The Real Reason You're Afraid of Money (And How to Fix It Fast) | Ken Honda (Fan Fav)

Fan Favorite: This episode originally aired on June 23, 2020. On this episode of Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu, Ken Honda describes the first steps everyone needs to take to start healing their money wounds, and to transform money from something to be feared into something that brings peace and ease. He also goes into exquisite detail on the tough subject of how to find your gifts, and then how to go about making a living with them. SHOW NOTES: Ken gives a surprising definition of what wealth means [5:12] Money doesn't buy happiness, but it really is powerful [7:04] Focus on what you can give, and it what you will attract into your life [15:27] How do you find your gifts, and how do you polish them into something extraordinary? [21:13] Ken advocates not comparing yourself to other people as a remedy for depression [29:47] Friendship is more protective than money [41:22] Ken talks about what he would do if he lost all his money [50:08] FOLLOW: WEBSITE: kenhonda.com INSTAGRAM: https://bit.ly/2N8Yfjd https://bit.ly/2N8Yfjd%20 FACEBOOK: https://bit.ly/3ecxDcY https://bit.ly/3ecxDcY%20 TWITTER: https://bit.ly/30SWgr4 https://bit.ly/30SWgr4%20 CHECK OUT OUR SPONSORS: Range Rover: Range Rover: Explore the Range Rover Sport at https://rangerover.com/us/sport Audible: Sign up for a free 30 day trial at https://audible.com/IMPACTTHEORY https://audible.com/IMPACTTHEORY1 Vital Proteins: Get 20% off by going to https://www.vitalproteins.com and entering promo code IMPACT at check out Thrive Market: ​​Go to https:thrivemarket.com/impact http://thrivemarket.com/impact for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Tax Network: Stop looking over your shoulder and put your IRS troubles behind you. Call 1-800-958-1000 or visit https://tnusa.com/impact ButcherBox: Choose either grass-fed ground beef, steak tips or organic chicken thighs to get free in every box for an entire year. Plus, get an extra $20 off your first box when you use code IMPACT at https://butcherbox.com/impact ITU: Ready to breakthrough your biggest business bottleneck? Apply to work with me 1:1 - https://impacttheory.co/SCALE Shopify: Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial period at https://shopify.com/impact American Alternative Assets: If you're ready to explore gold as part of your investment strategy, call 1-888-615-8047 or go to https://TomGetsGold.com https://tomgetsgold.com Mint Mobile: If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop plans at https://mintmobile.com/impact. https://mintmobile.com/impact DISCLAIMER: Upfront payment of $45 for 3-month 5 gigabyte plan required (equivalent to $15/mo.). New customer offer for first 3 months only, then full-price plan options available. Taxes & fees extra. See MINT MOBILE for details. ********************************************************************** Do you need my help? STARTING a business: Join me inside ZERO TO FOUNDER here https://tombilyeu.com/zero-to-founder?utm_campaign=6762613-Scaling%20YT%20%26%20PC%20Ads&utm_source=IT_PC&utm_content=ztf_it_pc_ad SCALING a business: Click here to see if you qualify https://tombilyeu.com/scale?utm_campaign=6762613-Scaling%20YT%20%26%20PC%20Ads&utm_source=mindset_PC&utm_content=bdceo_mindset_pc_ad Get my battle-tested strategies and insights delivered weekly to your inbox:sign up here. https://tombilyeu.com/ ********************************************************************** If you're serious about leveling up your life, I urge you to check out my new podcast,Tom Bilyeu’s Mindset Playbook https://open.spotify.com/show/47VE90Cittmo6TGGFqg2xf —a goldmine of my most impactful episodes on mindset, business, and health. Trust me, your future self will thank you. ********************************************************************** Join me live on myTwitch stream https://impacttheory.co/4fitmnJ. I'm live daily from 6:30 to 8:30 am PT atwww.twitch.tv/tombilyeu https://impacttheory.co/4fitmnJ ********************************************************************** LISTEN TO IMPACT THEORY AD FREE + BONUS EPISODES on APPLE PODCASTS:apple.co/impacttheory http://apple.co/impacttheory ********************************************************************** FOLLOW TOM: Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tombilyeu/ Tik Tok:https://www.tiktok.com/@tombilyeu?lang=en Twitter:https://twitter.com/tombilyeu YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@TomBilyeu Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices https://megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Tom Bilyeu?

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• 0:45Tom Bilyeu?

  Their dashboard tracks what comes next based on what your business actually needs. So EIN number, registered agent, licenses and permits, bookkeeping, business banking. I tell every founder the same thing. Just make it official. Click the link in the show notes to check out Taylor Brands and get started on your business today. This is a paid advertisement. Hey, everybody. Welcome to Impact Theory. Today's guest is bestselling author Ken Honda, an international phenomenon trained by the Warren Buffett of Japan. He's written more than 50 books on personal finance and sold more than 7 million copies worldwide. His work bridges the gap between money management and self-development,

• 1:27Tom Bilyeu?

  and he's the first person from Japan to be inducted into the Transformational Leadership Council. By putting his own theories into practice, he was able to retire at just 29, and now spends his time writing, speaking, and publishing on what he's learned about money and human nature and helping people develop a healthy and sustainable relationship with their finances, regardless of the economy. Ken, welcome to the show, man.

• 1:52Speaker 01

  Thank you, Tom. I feel so honored to be here. It's early in the morning and you're in the evening, and this is more fun doing this.

• 2:00Tom Bilyeu?

  Dude, I love that, man. And yeah, so you're obviously in Japan right now for anybody wondering. So time zones for us are very, very different, but really excited. And one thing I wanted to talk about is that, like, how much of what you're doing do you think is uniquely Japanese? I have been to a lot of places in the world, and there are few places where I felt the cultural difference more palpably than in Tokyo. And I'm just curious how much that has influenced the way that you think about money?

• 2:31Speaker 01

  You know, as you said, my mentors have been teaching me so many things about money, but from a very different perspectives, mostly from Zen approach. So it's not, uh, uh, Western people tend to think that I need more money to be happy, but instead Zen approach is how can you find satisfaction in what you have? So it's not a matter of how much money you make or how much money you have. It's more about your attitude toward money. And the relationship you have with money gives you happiness or miserable life. So you really have to be careful with what you have.

• 3:09Tom Bilyeu?

  What are some of the tenets of Zen? So I studied Zen. I got really hardcore into Taoism when I was younger, like way hardcore, which led me then to studying Buddhism. I would definitely never claim to say that I practiced it, but studied Buddhism a fair amount. Zen, I found, may be the most intriguing but confusing. What are some of the, like, core tenets of Zen?

• 3:33Speaker 01

  So I had this opportunity to meet my mentor later on. His name is Wahe Takedo. So when I asked him to teach about money, he said his first lesson is forget about money. I'm so confused.

• 3:49Tom Bilyeu?

  Yeah, one of the things that I found super confusing and people so the where I was going is the notion of a Zen Cohen. And this is something that people probably in the US anyway, be tangentially familiar with. The most famous one we talk about is what is the sound of one hand clapping? And there are many Zen Cohens which are like beyond confusing. And of course, the idea is, once you understand sort of the absurdity of the question itself. And of course, I'm I'm doing this from a logical perspective and Zen is, I think, meant to be very different than that. But just to give people an anchor point, once you understand the absurdity of the question, then it's like you're a step closer to enlightenment. So when he said, forget about money, what was he?

• 4:32Tom Bilyeu?

  What was he trying to get you to? Like, what does that mean? Because obviously, it's not truly forget that it exists.

• 4:37Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 4:38Tom Bilyeu?

  So what does he mean?

• 4:39Speaker 01

  So I think he meant about where I focus. Because if you want money, you have to forget about money. You have to forget about what you can give to other people. How much service you can give out to the world, and then you receive money. So he was telling me not to focus on money because money is the end result of what we get after serving the world. So instead of focusing on what you get, you have to really focus on what you give. And and and our life is in the middle of giving and receiving. So unless we receive well, unless we we give well, we can receive. So we are in this cycle of appreciation or or resentment.

• 5:22Speaker 01

  Either cycle you're in, your life exists. So if you start appreciating your life about everything, including money, your life will be filled with money and appreciation. If your life will be filled with resentment, anger and fear.

• 5:39Speaker 01

  Around money and also around life, your life will be also surrounded by fear and resentment and anxiety. So he taught me how to focus instead of just getting the end result of money. And he was very well respected because he was talking about philanthropy. So I'm teaching about happiness and money ever since.

• 6:03Tom Bilyeu?

  Yeah, that the idea that he's been so incredibly successful obviously lends a lot of credence to the things that he says. And one of the things that I wanted to understand better about his teachings to you and your teachings, you've written so prolifically. What what is it like? How does it get that big? How does the topic sort of expand so far? What is it that people are getting wrong? And what are some of the like universal principles that are going to lead people to? I'll say wealth and it's probably worth defining. How would you define wealth? And then we'll go back to those two questions.

• 6:41Speaker 01

  In my mind, wealth is an emotion. You know, it doesn't really matter how much you have, how much you make. Because I've interviewed over the course of my career, I've interviewed many millionaires and billionaires. And some of them are very unhappy and very upset with everything. I'm sure you've met some happy ones and very unhappy ones. So and also among the people who are struggling with life, there are also happy people and unhappy people. So I think wealth is an attitude. If you feel like you're so happy and so content with what you have, you are already wealthy. But if you have, if you have to struggle every day

• 7:24Speaker 01

  and you cannot find happiness either in your business or in personal life, I think you're not wealthy, even if you have billions in your bank account. But that doesn't mean that you don't have to have money.

• 7:38Tom Bilyeu?

  That's what I like about your approach is there, there is a recognition. So part of the reason that I think that people continue to strive for money. I lived the nightmare of money can't buy you happiness. I had heard a thousand people tell me that money wasn't going to buy me happiness. That, you know, pursuing money outright was going to end up being a problem. And I still had to do it. And when I ran into the wall of, oh, really, truly money cannot buy you happiness. How is it that I ended up here? When all the people told me that this was going to be the outcome? Why did I have to walk this path? Like, why couldn't I just accept their wisdom? And I realized that one of the things that people don't talk about is that money really is powerful. Money is, you call it energy. I'll call it power. Like money gives you the ability to close your eyes. Imagine something that you want to create and then open your eyes and actually be able to do it.

• 8:23Tom Bilyeu?

  And if you have the skill set, of course. And so there, there is real utility in money. And when people talk about, and I've heard you say before, I don't want to get too spiritual. Like, I want to keep this grounded. And I think that that's really important because if you tell people, hey, forget about money. Because money doesn't matter, there's going to be a turn off. But if you tell people, hey, forget about money because it's going to reorient your mindset. It's going to change your behaviors. It's going to align your behaviors to something that's actually going to allow you to generate actual money. Then I think that it draws people in a little bit more. So with that context, I want to go back to the two questions. So what are the mistakes that people make? And what are some universal things people need to understand if they actually want to

• 9:07Tom Bilyeu?

  be wealthy in the way that you just defined?

• 9:09Speaker 01

  So I think most of us, the biggest problem, I think, especially today, is that we are so afraid of money. And so as much as we want money, we are so scared of it. So.

• 9:22Tom Bilyeu?

  Why do you say that? I think that that hit me as very counterintuitive. Why, why do you think people are scared of money?

• 9:28Speaker 01

  It's because of a money trauma. I call it money wounds that we, we've had since our childhood. We used to have some, unless your parents are perfect. And unfortunately, it's not the case in, in, in any, any culture. So we've been scolded about money, you know, we spend too much, we wasted the money, or we denied karate lesson, or soccer lesson, or ballet lesson, or piano lessons, because it's expensive. Some of my friends were taught, you are not worth it. At that stake, it's a big blow. So we've been denied so many times around money.

• 10:07Speaker 01

  So that's why, as much as we want money, because we feel money can buy happiness, or money can buy at least freedom, but at the same times, money have been abused, abused us for so many ways. So as much as we want to get close to it, but if we get too close to it, we get burns or like hurt. So for a lot of people, money is a mystery person.

• 10:35Tom Bilyeu?

  So how do they begin to change that relationship? I'm assuming some of this is going to be just narrative around how they talk to themselves about money? What do you advise people?

• 10:44Speaker 01

  You have to start watching your language. My mother used to say that. And then around money especially, a lot of people say like, you know, I was ripped off. So there are so many negative language around money. And my mentor, I had said, you have to use positive words around money. Otherwise, money will not like you.

• 11:07Tom Bilyeu?

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• 11:49Tom Bilyeu?

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• 12:33Tom Bilyeu?

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• 13:17Speaker 01

  And I really, I thought it's very cute, you know? And then, uh, in my book, I talk about what if, uh, if, if money were a person, who would it be like? Is that a person, a gentle person or angry person? So just, um, you know, uh, you have to pay attention to how you relate to money. Uh, if you just, um, feel like money is just a thing, like you don't care. But if you don't care, you know, uh, you end up being in debt. So you have to be very careful and respectful for, for money. Uh, for some Japanese people, actually one of my students made futon, you know, bed for wallet. It's, it's so cute to, to show respect, you know?

• 14:01Speaker 01

  While I rest, please, uh, money and credit cards, please rest here too. So it's like a little bed, like, like a cat, cat bed. And then you're supposed to put, uh, your wallet into the bed. So it's just a metaphor, but unless you show respect to money and, uh, the money coming in, money going out both ways. You cannot really feel, you cannot feel peaceful around money. Especially this hard time of economy. You have to really pay close attention to your emotions. And most of us are so controlled by anxiety and fear on money. That's why I do things which are now really true to us to, in order to survive.

• 14:45Speaker 01

  So we feel like if we have no money, we cannot survive. That means your death. So the funny switch is turned on. It's, I think it's our survival mechanism. You know, 200 years ago, 300 years ago, everybody was a farmer. Nobody's, you know, probably don't use much money. But now, unless you have money, you, you cannot buy food. So money and survival are so tied in your system.

• 15:16Tom Bilyeu?

  So as people begin to tell themselves a new narrative, they build the futon bed for their wallet. They think about who that person is. And they, I'm guessing, a lot of people are gonna think of that person as abusive or, you know, they wander off and they don't have a good relationship with that. So how do they begin to change their mindset around that? How do they begin to turn that narrative? Do you, do you tell them to imagine somebody who is kind or gentle? What is that process?

• 15:47Speaker 01

  So, but since we've been abused, we feel like we've been abused by this person. We, we're a little scared of this person, right? So I think the first step is actually the step that my mentor, Wahita Keda, taught me. That is, arigato, your money. Thank your money. When money comes in, either by, in a form of government check, or a salary, or a commission, or whatever the money you receive, you say, thank you, arigato. Thank you, money, for coming in. Because in these days, it's so, so rare to find you and then, and pay you. Somebody pays you, right? It either could be government, or your husband, wife, or your clients.

• 16:28Speaker 01

  There are so many other people who do the similar job that you do. But they chose you to pay you. So like, there are millions of reasons to appreciate for the money. So when money comes in, just say, thank you, or arigato, or danke, or shesho, or whatever your language, or mercy, you know? And, and then, when you spend money. Also, arigato, you know, because you're getting something for the money. And Wahe said, arigato in, arigato out. So it's almost like a karate kid teaching, you know, walks in, walks out. So he said, arigato in, arigato out. If you do it for two months and then come back.

• 17:08Speaker 01

  So I wanted to have some stock tips or like investment tips. So I expected something different, but the thing I got is arigato in, arigato out. And I practiced for two months and I felt genuinely happier. So I recommend anybody, you know, just try it at least because it doesn't cost you anything. And once you start appreciating money coming in, money going out, you start appreciating about other things. So this arigato in, arigato out opens a door to a new life, which is full of appreciation. And I think we definitely need that. Wahe said, appreciation melts fear and anxiety.

• 17:52Speaker 01

  So if you start and if you keep appreciating money coming and going out, you cannot worry about money at the same time because a human mind can focus one thing at a time. So Wahe has a very interesting, unique trick of sort of changing or wiring your brain. So once you start appreciating, it's so funny because one of my students said, oh gee Ken, I forgot to worry about money for a week because you focus on appreciation.

• 18:26Tom Bilyeu?

  Yeah, I think this is really powerful, is a very important first step. And when I think about my own journey, I won't say that I had a negative view about money. And if you had asked me to describe what money was, I probably would have, whoever I could think of that was like glamorous and exciting and powerful, like that was my vision of money, which is why I was chasing it so hard. Ultimately, coming to understand, okay, I'm making more money than I've ever made, but I'm not happier than I've ever been and the neurochemistry that I want to feel like this is not taking me there. And so I began to, what, what I began to do was change my behavior. So I changed my story about money that what I flipped over into was the only

• 19:10Tom Bilyeu?

  thing that matters is feeling alive. So I'm gonna stop chasing money. I'm gonna start thinking about value. And so I had a very negative connotation around money. And I just said, look, I'm gonna set that aside for now, and I'm just gonna pursue fulfillment. I'm gonna do things to add value to people's lives. I'm going to work to improve myself. That was a huge part for me was always wanting to get better myself. And what I found was, I needed both. I needed a change of mindset. I needed to stop thinking money was gonna solve my problems, but I also needed to change my behaviors. And ultimately, I don't, I, no one is ever going to think their way to success. I think that you're, you, you have to think in a new way that is advantageous, but you have to act in a new way that's advantageous.

• 19:56Tom Bilyeu?

  So after, you know, when you do the wax on, wax off, like eventually, we do find ourselves in a karate tournament, and we really do have to fight.

• 20:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:02Tom Bilyeu?

  So what does that look like, especially now in this crazy economy that we're going through right now? Let's get, let's go to that next phase. So people are, they're arigato money in, arigato money out. They've got the futon for their wallet, like they're in a zen place, like they're doing good. Now, like you retired at 29, not just because you were thinking, you retired at 29 because you ran businesses, you got very thoughtful about how to generate money and save it. How should people be acting with their money? So we get now how they should be thinking, but how should they be acting with their money?

• 20:35Speaker 01

  Thank you, Tom. I think it's a beautiful question. And I, I think that's exactly what we need to learn. Because once you start appreciating, your life shifts too. For example, one of the readers on my book, she was a single mom with a low paying job. She was working as a secretary. And then she came to me and she used to complain about her low paying job, but after reading my book, she changed her attitude and she started appreciating about life and boss. And, and she realized that she didn't have a college degree.

• 21:12Speaker 01

  But she got, she was hired as a secretary, so that's a big reason to appreciate her boss. Uh, before she was always complaining about him. And I think the feeling really probably came across to uh hi- uh her boss. And she got a big raise uh in a few weeks. So, once you start appreciating, I I've heard so many stories, I can even write few books on this. Uh, once you start appreciating your boss, your clients, uh they appreciate you back. So, uh uh in my twenties, the reason why I I I was successful was I was little uh unique in in so many di- different things. For example, when I was doing accounting consulting, I divided my gr- uh clients to two groups. One, I do regular job.

• 21:57Speaker 01

  The other, I always uh bring something whenever I I got to meet them. Just a herb tea, Japanese tea, like a book, or just not super expensive. So, in six months, I got so many referrals from uh the the gift giving groups. You know, I didn't uh ask for any clients, right? But they get me uh so many referrals. And the second, you know, uh group, uh not so much. So, uh I uh rec- uh recommend everybody to start giving more. Uh, something little extra, not like thirty percent more, but something to to show your appreciation. And uh it it doesn't really matter if you're florist, or cleaners, or uh uh business lawyers, or a dentist.

• 22:40Speaker 01

  If you start giving something, you get more. So, uh this is the law, I think. Uh, if you give more, um you receive more. And then uh there is one more extra reason to appreciate about. So, you you your life would shift. So, your whole energy would be so different and so content. And I think people want to do business with happier people. You know, people don't want to go with people who are very depressed. So, the people with radiance of appreciation often attracts uh more people and more opportunities. So, this is not a new age or spiritual thing. It's a practice to to um to appreciate more. So, uh what you appreciate, appreciates. And I think it's it's so simple.

• 23:25Speaker 01

  So, start appreciating about money is the first step. And then start, second step is start appreciating what you have. And if you start sharing what you have, I call it gift. All of us have gifts. I've written probably like half of my books, 20 books, on how to discover your gifts and monetize them. Because we are born, each of us is born with a special gift. And it's something to be shared with this planet. And if you can find it, and if you can improve it, and you can polish it, and just share with a society, I think that translates into money. So I wrote a national bestseller, Do What You Love and Make Sure Money Follows You.

• 24:11Speaker 01

  So it's very important. You have to have both.

• 24:14Tom Bilyeu?

  So talk to me about that. So the hearing you, I've heard you say that before, that you've written that many books on finding your gifts. So one, I'd like to know what that process is. I'm not a big believer, and I get this is, it'll be interesting to see your take on this. I'm not a big believer that we're born with something.

• 24:34Tom Bilyeu?

  But I think that we can polish, like you're saying, and really turn that into something. How do people find it? And then how do they polish it?

• 24:43Speaker 01

  No, I taught probably personally over hundreds of thousands of people, you know, through seminars and my coaching. I do a big event, so a few thousand people at a time. And I do a lot of Q and As. So I have this track record of how people found their gifts. And some people find them when they're very young. You know, when you're five or six or seven, you, your neighbor finds out that you're very good at chess, and then he ends up being champion. I've interviewed a Japanese champion once. And some geniuses are found that way. But most of us are not that way, right? We're not Olympic athletes, or we're not superstars. So most of us are not born with only one gift.

• 25:29Speaker 01

  We are born with several mediocre gifts. Like I was, I think I had a gift of speaking. I had a gift of teaching. I had the gift of making jokes. I make, I make jokes all the time. Money could be very boring. So, and money is, there are so many funny stories, especially couples, but anyway. So, you know, so there are many gifts, small gifts. But you have to multiply them, and then you become one and only. So.

• 25:58Tom Bilyeu?

  So I know where you're going with that. Before we get to how you chain them together, how do you find them? Because that, what you just said really resonates with me. You've got minor gifts, mediocre gifts, I think is your exact phrase. I love that. Okay, so you've got these mediocre things inside of you. How do you, how do you find them? Like, I don't, I don't know that people, and I know what your, the three things that you chain together are, and that'll be really interesting to hear you talk about that, especially the third one, which you haven't mentioned yet.

• 26:24Tom Bilyeu?

  How do people identify that? And maybe you walking us through how you found your three will be super useful.

• 26:30Speaker 01

  So, you know, some people find it by coincidence. You know, some people find out that your, your friend would say, "Hey, Ken, you're good at speaking." Like, uh, what? You know, because gifts are funny thing. It, it comes so naturally out of you. So you don't even notice it. So even if you're good at singing, you're good at speaking, you're good at connecting people, that's another gift. Yeah, I think you have the special gift of connecting people too. So if you have, even if you have so many gifts, you don't realize them unless you, you recognize them. And oftentimes, uh, I do, um, guide, uh, people to find their gifts. And in the process, they realize like,

• 27:10Speaker 01

  "Oh gee, all these years I've, I've known that I had the gift, but I never recognize it as a gift." Because.

• 27:17Tom Bilyeu?

  How do you guide people through that? Do you have them ask themselves questions?

• 27:20Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 27:20Tom Bilyeu?

  Or survey their friends?

• 27:21Speaker 01

  Some questions that people can go through.

• 27:24Tom Bilyeu?

  Literally a thousand?

• 27:25Speaker 01

  Yes. So for example, one of the question is like, uh, when, uh, when you were small, uh, what, what were the nicknames? And then the nicknames have strong something. Uh, by the way, my nickname was a teacher because I was like, I'm teaching kids, other kids. So like, uh, nicknames have certain, uh, characteristics already. Or like, uh, when you're a kid, uh, what were you scolded, uh, for? Uh, when I was small, uh, my mother used to say, you know, "You talk too much. Don't talk." That means I had the gift of talking because I want to express myself. So when you're scolded about something, that is a gift. But you thought it's a negative, it's your, actually, it's your flaws instead of thinking it's a gift.

• 28:10Speaker 01

  So there are thousands of questions and then when you just show a light on that, you realize, wow, I just never thought that I had so many gifts. And then once you kind of like recognize one by one by one, and then start sharing without thinking much, you know, you don't have to be, at this point, you don't have to be strategic about what's going to happen because it's, you know, fun things will come out, you never know. I've seen so many fun miracles happening to people's lives. So you discover certain gifts and then, uh, once you realize the gifts will come out on its own.

• 28:51Speaker 01

  It's a, it's so interesting organic mechanism that because you're so inspired by sharing your gifts. Because more you share, your people love it, love it. And you know, your listeners who love your shows, they're waiting for your shows. They'll be upset if you just get a sick leave or something, right? So like people give you energy. So once this cycle starts and you appreciate them for supporting you, it grows and grows and grows exponentially. And then when that happens, you don't want to stop. And then at some level, it will translate into money. So that's.

• 29:29Tom Bilyeu?

  Let's talk about that. So there, there's a gap there that I think a lot of people fall into and don't know how to get out of. So let's say that they, they do the exercise, they, you know, think about what they were into when they were young. They think about what they got scolded for, nicknames, all of that stuff, just things that they find interesting. And they go, okay, cool, these are the things that I think that I'm, it's a mediocre talent, but I'm willing to polish it and make it bigger. How do they monetize that? Like, how do they actually turn that into money?

• 29:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, so that is a miracle and also a fun part of life because you never know. Uh, one of my students was a insurance salesperson. And he didn't sell a lot because he didn't wanna push people. I'm sure a lot of people can relate to that. And one day, he was, he was told to do cold calls. He, so he had to go to the, uh, one, one big house. Well, there was a German shepherd. And then, uh, he knew that he loves dogs. And you know, some people, dog lovers, dogs know, you know, who they are. So when he was, uh, in the house and, and he didn't, and then it says beware of dog. But he, he didn't really care. So the duck, the dog didn't really, um, uh, shout at him and bark at him.

• 30:40Speaker 01

  And the owner, uh, grandmother was so impressed because everybody was harassed by this dog. You know, mailman and a delivery man. And so she thought it's, you know, it's interesting. So why don't you come up to my house and have, have a cup of tea? And then he was invited in and, and then she fell in love with this guy because, you know, uh, whoever, um, her dog loves, uh, this person means he's a good man. And then, uh, she was a head, uh, figure in this, uh, entire neighborhood. So he could sell so many insurance policies. And later on, he found this dog club. Uh, and then, uh, so like, uh, uh, they do only barbecues.

• 31:24Speaker 01

  You know, they do nothing but with dogs, you know, by the riverside. And they go on a trip and so all he does is not selling insurance. But since he, he had, he's surrounded by so many people, you know, uh, there is a need for insurance. He gets it. There's another insurance, uh, per, salesperson who, she loved cooking. So she kinda like did the cooking classes, right? For free. And, uh, and, uh, cooking classes grew and, uh, she ended up being, uh, uh, the cooking class teacher. But, uh, she sold so many insurance policies, uh, uh, on the way. And she found more passion in cooking, so he, she quit the insurance, uh, business. But.

• 32:06Speaker 01

  In the process of expressing and finding who you are, happy money follows you. So forget about money is that teaching. But you know, at the same time, don't forget it completely. You have to make both ends meet. So that's, you know, I have this accounting consulting background. So I'm a very practical person. So you have to make sure all the bills are paid in appreciation. And at the same time, grow your, your energy.

• 32:36Speaker 01

  Most biggest problem that we have is that we are depressed with our lives. So we don't have hopes. We're not excited about our lives. That's why I think.

• 32:46Tom Bilyeu?

  Dude, talk to me about that. So how do, how do people flip that around?

• 32:50Speaker 01

  You know, you have to take a look at life in a different perspective. That's why I'm teaching. For example, one of my, in my seminars, I take a lot of questions. And it was thousands of people. So in, in, in the back, so I couldn't really see the, the person who asked me question. And she said, I'm too old. And she sounded very young and, and I couldn't, I can't really see, how old are you? And she said, I'm 23. And everybody's like, ooh. And then she said, I'm the oldest, oldest person in college. Everybody's like 19, 20, and I'm, I'm on, I'm an, you know, old grandmother. People laughing.

• 33:34Speaker 01

  And she felt, she felt so old and she's so outdated. And then I realized that I don't know who, how old you are, but you're 35, 45, 55, 25 or 5. You are the oldest in your life, right? So I heard a seven year old boy saying, oh, I'm getting old, you know? So if you're oldest at your age and from your future, you are the youngest.

• 34:06Speaker 01

  Looking back ten years from now, so you are the oldest and youngest at the same time. So some people start old, so don't compare with other people. Some people start young and then successful in their thirties and forties and they collapse in their fifties. So don't compare yourself with other people. Just look at yourself and focus yourself. And if you focus on who you are and what will come out of your life. And the best thing I can give you is I want you to be curious about your life. You know, what is inside me that is going to be turned into money? Or turn into something that will please and entertain so many people.

• 34:51Speaker 01

  And it could be your writing, could be your cooking, could be something else, you know. For me, it was speaking and writing. I never knew I could write and I could speak until I was thirty three or four, when I started writing. So you'll be surprised by yourself. I was surprised at myself, like I didn't know I could write and speak. So.

• 35:14Tom Bilyeu?

  It's interesting, there's a few things in here that I wanna try to pull apart. So one is Peter Thiel talks about competition being for suckers. And he says, you wanna go somewhere where there's no competition. And you've talked about if you identify one gift, you might not be unique. Maybe there are a lot of people that share that gift. And then you said, but if you can find two or three gifts and you put them together, then you may be one of the only. And so you've said, the gifts that you had, that you've taken the time to polish are you can write, you can speak, and you consider yourself a healer. And you said, once I put them together and if I misspeak how you define healer, let me know. But you're saying, I help people heal their past traumas about money, to change the story, the way that they think about it.

• 35:58Tom Bilyeu?

  And I thought, that's actually really interesting and it does make you an incredibly unique voice. And when I was first looking at you and researching you for the show, it was like that that puts him in this very unique category unlike because I've since the economy has taken the hit that it's taken. I've been trying to find people that have a really useful voice in finance to help the average person through this. I don't want to bring in high level investors that are going to talk about gold and all that shit. It's like that does not help the average person get through what we're going through. So seeing you bring those three things together in this incredibly unique way, I think is interesting. So we've got that, the find your unique place.

• 36:40Tom Bilyeu?

  And then we've got this other concept you're talking about, which I think, I think is insanely important. And I want to know if to you, these end up coming together, which is people are depressed about their lives and they're depressed about their lives because of how they look at it, the frame of reference, the story they're telling. So this is my mission, like getting people to reframe their life is like what I think about day and night. So how do people, you obviously gave us what I'll call the tip of the iceberg just now in terms of how they can begin to reframe and get out. But that unique gift of of turning yourself into sort of a unique commodity. Do you see these things coming together in any way?

• 37:16Speaker 01

  Yes, I think you said it so beautifully. One of my favorite seminars I do, at least here, you know, I do, this is a retreat center I have, is reading your life's script. That means

• 37:28Tom Bilyeu?

  That you write yourself?

• 37:29Speaker 01

  Read. Yes, or I don't know who wrote it, but definitely there's a life script. When you look at your life, there are so many, a series of events that shifted your life and also made who you are. And mostly in what I found is among all the negative events that you had, that your father was killed and in war, or your, your, your parents got divorced, or you got sick when you were like eight or 10. So among all these negative events, there is a seed of your life purpose. So if you find your life purpose, you will be very different forever because

• 38:11Speaker 01

  Once you know you are born to do, I mean, not like, you know, almost like enlightenment, but it's like a slight enlightenment. Wow, I think I was born with these hardships because I think I maybe I'm meant to do this. You know, I was in this abuse, I was brought up in this abusive environment. My father is wealthy, so he had money and fame, but we're miserable. So that's why that set me to this journey to find happiness, the quest for happiness and money. That turned me in, that turned me who I am. And that's so I.

• 38:51Tom Bilyeu?

  Can you give us a little background? The story with your dad, I think, is very, very interesting.

• 38:55Speaker 01

  You know, my father was a very successful accountant and consultant. So, but he was a very samurai type of guy. He never cries, he never just smiles, and just a very rigid guy. So I was in this environment where we knew we had money, but we didn't have the safety in our house. So I really wanted to know why people are messed up that way. And then why can't we, we cannot find peace and happiness in our, in our, in our family? So that was the real start of my, of my life.

• 39:32Tom Bilyeu?

  Talk to me about the time that you came home and found your dad crying. That, that, that was super intense.

• 39:39Speaker 01

  Yes, I think I was eight or nine years old when I came home and I saw my father crying like a baby. He was really crying in, in kitchen. I was super surprised and my, my mother took me aside and just explained what, what's going on. But I was in total shock because I've never seen my father, a man, crying. And my mother told me uh that uh my father's um friend, not not best friend and and his client uh committed suicide. And I sort of knew what suicide mean, but uh it's not he only his uh life.

• 40:20Speaker 01

  He killed uh his entire family and after he killed himself. We call it family suicide. And that was the first time I learned about the term family suicide. It was very particular in Japanese culture uh in in in in order to save uh his family from the disgrace of bankruptcy. He had killed an entire family uh and also he killed himself. And he uh he came to my father a few days before to ask uh uh for a loan. And he had the money, but he didn't give it to him because um the money he loans to his client, his friend would go directly to loan sharks.

• 41:03Speaker 01

  So he was recommending to file bankruptcy and after bankruptcy, he was going to give the money. The money can be used for the family. But he is a samurai guy, but so he didn't tell him that he has the money. But he said, no, I'm not gonna loan loan the money. So he regretted, regretted, regretted after the family suicide. And that really triggered him into going into alcohol. So uh killing the entire family because of money really scared me and gave me a lot of nightmares for for days. Sometimes I I still sometimes get that. When I hear in news that somebody lost jobs and and millions of people uh losing jobs.

• 41:46Speaker 01

  So I'm I'm feeling a little restless about what's going on. That's why I'm more uh inspired to help other people to find peace and happiness. But uh he really didn't recover from that and he passed away seventeen years ago. But um so but uh I think my father's generation and my grandfather's generation, I feel like um they're giving me powers and an inspiration to to for me to share what I know.

• 42:13Tom Bilyeu?

  What do you mean by that? You're saying in in that trauma, in the way that they got caught up in it? That gives you the power to?

• 42:20Speaker 01

  Yes, because I I feel.

• 42:21Tom Bilyeu?

  Interesting man, it's an interesting way to frame it.

• 42:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, I feel so much pain around around him. And I feel so much uh pain for my uh grand grandfather, who died when he was forty two or three because of the war. So this uh three generations of uh unhappiness and despair and anger and resentment is all kind of like cleaned in me and also gets healed and transformed and become this uh uh incredible amount of energy to to to be able to support people. That's why I think my books uh have been sold millions of copies. Because I love to help people who are in anxiety, fear and resentment.

• 43:07Speaker 01

  Because in some some uh area, we are upset about not being fair, right? So but uh unless we heal this pain that's inside, it's nothing to do with money, it's nothing to do with what's going on out there, it's nothing to do with uh politics. It's inside, it's wounds and the money scars and and all the generational block that uh uh have have been handed down from our parents and negative beliefs around money and about life and work. Uh they're also handed down from our grandparents, right? So it's been a generational block.

• 43:47Speaker 01

  So if you can uh turn all the pain into life force energy, you know, you feel this inspiration in you, that will keep you going. So otherwise, you have to shut them off.

• 44:01Tom Bilyeu?

  Otherwise, you have to shut them off. I was, what do you mean by that?

• 44:04Speaker 01

  Uh, because you don't wanna do, um, you know, uh, I know a friend whose father is also alcoholic and he doesn't wanna remember any of his childhood. He doesn't wanna just talk with his, uh, you know, father.

• 44:16Tom Bilyeu?

  Either forget about it, or you have to reframe it and make it useful. That's very, very interesting. Um, you've actually talked a lot about friends. Having a good friendship network is actually more valuable ultimately than having a lot of money. I'm super, that, that is such an interesting reaction to your daughter. I did not expect that. What are, what are some other elements of building friends? And then, um, I think it will help people, why is friendship more protective, maybe the right word, than money?

• 44:48Speaker 01

  You know, um, I always talk about, um, how to melt money fear. I, uh, told them, I, I teach people, uh, make friends because they are the asset. They are the insurance for you when the economy, uh, economy breaks down. Uh, you know, everybody has a friend who can let you stay for a week or two. And, uh, I kinda like counted, you know, just wrote down the names. Okay, he's good, you know, this guy is maybe two weeks, you know? And then, uh, I, I calculated more than 50 friends. And then, uh, I can stay, uh, one friend at one week, second, second week. And then after 52 friends, I can come back to my friend number one and say, it's been a year. How are you?

• 45:33Speaker 01

  So, so without any money, I can, uh, live forever. I have enough friends who can support me. So I have no fear on money because I know somebody will just, um, take care of me. And the feeling, uh, I have no debt, so I, I'm not in an era of, um, uh, I, I don't plan to file bankruptcy. Uh, but even if I lose everything. I have so many friends and supporters who can help me. So whatever happens to me, I feel somebody is gonna just catch me, protect me. So if you have that feeling that somebody will not let you fall, you feel safe.

• 46:18Speaker 01

  So it's not the government, it's not your insurance, it's not the money in the bank. You know, it's your friends and people who care about you. And if you have a complete trust in the future, you don't have to worry about money. You know, people worry about money because they worry about no money situation. And I have interviewed so many millionaires who happen to be in no money situation many times. And no money situation doesn't kill you. Worry about no money situation kills you. So.

• 46:48Tom Bilyeu?

  I think you'll have to explain to people the difference between no money and being actually afraid of the no money situation.

• 46:54Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 46:54Tom Bilyeu?

  What do you mean by that exactly?

• 46:55Speaker 01

  So say you run out of money, cash, right? And then you have, you cannot pay the rent, you have to get out of your apartment and you say file bankruptcy, for example. So being in no money situation is not comfortable. I've never been in one because I've been very careful. But I've known people and friends who have been into a situation. They don't want to go back there again, but it didn't, the experience didn't kill them. You know, it's kind of depressing, but at the same time, once you lose everything, you realize that so many people are kind to you. One of my friends who filed bankruptcy on the night, he got a call from these five friends who just say,

• 47:39Speaker 01

  why don't you come to my house, you know, have an extra room? And then he just cried while he was on the phone. So people, when he was successful, he didn't care about friends, his friends, right? He was so like, you know, successful. But people are so obsessed, almost like obsession, have this obsession of making sure that there will not be in no money situation. That's why they're not taking risks and start their own businesses. That's why they're not leaving their jobs. That's why they're not leaving their husbands and wives because they're so afraid that one day you'll be in this no money situation, which is like, they're more afraid of no money situation than death.

• 48:25Speaker 01

  So I'm just teaching people, normal situation is not, it could be a scary place, but that could be a great start for financial independence. So whenever I get an email saying I have a bankruptcy two days ago, I was sent back an email saying, congratulations, you are in the starting point toward financial independence, because they are.

• 48:51Tom Bilyeu?

  Yeah, I think that reaction is really, really powerful. And I've thought about, so, and you talk about this pretty openly, just because I am wealthy today does not mean that I'm going to be wealthy at 50.

• 49:02Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 49:02Tom Bilyeu?

  So especially now in an economy where something I could never have imagined is happening, you go, hmm, like, nothing is forever. And one of the things, and this is, bring it all back around to Zen, where what I found so intriguing about Buddhism was the revelation that life is suffering. And once you realize, this is a game, so now I'm using my words. I don't know that any Buddhist would ever say what I'm about to say, but this was my interpretation of Buddhism. Once you realize that you're playing a game of neurochemistry, and when you suffer because you want something, or you're trying to keep up with the Joneses, or you have a negative story that you're telling yourself about your own self-worth, because what your parents said, you're not worth the money,

• 49:47Tom Bilyeu?

  or, you know, they're shaming you for how you spend your money, or whatever the case, like, whatever has happened to you, whatever wound you have, like, people begin to get a sense of self that is about that wound. And so they're not feeling good, and they, they're trying everything they can to escape that. And it's like, okay, what is the sort of original progenitor of this sense of suffering? Desire, right? And so that Buddhist notion of desire gives birth to all of your suffering. And understanding like the notion of attachment, and that when you are obsessed with money, rule number one, forget about money. Like, if you really want to make progress.

• 50:25Tom Bilyeu?

  That notion is is so critical for people to understand to to ask themselves, what is the physics of this situation? The physics of this situation is you're having a biological experience. Your brain is kicking off certain neurotransmitters and a cocktail of chemicals that makes you feel a certain way. Either that certain way feels good or that certain way feels bad. And really beginning to understand what's happening inside your mind is the very thing that manifests the good feeling or the bad feeling. Okay, well, great. If this isn't about external stimulus, if it's not about I have a lot of money and I feel good, I have little money and I feel bad. And it's what am I thinking and feeling inside myself?

• 51:09Tom Bilyeu?

  And how much control do I have over that? Like, you really begin to understand. And I look, I think that the way you think is only one part of the equation. I don't think that Wahi became, you know, the Warren Buffett of Japan simply because he thought in positive ways. But until you get that part right, your your behaviors just won't align with anything useful. That's what I found myself drawn to in your philosophy is that notion of taking this very zen approach of having those realizations about the way that this is a mental game.

• 51:47Speaker 01

  Mm hmm. Yes, exactly. You said it so beautifully. And culture difference, too. I've been interviewed by so many different people from different cultures. One of the most often asked questions in America is like, I talk about money container. You know, everybody's born with a certain size money container is what I what I what I say. And American people want to know, how can I make my money container bigger so I can be wealthy? So that is a typical question I get from North America. So it's a totally different approach. So it's a, you know, it's not a good or bad. But if you just totally shift. So I teach Japanese people more American way. Okay, you're okay, you know, don't be satisfied, dream big.

• 52:32Speaker 01

  For North American people, maybe you don't need a big house. May- maybe you don't need three cars, you know? You could downsize and still find a fulfillment in life too. So you have to really kind of like change perspectives. So that way you can really um uh find out who you are. And without all the toys, you can be still happy. And I think that's what everybody is experiencing like. What what do I?

• 52:59Tom Bilyeu?

  Let me ask you that. I was literally gonna ask you that question. So in researching you, I started thinking, what would I do if I lost all my money? How would I find like my or how the way that I think about? How would I create my a happy life? And I began to think about like, what are the things that cost very little money? But bring me an extraordinary amount of joy. What are those things for you?

• 53:25Speaker 01

  I think, you know, there are many B and B here. So I want to be hired by somebody in this in a in a neighborhood. And then whoever comes in this, I'll do the chores. And meanwhile, I have a little chat with them. And then I I I asked them a few questions and then they get lit up and like, wow, gee, I wanna go home. And just stop my something. So I just wanna be a like a old guy just sweeping floors and just have a friendly chat. Not, you know, not as a famous person, just a just a regular guy, just exchanging ideas.

• 54:02Speaker 01

  And then after thirty minutes of a friendly conversation, he or she feels so much lighter, more fun and more joyful. And that's how who I want to be. And I'm okay with a rice bowl and some fish or like some vegetables.

• 54:21Tom Bilyeu?

  I love that, man. That is fantastic. Where can people connect with you?

• 54:27Speaker 01

  So I have not much information yet in English. You can find Google Ken, K K E N Honda, H O N D as in the car and kenhonda.com. Or I've been interviewed by somebody like you, who are so beautiful. So there are some YouTube videos that are up. And I am creating many free content. So how people can find gifts and all that. So I'm trying to translate many of, I have stacks of books and also many work and a lot of fun stuff. So been translating into English.

• 55:08Tom Bilyeu?

  I love it, man. Well, Ken, thank you so much for joining me on the show today. Really, really incredible. I think super powerful and I hope that people will dive in and watch the videos, which I have done. They're fantastic. Read the book, Happy Money, fantastic. Thank you, man. All right, guys, if you haven't already, be sure to subscribe and until next time, my friends, be legendary. Take care.

• 55:32Speaker 01

  Thank you so much.

• 55:34Tom Bilyeu?

  Everybody, thank you so much for listening. And if this content is delivering value to you, please go to iTunes, go to Stitcher, rate and review us. That helps us build this community and that is what we are all about right now. Building this community as big as we can to help as many people as we can, deliver as much value as possible. And you guys rating and reviewing really helps with that. All right, guys, thank you again so much. And until next time, my friends, be legendary. Take care.

• 56:03Tom Bilyeu?

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