Ask! & Fulfill Your Destiny w/ Mark & Crystal Hansen

DO YOU WANT THE RIGHT ANSWERS IN LIFE? IT ALL STARTS WITH ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONS. Are you ready for this ? MY GUEST HAS SOLD 500 MILLION BOOKS! Yep… 500,000,000 Mark is a legend and an icon In this interview he and his incredible wife Crystal are going to teach you how to ask the right questions and HOW to ASK for what you want! Best known as the co-author of the CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL book series, Mark is a highly sought-after keynote speaker who has helped untold numbers of people achieve massive success through his teachings and wisdom. As an author, he has written 59 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLERS. Mark is a prolific audio and video producer who has also spoken to 6,000 audiences and continues to share his compelling knowledge and wisdom along with his soul-mate and wife, Crystal Dwyer Hansen, to gatherings throughout the world. It was an honor to share time with Mark and Crystal in this latest episode. We cover how simple but also how difficult it is for people to ASK FOR HELP in their lives. Mark and Crystal explore this topic in great detail in their latest book, “Ask!: The Bridge from Your Dreams to Your Destiny,” which I read in two days and HIGHLY RECOMMEND. Our talk also touches upon the power of asking GOD for help and asking your SUBCONSCIOUS to help you solve whatever challenges you're facing. These are the types of things that EVERY ONE OF YOU can do to improve your life. Mark and Crystal also get into the ROADBLOCKS that keep us from asking questions that can help us lead RICHER lives. UNDERSTAND THIS! We all have the ability to ask questions. As Mark and Crystal reveal, it’s the QUALITY of the questions we ask ourselves and how they relate to our feelings and emotions that determine the types of answers we get. 👉 SUBSCRIBE TO ED'S YOUTUBE CHANNEL NOW 👈 → → → CONNECT WITH ED MYLETT ON SOCIAL MEDIA: ← ← ← ▶︎ INSTAGRAM ▶︎ FACEBOOK ▶︎ LINKEDIN ▶︎ TWITTER ▶︎ WEBSITE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

  I hear so many small business owners say the exact same thing. They just never have enough time in the day. Well, I measure time differently. I've compressed, condensed, heck, I've bent time. My first day is 6:00 a.m. to noon. My second day starts at noon and goes till 6:00 p.m. And my third day, 6:00 p.m. to midnight. I now get 21 days a week. Stack that up over a month, over a year, over five years, and my life's completely different than it would have been otherwise. And if you want to win as an entrepreneur, you have to compress your time, too. And you definitely can't afford to waste it. Waiting weeks on a big bank for capital? Your best bet's to work with my friends at Cardiff. They know how to compress time for entrepreneurs. They get your business approved in minutes and funded the very same day. They're America's favorite small business lender, and for good reason.

• 0:45Ed Mylett?

  Over 20 years in business, over $12 billion deployed to small business across America. Stop letting bank delays slow down your momentum. Head to cardiff.co/ed. That's cardiff.co/ed. Cardiff.co. Real growth, fast funding. Cardiff. Borrow better.

• 1:01Speaker 01

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• 1:39Speaker 03

  This is the Ed Mylett Show.

• 1:50Ed Mylett?

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• 2:34Ed Mylett?

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• 2:58Ed Mylett?

  All right, welcome back to the program, everybody. Well, I have somebody here who's trying to sell a book. He's not sold any in his life.

• 3:06Ed Mylett?

  Only, only over 500 million books sold. The most prolific author, really in the history of this space or probably any other space. 59 prior to this book, listen to this guy, 59 New York Times bestsellers. That doesn't even sound real. Like, you come with a goat of personal development, author, speaker, incredible. And then as I've got to know Crystal a little bit, she's a life coach. She's incredible. And this book they wrote together, and I read this book in two days. And it's one of those books, I've said this before, where some books, you know, you highlight important points and you move on. The hard part with this book was there's very few spots that aren't highlighted. So it's like, it's like a bunch of yellow in this book because there's so many great points.

• 3:49Ed Mylett?

  And the book is called Ask, The Bridge From Your Dream To Your Destiny. And so Mark Victor Hansen and his beautiful wife, Crystal, join me today. Welcome you guys to the show.

• 3:59Speaker 04

  We are excited to be with you and for those of you only listening, you guys see how strong this guy is. And sometime you gotta watch him on video because I really appreciate people that have mettle, M E T T L E, the spirit within, showing without. And that's what our book Ask is about. We've literally traveled, talked to seven million people, been in 80 countries. And we discovered the difference between somebody who succeeds a little and somebody who's vastly successful is one thing only. God gave only human beings two abilities, the ability to ask and the ability to imagine. And you can't imagine unless you ask. So the path to a real fulfill life is asking. And the big guy said, ask and you shall receive. But until we got it together, nobody detailed it.

• 4:39Speaker 04

  Now we detailed it to ask yourself, ask others and ask God. Just three simple stuff that'll give you the fulfill life to get you to the destiny of your heart's desire.

• 4:48Ed Mylett?

  My gosh. So you've heard Mark's done a little public speaking in his life, guys. And he's a hero of mine. One of the great things about this show is I get to meet, you know, many of my heroes. And in this case, it's just odd that we had not met before. I should have asked frankly to have met you prior. And when I saw the title of the book, it showed up, my daughter read it first, just so you know, this book showed up at my house. It disappeared, guys. And then about three days later, I said, there's this book that's supposed to arrive. You know, this icon is coming on my show. I need to read this book. And my daughter says, I just finished it, Daddy. It's unbelievable. And she basically gave me a gigantic report on the book prior to reading it. And so all ages, by the way, everybody.

• 5:30Ed Mylett?

  And so Crystal, Mark went through right there, sort of the three asks. I'm curious because I've found in my life, I've had a lot of mentors, a lot of help, a lot of support, and I asked for it. Why do we're gonna go through some of the reasons today, but someone listening to this like, yeah, I'd like to ask, but you know, they're hesitant to ask for anything in their life. What are some of the reasons why people have such a big hesitation for just asking in their life? They'll tell you something, but they won't ask you.

• 5:57Crystal Hansen?

  Right, no, it's such a good question. And, and you know, all of us, it's funny, we come into this world as these beautiful, little, perfect, uncorrupted askers as children, right?

• 6:05Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 6:05Crystal Hansen?

  We're wildly curious, first of all, we want to know everything, we want to know who, what, when, where, why, how. And we also aren't afraid to ask for more and pretty much ask for anything we want. And then depending on how we were parented, you know, what happened in our school years, what happened in our job experience, you know, you're hurt, you're, you hear, you know, quit asking so many questions, I'm tired of hearing from you, or do not ask unless you're called on, or your, your opinion's just not valued at your work, you know, whatever it is, this, this beautiful, natural ability starts to get crushed out of us and suddenly we find ourselves standing there as full grown adults, literally terrified to ask anyone anything and, and sort of ashamed to like not already have all the answers.

• 6:49Crystal Hansen?

  And it's so sad to be in that state because there's no way any of us are, are going to have all the answers in this lifetime. We need to ask to fulfill our desk and destiny. We need to be able to ask ourselves, ask others and ask God and not be ashamed or afraid to take what we call that asking journey.

• 7:09Ed Mylett?

  I'm going to ask you a weird question about that. So I struggle with this too. In the book, you call it sort of like conditioning from our childhood. That it happens, in fact, that's exactly what you call it in the book. And that sort of happens over and over. And my audience knows that my childhood was beautiful and wonderful, loving family, but I did have an alcoholic dad who ended up getting sober for many years, became my best friend. But I was conditioned sort of not to ask a lot as a kid. Now, here I am, I'm 50 years old. You know, had some reasonable success in my life, I guess. And that's, that guy still shows up for me. In strange places, Crystal. I mean, I'll tell you that I'm willing to ask for help in business, but this is no exaggeration. That guy is so close, it's gonna sound odd. But I'm so afraid sometimes still of asking if I'm not intentional about it.

• 7:51Crystal Hansen?

  Yeah.

• 7:51Ed Mylett?

  That when we go to a restaurant and we have a reservation, I'm not kidding you. I will tell my wife, go ask them if our table's ready. She's like, babe, you're in front. I go, no, you, you ask them. It's the strangest, I mean, the, is that odd? I, I say that to comfort the audience that, you know, all of us can struggle with this from time to time, including me on small things like that. So this isn't in the book, but I wanted to ask you. Do you think you should practice asking small things like that to build the muscle almost of comfort asking for bigger things?

• 8:22Crystal Hansen?

  Absolutely, because you know, this all, this exists inside of all of us, usually at a subconscious level, until we address it, until we face it, until we read a book like Ask and realize, what are these roadblocks? Mark and I call them the seven roadblocks to asking. And that first one is just what you said, it's unworthiness. It's that subtle childhood conditioning that often we don't even know is there, that just kind of is telling us at a very subtle subconscious level that we're not enough, we're not good enough, we're a little bit ashamed, you know? And it doesn't make any sense, it's not logical, because the subconscious mind, when we build these programs, they're based on all these emotional experiences and they don't make sense. The subconscious mind doesn't filter out information, it just stores it. And so we

• 9:06Crystal Hansen?

  all have this stuff stored inside of us that is causing us to hold back, to not ask, to not wonder, to not ponder, to not step up and ask for those things that we want, those things that we're curious about, even if it's something as simple as, when is my table going to be ready? Right? But we all do that, we're afraid to ask for a better table, or a better seat on the airplane. So we just, we suffer. And there's no reason to suffer in this life. We all need to learn to ask and to get over these seven roadblocks. And we can get into any one of them more deeply, Ed. But what Mark and I found is that each one of us carries at least one, if not more of these roadblocks. And sometimes we're dealing with all of them all at once in our lives.

• 9:48Ed Mylett?

  Mark, how do you ask? I thought, I'm glad you talk about faith in God in the book, that's important to me. And this concept of asking God, how do you do that? What is that? But how's it work? I pray every night, but asking God, what do you mean when you say that? And how does one do that?

• 10:07Speaker 04

  Okay, so two parts. First, I'll do the practical. When Jack and I needed the title for Chicken Soup, we knew we had a killer book, because audiences said, that's got to be in a book. But we didn't have the right title, so we respectively, this before cell phones, went to our houses and 400 times said, mega best sign title, mega best sign title, mega best sign title. Jack calls me at 2:58 in the morning and says, Chicken Soup, I did for the soul. I got goosebumps, he got goosebumps for us. And that was corroboration of truth. We knew that we're now 144 publishers kicked us out and said, "Hit the road, Jack," and they didn't. I said, "Look, it's okay if you don't like Dr. Canfield," but I'm a really nice guy. I'm joking. Jack's wonderful and a great friend, of course. But then what we're teaching about asking is that because what Crystal said is these seven roadblocks are so cluttered

• 10:52Speaker 04

  in our mind unless you go to sleep. And the most important time the subconscious never sleeps. So to get deep in your innermost, highermost, God-centered mind, what you're going is, "God, what's your destiny for me? God, what's your destiny for me? God, what's your destiny for me?" 400 times, push back, sleep, tell your sweetiekins, "Before I go to sleep, I'm going to wake up." And if Martin and Crystal are telling the truth, I'm going to wake up and I'm going to have the answer and I'm going to have to write it down. And I gotta have paper and pen next to the bed and turn on the lights and write it up because you will not remember. You gotta do it immediately when you wake up in the middle of the damn night. And you've had that. I mean, you didn't get where you are without waking up in the middle of the night with answers. And when you ask questions, you get answered, solution, illumination, revelation, and new awareness. Has that been your experience?

• 11:37Ed Mylett?

  1 million percent. If I could just add to that. So, by the way, I should say this. Couple of those half million books was were chicken soup for the soul books, by the way, everybody. But several million of them. But so I must second what you've just said, and then I'll let you jump back in. So now I've had two of the icons that I respect the most say the same thing to me. So I want to stamp this point with everybody. You'll get a kick out of this too, guys. I won my first incentive trip for a business I was in to go to Hawaii. Running on the beach early in the morning, you get rewarded for getting up before the sun sometimes, right? There's this man, bald man, hairy, eventually runs by me, has kind of a hairy back, runs right by me in Maui. You probably know where I'm going with this.

• 12:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, I know who it is.

• 12:15Ed Mylett?

  Further, I got a Sony Walkman on and it's Wayne Dyer. Yeah. And I stop and I say, "Dr. Dyer," I'm getting chills right now. I said, "Dr. Dyer, I just wanted to thank you. You've changed my life." And he stops and he goes, How'd I do that? And I said, well, I'd love to tell you. And he walks back and guys, I got to sit on the beach for about an hour with Wayne Dyer and watch the sun come up. We went through a bunch of different things. He was writing The Power of Intention at that time. Anyway, long story short, the main takeaway I had was, he said, when the morning, when the evening wind wakes you up, don't go back to sleep. Get up and write. He goes, the key to my life has been that when I do wake up after I've asked these things, I know I'm not going to remember in the morning. I just begin to write and I've had that practice really since that time for the last 20 years

• 12:59Ed Mylett?

  of my life, exactly what you just said. So that's two now that have said it to me. It's amazing.

• 13:04Speaker 04

  Wayne and I are friends since back when he was a university professor at St. John's and, and I used to carry in his books for him and sell those books in the back and he and I spent a lot of happy hours together. We spent a lot of time with him in Maui because we've been friends for, until he passed away a year ago or so. And, and the point is, is that Wayne became prolific because of that and he kept, if you'll forgive me, and I've never, I don't have any right to say this, but I'm going to tell you what you just said is accurate. Wayne lived in the question. Socrates lived in the question. I got goosebumps telling you that. So for me, it's corroboration and truth. If somebody listening out there isn't getting goosebumps or going, Mark's out to lunch. I'm okay with that. For me and for you, it's true. You got goosebumps and we knew the Wayne story because we, every time we went to Maui,

• 13:48Speaker 04

  we'd be sitting at a restaurant and he'd be over there and I'd say, pay for that guy's dinner. And the lady said, why are you paying for his dinner? He's rich. I said, so am I, but pay for his dinner.

• 13:57Ed Mylett?

  Beautiful.

• 14:00Speaker 04

  Wayne said, what the hell are you doing praying for him? I said, because every time you come over and talk to everybody I've brought here.

• 14:06Ed Mylett?

  Oh, it's beautiful. I think it's so beautiful that he had such a role in, in both of our lives. I had no idea that that was the case and you're exactly right. He lived in the ask. It's so true. I think also, you know, curiosity is something that we lose often when, or we get further away from our childhood. When we're kids, we're willing to ask more questions because we're curious. I think as adults, we almost become punished for our curiosity sometimes. And I'm curious about asking for what you want. You said there's seven roadblocks. I want everyone to read the book, so we're not going to go through all seven, certainly. But we've talked a little bit about the childhood conditioning piece of it. That's certainly my gem for sure. That's the one that keeps showing up for me. But what would one more be that somebody should be evaluating? And we'll keep the other five for people to go get the book. But what is another one of these roadblocks?

• 14:50Crystal Hansen?

  Well, let's just talk about what you were just talking about, that child, childhood curiosity, but this, the next one is naivety. And it's, we don't know what we don't know. And we tell the story in the book, Ed, about this lovely Filipino woman who came to work when our children were little. You know, the kids are sixteen months apart. She'd make all these amazing dishes from her homeland. And one day she shows up and cuts this fruit on a plate and she goes, "Per, try this." And I bit into this juicy orange fruit. And I go, "Melda, what is this? This is the most amazing fruit I've ever tasted." And she goes, "It's a mango." And I go, "Mango? How come I've never tasted a mango? That's bizarre. I've traveled all over Europe. How did I miss the mangoes?" But you know, I realized, I'm like, I'm a girl from Idaho, grew up with a lot of potatoes, but no mangoes.

• 15:33Crystal Hansen?

  And it made me start to think, I really pondered that, like, what else am I missing in my life? Besides the greatest fruit in the world, just because I don't even know it's available to me. So I go, "Melda, where'd you get these? Did you import them from the Philippines?" She goes, "No, they're at the grocery store." And I thought, I'm walking by this every day. What else am I walking past? What person am I walking past, not even noticed, not even curious? Because I just don't know. I'm naive, right? I might be walking past the greatest advocate I've ever had, the best friend I might have, or some opportunity I'm not aware of because of that naivete. And I think we're all naive in some way. And that is one of our roadblocks to asking.

• 16:14Crystal Hansen?

  We need to look around more. We need to rekindle that childlike curiosity and wonder, wonder about that person you're walking past, wonder about that company, that opportunity, that thing that you haven't even stopped to inquire about. That's part of the magic of life, where life starts to unfold for you when you start to go back into that wondering. And I think if you read the fable of Michaela, where the book starts, right? So that's one of the places that Michaela, she starts to wonder because she's so shut down in her life. And I won't get too deep into it unless you want to talk about it.

• 16:49Ed Mylett?

  Well, I want them to read the book, but it's it to me, it's that that's the brilliance of the book. It's the beginning. It's we should talk about it a little bit, share a little bit of that story. But I want them to get it to me. There's a brilliance of the way this book is written, everybody that's so enjoyable to read, because you do get this sort of story in the beginning, then it's weaved together with the points. And when you're reading it, I love reading something and I say, that's true, that's true. That's me. I know that. And it's just there's these validations of things when you read the book. So let's talk a little bit about it. You you you go into that a little bit as far as you want to go. Because I do want them to get the book too, right?

• 17:23Crystal Hansen?

  Yeah, no, no, and it's good. I mean, so the fable, Michaela, Mark and I wanted to use a fable because we love stories. Stories are so relatable and our brain thinks in patterns. So when we can share a story that's relatable, we learn so quickly. Human beings can learn so quickly from stories. So we started, I took a lot of times we passed the writing back and forth. And I started writing this and honestly, it was like it had a life of its own. And I just took off. I had so much joy writing this. I feel like I was downloading it. The whole story, all the characters came. And I've been fortunate enough in my life to have these amazing dreams that have guided me, very spiritual dreams. So I kind of modified my own dreams a little bit. And Michaela has these dreams, right? But completely different story, of course, of course.

• 18:04Crystal Hansen?

  But just to to let the the listeners know, she Michaela starts off, she's lost everything in her life. Basically, she's lost her mother, her father, her home's been taken away by the bill collector. She's sleeping in a grove of trees. And her job every day as an indentured servant at a stone quarry is to lift heavy rocks from one place to another. And I think that's how a lot of people feel in this life right now, is that their entire life is just feels like moving heavy rocks from one place to another. And they've lost hope. And that's where Michaela was. So this this story is really every woman and every man's story. But Michaela, you know, falls into an exhausted sleep and the being comes to her

• 18:48Crystal Hansen?

  and he takes her on this journey. And I'm not going to tell everything, but The gist of it is he tells her, he shows her some really beautiful things. And he admonishes her to asking and never stop asking, and that's the key.

• 19:01Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 19:01Crystal Hansen?

  And so when she wakes up, she knows already something has shifted. Because that's, that's what happens to each of us when we have those moments, those spiritual little epiphanies. We can shift everything in a moment, absolutely everything, just with a little awareness. And so that's what happens. So she starts little by little. Michaela's life starts shifting. She starts paying attention to the words, the dreams. And by the end of Michaela's story, she is a completely different person than she was when she started. And that is what can happen to every single person listening. We all have that in us. We all have the essence of God inside of us. We all have every possibility and potential inside of us. And so

• 19:45Crystal Hansen?

  that story flowed up out of, of me from somewhere to, to really remind people, I think, of what is inside of each one of them and each one of you who's listening. And to really start to ask the questions that will reveal your next step to you.

• 20:02Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, I gotta tell you that the, the, the Michaela could have been an entire book.

• 20:07Crystal Hansen?

  Yeah.

• 20:07Ed Mylett?

  And one of the things I took from it, it's weird, you know, sometimes art is, writing to me is art. So there's teaching. This book teaches you a lot of things, but I think when something's great, it can mean different things to different people based on their life stage. And so for me, it's interesting, my takeaway was, I, I can tell when you were writing it wasn't necessarily for this purpose, but I, for me it was. And that was that my life started to change when I realized that the quality of the questions I was asking myself was directly correlated to the quality of my emotions and my life. And that I was also conditioned as a child to ask a certain sort of questions and take certain sorts of meanings away from events in my life. And those questions were on repeat. So everyone listening to this or watching it, you're already asking some questions.

• 20:52Ed Mylett?

  But to take in, to be aware, as you just said, Crystal, to take an inventory and start to ask a different question. Literally changes your life and then is your one new relationship, one new question, one new breakthrough, potentially one new emotion away from a totally different life. But if you run the same pattern of questions you're asking yourself all the time, you're going to take the same meetings away, have the same emotions and have the same life. It's just a pattern. So Mark, could you speak to that because you talked a little bit about conditioning in the brain. We can go that direction or not, but what about just being intentional with the caliber and quality of the questions you're asking yourself, not just other people?

• 21:26Speaker 04

  First of all, I love the way this seminar or Zoom call is going.

• 21:32Ed Mylett?

  It feels like a seminar. It's when you're doing a good one.

• 21:34Speaker 04

  It's a seminar in my mind. So one of the seven roadblocks is pattern paralysis. And my teachers, teacher in graduate school, my teachers, Dr. Arbuthnot, Munster, Fuller, Deidre, St. Thomas, thousands of inventions, 15 doctors at Albert, but his teacher was Albert Einstein. Albert said, look, if you keep doing the same thing and expect something new in, in German, it's your kuko, meaning you're crazy. Well, that's exactly what you just said. So what you've done with, with question only, God gave us his ability to question everything. It changes your path. It changes your life force. And, and what you said, I'm going to morph it just a little bit because some people out there hanging out by their fingernails because of COVID confinement cocoon and say, the kind of question you ask determines where your prosperity, your wealth, your riches

• 22:19Speaker 04

  is going to be. When I, 1974, when I tried to be Bucky Fuller and I can't be a good Bucky, I can be a good Marky, I can't be a good Bucky. So I boom bankrupt. I checked a book at the library, how to go bankrupt by yourself, because I asked, what if I go bankrupt? Subconscious doesn't get a dang what asked you, what question you asked, but it magnifies it back to your side, the quantity of the question, quality of the question. But now I said, well, how do I get rich? How do I get successful? How do I get prosperous? How do I be a person of influence? Because Solomon's most important line, and he was a really important guy, but Psalm 72, be an influencer of influencers, which is what your show is all about, Ed. And, and your influence is growing, which is what it's meant to it. You're meant to multiply, you're meant to expand. I mean, you've taken a 98 pound weakling and turned him into a superstar strong guy,

• 23:04Speaker 04

  but that's what you've done with your mind and your soul and your being. I hope you don't mind my teasing.

• 23:10Ed Mylett?

  I think it's important, guys, I when we like when I'm listening to the show back like in my mind, because it does feel like a seminar to me, like like kind of a masterclass, the more I'm thinking about it, the more I want to stamp this, I want you to get the book. I don't say this on the show very often, guys, this one, you know, I have authors on, I don't normally say it this firmly, because I'm I'm so convinced that we're even oftentimes oblivious to the questions. Like, for example, what question am I asking myself that causes me the fear to walk up to the hostess at the restaurant? Somewhere in there, there's this question of what is she going to think about me? Right? Is she gonna is that bizarre? Like, I'm paying for a meal. She might even know who I am when I walk up there, you know, it's but yet I still have these questions.

• 23:52Ed Mylett?

  And if you're evaluating, I've been through everything, I've listened to every show, I'm still not making a move in my life. It's probably the questions. It's the lack of questions you're willing to ask other people. And it's the questions that don't serve you that you're asking yourself, everybody. So I really want to stamp this because even in my own mind, this is a unique, yet profound truth perspective about how to change the direction of your life. It's not something most people are talking about right now. And I think the timing is perfect for all of you coming out of what we've just come out of. For example, what are the questions you need to be asking yourself? And that's what I want to go to next, so I'm going to throw it out there. If I'm trying to pivot. So I'm at a point, I'm listening to the show for whatever reason, I'm just not where I want to be physically, spiritually.

• 24:37Ed Mylett?

  Maybe I'm not in the relationship that I want. I'm I'm working for somebody, but I want to be an entrepreneur. Where do I begin on these questions? What would you recommend my starting point be in terms of asking questions?

• 24:48Crystal Hansen?

  Right, it's such it's such a great question, and everybody wants to know, like, what questions do I ask? We give a ton of questions in the book, you know, holding up the mirror questions, self intervention questions. So it's all about the question, you can reveal so much about yourself, you can reveal everything about yourself and your life.

• 25:03Ed Mylett?

  Crystal, I didn't interrupt you, can you give them, I just, I want you to keep going. Could you give them the holding up the mirror question? Just because to me, that's one of them that stood out for me, just that one, please.

• 25:14Crystal Hansen?

  Like, okay, so when you're having this emotional feeling like you were just about anything, say you're in a relationship, you know, and you think, oh, gosh, he's doing this to me because, you know, he doesn't love me enough, or blah, blah, blah, all these things. Start to look, hold up the mirror. What, what am I feeling right now? You know, in this moment? Is the information that, you know, I feel like he hates me. Well, is that information true? Right. Like what, right? So you're questioning, you're basically looking at every single thing you're feeling and experiencing and holding up in the mirror, holding up the mirror and saying, what is it about this that is causing me to feel this way? Does it have any truth? Yeah. Am I, is, am I responding in a way?

• 25:56Crystal Hansen?

  That is just programming from my old experiences? What are those experiences that seem similar to this? That I'm probably tagging on to this experience right now? Ever, I promise you, every single problem that couples have is usually that baggage from the past that we never get into, right? And so I love to tell people, so the, the ask yourself part, Ed, is that reflective journey? Okay? And there are really three um, critical phases of that. The first critical phase is where am I right now? Like whatever it is, if, whether you're dealing with your relationships, your career, even your health and fitness. It's that moment of truth. Where am I right now?

• 26:39Crystal Hansen?

  Cause you can't figure out where to go until you really start to question yourself and start to understand where you are right now, really and truly. How are you feeling? Are you happy with this thing you're doing? It, does it feel right? Does this, this career that you're doing feel like it's in alignment with you? Or this relationship, whatever it is? When you start to ask, where am I right now with this? A whole bunch of questions will open up to you, um, on, you know, sub questions. The second sort of critical phase is where do I want to be? And it's, it's striking to me as a, as a transformational life coach, how few people spend time with themselves asking these questions. Where, where do I really want to be in my life? What do I really want? And we're afraid to ask the question big enough.

• 27:19Crystal Hansen?

  So Mark and I always say, ask the question from the greatest place in your imagination, from the nth degree of your greatest imagination. Just don't ask how to get through the next day, but ask. Where do I really want to be in my ultimate state of life? Say in my career? And then imagine your greatest career? And then start asking the questions backwards. In this greatest career of my imagination, who am I talking to every day? What am I? How am I serving? What, what products? What services? How are people responding to what I'm bringing? What does that feel like? Who are my top clients? And in that way, you can literally start to engineer your perfect life backwards, but you have to take the time in the questions,

• 28:04Crystal Hansen?

  in the asking of those questions. And then the third critical phase of that is, you know, what specific action steps do I need to take to move that forward? Because so often, you know, and, and we say, get your asking journal, write down everything, because you will get illuminations. You'll get solutions. You'll get ideas. Plans will start to form. You need to write them down and, and keep asking your way forward. You need to pick up the phone and call that person that came to mind, right? Because this is all feedback from the universe, from God's perfectly divine universe. It's funny because we looked at a lot of studies when we were doing this book. And, and when you ask yourself a question, a different part of your brain lights up. And it's the part of your brain that does critical thinking. So suddenly you're asking yourself a question.

• 28:49Crystal Hansen?

  Your own brain becomes a better resource to you. But so few people get stuck in the problem and never ask their way out of it. They just see the problem and regurgitate it and regurgitate it.

• 29:02Ed Mylett?

  You're so right. I just, I'm sitting there thinking of all the applications for this wisdom that's in the book and that you guys teach. I'm, I'm thinking about it not even as an individual. If I were leading a company right now and we're in a rut, we're not moving. You said from a big place. Perhaps your job as a leader in that company was to ask a bigger and better question to your, to your leadership. What's the different question you need to be asking them? You want to change the direction of your company? Maybe you need to ask a different question of the leadership in your company, a bigger, bolder question, because they've been in this pattern of the old one. Or maybe if you want to change your family dynamic, there's a question your family's asking. You're just not conscious of it. So what's the bigger question that transforms your family into a magnificent? If you're leading a church, what's the bigger question?

• 29:47Ed Mylett?

  I'm going to ask you guys a question that I don't think you've been asked. And, and I'm curious about, I'll share mine first. But I was thinking as I was prepping even more this morning, I was really excited about today and. I was thinking, I really was, and this is confirmation of it. So for me, I did a lot of work on this many years ago, these questions I even asked me. And I wanted to find out, what is something that's always being asked in my little mind or my big mind? That I should be aware of that doesn't serve me? And I uncovered that I asked myself often as a young person, as an adult, even as a, when I became a relatively, whatever you want to call successful or wealthy person. I had this question, almost like, what do I need to worry about right now? What do I need to worry about? And I would constantly find things to worry about.

• 30:31Ed Mylett?

  I used to have this saying where I'd go, I function very well in chaos because I grew up in it. Then I realized I keep creating chaos so that I think I function well in it. And so I create this chaos by constantly asking a dominant question of what should I be worried about right now? Because as a little boy, I worried is dad coming home tonight? If he didn't come home, or if he did come home, which dad's walking through the front door? Do I need to worry it's drunk dad who's sort of, you know, stay away from him? Or is it happy dad? And this question, this conditioning you talked about earlier is a dominant question in my life. And when I started to take control of that, my life changed. I'm curious from each of you, is there a question that you evaluated for yourselves? That you used to ask yourself, maybe that didn't serve you? That you've replaced with a more intentional, bigger, better question?

• 31:17Crystal Hansen?

  Oh, boy, I know exactly the answer to that because I caught myself, you know? When you start to go through this process. So I think my question, Ed, was always like, who do I need to fix today? Right? Who do I need to fix? And I spent so much of my younger life because I started to having epiphanies and breakthroughs. I had so much awareness about how one could just completely transform your life. If you had the awareness of what's possible. But then I would see like addictions in my family. My father struggled with addiction. It wasn't as blatant as that, it was more of a hidden thing, but it still surfaces in different ways. And I love my dad, he was absolutely brilliant. But so often I was looking around to see who can I fix? How can I fix them?

• 32:02Crystal Hansen?

  And then finally I had to accept that I can't fix anyone, that they, unless and until they come to me and ask for my help and truly, truly want help in some way. But it's more about my question now is how can I hold the space of love? For them to discover and thrive, right? For them to grow, discover and thrive. How can I hold that space?

• 32:26Ed Mylett?

  Oh, I love that.

• 32:27Crystal Hansen?

  Right?

• 32:28Ed Mylett?

  Love that. I love, love, love, love that. I may steal that question from you, by the way.

• 32:32Crystal Hansen?

  Yeah, it's an important one when you're a fixer. And I think when you grow up with some dysfunction, you, you know, and you're the one who's, who's, who sees it clearly, you, you tend to be the fixer, right?

• 32:43Ed Mylett?

  You're so right. I, I know God's involved in our conversation today. When we're done, you should go check my Instagram story because just about two hours ago, I posted saying, listen, you really can't help fix somebody in their life. They have to come to their own conclusion because I have a little bit of that myself. And so, my goodness, what a, what a beautiful restatement and a much more powerful question. Mark, what about you? I'm curious.

• 33:08Speaker 04

  This is like a whole eight hour seminar, but I'm going to do it at the, at the end of our book. We ask all the biggest questions ever. And the biggest question that, that is asked by the guy who started Singularity is an MDP Harvard PhD, MIT, uh, next door is asked, what, his name's Peter G. Demandis. And Peter says, and he's a friend, but what are you going to do to positively affect one billion people in the next decade?

• 33:32Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 33:33Speaker 04

  Now, most of the people listening are going to be alive for 10 years. And you go, hey, Ed, what are you talking about? I'm going to do some, for the next decade, I'm going to affect a billion people. That's one eighth of the university. And right, I used to live in New York, so I love the New York accent. I shouldn't do that. Um, I, I still love New York. You know, it's got its own little issues right this minute. But the, the point of the matter is all of us can affect a billion people positively, or we're going to affect them negatively, or if you do nothing, that's probably going to be a negative effect. So why not choose questions that are going to be uplifting and I'm going to finish selling a billion books during this decade?

• 34:07Ed Mylett?

  Wow.

• 34:08Speaker 04

  No one else has ever done it. And by the way, I got plenty of people that say I can't just, just as a, we were on the biggest show with the Amazon bestseller list the other day. And Mark Deveraux says, you are the Roger Bannister of books. And I go, oh, wow, that's cool. Bannister in 1952 is a medical doctor, ran a four minute mile. What happened the next week? I said, Mark, Mark, I don't know. I said 119 people did it. What happened? We were physiologically no different, right? But mentally, we've broken the belief system. And what is happening now is we're breaking belief system. Shows like yours are waking up people's minds because they're saying, hey, wait a second. Maybe I didn't learn how to ask, or I just ask perfunctory questions. And what you're asking is how do I ask questions that are going to be supernatural? How do I ask questions

• 34:50Speaker 04

  that are going to get me to what our book says to your destiny? Because Chris and I believe at a soul level, everybody is coded at birth, at DNA and RNA with a destiny. No, you don't understand. I'm an engineer. I'm a garbage man. No, I'm a maig, I'm a housekeeper. All those are what you do, but not who you're becoming.

• 35:09Ed Mylett?

  Are you saying that you believe someone's born with a possibility? Is that what you're calling that destiny? This is what's possible for them? Is that what you mean when you say destiny?

• 35:17Speaker 04

  I'm going to do two things. First of all, the answer is yes, but everybody's born with infinite possibility because if your Genesis 1:8 says you're made in the image and likeness of God, so if you're made in God's stuff, you've got three Cs. You've got to create, right? Because a big guy created, so you're not supposed to create. Number two, you're here to contribute. You're not here to take the government dole. I'm a real free enterpriser. Number three is you're here to be charitable. You're here to make enough surplus, enough exit. And that's why we won the Horatio Alger Award. It means I came from rags to riches, been excessively philanthropic. And this year, we're going to help 25,000 kids, not us personally, but our association, Horatio Alger Association, get to college that are at-risk kids that didn't have a chance, that have horrific stories, and they're breakthrough kids. And what we need to do is every one of us, if we fulfill

• 36:02Speaker 04

  that destiny, whatever it is. And I mean, we're friends with, you know, guys like the top two orchestrators in the world, Quincy Jones and Ken Foster. And both guys at 13 got kicked out of school, and both guys had great music ability to orchestrate. Now, there's no test in school IQ or EQ that tests that. What happens is what we're saying is you need an MQ, a motivation potion. The only way to get to your MQ is become what we're calling a master asker. And one of the stories in our book by our friend Rita Davenport, who I hope she'll interview sometime, is you've got to get your ask in gear.

• 36:38Ed Mylett?

  I love that. I love that. So they're born with infinite possibilities. It's interesting you use the, gosh, guys, so good. You use the word creator, and I want to emphasize that for everybody's. Well, I just had a dear friend of mine on a pastor's name's Erwin McManus. And it was interesting to hear a pastor talk about that, too. And he basically said that we're all born to be creators, exactly verbatim, use the same word you just used, Mark. And I think for those of you that are sitting there listening to this, and you're saying, Hey, I am a, I am a garbage man. I, I'm, I'm a, I'm a school teacher, you know, what, what is creating about that? Or you're a creator, you can create by asking different questions. Do you know that a new question you guys creates a completely different space that didn't exist before you asked it? Just the question creates a brand new

• 37:22Ed Mylett?

  space that you can step into. I think, Crystal, people sometimes are afraid to ask this question because they feel ill prepared for the step after that. And I think one of the blessings from, but you and I know, now that we're a little further down the road, and our faith tells us, is that what we will need, what is required, will be provided once we get into that space. But do you agree with that, that there's this hesitation, if I ask this, and then Crystal decides she will mentor me or coach me, oh, now I've got, and that fear alone causes us not to want to ask the question because we feel ill prepared?

• 37:55Crystal Hansen?

  Right. People are afraid sometimes of a bigger future, because, and, and I think that's because we don't truly understand who we are, that we are really made. And it's funny, you know, even Christians, they read their Bible, but they don't believe the words on the page. And when you look at even the words of Jesus Christ, the things I, I've done, you can do, but greater than these, I mean, everybody blows past that. What, what did he just say? That we can do things that are greater than Christ? Like, no one registers that because they're too afraid. They're like, oh, oh, that's not what that meant. That's certainly not what that meant, right? But he talked about the oneness between him and the father and the oneness between us and our father. You know, so it's like there is this oneness of God. I mean, it makes sense, doesn't it?

• 38:40Crystal Hansen?

  And you know, when you look, if we're created in the Creator's image, we are God stuff, right? We don't see ourselves as that. And if we could just start asking these questions. So we ponder that and look at ourselves differently to see ourselves, who we really are. We do have unlimited potential. And so we just have to get all of our fears out of the way and our uncertainty. So that we can step into that potential because it's such a beautiful thing. I, you know, we all do have this ultimate destiny that I think we're all moving toward at any given time. But if we don't ask those questions, we can fall short of that destiny for sure. I mean, we have a lot of little, you know, we'll, we'll end up somewhere on the road, but it won't be, you know, our ultimate destiny.

• 39:25Crystal Hansen?

  And I, and Mark and I also believe that once you feel like you reach a destiny, people look at him, you know, look, Mark, or look at what we've done. Aren't you guys finished? Like, why don't you just go play more golf or something like that? We don't have to work because we know we're not done. There's some, there's more that calls us every day. We know that we need to keep contributing, keep sharing, keep growing, keep creating. There's so much more that we're creating.

• 39:49Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, to your point and Mark's second point too, is to contribute. And that's a never ending thing. I tell people all the time to ask, you know, I'm sure people ask you this too. Is I don't like when someone gets very wealthy and go, hey, getting rich won't make you happy. Well, that's a lie. I mean, I, I was, I'm, I'm much happier. I was happy, poor and happy, rich. I'm much happier, rich and

• 40:06Crystal Hansen?

  Right.

• 40:07Ed Mylett?

  Me too.

• 40:07Crystal Hansen?

  Same.

• 40:08Ed Mylett?

  I bought a nice, I got a, I bought a nice watch a while ago. It made me happy for a while. But what it, so for someone to tell you it doesn't make you happy, I can't stand when that happens. Here's what it doesn't do, doesn't fulfill you. What fulfills you is contributing and there's a huge difference between happiness and fulfillment. And you said something earlier about dreams. I just want to, I want to get into for a minute too about, I just want everyone to just consider something as you're listening to these two amazing souls. What if you really were born to do something great with your life?

• 40:34Crystal Hansen?

  Right.

• 40:35Ed Mylett?

  If you don't believe it, what if, if you don't believe it, is there a little power in you asking yourself, what if I really was born to do something great with my life in big ways and in small ways? You don't think that when Mark was helping set up those books for Dr. Dyer back in the day, that that wasn't in some small way contributing to doing something great? Now, that step, that small step, little did he know, would lead to a bigger step someday of Chicken Soup for the Soul and hundreds of millions of books sold. Both are doing something great. And so maybe you'll start today with something small, what you think is small and insignificant in greatness, that can lead to something bigger. But Crystal, you said earlier, dreams. I think questions are correlated to dreams.

• 41:20Ed Mylett?

  Now, you said you have these very clear dreams. I happen to believe our dreams aren't hallucinations sometimes. I think they're God giving us a glimpse into what is possible in our lives. Could you speak to that for a minute about how you feel about dreams and, and people being conscious of dreaming while they're awake, not just asleep?

• 41:36Crystal Hansen?

  Right, no, there's no doubt we, our brain does these, you know, sort of processing, discharging dreams. That's one type of dream.

• 41:42Ed Mylett?

  Sure.

• 41:42Crystal Hansen?

  But there are definitely these dreams, and I've had many of them, that are guiding you. And I think to the degree that you can trust God's perfect universe, the thing of it is, when you go into a dream state, you're, you're going into an altered brainwave state. So your conscious mind isn't, is no longer filtering. So that huge well of your subconscious is actually freely connecting with all of the information in God's beautiful universe. And so when you start to seek through questions and wondering and inquiry, you will start to get those answers. And honestly, I've been just so blessed to like, I, I honestly feel like I've gone to different planes and seen different things. And, and it sounds crazy that I'm saying this right here.

• 42:27Crystal Hansen?

  A lot of people would go, oh, that's, that's nuts. No one can do that. And I would probably think that too, had I not all done that sort of thing. I, I think, you know, our, our consciousness can travel, you know, it's not necessarily anchored to our body. Our, our conscious awareness goes way beyond our body. If you think about it, when we die, we still are sitting there, you know, as sort of a lump of meat with our brains, our brains still completely intact, but our brain isn't doing anything. So our brain is really just a, a, a mechanism to store information and process it. But the mind goes so far beyond the brain, right? And it goes out and connects to all that there is. So when you live in that state of wonder and inquiry and

• 43:12Crystal Hansen?

  what are the answers? And, you know, what is my greatest expression, God, for which you made me? Will you show me that? Will you reveal that to me? You know, things will start to open up to you when you expect, anticipate and wonder. It's, it's truly magical.

• 43:27Ed Mylett?

  Expect, anticipate and wonder, everybody. Cause, and by the way, I know you're not crazy because I've experienced some of that myself. And, and candidly, I want everyone to know, it's been talked about on the show before, but often off time, some of these, I don't know, you want to call them achievers, people that are fulfilling the highest expression of themselves and really pursuing it that have been on the show have shared that with me privately. And even in my own life, I'll tell you guys that for me, the power of asking great questions and dreaming while you're awake even like what's possible in my life. And then having those things become real has been one of the all time great confirmations of my faith, of my faith, that I know that there's gotta be the, my father in heaven. By the way, I'm interested, I think you guys are this way too.

• 44:10Ed Mylett?

  I'm a devout Christian. I also believe in vibration and energy and plugging into something big. I believe in all of that. And I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I believe, I just believe my God created that whole quantum field, if you want to call it that. But having said all of that, everybody, that's having said all of that, dreaming, asking a question. Having a dream, having that happen will be one of the great confirmations, not that you need it this way, but that there's something amazing at work in this life and that this life is incredible and that you were destined to do something special with your lives. And I want you to get that out of today because I didn't know we would go this direction today, yet I feel incredibly blessed that we have. And so I promised you a certain timeframe. Just so you know, I would go 14 hours with you guys today because I really believe that. But this

• 44:55Ed Mylett?

  has been the fastest 40 minutes or so we've ever done on the show. But I, so first, before we finish, come ask one more question of each of you. I want to thank you, number one, because I love meeting people that I look up to and that I admire, and then they're even better than I thought. It's just, you know, that we've all had that experience where someone we really look up to, and then you're like, oh, man, you know, and so when they, when they meet, but then when they exceed it, you know, you could tell everybody, you guys all know me pretty well from watching the show. I'm, I'm, I'm giddy right now, you know, I'm, I'm so excited about. I also want to make sure that you guys get the book. Go get Ask, go get this book. It's, it's bottom line by guys, and it's the bridge from your dreams to your destiny. And there's so many things in here that I know can make your life better. And so that's why I recommended it. It's

• 45:40Ed Mylett?

  very simple. So we've asked this sort of round and around today, but I want to give you both just one space to create here. And that is, I just ran into each of you individually at a Starbucks, let's just say. And I go, oh, my gosh, that's Crystal. Oh, my gosh, it's Mark. And you, I asked you for a minute, could I have a minute? We've all been asked that before. And you, by the way, you'll find folks that are listening, most people are good people and want to help you. Most people want to help you. Not, not every single person, but most people want to help you if you'll just ask. You're going to find that to be true. And they asked you for any advice to move forward from the space they're at now that we didn't cover yet today. I'd like each of you to give us your sort of one minute version of what that answer might be. And you're welcome

• 46:25Ed Mylett?

  to take longer if you like.

• 46:27Speaker 04

  I'll just go first and say, based in the fact that we've had the book out for a little bit, and it's literally been around the world on podcasts, we love every one of them, is that what Peter is telling us is that if they get the book and go through the book with another person that also has it, every question, they transform themselves. Because we've all been in this lockdown, this shutdown, this cocoon for now a year and a half, and some places worse, like Australia keeps paying me to break them out of it because there's too much shutdown. You can't go from province to province or state to state. So, we believe that. And then the second part to that is that, once they got it and read it, we have created AskTheBookClub.com. AskTheBookClub.com. It's free. We want to teach everyone to be a master actor because we believe our destiny is helping

• 47:12Speaker 04

  you and everyone listening to get to their destiny. And back to your question about the mirror, whole of the mirror, so if you're in Acorn right now, you become an oak tree because you learn to serve greatly with love, and that you learn that, back to Wayne Dyer's line, you're a no-limit, fully functioning, self-actualizing person. And we're going to say, you know, you're going to manifest your highest, best, most magnificent, wondrous self. Beautiful. Beautiful. Crystal?

• 47:36Crystal Hansen?

  I would just say to them that while it appears that, you know, life is just coming at you and just happening to you from some source outside of you, that is not the truth. You know, the life you're experiencing is coming from the inside out. It's always created from the inside out. So, spend that time with yourself in a very quiet place and start asking yourself the questions, start listening, start connecting with God, and start understanding that beautiful power you have inside of you to literally create your best self, you as the masterpiece, your life as a masterpiece. You can do it.

• 48:16Speaker 04

  Oh, my gosh.

• 48:18Ed Mylett?

  I don't want this to be over, but I know it has to be. And, and so guys, I just, I want to thank both of you for a magnificent experience today. For me, and I'm grateful that my audience got a chance to listen in. If you're in, and you're in the max out universe out there, you have to share this. You love somebody, you care about somebody, you need to share this with them today. If you're watching this on video, go subscribe to an audio platform because we're coming big on audio. And if you're listening to an audio, you gotta watch these as well. Get over to the YouTube channel and subscribe there. So guys, I want to thank the Hanson's for today. That was a remarkable conversation. I'm looking forward to coming seeing you in Scottsdale. And to everybody else out there, God bless you and max out.

• 49:02Speaker 03

  This is the Ed Milat Show.