the, the, the teams are pretty solid, but as far as trusting, like, we're always looking for, all right, who's the team we're going to bet against? I have five. I have like five teams I'm excited to bet against in the playoffs.

• 21:12Bill Simmons?

  Who's the team I don't want to bet against?

• 21:14Speaker 01

  Maybe four.

• 21:14Bill Simmons?

  Because I want to bet against everybody.

• 21:16Speaker 01

  Mine's gone. Yeah.

• 21:17Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that's so the Chargers are 10 and 4 at Dallas, home Houston, at Denver, the last three. They have some good wins, though. They beat KC twice, they beat Denver, they beat Pittsburgh, they beat Philly. And they beat Philly the same way they beat KC with pretty physical. I did, I was not a believer. I didn't see it. I thought they had too many injuries, especially after they lost Joe Walt. They lost Hampton for a while, but there is like a January recipe for them. Where they're just like, defense, run the ball, Herbert needs to make two plays, don't beat yourselves. We've seen that work.

• 21:48Speaker 01

  I just, I felt like I, I found an old, like, like a relic when, when I dug up that they lost to Jacksonville by like 28 a few weeks ago. I was like, oh, yeah, that's what this game.

• 21:58Bill Simmons?

  35 to 6, right?

• 21:59Speaker 01

  That's what this game's going to be like today in Kansas City. And it won't really matter, but they'll, they'll get housed and, uh, no, not even close.

• 22:08Bill Simmons?

  The other AFC West game that had a huge impact was Packers Broncos.

• 22:14Speaker 01

  Great game.

• 22:14Bill Simmons?

  And there's this moment. So the, Green Bay's up 23-14 in the third quarter. Denver just had a three and out after halftime. And it feels like Green Bay is about to put the game away. It just feels like they're better. They say, fuck it. They go deep to Watson. Surtan makes a great interception and at the same time hurts Watson. Denver has the ball, Watson's out, and it just felt like the game tilted and flipped on its axis. Parsons gets hurt, I don't know, 45 minutes later, but literally from that moment on, it was Denver's game. And Bo Nix, any questions you had about him, and I'm not sure, I still don't have some questions, but he was incredible for three hours. Like, he really

• 22:59Bill Simmons?

  was great. He had that awesome fourth and three throw in the fourth quarter, but in the first half, he was super accurate. That was the best game I've seen him play. And then you, so would you want to go Denver or you want to go Green Bay for this? Because it was a really important game for both teams.

• 23:14Speaker 01

  Well, you talk about the year from hell. Green Bay might have had the half from hell, the way you described it, right?

• 23:20Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 23:20Speaker 01

  They blow the big lead, they lose Parsons. Uh oh, what is, what does the rest of the season look like? What does even?

• 23:26Bill Simmons?

  Parsons, who was out of control for

• 23:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:29Bill Simmons?

  Four weeks, like just was unblockable and felt like he was being held all the time, basically.

• 23:33Speaker 01

  Yep. And LaFleur is ballsy. The play you mentioned, like going to Watson to put the dagger in, right? They would have been up three touchdowns or 17 with that. And he's like ballsier than Dan Campbell is at this point. Like, he should get the credit that Dan Campbell gets all the time. But that's what happens with something like that. Certain, like you said, made a great play. But Bo Nix, I haven't seen him play a better game. Four touchdowns, crisp throws, right? Lots downfield. They looked like a team I could see getting to the Super Bowl, right?

• 24:02Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 24:02Speaker 01

  And the defense ironically wasn't playing their best. They did have three sacks and had pretty big moments and a couple interceptions, but they didn't lock down like normal. They needed Nix in this game. And he came through. That was a big, you know what? He showed me something. I'm going to say it, Bill. He showed me something.

• 24:18Bill Simmons?

  Oh, you want to give him, he showed me something? Great.

• 24:21Speaker 01

  He really showed me something.

• 24:23Bill Simmons?

  I liked their pass rush. I thought it made a difference in the fourth quarter. Love seemed a little frazzled, but Love, you know, he loses Watson, who was like, I think, his most reliable receiver.

• 24:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:35Bill Simmons?

  And two explosive plays a game. They lose Kraft a couple of weeks ago. Then they lose Parsons. I would argue Parsons, Kraft, and Watson were three of the best seven, eight guys in the team.

• 24:45Speaker 01

  Right.

• 24:46Bill Simmons?

  So, you know, I was, I was thinking about how

• 24:48Speaker 01

  Well, you got Jacobs every Thursday. It's like, he might play, he might not. I mean, he did well today, right? He caught one and he, and he ran for one. But if that guy goes down, then a world of hurt.

• 24:58Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, you're always, you're always wondering what's going to happen with him. The other thing was Yeah, I'm not going to count Green Bay out, but I, I do feel like every single week we've come on this pod and decided somebody else in the NFC looked like they were the team.

• 25:13Speaker 01

  Right.

• 25:13Bill Simmons?

  And Green Bay's now had their moment and we're back to the Rams.

• 25:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:16Bill Simmons?

  And Thursday night, Seattle could beat the Rams. And like, maybe it's Seattle. It's just, I just think it's one of those years for the conference. Um, there's a weird Denver thing though. And I've watched a lot of Denver this year. We have a bunch of overs with them that have all hit. I have a one seed bet with them. I have them for the division, which I think is going to win. So I've watched a lot of them. I think Peyton's done some really weird shit with the clock management in the fourth quarters of these games. And it wasn't just today. Like they blew two fourth downs today. Um, they hit one of them on the fourth and three, but it's like this unnecessarily aggressive. And I, I get it. Maybe he's trying to establish some sort

• 25:58Bill Simmons?

  of mindset, but we've seen it over and over with them where they, they're just kind of unnecessarily aggressive sometimes. And I don't know, like, I don't think they can run the ball the way he, he seems to think they can.

• 26:09Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 26:09Bill Simmons?

  You know, it's like fourth and one, fourth and two. I don't think they're as lights out as he seems to think.

• 26:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:15Bill Simmons?

  And at some point it's going to kill them and I don't know when.

• 26:17Speaker 01

  I am just so numb to teams going on it. We're going for it on fourth and two.

• 26:21Bill Simmons?

  I know Campbell went on his own 20 today. What was that? Like his own 25?

• 26:25Speaker 01

  I, you can't get outraged anymore. It doesn't look weird to me, you know? It's like my kid asking for $20 to be sent to his watch. I'm like, all right, that's fine. I don't, I don't understand it at all. But well, so which one you, you did text, you did have problems. That was towards the end of the game when they were up eight. It was like fourth and three from the 45. That's a tough spot. I don't know what they, I don't know what you do there.

• 26:46Bill Simmons?

  I just felt like Green Bay wasn't going to score again. And I don't know why I want to give them life and put them near midfield when my defense is playing like that and I'm home and love has that kind of demeanor that he had. I didn't love it. There was a lot of clock management. I thought the Pats screwed up today. The end of the first half, which this is the second time in the last couple of weeks for able to did this where in the last two minutes, like going too slow. Because you don't want the other team to get the ball back, but really you should be kind of stepping on the throat and trying to actually score a touchdown. And they killed all this time. They ended up settling for a field goal.

• 27:23Speaker 01

  Almost didn't even get the field goal off.

• 27:24Bill Simmons?

  Right. Almost didn't get the field goal, but it's like, what are you afraid of? Like you have two minutes. You have a really good end of the quarter QB in May, like just go, let's, let's throw the ball. Let's see if we can make some stuff happen. Denver. Was the opposite, but yeah, the Peyton thing I think is a little weird. I Denver's gonna be the one seed. So I guess the question Sal is

• 27:47Bill Simmons?

  if they miss the first round.

• 27:49Speaker 01

  Right.

• 27:49Bill Simmons?

  And they're just playing a home game, round two, home game, round three, and you have Knicks at home who seems pretty comfortable at home.

• 27:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:56Bill Simmons?

  And he never has to leave Denver and plus you have the altitude, cold weather.

• 28:02Bill Simmons?

  Maybe they're gonna do it. I don't, this is the first time today where I was like, ah, maybe. I don't know.

• 28:07Speaker 01

  Same thing. I don't know if there was so much talk about, oh, Terrell Davis and Favre. This was a Super Bowl and 97 years ago and like, no, they really looked like a Super Bowl team. And yeah, you're right. The home games will, will help. It does seem like they have a lot of like open. They were terrible against the Giants at home. They won another weird home game and they're obviously the Raiders was 10-7, but today looked like an explosive, good one seed team beating the crap out of a, another solid playoff team. But um, yeah, I don't, I think you're knocked out of that. What are they for the one seed? What's their odds now?

• 28:41Bill Simmons?

  Well, for, for the conference, I'm sorry, for Super Bowl, they're plus 950 on Fanduel, Buffalo's plus 800. For the conference, they're favored over Buffalo for the conference, plus 320 to plus 390. And then Denver to be the one seed now is minus 260.

• 28:58Speaker 01

  27, 260. Yeah.

• 29:00Bill Simmons?

  You could put a little Jags plus 550. Trevor Lawrence has finally figured it out, money. I'm happy to book that if you want to do that.

• 29:07Speaker 01

  Well, they're playing Jacksonville this week. So that's, that's going to be that, I think. Yeah. And then at KC.

• 29:12Bill Simmons?

  Pats are plus 650.

• 29:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:15Bill Simmons?

  Buffalo, not totally out of it at 22 to 1. In case you think they could run the slate.

• 29:21Speaker 01

  Right.

• 29:21Bill Simmons?

  And, and do it. I want to talk about Buffalo because I actually.

• 29:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, let's do that.

• 29:25Bill Simmons?

  That's the team.

• 29:27Speaker 01

  That'd be fun.

• 29:27Bill Simmons?

  If that, that's my bet your life team in the AFC. Like, we made the case for Denver. Today was a great day for them. They've, they've done everything they needed to do, everything they needed to show, except for like, can they protect the lead at the end of the game with the running game? They haven't had a lot of injuries.

• 29:46Bill Simmons?

  It looks like you're gonna have to go through Denver to take them out. And yet I would still take Buffalo. So we're gonna take a break for the pod. We'll keep going on YouTube. This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. The NBA Cup is back. It's sure to be thrilling as always. I think the one thing I was like with the NBA Cup. What team is gonna come out of nowhere and kind of plant their flag? And make us believe in them going forward because a big spotlight. National TV, good crowds. Who's gonna kind of step up in the playoff atmosphere? The best moments are served cold, just like Michelob Ultra. Or a refreshing beer with only 95 calories. Plus Ultra is also helping you see all the excitement up close and in person with a chance to win courtside tickets.

• 30:27Bill Simmons?

  Michelob Ultra, superior is worth playing for. Enter now at michelobultra.com/courtside. Michelob Ultra Courtside, 25 to 26, no purchase necessary. Open to U.S. residents, 21+, begins on October 1st, 2025, ends on June 30th, 2026. Multiple entry periods. See official rules at michelobultra.com/courtside for free entry, entry deadlines, prizes, and details. Buffalo puts together five straight touchdown drives and beats my team. My team is up 21-0.

• 30:56Bill Simmons?

  They needed the game more than we did.

• 30:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:59Bill Simmons?

  We're missing our left tackle and our, and our best defensive lineman, Milton Williams. And yet the loss still really hurt and it was a unique chance to put the division away. Beat them twice in a year and now look at now I look back and it's like really close game. We won in Buffalo, really close game. They won in New England and we're probably going to see them again would be my guess.

• 31:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I wouldn't be too disappointed. Like if you if we had this scenario and you know, looked ahead in August, you wouldn't be too bummed. It was a great game. You can hang with Buffalo, right? That's the main thing here. You hung with them twice, even though if you take the division. And even though maybe he's ahead of him MVP odds board, he's not Josh Allen. That's just what you see, right? Like he took that game over.

• 31:49Bill Simmons?

  He might be in a couple of years.

• 31:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, sure. Maybe.

• 31:51Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it's not happening now.

• 31:53Speaker 01

  Dozens of times before we've seen him do this. He also he has the second most wins by a quarterback in their first eight seasons in NFL history. Tie with your guy Brady and Russ Wilson and probably the best cold weather quarterback I've ever seen this side of Favre, right?

• 32:11Bill Simmons?

  It's outrageous that I love Drake May. I'm delighted to have him in my life. There's no way Josh Allen should have worse MVP odds than Drake May. Like we kind of had the referendum game today and the the stuff he's done these last four weeks. Where he just went to a whole other level. He's so terrifying. And it was funny because I thought the Pats the first half, it was the best game plan they've had all year. Like they actually like they had some stuff where all the Pats fans were like, why don't we ever do these design QB draws with Drake? Why don't we use his legs intentionally instead of him just scrambling? And they did all the stuff I wanted them to do.

• 32:51Bill Simmons?

  And then in the second half, just I don't know what happened. I don't know where Diggs was. I don't know where Diggs has been just in general. Diggs was the reason they won the Buffalo game in Buffalo.

• 33:01Speaker 01

  The first one. Yeah, right.

• 33:04Bill Simmons?

  Didn't get a call, which is fine, but there were eight calls in this game and I don't, I think we went 0 for 8 in the eight most important calls. And Drake wasn't, Drake wasn't good enough. Like that, the game was in his hands in the last seven minutes, seven minutes at Henderson scores, they come back down and then Drake has to kinda, you're home, this is it. But you know, it's year two. Year four, I think he wins the game.

• 33:26Speaker 01

  I think he had 35 second half yards before that Henderson reverse field run. But nice, nice job by Drake getting, getting in the way or whatever he did, run down there.

• 33:36Bill Simmons?

  That was awesome. And that was the kind of play where you think like, oh shit, if we win that game, this is going to be a legendary play. Henderson breaks his second big run. Mace hustling down to kinda help create the block for it. But the defense just, just couldn't get stops. The special teams was bad today. It was a uncharacteristically sloppy game, but at the same time, that team's just a bad matchup. You even saw like they sat Spillane in the game and they said Spillane was injured, but I, I actually just think he was too slow to be in the game. That's my, my conspiracy theory. But you know, tight ends and running backs coming out of the backfield and QB scrambles. Like that's how this Pat's defense

• 34:17Bill Simmons?

  is gonna lose, I think. They might be a year away from having the kind of ceiling. The, the way for them to make the Super Bowl was the way Denver is doing it now. Where it's like, you have to come here and come through us and we're gonna have round one off. Now they're gonna have to have round one, you know, Houston coming into New England, which is terrifying. A guy, I know you saw Stroud today. Stroud was great today.

• 34:40Speaker 01

  Very good. Yep, yep.

• 34:41Bill Simmons?

  Houston's, Houston looks excellent.

• 34:43Speaker 01

  Houston, that game, we have to have a nickname for that. When you're, when the game is over before you even find the, you have your floor box situated.

• 34:51Bill Simmons?

  Oh yeah, 17-0 and you, yeah, you didn't even know the game started.

• 34:55Speaker 01

  I have to add another game. I don't think you play, I would think if you get the two seed, let's say you don't get the one seed. If you win the division and get the two seed, yes, you're home for Houston, right? I would think.

• 35:07Bill Simmons?

  Unless they can leapfrog.

• 35:09Speaker 01

  They play the Chargers in 17. Yeah. Or would you rather have this? Buffalo wins the division, you're a five and you go to Baltimore or Pittsburgh.

• 35:21Speaker 01

  Wouldn't you rather have that?

• 35:23Bill Simmons?

  And then I played Denver in round two?

• 35:26Speaker 01

  Whatever. You're better than just get out of that one, right? You don't want to play Houston, do you?

• 35:30Bill Simmons?

  I want to, I want to win the division. I don't want a scenario where they have to go to Buffalo. I don't want, I don't, winning in Buffalo twice in the same year seems inconceivable to me.

• 35:39Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 35:40Bill Simmons?

  The best case scenario for them is the Chargers end up the seventh seed instead of Houston.

• 35:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, I guess.

• 35:45Bill Simmons?

  And they could get the Chargers who I think with the offensive line issues they've had is probably a pretty good matchup.

• 35:50Speaker 01

  They do play in two weeks. Yeah. Houston. I offered you this, make, remember I made you this offer if you didn't take it. That's all right.

• 35:56Bill Simmons?

  Do you feel, yeah, I will, I'll mark it down, but I, I did turn it down. Um. It does feel like something shifted here with Allen now. You know, where we, where, and this was talking about this in August and I did my QB pyramid. I had Allen at the top and I was just like, I just think he's the best guy. Now he's never played in a Super Bowl. It's hard to be like, this guy's the best guy, but he's never played in a Super Bowl. But he's clearly the best player in the league. Like, is there anyone you would put ahead of him at this point? It's just watching football week to week. He's the best guy. I don't even think it's an argument.

• 36:32Speaker 01

  I don't think so. He's getting a lot of help from Cook though, we should say. Cook is the best.

• 36:36Bill Simmons?

  Oh, yeah.

• 36:36Speaker 01

  Gliding through the snow and first downs and six when he can really should have gotten two and stuff like that. So that definitely helps. That would help Mahomes and the Chiefs. I'm not feeling bad for them at all. But yeah, he's the best. What, what are you going to say? And he's throwing up on the sideline. I don't know if that's a fetish thing with him and.

• 36:54Bill Simmons?

  I know.

• 36:55Speaker 01

  Halley Steinfeld, but it, it works out. Really, uh, it's all, he's great. He, it might just be when it gets cold. Cause they did win like six in a row two years ago to make the playoffs. We keep talking about that.

• 37:06Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 37:06Speaker 01

  And, uh, it right, really, and some people only want to use the weather as any kind of factor, but it's pretty.

• 37:11Bill Simmons?

  They were able to pressure the Pats a little bit and I don't know if that was the case of.

• 37:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:16Bill Simmons?

  The offensive line is just bad, or maybe their defense is a little bit better. What'd you see when you watched the game? Would you, would you see from the Pats? Did they seem like a actual Super Bowl contender to you?

• 37:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:25Bill Simmons?

  I can't look at it objectively, obviously.

• 37:27Speaker 01

  No, except for that second half, right? I mean, it's the opposite of what the Packers did. Well, I guess it's the same thing as what the Packers did.

• 37:33Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 37:33Speaker 01

  Wow, they were on fire in the first half.

• 37:35Bill Simmons?

  For different reasons.

• 37:35Speaker 01

  Everything clicking, right? But you couldn't, you couldn't move in the second half and like Allen didn't let you have the ball. So, but honestly, overall, I'll go back to my original point. You should be, you hung with them. You'll hang with them again. I'd be surprised if you ever lost to them by two touchdowns, you know, going forward.

• 37:51Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that's, that's where I've landed with, I think my dad's in the same spot, like. Played them twice. Either team could have won both games.

• 38:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:02Bill Simmons?

  Got Campbell coming back for the playoffs, which I think is really going to help. Milton Williams coming back. Hopefully, nobody else gets hurt. And we'll see how it goes. Carlton Davis didn't make it a quarter in today's game. They might be a cornerback short, but everybody's short something at this point. I, I still think like.

• 38:21Bill Simmons?

  I just think like Buffalo. And the Rams would be the safest pick right now, I think.

• 38:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:29Bill Simmons?

  But I also think, so we talked about this earlier. It's like 2008. That year, the Brady ACL year, when we ended up with Pittsburgh and Arizona and it was just one of those stupid years. Like I, I'm prepared for any scenario this year.

• 38:43Speaker 01

  I'm trying to think of who Buffalo doesn't match up against. I guess it's Houston again. Like it all comes back to Houston just because they're trucking teams. And like kind of did it differently.

• 38:51Bill Simmons?

  Are they the only team in either conference that if they're down 21-0 on the road, you're not even blinking?

• 38:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:57Bill Simmons?

  Cause that was me today. I was like, all right. I don't, I don't, I don't feel like we have this game in hand. They're going to make a run. It was 24-7 at halftime. It's like they have the ball second half. I know it's going to happen. They're going to go down. They're probably going to score. It's be 24-14. Can we put a drive together? We couldn't. Now it's 24-21 and. You know, that's the only team in the league. Maybe the Rams would be the only other one if they're indoors.

• 39:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:22Bill Simmons?

  That I can see like 21-0 doesn't matter if you're playing this team.

• 39:25Speaker 01

  It is bad when you're, when you can't spot a team, three touchdowns. It's gotta be four for them to, to be completely out of it. Don't hang your head up, kid. You did good. You did really good today.

• 39:35Bill Simmons?

  It's been a great Pats season. And also by all accounts that I knew, I knew a couple of people that were there. The crowd was great.

• 39:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:43Bill Simmons?

  It was everything you want and you know, there was some self inflicted stuff, but it'll be a good experience for them. Uh, Rams Lions. So the Rams are now the new, they look like the best NFC team. Puka got banged up.

• 39:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:58Bill Simmons?

  I think, I was thinking about who to name this award after, cause he's definitely the number one. Oh God, he's out, he's hurt, this is bad. And then he's playing two plays later.

• 40:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:08Bill Simmons?

  And then five minutes later, it's like, oh no, what happened? And then it's like, he's fine. But I was thinking, who, who, who would get that award? Who would you name it after? And I thought, I realized it was Terry Glenn.

• 40:20Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 40:21Bill Simmons?

  Remember Terry Glenn? We both had Terry Glenn.

• 40:23Speaker 01

  Right.

• 40:24Bill Simmons?

  It's like, oh no, what happened? Did he tear his ACO? Did he sprain his ankle? Did he separate his shoulder? Oh, he's back.

• 40:30Speaker 01

  He's back in there.

• 40:31Bill Simmons?

  This is great. But one of those like rope a dope guys where you just never sure if they're healthy. But Puka's like, hey, even at the end of the game, he like limped off from the sidelines. Like, is he fine? Is he not fine? I don't know. I don't think he knows.

• 40:42Speaker 01

  I keep it a little closer to home. This guy never made an NFL team, but our friend Brad, he'll like fall down a stair, the stairs and stuff. And like, oh man, that would do it. Should you call the ambulance? Like, no, no, no, Randy, let me just shake it off. And that's it.

• 40:54Bill Simmons?

  I'm fine. Let me just put my kneecap back on.

• 40:56Speaker 01

  Right. He's down in the sun kissed, uh, two minutes later and he's fine.

• 41:00Bill Simmons?

  Well, but Devonte Adams did get hurt. So that was the big thing from this game. Uh, he definitely got hurt. They have a game Thursday. They're playing Seattle. They have the same record and, um, bad timing for the Adams injury.

• 41:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:15Bill Simmons?

  I would say.

• 41:16Speaker 01

  For sure. But they, again, another team that showed me a lot. I mean, winning that game 41 34, but the Lions are just, they're the other end of that. They just don't, um, boy, everything has to go right for them, right? Like, like it did the Thursday night game against the Cowboys. Like you need,

• 41:31Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 41:32Speaker 01

  You know, I was looking at Gibbs touchdowns, last seven games, zero, three, zero, three, zero, three, zero.

• 41:40Speaker 01

  What the hell is that? And so unless it's him and Amon Ra St. Brown, the Goff is kind of lost back there and the and they had what should have been a pick six there with Hutchinson. He looked back, he was running it back. I think they scored anyway on that, but they had a nice little margin there and they couldn't put them away.

• 41:59Bill Simmons?

  I was going against Stafford in our fantasy playoffs and the league we care about, the knockout league.

• 42:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:05Bill Simmons?

  And it just felt like anytime he wanted to throw for 12 yards, it was there for somebody like when they really, oh, do we need 12 yards? Fine. I'll just, I'll hit somebody else over the middle again. I'll hit this tight end. I'll hit Puka. Now there's Adams and Detroit just couldn't stop them. They had no chance.

• 42:23Speaker 01

  That's it.

• 42:23Bill Simmons?

  They're the eight seed and it's probably staying that way would be my guess.

• 42:26Speaker 01

  I'm thinking, I'm looking, what's their number to make the playoffs? I know they're a plus. They are a.

• 42:32Bill Simmons?

  Well, the bigger question is.

• 42:33Speaker 01

  Plus 148.

• 42:35Bill Simmons?

  Who would be the team that would have to fall out for them to make it? Cause we have, you have that doc with all the games left.

• 42:40Speaker 01

  Right.

• 42:41Bill Simmons?

  Is it San Francisco or would be Green Bay?

• 42:45Speaker 01

  Green Bay is minus 1150 to make the playoffs.

• 42:48Bill Simmons?

  Which seems aggressive considering they've lost three of their best guys.

• 42:51Speaker 01

  It is. San Francisco, as far as Vandal's concerned, is not even on the board. So these are teams with 10 wins. Green Bay essentially is 10 wins. They're nine, four and one. Chicago's minus 370. So they would be in competition, I guess, with Detroit.

• 43:04Bill Simmons?

  And what's Detroit to make the playoffs right now?

• 43:06Speaker 01

  Plus 148.

• 43:08Bill Simmons?

  Well, that doesn't make so, who is the team that's gonna fall out then?

• 43:12Speaker 01

  Cause they could get the division, I guess technically, but not really.

• 43:16Bill Simmons?

  So they're basically saying it's Chicago versus Detroit.

• 43:19Speaker 01

  Right.

• 43:19Bill Simmons?

  For that one spot and they have Green Bay in.

• 43:24Bill Simmons?

  And yet Green Bay has at Chicago, home Baltimore, at Minnesota. I genuinely think they could lose all three of those. I mean, they could also win all three of them, but at Chicago is going to be a hard game. Now it puts a nine, five and one with home for Baltimore who has to win.

• 43:42Speaker 01

  See, I'm thinking of it as if they get to 10, four and one, then someone has to go 11 and uh, six to beat it, right? Like 10, 10, four, one, that'd be 10, six and one. I think they kind of.

• 43:53Bill Simmons?

  Who would you pick at Chicago next week? Would you like, would you take Chicago or Green Bay next week in Chicago? I would take Chicago right now.

• 44:02Speaker 01

  I think they'd beat Baltimore. I think they win the home game against Baltimore and then that's 10, five and one. Then I think they have it, but.

• 44:11Bill Simmons?

  It's tight.

• 44:12Speaker 01

  It's pretty tight.

• 44:12Bill Simmons?

  Weird shit happens in the last three weeks.

• 44:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:16Bill Simmons?

  As we always know. Chargers now minus 4,000. I guess I'm not going to win my, they're not going to make the playoffs bet.

• 44:23Speaker 01

  Such a big game.

• 44:26Bill Simmons?

  So Rams Lions, the other thing I was thinking.

• 44:31Bill Simmons?

  You really need the one seed in the NFC. So you don't have to play in that first week with those three wild cards. I don't want to see any of those wild cards. Whoever it ends up being, I guess I wouldn't mind seeing Detroit because they can't stop anybody. But if it was Green Bay, it was Chicago. Or, uh, the, you know, the Seattle Rams, who the one who doesn't make it.

• 44:53Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 44:54Bill Simmons?

  All of those options suck.

• 44:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:56Bill Simmons?

  You, you've, you get the two seed, you have to host Green Bay.

• 45:01Speaker 01

  Right.

• 45:02Bill Simmons?

  Or you have to host San Francisco. Like if Purdy's just like throwing bombs. I don't know. I don't like any of those scenarios.

• 45:07Speaker 01

  Yeah. You know what? Definitely don't want to play a division team and you got Seattle and San Francisco are going to be two of the wild cards. Right? If you're a division winner. Yeah. Yeah. Well, so there to get the one seed, they're minus 160, they're 11 and three. It's not going to be from the South.

• 45:22Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 45:23Speaker 01

  It's not going to really be the NFC East. Who, wait, who's the other? Who else could it be? Looking.

• 45:31Bill Simmons?

  No, it's Lions. Your team's out now.

• 45:33Speaker 01

  Oh, it's all there.

• 45:33Bill Simmons?

  We're, we're eight teams. We have eight teams now.

• 45:36Speaker 01

  Yeah. I was just looking for the one seed. So Seahawks are plus 210, San Francisco plus 750, Rams minus 160.

• 45:43Bill Simmons?

  So interesting.

• 45:46Bill Simmons?

  If you want to bet the Seahawks. You're almost better off betting their one seed at plus 210 than you are betting them on Thursday to win that game, right?

• 45:54Speaker 01

  Smart. Yeah. Right.

• 45:56Bill Simmons?

  Cause who do they have for their last two?

• 45:58Speaker 01

  At Carolina, at San Francisco.

• 46:02Bill Simmons?

  So San Francisco is still kind of in this. This is interesting. Something weird will happen.

• 46:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:06Bill Simmons?

  Every time we think something, we know it's going to happen. Uh, speaking of the NFC West. We'll talk about Rivers. I thought that was stunning. He was confident.

• 46:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:16Bill Simmons?

  It was amazing. I mean, he wasn't good, but he was confident and they did, first of all, it was a fascinating game. And we had the Seahawks. I, what, I mean, how many bets did you have with the Seahawks in it?

• 46:28Speaker 01

  All of them. Every bet you can make. Yeah.

• 46:33Bill Simmons?

  Every single one.

• 46:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:35Bill Simmons?

  Did you have OKC in bets?

• 46:37Speaker 01

  I did. Yep.

• 46:38Bill Simmons?

  Okay.

• 46:39Speaker 01

  That was good.

• 46:39Bill Simmons?

  That lost.

• 46:40Speaker 01

  Well, what you could give me a heads up there.

• 46:42Bill Simmons?

  I didn't know Wemby was playing. I was mad at some NBA people I knew. It's like, what the fuck? I was at a Christmas party. I didn't even know Wemby was playing.

• 46:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, that sucked.

• 46:51Bill Simmons?

  So Rivers, first of all, they win the coin toss and they elect to receive.

• 46:59Bill Simmons?

  And I was like, oh, and then once you started watching the game, you realize why they did it. They just wanted like, it was what we thought. This is why I love the under 40 seconds of play, 35 seconds of play.

• 47:11Speaker 01

  Right.

• 47:11Bill Simmons?

  Field position. Don't take any chances. Short passes, run the ball. Try to keep the ball as long as possible. And then every time they planted it felt like the Seahawks were like on their own seven yard line.

• 47:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:22Bill Simmons?

  And it was just one of those games for two hours and it turned into a field goal game. Rivers cannot move side to side.

• 47:31Bill Simmons?

  He can't, could he throw a pass longer than like 14 yards? No.

• 47:35Speaker 01

  Nah, it didn't look like it. No.

• 47:37Bill Simmons?

  And yet it seemed like they were gonna win for two hours.

• 47:39Speaker 01

  Right.

• 47:40Bill Simmons?

  Like, what were you thinking as you were watching this?

• 47:42Speaker 01

  Well, I got, first of all, what a crazy week with, oh, the old man this, like we heard the same, uh, two jokes a thousand times. Old man Rivers, we have to say it with a straight face, even though we have 10 years on him, right? Like, oh, he's dying to get away from his wife and kids. That joke was welded into the pavement. But he needs to show the ref his AARP card. Meanwhile, I thought he did a good job under the circumstances. I forgot his release, which even when he was good, looked like he was never gonna get to the receiver. And then at 44, 45, like, wow, this is interesting. But you're right. He did what every 24 year old backup should do. Just control the clock, check down, don't throw long because you're not doing it in practice.

• 48:25Speaker 01

  He said during his week of practice, he said, the balls I've thrown have barely hit the turf. And I think he meant like hardly, but he said barely, like barely means they're all hitting the turf. But he did, you know, I, he did a good job under the circumstances, but if Seattle makes a couple of those touchdowns out of the six field goals, this isn't even a discussion, right?

• 48:44Bill Simmons?

  I know.

• 48:46Bill Simmons?

  So he had the charisma and the leadership pieces.

• 48:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:49Bill Simmons?

  And the whole team seemed like they were completely bought in on him doing well. And like that they believed in him and you could see it on the sidelines, the way people were reacting to him. And he had basically everything other than like just athletically, he's not close. But I actually thought he was doing a better version of what Rogers was doing with a couple of exceptions this year. Like Rogers was good two weeks ago. But for the most part, like he didn't, he didn't hurt them. He didn't have a turnover until the last play of the game when they had to throw the ball downfield.

• 49:19Speaker 01

  Right.

• 49:19Bill Simmons?

  But um.

• 49:22Speaker 01

  And he had to throw to Pierce, which was good. I'm trying to think of his long, longish throws like that, that first down catch with by Pierce.

• 49:28Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 49:29Speaker 01

  Late was, was good.

• 49:30Bill Simmons?

  Everything was crisp though, like his like click wide receiver screens, the like all his stuff, it was.

• 49:35Speaker 01

  Catching his guys in stride on a, on a.

• 49:37Bill Simmons?

  I just couldn't believe it. I thought it would be inconceivable that he would be able to match the speed of the game when he hadn't played in five years. And then there was the experience of being a fan of football and watching football day in and day out. And just not seeing this guy for five years. And then he came back, it was like getting like, it was like deja vu, like, oh, that guy looks like Phil Rivers, but it is Phil Rivers.

• 49:58Speaker 01

  Right, right, right.

• 49:59Bill Simmons?

  Just forgetting like his weird releases and those fucking, you know, those little balloon balls he throws. Like there's just no zip at all, but it always hits the guy. I don't know, I had a good time, even though I thought I was going to lose my bet for the entire time.

• 50:13Speaker 01

  It was rough.

• 50:13Bill Simmons?

  It was fun to watch.

• 50:14Speaker 01

  I thought like, well, I don't know. I mean, then we could talk about Sam Darnold and how he wasn't getting it done. And the Colts defense was pretty physical for most of the game for a team that was missing a lot of their defenders. Right. Uh, they kept JSN in check for like at least the first half, probably the third quarter. They may have been looking ahead to that game. You talked about the Rams, but Mike McDonald actually impressed me because the offense wasn't working. And he at least was smart enough to figure out how to keep 47 seconds on the clock to set up your guy, your fantasy legend.

• 50:45Bill Simmons?

  You're right.

• 50:45Speaker 01

  Uh, to kick that field goal.

• 50:47Bill Simmons?

  Six field goal, Jace Myers, no relation to Michael. Single handedly got me into the next round of the playoffs. I texted a couple of my Seattle friends what I had in my notes. And here's what I wrote. Seattle is 11 and three. They've won four straight. Their three losses were by nine points. They were number one in DVOA heading into the weekend. And their fans feel terrible. And Danny Kelly, one of the people I texted that to texted me back, I'm miserable exclamation point. Like, it was weird because they won, they got the job, they pulled it out, they're playing on Thursday night, they have a chance to do the division, but offensively, they're just not good enough. They have one good player. Their running game's awful.

• 51:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:30Bill Simmons?

  Like, I, I, Charbonne and Walker, they're not quite as bad as the Chiefs running backs, but they're, they're not good. They don't, Cup looks like he's a tight end now, the way he moves. They just, you know, Shaheen, at least they weaved him in a couple of times. He made a couple of plays, but for the most part, it's JSN.

• 51:47Speaker 01

  That's it.

• 51:48Bill Simmons?

  And that's, that's about it. And, and a bunch of tight ends you've never heard of.

• 51:51Speaker 01

  We thought Walker would be much better, right? At least that platoon would score, at least by the red zone.

• 51:57Bill Simmons?

  No pop.

• 51:57Speaker 01

  Right. But he wasn't, he wasn't great either. I don't know. I'll chalk it up to them looking ahead and them laughing at the same two jokes like everybody else did with the, about Phil Rivers. But, but yeah, that was not a good effort.

• 52:09Bill Simmons?

  Do you think there was anything to Buckner being back? Because I thought the Colts front seven was really good.

• 52:15Speaker 01

  Yeah. Very solid.

• 52:17Bill Simmons?

  They missed him both cornerbacks, but, um, this Jason Myers and field goals in general with fantasy, it's gotten to the point, what did people, what did Hinch pay for Aubrey in our league? Three bucks?

• 52:31Speaker 01

  The kickers are crazy. Yeah, three bucks.

• 52:33Bill Simmons?

  Three. You could argue like the top three, four kickers are worth like 15 bucks.

• 52:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:40Bill Simmons?

  I went against Fairburn, I beat, I beat Damashek in our league. He had Fairburn.

• 52:45Speaker 01

  Right.

• 52:45Bill Simmons?

  Fairburn, Fairburn.

• 52:47Speaker 01

  And another crazy defense.

• 52:49Bill Simmons?

  He's the kicker.

• 52:49Speaker 01

  I think you lost the defense kicker battle 37-32 or something, wasn't it?

• 52:54Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, he got 18 points from his kicker. And then I got 24. But this seems like it happens every week. Last week, I, I got another like 20 for Myers, but we never had, this never happened in fantasy before. I wonder if we have to like change the rules.

• 53:09Speaker 01

  And it doesn't make sense because teams are going for it on fourth and one more than ever, much more than ever. But there was still getting these 55 yard blasts in cold weather.

• 53:18Bill Simmons?

  I had, in that Houston game, Woody Marks scored. It was, he was, it was shotgun. I couldn't tell if it was intentionally in a hammer as a fuck up. But it was a shotgun slap snap that went by Stroud's, bounced right to Marks and Marks ran in for a touchdown.

• 53:34Speaker 01

  You think that's a touchdown? You think that should count as a touchdown?

• 53:37Bill Simmons?

  I think when a guy runs it in as a touchdown, it's a touchdown.

• 53:40Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 53:40Bill Simmons?

  So we've used CBS forever. I mean, we've used, you've had CBS since the 90s, right?

• 53:45Speaker 01

  People made fun of us for that when you posted that. They're like, that's what you get for using CBS. Like, we liked seeing the history and everything of 25 years.

• 53:52Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it has every champion and every season we've ever had. At some point, we're stuck with CBS, whether we like it or not. So like five minutes passes, there's no Marks update for my touchdown, my six points.

• 54:06Bill Simmons?

  And then I'm looking at the, the play by play or whatever, and it says Stroud fumble. Marks recovery, which by the way, we also count.

• 54:15Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 54:16Bill Simmons?

  But if you watch the play, I don't, I don't understand it a million years. So that was a fumble recovery. It was a run play.

• 54:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:22Bill Simmons?

  So shotgun snap that went to him and he ran it in. Like, how can they fuck this up? It's the playoffs.

• 54:27Speaker 01

  Have they not given you credit still?

• 54:29Bill Simmons?

  They, I don't, let me look, let me look at the double deuce.

• 54:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, they haven't.

• 54:36Bill Simmons?

  Assholes. Give me my six points. I only won by, I won by 3.9 points. Like this could have been, I was like one more Stafford touchdown away where I would have lost by 0.01 and, and because the CBS jerks wouldn't give me my six points for Woody Marks.

• 54:54Speaker 01

  You guys are like.

• 54:54Bill Simmons?

  And then he immediately got hurt right after. All of a sudden, red flag.

• 54:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, right, right. Yeah. Well, he, he always leaves games. Like, he's, he's set the record for leaving games.

• 55:02Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I forgot, I forgot he only plays for an hour.

• 55:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:04Bill Simmons?

  And then his backup came in and ran for a hundred yards.

• 55:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:08Bill Simmons?

  Cause I made this big play this week. I had Stroud as my QB with Marks and Nico Collins. And I'm like, Houston's gonna roll it up on Arizona. And I was right. And unfortunately, Woody Marks didn't want to join the party.

• 55:18Speaker 01

  How is just this team of the, I'm looking at this Val, Val Lizard receiver, Booty, Mark.

• 55:24Bill Simmons?

  He was another one. I picked up.

• 55:25Speaker 01

  How did you get this?

• 55:26Bill Simmons?

  I picked up Vale. Isn't it Vale?

• 55:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's Vale. I don't know.

• 55:30Bill Simmons?

  On the Saints, who was great. And then he left.

• 55:33Speaker 01

  Right. He got injured too. Yeah, they should give you, look, it's, it has to count as a touchdown for someone, right? So if it's not a defense or special teams touchdown, which it's obviously not, then it has to go to, I don't care if it's a lineman or a fan or whoever jumps on the ball and runs it in, they get credit.

• 55:51Bill Simmons?

  Here's the thing, they're updating everybody's scores constantly.

• 55:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:56Bill Simmons?

  So they obviously have a million people working behind the scenes.

• 55:59Speaker 01

  Right, right.

• 55:59Bill Simmons?

  This Witty Marks thing is like one of the most important things that happened all weekend. They couldn't have figured out a ruling? Jerks.

• 56:05Speaker 01

  I'm with you.

• 56:06Bill Simmons?

  Why do they torture us? Panthers, Saints, by the way, that was incredible. Like way more entertaining than it should have been.

• 56:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:16Bill Simmons?

  And I think Tyler Shuck might just be good. I don't even know if he's serviceable. I think he actually might be good.

• 56:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:23Bill Simmons?

  If I'm a Saints fan, I don't want a quarterback next year. I'm good. Let's roll with this dude. Get him more blocking.

• 56:27Speaker 01

  If you look at the top six, I think only the Raiders are gonna take a quarterback. I mean, there's gonna be shuffling around and people are gonna, the teams are gonna trade, but I'm with you with Chuck. I was watching with my kids at halftime of the late afternoon games. I'm like, let's take an underdog. Let's pick an underdog. Who do you want? And we all took, we all took the Saints and that was exciting as hell. I don't know. I don't, I don't know. Watched the Panthers just beat, we haven't even talked about Tampa, how they've blown this, but.

• 56:54Bill Simmons?

  Pretty damn good. They're still in the lead somehow, even though they choked on Thursday night.

• 56:58Speaker 01

  They're the favorite.

• 56:59Bill Simmons?

  The Panthers kinda got dominated, I felt like in the last hour of the game.

• 57:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:04Bill Simmons?

  Saints were moving it. Panthers couldn't run the ball at all. Saints, so I lost, I had a all line, Saints minus three and a half future. That was like two to one. But you know what? Hats off to them.

• 57:18Speaker 01

  Under three and a half?

• 57:19Bill Simmons?

  Under three and a half. It was like, it was plus 200.

• 57:22Speaker 01

  Gotcha.

• 57:24Bill Simmons?

  Say goodbye to that one, but I gotta give the Saints credit. I thought they played a good game, could come back. Olave was great down the stretch and now we have two depressingly ugly Panthers Bucks games in the next three weeks to decide who will be the host of the Shaky's game. Cause I don't see any other way.

• 57:43Speaker 01

  Oh, you're right. Yeah, they have to. Yeah.

• 57:45Bill Simmons?

  Even though. And back dive a line. Can Fando put this as a line? Tampa, Seattle minus 135 over Jacksonville and the Chargers.

• 57:54Speaker 01

  Oh, I gotta think.

• 57:55Bill Simmons?

  Jacksonville Chargers feels very Shaky's ish.

• 57:59Speaker 01

  What is that? You're thinking that's a 3-6?

• 58:01Bill Simmons?

  Four or five, like a, yeah, 3-6.

• 58:03Speaker 01

  No, that's not a four or five. Yeah.

• 58:04Bill Simmons?

  3-6.

• 58:05Speaker 01

  Yeah. So, yeah, it's funny how Baltimore, Pittsburgh, won't be a Shaky's game, even though they're junk, right?

• 58:11Bill Simmons?

  Although if Pittsburgh, if Pittsburgh's the four seed, it could be the Shaky's game. But the problem is they won't put Buffalo or New England in the Shaky's game.

• 58:17Speaker 01

  They'll get Aaron Rodgers in a, in a prime spot if he's around there. Yeah, no.

• 58:22Bill Simmons?

  They're not putting a good quarterback in a, in a Shaky's game.

• 58:24Speaker 01

  I was so mad at that Tampa game Thursday, but also glad it was a Thursday because I would have had it in thousands for T's if it was Sunday. But how they, I mean, that was the worst loss of the year, I think, right? You'll be 28, you're up two touchdowns, the team scores two touchdowns and misses both conversions, 19 penalties. What else do you need? Kyle Pitts wakes up, has more touchdowns, has like 8% of his career fantasy points in one game? Come on, come on, Tampa.

• 58:52Bill Simmons?

  Raheem Morris is like, this team had 19 penalties. Like, never say die, guys.

• 58:58Speaker 01

  Meanwhile, they're minus 330 to win the division. Carolina plus 260.

• 59:03Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. So the playoff odds, the playoff matchups right now, Denver would be, Denver and Rams one seeds. So we'd have Pats Texans, Jags Chargers, Steelers Bills. So Pats Texans would be the best of those three games. And then in the, in the NFC, Bears Packers, that's a good one.

• 59:27Speaker 01

  Bar three.

• 59:27Bill Simmons?

  Eagles Niners in Philly. And then Tampa, Seattle. And that, that thing with Seattle is that the offense just, I just don't know how they're going to get to like 20, 24, 25 points in a playoff game. And the defense against Phil Rivers, I, I wouldn't say they were, they were awesome to watch. They were fine.

• 59:52Bill Simmons?

  But um.

• 59:53Speaker 01

  Seattle's gonna lay two and a half to Tampa for the Shaky's game. We're gonna love it. We're gonna be all over it and Tampa's gonna win by three touchdowns.

• 1:00:00Bill Simmons?

  Mike Evans give him 160 yards.

• 1:00:02Speaker 01

  We're gonna be vomiting it up Mojo potatoes on the way to the parking lot.

• 1:00:06Bill Simmons?

  Quick on Texans cards, the uh, the Stroud starting to put it together in a real way is, is the December wildcard for me.

• 1:00:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:14Bill Simmons?

  Cause if he can, if he can create plays and put up enough offense to match their defense, then they're just a live, a live underdog in every playoff game. Jaguars, Jets, Trevor Lawrence is here to rope us in, so.

• 1:00:28Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 1:00:30Bill Simmons?

  Five touchdowns today.

• 1:00:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:33Bill Simmons?

  I'll be interested to see if the fans get chirpy this week, cause this podcast, along with every other podcast, every other writer, some serious questions about Trevor Lawrence, which apparently now have been answered because he lit up the Jets.

• 1:00:45Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:00:45Bill Simmons?

  Um, he's playing your dumb team next week, so he'll look good in that game too. So I feel like there's gonna be some real Trevor Lawrence momentum.

• 1:00:52Speaker 01

  He's not playing my team.

• 1:00:54Bill Simmons?

  I thought he plays your team.

• 1:00:55Speaker 01

  No, the Chargers play the Cowboys. Jacksonville, Jacksonville plays.

• 1:00:59Bill Simmons?

  Oh, they're at Denver next week. Okay, so they're, so now we'll know.

• 1:01:02Speaker 01

  No, it'll be a good one.

• 1:01:03Bill Simmons?

  I just want to remind people, before they start throwing the Trevor Lawrence stuff at us, heading in today, he was 30th in EPA for quarterbacks between number 29, Michael Pennix, who's no longer playing football, and number 31, Carson Wentz, who's also no longer playing football.

• 1:01:23Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:01:23Bill Simmons?

  So, congrats on the Jets game. I'm still not buying Trevor Lawrence stock. I, I need to see a little more if that's cool.

• 1:01:29Speaker 01

  I need to sell you a little more too, but I, I have to physically be able to see it more because this was on such a small TV. I call this game a squinter, because I had a squint to, to my eyes to make it out on the very small four box I have in the TV.

• 1:01:43Bill Simmons?

  It's a squint box.

• 1:01:44Speaker 01

  It's a squint box, yeah.

• 1:01:45Bill Simmons?

  What is that?

• 1:01:46Speaker 01

  I was like, I know Brady Cook's gonna, Brady Cook's gonna throw with three interceptions. He wasn't good in Missouri, like he had 11 touchdowns this senior year. So, yeah, but the one thing Jacksonville's doing is, I know it's the Jets, but they're kind of hammering teams early, right? It's not like, uh, 16, 14. Late, you know, they get they get some groove and they got some feeling and they have a little home swagger. So I don't know if it keeps up. This is six.

• 1:02:10Bill Simmons?

  They might have a good coach. I mean, we might have like Vrabel, Ben Johnson and Liam Cohen, like having these dramatic impacts. And then Pete Carroll doing the opposite in Vegas.

• 1:02:19Speaker 01

  I think he's like two, one went away from being fifth all time and Jacksonville Jaguars coaching wins Liam Cohen.

• 1:02:25Bill Simmons?

  Liam Cohen?

• 1:02:26Speaker 01

  Yes, just from this year.

• 1:02:29Bill Simmons?

  Eagles Raiders Eagles got back on track Raiders are now the worst team in the league. Biden, yeah, Biden was on the uh was on the sideline. What for this game?

• 1:02:42Speaker 01

  That was Pete Carroll. Oh, that was Biden? Oh, yeah, I was wondering.

• 1:02:45Bill Simmons?

  What game was Biden at?

• 1:02:46Speaker 01

  No, that was this one. That was this one. Yeah.

• 1:02:49Bill Simmons?

  Do you think he was at there because he saw Pete Carroll and he felt like he needed to be on the sideline with him?

• 1:02:53Speaker 01

  Brother.

• 1:02:55Bill Simmons?

  I'm going backwards for the season.

• 1:02:59Bill Simmons?

  I think looking back. The week everybody spent wondering if Tom Brady had an unfair advantage with all the inside info he was getting. In the games he was doing, was that unfair for the Raiders? Is the funniest storyline in retrospect.

• 1:03:14Speaker 01

  That's good. That is.

• 1:03:16Bill Simmons?

  Because they're terrible. And now if we've learned anything, it's that that hasn't helped anyone. Uh, congrats.

• 1:03:22Speaker 01

  I think I think this was the most foolish I felt about a pick. I took Vegas plus seven and a half since uh betting.

• 1:03:28Bill Simmons?

  Oh, God.

• 1:03:29Speaker 01

  Betting Tyson over Jake Paul. I think this that was like, oh, we're getting not only seven, we're getting seven and a hook. And Kenny Pickett, uh, revenge game. Like, what am I doing?

• 1:03:38Bill Simmons?

  Kenny Pickett revenge game.

• 1:03:39Speaker 01

  Seventy five total yards for the Raiders. It just gets worse and worse.

• 1:03:44Bill Simmons?

  I didn't watch Giants, Washington or Niners Titans. And in fact, I've watched less of the Niners this year, I think, than any other playoff team. Take one more break for the pod, come back and I want to talk about the Ravens Bengals. We'll stay here on YouTube. So.

• 1:03:59Bill Simmons?

  Ravens killed the Bengals. The Borough situation is getting weird now.

• 1:04:03Speaker 01

  It's good work.

• 1:04:03Bill Simmons?

  There were signs last week. Kelsey and I talked about this on Thursday because we took the Ravens partly because we didn't understand some of the Borough quotes. Borough was awful. In this game, like really bad. And afterwards, he said, there's not a team in the NFL that would have won the game today if I was the quarterback.

• 1:04:22Bill Simmons?

  I don't know what's going on here, but it really is starting to seem like maybe he's not on this team next year.

• 1:04:30Speaker 01

  I mean, he got suckered. There's talk about how he might pull on Andrew Luck. You could see him just retire altogether. His during the week comments were bizarre, too. I know sometimes you get sucked into weird questions by the reporters, but he's like, yeah, no, I don't know if I'm having fun. I mean, he couldn't even explain it. So and then he said, guess what? Anyone who bet the Bengals plus two and a half, you're not going to have fun either. I mean, he threw one of the worst interceptions. That was that was Brosmer level pick, except it was forward and not backhanded. But I don't know what the hell's going on with him. They played on Thanksgiving. He looked great.

• 1:05:03Bill Simmons?

  Really bad. So Max and Rich on their show on Friday, which is a really good show, actually.

• 1:05:11Bill Simmons?

  They talked about Borough of the Giants, just like off the comments he had about if he was going to go, where would you want to see him go?

• 1:05:22Bill Simmons?

  You know, they're gonna have what? One of the top three picks? Right now, they're scheduled to have the number one pick. Yeah, I guess Mendoza would be the number one pick. Maybe they'll get the third pick. I don't know. But what's just my NBA brain's working here. What's the right price for Borough for you? Let's say the Giants were like, let's go get Joe Burrow. It's a big contract. We have the cap space. We'll throw in Jackson Dart. We don't think he can stay healthy. He got hurt, possibly concussed again today. But is it Dart and two firsts? Is that what I'd have to get if I'm the Bengals? Is it Dart and one first? Is it more than that? What is it?

• 1:05:59Speaker 01

  I think it's the one. I think it's one now. I really do.

• 1:06:03Bill Simmons?

  You think it's just the the top three pick? Because he's been hurt basically every year. He's 29 years old.

• 1:06:09Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot. It's his willingness to play the game if he wants to still play. There's all of that stuff. I think he went from fetching two ones to one, one and plus a Jackson Dart. But you don't see him in Minnesota. Could you see him like in Minnesota? Like, oh, I'm going to revitalize Justin Jefferson. We got the LSU connection going. Goodbye, J.J. McCarthy.

• 1:06:31Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, J.J. McCarthy and a first and a second?

• 1:06:36Speaker 01

  That'd be the most fun, I think.

• 1:06:38Bill Simmons?

  I don't know if they have the cap space. It'd be fun to have him in the Giants. You just don't want him in your division.

• 1:06:43Speaker 01

  No, no, yeah, that's enough.

• 1:06:46Bill Simmons?

  Do you think he's on the Bengals next year?

• 1:06:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think after all this shakes out like they, I mean, they got him as receivers. That's the thing. I just, it's just not working out and Higgins being out was not.

• 1:06:57Bill Simmons?

  They still can't block from though. I would have rather had the, the ability to block.

• 1:07:02Speaker 01

  Right. Every year it's the same thing. Well, that's what happens when you pay two monster wide receiver contracts, but it doesn't seem like anyone cares in that organization. They didn't even sweep down the, the snow off the seats today.

• 1:07:11Bill Simmons?

  I saw that. I saw that.

• 1:07:13Speaker 01

  It's like, we're not going to score anyway. You don't want to use these seats. It's fine.

• 1:07:17Bill Simmons?

  They're the cheapest organization in the league by far.

• 1:07:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:20Bill Simmons?

  Their fans are miserable. Um, I think they leave as much unspent cap as anybody. They have this incredible asset. We talked about this in our, in our preseason over unders. They had this incredible asset that they just decided not to protect with their offensive line in any way.

• 1:07:39Bill Simmons?

  I don't know. I would, I would probably, uh, I would probably think about moving on.

• 1:07:44Speaker 01

  We thought they were back though. We, what we saw on Thanksgiving was like, oh boy, just too little, too late from this team, right?

• 1:07:51Bill Simmons?

  Joe Cool.

• 1:07:52Speaker 01

  Joe Cool is back. We saw him in the tunnel with various ascots and everything. Good job. And then even the first half against the Bills, he was very good, right?

• 1:08:04Bill Simmons?

  It's not good. I'm also a little worried about our, uh, fourth place bet that we did. We have Saints.

• 1:08:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:14Bill Simmons?

  Browns, Titans.

• 1:08:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:17Bill Simmons?

  Is that it?

• 1:08:17Speaker 01

  Browns and Titans are doing us solid. Uh, the Saints, was there one more? Was there, um, I can't remember. I think we were good with three of them, but that, that the Saints winning doesn't help. But Atlanta winning that Thursday was okay too.

• 1:08:32Bill Simmons?

  All right. Quick break. This episode is brought to you by Fire TV. You ever sit down ready to watch the game only to search and scroll endlessly? If so, you need Fire TV. It shows you are live games from your favorite teams all in one place, right on the home screen. No more searching. Just sit down and turn on Fire TV. Separate subscriptions may be required. Feature and content availability may vary.

• 1:08:54Bill Simmons?

  This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. Excitement is in the air. That's right. It's the start of NBA season. I can't wait to get together with friends, share some Michelob Ultras and watch Tip Off. Plus, as the official beer sponsor of the NBA, Michelob Ultra is getting you closer to the action with experiences that make you feel like you're courtside to actual courtside tickets. Enter now for a chance to win at michelobultra.com/courtside. Michelob Ultra Courtside 26 to 27. No purchase necessary. Open to U.S. residents 21+ Begins on October 1st, 2026. Ends on June 30th, 2027. Multiple entry periods. See official rules at michelobultra.com/courtside for free entry. Entry deadlines, prizes and details. This episode is brought to you by WeatherTech.

• 1:09:37Bill Simmons?

  Whether it's a pumpkin spice coffee that goes splat in your seat or a weekend tailgate that leaves your trunk full of gear and who knows what. You're going to want WeatherTech in your vehicle. Whether you call it fall, autumn or spooky season, whether the mess is your fault, the kids, the dogs or the weather's fault, you're going to want WeatherTech for American-made floor liners and a cargo liner that laugh in the face of fall weather. Visit weathertech.com today. Let's do guest lines. Week 16 on one last week.

• 1:10:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, I like this. You're up 9-6 after 15 weeks.

• 1:10:08Bill Simmons?

  We should mention two Saturday games this year.

• 1:10:10Speaker 01

  This week, yeah. It's good.

• 1:10:12Bill Simmons?

  So we, so this week, so we go Thursday to Saturday. Sunday, Monday. It's officially a don't get divorced weekend.

• 1:10:21Speaker 01

  It's tough.

• 1:10:21Bill Simmons?

  Christmas shopping, kids home from school. Just be careful with your relationships and your marriages and everything else.

• 1:10:29Speaker 01

  Two Saturday games, two Saturday pro games, three college playoff games Saturday. Lot going on.

• 1:10:40Bill Simmons?

  Thursday night. Rams at Seattle.

• 1:10:46Bill Simmons?

  I don't see how Seattle is favored in this game after what I watched today, even with Devonte Adams hurt.

• 1:10:54Bill Simmons?

  I put this game in the tic tac zone. I have Rams minus one and a half.

• 1:10:57Speaker 01

  All right, we tied here. I can't even get off to like a lead here. It is, it is one and a half. It's exactly.

• 1:11:04Bill Simmons?

  If Adams was playing, I probably would have gone two and a half.

• 1:11:07Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:11:08Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:09Speaker 01

  That much difference.

• 1:11:09Bill Simmons?

  Worth a point. I think he's worth a point.

• 1:11:12Speaker 01

  Hmm. This is gonna be a mess. I know there's no way we could stay away from it, but I think you, I think you called it like Seattle could now look like they're the best in the league. I mean, three days rest.

• 1:11:25Bill Simmons?

  They've got to figure out the special team stuff. Shaheed finally didn't do a fair catch at the five after he did one in the first quarter again today. I think the fair catch in the five is my most annoying play of 2025.

• 1:11:39Speaker 01

  Did that internal rule don't weigh?

• 1:11:40Bill Simmons?

  Don't have a fair catch inside the 10. You keep your feet on the 10. If you feel yourself going backwards, don't catch the ball. Just run away from it.

• 1:11:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, it used to at least be the five. If you feel yourself drifting, just yeah, sprint to the sideline.

• 1:11:57Bill Simmons?

  Quite a spot for the Seahawks.

• 1:12:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:01Bill Simmons?

  Uh, Saturday, you could skip the first game. Eagles, Washington. I feel like this game happens every year. The Eagles are always favored. We put them in nine parlays and then Washington wins.

• 1:12:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:13Bill Simmons?

  So let's not do that this year.

• 1:12:15Speaker 01

  Oh, we're not gonna, we're not gonna bet.

• 1:12:16Bill Simmons?

  No, we're not gonna do that this year. Let's not do that.

• 1:12:19Speaker 01

  All right.

• 1:12:19Bill Simmons?

  Let's, we can guess it, but we're not gonna bet the Eagles. Just promise me you won't let me bet the Eagles.

• 1:12:24Speaker 01

  I promise you. Yeah, cuz they, they seem too back. This is what we needed. The NFL really needs Washington to be frisky in their three games. You know, like you said, the Christmas game, this one, then week 18.

• 1:12:37Bill Simmons?

  Why don't they, why didn't they try to figure out? Why don't they look at the same stuff we look at when we're doing over unders? When they're figuring out the TV schedule?

• 1:12:45Speaker 01

  Looking ahead?

• 1:12:46Bill Simmons?

  Washington was the most obvious regression team neither conference.

• 1:12:50Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:12:50Bill Simmons?

  Like, why didn't they realize like, eh, it might be a little dangerous to put them on Christmas or Saturday or whatever? Like, this is, there's here the 19 reasons they might go backwards.

• 1:13:00Speaker 01

  Way too many eggs in the Washington basket, yeah.

• 1:13:03Bill Simmons?

  I have Eagles by minus five and a half directly in the Vegas zone.

• 1:13:08Speaker 01

  All right. I don't know what point I have to call cheating here, but you nailed it exactly. Again, I said seven and a half. You don't think it should be seven or more at this point?

• 1:13:19Bill Simmons?

  Well, Washington won today.

• 1:13:20Speaker 01

  I don't.

• 1:13:20Bill Simmons?

  And they've been okay the last two weeks.

• 1:13:22Speaker 01

  I don't care if they play bad teams, what they do. Or I guess I should say the same about Philly.

• 1:13:27Bill Simmons?

  You know why I went, why I didn't? I thought about doing the seven or the seven and a half because of teases.

• 1:13:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:13:35Bill Simmons?

  I just don't think anyone wants to lay more than, like, more than five and a half points with the Eagles at this point.

• 1:13:41Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 1:13:43Bill Simmons?

  Like, going seven and up with that team, like, you just feel stupid.

• 1:13:47Speaker 01

  Is this the Raiders thing? I want to see teams' records after playing the Raiders. It's like playing, you know, horse with your six-year-old son.

• 1:13:55Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 1:13:56Speaker 01

  Get in a pickup game.

• 1:13:57Bill Simmons?

  Like eating ribs with Brad.

• 1:13:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:13:59Bill Simmons?

  Packers at Chicago is another game. Now, this is an awesome game.

• 1:14:03Speaker 01

  Really good.

• 1:14:04Bill Simmons?

  So spend time with your family during the first game.

• 1:14:06Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 1:14:07Bill Simmons?

  Carve out the second game. And is this going against a playoff game? It is, right? It's going against a college game?

• 1:14:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, it is. Yeah, there's three. Yes, this is the, is this the Texas A&M Miami game? Yeah, I think so. This is against a good one.

• 1:14:21Bill Simmons?

  I feel like there's going to be some marital and relationship strife on this, on this Saturday. I don't like anybody's thoughts.

• 1:14:25Speaker 01

  And there's already Saturday night.

• 1:14:28Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:28Speaker 01

  We got to figure this out. I hit this exactly, so really concentrate here.

• 1:14:34Bill Simmons?

  Packers at Chicago. I went Packers minus two and a half.

• 1:14:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's Packers minus two and a half.

• 1:14:43Bill Simmons?

  Ah.

• 1:14:44Speaker 01

  Three for three.

• 1:14:48Bill Simmons?

  Did I hit the first three exact? I didn't hit the Rams game, did I?

• 1:14:53Speaker 01

  You hit the first three exact. Yeah. What do you want me to say?

• 1:14:55Bill Simmons?

  What a streak I'm on. Look at this.

• 1:14:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're looking ahead at time. You're looking at what's your record? Nine or something?

• 1:15:03Bill Simmons?

  Not looking at anything.

• 1:15:04Speaker 01

  All right.

• 1:15:05Bill Simmons?

  Packers minus two now.

• 1:15:06Speaker 01

  That's a tough one. We got lucky. Oh, you didn't have that. Two weeks ago, you had Chicago, right? When Green Bay won by seven? That was last week already. Yeah.

• 1:15:15Bill Simmons?

  That was last week. I lost that one.

• 1:15:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, all right.

• 1:15:18Bill Simmons?

  I like the Bears in that game. Sunday marquee game. This has to be the first time in years that the Jaguars have been in the marquee game.

• 1:15:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, right.

• 1:15:29Bill Simmons?

  And yet here they are. Playing in Denver.

• 1:15:34Bill Simmons?

  And I have the Broncos favored by four.

• 1:15:38Speaker 01

  Wait, what happened here? I think I got this. Yeah.

• 1:15:42Bill Simmons?

  Broncos minus four.

• 1:15:43Speaker 01

  I said two and a half. It's three. It's my eyes. I'm not used to winning. So yeah, that's it.

• 1:15:48Bill Simmons?

  Wow, that's a lot of respect for the Jags.

• 1:15:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:15:53Bill Simmons?

  I don't know if I agree with that.

• 1:15:54Speaker 01

  Denver's what? One? 11 in a row now?

• 1:15:57Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:00Bill Simmons?

  We'll see. Watchables. Got three watchables. I put your dumb team in here. Cowboys home for the Chargers.

• 1:16:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:09Bill Simmons?

  Playoff implications. You're not quite dead yet. It'll be a fun game to watch.

• 1:16:14Speaker 01

  You know, I wish we weren't. I wish we didn't have to worry about playoffs, right? Like it just puts such a sting in it. Like I it would be it'd be so much fun to watch. If we were like the Savannah Bananas of the NFL, you know?

• 1:16:27Bill Simmons?

  Just an entertaining.

• 1:16:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:29Bill Simmons?

  Who said you were?

• 1:16:30Speaker 01

  We're the entertaining team. You're right. Let's just switch the uniforms. Get it done.

• 1:16:35Bill Simmons?

  Is Justin Herbert a starting quarterback in fantasy playoffs this week?

• 1:16:40Bill Simmons?

  Playing your team?

• 1:16:41Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, I think so. I would take him. I would take him over like Lamar and some of these less trustworthy guys.

• 1:16:51Bill Simmons?

  I have a tic tac.

• 1:16:54Bill Simmons?

  I have the Chargers minus one and a half over the Cowboys.

• 1:16:57Speaker 01

  I think I'm gonna get this. Oh, you had the Chargers. I had Dallas minus three. It's Dallas minus two and a half.

• 1:17:06Bill Simmons?

  Over the Chargers.

• 1:17:07Speaker 01

  Let me see if I'm looking at this right. Dallas minus one and a half, forty nine and a half. Yeah.

• 1:17:12Bill Simmons?

  Minus one and a half.

• 1:17:13Speaker 01

  Yep. Oh, what did I say? Oh, shit.

• 1:17:17Bill Simmons?

  Well, you still got it because I had the Chargers minus one and a half.

• 1:17:19Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:17:21Bill Simmons?

  Don't you think that flips by Sunday?

• 1:17:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, probably. And why would people be excited to bet the Cowboys here?

• 1:17:28Bill Simmons?

  What's George Pickens's price now?

• 1:17:32Speaker 01

  It's gonna be interesting.

• 1:17:33Bill Simmons?

  He went from twenty eight million a year to two point eight?

• 1:17:36Speaker 01

  Who do you franchise tag? Pickens or Aubrey? If you're Jerry?

• 1:17:41Bill Simmons?

  Aubrey.

• 1:17:41Speaker 01

  You do? Wow, you didn't even think about it. Really?

• 1:17:44Bill Simmons?

  Don't even blink at that. Yeah, because kickers aren't even that expensive.

• 1:17:47Speaker 01

  So then you're gonna lose Pickens probably.

• 1:17:50Bill Simmons?

  Okay.

• 1:17:50Speaker 01

  That's fine. All right. Wow. Yeah, it's a couple of good bad games. That's all it takes. Sorry, George.

• 1:17:57Bill Simmons?

  Watchables Bucks at Panthers in the future NFC South. This could only end in a tie would be the only perfect outcome. It's in Carolina. I have Tampa favored by two and a half.

• 1:18:08Speaker 01

  We both get that, and that is exactly what it is.

• 1:18:11Bill Simmons?

  There was an interesting video of the Bucks leaving the field on Thursday and the defensive guys yelling at each other that I thought.

• 1:18:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:19Bill Simmons?

  That was noteworthy.

• 1:18:21Speaker 01

  I couldn't hear it because I was yelling myself at, uh, at everyone in the house.

• 1:18:25Bill Simmons?

  You were yelling at Todd Bowles?

• 1:18:26Speaker 01

  Everybody.

• 1:18:27Bill Simmons?

  You had nineteen fucking penalties. You still lost.

• 1:18:29Speaker 01

  Disgusting. Yeah.

• 1:18:32Speaker 01

  Everybody praising Raheem Morris like, oh, he did a what a great job, Herb Street. What a great job. You got these guys together for this guy like they had. They had nineteen penalties. They really, they didn't do a great job.

• 1:18:45Bill Simmons?

  I yelled that, uh, I yelled that Rich, that was my first, my first note on the Max and Rich because he said Raheem Morris was a good coach. I had to mill him his record.

• 1:18:53Speaker 01

  Why'd he say that?

• 1:18:54Bill Simmons?

  It's like, he's not a good coach. I just thought he thought he was a good coach. I was like, I have to correct you. He's not a good coach.

• 1:18:59Speaker 01

  Is he okay with that?

• 1:18:59Bill Simmons?

  He's a mediocre coach. He's not good. He's thirty three and fifty seven lifetime.

• 1:19:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:19:06Bill Simmons?

  Lions Steelers in Detroit. And if there's ever a game that has to be in the Vegas zone, this is it. And I have the Lions by four and a half.

• 1:19:19Speaker 01

  All right, good. I had you out here. I said five, it's seven. It's all the way up to seven.

• 1:19:24Bill Simmons?

  Wow.

• 1:19:26Speaker 01

  Lions are weird. They lay a touchdown.

• 1:19:29Bill Simmons?

  We didn't talk about TJ Watt getting stabbed by the Chargers doctor.

• 1:19:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:19:32Bill Simmons?

  Oh, no, it was his own doctor.

• 1:19:33Speaker 01

  His own doctor, yeah. I don't think we could blame the Chargers.

• 1:19:36Bill Simmons?

  How does this happen twice in a decade?

• 1:19:38Speaker 01

  I guess this wasn't. This wasn't as crazy because what do they call it? Just a, uh, they don't call it a stab, but what, what a poke? I don't know what they call it, but it's, it's pretty routine, but went poorly.

• 1:19:51Bill Simmons?

  I would say so. It collapsed part of his lung.

• 1:19:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's not good. It's not good.

• 1:19:57Bill Simmons?

  Like if that was, like, let's say Zoe was having a breathing issue or something. They did that and it collapsed half of her lung. I would be out of my mind for like three weeks.

• 1:20:06Speaker 01

  No doubt.

• 1:20:07Bill Simmons?

  I'd be so mad. I would be like trying to sue everybody in sports are like, oh, kind of a fuck up. It's pretty weird.

• 1:20:13Speaker 01

  I always thought collapsed lung should be a worse prognosis, but you, you kind of recover fairly quickly from.

• 1:20:21Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it's crazy. That sounds like one of the worst injuries you could have.

• 1:20:24Speaker 01

  It should be.

• 1:20:25Bill Simmons?

  Sounds like you can bounce back.

• 1:20:27Bill Simmons?

  That line is too high. Fairly watchable is I got three.

• 1:20:33Bill Simmons?

  Chiefs at Titans.

• 1:20:35Speaker 01

  They really screwed up.

• 1:20:37Bill Simmons?

  I didn't want to put this in the poop fact, cause this whole post Mahomes era Chiefs, it's at least worth a whirl on the multi view.

• 1:20:44Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 1:20:45Bill Simmons?

  Right?

• 1:20:46Speaker 01

  Post Mahomes.

• 1:20:47Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, a little Minshew.

• 1:20:50Speaker 01

  You get Post Mahomes new, new CD?

• 1:20:54Speaker 01

  Download that on Spotify as soon as you can.

• 1:20:57Bill Simmons?

  Post Mahomes. I put this in the Vegas zone too. Chiefs five and a half.

• 1:21:04Speaker 01

  Uh, who gets this? I said four, it's three and a half. I get it.

• 1:21:07Bill Simmons?

  Oh.

• 1:21:08Speaker 01

  This is Minshew leading this team. I guess you have to give points no matter what.

• 1:21:14Bill Simmons?

  So Mahomes is the QB. What's the line? Nine?

• 1:21:16Speaker 01

  It's so stupid.

• 1:21:17Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Boy, they really, they screwed this up.

• 1:21:21Speaker 01

  Maybe four and a half, maybe four and a half or something. They really, they dumbed this down, this whole thing.

• 1:21:27Bill Simmons?

  Who on the Sunday Ringer gambling show is gonna take the Titans as their underdog?

• 1:21:33Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:34Bill Simmons?

  That's fit. This has a whiff of JJ to it.

• 1:21:36Speaker 01

  Man's best bet. Yeah.

• 1:21:38Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:38Speaker 01

  Friends, don't let friends bet the Titans, but I'm not listening to you. I'm taking them.

• 1:21:45Bill Simmons?

  Mike McCray is figured it out.

• 1:21:49Bill Simmons?

  Fairly watchable Dolphins home for the Bengals. I can't believe it, but I'm gonna lose all my Dolphins unders. I had, I'd already spent the money in my head after they were one and six or whatever. And they went on this winning streak. They're probably gonna win tomorrow night in Pittsburgh. And now they're playing a depressed Joe Burrow and a terrible Bengals team in this game at home. And I have them as three point favorites.

• 1:22:12Speaker 01

  Uh, Miami is three. I had two. It's one and a half. All right, good. I'm starting to build some momentum.

• 1:22:20Bill Simmons?

  What's the score?

• 1:22:20Speaker 01

  Hey, so we, uh, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven to four. It's a good, nice little lead for me.

• 1:22:26Bill Simmons?

  Okay.

• 1:22:26Speaker 01

  Did you, um?

• 1:22:27Bill Simmons?

  For you or me?

• 1:22:29Speaker 01

  For me.

• 1:22:29Bill Simmons?

  I'm losing now?

• 1:22:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:22:31Bill Simmons?

  I got the first three exactly. Where am I losing?

• 1:22:34Speaker 01

  You went on a sad streak after that. We also, speaking of sad streaks, have

• 1:22:39Bill Simmons?

  Excuse me, cheating?

• 1:22:40Speaker 01

  A big bet of Miami to not make the playoffs on a parlay, right?

• 1:22:44Bill Simmons?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:22:45Speaker 01

  When do we, you're, you're not worried at all about this? They're plus.

• 1:22:49Bill Simmons?

  Miami making the, they're not gonna make the playoffs?

• 1:22:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's true. I'm looking at this now. Yeah, they could, 10 and 7 is the best they're gonna do.

• 1:22:57Bill Simmons?

  Can I give you the futures I'm most depressed that I lost?

• 1:23:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:23:03Bill Simmons?

  These are losing bets. Philly, KC and Baltimore all to make the playoffs was plus 110. I somehow lost that.

• 1:23:13Bill Simmons?

  New England, Philly and KC all to make the playoffs, plus 312.

• 1:23:18Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:23:19Bill Simmons?

  Loser.

• 1:23:19Speaker 01

  I see a common theme here.

• 1:23:22Bill Simmons?

  KC for the AFC West, plus 110, loser.

• 1:23:25Speaker 01

  I was right with you.

• 1:23:27Bill Simmons?

  This one really hurt. 200, 200. I did this on Fanduel. It was plus 2200.

• 1:23:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:23:35Bill Simmons?

  New England, KC, and Philly all to be in first place.

• 1:23:40Bill Simmons?

  And New England was the wild card one. And that hit, and somehow KC is not gonna be.

• 1:23:44Speaker 01

  Did you have that for a couple of weeks at least? That might have been exciting for a couple of weeks.

• 1:23:49Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:23:50Bill Simmons?

  But I have these no playoff bets that we did. Miami, Cleveland, New Orleans, Tennessee.

• 1:23:56Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:23:57Bill Simmons?

  And then we also did Miami, Cleveland, Giants, Tennessee.

• 1:24:01Speaker 01

  And then we have our last place thing too. Yeah.

• 1:24:03Bill Simmons?

  This was fun. Plus 337. Denver makes the playoffs. Cincy, the Saints, and Cleveland don't.

• 1:24:09Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 1:24:10Bill Simmons?

  I'm counting that as a win.

• 1:24:11Speaker 01

  Cincy, yeah.

• 1:24:12Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:13Speaker 01

  That's good. What's more embarrassing when you bet a team to make the playoffs like the Chiefs and they don't? Or when you bet against the Colts? And like by week eight, they're, although, although that's looking good, that's not a good example, but.

• 1:24:28Bill Simmons?

  Did they? But they hit the over though.

• 1:24:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, they hit the over. That's, that's what they hit. They're over hit really. But they're plus 810 to make the playoffs, so.

• 1:24:37Bill Simmons?

  Jesus. Um, okay. Guess the lines. Next one. Yeah, we're still doing it. I still can come back here. Bills at the Browns.

• 1:24:48Bill Simmons?

  Tough, tough day for Shador. Not a lot of texts from Charlamagne today, and my texts are that I'm on with him about Shador.

• 1:24:55Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 1:24:56Bill Simmons?

  But last week, there was a lot.

• 1:24:57Speaker 01

  Are you, you're pro Shador and he's against him?

• 1:25:00Bill Simmons?

  No, he's, he's pro. He was, he was really bullish last week on Shador. This week, quiet.

• 1:25:06Speaker 01

  Has he made, Shador made one team regret the decision to pass on him? Including the, the Browns who passed on him four times before taking him?

• 1:25:17Bill Simmons?

  I thought he was pretty good last week.

• 1:25:20Bill Simmons?

  There's, there were signs at least this week he was.

• 1:25:22Speaker 01

  Pretty good. He'd lost to the Titans, but yeah, I mean, the first two minutes of the game this week, there's a false start and two delay of games. And he throws Jerry Judy under the bus in the post-game press conference and played that wasn't even, wasn't his fault.

• 1:25:35Bill Simmons?

  That would have been a really, really tough, hard catch for Jerry Judy.

• 1:25:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, right.

• 1:25:39Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:39Speaker 01

  He held the ball on fourth and goal for 7.92 seconds and took a sack instead of throwing it. And the front office is like, we need Deshaun back. What's his status? Let's do it.

• 1:25:50Bill Simmons?

  I don't know what his, what his ceiling is or what, what he's going to look like four years from now. The two things I've noticed is the same shit that people said in college. He holds the ball too long.

• 1:26:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:00Bill Simmons?

  And it doesn't seem like he's quite athletic enough. You know what I mean?

• 1:26:04Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:26:05Bill Simmons?

  Like you want him to be more athletic than he actually is so that, I don't know what the ceiling is, but I do think like there's, there's some, something about him that makes sense when you're watching. We're like, oh, I can see it. I, I know. I feel like I've seen this before.

• 1:26:20Speaker 01

  Can he put it together though?

• 1:26:21Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Yeah. Can he put it together? But I don't think, it's not one of those where you see certain quarterbacks, you're like, I don't see it. This, this is, this guy does not have it. Like a Nathan Peterman or somebody.

• 1:26:32Speaker 01

  Brosmer.

• 1:26:33Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, Brosmer. It's like, I don't see it.

• 1:26:35Speaker 01

  Well, tell Shaleem and Shaleem to figure it out.

• 1:26:38Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I'll argue about with him tomorrow.

• 1:26:40Speaker 01

  I was off by a point here. What do you have?

• 1:26:42Bill Simmons?

  I had Bills minus 10 and a half in Cleveland.

• 1:26:44Speaker 01

  You got it exactly. I said nine and a half. All right. So that's going to be on your 13-point teaser or 10-point teaser? I mean, that's, that's a freebie. We can't love Josh Allen all this time.

• 1:26:55Bill Simmons?

  I guess my question with the Browns is, do they have one more game at home where they get a lead and their defense kind of lays the smackdown and they're awesome? Cause we, they do this like four times a year, right? They'll get like a special teams play. They'll get a long pass play. They'll get some sort of fumble thing and then their defense, Miles Garrett goes nuts and.

• 1:27:17Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:27:18Bill Simmons?

  But I, I just, I'm not worried about that with Josh Allen in the game.

• 1:27:22Speaker 01

  I'm not either, unless he gets hurt.

• 1:27:23Bill Simmons?

  So, so to answer your question, I will be putting them in a teaser.

• 1:27:26Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, we should figure that out. We should have cross off teams that are just not going to be competitive these last three weeks. Are the Raiders one of them? Like, are they ever going to be in a game the rest of the month? Are the Browns? Are the Titans? Really figure it out.

• 1:27:38Bill Simmons?

  Well, the Raiders have a chance.

• 1:27:41Speaker 01

  For what?

• 1:27:42Bill Simmons?

  So if they fire Pete at the end of the year.

• 1:27:44Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:27:45Bill Simmons?

  They're probably still paying Antonio Pierce.

• 1:27:48Speaker 01

  Paying everyone.

• 1:27:49Bill Simmons?

  Do you think they're still paying McDaniels?

• 1:27:51Speaker 01

  I think, aren't they paying Gruden?

• 1:27:52Bill Simmons?

  And they're still paying Gruden?

• 1:27:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:53Bill Simmons?

  Cause that was like an 11 year contract. They might be able to pay five coaches next year.

• 1:27:57Speaker 01

  That'd be good. Yeah.

• 1:27:59Bill Simmons?

  Poop packed up four games. Saints home for the Jets.

• 1:28:05Bill Simmons?

  This is gonna be one of my ring or one out of seven picks. I love the Saints. Saints minus two and a half.

• 1:28:10Speaker 01

  Oh, I get this, right? I said six. It's four and a half. And I can't believe it's not six. Why do you think, why do you think it was two and a half?

• 1:28:20Bill Simmons?

  Cause it's the Saints. They're four and 10?

• 1:28:22Speaker 01

  They're decent. Jets are three and 11 with the, going nowhere.

• 1:28:28Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I probably went to.

• 1:28:29Speaker 01

  I like this too. I don't love that it's in the Vegas zone, but I do like, I like the Saints here.

• 1:28:34Bill Simmons?

  Vikings at the Giants. Uh, let's put a point five on that and do Vikings minus three and a half at the Giants.

• 1:28:41Speaker 01

  Um, that's exactly what I said. And it's one and a half. Unless, unless it changed after, uh, let's see. It's two and a half now. Two and a half now. Either way, we split it.

• 1:28:54Bill Simmons?

  Falcons at the Cardinals who have to be, uh, this was not a good last couple of weeks for them. I can't imagine Jonathan Gaino will be the coach next year, but we'll see. Falcons minus three is my pick.

• 1:29:05Speaker 01

  They lost 11 out of 12. Their one win was against the Cowboys. Um, you're gonna get this. I went way too high. I said five and a half. It's one and a half. Falcons by one and a half.

• 1:29:16Bill Simmons?

  Do I have any chance of winning?

• 1:29:18Speaker 01

  Let's say, let's say seven, two, three, four, five, six, nine to seven. Yeah, there's three left.

• 1:29:25Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, okay.

• 1:29:26Speaker 01

  And I was off a lot in one.

• 1:29:29Bill Simmons?

  Texans home for the Raiders.

• 1:29:33Bill Simmons?

  I went high. I thought this was a higher than you thought game. And I went high and I did Texans minus 13.

• 1:29:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, I said 12 and it's 14 and a half.

• 1:29:44Bill Simmons?

  Oh, that's higher than I thought. See, I was right.

• 1:29:47Speaker 01

  Two, three, six, eight. All right. I'm up one. I have to maintain and it's gotta be on this game, I think.

• 1:29:55Bill Simmons?

  Did you see Hamnet?

• 1:29:57Speaker 01

  No. What is that? Jon Hamm?

• 1:30:01Bill Simmons?

  It's a movie. It's Jon Hamm's new movie. He's got a net.

• 1:30:06Speaker 01

  Really? He's a trapeze artist?

• 1:30:08Bill Simmons?

  No, it's Hamnet, Hamnet, Hamnet. I forget how you pronounce it, but uh, it's uh, it's really great. And I think uh,

• 1:30:18Speaker 01

  Does that have anything to do with what we're doing?

• 1:30:20Bill Simmons?

  The wife, and it's emotional. No, I was thinking like your football season's over.

• 1:30:23Speaker 01

  Oh, I see. Oh, thank you. Don't worry about it.

• 1:30:25Bill Simmons?

  Emotional movie.

• 1:30:26Speaker 01

  No, yeah, yeah.

• 1:30:26Bill Simmons?

  The wife.

• 1:30:28Speaker 01

  Yeah. That's what I want to do. That's a cheer. That'll pick me up.

• 1:30:34Bill Simmons?

  Sunday night.

• 1:30:36Bill Simmons?

  Patriots at the Ravens.

• 1:30:38Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:30:39Bill Simmons?

  It's a tic-tac game. And I went back and forth. And I landed on the Patriots minus one and a half.

• 1:30:46Speaker 01

  Okay, good. All right, I win the week. I said Baltimore minus three and a half, and it's two and a half.

• 1:30:53Bill Simmons?

  Wow, I was up by four points.

• 1:30:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:30:57Speaker 01

  You love the Pats on the teaser. You love them. Plus eight and a half. That's on your ring at 107.

• 1:31:03Bill Simmons?

  Honestly, I think that's outrageous that the Pats aren't favored in this game.

• 1:31:07Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:31:08Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. What's good about the Ravens?

• 1:31:12Speaker 01

  Well, let's see. They were two and a half to Cincy, right, today? On the road, so that's the same number. No, nothing's good about them, except when you see Henry with a burst of energy and you're like, oh yeah.

• 1:31:25Bill Simmons?

  Every once in a while, yeah.

• 1:31:26Speaker 01

  That's what that should, that's what that should look like.

• 1:31:28Bill Simmons?

  I thought Borough, like, single-handedly lost that game today.

• 1:31:32Speaker 01

  All right, just for fun, let's do San Francisco, Indianapolis.

• 1:31:37Bill Simmons?

  In Indianapolis?

• 1:31:38Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:31:39Bill Simmons?

  Niners minus two and a half is my pick.

• 1:31:41Speaker 01

  Oh, no. I said three and a half. It's five and a half.

• 1:31:45Speaker 01

  Come on, Bill, you gotta get better in this.

• 1:31:48Bill Simmons?

  The Niners are favored by five and a half in Indianapolis?

• 1:31:51Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:31:52Bill Simmons?

  After what we saw today, the Indianapolis played well today.

• 1:31:56Speaker 01

  They power ranked them high when they go against 72 year old quarterbacks. Or just, you know, quarterbacks that aren't established.

• 1:32:04Bill Simmons?

  I would not be laying that five and a half, but maybe they'll see stuff with, with, uh, with Phil.

• 1:32:10Speaker 01

  Yeah. All right. Nine.

• 1:32:11Bill Simmons?

  All right.

• 1:32:13Speaker 01

  Back in it.

• 1:32:15Bill Simmons?

  Congrats.

• 1:32:16Speaker 01

  Woo.

• 1:32:17Bill Simmons?

  I spent a lot of time with Jacoby this week because he was in town.

• 1:32:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:32:21Bill Simmons?

  We watched, uh, we watched some basketball and, uh,

• 1:32:24Speaker 01

  He roots for me a lot. Yeah.

• 1:32:26Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. He mentioned it's one of the highlights of his week, rooting, rooting for your guests.

• 1:32:29Speaker 01

  So sad.

• 1:32:30Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:31Speaker 01

  All right.

• 1:32:31Bill Simmons?

  He really enjoys it.

• 1:32:32Speaker 01

  I'm glad I didn't let him down.

• 1:32:34Bill Simmons?

  This episode is brought to you by Expedia. You know how at the end of the season, your team goes to Cancun? Sometimes earlier than expected, sometimes after blowing a three, one series lead. But what if you went to Cancun with Expedia save up to 30% when you bundle and save? You can book the flight or the hotel now, then book the rest later. In all fairness though, hopefully your team doesn't go to Cancun, one, two, three Cancun. Or if they do, you go with them. Expedia, the one place you go to go places. Sign in to save savings vary. This episode is brought to you by PNC Bank. In today's sports, everyone is constantly trying to outdo each other. Trick formations, infield shifts, constant rotation changes. Yet it's proven time and time again that strong fundamentals are the thing that will lead you to victory. Banking, no different.

• 1:33:19Bill Simmons?

  While everyone else tries to outdo each other, PNC Bank just keeps going right down the middle with steady, calculated money moves and the financial wins just keep coming. PNC Bank, brilliantly boring since 1865, brilliantly boring since 1865 is a registered mark of the PNC Financial Services Group, Incorporated. PNC Bank, National Association Member, FTIC. All right, parent corner, you're up.

• 1:33:45Speaker 01

  We're doing it. Are we sponsored?

• 1:33:46Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. No, we're not sponsored. We're just going. Nobody wanted to sponsor us after we had a controversial parent corner a couple of weeks ago. No, I don't still have a sponsor this week.

• 1:33:55Speaker 01

  Um, all the kids are home, right? It's great. You got the kids home. College, Zoe's home. Archie drove 14 hours and, um, his girlfriend arrives tomorrow. And she's staying for most of the week. And uh, my wife's just a little too crazy, like trying to figure this out, what to put by her bed. Is it sees candies and flowers?

• 1:34:17Bill Simmons?

  First time, first time girlfriend stayed, okay.

• 1:34:20Speaker 01

  First time, basically first time we met her, we met her in New York for about forty seconds. And then they went their separate ways. I don't know why she happened to be there. We were there. So anyway, um, we get like one dinner with her and then he's gonna do whatever the rest of the few days uh, there together. So I was like, alright, we'll go to Bianco Monday night and uh, and that'll be good. And she'll, you know, show us some good pizza and uh, and my son, Jack is like, I'm not going to that. The Steelers are playing. Uh, uh, I'm big Steelers. I'm, I'm going to the bar. He goes to this bar locally and, and watches the game with these strangers, like these like fifty year old strangers.

• 1:35:00Speaker 01

  And I was like, you're gonna blow off the dinner to go to this bar? He's like, yeah, she'll understand. Archie will understand. Otherwise, I'm like, and I'm thinking like, you know, we better just let him go because he'll be watching the game on his phone at the dinner. And he is not like me where he bottles up his emotions, like every play, there'll be an F-bomb and the waiter will look over him like, let's just let him go. So my wife's like, really?

• 1:35:20Bill Simmons?

  Since when do you bottle up your emotions? When did that start?

• 1:35:23Speaker 01

  That's uh, just tonight, just tonight. Yeah, it's working great. Yeah, it's a pre-New Year's resolution. But anyway, alright, so he's not going. My youngest son will go and he'll be looking at his watch, talking to his kids, uh, talking to his friends the whole time. So she's not gonna be impressed with that. And then there's me and I'm like, I don't trust myself at one of these because I love eating. And I said to Archie, I said, what is the acceptable amount of pizza? How many slices? Before you guys have a conversation about me afterwards?

• 1:35:55Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 1:35:56Speaker 01

  Let me, let me hear your answer first. Like, are there smaller slices? You know how?

• 1:35:59Bill Simmons?

  I was gonna ask, can I, so give me more info on the slices?

• 1:36:02Speaker 01

  Well, you know, it's Bianco. What do you mean?

• 1:36:06Bill Simmons?

  But is it like when, is it like when Bianca, when he makes the pizza? Or is it like the individual when you order the slices?

• 1:36:12Speaker 01

  No, no, no. It's when he makes the pizza. So we'll get a rosa, we'll get a sunny boy. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:36:19Bill Simmons?

  Are you gonna eat the crust?

• 1:36:21Speaker 01

  I will eat the crust. You know how it is. I think that's a waste.

• 1:36:26Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, you always get mad running at the crust.

• 1:36:27Speaker 01

  I don't like it. I think it's childish. That's where all the good carbs are.

• 1:36:32Bill Simmons?

  She won't notice the first four.

• 1:36:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:36:37Bill Simmons?

  Five, I think her radar will start going off. Six is my answer.

• 1:36:42Speaker 01

  Oh, no. I was hoping I can get eight. Six? Only six?

• 1:36:45Bill Simmons?

  I think six. I think she becomes concerned at six.

• 1:36:49Speaker 01

  Well, that's what Archie's like.

• 1:36:50Bill Simmons?

  If you're eating the crust.

• 1:36:52Speaker 01

  Archie said six also, but I said, what if it's eight? And he's like, I just, it kind of depends what it is. It can't be like everyone's done and then you're gonna have four more. So I have to time.

• 1:37:03Bill Simmons?

  Oh, the Joe House. Like when you come in late, you come in out of the bullpen and you close.

• 1:37:08Speaker 01

  Yeah. Like you don't like when I do that either. You're like, well, let's, what are we ordering for Sal? And I was like, all right, screw you. I'll eat most of the calamari rings because I'm not getting a drink here like you guys, you know? But, uh, whatever it is.

• 1:37:20Bill Simmons?

  First of all, that's just not true at all. I've always encouraged your overeating. I've never, I've never judged you ever.

• 1:37:24Speaker 01

  You don't like to share. You don't like to, but when we do the sharing place.

• 1:37:27Bill Simmons?

  I don't like to share dessert and I, I stand on that till, till the day I die. Yeah. I think it's weird to like, let's share an ice cream or let's share pudding or.

• 1:37:35Speaker 01

  Okay. So for tomorrow, you would recommend we each get our own dessert?

• 1:37:40Bill Simmons?

  No, you do what you want. I just don't personally love sharing dessert, but I'm also an only child. I'm not gonna defend myself.

• 1:37:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, you really are. Yeah. Your, your father can't fix that, huh?

• 1:37:49Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:49Speaker 01

  No. All right. I am, uh.

• 1:37:51Bill Simmons?

  Maybe there's still time. I don't know.

• 1:37:53Speaker 01

  I'm gonna eat eight slices of pizza tomorrow and, uh, so be it. If they talk, they talk. I'll let you know how it goes.

• 1:38:01Bill Simmons?

  And is this the only dinner where you're all going out together?

• 1:38:04Speaker 01

  I think so. Yeah. Maybe ever again. Yeah.

• 1:38:09Speaker 01

  My wife is very nervous about this, uh, this whole thing. See how it goes.

• 1:38:14Bill Simmons?

  This all sounds great.

• 1:38:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:38:19Bill Simmons?

  I don't, I don't actually really have a parent corner this week, other than something I brought up a few weeks ago, but I'll bring it up again.

• 1:38:29Bill Simmons?

  This whole thing where our parents don't tell us that there's stuff going on with them because they don't want to worry us.

• 1:38:35Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 1:38:36Bill Simmons?

  I really want to talk this out. Okay. Cause our, our parent corners, because our kids got older are now turning into parent corners about our parents and not us being the parent. Are you gonna do this when you're like in your late seventies? Like you'll have some procedure? And you just won't tell like Archie? And then you'll tell him after the fact and then you, and then he'll be like, why didn't you tell me? I would have loved to have known or I could have driven you. And you'd be like, well, I didn't want to worry you.

• 1:39:04Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:39:05Bill Simmons?

  Is this just something you do when you're in your like late seventies?

• 1:39:09Speaker 01

  So if I have to get four slices of pizza removed from my spleen and I don't say.

• 1:39:13Bill Simmons?

  I am leaning. Have your stomach pumped.

• 1:39:16Speaker 01

  I'm leaning towards not saying anything, I think, only because.

• 1:39:20Bill Simmons?

  So we're gonna do this.

• 1:39:22Speaker 01

  I think I'm rebelling against my parents who are just the opposite and don't.

• 1:39:26Bill Simmons?

  Oh, they gave you too much information.

• 1:39:28Speaker 01

  Every single step of the way, they made a left turn or a right turn before they got to see their sign or whatever it is. Yeah. Yeah. So I, I think.

• 1:39:36Bill Simmons?

  Jimmy, cousin Jimmy, Jimmy's dad. Is the opposite. He's an overshare, right? He's like, here's the update. I went and whatever. But our parents don't do that.

• 1:39:47Speaker 01

  Right. Mine does. Yours don't. Yeah.

• 1:39:50Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, my dad does.

• 1:39:51Speaker 01

  Really? And you don't like that?

• 1:39:53Bill Simmons?

  He's, well, I'm 3,000 miles away. I'd like to know, like, he's having like some arthritis stuff in his neck, but he had some procedure and he's like, yeah, I'm, I didn't want to, I didn't want to worry you, but I'm home for the next couple of days because I had this procedure. And I'm like, what do you mean a procedure? Like a surgery? He's like, wow. And I was like, did they have to put you out? And he was like, yeah, they, but it wasn't a serious one. I was like, but you had to go under? And, but he didn't want to worry me, but I think it worries me more that he didn't want to worry me. Now I'm even more worried that that's his attitude of not worrying me.

• 1:40:28Speaker 01

  And you could talk to his.

• 1:40:31Speaker 01

  His wife?

• 1:40:31Bill Simmons?

  My stepmother.

• 1:40:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:40:32Bill Simmons?

  Well, cuz my stepmother, she, yeah, she's, she's not.

• 1:40:36Speaker 01

  She'll complain.

• 1:40:37Bill Simmons?

  She won't tell me.

• 1:40:38Speaker 01

  Oh, I see.

• 1:40:39Bill Simmons?

  She's gonna be loyal to him.

• 1:40:40Speaker 01

  Right, right, right. That's tough. The only thing I'll say is, when it gets to this age, and this isn't gonna be comforting, you could assume that every four months is gonna be.

• 1:40:48Bill Simmons?

  Well, that was his thing. It's like, it was nothing major. I'm old, blah, blah, blah. I got arthritis.

• 1:40:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:40:55Bill Simmons?

  And then, uh, you know, my mom had the same thing. Like, she, she had had a cut, and she went to the ER for it. And she told me like, two days later, because she didn't wanna worry me.

• 1:41:05Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:41:05Bill Simmons?

  She was like, it was no big deal. And I was like, well, if you're, if you go to the ER, I'd like to know. I'm here. I would go.

• 1:41:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think you could understand it, though. You're a pretty private guy, though, when it comes to stuff like that, right?

• 1:41:17Bill Simmons?

  Isn't the parent-child ER slash surgery slash whatever? I feel like I, I feel like I'm entitled to the information at all times.

• 1:41:25Speaker 01

  All right. Yeah, you are an only child. Yeah. It's not like he's telling the others.

• 1:41:31Bill Simmons?

  My daughter came back from college today. The whole family's back. I'm really excited.

• 1:41:35Speaker 01

  What do you mean, she was back? Wasn't she back?

• 1:41:37Bill Simmons?

  Well, then she went, she went back for classes for two weeks. Now she's back. Now we're, now we're all back.

• 1:41:41Speaker 01

  It's nice, isn't it?

• 1:41:43Bill Simmons?

  It's great.

• 1:41:43Speaker 01

  Really nice. Yeah.

• 1:41:44Bill Simmons?

  The family's back. Did you, did you ever have the empty nester convo with your, with your wife about what happens if everybody's gone?

• 1:41:53Speaker 01

  Um, uh, what, what do you mean, like, how?

• 1:41:56Bill Simmons?

  Like, all the kids are out of the house. It's just the two of you.

• 1:41:58Speaker 01

  We're replacing them with dogs. I don't wanna take it back to dogs, cuz I know you hit that.

• 1:42:02Bill Simmons?

  So more dogs.

• 1:42:03Speaker 01

  I think it's gonna be one more, it's gonna be two dogs. Yeah. Why, what, did you have that conversation?

• 1:42:07Bill Simmons?

  No, it's just, you know, Ben's gonna be in college next year, and it's.

• 1:42:10Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:42:12Bill Simmons?

  Unless we have another kid, I don't know. I gotta check.

• 1:42:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:42:16Bill Simmons?

  Pretty old at this point.

• 1:42:17Speaker 01

  Have another kid. Your dad should have another kid.

• 1:42:20Bill Simmons?

  You, like, you figured it out. You, you really solved it.

• 1:42:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, fricking.

• 1:42:24Bill Simmons?

  No, you have the Harrison thing. You, you solved it.

• 1:42:26Speaker 01

  Right, every other week.

• 1:42:27Bill Simmons?

  Cooperstown in, in July, ninety-nine degree, staying in some barracks?

• 1:42:34Speaker 01

  Between now and July, I have thirty tournaments, two-day tournaments in, like, cities in California no one would ever wanna.

• 1:42:41Bill Simmons?

  It's amazing Baby Doll doesn't own one of these, like, Little League tournaments, cuz it's the all-time money grab. It should be like the Money Grab production. Yeah, it should be Money Grab Field of Dreams, presented by James Dixon.

• 1:42:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, we gotta get him in there. He buys dumb shit.

• 1:42:57Bill Simmons?

  I talked to him this weekend and you're not gonna believe this, but he was in Martha's Vineyard.

• 1:43:07Bill Simmons?

  And it was beautiful there, baby.

• 1:43:10Speaker 01

  How many country clubs? 11?

• 1:43:13Bill Simmons?

  I don't know. We got that Christmas card from, from our cousin.

• 1:43:17Speaker 01

  Yeah. He makes a James Baby Doll Dixon Christmas card and pretends Baby Doll sent it. And even somehow gets Baby's return address on there and sends it out. And it's all braggadocious stuff about what he's accomplished this year.

• 1:43:31Bill Simmons?

  I belong between 11 and 16 country clubs.

• 1:43:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, right, right. I almost got to have dinner with Al Pacino. It would have been one of the great moments of my life, but it goes on and on. So good.

• 1:43:45Bill Simmons?

  All right. That's it for Parent Corner. That's it for the pod. You got the Ring and Gambling Show Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. You're doing a good job, but when you're, when you're driving, I think the hosting's really gone up a notch this year. Yeah, I like what you've done this year. You've added some things.

• 1:44:01Speaker 01

  I try to be like Terry Bradshaw and Colin Coward and like a nice little combination of those two.

• 1:44:06Bill Simmons?

  It's like how Jalen Brown added that little crossover step back. Like I feel like you've added a couple of moves.

• 1:44:11Speaker 01

  Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. I like to add a couple of wins, so I don't have to go to the bank and meet with weirdos.

• 1:44:18Bill Simmons?

  So we'll be back. We'll be back next Sunday. What's the Sunday night game next week?

• 1:44:23Speaker 01

  Your guys.

• 1:44:24Bill Simmons?

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They flexed us.

• 1:44:26Speaker 01

  That's a fun one.

• 1:44:28Bill Simmons?

  That's a good one.

• 1:44:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:44:30Bill Simmons?

  I'm already taking the land personally. Yeah. So we'll be back after Ravens Pats on YouTube. Sal?

• 1:44:36Speaker 01

  Good job by you. Good job by you, buddy.

• 1:44:39Bill Simmons?

  Thanks to Gahal and thanks to, I think Brian's on because I think Eduardo's off. Eduardo's off and the Chargers just keep winning without him. That's it for YouTube and then I'll be back. Rewatchables Monday, high fidelity. And then I got a podcast on Tuesday. I'll see you next week, Sal.

• 1:44:54Speaker 01

  Very good.

• 1:45:09Bill Simmons?

  Must be 21 plus and present in select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino, or 18 plus and present in DC, Kentucky, or Wyoming. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit rg-help.com. Call 888-797777 or visit ccpg.org/chat in Connecticut, or mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplineMA.org, or call 800-327-5050 for 24/7 support in Massachusetts, or call 877-8HOPENY, or text HOPENY in New York. This episode is brought to you by Searchlight Pictures Wild Horse 9. John Malkovich and Sam Rockwell, I like those guys, star in the sharp-witted comedy thriller from Academy

• 1:45:51Bill Simmons?

  Award winner Martin McDonagh, writer-director of The Banshees of Inisherin and Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, set in the 1970s, filmed on location on Easter Island. Malkovich and Rockwell play CIA agents Chris and Lee, who are caught in a dangerous game of secrets and survival. Also starring Steve Buscemi, another one of my guys, Parker Posey and Tom Waits. Wild Horse 9 is being hailed by critics as a revitalizing shot of pure entertainment, and easily one of the best films of the year. Don't miss Wild Horse 9, only in theaters November 6. Get tickets now. This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. Fall is here, and Whole Foods Market has everything you need for cozy meals, seasonal treats, and easy entertaining.

• 1:46:35Bill Simmons?

  Elevate your hearty dishes with tasty bone-in beef short ribs or New York strip steaks with no added growth hormones or antibiotics. And as the fall evenings draw in, why not get ahead of cold season with immunity shots, herbal teas, lasages, and supplements? Make sure you look for sales throughout the month. Shop fall flavors with higher standards at Whole Foods Market.