Pauline Chalamet asks about dangerous situations

Pauline Chalamet (Sex Lives of College Girls) asks Handsome a thrillingly dangerous question that leads to some great stories! Plus, Mae finds a husband, Fortune dances in bed, and Handsome HR gets summoned to the podcast record! Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepodThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Fortune Feimster?

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:04Mae Martin?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking whether I brought my sunglasses before driving west at the end of the day? A learning moment. I'm gaining confidence in my driving, but it helps when I'm not blinded by the sun beaming directly into my eyeballs.

• 0:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 0:35Mae Martin?

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• 1:19Mae Martin?

  Squarespace makes it easy, so easy, we even made a handsome website ourselves in less than 20 minutes. So what are you waiting for? Get started on your dream website today. Head to Squarespace.com/handsome for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code HANSSOME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Handsome Pod. Chat with friends on the Handsome Pod. Chat with friends on the Handsome Pod. Cheers.

• 1:50Tig Notaro?

  Welcome to the Handsome Pod. It is your dearest, dearest friend Tig Notaro along with us.

• 1:57Mae Martin?

  Mae Martin.

• 1:59Tig Notaro?

  In the house.

• 2:00Fortune Feimster?

  Fortune Feimster also in the house.

• 2:04Tig Notaro?

  Oh, I'm in, I'm in the office.

• 2:06Fortune Feimster?

  I'm in a grandma's, grandma's house.

• 2:10Mae Martin?

  Are you actually at your grandma's house?

• 2:12Fortune Feimster?

  I wish. She's dead.

• 2:14Tig Notaro?

  She's dead, remember?

• 2:15Fortune Feimster?

  I'm so sorry.

• 2:16Tig Notaro?

  We talk about her every week.

• 2:18Mae Martin?

  Oh my god, of course.

• 2:20Fortune Feimster?

  I just wanted an excuse to talk about my dead grandma.

• 2:24Mae Martin?

  But it does look like kind of a grandma-ish room.

• 2:28Fortune Feimster?

  I'm on the road. It's just a hotel room.

• 2:30Mae Martin?

  Okay, because as I said that, I was like, I hope that's not Fortune's bedroom. And I just said it was grandma-ish.

• 2:35Fortune Feimster?

  I said it first, so it's okay.

• 2:37Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:38Fortune Feimster?

  No, I'm in a cute little hotel room.

• 2:41Tig Notaro?

  Aww.

• 2:41Fortune Feimster?

  You guys can see where my bed is.

• 2:44Tig Notaro?

  Yes, we can.

• 2:46Fortune Feimster?

  Where none of the magic happens.

• 2:48Tig Notaro?

  Will you lie down on the bed in a sexy pose, please? Yeah, yeah. With the headphone, with the headset.

• 2:56Mae Martin?

  Wow, that did not take much convincing.

• 3:01Mae Martin?

  Yeah, great. Yeah, really good stuff.

• 3:04Tig Notaro?

  This is also input into what Fortune thinks is sexy.

• 3:08Mae Martin?

  Yeah, this is really.

• 3:10Tig Notaro?

  Not input, but insight.

• 3:12Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Wow, that one was my favorite at the end, just grinning on all fours. If you're listening to this, go to YouTube for the love of God. Fortune is.

• 3:22Tig Notaro?

  Is on a bed in a hotel. And she is working some sexy poses.

• 3:30Fortune Feimster?

  When did? I just drooled.

• 3:32Tig Notaro?

  Okay, well, we were too, by the way. That was so sexy.

• 3:36Fortune Feimster?

  Was that vava boom?

• 3:38Tig Notaro?

  That was way vava, vava, vava, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

• 3:43Fortune Feimster?

  This part's not sexy.

• 3:49Mae Martin?

  But you know what I think is underused in sexy poses that I was really glad you brought to the table was.

• 3:55Tig Notaro?

  Headsets?

• 3:56Mae Martin?

  Grinning with wide eyes. Grinning with wide eyes. It's that.

• 4:02Fortune Feimster?

  Like this?

• 4:03Mae Martin?

  Yeah, like you looked so happy. Yeah.

• 4:06Fortune Feimster?

  I was very happy to be doing that for you guys.

• 4:09Tig Notaro?

  Oh, we were thrilled to receive it with our eyeballs.

• 4:12Mae Martin?

  Talking about it?

• 4:13Tig Notaro?

  Didn't say a word.

• 4:14Mae Martin?

  Were you?

• 4:17Fortune Feimster?

  Were you giving him play by play?

• 4:20Tig Notaro?

  I was saying, this is giving us some interesting insight into what Fortune thinks is sexy.

• 4:27Fortune Feimster?

  I had a chair, I didn't realize blocking part of my view, but that was probably for the best.

• 4:31Tig Notaro?

  It was, it was for the best. Um, that was unbelievable. Thank you for doing that.

• 4:38Fortune Feimster?

  Thank you.

• 4:38Mae Martin?

  Listen, I thank you for the opportunity.

• 4:41Tig Notaro?

  If I can encourage people to head on over to YouTube and check out Fortune doing sexy, sexy poses. And now, have you been day drinking?

• 4:53Fortune Feimster?

  Actually, no, not a drop of alcohol.

• 4:56Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 4:57Fortune Feimster?

  Just agua.

• 4:58Tig Notaro?

  Alright, alright. Wow, bilingual.

• 5:01Fortune Feimster?

  Aqua.

• 5:04Fortune Feimster?

  That was a real treat. Um, probably the most exercise I've had all day.

• 5:08Tig Notaro?

  Uh huh.

• 5:09Fortune Feimster?

  And I'm back, baby. Y'all did start, I could see you in the monitor giving me, yeah, like telling me what you do.

• 5:16Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I was wanting you to do a little bunny paws or whatever that is.

• 5:20Fortune Feimster?

  I did something.

• 5:21Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, you did something, that's for sure.

• 5:23Mae Martin?

  So what is the, is bunny paws a sex thing or a sexy thing that people do?

• 5:28Tig Notaro?

  It is now. It is now.

• 5:31Speaker 03

  May is very sexy right now.

• 5:36Mae Martin?

  Well, when I came into this comic book store, I wasn't expecting.

• 5:40Tig Notaro?

  Oh, that's why I'm here.

• 5:41Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 5:42Tig Notaro?

  May, how are you doing?

• 5:44Mae Martin?

  I'm pretty good. I'm, I'm good, I think. I don't know.

• 5:48Tig Notaro?

  Alright, it's a high pitched good.

• 5:50Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:54Mae Martin?

  Actually, you know what? I am good because, um, I finally launched my animal paintings book for charity.

• 6:01Tig Notaro?

  I saw that.

• 6:02Mae Martin?

  They sold out in 14 hours, all the, um, books and tote bags.

• 6:08Tig Notaro?

  Why did it take so long?

• 6:10Fortune Feimster?

  And you haven't priced high enough?

• 6:13Mae Martin?

  Um, I, I hope so, but the, this is the crazy thing. This is why maybe my voice went, I'm okay. Is that I, I realized only after they sold out that, like, I haven't hired anyone to do all the packing and shipping. Like, I have to personally pack up, like, more than a thousand packages and I-

• 6:31Fortune Feimster?

  A thousand?

• 6:33Mae Martin?

  Yeah, cuz there's separate orders-

• 6:34Fortune Feimster?

  You sold a thousand paintings?

• 6:36Mae Martin?

  I sold six hundred-

• 6:37Tig Notaro?

  Thousand books.

• 6:38Mae Martin?

  Books and then a bunch of like hats and, and tote bags and postcards, but yeah.

• 6:43Tig Notaro?

  Well, why don't you wait till Fortune gets home? We can have a packing party.

• 6:46Mae Martin?

  Oh, yeah.

• 6:47Fortune Feimster?

  I got nothing going on.

• 6:49Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:51Fortune Feimster?

  We could just-

• 6:52Tig Notaro?

  Tons of free time. So do I. So we'll just head on over and we'll just help you out.

• 6:58Mae Martin?

  Wouldn't that be nice if we did just have much more free time than we do? And, and do you think that we would do more activities together? Would we do lemonade stands and like-

• 7:07Fortune Feimster?

  This reminds me of the time where we said, if we could spend time with people and you picked us.

• 7:12Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 7:12Fortune Feimster?

  You remember that?

• 7:13Mae Martin?

  Yes, yes.

• 7:14Tig Notaro?

  And we were, we were stunned.

• 7:16Mae Martin?

  Stunned.

• 7:16Fortune Feimster?

  Cuz it was like, it was like picking with, you could choose like anyone, right?

• 7:20Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 7:21Fortune Feimster?

  And you chose us and we're like-

• 7:23Fortune Feimster?

  This was like three months into the podcast.

• 7:27Tig Notaro?

  Was that bef- was that first and then we had to reveal or we had picked other people and then-

• 7:33Mae Martin?

  I think I was-

• 7:33Fortune Feimster?

  I don't remember.

• 7:35Mae Martin?

  I can't remember, but that is really embarrassing. Yeah, I really, I stand by it.

• 7:39Fortune Feimster?

  For real, but if we had more time, I believe that we would be doing more fun things together.

• 7:44Tig Notaro?

  We would be in grandma's bedroom with, uh, Fortune doing sexy poses.

• 7:50Mae Martin?

  Joined at that hip.

• 7:51Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. You don't know what, uh, real friendship is like until you've been in, in grandma's bedroom-

• 7:57Mae Martin?

  This old bedroom posing.

• 8:02Mae Martin?

  I would invite you to do more activities, Tig, but you're hard to get a hold of. You're not, you're not like an avid texter.

• 8:09Tig Notaro?

  No, I'm not. I'm not avid anything.

• 8:12Mae Martin?

  What if Fortune was like, yeah, you are. Yeah, no, Tig always texts me.

• 8:16Tig Notaro?

  Tig won't stop texting me. Look at all these texts that Tig hasn't returned. God dang it. I've returned texts.

• 8:24Mae Martin?

  Get on your phone.

• 8:27Tig Notaro?

  I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy about texting. I'll be honest, but I get, I get it done. I get it done.

• 8:32Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:33Tig Notaro?

  But I would come over and pack up everything you needed me to.

• 8:39Mae Martin?

  If you weren't washing your hair.

• 8:41Tig Notaro?

  If I was not washing my filthy hair. That is true.

• 8:45Mae Martin?

  How are you? So you're back in LA?

• 8:47Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm. I am back in LA after months of travel.

• 8:52Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 8:53Tig Notaro?

  And it feels unreal. And I, I love getting home and just like, I love doing laundry. I love folding clothes. I love getting back into life and getting just, I don't, I just, I love getting the house in order. And I just being back in life and like Stephanie and I take morning walks together every day. And it's really nice to be back just kind of, when we take our walks, we get to talk about, you know, obviously Max and Finn and our projects that we're working on and family, friend, you know, like just catch up on everything. And it's.

• 9:36Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that's your best friend. That's so nice.

• 9:39Tig Notaro?

  It's so nice to start the day like that again.

• 9:42Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that's great.

• 9:44Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. You guys are reunited and it feels so good. We were only apart for a week.

• 9:54Tig Notaro?

  None of this counts then. I know, but I've been traveling all around, you know, I was in Colorado, New York, Massachusetts, Canada, all that. So anyway, but yeah, it feels so good. And to be back with Kitty City and everything feels good. But man, did we have a grand old summer.

• 10:16Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that's amazing. Yeah.

• 10:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 10:18Mae Martin?

  I'm just getting ready to see if any of my spells worked that I did in Arrowhead because I'm going off to the Toronto Film Festival. So I want to see if. If any of my spells worked.

• 10:29Tig Notaro?

  Wait, what kind of, did you tell us about your spells?

• 10:32Fortune Feimster?

  May told us that they did spells, but we don't know specifics. So is anyone in harm's way?

• 10:37Tig Notaro?

  I am, must have blocked out you saying you do spells.

• 10:41Mae Martin?

  I, I think I, well, maybe I did a spell on you to make you forget. Um, I

• 10:45Fortune Feimster?

  I put a spell on you.

• 10:47Mae Martin?

  I'm, I'm not really doing it. I'm not doing any curses or anything like that, but I'm doing, you know, protective spells. I'm, I think I might meet, meet my wife soon. I think this, I did a spell. I think so. I think it's, I think that's on the horizon. Or husband, we'll see, spouse.

• 11:05Tig Notaro?

  Are you open to marrying a man?

• 11:07Mae Martin?

  Yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah.

• 11:08Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 11:09Mae Martin?

  It'd have to be pretty funny, I think.

• 11:10Fortune Feimster?

  Boo.

• 11:11Mae Martin?

  I'm kidding.

• 11:15Mae Martin?

  He'd have to maybe be like, be open to doing a role, a role play where he played like, um, kind of cheerleading.

• 11:25Tig Notaro?

  Sexy lady.

• 11:26Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

• 11:27Tig Notaro?

  Would you really be into that, May?

• 11:29Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 11:30Tig Notaro?

  If he was like this dashing dude and you'd like for him to be a cheerleader?

• 11:35Mae Martin?

  Because it would be so, I'd be so impressed by how secure he is. Like if he put on a cheerleading outfit, I've just, this has just occurred to me now, by the way, this isn't like on my list of, but yeah.

• 11:47Tig Notaro?

  Thomas, put it on the list.

• 11:48Mae Martin?

  Yeah. If I met a guy who was secure enough to dress up like a mean cheerleader, yeah, I'd be in heaven. That'd be great.

• 11:56Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 11:57Fortune Feimster?

  I

• 11:57Mae Martin?

  With a wiener under like cheerleading skirt?

• 11:59Tig Notaro?

  Oh my God.

• 12:01Mae Martin?

  Sorry.

• 12:03Tig Notaro?

  I wouldn't even want Stephanie in a cheerleading skirt. I'll be honest.

• 12:07Mae Martin?

  I don't have a cheerleader thing. I don't know. I don't know.

• 12:09Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, you do. Yes, you do. And it's become clear to everyone.

• 12:13Mae Martin?

  I don't know.

• 12:15Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know. I, I've always seen you with a wife, but you never know.

• 12:19Mae Martin?

  Where have you been seeing me with a wife? Let me know where you are.

• 12:23Fortune Feimster?

  At night when I, in my dreams.

• 12:25Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 12:27Tig Notaro?

  And May, you're feeling like you could, you could lock it down and get married, or would you still have an open kind of thing?

• 12:35Mae Martin?

  Depends on the sitch. Depends on the sitch. But I think I, I'm so tired.

• 12:39Tig Notaro?

  Wait, a person just walked by your

• 12:40Fortune Feimster?

  That just walked past your window.

• 12:42Tig Notaro?

  Maybe it's your husband.

• 12:43Fortune Feimster?

  Has already come true.

• 12:44Mae Martin?

  What are you talking about?

• 12:46Tig Notaro?

  A fellow just walked by your window.

• 12:49Mae Martin?

  Swear to God.

• 12:49Fortune Feimster?

  Are you serious?

• 12:50Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 12:52Fortune Feimster?

  Wow, this spell is really powerful.

• 12:54Mae Martin?

  What did he look like? Hang on, should I check?

• 12:56Tig Notaro?

  Well, he had a cheerleading skirt.

• 13:01Mae Martin?

  Wait, okay, should I check who that is? I'm sure it's a gardener.

• 13:05Tig Notaro?

  Yes, of course you should.

• 13:06Mae Martin?

  I'm a little worried that there's someone.

• 13:08Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, well, if you're worried, don't ignore it.

• 13:12Mae Martin?

  Yeah, one sec, I'm just gonna double check.

• 13:15Tig Notaro?

  Now, Fortune, now that I have you alone, could you get back on that bed?

• 13:21Fortune Feimster?

  I've got enough steps for today.

• 13:26Tig Notaro?

  Just walking over to the bed.

• 13:29Fortune Feimster?

  I was winded. I do need to amp up my exercise game, though, because in this new golf show I'm doing with Will Ferrell, I'm gonna be walking all day on golf courses, carrying golf clubs and the bag. It's gonna be intense.

• 13:45Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 13:46Fortune Feimster?

  I ate salmon today to get ready for it.

• 13:49Tig Notaro?

  Wait, hold on, Fortune. May, are you in danger?

• 13:54Mae Martin?

  I am married now. I just met my husband. No, it was, um, there's a guy fixing my AC and I, but we hadn't, we hadn't, we hadn't arranged for him to come today, so that alarmed me. But, sorry, is salmon the thing that you're meant to?

• 14:10Fortune Feimster?

  Right, just you eat it once and you're good?

• 14:12Tig Notaro?

  That's how you get ready for, um, walking around golf courses.

• 14:16Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I ate salmon and an avocado and sweet potatoes. And I think I'm good for a while. I think that's how health works.

• 14:24Mae Martin?

  That sounds really good.

• 14:26Tig Notaro?

  You ate that today for lunch?

• 14:28Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, can you believe it? It was between that or Subway, and I really wanted Subway, but I went, no, I'm gonna eat salmon, because I gotta walk a golf course.

• 14:39Tig Notaro?

  And what do you like at Subway?

• 14:41Mae Martin?

  Yeah, tell us your Subway order.

• 14:43Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. Well, listen, my go-to's not Subway. My go-to, sandwich-wise, would be Jersey Mike's.

• 14:51Mae Martin?

  I've never had it.

• 14:52Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 14:52Fortune Feimster?

  It's tasty. I like the turkey or the tuna.

• 14:55Mae Martin?

  Yeah, tuna sandwich is good.

• 14:56Fortune Feimster?

  But then in a pinch, I like a Subway turkey.

• 15:00Mae Martin?

  I can tell you've been, you've been hanging out. I can tell you've been hanging out with your parents. No, your, your accent is strong.

• 15:07Fortune Feimster?

  Is it?

• 15:08Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 15:09Fortune Feimster?

  In a pinch.

• 15:10Mae Martin?

  Dialled out like twenty percent.

• 15:12Fortune Feimster?

  I've been hanging out with my divorced parents all week.

• 15:15Mae Martin?

  I saw that video you posted where you were like, well, too bad I come from a broken home. And they're just there laughing. That was amazing.

• 15:22Tig Notaro?

  That's hilarious.

• 15:24Mae Martin?

  It was really funny. Yeah.

• 15:26Fortune Feimster?

  Well, they've been divorced for thirty-two years and, uh, my mom loves to remind my dad every year of when they're, how many years they would have been married had they stayed together. So she said, we would have been married fifty-six years yesterday.

• 15:44Tig Notaro?

  Did they have a mutual departure?

• 15:46Fortune Feimster?

  Um.

• 15:47Tig Notaro?

  Maybe that's too personal.

• 15:48Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, what's too personal in the handsome pod? We've talked about everything.

• 15:52Mae Martin?

  I know, I know.

• 15:54Fortune Feimster?

  Um, yes and no. I don't think my mom would have wanted it. She would prefer to be married. She, uh, I don't think liked being divorced, but it just wasn't working anymore.

• 16:06Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 16:06Fortune Feimster?

  I don't remember them. They're good friends now and have been for a while, but they, I don't remember them liking each other during my, um, residency with the two of them.

• 16:17Mae Martin?

  That's hard. But do they hang out independently now? Like, would they hang out just the two of them?

• 16:22Fortune Feimster?

  Okay, occasionally, but it would be my dad and his wife and my mom, the three of them.

• 16:28Tig Notaro?

  And they all get along well?

• 16:29Fortune Feimster?

  Mm-hmm.

• 16:30Tig Notaro?

  And do they, does your dad live in the same town?

• 16:33Fortune Feimster?

  He does. He moved away for a couple of years, but he's back.

• 16:36Mae Martin?

  That's, that's pretty amazing that they don't have to, like, the worst thing about breakups is just, like, losing that part of your life and that, and those memories, like, someone to share those memories with. So it's so nice they can still have that. Yeah.

• 16:50Fortune Feimster?

  Well, we kind of forced them into it, like,

• 16:52Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 16:53Fortune Feimster?

  when I was tw- I was twelve when they split and then we were like, well, dad's coming to Christmas. Sorry. And she was like, what?

• 17:00Mae Martin?

  Oh.

• 17:02Tig Notaro?

  How funny to be introduced in that way of like, well, Tig's coming to Christmas. Sorry.

• 17:09Fortune Feimster?

  I think she did cry. She's like,

• 17:12Mae Martin?

  I don't know.

• 17:18Mae Martin?

  But you know what?

• 17:19Fortune Feimster?

  Is this bad?

• 17:20Mae Martin?

  No, that's so good because you force them to really be grownups and power through and like,

• 17:27Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 17:27Mae Martin?

  It's one day of the year, like to make it nice for you. That's really nice.

• 17:31Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, listen, they have their moments where the, some of that stuff rears its head and you're just like, really?

• 17:38Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 17:38Fortune Feimster?

  All these years later, come on. Uh, but then they're pretty good about putting that aside, especially when I'm, I'm in town because I live so far away.

• 17:47Mae Martin?

  Hmm.

• 17:48Fortune Feimster?

  So, yeah.

• 17:50Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 17:51Fortune Feimster?

  That's a little bit about my life.

• 17:53Tig Notaro?

  Okay. Well, my parents are dead.

• 17:57Mae Martin?

  Famously.

• 18:00Fortune Feimster?

  Famously.

• 18:03Fortune Feimster?

  Wow.

• 18:03Tig Notaro?

  I don't know if I mentioned that.

• 18:04Fortune Feimster?

  Started with a dead grandma, now we've ended up on the dead parents.

• 18:08Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 18:09Fortune Feimster?

  That was that dumb?

• 18:11Mae Martin?

  We're, we're covering a lot of bases. We've got divorced, we got dead and we got together and codependent.

• 18:19Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 18:20Tig Notaro?

  Wait, who's together and codependent?

• 18:22Mae Martin?

  Oh, my parents. Yeah.

• 18:23Tig Notaro?

  Oh, oh, they're codependent.

• 18:25Mae Martin?

  Well, if, if one of their friends repeats to them that they've heard this on the podcast, they'll be furious and outraged, but I would say codependent, not necessarily in a, you know, unhealthy way. It's just like, my dad's always worked from home and he had his own office, but now he's even moved a little desk down into my mom's sort of office. So they just spend the whole day sitting opposite each other at adjacent desks, as if they work in an office together. Then at 5:00 PM and, and all day they're talking, like every day, all day, about everything that's coming up on their computer screen. Then around 5:00 PM, they stop, they move to a third table that's in between the two desks and there

• 19:08Mae Martin?

  they play, they play Scrabble for about 90 minutes and they wa, they drink white wine. Then they have dinner and then, and then they watch TV together and then they go to bed.

• 19:17Tig Notaro?

  And do they always enjoy one another for the most part?

• 19:20Mae Martin?

  Absolutely not. Sometimes they're going through that whole day and they're fuming, but they'll still go through it. But they, they have, you know, friends and go on trips and stuff, but that's their main like day to day thing.

• 19:32Tig Notaro?

  So am I codependent? Like are Stephanie and I codependent? Cause I, that hasn't even crossed my mind as a possibility. I mean, we work together, we work separately.

• 19:45Mae Martin?

  I think codependency gets a bad rap. I think we're designed to need each other and that's okay. I think as long as, you know, it's, yeah, yeah, you got it. Yeah. The answer is yes.

• 19:57Fortune Feimster?

  There's like a touch of it, but I don't think y'all are like over the top.

• 20:01Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Like where it becomes bad is like, are you, if people are, if you're anxious when you're not with the person or you can't enjoy your life when you're not there, like, like you guys are solid. You just really enjoy each other's company.

• 20:13Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. I would say that we, yeah, enjoy being together. We miss each other when we're apart, but we have separate and similar friends. And we have our own interests and yeah.

• 20:25Fortune Feimster?

  I think as long as you like have some stuff for yourself here and there, that's a good balance. But like, you should want to hang out with your spouse or partner, whoever you're with.

• 20:36Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 20:37Fortune Feimster?

  For sure.

• 20:37Tig Notaro?

  All right. Well, that's interesting. I'm going to ask Stephanie if she thinks we're codependent.

• 20:41Fortune Feimster?

  I've been, I've been codependent before.

• 20:45Tig Notaro?

  Have you?

• 20:45Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 20:47Fortune Feimster?

  I sure have.

• 20:49Mae Martin?

  It happens pretty easy. You mean, yeah. Cause I guess codependent, like the connotation is that it's like insular and you kind of, are reclusive from your other relationships and your friends and you, it's like, yeah, like what is bad codependency? I guess it's that. It's like, I can't do anything without consulting my partner. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You've been, you've had that before?

• 21:10Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. Yeah. I mean, uh, I would say Jackson, I suppose.

• 21:15Fortune Feimster?

  Crap ton of time together.

• 21:18Mae Martin?

  And yeah.

• 21:18Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, so we had a bit of that for a while.

• 21:21Mae Martin?

  I guess the thing, the thing about that is like, you never then, you learn so much about your relationship from being apart a little bit, right? Like then you miss each other.

• 21:30Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, you gotta miss each other.

• 21:31Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 21:32Fortune Feimster?

  For sure.

• 21:33Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, it's kind of like that thing of it's good to feel hungry sometimes.

• 21:38Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 21:38Tig Notaro?

  You know?

• 21:39Mae Martin?

  Did I tell you guys I'm doing a, like a residential therapeutic program?

• 21:47Tig Notaro?

  You told us you had a life coach.

• 21:49Mae Martin?

  Oh yeah, no, I told you about the life coach.

• 21:50Tig Notaro?

  You told us you were going into the mountains and ordering a bunch of weights.

• 21:56Fortune Feimster?

  A synthesizer.

• 21:57Tig Notaro?

  And a synthesizer.

• 21:58Mae Martin?

  In a way, that was a residential therapeutic program.

• 22:01Fortune Feimster?

  Clear mascara.

• 22:02Tig Notaro?

  You, you, you, you put on your clear mascara, put your ankle weights on and just play that synthesizer.

• 22:11Mae Martin?

  So what is this? I, I, well, I wasn't going to talk about it on here, but then I heard Oprah did a podcast about this place. And so I was like, well, why don't I, it's like six days, it's called the Hoffman Institute and you go and. Have you heard of that? You have? Don't tell me if you've heard bad stuff.

• 22:29Fortune Feimster?

  I honestly don't remember what I heard about it.

• 22:33Mae Martin?

  Oh God.

• 22:33Fortune Feimster?

  Just that the name is familiar.

• 22:35Mae Martin?

  Yes. So it's like six days, they take your phone away and you, I, I mean, I don't know much about it. It's kind of mysterious, but people are like, it changed my life and it's like.

• 22:45Tig Notaro?

  And you're going to do it.

• 22:46Mae Martin?

  I'm doing it in October. Yeah. And it's, I've been on the, I was on the waiting list for like a year or, or something. And it's like, uh, I think it's.

• 22:54Fortune Feimster?

  A year waiting list, dang.

• 22:56Mae Martin?

  Yeah. And now Oprah did this podcast.

• 22:58Tig Notaro?

  It's getting very popular in the Hollywood circles.

• 23:01Fortune Feimster?

  I was thinking, yeah, I think that's where I heard about it.

• 23:04Mae Martin?

  Yeah. But anyway, I'm going and, uh, it's like group therapy and somatic therapy and I might be a different person after it. So we'll see.

• 23:11Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, that's amazing.

• 23:13Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm.

• 23:14Mae Martin?

  Can you imagine being without your phone for six days?

• 23:16Fortune Feimster?

  No.

• 23:17Mae Martin?

  I know, fortunately.

• 23:18Fortune Feimster?

  How are you gonna play best fiends?

• 23:20Mae Martin?

  I, I know. I'm gonna have to like draw the game.

• 23:24Fortune Feimster?

  But I think if you commit to something like that for your own, you know, growth, then you just know like, oh, for the six days, I'm just focusing on me.

• 23:34Mae Martin?

  Yeah, exactly. And like, my, my show will have just come out and I can just get off my phone for six days and like,

• 23:40Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, obviously we'll record the handsome pod while in between sessions.

• 23:45Mae Martin?

  I'll be recording it from group therapy. Yeah. I would love to do it from group therapy.

• 23:50Tig Notaro?

  Would you say that is, because I've heard you mention a few times, like, I gotta get off my phone, or that way I'll be able to get off my phone. Would you say that's your biggest kind of hurdle?

• 24:01Mae Martin?

  I don't think I'm on it more than most people. I just find, I just can feel this like invisible chain to it. Like I, and so then I'm in like, even though I might only be on it a few hours a day, it's like a shame spiral because I know on my deathbed, I'm going to be like, why was I on my phone? You know?

• 24:20Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm.

• 24:21Mae Martin?

  But I think it'll be good. And yeah, we'll see. I'm excited because it's like you're in a little group of about eight people and you go through the week together. I hope it's really weird. And they asked, you do this prep work, like homework. Actually, maybe you're not allowed to share this stuff, that you have to sign like an NDA.

• 24:40Tig Notaro?

  Oh, that's okay. Nobody listens to this show. What, what do you do now?

• 24:45Fortune Feimster?

  No, we don't want to get me in trouble.

• 24:48Mae Martin?

  What if there's a celeb in my group of eight people? Like, what if I get there?

• 24:52Tig Notaro?

  There already is. You're in it, huh? Okay.

• 24:56Mae Martin?

  What if like Matthew McConaughey's in it or something?

• 24:59Tig Notaro?

  If, if there's no celebrity, if there's no celebrity in your group, you're the celebrity.

• 25:05Fortune Feimster?

  Hey, man, I'd like to give you a little tip. Just keep living.

• 25:10Tig Notaro?

  Wait, is that Matthew or your dad?

• 25:13Mae Martin?

  Or the person making announcements over the PA in high school.

• 25:17Fortune Feimster?

  I've never, I can't do a Matthew McConaughey. All right, all right, all right.

• 25:23Mae Martin?

  I think I can do one.

• 25:24Tig Notaro?

  How sick of that do you think he is?

• 25:25Fortune Feimster?

  And he says it still all the time.

• 25:27Tig Notaro?

  Right. But how sick of it do you think he is? Like when a random person comes up and says that?

• 25:33Fortune Feimster?

  Well, he started it. He should have known that was going to happen.

• 25:36Tig Notaro?

  So nobody will say, yeah, Tig, he's probably really sick of it.

• 25:41Mae Martin?

  No. Tig, you know what? He's probably really sick of it.

• 25:45Tig Notaro?

  I love that it's, he started it.

• 25:46Fortune Feimster?

  He started it and he keeps doing it. So you're gonna do it back to him. JK.

• 25:51Tig Notaro?

  All right, all right, all right.

• 25:52Fortune Feimster?

  Just keep living, y'all.

• 25:54Tig Notaro?

  All right.

• 25:55Mae Martin?

  Did you almost say just kiss?

• 25:56Fortune Feimster?

  Just kiss Matthew McConaughey.

• 25:59Tig Notaro?

  Just kiss me.

• 26:00Fortune Feimster?

  Matthew McConaughey is a good looking man.

• 26:03Tig Notaro?

  All right, easy, easy dyka doodle doo.

• 26:07Fortune Feimster?

  The guy that I'm a full ass over here.

• 26:10Tig Notaro?

  Well, you don't look like it in Grandma's bedroom.

• 26:13Fortune Feimster?

  I am.

• 26:14Tig Notaro?

  No.

• 26:15Fortune Feimster?

  Gay as shit.

• 26:20Tig Notaro?

  Has anyone pushed back on you being gay?

• 26:23Fortune Feimster?

  No, everyone's fully accepted it.

• 26:25Tig Notaro?

  And you do walk through life with your headset on, right?

• 26:28Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yeah, this is a daily thing.

• 26:30Tig Notaro?

  Announcing that you're gay?

• 26:31Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 26:32Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 26:32Fortune Feimster?

  What's up, y'all? I'm a lesbian. They're like, we, no. All right, well, good. I'm glad that you guys knew that.

• 26:40Tig Notaro?

  Well, I, I don't know. I think I told you all about my new, um, my new identity as Trad Dyke.

• 26:46Mae Martin?

  Oh, yeah, I love that. Love Trad Dyke. How's that going for you?

• 26:50Tig Notaro?

  It's going well. Um, I think I'm gonna have some posters made and maybe a, um,

• 26:57Tig Notaro?

  you know that picture of me smoking and changing the

• 27:00Mae Martin?

  Yes.

• 27:01Tig Notaro?

  car tire? Yeah, I think that's my Trad Dyke poster.

• 27:04Mae Martin?

  I think that's perfect.

• 27:05Tig Notaro?

  And then I think I might start a, um, what a Substack called Trad Dyke.

• 27:10Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that sounds good. I don't know what a Substack is.

• 27:14Tig Notaro?

  It's for people write or pu- it's like something where there's a submission, like a, a subscription,

• 27:20Mae Martin?

  Okay, okay, okay.

• 27:23Tig Notaro?

  your top secret writings and thoughts and videos that you don't share elsewhere.

• 27:27Mae Martin?

  I just got an email that was like, happy 21st birthday to your, to your live journal. And I was, or like 20, or maybe it was like 25th birthday and I log on and it's

• 27:39Tig Notaro?

  Congrats.

• 27:39Mae Martin?

  It's a diary that I wrote online when I was 16 and it's still online. And thank God it doesn't

• 27:45Fortune Feimster?

  We gotta dig that up.

• 27:46Mae Martin?

  It doesn't have my name attached to it. It's got like a code name, but it is humiliating.

• 27:51Tig Notaro?

  Is it public?

• 27:53Mae Martin?

  Yes, it's public, but I actually

• 27:55Tig Notaro?

  Can you give us the link?

• 27:56Fortune Feimster?

  Next pod?

• 27:57Mae Martin?

  Next pod, maybe I'll-

• 27:58Fortune Feimster?

  You don't have to read it this pod, think about it for next pod.

• 28:02Mae Martin?

  And I gotta make sure it's hidden so that people don't go find it. I think it's under like a fake name, but uh-

• 28:08Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 28:08Tig Notaro?

  It's not Trad Dyke, is it?

• 28:10Mae Martin?

  It's Trad Dyke.

• 28:13Mae Martin?

  It's really embarrassing. It's like-

• 28:15Fortune Feimster?

  "Today I got stoned and the cops came to the park and they were swarming around me like wasps, man."

• 28:21Mae Martin?

  That's the one real quote.

• 28:24Mae Martin?

  Like, I thought that I was Bob Dylan.

• 28:27Tig Notaro?

  You threw in "man"?

• 28:28Mae Martin?

  I think I probably did, yeah. "Man" is so embarrassing. Like, who was it for?

• 28:34Tig Notaro?

  It was for you 21 years later. And by the way, what a big blowout of a party you should have. Your journal can now drink legally in the States.

• 28:45Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 28:46Tig Notaro?

  All right. Enough of this nonsense. Should we get to our question asker?

• 28:50Fortune Feimster?

  Let's do it, sugar tits.

• 28:57Tig Notaro?

  I'm calling HR.

• 28:59Mae Martin?

  Thomas? Is Thomas HR? Actually, who is HR?

• 29:05Tig Notaro?

  Thomas.

• 29:05Mae Martin?

  Yeah, Thomas.

• 29:06Tig Notaro?

  I'm telling Thomas that you called me sugar tits when you know my tits are in a dumpster in an alley in Hollywood.

• 29:15Fortune Feimster?

  As far as we know, they could be surrounded by sugar.

• 29:19Tig Notaro?

  No, they're surrounded by rodents that are fighting over them.

• 29:24Fortune Feimster?

  God.

• 29:34Fortune Feimster?

  You wanna do this, Tig?

• 29:36Tig Notaro?

  I mean, it's just really hard for me to read. Let me see if I can do it.

• 29:40Fortune Feimster?

  You want May to do it?

• 29:42Tig Notaro?

  I can give it a whirl.

• 29:45Tig Notaro?

  Okay. Today's question asker is an actress and-

• 29:52Mae Martin?

  I think someone else should do it.

• 29:54Fortune Feimster?

  I think May should do it. This is the worst intro ever.

• 29:57Tig Notaro?

  I thought that, I thought that, I thought it says podcaster and I was like, she's a podcaster? Okay, all right. So, May, you can take it from here, but we'll of course keep mine in. My eyesight is so terrible.

• 30:12Fortune Feimster?

  I got this, guys. No, no, no, I got this.

• 30:15Tig Notaro?

  I didn't say I got this. I said I would try-

• 30:17Fortune Feimster?

  Your eyes were closed.

• 30:18Tig Notaro?

  They basically are. I also have that shaggy eyelid, too. So I have a few things working against me. All right, May, hit it.

• 30:28Mae Martin?

  All right, today's question. Okay. Today's question asker is an actress.

• 30:36Mae Martin?

  You got that mallet ready?

• 30:37Tig Notaro?

  Yes.

• 30:38Mae Martin?

  Today's question asker is an actress and producer who starred in The King of Staten Island, as well as The Sex Lives of College Girls. She produced and starred in the movie What Doesn't Float? Pauline Chalamet is asking today's question.

• 30:50Speaker 04

  Yes. Hey, handsome. It's Pauline Chalamet. Here's my question. Um, what is an experience that you've had where in the moment you were really enjoying it and loving it and just it was great, or you just maybe didn't feel any particular way about it, but it was an experience that you were living? And then in retrospect, you realized, oh, I was in a lot more danger than I thought I was. Is that too specific of a question?

• 31:25Tig Notaro?

  No.

• 31:26Speaker 04

  I don't know. I think everybody must have an answer to that.

• 31:29Tig Notaro?

  I think we do. In fact, I had an answer and then it shifted quickly. But can I take a moment to tell you?

• 31:35Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 31:36Tig Notaro?

  How deeply I love Pauline Chalamet.

• 31:41Mae Martin?

  Oh, yeah? Really? Are you guys friends?

• 31:43Tig Notaro?

  You did Sex Lives of College Girls. I did Sex Lives of College Girls and I love her so. She is so fun to cackle with. We also, she was part of the group I went to DC with to lobby for the arts. And she's so, not only is she talented as an actress, but she is so smart. And like, she just blew everyone's minds in DC. The way she took charge when we went in to Congress and the White House and just her confidence and her knowledge and her point of view.

• 32:24Tig Notaro?

  I was like, what the, not that I met her and thought, you know, that she was a dipshit. But I was like, this is so.

• 32:35Fortune Feimster?

  I didn't think she was a dipshit.

• 32:37Mae Martin?

  A dipshit.

• 32:39Tig Notaro?

  But like, there were so many people with us. I mean, I was the dipshit in DC.

• 32:45Mae Martin?

  Cause yeah, I'm, I'm thinking if I went to DC, I would feel, I'd be like, even though I'd be happy to be there and excited, I'd feel like a kind of stoned teenager on a class trip. Like I'd want to giggle in the corner, you know?

• 32:56Tig Notaro?

  Well, and I felt like-

• 32:57Fortune Feimster?

  I would take a briefcase.

• 33:00Tig Notaro?

  You do everywhere with your headphones and your briefcase.

• 33:04Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 33:04Tig Notaro?

  But you know, I just was very aware that I don't have that knowledge. I've read, I read the, the, um, the important points that we were trying to get across and I understood what our mission was, but man, oh man. Uh, that's all. I just wanted to, to throw that in.

• 33:21Fortune Feimster?

  They seem like a pretty smart family. Her brother Timothy is fluent in French. Is she also fluent in French?

• 33:27Tig Notaro?

  Yes. Yeah. They grew up, um, yeah, partly in France. She lives also in France. Um, and here, but-

• 33:36Mae Martin?

  What's a smart question too. I, I think, yeah, it's a really, it's a good question. I hadn't thought of before.

• 33:41Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. You can't be like a dipshit and ask that question, right?

• 33:44Mae Martin?

  No, no dipshits are- Asking that question. No, dipshits are asking like hot dog or hamburger, you know?

• 33:50Tig Notaro?

  Exactly. Right.

• 33:52Fortune Feimster?

  Um, I, I will answer more specifically, but I feel like growing up in the eighties and nineties, then our entire childhood was one big like step from getting kidnapped.

• 34:07Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 34:07Fortune Feimster?

  Or like in danger. Cause just, there was just not as many rules.

• 34:14Tig Notaro?

  No.

• 34:15Fortune Feimster?

  You rode in the back of pickup trucks. At least where I was from, we would-

• 34:19Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 34:19Fortune Feimster?

  Walk on active railroad tracks constantly. We left our house at nine AM and didn't come back till six PM.

• 34:27Tig Notaro?

  Not just rode in the back of pickup trucks, but rode in the back of pickup trucks with a bottle of Barks root beer that I'm trying to drink while I'm going over bumps and holes in the road and-

• 34:40Fortune Feimster?

  No seatbelts, no sunscreen.

• 34:43Tig Notaro?

  That's what my family says to me whenever I'm like, you know, we'd just throw it in the back of the truck or we were all sitting in the back of the truck. And Stephanie, Max and Finn all now say to me, "Sorry, we weren't raised in Mississippi in the seventies."

• 34:58Mae Martin?

  That's really good. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, do you remember like- We survived half of it. Even in the 90s, like, do you remember Halloween? You would just go by yourself as a kid and you would be walking into strangers' homes who had made haunted houses and stuff. And yeah, everything's a little more sterilized now. I did not do that either. You never did that? Okay, really? I thought that was gonna-

• 35:20Tig Notaro?

  Are you sure there wasn't something in a pro creep that was going on?

• 35:24Mae Martin?

  That was a creep in your neighborhood.

• 35:25Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 35:26Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:27Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, you know how you'd go into that old gross guy's house?

• 35:30Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Part of the haunted house was you'd take a bath and then the- You had to, you had to feel his calves.

• 35:38Tig Notaro?

  His gams.

• 35:40Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 35:41Tig Notaro?

  I'll tell you, God, now all of a sudden I'm having a million thoughts. But this was from my adult life. I was on tour and I was with my old assistant and his dream was to swim with sharks. So we were in Florida and I said, oh, my friend Jeff lives here and he knows where to go and who to call for anything and everywhere, everything. And so we did and he was like, oh yeah, I know a guy that will take you out to swim with bull sharks, which are more aggressive than great white sharks.

• 36:20Mae Martin?

  What do you mean?

• 36:21Tig Notaro?

  I don't know how to simplify that more, May. They're more aggressive than great white sharks. They are the most aggressive bull sharks and they look just like great whites.

• 36:32Mae Martin?

  Who's wanting to do this? Who's wanting to swim with them? That's, well-

• 36:36Tig Notaro?

  My assistant.

• 36:36Mae Martin?

  Yeah, sorry, sorry.

• 36:37Tig Notaro?

  And guess who went in with him?

• 36:39Mae Martin?

  Oh my God. Why?

• 36:41Tig Notaro?

  Exactly. I, I, I, I don't, I don't know. I, I, anyway, no reason to be upset with me. I'm out of the water now.

• 36:50Mae Martin?

  I'm so upset.

• 36:51Tig Notaro?

  You know who was not thrilled? I called Stephanie and was like, oh my God, I just swam with bull sharks. I was not in a cage.

• 37:02Mae Martin?

  Oh my God.

• 37:03Tig Notaro?

  There was bloody, they, they threw bloody chum-

• 37:06Mae Martin?

  No.

• 37:06Tig Notaro?

  In the water.

• 37:07Mae Martin?

  Oh my God.

• 37:08Tig Notaro?

  No. And these, these sharks were-

• 37:12Tig Notaro?

  Massive.

• 37:13Fortune Feimster?

  That's crazy.

• 37:14Tig Notaro?

  And, and while I was dangling in the water, I was in there for 30 minutes.

• 37:18Fortune Feimster?

  No.

• 37:19Tig Notaro?

  And while I was dangling at one point, this one shark started just beelining towards me. And the guy that we were in the water with, he just grabbed the shark's nose and pushed him away. And the shark just, or yeah, shark just swam around.

• 37:36Fortune Feimster?

  Convenient.

• 37:37Tig Notaro?

  I was in there for 30 minutes and I was, and I have to say, I'm glad I did it. What I did learn is that if you, and maybe I've already shared this, but if you are in the ocean and a shark is nearby, do not splash, don't turn and swim away. You just float and you keep eye contact with the shark. And that's what I did in the water. I was just, I was just floating and, and keeping eye contact with the sharks. And I have an incredible picture that I'll share with you. And so now I feel like I would know, even though I'd be terrified if I was by myself in the ocean

• 38:20Tig Notaro?

  and a shark was coming towards me, I would know I need to not make any fast moves.

• 38:26Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, you would lock in. Wow. I think you could do that, but most people would panic. I would panic. I would just. Your first thought would be like, I gotta get out of here.

• 38:36Tig Notaro?

  I would panic if I hadn't done it before.

• 38:39Fortune Feimster?

  Right.

• 38:39Tig Notaro?

  It didn't come naturally to me. My, my friend and opening act jumped in the water. My assistant jumped in, the guy, the friend that connected us with this situation, he got in.

• 38:51Fortune Feimster?

  Was this like an independent company, like?

• 38:53Tig Notaro?

  Yes.

• 38:54Fortune Feimster?

  It was, right? This was like a guy you found on Craigslist.

• 38:58Tig Notaro?

  I mean, truly, it was an independent company and it was one of those things. Yeah. When I called Stephanie and I was like, oh my God, I just went swimming with sharks. She was like. Why did you do that?

• 39:08Mae Martin?

  Yeah, she's like, you have children.

• 39:10Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, she's like, you have a family. And I was like, oh, wrong number.

• 39:18Mae Martin?

  Who it is?

• 39:20Tig Notaro?

  Sorry. Okay, here is the picture of me with, um, do you see me dangling?

• 39:27Mae Martin?

  Holy shit, Tig.

• 39:29Tig Notaro?

  Do you see me dangling?

• 39:30Mae Martin?

  That is massive.

• 39:32Tig Notaro?

  I'm holding on to that rope above that's connected to the boat. So that was one of those things I knew it, I knew, obviously, anything could happen.

• 39:41Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 39:42Tig Notaro?

  But afterwards, as time went on, I was like, oh my God.

• 39:47Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 39:48Tig Notaro?

  What was I doing?

• 39:49Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Yeah, that's so, I mean, you faced, that's a lot of people's worst fears. That'd be one of, probably up there for me, swimming with sharks. And you faced it now and you know what to expect. Fortune, what about you?

• 39:59Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, I touched on it briefly in a pretty little episode where, you know, when I lived in Spain, I used to stay in hostels and chamber rooms with complete strangers and train cars. And that was nuts. And I'm so grateful nothing happened because I didn't know a single person I could have been with a, a serial killer.

• 40:20Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, probably were.

• 40:23Fortune Feimster?

  Maybe, I mean, I got in one room and it was just me and a dude and he was asleep.

• 40:28Tig Notaro?

  But he was probably like, I'm not gonna mess with that guy.

• 40:30Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 40:34Fortune Feimster?

  But one thing that stood out as like something really stupid that I did, not thinking it was a big deal, was, uh, when I was in college, I went to Mexico on, uh, two different summers to study the Mayan ruins. And, uh, I can't remember if I told you guys this, but, um, we went-

• 40:53Tig Notaro?

  I remember you going there.

• 40:55Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, so we went to Chichen Itza, which is a Mayan temple that was built, obviously, by the Mayans. Really cool, um, place. It has 91 steps up each side. It represents 365 days of the year, which, can you believe it? Like, that's crazy that they were that advanced.

• 41:15Tig Notaro?

  So advanced.

• 41:17Fortune Feimster?

  And my friend.

• 41:19Mae Martin?

  Is that that advanced to just know how many days of the year there?

• 41:22Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know. This is back before there were calendars.

• 41:25Mae Martin?

  Yeah, no, you're right. Yeah, yeah, okay.

• 41:27Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, so they like. Before cell phones? They figured, because we, it's all based on their stuff, right? Our current.

• 41:34Mae Martin?

  Right, yeah, yeah.

• 41:36Fortune Feimster?

  Stuff is based on their assessments.

• 41:39Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 41:39Fortune Feimster?

  Um, and so, uh, my friend of mine was like, I'll race you to the top. And I was like, yeah, sure, why not? I've got gams, you guys have seen them. Yeah. They're, they're gorgeous. Absolutely. Run to the ninety-one steps, no problem. Now, it's summer in Mexico. It's like a hundred and five degrees. It's not cold. And I start running up this pyramid. And ninety-one steps and. Okay, gay. Uh, and as hard as I can, because I'm competing for nothing, but I'm competing against my friend.

• 42:22Fortune Feimster?

  And I get to the top and, and it, it starts wide and it gets really narrow as you go up. And I get to the top and I'm like, huh, suck it, I did it. And then immediately, my face turns blue. And my, my lips turn blue. And I start like, I'm like on a very narrow ledge and I start like kind of going back and forth like, like this. And I have no water. And my friend luckily is up there already and sees me and she's like, uh, are you okay? And I'm like, I can't talk. And she just grabs water from like a complete stranger. And I just start sucking down water.

• 43:06Fortune Feimster?

  And I mean, I came so close to just passing out off this pyramid. Pyramid. What a way to go, though. Oh, my god, though, cra- and like, I got, I, I like finally get like.

• 43:21Fortune Feimster?

  Back regulated and the, the life comes back into my face. Like I just sit there for like 20 minutes. And I finally make my way back down and my professor came up to me and she said, "Don't you ever do that again." She said that I could have had a heart attack. She goes, "You uh," she said, "It is so wildly dangerous to run uh that fast in this heat to that altitude. People can, can and have often just like hearts given out." And she was like, "I about died seeing you do that." And I was like, "What?"

• 43:59Tig Notaro?

  She's like, "Use your gams for good."

• 44:02Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, so what a stupid, stupid thing that I didn't think was a big deal at all. And I could have freaking either fallen off the pyramid or had a heart attack. It was so wildly dumb.

• 44:14Tig Notaro?

  I still stand by, what a way to go. If you fell off a pyramid, I'm picturing like when you have a, like I picture people having a baby and then being like, "How is my child ultimately gonna die?" Like if, if everyone learned right in that moment.

• 44:35Mae Martin?

  Oh, that's an interesting thought experiment.

• 44:37Tig Notaro?

  She's, she's going to fall off of a pyramid.

• 44:40Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, by the way.

• 44:42Tig Notaro?

  A Mayan pyramid.

• 44:43Fortune Feimster?

  For all you math nerds out there that are like 91 steps is 364. The top platform is the final step.

• 44:53Fortune Feimster?

  Ergo, 365.

• 44:55Tig Notaro?

  I'm glad you lived through it. Well, me too.

• 44:58Mae Martin?

  That is really scary. That when you get, when you're, like your hands get all tingly and you feel like you're gonna pass out. That is such a scary feeling.

• 45:07Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. So that was a, a very dangerous thing I did.

• 45:11Mae Martin?

  I'm, I'm just like amazed that I'm still alive, really. Like there's just so many weird situations with like drug dealers and criminality in my teens and like, I, I think I'm street smart. Like I think I, I would have a, I walked a line where I would have a gut feeling about people, but I definitely, oh my God, like.

• 45:33Fortune Feimster?

  Same.

• 45:33Mae Martin?

  Yeah, just so many strange, strange people and in cars and parks and yeah, I did. Well, because I kind of thought I was out of that, of that phase of being too like receptive to strangers. Because in your teens, you're like in parks buying weed from people named like Merlin and they have a pet Iguana and you're like, this guy's my best friend. And you're like, sitting in the park for an hour, talking to this guy and you're talking about like quantum theory and you're like, yeah, man. So I thought I was out of that. But I did, and I'm not sure about telling this story in case this person listens to the podcast, but I don't think that he will. But I did, I got an Uber. Have I told this?

• 46:17Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know. You've gotten a lot of Ubers.

• 46:19Mae Martin?

  All we've done, all we've gotten so far from this story is that you got in an Uber. Yes, sorry. Yeah.

• 46:25Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, it's hard to like.

• 46:27Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Which by the way, seems like a very safe thing to do. That's kind of nuts, too. I know, that is nuts. We're just getting in cars with strangers all the time. Getting in cars with strangers. We don't know anyone. So I get in the Uber and this guy's like, he's sort of like a Viking. He's like six foot five or something. He's got this long blonde luscious hair like a, like a woman's almost, blow dried. Yeah. And, and we hit it off right away. We're chatting like, and, and he's, he's asked me about what I do and I tell him about my show coming out and he's like, oh, I was sent to a troubled teen institute. And he's like, oh my God, like, what are the chances of this? He's like, I used to be an opium dealer and, and he's telling, he's like, you got to write

• 47:10Mae Martin?

  about my life. Like, that's what, and I'm like, tell me everything. And telling him about my breakup and stuff. And anyway, he, we, we get to my house and then he just so confidently goes, okay, give me your phone. I'm gonna, I'll text you right now. And, and he just does it like there's no question that I'm, we're going to exchange numbers and start texting. And I do have a lot of people in my life who I've ended up texting on, you know, so I give him my number and, and, and then the texts are like a little strange that I'm getting. Like the next day, he says, can you? Are they flirty? No, it's more like we are soulmates. Like, I like friends, soulmates. Like, we are destined

• 47:50Mae Martin?

  to be friends. And he, so he writes me this, the next day, he goes, hey, can I get a physical printout of one of your scripts?

• 48:00Mae Martin?

  Like, what? How long ago was this? This is about six months ago. And so, so I don't, we end up, I don't really respond to him. And then, I guess, six weeks goes by and I'm getting a massage. And I book an Uber. Pops up. Yeah, I booked my Uber after the massage and it pulls up and it's him. It's, it's the guy. So I get in, I go. I wanted him to show up in the massage. He's the masseuse? Yeah. No, so I, I go like. That is weird. I've never gotten the same Uber driver before. Oh, I have a lot because I Uber so much, but. Right. I'm, I'm like, oh my God, man. Hey. And he goes, oh my God. He's like, do you know the statistical improbability that you would get in my Uber?

• 48:44Mae Martin?

  I'm like, yeah, it's pretty crazy. And he goes, no, man. You, this is insane. And he starts doing the math of the probability. And he's talking out loud. He's like, okay, population of LA. He lands on one in 2.8 billion, which cannot be correct. That can't be right. No, there's only a certain number of Uber drivers in that. Yeah. But he's like, it is one in 2.8 billion. I'm like, okay. And.

• 49:08Tig Notaro?

  And this is coming from somebody who knows absolutely nothing about math.

• 49:12Mae Martin?

  Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Oh, he would. Yeah. And then he's like, how's the breakup and stuff? And then I'm like, then I'm embarrassed because I'm like, oh, I obviously really shared with this guy. And I don't really remember what I said, but he knows everything. Anyway, then we were talking, you know, he knows the drummer from Tool. Like, that's pretty cool. We get to my house and he does.

• 49:36Mae Martin?

  That's pretty cool. We get to my house and he does the same thing. He goes, okay, I can only stay for five minutes, but I'll come in. Yeah. Oh, he came into your house? Wait, did he come in the last time too? No. Okay. He got my number, but I find myself. I would never let a stranger like that into my house. I know. Well, this is why I was reluctant to tell the story because I feel like listeners are going to be like, this is psychotic. It's 11:00 PM on a Monday. You just got a massage and now this Uber driver. But I'm telling you, I hadn't. Is he attractive? Like where you're kind of like, hmm, I kind of want to toy with this? No, I don't think that was the vibe. I was, we were like really connecting though.

• 50:18Mae Martin?

  And I got a vibe that this was a safe sitch, but I don't, I don't know. Anyway. So he did come in? Yeah. For how long? So he goes, I'll come in for five minutes and. And he brings-

• 50:30Tig Notaro?

  You're like, "Time starts now."

• 50:33Mae Martin?

  Yeah, and as I'm walking in and I'm unlocking my door, I'm like, "What am I doing?" When he gets out of the car, I see how tall he is as well, right? So I go, "Oh, my roommate's here." You know, I pretend I have a roommate and I go, "Sorry, you know, and he's sleeping, so I should probably..." But anyway, he comes in, we're chatting, and he goes, "Can I say something?" I'm like, "Yeah," he goes, "You are 50% men, 50% woman." I'm like, "Thanks, man, thanks, that's so cool." And I go, "Well, I am actually..." I use "they/them" pronouns, because he's been saying "she" the whole time, I just haven't bothered to... I go, "Yeah, well, I actually, I use 'they/them.'" He goes, "No, I don't pay attention to that stuff. I just say what I see, and I see you are 50% men." And I'm like, "Cool, thanks, dude." And then he goes, "Bring it in."

• 51:19Mae Martin?

  And now I'm hugging him. Anyway, so I go-

• 51:21Tig Notaro?

  Oh, wow.

• 51:21Mae Martin?

  I end up going, "Okay, I gotta go to bed anyway." And so he is walking out, and we're walking... I'm walking him to the gate to lock it behind him. He's... But he's a nice... Listen, if he is listening, you are a nice, kind man.

• 51:36Tig Notaro?

  You are a nice guy, and we appreciate the handsome follow.

• 51:40Mae Martin?

  It is just crazy for-

• 51:42Tig Notaro?

  Lose my number!

• 51:43Mae Martin?

  -to invite a stranger into their home, but then-

• 51:46Tig Notaro?

  That is very forward, for sure.

• 51:48Mae Martin?

  It's crazy.

• 51:50Tig Notaro?

  Well, it's also 11 o'clock at night, as a man, you should know, like, maybe it's... Regardless of your pronouns, like, it's just like... Anyway.

• 52:01Mae Martin?

  And I mean, he wanted to like, collaborate on the script and stuff. Anyway, so then, as he's walking out, and I'm like, "Okay." I'm like, "This is actually fun." He suddenly stops, and he's just standing with his... He's like, facing the gate, like that, with his back to me, and I'm like, "Uh-oh."

• 52:19Tig Notaro?

  Oh, no.

• 52:20Mae Martin?

  Then he turns around, and his eyes are closed, and he starts going- Though the word is the nerve, though it travels through my veins, through the universe, to God is my name. He starts freestyle. No poetry.

• 52:31Fortune Feimster?

  He can't be a spoken word poet.

• 52:34Mae Martin?

  He is. And he does this kind of amazing, like, three-minute-long, like, it's the length of an Eminem song. It's verse after verse of that he's written.

• 52:44Tig Notaro?

  It wasn't freestyle.

• 52:46Mae Martin?

  No, it wasn't freestyle. He's done it before, yeah. He's like, I just came up with this.

• 52:51Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I got news for you.

• 52:53Mae Martin?

  And he finishes.

• 52:54Fortune Feimster?

  What did you do? You just looked at him while he?

• 52:57Tig Notaro?

  Did you join in, start going, I know what you're saying. Here's the word, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah?

• 53:01Fortune Feimster?

  Would you call it spoken word or rapping?

• 53:04Mae Martin?

  It was more spoken word. His eyes were closed. And then, so, I just went, whoa, that was amazing. Did you write that? He's like, I wrote that in high school. I'm like, wow. And then he left. And then we texted a little bit after that. But I did, I mean, and I know the response is gonna be, listen, I sometimes go on the handsome Reddit page. People are concerned already about my mental health and safety. Yeah, I'm fine. I just was like, I tapped into some teen version of myself that just says yes to everything and is like, interested in random people. And then I did afterwards, I was like, like, the more friends I told who were like, what are you doing? I was, I thought, okay.

• 53:45Fortune Feimster?

  That definitely was very dangerous.

• 53:47Mae Martin?

  Yeah, but he was super nice. But I will not say that again for the record.

• 53:51Fortune Feimster?

  Next time, just be like, oh, I gotta get up super early. I can't.

• 53:54Mae Martin?

  Of course.

• 53:55Fortune Feimster?

  Or say, be like, my roommate doesn't like guests.

• 53:59Tig Notaro?

  Just be like, no, you're not coming in my house.

• 54:02Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 54:02Fortune Feimster?

  That's what Tig would say. I would come up with something polite.

• 54:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 54:08Tig Notaro?

  But then it leaves the door open for him to wanna come in the next time.

• 54:12Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 54:14Tig Notaro?

  You know, I was out with Alison Dunbar, our mutual friend, probably a couple of years.

• 54:20Fortune Feimster?

  She just called me. How funny.

• 54:22Tig Notaro?

  Tell her hello.

• 54:23Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I was on this podcast while that happened.

• 54:26Mae Martin?

  Oh, she called during the podcast?

• 54:27Fortune Feimster?

  During the podcast.

• 54:28Tig Notaro?

  Oh, okay.

• 54:29Mae Martin?

  No way.

• 54:30Tig Notaro?

  We were out, there was a, there was a, it was like a group at dinner. And this guy that was with Alison and Ron's group.

• 54:42Tig Notaro?

  Grown man, probably mid sixties, was zeroed in on me, telling me he was getting a vibe that we were soulmates.

• 54:54Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 54:55Fortune Feimster?

  Wow.

• 54:56Tig Notaro?

  What do you mean, yeah?

• 55:01Tig Notaro?

  What, from their world? Somebody from their world? Yeah, I'm sitting there with my wife and gayer than the day is long and this, and I'm like, what do you, like, I don't, he was like, can I get your number? I just feel like there's something here.

• 55:17Mae Martin?

  He must have like, seen your work, he feels like he knows you and he's just like, this is my...

• 55:22Tig Notaro?

  I didn't get the vibe. He was familiar with me at all.

• 55:25Mae Martin?

  Really?

• 55:26Tig Notaro?

  He was just, yeah.

• 55:27Fortune Feimster?

  He was just feeling that energy, baby.

• 55:29Tig Notaro?

  And I wasn't. And I, I didn't know what to do and, but I mentioned it to Allison a while after. I was like, um, pardon me, but...

• 55:40Fortune Feimster?

  Did she know this guy well?

• 55:42Tig Notaro?

  She was just like, oh my gosh. She was like, that's Ron's, he's, he's, he's nut. You know what I mean? That kind of like Allison response.

• 55:50Mae Martin?

  See if he had, if that had happened to me, I would have been like, yep, here's my number and let's get to the bottom of what this uncanny connection is.

• 55:58Fortune Feimster?

  About friend soulmates is interesting.

• 56:01Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 56:02Tig Notaro?

  I've definitely had friend soulmates.

• 56:05Fortune Feimster?

  Uh huh.

• 56:06Tig Notaro?

  You know?

• 56:07Fortune Feimster?

  You don't have to talk about our friendship.

• 56:10Tig Notaro?

  But I didn't, I didn't get the vibe, one-sided and zero in.

• 56:15Fortune Feimster?

  Right.

• 56:15Tig Notaro?

  On somebody and like, try to get their number. Like, it was a mutual thing where we're, I don't know, it was just such a bizarre thing to be out with my wife and have this. It, it seemed like he was, had fallen in love with me at first sight.

• 56:30Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, wow.

• 56:31Tig Notaro?

  You know?

• 56:32Mae Martin?

  I wonder how, if he, if that's something that he feels often, like, or if this was truly the one time in his life.

• 56:40Fortune Feimster?

  He still thinks about you, girl.

• 56:43Fortune Feimster?

  He's like, that Tig.

• 56:45Tig Notaro?

  Should we hear what?

• 56:46Fortune Feimster?

  Think about them Tig old biddies.

• 56:49Tig Notaro?

  What did I tell you?

• 56:53Fortune Feimster?

  Let's, yeah, let's hear Pauline's answer.

• 56:56Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 56:57Speaker 04

  An answer to that question is that when I was in my early twenties or late teens, I was hitchhiking across Turkey.

• 57:09Tig Notaro?

  Hmm.

• 57:10Speaker 04

  Uh, and I, I felt totally fine doing it. And that was actually not the dangerous part at all. That was a really lovely experience. The dangerous part was that I got to Kappadokia, which is a region in the eastern side of Turkey, and I went hiking on these really long hikes every day. And, um, then would come back to the hostel. And only once I left, did I realize that I would go out every day without any water, with no cellphone, and no map, just an idea in my head of where I had come from and where I was going back. Uh, so, once I left Turkey, I was like, oh, that wasn't, that was, I was putting myself in grave danger.

• 57:54Speaker 04

  But in the moment, I thought, you know, I'm just going on a hike.

• 57:57Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 57:59Speaker 04

  I don't know what that says. But that's my question. And I hope that you have a lovely day.

• 58:05Tig Notaro?

  Aww.

• 58:06Mae Martin?

  Thank you, Pauline.

• 58:08Fortune Feimster?

  A guy in Greece this last summer, I think, yeah, last summer died. He was like with his wife at the beach, and he decided that he was gonna walk back to their hotel. He didn't have water or anything, uh, or cellphone, and he got lost. And it was like crazy hot, and he like passed out and died on a hill.

• 58:27Tig Notaro?

  Good lord.

• 58:28Fortune Feimster?

  And that wasn't even a hike.

• 58:29Tig Notaro?

  I feel like such an annoying parent because I am so on Max and Finn about hydrating. I'm just like, guys, come in, have some wat-, did you have water, guys? Make sure you have some water. But I'm just like, ugh, I'm so annoying.

• 58:45Mae Martin?

  Because kids won't drink, they'll forget, and they won't drink. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 58:50Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 58:50Mae Martin?

  Um, I like the way she delivered, no water, no phone, no map, just an idea in my head.

• 58:57Tig Notaro?

  What did I tell you? Nothing better than Pauline Chalamet, okay? Thank you for your question and your answer, Pauline. That was a fun episode, I have to say.

• 59:08Mae Martin?

  Yeah. It was one of those ones I'm gonna be worried about what I've said, but I really enjoyed it. As always, it's a real pleasure to be with you two.

• 59:17Tig Notaro?

  Don't you worry yourself, little cowboy.

• 59:20Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, cowboy.

• 59:23Mae Martin?

  What do you got coming up, Tig?

• 59:26Tig Notaro?

  I am going to be in Biloxi, Mississippi. This is me heading home, doing some comedy in my home state of Mississippi. I'm also gonna be in Salt Lake City, Utah, on October 11th. And all of my show and ticket information is tignotaro.com. I'm doing local Los Angeles shows with new material. Oh, and also make a note, November 14th, Apple TV, the documentary about the brilliant Andrea Gibson and Andrea's wife, Meg Faley, come see me in the good light, November 14th on Apple TV.

• 1:00:10Mae Martin?

  I have, well, Wayward's coming out in two days on Netflix, so please, stream it.

• 1:00:17Fortune Feimster?

  I gotta watch it, yes.

• 1:00:19Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I'm really pumped. And let me know what you think, or not if you don't like it. But also, I, my Etsy store where I'm selling these animal paintings is launched, 100% of the profits are going to Doctors Without Borders, such an amazing charity. They go in, they're in 70 countries in the world. They go into crisis situations and deliver amazing lifesaving medical care. They're doing incredible work in Gaza and Sudan. So, yeah, check out, if you search animal art by May on Etsy, and grab your weird little, your weird little merch.

• 1:00:57Fortune Feimster?

  Awesome. That's amazing, bud.

• 1:01:00Mae Martin?

  Thanks.

• 1:01:00Fortune Feimster?

  So I've had to reschedule a bunch of stand-up dates, so I apologize to any handsome listener affected by that. We have found rescheduled dates for all of those. It's because I'm filming this new Netflix TV series, and I hate to reschedule, but I just was part of the, doing this gig.

• 1:01:19Tig Notaro?

  It happens.

• 1:01:20Fortune Feimster?

  It happens, so. We'll definitely have those dates coming, but I, all the Saturday shows for sure happening, like DC, Boston, Atlanta, Chicago, San Jose, and then all the Florida shows as well as Vancouver and Seattle. So yeah, get your tickets.

• 1:01:43Tig Notaro?

  If you're new to the podcast, subscribe. Even if you're old to the podcast, subscribe. That is the best way to keep this show going. Subscribe to the audio version as well as the YouTube version of the show and also rate and review us.

• 1:02:00Fortune Feimster?

  And check out our merch. We got, speaking of merch, we have some amazing stuff on handsomepod.com.

• 1:02:06Tig Notaro?

  Also share an episode. If you liked this episode, think of a couple of people to share it with and be like, hey, come join the handsome community. And it's very handsome. And until next time.

• 1:02:20Mae Martin?

  Keep it handsome.

• 1:02:24Fortune Feimster?

  Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at [email protected] and please follow us on social media at HandsomePod.

• 1:02:40Fortune Feimster?

  What a podcast.

• 1:02:46Fortune Feimster?

  That was a HeadGum Podcast.

• 1:02:49Speaker 05

  What's going on? It's Lamorne Morris.

• 1:02:50Speaker 06

  And Hannah Simone.

• 1:02:52Speaker 05

  And we host The Mess Around, a New Girl rewatch podcast on HeadGum. Now, here's the thing. Every single week, we chat about an episode of New Girl and we really get into it. Like, we get up in there. We get up in there. You know, we reminisce about our times on set. We share behind the scenes tea. We react to rewatching episodes that we haven't seen in years. We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog.

• 1:03:13Speaker 06

  That's not true. We talk about so many memories we have of working with the biggest stars on the planet. I'm talking Prince, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo.

• 1:03:26Speaker 05

  We're just two BFFs having a good old time, okay? Sometimes we even talk to other co-stars like Zooey Deschanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Wayans Jr. And your dad. We talk to your dad on this show as well.

• 1:03:37Speaker 06

  Make sure you subscribe to The Mess Around wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every single Tuesday.