#2573 - Legion of Skanks

Big Jay Oakerson, Luis J. Gomez, and Steve Rannazzisi are comedians and hosts of the "Legion of Skanks" podcast. Big Jay and Luis also co-host the "Story Warz" podcast. Big Jay co-hosts "The Bonfire" on SiriusXM, while Luis co-hosts "Real Ass Podcast" and "The Regz." Steve co-hosts "What's the Odds." All three are currently on tour.www.youtube.com/@bigjayoakersonwww.siriusxm.com/blog/laugh-around-the-bonfire-on-faction-talklink.me/bigjayoakersonwww.bigjaycomedy.comwww.youtube.com/@TheRegzShowwww.youtube.com/@LuisJGomezComedygasdigital.com/RAPwww.luisofskanks.comwww.youtube.com/@srazz23www.steverannazzisi.com Perplexity: Download the app or ask Perplexity anything at https://pplx.ai/rogan. Try ZipRecruiter FOR FREE at https://ziprecruiter.com/rogan Use code ROGAN at https://BlueChew.com to get 10% OFF + Free Overnight Shipping on your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  The Joe Rogan Experience.

• 0:05Joe Rogan?

  Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.

• 0:12Speaker 02

  Pretty balls moved to do dressing out of someone's ass and have that workout for you night after night.

• 0:17Joe Rogan?

  Bob Levy did that for 20 years.

• 0:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, and I don't think it ever failed. I never think it had a night where it was like, ah dude, well, keep the dressing sealed. No one said yes.

• 0:25Joe Rogan?

  How many times did that guy get pink eye?

• 0:27Speaker 02

  He must have.

• 0:28Joe Rogan?

  It must be off the charts. He must be like the number one pink eye patient.

• 0:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, when he wrote, when he wrote the joke, it was definitely, it's like when a guy becomes a gynecologist, he assumes like, well, it's all gonna be hot chicks coming to show me their pussies. And then he has to end up doing it to like, fat Philly women as they come on stage.

• 0:44Joe Rogan?

  A guy who does that, like if that's what you're doing all the time, you're working on vaginas, like, that's like a cop who's like constantly pulling over people who are lying to them. You just assume everybody's fucked up because you're only dealing with like mostly broken people.

• 0:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 0:59Joe Rogan?

  People breaking the law. You're only dealing with broken pussies.

• 1:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, the ones that are, yeah, they're not, the perfect ones aren't in there. They're not like, hey, does this still look perfect?

• 1:07Joe Rogan?

  By the time someone's going to a pussy doc, especially a male pussy doctor, which is really odd, is really odd. All the different things that you could choose to work on, the brain, the eyes, you're like, eh, vagina.

• 1:19Speaker 02

  If you would have asked me when I was 13, that would have been my dream job.

• 1:21Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:22Speaker 02

  Pussy doctor?

• 1:23Joe Rogan?

  You thought so.

• 1:24Speaker 02

  And then you thought, you're like, well, all these porn stars must have to go to a doctor. I'll be that guy.

• 1:28Joe Rogan?

  I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna.

• 1:29Speaker 02

  For all these hot chicks.

• 1:30Speaker 04

  I'm not going to pussy doctor school for eight years. That's crazy.

• 1:32Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. There's gotta be some of them that are, well, a lot of, a lot of doctors get into drugs. They, because they can prescribe them. And they prescribe them to each other. Like, like, I have a doctor friend and he's always on something. He's always doing something. He's always taking things. Like, I need this for that. I need this for that. Like, they just take a pill. Like, there's a lot of them. There's a book called Dead Doctors Don't Lie by Joel Wallach. Interesting book. But what, it's mostly about like nutritional supplements and how really nutrition is the foundation of health, not going to the doctor, and that most of these doctors are really out of their fucking head. And he was just talking, all these different stories in the book about different doctors that die of overdoses in the middle of a fucking operation, like.

• 2:15Speaker 04

  Well, that's the number one cause of death, or like, one of the top causes of death is malpractice by doctors. They, like hospitals are regularly fucking up.

• 2:23Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they fuck up. Malpractice or something happens during an operation is like the third leading cause of death.

• 2:28Speaker 02

  Yeah. It's the words he goes, alright, we're gonna cut that tumor out. What after I get these spiders out from under my skin?

• 2:33Joe Rogan?

  Bro.

• 2:34Speaker 02

  I'll be right back. I have to go scratch for a little bit.

• 2:36Speaker 03

  Get away.

• 2:37Joe Rogan?

  A friend of mine, his wife went to the doctor because she had to get a kidney removed, and they removed the wrong kidney.

• 2:41Speaker 03

  What?

• 2:43Joe Rogan?

  They removed the good one.

• 2:44Speaker 03

  Oh, and then finished it with like, you're good to go? And then you figured out?

• 2:48Joe Rogan?

  They figured it out afterwards. And he, you know, there's a lawsuit, the whole thing, you know, he won't.

• 2:53Speaker 03

  What the fuck?

• 2:54Speaker 02

  When they pulled it out, do you think they were like, looks good?

• 2:55Joe Rogan?

  Bro, I've heard people getting the wrong leg amputated. Like, there's a lot of.

• 3:00Speaker 03

  What's the review process like on that? When they sit everyone down, like, what went wrong here? It's like, honestly, everyone did everything right, except for the fucking guy who got the wrong fucking kidney.

• 3:09Joe Rogan?

  It's like everything else, man. There's guys who are shitty drivers, but they still have a license. You know, there's guys who are terrible.

• 3:15Speaker 02

  That's true.

• 3:17Joe Rogan?

  Terrible carpenters. You hard, hire them to build your house, and you go over the work, like, what the fuck is this?

• 3:22Speaker 02

  I think a lot of work like that is, it's just people always that are willing to do it. Whether they're good or not, doesn't matter.

• 3:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're, they're the ones.

• 3:30Speaker 02

  Just being the willing to do it. Like, I'm not a willing to do it guy, because I go, well, I'll do it bad. But a lot of people are just like, I'll figure it out.

• 3:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, there's also just some shithead who was like, alright, I'm gonna make it through law school. And then that's that. Like, I could have gone to law school technically and.

• 3:44Speaker 02

  No, you can do that.

• 3:45Speaker 04

  Become a lawyer or go to the medical school.

• 3:47Speaker 02

  They make like movies about this. There's like Bahamas schools you can go to that like.

• 3:51Joe Rogan?

  Really?

• 3:52Speaker 02

  It takes nothing, anybody can get in. Yeah, and if you know, if you, if you graduate with Cs, you're a fucking doctor.

• 3:58Speaker 03

  Like, if you go to medical school in Mexico, can't you just take a test and then come over here and be a doctor here?

• 4:03Joe Rogan?

  No, no, no.

• 4:04Speaker 02

  Then why does everybody always say the cab drivers are doctors?

• 4:06Joe Rogan?

  Well, there's a difference between driving cars, and like, that's a big problem with commercial vehicles. They just give illegals commercial vehicle operations. And these motherfuckers don't know how to drive these trucks at all. And some of these huge accidents that we've seen over the last few years. It turns out that a lot of them are illegal.

• 4:21Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 4:22Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they just get, but if you're a doctor, and you're a doctor, say, in India, and you go over to America, you have to go through a whole lengthy procedure to get licensed in America.

• 4:31Speaker 02

  That's always like the joke of it. It was like your cab driver is like, well, I was a.

• 4:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:35Speaker 02

  Spinal surgeon back where I'm from.

• 4:36Speaker 03

  In Russia.

• 4:37Speaker 02

  Now I smell like this.

• 4:38Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 4:39Speaker 04

  You guys know that, that story about the, the one guy who, uh, there was, uh, I guess his kid, his, like adult kid, but his kid was like in a coma, and they were gonna like take him off life support. And then the dad was like, no, I can, I can tell that he's still, there's something left there. He's not gonna die. And then he brought a gun, and he had like a, like a two day standoff with like the police.

• 5:00Joe Rogan?

  Oh, Jesus Christ.

• 5:01Speaker 04

  And then his kid came out of the coma, and the kid survived. He went to jail for like a year, but he saved his kid's life.

• 5:05Joe Rogan?

  Holy fuck.

• 5:06Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 5:07Speaker 02

  Have you seen the phenomenon, everyone keeps reminding me, I forgot about the Anne Heche, when they were taking her out, like her dead body, basically, and it popped up and sat up, and they shove her back down, and put her in the.

• 5:17Speaker 04

  It was like a big conspiracy.

• 5:19Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but she might have been dying. I mean, she was in a horrible car accident where she ran into a house on drugs.

• 5:25Speaker 02

  But they, she was like in a body bag, and they pushed her back down.

• 5:28Joe Rogan?

  Was she in a body bag?

• 5:29Speaker 02

  Yeah. Uh, I think she like comes out of it. I think it's like unzipped.

• 5:30Joe Rogan?

  Really?

• 5:31Speaker 03

  What? She's popped back up?

• 5:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, she like the undertaker.

• 5:34Speaker 02

  But apparently, there's phenomenon of that happening. Like, there's video you can see in morgues, like, things happen in the body where a dead person's like, you know, like their arm will completely go up. And so they just like stiffen in a weird way.

• 5:44Joe Rogan?

  Well, there's been people that they brought to the morgue that came back to life.

• 5:47Speaker 02

  That's crazy, I know.

• 5:48Joe Rogan?

  That they thought were dead and weren't dead. They just had such a low heartbeat that they just assumed they're dead. Uh, some people just get to the door and don't go through and pop back out. But there's another problem. The problem is organ donors. You know, um, in order for you to donate your organ, you have to actually be alive. So, the way they donate organs is like, if you die in a car accident, and then they weren't gonna go to the hospital, he's been dead for two hours, they're not donating, donating any organs.

• 6:17Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 6:18Joe Rogan?

  You have to be alive.

• 6:19Speaker 04

  Oh, I thought that was the whole thing. Was like, they could take my dead organs.

• 6:21Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that's what you think.

• 6:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:23Joe Rogan?

  And so this is the problem. Is if they want those organs, and they're pretty sure you're gonna die, and you're not gonna make it.

• 6:29Speaker 04

  They take them out of you while you're alive.

• 6:30Joe Rogan?

  The question is, who makes the call? And there have been times where people said, no, you're not gonna do this. And then the person survives. Where they wanted to make the call and start harvesting organs. This person's dying, they're not gonna make it, but we would like his kidney. It matches this guy.

• 6:50Speaker 04

  Is it because they need them, like, I guess if you die, they start to rot?

• 6:53Joe Rogan?

  That's all speculation. I don't know what, you know, I don't know what the thing is, but.

• 6:57Speaker 03

  It's like hostile.

• 6:58Joe Rogan?

  But what happens is, you have to be alive when they're actually pulling those organs.

• 7:02Speaker 02

  My brother-in-law has.

• 7:04Joe Rogan?

  So they'll say, you're brain dead. And maybe a lot of people are brain dead. And look, I have a friend of mine who has a fake heart. Well, not, excuse me, not a fake heart. He got a heart from somebody else. He got a donated heart. So it's like, it really helps.

• 7:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, my brother-in-law has a, my brother-in-law has two lungs. He has transplanted lungs.

• 7:20Joe Rogan?

  Cold preservation, typical window between organ recovery and transplantation. So this is right after they pull them out of the body. They have to do it very quickly. But when they pull them out of the body, I believe you have to actually be alive.

• 7:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's, they can't be oxygen deprived, it says.

• 7:34Joe Rogan?

  Right. Okay, so what does it say?

• 7:36Speaker 02

  The kidney transplant is usually like, both people there, right?

• 7:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, they just take one out and put it in.

• 7:42Joe Rogan?

  That's it, that's if you're like, your wife, like George Lopez, his wife donated a kidney to him. So there's one cutoff. The key is whether the organs are still getting oxygen. Not simply how long the person's been declared dead. The biggest distinction between the organs left without circulation and organs that a doctor promptly recover and preserve for transplant. So, if like, at the moment where your heart stops beating, they get it out of you. They can probably use it. But this idea that like, you could be dead, and then they bring you to the morgue, and then they can take your organs, that's not how it works.

• 8:12Speaker 03

  I, I signed up to be an organ donor, because I assumed that it was like, you get into a car accident, you're dead, they can, you can give your organs away. But now it's like, do they, you think they really give the 110%? Like, can I take that back?

• 8:24Speaker 02

  Don't cut me open. And then they just hold your license up to you.

• 8:27Speaker 03

  How do I scratch that off my license?

• 8:28Joe Rogan?

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• 10:33Joe Rogan?

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• 11:04Speaker 02

  Sorry, bro.

• 11:05Speaker 03

  Sorry, dude, that's what I'm afraid of.

• 11:06Joe Rogan?

  I mean, I'm not accusing anybody of doing this, but when you are, when you have a thing where you can profit from it, you run into like weird gray areas where people can make subjective calls. They can make a decision whether or not you live or die, and they might be wrong. They might be right 99 times out of 100, but that one time, if that's your niece, and then, you know what I mean? Like, that's someone you love, whoever it is, and then you-

• 11:31Speaker 02

  If it's me, though, when I say if they're gonna kill me, if it's between killing me to give someone whatever they need from me, which I'm sure my organs are garbage.

• 11:39Speaker 04

  Your fatty liver? You're gonna put your fatty liver into somebody?

• 11:42Speaker 02

  Could you imagine?

• 11:44Speaker 04

  So, we're gonna take it in a large heart and put it into this person?

• 11:48Speaker 03

  It won't fit into a child?

• 11:50Joe Rogan?

  It smells like Marlboros.

• 11:52Speaker 02

  See where that Christian Slater was gonna be on the outside of his body?

• 11:55Speaker 04

  He's like, "Oh, so we have a black lung here."

• 11:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, sorry, bro.

• 11:59Speaker 03

  They don't want two bad feet?

• 12:00Joe Rogan?

  We're just gonna clean it out before we put it in ya.

• 12:03Speaker 02

  But that's a wild, yeah, my brother-in-law has two lungs that aren't his. It's so weird.

• 12:07Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god.

• 12:08Speaker 02

  And that's a life you have to live, like, uh, it's funny, he couldn't come see, I opened for Shane at, uh, Lincoln Financial Field, and my whole family came to that in Philadelphia, except my brother-in-law, because it was like-

• 12:19Speaker 04

  He saw Shane's SNL set.

• 12:20Speaker 02

  No, it was, uh, the, yeah, it was, yeah, he was against it. He, uh, you know, that was the wildfires in Canada that were causing, like, smoke and everything. He was like, he can't go outside in that. It would be like certain doom for him the rest of his life. And you can't take, and for the rest of your life, you gotta take anti, uh, you know, rejection, uh, medicine, which is basically-

• 12:40Joe Rogan?

  Immunosuppressant.

• 12:41Speaker 02

  It's like giving yourself AIDS.

• 12:42Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 12:43Speaker 02

  Just like sit there, open everything. It's like, well-

• 12:45Speaker 04

  But way less fun.

• 12:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, you go see, "I have a mild cough. I'll see you guys in a month."

• 12:51Joe Rogan?

  You guys know the Ben Askren story?

• 12:54Speaker 03

  He almost passed away, right?

• 12:55Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. He, uh, got, uh, an infection in his lungs, and it was rotting his lungs out. Like, he didn't wanna go to the hospital. His wife talked him into going to the hospital, and they realized, like, "Oh, you're, you've got holes in your lungs. Like, you're gonna die." And then they had to do a double lung transplant on a healthy, you know, elite wrestler, former MMA champion.

• 13:17Speaker 02

  I'm gonna explain, I wanna explain to you the kinda hypochondria I have, is I now feel that exact thing happening to my lungs as I speak.

• 13:24Speaker 03

  I think you're preserving the cigarette.

• 13:26Speaker 02

  Oh, that's what's happening.

• 13:29Speaker 04

  Who look like the guys who, like, get their faces torn off and they get a full face transplant? That, that technology's gotten way better.

• 13:34Joe Rogan?

  It's gotten weird, though, 'cause you got no eyes, so you don't even know what you're doing.

• 13:37Speaker 03

  Face off, for real?

• 13:38Speaker 02

  What's your, what's your will to live? That's almost the point. If like, if you, if you're an organ donor, and it's like the choices, you can get that organ away, or it's like, you have a nice, long journey back to being where people can at least, like, appreciate you or listen to your ideas again.

• 13:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:53Speaker 02

  I don't know, give the guy-

• 13:54Speaker 03

  A lung, or whatever.

• 13:55Speaker 02

  Give the guy my pancreas.

• 13:56Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but it depends on, like, what it is. Like, sometimes people just come back and they're fine. Like, whatever the, like, it's not like every time you're almost dead, it's the same. You know, it's, it's, it's just weird when someone can make a decision as to whether or not you live or die, and it's the wrong decision, but you're dead, and no one cares, and then the hospital makes money off of it.

• 14:17Speaker 02

  You gotta turn it over to God, dude. That's what, uh, Hulk Hogan, remember Hulk Hogan was talking to his son when his son got in the accident and the friend died, and Hulk Hogan was on the phone with his son? I think he's trying to make his son feel better, but you remember what he said?

• 14:28Joe Rogan?

  No.

• 14:28Speaker 02

  He was like, "I don't know what your friend John did there to get wr- wrong with God, but I guess he was like, "What the fuck?"

• 14:36Speaker 04

  He wasn't saying his prayers. He wasn't eating his vitamins.

• 14:39Speaker 02

  His pythons were under 20 inches.

• 14:41Joe Rogan?

  Bro, when someone, people start interpreting the Bible in that way, like, "I don't think you're reading it right." I don't think that's how it works. Like, you're supposed to say, "I'm sorry, your friend's dead."

• 14:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:53Speaker 03

  Not giving the reasons why you think he died. You're like, "Hey, your friend didn't make a run."

• 14:56Speaker 02

  Also, the reason he died was his son drove them into a tree a hundred not, some miles away. This was a wild story.

• 15:01Joe Rogan?

  You guys see this, where the priest gets killed by the cross?

• 15:02Speaker 02

  Oh, have I seen it?

• 15:03Joe Rogan?

  Hey!

• 15:04Speaker 02

  I've watched this a thousand times, Jesus. This, this priest-

• 15:08Joe Rogan?

  The craziest video, because this poor guy was in the, the middle of, like, wasn't he talking about, like, that you have to get right with God before you die?

• 15:18Joe Rogan?

  I think he might have been talking about, like, the Jack Hogan phrase.

• 15:21Speaker 02

  This is the first, this is the first time the church ever was scrambling to find some dirt on this guy.

• 15:27Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 15:28Speaker 02

  Like, you wanna be like, "Oh, we found out this guy is," I mean, there's kids buried all under the rectory.

• 15:32Joe Rogan?

  See, the thing about those guys is they have to be really careful, 'cause they all have secrets. And if one guy rats one guy out, then they start doing a deep dive.

• 15:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:41Joe Rogan?

  Like, Catholic priests and pedophiles, they, that's just linked. There's no way you say Catholic priest to someone who's our age or your age, and in, in any way, it doesn't enter into your mind.

• 15:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:55Speaker 04

  Steve's brother is a Catholic priest, which is hilarious.

• 15:58Speaker 02

  He's just-

• 15:58Joe Rogan?

  He's a good guy, though, right?

• 15:59Speaker 03

  He's a good guy, yes. I swear to God, yes, nothing shady. And it's a tough-

• 16:03Speaker 02

  But we can tell you-

• 16:04Speaker 04

  For sure.

• 16:05Joe Rogan?

  Sure.

• 16:05Speaker 02

  He probably has, and we just haven't found out yet.

• 16:07Speaker 03

  Well, but he's like, he's like, it's a tough thing when people, like, I, I, what's tougher? Telling someone you're a comic, or said, telling someone you're a Roman Catholic priest, but you have to, like, put that, like, "But I'm a great guy," you know, like, "I'm not a person that you wanna..."

• 16:20Speaker 04

  I am disgusted by children's bodies.

• 16:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, whatever.

• 16:23Speaker 04

  I have to preface every conversation.

• 16:24Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, bring your ugly kid over here.

• 16:26Joe Rogan?

  I'd rather fuck a dog.

• 16:29Speaker 03

  What? Excuse me? A dog? Yeah. Love dogs.

• 16:35Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's weird that that, that, those two are just connected, and we're, we're trying to pretend they're not.

• 16:40Speaker 02

  Well, when was the blow-up of it? Was it 80s?

• 16:43Joe Rogan?

  Well, I mean, there's been-

• 16:44Speaker 02

  80s, 90s, where they were really, it's like, they're mov- they're just moving them around. It was like, uh-

• 16:47Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 16:47Speaker 02

  Girls gymnastics coaches. They're just shuffling them around fucking parts of the country.

• 16:52Joe Rogan?

  There's a documentary called, I think it's called Here No Evil. It's one of the worst documentaries you could ever watch. Like, don't watch it. Uh, but it's basically about this Catholic priest, and they, they take him from one place and they move him to another place. And I think the story was that he molested 100 deaf kids. They moved him to a place where the kids were all deaf, and he was just molesting these deaf kids. And this was one of the ones, I believe the story was, this is the ones that Ratzinger, you know, that one pope that was disgraced and removed?

• 17:21Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:22Joe Rogan?

  He was involved in that. So, a lot of these guys, before, you know, when they're moving up the ranks, one of, one of the jobs is you take a Catholic priest that's been molesting kids, and you move them. You just move them to another area. And they, they've been doing that forever. That was their standard policy.

• 17:39Speaker 04

  And you know what they say, "Wherever you go, there you are."

• 17:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:42Joe Rogan?

  I think that's Dr. Seuss. That's right. It was also a little problematic.

• 17:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 17:47Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. By the way, I didn't, I went to, I think it was in San Diego once, that American Comedy Club, walking around, and there was like an art gallery, and it was doing a Dr. Seuss, like, exhibit. And you go inside, and like, very quickly, you're like, "Yo." This guy drew a lot of, uh, pretty racist, uh, stuff.

• 18:04Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah. He was problematic.

• 18:06Speaker 02

  And old, like, uh, was it Looney Tunes or Warner Brothers?

• 18:09Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah, super racist. Well, have you seen, there's, you know, the, the big bad wolf? Like, what was it? We've seen this before, Jamie. It's like the original one from like the 1930s. So, there's a big bad wolf that's banging on someone's door.

• 18:24Speaker 04

  It's, um, Goldilocks.

• 18:25Joe Rogan?

  And they pull the mask off, and in the original one, it's a Jewish guy.

• 18:30Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 18:31Joe Rogan?

  And they converted it to a wolf later.

• 18:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, it's great.

• 18:34Joe Rogan?

  It's crazy.

• 18:35Speaker 02

  It's so funny.

• 18:36Joe Rogan?

  You realize this was a cartoon for kids?

• 18:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:39Speaker 04

  And way ahead of their time, how accurate they drew that Jewish person. It was crazy, dude.

• 18:43Speaker 03

  Is that Ari?

• 18:46Joe Rogan?

  But it was like, open, this is before World War II, so it was just openly fine to do that in a cartoon.

• 18:53Speaker 02

  There was a racism episode, I saw this on YouTube recently, a racism episode of Bewitched, where like the, you know, the blink, wiggle the nose trick was to, to make this racist feel bad. They were all, he was gonna see everybody as black. And it's the entire cast in blackface, including the children. It's the craziest fucking thing I've ever seen.

• 19:14Joe Rogan?

  Well, that is one of the wilder things, though, honestly, that you can't change the color of your skin because it's racist. You can't pretend to be of a different race.

• 19:23Speaker 04

  Well, back in the 80s and 90s, you can just be like, "Oh, I'm a basketball player."

• 19:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:27Speaker 04

  But for Halloween, normally, the amount of people that have blackface Halloween costumes from the 80s and 90s, and they're like, "I hope this never comes out."

• 19:34Joe Rogan?

  Just in Trudeau.

• 19:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:35Speaker 02

  But we are being conditioned to, like, fear the thing at all, 'cause exactly, like, I'm certain, because I just watched reruns of stuff when I was a kid, that I saw that Bewitched episode. It didn't strike me at all, 'cause I got that it was like an anti-racism message. Do you know what I mean? I got the point. I didn't had go just like, "Still, no matter what, that's," but now, you're like, "Shit, you can't fuck around like that."

• 19:55Speaker 04

  Even the witch.

• 19:56Speaker 02

  I didn't think, I didn't think anything about most of those things. Ted Danson?

• 19:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, Ted Danson.

• 20:00Joe Rogan?

  Ted Danson.

• 20:01Speaker 03

  That was the thing that-

• 20:02Speaker 02

  That was-

• 20:02Speaker 04

  Roddy, Roddy Piper, when he wrestled Bad News Brown at, like, WrestleMania 6 or whatever, he came out in half-black body paint on his whole body. Roddy, Roddy Piper.

• 20:11Joe Rogan?

  Half-black is fine.

• 20:12Speaker 04

  That's fine.

• 20:13Joe Rogan?

  That's not full blackface.

• 20:14Speaker 03

  At Naked Roast a couple of years ago, I painted my cock black, and I was like, I just did black cock. And I was gonna do blackface, and I was starting to put it on, and Yamanika walked by, and I was like, "Ah, this isn't a good idea. Just walk it off, dude."

• 20:27Joe Rogan?

  Yamanika would definitely call you out.

• 20:29Speaker 04

  It's also, it's also- I'm gonna get on Yamanika's bad side, Jesus.

• 20:32Speaker 02

  Also, blackface got like, it's too blanket statement, because it shouldn't be considered blackface if you're doing brownface, because that was like, that's the Bewitched thing.

• 20:42Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 20:43Speaker 02

  That's blackface, which fun, which I think hilariously looks less offensive to black people technically, but that's the factual paint they would put on for blackface.

• 20:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:52Joe Rogan?

  They would do pitch black?

• 20:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:54Joe Rogan?

  Like the Al Jolson days?

• 20:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:56Joe Rogan?

  That's, that, you watch those minstrel shows. Those are crazy.

• 20:59Speaker 04

  This is a good question. If, let's say you were getting an organ, you got into an accident, and you needed somebody's organ, but they were only gonna give you a black guy's organ, would you take it?

• 21:07Speaker 02

  Uh-

• 21:07Speaker 04

  Steve?

• 21:08Speaker 03

  Yes, of course I would take it. I wanna live.

• 21:10Joe Rogan?

  For real?

• 21:13Speaker 04

  What if they give you a choice to take a white guy's heart or a black guy's heart, and you get to choose?

• 21:18Joe Rogan?

  I wanna know what they did.

• 21:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, give me their, their profession.

• 21:21Joe Rogan?

  Tell me what these guys did with their day. Did they eat fruits and vegetables and work out all day? Give me the black guy.

• 21:27Speaker 03

  Give me a menu.

• 21:27Joe Rogan?

  100%, give me the guy who's healthy. That's what I want.

• 21:30Speaker 04

  Black guy doesn't work out, but he still has a better body.

• 21:34Speaker 02

  Never worked out once.

• 21:35Joe Rogan?

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• 22:17Joe Rogan?

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• 22:41Speaker 02

  He goes, alright, well, you're gonna live healthy, but you're never gonna dunk.

• 22:44Speaker 03

  That's the way it goes.

• 22:47Speaker 02

  You gotta weigh the good and the bad, I guess, with everything.

• 22:49Joe Rogan?

  There's trade offs. It's weird because whiteface is totally fine. Like, White Chicks? Like, you could do White Chicks 2 today.

• 22:55Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 22:55Joe Rogan?

  No one would care.

• 22:56Speaker 03

  No.

• 22:56Joe Rogan?

  It was funny movie.

• 22:57Speaker 02

  I look forward to it.

• 22:58Joe Rogan?

  Nobody cared. But it's such a weird thing that you can't pretend to be someone.

• 23:02Speaker 02

  We should make Black Chicks. That'd be a fun movie to make.

• 23:06Joe Rogan?

  Boy, you could go to town with that one if you were really bold. Oh, yeah, Druski.

• 23:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, Druski, dude. I mean, that's hilarious.

• 23:14Joe Rogan?

  Druski did Erica Kirk. But the fucking people on the right, man, they lost their fucking minds thinking that was rude.

• 23:21Speaker 02

  Did they really? They take the bait on that.

• 23:23Joe Rogan?

  The tards, the tards.

• 23:24Speaker 02

  The bait on that that much, that's crazy.

• 23:25Joe Rogan?

  You know, the lowest IQ, farthest right ding-dongs. Who are, their whole identity is like being an online MAGA person. There's just like a low IQ version of that that's out there that no matter what you do. Oh, fuck you, fuck you, fucking traitor. There's those people. Fuck Druski, I'll never listen to him again.

• 23:45Speaker 03

  Did you, were you a big fan before? I loved all his skits.

• 23:49Joe Rogan?

  He's funny, man. And look, it's kinda odd when your husband dies and then all of a sudden you've got sparklers coming out from behind your ass and you're wearing glitter pants and you're walking out like you're Led Zeppelin in 1977. It's a little weird.

• 24:02Speaker 02

  The final countdown should have played.

• 24:04Joe Rogan?

  It's a little weird. I mean, I don't judge people on how they grieve. I wouldn't wanna be the person who's, watches their husband get shot in the neck and then see people celebrate. How much that would just psychologically fuck you up. And then I'm sure they probably put you on some medication because it's probably insane to deal with. So they probably give you something to fucking calm you down. And so then they're like, listen, Erica, this is what we're gonna do. We're gonna have crazy music and then sparklers behind you and you come out.

• 24:31Speaker 02

  Like, what is this? That's his funeral?

• 24:33Speaker 03

  Is this your sweet 16?

• 24:34Joe Rogan?

  How long after he died did that happen?

• 24:37Speaker 02

  Like a week, that was the memorial. It was like within a week.

• 24:41Joe Rogan?

  The sparklers is wild. Like, what are we?

• 24:43Speaker 02

  And the memes were great.

• 24:44Speaker 03

  She was in hair and makeup, like, she got hair and makeup, for sure.

• 24:47Joe Rogan?

  Well, that's you have to do. You gotta look good.

• 24:49Speaker 02

  Dude, all the memes that came out would be like, it's like a A car with like fireworks shooting off it doing circles and it says, grieving my husband, Erica Kirk.

• 24:58Speaker 03

  Dude, I've had an in-depth conversation with my wife about what I expect after I pass away. Like, the amount of grieving and the amount of consoling. Like, I don't even want her to leave the house for five or six months after.

• 25:09Speaker 02

  I'm gonna go the Kirk way, dude. I went fucking Bigfoot and Gravedigger coming at each other over a bunch of broken down cars. Let's go Big Truckzilla.

• 25:17Speaker 04

  Steve, I think you swore on your wife's life last night on Story Warz and were lying.

• 25:23Speaker 03

  Wait a minute.

• 25:24Speaker 02

  You're trying every

• 25:26Joe Rogan?

  I told the truth, I told the truth.

• 25:27Speaker 02

  You're trying every way to get her out of your life without you having to do anything?

• 25:31Speaker 02

  Too much true crime now.

• 25:32Speaker 03

  No, I expect full, like, inconsolable, like, just, you know, wearing black, a veil. I want that level of, like, pain and sorrow when I'm gone.

• 25:41Joe Rogan?

  How long before a new guy comes along?

• 25:43Speaker 03

  No.

• 25:44Joe Rogan?

  Never?

• 25:44Speaker 03

  Never.

• 25:45Joe Rogan?

  To death?

• 25:46Speaker 03

  To death, dude.

• 25:46Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 25:47Speaker 03

  To death.

• 25:48Speaker 02

  Now, let's say she dies tomorrow tragically.

• 25:50Speaker 03

  I need companionship. I'm a different kinda person. I require companionship.

• 25:55Speaker 02

  I understand that. No one likes being alone.

• 25:57Speaker 03

  No, I don't wanna be alone, okay? But that's my personality.

• 26:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, that makes sense.

• 26:02Speaker 03

  Her personality is what I'm telling her, that she has to be very sad when I'm dead. That's the way it goes.

• 26:07Speaker 02

  Say it while pointing with a cigar also does send a nice message.

• 26:10Speaker 03

  And you're gonna be sad, kid.

• 26:11Speaker 02

  Yeah. Once I die, I don't care. Just cremate me. You know, move on. I, you know, I think that's it. I think once you die, the lights are out.

• 26:18Joe Rogan?

  The cremate you thing is another scam. So you assume you're getting your dad's ashes.

• 26:24Speaker 02

  No, they give you a mix of ashes.

• 26:25Joe Rogan?

  Come on, really? What's in the pot?

• 26:27Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 26:27Speaker 03

  I had my dog done and I look, I literally go, this is awesome.

• 26:32Joe Rogan?

  Chalk, chilies are in there, all kinds of stuff's in there.

• 26:36Speaker 04

  When we put my dog down, we had to pay more money to have him cremated separately from other dogs. They told us, they were like, look, if we do the regular cremation, you're getting other dogs' ashes. But if you do it separately, we'll have a clean thing and we paid more money. But they don't even give you just ashes, they give you little chips of, there's pieces of bone. It's not, it's really bizarre.

• 26:55Speaker 03

  Ashes is an idea.

• 26:56Speaker 02

  I like more of like the, if I was gonna do any idea like that, because I think burial's stupid, but the bur, where, you know, they'll put you in a pod that are trees in or something. I'm like, sure, do something like that.

• 27:06Joe Rogan?

  They put your body under a tree.

• 27:08Speaker 02

  They shouldn't make those things cost a bazillion dollars, though. That's the problem, those things cost like a gazillion dollars to do.

• 27:13Joe Rogan?

  It shouldn't. No, that should be standard. That should be how we do it in national parks.

• 27:17Speaker 02

  But I mean

• 27:17Joe Rogan?

  You know what the best one is, though? Tibetan sky funeral.

• 27:20Speaker 03

  What happens there?

• 27:22Joe Rogan?

  Oh, there's, they're, this is crazy. So their tradition is to take the bodies up to the top of a mountain and they break the bones apart and chop the bodies up into chunks and the vultures are everywhere. They know that they're gonna do this. So they've trained these vultures to eat these people. So they bring the bodies, all the local villagers, the people who've died, and they, they're up there hacking their limbs into digestible chunks. And then the vultures are just swarming them. They're all over the place.

• 27:52Speaker 02

  And that's like the reasonable people of that place?

• 27:55Joe Rogan?

  Well, their, their thought is, like, you are part of nature. You will now get absorbed by nature and you will go right back into nature.

• 28:03Speaker 02

  Taking on that job, though, you have to have like a Dexter personality.

• 28:07Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Well, I mean, sort of, but in these people, it's like just their tradition. The person's gone and what you're gonna do is just sacrifice them to nature. And isn't it better if it feeds these animals that are important for the ecosystem?

• 28:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, until that bird shits on your head while you're walking by.

• 28:23Speaker 02

  If it was somebody's If it was somebody's wishes, do you think you could?

• 28:27Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 28:27Speaker 02

  Even when they're dead, cut their limbs off?

• 28:29Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 28:29Speaker 02

  You could, you don't think you have a stomach for that?

• 28:32Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I could do it. I wouldn't wanna do it, but I could do it.

• 28:34Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 28:35Speaker 02

  I think you wanna do it. You don't have to do it ever.

• 28:38Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but I wouldn't wanna do it to a loved one, that's for sure. Like, I wouldn't wanna cut my wife up after she's dead.

• 28:43Speaker 04

  We tried to fillet a fish on the podcast weeks ago. I mean, Steve, we looked over at him, he was just like with puddles of fish guts in his hands.

• 28:52Speaker 03

  I watched a video, I thought I had the thing down and I couldn't get a scale off this fucking thing, dude. I chopped the head off, I started just fucking going against the grain. It was coming apart, I almost cut my fucking hand off with a knife. I literally was like this, it looked like ceviche when I was done.

• 29:07Joe Rogan?

  If you go on a boat, like a charter boat and go fishing with guys, dude, every day. Those guys are masters, the way they fillet those fishes.

• 29:13Speaker 03

  And they're doing it while the waves are, yeah, going up and down.

• 29:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, a little catch and cook. I do, anytime I go on vacation, dude, you catch it that morning, you bring it back to the villa or the hotel, they cook it up for you, but yeah.

• 29:22Joe Rogan?

  There's this one dude I'm obsessed with online, he lives in Hawaii. And I think it's called, I'll find it, it's called like Psychama or something? Psychama Syndicate? Hold on, let me find it.

• 29:35Speaker 03

  Is that just paprika?

• 29:37Joe Rogan?

  God damn it. I gotta find this guy. But what he does is, I don't remember the name of his Instagram. What he does is he goes, see if you can find it, Jamie. He goes, I think we've shown him before, goes online with a kayak. So he's got a kayak, he takes this fucker out, there he is, Sakana Syndicate, that's it. So this dude goes fishing out of this kayak and then he cooks a gourmet meal on the kayak in the middle of the fucking ocean. It's the coolest thing.

• 30:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, they club him in the head to kill him. Now, can I tell you something? Cue back it up, Jamie, a little bit to where he's

• 30:09Joe Rogan?

  The way this guy does it, he busts out a chopping board, he's got a knife, he brings different herbs and garlic and minces things up. I mean, literally makes like gourmet meals.

• 30:19Speaker 03

  Pokeballs?

• 30:20Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, man. I mean, he does a bunch of different things. Sometimes he cooks, he brings a burner on and he'll cook fish, but

• 30:29Speaker 03

  You got me into that guy that, at the end, it goes, super.

• 30:32Joe Rogan?

  Oh, he's my favorite. Wilder's cooking.

• 30:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, he cooks on like a rock and shit, dude.

• 30:36Joe Rogan?

  Azerbaijan, that guy's awesome.

• 30:39Speaker 02

  He'll be in the winter sometimes, he'll be in the woods.

• 30:41Joe Rogan?

  So this dude is like, like, every week he's doing this and

• 30:46Speaker 03

  Crustaceans?

• 30:47Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, man, but it's really fucking interesting to watch.

• 30:51Speaker 03

  Nope.

• 30:51Joe Rogan?

  Because this dude, so right now, he's, he's just like, it seems like he's gonna eat those raw. But a lot of them, he cooks. See if you can find one where he cooks. So he makes these like fucking, like, really complicated meals out there. They look fantastic.

• 31:05Speaker 02

  If I was sitting across from him when he's holding any of these fish, I would be actively screaming.

• 31:08Speaker 03

  Dude, I know.

• 31:09Speaker 02

  I'd go, get out of there, man. It's gonna hurt, get out of there, but it's angry, it's angry at us.

• 31:15Joe Rogan?

  So this dude

• 31:16Speaker 03

  Look, that's what I tried.

• 31:18Joe Rogan?

  Oh, is that what you tried?

• 31:19Speaker 03

  That's what I tried to do. But it did not end up like that at all.

• 31:22Speaker 02

  It didn't.

• 31:22Joe Rogan?

  You gotta learn how to do it from someone who knows what the fuck they're doing.

• 31:25Speaker 03

  I know, but

• 31:25Joe Rogan?

  It's not an unattainable skill.

• 31:27Speaker 03

  I'll be better at it next time.

• 31:29Joe Rogan?

  You will.

• 31:30Speaker 02

  You'll be back, dude. Me and Jay tried, me and Jay both swirled their fingers within seconds. I cut myself, it still has a little scar.

• 31:37Speaker 03

  It looks so good, though. And it looks so easy. Did you ever try fishing on a

• 31:42Speaker 02

  Oh, my god.

• 31:43Speaker 03

  Canoe, I did. I flipped over. I was trying catching a trout out of a lake and the whole thing flipped it over.

• 31:49Speaker 02

  This, every, every one of these videos begins with what I would deem to be danger.

• 31:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:53Speaker 02

  Like, we're in danger.

• 31:55Speaker 03

  Like, I wouldn't even hang my feet over the side like that.

• 31:57Joe Rogan?

  Well, there's definitely tiger sharks out there. There's a great video of this guy in one of those.

• 32:01Speaker 02

  That's Italian cooking right there, you gotta pound it down, good, flat.

• 32:04Joe Rogan?

  We played this the other day, there's a great video of a guy that's on one of these and this tiger shark comes up and bites the side of his kayak and he screams, tiger shark! And you see this fucking mouth come out of the water. And it just, yeah, he lived. It didn't get him.

• 32:18Speaker 03

  Do all sharks have teeth? Because I caught a, I'm serious.

• 32:23Speaker 03

  Because a sand shark, I caught, my friend's got a boat, we went

• 32:25Joe Rogan?

  That's the level of discourse, look at this. Look at this tiger shark.

• 32:28Speaker 02

  Yo, I went swimming with tiger sharks in Hawaii.

• 32:31Speaker 03

  That's what I'm saying.

• 32:32Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, bro, I mean, that guy could've lost a foot there for sure. That thing is just clamping down on his kayak.

• 32:37Speaker 02

  You know where that never happens? Land.

• 32:39Joe Rogan?

  Yep, that's what I'm talking about, dog. That's what I'm talking about.

• 32:43Speaker 02

  That never happens on land.

• 32:44Speaker 04

  You know what doesn't happen in the sea? Puerto Ricans.

• 32:45Speaker 02

  That's true. I know, so you're really damned if you do, damned if you don't.

• 32:51Speaker 02

  Sometimes you gotta get your ass out there.

• 32:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:53Joe Rogan?

  So why were you filleting a fish?

• 32:56Speaker 03

  We did a end of summer podcast games where we, you know, stuff that you do in the summer. We filleted a fish, threw a football, diving contest. What else did we do?

• 33:06Speaker 04

  It was against another podcast.

• 33:07Speaker 03

  It was against Colin Terrell's podcast. Yeah, yeah.

• 33:10Speaker 04

  They beat us.

• 33:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:11Speaker 04

  We did one of the things was a football throwing challenge and Jay and Steve, they pride themselves as being like sports guys. So they had to have a, Jay had to have a blindfold on while he held a hula hoop above his head while Steve tried to throw the ball across the yard through the hoop.

• 33:25Speaker 03

  Without hitting him in the face, groin, body or anything like that?

• 33:28Speaker 02

  It was so scary.

• 33:29Speaker 04

  Shout out Tristan Bowing.

• 33:30Speaker 03

  Look at this. Joe, you tell me where I went wrong on this.

• 33:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:34Joe Rogan?

  Well, first of all, did you have a sharp knife?

• 33:36Speaker 03

  That's Tristan, yeah.

• 33:37Speaker 04

  No, we had, we had nice knives. We had really good knives.

• 33:39Joe Rogan?

  They're good knives? Okay.

• 33:41Speaker 04

  Oh, that's you, Steve?

• 33:42Speaker 03

  No, no, that's Tristan. God, it's so violent. Let's go Tristan, this is it.

• 33:46Speaker 02

  That's Steve over there.

• 33:47Speaker 03

  Yup.

• 33:47Joe Rogan?

  Also, there's a race to clean the fish?

• 33:49Speaker 03

  It's a race to see if you can get it done first too.

• 33:50Joe Rogan?

  And you're filleting it as well?

• 33:52Speaker 03

  Yup.

• 33:53Speaker 04

  Steve, what are you doing?

• 33:54Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Yeah, you're being too aggressive.

• 33:58Speaker 03

  Dude.

• 33:59Joe Rogan?

  It's a more gentle process. First of all, one of the things you do is you start from the top of the back. So you started from the bottom where the guts are. When you make the fillet, you start from the back and you slice along the spine.

• 34:12Speaker 04

  Joe, where were you this guy? So you see where you went wrong?

• 34:15Joe Rogan?

  I could have helped.

• 34:17Speaker 02

  So you see where you took a left there, Steve?

• 34:19Joe Rogan?

  I could have given out pointers. There's a method.

• 34:21Speaker 02

  I mean, that is crazy what's in front of you.

• 34:22Joe Rogan?

  That looks like.

• 34:23Speaker 02

  That pile of shit in front of you is crazy.

• 34:25Joe Rogan?

  That looks insane.

• 34:27Speaker 03

  It looks like a Mack to a murder, dude.

• 34:29Joe Rogan?

  That looks like a Tibetan sky funeral.

• 34:31Speaker 03

  Yup.

• 34:31Speaker 02

  It disintegrated. That's the right word for it.

• 34:34Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 34:34Speaker 02

  It was pulverized.

• 34:35Speaker 03

  Put it in a crock pot. I think I told you.

• 34:37Joe Rogan?

  It's a skill. Oh, fuck. It's a thing you gotta learn how to do.

• 34:40Speaker 02

  It's what I don't have. I'm, I don't, I've never taken a fish off a hook. I, uh, I've gone on the boat with like, on the Burt tour where they take you fishing and they're like, you wanna hold the fish for the picture? I'm like, I'll point to it. Probably this guy.

• 34:53Speaker 04

  With his pink fingernails?

• 34:54Speaker 03

  Dude, I need a glove or something when I go to get the hook out. I'm not like a guy who can just grab the fish. Cause it squirms too much, you know?

• 35:01Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 35:02Speaker 03

  You get nervous, you know? Plus it's living. I'm trying to get it done quick. I won't throw it back.

• 35:05Speaker 04

  These guys are real pussies. They're not real men like us.

• 35:07Joe Rogan?

  It's just one of those things you get used to. You know, if you had to live off fish, you'd figure it out real quick. If you get stranded on an island, you would be like, remember when I could barely hold a fish?

• 35:17Speaker 03

  CBS in the morning on Sundays, they show bass fishing and I'll watch that for like an hour because those guys, the way they just sit there, they know the spots.

• 35:24Joe Rogan?

  I'm torn on bass fishing.

• 35:26Speaker 03

  Why?

• 35:26Joe Rogan?

  Because they don't wanna eat them. They're just fucking with these fish. They're just, they're tricking them and then they're letting them go. It's fun. I've done it. I love doing it. I love bass fishing, don't get me wrong. But part of me is like, what are we doing here? We're not even eating these things.

• 35:41Speaker 02

  It's torture. Why don't people eat them?

• 35:44Speaker 03

  It's just a catch and release, right?

• 35:45Joe Rogan?

  There's a bunch of issues.

• 35:46Speaker 02

  When I was young, people would catch bass and they would get them like clean and cooked.

• 35:50Joe Rogan?

  They certainly can. You certainly can eat them. The problem is they have forever chemicals in them now. Almost all freshwater fish are polluted. Almost all of them.

• 35:58Speaker 02

  You'll get sick.

• 35:59Joe Rogan?

  If you eat a freshwater fish from a lake in the United States of America, you're gonna get a very high level of PFAS. And these are a bunch of forever chemicals. They come from environmental toxins, plastics, all kinds of shit that's in the oxygen or in the air rather, the atmosphere that gets down into the water from rain, from runoff, from, you know, every time it rains, all, you don't think about it, but all the fucking shit that's in your car, all your oil dripping, anything that someone left in the gutter, all that shit runs into the lake. And when that stuff runs in there, you're, it's never going anywhere. It stays in there and it gets in the fish.

• 36:35Speaker 02

  There's no flow.

• 36:36Joe Rogan?

  Like, pull that up, Jamie. Pull that up in perplexity. Like the, uh, what, what the toxins are that you can get. Environmental toxins from freshwater fish. So you get like.

• 36:47Speaker 02

  Is it like an aspartame thing where it's like, it turns out you have to drink 700 cokes a day or diet cokes a day?

• 36:52Joe Rogan?

  Probably, but I do know, uh, Steve Rinella told me about a guy who got real fucking sick because he was a, uh, a tournament fisherman. So a freshwater tournament, like catch a bunch of perch and they eat them. Perch are delicious. But he ate them exclusively. That was his whole diet. His fucking health fell apart and it turned out that was why. It was like he was literally poisoning himself. Freshwater fish can contain contaminants, especially mercury, PCBs and PFAS that accumulate in their, in the, from their water and food. The risk depends on the species, the lake or river and how often you eat the fish. Freshwater fish aren't uniformly unsafe. So, uh, it's just a lot of people recommend that if you're gonna eat freshwater fish, don't eat a lot of it. Don't eat it often.

• 37:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, when I went fishing in Puerto Rico, there were, one of the fish that we caught, they were like, if it was over a certain size, they're like, don't eat it because they've been feeding on like the bottom feeding, like, um, on the reef, whatever the animals that would eat the reef. And they were like, they become toxic the larger they are. So we had to throw them back if they were like over a certain weight or whatever.

• 37:56Joe Rogan?

  We went to the Bahamas and, uh, there was this guy who's a guide who was telling us, you can eat barracuda that are from this side of this, this island, but not from the other side. And I said, how come? And he's like, well, it's like what they eat and, and you know, like this side is safe and that side's not safe. Cause they're, and I'm like, so how do we know these aren't moving around?

• 38:18Speaker 03

  I didn't know you could eat barracuda at all.

• 38:20Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, so I, you know, I was with my daughter and I was like, we're not eating these. Like you could have them. Would you eat them? He said, yeah. I'm like, oh, you can keep them. So I, I didn't eat the fish. I was like, that makes me nervous as fuck. Cause it's like literally a toxin.

• 38:34Speaker 05

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• 39:36Joe Rogan?

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• 40:16Joe Rogan?

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• 40:54Speaker 02

  What's your strange, do you have like, uh, like you've probably been introduced to all kinds of strange foods. Where's, where do you draw the line?

• 41:00Joe Rogan?

  Well, because of Fear Factor, I've eaten insane things.

• 41:04Speaker 02

  Oh, you tried the stuff?

• 41:05Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah. I ate a lot of it. Uh, the, the first episode, I did it like, sort of like to help the people out. I said, I feel terrible that you have to do this, so I'll do it too. And they had to eat a sheep's eyeball. That wasn't that bad. It's just in your head mostly. And I ate.

• 41:18Speaker 02

  Now, it's also the thing too.

• 41:19Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but it's.

• 41:21Speaker 04

  It's a sheep's eyeball.

• 41:22Joe Rogan?

  If it was violently awful to eat, I would tell you. And it wasn't. It was just, just meat. And then the other one that I ate, I ate that was pretty disgusting was a Madagascar hissing cockroach. It's like this big fucking roach. It was, and it was alive.

• 41:35Speaker 03

  It was alive.

• 41:36Joe Rogan?

  I just picked it up, started chewing it. Almost no taste. It's in your head. Like in your head, it's like.

• 41:41Speaker 02

  But yeah, so you don't have the almost, did you almost get?

• 41:44Speaker 04

  It's not just in your head.

• 41:45Joe Rogan?

  I, I lost that. I used to have that bad. Like in high school, if somebody threw, like we were all hanging out together and you threw up, I'd be like. I would fucking immediately What got you past it?

• 41:55Speaker 02

  Fear Factor.

• 41:56Joe Rogan?

  No, Fear Factor.

• 41:57Speaker 02

  Really, just got you past it?

• 41:58Joe Rogan?

  Hundred percent. I saw people puke. I saw people puke literally every day.

• 42:01Speaker 04

  No, dude. Oh, look how young and handsome Joe was. Holy shit, dude.

• 42:05Joe Rogan?

  I had hair back then, sort of.

• 42:06Speaker 04

  Wow, look at those lips.

• 42:08Joe Rogan?

  Thank you.

• 42:09Speaker 04

  Oh, dude.

• 42:11Joe Rogan?

  See, but it's not that bad. But I did think about it for a second here and then I got it, right there. I thought about it. I think it was because when you bite into the body cavity, it does squirk.

• 42:19Speaker 02

  Squirts, juices out?

• 42:20Joe Rogan?

  And I was laughing at the same time.

• 42:22Speaker 04

  I don't even wanna hear about this, much less do it. That's crazy.

• 42:24Joe Rogan?

  But I'm telling you, if you had to eat those to stay alive, you one hundred percent would eat them. It's not that big a deal.

• 42:29Speaker 02

  I, uh, I used to torture my ex-wife because I would give her the gags every time that, I think it went viral for a while, it was Bear Grylls. And he put the grub in his mouth and it was huge.

• 42:40Speaker 04

  Oh, the one that squirted?

• 42:41Speaker 02

  And he bites it in the middle and it just blasts open on his face. No reason to do it like that.

• 42:44Speaker 04

  But he wasn't even really doing it. That was the whole thing with Bear Grylls, right?

• 42:47Speaker 02

  He did enough.

• 42:47Speaker 04

  He was like staying in hotels.

• 42:49Joe Rogan?

  Well, he was out there legitimately. He was a legit guy. He knows what he's doing. I think he's, isn't he a special forces guy?

• 42:55Speaker 02

  British, right?

• 42:56Joe Rogan?

  Right. So what he was doing was showing you what you do and showing you how to do it, but then he would go stay in a hotel.

• 43:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:03Joe Rogan?

  That's the difference between him and Survivor Man. So what happened was Survivor Man had a show first. And Survivor Man, he doesn't bring anybody with him. He does everything by himself. He brings his own video cameras and it's all legit. And you could see it over the course of the episode. Like, he'll be in the jungle for seven days. He hasn't eaten in three fucking days. You see it in his face. He's lost a shitload of weight. He's dehydrated. He gets out of there and sometimes he has to go straight to the hospital. Like, he was really surviving on his own. But Bear, they were saying, listen, we're gonna bring in a lion, we're letting him loose in front. He's like, no, no, no, no, no. Like, they tried to do a bunch of shit, like, produce it. And he's like, you can't do this. I won't let you do this. And so then they said, well, we'll do it with somebody else. And that's where Bear Grylls came in.

• 43:46Speaker 02

  Bear Grylls, I think like-

• 43:47Joe Rogan?

  According to Survivor Man.

• 43:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:49Joe Rogan?

  I don't know if this is the complete truth.

• 43:51Speaker 02

  I mean, to Joe average, Bear Grylls, if you were like, yeah, he'd go like rip the skin off a snake and then piss in the skin and make it his like, you know, neck cooler for the desert. And then at the end of that, they go, alright, cut, back to the hotel. Like, he still fucking did that, dude. That's nuts. That's fucking nuts.

• 44:07Joe Rogan?

  Dude, imagine being- Why wouldn't you sleep in a hotel if you could? Like, what are you, stupid?

• 44:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:11Speaker 03

  Imagine being the Survivor Man. You haven't eaten in five days and now you have to set up a camera to film yourself. You're like, oh, I gotta set up a fucking camera, get my mic on. You're like, you're not even thinking, like, you have to think about eating is should be your main priority.

• 44:25Speaker 04

  That show alone is a similar thing. They take like fifteen people and that's great. And they put them in like, it's not even like anywhere, like, it's like deep in Canada in the cold and it's like, it's like thirty degrees when they start and then by day sixty, it's like negative eight degrees. Cause you have to do it alone.

• 44:38Speaker 03

  Cause they're nowhere near each other.

• 44:39Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 44:40Speaker 04

  They're nowhere near each other. And they, to win the thing, you have to stay out there the longest. Whoever stays out there the longest wins like a quarter million dollars.

• 44:47Speaker 02

  That's it.

• 44:47Speaker 04

  But check it out. You don't know when the other people tap out. So you don't know if there's ten people left, you don't know if there's two people left. You're just sitting there with your thoughts, being like, what the fuck?

• 44:56Joe Rogan?

  It's a great show.

• 44:57Speaker 04

  It's a great show. They build like crazy huts and shit.

• 45:00Speaker 03

  There was one season where the guy was like, I'll stay out here. I kind of like my life out here now.

• 45:04Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, well, my friend Jordan, he's a episode, he was on one of the episodes of the podcast, Jordan Jones, he did it. And he's a real like survival guy. Like, he's lived with, uh, people in Siberia. He lived with these, uh, these tribes that like they herd caribous and shit. And he brought with him a bow and arrow, so he killed a moose. And then he had a, Jordan Jonas. And Jordan had to fight off a wolverine with an axe, cause the wolverine was trying to steal the fat from his moose.

• 45:33Speaker 04

  And plus the wolverine can regenerate, so how are you gonna kill him, you know?

• 45:36Joe Rogan?

  He killed a wolverine on camera with a fucking axe.

• 45:38Speaker 03

  They gotta like hang the meat. If they get like a good kill in the beginning, they gotta like hang the meat and keep it for as long as they can keep it.

• 45:45Joe Rogan?

  And if an animal comes and gets you, like, there ain't nobody there to help you.

• 45:48Speaker 03

  Not in time, probably.

• 45:49Joe Rogan?

  You're fucked. If that wolverine turned on him, if it just got a hold of his calf and just ripped his Achilles tendon apart and he started gushing blood out of his leg. One hundred percent, he's bleeding out before anybody gets to him.

• 46:00Speaker 04

  They give you a phone if you wanna tap out. You like, it's one button and they're like, yeah, come get me. They bring in a helicopter like two days later and they get you out.

• 46:07Joe Rogan?

  Bro, a lady got killed.

• 46:08Speaker 02

  Two days later?

• 46:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:09Joe Rogan?

  A lady got killed a few years ago, not on the show, but a lady got killed by an otter. An otter killed her.

• 46:16Speaker 04

  What a weak bitch.

• 46:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, chicks, right?

• 46:17Joe Rogan?

  I think, I think if it bites the inside of your thigh, I think you're fucked. I think if it penetrates through one of those arteries.

• 46:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, you could bleed out.

• 46:26Joe Rogan?

  I think you just start spraying. And if you don't have a tourniquet and you don't know how to apply it correctly, you're fucked.

• 46:32Speaker 03

  I was picturing more like the otter had disgusting viruses in its mouth or something and then she got like her leg like amputated or something, but-

• 46:39Joe Rogan?

  She was a certified swim instructor from Reno on a routine, routine morning swim. An otter grabbed her leg with human-like force and pulled her underwater. The animal tore off her goggles and repeatedly bit and clawed her face, nose, cheek, armpits and legs for about five minutes. She thought, she fought the animal off, used her swimming skills to climb up onto the boulders, though the otter followed her out of the water and circled below.

• 47:03Speaker 04

  Jesus.

• 47:03Joe Rogan?

  She sustained deep bites and scratches requiring thirty-eight stitches, plus rabies and tetanus vaccinations. So that guy, that lady lived. But there was a lady a few years back who got killed.

• 47:15Speaker 04

  I'll fuck up an otter, Joe. You have these conversations about trying to like choke out a mountain lion. I'll fucking fuck up an otter.

• 47:21Speaker 03

  Bro, you would be so, you wouldn't even know what's, you're like, is this an otter coming at? What is that?

• 47:25Speaker 04

  Is that a seal? I don't know. To be honest with you, I couldn't tell. I couldn't identify an otter.

• 47:28Speaker 02

  I think I would run till my legs didn't work and then accept death. I would just be like, well, here we go. Or I'd try to like choke it. I would try to like person fight it.

• 47:36Speaker 04

  It's always thumb in the eye, punch it in the tip of the nose, something like that.

• 47:40Joe Rogan?

  You gotta get behind its head. You gotta grab, you gotta get control of behind its head. It's not a big animal. But it's the chaos of the moment and it's the fear and you're fighting it off. Most important thing is control. You have to control its head. And then pin that fucker down. And then you put your body weight on him. And then you kill him.

• 47:59Speaker 02

  And then I whisper in his ear, you made me do this to you.

• 48:02Joe Rogan?

  This lady was another lady. I was viciously attacked by a group of otters, bro.

• 48:07Speaker 06

  Ten different otters got her at once.

• 48:08Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god.

• 48:09Speaker 04

  It's like the Cornell of otters.

• 48:10Speaker 02

  Man, Asians feel nothing.

• 48:12Joe Rogan?

  Tearing my arms, legs and even the back of my scalp. Holy fuck, man. Yeah, like if you're a small person like this lady and a group of otters comes and gets you.

• 48:22Speaker 06

  I don't even think she was in the water. It sounds like she was out.

• 48:24Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god, she was in the parking lot.

• 48:26Speaker 04

  Well, that would take me off guard.

• 48:27Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god.

• 48:28Speaker 04

  If I was in a supermarket parking lot and a bunch of otters jumped out, I'd be like, fuck, what's happening?

• 48:32Speaker 03

  Is that what you're calling now, otters?

• 48:34Joe Rogan?

  Imagine though, trying to explain to the cop, oh, she pulled out her camera. Of course she did.

• 48:38Speaker 02

  Listen, I couldn't resist capturing the moment on video, marveling at how endearing these creatures seem.

• 48:43Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's crazy.

• 48:44Speaker 04

  She was gushing about how adorable they were.

• 48:47Joe Rogan?

  I was in Utah a couple of years ago and I saw a badger on the road and it was at nighttime and I ran out with my phone to try to get a film of the badger. And the badger puffed up and started like marching towards me and I fucking panicked like a little girl, like.

• 49:00Joe Rogan?

  Ran and got back in the truck.

• 49:01Speaker 03

  How does a bad, like, it puffed up like it's like-

• 49:03Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it got like this. It got like this, like, whoa bitch! And started literally just walking straight towards me, like, not nervous about me at all.

• 49:11Speaker 02

  I think that's the energy of most animals. Ducks cross the street, all the cars just sit there and wait.

• 49:17Joe Rogan?

  Those are urban ducks.

• 49:18Speaker 02

  They don't speed up. They just gotta take a soft like little like, yeah, it's gonna take a minute.

• 49:22Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but when you shoot at them, they get accustomed to flying away very quickly.

• 49:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:26Joe Rogan?

  See, this is why the difference, like, you ever see those Colorado towns where elk just wander through the towns? It's crazy.

• 49:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:32Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, there's, uh, Evergreen, Colorado. Uh, there's a place, uh, that's above Boulder. It's beautiful. And one of the things about Evergreen is they have a migration of elk that go through the fucking center of the town every year. So through the center of the town, you're, you're hanging out trying to go to work and there's forty elk in the middle of the street. Like, here's one, just chilling. Just fucks this guy's car up. There's a great video of a guy who's, uh, trying to talk shit to an elk and it flattens his tire. But, uh, in Evergreen, there's like march, but that's because no one's shooting at them. Here they are. So they're accustomed, in their world, they have patterned that, oh, if you go near the roads and you go near the buildings, no one shoots you. So that's what they do.

• 50:15Speaker 04

  This is an average street with deer in New Jersey. I don't know how long it's been since you've been in New Jersey, but it's crazy, dude.

• 50:21Joe Rogan?

  Texas too. But these are elk. So this is like, the males are an eight hundred pound animal and they're wandering down the streets and they're everywhere. But if you saw them in the woods, they would fucking smell you and run from you immediately. They would never, yeah, so it's the same thing with ducks. Like, the ducks are respa, like, was waddling across the street because they know no one wants to run them over because they're cute. Like, hey, there's a massive fucking herd on the side of this road. Oh, that one's got a collar on, pimpin'.

• 50:48Speaker 02

  What are these?

• 50:49Joe Rogan?

  That's an elk. That's a female elk. So look, they're in the middle of the road, just chilling. It's because the Elk Meadow Park.

• 50:59Speaker 02

  Elk Meadow Park.

• 50:59Joe Rogan?

  It's their spot.

• 51:00Speaker 02

  Maybe don't drive there.

• 51:02Joe Rogan?

  You know, that's probably Colorado. Yeah, Colorado has more elk, more population, a larger population of elk than any other state.

• 51:09Speaker 02

  And you're allowed to hunt them?

• 51:11Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you can hunt them. It's, it's, you have to get a tag and it's hard to find them. It's like you'll find those that are in the towns, but once you go into the mountains, they know what's going on. They know the game is afoot.

• 51:22Speaker 03

  Is there, uh, can you hunt them with shotguns and arrows or do you have to just do one?

• 51:27Joe Rogan?

  No, you can use, it's depending on what time of the year. So there's an archery season. It's usually early. So September is the archery season and then you can only use archery equipment in a lot of states. And then there's a rifle season afterwards and then there's a late archery season.

• 51:41Speaker 03

  They, I think on Long Island, you can only kill the deer with a bow and arrow. No.

• 51:45Joe Rogan?

  Well, that's because you're in a fucking.

• 51:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, you can't start shooting off guns. Yeah.

• 51:49Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but bows and arrows, even then, you got wahoos. Like, uh, our friend Bruce out there, one of his fucking neighbors at their house got hit by a crossbow bolt. Cause the neighbors are, they're poaching deer.

• 52:00Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 52:01Joe Rogan?

  There's just deer in their neighborhood. They're everywhere. And look, deer are fucking delicious. And, you know, I feel like I could go hunting or I could just go right here and shoot a deer and drag it into my garage. No one's gotta know.

• 52:12Speaker 02

  They come up to and they eat my hydrangeas. I want to beat them to death with a baseball bat.

• 52:16Joe Rogan?

  Not your hydrangeas.

• 52:17Speaker 03

  I, I have a batting cage in my house. So we got a deer got its antlers caught in the cage.

• 52:22Joe Rogan?

  Oh, no.

• 52:22Speaker 03

  And it was, fuck, I got the video. It's flipping, flipping, flipping. I'm away in Denver on the road. My wife's freaking out. She calls the cops. They send a female cop. She comes down, she looks at it and she goes, we're gonna wait for somebody back up, right?

• 52:36Speaker 02

  We'll wait for a male cop.

• 52:37Speaker 03

  I swear to God, a male cop shows up. He's like, he gets out of the car. He goes over to it, right? He grabs it by the neck, brings it down. He goes, you mind if I cut the net? And she, my wife goes, yeah. He goes, you should ask your husband. These are pretty expensive. She's like, cut the fucking net. She cuts the net and he, he, the deer gets out and it runs away. And he goes, chances are it's gonna be dead in like 10 minutes. Their hearts, like, he said, their heart, the adrenaline goes so fast, their hearts explode. Most ti- yeah, like most times they're like, they're so.

• 53:04Speaker 02

  Sounds like an old wife.

• 53:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:07Joe Rogan?

  That doesn't make sense. Cause if they get away from a mountain lion, if they get lucky, like, don't they live? Like, what, what a stupid evolutionary trait.

• 53:14Speaker 02

  Well, he gave it the punch of death. So it hit.

• 53:16Speaker 03

  I don't know, but this thing was for like a half hour trying to rip itself out of this net dude. Hanging itself, swinging back and forth.

• 53:24Joe Rogan?

  Maybe.

• 53:25Speaker 02

  Do you think it's funny, Joe, how synonymous you are with elk meat? It's like a, it's like a Roganism thing. If someone's like, hey, I wanna do Rogan. He goes, what are you gonna guys have some elk meat and gloves? It's just like the obvious thing. I think you've taken pictures of elk before.

• 53:38Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah. A hundred percent.

• 53:40Speaker 02

  You cook it.

• 53:40Joe Rogan?

  Oh, I eat a lot of it.

• 53:42Speaker 02

  Are you a great cook? You cook all this stuff yourself?

• 53:44Joe Rogan?

  What is this? It's, yeah, I do. The condition's called capture myopathy, also known as exterial, extirinal?

• 53:53Speaker 02

  Exertional.

• 53:54Joe Rogan?

  Exertional, exertional myopathy. So deer can die from extreme stress and struggling after getting stuck in a fence. Wow.

• 54:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:01Joe Rogan?

  More than just simply being scared, intense fear, prolonged struggling, restraint can trigger severe muscle damage and overheating. Will potentially fatal effects on major organs.

• 54:11Speaker 02

  If you wouldn't mind, uh, Steve's got a big reading exam coming up soon. Steve, you want to take a whack at one of these paragraphs, please?

• 54:16Speaker 03

  Whoa. Uh, a deer may collapse during the ordeal or initially look okay after the release and then deteriorate hours or days later. Signs can include weakness, stiff muscles, tremors, dark urine and collapse.

• 54:29Joe Rogan?

  Who's out there checking deer urine? Let me check to see if Roscoe's gonna be okay.

• 54:34Speaker 03

  And collapse. That's a pretty good sign when the deer fucking collapses.

• 54:37Joe Rogan?

  Generally when they collapse.

• 54:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude, driving at night in Jersey is terrifying.

• 54:41Joe Rogan?

  Or Texas.

• 54:42Speaker 02

  You watch them on the side of the road. I, dude, they have a lot of deer in Texas, right?

• 54:45Joe Rogan?

  Everywhere.

• 54:45Speaker 02

  I think Jersey is the number one state for the most population. I could be wrong about that, but I believe it is.

• 54:49Joe Rogan?

  I think you might be right.

• 54:50Speaker 02

  And they jump, they jump out in front of your car and sometimes they'll jump through your window and then kick you to death and then fucking run away.

• 54:55Joe Rogan?

  My friend Cam, he lives in Oregon and a dude in his town died because the guy in front of him hit a deer.

• 55:01Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 55:01Joe Rogan?

  So the guy in front of him hit a deer and he's behind. The deer flips through the air and goes straight through his windshield.

• 55:07Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 55:07Joe Rogan?

  And just mercs him on the spot.

• 55:10Speaker 02

  Do you know who side neck is?

• 55:11Joe Rogan?

  What? Side neck?

• 55:12Speaker 02

  Do you know who side neck is? Bitch, I'm side neck?

• 55:15Joe Rogan?

  No.

• 55:15Speaker 02

  No? I would say.

• 55:17Joe Rogan?

  I don't know either. I don't think I've ever wanted to know anything more in my life.

• 55:20Speaker 03

  Side neck?

• 55:20Speaker 02

  He's a, I would say he's a Canadian phenomenon. Jamie, you familiar at all? Um, he's.

• 55:25Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that guy. I, I've seen that guy.

• 55:27Speaker 02

  He's side neck.

• 55:28Joe Rogan?

  Like he got paralyzed or something.

• 55:29Speaker 02

  Well, he's not paralyzed. What happened to him? We dug deep, deep dive. He's from Canada. He was driving, hit a moose. Moose came up on the windshield, uh, kicked through and like his legs went through the windshield and the moose buck like kicked his fucking head like a cartoon.

• 55:47Joe Rogan?

  No.

• 55:48Speaker 02

  I swear to God. And he got, the moose kicked his head to the side forever. And now he's side neck.

• 55:54Joe Rogan?

  Well, it seems like his right arm doesn't work, right?

• 55:57Speaker 02

  No, no, no. He explains it all in the one song.

• 56:00Joe Rogan?

  He explains the moose, the whole thing?

• 56:02Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no.

• 56:03Joe Rogan?

  That's, he just leaves that part out?

• 56:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. He wrote a diss track on the moose.

• 56:07Joe Rogan?

  Why would you leave that part out of your origin story? That's one of the greatest origin stories of all time.

• 56:12Speaker 02

  He's probably waiting to get his legs under him and he's gonna really, he's gonna make it his opus. You know what I mean?

• 56:15Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. It's gonna be his fucking, that's gonna be the wall.

• 56:20Speaker 02

  He's not ready to address that just yet. Right now he's getting his feet wet.

• 56:23Speaker 03

  Did you ever see cross country, like runners get blasted by deer?

• 56:26Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 56:27Speaker 03

  Oh, dude, it's, yeah, like it'll just, they'll run right through you and fucking truck you, dude. Like you're not even there.

• 56:34Joe Rogan?

  I think the one that freaks me out the most is motorcycle guys.

• 56:37Speaker 03

  Oh, really?

• 56:37Joe Rogan?

  When they're going fast and canyon runs like, and then you just see a blur of brown and then boom. And then he's just.

• 56:47Speaker 03

  Damn, dude.

• 56:48Joe Rogan?

  And, you know, these fucking cats are on a bike going 70 miles an hour through the canyon sideways. And then a deer just jumps in front of them. Whee. Look at all this momentum. Plus the bones that you're running into and the, the possibility of a fucking antler going through your face.

• 57:04Speaker 03

  It's not good.

• 57:05Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you're fucked, man. I mean, if you get hit, I don't care if you have a ga- your goggles on. Is that gonna protect you from an antler at 70 miles an hour? Like straight pouring to the center of your fucking head?

• 57:15Speaker 03

  No, look at this. I hit my head in my wife's fucking trunk, dude. You think I'm gonna survive a goddamn deer collapse?

• 57:24Speaker 03

  That's hilarious, dude. No way.

• 57:25Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, fuck, fuck riding a bike and getting hit by a deer. Just wah, having a good time, fucking freedom. I love the idea of getting a motorcycle, but I'm too much of a pussy to pull the trigger.

• 57:36Speaker 02

  That's not pussy. That's not pussy.

• 57:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:39Joe Rogan?

  It's just being smart.

• 57:39Speaker 03

  It's reality at this point.

• 57:41Speaker 02

  I, I, same thing. I've always wanted.

• 57:43Joe Rogan?

  They're so fun.

• 57:43Speaker 02

  I've always wanted to ride a motorcycle. The only time I've been on a motorcycle was twice on the back, holding a man's waist. While my calves got burned by the exhaust.

• 57:53Joe Rogan?

  I went and, uh, here, this guy gets wiped. Check this. Boom. Oh, fuck. Trees, bike's fucked.

• 58:02Speaker 03

  Holy shit.

• 58:03Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Holy shit. And deer, watch this. He doesn't even have a chance. Boom.

• 58:10Speaker 03

  My God.

• 58:12Joe Rogan?

  Fuck.

• 58:13Speaker 02

  I'll tell you the saddest thing I've ever seen when driving home in Jersey is when you see a dead one on the side of the road and there's another one standing next to it. Like just sad about it. Like, you're like.

• 58:22Joe Rogan?

  Especially a baby and the mama.

• 58:24Speaker 02

  It's like, it's like looking out, it's like looking out after, it's like, it's like standing in front of it almost like so the cars don't hit. It's weird.

• 58:30Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 58:30Speaker 02

  It's never sad. I say good, good riddance every time.

• 58:32Joe Rogan?

  The only solution is to have predators in your neighborhood. And that's not good either.

• 58:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm on a registry for that.

• 58:39Joe Rogan?

  And then they start eating your dogs and cats. That's how California handles it. Like California with their mountain lion crisis. Like they wanna pretend it's not a crisis. They fucking captured mountain lions in San Francisco and they do a, uh, they check out their digestion, see what they're eating. 50% of their diet was pets.

• 58:55Speaker 03

  Really?

• 58:56Joe Rogan?

  Whoa. Yeah.

• 58:57Speaker 03

  Cats and dogs and.

• 58:58Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, man. Yeah, man. They're monsters. They're fucking monsters.

• 59:03Speaker 02

  That happens a lot too. Uh, it'll be like a dog at the edge of like a little lake in Florida or like a bottle of water. Then an alligator comes out and just pulls him in.

• 59:10Joe Rogan?

  When I was a kid, I lived in Florida. I lived in Gainesville and this lady had like some little poodle type dog or something. And she's just walking on the thing and this gator just came up and snatched it and dragged it into the water. It was the talk of the town.

• 59:23Speaker 02

  Yeah. There was one guy who jumped in and got the dog back from the alligator. It's a famous, it's a famous story. Yeah. Say hi, dude. For my dog.

• 59:30Speaker 03

  Say hi.

• 59:31Joe Rogan?

  Oh, I remember that. There was a video of it.

• 59:33Speaker 02

  A few years ago, yeah.

• 59:34Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it was a, a, a old guy, right? And he's like beating the fucking alligator. Let's go of his dog.

• 59:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:39Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Fuck, yeah, dude. I would do that for my dog. I got a little dog too. I have a regular sized dog. I have a golden retriever, but then I have this little dog. It's a King Charles Caval- is it, here's the guy.

• 59:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, I have a cocker spaniel.

• 59:52Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. It's a little ass alligator and his dog. That guy's getting his fucking fingers right there in the jaws, man. That's crazy and he gets it loose.

• 1:00:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's a cocker spaniel.

• 1:00:02Joe Rogan?

  And then you gotta pull it apart like how King Kong killed that lizard.

• 1:00:05Speaker 04

  Yup.

• 1:00:05Joe Rogan?

  Remember? Just fucking rips his shirt. Ah!

• 1:00:08Speaker 03

  Fucking splits it in half.

• 1:00:09Joe Rogan?

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• 1:00:52Joe Rogan?

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• 1:01:02Speaker 04

  Rips its jaw off.

• 1:01:03Joe Rogan?

  That's what you gotta do, that fuck. And then you turn that thing into a belt. Fuck you. You fucking cunt. But anyway, I have a King Charles Cavalier. Like, I've never really been into little dogs. I fucking love this little guy so much. He's so enthusiastic. He's so fun. Like, all he wants to do is just kiss you and jump all over you. And he's like, he's a puppy, he's like a year and a half old. But like, when I come home, he's like, wah! He just goes fucking crazy. He leaps up, I pick him up, he's kissing me, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Just squirming and having fun. He's just, he just loves being around people. He's so sweet. He's like the sweetest little dog ever. It's like, oh, I get it. It's not gonna guard your house. It's not, it's not, there's nothing.

• 1:01:41Speaker 04

  No, but they think they will. My, dude, my cocker spaniel, she thinks she's a fucking, like a beast. She barks, she's like, wah, wah, wah, wah, right out the front window.

• 1:01:48Joe Rogan?

  At least they let you know something's up, you know?

• 1:01:51Speaker 02

  There is an interesting thing. I have a dog for the first time, four years now. First dog I've ever had in my life, so I never quite got it before. But I do feel the sense of, uh, I want it to have more appreciation.

• 1:02:03Joe Rogan?

  Want the dog to have more appreciation?

• 1:02:05Speaker 02

  There's no real appreciation show of a dog. You're like, man, you were found in a box on the side of the road. Look at your life now.

• 1:02:10Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, look at.

• 1:02:11Speaker 02

  Why are you just staring at me? Why are you not licking my face constantly? Uh, I'm judgmental of her for it.

• 1:02:17Joe Rogan?

  That's hilarious.

• 1:02:18Speaker 02

  It is interesting. But I also think that my dog, if she was taken by somebody tomorrow, like kidnapped, she would just be like, I love you now.

• 1:02:26Speaker 04

  Oh, they all would. They all would. There's no loyalty like that. They have like probably a half a day of memory.

• 1:02:31Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I don't know about that. Some dogs get very attached to people.

• 1:02:34Speaker 03

  Dude, you see those videos of like, what was the latest one? There was a guy, it was an ex, like, uh, Marine going through TSA and a fucking dog jumps over the TSA people and just starts going crazy for him. And it was like his military dog from when he was in the milit-

• 1:02:50Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:50Speaker 03

  Am I fucking that up or something like that?

• 1:02:52Joe Rogan?

  No, you're not at all. You're not at all.

• 1:02:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, but do you think the dog was depressed without him or he just saw him and was like, oh shit?

• 1:02:56Speaker 03

  I'm sure Jamie can find it.

• 1:02:57Joe Rogan?

  He was probably okay without him, but that's his favorite person.

• 1:03:00Speaker 03

  It was like crazy that dog.

• 1:03:02Joe Rogan?

  It's not real, Jamie?

• 1:03:03Speaker 06

  AI generated.

• 1:03:04Joe Rogan?

  No! Damn it!

• 1:03:06Speaker 06

  He was one of the first ones that got everybody.

• 1:03:07Joe Rogan?

  No! Are you serious?

• 1:03:09Speaker 04

  Seth MacFarlane. That dog didn't give a shit about that guy.

• 1:03:12Joe Rogan?

  Fuckin', ay!

• 1:03:13Speaker 02

  Seth MacFarlane did a cartoon thing with that where they see a wolf over the ridge and then they tell the whole story of like, that's a wolf that he saw years ago. And then they get up to it and it just wasn't the wolf and it eats them all.

• 1:03:22Joe Rogan?

  Oh, man. There is a real video, though, of one where the guy meets it at the airport. And, uh, the dog doesn't recognize him immediately. It takes a few seconds and then figures it out and then starts wagging his tail like crazy and kissing him.

• 1:03:35Speaker 03

  Ari showed me when he came back from his like, you know, trip with wherever the hell he went, all over the world. He had his dog like at his house and what he did was he put his shoes down before he came into the house and they had him. And, and the dog started smelling his shoes and went crazy. And then just started looking around the house and then Ari came in and went nuts. But he's like, they just smell, they know what like that, what their owners feel like.

• 1:03:57Joe Rogan?

  Well, Ari's dog's a good example. That dog Bandit. That dog is one hundred percent attached to Ari. Like, when Ari goes to the bathroom here, it waits outside the bathroom door, just sits there. And you can't talk to it. You can't like, hey Bandit, what's going on? It doesn't give a fuck about you.

• 1:04:10Speaker 04

  Is that good or bad? I always find that that kind of a test, it's hard to leave me away.

• 1:04:14Joe Rogan?

  I think that was a rescue dog. And I think that dog had a horrible life and now it has an amazing life.

• 1:04:18Speaker 03

  Yup.

• 1:04:18Joe Rogan?

  So it associates that guy with the love. That guy's, that's my, that's my savior.

• 1:04:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:23Speaker 04

  And that's the kind of appreciation, I don't think this fucking bitch is giving me.

• 1:04:30Joe Rogan?

  Well, different dogs are different ways, you know, like some dogs.

• 1:04:33Speaker 03

  You had, I, I had a big dog and now we don't have one, but we're thinking about getting another one. And the consensus is to get a small dog, which I'm sort of like, ah. But it's not a bad deal, I guess, right?

• 1:04:44Joe Rogan?

  Well, I have two dogs.

• 1:04:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:45Joe Rogan?

  So the other dog is a normal sized dog. He's a golden retriever. And, you know, he, he's the worst watchdog than the little dog. He loves everybody. That dog has no favorites. Everybody's his best friend. Like, everybody who comes over the house, if you guys all came out, he would just go to you to get pet and then go to you to get pet and then go to you to get pet and then come and check in on me.

• 1:05:03Speaker 04

  It's like my ex-girlfriend.

• 1:05:06Speaker 04

  It's any man.

• 1:05:08Speaker 02

  My dog's like that too, that's why I feel like.

• 1:05:10Joe Rogan?

  Many men.

• 1:05:12Speaker 02

  If my dog though growled at somebody or just instinct didn't like somebody, I would trust that instinct because she's same way. It's like she loves everybody, so if she was not, not into someone, I'd be like, this guy's got, it's like, uh, I wonder the power you touch him and see his murders he's committed.

• 1:05:25Speaker 04

  My dog was super attached to me for a minute. We, and when me and my girlfriend would have sex, like she would go outside of the door and she would just scratch at the door and whine. And it was the most distracting thing. Then I'd let her in, she'd just sit on the top of the pillow and stare at us while we were fucking.

• 1:05:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, you have to invite her in.

• 1:05:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:05:41Speaker 02

  It's polite.

• 1:05:41Speaker 04

  She's licking the sweat off my head.

• 1:05:44Joe Rogan?

  That's crazy.

• 1:05:45Speaker 02

  Yeah. Get over here, puddles.

• 1:05:47Speaker 04

  Come here.

• 1:05:47Joe Rogan?

  My dog has zero instincts. Like, zero survival instincts. It's, he's hilarious. He ate two pounds of gravel. There was some chicken, chicken food. Some chicken food got spilled on the gravel, so he ate the chicken food and then just kept eating. And, uh, the way we found out is, uh, I, I came home and he was, looked fucked up. Like, it just didn't look good. I'm like, you okay, buddy? And then, bah! He vomits up a bunch of rocks and then he has diarrhea. The diarrhea has rocks in it. I'm like, what the fuck? I take him outside, he's running around, shitting all over the place and throwing up. Then I have to take him to the vet and they go, yeah, he swallowed a bunch of these. We're gonna keep him overnight, see if he gets, see how it works. So he comes out, he's got an IV in his arm and a fucking cone, it's a little bit sad, you know?

• 1:06:32Joe Rogan?

  And then, what does he do immediately? He finds a turtle in the backyard, eats that. Like, I mean, immediately, within days.

• 1:06:38Speaker 03

  With the shell and everything, he just like.

• 1:06:40Joe Rogan?

  He found a fucking turtle and he bit into the turtle and he ate turtle shells. I had to take him back to the hospital. He had just gotten the cone off. We didn't really have to keep the cone on him though, because he wasn't really fucking with his, uh, his IV bandage hole, where the area, that's what they, you gotta make sure they don't lick that spot. But he was, uh, he just doesn't have any instincts. He's just love. Like, everybody, like, if you come over the house, you could have a fucking machine gun and be wearing a mask and you'd be like, hello? Hello, I'm your friend.

• 1:07:08Speaker 02

  My dog doesn't give a fuck about fireworks, loud noises. She's never like startled.

• 1:07:12Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my dog panics with fireworks.

• 1:07:14Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 1:07:15Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he panics. The little one doesn't, but the big one, the Marshall, he hears fireworks like, ah, ah! He just starts running around the house and whining. Like, if you're trying to watch a movie and there's a storm outside, you're fucked.

• 1:07:26Speaker 02

  When's the last time you've really enjoyed fireworks shows?

• 1:07:28Speaker 03

  I love fireworks.

• 1:07:29Speaker 02

  Still?

• 1:07:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, my birthday's the fourth of July, dude.

• 1:07:31Joe Rogan?

  You know what I really love?

• 1:07:32Speaker 02

  I'm like, alright.

• 1:07:33Joe Rogan?

  I love cell phone videos of fireworks. I love going over my old cell phone videos of fireworks.

• 1:07:38Speaker 02

  Of ones that you saw personally?

• 1:07:40Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you gotta watch them over and over and over again, like, wow, what a memory. Has anybody ever watched a cell phone?

• 1:07:45Speaker 03

  No, I never, I watched them next day.

• 1:07:47Joe Rogan?

  And nobody ever watches it.

• 1:07:48Speaker 03

  And then they never watch it again. I have probably four hours of firework videos on my phone that I've never even looked at ever again.

• 1:07:54Speaker 02

  That's my feeling about concert phones always, because you're not gonna watch this. You're not gonna watch this.

• 1:07:59Joe Rogan?

  One of the wildest videos, and this is before AI, there's a dude, he's got, I don't know, an M80 or some kind of a, some kind of a firework in his hand and it blows off in his hand.

• 1:08:08Speaker 04

  Puerto Rican guy?

• 1:08:08Joe Rogan?

  Blows his hand sideways. Like, you see blood, it's pouring out of his hands, and then this dude shotguns a beer.

• 1:08:14Speaker 03

  Holy shit.

• 1:08:15Joe Rogan?

  While he's holding his hand. You could see the damage in his hands, his hand's blown apart.

• 1:08:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like a big Hispanic guy.

• 1:08:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:08:20Joe Rogan?

  And the dude shotguns a beer.

• 1:08:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:22Joe Rogan?

  While his hand's blown apart.

• 1:08:23Speaker 02

  And then it shows the aftermath, his hand's like done.

• 1:08:26Speaker 03

  Oh, my god. I created this thing that I do the fireworks in, like, it was part of our place, they play like structure. It's like a tube. So I put cinder blocks around it and I put the boxes in, so I light it. So in case it goes to the side, it fucking hits the tube. We've had, we've had boxes turned to the side and it just shoots in, it just, it's a plexi hit.

• 1:08:46Joe Rogan?

  Third floor window.

• 1:08:47Speaker 03

  Dude, that's what, I was, one year we didn't have the tube, it went into the bushes. People were fucking going out, running for everything.

• 1:08:54Joe Rogan?

  Lighting a roof on fire.

• 1:08:55Speaker 03

  Now I got the tube, dude, it just shoots straight up.

• 1:08:57Speaker 04

  So you do your own fireworks?

• 1:08:57Speaker 03

  I do my own, I buy like eight hundred dollars worth of fireworks.

• 1:09:00Joe Rogan?

  Oh, you're an animal.

• 1:09:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, I love it.

• 1:09:02Joe Rogan?

  Do they have those things?

• 1:09:03Speaker 03

  Your neighborhood problem.

• 1:09:03Joe Rogan?

  Where do you live?

• 1:09:04Speaker 03

  Long Island.

• 1:09:04Joe Rogan?

  In Long Island, do they have those places where it's like, uh, like a little stand?

• 1:09:08Speaker 03

  No, it's illegal in Long Island, so I gotta go to Pennsylvania.

• 1:09:11Speaker 04

  Well, you get them, uh, there's, you get it, like, in Jersey, you go to 7-Eleven and it's, the fireworks, they don't shoot up in the sky, they shoot like eight feet in the sky.

• 1:09:17Speaker 02

  They're okay.

• 1:09:18Speaker 04

  So they're kind of fun. You get a box for like forty bucks.

• 1:09:20Joe Rogan?

  In Texas, you can buy nuclear bombs.

• 1:09:24Joe Rogan?

  You can literally, you go, you go to the fucking, a truck that pulls over like on the corner of the road and you could buy things that you can't believe are illegal. I've launched these fucking things from my backyard, you watch them shoot in the sky, you're like, that's a real firework! Like a legit Disneyland firework.

• 1:09:42Speaker 03

  Goochy shit.

• 1:09:43Joe Rogan?

  Fuck a chee!

• 1:09:44Speaker 03

  Yup.

• 1:09:45Joe Rogan?

  Six, seven of them in a row. Look at these guys, animals. Look at the tube.

• 1:09:49Speaker 03

  That's the kind of tube I have.

• 1:09:51Speaker 02

  So, yeah.

• 1:09:51Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god, and they light it and run. Yeah, you could, you could buy those.

• 1:09:56Speaker 03

  Small fires run the neighborhood. Good call, Steve.

• 1:09:58Joe Rogan?

  You could buy those a mile from my house. Oh my god.

• 1:10:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, they can do anything here, dude. They gave Kurt Mesker a machine gun.

• 1:10:05Joe Rogan?

  Look at that. Look at that. That's, well, I launched one of those like that in my backyard. I'm not bullshitting. Here's the Texas-

• 1:10:12Speaker 02

  Is that a success?

• 1:10:14Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that's not good, dude. Look, you just give that to anybody, because they don't have to point it at the sky. Look how far that's going.

• 1:10:20Speaker 03

  That's what I'm saying, yeah.

• 1:10:21Joe Rogan?

  Imagine if you pointed that at your ex-girlfriend's house. You know, like, you set it up in the back of a pickup truck, wedged it in there, lit that fucker, just angled it right.

• 1:10:28Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, we used to have Roman candle fights when we were kids, when we were teenagers.

• 1:10:32Joe Rogan?

  Yep. Oh, Jesus Christ.

• 1:10:34Speaker 03

  We used to make chlorine bombs. Did you ever make a chlorine bomb?

• 1:10:37Speaker 02

  What? No.

• 1:10:37Joe Rogan?

  Is that the guy?

• 1:10:38Speaker 02

  I'm not a homegrown terrorist.

• 1:10:40Joe Rogan?

  Look at, his hand is blown apart. Oh my god!

• 1:10:44Speaker 02

  Oh, realize too, right there. Oh, it's not even the guy I was talking about.

• 1:10:48Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's horrible. That's horrible.

• 1:10:51Speaker 02

  No, you know what, that was in New York City, I think. I appreciate the guy's just like, well, this is already a situation.

• 1:10:56Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Rock, roll!

• 1:10:58Speaker 02

  Can't turn back time, right? So this is the situation.

• 1:11:00Joe Rogan?

  Only young ones, bro.

• 1:11:01Speaker 02

  The toothpaste is out of the tube, my friend. I'm already in my underwear. I'm already in my underwear on top of the car.

• 1:11:06Joe Rogan?

  Oh, look at it dripping.

• 1:11:07Speaker 03

  Dude, dangling.

• 1:11:08Joe Rogan?

  I mean, his hand is blown the fuck apart.

• 1:11:11Speaker 03

  It's like a claw now.

• 1:11:12Joe Rogan?

  And then he just drinks.

• 1:11:13Speaker 06

  What are you gonna do?

• 1:11:14Speaker 02

  Is that Uncle Laser?

• 1:11:15Joe Rogan?

  Uh...

• 1:11:16Speaker 03

  Fuck.

• 1:11:16Joe Rogan?

  I mean-

• 1:11:17Speaker 02

  Can you find the one of the guy in New York?

• 1:11:18Joe Rogan?

  I wonder what's left of that guy's hand. I wonder what-

• 1:11:20Speaker 02

  It's nuts.

• 1:11:21Joe Rogan?

  Before, can we find out what happened to that guy's hand?

• 1:11:23Speaker 06

  Uh, follow-up?

• 1:11:24Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, there's a follow-up.

• 1:11:25Speaker 02

  It actually works perfectly. Yeah.

• 1:11:27Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:28Speaker 02

  That's the thing.

• 1:11:28Joe Rogan?

  Maybe it's better.

• 1:11:30Speaker 03

  He's a Terminator.

• 1:11:31Joe Rogan?

  All the scar tissues somehow held the hand together in a better way.

• 1:11:34Speaker 03

  You never heard of chlorine bombs? We used to make those when we were kids. You take a two-liter bottle of, like, an empty two-liter bottle of soda, you go to the chlorine tablets? Crack up two of those, put them in the bottom.

• 1:11:43Speaker 02

  No, Steve, we didn't grow up with pools, asshole.

• 1:11:46Speaker 03

  Rubbing alcohol, twist it, shake it, and run, dude. And it just sizzles up and it just explodes. And if you're within, like, a perimeter, you get, like, you'll get knocked on your ass with a huff of chlorine.

• 1:11:57Joe Rogan?

  So you could potentially make one of those and chuck it into someone's window?

• 1:12:01Speaker 03

  You could put it in a mailbox, allegedly.

• 1:12:03Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, but it would take a while. The mailbox thing-

• 1:12:05Speaker 02

  Don't, though.

• 1:12:06Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, okay.

• 1:12:07Speaker 03

  You shake it, you put it in the mailbox- You have about fifteen seconds before it goes off.

• 1:12:12Joe Rogan?

  So, so if someone, it's like, someone's window was open, and, you know, you were-

• 1:12:17Speaker 03

  Throw it into it?

• 1:12:18Joe Rogan?

  You were on the ground floor and they were on the second floor, you could, like, put the lid on that fucker.

• 1:12:22Speaker 03

  Shake it, throw it in, dude.

• 1:12:23Joe Rogan?

  Ooh, that's the guy's hand. Oh my god!

• 1:12:25Speaker 06

  The other photo here is, uh, very graphic.

• 1:12:28Joe Rogan?

  Okay, let's go.

• 1:12:29Speaker 02

  His hand turned into a swastika.

• 1:12:30Joe Rogan?

  Let's go. Was the other photo, here we go. Here's the next photo. Oh my god! Oh! Oh my god! So he lost his whole hand.

• 1:12:40Speaker 02

  Did that open, it's like Terminator 2.

• 1:12:42Joe Rogan?

  Yes. That's crazy. That's crazy. Oh my god! He might have kept a finger. Fucking A, man.

• 1:12:49Speaker 02

  No, at that point, just cut it off.

• 1:12:50Speaker 03

  No, the whole hand's cut off.

• 1:12:51Joe Rogan?

  Give me one of them robot hands.

• 1:12:52Speaker 03

  Just, yeah, give me a claw, like, one of the new gadgets.

• 1:12:56Speaker 02

  I'll get that, the little Tyrannosaurus Rex head, like, they have on those stick things. How fun would that be?

• 1:13:00Speaker 03

  Don't they really have the ones you could just twist on and make a different, like, like, ones a hand, ones, like, you can-

• 1:13:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:06Speaker 03

  You know, like, a claw, yeah, like, for different usages.

• 1:13:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think James Bond, one of those James Bonds.

• 1:13:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:13:12Speaker 02

  That was a thing.

• 1:13:13Joe Rogan?

  I met a dude at the Comedy Store, it was this guy from Australia, and he got his, uh, hand and his leg bitten off by a shark. And so he had a carbon fiber leg and a carbon fiber hand. The guy walked around, no limp, and he could shake your hand.

• 1:13:26Speaker 02

  Light as a feather, too.

• 1:13:28Joe Rogan?

  Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, look, you get tools. Whoa.

• 1:13:32Speaker 02

  That's better than a real hand.

• 1:13:34Speaker 03

  That's better, dude, than having a deformed claw.

• 1:13:37Joe Rogan?

  Hmm, definitely better than having a claw. And maybe you could put a vibrator on the other end of that thing?

• 1:13:42Speaker 06

  It's definitely not better than having a hand.

• 1:13:44Joe Rogan?

  Definitely not better than having a hand.

• 1:13:45Speaker 02

  Joe, if you put a vibrator on, how are you gonna possibly get it in your ass? There's no angle.

• 1:13:48Joe Rogan?

  You could make an angle. There's another attachment.

• 1:13:52Speaker 02

  Oh, an elbow, I understand. Give you a bi- give you a vibrator. It's like that thing you gotta put between the, uh, front and back of the vacuum cleaner. The long piece.

• 1:14:01Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, the extension hose.

• 1:14:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, it articulates, you have to screw something in the middle of it, and then it comes out.

• 1:14:09Joe Rogan?

  Well, if they start making body parts that are better than our parts, it's gonna be a problem.

• 1:14:13Speaker 02

  Because people are gonna wanna be cyborgs.

• 1:14:15Joe Rogan?

  People already get fake tits. They don't like their tits, so they get a fake one, because it makes their tits look better. If you can get arms that worked way better, and you actually feel through them, there's gonna be dudes that get their arms hacked off.

• 1:14:27Speaker 02

  But how do you weigh out, like, that it's not like the psychosis of people who wanna just take off, you know what I mean? Like, now, now there's a real, gives people a reason who wanna do, you know, voluntary amputations.

• 1:14:36Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, like, healthy arms.

• 1:14:37Speaker 02

  No, that's what I'm saying, people who are like, I was not supposed to be born with this arm, I don't feel right with this left arm, you get it taken off, but like-

• 1:14:42Joe Rogan?

  Well, you could just not have any regulations and let people do that. Like, if it gets to the point where it's that good, you could just say, yeah, we're, you know, my body's fine, don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those people. But I'm forty-two, and I'm starting to feel it, and, uh, Mike got a whole fake body, and fucking Mike is just having so much fun. He's got so much more energy than me, and apparently no side effects. So you just go in there, take your fucking head off, and

• 1:15:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:15:10Joe Rogan?

  Screw it into some robot body.

• 1:15:12Speaker 03

  It's weird to be able to take healthy arms off.

• 1:15:15Joe Rogan?

  Do you know about that guy? There's this one guy that was, uh, he got, I think he was like, a doctor, and he had his legs removed. He, he had his legs voluntarily amputated. He tried to pretend for a long time that there was, like, something wrong with his legs, and had to get him amputated. But it turned out it was just a weird sexual fetish.

• 1:15:36Speaker 02

  So, uh-

• 1:15:37Joe Rogan?

  And so I think he got his license taken away, but this guy was a practicing doctor, I believe. Doctor jailed after getting his own legs amputated for sexual fetish, then making insurance claim. I mean, insurance claim!

• 1:15:49Speaker 02

  Well, that's the crazy part.

• 1:15:49Joe Rogan?

  A vascular surgeon in England was sentenced to thirty-two months in prison for insurance fraud and possession of extreme pornographic images. That's interesting. Like, the insurance fraud, I get, you put him in jail for that, but is extreme pornographic images, those are illegal?

• 1:16:05Speaker 02

  Because this chick, he, he met a hot, young chick that was like, I love getting stump fucked, and I just feel like you can't supply that for me.

• 1:16:11Joe Rogan?

  Sure, you're rich.

• 1:16:13Speaker 03

  Oh, man.

• 1:16:13Speaker 02

  Well, it's hilarious, his name is, his last name is Hopper.

• 1:16:19Joe Rogan?

  That's crazy. He had been packing his legs in ice.

• 1:16:23Speaker 02

  It sounds like a children's book about a very brave man.

• 1:16:25Joe Rogan?

  Look at this.

• 1:16:26Speaker 02

  Hopper couldn't hop anymore.

• 1:16:27Joe Rogan?

  He claimed that the, the injuries to his limbs were the result of sepsis, but in reality, Hopper had been packing his legs in ice and dry ice in an act of self-mutilation, authorities said. The defendant was paying a custo- uh, was a paying customer of a since-shuttered website that sold videos of amputations and body modification, including penises being removed. So that's what he got arrested for, as well as insurance claim?

• 1:16:54Speaker 02

  Do you remember those videos from back in the day, the, uh, body modification extreme?

• 1:16:58Joe Rogan?

  Oh yeah, BME, yeah.

• 1:16:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude, that was a cra- half of it was fake, but some of it was real.

• 1:17:02Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, no, a lot of it was real.

• 1:17:03Speaker 02

  Yeah. Guys who, like, just, like, fucking sliced their dicks open with razor blades, like, crazy.

• 1:17:09Joe Rogan?

  Do you know Devin LaRott, the world champion arm wrestler? Do you know who that guy is?

• 1:17:12Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:17:13Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, his brother was the guy who ran, uh, body modification extreme, Shannon. Shannon LaRott, I was friends with him.

• 1:17:19Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:17:20Joe Rogan?

  He ran that website, yeah.

• 1:17:22Speaker 05

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• 1:17:52Joe Rogan?

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• 1:18:56Speaker 02

  What an awful thing to take submissions for every day.

• 1:18:59Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:00Speaker 02

  Is this good enough?

• 1:19:00Joe Rogan?

  Just the amount of shit you're seeing.

• 1:19:02Speaker 03

  You're gonna look at.

• 1:19:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, I filleted my asshole. Maybe, put it in the baby pile.

• 1:19:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:19:07Joe Rogan?

  Packing his legs with dry ice to kill them. And then claiming he's got sepsis, so he needs his legs removed. Like, that's wild.

• 1:19:15Speaker 02

  The fact that people can sexualize everything is great.

• 1:19:17Joe Rogan?

  Everything.

• 1:19:18Speaker 02

  Remember how ridiculous the movie was Crash, where it was like they have to be in car accidents while they fuck?

• 1:19:22Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:19:23Speaker 02

  Like, it's how dumb it, but people are in the, that's not as the strangest thing in the world now.

• 1:19:28Joe Rogan?

  It's stupid, but it's like, yeah, I could see, there might be one case of that.

• 1:19:33Speaker 02

  I don't know if I have sexualization in anything other than sexual stuff.

• 1:19:37Joe Rogan?

  Good for you.

• 1:19:37Speaker 02

  I don't have like, I never get the foot thing. Never got foot fetishes.

• 1:19:42Speaker 04

  Come on, a nice foot?

• 1:19:43Speaker 02

  No, no, you're a weirdo, for sure.

• 1:19:45Speaker 03

  Nice feet are pretty.

• 1:19:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:19:46Joe Rogan?

  For sure.

• 1:19:47Speaker 04

  Small feet, size six on a woman?

• 1:19:49Joe Rogan?

  But they turn you on, they like really get your dick hard, that's a slippery slope.

• 1:19:52Speaker 04

  No, putting it in my mouth, like putting a toe in my mouth turns me on. Not like looking at, looking at feet, that's weird. But if a girl puts her foot in my mouth, a little musty after the gym?

• 1:20:01Joe Rogan?

  Ooh.

• 1:20:01Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah.

• 1:20:04Speaker 02

  Every time I dug, I was gonna be like, well, I do, nope.

• 1:20:09Speaker 03

  This little piggy stinks. No.

• 1:20:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, this little piggy came right from work, huh?

• 1:20:15Joe Rogan?

  My Instagram algorithm is a mess. And I had this one that popped up the other day, it's an insert that women put in the bottom of their shoes. So the bottom of their shoes, like between their foot and the shoes, like the bottom, like the insole is like a fleshlight. And she was sticking bananas, like lubing up her feet and sticking bananas in between her foot and the spongy part. You know, like saying like, look, you could fuck the bottom of my foot.

• 1:20:39Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:20:39Joe Rogan?

  And I just shot my phone off. I said, I'm not doing this anymore.

• 1:20:42Speaker 03

  Just send me that video, Joe, when you get a chance. I just wanted to see how accurate.

• 1:20:46Speaker 02

  I know, but they'll hold their feet together to create the hole, right? So they put their feet together and then you could fuck the, like the soles of their feet, like the arch.

• 1:20:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:20:54Speaker 02

  Create like, yeah, I've heard.

• 1:20:56Joe Rogan?

  So I've heard.

• 1:20:58Speaker 03

  I mean, feet is probably better than like wanting to fuck furniture or something like that, if you're gonna have a proclivity to something really bad. But I mean, like, imagine.

• 1:21:05Speaker 04

  How about you guys stop being so fucking judgmental?

• 1:21:07Speaker 03

  I'm just saying, like, if you had to have one.

• 1:21:09Speaker 02

  Pretty much one and the same.

• 1:21:11Speaker 03

  No, they're not, dude.

• 1:21:13Speaker 02

  No, I just, uh, the, listen, I said, I'm not like a party stopper, so if a girl had nice feet and was like, I want you to suck my toes, I would.

• 1:21:21Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:21:22Speaker 02

  But I would never, I would never grab her ankle and stuff her fucking onion foot in my face.

• 1:21:27Speaker 04

  She's got hammer toe.

• 1:21:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, I like a working girl.

• 1:21:30Joe Rogan?

  Knock a tooth loose.

• 1:21:33Joe Rogan?

  It is weird, the things that people can sexualize.

• 1:21:37Speaker 02

  That's what I mean, like.

• 1:21:37Speaker 04

  It's all, I think everyone's on a spectrum of whatever like their freak is, like whatever the freakiest thing you like is on a spectrum, unquestionably.

• 1:21:44Joe Rogan?

  Well, that's one of the weirder things about this whole trans movement. And there's nothing against trans people. But there was a real thing that existed before people just identify with the opposite sex and just feel like you're born in the wrong body. Like, I don't know what that feels like. I don't, you know, I'm not judgmental. But what I am curious about is whatever happened to autogynephilia? So autogynephilia is a real psychological condition where men get turned on, dressing up as women. But they're not into men. They're into, they don't identify as a woman. They're a man.

• 1:22:17Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:22:17Joe Rogan?

  Who gets turned on by dressing up as women. It's been in the like psychological literature forever. And that these guys wanna have sex with women, but they wanna dress up like a woman. Like, now.

• 1:22:27Speaker 02

  Like the professors who wear like panties under their fucking toes.

• 1:22:30Speaker 04

  Wasn't like Herbert Hoover a cross dresser or something like that?

• 1:22:33Joe Rogan?

  Allegedly. Allegedly.

• 1:22:35Speaker 06

  The website he was on was not just a weird.

• 1:22:38Joe Rogan?

  Oh, the surgeon that got his legs removed?

• 1:22:40Speaker 06

  Yeah, man.

• 1:22:41Joe Rogan?

  Oh, boy. What was it?

• 1:22:43Speaker 06

  Unicmaker.com.

• 1:22:45Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god. Fetish website featuring videos of men and boys either maiming themselves or allowing others to mutilate them on camera.

• 1:22:53Speaker 03

  That'll get you put in jail.

• 1:22:55Speaker 04

  Is that not in the dark web? It's gotta be dark web.

• 1:22:57Speaker 03

  That'll get you put in jail.

• 1:22:58Speaker 04

  There's no hiding that, if somebody checks your search history and you have Unicmaker.com.

• 1:23:02Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god. Michael says his castration earned him sixty dollars or sixty pounds, which didn't even cover the cost of his travel.

• 1:23:10Speaker 02

  Oh, man. I cut my dick off and all I got was sixty pounds? That's a good shirt.

• 1:23:14Joe Rogan?

  My castration.

• 1:23:15Speaker 02

  I cut my cock off and all I got was sixty pounds.

• 1:23:18Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god.

• 1:23:19Speaker 02

  And the shirt.

• 1:23:20Speaker 03

  Dude, I have it again.

• 1:23:21Joe Rogan?

  People are, did, people get into the most fucked up things.

• 1:23:25Speaker 02

  Is that just like, uh, like a level of chemical imbalance in you, or is that traumatized into you?

• 1:23:32Joe Rogan?

  That's a good question.

• 1:23:33Speaker 02

  Like if someone's just like, I can't even get hard unless someone, this is a clown in the room.

• 1:23:38Joe Rogan?

  Or unless some, what's the matter?

• 1:23:40Speaker 06

  Well, so here, I was trying to find what he got, cause he got arrested for three counts of having extreme pornography and I was hoping some article would say what it was, and here we go.

• 1:23:48Speaker 03

  Here we go.

• 1:23:49Speaker 04

  Steve?

• 1:23:49Joe Rogan?

  Okay, the first video cost Hopper ten, ten pounds. It shows Gustafson castrating another man. The second costing thirty-five pounds features a man tied to a bed while Gustafson rolls dice to decide which body parts to remove. The man ended up losing his penis and testicles and bled so much that Gustafson called an ambulance, all with the camera still rolling. In a third video, also costing Hopper thirty-five pounds, a man cut off his own penis and holds it up to the camera. Fuck.

• 1:24:21Speaker 02

  This is, this is bizarrely affordable.

• 1:24:26Speaker 04

  The prices, these dudes, these are way low prices. It's not one, it's like the only, like OnlyFans, a girl will sell her tits for twenty bucks, but it's like a thousand dudes are buying them.

• 1:24:34Speaker 06

  Yeah, but you can get a bundle, I'm sure.

• 1:24:36Speaker 02

  Okay, but that's just showing your tits, this is filleting your, opening your cock like a hot dog bun.

• 1:24:40Speaker 04

  I wanna watch Steve fillet his own cock.

• 1:24:42Speaker 03

  I almost did that day, dude. Holy shit.

• 1:24:45Speaker 02

  Next year's, uh, end of the summer games.

• 1:24:47Speaker 03

  What about like if you, like, say I had a Prince Albert, would you think about me differently? Would you be like, oh?

• 1:24:51Joe Rogan?

  That's like a rod through your cock.

• 1:24:52Speaker 03

  The rod through the head.

• 1:24:54Joe Rogan?

  I'd say, you got problems. I would say generally, generally a dude with metal in his dick.

• 1:24:59Speaker 02

  There's, there's a thing.

• 1:25:00Joe Rogan?

  I mean, I'm not judging.

• 1:25:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:25:01Speaker 02

  Guys get implants in their dicks, their dicks are like bumped, like, you know, they like ribbed for her pleasure, like they make their dick.

• 1:25:07Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:25:07Speaker 02

  Ribbed for her pleasure.

• 1:25:08Speaker 03

  That's called herpes.

• 1:25:10Joe Rogan?

  A rabbit hole. So, uh, on Instagram, they can't show dick enhancement operations, but they do link to their YouTube. And so somehow in my fucking pop-up, I see this guy.

• 1:25:21Speaker 04

  Somehow.

• 1:25:21Joe Rogan?

  Who's looking, he's, he's got this piece of something in his hand that looks remarkably similar to Ren Zizi's fucking fish filet. And he's like moving this thing around and saying, this is going to add three inches and two inches of diameter. And he's like explaining all the different things this is gonna do. And then you realize like, oh, that's going in a dick. He can't show it to you, but then he talks to the guys afterwards, he says, tell me about the experience, like, oh, I'm so happy. It's, he looks amazing. I look at it in the mirror, it looks amazing. And then it's like, check out more on my YouTube channel. Like, ah, you got me. So on the YouTube channel, you're, you see the dicks. You, it's a medical procedure.

• 1:26:00Speaker 04

  Dick enlargement.

• 1:26:00Joe Rogan?

  You can look at a lot of dicks on YouTube, as long as it's in a medical context. So you're seeing these guys puffed up hogs, where they're, they're taking this like thing. And they're uncutting where the ball meets the dick. And they're shoving this sheath in, this plastic sheet that stretches it out and plumps it up.

• 1:26:24Speaker 04

  Jay considered getting liposuction on his foot to make his dick bigger. That's a real story.

• 1:26:28Speaker 02

  Well, so it's not gonna make it bigger, it'll show bigger.

• 1:26:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:26:31Joe Rogan?

  It'll show bigger, like a nice house with good furniture.

• 1:26:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to judge it up.

• 1:26:37Speaker 04

  It's a real thing, guys.

• 1:26:39Speaker 02

  What took me out of it, I went for the, uh, you know, what do you call it?

• 1:26:43Speaker 04

  Consultation.

• 1:26:43Speaker 02

  Consultation. And I don't know why I didn't see this coming for some, like, I was like, well, of course, he's gotta see the situation that he wants to get in there and fix, yeah. So he just comes in and sits in a stool where he is eye level with my dick.

• 1:26:59Speaker 02

  And he goes, pull your pants down? And I was like, ah, shit. So I pull him down to my knees. And he goes, now come over here in the mirror. And I'm like, oh, I don't wanna do this part either.

• 1:27:08Speaker 04

  Now kiss me.

• 1:27:10Speaker 02

  He goes, um, he goes, okay, this is how your penis looks when you're standing naturally now.

• 1:27:16Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:27:17Speaker 02

  And then he gives me a fucking, a diamond cutter around my dick and balls, and he pushes back and he goes, and that's what it will look like. After the surgery, and I went, okay, can I go? And I never looked back, I never looked back on that at all. I was like, yo, get the fuck out of here.

• 1:27:34Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god. He fucking diamond cutted your dick and balls, pushed it back, just.

• 1:27:40Speaker 02

  Like that, which had my, just had my weener poking through his diamond. It was insane.

• 1:27:45Joe Rogan?

  Would it have been more uncomfortable if before he did it, you said, I want you to feel safe?

• 1:27:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put your hand on my low back first, dude.

• 1:27:51Joe Rogan?

  I want you to be comfortable.

• 1:27:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, groom me a little. I'm just throwing you in the fire.

• 1:27:55Joe Rogan?

  I just want you to relax.

• 1:27:56Speaker 02

  Hey, you probably love looking at your dick, you probably love looking at your dick in the mirror, standing up.

• 1:28:00Joe Rogan?

  Oh, boy. I'll never think about that again. That's what I'm gonna think about.

• 1:28:05Speaker 02

  Bang.

• 1:28:06Speaker 04

  Maybe he was Illuminati.

• 1:28:09Joe Rogan?

  It is kinda crazy that with all of our technology, there's no dick enhancement medication yet.

• 1:28:15Speaker 02

  If there was, it would be out there. I mean, like, it would be the biggest thing. It would be the hair, hair transplants in Turkey.

• 1:28:20Speaker 03

  I remember your old bit, dude.

• 1:28:22Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:28:22Speaker 03

  Remember your bit of, dude, the guys would just be chugging them.

• 1:28:26Joe Rogan?

  I'd fucking, thirty minutes for the first guy dies of an overdose.

• 1:28:31Joe Rogan?

  They'd go, find out, find out how much gives me a stroke. Take one less than that, like. That's, that would be the problem. But I mean, it's kind of amazing that no one has come up with anything. Like, it's just like a problem they can't solve. Like cosmetic surgery in women has solved so many problems.

• 1:28:47Speaker 02

  Well, when they say that they, you know, they probably can cure cancer, but they don't because the treatment's in the, you know, the money's in the treatment.

• 1:28:54Joe Rogan?

  Speaking of cancer.

• 1:28:54Speaker 02

  But everyone would get, uh, dick bigoting surgery.

• 1:28:58Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 1:28:58Speaker 02

  For sure.

• 1:28:59Joe Rogan?

  Except, there's a few dudes out there. Uh, Viagra may reduce cancer metastasis. Wow. Viagra was originally developed to treat high blood pressure and chest pain caused by reduced blood flow to the heart. But over the past three decades, become the world's best-known therapy for erectile dysfunction, uh, dysfunction, dysfunction. So what is it saying now? Um, okay. Sildefenol limits cancer cells' ability to make use of cholesterol. Wow. An essential component of cellular membranes. Cholesterol is particularly important for cancer cells seeking to break away from the primary tumor and migrate throughout the body and invade distant organs. Wow. Viagra can keep cancer from spreading. Interesting.

• 1:29:44Speaker 02

  That's why I take it then.

• 1:29:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:29:45Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:29:45Joe Rogan?

  Interesting.

• 1:29:46Speaker 04

  I promise, I can't get my dick hard unless I have cancer.

• 1:29:48Joe Rogan?

  Oh, boy. It's like that guy with the legs.

• 1:29:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:29:52Joe Rogan?

  You give yourself cancer just to get hard.

• 1:29:55Speaker 02

  Crazy asshole.

• 1:29:56Joe Rogan?

  I just wanna, I wanna jerk off with an oxygen tube in my nose.

• 1:30:02Joe Rogan?

  I just wanna be barely breathing. I just know I could still nut.

• 1:30:07Speaker 02

  Well, once you get into like desensitization too, like, there's videos of pretty attractive women blowing and fucking horses.

• 1:30:15Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:15Speaker 02

  Like, they've been talked into this somehow. And they're not going, like, uh, uh, when they grab.

• 1:30:21Joe Rogan?

  They're into it?

• 1:30:22Speaker 02

  Like, they're like, yeah, it's like, alright, we rolling? Alright, let me suck this horse's dick real quick.

• 1:30:26Joe Rogan?

  Boy.

• 1:30:27Speaker 04

  And they're big.

• 1:30:27Speaker 02

  And I'll tell you what, it's always a surprise cum shot.

• 1:30:31Joe Rogan?

  It's surprising.

• 1:30:32Speaker 02

  It just blows their mouth apart. It is, it shoots all out of the sides, and then they're like.

• 1:30:36Speaker 04

  There's a job where like, you have to collect the semen from horses. Essentially, you have like a giant pocket pussy for a horse.

• 1:30:42Joe Rogan?

  Yep.

• 1:30:42Speaker 04

  And they have to fucking jerk the horse off into this giant tube to collect.

• 1:30:46Speaker 02

  The horse fucks the thing while you hold it.

• 1:30:47Speaker 04

  Oh, I guess so.

• 1:30:48Speaker 02

  It's like what I did with you.

• 1:30:49Speaker 04

  We did the, one time on Legion of Skanks, Jay held a fleshlight, and he jerked, and he jerked me off with it. Yeah, he jerked me off with a fleshlight.

• 1:30:56Joe Rogan?

  What? Congratulations. I think I missed that week. That episode's gay.

• 1:31:00Speaker 04

  No, there's nothing gay about it, nobody touched each other.

• 1:31:03Speaker 02

  But Louis did fuck the fleshlight, I just held it.

• 1:31:05Speaker 04

  No, he jerked me off with it, it's not how it happened.

• 1:31:06Joe Rogan?

  Seems gay. Who was holding the fleshlight?

• 1:31:08Speaker 04

  He was on the fleshlight and jerking me off with it.

• 1:31:10Joe Rogan?

  He fucked him. You moved?

• 1:31:12Speaker 02

  Louis's dick isn't big enough to just hold it in the air.

• 1:31:15Joe Rogan?

  He basically fucked him.

• 1:31:16Speaker 04

  This is a great question that we've come up with in the past, Joe, is it gay if you open your mouth?

• 1:31:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:31:20Speaker 04

  And a guy puts his dick in your mouth, but it doesn't touch any of the edges?

• 1:31:23Speaker 02

  It's just occupying the space inside your mouth, but you're, you're not blowing them.

• 1:31:28Joe Rogan?

  Well, even if it is gay, the guy's definitely a bottom, cuz his dick's so small, it doesn't bang the edges at all.

• 1:31:33Speaker 02

  Hmm, very possible, yeah.

• 1:31:35Joe Rogan?

  You know what, what kinda accuracy you would have to have? You know how you play that game Operation?

• 1:31:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:31:39Joe Rogan?

  That's, that's what it's like, it's like the most advanced game of Operation.

• 1:31:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:31:43Joe Rogan?

  And if it touches a tooth or a tongue, the guy gags.

• 1:31:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, your nose lights up, Brad.

• 1:31:49Speaker 02

  Maybe like a Liv Tyler, like a Steven Tyler's family, like maybe most people could probably.

• 1:31:53Joe Rogan?

  They'd be the champions.

• 1:31:54Speaker 04

  I gotta be honest with you, my dick could easily fit in your mouth space.

• 1:31:57Speaker 02

  Nah, come on, shut up, ah. You think? Come on, look at that.

• 1:32:00Speaker 04

  Is this gonna get us demonetized?

• 1:32:03Joe Rogan?

  No, I think we're fine.

• 1:32:04Speaker 02

  Cuz these things are, I've been wrong about things before, I was always like, my dick probably can fit right through a fucking toilet paper roll. But it can't.

• 1:32:12Speaker 04

  Or, uh, the head of a, um, a Gatorade bottle, you gotta piss in a car, and I'm like, oh, my dick could easily fit in a Gatorade bottle. No, it's crazy.

• 1:32:19Joe Rogan?

  No. You gotta shove it in. You know how many times Ari Shafir?

• 1:32:22Speaker 02

  You make it fit.

• 1:32:23Joe Rogan?

  Ari Shafir, sitting in that very chair where you are, has pissed into fucking kabucha bottles. How many, how many times, Jamie? Uh, I mean, which, which episode, like, multiple times per show? Multiple times, he just won't use the bathroom, he, he just piss in a bottle. Does he tell you? No, he just pulls his dick out, starts peeing in a bottle. And then one time he went out in the hall, and he pissed in the, and I had to go, Ari! Jesus Christ, just, the bathroom is five steps later. Just keep stepping, and then you're in the bathroom, stop.

• 1:32:51Speaker 04

  We were going down a really bad rabbit hole with Ari, cuz Ari like, remember at Skank Fest, like, every year?

• 1:32:56Joe Rogan?

  He shit into a Tupperware.

• 1:32:57Speaker 04

  Doggy, he's on, at Skank Fest, on stage, during Kill Tony, he came out, and he, in front of the entire audience, got naked, put cardboard on the floor, and just shit on the cardboard. I walked to the room, and Ari was playing with his shit, like, everyone's like, what the fuck is going on? I was like, well, I gotta go, I can't watch this.

• 1:33:15Joe Rogan?

  Jeannie Allen type shit.

• 1:33:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's what the guy who fucking wanted to kill Bjork did.

• 1:33:20Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he played with his shit.

• 1:33:21Speaker 02

  He covered himself in shit and shot himself.

• 1:33:23Joe Rogan?

  If Ari killed Bjork, I wouldn't be stunned.

• 1:33:27Speaker 02

  I bet they've crossed paths with his travels.

• 1:33:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:33:29Joe Rogan?

  I bet. Do you ever see that one time where Bjork fucked some guy up at the airport?

• 1:33:34Speaker 02

  Like, physically?

• 1:33:35Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, some journalist was, was a guy or maybe it was a woman? Some, but some journalist was harassing her at the airport. Like, following around, camera in her face, and she just eventually turns, and just starts wailing on this person. I thought it was a dude, but now that I'm thinking about it, it might be a lady, I think it's a lady.

• 1:33:50Speaker 02

  I can't remember, but I do remember the video.

• 1:33:52Joe Rogan?

  Just starts fucking this lady up.

• 1:33:53Speaker 02

  She's like, yeah, she's like, trying to ignore her completely, and then just added a note where it's zero to sixty.

• 1:33:57Joe Rogan?

  This person's like, just shoving.

• 1:33:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's a woman.

• 1:34:00Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah, it's a woman. Whoa, fucking feral dude.

• 1:34:03Speaker 04

  This woman's hitting her with the microphone too, she's fighting back.

• 1:34:07Speaker 02

  Dan Soder showed, Dan Soder showed me years ago, funny thing, Bjork on YouTube, it's just Bjork explains the insides of a computer, and it's really her, and she's just like, It looks like a little city, and the people go up in the elevator, maybe? And the, and the wires are like the people, maybe? And it's just like, she's, or she explains an open TV, it's what, they have it back on the TV, Bjork explains an open TV. It looks like this would be the little elevator.

• 1:34:35Speaker 02

  It's so fucking funny.

• 1:34:36Joe Rogan?

  It's a rude thing to just run up to someone and stick a camera in their face like that.

• 1:34:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't believe, like, all those, like, uh, First Amendment guys, they'll just stand outside of like, uh, like a store, and they'll videotape you, and you're like, what are you taping me for? It's like, what's your problem, dude? Free speech, it's America, you could do this, and you're like, I'm gonna.

• 1:34:52Speaker 02

  People looking for trouble.

• 1:34:53Speaker 04

  Fucking kill you, get the camera out of my face, and then it's like a whole, it's a whole genre on, on X and on.

• 1:34:59Joe Rogan?

  Well, there's just too many people looking for content.

• 1:35:01Speaker 02

  I was gonna say, if you go like this, if the response of what someone says to you is, what? It's like, you're already an asshole.

• 1:35:07Joe Rogan?

  Second incident. The second Bjork attack? Oh, she's wild. She attacked a paparazzi photographer after arriving in New Zealand for a concert. This is in, what year was this? Uh, it's just eighteen years ago, so it's like, that doesn't have a year on it.

• 1:35:22Speaker 02

  She goes hard, she's like a girl Axl Rose, dude.

• 1:35:25Joe Rogan?

  Well, that thing says two thousand eight, okay? So, she took a couple of pictures, as I turned to walk away, she came up behind me, grabbed the back of my black skivvy and tore it. Uh, as she did this, she fell over, she fell to the ground. At no point, at no stage, did I touch her or speak with her. Bjork said nothing during the incident, but her male companion was saying, Bee, don't do this, Bee, don't do this.

• 1:35:49Joe Rogan?

  She's just wild.

• 1:35:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, untethered.

• 1:35:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:35:53Joe Rogan?

  Unfeathered.

• 1:35:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, oh yeah, she dressed like a duck.

• 1:35:56Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:56Speaker 04

  You grow up with an umlaut in your name, it's gonna create mental problems.

• 1:35:59Speaker 02

  Did you find Bjork, did you find Bjork?

• 1:36:01Speaker 04

  Icelandic.

• 1:36:02Speaker 02

  It describes the television?

• 1:36:03Joe Rogan?

  Those are wild people, that's a wild place.

• 1:36:05Speaker 02

  Iceland?

• 1:36:06Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that's a wild place.

• 1:36:07Speaker 02

  I've always wanted to go to Reykjavik.

• 1:36:09Joe Rogan?

  That is a cold ass, wild place filled with giant human beings. Like, some of the biggest strongmen in the world all come from Iceland.

• 1:36:17Speaker 02

  It's like Prometheus?

• 1:36:18Joe Rogan?

  That guy from.

• 1:36:19Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah, Bjorn, whatever.

• 1:36:20Joe Rogan?

  Game of Thrones, yeah. Um, a bunch of the strongmen, it's like, it's like a freakish culture of humans up there.

• 1:36:27Speaker 02

  Is it just genetics, or is it what they do for?

• 1:36:29Joe Rogan?

  Vikings.

• 1:36:29Speaker 02

  Yeah. Oh, it's like the Magnus for Magnusons and stuff, yeah.

• 1:36:32Joe Rogan?

  Those are the real Vikings, the leftover Vikings. And when you see those guys winning those strongman competitions, you gotta imagine a fucking boatload of them. A boatload of them.

• 1:36:42Speaker 02

  Coming over?

• 1:36:43Joe Rogan?

  Pulling up on your shore with battle axes, and fucking running out there on mushrooms.

• 1:36:48Speaker 02

  A monomorph.

• 1:36:49Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Sounds awesome. They would get, they would be tripping on mushrooms when they would go berserking.

• 1:36:54Speaker 04

  That's wild.

• 1:36:55Joe Rogan?

  Oh, bro, and that's like, they're still there. It's like, those genetics are still in those fucking mountains.

• 1:37:01Speaker 02

  Did you go there just to travel there?

• 1:37:02Joe Rogan?

  No, no, I just know about it, I just know a lot about Iceland, specifically because of, uh, the, uh, strongman culture, it's very weird. It's weird that how many of the strongest men in the world all came out of Iceland. And then you see the size of them, you're like, oh, okay, I get it. Like, these are not regular humans.

• 1:37:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:37:21Joe Rogan?

  Like, if, if you were like a pygmy tribe, and you got in a boat, and you landed in Iceland, and you got out, like, back in the day, and you're little four foot tall people, and then all of a sudden you saw, they're like, that's a totally different species.

• 1:37:35Speaker 04

  It's like the scene in The Odyssey where the giants are fucking running through the woods and just hacking them up.

• 1:37:38Speaker 02

  Spoiler alert. I know, I haven't seen it.

• 1:37:40Speaker 04

  So good, I loved it.

• 1:37:42Joe Rogan?

  There's giants? I haven't seen it yet either, I heard it was great, though.

• 1:37:44Speaker 04

  A Trojan what?

• 1:37:45Joe Rogan?

  Even the people that were mad at it for being, you know, woke casting or whatever, they still said it was fucking awesome.

• 1:37:51Speaker 04

  It did take me out of it, I will say, uh, what's her name, um, Elliot Page, yeah, they, they booked him to be like a, like a, a soldier. And you're like, every time he talks on screen, you're like, that used to be a woman, I'm up, like, it just kinda took me out of it.

• 1:38:03Joe Rogan?

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• 1:38:44Joe Rogan?

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• 1:39:28Joe Rogan?

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• 1:40:10Joe Rogan?

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• 1:40:34Speaker 02

  But the only thing less scary than a female cop, trans cop.

• 1:40:40Joe Rogan?

  Uh, I've had nothing but pleasant interactions with trans men.

• 1:40:44Speaker 04

  Women to men?

• 1:40:45Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:46Speaker 04

  I had an interaction the other day, Joe, with a trans, a woman to man, trans man. We, uh, we told this on Legion of Skanks.

• 1:40:52Speaker 02

  Oh dude, this story is fantastic.

• 1:40:53Speaker 04

  So, I'll give you the quick version of it. I'm pulling out of a parking space, there's a city bike guy coming by, and I almost hit him, he falls off his bike. And he's like, "What the fuck?"

• 1:41:01Speaker 02

  Louis is an urban deer.

• 1:41:03Speaker 04

  I'm a terrible, I'm a terrible driver, I've talked about this a lot. So, I'm like, "Are you okay?" He's like, "Yeah dude, I'm fine, but watch where you're going." I'm like, "Ah, cool." So this woman starts screaming from the street, and she's like, "Stay right there," to me, she's like, "Stay right there." And the guy's like, "No, no, I'm okay, don't worry miss." I get out of the car, I'm like, "What's going on?" And then, uh, she's like, "You can't go, you hit a pedestrian." I was like, "I didn't hit him, he's fine." He's like, "I gotta go." He takes off on his bike. So she starts screaming at me, and at this point, I'm going like, "I'll stay for this, this is gonna be like a fun argument, why not?" So I start yelling back, and I'm like, "Fuck you, you dumb bitch, mind your business, you Karen." She calls the cops, right? So she's on the phones with the cops, being like, "He's, he's threatening me." And now I'm like, I'm like, "Now I want the cops to come." Now that's like a whole thing, the whole block is watching, there's like twenty people on the block watching.

• 1:41:44Speaker 02

  It's crazy how not Puerto Rican you see yourself.

• 1:41:48Speaker 03

  I know.

• 1:41:49Speaker 02

  Let's get the cops here. Let's get the cops here. They'll probably, they'll probably look at me and think that I'm gonna be the one who's reasonable.

• 1:41:56Speaker 04

  So then, uh, there's a-

• 1:41:57Speaker 03

  Do you have a mirror?

• 1:41:58Speaker 04

  A mirror?

• 1:41:59Speaker 03

  Get the cops.

• 1:42:01Speaker 02

  Yeah dude. I'll wait for the cops.

• 1:42:04Speaker 04

  So then, uh, a, what I believe is a female to male trans, I'll show you, I'll show you.

• 1:42:09Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:42:09Speaker 04

  On my phone, I'll show you the picture. It looks like Conor McGregor, but it's got a woman's voice. Starts screaming out the window, and he's like, he's like, "Why are you talking to a woman that way? I'll come down there and kick your ass." And now I'm like, "Come down here and kick my ass, motherfucker." I'm yelling at her, I'm yelling at him.

• 1:42:24Joe Rogan?

  So the trans man was saying that they were gonna kick your ass?

• 1:42:27Speaker 04

  Kick my ass. So then I'm like, "I want you to come down, I've been waiting for this moment, I've been training for this day my entire life."

• 1:42:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:42:33Speaker 04

  So then, uh, he goes out, he's like, "Oh yeah?" And he comes back with a gun, like this, and goes, "Yeah, you want this smoke?" And I'm like, "Oh shit."

• 1:42:41Speaker 03

  Where was this?

• 1:42:42Speaker 04

  This is in the East Village, New York City. So then I'm like, and but when somebody pulls a gun in New York City, or flashes a gun, I'm assuming it's a BB gun, a replica. Guns in New York are not easy to come by, especially like a little white trans, like I'm just like-

• 1:42:53Speaker 02

  I like to say you've been waiting your whole life to, uh, fucking let a woman finally become a man so you could punch them.

• 1:43:01Speaker 02

  He's like, "Well, I wish they were still..." He goes, "Oh, can you please, let's be doing your wife." Yo, go get some fucking trans surgery, I'm gonna punch you in the face.

• 1:43:06Speaker 04

  So the cops come, right? They tell the woman, they're like, "What do you, there's no crime here, the guy left." It was like, "No, mind your business." She leaves, then I go to the cops, I was like, "Well, you should know, this little, uh, man up here, pulled out a gun."

• 1:43:18Speaker 02

  Now who's the Karen?

• 1:43:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, so then, now, now there's, they shut down the block, fire trucks on both ends, ambulance, twenty cops on the block.

• 1:43:26Joe Rogan?

  Oh, jeez.

• 1:43:26Speaker 04

  They're waiting to storm this dude's apartment, and I'm sitting there like, this is the greatest moment of my life.

• 1:43:31Joe Rogan?

  I love how progressive you're being through this entire conversation.

• 1:43:33Speaker 04

  I'm calling him a dude, I'm calling him a dude the whole time.

• 1:43:35Speaker 02

  We also don't know for sure.

• 1:43:36Speaker 04

  I don't know, it could have been, it could have been a gay guy with a feminine voice. I'll show you the picture in a second, or the video. So, uh, so then the cops finally come, and after like forty-five minutes, they go into the building. Like, they're waiting for whatever, and I'm sitting there, I'm, I'm, I'm listening, I'm at the bottom of the stairs, listening, and, and the trans dude is yelling at the cops, and they're yelling at him, and I'm like, "Oh, they're gonna fucking shoot him, this is the greatest day of my life." They're gonna light him up. I'm waiting for a gunfight to happen, right? The cops come down two minutes later.

• 1:44:01Speaker 02

  Boiling to this.

• 1:44:01Speaker 04

  And I was like, I was like, "Where, where is he?" And they're like, "It wasn't a gun." I was like, "What was it?" They're like, "It was a black dildo." He had a black dildo with a gun handle that he flashed at me through the window.

• 1:44:11Speaker 02

  Which, by the way, a black dildo is more scary to a Puerto Rican guy than a gun.

• 1:44:15Joe Rogan?

  Oh my god, a black dildo with a gun handle.

• 1:44:17Speaker 03

  Dude, they shut down the whole city block for a black dildo with a gun handle.

• 1:44:21Joe Rogan?

  That's a great episode of like CSI, could you imagine the cops going into the apartment, guns drawn? And he's like, "Hold on, it's a dildo." And you see the cops like lower their guns, like, "What the fuck?"

• 1:44:33Speaker 02

  I would like to have a dildo gun, though.

• 1:44:35Speaker 03

  I know.

• 1:44:36Speaker 02

  Like a gun, like a dildo with a gun handle on it?

• 1:44:38Joe Rogan?

  And when you pull the trigger, the head swells.

• 1:44:42Speaker 02

  I mean, it would be a fun thing to have. You probably wouldn't use it much.

• 1:44:46Joe Rogan?

  And maybe a lighter on the end of it.

• 1:44:47Speaker 02

  Yep. That would be nice.

• 1:44:49Joe Rogan?

  Then you would use it a lot more.

• 1:44:50Speaker 02

  That's true.

• 1:44:50Joe Rogan?

  They're both fun and practical.

• 1:44:52Speaker 02

  Oh my god, a little flame comes out of a cockhead on the end of my gun.

• 1:44:55Speaker 04

  A little flag pops out of his bang.

• 1:44:57Joe Rogan?

  Like a cigar lighter flame.

• 1:45:01Speaker 02

  Relax, officers, it's just a cock lighter gun.

• 1:45:04Joe Rogan?

  Easy does it.

• 1:45:06Speaker 03

  Holster your guns.

• 1:45:07Speaker 02

  Just a regular old cock holster gun. Someone said you can't, uh, get in New York now, just like the rubber fake black guns anymore. They won't deliver, they won't deliver them to New York at all.

• 1:45:17Joe Rogan?

  So why, why are you so insistent on being involved in conflict?

• 1:45:23Speaker 04

  No, I'm not, conflict finds me.

• 1:45:25Joe Rogan?

  That seems like you are part of it.

• 1:45:27Speaker 04

  I had conflict at Jay's hotel before I came here, I, it just regularly finds me for some reason, and I, it's like a Larry David thing, like, I can't let it go, but I'm not like a nebbishy old Jewish guy, so I fucking react like a Puerto Rican.

• 1:45:37Speaker 02

  You're a psychotic Puerto Rican.

• 1:45:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:45:39Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 1:45:39Speaker 04

  So I, a little, a little slight, like, I, I kinda like, well, you know, that's, and then it just turns, it starts to snowball into like a bigger thing.

• 1:45:46Joe Rogan?

  Well, I understand how it could happen.

• 1:45:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:45:49Joe Rogan?

  It's like when you drink and drive and crash your car, and you're talking to the guy, "Well, I just started with one drink," and then it, like, I get it.

• 1:45:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:45:54Joe Rogan?

  I know it happens, just, don't do that.

• 1:45:56Speaker 02

  But I, I definitely, what we share is in that thing, like, I'm the person, I have, I'm learning to try to get better, especially as I get older, but like, I'm the idiot, like, cuts me off in traffic and gives the finger, I'm like, "I'm hunting this guy with my car."

• 1:46:09Speaker 03

  I do the same thing too.

• 1:46:10Speaker 02

  And my hope is that I get on his ass enough that he ends up cartwheeling down the fucking, and then people are like, "Are you out of your fucking mind?" Like, they're like, "Fuck that guy, he's in like a shitty car," they're like, "Who cares?" And I'm like, "No, it's, it's justice." We, we have to bring justice to the world.

• 1:46:25Speaker 03

  Dude, I, I had that, remember, um, uh, Runyon Ca- not Runyon Canyon, Laurel Canyon, how you get to the top of Mulholland, and, and everyone would try to get into the right lane and then cut back over?

• 1:46:34Joe Rogan?

  Yep, yep.

• 1:46:35Speaker 03

  I literally drove, I was like, drove a guy, where I'm like, "I'm not," we did chicken all the way, I'm like, "I'm gonna drive him into the fucking dog park." I will let this happen right now, rather than let this fucking guy cut me off, I wanna drive him into the fucking dog park.

• 1:46:47Speaker 04

  Road Rage is the weirdest thing, I don't know what it is, like, you just get so angry.

• 1:46:50Speaker 02

  When you get home, you're like, "Thank god I didn't get out of a car," like, what a fucking idiotic thing.

• 1:46:53Joe Rogan?

  You know where it comes from? It, it comes from your, your body's on a heightened sense of awareness, because you're driving a car really fast. So you're aware that you have to make split second moves, things are moving, and you're going like this, so you're already at seven, that's what it is. So anything that happens, like, "Fuck you!" You are, you, you don't go from zero to "Fuck you," you're already at seven.

• 1:47:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:47:13Joe Rogan?

  Cause you're in a car. Like, you don't realize that your car, you're tense, especially in LA, people are driving fast, a lot of people are cutting people off. You're always thinking, you always have to be alert and looking and pay attention, cause you're aware of the consequences, so you're at this heightened state of awareness. So any little slight that happens is like you're at war.

• 1:47:29Speaker 02

  It is, it feels that way, dude.

• 1:47:31Joe Rogan?

  But you gotta realize that, like, in the car, and like, chill.

• 1:47:35Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:47:35Joe Rogan?

  It's hard to do, everybody makes mistakes, everybody, yeah, but just don't chase people down your car.

• 1:47:40Speaker 04

  It's a great Louis bit.

• 1:47:41Joe Rogan?

  If you have to go, "Fuck you," let out the "Fuck you," but, you know, don't chase them, don't, don't.

• 1:47:46Speaker 04

  It's a great Louis bit where he's like, somebody always has to do is like, slightly go into your lane, and you're like, "Fuck you, motherfucker."

• 1:47:51Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:47:52Speaker 04

  You get so angry so fast, for like the slightest little like, they barely-

• 1:47:56Joe Rogan?

  So that's where it comes from.

• 1:47:57Speaker 02

  What I've been taking to, I'm thinking about getting a dry erase board to keep in my car, cause all I really wanna do is, I feel like I have the skill to say something that's gonna ruin their day, if they just see it real quick. You know, just get back whatever you need to get back. The problem is, now I got a knee drive while I write my clever quip.

• 1:48:14Joe Rogan?

  Maybe instead of a dry erase board, you can get like a LED banner on the front of your windshield, and then you could just say it, and it'll print it out.

• 1:48:24Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 1:48:25Speaker 04

  They're not gonna let you print out squares.

• 1:48:26Joe Rogan?

  They wouldn't be able to stop you.

• 1:48:28Speaker 02

  He goes, "Someone's got tech money over here."

• 1:48:30Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, well, if you think about it, it's not, there's no law that says you can't have that, right?

• 1:48:35Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:48:35Joe Rogan?

  Can you have, uh, an LED thing that shows letters?

• 1:48:38Speaker 03

  It might be distracting, yeah.

• 1:48:39Speaker 02

  Maybe not, I don't know.

• 1:48:40Speaker 04

  Well, see, if you have the middle finger thing on your car-

• 1:48:42Speaker 03

  I have the middle finger in my car, so it, it has five, so it'll either give like a this, like, "Thanks, man, you let me in." It'll give like, uh, like, something like a thumbs up, and then it'll give the fucking bird, dude.

• 1:48:53Joe Rogan?

  Here, using an LED banner or scrolling message sign on a car is generally illegal while driving on public roads. Alright, but you know what you can get? You can get a, um, one of those loudspeakers, cause I saw one of those, uh, survival trucks, it's like a bulletproof survival truck, and it has an alarm, like, like, like a siren, like a cop siren, and it also has like a, a loudspeaker. Attention, attention, please leave the road.

• 1:49:19Speaker 02

  That'd be great, I hope your mother gets AIDS, carry on.

• 1:49:22Joe Rogan?

  You could one hundred percent get that installed in your car, that would actually be hilarious.

• 1:49:26Speaker 02

  That's a goodie.

• 1:49:26Joe Rogan?

  And then you could make viral videos of you-

• 1:49:29Speaker 02

  Cursing people out?

• 1:49:30Joe Rogan?

  Yes!

• 1:49:30Speaker 02

  I love it.

• 1:49:31Joe Rogan?

  Bro, that's actually a good idea, and I think, let's find out if that's legal. Where do you live, where do you live in Jersey? See if that's legal in Jersey.

• 1:49:37Speaker 04

  You got a birthday coming up, big guy.

• 1:49:39Speaker 03

  I hate the air horns.

• 1:49:40Joe Rogan?

  We'll hook you up. I'll find a guy, I'll find a guy and have it installed. What kinda car are you driving these days?

• 1:49:44Speaker 02

  Ram truck.

• 1:49:45Joe Rogan?

  Oh, perfect, plenty of room back there.

• 1:49:47Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:49:48Joe Rogan?

  Plenty of room, they can get that, oh, a hundred percent, they probably make it already, they probably make one for it. Like, when you're trying to get cows out of the road and shit.

• 1:49:53Speaker 04

  You're imagining a much manlier Ram truck, Jay's is all souped out with like, like, lights and shit on the bottom and strobes.

• 1:50:00Joe Rogan?

  All Ram trucks are pretty fucking manly.

• 1:50:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:50:03Joe Rogan?

  I love Ram, I've had a-

• 1:50:04Speaker 02

  There's a Ram on the back, you ass.

• 1:50:05Joe Rogan?

  Two different TRXs. You ever have a T, you ever drive a TRX?

• 1:50:09Speaker 02

  Mm-mm.

• 1:50:09Joe Rogan?

  It's the most ridiculous car you could drive.

• 1:50:11Speaker 02

  Like, fucking fast, right?

• 1:50:12Joe Rogan?

  It's like a seven hundred horsepower truck that you get right from the factory. Okay, sound and boom car laws, plainly audible rule under New Jersey law, operating a vehicle sound system or loudspeaker that is plainly audible at fifty feet or more is illegal.

• 1:50:27Speaker 04

  To be fair, it's more illegal to chase somebody and run them off the road.

• 1:50:30Joe Rogan?

  But here's the thing about that. Uh, using exterior mounted speakers, PAs, or loud system, or loud, uh, playing sound from open doors, boom parties, that exceeds the distance threshold can result in roadside citations. Emergency sirens, mimicking official emergency vehicle sirens or horns with a car speaker system is strictly prohibited. The thing is like, you could still buy those trucks.

• 1:50:53Speaker 02

  This is doable.

• 1:50:54Joe Rogan?

  This is doable.

• 1:50:55Speaker 02

  This is all doable.

• 1:50:55Joe Rogan?

  It's like, you'd have to prove that you have that in there.

• 1:50:58Speaker 02

  But also fifty feet is like, I don't need that much space, I'm gonna get next to him so to make sure he hears it.

• 1:51:02Joe Rogan?

  Right.

• 1:51:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:51:03Speaker 04

  Fifty feet's not that far on the road.

• 1:51:05Speaker 02

  I'm gonna go, "Look at my face while I put my thing in there."

• 1:51:08Joe Rogan?

  Hmm, but clearly

• 1:51:09Speaker 02

  I hope you fucking cartwheel home at some point and your car flips over and you don't have airbags and you're a piece of shit.

• 1:51:14Joe Rogan?

  This is weird because horns are plainly audible. There's no law that you can't just lay on your horn.

• 1:51:19Speaker 03

  Did you ever hear those air horns?

• 1:51:20Speaker 04

  No, there are though. You can't holding on your horn for an extended amount of time, you can get a ticket for it.

• 1:51:24Speaker 02

  I've done that in New York traffic when I've been the one that's like agitated and late. I've like, do you know if you hang, lay on your horn enough?

• 1:51:31Speaker 03

  It turns off.

• 1:51:32Speaker 02

  It just stops?

• 1:51:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:51:33Speaker 02

  And then it won't work again for a while.

• 1:51:34Joe Rogan?

  You gotta, you gotta get an old car. Get a car before the government got involved.

• 1:51:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:51:39Joe Rogan?

  You gotta get a 1983 Ram. Honking a car horn in New York City is illegal unless used as a warning of imminent danger. Well, someone needs to put all those cab drivers in a jail.

• 1:51:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:51:50Joe Rogan?

  And violated fines ranging from eight hundred dollars to two thousand five hundred dollars. Wow, that's crazy.

• 1:51:55Speaker 02

  It's really illegal to give a little zap when like someone's not going in front of you, you see they're on the phone?

• 1:51:59Speaker 03

  You give it a tap.

• 1:51:59Joe Rogan?

  That's crazy though. Imagine you lay on the horn and you get a two hundred and fifty, two thousand five hundred dollar

• 1:52:05Speaker 04

  I think a little beep, like that's polite. Beep, hey, you're not paying attention.

• 1:52:08Joe Rogan?

  Well, it's important because every now and then people don't see you and they need to know.

• 1:52:12Speaker 03

  Especially bikers.

• 1:52:14Speaker 02

  There's a whole, uh, Gerard Butler maybe movie or something? Or no, it was Russell Crowe movie about that. Like his whole anger is the girl behind him wouldn't apologize for laying on the horn. He was like, I didn't know the light turned green. You could have just given like a huh huh, it's that simple. Like huh? And then she was like, fuck you. And then the movie's just him chasing her and murdering her family.

• 1:52:32Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:52:33Speaker 04

  One, um, a second and a half sounds so aggressive. Like just like beep, that's cute. Like, alright, you gotta pay attention, but I feel like eh, just that. You're like, fuck you, buddy.

• 1:52:41Speaker 02

  No, yeah.

• 1:52:42Joe Rogan?

  Right. There's solstice, is that what it's called?

• 1:52:44Speaker 03

  Called unhinged.

• 1:52:45Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 1:52:47Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. It's pretty good.

• 1:52:48Joe Rogan?

  I'm sure it's good. Russell Crowe's the fucking man.

• 1:52:51Speaker 02

  He's like, you just give one of these. He just shows her how to do it. He's like, just like that. There's no reason to do this.

• 1:52:57Joe Rogan?

  I had a Tesla and, uh, the horn wasn't in the center. It was a button. It was a button on the steering wheel. And every time something happened, I went, where's the button? It was never good. It was nev- it was a terrible idea.

• 1:53:10Speaker 02

  You need to be able to put a little something in there.

• 1:53:11Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, even if you're like, it could, you reach it with your thumb. You could reach it with your thumb, but there's other shit there too.

• 1:53:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:53:16Joe Rogan?

  You know, you're fucking in a, ah!

• 1:53:18Speaker 02

  You turn the

• 1:53:18Speaker 03

  It should be in the center. You just slam the center.

• 1:53:20Speaker 04

  You turn your windshield wipers on, you're like, fuck, motherfucker.

• 1:53:23Joe Rogan?

  The new ones do it now. It's in the center.

• 1:53:25Speaker 02

  You lock in cruise control?

• 1:53:26Joe Rogan?

  Butt, fucking cocksucker. Yeah, it was terrible. I hated it. He did a bunch of shit that supposedly makes them better that I think is not good. And one of the things, they removed the blinker thing. There's no stalk. Now it's buttons.

• 1:53:40Speaker 03

  It's all buttons now on the new ones.

• 1:53:42Joe Rogan?

  So I fuck it up all the time.

• 1:53:43Speaker 03

  There's no, even the drive, I have an old Model 3, you know, you drive in reverse is still on the side. Now the new ones are just

• 1:53:49Speaker 02

  Tesla?

• 1:53:50Speaker 03

  Tap the screen. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:53:51Joe Rogan?

  Well, the new one, mine, you swipe. You swipe up to go forward and swipe back to go backwards. It's like

• 1:53:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:53:57Speaker 02

  It's getting too like

• 1:53:58Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. How about a thing like a car?

• 1:54:00Speaker 02

  Well, they're video, because they're video gaming it for young people.

• 1:54:03Joe Rogan?

  Well, I think they're removing everything because they're eventually gonna get to fully automated cars.

• 1:54:07Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:54:07Joe Rogan?

  And the idea is make everything buttons. So they already have this, these cybercabs that are traveling around all over Austin. You see those?

• 1:54:13Speaker 02

  Oh, I saw them. Gold ones, yeah.

• 1:54:15Joe Rogan?

  Nobody in them.

• 1:54:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, they never drop you off at the right place. Sometimes they don't move. You're sitting in there and you're like, support.

• 1:54:20Speaker 02

  The cybercab?

• 1:54:20Speaker 04

  You're yelling at them. Yeah, and the Waymos?

• 1:54:22Speaker 02

  Oh, no, no, there's different, cybercab's like a gold

• 1:54:24Speaker 03

  Gold.

• 1:54:25Speaker 02

  It looks like a small, it looks like a small cyber truck.

• 1:54:27Joe Rogan?

  It's like a weird gold looking Model 3-ish car. Um, then, then there's other ones that seem to be different colors that have cybercab logos on them. I don't know if it is a cybercab, but the Waymos, I saw Waymo doing a pretty aggressive lane entry the other day. I was like, huh?

• 1:54:43Speaker 02

  Like almost cutting someone off?

• 1:54:44Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. I was like, that, yeah. Just assumed that the person next to him was gonna like stop and just went right in front of him. I was like, whoa.

• 1:54:53Speaker 03

  Learn how to drive.

• 1:54:54Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. But it was like, they're getting a little comfortable.

• 1:54:57Speaker 02

  Wanna bet this is an Asian or a girl?

• 1:55:00Speaker 03

  I calculated the amount of time it would take me to change lanes and it was adequate. I had a Uber driver last night tell me that she's like, I told her I took a Waymo. She was, cause she was like, meh, I don't really do that. You know, it was like

• 1:55:10Joe Rogan?

  You should smell my farts and listen to my music.

• 1:55:12Speaker 03

  Exactly. But I was like, she's like, it's better than, Waymo's better than the old company they had. She's like, the old, there was another company, I can't remember what she said, but it was like they were going under the assumption that, that it would learn, the car would learn from other drivers. And what it did is it learned horrible habits. It was like going through red lights. It was going like fifty through a, a school zone and shit. Like it learned from actual real people how to fucking drive poorly. And they were like, oh, we gotta shut this thing down. Like, I got in a Waymo and it's like, if you gotta get like I have like twenty minutes to get to the airport and Waymo says like twenty-four, you can't be like step on it. It's like, it's only gonna go as fast as it's going to go. You can't like ask it to go

• 1:55:53Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, well

• 1:55:54Speaker 03

  hurry up mode.

• 1:55:54Speaker 04

  But then the other problem is sometimes you tell an Uber, you tell an Uber driver to hurry up, sometimes they're like, they pull over and they're like, get out. You're like, what? This happened to me twice now. Where I've been like, I'm in a big hurry and the guy just literally just pulls over and he goes, get out, I'm not taking you. And then you can't do anything because they have all of your information and you can't like, so you're just like

• 1:56:12Speaker 03

  What did I say? Like, oh, really?

• 1:56:14Joe Rogan?

  You have to be a little smoother with it, I guess.

• 1:56:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm kind of in a rush or what, I don't know.

• 1:56:18Joe Rogan?

  Hey, I don't, you know, there's not a requirement, but it would be nice if we can get there a little quicker.

• 1:56:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:56:24Joe Rogan?

  Because

• 1:56:25Speaker 02

  Well, Uber and Uber Eats, I think there's just no overt, no answer or anything. That's why they don't, couldn't give a shit, I feel like. Especially in the city areas. They don't give a fuck.

• 1:56:32Speaker 03

  Have you done the full self-driving thing yet?

• 1:56:34Joe Rogan?

  All the time. All the time.

• 1:56:35Speaker 03

  I, I, I brought my car and they gave me a rental for a couple of days and I literally was like, well, we'll try it. Went right to the city.

• 1:56:43Joe Rogan?

  I ignored it for a long time. I always liked to drive myself, but then recently, over the last like year or so, coming home from the club at night. You know, having, having a good time at the club, laughing with the boys. I'm like, I don't wanna pay attention.

• 1:56:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:56:56Joe Rogan?

  I'd rather just make a phone call. So I called like a buddy of mine back home and we're talking on the phone and I'm literally just sitting down.

• 1:57:02Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 1:57:02Joe Rogan?

  And the car's doing everything. Stopping at every red light.

• 1:57:04Speaker 04

  Dude, you don't have to It's fully automated now.

• 1:57:06Speaker 03

  Fully. Dude, you don't have to do anything.

• 1:57:08Speaker 02

  This must be a, a question that's already asked probably a thousand times, but like, are you able to like drink?

• 1:57:13Joe Rogan?

  No.

• 1:57:14Speaker 03

  No, it's got a camera in it, so

• 1:57:16Joe Rogan?

  No, no, no. And if you're drunk and you say

• 1:57:18Speaker 02

  I don't mean drink like in it. I'm saying, are you able to drink?

• 1:57:20Joe Rogan?

  That's what I was gonna say. No, if you're drunk and you get in your Tesla and you say, oh, officer, I wasn't even driving, the car's driving. Uh-uh.

• 1:57:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, but

• 1:57:28Joe Rogan?

  But you could be drunk in the backseat of a cybercab.

• 1:57:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:57:32Joe Rogan?

  So if you converted your car to being a cybercab and you just like

• 1:57:36Speaker 04

  I think they should have a mode where you're allowed to get in the backseat drunk and have your car drive you home if it's fully automated.

• 1:57:41Speaker 03

  Dude, they're talking about

• 1:57:42Joe Rogan?

  I agree.

• 1:57:42Speaker 03

  The, the full self-driving thing to giving it to blind people. And I'm like, I swear to God, dude, think about it. You put a blind person behind there. There's someone there, but they can't see. What's the difference between being drunk and being a blind person driving a car? Would you rather drive with a drunk person or a blind person?

• 1:57:57Speaker 04

  Drunk person.

• 1:57:57Joe Rogan?

  But also it's like you're relying on that blind person to use text to speech or speech to text to talk to the navigation system to tell them where to go. And what if it translates it incorrectly? Cause it does with me all the time.

• 1:58:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, you don't know what, yeah.

• 1:58:11Joe Rogan?

  All the time. And with Apple, with the fucking Apple Maps, it does it. When I use Siri, it does it with the Tesla. If I say something and it doesn't understand me, it'll show me a bunch of wrong options. So what does the blind person do?

• 1:58:25Speaker 03

  I don't know. But they were literally talking about, like, this is gonna be the future for

• 1:58:30Joe Rogan?

  Blind people are just pimping.

• 1:58:31Speaker 03

  Driving around, getting place to place.

• 1:58:33Joe Rogan?

  You press summon. So say if you're at a parking lot and you say, come to me, the car will pull out of the lot and drive over to where you are. Like say if you got, you're at the supermarket, you have a bunch of bags to put in your trunk, it'll just pull up to where you are.

• 1:58:47Speaker 03

  It's pouring out, you don't feel like going out?

• 1:58:49Speaker 02

  You couldn't do that at like a gated, like it has to wait to run the plate thing or something?

• 1:58:53Speaker 03

  You can't do it at the airport. Like you can't be like, you're on level four and like you get out of baggage claim. You're like, come get, my car will come down. It has to be within like, I think, a distance of it.

• 1:59:02Speaker 04

  But that's only a matter of time. I mean, like, within five, 10 years, it's gonna be, there's not gonna be any Uber drivers. It's gonna be all automated taxis. That's, that's happening.

• 1:59:08Joe Rogan?

  When I first got a Tesla, it was like 2017-ish, maybe 18, and that one didn't do any of these things. That one did self-driving, but you had to stop for stop signs, you had to stop for stoplights. But like, we were on Laurel Canyon and I was driving with my wife and I just had my hands off the wheel. I was like, look at this, this is crazy. And it's just keeping us in the lane, driving everywhere you wanna go. And it stays in the lane. It's real, it was a little shaky back then.

• 1:59:31Speaker 02

  I don't even do that still. I have the thing that's like if I, if I'm, I turn that off.

• 1:59:35Joe Rogan?

  Lane assist?

• 1:59:35Speaker 02

  Where it's like, yeah, it's like

• 1:59:36Joe Rogan?

  Oh, I need it.

• 1:59:37Speaker 02

  If you get out of the lane, it goes

• 1:59:39Speaker 03

  But the new self-driving, he's got five modes. It could be like, you could be snail mode, like slow mode, normal, fast, and then like get me the fuck there or something like that.

• 1:59:49Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:59:49Speaker 03

  Yeah. And I didn't put it on. Have you ever fucked with any of the modes?

• 1:59:52Joe Rogan?

  No, I just have it drive.

• 1:59:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, cause it's like

• 1:59:54Joe Rogan?

  I'm not in a rush.

• 1:59:55Speaker 03

  I wanna see what it like, if it doesn't like start speeding and going around people and driving like a fucking lunatic.

• 2:00:00Joe Rogan?

  It's fucking really good.

• 2:00:00Speaker 03

  It is.

• 2:00:01Joe Rogan?

  Like, it's really good. Like it, it changes lanes if the car's in front of you going slow.

• 2:00:05Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 2:00:05Speaker 02

  Are you comfortable in not looking at all and just being your phone?

• 2:00:07Joe Rogan?

  No, I look. I'm still weirded out by it.

• 2:00:09Speaker 03

  What are you looking at? The wheel? Or are you looking at the screen? Or are you looking at the car? Yeah, outside.

• 2:00:13Joe Rogan?

  Well, I usually do it when I wanna make a phone call. So I'll make a phone call and I'll just be talking to a friend and I'll just be looking around. It's like you're having a conversation while you're getting a ride somewhere. It doesn't feel like you're driving, even though you're kinda sorta paying attention, just in case, just in case. I keep my hands there, but it, I'm fully comfortable with it.

• 2:00:31Speaker 04

  The one Waymo in Austin, remember they shut Waymo down for like a couple of months in Austin? It was like, they were like, these aren't ready. Cause there was a shootout in downtown Austin and the Waymo just pulled up right in the middle of it, between the cops and the people shooting.

• 2:00:41Joe Rogan?

  And blocked everything. Yeah. And also like too many of them get to an intersection. No one knows what to do.

• 2:00:46Speaker 03

  Wait, like four Waymos get to a, they don't

• 2:00:48Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, well, if it's nothing but Waymos, like there's twenty Waymos in one intersection, what the fuck happens? The craziest thing that happened in San Francisco, so Waymos operate on LiDAR, whereas Teslas operate on cameras. So the problem with LiDAR, when the grid goes down, so does the car.

• 2:01:05Joe Rogan?

  So fucking, the car stalled out, then Elon was like on Twitter going, I told you so. This is why I don't use it.

• 2:01:12Speaker 03

  Really?

• 2:01:12Joe Rogan?

  Stupid.

• 2:01:13Speaker 03

  What's the grid? I don't know.

• 2:01:14Joe Rogan?

  The power.

• 2:01:15Speaker 03

  The pow- oh.

• 2:01:16Joe Rogan?

  Like, power outages.

• 2:01:17Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 2:01:17Joe Rogan?

  So if there's a power outage that's controlling these cars.

• 2:01:21Speaker 03

  They just stop?

• 2:01:21Joe Rogan?

  I, I'm pretty sure they just stop. Maybe they pull over and they stop? I don't know if they stop right in the middle of the intersection.

• 2:01:27Speaker 03

  That's like a hacker's dream, dude.

• 2:01:28Joe Rogan?

  Well, there's a lot of hacker's dreams out there with all these cars.

• 2:01:32Speaker 03

  Shutting down all, like, once it all becomes, we're all reliant on WMO?

• 2:01:35Joe Rogan?

  So in Korea, a bunch of people got arrested recently in South Korea because they had hacked into their Teslas and they had enabled full self-driving, which is a subscription thing.

• 2:01:45Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:01:45Joe Rogan?

  Usually you have to pay for it. So these guys figured out a way, I mean, probably coders, like, why would I pay? Fuck you. And they went in and jail-broke the whole Tesla system and put in self-driving and they got arrested.

• 2:01:57Speaker 03

  Damn. I mean.

• 2:01:59Joe Rogan?

  It's interesting, right?

• 2:02:00Speaker 03

  It's good that they could do it.

• 2:02:02Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, it's kinda interesting.

• 2:02:03Speaker 02

  I don't even set up my Roomba. I'm afraid of the, all that stuff. It's like, I don't use Alexa in my house or any of that shit where people are like, you don't have Alexa turn the lights on and stuff. I was like, I don't know.

• 2:02:13Joe Rogan?

  Fuck Alexa. But it's weird, it's like, am I buying this thing and this thing is capable of doing that? And then you want me to pay money so the thing can do what it already can do? It seems like you're just taking money from me.

• 2:02:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, subscription.

• 2:02:25Joe Rogan?

  It seems like it's in the thing. Why don't you just sell the thing that does the thing? Why do I have to pay a subscription to make it do what it can do?

• 2:02:32Speaker 06

  I don't think it was because of subscription, it's that, they're not illegal, they're not legal in Korea.

• 2:02:36Joe Rogan?

  Oh!

• 2:02:37Speaker 06

  Full self-driving isn't legal there.

• 2:02:39Joe Rogan?

  Oh, only US-built models sold in South Korea like Model S, X, and Cybertruck that have full self-driving that, that's legally passed Korea's safety regulations, the outlet said, and since Korea also gets Chinese-built Model Ys and 3s, most Tesla drivers in the country can't access the feature through traditional means. That's interesting.

• 2:03:00Speaker 06

  But still, same point though, they, they bought the car, they should be able to do what they want with it, right?

• 2:03:05Joe Rogan?

  Right, right, you should be, well, I guess they're violating the law where you can't have a car drive itself. That's a different law they're violating than just breaking the subscription model. But if you did that in America, I wonder, I just, I'm not a fan of subscriptions.

• 2:03:19Speaker 06

  How would they know?

• 2:03:20Joe Rogan?

  There's, there's certain car manufacturers that make you charge, charge you with subscriptions that you could use Apple CarPlay.

• 2:03:26Speaker 02

  Yeah. I, I have to pay for an Audi subscription to-

• 2:03:29Joe Rogan?

  Fucking crazy.

• 2:03:31Speaker 02

  To use the internet in the Audi and other things is a monthly fee?

• 2:03:34Joe Rogan?

  It's a fucking USB-C cable. You plug it into your car and then it just immediately starts working. You want me to pay for that every month? That's crazy. Because you can get an aftermarket one? Like, I have muscle cars that have Apple CarPlay, like a 68 Ford that has Apple CarPlay. Like, how come I have to pay every month to use this? You're just stealing money.

• 2:03:54Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:03:55Joe Rogan?

  You're just sucking money out of my bank account.

• 2:03:57Speaker 02

  Isn't OnStar a thing like that? You have to pay to have OnStar, but like, shouldn't there just be like an emergency button in your car?

• 2:04:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:04:03Joe Rogan?

  Well, OnStar, I think the idea is you're paying because there's a bunch of people that are there that are working, so you're paying for a service. It's like, not just the car, it's like you're paying for the infrastructure.

• 2:04:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:04:13Joe Rogan?

  That's a little different.

• 2:04:14Speaker 03

  But the technology in the Tesla's already built in. It's whether or not you're just turning on or off, you know?

• 2:04:19Speaker 02

  Doesn't Tesla suck though? Like, if you have a, like a busted tire though, you can't go to like, you know, some guy named Gus.

• 2:04:24Joe Rogan?

  No, tires are the same. Same tires.

• 2:04:26Speaker 02

  Oh, I thought they'd come out and like take you to the fucking-

• 2:04:28Speaker 03

  They go through tires faster than, but I've had, my Tesla's got 106,000 miles, I've never put brakes on it, I never, no oil changes, no nothing.

• 2:04:36Joe Rogan?

  The beautiful thing about them is the, the, when you let off the gas, it breaks itself.

• 2:04:40Speaker 03

  They're a janitor brake, so that's how it stops, yeah.

• 2:04:42Joe Rogan?

  I barely touched the brake on my Tesla. I know now, like, how much distance I need when I see a red light ahead, I just let off the gas and just, whoo.

• 2:04:50Speaker 03

  Slows down to a stop.

• 2:04:51Joe Rogan?

  Slows down, and it's regenerating the battery while it's doing that a little bit.

• 2:04:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:04:54Joe Rogan?

  You know, the, the battery life, depending upon how you drive, I mean, it's not the best.

• 2:04:58Speaker 03

  Have you driven into BYD? I was in France and they were all over the place. They had no Teslas, but they're the Chinese, uh-

• 2:05:04Joe Rogan?

  Those are incredible.

• 2:05:05Speaker 03

  Insane.

• 2:05:05Joe Rogan?

  They're incredible.

• 2:05:06Speaker 03

  Insane. Like, they're, like, more comfortable than the, like, the Tesla.

• 2:05:10Joe Rogan?

  They have crazy ones now.

• 2:05:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:05:11Joe Rogan?

  They, they have a new supercar over there that's, it's like faster than anything you can buy in America. They're doing nutty shit with electric cars.

• 2:05:18Speaker 03

  BYD's here, it's China, you can't-

• 2:05:21Joe Rogan?

  It's a good question.

• 2:05:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:05:21Joe Rogan?

  It's a good question.

• 2:05:22Speaker 02

  Call me gay, I'm an analog guy. I like my cars two pedals.

• 2:05:26Speaker 03

  I know, my wife hates all this shit. She was, she won't even drive my car. She won't even, and I've had it for eight years.

• 2:05:32Joe Rogan?

  They work great.

• 2:05:32Speaker 03

  She hates it, it's so great.

• 2:05:33Joe Rogan?

  They work great.

• 2:05:34Speaker 03

  They really do.

• 2:05:35Joe Rogan?

  They're super fucking reliable and they're really fast. Though, they, like, I have the Model S Plaid.

• 2:05:41Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 2:05:41Joe Rogan?

  And when I'm at a red light, it just goes, like, if I want, the light turns green, it goes, shoo. You're just gone. No sound, no noise.

• 2:05:47Speaker 03

  It's like a rocket.

• 2:05:48Joe Rogan?

  Zero to 60 in 1.6 seconds. You're just gone.

• 2:05:51Speaker 03

  It's awesome.

• 2:05:52Joe Rogan?

  And meanwhile, it fucking handles, it's awesome.

• 2:05:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:05:55Joe Rogan?

  It's incredible. But it's also, it's just quiet.

• 2:05:58Speaker 02

  The charging thing is what gets me. I was gonna rent one one time and then I was, they were about to hand me the keys and I was like, oh, wait a minute, I don't have to find a charger for this when I'm going on a road trip?

• 2:06:07Joe Rogan?

  The rent one is a problem, but the thing is if it's at your house, you just pull into your house and you just plug it in at night. It's fucking easy.

• 2:06:13Speaker 03

  Mine goes from midnight to 7 a.m. It's like, you just, it's like a clock set.

• 2:06:17Speaker 02

  And you drive to the city and back home?

• 2:06:19Speaker 03

  I have two, I mean, the, the mileage is, I, when I first got mine, it was 310 was the, the maximum. Now, every year it goes down like 10 miles an hour, so now I'm like 250.

• 2:06:28Joe Rogan?

  It's like your battery in your phone.

• 2:06:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:06:30Joe Rogan?

  After a year or two, it gets worn out.

• 2:06:32Speaker 03

  It becomes less.

• 2:06:33Joe Rogan?

  Same kind of thing, but you could get the batteries replaced.

• 2:06:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:06:35Speaker 02

  I'm sure they have like portable, like, an extra battery that like is, uh, they don't have any of that?

• 2:06:39Speaker 03

  Have you seen the ones now?

• 2:06:40Joe Rogan?

  It's like a big deal.

• 2:06:41Speaker 03

  You can like buy a solar panel thing that you can bring on a road trip, right? So you gotta go hiking a mountain for a little bit, you wanna charge your car? You roll it out onto the roof of your car, you just plug it into the charger and the sun will charge your car while you're-

• 2:06:55Joe Rogan?

  Probably a little.

• 2:06:55Speaker 03

  A little bit, it's not like a supercharger, but you can get a couple miles back, you know, probably 10 miles an hour or something like that.

• 2:07:01Speaker 02

  Steve, you're an elitist.

• 2:07:02Speaker 03

  No, I'm just, I-

• 2:07:03Speaker 02

  Well, so what are you hiking in mountains, Steve?

• 2:07:05Speaker 03

  But I'm saying, you know, it's like-

• 2:07:06Joe Rogan?

  With a Tesla?

• 2:07:06Speaker 03

  Yeah. That's true.

• 2:07:08Speaker 02

  Do you do Tesla mountain hikes?

• 2:07:10Speaker 03

  That's what the commercial did, they were like in the mountain, they're like, I gotta go on a hike or something.

• 2:07:13Speaker 02

  It's like the herpes commercials where people are kayaking, like-

• 2:07:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, they looked great and fit, that's not me.

• 2:07:17Joe Rogan?

  I know the Cybertruck's very polarizing, but that fucking thing's incredible.

• 2:07:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:07:21Joe Rogan?

  It's incredible.

• 2:07:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:07:22Speaker 02

  You know what it's incredible for? I saw a person hauling furniture in the back of it and got on the highway and all of that furniture proceeded to fly off the thing.

• 2:07:29Joe Rogan?

  Well, that person's an idiot.

• 2:07:30Speaker 02

  What an idiot.

• 2:07:31Joe Rogan?

  They didn't tie their furniture down, that could've happened in a fucking Tacoma.

• 2:07:33Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, absolutely. It was so dumb.

• 2:07:35Speaker 04

  Dude, in Los Angeles, we went to the Tesla diner, we were like, oh, this is kinda cool, Tesla diner. First of all, the menu stinks, but then the cool part, they had like 10, it's a diner, there's like 10 items on the menu, it's fucking insane. So, the cool part is they have two gigantic movie screens, like, you could like pull up and wa, they have different movies playing, um, and you could just pull in and watch a movie in your car while you eat, but they only allow you to watch a movie in your car if you have a Tesla. So it's like the coolest part of the entire experience, you have to have a Tesla for.

• 2:08:02Joe Rogan?

  Interesting.

• 2:08:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:08:03Joe Rogan?

  Well, that makes sense though, I mean, why would, why would they allow their competitors to pull into the Tesla diner?

• 2:08:09Speaker 04

  They let me buy a goddamn cheeseburger.

• 2:08:11Joe Rogan?

  With a regular car?

• 2:08:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, I didn't have a car, I walked right in.

• 2:08:14Joe Rogan?

  How was the cheeseburger?

• 2:08:15Speaker 04

  Terrible.

• 2:08:15Joe Rogan?

  Really?

• 2:08:16Speaker 04

  It wasn't good, it was not a good diner.

• 2:08:17Speaker 03

  The guy's not building cheeseburgers, you know, it's like, let him do what he wants to do.

• 2:08:21Speaker 02

  If you need a cheeseburger to land itself.

• 2:08:24Joe Rogan?

  But it seems like if you can make a rocket get caught by a robot arm.

• 2:08:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, you should be able to make a good cheeseburger.

• 2:08:30Joe Rogan?

  Fucking cheeseburger.

• 2:08:31Speaker 04

  The self-eating cheeseburger.

• 2:08:33Joe Rogan?

  This is not rocket science, literally.

• 2:08:36Speaker 03

  It's true.

• 2:08:36Joe Rogan?

  It's a fucking cheeseburger.

• 2:08:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's the one thing you can't, it's the one thing-

• 2:08:38Joe Rogan?

  In-N-Out does it, you ever see the kids working at In-N-Out?

• 2:08:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:08:40Joe Rogan?

  You know, they're normal people.

• 2:08:41Speaker 02

  It's the one thing Musk can't figure out. It's the burger, it's always eluding me.

• 2:08:47Joe Rogan?

  It's too complicated, it's impossible, can't be done. I mean, there's a lot of people that can make a good burger, farm it out to them, but I, I would imagine if you're gonna be Tesla, you should put your name on a solid fucking burger.

• 2:08:58Speaker 02

  Solid burger.

• 2:08:59Joe Rogan?

  Space burger.

• 2:08:59Speaker 02

  Louis is a little uppity about food though lately.

• 2:09:01Speaker 04

  I'm a snob, I have the best burger in the world, San Sebastian Bardesi.

• 2:09:05Joe Rogan?

  What is that? Where's it?

• 2:09:06Speaker 04

  A place in San Sebastian, Spain called Bardesi.

• 2:09:09Joe Rogan?

  In Spain? You're a world traveler.

• 2:09:11Speaker 04

  I love to, I go, I, I travel all the time, so I spend my money on, and I brought my son on a father-son trip there.

• 2:09:16Speaker 03

  Low age of consent.

• 2:09:18Speaker 04

  We ate, uh, we went to this, we went to San Sebastian where it's like a huge eating culture, all of these like, uh, more Michelin star restaurants per square meter than anywhere else in the world.

• 2:09:27Joe Rogan?

  Really?

• 2:09:28Speaker 04

  And, uh, this one spot called Bardesi, they, yeah, they specialize just, it's literally meat, uh, like melted, like, uh, almost like a cream cheese and a bun.

• 2:09:35Speaker 03

  A brioche.

• 2:09:36Speaker 04

  It's, dude, it's like raw, it's barely cooked. I took the last bite of this burger and I got emotional, like I had taken like ecstasy. I was like, it was the best thing I've ever eaten in my entire life.

• 2:09:47Speaker 02

  You gotta take ecstasy again.

• 2:09:48Joe Rogan?

  What's the place called again?

• 2:09:48Speaker 04

  Bardesi.

• 2:09:49Joe Rogan?

  Bardesi.

• 2:09:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:09:50Speaker 02

  You know, I, I watch-

• 2:09:51Joe Rogan?

  It's San Sebastian.

• 2:09:52Speaker 02

  It's something about, when you're going for like, a thing you wouldn't eat all the time, like, not a very like ho-hum like thing, like a burger or something, I watch a guy's, uh, on Instagram that says stuff, he was, he was getting like, you know, the fifth best burger in the world in someplace overseas that he flew for and he goes, when he ate it, he was like, it's really good, it's a great burger, but I think with burgers you're just gonna find- You can only do, if you use good ingredients, you can just only do so much, it's gonna make it taste like,

• 2:10:20Speaker 04

  Nope.

• 2:10:20Speaker 02

  It's gonna be, you know what I mean? A great burger in America is not much less.

• 2:10:25Joe Rogan?

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• 2:11:55Joe Rogan?

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• 2:12:06Speaker 02

  Good, then that great burger you're gonna travel 18 hours on a plane for.

• 2:12:09Speaker 04

  Nothing like that burger, not even close. And I'm, I love a good burger. That burger was fucking crazy. I'm gonna go back in the next couple of years just for the burger.

• 2:12:17Joe Rogan?

  Is it the meat they're using?

• 2:12:18Speaker 04

  It's the meat. So that's the whole thing is like they're, like, they spent two years developing like their meat blend, fat to meat and like what, what they use. And, uh, yeah.

• 2:12:27Speaker 02

  The secret ingredient? Elk.

• 2:12:29Joe Rogan?

  Oh, okay.

• 2:12:30Speaker 02

  We'll be right back after these words.

• 2:12:31Joe Rogan?

  It's from the older cows. That's one of the things they do in Spain. Um, they, they like to cook older cows. Like they, you can get that at Bizarre Meat, Jose Andres, he, you know, he's Spanish.

• 2:12:43Speaker 04

  It's a great place.

• 2:12:43Joe Rogan?

  He's amazing. And his, uh, place, they'll, they'll sell those. They sell these older cows and it does taste different. It's really good.

• 2:12:51Speaker 04

  It was crazy.

• 2:12:52Joe Rogan?

  Very beefy.

• 2:12:53Speaker 02

  Do you have to age the meat then too, or is the?

• 2:12:54Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, they age them as well, but they, it's also an old cow. Instead of like, if you buy like a ribeye steak from a supermarket, it's probably a cow that's only like a year and a half old or something like that, and then they killed it and they chopped it up into meat. They get them big as quickly as possible. They chop them up. When you go to some of these like classic Spanish steak houses, there's some amazing Spanish steak houses that I've watched videos on, on Instagram. And the way these guys are cooking, they're cooking over like live coals and they just put salt all over the steak and the steak has fat that's like a dark yellow, like because they're just eating nothing but grass. They, they're never eating corn and they're laying these, these steaks down. They're sizzling them. And you see these people eating, they're like, what the fuck?

• 2:13:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, marbleization.

• 2:13:38Joe Rogan?

  The best steakhouse in the world is in Spain. I think like the number one rated steakhouse on earth is in Spain. I'm pretty sure.

• 2:13:46Speaker 02

  I think Ari and Bobby Kelly went to, uh, what's considered the best, you know, restaurant in the world somewhere in.

• 2:13:52Speaker 04

  Spain?

• 2:13:53Speaker 02

  No.

• 2:13:54Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:13:54Speaker 04

  They do, they do a list every year, like the best restaurants. It's Spain in the past like 20 years, 10 of the years have been restaurants in Spain. They're, they're very big into food culture.

• 2:14:04Speaker 02

  But it's like that movie, it's like the menu. Do you want to do something like that, Louis? Like the menu thing where you go to a place and they're like, you're eating this?

• 2:14:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, I do that every time, dude. When we, me and my son went, we went to three different Michelin star restaurants. We got the, uh,

• 2:14:16Speaker 02

  Tourist's Delight?

• 2:14:17Joe Rogan?

  That's it, Jamie, go back. Go back, but I'll tell you exactly the one. Would you go back to that, scroll up so I could see what it said? No, no, no. There, there's that Casa Julian. That, that place is, like, when you watch these guys cooking and it's, it's generally these guys that have been in these fucking places for decades.

• 2:14:35Speaker 04

  And they worked under some famous chef. They worked in his kitchen for 20 years and yeah.

• 2:14:40Joe Rogan?

  In the, you just watch it, you get fucking starving.

• 2:14:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, dude.

• 2:14:43Joe Rogan?

  It's incredible.

• 2:14:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, the preset menu, if you go to like a really, I went to the other day, I went to Hestia here. They have a tasting menu that's incredible.

• 2:14:51Joe Rogan?

  Like, look at the, oh, Hestia is great. So, but look at the fat. See how yellow the fat is?

• 2:14:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:14:57Joe Rogan?

  It's crazy, right?

• 2:14:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:14:58Joe Rogan?

  Like that fat is all just grass and they just put nothing but salt on it and they serve it rare. Like you get your steak rare. It's just seared on the outside and rare and it's.

• 2:15:10Speaker 02

  Exactly how I love it, dude.

• 2:15:11Joe Rogan?

  Fucking fantastic.

• 2:15:12Speaker 04

  So good.

• 2:15:13Joe Rogan?

  It's so good.

• 2:15:14Speaker 02

  Do they have a burger?

• 2:15:16Joe Rogan?

  I bet they do.

• 2:15:16Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 2:15:17Joe Rogan?

  I bet they do.

• 2:15:18Speaker 02

  Do they have a kids' menu? Chicken fingers?

• 2:15:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's too much fat for me.

• 2:15:23Speaker 02

  Now, my kids destroy meat.

• 2:15:24Joe Rogan?

  If I can only eat one thing for the rest of my life, 100%, it's ribeyes.

• 2:15:29Speaker 02

  Elk.

• 2:15:29Joe Rogan?

  No, I'd probably have ribeyes. Yeah, because I, you need, if you only had one thing, you need fat. And the problem with elk meat, which I love, is that you have to have fat with it. Like I usually eat it with bacon. I usually eat it with avocados. I'll eat it with other things. Because it's just pure protein. It's a much more dense animal, a much more dense protein. But like, if you had only one thing forever, it would, 100%, it'd be ribeyes.

• 2:15:56Joe Rogan?

  You get fat, you get protein. I don't think you need anything else.

• 2:15:58Speaker 02

  Chicken parm?

• 2:15:59Joe Rogan?

  Take your vitamins.

• 2:16:01Speaker 02

  I'd go cheese, I'd go cheesesteak.

• 2:16:03Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:16:04Speaker 02

  Hoagie. I think healthy, I would eat sushi. I could eat sushi for the rest of my life and be happy. Like just raw fish, but too much mercury.

• 2:16:11Joe Rogan?

  Mercury.

• 2:16:12Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 2:16:12Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you're not supposed to eat sushi every day.

• 2:16:14Speaker 02

  Do you ever?

• 2:16:15Joe Rogan?

  Especially tuna.

• 2:16:16Speaker 02

  You have, has your mind gone completely? There's no interest? Like a splurge for you would never be like a McDonald's one night?

• 2:16:20Joe Rogan?

  No, I'll have McDonald's. Yeah, I love, uh, I love those filet of fishes. Sometimes if I'm hammered.

• 2:16:26Speaker 02

  Good bun.

• 2:16:26Joe Rogan?

  We're somewhere, in some town, and there's nothing open, like after a show, there's nothing open, like, let's go to the fucking McDonald's.

• 2:16:33Speaker 02

  Some of the McDonald's will fuck you after midnight and not give you a fish filet. Burn it down, burn it down.

• 2:16:38Joe Rogan?

  Fish filet, you, you're under no illusion that there's anything healthy about anything that you're eating. You're eating a deep fried chunk of supposedly fish.

• 2:16:47Speaker 02

  North Atlantic cod.

• 2:16:49Joe Rogan?

  Whatever the fuck it is. It's pieces that they glued together.

• 2:16:52Speaker 02

  Tripoli had that fake, great joke. He was like, the, the filet of fish is a dollar. He's like, you can't even buy a fish for a dollar. He's like, go to a pet store. He's like, a goldfish is $3.

• 2:17:01Joe Rogan?

  That's crazy that it's a dollar. Is it really a dollar?

• 2:17:04Speaker 02

  Something like that. No, it's, it's probably six bucks now.

• 2:17:08Speaker 04

  I'm just never wasting, I'm never, if I'm eating a burger, I'm never wasting it on like McDonald's or like Wendy's. Like if I'm gonna get a burger, I'm gonna get a good burger, you know?

• 2:17:17Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, no, I agree. I mean, if I am, but if the only thing that's open is McDonald's, I'll say, I'll get a quarter pounder, fuck it.

• 2:17:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:17:24Speaker 04

  Big Mac is where it's at.

• 2:17:24Joe Rogan?

  I had a quarter pounder once for the first time in years, like a couple of years ago, and I haven't had one since, but I was, it was sweet. I was like, the, there's sugar in this bun.

• 2:17:33Speaker 04

  The bread, yeah, yeah.

• 2:17:34Joe Rogan?

  Like I taste sugar. Like it doesn't taste just like regular bread. I was like, this is weird.

• 2:17:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, McDonald's, like everything has like a film on it. Like the burger tastes the same as the fries in a weird way. You drink the soda, you're like, that kinda tastes like the burger.

• 2:17:44Joe Rogan?

  It was good.

• 2:17:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:17:45Speaker 02

  Did you say the thing that, when they, you ever see the experiments where you leave it out and nothing changed about it? And they always show it and they go, no, a lot of changed. A lot's changed about it.

• 2:17:53Speaker 04

  They have the one country where they banned McDonald's, it was somewhere in Europe, and they have it like on display and like almost like a museum. They were like, the last burger, or the last McDonald's burger that was sold.

• 2:18:03Joe Rogan?

  Still hasn't rotted.

• 2:18:03Speaker 04

  It's been like 20 years and it looks the exact same.

• 2:18:05Joe Rogan?

  Well, that's why we're all fucked up in America. It's the preservatives.

• 2:18:08Speaker 02

  Did you ever, I mean, the commercials, did you ever do a commercial? I did a McDonald's commercial and like the burger, they have a chef that comes and makes the burger. So it's like the best version of a McDonald's burger ever that you're using to, you know, that's what you're eating on the day. But nothing ever looks like that. Like they have someone specifically come to make that burger.

• 2:18:28Joe Rogan?

  I used to say that it's like an actress's headshots.

• 2:18:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're like, it's not real.

• 2:18:32Joe Rogan?

  That's not what you're gonna get when they show up for the audition.

• 2:18:35Speaker 02

  At this point, if you get McDonald's though, when it's hot, it's piping hot, you go, this is a good McDonald's. That's all it takes anymore. If it's just hot, you're happy.

• 2:18:41Joe Rogan?

  Well, you wanna go when they're busy.

• 2:18:43Speaker 02

  Cause they're turning over a lot, yeah.

• 2:18:44Joe Rogan?

  You don't have something just sitting under a lightbulb.

• 2:18:46Speaker 02

  It's always like a late night, there's nothing else thing.

• 2:18:49Joe Rogan?

  That's a problem. But like, if you want a late night, I think Wendy's is the move. Wendy's is probably the best burger. Like as far as like fast food, reliable burger, Wendy's is pretty fucking good.

• 2:19:00Speaker 02

  You know, we decided years ago, we, uh, we did an early Legion of Skanks episode where we, it was talking about those girls, those poor girls in, uh, Cleveland. Do you remember that the girl escaped and got out, ran to the neighborhood and they were being held by that guy in like the attic and they were getting pregnant for years?

• 2:19:16Speaker 04

  No, they were in the basement.

• 2:19:17Speaker 02

  I think it was both, I think they were at different places, multiple girls. And he'd get them pregnant and some of them had babies. He would kick them until they had miscarriages. And it was, and they, and they caught him. The girls got out, they caught him, he killed himself in jail. One of the facts of the story was. Um, every day, he fed them McDonald's. There's McDonald's across the street and every day he fed them McDonald's. And we were saying, if you had to live that nightmare, but you can choose the fast food that you would eat every day, what would it be? Wendy's was the clear winner.

• 2:19:49Speaker 04

  Well, the, the episode was called Subway Counts, because we figured out that Subway Counts is fast food.

• 2:19:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, Subway Fast Food.

• 2:19:54Speaker 04

  It was an Ari Shaffir episode, but it's not just what type of fast food you have every day. The, the question really was if you were being raped by a guy who kidnapped you, what fast food would you want every day?

• 2:20:02Speaker 02

  Forever.

• 2:20:03Speaker 03

  Chick-fil-A.

• 2:20:03Speaker 02

  Chained to a radiator. But your one pleasure a day, you go, it's like, at least I'm getting the fast food I want.

• 2:20:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:20:10Speaker 02

  Uh, and Wendy's is, Wendy's is, well, no, because there's not enough stuff.

• 2:20:14Speaker 04

  You have that breakfast.

• 2:20:15Speaker 02

  Wendy has salad, they got, uh, baked potatoes.

• 2:20:17Speaker 04

  Wendy's isn't a breakfast.

• 2:20:18Joe Rogan?

  You're an animal if you're eating a salad at Wendy's and pretending you're healthy.

• 2:20:22Speaker 02

  No, but no, I'm saying you're healthy, you're pretending, you're, you're trying.

• 2:20:25Speaker 03

  Variety.

• 2:20:26Speaker 04

  Variety.

• 2:20:26Joe Rogan?

  Well, you're, in your scenario.

• 2:20:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're chained to a radiator.

• 2:20:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't know that Chick-fil-A counts.

• 2:20:32Joe Rogan?

  It's a good time for me to piss. Hold on before it falls.

• 2:20:34Speaker 04

  Alright, boys.

• 2:20:34Joe Rogan?

  Unless anybody else wants to go.

• 2:20:35Speaker 04

  Let's take it over.

• 2:20:36Speaker 03

  Um, yeah, no, for me, it's, for me, it's Burger King.

• 2:20:41Speaker 04

  Burger King has got a great breakfast, a croissant, which is an incredible, the, the original croissant, which the first people to ever put breakfast on a croissant was Burger. Or King, Burger King.

• 2:20:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:20:50Speaker 04

  They got a gr- the, the chicken sandwich, the rectangular chicken sandwich.

• 2:20:53Speaker 02

  I unapologetically will put the Whopper against that stupid Spain burger you had.

• 2:20:58Speaker 03

  I love a Whopper, dude.

• 2:20:59Speaker 04

  That's actually crazy.

• 2:21:00Speaker 02

  Oh, is it now?

• 2:21:01Speaker 04

  You don't really believe that. This is the thing, sometimes Jay, you say things and I'm like, you don't actually believe that, so what are we doing?

• 2:21:05Speaker 03

  But you know what, though, dude? You appreciate it. He just might be like, I ha- I like a burger and a burger. Yeah, burgers taste like burgers.

• 2:21:13Speaker 04

  This burger, guys, I shit you not, like, you know when like you go to breathe and you kind of like do the lip quiver, like, like, I did that when I ate the last bite. I was emotional. And then I walked over to a place, I got some Basque cheesecake.

• 2:21:24Speaker 02

  You have a lot of unresolved shit you gotta work out with the doctor, man. It's got nothing to do with that burger. It's something to do with like loss and tragedy or something.

• 2:21:32Speaker 03

  This burger represents something to you, Louis. That's the thing you're missing.

• 2:21:35Speaker 02

  Wow, you wish you could have shared this with your father. It's like that kind of thing. Like, my dad ever took me for a Spanish burger.

• 2:21:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:21:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's that. It's emotions that aren't, it's nothing to do, you're out of control.

• 2:21:45Speaker 04

  Maybe. Well, guys.

• 2:21:46Speaker 02

  Definitely.

• 2:21:48Speaker 04

  Go watch Legion of Skanks. Wal- Waljo's on here. Go watch Legion of Skanks.

• 2:21:51Speaker 02

  Skank Fest happening.

• 2:21:52Speaker 04

  Three for Life. Skank Fest happening, Single Day Passes, get them now. Ari Shaffir returning this year, Mark Normand, uh, fucking Jim Norton.

• 2:22:01Speaker 03

  Tim Dillon.

• 2:22:02Speaker 04

  Christina P. Tim Dillon is officially booked. He shows up every year. Eric Andre for the first time.

• 2:22:07Speaker 03

  Oh, nice.

• 2:22:08Speaker 04

  So then I said, dude, I don't want to suck your dick. How about that?

• 2:22:11Speaker 02

  Did you see the, speaking of Eric Andre, did you see the, him and Chet Hanks?

• 2:22:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:22:16Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, what was that about?

• 2:22:17Speaker 03

  They fought.

• 2:22:18Joe Rogan?

  In a fistfight?

• 2:22:19Speaker 03

  I thought they, no?

• 2:22:20Speaker 02

  Didn't get to a fistfight. No, they got like separated, but like, it's funny, like, Eric, I can't tell if Eric's nervous about it or not for real, because Chet Hanks did go get in his face. And it was like, they just don't like, I guess, I guess Eric Andre, like, you know, he's like the crazy guy who does the stuff, but Chet Hanks came on his show as one of the few celebrities knowing what he was going into.

• 2:22:39Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 2:22:40Speaker 02

  And so he fucking fucked with the show back, and I think Eric Andre didn't like that.

• 2:22:43Speaker 04

  Oh, really?

• 2:22:44Speaker 02

  I think. And it's like, so they just kind of had like a beef going on, but he cornered him at some Comic Con or something.

• 2:22:49Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he was claiming that, uh, Eric said something about him, right?

• 2:22:53Speaker 02

  He did. I think he calls him, you know, I think he just kind of discredited him, he's like, say he was the shittiest guest or something, maybe on the show, something like that. It was like, whatever it was, like, Chet Hanks seems pissed about it. But to have Tom Hanks' son angry at you, and then it comes at you, and it turns out he's a confused country wigger type guy. I don't know what he is. He does, he does seven genres of music.

• 2:23:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:23:13Speaker 02

  The guy used to do R and B.

• 2:23:15Joe Rogan?

  For real?

• 2:23:16Speaker 02

  It was R and B, and then it became rap, and then now it's country, and now it's back to kind of country rap.

• 2:23:21Speaker 04

  Well, the rap to country pipeline is a real thing that's happening now.

• 2:23:24Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:23:24Speaker 03

  Shaboozie.

• 2:23:25Speaker 04

  Rappers are kind of figuring out like, oh, I could just do country music. It's the easiest, yeah, the easiest music to sing, like.

• 2:23:31Speaker 02

  Jelly Roll was a rapper.

• 2:23:33Speaker 04

  Yeah. What's his name, uh, the other guy, too?

• 2:23:35Speaker 03

  Teddy Swims?

• 2:23:35Speaker 02

  Yellow Wolf?

• 2:23:36Speaker 03

  No.

• 2:23:37Speaker 04

  Yellow Wolf.

• 2:23:38Speaker 02

  Country? Huh?

• 2:23:39Speaker 04

  He has country now?

• 2:23:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, I think everyone just kind of, it's like a transition to country music. I think you do a lot of bad things when you're a rapper and then you find God.

• 2:23:46Joe Rogan?

  It's gotta be weird being Tom Hanks' son, too. Trying to find your own path, and everybody's like, oh, fuck it, Tom Hanks is kid.

• 2:23:53Speaker 02

  Well, also because the other one is so Tom Hanks-y. The fact that this one's got like neck tattoo, uh, Colin Hanks, so he was like an actor and a bunch of stuff. And he's like.

• 2:24:00Joe Rogan?

  I didn't even know there was another one.

• 2:24:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's like, you've seen him.

• 2:24:02Speaker 04

  He's pretty well-known.

• 2:24:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, he was in, he was in the movie Orange County years ago with, uh, he was the star of that.

• 2:24:06Speaker 04

  Kind of like a dweeby guy.

• 2:24:08Speaker 02

  He's a total Tom Hanks, though. Exactly. He's like a guy who tucks in his button-down shirt on a Sunday. But like, and then the son's a neck tattoo, you know, like, uh, like, uh, code switch, and it's great. He got in trouble one time for talking patois, and he's like, I don't give a shit. Ya bum ba club. And then he just made a rap song doing it. I half-respect it all.

• 2:24:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:24:28Joe Rogan?

  You can get in trouble for talking that talk?

• 2:24:30Speaker 02

  Hmm?

• 2:24:31Joe Rogan?

  Cultural appropriation?

• 2:24:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:24:34Joe Rogan?

  So stupid.

• 2:24:35Speaker 02

  It's so, uh, yeah.

• 2:24:36Joe Rogan?

  That shit's so stupid. What's really hilarious is black ladies complaining about cultural appropriation while they have white wigs on.

• 2:24:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, oh, yeah.

• 2:24:43Joe Rogan?

  Like, a white lady wig on, like, this is crazy. Like, look at your hair. This is like, literally insane.

• 2:24:48Speaker 04

  Uh, like, big black women intimidating, like, small white girls with braids. It's like, take those braids out your hair right now, bitch.

• 2:24:53Joe Rogan?

  The take your braids out talk is crazy.

• 2:24:57Speaker 02

  You guys sit there and pick it out?

• 2:24:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm sorry.

• 2:25:00Joe Rogan?

  Take your braids out. It's fucking crazy.

• 2:25:02Speaker 02

  You're cultural appropriating, or you went to the Bahamas.

• 2:25:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:25:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:25:06Joe Rogan?

  Or you were a Roman.

• 2:25:09Joe Rogan?

  Braids have been around since the beginning of time. It's hilarious.

• 2:25:12Speaker 02

  But again, it's somewhere in the ether, people find that, people are told one day you're supposed to be angry about it. You know what I'm saying? That's the same, we went back to earlier, we were saying, like, the blackface thing. No one thought anything of it, would bewitched, everyone was in blackface.

• 2:25:25Joe Rogan?

  When did it become a real, was it the internet? It must be.

• 2:25:29Speaker 03

  I think it was, really Ted Danson was like the one, they put him on like the New York Post or something. It was like big time.

• 2:25:35Speaker 02

  It was bad.

• 2:25:36Joe Rogan?

  When Howard Stern parodied Ted Danson.

• 2:25:39Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:25:40Speaker 02

  Way worse.

• 2:25:41Joe Rogan?

  Ten times worse.

• 2:25:42Speaker 02

  I think he's buried it completely.

• 2:25:44Joe Rogan?

  Oh, you could find it.

• 2:25:44Speaker 02

  For sure, but I mean, he's, he's tried to get rid of it all.

• 2:25:47Speaker 04

  That's when Howard was awesome.

• 2:25:48Speaker 02

  He's, uh, I mean, that was wa- it was awesome, but even when he was doing it, you were kind of like, I mean, it was on TV. It was on, it was on Channel, uh,

• 2:25:56Speaker 03

  UPN nine?

• 2:25:57Speaker 02

  Uh, in Philly, it was like the WB or whatever.

• 2:25:59Speaker 04

  E- Entertainment he was on.

• 2:26:01Joe Rogan?

  Wild.

• 2:26:01Speaker 02

  No, no, that thing?

• 2:26:03Speaker 03

  No, that.

• 2:26:03Speaker 02

  That thing was on his, uh, Channel nine show.

• 2:26:06Speaker 03

  It's like his UPN nine show, whatever it was.

• 2:26:07Joe Rogan?

  Imagine that, he's doing a radio show every day. He's got to get up at fucking five o'clock in the morning, do that radio show, and then he's also doing a TV show. At the same time.

• 2:26:17Speaker 02

  Oh, that, that, oh, yeah, he was, they were getting that, he told that schedule was crazy.

• 2:26:20Joe Rogan?

  What is this? This is Bewitched?

• 2:26:22Speaker 02

  It's the Bewitched, everyone's, yeah.

• 2:26:24Joe Rogan?

  Oh, this is crazy.

• 2:26:25Speaker 04

  But it's B apostrophe W I T C A G D?

• 2:26:30Joe Rogan?

  Oh, you know how, who had something on blackface, Jamie? Cody Tucker, you know Cody, the guy was on our podcast recently, had a thing on Joni Mitchell. Like, Joni Mitchell, uh, had invented some character for something, and it was her in blackface, dressed up as a man. Yeah.

• 2:26:49Speaker 03

  And singing songs?

• 2:26:50Joe Rogan?

  Well, here, I'll play the Cody Tucker thing. It's crazy.

• 2:26:54Speaker 02

  I think the song Time, the video for Time by Culture Club's got a bunch of people in blackface.

• 2:26:58Joe Rogan?

  Here it is.

• 2:27:01Joe Rogan?

  This is crazy. ... musicians of all time, and is known for her socially progressive messages within her music. Despite that, Joni Mitchell has had some interesting moments when it comes to race.

• 2:27:14Speaker 04

  This guy's gonna be at Skank Fest.

• 2:27:15Joe Rogan?

  She was once asked to introduce Muhammad Ali at Madison Square Garden, and told fellow musician Joan Baez that she was going to introduce him to the crowd as a jive-ass N-word. Luckily, she decided against it. In nineteen seventy-seven, Joni Mitchell released the album Don Juan's Reckless Daughter. The cover of that album featured an African-American man named Art Nouveau. Except, Art Nouveau wasn't an actual person, but instead, Joni Mitchell dressed in total blackface.

• 2:27:49Speaker 03

  Whoa, she looks like my dad.

• 2:27:51Joe Rogan?

  She has had an affinity for blackface for quite some time, and is dressed as her African-American alter ego on multiple occasions. Joni Mitchell is one of the most iconic. Okay, that's it. That's crazy.

• 2:28:04Speaker 02

  You know, is that the shirt he was wearing?

• 2:28:05Joe Rogan?

  That's a different time. Back then, that was just her being silly. That wasn't even racist. No one even thought of that as being racist. Just pretending to be a person that's black.

• 2:28:15Speaker 03

  Introducing Muhammad Ali as a jive, man.

• 2:28:17Joe Rogan?

  That's an issue. That's an issue.

• 2:28:19Speaker 02

  But you know what's crazy is no matter how much.

• 2:28:21Joe Rogan?

  That's hearsay.

• 2:28:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:28:22Speaker 02

  But I'm saying, all, all the activism she's done and all the stuff she's done, I'm sure the positive stuff she's done, uh, it, that does get, for some people, that just wipes it completely. That's what I'm saying, they don't, they don't go.

• 2:28:32Joe Rogan?

  That's one of the reasons why they do it. They, they signal to the base that they're a good person now, and they go way overboard. When you notice like men that go way overboard with the woke shit, they're usually got some fucking shady shit in their past.

• 2:28:46Speaker 02

  That's, they always get in the air with it. That's the Bill Cosby effect, right?

• 2:28:49Joe Rogan?

  Well, it's like a lot of these guys that went like, you know, I hate to throw Stern on the bus, but he went super woke, and one of the problems is if you go back through his archives, there's horrendous shit in there.

• 2:28:59Speaker 02

  Vicious.

• 2:28:59Joe Rogan?

  But it was like, at the time, that was fun. Like, when we used to do O and A, like, it was shock jock. Like, we were shocking each other on purpose, saying fucking completely outrageous shit. And if you're a person that, you know, wants to be accepted by the Democratic Party, and you want to be, like, there's comes a certain moment in time where you have to abandon all that stuff, and you have to completely buy into whatever the fuck they're saying.

• 2:29:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:29:24Speaker 03

  You gotta take the oath.

• 2:29:25Speaker 04

  One of the best things that Jay ever came up with when we were doing, we were like three years into Legion of Skanks, and Jay was like, we should start calling it the most offensive podcast on earth. So when people come, they know exactly what they're gonna get. I think it's why we've never gotten in trouble for all the horrible shit we've said.

• 2:29:38Joe Rogan?

  You also did a brilliant thing, and that's you went subscription early on. You're like, look, fuck advertising, fuck all this, let's just like have this. Everybody knows what we're doing, have the fans pay for it, but give them what they want.

• 2:29:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:29:51Joe Rogan?

  And you guys have always stuck to that. It's always, you've never watered it down. It's always been chaos. It's always been Ari shitting on stage or whatever. Someone fucking a flashlight, like, it's, you guys.

• 2:30:02Speaker 04

  Oh, I was getting jerked off by a flashlight, Joe.

• 2:30:03Joe Rogan?

  He fucked, he fucked.

• 2:30:04Speaker 02

  No, he fucked the flashlight.

• 2:30:05Joe Rogan?

  He fucked Big J by proxy, touched him. It's like electricity went through you. It's like, that's the right way to do it, you know? Kumia did that with Compound Media. It's like, that's the way to do it. If you want to be that, if you want to go like this straight progression from like Opie and Anthony, Satellite Radio, wildness, right into that. Like, on Opie and Anthony, we did that fucking thing where that guy, they did the big bird. You saw that?

• 2:30:29Speaker 03

  The baby bird?

• 2:30:30Joe Rogan?

  The baby bird, yeah.

• 2:30:31Speaker 03

  Oh, dude, I remember that.

• 2:30:32Joe Rogan?

  With me and Burr and Ari, and I think Ari might have named it the baby bird. Someone. Uh, but it was basically my idea, uh, because of Fear Factor. I was like, why don't you lay your head over that barrel and he'll throw up in your mouth? And this guy was like, okay.

• 2:30:51Joe Rogan?

  And then the amount of puke that came out of this guy's mouth. And so this was on a flip phone, you can watch the video. So the flip phone is like terrible resolution because it's like 2003 or something like that.

• 2:31:01Speaker 03

  I was never more jealous.

• 2:31:03Joe Rogan?

  That was the amount and that was in.

• 2:31:04Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 2:31:06Joe Rogan?

  Pat Duffy, shout out to Pat Duffy. He was the intern.

• 2:31:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, FoundryMusic.com, that's what other stuff was on.

• 2:31:11Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:31:12Speaker 02

  That was like their, that was their website, sort of.

• 2:31:14Speaker 04

  That's crazy.

• 2:31:14Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, and remember they used to like stream it live on the internet on a laptop? There was some fucking PalTalk or something you had to get. Yeah, oh, it was insane.

• 2:31:22Speaker 02

  That was a collapse.

• 2:31:24Joe Rogan?

  Complete insanity. See, watch the video, PalTalk, yeah, watch the video because the video's nuts because you, it's either my phone or someone else's phone, I forget who got the video of it. But it's super low resolution, you know, this is like a 2003 video. Inevitable loss. Joe Rogan playing Caroline's all weekend long.

• 2:31:47Joe Rogan?

  With The Amazing Racist, uh, opening up. Pat, how are you? That was Ari Shaffir. He used to call himself The Amazing Racist.

• 2:31:52Speaker 04

  I knew Ari Shaffir from The Amazing Racist before I knew Ari Shaffir. Me and Dave Smith would rent the, the National Lampoon's video that had The Amazing Racist on it.

• 2:32:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:32:01Speaker 04

  And we were like, this is the funniest thing I've ever seen, then we met Ari, we were like, the fuck with The Amazing Racist?

• 2:32:05Speaker 02

  It was made by the Shamwell guy.

• 2:32:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's true.

• 2:32:07Joe Rogan?

  That caused him so many problems early in his career.

• 2:32:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:32:10Joe Rogan?

  Ari's always been a maniac from the jump.

• 2:32:15Joe Rogan?

  Scoot along a little bit here.

• 2:32:16Speaker 06

  Where's this camera footage of it? This guy's got a really nice camera.

• 2:32:19Speaker 03

  Oh, what's he drinking, dude?

• 2:32:20Joe Rogan?

  Uh, that's, that's a guy working for O and A.

• 2:32:25Speaker 02

  Does he have to open his mouth for it?

• 2:32:26Joe Rogan?

  So he's at 75 shots of, 75 shots.

• 2:32:32Speaker 06

  Yeah, that's fine.

• 2:32:32Joe Rogan?

  People are calling from all over America. So, and also, yeah, also he's diabetic.

• 2:32:38Speaker 03

  Oh, Jesus.

• 2:32:39Joe Rogan?

  So there's the, there's the beginning, so here's the start. So he drinks the last one and it, so that's the beginning. But no, it's impossible volume, the volume is impossible. Look at that.

• 2:32:52Speaker 03

  Oh my god!

• 2:32:54Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, no, no, no, it keeps going, keep going. It, no, it goes beyond real, it's like cartoonish, like you can't believe it's real. Watch this, here it comes.

• 2:33:05Joe Rogan?

  He's gonna hang in there, here he goes. He's holding on.

• 2:33:11Speaker 02

  That guy's covered.

• 2:33:14Speaker 02

  We're artists.

• 2:33:15Joe Rogan?

  Here he goes. But no, you, you're still not stunned enough, here it comes.

• 2:33:24Joe Rogan?

  This is not over, by any means.

• 2:33:27Speaker 04

  Who's the person getting vomited into their mouth?

• 2:33:29Joe Rogan?

  That's Pat Duffy, kid's an animal.

• 2:33:40Joe Rogan?

  Where's the rest of it? Oh, you must have cut it out of the beginning. Did you just fast forward?

• 2:33:46Speaker 06

  Not really.

• 2:33:51Speaker 02

  He covers his clothes at one point.

• 2:33:53Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 2:33:54Joe Rogan?

  Watch, watch this. Like that one. That's insanity.

• 2:33:58Speaker 03

  That's, like a gallon.

• 2:34:00Joe Rogan?

  And again, he threw up in his mouth like five fucking times.

• 2:34:03Speaker 02

  Isn't it crazy, that show ended like a rock band.

• 2:34:06Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:34:07Speaker 02

  Like the way they all just like fucking, it was so like.

• 2:34:10Joe Rogan?

  There it is, there it is, there's the big one.

• 2:34:13Speaker 02

  I came right at the end of, I came right at the end of O B and Anthony.

• 2:34:16Joe Rogan?

  Oh, it was so fun.

• 2:34:17Speaker 02

  And I started doing, I started doing Ron and Fez of Pennington.

• 2:34:19Joe Rogan?

  Those, those guys are great too.

• 2:34:20Speaker 03

  Oh, Jesus.

• 2:34:21Joe Rogan?

  It was my favorite time ever doing radio, it was like the one radio that I would look forward to. Cause it was, I always say that that's the birth of podcasting, me and Colin were talking about it yesterday. That's how it started. Because they, it was so open-ended, they just let you do whatever, they just, it was just a hang.

• 2:34:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, there was no like, give me three topics you wanna, we'll bring up and you can do jokes about them, it was like.

• 2:34:40Joe Rogan?

  And they didn't have segments that they had to get to.

• 2:34:41Speaker 04

  And they were smarter than Stern because they would bring in comics, like good comics.

• 2:34:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, killers dude.

• 2:34:45Speaker 04

  And they would sit back and let everyone just fuck with each other.

• 2:34:48Joe Rogan?

  Exactly.

• 2:34:48Speaker 02

  At the time that Stern wasn't accepting any new. You know what I mean, like new.

• 2:34:52Speaker 04

  But Stern, so the comics that Stern had was like, they weren't good comedians, they became comedians because they had like a name from the Stern show.

• 2:34:59Speaker 02

  No, you're going, you're going a different direction, I'm talking about when he would have like guests.

• 2:35:03Joe Rogan?

  Here's another angle.

• 2:35:04Speaker 02

  He got like, he had like Sam Kinison like early game.

• 2:35:08Speaker 03

  Oh my god!

• 2:35:09Joe Rogan?

  He had Kinison, he had all those guys on, but Howard would do an interview and he would control the interview. The difference between that and O and A is, O and A was just a hang, you know, it was like, Louis, what's going on? He would sit down, Dort would start shitting on you, Voss would shit on you, it would get crazy, Patrice would shit on you, it was just everybody laughing, everybody having fun.

• 2:35:26Speaker 04

  One of my favorite moments just in, like, if you're a podcast fan or if you are a podcaster, go watch the first time Voss brought Patrice O'Neal into O B and Anthony. And within like three seconds, Patrice just takes over, he starts trashing Voss, like, within 10 seconds, he's trashing Voss. And it's one of the most brilliant, like, just comfortable, like, just immediately so comfortable and just took over the room and out, like, out, out at everybody, it's fucking brilliant.

• 2:35:52Speaker 02

  He'd be in prison today.

• 2:35:54Joe Rogan?

  That was the birth of podcasting. And then, you know, all the stuff that we do, whether you guys do, Legion of Skanks, all that stuff, it came out of that.

• 2:36:01Speaker 04

  We're direct descendants of, a lot of our early fans were like, oh, this is like a continuation of O B and Anthony.

• 2:36:07Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, people still like that, still fun. Like, people don't wanna be lectured and scolded and talked down to and fucking be told what words to use and not words to use, fuck you. People are tired of it, they want just people talking shit and being entertained. The same way you do when you're hanging out at a bar, the same way you do when you go over to your friend's house, you have a couple beers, that's how people talk.

• 2:36:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:36:30Speaker 02

  I was gonna say with the Stern thing, do you think, like, I, I was such a fan for so long, I stayed in there like pretty close till now. But I don't really listen anymore now, because it's not that he got woke is the thing, I guess it is more that than like, where he changed, a lot of people complained, but I do understand age getting to a point where you're like, well, I don't wanna do like the Pussy Olympics with the porn stars. I get, I get aging out of that, I mean, his daughters are, you know, I had the same thing.

• 2:36:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, Dave Smith.

• 2:36:56Speaker 02

  But like, I was saying, age out of it, but it's also like to have it all go so like, I mean, he's like interviewed everyone that was like his enemy. Like, but like interviewed them in a way where it's like, hey, Kathie Lee, remember I made fun of you? Now, tell me about this lovely song you wrote for your dead husband, which is like crazy.

• 2:37:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:37:13Speaker 02

  Like an awful thing she wrote, like, he's just like, now it's like, he's like, we're at dinner parties together, so I think he's like, he's not going at them like that anymore.

• 2:37:20Joe Rogan?

  Well, it's gotta be weird, man, because like, when he was doing it in the early days, there was no internet. So there was no feedback. And one of the things that I remember in the early days of Twitter, like, he used to get on Twitter, they used to get on, and, and Instagram and this, and you'd read the comments. And they were fucking horrendous. Because that's what you've cultivated, you've cultivated a bunch of vicious people. Like, remember the pests from O and A?

• 2:37:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:37:46Joe Rogan?

  They were the most vicious, the most vicious.

• 2:37:49Speaker 04

  And then they turned on O B and Anthony, which is the funniest part of all of it. Like, they, they just started, it became a game to just torture the hosts of that show.

• 2:37:56Speaker 03

  Oh god.

• 2:37:57Joe Rogan?

  They're animals. And they were having fun, and it's like, look, this is what you set up, this is a culture you set up.

• 2:38:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:38:03Joe Rogan?

  And so, I don't think you like that. And then, there was also, like, once the internet came around, then the woke shit started happening. And then people started finding stuff that he had said and done, and he was getting attacked for it, like, you'd never been attacked this whole life.

• 2:38:15Speaker 04

  The internet made virtue signaling very easy. And that's like, it's addictive things, the only time somebody will get like 10 likes on a post, right? Because they're like saying this thing that it's like, oh, look, I'm holier than thou, and then they get a little attention and you're like, oh, cool, that's, that's valuable to me, it's the most attention I've ever gotten in my life.

• 2:38:30Speaker 02

  Howard Stern also had an army behind him at one point, whenever, when shit did come at him, there was like an army screaming a lot louder, that army is now like, you know.

• 2:38:37Joe Rogan?

  Well, the internet came around.

• 2:38:38Speaker 02

  Handfuls of like, you know, old retired mic fitters and stuff.

• 2:38:40Joe Rogan?

  It's a different thing, it was, all that was before the internet, you, you have to really take that into consideration, like, he was the real original pioneer. He was the one doing crazy shit, getting fined by the government, but there was no feedback, and there was no other people. And he would like controlled market, he would attack whoever was in the market, and he would go into it to just say horrible things about their families, horrible things.

• 2:39:02Speaker 02

  But also the, and also everybody's copying him.

• 2:39:04Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, true.

• 2:39:05Speaker 02

  Like, if you're talking on radio, he's like, everyone's copying me, and it's like, he's not wrong.

• 2:39:08Joe Rogan?

  He's right.

• 2:39:09Speaker 02

  But he didn't accept kudos for that, like, yeah, like, it's like, you're awesome, so we wanna do it too. He's like, well, I'll end you for trying to be able to do a comedy, it's like, well, you can't be the only funny radio thing ever, you opened up a genre now.

• 2:39:20Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, you can't be hating other dudes who are doing the same shit you do and you could be the only one, that's crazy.

• 2:39:27Speaker 02

  Once he got Sirius XM, he stopped giving a shit about like FM, right, now that everybody was, all of a sudden was like, guy's a great broadcaster, like, that's all he says now, in hindsight.

• 2:39:34Joe Rogan?

  Well, the other thing was that, like, when you think about back then, there was only a few slots. So there was one morning slot from 6 a.m. to 10 a.m. that everybody wanted, that was the drive time morning and Howard owned that. He owned that syndicated all across the country. So as soon as the internet came around, no one's competing for slots anymore, now it's wide open, the podcast goes out, the whole world. So everybody realized this isn't a feast or famine anymore, it's not like if you guys have a show, then I can't have a show because that slot is taking up on WXM radio.

• 2:40:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:40:03Joe Rogan?

  That doesn't exist, so it's just wide open, so then everybody was, was cool, and they weren't, like, in the old days of like The Tonight Show, like, you heard about like Jay Leno hiding in the closet while they're talking about David Letterman.

• 2:40:16Speaker 03

  Stuff, yeah.

• 2:40:16Joe Rogan?

  They were all like fighting against each other because there was only scraps.

• 2:40:20Speaker 02

  Few spots.

• 2:40:21Joe Rogan?

  There was only a tiny amount of spots, and there was a million guys who wanted to host The Tonight Show.

• 2:40:24Speaker 03

  Yes, Stern comes from that era of being like, I have to be the best or everyone else is gonna catch up to me.

• 2:40:29Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, a different attitude.

• 2:40:30Speaker 02

  Those antiquated comedy ideas are great, can you, I mean, even in my time in comedy, I remember the nights of like, ABC scouts are in the audience. It's like, what the fuck, okay, here's a shit.

• 2:40:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:40:41Speaker 02

  Like, but there's a time, there was a time when there was like, alright, they put me on that NBC showcase happening over at this comedy, and you realize it means nothing, jack shit ever, HBO's doing a showcase.

• 2:40:50Joe Rogan?

  Certainly doesn't now, in the 90s it meant something.

• 2:40:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:40:53Joe Rogan?

  In the 90s, you get a development deal and it would change your fucking life.

• 2:40:57Speaker 02

  Everybody did, and then there was like, that poor guy who killed himself, they always.

• 2:41:00Joe Rogan?

  Chicken.

• 2:41:01Speaker 02

  They always used his name, Michael Roof, right, Michael Chicken Roof?

• 2:41:04Joe Rogan?

  I don't know what his real name was, I just knew it was Miss Chicken.

• 2:41:07Speaker 02

  But he got, because he became, they, you know, who knows why he killed himself ultimately, but I guess was always thought was because he became the name associated with, well, you can go to New Faces now, but you're probably not walking out of there with a definite deal, you know, one, two guys are gonna go home with a deal, but it used to be, if you went to New Faces, like, you're coming back with a holding or a development or something.

• 2:41:25Joe Rogan?

  Well, you should say why, why him?

• 2:41:28Speaker 02

  What was, I don't know, I'm not sure.

• 2:41:30Joe Rogan?

  He got the biggest deal ever.

• 2:41:31Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. You got the million dollar deal, right?

• 2:41:33Joe Rogan?

  It was confusing, and not to disparage Deadman, but it was confusing. You would watch his comedy, you're like, what are they laughing at? I don't understand. And agents, a lot of agents, especially the young ones, these are young kids. They don't understand comedy, they don't know what the fuck is going on. They just hear noise like, he's amazing, he's so talented. And so they signed this guy to some huge fucking deal. It was like the biggest development deal they'd ever signed anybody to. And it all fell apart. Nothing happened, and then years later, he wound up killing himself. Cause his career just.

• 2:42:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:42:02Joe Rogan?

  And he hung himself in front of a school.

• 2:42:05Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 2:42:05Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:42:06Speaker 02

  That's like lore, like, what's the other one? Did you guys say you'd never heard of this before? I've always, Ollie Joe Prater?

• 2:42:11Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 2:42:11Speaker 02

  Who like they put, they put a tarp over him, like for the feature act?

• 2:42:16Speaker 03

  He used to drive Mitzi, they had that picture of him in the comedy store, back room, Ollie Joe, the big, and the limo and stuff, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think he died and they, they had to put like a tarp over him or something like that.

• 2:42:27Speaker 02

  No, no, I heard he was just like so like, he couldn't like make it to the stage.

• 2:42:30Speaker 04

  So he'd sit during his set?

• 2:42:32Speaker 02

  He'd sit during his set and he'd put a tarp over him.

• 2:42:34Joe Rogan?

  And then he would shit himself?

• 2:42:35Speaker 02

  When the feature act was done, they would just like, remove the tarp and he would start doing the show.

• 2:42:39Speaker 04

  You think there's like a fucking?

• 2:42:41Joe Rogan?

  Oh my god, that's crazy.

• 2:42:43Speaker 02

  You thought it was like a drum kit?

• 2:42:44Joe Rogan?

  That's crazy. He had to position himself on stage.

• 2:42:48Speaker 02

  Under a tarp.

• 2:42:48Joe Rogan?

  Give it up for Ralphie May, cause no matter how big he got, he walked, he made that walk. He fucking walked that walk up to that goddamn microphone.

• 2:42:55Speaker 03

  Oh god. Could you imagine Ralphie, we had to, Ralphie get in the back, we gotta position you.

• 2:43:00Joe Rogan?

  That's the end of Ralphie.

• 2:43:01Speaker 02

  Towards the end, I saw Ralphie, that was wild, like, uh, being taken around Bonnaroo on his own golf cart, like on the back, just dominating the space. And then his people would set him up with a chair, right in the pit of the music at Bonnaroo. I remember Kendrick Lamar was on, and it was thumping. And he'd go over and he's like a, he's in a chair, in front of a stack of marshals. He's just like.

• 2:43:23Joe Rogan?

  Oh, Ralphie.

• 2:43:24Speaker 02

  That's why Ari ended up, uh, that was the thing, our flights all got fucked up going home from Bonnaroo. And Ari's flight got cancelled, and we were scurrying to try to get new flights, and he goes, I think I'm gonna go stay with, uh, Ralphie for a few days. I don't know how much longer we're gonna have Ralphie around. I think he passed like months later.

• 2:43:39Joe Rogan?

  Wow.

• 2:43:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:43:40Speaker 02

  Kinda saw that coming. That's that Ari Sixth Sense.

• 2:43:43Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. The Ralphie one was a bummer, cause he had a bunch of operations too.

• 2:43:48Speaker 02

  He had a weight loss once, right?

• 2:43:49Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he had his stomach stapled a couple times and blew through it.

• 2:43:53Speaker 04

  Jesus.

• 2:43:53Speaker 03

  Tenacious.

• 2:43:54Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, he had whatever the operation was, he pulled, he ate through the operation. So he busted it out and he had to get redone.

• 2:44:01Speaker 02

  That's wild. Yeah, multiple times. Uh, one time I worked with him, he was carrying like a, I think he had a catheter that came out of his pants into a briefcase he was holding, and it's like. You just have a dick tube in right now while you're talking to me?

• 2:44:12Joe Rogan?

  Oh, boy.

• 2:44:13Speaker 02

  That's tough.

• 2:44:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:44:14Joe Rogan?

  Oh, boy.

• 2:44:15Speaker 02

  He was still doing his shows.

• 2:44:16Joe Rogan?

  Carrying around a briefcase full of piss.

• 2:44:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:44:18Joe Rogan?

  Killing, killing.

• 2:44:20Speaker 03

  Fucking killing, dude.

• 2:44:21Joe Rogan?

  Setting it down on the stool.

• 2:44:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:44:23Joe Rogan?

  And everyone's like, is there a cable that, like, a briefcase goes in his pants?

• 2:44:26Speaker 02

  That's my piss, y'all.

• 2:44:27Speaker 03

  Ralphie at Dublin's, remember Dublin's?

• 2:44:29Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:44:30Speaker 03

  Dude, he used to shake that fucking place up, dude, he would murder.

• 2:44:33Joe Rogan?

  Ralphie would murder, and he had a pace to him.

• 2:44:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:44:36Joe Rogan?

  Ralphie knew how to like, he had that pace, that bang, bang, bang, and with that southern accent.

• 2:44:40Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:44:41Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. He was a Houston guy. You know, there was a great crap, great crop of, uh, talent that came out of the Laugh Stop in Houston for a while. A bunch of good guys, like Matty Kirsch came out of there. There's a bunch of other funny guys that just never fucking made it, but they were good, man. They were like really funny comics.

• 2:44:59Speaker 02

  Boston had a ton of that, though.

• 2:45:00Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah, well, Boston was better than.

• 2:45:02Speaker 04

  Boston was like the, the scene.

• 2:45:04Speaker 02

  But notoriously, Boston's got guys that are like, no one can believe why Steve Sweeney was never like his own star in some way.

• 2:45:10Joe Rogan?

  Oh, yeah, no, for sure. But what, what came out of that Houston scene was Kinnison and Hicks. They both came out of that scene.

• 2:45:16Speaker 02

  The Laugh Stop.

• 2:45:16Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, that was a fucking incredible club, man.

• 2:45:19Speaker 02

  I worked for the lady's son took it over when she got sick or passed or whatever.

• 2:45:23Joe Rogan?

  Yeah, I worked for him. Yeah, yeah. He, and then he opened up another one that was outside, then they closed locations, moved to a different location, it wasn't as good. That was one when Ari went up with a Hitler mustache on. Ari had a beard.

• 2:45:37Speaker 04

  And he's like, I think I'm gonna grow a Hitler mustache.

• 2:45:40Joe Rogan?

  I'm like, well, you can.

• 2:45:41Speaker 04

  We did one time.

• 2:45:42Joe Rogan?

  A black guy could say the N-word, you could wear a Hitler mustache, go up there.

• 2:45:45Speaker 04

  One time on Legion of Skanks back in the day, we, uh, we did some, some sort of challenge, whatever it was, the punishment for Ari was though. Me, Dave Smith and Big J shaved all of our pubes, and we glued them to Ari to make a Hitler mustache. You could probably find the picture.

• 2:46:01Speaker 02

  You can't find the picture?

• 2:46:02Speaker 04

  You can find the video, it's, I don't, I don't know if I've laughed this hard in 30 years.

• 2:46:06Speaker 02

  It's the funniest.

• 2:46:07Speaker 03

  It looks so, his face is so, he hates it.

• 2:46:09Speaker 04

  I had spirit gum, we put spirit gum, and I took the pubes, and it was me, I put the pubes on his face, and when I moved my fingers away.

• 2:46:16Speaker 02

  It's the reveals.

• 2:46:17Speaker 04

  It's the funniest thing.

• 2:46:18Speaker 02

  World class.

• 2:46:19Speaker 04

  On the planet, on the planet, he's, oh, right here.

• 2:46:22Joe Rogan?

  See, this is a direct transition between the baby bird and this.

• 2:46:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:46:27Speaker 04

  Come on, Ari's trying to move his nose out of the way, this is a three man job.

• 2:46:31Speaker 03

  Who's that guy? Sexy Dave Smith?

• 2:46:33Speaker 04

  Young Dave.

• 2:46:34Joe Rogan?

  You are, dude.

• 2:46:35Speaker 03

  Young Dave.

• 2:46:36Joe Rogan?

  My line. Before Dave got political.

• 2:46:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:46:39Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god. This is so Hitler, man, a Hitler mustache. Holy shit. Louis, you, you take the sickest, perverted fucking happiness. Oh, my god. Oh, my god.

• 2:47:02Speaker 02

  Jam with Cameron.

• 2:47:04Speaker 04

  I've never been happier than in that moment, that was, that was my peak.

• 2:47:08Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god. Oh, my god, that's so funny.

• 2:47:11Speaker 02

  Good god.

• 2:47:12Joe Rogan?

  He's an animal.

• 2:47:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, I had to hold his asshole open once while he got his asshole bleached. Triply bleached. It's like, that was our punishment, I had to hold his asshole.

• 2:47:21Speaker 04

  We've held Ari's asshole open.

• 2:47:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:47:23Speaker 04

  I, one time I had a hemorrhoid, I was like, guys, I got a hemorrhoid, and then everyone was like, all right, show me, so I showed him on the show, and then, uh, Ari's like, that's not a hemorrhoid. That's not a hemorrhoid, I'll show, I'll show you a hemorrhoid. I was like, all right, let me see, so then, obviously, he bent over and I, I held his asshole open, dude, and it looked like the fucking Demogorgon.

• 2:47:41Speaker 04

  From Stranger Things.

• 2:47:43Speaker 02

  His asshole looks like what the Hellraiser boxer does too, like it's been, the chains have pulled it inside out.

• 2:47:48Joe Rogan?

  He used to have to take pieces of toilet paper and like stuff it between his.

• 2:47:53Speaker 02

  Ass napkins.

• 2:47:53Speaker 04

  He still does, yeah.

• 2:47:54Speaker 03

  He still does. Ass ponds, he called them.

• 2:47:57Joe Rogan?

  Crazy.

• 2:47:57Speaker 02

  He just put it on Louis's shoulder before.

• 2:47:59Joe Rogan?

  Do whatever you could to stop that from happening?

• 2:48:01Speaker 03

  He's had two surgeries, two anal correctors, like, yeah, like, like scrape out the shit surgeries, dude, scrape out the fucking.

• 2:48:08Joe Rogan?

  So what's the issue?

• 2:48:09Speaker 03

  I think they come back, I think he's violent.

• 2:48:12Speaker 02

  He's so feral that he has to get his anal glands expressed like a dog?

• 2:48:15Speaker 03

  I think he spends too much time, like, he's a king.

• 2:48:21Joe Rogan?

  That picture's amazing. Oh, my god, that picture's amazing. Well, you're wearing Saint James Parish shirt.

• 2:48:29Speaker 03

  That's my son's tree school.

• 2:48:31Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god.

• 2:48:32Speaker 02

  The Tricathon.

• 2:48:33Joe Rogan?

  Oh, my god, that's a terrible shirt to be wearing in that photo. Oh, my god. Bleaching Ari's asshole trailer.

• 2:48:41Speaker 02

  Ari maybe, maybe is leaving the biggest stamp in standup comedy, even without being an arena act or anything, just a big stamp. I mean, as far as affecting people's lives around him.

• 2:48:51Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 2:48:51Joe Rogan?

  He's an animal.

• 2:48:52Speaker 04

  So, he's living his life the way he wants to live it, which is like, so, it's like, it's the purest definition of success. He wakes up, opens his eyes, and he just does what he wants to do.

• 2:49:01Joe Rogan?

  Yeah.

• 2:49:01Speaker 04

  He'll take off for six, six months, a year off his podcast, like, everyone's like, you gotta get it out at the exact same time every week. Ari's like, well, I'm not gonna do it.

• 2:49:08Speaker 03

  I say he's like, he's the architect of his own happiness. He's created a world that he's like, this is what I wanna do, this is the best version of me, this is what makes me happy, and that's what I wanna do.

• 2:49:18Joe Rogan?

  And it really works.

• 2:49:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:49:19Joe Rogan?

  And the thing is, like, it really cemented him, other than this is not happening, the show that he did on Comedy Central, was his special Jew. That fucking special's amazing.

• 2:49:29Speaker 03

  Amazing. I was there taping, watching the tape, I was like, this is beautiful.

• 2:49:32Joe Rogan?

  And he worked so hard on it for so long, it was like the one thing that he really concentrated, because he had a very specific subject to write material on, and it was so rock solid, man. And then the whole thing happened with Kobe Bryant, he stopped doing it for a while, I'm like, bro, you gotta bring that back, you gotta release that as a special. And then he released that as a special, it's like, oh, this guy's.

• 2:49:49Speaker 02

  Huge numbers, yeah.

• 2:49:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:49:50Joe Rogan?

  Rock solid.

• 2:49:51Speaker 04

  He, he moved to New York and became like an elite level comedian, like, he, he just, yeah, like, Ari was always good, but then he came to New York, and like, his standup is so fucking, it's so good.

• 2:50:01Joe Rogan?

  Well, I think it also was part of that thing of doing what you wanna do, and he always wanted to be a New York City comedian. He like, even when he lived in LA, the idea of living in New York and doing comedy in New York.

• 2:50:11Speaker 02

  Bouncing around.

• 2:50:12Joe Rogan?

  That's what he wanted, and so that's what he did, and now, like, he's like, I wanna go to Asia for six months, no phone. He just abandons his phone, you can't get a hold of him, and then every now and then, I would get like a text message, I'm wondering what's happening with blah, blah, blah. I'm like, who the fuck is this? And he didn't even tell me who it was.

• 2:50:27Speaker 02

  Sorry, I'm in Uganda.

• 2:50:28Joe Rogan?

  And then like, three text messages later, oh, this is Ari, by the way. Like, oh, okay.

• 2:50:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:50:32Joe Rogan?

  Where are you?

• 2:50:33Speaker 02

  I'm in Sarajevo.

• 2:50:35Joe Rogan?

  Look at him.

• 2:50:36Speaker 04

  He missed the first Skankfest ever last year, and he's, he's coming back this year for.

• 2:50:39Joe Rogan?

  Where is he now?

• 2:50:40Speaker 03

  He went to Tatooine.

• 2:50:41Joe Rogan?

  Wherever they filmed Star Wars?

• 2:50:43Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, that's right.

• 2:50:44Joe Rogan?

  Yeah. Tunisia, what the fuck, man?

• 2:50:51Speaker 02

  Ari's, yes, I'm just having a beer at the Cantina on Space.

• 2:50:54Joe Rogan?

  Not only that, he'll do this shit by himself, like, he's an animal.

• 2:50:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's a, he's a, I'll get lost, I'll figure out where I'm sleeping guy, I'm like, I'm a plans guy.

• 2:51:03Joe Rogan?

  Well, I mean, he's not pretending.

• 2:51:06Speaker 03

  No.

• 2:51:07Joe Rogan?

  That's the thing, like, that is who he is. Fucking dope way to live your life.

• 2:51:11Speaker 03

  Beautiful person, dude.

• 2:51:12Speaker 04

  He's getting chubby. You see that picture? See that picture, he's getting chubby.

• 2:51:16Speaker 03

  I saw him a month ago in France, and he's like, I'm fat, just so you know, I'm like, don't worry, dude, I'm way fatter than you are, you don't have to worry about that.

• 2:51:22Joe Rogan?

  All right, fellas, let's bring this bitch home, uh, Skankfest.

• 2:51:26Speaker 04

  November 13th through 15th.

• 2:51:27Joe Rogan?

  The greatest comedy festival in the history of the known universe.

• 2:51:29Speaker 04

  Thank you. Yeah, where, uh, Single Day Passes, Saturday might be sold out at this point, but if you're, especially if you're in the area, come, get Single Day Passes, skankfest.com, uh, yeah, I mean.

• 2:51:39Speaker 02

  Come for the comedy, stay for Steve's dick.

• 2:51:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:51:42Speaker 04

  Steve, Steve, Steve judges a naked roast every year. We do a naked roast battle where the comedians are all naked, all the judges are naked, no phones allowed, it's, uh.

• 2:51:50Speaker 03

  And it's me, Jason Ellis, who's got a hog that you've never even fucking seen, and then like a porn star, and it's like, and me, it sucks, dude.

• 2:51:58Joe Rogan?

  Well, you got balls, bro.

• 2:51:59Speaker 03

  I, I mean, I.

• 2:52:00Speaker 02

  Big ones.

• 2:52:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's got decent balls.

• 2:52:02Speaker 03

  But I have to, it's been 10 years, so, it's like, you, once you see me naked, it's like, there's no more surprises, so, one year I put Ari's home phone number on my back, and I would just turn around and flex for the audience. I did Black Dick one year, so, we got a good one.

• 2:52:15Speaker 02

  Every year, I find a new part of you to love.

• 2:52:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:52:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, we got a lot of really cool stuff, it's the 10th year anniversary, so, and, uh, yeah, it's the last one we're doing in New Orleans for quite some time, so, it's gonna be a wild one.

• 2:52:25Joe Rogan?

  I always say that I think it's the best festival in comedy, it's the most wild and free, and it's like, just seems, it's in the, the spirit of just making people laugh.

• 2:52:34Speaker 04

  No industry, we don't give any industry passes out, everyone's there to just have a good time.

• 2:52:37Joe Rogan?

  And it's always sold out, it's always sold out, like, people love it, they look forward to it every year, you guys are killing it.

• 2:52:42Speaker 04

  Thank you, Joe.

• 2:52:42Joe Rogan?

  And congratulations, somebody the newest member.

• 2:52:44Speaker 03

  Thank you, man, appreciate that.

• 2:52:45Joe Rogan?

  All right, let's wrap it up.

• 2:52:47Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 2:52:47Joe Rogan?

  Bye, buddy.