Standard Directive 013: If You HAVE To Say Something, Ask an Earnest Question

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Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Jocko Willink?

  I often recommend that you talk less, that you think before you open your mouth.

• 0:10Jocko Willink?

  But let's face it, there's gonna be times when you really feel the need to say something. You want to make a point, or you want people to hear your side of things.

• 0:22Jocko Willink?

  And when that happens, and you feel like you really have to say something, let me make another recommendation.

• 0:28Jocko Willink?

  So think first, but if you really feel like you need to make a statement, that you know has some value, instead of making a statement, instead, try asking a question. Try asking an earnest question.

• 0:47Jocko Willink?

  Instead of saying, "I don't think this plan will work",

• 0:53Jocko Willink?

  ask something like, "Hey, what is the exact outcome that we're looking for?"

• 1:00Jocko Willink?

  Right? You ask an earnest question. Instead of saying, "That doesn't make any sense", ask something like, "I'm not sure I'm following this correctly. Can you explain it again?"

• 1:12Jocko Willink?

  Instead of making the statement, "This is dumb", try asking,

• 1:18Jocko Willink?

  "Are you sure this is really the best way to move forward?"

• 1:22Jocko Willink?

  So you're asking questions, earnest questions. And I know a bunch of you right now are sitting there saying, "That doesn't make any sense", right? "Why would I ask a bunch of questions? I'm a direct person. People just need to deal with that." And that's the most effective way to let people know what you're thinking is just to tell them. Well, unfortunately, people, most people, they don't like confrontation. And when they get hit with confrontation, they get defensive and they stop listening. And we don't move forward. So don't do that. Instead, ask an earnest question. And earnest means that you mean the question. You're actually asking what the outcome is that we're looking for.

• 2:07Jocko Willink?

  You're actually asking for something to be explained again because you aren't following it. You're actually really wondering if this is the best way to move something forward.

• 2:16Jocko Willink?

  If you're not asking an earnest question, if you don't really mean the question, you'll sound like you're accusing people, or you're asking leading questions. And accusing people or asking leading questions also makes people defensive.

• 2:36Jocko Willink?

  So be careful, don't attack people.

• 2:39Jocko Willink?

  Don't be offensive. Don't criticize people with your tone. Instead, ask earnest questions, and this will lead you to solutions.