Secrets to Building a Multi-Million Dollar Business Feat. Andy Frisella

The Secrets to Building a Multi-Million Dollar Business Revealed! Ever wonder what it really takes to build a multi-million dollar business from scratch? In this powerful mashup episode, I’m joined by Andy Frisella, Dean Graziosi, and Jay Shetty to dig deep into the exact mindset, strategies, and sacrifices it takes to create massive success. These guys don't just talk about winning—they live it, and today, they’re breaking it all down for you. From Andy’s raw journey of building 1st Phorm, to Dean’s obsession with serving others, to Jay’s wisdom on mastering the process—these lessons are what separates the best from the rest. Here’s what you’ll discover: - Andy Frisella opens up about the zero-option mentality that fueled his relentless pursuit of success, even during the 10 years he barely made a dime. - Dean Graziosi shares why it’s crucial to pay the success tax, and why doing the small things well will lead to the biggest breakthroughs in your business and life. - Jay Shetty talks about detaching from outcomes and focusing on perfecting the process, the real key to long-term success. This episode is filled with hard-earned truths, mindset shifts, and actionable steps that will help you build the life and business you’ve always dreamed of. Don’t just think about success—go out and create it! Key Takeaways: - How the zero-option mentality will drive you through the hardest challenges. - The importance of paying the success tax and why mastery of the small things leads to massive success. - Why focusing on the process—not the outcome—is the secret to sustaining growth and fulfillment. It’s time to dive into the real-world strategies behind building a multi-million dollar business. Let’s go! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

  So hey guys, listen, we're all trying to get more productive and the question is, how do you find a way to get an edge? I'm a big believer that if you're getting mentoring or you're in an environment that causes growth, a growth-based environment, that you're much more likely to grow and you're going to grow faster. And that's why I love Growth Day. Growth Day is an app that my friend Brendan Burchard has created that I'm a big fan of. Write this down, growthday.com/ed. So if you want to be more productive, by the way, he's asked me, I post videos in there every single Monday that gets your day off to the right start. He's got about $5,000, $10,000 worth of courses that are in there that come with the app. Also, some of the top influencers in the world are all posting content and they're on a regular basis, like having the Avengers of personal development and business in one app. And I'm honored that he asked me to be a part of it as well and contribute on a weekly basis, and I do.

• 0:45Ed Mylett?

  So go over there and get signed up. You're going to get a free, tuition-free voucher to go to an event with Brendan and myself and a bunch of other influencers as well. So you get a free event out of it also. So go to growthday.com/ed. That's growthday.com/ed. I hear so many small business owners say the exact same thing. They just never have enough time in the day. Well, I measure time differently. I've compressed, condensed, heck, I've bent time. My first day is 6:00 a.m. to noon. My second day starts at noon and goes till 6:00 p.m. And my third day, 6:00 p.m. to midnight. I now get 21 days a week. Stack that up over a month, over a year, over five years, and my life's completely different than it would have been otherwise. And if you want to win as an entrepreneur, you have to compress your time too.

• 1:30Ed Mylett?

  And you definitely can't afford to waste it waiting weeks on a big bank for capital. Your best bet's to work with my friends at Cardiff. They know how to compress time for entrepreneurs. They get your business approved in minutes and funded the very same day. They're America's favorite small business lender, and for good reason. Over 20 years in business, over $12 billion deployed to small business across America. Stop letting bank delays slow down your momentum. Head to cardiff.co/ed. That's cardiff.co/ed. Cardiff.co. Real growth, fast funding. Cardiff, borrow better.

• 2:08Dean Graziosi?

  This is the Ed Mylett Show.

• 2:13Ed Mylett?

  Hey everyone, welcome to my weekend special. I hope you enjoy the show. Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. I am so fired up to have this dude right here with me. I've got the great Andy Frisella here with me today. Thanks for being here, brother.

• 2:29Andy Frisella?

  Appreciate it, man. Thank you.

• 2:30Ed Mylett?

  It's already been a great day spending time with you. Alright, so let's start out for a little bit. I know how you grew up. You were kind of an athlete guy, but you were kind of, did you grow up like wealthy, poor, middle-class? How'd you grow up?

• 2:41Andy Frisella?

  We, I was very fortunate. I grew up a little bit of everything. So, my parents were divorced when I was about five years old, and they were both entrepreneurs. My mom owned a VCR repair shop, okay? So like, they took people's, you know, obviously it's not a very lucrative business. My dad owned a pretty large company, an electrical distributor. He started when he was, he was 18-years-old by buying the spare parts out of an old guy's garage. He started a business out of that. So, I, my dad became very successful financially,

• 3:24Andy Frisella?

  but you would've never know it, and you still wouldn't know it. He was, he's a regular dude. You know, if you see, if you saw him walking down the street, he's wearing a Harley-Davidson shirt and jean shorts, and you're like, you know, here's this crazy old dude. He's a really smart guy, and he's been very successful. My mom and stepdad, we grew up, and that's where I lived. We lived on a gravel road in South County here in Missouri. It was a pretty small house.

• 3:50Ed Mylett?

  Like a typical Midwest upbringing.

• 3:52Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, nothing, nothing crazy. And they ended up becoming very successful, and then, when I say very successful, very, very successful. A nine-figure company.

• 4:01Ed Mylett?

  Whoa.

• 4:02Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. And then, they ended up losing it all. So they went from very poor, to very, very wealthy, to very, very poor, in a very short amount of time, in a span of about 10 years. And...

• 4:16Andy Frisella?

  It was extremely valuable upbringing because my dad, I never knew my dad was successful because he's very like modest type guy. He lives in a regular house, still to this day. He never drove like crazy cars or had all the what you see on Instagram or any of this stuff, you know? Maybe I'm overcompensating, I don't know.

• 4:32Ed Mylett?

  Dude, you're compensating because this is unbelievable, just so you know.

• 4:35Andy Frisella?

  But, you know, we grew up in a

• 4:40Andy Frisella?

  in a situation where I was able to experience a lot of things. I was able to, I was able to see what it was like to be very poor. I was able to observe what it took to become wealthy and I was able to observe what happens when you don't keep your eye on the ball.

• 4:51Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 4:52Andy Frisella?

  And I saw a lot, I saw a nine-figure company go to a zero-figure company within a matter of 18 months.

• 4:58Ed Mylett?

  But you were always around entrepreneurs though, right?

• 5:01Andy Frisella?

  Yes, that's all I ever knew.

• 5:02Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, you and I were talking earlier, we both had baseball card businesses and no, we both started really young. Probably a lot of you have had that bug too or should have that bug, but so you, this is, it just blows my mind, especially what's happened to you the last five or seven years. But I think people see the Ford GTs, they see the Lambos. They see this first form brand you guys have built, which is just unbelievable.

• 5:22Andy Frisella?

  Thank you.

• 5:23Ed Mylett?

  I mean, it really is, man, but I'm proud of you. I love seeing young stud entrepreneurs.

• 5:27Andy Frisella?

  That means a lot, man, especially from you.

• 5:29Ed Mylett?

  Thank you, brother. And, but you start out, so let's go right to the business part because this is the part that I think people like, they've heard some of this, but not all of it. And I hope today we're going to get to some stuff they haven't heard too, but so you start, you and your, it's your brother, right? You guys start your first, you do a

• 5:42Andy Frisella?

  So Chris, who you met, my business partner, that's not my brother.

• 5:45Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 5:46Andy Frisella?

  He's my brother, but from another mother. But, and then my actual brother works with us too.

• 5:52Ed Mylett?

  Your actual brother works too?

• 5:53Andy Frisella?

  Yes.

• 5:53Ed Mylett?

  Okay, so you're, how old are you when you opened your first store? You opened a supplement superstore, right?

• 5:57Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, supplement superstore, yeah.

• 5:59Ed Mylett?

  Okay, and how'd that go on the very beginning? I know a little bit of this.

• 6:01Andy Frisella?

  Well, you know, like most of you guys, I wanted to be rich. And I said, I was looking for all these things of how to, you know, become wealthy. And so me and Chris were like, hey, let's start selling vitamins. We both like to work out. It seemed like it made sense, you know?

• 6:19Andy Frisella?

  So we, we decided we were gonna start a business.

• 6:21Ed Mylett?

  How'd you get the money to open the first store?

• 6:22Andy Frisella?

  We, we both painted parking lot stripes at night and it paid like 20 bucks an hour. And back then, like in 1999, 20 bucks an hour for painting those, dude, that was like a hundred bucks an hour. You know what I mean?

• 6:34Ed Mylett?

  So you did it on purpose to accumulate the deposit or whatever to start your first biz or?

• 6:38Andy Frisella?

  Basically, yeah.

• 6:38Ed Mylett?

  Wow.

• 6:39Andy Frisella?

  And then, uh, and then to, so we had 12 grand. Nobody would rent to us because we were just kids. We had no credit. So we had to pay our year's rent upfront, which was a thousand bucks a month. So that took up all our capital. So to finance the build out and then to finance the inventory, we, we ran it up on credit cards.

• 6:55Ed Mylett?

  Wow, cuz you couldn't get a loan?

• 6:56Andy Frisella?

  Right.

• 6:57Ed Mylett?

  Crap.

• 6:57Andy Frisella?

  So.

• 6:57Ed Mylett?

  So you opened the store, you've paid the rent, by the way, I did that too, which is a blessing cuz it didn't let me back out.

• 7:03Andy Frisella?

  Exactly.

• 7:03Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 7:03Andy Frisella?

  Well, and that was the thing. We had nowhere to live. We didn't have anything. We had to live in the store.

• 7:07Ed Mylett?

  You lived in the store?

• 7:08Andy Frisella?

  Yeah. So we had, we had a couch that we got from my dad, which was a love seat. Um, and then we had a mattress that we got from a Salvation Army that was in the same center, Salvation Army retail store. And we slept at the back of the store and, and, uh, we thought it was cool. You know, we thought it was fun. Like it was, we were 19, we had a business, you know, we.

• 7:29Ed Mylett?

  Freaking awesome.

• 7:29Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, we thought it was cool. Like everybody's like, oh man, that must've sucked. No, honestly, like it was some of the best times.

• 7:35Ed Mylett?

  You know what's funny? Cuz I was, you and I were walking around here, I was looking at your cars and we're talking about our lives now and stuff and like, honestly, I mean, it sounds like I'm going back like, you know, I'm an old man, time of the old days, but I'm, I loved those times.

• 7:46Andy Frisella?

  I did too.

• 7:46Ed Mylett?

  I loved those hard times. I loved the obsession. I loved the struggle with it. Did you, so you're living in the store, so that means, that tells me probably you didn't have like a monster first year.

• 7:55Andy Frisella?

  Oh, no. Our first day, we had, uh, our first day, we sold seven bucks.

• 8:00Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, seven bucks.

• 8:01Andy Frisella?

  Our second day, we sold zero. Uh, our third day, we sold 22 bucks. And it went like that for, for literally years, um, where we would have days of no sales. Uh, we didn't have money to advertise, so the only way we could get people in was literally one at a time and then help, create the word of mouth off of those one-off transactions.

• 8:20Ed Mylett?

  Like, did you make any money the first year?

• 8:21Andy Frisella?

  Oh, no. I didn't make any money. It took me, the first three years, I got zero pay, zero, zero pay, not.

• 8:28Ed Mylett?

  Wait, three? Three years.

• 8:29Andy Frisella?

  Three years.

• 8:29Ed Mylett?

  So how'd you, I mean, I know you're living there, but how do you eat?

• 8:31Andy Frisella?

  Well, we've worked other jobs, so we both bartended at night and worked security at bars at night. And then worked at gyms. So we worked other jobs. So one of us worked at the store and the other one would go work at the other job and this and that. And then we kind of just pulled the money. And Chris and I are partners on every business that that we own still because of this.

• 8:48Ed Mylett?

  He's a good dude. I met him.

• 8:49Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, he's awesome.

• 8:50Ed Mylett?

  You know what? That's a lesson though. Like so many young people out there that are entrepreneurs is like, what sacrifices are you willing to make? It's almost like the first thing you sacrifice is your dream. So when it's not working, you're broke, you sacrifice your dream. And I I worked extra jobs too. It's like, it didn't even occur to you that that was that big of a deal. Like, I'm gonna make this thing work.

• 9:06Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, it's, I call it zero option mentality. You know, you should always try to cultivate. Like, in that time, I literally had zero options. I didn't have a degree, uh, which, you know, I feel is less important now for people. Yeah, it's less important now, but 15, 20 years ago, it was still a big deal. So I didn't have a degree. Uh, I didn't have any place to go work. You know, my, my dad didn't have his company anymore. I didn't have a, I didn't have a backup plan. I had to make it work or otherwise I was gonna be digging ditches. And I didn't want to dig ditches, you know? And if you're out there digging ditches, I feel you're paying because I've done that before. You know, uh, and if I had to do it, I would do it again, but I don't want to go back and that's.

• 9:41Ed Mylett?

  You went three years no money, though.

• 9:43Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 9:43Ed Mylett?

  So where you.

• 9:43Andy Frisella?

  The last, the next seven years, the most I made in a month was $695. So for 10 years, I never made more than $695 in a month.

• 9:51Ed Mylett?

  What?

• 9:52Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 9:53Ed Mylett?

  10 years of doing the business, you're, you're making $700 a month. Is that what you just said?

• 9:57Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 9:58Ed Mylett?

  Oh, my God.

• 9:58Andy Frisella?

  11th, the 11th year I made 45 grand. The 12th year I made 180 and then it went up.

• 10:03Ed Mylett?

  Then it went up.

• 10:03Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 10:04Ed Mylett?

  It's interesting. Most people, their businesses, they, they make all these deposits, you know, they start. And then they withdraw all of it too soon. They never get to collect.

• 10:11Andy Frisella?

  Well, and that's the thing, you know, Chris and I kind of got in that routine of living below our means.

• 10:15Ed Mylett?

  Me too.

• 10:16Andy Frisella?

  So we were able to continually put money in and put money in and put money in and put money in. There was a number of years where we had employees that made much more money than us. You know, we were paying other people in our company way more than we were paying ourselves. And, uh, that's what you have to do. It's, it's what do you want to invest and what are you willing to give? And, and I agree with you. People, people want to get paid too soon. They want to, they want to live the life too soon.

• 10:37Ed Mylett?

  Way too soon.

• 10:37Andy Frisella?

  You know, and, and. Like, this is, this is why I stopped posting a lot of my personal, like, I used to post all my cars on Instagram.

• 10:44Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 10:44Andy Frisella?

  I stopped posting it. And I still post them sometimes.

• 10:46Ed Mylett?

  Me too.

• 10:47Andy Frisella?

  But, the reason I stopped was because I started realizing that I'm hurting younger entrepreneurs in a way where they think they need to be living that now.

• 10:55Ed Mylett?

  Man.

• 10:55Andy Frisella?

  When in reality, they should be pulling in the expenses.

• 10:59Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 10:59Andy Frisella?

  You know, battening the hatches, so to speak.

• 11:02Ed Mylett?

  Well, here's how true that is. So, both of us. So, the first thing I asked him, because here's how much I believe that too. It's like, all I did when I was young, I sacrificed, by the way, 10 years is awesome, because most people don't have that in them. They don't have that sacrifice work.

• 11:12Andy Frisella?

  I didn't have a choice.

• 11:13Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 11:14Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 11:14Ed Mylett?

  You know what? I didn't either, now that I think about it.

• 11:16Andy Frisella?

  Right.

• 11:16Ed Mylett?

  But, the first thing I asked him is, I walked in here, and I was looking through all these cars. What's the first thing I asked you? I said, "Do you own these?"

• 11:21Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 11:22Ed Mylett?

  And he said, "Yeah, I do. I got titled to all of them," right? And that's a big deal to me, because we both, same model, right? Same struggles, same young, same extra jobs. But, what we were both doing, we weren't interested when we were young at looking like we were rich when we weren't. We just stacked it away, stacked it away, stacked it away. You see my houses, my cars, all of them were paid for. My jet paid for. All of them paid for.

• 11:40Andy Frisella?

  I'm trying to get on that level, that jet level.

• 11:42Ed Mylett?

  You're on that level. You're on that level. So, you got the business. It finally turns around, but during that time, I just want people to hear the backstory too. So, during that time, you and I were just talking too. You have a real life, like, we both have real lives. So, stuff happened, right? And you struggled with different things too, but tell them a little bit about, so you're a young dude, you got this business, you're working multiple jobs. You're living at your place of business, right? And probably everyone in your family thinks you're out of your mind.

• 12:08Andy Frisella?

  Oh dude, yeah. Trust me. My dad was the only person in my life that has never told me. Not, not, not the only person who believed in me. He's the only person that never told me I was wrong, like, for doing it.

• 12:21Ed Mylett?

  That's crazy.

• 12:22Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, and, and people, and that's why I don't have a lot of sympathy for people when they're like, "Oh, my so-and-so is telling me this and that." I said, "Look dude..." Nobody's gonna believe in you until you've done something.

• 12:32Ed Mylett?

  That's right.

• 12:32Andy Frisella?

  Have you done anything to make people believe in you?

• 12:35Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 12:35Andy Frisella?

  You know, you don't just get people to believe in you, you gotta do shit.

• 12:37Ed Mylett?

  Right, right.

• 12:39Andy Frisella?

  And, you know, that's the way it is. And, and my dad, my dad had done that, so he knew that it could be done.

• 12:45Ed Mylett?

  He knew the grind. And, uh... But 10 years is a long grind, you know what I mean?

• 12:48Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 12:48Ed Mylett?

  It's totally worth it.

• 12:49Andy Frisella?

  Right.

• 12:50Ed Mylett?

  But like, what do you have? Like, I always say this all the time, is your will to win for sale, right? Like, most people can be bought, like enough failure, they'll buy their dream out. They'll buy them out, they'll quit. You, you, you couldn't have been bought all those years. And you had no money being made.

• 13:02Andy Frisella?

  No, and I still couldn't. I mean, I've had, I've had nine-figure buyout offers from our companies, three of them.

• 13:06Ed Mylett?

  Really?

• 13:07Andy Frisella?

  And I won't do it, because I, I know what we can do. And now, like I said before, my purpose has changed. My purpose isn't now, you know, let's buy all this cool shit and be a baller, like it used to be when I was younger.

• 13:17Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 13:18Andy Frisella?

  Now it's, I want my guys, I want my team, I want my people to succeed.

• 13:21Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 13:21Andy Frisella?

  And I know what we can create on the, on the back end. And so I don't want to sell that out.

• 13:26Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, we both want you to stack a bunch of money away.

• 13:28Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 13:28Ed Mylett?

  We both want you to have great stuff like this and live all that. But we both are just literally talking off camera, saying what endures is when you shift from that stuff to wanting to serve other people, because that, that like never burns out.

• 13:38Andy Frisella?

  And you know what's funny about that too, is I've, I've found that when you switch your focus to other people, your income goes up anyway.

• 13:43Ed Mylett?

  Big time.

• 13:44Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 13:44Ed Mylett?

  Right. Obviously it takes some pressure off you, oddly, right? It's like, I, I don't know how to explain it, it takes pressure off you. Go back a little bit in the beginning, just want to talk about this, because we were talking about it. I didn't even notice it, but you pointed your face to me and said, hey, I've had stuff happen, man, like, not all this was just business grind. Because a lot of you that are watching this too, your business isn't where you'd like it to be maybe, or your life isn't. Like, stuff happens outside of business that can distract us too, right? There's, there's issues with your family, there's health, there's, you know, all kinds of stuff that happens outside your business too. So, tell them, how'd you get these scars? What happened?

• 14:13Andy Frisella?

  Uh, so, when I was in college, like we said, we had to work other jobs while we, and we were also going to school, by the way, I did all this. But, uh, I was walking home from one of my jobs, and I was walking home with a girl that, that, uh, that I was good friends with, and, uh...

• 14:32Andy Frisella?

  I ended up getting stabbed. The long story, the short story of it. I got an altercation. This dude, she was, uh, she was Mexican and this guy was calling her some racial slurs and I'm a young testosterone filled dude, you know, I'm not going to deal with that. It's not my personality to deal with that kind of shit anyway. You know, I'm an athlete like you and you know how athletes are like dude, we're gonna, it's gonna get physical. Yeah. And uh, we got in an argument and I turned my back and when I turned my back, he stabbed me and he stabbed me here and he stabbed me here, here and in my back and I had 160 stitches in my face. Uh, still no feeling in this side of my face at all. Uh, um, the last thing I remember on the way to the hospital was, uh, the, the EMT on the radio saying,

• 15:17Andy Frisella?

  "I don't know how to stop the bleeding." And I'm thinking in my head, I'm like, "All right, I'm gonna die for sure." Because like, it was like what you see in the movie, like blood was squirting out like, and, um, yeah. So, so basically, uh, yeah. So, so that was like, that was the easy part of it. The hard part of it was what happened after that. Uh, my face was very swollen. It was very deformed. Uh, it looks really good now because it's been 15 years since it happened. Um, but I worked retail and I had people coming in to the retail store every day and they, and they would do one of two things. They would either look at the floor when they talked to me because they didn't want to stare at my face, or they would say, "Dude, what happened to your fucking face?" And I'm like, I'm like,

• 15:58Andy Frisella?

  uh, you know, I'm getting this all the time and really honestly, I would have people, rather people say that to me than look at the floor. Like, you know how like, you know, when you see someone who's got a handicap or they have a disability, our tendency is to not want to stare. So we overcompensate by looking away. Don't do that because it makes people feel really shitty. Okay. And I know that from experience. And, um, but anyway, I went through very bad depression, you know, my face was messed up. I went, I was a young man, you know, I thought my life was over. I thought my business wasn't succeeding. Uh, I started thinking about like, you know, no woman's gonna ever want to date me, you know, my life is over type of stuff. And, um, you know, I built it into this big deal.

• 16:37Andy Frisella?

  I became very depressed and, uh, to a level of suicidal on a regular basis. Uh, and, and it, and I actually, uh, was able to come out of that in, in, in about 10 minutes' time. I was walking through a grocery store and I was pushing my cart down the aisle and there was, I came to the end of the aisle and I hit another cart and I looked over at the person who ran in the cart and I looked at him and I couldn't tell if it was a man or a woman because they were so badly burned, like their hands, their face, completely unrecognizable of a man or a woman. And I looked up and it was a woman by the way and she looked at me and she looked right at my face and she goes,

• 17:22Andy Frisella?

  "Man, what the fuck happened to your face?" And dude, I like start dying laughing like, because she knows what I've been through and I know what she's been through. And it turns out what happened was she had been in a plane crash and her whole family had been killed in a plane crash and she was the only person to survive. And we sat there and we talked for like 10, 15 minutes, you know, about what had happened to her and what had happened to me and we had a good laugh about it. We like laughed at other people like how they were so dumb for like looking at the floor, like all the stuff we just talked about. Yeah. And it changed my perspective immediately. I went from Wow. feeling bad, I went from being depressed, I went from having all these struggles to saying, "You know what? This is not bad. Like this is not even, this is, this is, this is a good thing."

• 18:06Andy Frisella?

  And so I chose, Wow. I chose to start seeing it as something that would, would, would eventually teach me something. And it turns out, it ended up being really good for business because back then when Chris and I would go to trade shows, nobody knew who we were, alright? Okay. After I got stabbed and my face was swollen, I had scars all over it, I would talk to people and they would remember me. Oh my god. Yeah, so, so I would go to these trade shows and people would be like, they'd be like, "Oh hey, you know, those guys from supplement superstore?" And they'd be like, "No, we don't know those." "No, no, you know Andy, they do with the scars on his face." No way. Yeah, and so what happened was people started remembering us because of it. Yeah, now they know Andy the multimillionaire, but then it was Andy that do with the scars on his face.

• 18:48Andy Frisella?

  But you know what? When you try so hard to stand out and it's important in business to stand out and be memorable, Yeah. I was blessed with an opportunity to make me naturally memorable. Wow. And so it ended up serving me and that's how I see it now. I see, I actually see it as one of the best things that ever happened to me.

• 19:03Ed Mylett?

  Believe that too, like, by the way, that's probably my favorite story I've ever had on the show. Right there, it's probably my favorite story, and let me tell you the reason why. First off, it's not the events that happened to us, it's the meaning we attach to the events, right? Because events happen to everybody, and so eventually what you did, eventually, is you attached a new meaning to the event, it served you, it happened for you, not to you.

• 19:21Andy Frisella?

  Yes, and it took that, it took that interaction, and I believe God put that interaction in play, I mean, there's no, that was not a coincidence.

• 19:28Ed Mylett?

  No way, no way.

• 19:29Andy Frisella?

  Dude.

• 19:29Ed Mylett?

  Of all the people walking in the world, your cart bumps into someone that's...

• 19:32Andy Frisella?

  No, that saved me, man, and uh, and, and dude, I uh, you know, you, we have, you and I, we have literally millions of conversations, right? Over the course of your career, you've had a million conversations with a million different people. I can definitively say that that conversation was the most impactful conversation. And it was a random, you know, chance encounter, and it was the most powerful conversation that I've ever had in my life. Just because it made me understand that A, things could be way worse.

• 20:04Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 20:04Andy Frisella?

  Okay, and B, no matter how bad things are, there's always good that can come of them, and...

• 20:11Ed Mylett?

  Amen, I believe that totally.

• 20:12Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, totally dude, and like people, like when I say that, I always get a lot of pushback, they'll be like, "Well, what about these kids that die from cancer?" Well, yeah, that's terrible, and I agree, there's not much good that comes from that. But the one thing that is good that comes from those kind of situations is that we can choose to appreciate our own mortality, and, and, and learn how to appreciate the people in our lives while we have them. Because I feel like so many people, they live for this thing that doesn't exist, because we're ambitious, right? We're always want more, we're always want to do more, we always want to accomplish more. And so for that reason, and I know you've probably had this situation before, you start neglecting the now for this, later, right?

• 20:50Ed Mylett?

  All the time, I struggle with that now, I still do it, it's one of the things, I'm so ambitious, I'm so driven, it's like, hey, be present, right now.

• 20:57Andy Frisella?

  Yes, but, but I promise, and I think you'll agree with me, that...

• 21:03Andy Frisella?

  Being able to be ambitious and also be present is extremely important because if you're always ambitious and you're not like you can't you guys who are like young right now and you're not where you want to be and you think you know oh I want to be a millionaire my life I'll whenever I make this much money I'll be this you won't that's not that's not what's going to define you what's going to define you is the relationships that you're having now and appreciating those and those will help build you into that but you know you know how people like do you used to think before you had any money or you had any success you probably thought man once once I get here it'll be different once I get here it'll be this

• 21:38Ed Mylett?

  that was my constant conversation once I get there then I'll relax enjoy it once I get there then I'll have fun and then I'm like there was never this place it was never and that's the difference you and I were talking earlier I'm really enjoying this by the way it's the difference for me of being successful and being fulfilled right you can have all this success and not be fulfilled but if you can be present now you can be fulfilled and here's the one thing I'll tell you if you can be happy where you are now you're really going to be happy once these other things come but if you're not happy now

• 22:05Andy Frisella?

  it's only gonna it's gonna accelerate the problems

• 22:07Ed Mylett?

  it does we have friends that we see that's like they're more unhappy they're more stressed they're more depressed it's funny that we're talking about this because people that knew you and I were meeting right they're like oh it's it's the clash of the alpha males you know and then and then you and I meet each other and it's interesting because I think when you see someone who's built a great life or like in your case like they built a big dude strong dude lots of confidence we're giving people advice I think they go these are super confident people right and the truth is I think when you see someone like us that way I think when you look at us now you know these are people that had to come from a further place like we're both introverted we're both shy we both probably have I bet you that both of us have a more natural dose of insecurity than a normal person

• 22:49Andy Frisella?

  there's no question that's why we're so driven

• 22:51Ed Mylett?

  that's why we're driven I had to figure out and I want those of you that are here I had to figure out young is like okay I know how insecure I am not at all

• 22:56Andy Frisella?

  so people here insecure and they automatically attach like they they take it as a dig because they've heard it like in dating oh you're you're jealous because you're insecure well yeah maybe but I'm also driven and I'm also wanting to win and I also have something to prove and that's a great thing that's another example of Taking something that would normally be a negative and turning it's alchemy, right? It's taking something and turning it into something that is valuable.

• 23:20Ed Mylett?

  I agree.

• 23:20Andy Frisella?

  And, and you know, being insecure and I say this a lot on my podcast. Because people don't like to talk about it because like a lot of people in our position who are out there. Making content for people, their egos are too big to admit it.

• 23:31Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 23:31Andy Frisella?

  I'm not dude, I tell you right now, I got a ton of shit to prove.

• 23:34Ed Mylett?

  Me too.

• 23:34Andy Frisella?

  And I'm gonna fucking prove it.

• 23:35Ed Mylett?

  Me too.

• 23:36Andy Frisella?

  You know, and if that's how you feel, you've got all your family, you've got all your friends, you've got, and they're making, and they're telling you can't do it, you can't do this. And you want to prove them wrong, good.

• 23:44Ed Mylett?

  That's right, that is good.

• 23:45Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, that's good, that's good.

• 23:46Ed Mylett?

  Don't you think my insecurity is because I'm so wanting to be this other version of me, the best version of me, and I compare it to who I am now, that makes me insecure? Like, I don't want to be comfortable with me. I don't want to think I've got it all figured out. Of course.

• 23:57Andy Frisella?

  What's, what's good about comfort? We were just talking about this over here. You know, you, you accomplish this, this, this, you, you get the houses, you get the jet, you get the cars, you get the life, you get the company. And then what?

• 24:07Ed Mylett?

  And then what?

• 24:08Andy Frisella?

  And, and so.

• 24:09Ed Mylett?

  And what have you and I both determined the then what is?

• 24:11Andy Frisella?

  To serve other people.

• 24:12Ed Mylett?

  You got it.

• 24:12Andy Frisella?

  Right. And that's, people are always like, and I'm sure they're asking you, they're like, Ed, why are you doing all this? Why are you making this content? You're a multimillionaire, you've got all these things. You don't have to do that. Because it's a call, it's a calling, like people say in faith, right Vaughn? In faith, alright? It's a calling. Like, I have a, I have, I feel an obligation. To, to, so I grew up with an extremely intelligent, driven, amazing father. And like dude.

• 24:41Ed Mylett?

  Me too.

• 24:41Andy Frisella?

  And if people would have seen how he raised me, they would have said that he was probably abusive because dude, he was hard, man. But here's the deal. I want people to, my dad prepared me for the reality. And I want people to be prepared too, because I feel like. The younger generation, a lot of the people watching right now are not taught the truth. They're taught that everybody wins, everybody's special, everybody, you know, is probably going to end up being a multimillionaire. Everybody loves you. And that's not, that's not the truth.

• 25:12Ed Mylett?

  It's the furthest thing from the truth.

• 25:14Andy Frisella?

  So they get taught this thing, they get taught this thing, I mean, they only keep score now in, in kids' games. They get taught this thing up until they're 20 years old and then they're kicked out in the real world. And then what happens? The real world stomps them.

• 25:25Ed Mylett?

  More and more, I think that's why this generation's having a harder time. There's more and more people that want to be entrepreneurs, that want to be successful, that see it more than ever.

• 25:32Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 25:32Ed Mylett?

  But their wiring needs to change.

• 25:34Andy Frisella?

  Yes.

• 25:34Ed Mylett?

  You need to be a little harder, a little tougher, a little more in love with the grind, a little bit harder working on yourself. And also, you've got to work like it's going to happen now, but you've got to be patient as hell. Like it took you 10 years, right? I didn't really make any real money, save any real money for over a decade either, right?

• 25:49Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 25:50Ed Mylett?

  By the way, on that, so it just reminded me of something. You see this big old buff stud dude here, but you've written a couple, I just want to throw this out there. You've written a couple of children's books. And what we were just talking about, I was reading, it's Otis and Charlie Play to Win, right? Part of that book is it's about competing and it's teaching kids that not everybody gets a trophy, right? Isn't that part of that book? So those of you that have young kids, you should get them involved with some of the books this kid's written.

• 26:15Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, that's why we, that's why we wrote the books. We wrote, I wrote them with Vaughn, who's my co-host on the podcast. And he, we, our purpose of what we do, and, and while we do monetize some things.

• 26:29Ed Mylett?

  Sure.

• 26:29Andy Frisella?

  Our purpose of doing this was not to, oh, let's just make more money. Our purpose of doing this was to help reverse the, what is being taught to this generation. When you and I grew up, we were both athletes.

• 26:42Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 26:42Andy Frisella?

  We were taught to fucking win.

• 26:43Ed Mylett?

  Absolutely.

• 26:44Andy Frisella?

  And I don't even know if I can curse on this show.

• 26:45Ed Mylett?

  You can curse on this show.

• 26:46Andy Frisella?

  Okay. But we were taught to win. We were taught to, to go out, do our best and win and not feel bad about it. Be a good sport.

• 26:54Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 26:54Andy Frisella?

  But don't feel bad about it. Now these kids are taught that winning is wrong and it's not okay.

• 26:59Ed Mylett?

  Unreal.

• 26:59Andy Frisella?

  And if you win, you should feel bad. Like that's not, you could, you could paint the ideal picture all you want, but that's not reality.

• 27:07Ed Mylett?

  That's right.

• 27:07Andy Frisella?

  And my goal with the books, and this is why I haven't written an adult book. All my goal is to make an impact. And I feel like if we're going to make an impact, we've got to start with the youngest generation.

• 27:17Ed Mylett?

  I love it, brother.

• 27:18Andy Frisella?

  You know, and.

• 27:19Ed Mylett?

  How do they get the books? They go to Amazon?

• 27:20Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, just Amazon. It's Otis and Charlie's.

• 27:22Ed Mylett?

  We were both talking about, it just occurred to me when you said, it's like we're talking about all this rewiring, you know, people in their twenties and thirties and forties and fifties need to go through. I think it's awesome that you're starting to grab them when they're two, three, four, five, six, seven years old.

• 27:32Andy Frisella?

  A lot, well, and a lot of parents would, would DM me and they'd say, man, I wish I could teach my kids all this stuff. They, they want their kids to know this stuff, but they don't know how to teach them.

• 27:42Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 27:42Andy Frisella?

  So that was the book. The book is a tool for parents.

• 27:45Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 27:45Andy Frisella?

  That want to teach their kids the reality, but don't know exactly how. They realize something is off.

• 27:51Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 27:52Andy Frisella?

  With what they've been taught and it's not the actual truth. I mean, what's, what are we, what are we taught? We're taught this. Go to school, get a degree, get a job.

• 27:59Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 27:59Andy Frisella?

  And, you know, and eventually you'll have enough money to retire, which you won't, by the way.

• 28:03Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 28:04Andy Frisella?

  And, you know, they don't tell you that you're going to be in debt your whole life.

• 28:08Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 28:08Andy Frisella?

  And they don't, the real truth is this. Go to school, get a degree, get a job, get yourself in debt. So that you're required to work for somebody.

• 28:16Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 28:17Andy Frisella?

  Your whole life.

• 28:17Ed Mylett?

  That's right.

• 28:18Andy Frisella?

  You have to work.

• 28:18Ed Mylett?

  They ought to tell you the first day of college.

• 28:19Andy Frisella?

  It's a human resource that, that the system is designed to squeeze the juice out of.

• 28:23Ed Mylett?

  That's exactly, and by the way, that's why, one of my goals is that we start to get more entrepreneurship in colleges, right?

• 28:28Andy Frisella?

  Yes.

• 28:28Ed Mylett?

  If they're going to have to go, because the first day of college, they ought to go, hey, look, here's what your life is likely to be. You're going to come out here with a couple hundred grand in debt. You're going to end up at 50 years old. You're not going to have 50,000 bucks saved. You're going to be in debt and divorced at least once.

• 28:39Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 28:39Ed Mylett?

  That's literally the program you're on, right?

• 28:41Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 28:41Ed Mylett?

  It's like someone ought to tell you that upfront. So when you sign up for, I'd rather sign up for the program where I go through four, five, 10 years of struggle as an entrepreneur. And on the other side, I'm in my man cave like this and helping other people, right? That's the program I want to be on.

• 28:53Andy Frisella?

  Well, even if you, even if you, even if you work inside of a company, the values of being an entrepreneur.

• 28:59Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 28:59Andy Frisella?

  Still will help you become successful and valuable.

• 29:02Ed Mylett?

  A hundred percent.

• 29:02Andy Frisella?

  Because there's a lot of people out there watching that might not ever own their own company.

• 29:05Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 29:06Andy Frisella?

  But maybe they work inside of a company that has a nice upside.

• 29:09Ed Mylett?

  You got it. There's some equity in there, something you could do.

• 29:11Andy Frisella?

  So, so those people still, if they learn the skills of entrepreneurship, they can become valuable within a system.

• 29:20Ed Mylett?

  A hundred percent.

• 29:20Andy Frisella?

  You know what I mean?

• 29:21Ed Mylett?

  And by the way, eventually have your eye on starting your own deal.

• 29:23Andy Frisella?

  Exactly.

• 29:23Ed Mylett?

  Right? If there's, my advice, people say, do I have to start a business? No, but you better be somewhere where there's equity or ownership for you eventually.

• 29:30Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 29:30Ed Mylett?

  And there's no play for that. I don't have any wealthy friends who get a W2 for 50 years of their life. Eventually you got to get a 1099. Eventually you got to be able to sell something, make something or earn something. That's at least how I feel.

• 29:41Andy Frisella?

  No, I agree. I agree. I think that, you know, it's a, there's, there, I, I do believe and. Some people don't believe this, but I do believe that entrepreneurship is somewhat a skill. I feel like

• 29:53Ed Mylett?

  So do I.

• 29:53Andy Frisella?

  I feel like certain people have it.

• 29:55Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 29:55Andy Frisella?

  And not everybody can have it.

• 29:57Ed Mylett?

  Okay.

• 29:57Andy Frisella?

  Now, that makes people upset when I say that, because I always get bad emails. They say, "Oh, well, I could be an entrepreneur." Maybe you can.

• 30:03Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 30:03Andy Frisella?

  But, like, my friend Gary, Gary Vaynerchuk, he puts it this way. Everybody can go play basketball.

• 30:10Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 30:11Andy Frisella?

  But not everybody's going to be LeBron James.

• 30:12Ed Mylett?

  I agree with that.

• 30:13Andy Frisella?

  And I do too. I agree with that too.

• 30:16Ed Mylett?

  Because I think it's the, I don't think it's a, in my mind...

• 30:18Andy Frisella?

  So what do you say to people who, who may not be entrepreneurs, but have, they, they work within a company that has opportunity?

• 30:26Ed Mylett?

  I think if they're, that's what I'm saying. I think as long as you work within a company where there's a chance for you to have some equity, some ownership, something that's your own, your own space, that, that doesn't require that, right? Another part of it is too, is like, you have to be honest with yourself. I don't think it's a capacity issue. I think it's a threshold of pain issue, a desire issue, a work ethic issue, and not everybody is wired for that because they're passionate about other things.

• 30:47Andy Frisella?

  Right.

• 30:48Ed Mylett?

  They're more passionate about, you know, being charitable. They're more passionate about, you know, doing stuff with kids. There may be just things you do that your passion isn't being an entrepreneur. I think, I think if your passion's to be an entrepreneur, like, you and I had this calling.

• 31:00Andy Frisella?

  Oh, yeah. Dude, like, I was like, I sold, I sold baseball cards, I sold snow cones, I sold light bulbs door to door. Dude, I, I mean...

• 31:08Ed Mylett?

  And you're an athlete, like, you always wanted to be, here's what I just really think. I think, I just always wanted to be free.

• 31:13Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 31:14Ed Mylett?

  I, I always wanted to, me and you and I were just talking, we literally cut each other off, we're like, "It's not about the money, it's about this." I want it, and we said at the same time, "Win."

• 31:20Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 31:20Ed Mylett?

  We literally said the same thing. There's this edge, this compete, this desire level, right? And like, if you feel that, I think you could be an entrepreneur. If you want to go through heat, time, pain, stress, everything.

• 31:30Andy Frisella?

  I think you have to, I don't think you even have to endure it. I think you have to fucking want it.

• 31:34Ed Mylett?

  I think you have to want it.

• 31:34Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, like, like, I want...

• 31:38Ed Mylett?

  This is good.

• 31:38Andy Frisella?

  Look, people don't get, people, people think this is wrong, but it's not wrong, it's right. I want to wipe the fucking earth of my competition.

• 31:48Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 31:48Andy Frisella?

  I want their houses to burn down. I want them to do zero sales. I want to win.

• 31:57Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 31:58Andy Frisella?

  And not just win, but dominate. And when I say that, do I literally want their houses to burn down? Of course not.

• 32:03Ed Mylett?

  Right.

• 32:04Andy Frisella?

  But that's a metaphor for how bad I want to win.

• 32:06Ed Mylett?

  You want to dominate.

• 32:07Andy Frisella?

  Yes.

• 32:07Ed Mylett?

  You don't want to just win, you want to dominate.

• 32:09Andy Frisella?

  And if you don't have that killer instinct in you, to where like when somebody competes with you, it makes you angry and you're like, like I get offended, like how dare you think you're going to compete with me?

• 32:19Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, I can feel it.

• 32:19Andy Frisella?

  You get what I'm saying?

• 32:20Ed Mylett?

  Yes, you just switched again.

• 32:21Andy Frisella?

  Yeah.

• 32:22Ed Mylett?

  You're scaring me.

• 32:23Andy Frisella?

  Yeah, well, no.

• 32:24Ed Mylett?

  Just kidding.

• 32:25Andy Frisella?

  I think, I think I'm one of the, I think you feel that and I think other people feel that.

• 32:29Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 32:29Andy Frisella?

  But I don't think they say it. And so like, for that reason, when I say it, it sounds crazy.

• 32:33Ed Mylett?

  It doesn't sound crazy. It doesn't sound crazy to someone like me, but I want to say one thing about it. I think you have this capacity, and I'm not just bragging on you here. I think you have this capacity, which is, I don't know anybody else in this space that does this. You have this way of saying, because I have also one, right? Like one rare thing about both of us is we, that are in this space, like we both have real businesses, are really wealthy and have really done the stuff we're telling you.

• 32:54Andy Frisella?

  And we're still doing it.

• 32:55Ed Mylett?

  And we're still doing it, right? Like we're not making this up as we go along.

• 32:57Andy Frisella?

  This isn't a, this isn't a make money quick scheme for us.

• 33:00Ed Mylett?

  No, no, no, no. This is a, this is a, this is our lifestyle.

• 33:03Andy Frisella?

  It's not theory.

• 33:04Ed Mylett?

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• 33:47Ed Mylett?

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• 35:05Speaker 03

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• 35:09Ed Mylett?

  Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Now on to our next guest. And this gentleman to my left, I've been working on getting on my program for some time. So I know all of you certainly recognize his face and more and more of you in the social media community are beginning to recognize his message. And so this is Dean Graziosi. Dean is a real estate guru, was the king of the infomercial for a very long time and still is best selling author. And I call him kind of a peak performance expert, and that's why I wanted you here today. So thank you for being here, brother.

• 35:44Dean Graziosi?

  Good to be here, man. I love what you're doing too, seriously.

• 35:46Ed Mylett?

  Thank you.

• 35:46Dean Graziosi?

  You're making an impact.

• 35:47Ed Mylett?

  Earlier you described collision shop, real estate, infomercial. You had these different things going on. Would you recommend that to an entrepreneur who's listening to this now? Or do you believe they should be immersed in? One area, or do you think it doesn't matter?

• 35:59Dean Graziosi?

  No, I think, I think, I think we live in a shallow world, I think. I think shallow, meaning especially a new generation who grew up going through a stream, right? So, what used to be hours went to minutes and now it's seconds, right? If something doesn't catch you in a second. And I feel like a lot of people want that next level, which is great, everybody should. But we dabble in each one and we don't see enough spark, excitement, or light. So we back out and go to the next one. It's like, it's like they're looking for the magic money machine and they're in one car and they're like, "This car might work, oh, that car looks good." And then we jump out in the next one and we jump out in the next one. So I would say, even though, you know, I'm 50 this year, so I've had like different lives. I went deep on all them. My collision shop was the best in town.

• 36:43Dean Graziosi?

  That's why I landed an Enterprise and Hertz rental car. And so I'm gonna give it, you mind if I give three lessons?

• 36:50Ed Mylett?

  Give it, please.

• 36:50Dean Graziosi?

  Maybe two or three, I just said three, but it's two or three I'm thinking in my head. One is, no matter what you're doing, even if you hate it, realize it's temporary and be amazing at it. I, I sat down with Jean-Paul DiGiorgio, who started Tequila Patron and Sassoon. And he said he hated-

• 37:09Ed Mylett?

  His name's come to me a couple of times this week.

• 37:10Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah, he said he hated, he hated when he had a janitorial job when he was a kid. But he said, "Man, it was my job, I cleaned every-" I used to, the boss came to and said, "Man, I lifted up the desk, you cleaned under the desk." He's like, "The guy thought I loved the job, I hated it, I just did it the best." And I realized, one of my biggest, my first big real, my first real estate deal did over a million bucks. True story, I was fixing a guy's car and I'm in the collision shop. I'm gonna be completely transparent, I hated the collision shop. I ended up being the only painter because I got good at it. So every night when everybody left, I'd paint for three hours, the ventilation wasn't good, I'd have headaches. I hated every inch of it, but you'd never know. If you came in, you'd be like, "That guy loves being in the collision shop." I knew it was temporary.

• 37:52Dean Graziosi?

  Because, don't think, "I'm just gonna schlub through this job and then my, my magic will come." You'll be screwed, you'll stay there because how you do one thing is how you do everything. So, so I'm literally in the collision shop, I have this guy, he comes down, he's like, "My god, my car looks great, thank you so much." We get talking, come kind of friends really quick and he says, "What are you up to?" I'm like, "Well, I'm doing this, but I'm working on my day job, my night job is real estate." "I'm gonna be, I'm gonna take real estate to a whole nother level." He's like, "What do you got going on?" At that time, I was working on a deal. For $180,000 to buy an old vineyard. And I didn't have the money. I scraped up every credit card I had. I came up with like 45 grand. The seller agreed to sell it to me for half down and half in two years. I needed 45 grand. I tell this guy the story. I said, "But I'm gonna get it."

• 38:36Dean Graziosi?

  He goes, "Yeah, you're gonna get it, because I'm going home to get it for you." Oh my gosh. Now, what if I was like, "Oh, I hate collision. Yeah, here's your keys." Yeah. I made a million dollars on that deal, the first one ever, documented. I sold that property. I killed it on that property. Killed it. What a great story. All the neighbors didn't want me to build on the property. And I was fighting them. And then I realized, wow, what if I sell it to them? So I sold them all a piece around. And I crushed it. I killed it. So that's the first thing. So no matter what you're doing, find a way to be enthusiastic, knowing that maybe the universe, God, whatever you believe in, is putting you through your trial run to deserve that. And then the next thing, I love this phrase I've been saying for about six months, "success tax." Yeah, I heard you say it earlier. You know what I love about that? Somebody told to me, I didn't make it up, but I found my own version of it.

• 39:20Dean Graziosi?

  It's like, we all want to make more money. We all want to feel significance, abundance, freedom. But most people aren't willing to pay it. So a great analogy I've been using is if you're in a band and you play the guitar and you write songs. It would be amazing to be at Madison Square Garden. 50,000 people singing your song. You're out in the front of the stage. I mean, could anything be more euphoric, right? But, everybody would want that. But who's willing to play the guitar when no one's watching until your hands hurt? Who's willing to pack up an old shitty van that barely runs and drive to dive bar after dive bar playing where people are booing you? Most people aren't willing to put in the success tax to pay. And I said, "What if you just visualized, whether you believe in God, whatever you believe in, that there's an auditor, a success auditor?"

• 40:03Dean Graziosi?

  And they go, "Okay, Ed. Ed started with shit, lives in a ghetto. Okay, but he's still positive every day. Wow, he's still respectful. Wow, he tried that first business and his first partner screwed him over, took all the money and left. Wow, he still got up the next day, still inspiring other people, still not a jerk." Check. Check. What if you gotta check off 10 boxes before you get to the other side? Because once you get to the other side, it opens up like Ed's amazing backyard. There's not many people playing at that level. Like, everybody thinks it's so competitive up here. It's not. Because you guys are all fighting over- crumbs and I don't mean that disrespectfully but all I'm saying is when you said like put in the success tax and know you're gonna fail know it's gonna go sideways but it's worth it and and those two things combined love what you do and put in the success tax and then all of a sudden because I've I've been framing it

• 40:49Dean Graziosi?

  more than ever the success that when shit goes sideways I'm like man I just checked another box I just checked another box and all of a sudden I found a way to be enthusiastic

• 40:56Ed Mylett?

  that is a couple of my favorite things I've ever heard honestly that's one of my couple of things that for me and for me even because I'm at that place too you know like

• 41:05Dean Graziosi?

  what's next

• 41:05Ed Mylett?

  you know and I'm checking some boxes right now I'm checking some boxes man that's so so good um you talk a little bit about there's this great story you have this is so good for people by the way thank you for being so generous

• 41:18Dean Graziosi?

  my pleasure my pleasure

• 41:19Ed Mylett?

  part of that success tax though is you said something earlier about playing at this high level and I've heard you say this and I just I I didn't learn this till too late not too late I learned it later in life and that is that my max out strategy but you might as well play big because you say something so powerful about this elaborate on this the stress level is kind of the same when you're playing for something small or if you're going for something big people think man I don't want to go for the big old thing because the stress it's actually the same stress so would you elaborate on that I love how you say it

• 41:48Dean Graziosi?

  it's like if you want more success get bigger problems

• 41:51Ed Mylett?

  it's so true

• 41:51Dean Graziosi?

  as simple as that sounds like oh Dean that was so enlightening no it is because here's this is simple the lowest form like I just started realizing I want bigger problems because I remember the stress of my first real estate deal where I made probably five grand right worked my ass off was stressing worried that the town didn't want to give me a permit and then the seller was falling through and I was running out of money it was it was so stressful and then I remember you know a couple of months ago I signed a eighteen million dollar deal and there was the same exact amount of stress it doesn't matter and and again I I say that I I said I judge myself I don't ever want to come across pretentious or saying

• 42:30Dean Graziosi?

  oh look at you with my eighteen million dollar deal I don't mean that I just want you to know that the stress you feel to pay your bills or get ahead or it's the same stress whether you're making ten a hundred ten million or a hundred million a year it feels the same so if it feels the same then why not avoid lower end problems so you can spend time solving bigger ones I mean I'm in a phase in my life I'm not shitting you if I order Medium rare steak at a restaurant and they bring me well-done chicken. I just eat it.

• 42:59Ed Mylett?

  So do I.

• 43:00Dean Graziosi?

  Who gives a shit?

• 43:00Ed Mylett?

  So do I. I'm the same way.

• 43:02Dean Graziosi?

  Somebody cuts me off in traffic and then flips me off. I'm like, wow, they need bigger problems. Traffic is bugging you that much, you'll never be successful. So know that. If you're annoyed because a friend doesn't ask you to go to the mall or someone cuts you off in traffic or you think a friend offended you or you think a coworker's being a little rude, then you're screwed because you're worrying about the wrong things. Spend that energy on solving big problems and you accomplish big things.

• 43:26Ed Mylett?

  This is massively valuable for people to hear because it's like if someone listening right now is running a gym. You know, the same stress level will be when you have 20 of them. If you can scale it, you should. If you're buying two-unit buildings, you should be doing that. But if you can buy 20s, the stress level's gonna be the same. This is an absolute fact. I've learned it in business. My stress level when I had 10 agents in my agency compared to having 30,000 or 40,000 is the same. It's just stress. It's better to be going bigger and you have to sell a big enough dream in your business that the dreams of everybody associated with you can fit inside the one you're selling. You entrepreneurs, you fathers, you mothers, sell a big dream so that everyone's dreams associated, vendors, clients, recruits, agents, employees, can fit inside that sucker. And when you're talking about these big problems, tell them the story.

• 44:11Ed Mylett?

  This is so profound. I want you to illustrate this point one more time. Tell them the story about you're paying the guy to cut your grass and your dad sees you.

• 44:19Dean Graziosi?

  Wow, that's funny. You did do your research. Cool stuff, man. So I was, my first apartment house, it was an old rundown mansion.

• 44:26Ed Mylett?

  Massive lesson here, everybody.

• 44:28Dean Graziosi?

  It was an old rundown apartment, a mansion, like, I mean, beat up, old big house. And I ended up getting the house for no money down and I converted it into 10 apartments. So what was cool is I fixed one up. I was living in it while I fixed it. And then as soon as it was done, I'd rent it and I'd move in one not done. But I got through all 10 of them. So now I have this 10-unit apartment house. It's doing great for me. I'm 19, 20 years old. You know, it's bringing me in 5 grand a month net-net, which was a gazillion dollars. Because now I'm living for free. And this is, and plus it's building value. So I got no money down, refinanced it, pulled some cash out. I used that money to go into next one. Long story short, had a huge lawn.

• 45:09Dean Graziosi?

  So every Saturday, because my dad was born during the depression, my dad grew up with, "If you can do it yourself, you don't pay anybody." Right? So every Saturday, I'd spend five hours, I had a massive lawn, I'd mow, I have allergies, so my eyes are tearing, I'm weed whacking, shit hits your legs, and it's just... Yep. And then one day, I realized, wow, I'm mowing my lawn a whole day, I hired a kid down the street for 50 bucks to mow my lawn, and he's mowing the lawn, my dad pulls in. True story, zero exaggeration, I tell it to my dad all the time, he's like, "Sorry, I was wrong." Right. My dad pulls in, he goes, and this is how my dad talks to me, whether you think it true or not, he goes, "Mr. Big Shot, you finally went too far. You're so freaking big now, that you're gonna pay someone to mow your lawn when you can do it."

• 45:52Dean Graziosi?

  And he got so mad that he left, and he hit the gas, and it was gravel driveway, and he dented the shit out of the side of my car, it was just like, "Tum, tum, tum, tum, tum." And I'm like, "Ah," and he left, and maybe he gave me the finger when he was leaving or something like that. That's my dad, he's got an Italian hothead, right? And he left, and it was so profound, that I knew at that moment I was on to something. You knew. I really did. I'd love to say it was this epiphany, and the sky opened up, and I was like, "Wow, my dad still struggles." And what I realized, and this is what I want to share with you, is I realized an ROI on my time. At that time, I had 15 apartments, I had two houses being built, I had a collision shop and a used car dealership. If I went down to the used car dealership and sold one car, I probably netted about two grand a car back then, I sold lower-end cars.

• 46:34Dean Graziosi?

  So in that day, without mowing the lawn, if I sold one car, it cost me 50 to mow the lawn, I made two grand. Or if I drove around that day and found my next apartment house, could be tens of thousands of dollars. And it just hit me, it was so profound, that moment, that I'm gonna start equating things I do with an ROI. Yes. It's like, if I, and the great part is, if you keep noodling it, it doesn't matter if something costs you $500 an hour, if you're working to your unique ability, you can make 10 grand an hour, still pay someone to do it, and you just chip away like an onion, peel him back an onion, to stop doing the stuff that doesn't move the needle. And something I just always love saying is, because it really affected me when I was young, "Stop trying to get good at the things you suck at too." I just, I need to say that, because it's the biggest lie we've...

• 47:18Dean Graziosi?

  You've ever been told it dings our confidence. I still can't read. If I wrote you two sentences in an email, half the words would light up misspelled. And some of them are so bad that I tried three different times to spell it and the computer can't even, like if it could talk to me, be like idiot. Like what are you trying to say? I have no freaking clue what you're saying. And then I just put like good.

• 47:40Ed Mylett?

  I completely relate to that.

• 47:42Dean Graziosi?

  But what it does is, let me just ask you, watching or listening right now, if you're, if you work on something you suck at, does it make you feel empowered? Does it make you feel like you want to, like me trying to do accounting? Like could never do it. It's not my personality. So what I know about the most successful people on the planet, including you, Ed, you just got really great at a few things.

• 48:02Ed Mylett?

  Correct.

• 48:02Dean Graziosi?

  The things that light you up, the things that inspire you. And when that fire starts, you can't stop it. And eventually you'll pay someone to do the things you suck at. Maybe you can't afford that now, but just don't, don't let anybody give you a bill of goods on, on working on the things. Try to get better at what you're failing. No, just go get great at a few things.

• 48:18Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, I wish I could debate you on that, but I can't because I 100% agree. I just know that that's true. I'm not great at so many things, by the way, one of them being writing. There are five or six things I've gotten really pretty good at in my life, right? And I just work those skills over and over and over again. And I collaborate or surround myself with people who are good at the stuff I'm not good at. I can't shoot the stuff these guys are filming. I don't know how to edit the stuff they're doing. These guys are brilliant, right? It's not, it's not my area. And I, this is such great juice for people in every area. And also the other thing Dean recommends is make a list of the stuff you do suck at and make a list of the stuff that you are doing that you don't need to be doing. I'm so obsessed with that. There are some times I'm even reading emails. I'm like, I should not be the one even reading this email right now. Because this is stuff for my personal ROI. Okay, so a couple of the things I want to ask you about.

• 49:01Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah.

• 49:01Ed Mylett?

  Um, because it's just simple what you do, but I love the way you teach it. Because I'm massive on it in my book. But yours is special and unique. Everyone needs to find a routine that works for them.

• 49:11Dean Graziosi?

  Yep.

• 49:12Ed Mylett?

  And I like simple things. Sometimes people give me these like 19 steps, I'm like, you don't really do that.

• 49:17Dean Graziosi?

  No, they don't.

• 49:19Ed Mylett?

  You don't do these things. They sounded really good in your book, or was a hell of a speech, and everyone who knows you knows you don't do these things.

• 49:25Dean Graziosi?

  Oh my god.

• 49:26Ed Mylett?

  You've done each of them once of the 19.

• 49:29Dean Graziosi?

  It's so funny, I have three of my dear friends that are massive influencers that do that, and every time I'm like, you're so full of shit.

• 49:37Ed Mylett?

  No one does all that stuff.

• 49:38Dean Graziosi?

  I've hung out with you, I haven't seen you do any of those.

• 49:41Ed Mylett?

  That's so true, man.

• 49:41Dean Graziosi?

  You've got a pound of coffee.

• 49:45Ed Mylett?

  I just think it's the most hilarious thing.

• 49:48Dean Graziosi?

  That's awesome.

• 49:49Ed Mylett?

  It's so true, by the way. Your morning routine, in terms of gratitude, I could do, and it works. Mine's about five minutes longer than yours, but I love what you do, and I love how you talk about reducing it, so just share with them what you do.

• 50:02Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 50:03Ed Mylett?

  This is awesome. You guys are gonna love this.

• 50:04Dean Graziosi?

  And I fail on this sometimes, too. If I don't do it, I honestly screw it up. But it's a consistent thing, because I can do it in five to seven minutes. So, the thing is, I used to, which probably a lot of people listening, and this isn't revolutionary, and the one thing I want to say, thank you for saying, I try to make things simple, and the one thing I'd love to say is, there's probably not much I'm sharing today you haven't heard before. You've read it in books, you've heard it someplace, you've watched a video or a podcast, but what I'm gonna ask you to do for the first time is actually listen and apply it. And that's been my mission lately, is like, I know there's some of the things, success principles are the same since the beginning of time. But when is it time to stop being inspired, stop just watching Ed, and start just doing what Ed does?

• 50:47Dean Graziosi?

  Like, when is that time to stop looking for the next hit of a great podcast, the next hit of watching Tony, or Dean, or Ed, or Andy, or somebody, watching, feeling good, and then going back to the same routine? What if this was the time? What if this was the interview? What if this was the moment, you said, "I'm not just gonna listen, I'm gonna start to do"? And I didn't mean to get sidetracked on that, but it really, it's really different.

• 51:09Ed Mylett?

  No, it is, and that's why I like what you do in the morning, because like, when I heard it, I went, "That I can do."

• 51:13Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah, so, really quick, so... For me, if I wake up and look at my phone, it's like Russian roulette. A deal I'm working on, if it's not going through, I'll get pissed, it'll all get in my head. And for me, I just try to find ways to frame things in my life. For me, I kick ass during the day if I'm playing offense. If I'm playing defense, putting out fires, I don't move forward. I just, I manage stuff. I didn't move the needle. So I want to play offense every day. So I framed it in my head, this is my way for offense. So when I wake up, I do not look at my phone. If I do, it's Russian roulette, it could be shitty. So first thing, I don't look at my phone. Second thing, I just find something to be grateful for. But if you've ever done a gratitude journal and you know you're three months in, you're like, I got nothing left. They said my daughter 27 times, my son 42, like you run out of stuff. So for me, I just want to be grateful for the little things.

• 51:58Dean Graziosi?

  Like I wake up and the sheets feel good, I'm like, wow, the sheets feel good. Or 150,000 people die a day. You didn't die. I'm grateful just sitting here with you right now. The littlest thing, only so it frames your mind in a gratitude space. I'm not talking about a long meditation, I don't have time for that. Maybe you do, and that'd be great. But I just think of something in that moment to be grateful for. And then, in the next moment, I just think of one win from the day before. Because, listen, as entrepreneurs, if you're watching this, you want another level of life. You kick your own ass more than anybody could. You work a 16-hour day and you come home and you're like, I got nothing done today. You lie to yourself, you beat yourself up. So it's a moment to go, no, yesterday I closed that deal. Yesterday I got to meet Ed and I know he'll be a friend for life. Like, just one thing, that's it, seconds.

• 52:41Dean Graziosi?

  Gratitude, one thing was a win yesterday, then I think of one win for that day. What's one thing I want to accomplish? If I do that little tiny thing, it puts my mind in offense and I'm in a different space.

• 52:52Ed Mylett?

  Man, I want to second two things here, because this is so real and so good. Because, by the way, most of you lose control of your life in the first five minutes after you wake up. I talk about it in my book, and you begin to respond all day long. First thing is this, the hardest thing you will do, and the thing that will change your life almost with the greatest impact, is to not check your phone for the first 30 minutes you wake up in the morning. I'm telling you that it'll be-

• 53:13Dean Graziosi?

  Might be the biggest game changer.

• 53:14Ed Mylett?

  It is the biggest game changer for me. It was so difficult, because, so what I did is, I moved it away from where I sleep. But I'm just going to say to you all, you think that's not a big deal, I got to check it. I'm telling you, if you could go 30- If you could start by going 10 minutes to begin your day. Something where you do not check that sucker and react. And then what you say about the gratitude thing that's profound for me. And it's a breakthrough for me when you said it. I'm always kind of like, what are the big things I'm grateful for? Grateful for God, I'm grateful for my kids. You reduce it down to just something. What's the smallest thing you could be grateful for, right? I love that because there's always a small thing you can be grateful for. You know, I'm grateful, I clipped my toenails yesterday, whatever it is, right? There's something. So I just want to validate how powerful I think both those simple tools. The simplest things make the biggest impacts in our lives. Okay, a couple more things.

• 53:57Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah.

• 53:58Ed Mylett?

  I want to ask you some personal stuff for a minute.

• 53:59Dean Graziosi?

  You got it.

• 54:00Ed Mylett?

  You talk a lot about protecting your confidence. I'm a huge believer that like momentum and confidence is like this invisible force that we wish as influencers we could explain to people.

• 54:11Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah.

• 54:11Ed Mylett?

  And it's just something you need to end up possessing. I think you get confidence by keeping the promises you make to yourself. That's one of my theories.

• 54:18Dean Graziosi?

  Great theory.

• 54:18Ed Mylett?

  So I want you to, I want you to describe that. But I'd also, I'm willing, I'm wondering if you'd be willing to share even recently.

• 54:24Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah.

• 54:25Ed Mylett?

  The last four or five years, was there an incident where your confidence was rocked?

• 54:29Dean Graziosi?

  Yep.

• 54:29Ed Mylett?

  And so the importance of protecting it, and if you'd share a personal example, maybe you haven't shared before.

• 54:33Dean Graziosi?

  It's a great question, Ed. I'm really enjoying this, man. It's fun being here. And you have an amazing audience. You guys rock.

• 54:39Ed Mylett?

  Thank you.

• 54:39Dean Graziosi?

  So for me, confidence is, I just look at things again in the simplest form. I've never done anything good in my life when my confidence was down. I never got the girl when I was young. I never closed the deal. I didn't get the money I wanted. I didn't get the partnership. And not, not like your confidence is in the toilet and you're pathetic with your shoulders down. I'm talking about your confidence is 5% off.

• 54:59Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 55:00Dean Graziosi?

  Did you ever go into a meeting and you know you're a little off and you're like, I'm gonna, I'm just gonna grit my way through it? And you come out and you're like, damn, I should have just either ignored it or took a moment to build my confidence because I didn't get what I wanted. And I've just been obsessing on knowing that my confidence needs to be high at all times. So there's a million different ways to go. I love what Ed said on how to build confidence, keeping the promises you make with yourself. Incredible. One of the things I do is I really obsess on looking at the things that take my confidence. So for me, as simple as this sounds, is I haven't watched the news in 10 years. I don't watch it at all. Because I've never watched the news and got down and go, wow. I feel amazing. Like, you don't watch the news and go, "Ed, hey, man, I watched the news this morning. Dude, you should catch it at 12." You're not gonna believe it. You're not gonna believe how amazing shit is.

• 55:44Dean Graziosi?

  No, you watch the news, you're like, "Oh, my God," right? So, the news. I know this sounds crazy, and we know this is simple, but I've really eliminated the people in my life, and you've heard this a million times, that rob my confidence. And I've either become, if they're family members, I put the Teflon up, or I've slowly pushed them out of my life. And any exercise, anything that I do that robs my confidence, the people I surround myself, exercises, like I said, don't work on your weaknesses. I've obsessed on not-to-do lists. So if I go, "Hey, when I do X, Y, Z, it robs my confidence. I don't like it." I know it's gotta go out of my life. Like, my threshold, confidence builder, confidence detractor. If it's a detractor, it goes on the thing that's gotta go away. So, I would just encourage you, think about the things, the people,

• 56:28Dean Graziosi?

  the events you do, going to happy hour with the guys from work, and all they do is complain about how shitty your job or your boss is, or your company is. If that makes you feel bad about yourself, then they're robbing you of your bigger future. So, I would say, one of the things, besides what Ed said, is make a list of the things that ding your confidence just a little bit, and either reframe them or eliminate them. Wow. And I'll tell you a thing, you know, as entrepreneurs, it's like, it's great when you see, when someone does a post, an entrepreneur, it's like, "Oh, my God, this is amazing. Oh, life sucks. I'm gonna go broke. I'm losing everything. I should've never tried." "Oh, no, wait. I found it. Things are good. This is really good. I'm the greatest. I can't make a mistake." "Oh, my God, I screwed up again." Right? That's the life of an entrepreneur, but I would choose it a million times over, even with the failures. But, I have to tell you, so,

• 57:14Dean Graziosi?

  real estate education, right? So, real estate was my life. That's what made me a millionaire in my twenties. I wrote a book, Be a Real Estate Millionaire. That book alone broke a million copies. And I wrote that book and launched it in 2007, when the market was crashing. Everybody was doing it the same way. I taught people on the way down, "Don't fix and flip. Don't buy and hold. We don't know where the bottom is. Wholesale on the way down." So, I taught a wholesale strategy. Book went on fire. I don't know if any other real estate book has ever sold a million copies. We sold a million of that one. But on that way down, we built a company. We probably went from 2007 to 2000, maybe 12. In that downturn where all my competitors, literally, they were all gone. By the time we hit the bottom, they were gone. And we were a hundred million dollar a year company. And making a massive impact.

• 57:58Dean Graziosi?

  And I was working hard to get more influence and all those things, right? So the company's growing while everybody else is going down. So anyway, long story short, we became, I became the number one real estate educator on the planet. No one has ever touched as many lives as we can. And I've held that title for a long time, but about four years ago, we were also in the live event space, doing amazing 60, 70 live events a week. I wanted to go deeper because so many of my students, they can, you can give somebody a business on how to sell $20 bills for 10 bucks, and they'll still screw it up. They'll find a way to find an obstacle, they'll find a way to tell them that my family's, my parents said this is a scam, or nobody's gonna wanna buy a $20 bill for 10 bucks. Like, they'll screw it up, right? So I became so obsessed with it and my deep relationship with Tony,

• 58:42Dean Graziosi?

  and the impact he has on people and his encouragement. I'm like, I wanna go into the successful, I wanna go upstream. So my, my whole philosophy was, I can provide you with the way to make money, but if I don't go upstream and provide you with the right habits, you're gonna think I'm a loser and my shit doesn't work, and I don't like that. I don't want you sitting in Starbucks in five years going, I bought that Dean course. You can't make money in real estate. It's like, no, you can't make money at anything! Because you don't have the right habits. So I got obsessed with this, and I started scaling down the real estate business and going into the success space. Wrote Millionaire Success Habits, and just got obsessed on it. And I have to tell you, from going with a, in 2013, my brands and my company, we did over $200 million in sales. To kinda wind that down and start fresh, I wanted to leapfrog,

• 59:27Dean Graziosi?

  doing 200 million a year in Success Habits. And we took a dip. And of course, fortunately, I do well, so I didn't let anybody go. And I told the whole team, we're gonna ride, I've been here, I'm purposely riding this down so we can come back out. But I have to tell you, I was about a year in, I wrote the book, we first launched it, and a lot of people are confused, like, you're the real estate guy or the success guy? It's like, no, you have to be the success guy to be that big in real estate, right? You know this. And I have to tell you about a year and a half in, I wasn't getting the momentum I thought I should. And I started, I was losing my confidence, like wow, maybe, maybe because I'm older, maybe because I ignored social media. I did, because we were the number one show infomercial wise, and that was so big. I ignored social media and I see all these people with a million followers, I didn't even barely start an account yet.

• 1:00:11Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:12Dean Graziosi?

  Right? And all of a sudden I start and I got 10,000 followers, I'm like, wow, does everybody know that? Look at the impact I made, now I'm like the little guy in town.

• 1:00:18Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:19Dean Graziosi?

  And then honestly, it dinged my confidence.

• 1:00:20Ed Mylett?

  Thank you for sharing that.

• 1:00:21Dean Graziosi?

  And I started feeling a little insecure.

• 1:00:23Ed Mylett?

  What did you do about it?

• 1:00:26Dean Graziosi?

  I started getting my freaking story straight, the same thing, let's get my priorities straight. I said, listen, if I wanted to stay as the number one real estate guy, is it, is it my significance? You know what it was? It was my significance. My show ran so much no matter where I went, people like Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean, come in here, sit in the front, go to the front row, out of this, let me buy you dinner. All of a sudden, my show was off the air for two years, and I'm not getting the, the, the love, and I'm like, wow. And you know what it did? It made me a better man though.

• 1:00:49Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:50Dean Graziosi?

  Because I realized, what the hell am I doing it for? I'm doing it because I want to make an, at this phase of my life. I want to make an impact on the world, and I want to be a badass dad, and I want to be a good man, and a good relationship. Like, that's what makes me successful now.

• 1:01:00Ed Mylett?

  Yep.

• 1:01:01Dean Graziosi?

  Like, it's not the money, it's not the significance, and when I decided I didn't care anymore.

• 1:01:05Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:06Dean Graziosi?

  Oh my God, like Millionaire Success Habits, it was like, it was like a key turned. I mean, the book, we're almost at 400,000 copies, and it's on fire right now. And that brand is growing, we started Millionaire Success Habits Live Events.

• 1:01:17Ed Mylett?

  Wow.

• 1:01:17Dean Graziosi?

  And I'm partnering with some amazing people, I have the highest level mastermind.

• 1:01:20Ed Mylett?

  Where do you want to get that book, by the way? Do they go to Amazon, or do they go to a special site?

• 1:01:23Dean Graziosi?

  You go to Dean's Free Book.

• 1:01:24Ed Mylett?

  Dean's Free Book.

• 1:01:25Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah, you can get it for free, if you cover the shipping and handling, they'll send you the hardcover.

• 1:01:28Ed Mylett?

  We'll put it right on the screen right now. That, I appreciate you sharing that, because my favorite people, and also the most successful people I know are the most self-aware. And they're, I don't know, they're confident enough to share their vulnerabilities.

• 1:01:39Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:39Ed Mylett?

  So I really appreciate you sharing that, because I went through a similar thing when I went into this space too. And also, we're both just competitive people.

• 1:01:44Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:45Ed Mylett?

  Even though it's still in the back, it's like, man, why aren't I getting the traction I want?

• 1:01:47Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:01:48Ed Mylett?

  You know, I know about that. And even though your needs have moved to contribution, significance is still a big need for everybody, right?

• 1:01:53Dean Graziosi?

  It always will be.

• 1:01:54Ed Mylett?

  It's just always, I love to say, I've evolved, I'm not really a significance guy anymore, I'm here to grow and contribute, which is true. But there's an addiction to significance that's healthy as well, right?

• 1:02:04Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah, and I think, but what's cool is, and I see this with you, and I'm not just saying, but your significance is one thing, but that's not why you're, like, the significance is a great byproduct.

• 1:02:12Ed Mylett?

  There you go.

• 1:02:13Dean Graziosi?

  But your heart is to share.

• 1:02:14Ed Mylett?

  Correct, and so is yours.

• 1:02:15Dean Graziosi?

  And that's why, and that's why we connect in two minutes, and that's why sometimes you meet someone like, ooh.

• 1:02:19Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 1:02:19Dean Graziosi?

  You know?

• 1:02:20Ed Mylett?

  By the way, the other reason I connect with you is because you're so good at it. And I just want to validate that, everybody watch this, I mean, we're going to talk about where you'll follow him in a minute, but he's stuff is out freaking standing. I love people that get into this space, like I feel like I did, that you have, which I think is rare, like, they've spent a portion of their lives building their belief systems, their strategies, their, their way of doing things. They've proven it with a success, then, so it's validated, then they say, here's what I do.

• 1:02:45Dean Graziosi?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:45Ed Mylett?

  Rather than the other way around. So the reason your stuff is so good is because it comes from a space of having done something.

• 1:02:51Dean Graziosi?

  No, I get it.

• 1:02:52Ed Mylett?

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• 1:03:35Ed Mylett?

  So, find your next fall favorites at Quince, download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to quince.com/ed for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash ed. So you know I've been trying to take my health and my morning routine to the next level. And I used to do a whole bunch of different stuff, tons of different supplements. And then I found all in one in a drink with IM8. IM8 is the way to simplify your supplement routine, finally, once and for all. 16 supplements replaced 90 ingredients across nine major organ systems in one drink. You can have all these supplements for $2.61 a day. I've changed my mornings. The whole IM8 routine has changed my mornings.

• 1:04:20Ed Mylett?

  I feel great and I bring energy to the entire day. Go to IM8health.com/Ed10 right now, or click the link in the description and use code ED10 for a free welcome kit, five free travel sachets plus 10% off your order. That's code ED10 at IM8health.com/Ed10. Code ED10 at IM8health.com/Ed10. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

• 1:04:53Andy Frisella?

  That was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Ed Mylett Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way.

• 1:05:03Ed Mylett?

  I just want to remind you of something, my friend, and that is this. You were born to do something great with your life. I just had that on my heart today before we get going. I just feel like maybe there's an awful lot of you during this time right now that wonder whether that's true. And maybe you need to be reminded of it. Maybe you're not even sure how you're going to do it again. And I'm here to help you with all of that. But I just want to begin by telling you, you're special. You were born to do something awesome with your life in big ways and in small ways. And that's the whole purpose of this show, is for me to help you max out your life. And so you're stuck with me this week. If you listen to the show or watch the show for a long time, you know, kind of your old school, it used to be that every other week I would do a lesson, teach on something like spirituality, fitness, life strategy, influence, relationships, whatever it might be.

• 1:05:48Ed Mylett?

  Then the next week I have a guest on that's an expert that's maxed out a particular area of their life. Well, recently, the last eight months to a year, I've mainly done interviews with experts in different fields. But I had an experience myself yesterday that I've just felt compelled to share with all my brothers and sisters out there. That I think might make a difference in your life, might change your life like it changed mine. And so I'm so glad you decided to join me again this week, but I didn't want to start without telling you from my heart, I love you, I believe in you, and greatness is coming your way. I know that. And I do this show, not just to inspire you and to motivate you, but as many of you know, to give you the tactics and the strategies and the tools to make that a reality in your life. And so today, I'm going to give you another one. And I want you to write this

• 1:06:31Ed Mylett?

  down if you can, if you're YouTube, or you're not driving your car right now. And that is this. Today's theme is very simple. Diversity is the pathway to richness. Diversity is the pathway to richness. And I mean diversity in two forms. The people in your life, and the experiences of your life. And without that diversity, I'm so concerned in our culture today that I see us become more and more tribal, less and less diverse, both in our friendships and our relationships. We don't talk to each other, we talk at each other. And more and more, we hang around people just like us, don't we? And they kind of reinforce our beliefs and our way of living. And we just kind of go in this circle. It feels good. It's like eating cake, and it feels really good, but it doesn't grow us. And then the second thing is the lack

• 1:07:15Ed Mylett?

  of diverse experiences that we're giving ourself access to. And so I looked up diversity, by the way, in the dictionary, and basically, it means variety. We've all heard the saying that variety is the spice of life. And I know during this time with COVID, and the global pandemic, and high unemployment, and political polarization, and all the things that are happening, most people say, hey, life ain't so spicy right now. And I want to bring some spice back to your life, and you can do it for free on no budget. That spice, that variety, comes through diversity. So the experience that I had this week that I wanted to share with you, and I can only talk about it for a few minutes, because every time I get going, I can't finish sentences. But I dropped my son off at college yesterday. And

• 1:07:59Ed Mylett?

  Can't do it. Sorry. I just, my boy left me yesterday. It hit me much harder than I thought it would, and it's hitting me even harder again today. And I think one of the reasons is, is that I liked our kind of lack of variety, our lack of diversity. I had him under my roof every single day. But what I keep reminding myself of is how amazing these next four years can be for my son. Why? Because he's about to have the most diverse experience of his lifetime, isn't he? He's already meeting people that he didn't grow up around, people from different backgrounds, different countries, different economics, situations, different religions. He's going to be introduced to different ways of thinking. He's going to have decisions and choices to make, good and bad, isn't he, during these years? But any of you that went to college, or have sent a child off to college, it's four of the best years of most people's lives. Why?

• 1:08:44Ed Mylett?

  It's the most diverse years of their life. So if that's true for Max, I gotta be excited for him, don't I, as emotional as I am for myself? But it's also true for you. It's true for me. There's a direct correlation and connection between the amount of diversity in our life, variety, and how happy we are, how much we're growing. By the way, how wealthy you'll get too. And so when I dropped Max off, I, you know, I want to tell you first about making decisions. I said, Max, you're gonna have a lot of decisions you're gonna have to make in your life when you're here for the first time. And when I say diversity and variety and chase diversity, right, I don't mean things that you are knowingly aware of could be harmful to you. So when you're offered a drug, or a particular drink, or some situation or decisions you gotta make, Max, there's only

• 1:09:28Ed Mylett?

  two things you need to remember. So this is the next thing I'd have you all write down. I said, Max, you need to remember who you are as a man, your identity, and number two, what you stand for. And if every decision comes your way, you just remind yourself, who am I? And what do I stand for? And is this choice, this decision, consistent with that? Then you'll make the right decision. And I know that for a fact. By the way, for you, in your life, Who are you and what do you stand for? And have you been living that way recently? Because I think you love all people. I think you want to chase experiences. I think you want memories and moments in your life and you want to be happier. All of that is in this place that most of us avoid as we get older, which is new things, diverse things, different people, different ways of thinking.

• 1:10:13Ed Mylett?

  You're taught in the world right now, aren't you, man? These people are different, they're your enemy. Everybody in the world, both the left political party and the right political party will tell you, "Your life's messed up because of these people." It's not your fault, it's their fault. Both parties do it, right? It's interesting, so many people say, "You don't know what it's like to be me." But they seem to be an expert on what it's like to be you. Maybe those of you that think you're an expert on what it's like to be somebody else, or you've got an opinion about somebody's life, ask yourself if you've walked in their shoes. Ask yourself if you've had their experiences. And if you haven't, why don't you start to get to know people like that? And maybe your opinion could evolve or change. Or at least you'd have an experience, wouldn't you? That's unique and different than the one you're having with the same three, four, five people you talk to that go to the same three, four, five places.

• 1:10:56Ed Mylett?

  And so, you can have diversity right now on no budget. And I'm going to talk about those things with you today. And I'm excited for my son that he's going to have this diverse and amazing variety in his life going for different golf courses, different places he'll go, different things he's going to have to learn, tools and skills that he didn't have to learn when his mom was carrying for him. By the way, a lot of you say to me, "You know, you talk about your family, but not all the time, not as often as some people might." That's because, just to be candid with you, they deserve their privacy. They want their privacy. And you'd be surprised when you're a public person, some of the scary things that happen when you expose your family quite too much. But I felt compelled to share that experience with you because it was life-changing for him and it's life-changing for me. And the lesson there is it can be life-changing for you as well. So diversity in all forms.

• 1:11:40Ed Mylett?

  Remember I said, diversity in people in your life? And I want you to really evaluate that. The last 90 days or so, how many diverse conversations you have with people that grew up completely differently than you, different background, different race, different religion, right, different experience, and your business, how many people that are around you are very different than you, right, they look different, they talk different, they come from somewhere different, they bring different experiences, perspectives, thoughts, opinions, nuances to the table that are beautiful. See, as a country, we are better together. We're not all the same. People say, "We're all the same." No, we're not all the same, and that's what makes it so beautiful. We're not all the same, but together, we're stronger. Some people ask me if I'm gonna

• 1:12:22Ed Mylett?

  run for office. I don't know, but I doubt it. But one of the only reasons I would is I would do it to bring people together. I'm so tired of these political parties, the media, everybody, social media, putting us against each other. And they'll go, "Well, we're not the same. We're beautiful combined. Our combined experience, our combined skills, our combined thoughts, our combined lives, our combined souls are better together, are better..." I'm not saying everybody's good. I don't believe that. I don't believe everybody should be in your circle. But one of the things that's confusing to a lot of people, they say, "Well, wait a minute. I listen to you. I listen to social media. It says, 'Hey, keep your circle small. Only have people there that support your way of thinking.'" You're not understanding what that means. So let

• 1:13:04Ed Mylett?

  me clarify it for you. I mean, people that support your dreams, that support you, that support who you are and what you stand for, to go back to my conversation with Max. I don't want anybody in my life who doesn't support who I am and what I stand for, right? But I want them to express it. I want them to challenge me. I don't want everybody to think politically the same as me. I don't want everyone to have the same personality as me. If you're a really serious person, wouldn't it be more spicy, more diverse to have some hilarious people around you? If you're a complete right-winger, wouldn't it be just more diverse and interesting at lunch, at dinner, with someone who's on the left, or vice versa? Man, have some women friends, women. Hey, hey, guys, how about have some conversations with some ladies that you're

• 1:13:45Ed Mylett?

  not just dating? Just get to know their experience, what they're thinking about, what they fear, what they worry, what they want, what they chase, what their anxieties are, what their dreams are. What their insecurities are and vice versa. That's how we get better. And so your life, right? If you, I want to be happier. One of the ways is more diversity. And so if you haven't had a lot of that lately, chase it. There's someone at work that you could reach out to. You don't know, say, I want to get to know you better. Let's have a conversation. Let's have a zoom. If you can get together, have a cup of coffee, depending on where you live. Tell me about your life. I see at the office when we were there, I don't know anything about you. One of the things that drives my friends crazy is that if they get in an Uber with me or a limo, they know I'm not talking to them. I'm talking to the driver.

• 1:14:30Ed Mylett?

  Anybody who drives me or anything like that, because I believe human beings are gifts. And only is that revealed to you when you open them up. And so I know I interview kind of one of the things I do here is I interview, but I, I get to know people. I love people. It drives my friends crazy because they know we get in a car. If it's an hour, Eddie's talking to the driver the whole time. I want to know where you're from, what's your upbringing? Right? Because they're diverse. That's spice. I already know these other three, I could talk to them later. I want to talk to this person. I was driving last week, example, a guy picked me up. It's from Lebanon. I said, Hey, man, what's it like there? Take me through it. And I learned a lot. My life's better because I'm not from Lebanon. I've never been to Lebanon. But I had this picture, what it was like. And he's like, actually, where I grew up, man, gated community, middle class, Christians, Jews, Muslims, agnostic, all on my street.

• 1:15:15Ed Mylett?

  And we had street parties and we all got along great. I said, you're kidding me. That wasn't kind of my image. He goes, well, there's places where it's not like that. But where I lived, just like where you would live here. I said, you're kidding me? No way. And we had a great conversation. He's got three children. One of, this guy's from Lebanon. One of his kids that immigrated here, one of his kids is at Harvard. It's kicking butt, man. He's driving Uber to help support tuition. My life was richer because of that experience. Didn't cost me any money. My life got better. So were yours if you chase diversity. By the way, so are your business. So I want to talk to you entrepreneurs for a minute. Diversity is the key. I don't believe, by the way, hiring on skin color, one way or the other. I don't go, well, your skin's darker, I'm hiring you. Or your skin's lighter, I'm hiring you. I don't hire on genitalia or gender either.

• 1:15:58Ed Mylett?

  I hire the person that's the best for the job. Like for the presidential race right now, I'm not going to tell you who I'm voting for, but I can tell you this, their gender has nothing to do with who I'm voting for, pro or con. Who's the best person for the job? Having said that, one of the mistakes entrepreneurs make and we make in our lives that I made when I was young is I started to look at my business when I was younger. Everyone around me, my clients, the people that work with me, were all just like me. You looked around my business when I was 25, 26 years old. They're all guys, all former athletes, or military, or police, all kind of the testosterone masculine crowd. They loved my messages. They loved how I talked, the veins sticking out, getting all fired up, yelling and screaming. And I'd get this reinforcement, so I thought I was doing it right.

• 1:16:43Ed Mylett?

  One of the mistakes you entrepreneurs make is you keep getting reinforced your way of thinking. You do it in politics too, don't you? You'll watch on TV exactly what you already believe, right? Your phone's programmed now that what you've clicked on, they're gonna feed you more of what you like. And in work, we do it too. We, why? Why is it that those guys all were like me?

• 1:17:05Ed Mylett?

  You know why? Because we like people that are like us. We just do. It's an unconscious bias. Everybody has it. Black people have it, white people have it, old people have it, young people have it. It's an unconscious bias. We like people like us. It's not horrible to have, it's horrible not to be aware of. And so you have unconscious bias in your friendships, in your politics, and in your hiring and training and work. And so I had all these guys, they loved what I talked about. It was great. You're great, Ed. Thank you. And we were all fired up all the time about how supposedly great our company was. But guess what? That's a limited segment of the world. So is people just like you. You have a limited slice of life if everyone around you looks like you. My white friends, how many conversations you had in the last 90 days with a really good friend

• 1:17:49Ed Mylett?

  of yours that's Latin, or Chinese, or black? My black friends, last 10 phone calls you've had, last conversations, how many of them were with a white guy, or a white girl? And I hate skin color. I hate judging that. I'm talking about diversity of experience. Unfortunately, we live in a world where this has become, you better pick a tribe. It's terrible. The truth is, most of us are mixed with something. Drives me nuts that we even have to have this conversation.

• 1:18:14Ed Mylett?

  But the truth is, we have become tribal. And the truth is, you gotta get to know people that are different than you. And so I started to evaluate that. So stay with me on this. And I started to realize I needed to bring more people to the table that could express who I was and what I stood for in their unique way. I can express it my way. I need people's experiences, backgrounds, memories, nuances, personalities, ways of thinking that I don't have. And so let me give you a couple of examples of what my business life looks like. I've been named one of the 50th wealthiest men in the world under 50 years old. That's pretty cool. My podcast and my show that you're watching, if it's on YouTube, fastest growing show in the world. Couple of different magazines picked me the fastest growing businessman in the history

• 1:18:59Ed Mylett?

  of social media. That's pretty cool. In just three years, millions of people around the world listen to my content and my audience is unbelievably what? Diverse. 52% women, 48% men. 48% of my audience is under 35 years old. 52% of my audience is over. Global and in the United States. I have entrepreneurs and non-entrepreneurs. I have Christians, Muslims, Jews, agnostics. I have people that are, you know, trying to win financially in life and people that want to win spiritually in life. It's diverse. Why is that? Because obviously I'm that same guy that when I was 25, it's who I've surrounded myself with. So many of you may not know this, but I want you to think about something.

• 1:19:42Ed Mylett?

  I'd love to tell you that all that stuff's grown because I'm so incredible and so wonderful, but that's just not the case. The reason it's grown like it has is because of the diversity and the variety and the spice around me. Not only do I enjoy it, but it's tremendously changed my financial situation. By the way, I do all the social media stuff for free, as you know, but it's grown my brand. So let me give you an example. This social media, YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, wherever you're listening to me, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, all of that enterprise of mine, my public reputation and brand. The CEO and president of that company, the leader of that company is a woman, a young woman. A young black woman and one of my dearest friends whom I love named Trevi.

• 1:20:26Ed Mylett?

  So yeah, this entire thing you're consuming for me turns out it's driven by someone different than me, someone better than me, someone who brings experiences and thoughts. So it's my message. It's my brand. It's what I stand for. I hire for people who understand who I am and what I stand for, but can help me express it differently. Maybe in your case, get to markets differently. And so everything I do, I've trusted my entire public reputation and content with Trevi. And I wouldn't have anybody else to do it. I hope she stays forever. I love her. So that's who leads that part of my organization, the person who creates the content that you see

• 1:21:06Ed Mylett?

  on social media, also a woman, Athena, the person who handles all my personal finances, my bookkeeping, my accounting, my taxes, everything, a woman, Sue, the person who runs my new financial venture that I have, a woman, she's Greek and Latin, her name's Nicole. She's awesome. The person who runs my entire enterprise for the last two decades, all of my companies, handles all my financial, my money, 25 something different corporations, runs my world, is a woman. She's also my sister for two decades. She's been my sister all her life, but she's been my CEO for two decades, Erica. Turns out I have a really diverse team. Mike, my videographer,

• 1:21:49Ed Mylett?

  he's been with me forever. He looks like me, but I'm also loyal. So I've got a very diverse team. These women, these people bring to bear all kinds. That's just, that's just one example. My financial company has people from many different, East Indian, Muslim, Christian, Mormon. We have Chinese folks, Indian folks, black folks, white folks, Latino folks, old people, young people, all winning. Variety is the spice of life. I'm a better businessman. I'm richer financially and richer emotionally and spiritually because of the diversity in my life. We can learn from everybody. So my challenge to you is, take a look at your hiring. If you're running a company, maybe you need to get people together that are there that are very different. Why don't you encourage people that don't know each other to get on a Zoom or to have lunch this week?

• 1:22:34Ed Mylett?

  And just get to know one another, collaborate, connect, get to understand each other's backgrounds and nuances. I would challenge you to do that. I hope that's a breakthrough for you, by the way, on how to lead your company and in your life. Maybe reach out to somebody that's different than you this week, politically. Maybe for 20 minutes, listen to something that's not exactly what you already believe. By the way, well, hey, no, I am all Trump, 100%. I don't want to hear anything from these liberal wackos. Or you know what? Trump is a racist, crazy person. I'm not interested in talking to anybody who supports anything that guy stands for. Cool. So that's how you're going to live your life. You're not going to learn anything from their perspective. They're just evil if they disagree with you. Is that what you're saying? Or are you afraid that you, your beliefs are so weak

• 1:23:19Ed Mylett?

  that one conversation with them, you may get impacted and change? Which is it? Because if you believe it so strongly, they can't change your mind. Just have a conversation, have the experience and learn. You know what you might find out? There might be something they believe you ought to consider, maybe one little part of it. And you know what the worst thing that would happen is? You go, you know what? I just, I listen to them. I totally disagree with them. I feel stronger about how I feel. Great. That's an experience. But I can guarantee if you had 10, 12, 20, 30 of these, your life would change. How about this? What could you do that's new for the first time? Think about your life, all the things that have been the greatest moments of your life were new in the first time and diverse, weren't they? But maybe the last 90 days, because we've been locked in our houses or there's no financial means. So what could you do? Could there be a new hobby you could pick up? New music you listen to? Maybe you're a country music fan.

• 1:24:04Ed Mylett?

  Listen to something else for a while. I'm listening to Sinatra right now. There's no new music out. So I'm going back all the way to Sinatra just to get some variety, just to get some spice in my life. I'm tired of listening to same songs over and over again. Same conversations, right? The second thing we teach in personal development is, man, you better have habits, rituals and routines. I teach this. People take that to an extreme. That's a foundational thing you should have that gives you the anchor so you can go have variety and diversity and keep your life under. If everything in your life is routine, if you and your spouse watch the same shows together, go to the same restaurants, order the same food, have the same conversations every single day. That's a relationship that's dying, not growing. Why don't you do something new and innovative?

• 1:24:47Ed Mylett?

  Walk somewhere different, work out together, try a different restaurant, have a different conversation, watch a different movie. Heck, do something that's just diverse. Don't sleep in your bed tonight, grab a couple of sleeping bags and have a camp out in the living room and a picnic and do something romantic, something diverse, get creative. It's the spice of life. Your ability to create diverse and variety-based experiences will be the juice of your life, your relationships and your business. But you can't go through the motions. You've got to force diversity, force yourself into variety. New conversations, new experiences, a new place you hike. I don't know, something new that's diverse and variety. We avoid it as adults and it kills me. You know, you can learn from everybody.

• 1:25:32Ed Mylett?

  Let me share this with you. You'd say, well, everybody? Yeah, you may not agree, but you can learn. You can learn. That grows you. You know, many of you know that my first job out of college, I worked at McKinley Home for Boys, which basically was an orphanage. My boys were all eight to 10 years old. My boys grew up in some ways like me, in some ways different. And so it changed my life because I got so much diversity in my life. My boys were wards of the court. So my boys, most of them were either molested by their family. Their parents were incarcerated or dead. And so, by the way, most of my boys were inner-city boys and most of my boys were a minority of some type.

• 1:26:18Ed Mylett?

  Okay? They changed my life. You say, well, they must have learned a great deal from you, Ed. I mean, your mentoring and your way of living. They did, and I learned a ton from them. So if I could learn from eight and nine-year-old inner-city boys, don't you think you could learn from someone who thinks completely differently than you? Wouldn't that be interesting? By the way, it's one of the great experiences of my life. I still talk about it all the time. Well, what did I learn from those guys? Well, I'll tell you what I learned. I didn't grow up around guys like that. I grew up middle class. I say lower middle class. My mom and dad keep telling me we were middle class, so I'll default to we were middle class. But I didn't grow up around guys like them. But you know what I learned? I learned to be grateful for the most simple things in my life from them. I remember one day, I would walk the boys to school every day,

• 1:27:01Ed Mylett?

  and little Marcus, every day, would start skipping. We always walked in a line, and he would start skipping. I say, "Marcus, get back in line, brother." "Okay, Eddie." And he would do it every day. So finally, one day, he skipped again. I said, "Marcus, you need to get back in line, man. I'm not gonna tell you three times." And he looks at me with this beautiful little face. Marcus was an African-American little boy. And he goes, "Eddie, okay." I said, "What are you so damn excited about, man?" He goes, "No gunshots on this way to school. Every day, there's no gunshots, Mr. Eddie." And I went, "Yeah, that is cool, Marcus. That is pretty awesome." And I thought, something that simple, he was grateful for. What a lesson for me. We're always grateful for the biggest things in our lives.

• 1:27:46Ed Mylett?

  The biggest things in our lives. What about the small things that we take for granted every single day that someone from a different background can teach us is so special? I remember one morning, I came in to wake up Jose. And little Jose woke up. And I said, "Jose, let's go, brother. It's time to get up, man." And he gets out of bed, and he says, "Mr. Eddie." He gives me this big hug in the morning. He's a little eight-year-old at the time. And he goes, "I love you. I love you. Thank you." I said, "For what?" He goes, "For getting me up every morning." I said, "Of course, brother. We gotta get to school." And I later found out that his parents never woke him up for school. He'd miss school all the time. He'd sleep until 10 or 11. No one would get him up. No one would make him breakfast.

• 1:28:31Ed Mylett?

  No one would talk to him about school. No one asked him about his report card. No one asked him about his grades. He just wanted somebody to care. And I thought, these things that I took for granted with my mom growing up were so simple. See, when you begin to get diverse experiences, you begin to get insights into life changing. Variety in your life. It's also the key to making a comeback. If you're going to change things right now and make a comeback, you need to start to think different and act different and feel different about yourself. And that comes from all of these experiences. You know, I told Max, I said, Max, listen, there's going to be choices for you at college, man, that are going to be very difficult. This is not going to be all sunsets and rainbows. Right? I said, my freshman year of college, man, I had some decisions to make. I said, let me tell you about my freshman year.

• 1:29:15Ed Mylett?

  I went away to college, which is already scary. So I know you're a little bit scared. I said, I went away, I get there, and my girlfriend breaks up with me. Back home, that one hurt. Then my teammates didn't like me. I'm super introverted and shy. I was from California. Most of those guys weren't. They thought I was arrogant and cocky because I was quiet. So, but it wasn't. I was just super intro. They actually nicknamed me Eddie myself instead of Eddie Mylett because I was alone so often. And so my girlfriend breaks up with me. My teammates don't like me. Two months after I got there, the coach who recruited me quit and took a scouting job. So now the reason I went there is gone. And I said, Max, then the game started and I was overmatched. I wasn't good enough. I hit 220 my freshman year. I sucked.

• 1:29:58Ed Mylett?

  I played every game because the guy behind me was even worse than me. And I said, we went 15 and 45 that year. 15 wins, 45 losses. And a bunch of other crap happened that wasn't good that year as well. I said, when it was over, I wanted to quit. And I called my dad, which is his grandfather. We call him Gump. I said, Gump came up and I said, Dad, this didn't work out. Look, the guy who recruited me quit. The teammates don't like me. I'm not good enough to play here. You know, we're terrible. I just want to come home and I'll go to another school back home. And my dad said, well, you could do that. You've got a decision to make. And guess what my dad said to me? He probably doesn't even remember this. He goes, is that consistent with who you are as a man? Is that what you stand for?

• 1:30:43Ed Mylett?

  Same two questions I asked you earlier. I said, what do you mean? He said, is that, is that who you are? Are you a quitter? When it gets really difficult, you run? I said, Dad, that's not what happened. The coach quit. He goes, oh, so what you stand for, as long as people around you quit and give up, make mistakes, that gives you permission to do it? That's what you're saying? And when it gets really difficult, you just run? And you really believe you're not any good? That's why you hit 220? And you can't help the team get any better? It's fine, you can leave. I just want to make sure that that's who you are and what you stand for.

• 1:31:16Ed Mylett?

  You got me. And I thought about it really hard, Max. I thought, that's not who I am. I don't run when it gets tough. And you know what? Maybe I could outwork these guys this summer and get a little bit better. And maybe I won't hit 220 next year. Maybe we could win a few more games. And the fact that the coach quit, that doesn't give me permission to get weak and quit either. My dad was a diverse thinker. And I stayed. And you know what? Worked out pretty well. Next year, I hit like 360. Was Defensive Player of the Year. We won some more games. My coach is a friend of mine to this day. So is my pitching coach. Both Quincy and Stan are both friends of mine. And I'm really glad that I made that decision. Max, you're going to be faced with those decisions as well. My thinking is maybe

• 1:31:59Ed Mylett?

  some of you listening to this day are being faced with those decisions. Aren't you? I am so excited to have this gentleman to my left here today. And I'm so excited to share with you that he's written this new book called Think Like a Monk. Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day. Jay Shetty.

• 1:32:15Jay Shetty?

  Ed, thank you so much, man. I'm so grateful for this.

• 1:32:17Ed Mylett?

  As I've watched this meteoric rise of yours, I've actually privately, a few times, not every day, but a few times, I've actually prayed for you that you would keep this level of humility. And so this is an interesting thing I wanted to ask you, but it'll serve everybody else. There is this balance, isn't there, of wanting this book to do well. Right? You don't want it to sell two copies. You want it to do very well. When you put a video out, there's probably a this, there's got to be a little part of you that's like, how well did it do? And I think that line right there, I'm not even sure if you or I know the answer entirely. But do you struggle with that balance of, I'm doing this in the

• 1:32:58Ed Mylett?

  service of people, yet I'm sensitive to the response of what I'm doing? Because I think someone listening to this right now who's gonna have a sales presentation tomorrow, they want to be in the service of that person. But there's this part of them that is in that balance we've talked about earlier about what's the response going to be? How am I going to be received? I want people to like me. I want them. How do you navigate that?

• 1:33:19Jay Shetty?

  That's a great question, man. That's huge. And the answer, let's take that salesperson. The more time that person spends in empathy, their customer's pain, and what the customer is really looking for, the better they're gonna be received. Yes. So that service mindset always helps because if you're thinking about, and this is what it comes, and I said this to my team when we were writing the book and everything I was working on, I said, if I sit here right now, and all I'm thinking about while I'm writing the book is being a bestselling book, then guess what? I'm now not writing the book. I'm now living in the future and I'm not living in the present. And so the only way to make this a bestselling book

• 1:34:04Jay Shetty?

  is to do the process properly. And I don't think, and this is what I do, and this is the only thing that's helping me, and again, I go through it all the time. After my first video went viral, three, four years ago, I stopped creating because of the pressure that I wouldn't be able to live up to it. Wow. So I actually got scared because I was like, oh well, what if the next video doesn't do as well? Everyone's gonna think I'm tanking, like, you get into that self doubt and that self, and I got into that space where I was just like... Thank you for being honest about that. Yeah, no, really, like genuinely, I didn't wanna make a video again. Because I was like, this video just got forty million views, like, how am I ever gonna beat that, right? And you get scared. I was like, I'm not putting anything out, I'm just gonna stop. And then I started to realize, I was like, well, now I'm not living in service anymore. I'm living out of ego and I'm living for feeling a certain way.

• 1:34:47Jay Shetty?

  And guess what? I'm not feeling better by not putting anything out. Yeah. And actually, if I just serve more, I learn more. So the way I've made sense of it, and there's a verse in the Gita that explains it too, is that you have full control over the preparation, the process, and the practice. But you have no control over the potential result. But all of those three things are the result in and of themselves. Yes. And so if you get addicted to the process of writing, the practice of connecting with the right people who can help share your work, and hey, like you said, I am focused on the process of making sure that the most people in the world have the opportunity to buy this book.

• 1:35:29Jay Shetty?

  But then if they choose not to buy it, I can't control that. But I can control making sure... That it's in front of everyone and that I believe in the context. And that to me is not attachment, that to me is not ego, that to me is trying to live your best life. I mean, like, you know, if you didn't just try, if you're like, I wrote this book, but who cares?

• 1:35:49Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 1:35:49Jay Shetty?

  I mean, that's not service either. Because the way I explain it, and I'm not, I'm not claiming that this is it, and I'm not trying to say I'm it. I'm trying to say that, I think we all feel this way. If you or me see an amazing movie, we want to tell everyone about it. If you read an amazing book, you want to tell everyone about it. If you found the cure to cancer, you tell everyone about it. For me, I got to live an incredible life thanks to these amazing teachers I met. I just want to tell everyone about it, like, that's all I'm doing.

• 1:36:17Ed Mylett?

  Yes.

• 1:36:18Jay Shetty?

  But I want to tell everyone because of how powerful it was.

• 1:36:21Ed Mylett?

  Brother, that's the best description I've ever heard of, there's this line I've always tried to teach of, you want to have outcomes, but yet you need to separate from them.

• 1:36:28Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:29Ed Mylett?

  And that's a difficult thing when people are trying to achieve different things. That was perfectly stated, absolutely being addicted to the process of it, but actually separating from what you can't control, I absolutely, absolutely love it.