Anthony Anderson

Anthony Anderson (G20, Black-ish, The Departed) is an Emmy Award-nominated actor, comedian, and television host. Anthony joins the Armchair Expert to discuss being in the Guinness Book of World Records for furthest hit golf ball with the longest usable club, why he thinks Stevie Wonder can see, and calling Lionel Richie to cash in on his long-promised dinner. Anthony and Dax talk about how it felt to grow up in the hotbed of music, movies, and culture, both being called for availability by SNL only to be ghosted, and realizing that he still hasn’t really processed the death of his father. Anthony explains all the serendipity surrounding his return to Howard University, the epic story of defeating Michael Jordan in dominoes, and being handpicked to star alongside EGOT Viola Davis in his new action thriller. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ http://www.wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ now. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Dax Shepard?

  Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepard. I'm joined by Monica Padman.

• 0:05Speaker 01

  Hi.

• 0:05Dax Shepard?

  And Erin Michael-Weekley.

• 0:07Speaker 02

  Hello.

• 0:07Dax Shepard?

  Today, our guest, alliteration, Monica.

• 0:10Speaker 01

  We love alliteration. I do.

• 0:12Dax Shepard?

  Anthony Anderson, with a cute nickname, Ant.

• 0:17Speaker 01

  Ant is a cute nickname.

• 0:18Dax Shepard?

  Goes by Ant, Emmy nominated actor.

• 0:20Speaker 02

  I was watching his Law and Order years on the plane ride here.

• 0:23Dax Shepard?

  Oh, in the way here.

• 0:24Speaker 01

  Oh, gosh. Ding ding ding.

• 0:26Dax Shepard?

  Of course, Blackish, Kangaroo Jack, Romeo Must Die, Barbershop, Scary Movie 3. He has a new movie on Prime Video right now with Viola Davis.

• 0:37Speaker 01

  Mmm.

• 0:37Dax Shepard?

  Called G20.

• 0:39Speaker 01

  I love her.

• 0:40Dax Shepard?

  Yes. Incredible kiss and Homelander.

• 0:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:44Dax Shepard?

  Tony Stark. Please enjoy Ant Anderson. We get support from Quince.

• 0:50Speaker 01

  Okay, can we talk about the fact that the holidays are already here? It's crazy. I feel like I blinked and now we're in gifting season, which I'm not really mad about because I do love giving gifts. And Quince is making it so easy to find something great for everyone on my list, including myself, because let's be honest, self-gifting is a love language.

• 1:10Dax Shepard?

  Quince is seriously the gift that keeps on giving. Their high-quality staples are made with premium materials like 100% Mongolian cashmere, 14-karat gold, and Italian leather. Full-on luxury quality at prices that won't wreck your holiday budget.

• 1:26Speaker 01

  It's the dream. The cashmere sweater, starting at $60, down jackets, wool outerwear, cashmere accessories. You and everyone on your list are staying cozy and looking incredible all season long.

• 1:37Dax Shepard?

  Well, I'm gonna tell you this, it just got chilly for the first time this year in California, and I'm so excited. And I'm wearing my Quince cashmere right now.

• 1:44Speaker 01

  It's great.

• 1:45Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and I am going to gift this to some of my friends. I hope they're not listening.

• 1:49Speaker 01

  Quince is also more than clothing. They've got fine jewelry for your significant other, leather bags for your bestie, hotel-quality bedding to set up your guest rooms, chef-grade cookware. That's an amazing thing they offer here. And it's such a good gift because people don't like buying cookware for themselves, but it's very important. And they also have five-star luggage, another good gift. Gift that people don't like buying for themselves.

• 2:11Dax Shepard?

  Give the gift of quality this holiday season. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Armchair Expert. It's the best way to support the show. We get support from Gusto. So here's the thing about running a small business that nobody romanticizes. It's not the big idea that wears you down. It's the payroll, the tax filings, the wait, do I need workers comp for this stuff? That's the part that quietly eats away your whole afternoon, which is where Gusto comes in. Gusto is online payroll and benefits software built for small businesses.

• 2:56Dax Shepard?

  It's all in one, remote friendly and incredibly easy to use so you can pay onboard and support your team from anywhere. They handle automatic tax filing, direct deposits, health benefits, 401k, all of it. And you get unlimited payroll runs for one monthly price. No hidden fees, no surprises. If something tricky comes up, you've got direct access to certified HR experts who actually know what they're talking about. And they're ranked number one on G2's highest satisfaction products list for 2026 and trusted by over 500,000 small businesses. That's not nothing. Try Gusto today at gusto.com/dax and get three months free when you run your first payroll. That's three months of free payroll at gusto.com/dax. Again, that's gusto.com/dax.

• 4:03Speaker 03

  No, motherfucker, you didn't do pushups before the Before the charity event.

• 4:08Dax Shepard?

  Before the charity event, yeah. I try not to be swole at charity events.

• 4:12Speaker 01

  That's fair.

• 4:12Dax Shepard?

  It's not a good look.

• 4:13Speaker 03

  Hey, what's up, son?

• 4:14Dax Shepard?

  Loosen up your rotator cuff.

• 4:16Speaker 03

  Nathan and I are in the Guinness Book of World Records. I'm in there twice.

• 4:20Dax Shepard?

  Twice?

• 4:21Speaker 03

  And you're in there, well, how many, just one time, son? Only one, not anymore, I'm not, I don't, I'm out.

• 4:25Dax Shepard?

  And now recently out.

• 4:27Speaker 03

  Oh, you don't even have it anymore, that's right, you've been removed. I'm sorry. All right, I gotta go. I'll let you later, man.

• 4:32Speaker 01

  Oh, wow, wait, what are your records?

• 4:34Dax Shepard?

  Well, that's as good as places any to start. What world records do you hold?

• 4:36Speaker 03

  I hit a golf ball the furthest with the longest usable golf club in the world. Thirty-six feet and one inch was the length of the club.

• 4:47Dax Shepard?

  Okay, just to put that in perspective, Monica. You know the gray trailer sitting over there?

• 4:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:51Dax Shepard?

  That's twenty-six foot. So ten feet longer than that trailer was the club he was using.

• 4:55Speaker 01

  What?

• 4:55Dax Shepard?

  Did you have to have something in the middle for pivot?

• 4:57Speaker 03

  No, it was on a podium.

• 4:58Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 4:59Speaker 03

  Because you can't stand, the podium wasn't much higher than this table, so I had to stand up on that. I had to rotate, and you can't fucking, thirty fucking six feet long, you can't hang none of this shit.

• 5:08Dax Shepard?

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 5:09Speaker 03

  I had to be a control shit and smack the ball. I forget what the record was for distance, but I outdrove it. Not that it drove far, it was a couple hundred feet.

• 5:18Dax Shepard?

  That's pretty good. I was expecting like forty feet.

• 5:21Speaker 03

  Oh, no, no, no, much longer.

• 5:22Dax Shepard?

  Couple hundred feet.

• 5:23Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 5:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, be careful, because people could check this.

• 5:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's in the book, so maybe not a couple hundred feet, but it was far.

• 5:28Dax Shepard?

  Okay, how did you find yourself in this position? Is this something you completely orchestrated on your own?

• 5:33Speaker 03

  No, I was invited to do it. So if you go to Topgolf right now, they played a video on Topgolf, it's been playing there for years. Because I did it at a Topgolf in Vegas.

• 5:40Dax Shepard?

  Okay, great.

• 5:41Speaker 03

  I forget who invited me or how I got involved with it, but they asked me to come down and do it. And I was like, yeah, so I got a couple of sprays, swigged it, and whacked the motherfucker. And then when I hit it and broke the record, they had a fucking marching band come out.

• 5:56Dax Shepard?

  Oh, you're kidding?

• 5:57Speaker 03

  That I had no idea was happening. It was like, he broke the record, and it's whole marching band, like fifty or sixty people with instruments.

• 6:05Dax Shepard?

  Wow. Now, my question is.

• 6:07Speaker 01

  I have so many.

• 6:07Dax Shepard?

  Me too. Are people sitting around thinking like, okay, how about? This here's a world record thirty six foot golf club. Who's imagining this?

• 6:14Speaker 01

  Maybe they're going through the book and saying, I could do this.

• 6:16Speaker 03

  After that, I felt compelled to make a show.

• 6:20Dax Shepard?

  Once the marching band came out?

• 6:21Speaker 03

  After the record, after I did it and they did all this shit. And then my son, as you heard on the call, Nathan was in the Guinness Book of World Records for putting on the most T-shirts in thirty seconds. They had Guinness Book come up to a school and I don't know what the record was, but my son beat it.

• 6:38Dax Shepard?

  How many did he put on? What if it was like?

• 6:39Speaker 03

  Twenty seven thirty. It was almost one a second.

• 6:42Dax Shepard?

  And I gotta imagine, once you're wearing thirty T-shirts, it's gotta be getting up around his face.

• 6:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:46Dax Shepard?

  The T-shirts would have to be getting progressively larger.

• 6:48Speaker 01

  You start it small and go to large.

• 6:50Speaker 03

  And that's part of the thing, because it's getting bigger, but the shirt is still staying the same size.

• 6:54Dax Shepard?

  That's an added layer.

• 6:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:55Speaker 01

  And then is there a regulation? Like, it has to be Hanes? Because what if you get the thinnest material?

• 7:00Speaker 03

  Stretchiest. That I don't know. But the thing with Nathan's record is it wasn't published. Not all Guinness Book of World Records are published in the book. You get a certificate and it says, say, you broke this record. This is your record. So that's what he has. One of my records is published in the book. The Golf Swing Club is published in the Guinness Book of World Records.

• 7:19Dax Shepard?

  Were they doing that in Compton? When you were a kid, were you just studying?

• 7:23Speaker 03

  Were they playing golf in Compton?

• 7:24Dax Shepard?

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 7:24Speaker 03

  You saw a black dude with a golf club in Compton, you went the other way.

• 7:27Dax Shepard?

  Sure, sure, sure. No, were you studying the Guinness Book of World Record? Because in elementary school, I was obsessed with it.

• 7:33Speaker 03

  That was one of the books as a kid, you just went to, it's like, one day I'm gonna do this. How can I do this?

• 7:37Dax Shepard?

  The tallest guy, I'm gonna see the tallest guy. Like, you and I probably have the same image of the heaviest twins. And they were on those little Honda mopeds together in that photo.

• 7:46Speaker 03

  You could barely see the moped. You couldn't even see it. It was all, what's the between?

• 7:49Dax Shepard?

  It implied there was a moped under that.

• 7:51Speaker 03

  I remember that.

• 7:53Dax Shepard?

  It's such a memorable photo. And then the fingernails, you look up the fingernails. Ooh. So you're in that.

• 7:58Speaker 01

  What's the second one? We gotta know.

• 8:00Speaker 03

  Me and Darius Rucker, I was shooting a show and we were doing something and we were attempting two other records. We're trying to break a record of building this sandwich. We didn't get that one.

• 8:14Speaker 03

  And the other one was most hugs.

• 8:18Speaker 01

  Oh, I love that.

• 8:19Speaker 03

  So we broke the record for most hugs in a minute. It was just some simple stuff. You just had to tap your hand, embrace and release.

• 8:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 8:26Speaker 03

  Darius and I had that record.

• 8:28Dax Shepard?

  Crazy.

• 8:28Speaker 03

  It did. And we did that in the park. We attempted three, but we got the record for most hugs in a minute. That one isn't published in the book.

• 8:37Dax Shepard?

  Okay, probably homophobia. They want to keep that out.

• 8:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're right.

• 8:41Dax Shepard?

  They're historically very homophobic.

• 8:43Speaker 03

  We should have been in the record anyway for just most hugs completed by two black men.

• 8:48Speaker 03

  Or a black man and a black ish man. Take a think on which one is which. I love this. You guys can see it straight into the interview. I thought we were just having a conversation.

• 8:55Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. Now we're always recording.

• 8:58Speaker 03

  It was just like, wow, I love it.

• 8:59Dax Shepard?

  ABR.

• 9:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:01Dax Shepard?

  Always be recording. You and I have to occasionally, I'm sure, approve bios, right? Like, you're gonna go somewhere and then they send you a thing. Here's what we're gonna read before you come out.

• 9:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:09Dax Shepard?

  The next time you're on Kimmel, what they should say is world record holder, Anthony Anderson, when you come out. Cause that's so much more impressive than actor, producer, or any of that.

• 9:18Speaker 03

  I think I should do that.

• 9:19Dax Shepard?

  And then just let people imagine what it is.

• 9:22Speaker 03

  Not even get into it, just be Guinness Book World Record Holder.

• 9:25Dax Shepard?

  Yes. And when I describe you to people, I'm like, you know, my friend Anne, he's a world record holder. He also acts.

• 9:29Speaker 01

  Two time, can you put two time world record holder?

• 9:31Dax Shepard?

  World Record Holder. Shit, by now he might have three or four. This guy's picking them up.

• 9:35Speaker 03

  I started to tell you, I was trying to develop a show. What I wanted to do was take my son, since we're both Guinness Book World Record holders.

• 9:43Dax Shepard?

  Competitors.

• 9:43Speaker 03

  And try to break as many records as we can as father, son. I wanted to enter the book that way, but there's some guys in there and one father, son, they pull fucking fire trucks.

• 9:55Dax Shepard?

  Ooh.

• 9:56Speaker 03

  Me and my son can't do that.

• 9:57Dax Shepard?

  You're not gonna get that record. Are those guys Scandinavian? Are they like from Iceland or something?

• 10:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, but this father, son, they're in the book for multiple records.

• 10:05Dax Shepard?

  Like Magnus von Magnus and Framden Magnus?

• 10:08Speaker 03

  And so I was like, I want to do that.

• 10:09Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so you and I were recently together, which was really fun.

• 10:13Speaker 03

  I mean, don't say it like that.

• 10:14Dax Shepard?

  No, I'm gonna leave it just like that, just like the world record.

• 10:16Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 10:16Dax Shepard?

  We were recently together.

• 10:17Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 10:18Dax Shepard?

  Moving on.

• 10:18Speaker 03

  Great time.

• 10:19Dax Shepard?

  We, among some other people, went to Vegas because Kimmel was being. Honored and we were on an airplane together. We were shooting the shit.

• 10:26Speaker 03

  Not just an airplane. We were on a PJ.

• 10:28Dax Shepard?

  We were on a private jet.

• 10:29Speaker 03

  They need to know, we just weren't flying Southwest.

• 10:31Dax Shepard?

  That's a good look for you. It's not a good look for me.

• 10:33Speaker 03

  Why isn't that a good look for you?

• 10:34Dax Shepard?

  I'll tell you, and I say this all the time on here. When black people are showing wealth, I'm like, fuck yeah. It was impossible for you to get it. It fucking let it, let it rip. I don't mind at all. When I see a white kid driving a Lamborghini, I'm like, come on.

• 10:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, but it's a flex that we could all use, man. It's not JetBlue.

• 10:56Speaker 03

  Or the other ones.

• 10:57Dax Shepard?

  It was a private jet. But would you agree, there's a difference? No one's gonna be rooting for me to be on a private jet, nor should they.

• 11:04Speaker 03

  I root for you.

• 11:05Dax Shepard?

  Cause we know each other and you know, I'm from the fucking bowels of hillbilly country, Michigan.

• 11:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, come on, baby. Yeah.

• 11:11Dax Shepard?

  Okay. So we're on this flight and we're talking about gambling and I already know that you gamble.

• 11:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:16Dax Shepard?

  I'm fixing to gamble when we're there. We have a little two hour break. And then you're like, let's play together. And I don't know if I was very forthcoming in the moment, but I was starting to get really fearful that we were gonna sit down and you were gonna be playing like 2,000 a hand. And I was gonna be playing like 25.

• 11:32Speaker 03

  Right, right, right.

• 11:33Dax Shepard?

  Feeling emasculated. And you go, we should play. And I'm like, yes.

• 11:36Speaker 03

  You did jump at the opportunity to do it.

• 11:38Dax Shepard?

  But in my mind, I'm like, oh, I'm gonna feel like such a clown.

• 11:41Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 11:41Dax Shepard?

  Playing next to you. Thank God you decided to take a nap.

• 11:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, I did.

• 11:45Dax Shepard?

  Is what happened when we got there.

• 11:46Speaker 03

  And you went to the table?

• 11:47Dax Shepard?

  I went to the table and Kristen and I just gave it to him straight in the heiny. $225 we won.

• 11:53Speaker 03

  $225 bucks, man. Anytime you can leave Vegas with their money, that's a win.

• 11:56Dax Shepard?

  That's a big win.

• 11:57Speaker 01

  But were you right? Would it have been a big massive leap of?

• 12:01Speaker 03

  No, you know what?

• 12:02Dax Shepard?

  Would you have been like, not this table?

• 12:03Speaker 03

  We were just there for fun. So it would have been fun for us. So we would have been paying in gen pop. We would have been paying at the little $10, $25 table. I can't go lower than $25. Right. I would sit at the $25 table and we would have had a great time. When you put in the corner out there every time you bet, you know, it's like, mm, I gotta play this right.

• 12:20Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 12:20Speaker 03

  So yeah, we would have had a great time.

• 12:22Dax Shepard?

  Okay. Now let's talk about the event itself.

• 12:24Speaker 03

  Yes. Power of love.

• 12:25Dax Shepard?

  Good memory.

• 12:26Speaker 03

  I've done it twice before. Once was for Smokey Robinson.

• 12:29Dax Shepard?

  Oh, he was honored.

• 12:31Speaker 03

  And honored Lionel Richie.

• 12:33Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, great time.

• 12:34Dax Shepard?

  I have one really good Lionel Richie story.

• 12:36Speaker 03

  What's that?

• 12:37Dax Shepard?

  It's not even really good. It's just, I met him and it was so exciting. We were flying back from Nashville. We had been promoting a movie at Bonnaroo, that music festival.

• 12:44Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 12:44Dax Shepard?

  And then Lionel Richie was there performing. And so we get on the airplane and we're like four rows behind him. And I say to Kristen, I'm like, oh, my God, Lionel Richie's over there. And we're like peeping and everything. And then we get distracted and then life carries on. And then all of a sudden I look up and he's standing there. And he goes, hi, I'm Lionel Richie. And I go, oh, my God, I know you're Lionel Richie. We love you. We're chatting, chatting, chatting. And I said, Lionel, I know what your best song is. And he said, what is that? And I said, this is your life. And he goes, I think that is my best song.

• 13:15Dax Shepard?

  Was he drunk? And then he left. And I'm like, this is so great. He does not think that's his best song.

• 13:20Speaker 01

  He's just being so nice.

• 13:21Speaker 03

  So he just happened to be wandering down the aisle and stopped at you and Kristen's seats and said, hi, I'm Lionel, not Lionel.

• 13:28Speaker 01

  I know.

• 13:28Dax Shepard?

  Lionel Richie.

• 13:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, Lionel Richie.

• 13:30Dax Shepard?

  Well, I think he probably saw us when we got on, but we assumed he doesn't know who we are.

• 13:34Speaker 03

  Yes, yes, yes, yes.

• 13:35Dax Shepard?

  And then I guess he just decided, fuck if I know. But that happened and that was very exciting. Are you friends with him?

• 13:40Speaker 03

  I am. Lionel's cool. So Lionel, if you're listening to this podcast, which I know you're probably not, but by a chance, if you are, I'm still waiting on my dinner at your house. I've gone through two girlfriends and a marriage of 23 years. And I have yet to be at the dinner at your home that you've invited me and my wife and two of my girlfriends to.

• 13:59Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, let's sort that out.

• 14:01Speaker 01

  It's a long game.

• 14:02Speaker 03

  Lionel's a great guy.

• 14:03Dax Shepard?

  I do imagine his house being a very special situation. When you bought a house in Bella in the eighties, it's its own thing.

• 14:10Speaker 03

  Yes. When I play golf at LA Country Club as a guest, not as a member.

• 14:15Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 14:16Speaker 03

  You can see Lionel's house from the fourth hole, fifth hole, or something like that. So every time I go by his house, I hit a ball in the backyard. And I'm like, motherfucker, I want my dinner. But to see his home, just see the backyard. It's in layers.

• 14:31Dax Shepard?

  Oh, good for him.

• 14:33Speaker 03

  At least three different layers, but I want to count four.

• 14:36Dax Shepard?

  It's terrace.

• 14:37Speaker 03

  But not just the width of this table. I'm talking about park-like terraces cascades down. I'm like, God damn Lionel.

• 14:44Dax Shepard?

  Good for him. This is your life.

• 14:46Speaker 03

  And I hear that he has, I don't know how true this is. I started talking to him about it one day, but we never finished the conversation. He built a room in his home to replicate the room that he originally wrote his music in. And he was at Tuskegee and all that, the early days of the Commodores where he wrote the music and old record players and records and shit that was around him in that space when he was being a creator. Yeah, I started talking to him about that. He started to give the answer and then something happened and we both got distracted. But, you know, I'm going to call him.

• 15:18Speaker 01

  Are we doing a real time call? I would love it.

• 15:20Speaker 03

  Let's call Lionel Richie right now.

• 15:21Dax Shepard?

  Ask him what his best song is.

• 15:23Speaker 03

  Okay. If he picks up, he never picks up, but he always responds. So I text him, I said, Lionel, please pick up. We need you. Oh, it's the third ring. He's not picking up.

• 15:33Speaker 04

  Your call has been forwarded to voicemail. The person you're trying to reach is not available. When you have finished recording, you may hang up.

• 15:40Speaker 03

  Hey Lionel, it's Anthony Anderson. I'm here with Dax Shepard and Monica. I'm doing a podcast and I was hoping that you would pick up the phone because we're here talking about you. You met Dax on a plane with his wife Kristen and you walked up and said, hi, I'm Lionel Richie. Dax said that.

• 15:55Dax Shepard?

  Very memorable.

• 15:56Speaker 03

  He knows what your favorite song was and it was.

• 15:58Dax Shepard?

  This is your life.

• 15:59Speaker 03

  Is This Is Your Life really your favorite song? Or is that what you just told him? And secondly, I was telling him that word on the street is that you have a replica room of when you wrote your greatest hits when you were younger at Tuskegee and all of that. And I told him how we were starting this conversation and I asked that question and then we got distracted. So you never answered it. So please call me back and answer it. I promise to put you on the air.

• 16:23Dax Shepard?

  And invite our friend.

• 16:24Speaker 01

  Get Anthony to dinner.

• 16:26Speaker 03

  And the dinner that you promised me and my ex-wife, me and my ex-girlfriend and me and my ex-ex-girlfriend. That's three relationships that I've gone through, still waiting on dinner Lionel. Call me back. Bye.

• 16:39Speaker 01

  Oh, if he calls back in the middle of this.

• 16:40Dax Shepard?

  Oh, make sure your ringer's on.

• 16:42Speaker 03

  I'm going to send him a text that says, call me.

• 16:45Dax Shepard?

  I tell him I've been in a bad accident.

• 16:47Speaker 01

  He's gonna think there's a huge emergency.

• 16:49Dax Shepard?

  Call me, please.

• 16:52Speaker 03

  Put the please on yours.

• 16:54Dax Shepard?

  Oh no, I'm scared. He's gonna drop every, what is it?

• 17:00Dax Shepard?

  I've just left surgery.

• 17:04Dax Shepard?

  Did you watch that Greatest Night in Pop doc?

• 17:07Speaker 03

  It's the documentary about them coming together to, was it We Are The World? Oh, We Are The World. Yes, I've seen that.

• 17:12Dax Shepard?

  Isn't that incredible?

• 17:13Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 17:14Dax Shepard?

  Cause Lionel's incredible. Everyone's incredible. Darryl Hall's incredible.

• 17:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:18Dax Shepard?

  And then Michael sings and you're like, fuck, among all these people, there's one person's actually like 20% better.

• 17:25Speaker 03

  Not to mention any names, if you saw the doc, you really know how horrible some of them sounded.

• 17:30Dax Shepard?

  Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. How about when Stevie had to do Bob Dylan in his Bob Dylan voice, so Bob knew how to sing?

• 17:38Speaker 03

  That was the crazy part, man.

• 17:39Dax Shepard?

  I thought he was Bob singing.

• 17:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, no.

• 17:41Dax Shepard?

  Stevie Wonder also genius among geniuses.

• 17:44Speaker 03

  Okay, so let's talk about this. Stevie Wonder can see.

• 17:47Dax Shepard?

  Oh, this is a big rumor.

• 17:49Speaker 01

  Can see?

• 17:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, Stevie Wonder can see.

• 17:52Dax Shepard?

  Okay, hold on, hold on.

• 17:53Speaker 01

  We need to know your proof.

• 17:54Dax Shepard?

  I need to go deep into that.

• 17:55Speaker 03

  Stevie Wonder can see.

• 17:55Dax Shepard?

  Here's what I've seen. I'm sure you've seen him. I've seen some videos. There are a lot of people that believe he can. And there's a couple of moments on stage where like a mic stand falls and he catches it.

• 18:03Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 18:04Dax Shepard?

  Yes, okay. Tell me why.

• 18:06Speaker 03

  I've known Stevie for years.

• 18:07Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 18:09Speaker 03

  I've hung out with Stevie. We've partied together, just concerts.

• 18:14Dax Shepard?

  What if you said played darts together?

• 18:16Speaker 03

  No, no. This is a little thing that we would always do every time we saw each other. Stevie would be talking to you. Next thing you know, he'd grab you and slit your throat. Like, how did he know where my throat was? You know what I'm saying? So he'd take his finger, like he had a blade and slit your throat and he's like, I got you motherfucker. I was like, okay, that's cool. You're in close proximity. You're talking to somebody. You get their height. You've been around them a while. That's cool.

• 18:36Dax Shepard?

  Your ears are echolocating the distance of their mouth.

• 18:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, so all that. I get all that orientation. That's something.

• 18:42Dax Shepard?

  That's on the up and up.

• 18:43Speaker 03

  So, we are at a jazz festival that I believe Stevie is producing in Trinidad. So we get there. Let me back up just because, hold on, let me see if that's Lionel. My mama, she can wait.

• 18:56Dax Shepard?

  Doris.

• 18:56Speaker 03

  So, yeah, this is another flex. Stevie says, hey, man, would you come over here to this jazz festival I'm doing? I'm like, OK, cool. Meet me at the airport. So we get at the airport. It's Stevie, Natalie Cole.

• 19:06Dax Shepard?

  Oh, Jennifer.

• 19:07Speaker 03

  Whitney Houston.

• 19:08Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my God.

• 19:09Speaker 03

  Johnny Gill, myself, Gabrielle Union, Derek Luke, couple of other people. So we're taking off and Stevie says, oh, don't forget, we got to stop in Atlanta and pick up Chris. Like, all right, so we stop in Atlanta and we pick up Chris Tucker.

• 19:25Dax Shepard?

  What year is this?

• 19:26Speaker 03

  This is fifteen, twenty years ago.

• 19:28Dax Shepard?

  Oh, OK.

• 19:29Speaker 03

  And so we land in Trinidad, Tobago. This will date it. When did The Police get back together as a band for that last tour after not being a band for like twenty some odd years or whatever? Whatever year that was.

• 19:43Dax Shepard?

  OK, I think they tried it a few times and I think it never works.

• 19:47Speaker 03

  This was that last big tour that they had and this was their first show coming together.

• 19:52Dax Shepard?

  Was gonna be at this jazz festival?

• 19:53Speaker 03

  It was at this jazz festival.

• 19:54Dax Shepard?

  Oh, cool.

• 19:55Speaker 03

  So it was just a regular jazz festival with all these other performers. Patti LaBelle, Natalie Cole, Johnny Gill, all these performed. And then the night, we all went in the audience to watch The Police.

• 20:07Dax Shepard?

  Come on, the Stuart Copeland playing drums.

• 20:09Speaker 03

  Yes, The Police. But before that, all these other people were performing. Johnny Gill is onstage performing. Chris Tucker and I get onstage and we become his background dancers. And the crowd is packed because they're here to see that on top of The Police. So you can just imagine how big this crowd was.

• 20:27Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 20:27Speaker 03

  Dougie Fresh grabs the mic. He gets the crowd in the frenzy and all this before somebody else gets onstage. I end up on stage right. Stage left is over here and it's a musical stage with huge bands. So just imagine how large the stage is and all the equipment that's onstage.

• 20:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 20:45Speaker 03

  I'm the furthest away from stage left on stage right. And Stevie Wonder, I see out of the corner of my eye, starts walking onstage. Because Stevie Wonder wants to be a part of what's going on onstage. I was like, oh, shit, Stevie's about to get down. This motherfucker walks from stage left through instruments, through chords, through cables, through foot pedals, through everything, walks to me.

• 21:11Dax Shepard?

  Now, a hundred and fifty feet.

• 21:13Speaker 03

  Looks me in my eye. And says, Anthony, get me to a piano. Oh, I'm like, what the fuck?

• 21:20Dax Shepard?

  Hold on, how could he not find the piano?

• 21:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know.

• 21:23Speaker 03

  He walked past the piano. Dougie Fresh is beatboxing. Chris Tucker is dancing. Johnny Gill is singing. There's a party going on stage. The fucking stagehands and grips. Stevie walks through the maze of everything and walks directly to me and looks me dead in my eyes this close.

• 21:43Dax Shepard?

  Well, he's wearing sunglasses though now.

• 21:44Speaker 03

  Yes, he is. And says, Anthony, get me to a piano.

• 21:48Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my goodness. This is compelling.

• 21:50Speaker 03

  And I was like, Steve, you just walked past the fucking piano. But okay. And I walk him to the piano, that center of stage that he walked and didn't even touch. Walked around.

• 22:00Dax Shepard?

  Okay, Monica.

• 22:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, this is compelling.

• 22:03Dax Shepard?

  This is tough. Now, let me ask you this, though, because then I have to go straight to what would be the motive? Let's try this case.

• 22:09Speaker 03

  He's been living a life for so long that he doesn't want to know.

• 22:12Dax Shepard?

  You're a great magician where you gotta live the routine.

• 22:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:15Dax Shepard?

  Do you think his feelings would be hurt as your friend? Knowing that you think he's able sighted?

• 22:20Speaker 03

  No, we talk about it and we laugh about it all the time. Like, I'll send him text messages. It's like, I know you saw my text message, man. Call me back.

• 22:28Speaker 01

  It could be a smell thing.

• 22:30Speaker 03

  I hear you on that. You know, say that. He's 100.

• 22:33Dax Shepard?

  So many smells. Dude, people are dancing.

• 22:36Speaker 03

  It's Jamaica. You know how much weed was being smoked in Trinidad and Tobago?

• 22:40Speaker 01

  Maybe that's part of it. It's like, I know to get a rap. I mean, we just don't know. Don't they say that the other senses get so strong?

• 22:48Speaker 03

  Really? He didn't want to ask Chris Tucker to take him to the piano. He passed him first. He couldn't ask Johnny Gill because Johnny was still singing.

• 22:54Dax Shepard?

  He might have geotagged you somehow. He put a little something on you on the airplane. He's like, you're gonna be my anchor. I'm gonna find you. Okay, here's our really funny one. Friend of ours worked at Houston's, our favorite restaurant. Stevie Wonder comes in with like five, six friends. And the two funny things about it is all the tables are obviously numbered for the servers, right?

• 23:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:14Dax Shepard?

  So one of the servers says to the runner, hey, drop this at Stevie Wonder's table. And the runner says, what number? And he said, number Stevie Wonder.

• 23:25Speaker 03

  Right, right.

• 23:26Dax Shepard?

  So just go find him.

• 23:30Dax Shepard?

  And then, and this could be an exaggeration. The friends were holding up their drinks and pointing another round, but they would never say it out loud.

• 23:38Speaker 03

  Oh. Stevie and my mother were getting slushed at dinner.

• 23:44Speaker 01

  And he's paying.

• 23:45Dax Shepard?

  Taking him to the cleaners. Yeah, another one of these, but they were not saying anything. So he wouldn't know. They were drinking $400.

• 23:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:55Speaker 03

  What's the bill? I got it. Don't worry about it. What's the numbers, y'all? Oh, it's not bad, Stevie. But there've been sightings, you know, Shaq tell stories, Eddie Murphy tell stories how they've seen Stevie wonder driving cars. And shit like that. I've seen Stevie walk through landmines and come to me.

• 24:13Speaker 01

  That is wild.

• 24:14Speaker 03

  Look, as I tell the stories, like, yeah, Eddie and Shaq said they seen him drive cars. He'd be like, yeah, it's crazy. I saw the man walk through landmines and get to me. So I was like, anything's possible.

• 24:22Dax Shepard?

  I wouldn't care if the whole thing was a ruse. I wouldn't feel deceived. And also, if you think about it, it's an incredibly useful thing to say you have because you never have to remember what anyone looks like. There's just so much shit you would get out of.

• 24:37Speaker 03

  But man, that takes some commitment.

• 24:38Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 24:40Dax Shepard?

  Yes, next level.

• 24:41Speaker 03

  And then, Stevie, I love you. If you're listening to this, because I know you're not watching the podcast, but if you're listening to the podcast.

• 24:47Speaker 01

  I think he is watching. Maybe is what you're saying.

• 24:50Speaker 03

  If Stevie could see, he wouldn't have made some of those fashion choices that he's made over the years.

• 24:54Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so that's the other.

• 24:56Speaker 01

  Okay, that's evidence for the other side.

• 24:58Speaker 03

  That, and he wouldn't have kept getting those braids with his hair receding the way that it was. Stevie would have saw that and be like, yo, what the fuck y'all doing to my line? Y'all pushing my hairline back. I got Kyle late tonight.

• 25:07Dax Shepard?

  Okay, I do want to go back to Compton, to childhood.

• 25:12Speaker 03

  Oh, let's go.

• 25:13Dax Shepard?

  Were of similar age. And when I was growing up, all the music was coming from there that I loved. The movies I loved at that moment were coming from there. And you were living there. So a couple of questions. What was it like growing up there? And then also, I just trying to imagine my hometown being the source of all these great movies, all this great music. What that felt like to be there? And was there some disconnect of, oh, yeah, everyone's into this. It's on TV, but it's not a party here.

• 25:41Speaker 03

  Oh, it's a combination of all that. You know, I'll start with the latter first. It's not a party or celebrated the way that people were digesting it or enjoying it, but it was my reality. So the shit that. You saw and the things that people were entertained by the music, the culture, the movies that were in and about Compton. It was also about these places around the country as well, but it was centered here. It was crazy, man. You know, I wasn't affiliated with any gangs, but you're affiliated by association. You're affiliated because it's the block that you live.

• 26:10Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I was gonna say your neighborhood probably plays a big role in shit, right?

• 26:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, they were like, I don't give a fuck. You live on Holly or you live in Ludus Park. You live in these places that were what they were. I come from a blood territory, a blood hood. And the other hood surrounding areas were crips. Whether or not I was a part of the gang culture, it didn't matter. To the other side, that's where you live. So that's what you're about. I had to walk through all of that. I went to the high school for the performing arts.

• 26:37Dax Shepard?

  Which was at Hollywood High?

• 26:38Speaker 03

  No, no, no. That's Hollywood High. That's where I graduated. That's where I did my senior year.

• 26:42Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay, okay. This is the LA County?

• 26:44Speaker 03

  The LA County High School for the Performing Arts. I was part of the inaugural class in 1985. I'm actually going back to do their 40 year reunion this year.

• 26:52Dax Shepard?

  Oh, cool.

• 26:53Speaker 03

  Somebody reached out to me and asked me to be a part of it. And I never wanted to be a part of the school.

• 26:57Dax Shepard?

  Why?

• 26:57Speaker 03

  Because they kicked me out for having weed. I get why you did it, but you let the white boys with cocaine stay in the school. I know I'm getting off our topic and I'll get back to it, but I had an issue with the administration.

• 27:07Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 27:07Speaker 03

  So for the longest time, people that I knew that were students there, I had friends who had kids there. You should come back and talk to the school. And I was like, no. And then one day I woke up and I was like, but that's doing a disservice to the students.

• 27:19Dax Shepard?

  Exactly, who did nothing to you.

• 27:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, who did nothing to me and would love for somebody like me to be there and be a part of that.

• 27:25Dax Shepard?

  Absolutely.

• 27:26Speaker 03

  So years ago, I decided, okay, whenever they ask me again, I'm there. So I had to be ready for school by 5:30 because I had to walk a mile and a half to a bus stop.

• 27:34Dax Shepard?

  5:30 in the 80s, shit's popping.

• 27:36Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Especially in the hoods where I'm from.

• 27:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:39Speaker 01

  Why? Mornings were like extra?

• 27:41Dax Shepard?

  Well, because people have been smoking crack all night long. They're still how, they're still buying.

• 27:45Speaker 03

  All this shit, drive-bys. Nobody schedules a drive-by 3:30 in the afternoon. It's like, yo, we gonna catch them when we catch them. So walking through my hood was fine, but then I had to walk through other neighborhoods. You hear Tupac and them talk about Long Beach and Rosecrans. You hear people rap about that shit. That's my neighborhood.

• 28:00Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 28:00Speaker 03

  That's the corner where I had to sit and wait for a bus at 5:50 in the morning. Right across the street are the Santana Block Crips, diametrically opposed to the Ludus Park Bloods. And then the mob, I'm probably speaking French to y'all and all this other shit, but those who know who are listening, understand. So I had to sit on that bus stop at 5:50 in the morning, waiting for a 6 a.m. bus. That takes me two hours to get to school and then I had to reverse it at four o'clock when I got out of school and come home.

• 28:26Dax Shepard?

  So really quick, what's the survival mechanism? Is it ignoring? Is it acknowledging? Is it ignoring till you have to acknowledge?

• 28:34Speaker 03

  You don't ignore it. That's when you get caught. You know, your head is always on a swivel, especially moving alone in areas that are hotspots. I'm always conscious of where I am. That's just the era that I come from and the neighborhoods that I come from.

• 28:48Dax Shepard?

  So when you were seeing it blow up in pop culture, to be fully honest with you, my best friend, Aaron, who I'm still best friends with. We left Detroit right when we graduated high school. We went on a road trip. We lived in the car for like six months. When we came to LA, our very first stop was where's South Central?

• 29:06Speaker 03

  Very wide of you.

• 29:07Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, we want to see all the action. And then we got there and being from Detroit, the projects of Detroit, you know, you're looking at them.

• 29:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:15Dax Shepard?

  And we were like, these are kind of nice houses. It was a little confusing.

• 29:19Speaker 03

  I was gonna ask you that.

• 29:19Dax Shepard?

  All these like World War II bungalow developments. It's very confusing if you're from the East Coast to come out and see.

• 29:26Speaker 01

  And also what's been presented in media and stuff like that.

• 29:29Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. So if I were you, I would be annoyed like, what the fuck are these white boys doing? They're tourists.

• 29:35Speaker 03

  That's when you get caught. So you never got caught up in anything?

• 29:37Dax Shepard?

  No, but I was also smoking crack in Detroit.

• 29:40Speaker 03

  I've never known that about you.

• 29:41Dax Shepard?

  I'm an ex addict and I used to be in the gnarliest apartment smoking crack in Detroit.

• 29:46Speaker 03

  We recognize that.

• 29:47Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I knew how to get by and so did Aaron.

• 29:49Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 29:50Dax Shepard?

  But all to say, I'm trying to imagine what it is when you're inside of it and people, they themselves are enamored by it.

• 29:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's a zoo animal feeling.

• 29:58Speaker 03

  It is. It's like when the baby falls into the gorilla cage or somebody gets into the cage. You want to see the motherfuckers get ripped apart.

• 30:06Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 30:07Speaker 03

  As you say, when the baby falls in, because that's an accident, but when motherfuckers. Get in and like want to play with the lions and want to play with the monkeys and you know better.

• 30:14Dax Shepard?

  Yes, yes.

• 30:14Speaker 03

  It's like motherfucker, there's a wire cage and there's a brick fence. You climbed all of this. You swam across the moat to get this. You deserve whatever you're about to get right now. And the animal should not be punished.

• 30:26Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

• 30:27Speaker 03

  For what is about to happen to you.

• 30:29Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 30:29Speaker 03

  And it's fucked up that the animal has to be killed euthanized and maimed and whatever because of what this asshole did. So sometimes when you see shit like that, you was like, okay, this is all news to me. You're telling me you've been an exotic. I probably knew about that, but I didn't know you smoked crack.

• 30:42Dax Shepard?

  Sure, sure.

• 30:43Speaker 03

  You probably talked about that. You had to talk about this shit because you said it so freely right now.

• 30:47Dax Shepard?

  Without any shame.

• 30:47Speaker 01

  We talk about it every five minutes.

• 30:49Speaker 03

  Yeah. How old were you when you started smoking crack and what was that about? How long was the addiction to that?

• 30:55Dax Shepard?

  Well, crack, thank God, was something I did semi-controlled. My preference was to snort it.

• 31:02Speaker 03

  Snort crack?

• 31:03Dax Shepard?

  No, no, snort coke.

• 31:04Speaker 03

  Okay. I was like, hold on, motherfucker. You go snort crack? You just didn't want to go to cocaine?

• 31:07Dax Shepard?

  I would often run out of that. I can't get that at three in the morning. So I go to Ghost Town in Venice and buy crack and I'll smoke crack.

• 31:17Speaker 03

  You weren't doing that while you were in Detroit?

• 31:18Dax Shepard?

  No, no. Then I go back to Detroit for the summers and hang with all my boys and we go downtown.

• 31:23Speaker 01

  But you weren't a kid doing it.

• 31:24Dax Shepard?

  I wasn't a child. I probably smoked it for the first time when I was 21.

• 31:29Speaker 03

  All right. Wow.

• 31:31Speaker 01

  This is also while he's at UCLA.

• 31:34Speaker 03

  No.

• 31:35Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:36Speaker 01

  Like two things are happening that make no sense.

• 31:38Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah. I'm at UCLA and in the groundlings. I'm a comedian.

• 31:45Dax Shepard?

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare. This episode is brought to you by McDonald's. Ah, the Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Medium Fries and a Drink is now $8.

• 32:01Speaker 01

  What?

• 32:02Dax Shepard?

  Okay, I need to talk about something that doesn't get enough respect. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese. This is not a casual burger. This is a crafted burger. We're talking 100% fresh beef cooked right when you order it. No artificial flavors, no fillers, no preservatives, just beef doing what beef is supposed to do. And here's a detail. I love. There's a cowbell sound in the kitchen. When somebody orders a quarter pounder with cheese, a cowbell goes off and the grill master throws a fresh patty down. That's like having your own entrance music at McDonald's. I want a cowbell for everything in life. The onions are hand topped by someone who just knows the right amount. Two slices of cheese laid out in a star pattern, so every single bite gets cheese. And two pickles side by side, so you're never in a pickle desert.

• 32:46Dax Shepard?

  Every bite is accounted for. Someone engineered this thing with love. I love a quarter.

• 32:52Speaker 01

  Me too. That's my order. It's a quarter pounder with cheese. I love it. I didn't know they put so much effort that they did a star formation. I should have known because you can taste.

• 33:03Dax Shepard?

  You can taste it. Yeah, the love. Don't tell anyone this, but I'll put two of them back.

• 33:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm not surprised.

• 33:10Dax Shepard?

  The quarter pounder with cheese with fries and a drink now $8 for a limited time only, only at McDonald's. For a limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California, and for delivery. Fresh beef not available in Alaska and Hawaii. Offer not valid for delivery. We get support from Quince. Okay, so I have a confession. I'm the worst holiday shopper on the planet. I wait until the last possible second, I panic, and then I end up buying something nobody wants. But this year I've cracked the code and the code is cozy. And Quince's bedding makes it so easy because the quality is exceptional. It's the kind of gift people actually use in love long after the holidays.

• 33:49Speaker 01

  Yes. Okay, can we talk about their European linens? Because Quince's 100% European linen gets softer with every wash. Most bedding peaks the day you buy it and then it's all downhill. This is the opposite and their organic cotton bedding is breathable and incredibly soft. It's hotel quality comfort for your own bed.

• 34:07Dax Shepard?

  You crawl into bed and you're like, wait, did I accidentally check into a Four Seasons? Quince just makes it easy to create a bed you'll actually look forward to getting into. And their quilts, coverlets, and duvet inserts make any bed and any gift feel complete.

• 34:21Speaker 01

  Everything at Quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen. So you can get and give luxury quality. Is without the luxury price tag.

• 34:32Dax Shepard?

  I mean, guys, I put these on the bed of my children. They are wrapping my little babies and I feel great about it.

• 34:38Speaker 01

  Mine are striped. They're so cute. They're very fashionable and very comfortable. And it's not just bedding. Quince has everyone on your list covered with Mongolian cashmere sweaters, fine jewelry, leather bags, chef-grade cookware, five-star luggage, and more.

• 34:52Dax Shepard?

  Give the gift of quality this holiday season. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns, now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks you where you heard about them, let them know it was Armchair Expert. It's the best way to support the show. We get support from No Bull. The holidays can get hectic. You finally hit a post-summer routine and suddenly you're on hosting duty every week.

• 35:20Speaker 01

  That's when you really need to ground yourself.

• 35:23Dax Shepard?

  Exactly. And that's why I keep my training routine through the holidays. It's the whole No Bull idea. There's a No Bull shit training brand built around consistency, honesty, and just putting in the work. It's not about adding more pressure to an already-packed schedule. It's about having the gear and the habits to move through the season your way. My personal favorite, all three of the shoes are fantastic. The Outwork, the Outwork Flex, and the Drive 2. I like the Drive 2 because it's a hybrid and I lift, of course, but I also like to do what's called box jumps.

• 35:53Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 35:54Dax Shepard?

  Right? I do a lot of jumping onto a little platform and I want a little more flexibility and boy, do they deliver.

• 36:00Speaker 01

  And if you're a cardio person and you're running and you also need to be lifting.

• 36:04Dax Shepard?

  And the style is banging. I don't know what to say. Beautiful style, very breathable, very, very comfortable, lots of support. They were built for lifting.

• 36:12Speaker 01

  They also make a great holiday gift. You know, I love gifting, a purposeful one that actually supports someone's goals and routines. And it's not a gift that just ends up in the back of the closet.

• 36:21Dax Shepard?

  Stay stronger than the season. Head to nobullproject.com all holiday season to shop new deals every week. This episode is supported by Helix.

• 36:32Speaker 01

  Okay, can we talk about how November is basically survival mode? Between the holidays, the travel, the hosting, the cooking, the everything. Sleep is the one thing keeping me from completely unraveling.

• 36:43Dax Shepard?

  It really is the foundation. And I think people underestimate how much a bad mattress is quietly ruining their day. You wake up stiff, your back's angry, you're already behind before your feet hit the floor.

• 36:54Speaker 01

  That was me before Helix. I took their sleep quiz, which is so fast. It took me like two minutes and they matched me to a mattress that actually fits how I sleep. Not a guess, not a firm or soft coin flip. It's a real match. I have a midnight mattress and I really like it. I was noticing it because I actually had to sleep in one of my other beds.

• 37:11Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 37:12Speaker 01

  Recently.

• 37:12Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 37:13Speaker 01

  That doesn't have a Helix mattress on it. And I really could tell a big difference in my sleep.

• 37:17Dax Shepard?

  Temperature was all over the map.

• 37:18Speaker 01

  It was a mess. I need a new one.

• 37:20Dax Shepard?

  Look, they've got over 20 mattress models. So whether you sleep hot, need extra back support, or you've got a partner who moves around all night, there's one built for you. Plus free shipping and a 365 night happy with Helix guarantee. That's a full year to decide.

• 37:34Speaker 01

  Helix has been named the most awarded mattress by Forbes, Wired and more. So it's not just us being enthusiastic, the experts agree.

• 37:41Dax Shepard?

  Right now, Helix is running their Black Friday sale with up to 30% off. Go to helixsleep.com/armchair for up to 30% off your Helix mattress. That's helixsleep.com/armchair for up to 30% off your Helix mattress. Helixsleep.com/armchair.

• 38:05Speaker 03

  Have you ever done SNL?

• 38:07Dax Shepard?

  I haven't, no.

• 38:08Speaker 03

  Neither have I.

• 38:09Dax Shepard?

  It's heartbreaking, right?

• 38:10Speaker 03

  It is, man.

• 38:11Dax Shepard?

  And now I'm getting so old, now it's starting to sound like too much work for me.

• 38:14Speaker 03

  Yeah. You look at the successes that we've had, you know, in our careers. And then you look at some of the talent that they have come there and host. And you're like, did I upset somebody?

• 38:23Dax Shepard?

  Right, right, right, right.

• 38:24Speaker 03

  I've never questioned my ability because I know what I can do.

• 38:27Dax Shepard?

  They called for my availability one time.

• 38:29Speaker 03

  Hold on.

• 38:29Dax Shepard?

  It's not to say that they were offering it to me.

• 38:31Speaker 03

  No, I got the same thing.

• 38:33Dax Shepard?

  And that's great.

• 38:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, they called for my availability, but then they never called back once we sent them the dates. I was like, what the fuck? I was available. I was in the middle of Blackish. I mean, we were shooting my show. We had 24 episodes a year. We get the call. We gonna tell ABC, yo, we shutting down for whatever. I'm about to go do SNL. These motherfuckers never called back, man.

• 38:54Dax Shepard?

  I'm gonna say this from the bottom of my heart. You would be great.

• 38:57Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 38:58Dax Shepard?

  You would be such a great host.

• 38:59Speaker 01

  I'm very surprised you have that.

• 39:00Speaker 03

  That's what I've always said.

• 39:01Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you really would be a great, great host.

• 39:02Speaker 03

  While I was doing my first stint on Law and Order, so from 2008 to 2010, they came to Jeremy's sister and I and wanted us to shoot a bit with Zach Galifianakis, because he was hosting. So we went and did a Law and Order bit type thing.

• 39:19Speaker 01

  Oh, that's fun.

• 39:20Dax Shepard?

  And it aired?

• 39:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, it aired. I was cool with that, but I was like, yo, you can call me to come be funny and do this shit.

• 39:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:25Speaker 03

  But I get what that was.

• 39:27Dax Shepard?

  You gotta take it as a win. You're back on the bus stop, 5:30 in the morning. You're like, oh, boy, they're in a fight. They're about to start shooting.

• 39:33Speaker 03

  Where's the 360 down Long Beach Boulevard?

• 39:35Dax Shepard?

  And then I show up.

• 39:36Speaker 03

  Come on, express bus.

• 39:37Dax Shepard?

  And then the white angel shows up and he says, guess what? At some point, SNL's gonna call and ask for your availability. You're gonna go, oh, my God.

• 39:45Speaker 03

  I won't run. That's a win. I won't run from these bullets. I just hope they don't hit me.

• 39:51Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so, single mom or you had a stepdad?

• 39:54Speaker 03

  I've never called him my stepdad. He's been my dad since I was an infant. So that's my daddy.

• 39:58Dax Shepard?

  Great. And you had a good one.

• 40:00Speaker 03

  I did.

• 40:01Dax Shepard?

  He's from Little Rock and he came to work in a steel mill?

• 40:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, Little Rock, Arkansas, youngest of 16.

• 40:08Dax Shepard?

  16?

• 40:09Speaker 03

  Same mom, same dad, grew up on a farm, an Irish twin. My Uncle Adele is 11 months older than my dad. My Uncle Adele came out to California. Being an Irish twin, he was tied to the hip. He came out to be where his older brother was.

• 40:24Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, that's right.

• 40:25Speaker 03

  That's what brought my dad out to California. Ended up working in the steel mill, Sule Steel.

• 40:29Dax Shepard?

  Where's that?

• 40:30Speaker 03

  In Watts.

• 40:31Dax Shepard?

  That's not still functional.

• 40:32Speaker 03

  No, it's not still functioning. All the steel went over to Japan years ago. It was crazy. My dad, his company sent him to Japan. And my dad was like 6'4", 300 plus pounds, but he was 300 solid. So just imagine a big butt dude with a Jerry curl. Were people taking his picture? Oh my God, my dad has pictures of him and all these Japanese women just surrounded him. And he's holding up his hand and his lady's hand is like down here just to see the size.

• 40:58Dax Shepard?

  And her basement's flooded.

• 40:59Speaker 03

  And I know my daddy was over there fucking his ass off. And so he was there for a few weeks, man.

• 41:06Dax Shepard?

  I'm surprised he came back.

• 41:07Speaker 03

  He had to come back to my mama.

• 41:09Dax Shepard?

  Well, how did he end up? He owned clothing stores at some point?

• 41:12Speaker 03

  Again, my father did everything my uncle did. And my uncle started a clothing store in Watts and built it up to a few throughout Los Angeles. I'll never forget, growing up as a kid, my uncle was doing well. And he would walk around with a briefcase and have $15,000 in it. So 50 years ago, 40 years ago, for a black dude to be walking, to be doing that. Successful in business. And this was just the receipts from his stores from that week. And he would come over to my dad's house and they would talk and you know, just being that. It would sit up there and my dad would count the money with him and wanted to do what his older brother did.

• 41:53Speaker 03

  So my father went downtown LA to the garment district, bought a box of Braxton jeans. I'll never forget, 36 pair of jeans in a box. He went to a swap meet on that Saturday, sold out, went back the next day or later on that day, took the profits from his one box and bought two boxes, sold out the next day. So the next week, he took that profit and bought more stuff. And so that's how my father started at swap meets and then on corners. And then he had this one particular corner in Watts and LA that he would go to and set up shop. You know, canopies and tents. It was like an open storefront.

• 42:32Dax Shepard?

  Did he make you work with him ever?

• 42:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I didn't have a problem doing it.

• 42:35Dax Shepard?

  Good chance to work on your people skills.

• 42:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, popping my shit, my dad popping his shit, making money, getting paid as a teenager. Then from there, my father started opening stores. And when he opened his stores, it was for plus size women because my mom is a plus size. So he was just catering to the women he loved. So it was plus size women in children's clothing and that's what he did, man.

• 42:55Dax Shepard?

  And what did Doris do? I know she wanted to be an actor.

• 42:58Speaker 03

  She wanted to be an actor. My mother is, uh, was a telephone operator for the county of Los Angeles.

• 43:02Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I read that and I was like, this feels so eighties to be a telephone operator.

• 43:06Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah. And she worked at a hospital, Harbor General, UCLA Medical Center in Torrance, California.

• 43:10Dax Shepard?

  And you had a little brother.

• 43:12Speaker 03

  Two little brothers and a sister. My sister's the baby. I'm the oldest. I lost my youngest brother about 20 years ago now. In a car accident while he was at West Texas A&M College playing football.

• 43:22Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah, because they're probably huge like your dad.

• 43:24Speaker 03

  Yeah. So we lost him and then a year later lost my dad. So it's three children now, me, my brother Derek and my sister Doris.

• 43:31Dax Shepard?

  When my dad died, I thought it was going well.

• 43:36Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 43:37Dax Shepard?

  But in reflection, it really fucked me up more than I really kind of realized at the time. And I have a few friends whose dads also died too young. I don't know, it can bring out some wild stuff.

• 43:49Speaker 03

  I processed it as best as I could or as best as I knew how. And I don't think I've really processed it as an adult.

• 43:57Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. What year?

• 43:58Speaker 03

  This was almost 20 years ago. So I was in my thirties. I was successful.

• 44:02Dax Shepard?

  Well, good. He saw that.

• 44:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, I've been successful a while. So he got a chance to see all of that stuff. But you know, when I'm, when I go to my therapist, I'm going to talk to my therapist about this. You're giving me something to talk to him about. Cause I don't really think I fully processed the death of my father.

• 44:13Dax Shepard?

  Me either. It's still evolving. Mine was 2012. So 13 years ago. My most consistent dream is dreams about him. When he died, it was a bit of a relief. Because I was caring for him and supporting him and it was complicated. And so at first it was just like, okay, whoo, there's a lot off my plate now. And then, oh, I miss him. And then it just continues to unfold this whole thing. And now I have a completely different view of him than I did when he died. I recognize all these incredible things he was, in spite of some things I was disappointed in.

• 44:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:46Dax Shepard?

  Just all these things. And yeah, now I'm like, God, yeah, I'd really like to go back now and hang with him when he was virile and not dying.

• 44:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, my dad, it's sad. How it happened because I'm a type two diabetic. I was the first person diagnosed with type two diabetes in my family. I started getting healthy and I started partnering with Eli Lilly and now Novo Nordisk, bringing awareness about diabetes to the inner city, in particular, black men.

• 45:12Dax Shepard?

  They over index, right?

• 45:14Speaker 03

  Very much so, because I lost my father to complications of diabetes. And what was fucked up, he had diabetes for probably 20, 25 years, undiagnosed.

• 45:24Speaker 01

  Without knowing, oof.

• 45:25Dax Shepard?

  That's rough, right? You're peeing all the time, you're fatigued.

• 45:29Speaker 03

  Dad's just tired, you know, this is a teenager growing up and all this other shit. He's like, why does dad have a bucket next to the bed? Because he fucking just roll over and piss in the bucket next to his bed.

• 45:37Dax Shepard?

  He's peeing nonstop.

• 45:38Speaker 03

  Once I was diagnosed as a diabetic, I was like, oh shit, this is what my father had. As I was growing up, I'm looking at the symptoms I have and I'm looking at the symptoms he had. It had gotten to a point where, I don't know what it's called, but we say it's elephantitis, where his lower extremities were all fucking one size, from the knee down to the ankle and to the foot, and it was swollen and was hard as this table. And then he developed leaking ulcers on the back of both of his calves. And it became painful for him to walk. So I had to get him a cane and a roller walker. At this point, my father's in his 60s and he just let himself go. So now he's really just a big man. By the time he was diagnosed,

• 46:20Speaker 03

  diabetes had wreaked havoc on his body. And I took him to the best endocrinologist that I could find. We tried to nurse him back to health. And he was in the hospital for a couple of months, had a pulmonary embolism while he was in the hospital, but they were able to catch it and save him, then released him to a rehab center, then they let him go home. So we had a nurse that would come to him daily. And then one day I went to visit my dad and my brother, his nickname was Tugger. That's my brother that passed. And I was talking to my dad, he was laying in his bed and I was in his bedroom just leaning up against his dresser, speaking to him. And I was like, hey, what's going on, pops? How you doing? He's, I'm all right. He said, I saw Tugger last night. I was like, really? He said, yeah, he just sat on the edge of the bed right there. I said, and what you guys do?

• 47:04Speaker 03

  He said, we just talk. I was like, oh, really?

• 47:07Dax Shepard?

  At that point, are you like, oh, dad's kind of hallucinating?

• 47:10Speaker 03

  No, not hallucinating. It was like dad is about to go.

• 47:12Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, right, right, right.

• 47:13Speaker 03

  I believe in ghosts and all that. So when he was telling me my brother came to visit him, I was like, oh, okay. It's time. And not long after that, man, he died on Valentine's Day. I was going to work. I was filming The Shield and I got a call in the middle of the night from his nurses that we lost your dad.

• 47:31Dax Shepard?

  Oh, man.

• 47:31Speaker 03

  And, uh, yeah. That's why I'm so adamant about going around the world and just talking about diabetes and giving my testimonial and just talking to men. I know I got it from being a glutton and from not eating the right shit and for doing all this other shit that I did throughout my life that contributed to it. I'll say that much. I contributed to it.

• 47:53Dax Shepard?

  Were you adjusting or regulating the inside with that? Like I'm using drugs and booze?

• 48:01Speaker 03

  Oh, no.

• 48:01Dax Shepard?

  It wasn't like a coping mechanism for anything?

• 48:04Speaker 03

  No, no, I just like good shit, man. I just get gluttons.

• 48:07Speaker 01

  Just taste good.

• 48:08Speaker 03

  Probably why I got motherfucking gout in my big toe on my right foot occasionally.

• 48:11Dax Shepard?

  Oh, that's rough, isn't it?

• 48:12Speaker 03

  Oh, man.

• 48:13Dax Shepard?

  That's what my dad at the end, he had gout in addition to everything.

• 48:16Speaker 03

  You know, it's crazy. I was living in New Orleans for a while, shooting a show there.

• 48:19Dax Shepard?

  That place will give you gout.

• 48:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was like, I'm gonna be healthy.

• 48:22Speaker 01

  Not the place.

• 48:23Speaker 03

  I was eating nothing but seafood and shellfish. Yeah, I was like, oh, I'm just eating seafood and shellfish. But all the puree and the shellfish contributed to my buildup of uric acid. And I'll never forget, I was in the scene and I went to kick a door in and I hit it. And I was like, ow, I think I broke my toe. And I finished the scene, then we moved locations. We were filming in a hotel in the middle of the night and I was laying across the bed and they said, action. And I jumped up to run and chase the perp and I put pressure on my right foot and I collapsed. And I was like, oh, yeah, I broke my toe. I went to the doctor the next day limping in. They were like, what's wrong, Mr. Anderson? I was like, I kicked the door and I think I broke my toe. They're looking at it like, I don't think you broke your toe. I said, yeah, no, I think I broke my toe. They're like, um, you might have the gout.

• 49:08Speaker 03

  I was like, no, I ain't got the gout.

• 49:10Dax Shepard?

  That's not for me.

• 49:10Speaker 03

  I was like, Dr. Kotler, let's go on x-ray. They humored me. And I was like, okay, Mr. Anderson. Took me x-rayed that shit, came back 30 minutes later, said, we got good news and bad news. Which one do you want first? I was like, the good news. All right, you didn't break your toe. What's the bad news? You got the gout.

• 49:27Speaker 03

  You motherfucker. If you look at it, it looks red hot. And so if you put your hand above it, you can feel the heat coming off of it. Now, I think about it, I was like, well, it is uric acid. You associate acid with being hot. That's just my little way of thinking about things. But if you hover your hand above wherever you may have the gout, it's radiating heat up off of it and it's bright red and it hurts like hell.

• 49:50Dax Shepard?

  Okay, what I have gleaned from the many interviews I've watched of you now is, and I'm guessing, having to leave Howard, was that heartbreaking?

• 49:59Speaker 03

  It was. It was disappointing.

• 50:01Dax Shepard?

  So you go to Howard after this magnet school you're at? And you're there for how many years?

• 50:07Speaker 03

  Three. I ran out of money after my junior year.

• 50:10Dax Shepard?

  And you're doing theater there? And are you loving DC?

• 50:13Speaker 03

  Loving DC is Chocolate City. It was at the beginning of gentrification. And at 17, 18 years old, I didn't really understand or know what gentrification was, even though I was at the beginning of it in Washington DC. The Washington Wizards, their basketball team, used to be called the Washington Bullets. But because it was the murder capital of the world at one particular time in the 80s. And they had been the Washington Bullets forever.

• 50:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, had nothing to do with it.

• 50:38Speaker 03

  So they were like, maybe we need to change the name of the team.

• 50:41Speaker 01

  Let's rebrand Optics.

• 50:43Dax Shepard?

  Washington Murders.

• 50:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're right. So they changed the name from the Washington Bullets to the Washington Wizards. Just some for you.

• 50:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, a little extra.

• 50:51Dax Shepard?

  So you run out of money and you come back to LA.

• 50:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:55Dax Shepard?

  How long before getting back to starting to get employed? Because I feel like you and I have a kind of a similar. I didn't start getting hired as an actor till like 28.

• 51:03Speaker 03

  25 for me.

• 51:04Dax Shepard?

  Oh, right. You do five years on a Saturday morning teen show.

• 51:10Speaker 03

  I got that when I was 25 years old. So I left Howard at 20.

• 51:14Dax Shepard?

  Those five years is long, right?

• 51:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, I came home, especially with nothing. My parents ended up getting. Separated a few years after I came home. I moved in with my mom, went to a couple of community colleges just because I wanted to keep my mind active. I was like, I'm going back to Howard. I just don't want to sit here and fuck off. So let me go to some J C's. I went to El Camino Community College and I went to Compton College for a semester each. And I was like, yeah, I just want to keep my mind active and I want to pick up some classes that's going to transfer so it'll make my load a little easier when I go back for my senior year. That shit never happened.

• 51:47Dax Shepard?

  Well, till 2020. When'd you go back?

• 51:49Speaker 03

  2022 is when I went back.

• 51:50Speaker 01

  And you graduated?

• 51:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, my son got accepted to Howard University in 2018. When I went to college, I would have been the first person to graduate in my family from college. So that's why I was like, no, I got to go back and fucking finish. Then I started having kids and then my younger cousins, 10, 15 years younger than me, they started going to college and graduating. I was like, fuck, I wanted to be the first.

• 52:08Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 52:09Speaker 03

  So my daughter went to the University of San Diego, graduated magna cum laude. I was like, oh, fuck, now she's slapping me in the face with this shit.

• 52:18Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:18Speaker 03

  Then my son gets accepted to Howard. His mother and I met at Howard.

• 52:22Dax Shepard?

  In 1989.

• 52:23Speaker 03

  Yeah. So you're a double legacy kid. You got to go to Howard. And I was like, you know what, son? You're inspiring me to go back to school. I'm going to walk with you in 2022. That gives me four years to make up 15 credits.

• 52:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:35Speaker 03

  So I was like, I can do that shit. And so he goes, real life gets in his way. He's a young artist, actor, musician, rapper, and he wants to pursue his dream. And my son would always tell me, he was like, you dropped out of college and look at you. I was like, first off, motherfucker, I didn't drop out of college.

• 52:51Dax Shepard?

  I ran out of money.

• 52:52Speaker 03

  There's a difference. I had financial hardships. I didn't just wake up one morning like you did and be like, fuck it, I'm dropping out. My dad got me. No, motherfucker, your daddy ain't got you. There are consequences that comes with these choices that you were about to make. And I'm telling you right now, you about to fuck it up.

• 53:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:08Speaker 03

  But he left after his freshman year, but I kept my promise to him. I kept my promise to myself and I walked in 2022.

• 53:15Dax Shepard?

  That's so cool.

• 53:16Speaker 01

  I love that.

• 53:17Speaker 03

  Taraji Henson was our commencement speaker the year I received my degree.

• 53:22Speaker 01

  Oh, my gosh.

• 53:22Speaker 03

  Taraji and I were classmates in the College of Fine Arts back when I was in school.

• 53:28Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow.

• 53:29Speaker 03

  Denise Saunders, who was the Associate Dean of the College of Fine Arts, was instrumental in helping me get back into school. She and I were classmates when I was at Howard University.

• 53:40Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 53:41Speaker 03

  Felicia Rashad is now the Dean of the College of Fine Arts.

• 53:45Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 53:46Speaker 03

  And this is her last year as Dean of the College of Fine Arts. She and I are friends.

• 53:51Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 53:52Speaker 03

  And have done things together. I received my degree from her. And the College of Fine Arts is no longer called the College of Fine Arts. That year, for the first time, it's now called the Chadwick A. Bozeman College of Fine Arts. And Chadwick and I are contemporaries and friends in this industry. All of that happened the year that I went back to get my degree. And it was just a full circle moment. And I took my best friend, who's my kid's godfather, Skinny Boy, who I went to high school with. We ended up at Howard together at the same time as freshmen. So it was a full circle moment.

• 54:26Speaker 01

  Meant to be.

• 54:26Speaker 03

  I went back to get my degree with the guy I started college with, with all of these people that I started college with.

• 54:32Dax Shepard?

  That airplane ride home, I'd be like, well, if it goes down, like, this is about as great as it gets, story-wise.

• 54:39Dax Shepard?

  This really worked out. So many wonderful things you were in. I really am jealous of a lot.

• 54:44Speaker 03

  Why? What are you jealous of?

• 54:45Dax Shepard?

  Well, Departed, the fact that in your lifetime, you worked for a Scorsese.

• 54:49Speaker 03

  You can just leave it right there. You don't have to read anymore.

• 54:51Dax Shepard?

  It might be the greatest cast of all time.

• 54:54Speaker 03

  I would say that. Directed by the greatest director of all time.

• 54:57Dax Shepard?

  Yes. We both hosted Kimmel, and you've done it a lot. How many times have you done it?

• 55:02Speaker 03

  I think I have the record for most appearances on Jimmy Kimmel. If I haven't passed Adam Carolla yet, I am a close second to him.

• 55:10Dax Shepard?

  God, I feel like I gotta be up there, too.

• 55:12Speaker 01

  Do you know how many you've been?

• 55:13Speaker 03

  No, there's a lot. Like, every summer when Jimmy takes off, I host four weeks. But what's crazy, he used to have co-hosts on his show with him back in the day.

• 55:21Dax Shepard?

  That's right.

• 55:22Speaker 03

  So you would come on and co-host with him. I was the last co-host that he had. Mike Tyson was before me.

• 55:28Dax Shepard?

  Uh-huh.

• 55:29Speaker 03

  And then I came on, and then I would come sit in for him. And then whenever he needed a bit or something, he always would call me, and I'd call my mom, so it would be me and my mom on there.

• 55:39Speaker 01

  Oh, your mom at the award show, that bit was so great. Yes, that was so fantastic.

• 55:46Dax Shepard?

  Of all these hosting duties, which is your favorite? I mean, the game show rack, it's nice because you're just cranking out episodes.

• 55:52Speaker 03

  Those are cool, and I get to do it with my mom, so that's cool. But I would probably say Kimmel, because I've always wanted my own talk show.

• 55:58Speaker 01

  I was gonna ask that.

• 55:59Speaker 03

  So I enjoy it from top to bottom. It's like me directing when I was directing on Blackish. You know, it was like, okay, I don't know how to direct, but my crew is not gonna let me fail my very first episode.

• 56:10Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 56:11Speaker 03

  So, you know, this is a safe place for me to do it.

• 56:13Dax Shepard?

  It's a great place.

• 56:14Speaker 03

  So Kimmel is home for me. He's a great talk show host, but he's a fucking great friend.

• 56:20Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my God.

• 56:20Speaker 03

  He's a great guy.

• 56:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, he'll almost shame you.

• 56:22Speaker 01

  He's right there.

• 56:23Dax Shepard?

  We gave him a best boy award.

• 56:25Speaker 01

  We gave him a best boy award.

• 56:26Dax Shepard?

  He's the best boy on planet Earth.

• 56:27Speaker 03

  Best thing I would say is Kimmel and right after that, hosting the Emmys.

• 56:31Dax Shepard?

  You loved it.

• 56:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:32Dax Shepard?

  Do you know that Ant refers to himself as the Lucci? What's her name?

• 56:36Speaker 01

  Susan Lucci.

• 56:37Speaker 03

  I'm the black Susan Lucci.

• 56:38Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, because he's been nominated 11 times. Monica and I were talking about the other day, and I was like, I don't know, man, if they had fucking nominated me, mind you, I've never been nominated, but if they nominated me five times, I might go like, I'm not fucking coming anymore.

• 56:49Speaker 03

  Like when I used to be nominated for an NAACP Image Award. Every year I go and I think, ah shit, this is the year. And I was like, ah. And then one year I was like, oh, this is it. Oh, no, I showed my ass in this. This was it. And I get there, I didn't look at who the other nominees were. So I was just like, oh, who's nominated? I get there and I look at my category and I was like, Denzel Washington. Oopsie. I had to shoot me for nothing.

• 57:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 57:16Speaker 03

  Nothing. And the winner is for best lead actor in the movie, Denzel Washington. Fuck.

• 57:24Dax Shepard?

  One last question, and then I want to talk about G20. How do you know Jordan? And what's that hang like?

• 57:30Speaker 01

  Wait, what Jordan?

• 57:31Dax Shepard?

  Michael Jordan.

• 57:32Speaker 03

  Michael Jordan.

• 57:32Dax Shepard?

  The Jordan.

• 57:33Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 57:33Dax Shepard?

  Oh, he does live next door to Michael B. Jordan.

• 57:35Speaker 03

  MJ.

• 57:36Dax Shepard?

  He said there's three black people in his neighborhood. Him, Michael B. Jordan, and Machine Gun Gelli.

• 57:43Speaker 03

  You've done your research.

• 57:44Dax Shepard?

  I tried to.

• 57:44Speaker 03

  You've done your fucking research, man.

• 57:46Dax Shepard?

  That was funny. We kind of love him. We had him on. He was one of my favorite guests ever. Yeah, he's a special dude. He's like a very sensitive, sweet dude.

• 57:54Speaker 03

  He's nothing like you think he would be.

• 57:56Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 57:56Speaker 03

  Like, he called me up one day, Thanksgiving, he was like, yo, Ant, you gotta need aluminum foil?

• 58:03Speaker 03

  I was like, I do.

• 58:05Dax Shepard?

  And you're grown. You should have it too.

• 58:07Speaker 03

  I was like, I'm in Qatar right now. But yo, I can give you the code to my back door.

• 58:15Speaker 03

  So I was like, yo, I'll give you the code to my back door, man. It's in the drawer right next to you. He said, no, that's all right.

• 58:20Dax Shepard?

  Task rabbit it.

• 58:21Speaker 03

  I owe him a sweet potato pie, by the way. He always calls me about the sweet potato pie. Cause he knows I bake.

• 58:25Dax Shepard?

  He's a sweet boy. You need to take him under your arm.

• 58:27Speaker 03

  I've gone to his birthday parties and all that. We're good.

• 58:30Dax Shepard?

  That's good. But Jordan, we watched Last Stand, as everyone did. And just so fascinated.

• 58:36Speaker 03

  The brand Jordan would ask me to come do their corporate things for their athletes that wear brand Jordan. Like he would do a corporate retreat with just his elite athletes who wear his stuff.

• 58:46Dax Shepard?

  Oh, so fun.

• 58:47Speaker 03

  I would be there as the host.

• 58:49Dax Shepard?

  As a world record holder.

• 58:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, as a world record.

• 58:53Speaker 03

  I would just be there as a host and having fun. And all we would do was play golf and he would have competitions. He would set us up in different groups. It could be eight or nine groups with 10 athletes per group. And it was like, yo, I want you guys to create a new shoe and tell us what you think it is. And whatever group wins will get a pair of Jordans from Jordan one all the way up to whatever year we're at that, at that time.

• 59:17Dax Shepard?

  Every single pair.

• 59:18Speaker 03

  Every single pair and whatever color scheme that you want.

• 59:21Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 59:22Dax Shepard?

  See, I wore these just for you.

• 59:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, there you go. I got those too. So my team fucking lost. But the fact that that time, it was like 30 pair of Jays that you could get in your colorway.

• 59:33Dax Shepard?

  That's 15,000 bucks or 30,000 bucks worth of shoes.

• 59:36Speaker 03

  Yeah. So we've become cool, but what really made us cool, they opened the Cove Hotel in the Bahamas at Atlantis.

• 59:43Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 59:44Speaker 03

  So this was 20 years ago, 17 years ago, something like that. So they had a big, grand opening. And MJ is sitting there, we're in a restaurant, Stevie won his birthday, all kinds of celebrities there, cause it's a huge opening. We're in Bobby Flay's restaurant. And so I walk over to MJ and I was like, oh shit, there's MJ. And I've never met him before. I was like, I gotta talk to him. So I'm talking to my ex-wife. I'm like, hey babe, I'm gonna go talk to MJ. So I'll go see MJ and I'll say, hey MJ, hey man, I just want to say it's a pleasure to meet you. And I was like, I hear you're a domino player and I brought your dominos with me. I have this red pair of aluminum Jumpman dominos that I got at NBA All-Star in Vegas from a brand Jordan party. And he looked at me, he said, did I give you those motherfuckers? I said, no, you didn't.

• 1:00:29Speaker 03

  And he was like, how did you get him? I said, well, I consider myself to be the MJ of bones. But that's beside the point. I'd like to play with you. And he turns to my ex-wife and says, okay, look here, man. I suggest you go to the bank and take out as much money as you can. Because once I whip his ass, he won't have enough money to take care of you and your children.

• 1:00:56Dax Shepard?

  You're smart. You ensnared him in competition.

• 1:00:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, and she's like, I'm not gonna let him play you for money. But this is what he do. And he was like, meet me at the cabana tomorrow at noon. Oh, damn. I was like, alright. He's crazy. So I'm swimming in the ocean with Patrick Ewing.

• 1:01:14Dax Shepard?

  Sure.

• 1:01:15Speaker 03

  This is wild. My ex-wife comes running up to me, baby, baby. I was like, what? She said, MJ's at the cabana. I was like, yo, Pat, I gotta go. So I get out, dry off, I run upstairs, I grab the dominos. And before I leave, I see a camera sitting on the table. And I said, babe, grab the camera. Gotta take a picture. So she grabbed the camera. This is my first time meeting MJ and I'm hanging with him. So we get to the cabana. It's Ahmad Rashad, MJ. And then MJ brought somebody to play dominos with us, right?

• 1:01:44Dax Shepard?

  A ringer?

• 1:01:45Speaker 03

  Yes. And so we're there. Ahmad's not playing. Ahmad's just sitting there with his legs crossed, just looking as we're talking shit and having fun. And I'm just timid. I'm not talking shit. I'm just enamored with MJ. And he's beating me. Yeah. I rarely lose in dominos. And he's beating me, but I don't give a fuck that he's beating me. I'm like, he's on the back of my dominos like this. And I'm playing next to this man.

• 1:02:07Dax Shepard?

  You wanna look at the list of people who have lost to Michael Jordan? It's a good list.

• 1:02:10Speaker 03

  What a moment. Even better, a list of people who've beaten Michael Jordan. So I'm playing with him and he's talking shit. And my wife looks at me and says, yo, you just gonna let him keep talking shit to you like that? And I was like, shit, I'm crazy. But he says something that gets me razzled, razzled. I was like, fuck this, I'm gonna stop playing timid. I get domino. We're playing to 150. Jordan has 125, his buddy has 75, I have 45.

• 1:02:41Dax Shepard?

  Boom.

• 1:02:42Speaker 03

  And I get the domino and I look at him and I was like, yo MJ. I said, this is gonna be the hardest 25 points you ever had to score in your life. Just know that.

• 1:02:52Dax Shepard?

  This is so scary.

• 1:02:54Speaker 03

  Now I'm out of my shell. Now I'm like, yo, fuck this. I ain't gonna have this motherfucker whip my ass. I played domino. Now I'm talking shit. I'm talking cash shit to this motherfucker and he's giving it back.

• 1:03:07Dax Shepard?

  You send your wife to get money out of the bag.

• 1:03:09Speaker 03

  I'm like, yo baby, go get the money. Go get the money.

• 1:03:12Dax Shepard?

  I'm feeling it. Money's on.

• 1:03:13Speaker 03

  My mom is laughing. Fucking MJ is talking shit and then we're sitting there and boom, I say some shit and I win. Right? He's like, run it back. I was like, okay, motherfucker, let's go. So now we're running it back. Now I'm talking shit from the beginning. Now I'm in my element. And I'm boom, boom, boom, talking shit about him, his mama, his daddy, his kids, all this shit. And then I'm whipping his ass and I'm whipping this motherfucker's ass. And then I was like, yo, I wish me and my wife could make babies right now because we would go upstairs and make a baby right now.

• 1:03:52Speaker 03

  And we would name him or her MJ, just so when he or she got older, she could say, daddy, why did you name me MJ? And I could relive this moment right now. Bam! Domino, motherfucker! Won the game. His security comes out of the cabana. There's a DJ on the pool. The DJ scratches the record, stops the music. The fucking hotel security comes out, the people that are swimming in, because it's the open, it's the grand opening of this huge fucking hotel in the Bahamas. Everybody stops and turns towards us. Don't worry, I just whipped Michael Jordan's ass in dominoes. He all right though. We good.

• 1:04:35Dax Shepard?

  He's still got the shoes.

• 1:04:36Speaker 03

  You good? And I try to have my lady take pictures of it. The motherfucker refuses to take pictures with me. Now I have to find these pictures because I have pictures of this motherfucker just looking. Just like this and me sitting there smiling, but he refused to take pictures with me. And then we're on this island for the next three days for the celebration of the opening of this hotel. So there are dinners, there's parties, there's everything that we're going to this golf. We're taking group pictures. Every group picture we take, he kicks me out of.

• 1:05:10Dax Shepard?

  He's so mad at you. If there's any human that hates losing.

• 1:05:14Speaker 03

  I happily would leave the picture just so I could share the story as to why MJ is asking me to get out of the photo.

• 1:05:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's wonderful. It's the dream.

• 1:05:28Speaker 03

  I called radio stations. I talked about this on the news. I talked about it on talk shows.

• 1:05:35Dax Shepard?

  I'm surprised you weren't in Last Dance telling this story.

• 1:05:37Speaker 03

  I talked about all this other shit because nobody can really, only a few people, hold on, is it Lionel? Nope, it's not Lionel. Only a few people can say they beat Jordan one on one or some whatever the fuck it is. I can say that and we laugh about it to this day.

• 1:05:56Dax Shepard?

  And he came around to you. You aimed for the fence.

• 1:05:59Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:05:59Dax Shepard?

  I'm gonna show you my whole self and you're gonna like it or not.

• 1:06:03Speaker 03

  MJ, I love you, man. And I know people who listen are gonna tell you this story. I didn't bring this shit up. They brought it up, but I'm gonna talk about it every chance I get.

• 1:06:12Dax Shepard?

  Okay, G20.

• 1:06:14Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:06:14Dax Shepard?

  G20 comes out April 10th, streaming on Prime Video. Viola Davis, Academy Award winner.

• 1:06:20Speaker 03

  Fuck all that. She's an EGOT.

• 1:06:21Dax Shepard?

  Is she an EGOT?

• 1:06:23Speaker 03

  EGOT.

• 1:06:23Dax Shepard?

  She deserves to be.

• 1:06:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, a lot of people say she has an EGOT. I was like, no, she doesn't have an EGOT. She is an EGOT. There's a difference.

• 1:06:32Dax Shepard?

  Had you known her before this movie?

• 1:06:33Speaker 03

  I had known her before. We lived near each other. Hold on, is that Lionel? That's not Lionel.

• 1:06:41Speaker 03

  We've always had an admiration from one another and ABC together, you know, her show, my show. So I just always had love for her and she always had love for me. And I get a call, hey, Viola wants you as her husband, not come read this, come do this. I had a meeting with the director and the director was like, I've never cast a movie like this before. I've never had someone tell me that this is who they want.

• 1:07:02Dax Shepard?

  This is my husband.

• 1:07:03Speaker 03

  Yeah. I was like, wow.

• 1:07:05Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, that's awesome.

• 1:07:06Speaker 03

  And so that's how it all began.

• 1:07:07Dax Shepard?

  So she's the US president. You're the first man. You guys go down to South Africa for the G20 summit and you bring your kids.

• 1:07:14Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:07:15Dax Shepard?

  And then it's Die Hard.

• 1:07:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:17Dax Shepard?

  So there's some bad guys. Tony Starr, who I fucking love from The Boys. Do you watch The Boys?

• 1:07:23Speaker 03

  We have a table read because we shoot this entirely in Cape Town for six months. And I was like, who the fuck is this dude with this Australian accent or this New Zealand accent? I was like, I kind of like him. He's cool. And we shoot the movie. He kicks my ass. I kick his ass. I'm home nine months later. I'm doing some ADR and our director, Patricia, it was like, yeah, Anthony, the movie's looking great. We got this great buzz from Tony and his show. I was like, what show's Tony on? And first off, when we were doing scenes together, she would say Anthony and we would all turn to her and be like, huh?

• 1:07:53Dax Shepard?

  Right, right.

• 1:07:54Speaker 03

  And she said, oh, let me do this. I'll call you by your name, Anthony Starr. So every time she would say Anthony Starr, I would say huh? Because

• 1:07:59Dax Shepard?

  You're a star.

• 1:08:00Speaker 03

  I'm a star and I have no idea who the little southern motherfucker is. Sounds like she's talking to me. They just didn't notice his name. I was like, oh, my bad. So that still became my running joke. So she was like, yeah, Anthony Starr, you know, he has a show with The Boys. I was like, who the fuck is he on The Boys? I watch The Boys all the time. I was just watching it before I came here.

• 1:08:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:17Speaker 03

  He's Superman. I was, get the fuck out of here.

• 1:08:20Speaker 01

  Cause he just looks so different?

• 1:08:21Speaker 03

  We were doing press all day yesterday. I told him, I would say, hey, Tony, I had no idea you were who the fuck you were.

• 1:08:28Dax Shepard?

  Homelander.

• 1:08:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's on Homelander. I said, I had no idea who the fuck you were when we were working together.

• 1:08:34Dax Shepard?

  Even though you're a fan of The Boys?

• 1:08:35Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:08:36Dax Shepard?

  That is so funny.

• 1:08:37Speaker 03

  And he was like, what? I was like, dog, when I watch you on The Boys, you're seven feet tall to me, motherfucker.

• 1:08:43Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:43Speaker 03

  You're a fucking superhero. I was like, the way you are on that motherfucking show, it's not you.

• 1:08:50Speaker 03

  Who I worked with?

• 1:08:51Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:08:52Speaker 03

  And he was like, yeah, man.

• 1:08:53Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, out of context.

• 1:08:55Speaker 03

  And it's a testament to who he is as an actor.

• 1:08:57Dax Shepard?

  What he does on The Boys, the fact that that dude doesn't want an Emmy. I mean, what he's doing on The Boys is the bad guy and you feel bad for him sometimes.

• 1:09:04Speaker 03

  Yes, you do. It's like when I saw Fela on Broadway and I went backstage to meet the cast. And I was looking for the dude that played Fela and I forget his name. But I'm talking to him and as I'm talking to him, I keep looking behind him and looking around. Trying to find a dude before he leaves and shit. And then I realized it's him and then when I left, I was like, oh my God.

• 1:09:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:26Speaker 03

  Because he was a small, demure dude, but as Fela onstage, this motherfucker was larger than the fucking theater that they were in on Broadway. But when I went to meet him, he's just a regular dude and I was like, this motherfucker's phenomenal.

• 1:09:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, he's a magician.

• 1:09:40Speaker 03

  That's why I feel about Anthony Starks as motherfucking Homelander on The Boys.

• 1:09:44Dax Shepard?

  So, yeah, it looks fucking awesome, by the way. The trailer is outrageously good.

• 1:09:47Speaker 03

  Viola and I are ex-military and it's a big action film. You know, terrorists take over the G20 global summit that we're at. We end up kicking ass and getting our ass kicked throughout the film.

• 1:09:57Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, she's doing a ton of ass kicking.

• 1:09:59Speaker 03

  Wait till you see it. You're gonna be like, god damn.

• 1:10:01Dax Shepard?

  She's an action star.

• 1:10:02Speaker 03

  She is. It was amazing to be a part of and amazing to watch.

• 1:10:05Dax Shepard?

  Well, Anthony, I adore you. I have so much fun when I get to be around you.

• 1:10:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, this was great. We didn't get Lionel, but that's all right.

• 1:10:11Speaker 03

  I know.

• 1:10:12Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, TBD.

• 1:10:13Speaker 01

  You'll let us know if he calls you back.

• 1:10:15Speaker 03

  I'm gonna call him again, see if he's gonna pick up again.

• 1:10:16Speaker 01

  He's really gonna be worried.

• 1:10:18Speaker 03

  Let me see, did he send a text? Nope, he didn't send a text.

• 1:10:21Dax Shepard?

  You see how many he had to scroll through in the last two hours?

• 1:10:23Speaker 03

  I'm gonna call again. Hold on.

• 1:10:24Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, let's see.

• 1:10:25Speaker 03

  Let's see if Lionel Richie's gonna pick up. He never picks up the phone, though.

• 1:10:29Dax Shepard?

  He's earned the right not to pick up the phone.

• 1:10:31Speaker 03

  I've only spoken to him on the phone maybe twice in all the years, all the years that I've met him.

• 1:10:36Dax Shepard?

  You have the third time to be online.

• 1:10:37Speaker 03

  But I know where he lives. I know where he works.

• 1:10:40Speaker 04

  Your call has been forwarded to voicemail.

• 1:10:42Speaker 03

  Odd.

• 1:10:43Speaker 04

  The person you're trying to reach is not available.

• 1:10:44Speaker 03

  This motherfucker saw this call and sent me to voicemail. It only rang three times.

• 1:10:47Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:10:49Speaker 03

  It only rang three times. Hey, man, you better be shooting the voice right now, Lionel Richie. I'm still doing this podcast two and a half hours later. I don't know how the hell Dax Shepard got me fucking to do this podcast for two and a half hours. It's only supposed to be for 40 minutes, but we're still trying to reach you.

• 1:11:03Dax Shepard?

  And we're not gonna end this interview until we talk to you.

• 1:11:07Speaker 03

  Lionel, please call me back and not let me out of the room until you call back. I love you, Lionel.

• 1:11:14Dax Shepard?

  Well, we've done all we can. We've done all that can be done.

• 1:11:19Speaker 01

  You know, we're gonna do a fact check for this episode next week or in a couple of weeks. So by then, he will probably have called you back and you can relay what happened.

• 1:11:27Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, see what happens.

• 1:11:29Speaker 03

  I did that with Oprah on Jimmy's show once.

• 1:11:31Speaker 01

  And she picked up?

• 1:11:31Speaker 03

  She didn't pick up.

• 1:11:32Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:11:35Dax Shepard?

  We can't.

• 1:11:36Speaker 03

  I don't want to be wasting my calls.

• 1:11:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:11:39Speaker 03

  There are only a certain amount of calls people like that pick up from you.

• 1:11:41Dax Shepard?

  Even selfishly for me, I don't want that bridge to be burnt on my behalf. Anthony, adore you. Thanks for coming.

• 1:11:48Speaker 03

  Thank you. Nice meeting you, Arka.

• 1:11:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, very nice to meet you. This is so fun.

• 1:11:53Speaker 05

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare.

• 1:12:00Dax Shepard?

  We get support from Skims. Okay, I have a confession. I genuinely love matching pajamas. It's the best part of Christmas morning, really. Everyone in the same matching set, looking ridiculously cute in front of the tree.

• 1:12:15Speaker 01

  I love matching pajamas. I'm literally gonna be in coordinating sets with all my friends this holiday season. Because I got them, spoiler to my friends who are listening, the same Skims pajama set I've been living in. They are so soft and cozy and they look cute. So you can leave the house and go get a late night hot chocolate and be cozy.

• 1:12:36Dax Shepard?

  It's so great how Skims has sets for everyone, too. Women's, men's, kids, even your pets. So nobody in your life has to be left out this year.

• 1:12:45Speaker 01

  I have a bunch of different pajama sets. One of my favorite is the organic cotton sleep long sleeve set.

• 1:12:52Dax Shepard?

  Okay, tell me more.

• 1:12:54Speaker 01

  It is so comfortable, very chic, too. The top is a button down, but very, very soft, easy to sleep in. But as I said before, you can multipurpose this and look super cute.

• 1:13:05Dax Shepard?

  Hot chocolate runs. It's like the pajamas we grew up in, except without the scratchy polyester that made opening presents feel more like a hot yoga class that nobody signed up for.

• 1:13:15Speaker 01

  All the nostalgia, none of the discomfort. Shop my favorite loungewear and pajamas at skims.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcasts in the survey and be sure to select Armchair Expert in the dropdown menu that follows. If you're looking for the perfect gifts for everyone on your list, the Skims Holiday Shop is now open at skims.com.

• 1:13:34Dax Shepard?

  We are supported by Squarespace. So here's something I think about a lot. Most people I talk to on this show, the ones doing really interesting things, they all had a version of their work that existed before anyone else saw it. It was just theirs, notes, ideas, projects they were tinkering with. And then at some point, they made the decision to share it. That's the part that's scary, right? Going from, I'm working on something to here's what I made. Rob went through the exact same thing, building our site on Squarespace. And what made it doable was that he didn't have to become a web developer overnight. He just had to show up with the idea. Squarespace handles the rest. Beautiful templates that actually look like you hired someone, built in SEO, so people can find you, email campaigns, scheduling, analytics, all under one roof. No code, no patchwork of random tools.

• 1:14:18Dax Shepard?

  And honestly, the thing I keep coming back to is how low the barrier is. If you've got something you've been building quietly and you're ready for people to see it, Squarespace makes that leap feel a lot less traumatic. Head to Squarespace.com/dax for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code DAX to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. This episode is brought to you by Dell. Gifts mean more when they have the power to give more. They can inspire more discovery, give more confidence and unwrap more of who you are. This Black Friday, give a gift that goes beyond the box. The Dell XPS 13 laptop. With a beautiful design and cutting edge performance, it helps you unlock more possibilities.

• 1:15:03Dax Shepard?

  It's the thinnest, lightest XPS laptop yet. With touchscreen, a backlit keyboard and long lasting battery life to power you through your day. Built with a durable aluminum chassis, weighing just 2.2 pounds and Intel Core processors. It's fast, reliable and portable enough to keep up wherever you go. Visit dell.com to explore the possibilities of XPS. While shopping, you'll also find great perks like Dell Rewards. Fast free shipping, premium support and financing with flexible payment options. Plus, you can find great deals on monitors and accessories. That means you can score a whole new setup now for less. This Black Friday sale is one you don't want to miss. Head to dell.com/deals. That's dell.com/deals.

• 1:15:51Dax Shepard?

  This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Every family has that one holiday tradition nobody actually enjoys, but everyone keeps doing because stopping it would feel like a federal offense. For me, it was a specific meal situation that I will not name because my family listens. But at some point, you have to ask yourself, am I doing this because I love it? Or because I'm afraid of what happens if I don't?

• 1:16:14Speaker 01

  Yes, and that question applies to so much more than the holidays. I think a lot of us carry these invisible rules about how we're supposed to spend the holidays, who we're supposed to see, what it's supposed to look like. And when you start unpacking that with a therapist, you realize half of your stress is coming from rules you didn't even write.

• 1:16:30Dax Shepard?

  This is where BetterHelp can be a great resource during the holidays. BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences, which means they typically get it right the first time. If you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time from their tailored recs.

• 1:16:49Speaker 01

  I just love therapy. I've been avoiding it recently, or not avoiding it, but I was like, oh, I'm busy, I'm busy, I'm busy. I have to cancel, cancel, cancel, but then I-

• 1:16:57Dax Shepard?

  You start feeling it.

• 1:16:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, because then I had it this past weekend and I was like, oh my God. And just thank God, thank God for her. Yeah.

• 1:17:05Dax Shepard?

  BetterHelp is now in-network with more than 125 health plans, with many copays as low as $15 for eligible members. And if you don't have eligible insurance or live outside the US, you can still get 20% off your first month. Sign up and get 20% off at betterhelp.com/dax. That's betterhelp, H E L P, dot com slash DAX.

• 1:17:31Speaker 06

  He's an arm care expert, but he makes mistakes all the time. Thank God Monica's here. She's gonna let him have the facts.

• 1:17:40Dax Shepard?

  You have to pretend, this is gonna be a big challenge.

• 1:17:44Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:17:44Dax Shepard?

  You have to do your best acting of your life. You have to pretend you don't know I wore this outfit yet.

• 1:17:50Speaker 01

  Great outfit!

• 1:17:52Dax Shepard?

  Oh, really good job. Moving on. Next thing, we're on the wrong set.

• 1:18:00Dax Shepard?

  There's some cheesy sayings.

• 1:18:01Speaker 01

  Is that a new outfit? I really like it.

• 1:18:04Dax Shepard?

  I was wearing, well, now you're so good. Wow, this is really good. Now I'm convinced you didn't see me yesterday.

• 1:18:11Speaker 01

  I saw you.

• 1:18:12Dax Shepard?

  I see you.

• 1:18:15Dax Shepard?

  There are some corny sayings on sets.

• 1:18:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:17Dax Shepard?

  Some of them I like them.

• 1:18:19Speaker 01

  Which one's your favorite?

• 1:18:20Dax Shepard?

  So if you're like filming, you're filming four scenes that day and you're gonna be in Crosby's bedroom and then the next scene's gonna be in the living room.

• 1:18:27Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:18:27Dax Shepard?

  You like do the scene they yell cut. You don't really know what they're saying at the monitor. Are we gonna go again?

• 1:18:33Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:18:33Dax Shepard?

  Do we get it right? And then occasionally 80s will go, okay, we're on the wrong set. That means we did it. It's time to leave the bedroom.

• 1:18:42Speaker 01

  Sexy.

• 1:18:42Dax Shepard?

  And go to the next set. And I like that one.

• 1:18:45Speaker 01

  My favorite.

• 1:18:46Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:46Speaker 01

  My favorite set term is martini shot.

• 1:18:50Dax Shepard?

  Oh, sure.

• 1:18:51Speaker 01

  That's the last shot of the day.

• 1:18:52Dax Shepard?

  And do you know the origin of that one?

• 1:18:54Speaker 01

  They'd probably get martinis.

• 1:18:55Dax Shepard?

  I think specifically Hitchcock would always have a martini.

• 1:19:00Speaker 01

  During the last shot of the day.

• 1:19:01Dax Shepard?

  During the last setup, yeah.

• 1:19:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, so if you're like checking it, if you have friends who are on set and you're like, how much longer do you have?

• 1:19:08Dax Shepard?

  We're on the martini.

• 1:19:09Speaker 01

  We're on the martini. It's like what you wanna hear.

• 1:19:12Dax Shepard?

  I have a bit of anxiety about this fact check.

• 1:19:14Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:19:15Dax Shepard?

  There's so much to get through.

• 1:19:16Speaker 01

  We have a lot to get through, but we have, we can't do it all today.

• 1:19:19Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:19:19Speaker 01

  You just have to take, you just have to have peace.

• 1:19:22Dax Shepard?

  Okay, just, I hope people are patient with me if there's multiple Hawaii updates.

• 1:19:26Speaker 01

  Over time.

• 1:19:27Dax Shepard?

  Over, they're being leaked out, yeah.

• 1:19:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, cuz.

• 1:19:31Dax Shepard?

  You had a trip.

• 1:19:32Speaker 01

  We both had trips. I had, I have a big, people think I went to New York.

• 1:19:38Dax Shepard?

  I'm trying. Yeah, that didn't get through, right?

• 1:19:40Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:19:41Dax Shepard?

  Okay, right. You did not go to New York.

• 1:19:43Speaker 01

  Yes, I had a trip planned for New York and.

• 1:19:46Dax Shepard?

  Then White Lotus.

• 1:19:47Speaker 01

  People, yeah, cuz we, we had a whole conversation about Buddhism and I said, oh no, what am I gonna do? I'm about to go to New York. That's not a place for me to be very Buddhist. And you said, you should be Buddhist when you get back.

• 1:19:59Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:59Speaker 01

  And um, I, I first delayed my trip a day.

• 1:20:05Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:06Speaker 01

  And I was like, I'll just need to get my work done and then I'll feel good. I'll feel ready to go.

• 1:20:10Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:20:11Speaker 01

  And then I, I still didn't and I canceled my trip.

• 1:20:15Dax Shepard?

  And you know what's interesting is when you announced that to me.

• 1:20:17Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 1:20:18Dax Shepard?

  At first I was like, I didn't like it for you.

• 1:20:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:21Dax Shepard?

  Cause I, I was worried your anxiety got the best of you. Like you had some anxiety and I, I wanted you to have that fun trip and I know you love New York.

• 1:20:29Speaker 01

  Yes, the most.

• 1:20:30Dax Shepard?

  But now on the other side of it, I think you listened to yourself.

• 1:20:33Speaker 01

  I did.

• 1:20:34Dax Shepard?

  And it was the right thing to do.

• 1:20:35Speaker 01

  It was.

• 1:20:36Dax Shepard?

  And you still had your spectacular trip with Callie.

• 1:20:38Speaker 01

  I had a little girls' trip with Callie, couple day trip that was, that yes, we will, we will talk about over the next 10 weeks.

• 1:20:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Over, over Q, ending Q2. Yeah.

• 1:20:49Speaker 01

  That was so, so delightful and fun. And that was already on the books. I was gonna do both and it just felt, it didn't feel, I just knew, I was like, it's not right. I'm not supposed to go.

• 1:20:58Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:58Speaker 01

  Run around the city for the next four days and I just need to like.

• 1:21:03Dax Shepard?

  Now would you.

• 1:21:04Speaker 01

  Be for a little bit.

• 1:21:04Dax Shepard?

  Are you so selfish that you would have preferred that the flight crashed on the way to New York?

• 1:21:09Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:21:09Dax Shepard?

  Just so you could say, oh my God, I knew.

• 1:21:11Speaker 01

  How dare you.

• 1:21:12Dax Shepard?

  I knew not to take that flight.

• 1:21:13Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:21:15Dax Shepard?

  I bet there's someone that's bad enough.

• 1:21:16Speaker 01

  I, that's really.

• 1:21:18Dax Shepard?

  It's as bad as it gets.

• 1:21:19Speaker 01

  Bad of a person. If you have that thought, I'm not judging.

• 1:21:23Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:21:23Speaker 01

  Cause Buddhists don't do that.

• 1:21:24Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:21:25Speaker 01

  But um, you need to get some help. You need to get yourself into therapy. Quick.

• 1:21:29Dax Shepard?

  Well, you would definitely if you canceled the flight and then you saw on the news it crashed, you would have an enormous burst of gratitude.

• 1:21:35Speaker 01

  Relief, yes. But not like, oh, I knew it and.

• 1:21:40Dax Shepard?

  The dark.

• 1:21:41Speaker 01

  I might, okay.

• 1:21:42Dax Shepard?

  Uh oh.

• 1:21:43Speaker 01

  I wonder, I wonder if there would be a part of me that's like, oh my God, I have powers.

• 1:21:49Dax Shepard?

  Yes, you would. Everyone would. You, well, you would, I don't know that you'd say you have powers, but you'd say, well, now I have to really take seriously that the universe sends me signals.

• 1:21:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:21:59Dax Shepard?

  And I need to listen.

• 1:22:00Speaker 01

  Remember.

• 1:22:02Speaker 01

  There's a famous actress that I thought of at random.

• 1:22:07Dax Shepard?

  And we just got resolution on that last

• 1:22:09Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:22:09Dax Shepard?

  week. It was diabetes related.

• 1:22:12Speaker 01

  It was Michelle Trachtenberg. Very sad, very, very sad. And yeah, it seems like it was a diabetes complication, which I hate to do this. This seems really flippant, but that's a ding ding ding.

• 1:22:23Dax Shepard?

  Oh, no.

• 1:22:25Speaker 01

  I know, because this is for Anthony Anderson.

• 1:22:27Dax Shepard?

  Oh, when he's diabetic.

• 1:22:29Speaker 01

  And we talk a lot about it and how complications are really serious.

• 1:22:32Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's diabetes. I just sent Aaron ding ding ding. I just sent Aaron. There is a remix. A DJ made a mix of the diabetes commercials. And it's pretty good. And maybe I'll play it later at some point in this.

• 1:22:49Speaker 01

  Speaking of something else bad, I'm sure you've heard about Eric Dane.

• 1:22:53Dax Shepard?

  That he has.

• 1:22:54Speaker 01

  ALS.

• 1:22:55Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I've seen him. It's heartbreaking.

• 1:22:57Speaker 01

  That's so sad.

• 1:22:59Dax Shepard?

  That's in the news now?

• 1:23:00Speaker 01

  Yeah. I figured you might have known from meetings, but like.

• 1:23:04Dax Shepard?

  No, it really breaks my heart because when he was here, obviously, his. Well, he didn't know what it was yet, right? His arm was kind of atrophying. And he thought he had a virus and he's seen specialists. And yeah, it's a real fucking bummer. It really breaks my heart. I hate it.

• 1:23:24Speaker 01

  I know, I know.

• 1:23:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Did you say anything about the Pope yesterday?

• 1:23:27Speaker 01

  The Pope died? I thought it was today.

• 1:23:29Dax Shepard?

  Oh, God, you know. No, I meant jinxing his death.

• 1:23:32Speaker 01

  Huh?

• 1:23:33Dax Shepard?

  I meant, did you jinx his death?

• 1:23:34Speaker 01

  Oh, oh, oh, no. Well, kind of. We had David Sedaris on and we were talking about the Pope. Although he was already quite ill at that time.

• 1:23:46Dax Shepard?

  Been hanging on by a bit of a thread.

• 1:23:48Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 1:23:48Dax Shepard?

  But is, so he, he died on Easter?

• 1:23:51Speaker 01

  Today he died. He made it through the Rising.

• 1:23:54Dax Shepard?

  I guess if I were a Pope. And I had it my way and they said, you're gonna die this month.

• 1:24:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24:01Dax Shepard?

  I'd like to go on Friday, on Good Friday.

• 1:24:03Speaker 01

  On Good Friday, when Jesus died.

• 1:24:06Dax Shepard?

  Passed. You say passed?

• 1:24:08Speaker 01

  Excuse me. Passed.

• 1:24:09Dax Shepard?

  Be respectful.

• 1:24:10Speaker 01

  Um, yeah, so then you're.

• 1:24:12Dax Shepard?

  That's a lot of doom and gloom, though.

• 1:24:14Speaker 01

  Sorry, but this is life. Life is happy and sad all at once.

• 1:24:17Dax Shepard?

  You're right. You're right. You're right.

• 1:24:19Speaker 01

  Um, all right.

• 1:24:20Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:24:21Speaker 01

  Okay, we can move on to something happy.

• 1:24:23Dax Shepard?

  So I did take my trip.

• 1:24:24Speaker 01

  Yes, you did.

• 1:24:25Dax Shepard?

  I took, uh, Lincoln Delta and I, Hawaii eight days.

• 1:24:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, you did a, you did a solo trip with your girls.

• 1:24:33Dax Shepard?

  The headline is incredible trip.

• 1:24:37Speaker 01

  Great.

• 1:24:37Dax Shepard?

  I'll remember it. I'll be on my deathbed and I'll go.

• 1:24:40Speaker 01

  I did that.

• 1:24:41Dax Shepard?

  I'm proud of you.

• 1:24:43Speaker 01

  Okay, so that's interesting. So you're gonna say.

• 1:24:45Dax Shepard?

  Anyone like that, but I'll tell you why it's okay to like it.

• 1:24:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24:49Dax Shepard?

  Or why I think it's okay to like it. Cause I was talking with a friend from AA. And there are things in life that give me esteem, self-esteem, and there are things that take away self-esteem.

• 1:24:59Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:24:59Dax Shepard?

  And so, and, and they're, you know, they're pretty correlated with challenge.

• 1:25:05Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:25:06Dax Shepard?

  Right?

• 1:25:07Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:25:07Dax Shepard?

  But it was, it was just an incredible trip. It definitely had its challenges. I might have been a little naive.

• 1:25:14Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:25:15Dax Shepard?

  Okay. And I was wrestling with that.

• 1:25:16Speaker 01

  What were you expecting? Okay, cause this is an expectations lesson as well.

• 1:25:20Dax Shepard?

  I guess I was misled because when Kristen has gone away to film, which has happened throughout the child, their childhood, it always goes really well. I do very well with the two of them by myself.

• 1:25:34Dax Shepard?

  And I was underestimating, like, we have our routine. They go to places, they're, they're in their house, they can separate.

• 1:25:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:25:40Dax Shepard?

  And so I was a little naive and I've taken trips with them solo and those are always.

• 1:25:44Speaker 01

  Individually.

• 1:25:45Dax Shepard?

  And those are truly kind of effortless and fun. It's just like being with a buddy. But this was, you know, there were days where one of them was mad at the other.

• 1:25:53Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:25:54Dax Shepard?

  For the whole day, the first few days. And I started getting a little, little nervous.

• 1:25:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:25:59Dax Shepard?

  And then I was, and this is kind of funny. This is one of the many stories. So. My mother would have, I know what she would have done because she did it many times. We'd be on a vacation, we'd be acting like assholes. Also, it gave me so much fucking respect for my mother's whole-

• 1:26:15Speaker 01

  Single parenthood.

• 1:26:16Dax Shepard?

  Single parent, three kids. Oh my God, God bless Laura LeBeau. I sent her a message going, you know what? I need to just tell you, you're, you're a warrior and I admire you.

• 1:26:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:26Dax Shepard?

  But her move was, guys, we're going home tomorrow morning.

• 1:26:31Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:26:32Dax Shepard?

  There were a lot of those speeches.

• 1:26:33Speaker 01

  Threats.

• 1:26:34Dax Shepard?

  Yes, and by the way, they weren't threats.

• 1:26:35Speaker 01

  They weren't empty threats.

• 1:26:37Dax Shepard?

  My mom, I almost said my wife.

• 1:26:40Speaker 01

  Very Freudian slip.

• 1:26:42Dax Shepard?

  My mom, we had some rules in the house. There was no begging, period.

• 1:26:47Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:26:47Dax Shepard?

  Now, you already know this, but she did not play begging. And there, we left many a places where we had put a lot of effort into it and we had driven there and we didn't get our shit together. She said, this happens again, we're, we're going home. And we did. She, she never made empty threats.

• 1:27:00Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:27:02Dax Shepard?

  So I'm remembering, like, first of all, I'm feeling that. I'm like, I'm, I'm gonna tell them.

• 1:27:08Speaker 01

  We're going home.

• 1:27:09Dax Shepard?

  I, we're going, we're gonna go home.

• 1:27:11Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:27:11Dax Shepard?

  And then I'm saying, you must, you must do a little, you must grow a little bit from what you were given.

• 1:27:16Speaker 01

  Okay, yeah.

• 1:27:17Dax Shepard?

  And so it was a moment where it was like, we tried to go snorkeling, maybe the third attempt. One of them always had a thing, I got stabbed by a sea urchin.

• 1:27:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:27Dax Shepard?

  Um, and it was another failed attempt and then the fight. And then I was, I was in my head, I'm like, I'm telling them we're gonna go home. And then I'm like, I'm gonna meditate. I'm gonna sit on this lawn chair and I'm gonna meditate because I want to be the best version of myself. And I am gonna confront this. I else, I am not gonna have five days more of fighting.

• 1:27:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:44Dax Shepard?

  But I gotta do it in a very healthy way. And I'm, I'm about 12 minutes into my 20 minute meditation. And while I'm meditating, I hear a blood curdling screaming. And I'm thinking, I'm like, oh fuck, some, some parents gotta do-

• 1:27:57Speaker 01

  Oh no.

• 1:27:58Dax Shepard?

  Someone's deal with something. And then the scream's getting louder and louder, louder and louder until it's obviously five feet from me. And I open my eyes and I look and my sweet little delty is fucking covered. Blood like I don't even know where to begin to guess.

• 1:28:15Speaker 01

  That is so scary.

• 1:28:17Dax Shepard?

  Yes, and she has at least four hotel employees trailing her because they're obviously scared for her. God knows what liability fears they're having.

• 1:28:27Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:28:27Dax Shepard?

  They want us to go in an ambulance to be, you know, I mean, virtually they want us to be as safe as humanly possible. But I know my Delta, what she needs immediately is everyone to leave.

• 1:28:37Speaker 01

  Yep, yep, yep, yeah. She doesn't like that.

• 1:28:40Dax Shepard?

  Embarrassment would hurt more than, right? The attention hurts.

• 1:28:43Speaker 01

  She got that from me.

• 1:28:44Dax Shepard?

  She got that from you. So, you know, it's okay, come here, you know, trying to get a calm, calm, calm.

• 1:28:51Speaker 01

  Are you looking for where?

• 1:28:52Dax Shepard?

  No, I know right now we need to like, we need to go from 15 to 10 so that I can then say, okay, mama, let me, let me take a look and just see what we're dealing with. So as it turned out, it was just a lip. But it was good enough that as she was screaming and crying, it was like on her arms and whatever. I knew it was serious, but also you never really know, right? Because they, they all, they kind of have this reaction to most every injury.

• 1:29:15Speaker 01

  So you weren't scared?

• 1:29:17Dax Shepard?

  I wasn't scared.

• 1:29:18Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:29:19Dax Shepard?

  Um, no, I'm like, this isn't emergency level trauma. The bleeding has stopped. We don't need stitches.

• 1:29:27Speaker 01

  But you weren't worried about like a hemorrhage?

• 1:29:30Dax Shepard?

  I wasn't.

• 1:29:31Speaker 01

  You aren't watching enough ER, but okay.

• 1:29:32Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, had I just done

• 1:29:34Speaker 01

  Or the pit.

• 1:29:34Dax Shepard?

  35 hours of the pit in the ER, maybe. And we get her all calmed up. Now, this is where I'll give D money a lot of credit. As the next few days were on, especially day three after this thing, I'm looking at her and I go, sweetheart. Well, and she told me, she goes, Daddy, I didn't even put my hands out. She fell, she slipped on the concrete next to the pool. And she said, I didn't even put my hands out, which I kind of was like, I bet she put them out a little bit. She's not lying. She felt directly on her face. So a few days later, she had a black and blue cheek, black and blue chin. She whacked her face so bad. Anywho,

• 1:30:16Dax Shepard?

  I did make this speech. It was a very gentle version and everyone got their shit together. It was a big turn. We still had stuff. You're gonna have stuff.

• 1:30:26Speaker 01

  You're gonna have stuff.

• 1:30:27Dax Shepard?

  But there was a reset and I really appreciated it.

• 1:30:30Speaker 01

  What did you say?

• 1:30:30Dax Shepard?

  I said, it is very hard for me to be on this trip with one of you really mad at any given time. One of you is very, very mad. And I said, and I want to be able to take you on these trips of mom's working. And I have to be honest, next year comes around, if it continues like this, I'm not sure I'm gonna take this trip again. Not we're going home, still a threat. I don't know, people probably think that was bad parenting, whatever. They did hear, oh, we're not entitled to these trips if we act like assholes. He's saying, I can't, I'm basically saying, I can't handle it. Okay, so that's a great reset. Let's not even talk about just single parent, the sunblock routine when you're in Hawaii. Because it's like every 40 minutes, they gotta slather their whole body. Almost my full time.

• 1:31:13Speaker 01

  I'm glad you did it.

• 1:31:14Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I did. I'm like, if I bring them home, sunburnt, that's a, that's a wrap. That's hard to defend. We go to dinner that night and I'm, I'm now feeling, I'm feeling like a failure. I'm like, I should be able to coordinate some kind of peaceful fun. We're in paradise at a beautiful hotel. You know, it should be easy. Should be. And so I'm, I'm not gonna blame a 12 and a 10 year old. I'm like, I'm not managing something correctly.

• 1:31:45Dax Shepard?

  And I was so relieved that as we were at these dinners, we were eavesdropping. And I want to tell you, shit's going down on all family vacations. That was comforting. That's standard family vacation. People fight, you think you're gonna go to paradise and everyone's gonna be so grateful the whole time. That's not what happens.

• 1:32:00Speaker 01

  Not how it works.

• 1:32:02Dax Shepard?

  No, you're in a smaller space. You have to compromise on schedules way more and you get what you sow.

• 1:32:07Speaker 01

  When I went on my girls' trip.

• 1:32:08Dax Shepard?

  Yes, you and Kelly.

• 1:32:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, we went, we went to Napa.

• 1:32:13Dax Shepard?

  Wine country, if you don't know.

• 1:32:14Speaker 01

  Wine country, yes.

• 1:32:15Dax Shepard?

  California.

• 1:32:16Speaker 01

  And um.

• 1:32:17Dax Shepard?

  In food country.

• 1:32:18Speaker 01

  Well, exactly. And turns out shopping country a little bit. They had some really cute shopping. Um, we were just there for two nights. It was a quick trip, but we did so much and we stayed at the Albert du Soleil. I don't know if that's how you.

• 1:32:39Dax Shepard?

  I love a hotel that I can't pronounce.

• 1:32:41Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. Um, and I love an Albert Hotel. That's a, that's a line of hotels. I've talked about the one in Austin before, Commodore Perry.

• 1:32:49Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, very cool.

• 1:32:50Speaker 01

  Gorgeous. Very cool.

• 1:32:51Dax Shepard?

  We have visited you there. Yeah.

• 1:32:53Speaker 01

  Yeah. And it's beautiful. And um, this one was ex- it was so stunning and exquisite and.

• 1:33:02Dax Shepard?

  Well, they got, they got my attention because they lent you guys.

• 1:33:08Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:33:09Dax Shepard?

  An electric G-Wagon.

• 1:33:10Speaker 01

  Well, they, not us.

• 1:33:11Dax Shepard?

  They have that.

• 1:33:12Speaker 01

  A lot, a fleet of Mercedes, different Mercedes that they loan out to the guests. You just have to like, you know, sign a waiver and you can take it out.

• 1:33:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. In wine country.

• 1:33:23Speaker 01

  I know, which is a little like, wow. I was like, this is so nice. Cause it's, cause things are a bit, things aren't like five minutes away from each other. You'd have to drive a little bit.

• 1:33:35Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:35Speaker 01

  And um, and it's a pay like to Uber everywhere or to have a driver. So um, and we only did one winery. So we weren't like bopping around from winery to winery. But anyway, it was such a nice amenity and I did feel, cause she was.

• 1:33:49Dax Shepard?

  And I urged you to make the car, the car will do a 365 degree turn like a tank.

• 1:33:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:33:55Dax Shepard?

  And I really wanted you guys to do that. And you said you might find a parking lot.

• 1:33:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:33:58Dax Shepard?

  And try it. And then you told me you didn't.

• 1:34:00Speaker 01

  We didn't have time.

• 1:34:01Dax Shepard?

  You definitely had time to do a 360, but I understand.

• 1:34:04Speaker 01

  We didn't have time for that. But it was, we were like excited to try the G-Wagon. Callie drove it and she did a great job. And turns out there were a couple, well, I ran into many armchairs on the trip and again, everyone was so incredible. One, one I had a kind of regretful encounter with, not regretful, but we, Callie and I were in the little like shopping area, St. Helena. And we went into this little coffee shop just to get a coffee. And we were waiting for the coffee. The place was pretty crowded. But like, we didn't think that much of it. We were waiting for the coffee and there was an armcherry sitting there and she said, hey Monica, you know, I love the show, whatever.

• 1:34:47Speaker 01

  And she, and I was like, oh, are you, are you from here? And they weren't. They were, I for, oh god, I'm sorry, I forget. I want to say Chicago.

• 1:34:56Dax Shepard?

  That sounds right.

• 1:34:57Speaker 01

  Cause of Rob.

• 1:34:58Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:59Speaker 01

  And they, and she was like, no, we're just on the ship. Gotta, had to get the English muffin. And I was like, yeah. And she like, kind of pointed to her food a little bit, but I didn't really know what she was talking about, but of course.

• 1:35:14Dax Shepard?

  Well, I would have thought, oh, this place is known for their English muffin. I better get one.

• 1:35:18Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, but it didn't, I wasn't getting that vibe. I was just like, oh, okay.

• 1:35:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:25Speaker 01

  And then I did feel embarrassed because I should know.

• 1:35:29Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:30Speaker 01

  I should know about English muffins and fancy foods and stuff. So anyway, I ran out of there as fast as I could.

• 1:35:36Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:35:37Speaker 01

  And then.

• 1:35:38Dax Shepard?

  Covering your head in shame.

• 1:35:39Speaker 01

  The next day when we were about to, when we were leaving, the morning we took out the G-Wagon, we went to Yountville, which is the food area, where French Laundry is and all these other, Bouchon, all these things. The person working at the front desk, Phoebe.

• 1:35:53Dax Shepard?

  Oh, there we go.

• 1:35:53Speaker 01

  And I'll circle back to Phoebe.

• 1:35:55Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:35:55Speaker 01

  Um, she, she told Callie that there was a place in Yountville known for their English muffins and that we should go. And it was called like mini, according to Callie, Mini Model, but I don't know if that's right.

• 1:36:09Dax Shepard?

  She got it right?

• 1:36:09Speaker 01

  Yeah. So we go there and then we're in line and Callie was like, oh, I think that coffee shop we went to was just Model. Like, this is a version of that, like a, another little small version. And I was like, this makes total sense what the armcherry was saying about the English muffin. Yeah.

• 1:36:29Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, okay.

• 1:36:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:36:30Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:36:31Speaker 01

  So anyway, this armcherry was in the know. Apparently it's like Oprah's favorite English muffin. And it was insane.

• 1:36:38Dax Shepard?

  It was.

• 1:36:39Speaker 01

  Oh my god, it was so good. Poor Callie, she's gluten free. She has celiac. So she couldn't have it.

• 1:36:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Did she even play the game in her head like, oh, sourdough's got less?

• 1:36:49Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:36:49Dax Shepard?

  She didn't even make it.

• 1:36:50Speaker 01

  She said. She said, when she was looking at it, she was like, if I was going to cheat, she's like, which I never would, because it's not like.

• 1:36:58Dax Shepard?

  Mine.

• 1:36:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, and a lot of people.

• 1:37:00Dax Shepard?

  I can live with my.

• 1:37:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, she'll be on the ground.

• 1:37:03Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:03Speaker 01

  She's like, that might be, that would be the one, even though she's not gonna do it. Anyway, she got some for Max. Max loved them.

• 1:37:10Dax Shepard?

  Oh, he did. And he's a chef, for people who don't know.

• 1:37:12Speaker 01

  Exactly, he's a chef. So this all circles back, right?

• 1:37:14Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:37:15Speaker 01

  This is relevant, because when we first got to the hotel, there was two, like, freshly batched cocktails.

• 1:37:26Dax Shepard?

  Ah.

• 1:37:26Speaker 01

  With my name and Callie's name.

• 1:37:28Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:29Speaker 01

  And they were called Cherry on Top.

• 1:37:32Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:32Speaker 01

  And I was like, is this a weird sim?

• 1:37:35Dax Shepard?

  Is it a wink?

• 1:37:36Speaker 01

  Or is it a wink? Is it a sim or is it a wink? I don't know, but I don't wanna, like.

• 1:37:40Dax Shepard?

  You're, you wanna mind your ego, not assume.

• 1:37:43Speaker 01

  Exactly. I was like, I think it's, I don't think so.

• 1:37:46Dax Shepard?

  Get over yourself.

• 1:37:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, but it had like these.

• 1:37:49Dax Shepard?

  The word cherry existed before your podcast.

• 1:37:50Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:37:51Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:37:51Speaker 01

  And it had two little cocktail glasses with two, like, cherries. It was so, so cute. Also, the cocktail was incredible.

• 1:37:57Dax Shepard?

  Oh, did you text Burt?

• 1:38:00Speaker 01

  Oh, fuck, I gotta text Burt.

• 1:38:02Dax Shepard?

  You need to.

• 1:38:02Speaker 01

  I need to text Burt.

• 1:38:03Dax Shepard?

  It'll be a three-way text, but.

• 1:38:05Speaker 01

  He DM'd me, Burt Kreischer.

• 1:38:07Dax Shepard?

  Burt Kreischer. But he's not allowed to be on a text with a woman, which is hilarious.

• 1:38:10Speaker 01

  He's a, I have to read this stuff.

• 1:38:11Dax Shepard?

  So I have to be on any communication between the two of you.

• 1:38:15Speaker 01

  You do.

• 1:38:15Dax Shepard?

  What would be incredible is if you guys did start a huge affair, and it was just in front of me, and I'm like, well, I don't know how this helped. Now I just have to observe this whole thing. What if, because I was there, he was, felt free to just?

• 1:38:28Speaker 01

  Go nuts.

• 1:38:29Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:29Speaker 01

  And say so much dirty shit.

• 1:38:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, like, I think about your body all the time. What did I say? It was all the same.

• 1:38:35Speaker 01

  What, Dax was on there? It was fine.

• 1:38:37Dax Shepard?

  Okay, anyways, go ahead.

• 1:38:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, okay, so yeah, when Burt was on this show, we had a whole cocktail conversation. We told each other what to have. He got, I told him to get a bee's knees. He told me to get a shot of Fernet.

• 1:38:48Dax Shepard?

  And Campari.

• 1:38:49Speaker 01

  And then also separately Campari spritz. Okay, then Jess, Anna, and I went to Little Dom's, and I did get the Fernet.

• 1:38:56Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:57Speaker 01

  We all had it, so I posted a picture of this, right?

• 1:38:59Dax Shepard?

  And he liked it? And did he, and he responded?

• 1:39:00Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:39:01Dax Shepard?

  Oh, good.

• 1:39:01Speaker 01

  He responded, he says, I have to get you drunk on my cooking show.

• 1:39:04Dax Shepard?

  Ah.

• 1:39:05Speaker 01

  Lots of exclamation points, and then he responded, that sounded creepy.

• 1:39:08Dax Shepard?

  Where's Dax?

• 1:39:10Speaker 01

  He said, "That sounded creepy. We have to get drunk on my cooking show." Which is very, very funny. Yeah, I like that he's aware of not being creepy. I think that's a great thing.

• 1:39:23Dax Shepard?

  I do too.

• 1:39:24Speaker 01

  Anywho, so I need to send Bert that cocktail. He'll love it.

• 1:39:27Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:39:28Speaker 01

  But anyway, so I was like, "Well, maybe it was a wink, but probably not. Probably just something sweet they do." And still, that could be the case. But then there was this cute little card they wrote, and I didn't really understand it at first.

• 1:39:41Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:42Speaker 01

  Because there were two hats for Callie and I that they had given us, and then there was a little note that said something along the lines of, "Here's some hats so you can be," in quotes, "a new Monica." And then I forgot that we had just talked about hats on the fact check.

• 1:39:58Dax Shepard?

  And that you're a new Monica.

• 1:40:00Speaker 01

  I felt like a new Monica when I wear them. So we did have some Arm Cherry fans who worked at the Abbeirs, and it was really, really sweet. And I do believe one of them was Phoebe.

• 1:40:10Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:40:11Speaker 01

  And she was just so lovely. So I wanted to shout out Phoebe. Oh, and then, oh yes, because Callie went to the front. I slept in on the last day.

• 1:40:18Dax Shepard?

  Oh, good for you.

• 1:40:19Speaker 01

  And Callie went to the front, and she was doing all these arrangements for the car and the this. And she said, "So who did that cocktail?" And then she said Phoebe got really red. And then Callie was like, "Oh, no." She got worried that she felt...

• 1:40:35Dax Shepard?

  That you're...

• 1:40:36Speaker 01

  I was embarrassed or something.

• 1:40:38Dax Shepard?

  Sure.

• 1:40:39Speaker 01

  And so she...

• 1:40:39Dax Shepard?

  Do you say Monica won't leave the room?

• 1:40:41Speaker 01

  That's why she's not here. She's really upset. It's nothing to do with the fact that she sleeps 12 hours a night.

• 1:40:49Dax Shepard?

  Lazy bum.

• 1:40:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, so she, so, and Callie said, "I'm just..." It was just so sweet, and we are so appreciative.

• 1:40:58Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, Monica loved it. That's not why she's not here.

• 1:41:01Speaker 01

  Yeah. And then, and Phoebe said, "Well, we have, we have, there are a few fans who work here." And then, and Callie said, "Oh, it's just so nice for me because I, you know, I've been around the whole ride, and it's just really sweet for me to see that."

• 1:41:16Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:41:17Speaker 01

  And she said, "Well, she talks about you a lot, too."

• 1:41:23Speaker 01

  Oh, boy. Okay.

• 1:41:24Dax Shepard?

  Have you tried the 360-degree turn in the... I said 365 degree, didn't I? I'm just now remembering.

• 1:41:30Speaker 01

  Oh, I don't remember.

• 1:41:32Dax Shepard?

  There's only 360 degrees in a circle, though. How embarrassing. Some gearhead's like.

• 1:41:38Speaker 01

  Upset. Someone's upset.

• 1:41:42Speaker 05

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare.

• 1:41:48Dax Shepard?

  We get support from ZipRecruiter. Oh, get recruiting. So I went down this rabbit hole the other day on real holiday jobs that exist and I couldn't stop. Somebody out there is hiring a ham glazer, a professional ham glazer. Another place is hiring a lead elf, implying a whole hierarchy of elves I had never even considered. Here's the thing, these jobs need real skills. People like that are hard to find. Whether you're hiring for one of these roles or any other role, the best way to find qualified people who are genuinely excited about your role is on ZipRecruiter. And right now you can try it for free at ziprecruiter.com/dax. Plus ZipRecruiter has a new feature that shows you the most interested qualified candidates first.

• 1:42:33Dax Shepard?

  So you meet the right people faster. No wonder ZipRecruiter is the number one rated hiring site based on G2. Let ZipRecruiter find the right people for your roles, seasonal or otherwise. Try it for free today at ziprecruiter.com/dax. At ziprecruiter.com/dax, meet your match on ZipRecruiter.

• 1:43:02Dax Shepard?

  Okay, I had to get involved with something. And I'm wondering, I think I finally did it right.

• 1:43:08Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:43:08Dax Shepard?

  And it was one, it was during one of, but this was post reset. This was fine.

• 1:43:13Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:43:14Dax Shepard?

  We found this like very, very desolate beach. Nobody's there. We pull over, the girls are playing in the thing. Then it's time to leave. We're walking back. Delta steps on a thorn. She's barefoot. She then goes and takes a breather.

• 1:43:26Speaker 01

  Oh, nice.

• 1:43:27Dax Shepard?

  So now Lincoln and I are just sitting in the car and I'm looking in my rearview mirror and there's a woman walking with two little kids through this little dirt parking lot. And when I say little, this little boy is like two and a half. A little blonde, cute little boy. And I hear. Get away from that car. And I look and she grabs him by the neck.

• 1:43:47Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 1:43:48Dax Shepard?

  And drags his little body. And I'm gonna get out.

• 1:43:54Speaker 01

  Oh, boy. This is complicated.

• 1:43:55Dax Shepard?

  Like, there's no, I'm not gonna watch this woman do this. It was really, Lincoln saw it too. Like, if I need backup.

• 1:44:02Speaker 01

  Well, I trust you.

• 1:44:03Dax Shepard?

  It was abusive. It was bad.

• 1:44:05Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 1:44:07Dax Shepard?

  And then he tries to get free and then she grabs his head again and he falls. And then, and so I rolled down the window. I'm about to get out. And then I rolled down the window and I go, no, no, no, gentle, gentle, gentle, gentle. It's gentle, gentle, gentle, but also the subtext is I'm getting out of this car if you don't.

• 1:44:24Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 1:44:25Dax Shepard?

  And she let go of his neck and said, come on. Then she grabbed his hand and started guiding him, which was a huge improvement.

• 1:44:34Speaker 01

  Do you think it was a babysitter?

• 1:44:36Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 1:44:37Speaker 01

  You're sure?

• 1:44:37Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, the woman and the boy looked alike. She was, she looked, she had some hard miles on her.

• 1:44:42Speaker 01

  Grandma, auntie?

• 1:44:44Dax Shepard?

  No, no, mom, mom, mom.

• 1:44:47Dax Shepard?

  It was rough.

• 1:44:48Speaker 01

  That's scary. I know. I know.

• 1:44:51Dax Shepard?

  That there's little people who are getting treated like that. I hate it.

• 1:44:56Speaker 01

  It's so sad. That's like the woman I saw outside Covell, remember, like, being so horrible to her daughter? And I, yeah, I don't know what you're supposed to do.

• 1:45:05Dax Shepard?

  I know, because again, we already talked about it, but it's like, I'm not gonna say anything that's gonna change this woman's behavior for life.

• 1:45:10Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:45:11Dax Shepard?

  And in fact, that could probably make it worse.

• 1:45:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:45:13Dax Shepard?

  And probably she might take it out on the kid.

• 1:45:15Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:45:16Dax Shepard?

  And you need to know, however hard you are on me about my aggressive reactions to things, Lincoln, she will not stand for it.

• 1:45:24Speaker 01

  I like that.

• 1:45:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's great. I'm glad she's like that. And she was very approving.

• 1:45:31Speaker 01

  Oh, she was?

• 1:45:32Dax Shepard?

  She was. She thought I had done it well. So I finally. Did it in a way no one was mad at me.

• 1:45:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:45:40Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:45:40Speaker 01

  Well, what were you gonna do if you got out? Steal him, put him in your car, drive away, keep him? Give him to me?

• 1:45:47Dax Shepard?

  No, but my inclination was to get in front of her face. Like, so that she knew, I'm not asking you to stop doing this.

• 1:45:55Speaker 01

  It wouldn't have helped.

• 1:45:56Dax Shepard?

  Well, it would have, she would have, she would have.

• 1:45:58Speaker 01

  In the moment.

• 1:45:59Dax Shepard?

  Yes, yes, yes, yes.

• 1:46:00Speaker 01

  But I, I think that will have a negative

• 1:46:04Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:46:04Speaker 01

  impact later on. If we have any social worker listeners, maybe they can tell us what you're supposed to do. I mean, I really don't know what you're supposed to do.

• 1:46:13Dax Shepard?

  I don't know either. And then, and I just happen to see a lot of stuff. So I saw this family getting in a fight behind us. And it was the way the man was talking to the wife was such a bummer. And she had no, like, she, she went like comatose. And then she had to leave the table to one of the boys that was pissing the dad off. And then I saw a grandpa grab a phone out of a teenager's, he had that breakfast.

• 1:46:36Speaker 01

  It's so white loaded.

• 1:46:37Dax Shepard?

  Chuck it on the table. And I was like, holy cow, people are handling their business in certain ways.

• 1:46:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:46:47Dax Shepard?

  And then, and then the anthropologist in me really has to now work through this whole thing where I go like, well, you're, you're, you're assuming your way is the correct way.

• 1:46:56Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:46:57Dax Shepard?

  And clearly people have been raising kids all kinds of way in every kind of culture.

• 1:47:02Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:47:03Dax Shepard?

  And I don't want to be high and mighty and self righteous.

• 1:47:06Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:47:07Dax Shepard?

  Um, yeah, I don't know, I don't know. It's, uh, but there's a lot of shit going down. People are really rough and, and also, and also going, and people are having a harder time than me, right? So that's in the mix. I'm not stretched to the limit, you know? I'm not, I'm not my mom on vacation where it's like, I can't afford the vacation we're on, but I really want to show my kids the country. What was tempting is to go all these spoiled rich people. But that's wrong. I was at the shitty hotels too, and it was gnarly there too. You know what it is? It's, it's, it's hard to raise kids. Adam Grant just had a post, you would have loved this. I was debating whether or not to forward it to you. But Adam Grant had another social scientist on that's done all this work.

• 1:47:48Speaker 01

  Oh, I saw it.

• 1:47:49Dax Shepard?

  You saw it?

• 1:47:50Speaker 01

  I almost reposted it.

• 1:47:52Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's just in a nutshell, it just says, kids make your life worse.

• 1:47:57Speaker 01

  There's like.

• 1:47:57Dax Shepard?

  They reduce happiness.

• 1:47:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:47:59Dax Shepard?

  Now.

• 1:48:00Speaker 01

  There's.

• 1:48:00Dax Shepard?

  Then you get into, though, you get into the Yuval Harari, like, your narrative self does feel one way. And whether or not you should be happy all the time, that's what you're always servicing. That's a bigger thing, but it was interesting that the data is absolutely consistent and undeniable. They make your, your life worse.

• 1:48:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:48:18Dax Shepard?

  So.

• 1:48:18Speaker 01

  But I get, but I know for a lot of reasons, it's not just like, oh, because they're annoying. It's because there's stress that comes with raising people.

• 1:48:27Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:48:27Speaker 01

  If you, if you care at all.

• 1:48:29Dax Shepard?

  And they don't act, they don't act.

• 1:48:31Speaker 01

  They don't do what you want them to do.

• 1:48:33Dax Shepard?

  They haven't figured it out.

• 1:48:34Speaker 01

  If you tell them a way to be, it doesn't mean they're just gonna listen and be that way. Like, it's hard. And people are their worst selves around their family.

• 1:48:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:48:45Speaker 01

  I mean, I was just, I was like, thinking about all our vacations when you were talking about yours. And I was like, yeah, we just like yelled at each, I was just so mean, like, I was just such a brat. And, you know, I just remember I was going to New York and I wanted to go to Serendipity so bad.

• 1:49:01Dax Shepard?

  The movie?

• 1:49:01Speaker 01

  No, the chocolate shop.

• 1:49:03Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:49:04Speaker 01

  So, but it was the only thing I wanted to do. And I brought it up every, it was like, and I was like, we'll go, we'll go, I promise we'll go, I promise we'll go. And then we go and it's a three hour line. I was like, well, you, you said this, and they were like, we're not doing this. And I was like, oh my, and I, I like could not handle the fact that we were not gonna go to Serendipity.

• 1:49:21Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:49:22Speaker 01

  And.

• 1:49:23Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:49:24Speaker 01

  I, look, it's just like.

• 1:49:25Dax Shepard?

  That's where Lincoln and I's stuff comes up, is that we have two know-it-alls in the family.

• 1:49:31Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:49:31Dax Shepard?

  Who gotta make the game plan.

• 1:49:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:49:34Dax Shepard?

  And of course, like, we get, we get to the airport, we take a little tram to the airport. It ends at the terminal. I know that the check-in's inside Lincoln, I read a sign, it's down there, and I'm like, okay. Okay, well, and I say, even if, even if you're right, it would make the most sense to peek in this one before we walk all the way down.

• 1:49:52Speaker 01

  That's

• 1:49:53Dax Shepard?

  I read the sign. And I'm like, okay, I'm seeing that this is me. Like, this is what it was like to travel with me. This is what it's like to be around me.

• 1:50:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:50:02Dax Shepard?

  And and I deserve this.

• 1:50:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:50:06Dax Shepard?

  And if anyone should be able to figure out how to deal with this, it should be me, but I don't know how to, because I'm the same way. And I'm like, there's the idea of me walking to another terminal that I fucking know United's not inside there.

• 1:50:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:50:19Dax Shepard?

  Which I won't die.

• 1:50:20Speaker 01

  You'd rather die.

• 1:50:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Again, I intellectually know, I'm not gonna die if that happens, but I'm, there's no way I can do that.

• 1:50:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:50:27Dax Shepard?

  And then I'm like, you know, okay, so we're both this way. I'm 50 and I paid for all this. Does that not get me the, the like tiebreaker vote? Shouldn't the parent have the fucking tiebreaker?

• 1:50:39Speaker 01

  But not because you paid. That's where, that's where the guy who threw the phone, like that guy's that.

• 1:50:46Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:50:47Speaker 01

  He's like, I paid for all this, and so everyone better just do what I say.

• 1:50:51Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, that guy I had diagnosed was, I paid for all this. You better be happy nonstop.

• 1:51:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:51:00Dax Shepard?

  Because this is my vacation.

• 1:51:02Speaker 01

  That's what's comfortable for him.

• 1:51:03Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So Lincoln and I, you know, and then it's like, what line do you get in for anything? Lincoln and I have a very strong

• 1:51:12Dax Shepard?

  and it's me. That's what makes it so hard.

• 1:51:15Speaker 01

  But it is tricky because like

• 1:51:17Dax Shepard?

  I know more, listen, I am percentage wise, I am right more.

• 1:51:20Speaker 01

  Well.

• 1:51:21Dax Shepard?

  I am.

• 1:51:22Speaker 01

  You've had more time on earth.

• 1:51:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. I should goddamn hope at 50, I know a little more about the world than my 12 year old.

• 1:51:28Speaker 01

  Yes, I would hope so too. Now, this is where I do think you got, you both, you and Kristen are very kind to the kids. Like you, the fact that that's even a thought, and I mean, I don't have them, but I do know, I do know that if like, even if I was with your kids, if Lincoln was like, I saw a sign, I would say, I would say, oh, you might be right, but we're gonna do this.

• 1:51:53Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:51:54Speaker 01

  And like, that's it.

• 1:51:55Dax Shepard?

  And that's like, right, but that's

• 1:51:56Speaker 01

  And she'll be mad at me.

• 1:51:57Dax Shepard?

  That's not gonna work.

• 1:51:58Speaker 01

  Well, then she's gonna stand there.

• 1:52:00Dax Shepard?

  She's like me, she'll walk.

• 1:52:01Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:52:02Dax Shepard?

  She'll, she'll, literally, like, this is why it's, it's like, it's nuclear assured annihilation. She and I will both, we're both the type of people that will be like, fine, you guys go do it the wrong way, I'm going by myself to do it. Now, this is bad. But I'm admitting this to you. So I know if push comes to shove, she will walk by herself away from us and go to where she thinks it is at. So I have got to prevent that because she's that strong and I love it about her.

• 1:52:29Speaker 01

  I know, but.

• 1:52:29Dax Shepard?

  And when she's older, I'll be delighted she.

• 1:52:32Speaker 01

  Ish. Like there are parts of you as an adult that's like, maybe, you know, I don't know. We could work on.

• 1:52:39Dax Shepard?

  We could work on. We're work. We're working on it. We are working on it. And then, and all to say, I, I was, I was quite proud when I got home of the job I did, even though I did things wrong and everything. I, I do like who I am.

• 1:52:57Speaker 01

  Good.

• 1:52:57Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:52:58Speaker 01

  I like who you are.

• 1:53:00Dax Shepard?

  It's hard. Sometimes it's hard.

• 1:53:02Speaker 01

  But so you never, I mean, you're right. Maybe it just wouldn't work.

• 1:53:06Dax Shepard?

  I tried that way with her for a while. And I want to believe I'm smart enough to go, well, this is what my dad did. And my dad reaped what he sowed. I said, I don't need you. Like if I'm gonna, if, if to be with you is to surrender to your will, guess what? I don't need to be with you. So I know I had that in me to walk away from him. And I know she has it in her too, and I'm not gonna let that happen. So that's the driving force behind me going, I have to do it differently than my dad did because I know what the result was. I was, I, look, I, I need her more than she needs me emotionally.

• 1:53:48Speaker 01

  That's not true.

• 1:53:50Dax Shepard?

  No, no, because I was there. I'm like, I don't, I don't care if I don't talk to my dad for a year, which happened numerous times. That's way easier on me than it was on him, I'm sure. And if Lincoln didn't talk to me for a year, it would devastate me. So I have to be realistic. It's like the thing that Bill Gates's therapist finally told him is you're fighting an unfair war. Your parents are gonna love you. And never withhold that from you. And you can withhold it for them. And it's not a fair war.

• 1:54:20Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:54:20Dax Shepard?

  And you're gonna win. And so that's, that's on the table. So I, I, if there's two variables in this equation and one of them has to, to bend, it's gotta be me because it's, it's not gonna be her. I know it because it's, because I was the same way.

• 1:54:33Speaker 01

  I know, but what was happening with your dad.

• 1:54:36Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:54:37Speaker 01

  Is different than what's happening with you at the airport, taking them to the Four Seasons. Like for real. So if, I'm just saying, if like she did do that, if she was like, I'm not talking to my dad for a month because he wanted to go one way in the airport, taking us on a trip.

• 1:54:53Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:54:55Speaker 01

  She needs to be straightened out a little bit.

• 1:54:57Dax Shepard?

  But.

• 1:54:58Speaker 01

  That's not fair.

• 1:54:59Dax Shepard?

  Listen, but I think you have to be realistic about what you're dealing with.

• 1:55:03Speaker 01

  She would.

• 1:55:04Dax Shepard?

  No, she wouldn't.

• 1:55:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:55:06Dax Shepard?

  It also helps that she's a girl and I'm a boy. There's something there that's, that, that is helpful that my dad and I did. My dad and I had that thing and then male on male. So it was like, you know, and he wasn't around. So I only saw him once in a while.

• 1:55:18Speaker 01

  That's what I'm saying.

• 1:55:18Dax Shepard?

  Yes, I would see him once a month and he'd tell me what the program was. And I'm like, according to who? Why are you, anyway?

• 1:55:22Speaker 01

  You didn't respect him because of what, because of his actions.

• 1:55:26Dax Shepard?

  Yep.

• 1:55:27Speaker 01

  So then why would you listen to him if he's saying this thing?

• 1:55:30Dax Shepard?

  I just know, and you've seen it in me. I can, I can destroy myself and another person.

• 1:55:40Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:55:41Dax Shepard?

  I have that switch.

• 1:55:44Speaker 01

  You do.

• 1:55:45Dax Shepard?

  I do. And I think I gave it to my beautiful little girl.

• 1:55:49Speaker 01

  That's okay.

• 1:55:50Dax Shepard?

  And so I just have to do everything in my power to not be my dad.

• 1:55:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:55:56Dax Shepard?

  And, and, um, and surrender because I wanna, I wanna be with her and I don't want her to write me off.

• 1:56:02Speaker 01

  But can I push back a little?

• 1:56:03Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:56:04Speaker 01

  I think you potentially, uh, we don't know, there's no way to go back in time.

• 1:56:09Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:56:09Speaker 01

  But you potentially wouldn't have, it wouldn't be such a struggle for you now. If you had been practicing since you were 12. If you had been put in the position to really start practicing that skill.

• 1:56:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:56:24Speaker 01

  For that long. You've been, like, she's better off early, starting to understand, you know what? Sometimes I'm gonna have to surrender.

• 1:56:35Dax Shepard?

  She does all the time.

• 1:56:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:56:36Dax Shepard?

  And, and so here's what's great. Because I don't get in these wars with her. She will come to that.

• 1:56:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:56:43Dax Shepard?

  She'll calm down.

• 1:56:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:56:45Dax Shepard?

  And she comes to it. So she has built a lot of trust with me.

• 1:56:48Speaker 01

  With you.

• 1:56:48Dax Shepard?

  If I thought she never corrected her behavior and she was just my way or the highway and fuck everyone. And then I don't even care and I don't redirect and I don't feel bad and I don't come say sorry. That's one thing. That's not at all what I'm dealing with.

• 1:56:59Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:56:59Dax Shepard?

  It's in the moment I can have a power struggle with her.

• 1:57:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:57:03Dax Shepard?

  Or I can have the faith that she will recognize she was being really bullheaded and she'll apologize. Which is 90% of the time what happens. And I wasn't given that leash.

• 1:57:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:57:14Dax Shepard?

  My mother did. So my mother knew how to deal with me. Obviously, I never had any power struggles with my mom.

• 1:57:20Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:57:21Dax Shepard?

  And Lincoln and Kristen knows how to handle Lincoln in a way that I just, I can't.

• 1:57:28Speaker 01

  Well, Kristen is fine to walk to the other side.

• 1:57:31Dax Shepard?

  Yep, exactly.

• 1:57:32Speaker 01

  She's not, it doesn't bother her.

• 1:57:34Dax Shepard?

  And in my defense, Delta has things.

• 1:57:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:57:37Dax Shepard?

  They just don't bother me.

• 1:57:38Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:57:39Dax Shepard?

  And they bother Kristen.

• 1:57:40Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:57:40Dax Shepard?

  Cause they're her thing.

• 1:57:41Speaker 01

  Yeah. But in life, both kids, every person are going to encounter people.

• 1:57:49Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:57:50Speaker 01

  Who trigger that thing. And it's good to have practice.

• 1:57:53Dax Shepard?

  Of course. There's two things and Kristen always is pointing this out to me and it's very, very true. So there's, there's, there, I'm not saying, um, she's ADHD. I'm not saying that. She's not been diagnosed with that. She goes through school just fine. She does not have a disorder.

• 1:58:08Speaker 01

  Doing great.

• 1:58:08Dax Shepard?

  But I just had, um, Tim Simons on Mom's Car with Aaron.

• 1:58:15Speaker 01

  Oh, nice.

• 1:58:16Dax Shepard?

  And it was so fun. And he got diagnosed very early with ADHD and he knows a lot about it. And he was telling me some very interesting things about it. One of them is there's really common comorbidities with ADHD. One of them is an overactive sense of justice.

• 1:58:32Dax Shepard?

  Like a really strong, like it drives you nuts. And then self abuse. When you've erred, like self flagellation.

• 1:58:45Speaker 01

  Because you are so confident. I think that's part of it. It's like there's such a double down that if you're wrong, you can't just be like, oops, because you made a whole to do about.

• 1:58:54Dax Shepard?

  Well, that's one of them. But then there's just simple mistakes. Like I tripped.

• 1:58:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:58:59Dax Shepard?

  I made a mess. I spilled the thing. I said something I shouldn't have said. Those kinds of things, Delta can shrug right off. Those kinds of things Lincoln will ruminate on for a very long time, like very self punishing.

• 1:59:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:59:14Dax Shepard?

  So I relate a lot to both of those things.

• 1:59:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, me too.

• 1:59:17Dax Shepard?

  And so I know, I know what it feels like. So my, my thing.

• 1:59:23Dax Shepard?

  It's not like I won't listen to authority as much as like. If I have evaluated something as unjust, like I'm a human too, with a brain too. And we have two different opinions and it is unjust that yours just overrides mine. That was such a hard thing for me. It happened with teachers. It happened with step dads. It happened with my brother. It was like, we're equal.

• 1:59:48Dax Shepard?

  I don't care that you're older. I don't care that you have a degree. I don't care. Like I'm a human and you're a human and we both are intelligent and I have one opinion and you have another. And you're telling me I have to let go of mine because what? Cause you have some status, whether it's age or this or that. That was so painful for me. I'm not excusing it, but I do know it was extremely painful for me.

• 2:00:08Speaker 01

  Sure. But you can see now, you just said it. You just said it like 15 minutes ago, that. It's objectively true. You having so many more years.

• 2:00:19Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 2:00:19Speaker 01

  And knowledge and experience in life does earn you that. It does earn you.

• 2:00:24Dax Shepard?

  It does, but it does. And I'm looking at it from that also mature point of view.

• 2:00:30Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's just hard. Yeah. It's hard to, I think it's hard to be a parent.

• 2:00:37Dax Shepard?

  It is. And then, and then on the other side is the reward of it is also it's equally matched.

• 2:00:43Speaker 01

  Yeah. Let's see if we can find the thing that Adam Grant says.

• 2:00:45Dax Shepard?

  Okay. Yeah. And then I'll find the diabetes song.

• 2:00:48Speaker 01

  Oh, great. I can't wait.

• 2:00:51Dax Shepard?

  Can't believe you don't want to hear that.

• 2:00:54Dax Shepard?

  It's easy for me to find.

• 2:00:55Speaker 01

  I found it.

• 2:00:55Dax Shepard?

  Of course I sent it to you. The last child leaves the house. On average, parents get happier, don't they?

• 2:01:01Speaker 06

  Best data suggests happiness increases when the kids leave home and the dog dies.

• 2:01:07Speaker 06

  You go to some parents and you go, do children make you happy? And parents will say, oh, of course they do. They make me happier than anything else. We know from tons of data that those parents are wrong. That children, in fact, have a small but negative impact on the happiness of their parents. But their parents don't know it. Those data tell you something about parenthood and happiness. There may be many reasons to have children, but making yourself more happy in the moment is not one of them.

• 2:01:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, really good. Okay, Anthony, so he achieved a Guinness World Record by successfully hitting a golf ball 106 feet with the world's longest usable golf club.

• 2:01:49Dax Shepard?

  And it's really important people take the time to watch a clip of him doing it because you're not possibly imagining the golf club being as long as it actually is.

• 2:01:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's pretty wild how long it is and it's like curved.

• 2:02:02Dax Shepard?

  Yes, it looks like he is fishing off of a pier.

• 2:02:05Speaker 01

  Yes, it is.

• 2:02:06Dax Shepard?

  Yes, it's crazy.

• 2:02:08Speaker 01

  And that was in November 2018.

• 2:02:11Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, okay.

• 2:02:12Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 2:02:13Dax Shepard?

  I don't think that'll be beaten.

• 2:02:14Speaker 01

  I don't either, God willing. Okay, the record for the father-son pulling fire trucks, that was in Coburg. So two Coburg strong men won't be celebrating Father's Day with a fishing trip, ding ding ding, or a ballgame this weekend. Instead Reverend Kevin Fast and his son Jacob Fast will attempt to pull two fire trucks. The goal is to set a new Guinness World Record for heaviest vehicle pulled by two people. The Saturday, June 18th event is a fundraiser for Habitat for Humanity.

• 2:02:46Dax Shepard?

  Oh, that's nice.

• 2:02:47Speaker 01

  A cause Reverend Fast became involved in last summer when he pulled a house 11.95 meters.

• 2:02:53Dax Shepard?

  He pulled a house?

• 2:02:53Speaker 01

  Yes. He's also well-known for setting a Guinness World Record in 2009 for pulling a 416,229-pound aircraft in 2009 at CFB Trenton.

• 2:03:05Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my goodness.

• 2:03:07Speaker 01

  Okay, does Lionel Richie have a room in his house that's a replica of the room? He originally wrote his music in. Now, I don't know about that, but there is an article on Architectural Digest. About his house.

• 2:03:19Dax Shepard?

  Oh, there is.

• 2:03:21Speaker 01

  As for the home's overall mood, what I'm trying to do here is show travel, says entertainer, who, who, who's always on the road. And finally, I found a place where I can apply everything I see in other countries. These disparate ideas, he trickles back via photographs sent by email to the masters who pull my ideas together, a team comprising interior designers, Peter Schifando and J. Jonathan Joseph, and until his recent death, architect Robert Atrey. A case in point of Richie's inspired wanderlust is the subtle palomino hue of the building's exterior, first spotted on a cardinal's house he saw on a hilltop in Lake Como. And then there's the high gloss pale yellow Venetian plaster on the walls of the capacious living room, inspired by Richie's visit to Poland's presidential palace.

• 2:04:05Speaker 01

  The mirrored effect of the walls was so beautiful, I had to ask, how do you do this? With several layers of paint buffed and polished like a stone, he learned. It's not easy to come by, but once it's done, the room can have a single chair and it works. He pauses. The things that inspire me, he laughs, were done years ago with cheap labor and materials. Trying to recreate them has cost me a bloody fortune. Still in this-

• 2:04:25Dax Shepard?

  Lionel said bloody?

• 2:04:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:04:27Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 2:04:28Speaker 01

  Still in this movable feast of the imagination, it's the personal touches that mesmerize. A bronze sculpture depicting Richie's hand intertwined with that of his father. Frame letters from Booker T. Washington and George Washington Carver to Richie's grandmother. A faculty member at the Tus- Oh, grandmother, a faculty member at the Tuskegee Institute in Alabama, where the singer grew up. Two paintings in the billiard room by jazz trumpeter and pal Miles Davis. The kinetic abstracts, brilliant, complicated, twisted and turned in every way, just like Miles, are signed on the back to the best from the best. With its high ceilings, dramatic staircases-

• 2:05:03Dax Shepard?

  I wish I could sign from the best.

• 2:05:05Speaker 01

  You can't.

• 2:05:06Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 2:05:06Speaker 01

  Well, you can, but you shouldn't.

• 2:05:08Dax Shepard?

  Why can't he? I'm not the best at anything.

• 2:05:11Dax Shepard?

  You need to be the best at something to sign the best.

• 2:05:14Speaker 01

  You have to be so the best. You have to be-

• 2:05:16Dax Shepard?

  Miles Davis.

• 2:05:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:05:18Dax Shepard?

  He can easily sign that.

• 2:05:19Speaker 01

  I think he's the only one.

• 2:05:22Dax Shepard?

  No, Coltrane could have done it. Eddie Van Halen, there's a bunch of people.

• 2:05:26Speaker 01

  No, I wouldn't want-

• 2:05:27Dax Shepard?

  Brando.

• 2:05:27Speaker 01

  Van Halen too.

• 2:05:29Dax Shepard?

  Eddie Van Halen.

• 2:05:32Speaker 01

  With its high ceilings, dramatic staircases, sweeping promenades and international panache, Richie's Manor, what?

• 2:05:38Dax Shepard?

  Jordan.

• 2:05:39Speaker 01

  Jordan could. Ding ding ding, Anthony Anderson story about Jordan. Richie's Manor House could be anywhere in the world, which is why he planned it. I call the rooms in my house destinations. If I want to be in a suite in Paris, I go upstairs to the bedroom and close the door. Italy, I walk outside to the stone path bordering the property and look back to see the Cardinals house. With my career, I have to get on a plane every other week. So when people ask, where do you go for vacation? I say, I go home.

• 2:06:04Dax Shepard?

  I want to be a guest at his home.

• 2:06:05Speaker 01

  Me too. But also, the way he talked about it, we don't know the answer, but.

• 2:06:11Dax Shepard?

  Sounds likely.

• 2:06:11Speaker 01

  It sounds likely. Okay. When did the police get back together for their last tour? After not being together, they reunited in early 2007 for a world tour, which lasted through 2008.

• 2:06:22Dax Shepard?

  I heard Sting talking about that once on a talk show and he said it's perfect. He said it was perfect. Within the first 20 minutes of the rehearsal, he and Stuart Copeland were in such a big fight. They were going to cancel the tour or something like that. He's like, it was directly back to how the band always was.

• 2:06:37Speaker 01

  Oh, that's funny.

• 2:06:39Speaker 01

  Okay. He mentioned elephantitis. He said when all the lower extremities are like one size. Now, it's, it's called elephantiasis.

• 2:06:50Speaker 01

  Elephantiasis.

• 2:06:52Dax Shepard?

  Elephantiasis?

• 2:06:53Speaker 01

  It's not elephantitis. It's elephantiasis.

• 2:06:56Dax Shepard?

  That's how we like to colloquially say it. Elephantitis. Elephantitis of the nuts.

• 2:07:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly. It's a condition characterized by significant swelling primarily in the legs, arms or genitals caused by a parasitic infection of the lymphatic system. The swelling is due to the buildup of lymphatic fluid, often leading to a disfigured appearance, hence the name.

• 2:07:18Speaker 01

  Okay. He was talking about DC. So he said that was the murder capital of the world then. Now, um, several countries and cities consistently rank hi- high in homicide rates. It says it's difficult to pinpoint definitively which one, but okay. So in 2023, Jamaica had the highest homicide rate.

• 2:07:41Dax Shepard?

  Okay, per capita.

• 2:07:42Speaker 01

  At forty nine point three per hundred thousand people. While Ecuador saw a significant increase in its rate to fif- forty five point one per hundred thousand. Within Mexico, cities like Colima and Zamora have been reported to have extremely high homicide rates. Now, as far as the US, St. Louis. Okay, does Anthony have the record for most appearances on Kimmel? Yes, he does.

• 2:08:05Dax Shepard?

  He does?

• 2:08:06Speaker 01

  Yes, total of sixty three appearances. They include guest appearance. I can't talk. These include guest appearances, guest hosting and co-hosting.

• 2:08:15Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 2:08:16Speaker 01

  Sixty three. Man who played Fela on Broadway. There's two, um, I, I'm, Kevin Mambo is one and then a name I'll spell. Okay, first name S A H R, Sar, Saher? And then last name N G A U J A H. I'm not gonna try to pronounce it.

• 2:08:41Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 2:08:41Speaker 01

  Anyway, that's it.

• 2:08:46Dax Shepard?

  I'm delighted to be back with you.

• 2:08:48Speaker 01

  Me too.

• 2:08:48Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:08:49Speaker 01

  It's been a long time. We have so many stories we.

• 2:08:51Dax Shepard?

  Too many stories.

• 2:08:52Speaker 01

  We have for next week.

• 2:08:53Dax Shepard?

  Good that we don't have more time off.

• 2:08:56Speaker 01

  It really is.

• 2:08:56Dax Shepard?

  All right, love you.

• 2:08:57Speaker 01

  Okay, love you.

• 2:09:12Dax Shepard?

  We are supported by Allstate. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking if the movie is sold out before you show up. You drove across town, found parking, got in line, and now the person behind the counter is giving you that look. Sold out. Guess you're watching whatever starts in ten minutes. Yeah, checking first is an excellent idea. So check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.