They’re Throwing This To You | Try The Other Handle

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Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:02Ryan Holiday?

  Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast. Each day, we bring you a meditation inspired by the ancient Stoics, illustrated with stories from history, current events, and literature to help you be better at what you do. And at the beginning of the week, we try to do a deeper dive, setting a kind of Stoic intention for the week, something to meditate on, something to think on, something to leave you with, to journal about, whatever it is you happen to be doing. So let's get into it.

• 0:43Ryan Holiday?

  They're throwing this torch to you. The ancient world was not perfect. There was corruption. There was political gridlock. There was violence. There was stupidity and apathy and indifference. Some people accepted this. Actually, a lot of people did. You might think that the Stoics, given all they say about assenting to what's not in our control, would be among those who simply tolerated the status quo. But this is not true. The Stoics were active in politics. They were active in public life. They were such constant thorns in the side of some of the worst emperors that they became known as the Stoic Opposition. There were Stoics who fought against corruption. There were Stoics who stood for the little guy. There were Stoics who strove to make the world better. Seneca said that while

• 1:27Ryan Holiday?

  we didn't have the power to choose our parents, we did have the power to choose whose children we would like to be. We can look at history and see all the evil and awfulness, or we can decide to be the descendants of those trailblazers, groundbreakers, activists, heroes, and helpers who helped move things forward. This is one of the ideas in the new book, Right Thing Right Now. We're not literally related to Cato, but he started something that we can finish. That's what George Washington and Thomas Jefferson thought, anyway. Neither of those two men were perfect, but they were trying to live up to Cato's example. And we can bring their vision closer to reality, realize the words that they wrote more than their deeds. That's how Marcus Aurelius saw the Stoics who came before him, writing that

• 2:12Ryan Holiday?

  Thrasia, and Helvidius, and Cato, and Brutus helped conceive of a society of equal laws, governed by equality of status and speech, and of rulers who respect the liberty of their subjects above all else. They didn't get there fully, and neither did he, and neither will we. But we have to try. There's a famous World War One poem about how one generation sacrifices for another, hopes that they can carry the work onwards. "To you from failing hands we throw," it reads, "the torch, be it yours to hold it high." That's what life and history are about. That's what we have to be working on. The Stoics bequeath to us a powerful tradition of trying, of striving to do what's right,

• 2:54Ryan Holiday?

  of being willing to sacrifice, in some cases, sacrifice everything to keep that torch alight. Will you prove to be a worthy recipient? Will you hold it high? Will you move things forward before passing the torch to the next generation? The world needs you to. Anyways, that's the idea. Right Thing Right Now, Good Values, Good Character, Good Deeds, comes out on June 11th. It's, it's basically here, people. If you haven't pre-ordered, and you don't want to kill me for having talked about it so much, well, I would love for you to check it out. We have a bunch of awesome bonuses. We are almost out of the signed numbered first editions. We've got a couple of the manuscript pages left, and then a couple slots left in the

• 3:37Ryan Holiday?

  dinner, if you want to come to the philosophy dinner and grab all that. Plus, you can just grab regular unsigned copies cheaper than Amazon. Though, of course, if you just want to grab an audiobook or an ebook, we'll give you the same bonuses. Just head over to dailystoic.com/justice to find out all that info. And I can't wait to hear what you think. If you already bought the book, it would mean so much to me if you could review it on Amazon or wherever you get your books. That would mean a lot, too. Without further ado, I'll leave you to the rest of today's episode.

• 4:15Ryan Holiday?

  Try the Other Handle. Epictetus offered a powerful tool in his handbook, The Incredian, which the Stoics use as an exercise in decision-making about difficult events. "Everything," Epictetus says, "has two interpretations, or handles, by which it can be grabbed, one that will make it harder, one that will make it easier. Do you take offense, or do you focus on a common ground? Do you focus on all that's gone wrong, or what has gone right? Ask yourself these questions about everything that you see and feel. Try to always grab the right handle." That's from this week's entry in the Daily Stoic Journal, "366 Days of Writing and Reflection on the Art of Living", which you can get anywhere books are sold, including, of course,

• 4:58Ryan Holiday?

  my bookstore, The Painted Porch, which you can check out, thepaintedporch.com, or come see us on Main Street in Bastrop, Texas. Let's listen to Epictetus drill down on this. "Every event has two handles," he says, "one by which it can be carried and one by which it can't. If your brother does you wrong, don't grab it by its wrongdoing, because this is the handle incapable of lifting it. Instead, use the other, that he is your brother, that you were raised together, and then you have hold of the handle that it carries." This is Epictetus in Coridion 43. And then he says in Discourses 4:1, "No, it is events that give rise to fear. When another has power over them or can prevent it, that a person becomes able to inspire fear. How is the fortress destroyed? Not by iron or fire, but by judgments.

• 5:43Ryan Holiday?

  And it is here that we must begin, and it is from this front that we must seize the fortress and throw out the tyrants." So, this idea of grabbing things by the handle. In fact, there's this interesting list, you can Google it. Thomas Jefferson wrote a bunch of, like, rules for one of his young relatives. And he says, somewhat elusively, he says, you know, "Always grab things by their smooth handle." And I think it was Donald Robertson who pointed out to me that he's referring to Epictetus grabbing by the right handle. Instead of the rough handle, grab the smooth handle. The point being, stuff happens. Are you gonna try to say, "This was done to me"? Or are you gonna say, "This is done for me"? Are you gonna say, "Look at all I've lost"? Or are you gonna say, "Look at all I've gained"? As Epictetus says, are you gonna say, "Look at my brother. What did he do? What an asshole." Or are you gonna say, "This is my brother.

• 6:28Ryan Holiday?

  I love him. He would never hurt me on purpose." You grab the handle that makes you stronger, the one that gives you agency, not the one that strips you of agency. You grab the one that gives you hope, not the one that strips you of hope. You grab the one that gives you a path forward, not the one that freezes you hopelessly in place. What's the right handle? That's what we're thinking about. And every situation has a handle. And are you gonna get mad? Or are you gonna use it as an opportunity? I think about this with my kids. They do something. Am I going to lose my temper and show them that I lose my temper and that they should be afraid of me? Or that they should hide things from me? Or am I going to use it as a chance to talk to them, to teach them something? Famously, the story of George Washington and the cherry trees, teaching this lesson. His father catches him chopping down the cherry tree. He asks who does it?

• 7:13Ryan Holiday?

  George Washington tells the truth. His father could be angry. He just has a confession from his son that he chopped down a priceless cherry tree. Instead, the moral of the story is, I'm glad that you told me the truth and you can trust me. I'm not going to punish you for having told me the truth. I'd rather you chop down my trees than tell a lie. Right? What handle are you going to choose as a parent, as a teacher, as a boss? By grabbing the right handle versus the wrong handle, are you making the relationship stronger? Better? Based on trust, based on aligned incentives, based on shared history? Or by grabbing the wrong handle, are you showing them to lie? Are you showing them to hide things? Are you showing them that you should be feared, that you should be ignored, that you can't be taken seriously?

• 7:57Ryan Holiday?

  That you're not really their ally or friend? Right? The handle we choose matters. Even Epictetus, you've got to imagine, he's trapped in slavery. It's horrible. He spends the first 30 years of his life that way. Does he choose to see this as the worst thing that could have possibly happened? Or does he learn from it? Even the so-called Stockdale paradox. And he says, I knew I would survive. And if I did, I would turn this into the very best thing that happened to me. That's choosing to grab the right handle. That's choosing to grab the smooth handle, which is what you must do, which is what we must all do in any and all situations. And that's it for me today. I'm exhausted. I've just spent all day recording videos. You hear my voice going out a little bit, but I'm trying to tell myself, this is one day among many. This is making me stronger. I'm getting better for it.

• 8:42Ryan Holiday?

  I'm crossing off stuff in my list and I can focus on what I really need to be doing. I'm going to try to grab the good handle today. So should you. Talk soon.