MBMBaM 820: More Baubles!

In a way, this podcast is just part of a larger field study that we are doing with our bodies. It's an in-depth in-person study of really important subjects like getting free donuts, Weberoni, jokes about numbers, and how they filmed the very real Shrek documentary. Suggested talking points: A Shrek-Forward Household, Sometimes I Want to Lap From the Sink, Bathroom Severance, FCC Says No Narrowcasting, Unique Pizza Occasion, John GiveMeRent Asian Pacific Environmental Network: https://apen4ej.org/our-work/

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

• 0:20Speaker 01

  One, two, three, four. It's the start of something beautiful. A small acquaintance has blossomed, it's rapid into a precious friendship. I could have never seen what was coming for me. Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach. My life, it feels like. Life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. My life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. This is true, ah, it's better, it's better with you.

• 1:03Speaker 01

  My life, ah, it's better with you.

• 1:09Travis McElroy?

  Hello, everybody. Welcome to my brother, my brother and me, an advice show from the Madron era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What up, Trav Nation? It's me, your middlest brother Travis, big dog, woof, woof, vroom, vroom, the heater, award-winning, award-having, received it in the mail, update, only like six months later, got it, McElroy.

• 1:31Griffin McElroy?

  That is a beautiful trophy. Can you beauty blog that shit?

• 1:34Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, it's beautiful. It really shows fingerprints.

• 1:38Griffin McElroy?

  We got that iHeartRadio.

• 1:40Travis McElroy?

  Really shows fingerprints.

• 1:41Griffin McElroy?

  But yeah, Travis.

• 1:42Travis McElroy?

  That's why Travis can't touch it to send it to us because the fingerprinting would be too much of an issue in shipping.

• 1:46Griffin McElroy?

  Why that shit? You can't have that in your background looking like a grubby kid.

• 1:50Travis McElroy?

  I think it might be scuffed. No, that's a permanent scuff right there across the middle. That's how you know it's special. I just, I just want to say. To me, I wish we could win more awards because the idea of Travis's shot getting more and more filled with awards as ours, ours remains exactly static, I think is, is so appealing to me. They're just starting to applaud it for.

• 2:15Griffin McElroy?

  We should start sending Travis every award we get, whether it's related to the podcast or not. My number one dad ribbon that my son made.

• 2:25Travis McElroy?

  What was the last award you got? What was the last like actual award?

• 2:28Griffin McElroy?

  When I.

• 2:28Travis McElroy?

  I feel like I just got them all the time when I was a kid. I didn't appreciate it.

• 2:32Griffin McElroy?

  Placks meant nothing to me as a child. I got plaques monthly as a kid, right? I have a stack of plaques, boxes of plaques. If I got a plaque now as an adult, I would flip.

• 2:44Travis McElroy?

  Don't even start on trophies.

• 2:46Griffin McElroy?

  If I want.

• 2:47Travis McElroy?

  A trophy? That's all you would hear about for the next two and a half years.

• 2:52Griffin McElroy?

  Amanda sent us a medal once after a particularly rough episode of McElroy Family Clubhouse and I was so excited. A medal for me? Sarah and Amanda sent me, I got a hot dog statue one time when I beat a trial by Fieri. Uh, I've got, I, but then, but yeah, I guess you're right, Justin, to come back to the point you're making. We're not very competitively successful and I don't.

• 3:14Travis McElroy?

  I display the rap gift from the movie I was cut from.

• 3:18Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 3:18Travis McElroy?

  That's where I'm at on the, on the, on Holly weird spectrum.

• 3:23Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 3:23Travis McElroy?

  Um, but this is my brother, my brother and me, Trav. Uh, I wanted to say happy birthday, America and happy. And the gift that we all got that like Shrek didn't have time to prepare much, but for America's birthday, for the 250th, he had, he did have one gift and it is a new trailer that Griffin, I'm, I'm hearing you have not.

• 3:45Griffin McElroy?

  I've not watched. Yeah. I've been saving it sort of like, um, the, the guy in Lost. It's like the last thing I want to, it's like the meteor is coming. It's like, now I can watch the Shrek five trailer in my last moments with my family.

• 3:58Travis McElroy?

  So here's what I would like to try, cause I've never, I, I think this would be fun. You know how like there are audio description tracks available for like uh viewers that might might need that assistance? Or like if you're touring a museum describing a great work of art. Right.

• 4:16Griffin McElroy?

  Exactly.

• 4:17Travis McElroy?

  Griff, I was wondering, could you watch the trailer and then just like as you're watching, just describe the whole thing as you're watching it, just like stream of

• 4:25Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 4:26Travis McElroy?

  Stream of con- like just not even stream of conscious because you're watching a trailer. So just like not thinking about it, just like saying what you're seeing. You're, you are the audio description because like this is an audio medium and I can't think of how else to translate the trailer into this podcast and I feel like

• 4:42Griffin McElroy?

  Well, I mean, you could screen share it. We have the technology to screen.

• 4:45Travis McElroy?

  I don't want to watch it with you. I just want to listen to you watch it.

• 4:49Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, well.

• 4:50Travis McElroy?

  You know what I mean? Like I guess we could watch it at the same time as you do, but I'd much rather hear your sort of twist.

• 4:55Griffin McElroy?

  And I just kind of freestyle jazz it.

• 4:57Travis McElroy?

  Not freestyle, say what you see on the screen.

• 4:59Griffin McElroy?

  Say what I see on screen.

• 5:00Travis McElroy?

  Describe the whole trailer as you watch it.

• 5:01Griffin McElroy?

  Well, okay, here we go. Shrek music, book, book has an onion. I see Shrek, I see Donkey. They are cartoons and now a book is turned.

• 5:12Travis McElroy?

  I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Can we start over?

• 5:14Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, but I mean, you, I did.

• 5:16Travis McElroy?

  This is really good. No, this is all great. This is exactly what I wanted. The only thing I didn't get is like a really hard like, I need a sync point for people because they're gonna want to tie this together. And I think we might be able to release this on our channels, fair use.

• 5:30Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:31Travis McElroy?

  If we have that.

• 5:32Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 5:33Travis McElroy?

  It's transformative. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We cut the audio too.

• 5:35Griffin McElroy?

  I need to say more opinions then.

• 5:37Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a 121 trailer.

• 5:40Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 5:41Travis McElroy?

  Like what? And so like, we're just going to do three, two, one, play. And then we can like, I, so, so people can watch it.

• 5:48Griffin McElroy?

  Or they don't need to watch it because I'm going to describe everything that happens.

• 5:51Travis McElroy?

  There we go. Okay.

• 5:52Griffin McElroy?

  So I don't want them to watch it at the same time as me.

• 5:54Travis McElroy?

  But I would like you to, I'd like to watch it long.

• 5:57Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. You just said you didn't. You literally just said.

• 6:00Travis McElroy?

  Not altogether.

• 6:01Griffin McElroy?

  I changed my mind.

• 6:02Travis McElroy?

  We're gonna watch it together separately. Can't a lady change her mind?

• 6:07Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, so now are you gonna screen share it?

• 6:09Travis McElroy?

  No, you need to count it in. I'm just watching it myself, just like the listeners will be.

• 6:13Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, this is so obtuse.

• 6:15Travis McElroy?

  81 seconds of pleasure.

• 6:16Griffin McElroy?

  81 seconds of pleasure. Get ready to bust in. 3, 2, 1, play. That's that Shrek music I love. We're looking at an onion book and it opens and it's got a story about Shrek. I see Shrek and Donkey. I see Donkey. I see a castle and Donkey and Shrek. And a big fucking onion. They're do- Donkey's- There's- Looks so realistic. I see Donkey, he's do- He just said, "But Donkey, Donkey," Eddie Murphy's voice. Shrek and Donkey's there. Shrek's kids are old now. They're riding on a broom. Shrek looks great.

• 6:54Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, yeah, they just smacked Ginger Redman's ass. He's got two big gumdrops in his butt cheeks.

• 6:59Travis McElroy?

  Did they give Shrek wrinkles?

• 7:01Griffin McElroy?

  They gave him wrinkles because he's a great Olaf joke. That's good. Shrek's back. Donkey's back. He said hell, so they're gonna cuss in this Shrek movie? Fuck yeah, dude. Fuck yeah, dude. Fuck yeah, dude. Yes, they put Shrek in jail. Good luck with that.

• 7:23Griffin McElroy?

  No jail can hold Shrek and his big kids. I thought Shrek had three kids, but I only see two kids here. Did one of the kids die? In the last movie? Donkey's singing. It's so funny. They look so good. All Star! Now they're playing All Stars. Zendaya's in it! They got Zendaya in it!

• 7:44Travis McElroy?

  Well, they had to put Zendaya in it.

• 7:45Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 7:48Travis McElroy?

  Happy birthday, George Washington!

• 7:50Griffin McElroy?

  Happy birthday, George. You did it.

• 7:52Travis McElroy?

  A Shrek- excellent birthday to you, George.

• 7:54Griffin McElroy?

  A most Shrek- excellent birthday to America and George.

• 7:57Travis McElroy?

  They sure did add a lot of shadows and textures, didn't they? Deeper than ever before.

• 8:03Griffin McElroy?

  You mentioned that they- That the internet was upset with them. I guess the density of these turbo textures that they've put on Shrek's flesh. Travis, you pointed out the wrinkles in that trailer. That's the kind of definition you don't get with the smooth glossy Shrek of the 2000s era.

• 8:21Griffin McElroy?

  I like it. I like a remaster. I like a revamp. I don't love the ballooning cost of production in Hollywood. I'm worried about Shrek.

• 8:30Travis McElroy?

  Well, they actually shot this on location.

• 8:32Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, in the swamp, in his swamp.

• 8:36Travis McElroy?

  In the swamp and far, far away and.

• 8:39Griffin McElroy?

  I'm just worried about, I'm worried about the pressure that's gonna be on Shrek. Because this movie looks so expensive. Zendaya does not do shit for less than seven figures. And so I'm worried that the, the box office demands on Shrek will be too high and I want to know what I can do to, I want to be of service to Shrek.

• 9:01Travis McElroy?

  I'm worried about the family blogger aspect of it. Where, you know, they're making content with their kids now.

• 9:08Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 9:08Travis McElroy?

  And like that can cause a lot of issues, you know, in the family dynamics.

• 9:12Griffin McElroy?

  Can we be serious now? Because this thing, this role play you're doing that Shrek is real and that this is a filmed movie is great and all. I'm, I'm being vulnerable and expressing my emotions that I'm scared for Shrek and how much is going to be asked of him in this motion picture.

• 9:30Griffin McElroy?

  And I feel you don't, you don't share those feelings.

• 9:33Travis McElroy?

  Do you not want to see? I, I worry that sometimes that just because I didn't see the third and fourth Shrek movies, I don't want to see the fifth one. And that is, that is something that does concern me about the fifth movie is do I maybe not want to see it? Because I did not want to see the third or fourth films.

• 9:50Griffin McElroy?

  What's that mean for you? What's that mean for us? I'm so blurry right now. I keep moving around so much because I'm so excited about goddamn Shrek.

• 9:57Travis McElroy?

  Justin, I'm pretty confident that they probably baked that in to the fifth one, knowing that. Like they can look at the numbers, right? I can't imagine three and four did numbers beyond one and two.

• 10:11Griffin McElroy?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 10:13Travis McElroy?

  Right, but like Shrek Forever After came out in 2010. That's before any of us had kids, right? So this is the first Shrek that we're gonna have to reckon with as parents. Like we have to decide what this means for our family. So do we let Shrek in our house? Do we have a Shrek foreign household? You mean Shrek pure, right? Because Puss in Boots, where he fights the Grim Reaper who's a wolf is absolute cinema.

• 10:42Griffin McElroy?

  Absolutely the best shit ever. Can this be a sequel to that? Did they ever do that where they make a sequel to the mainline thing of the much, much, much, much, much, much, much better spinoff thing?

• 10:52Travis McElroy?

  That'd be incredible.

• 10:54Griffin McElroy?

  I mean, the pressure's on Mike too, because if this fucking tanks like three and four, what's that mean for Austin? What's that mean for, what's that mean for the love guru?

• 11:03Travis McElroy?

  Let's bring this up.

• 11:04Griffin McElroy?

  Yes, thank you, Justin.

• 11:05Travis McElroy?

  About this, yes. Uh, quick, this is from yesterday. This is breaking.

• 11:10Griffin McElroy?

  Wait.

• 11:11Travis McElroy?

  This is breaking. This is not, don't get too, don't get too hyphy, but like, do, do, do check it.

• 11:17Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 11:18Travis McElroy?

  There is a Verizon ad. Yes. Right? I've seen that many times.

• 11:22Griffin McElroy?

  I've seen the Verizon ad and maybe bust up so hard.

• 11:25Travis McElroy?

  Ad, but here is the Insta quote. Had a delightfully evil time getting this band back together. We'll have to do it again soon. We'll have to do it again soon, Michael.

• 11:38Griffin McElroy?

  Awesome.

• 11:39Travis McElroy?

  Will we?

• 11:40Griffin McElroy?

  Will we do it again soon?

• 11:41Travis McElroy?

  Cause, cause even if, cause I'll tell you what, guys, even if there's not currently a plan for AP4.

• 11:48Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 11:48Travis McElroy?

  Is in Hollywood lingo. That is very clearly Mike Myers. Someone has a plan for it. Just hiking up the skirt a little bit. And saying, hey, big boy.

• 11:59Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 12:00Travis McElroy?

  I think Austin may still be in here. There may be an AP4 script, me and, me and the gang.

• 12:08Griffin McElroy?

  I just like them going out.

• 12:10Travis McElroy?

  Check my gold ride.

• 12:12Griffin McElroy?

  I like them going out to fucking Outback Steakhouse after wrapping this Verizon commercial featuring Dr. Evil and Co. And being like, you know what, guys? That felt good.

• 12:23Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 12:24Griffin McElroy?

  That felt good. Stepping into that bald man again.

• 12:27Travis McElroy?

  I think we still got it.

• 12:28Griffin McElroy?

  I think we got it, gang.

• 12:30Travis McElroy?

  This is the show. This is the show. This is. It's throwing me off how much Rob Lowe. I can't tell if number two there is Rob Lowe, or the guy that played him originally, and then Rob Lowe played the younger version. God, yeah, Rob Lowe did age into a perfect, uh, oh, God, who was that? Robert Forster? Is that who it was? It's just perfect casting. It's really throwing me.

• 12:54Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, he's play, yeah, okay, so he's young number two, according to a quick Google.

• 12:59Travis McElroy?

  Robert Wagner, excuse me.

• 13:01Griffin McElroy?

  Robert Wagner.

• 13:01Travis McElroy?

  He looks like. He looks a lot like. Robert Wagner. He does. It's kind of uncanny. Wow, that was, that is uncanny.

• 13:09Griffin McElroy?

  And also, how fucked is it that Rob Lowe is playing young anyone?

• 13:14Travis McElroy?

  Rob Lowe is like a. No, it's not young. It was like, normal number two was Rob Lowe. Robert Wagner was cast as old number two in relation to that.

• 13:24Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 13:26Travis McElroy?

  Cause it was in the future.

• 13:27Griffin McElroy?

  You're right, yes.

• 13:28Travis McElroy?

  Let me start back at the beginning. Austin Powers was a British secret intelligence agent that was frozen back in the 1960s. Whoa. Because he was captured by Dr. Evil.

• 13:39Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 13:40Travis McElroy?

  I don't. I'm sorry, Justin. It was because Dr. Evil cryogenically froze himself and launched himself into space to return, and they knew they would need Austin Powers to fight him when they came back. So they cryogenically froze him so that he would be there when Dr. Evil returned. Mike, we're ready.

• 13:58Griffin McElroy?

  Mike, we're so ready. We're chomping at the bit. Please go see Shrek.

• 14:02Travis McElroy?

  Literally for us, we are chomping at the bit. Please, Mike.

• 14:05Griffin McElroy?

  The bit.

• 14:06Travis McElroy?

  The bit is so chewy.

• 14:08Griffin McElroy?

  We're extracting every ounce of mojo from this bit as we possibly can.

• 14:15Travis McElroy?

  Um, this is an advice show. Like, we, we take your questions, we turn them alchemy like into wisdom. Here's the first one.

• 14:20Griffin McElroy?

  Uh, you gotta get this big picture of middle-aged Seth Green off my monitor. Yeah, no matter how old that man gets, I just, I will always see him just eating, offering me some pizza, and watching some cool VHS tapes at his house and smoking weed.

• 14:35Travis McElroy?

  I would like to do that with Seth Green. I'll always think of him from Idle Hands, but that's just me.

• 14:39Griffin McElroy?

  Idle Hands is a great one.

• 14:41Travis McElroy?

  I'm Leatherface will always pop in my head when I see Seth Green.

• 14:45Griffin McElroy?

  What a pop.

• 14:46Travis McElroy?

  It's good. Oz?

• 14:48Griffin McElroy?

  Oz.

• 14:51Travis McElroy?

  Without a paddle?

• 14:54Griffin McElroy?

  Dax? The gang?

• 14:57Travis McElroy?

  The other guy in there is it Dane Cook? It's not Dane Cook. Sometimes I like to visit a local donut shop after work for a sweet treat. I typically buy a couple donuts or cronuts before walking home.

• 15:09Griffin McElroy?

  It's Matthew.

• 15:10Travis McElroy?

  Because it's all.

• 15:11Griffin McElroy?

  Sorry, it's Matthew Lillard and without a paddle, it's Matthew Lillard.

• 15:14Travis McElroy?

  Thank you.

• 15:14Griffin McElroy?

  Feel bad if we didn't.

• 15:15Travis McElroy?

  Friend of the show, Matthew Lillard. My next thought was Breckenmeyer and I knew I was in Breckenmeyer. Loved it. Loved hanging with Brecken. Cause it's almost time for this. I don't know why I said, I don't know if I do or not. If he called, I'd like definitely talk to Brecken.

• 15:28Griffin McElroy?

  The male loneliness epidemic has become severe enough that now I think all three of us, when we just hear of a dude we remember, we're like, I bet that's a Dane Cook. I bet that's a decent hang.

• 15:40Travis McElroy?

  No, I, I actually, there's no amount of loneliness I could feel that would make me think Dane Cook is a cool hang. Shit. Hey, let's not, Dane's out here catching strays. We don't, Dane's trying to rebuild. They're not a stray. That's unnecessary. Hey, let's, no, no, no. You know where I thought, I felt this very, very primally recently because I watched an episode of the, the Polygon series where they take celebrities to.

• 16:04Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:04Travis McElroy?

  Uh, game stores and they had Keenan and Kel going through video games.

• 16:09Griffin McElroy?

  Shelf quest. Shelf quest is very good. Plug for Shelf quest.

• 16:11Travis McElroy?

  Third heat to that hang. Please, guys, next time, please, all I need is just give me a day's notice. Like, hey, Justin, it's Keenan and or Kel.

• 16:22Griffin McElroy?

  We might get both.

• 16:23Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, might get both. I'd love it. I'd just like, come get a hang going with us. We're going to, you know, GameStop. I guess that's the best video game store in New York if I had to guess, but sometimes I like to visit a local donut shop after work for a sweet treat. I typically buy a couple donuts or cronuts before walking home because it's almost time for the shop to close. They usually add a free donut or two with my purchase. Once they even gave me three extra donuts and several cronut holes. This was great, but it hasn't happened since. Brothers, what can I do to maximize the number of free donuts I receive without coming across as too greedy? That's from Counting Donuts in Colorado. P S. I always tip and make sure to thank them for their generosity. They're a fantastic local shop and I enjoy supporting their business.

• 17:07Travis McElroy?

  Okay. Can I, I would like to clarify something.

• 17:10Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 17:10Travis McElroy?

  Just real quick. I. I'm not making a judgment, but if you say, I'm trying to maximize the number of free things I can get. That is greed by any traditional definition. Anyone's textbook. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, you are definitely trying to see how much of something you can get without any sort of plan for need or consumption. Right? So it's like, that's great. That is greed, right? That's kinda what it is. That's kinda what it is. And if you say, if you say, if you connect your thoughts, if you connect the thoughts of, I'm trying to get as many freebies as I can. And I tip really generously. Now you've just kind of obfuscated the, the prime kind of capitalist sort of invention.

• 17:53Travis McElroy?

  That we, that we're all kind of working on here, which is paying for goods and services. You just wanna go about it. Now you're saying, if, if this is like a corporate scene where it's like, I'm not charging you for donuts, but if you wanna tip me. Yes. Yes. Then I can dunk into my savings account and put it in there. You know what I'm saying? They say it's a fantastic local shop, and I don't know if anyone's ever said Dunkin' Donuts. Oh yeah, my local. My local chapter. Sorry, there's definitely a paragraph too, Travis. Like, that's like, I'm saying, totally cool. Love that setup. If you can turn, turn corporate money into tips for workers, that's a great setup. Don't do that to your local donut shop, obviously, but yeah.

• 18:34Travis McElroy?

  That is important here is I think that, like, if you went in to say, buy half a dozen. No amount of free donuts should change the amount you're planning to buy. The free donuts is an act, like, if you said, I'm gonna go in to get six, but I think I could get three free, so I'm only gonna buy three. No, no, no, no. It's tough, Travis, cuz it's like, it is for me. If I go in and buy two donuts and they give me three free donuts, there's this part of me, it's like, well, just take these back. You know what I mean? Like, you're obviously just chucking away donuts. This should be a, like, you just wanna see what's possible, right?

• 19:11Travis McElroy?

  This is not a scheme, right? You're just wanna see the limits of generosity, right? Because also, those day old donuts, sounds like they're gonna get rid of them at the end of the day anyways. Trash anyway. So here's what you're gonna do. Here's, you go to the shop, you say, hey, listen, you're about to close, I'm about to buy a couple of donuts, you love it, I love it. I want you to give me a box and I want you to fill it with all of the free donuts you can. And I'm gonna take it to a shelter for people experiencing homelessness in the nearby area, right? So then, what is this?

• 19:47Griffin McElroy?

  God, I hope that's the truth, though. It's true, though, right?

• 19:49Travis McElroy?

  It has to be true, obviously.

• 19:50Griffin McElroy?

  Or you're going to hell.

• 19:52Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, right. You will go to hell forever. If it's not real, I'll make it and send you there.

• 19:56Griffin McElroy?

  Does this create a scenario where if you ever go in wanting donuts, you have to be pretty abundantly explicitly clear, "I would like a half dozen donuts and these are me donuts for me only."

• 20:12Travis McElroy?

  For me only.

• 20:14Griffin McElroy?

  Don't connect it in your mind that you're gonna give me extra donuts for charity, because these are going inside of, inside of me. So...

• 20:22Travis McElroy?

  Well, what if they gave you two dozen to take? Ask for eight dozen donuts for charity. You can't ask for a number. That's the problem. If you ask for a number for charity, then that's a donation they're making. I would need you to say, "Scour the kitchen. Open the fridge. Find the donuts that you have." Because I want to know how many free ones I can get off of you. This is, I'm just testing the limits. Yeah, you don't want to put a thumb on the scale. I get it. Yeah, exactly. Because what if they had nine dozen? Fuck, man, I didn't even think about that. I didn't even think about nine being bigger than eight. That's more.

• 20:58Griffin McElroy?

  That's more, yeah.

• 20:59Travis McElroy?

  Fuck. Well, that's the most there could be, though, right? You know why people forget about that so much is because seven, eight, nine. Ah, yeah, I didn't even think about that. That's a great point. This is why I keep you around.

• 21:10Griffin McElroy?

  You feel good about that? Do you feel, how do you feel about that joke? And this is not a leading question. This is just, it's not the kind of-

• 21:16Travis McElroy?

  It's only you describing it as a joke that soured it. If it was more just like a thing that was said.

• 21:20Griffin McElroy?

  A witticism.

• 21:22Travis McElroy?

  Not even that, just like a sound, sound, sound, just a sound.

• 21:28Griffin McElroy?

  That moved to the next sound that you made.

• 21:29Travis McElroy?

  It's just a sound. How do you feel about that series of sounds you made with your mouth? I stand behind it. Yes, you should.

• 21:37Griffin McElroy?

  I think it would be good practice for everyone to start carrying around little treasures that then, next time you go to the donut shop and buy some donuts and you get the number of donuts that you paid for, you hand them a couple like really cool marbles or rocks or a pen.

• 21:52Travis McElroy?

  Trinkets.

• 21:52Griffin McElroy?

  Trinkets, yes.

• 21:53Travis McElroy?

  It's a powerful. So peb- pebbling.

• 21:56Griffin McElroy?

  Now I'm going above and beyond. Now I'm, now I'm showing you my gratitude through the, through gifts.

• 22:01Travis McElroy?

  It's, it's a macro geocache is what it is.

• 22:04Griffin McElroy?

  Mm hmm. Comes to you. Normalize treasure. Everyone should have a little pouch of treasure that they can go around and give away to people who've gone above and beyond.

• 22:15Travis McElroy?

  Now, are we reintroducing a barter system to the economy?

• 22:19Griffin McElroy?

  No, because there's no goods and services being exchanged. This is you saying. No, you don't understand. There's a price on the menu for the eight donuts and you pay it and you get eight donuts, but you really liked the hang, so you give them a couple cool looking marbles into like a rock you found.

• 22:36Travis McElroy?

  It's just like, I do not need a patch of tre- a pouch of treasure hanging around my neck. I don't need to be more of a target than I already am. I'm already running around with a bunch of like video games in my pockets and the keys in my big beautiful Buick. I love like, I'm like the little goblin from Golden, yeah, like the little goblin from Golden Axe. It's like, hit me until all my potions fall out. You know what I mean? I don't need, I don't need baubles in there. Get his loot! Get his loot already, man.

• 23:05Griffin McElroy?

  If everyone has baubles though, then it's not an issue.

• 23:10Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 23:10Griffin McElroy?

  Normalize, normalize baubles. I can't believe you said, I don't want a little sack of treasure. I wouldn't wear it around my neck. It would be at my hip. How bad, how badass would it be to have a little sack with you all the time?

• 23:21Travis McElroy?

  And then when you travel, you can have one that straps your chest under your clothes. You must have, but I feel like you must have a saber or a rapier. If you're, if you're gonna travel with a pouch of treasure, you must, you must have armaments by your side. And if you have a saber or a rapier, then you must have a plumed hat. Yeah, you're right. And of course, you're lent in the hole in your off hand in case you must duel in the dusk. Yeah, it only makes sense.

• 23:49Griffin McElroy?

  If I saw someone on the street with a big pouch of jangly jingly treasure, my mind would tell me that person's very robable. If they also had a saber or a rapier, I would say less robable. But then if you put a plumed hat on that, you're back to being pretty robable. That does take you definitely way back more in the more robable.

• 24:10Travis McElroy?

  I would say at that point, it's a coin toss of whether you're a hundred percent robable or zero percent robable because you're the type of person carrying a saber and a rapier with a plumed hat. And maybe you can back that up. There's no way of knowing.

• 24:25Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 24:26Travis McElroy?

  If you're willing to take that shot or not, but it's a hundred percent or it's zero percent.

• 24:30Griffin McElroy?

  Bring back treasure.

• 24:31Travis McElroy?

  Just bring back treasure. More baubles.

• 24:33Griffin McElroy?

  More baubles, please.

• 24:35Travis McElroy?

  Um, the, uh, the, do you know how, you know, the Scarlet Pimpernel? I was just thinking about that recently. Scarlet Pimpernel, we're talking about sabers and stuff like that. Yeah. Do you know what he did? Oh, we watched that musical and I don't think I really clocked it as a kid, but there, when, when aristocrats, when fancy people were about to get beheaded, uh, by the rebel, like by the common folk, he rescued them from getting beheaded. That's not a very cool superhero. I didn't think that was it.

• 25:00Griffin McElroy?

  Are you sure about that, Jayman?

• 25:03Travis McElroy?

  I thought he was rescuing the English from the French. Nah, he was rescuing French aristocrats from being beheaded at the guillotine, guillotine, pardon me. Um, and that's like the first superhero, man. Yeah. That sucks. Yeah, you're right. What a dumb, what a dumb hero. So you're telling me the cop that sang in an angry voice about wanting to kill everybody and the Pimpernel stopped him? Was the good guy? He was the good guy. Cause he wanted to get the, he wanted to behead the rich. So like, Okay. You know what I'm saying? And the Scarlet Pimpernel, I was like, don't worry, Philippe, I'll save you. And he's like, goes and gets all his rich friends. And it's like, yeah, all my rich buddies, don't worry about it.

• 25:47Travis McElroy?

  I'll come get you out and then we'll go to what? Someplace else where you won't get beheaded? Fuck you. What a stupid, what a stupid thing to do. A whole book and a musical and everything about.

• 25:59Travis McElroy?

  I went to pick up an AC from Facebook Marketplace today and I had to take the part in two trips. So I asked the seller if it'd be all right for me to come back in a minute for the rest of the parts as I had parked around the corner. They said, of course, I'll just be jumping into a meeting. I said, I'd do my best to be quiet then. When I came back two minutes later, they were in media res of a

• 26:20Travis McElroy?

  of a psych appointment. The psychiatrist discussing specifics of their diagnosis. So I quickly grabbed the rest of the parts and I tried to get out as quickly as possible, but on the way out, I climbed the parts against absolutely every single obstacle in my path. I tried my best, but I'm fairly certain there was a better. There's so many better. There's so many better. So much better. We don't do a lot of them that are, we don't do a lot of questions anymore that are just like, hey, this thing happened to me, but damn it. Yeah, this is a cool one. I have to imagine that you overheard like the psychiatrist. That's from bungled birches in Ballerato.

• 26:56Travis McElroy?

  That you overheard the psychiatrist say something like, Derek, is there someone in your home picking up AC parts during your psychiatry appointment? This is what I was talking about. This is exactly your problem. The problem, Derek. Or, or even worse, hold on, there's somebody picking up my AC unit. Sure, Derek. I'm sure there is. I'm not a very good psychiatrist.

• 27:20Travis McElroy?

  Have you guys done any Facebook Marketplace purchasing? Have you guys dipped into this world at all? I have recently purchased a couple of old TVs for the Facebook Marketplace and it is always a heck of an experience. Cause why has someone held on to it for so long? And now they're getting rid of it. There's never a good story. It's never a happy story, you know? And you're always kind of taking, you get to see a lot of interesting parts of Huntington. I never, I never have, have had a reason to venture to otherwise, but have you guys, have you guys done any marketplace? I did this in LA because when we went, Teresa and I lived there for two years. When we moved there, we had like no furniture, you know, we had to get everything while we were there. And it amazed

• 28:01Travis McElroy?

  me, like, I would say of like the six items we bought from six different people, five out of those, the vibe was like, I don't know, man, this, do you want it? I don't know. It was like it, the end table had just appeared in their home one day. And then they were like, I guess I'll sell it. And I, it was like, everybody was befuddled. I think if you, I've sold a couple of things this way too. I think if you sell something like this, I think there's an impulse to free it of context. You know what I mean? So it's like, no, I don't, this, I don't want you to know how this fit into my life. It's no longer here. Okay. This is a separate entity. It's kind of floating out between the two of us.

• 28:43Griffin McElroy?

  You prefer a for sale baby shoes.

• 28:48Griffin McElroy?

  And then that's it. No more context required. Just like, oh, great. Okay. Needed those.

• 28:52Travis McElroy?

  Get them or don't. One time I, I bought, uh, from Facebook Marketplace, a big old, uh, air compressor, like four foot tall, huge. And like, I went to this dude's house and he was like a 60, 65 year old man. And he was like showing me all of like the tools that went and asking me how I was getting it. And I told him I was like getting into a blacksmith thing and like polishing up tools and stuff. And he cut the price in half.

• 29:17Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, man.

• 29:18Travis McElroy?

  Because he was like, you seem like a good dude who knows his tools and everything. I want you to have it and it's, I'm going to give you all this stuff with it and everything. And I literally cried a little bit.

• 29:28Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, man.

• 29:29Travis McElroy?

  He put a hand on my shoulder and he was like, make good stuff with it.

• 29:32Griffin McElroy?

  Did he raise the price back up when you cried a little bit?

• 29:34Travis McElroy?

  He doubled it.

• 29:35Griffin McElroy?

  I didn't know you were a wimp.

• 29:37Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 29:37Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 29:38Travis McElroy?

  And he kicked me in the shin a couple of times. Threw sand in my eyes.

• 29:43Griffin McElroy?

  What kind of anvil jockey would shed tears over a, over a price like this?

• 29:48Travis McElroy?

  That's a cool way to do it. And then he, he called his psychiatrist for me and said, hey, this wimp's crying. And the psychiatrist was a huge muscly did, and he beat me up through the phone. Wow.

• 30:00Griffin McElroy?

  Hey, I know this isn't helpful. I know this is some real Monday morning quarterbacking, but if I could start here, I would have not clanged the parts against absolutely every obstacle in your path. Like, if you're asking for a way to do it better, like before, before we even talk, like, I don't think your strategy was fundamentally flawed. Your strategy was decent, which is get the thing and get out so that you can remove yourself from this fairly vulnerable situation. Um, but the execution, I think, did suffer because you clanged it on every obstacle in your path.

• 30:29Travis McElroy?

  But the person at fault here is the seller who said, yeah, no problem. I'll just be jumping into a meeting. You at that point, no amount, no amount of clanging you've done makes it your fault that it's happening during a psychiatric appointment.

• 30:45Griffin McElroy?

  You could have had a bigger car. Okay.

• 30:49Travis McElroy?

  If you had a bigger car, they probably thought it's just gonna be a one dripper. It doesn't matter because I got my, my therapy afterwards. Um, and it's all about procrastination. It's my therapy, I'm a therapy for procrastination. So like if I, if I delay either of these things, it's gonna be bad. I don't want to, this is, this may be a little bit too highfalutin, but bear with me a second.

• 31:12Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, sure.

• 31:13Travis McElroy?

  Right? So we, there's two kinds of states of being, there, there's two different states, right? Being, there's doing, right? You can be without doing anything, right? You can just be, that's meditation. So that meditation, you're trying to get to the essence of just like being without doing anything, right? So conversely, by my reasoning, there must be an opposite end of the spectrum. Where you can do this and not have to be there. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, retail work. You, so yes, yeah, like you can maybe tap into that, that, that's a good, and but like just, but that even retail work, you have to do some being, right?

• 31:57Travis McElroy?

  Because people might talk to you, you might get a phone call or something. I'm saying. Not if you work in the warehouse, baby. I was doing all over the place and then. Yeah, if you, but for this, you need to reach a state of absolute doing. Yeah. Just 100% non-presence. It's like you, you should have trouble navigating the room because of your lack of being. And you should slip out of people's minds like the tardis.

• 32:23Griffin McElroy?

  Devil's advocate, is it possible they reached this fugue state you're describing? And maybe that's why they banged into every obstacle.

• 32:30Travis McElroy?

  No, because they remember it. They remember it so they were there for it, right? If you, if you were 100% doing, you would not have the recall of this terrible time.

• 32:44Griffin McElroy?

  You would be in the car and then it would be slightly later and you would still be in the car with the air conditioner back there. And everything else is just gone.

• 32:52Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, it was just like, yes, it's severance. It's like full intentional self-severance. Yeah.

• 32:58Griffin McElroy?

  I wish I had severance. I wish I had severance, but just for the bathroom. How dope would that be if you walked in there and there was just one guy? And he was Dookie Man and all you ever knew was that?

• 33:10Travis McElroy?

  I mean, his life is weird.

• 33:12Griffin McElroy?

  His life is bad, but.

• 33:15Griffin McElroy?

  My life is shorter.

• 33:19Griffin McElroy?

  We would put Uncle, we would stuff it with Uncle John's bathroom readers every day. Like he would not want for activity, but you would just put him in, you would just walk through the door and then you'd immediately walk out the door.

• 33:31Travis McElroy?

  Why do I sometimes want to drink from the sink? And sometimes I don't want to drink from the sink. I don't understand. Sometimes I want to lap from the sink and sometimes I don't.

• 33:40Griffin McElroy?

  He can shower too, like he can do, like he can have a shower.

• 33:44Travis McElroy?

  No, I want a shower.

• 33:46Griffin McElroy?

  I like a shower.

• 33:46Travis McElroy?

  Can he and I do that together?

• 33:48Griffin McElroy?

  I'll have a half bath for just showers, which is not typically the half that gets sectioned up.

• 33:56Travis McElroy?

  I don't know. You've watched this show, but I'm pretty sure if you end up with somebody doing your severance bathrooms, they will find a way to break out and come kill you. Like a hundred percent. I don't know how though it's gonna work out.

• 34:09Griffin McElroy?

  They would not understand our world. They would not, all they know is bathrooms. So like they reach a hallway and they're like, where's the toilet? And like they.

• 34:17Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, well, I shit on this couch and it didn't go anywhere. I sat down, I did what I do, but it's like trapped here.

• 34:25Griffin McElroy?

  Mark, I meant to ask you, every time you go in the bathroom, I just hear you screaming, let me out, let me out, I want to be, I want to be, I want to see the world. Why is there no windows? Like, and I don't understand you're, you're, you take a long time in there too, man.

• 34:40Travis McElroy?

  Excuse me, sir, how do I make more soil?

• 34:45Travis McElroy?

  Excuse me. I uh seem to unable to make soil as normal. Um, how does one make soil?

• 34:53Griffin McElroy?

  Oh my God, can you imagine if your bathroom severance, your bathroom in the Audi like ran out of toilet paper? Like how they let you know.

• 35:02Travis McElroy?

  They have no access.

• 35:03Griffin McElroy?

  What would they do? You walk into the bathroom and then you immediately walk back out with your pants around your ankles in a sort of roadie run.

• 35:13Griffin McElroy?

  What happened? What did you do? What did you do in there?

• 35:17Travis McElroy?

  Um, let's take a break and we'll come right back up to this.

• 35:30Travis McElroy?

  Guys, I listen, I bought a tree for fast growing trees. You know, I love these two apple trees I bought. They're too fast growing. It's overtaking my home.

• 35:39Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, I don't know that they want a Jumanji danger.

• 35:45Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, like a arborist kaiju. They're growing very well, the two apple trees. I mean, while I'll admit, there is a bit of hyperbole. They are not destroying my home. They're growing well. They have leaves, some of the hallmarks of good tree growth. You can see I'm not an arborist myself. That's why I'm lucky to have fast growing trees to depend on. Cause the cool thing about them is if you buy a tree from them, first off, you tell where you live. They'll tell you about your growing zones would work well there. And then if you're having problems with your plant, or even if you're not, even if you just need a little help, you can call them and you can talk to a plant expert. Like really, it's an alive and thrive guarantee. That's an expert in plants, by the way, not a plant that is an expert. That would be so cool too.

• 36:29Griffin McElroy?

  They got one of them, they got one of them dancing cactuses there. That when you call and ask for help with your trees, he like wiggles around.

• 36:37Travis McElroy?

  Oh, like from Final Fantasy?

• 36:39Griffin McElroy?

  He's really, he's, he's really cool. I like him a lot. His name's Trevor.

• 36:44Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, Trevor's cool, man. DJs. Now's the perfect time to plant. They have great deals on spring planting essentials up to half off on select plants. And listeners to our show get 20% off their first purchase when using code MYBROTHER at checkout. That's why some other shows get charged extra. They get charged double. That's fastgrowingtrees.com code MYBROTHER. The offer is valid for a limited time. Terms and conditions may apply. Go buy a tree.

• 37:13Griffin McElroy?

  Go buy a tree. It won't, it definitely won't grow so fast that it absorbs your house like a Tetsuo.

• 37:20Travis McElroy?

  Take a hike, buy a tree.

• 37:22Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, wow, yeah.

• 37:24Travis McElroy?

  Hey, I've got a kitty in my home who's very precious and special to me. Her name is Jasmine. She is simultaneously very sneaky and very clumsy.

• 37:34Griffin McElroy?

  That's great. Oh, that's the best when kitty cats mix it up.

• 37:37Travis McElroy?

  She believes she is incredibly sneaky and.

• 37:41Travis McElroy?

  Is very obvious and

• 37:42Griffin McElroy?

  Howard, how are the beans?

• 37:45Travis McElroy?

  The beans are excellent. And she has a little heart, like black mark on her nose that looks like a heart. It's amazing. She's very special and precious to me. And I want to give her the best, the best of everything. And I want to serve it on those like crystal bowls like they used to show in commercials. With the little like mint leaf on it, you know what I mean?

• 38:05Griffin McElroy?

  Yes. I don't think a cat wants the mint leaf there, but that's mostly for the human doing it.

• 38:11Travis McElroy?

  Well, she chews on the plants in my window, so I've had to be very careful about which plants I put there and which ones I lock safely in my office.

• 38:18Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 38:18Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 38:20Griffin McElroy?

  How can cats be so picky, special precious princesses when it comes to eating really good food sometimes? But then also sometimes they'll eat the flower that they see that has poison in it.

• 38:32Travis McElroy?

  I believe, listen, not this is out of the ad, but I believe that my cat is punishing those plants for touching her. While she's trying to stalk birds in the window.

• 38:41Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 38:42Travis McElroy?

  And like they brush up against her so she chews on them.

• 38:44Griffin McElroy?

  It's a line of sight, a line of sight issue perhaps.

• 38:47Travis McElroy?

  Yes. So I want to give my cat the best. So my cat deserves Smalls cat food. Smalls fresh cat food is protein packed recipes made with preservative free, 100% human grade ingredients you'll find in your fridge. That's like they're good enough for human, not like we've reached the level of this was human meat. That's how good this is. No, it's for humans. There's no human meat in Smalls. That's a Travis McRoy guarantee. And it's delivered right to your door. Cats use protein as their main energy source. More protein means more fuel and a healthier cat. So they can run around like dinguses and try to attack your ankles like sneaky predators. More.

• 39:27Griffin McElroy?

  More.

• 39:28Travis McElroy?

  After switching to Smalls, 88% of cat owners report overall health improvements. Your cat's health and longevity starts with what they eat. For a limited time, because you're my brother, my brother and me listening, get 60% off your first order. Plus free shipping and free treats for life. When you head to Smalls.com slash my brother. That's 60% of your first order. Plus free shipping and free treats for life. When you head to Smalls.com slash my brother. Isn't it a weird coincidence that both ads have special deals for our listeners?

• 40:02Travis McElroy?

  Right? Like, what a odd quote that it's like because you listen to our show. Yeah, I know. You get a deal. It's a great day. It's a great day to be a Mabim Bam fan. It's wild, man. People just giving you stuff at this point. Yeah, it's like a goodie bag. You roll up as a VIP. No problem. It's just so wild that it happened in both as. Yeah, for sure.

• 40:26Speaker 04

  Pokemon, Insecure, Love Island, Paramore. What do all these things have in common? Black people love them. That's where Black People Love Paramore comes in. We're a pop culture podcast taking a funny look at the common and sometimes very uncommon things black people love. From asking why so many black kids were secretly emo to debating whether Beyonce is underrated. Hint: she is. We're getting into all the things that make us feel a little bit more seen. Get it? And yes, everybody's invited. No matter your niche, we have room for you. Listen to Black People Love Paramore on MaximumFun.org and wherever you get your podcasts.

• 41:09Speaker 05

  Hello?

• 41:10Speaker 06

  Hello, I'm calling on behalf of the Beef and Dairy Network Podcast.

• 41:13Speaker 05

  No, I'm sorry. No sales calls. Goodbye.

• 41:15Speaker 06

  It's a multi-award winning podcast featuring guests such as Ted Danson, Nick Offerman, Josie Long.

• 41:20Speaker 05

  I don't know what a Josie Long is. And anyway, I'm about to take my mother into town to see Phantom of the Opera at last. You are wasting my time and even worse, my mother's time. She only has so much time left. She's 98 years old. She's only expected to live for another 20 or 30 years. Mother, get your shoes on. Yes, the orthopedic ones. I don't want that to carry you home again, do I?

• 41:38Speaker 06

  Right. Well, if you were looking for a podcast.

• 41:40Speaker 05

  Mother, you're not wearing that, are you? It's very revealing, mother. This is musical theatre, not a Parisian bordello.

• 41:46Speaker 06

  Simply go to MaximumFun.org.

• 41:48Speaker 05

  I'm reaching for my Samsung Galaxy 4 as we speak. Mother! Mother, not that hat!

• 42:00Travis McElroy?

  I wanna munch.

• 42:01Griffin McElroy?

  Jesus.

• 42:04Travis McElroy?

  I want to munch squad.

• 42:07Griffin McElroy?

  Squad, please turn your shit down.

• 42:13Travis McElroy?

  Okay, sorry pal. Maybe ASMR it.

• 42:16Griffin McElroy?

  No, don't do that either. Meet me in the middle and tell me about the food stuffs.

• 42:20Travis McElroy?

  Jimmy Johns has got a new meal for you. No, my old, my old stomping grounds. They teamed, they teamed up. They teed, this is the partnership. Uh, I'd say it's a partnership that everybody's been waiting for. I'm just, I mean, a picture's worth a thousand words. Isn't that what they say? Are they partnering with me? Cause I used to work there?

• 42:39Griffin McElroy?

  That was a type of partnership.

• 42:41Travis McElroy?

  That was a type of partnership. That's true. More.

• 42:43Griffin McElroy?

  You were a stakeholder.

• 42:45Travis McElroy?

  Oh.

• 42:48Travis McElroy?

  It's, it's Fetty Wap and he's got the Fetty Rop.

• 42:52Griffin McElroy?

  That's, that's a.

• 42:56Griffin McElroy?

  That's wild business, guys.

• 43:00Griffin McElroy?

  That's crazy work, Jimmy Johns.

• 43:03Travis McElroy?

  Because it's new, the seven, number seventeen thirty-eight Fetty. Cap, I have to spell capital W, open parenthetical, lowercase R, closed parenthetical, A P meal. The Fetty. The parentheses there are doing so much work and all of it's mysterious. Yeah.

• 43:23Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. Okay. Yeah. It is necessary, the parentheses, because otherwise you would just say Fetty rap meal.

• 43:30Travis McElroy?

  But the Fetty, the Fetty does enough to distinguish what they're going for.

• 43:36Griffin McElroy?

  Well, and the big picture of Fetty Wap that they do have of him holding what is clearly extremely photoshopped in, uh, chicken, chicken bacon Caesar wrap.

• 43:45Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, he's holding it like it's a beaker that he's doing some sort of science in.

• 43:49Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 43:50Travis McElroy?

  But the parentheses seem to indicate to me silent R.

• 43:54Griffin McElroy?

  Hmm. Oh, maybe it is. Maybe. Okay. Yeah. That's, that's also kind of possible. Um, this is so confusing.

• 44:03Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. So, uh, let's talk about it. Hey, what's up? Hello? Jimmy Johns is TV up with Fetty Wap to bring the energy of summer straight to the menu with the number seventeen thirty-eight Fetty. Capital W, open parenthetical, lowercase R, closed parenthetical, A P meal. Featuring the brand new Buffalo Ranch Chicken Wrap and the Buffalo flavored. Jimmy chips. But baby. I don't know. I don't know.

• 44:31Griffin McElroy?

  I don't know why you needed to do that there, but it felt right to me for you to hit that there. Yeah.

• 44:37Travis McElroy?

  Answering fans longstanding calls for more Fetty. Jimmy John's is officially delivering the rap of the summer. That's W R A P. Of the summer brought to you by the rapper. R A P P E R of the summer Fetty Wap. Also stars in a digital spot packed with unmistakable. Rap Queen energy. Celebrating a flavor drop that hits just as hard as his iconic anthem. Let's back up. If you do not know about Fetty Wap's. Big song Trap Queen.

• 45:14Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 45:14Travis McElroy?

  And some of this may be very confusing to you.

• 45:17Griffin McElroy?

  From 11 whole ass years ago.

• 45:21Travis McElroy?

  Especially like.

• 45:22Griffin McElroy?

  Whole years ago.

• 45:23Travis McElroy?

  I think that.

• 45:26Travis McElroy?

  It being. Pride month. Talking about rap queen.

• 45:31Griffin McElroy?

  For speaking about.

• 45:32Travis McElroy?

  Yes. Rap Queen with a picture of Fetty Wap. Might lead to a reader who is not aware of Trap Queen. Making assumptions about what's going on. In Fetty Wap's life. We're already linguistically. Several layers deep. Yeah. Because what we're doing here is talking about Fetty Wap. Who is a rapper. Selling.

• 45:58Travis McElroy?

  W R A P. You know what I mean? We're already like so deep, but now we're talking about. Rap Queen energy where rap is replacing Trap Queen. Okay. Fucking calm down.

• 46:10Griffin McElroy?

  Okay. Hit me with the Jimmy John's new, the 1738 Fetty parentheses T W parentheses R A P Queen. The Fetty to a rap queen. Now we're, now we've gotten so specific.

• 46:25Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Uh Fetty Wap also stars in a digital spot packed with unmistakable rap energy. Yes, it's a digital spot.

• 46:33Griffin McElroy?

  Not on celluloid.

• 46:36Travis McElroy?

  No, it's not celluloid. Let's uh.

• 46:37Griffin McElroy?

  It's a flip book.

• 46:39Travis McElroy?

  This is how the real pros do it. I've never watched this ad, so let's just watch it together. Okay?

• 46:44Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, react.

• 46:45Travis McElroy?

  And then, and then we'll, then we'll build off.

• 46:47Griffin McElroy?

  A lot of live reacts to, yeah.

• 46:50Travis McElroy?

  Obviously, don't talk.

• 46:52Speaker 05

  See you later, man. I'm about to grab some food, man. Hey, what up?

• 46:55Speaker 01

  I'm like, hey, what's up? Hello? Welcome to Jimmy John's. What can I get for you?

• 47:01Speaker 05

  I'll do the 1738 meal.

• 47:03Speaker 01

  Duh. One buffalo ranch chicken wrap, buffalo Jimmy chips, and a drink. Wait, does this make me your wrap queen?

• 47:10Travis McElroy?

  Oh, my God.

• 47:12Speaker 05

  Uh, okay.

• 47:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, baby.

• 47:16Speaker 05

  Whoa.

• 47:17Speaker 01

  Here's your Fetty wrap meal.

• 47:18Speaker 05

  Fetty what?

• 47:19Speaker 01

  Right. It's just, that's a wrap.

• 47:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 47:22Speaker 01

  And you got that soda.

• 47:24Speaker 05

  Not the lyrics, but I appreciate it, though. Like, yeah, I see what you're doing there.

• 47:28Speaker 01

  Anytime, Mr. Wap.

• 47:30Speaker 05

  Xavier's fine.

• 47:30Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 47:31Speaker 05

  That's cool. Yeah, thank you.

• 47:35Speaker 05

  I'm gonna take this wrap to my Ferrari.

• 47:36Speaker 01

  Ayy.

• 47:38Speaker 05

  Two icons, one wrap. The 1738 Fetty wrap meal, available now.

• 47:43Travis McElroy?

  So, okay, interesting things here. Um.

• 47:48Griffin McElroy?

  There's a lot. I mean, there's a ton of interest. Can I just start by saying I'm not that familiar with Fetty Wap's work? But the vibe on, the vibe on that gentleman is pretty choice, I'll say.

• 47:58Travis McElroy?

  It's a good charming vibe. I really like Fetty Wap's energy. I'm now very much celebrating him getting this promotion. I really, really, really think Jimmy John's is bending over backwards to make it make sense. And I feel like doing an entire ad about how sweaty this whole thing is.

• 48:14Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 48:15Travis McElroy?

  And, and choosing to make, um, what, what am I called? The most uncomfortable interaction with a customer. Like, don't you want to come into our store? We make our customers wildly uncomfortable in our interactions.

• 48:29Griffin McElroy?

  They kind of gotta hang a lantern on it, right? It's bad for my... I think hanging as large a lantern as they have is insulting to my intelligence. But this whole thing had an enormous hook that was labeled four lantern, four big lanterns. Like, it, there was a space for it. Um, it's hard to blame them for capitalizing on that.

• 48:51Travis McElroy?

  At the center of it all.

• 48:54Travis McElroy?

  Is the Buffalo Ranch Chicken Wrap made with all natural chicken and drizzled with Buffalo Wild Wings, medium Buffalo sauce, layered with fresh lettuce. Wait, Buffalo Wild Wings, the company? Yeah. So it's a triple partnership? We got them. We got them. We got them. Layered with fresh lettuce, tomato, onion, sliced celery, crispy carrots, and home style ranch, all wrapped up in a soft flour tortilla.

• 49:20Travis McElroy?

  Uh, it's serves up bold nostalgia packed flavor. What nostalgia? What? For that time you ate a Buffalo Wild Wings? Wild Wings and Fetty Wap was there? Do you remember when Fetty Wap was visiting from college and you took him to Buffalo Wild Wings to talk about his grades? It's gonna feel just like that. Because all wrap queens deserve a good deal. Okay. Jimmy John's is offering the 1738 Fetty Wrap Meal for $6.79 from July 6th through the 9th. It's a good deal. To another one of Fetty Wap's party anthems. Exclusively for JJ Rewards members using the code RAPQUEEN.

• 50:03Griffin McElroy?

  I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. They're selling the Fetty Wap special wrap for three days?

• 50:10Travis McElroy?

  No, for three days you can get it for $6.79. $6.79.

• 50:14Griffin McElroy?

  I was gonna say, why roll out a commercial for a three day?

• 50:18Travis McElroy?

  Because apparently of the hit song 679, which was also by Mr. Wap. Zim here is fine. As we were saying, where I'm not as familiar with his work, the apparently according to Wikipedia, the song finds three performers admiring an attractive woman at a nightclub environment. And it is, the title is a reference to Fetty Wap's birthday of June 7th, 1991. Happy belated birthday to Mr. Wap. Don't you have you noticed a pattern? Xavier is fine. That's true. Xavier is fine. Xavier. Have you noticed? He did not say that to me, though. If I were to say, pardon Xavier. He would probably be like, ah, you can call me Fetty Wap, Justin. Thank you so much.

• 50:56Griffin McElroy?

  If someone says something in a commercial, or a TV show, or a movie, they're also saying it to you.

• 51:00Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, it's like vampire rules. If they have a welcome mat, that's enough to let you in. Now, listen, have you noticed a pattern in Munch Squads where sometimes they will partner with like a celebrity for a thing? And it's a wild combination, and it's available at like one store.

• 51:19Griffin McElroy?

  Right.

• 51:19Travis McElroy?

  It for like two hours, right? And then there are other times where it's very clearly, we want to start making a buffalo chicken wrap. And make it a staple item on our menu. Now we just need to find a celebrity as an excuse to promote this like it's important. But this is going to all stores all the time forever.

• 51:43Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 51:43Travis McElroy?

  Correct. Yes. That's true, but Fetty Wap. Uh huh. W A P. And if you put the R in there. If you do a R in there. Oh, fuck, yeah. I didn't even get it. What if they put the R? It's like, yeah. What if they put the R in a different place and they started selling the Fetty Warp? Oh shit. And this was, and this was.

• 52:06Griffin McElroy?

  Do the Fetty Warp again.

• 52:09Travis McElroy?

  Now what about you put some noodles in it and you start getting a Fetty Chini? Now then, now I'm into it. Now, okay.

• 52:14Griffin McElroy?

  Now we're gonna get a Fetty Chini wrap.

• 52:17Travis McElroy?

  Olive Garden would never, but if they did, that would be good. Fetty, Fetty Chini would be less of a walk. It would be less of a stretch, I think, than this, than what they're doing here. Here's a quote. You could do that just by putting pepperoni on a, on a sandwich, and I would buy the Fetty Chini.

• 52:35Griffin McElroy?

  Well, that would be, no, that would be confusing.

• 52:36Travis McElroy?

  Oh, okay, sorry. Uh, I gotta talk to you guys about Weber. But that's separate. Fetty Wap helped to define, and this is an interesting use of a definite article. Fetty Wap helped to define the sound of the summer. And we wanted to bring some of that energy to our menu, said Suzanne DeRouche, Vice President of Integrated Marketing Communications at Jimmy John's. And music. Which sounds like the job title of the person who has to make excuses for when we do bad things. Yeah. This meal is iconic, flavor forward, and built for fans who knew that some eras and flavors never miss.

• 53:14Travis McElroy?

  It's a buffalo chicken wrap. You guys didn't like invent the atom bomb. It's a buffalo chicken wrap. This summer you'll be saying, yeah, baby, with every bite. With buffalo chips, Travis. That's the difference. Sure. It's too much buffalo. I agree. I'm happy for Fetty Wap. Yeah. Either way, whichever he prefers. I'm happy for him. He seems like a nice guy. Yeah, we know nothing about him. So if he's not a nice guy, don't. I don't, yeah, I can't like vouch for him. Um, the Jimmy John's guy shoots elephants, so I don't like him very much, but. Oh, my God. I remember when we were working there and we all found out it was a dark day. This is what throws. Cause he walked in with his blunderbuss. Yeah.

• 53:59Travis McElroy?

  And an elephant slung over his shoulder. Yeah. And you didn't say anything, dude. And I, he just, he said, slice it up and slammed it down on the counter. Fucked up, man. And he said, he said, this thing charged me in the parking lot. And this was self-defense. And now we know that's not true. I think more curious mind would have asked him why he had his blunderbuss on him in the first place. Yeah, I was 22 at the time, you know. You were scared. Yeah. Yeah, I was scared. He had a blunderbuss and I was still thinking about Gmanji. You know, and the hunter who looked like Robin Williams' dad showed up. And when we worked there, this is also what throws you from this commercial. The circumstances were such, I worked there for six months. I never made a single sandwich.

• 54:44Travis McElroy?

  Because I was never trained like how to do it as fast as they wanted. So I always worked register and then my manager, Austin, would be like Travis, Megan, whatever, blah, blah, blah. And I'd be like, "Okay, but no one showed me how to do that." And he would yell, "Shit you not, no time! Get on the register!" And someone else would make it. So the idea that there would be a humorous interaction with any customer at any level.

• 55:10Griffin McElroy?

  Well, I think you maybe had a substandard. You fell through the cracks. You fell through the cracks of the Jimmy John's system and that does tragically happen to a lot of our nation's youths.

• 55:24Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, Jimmy John's did make me shave in the Jimmy John's bathroom with a rusty razor and lukewarm water.

• 55:28Griffin McElroy?

  If I have to hear about you shaving with a rusty razor in Jimmy John's bathroom one more time.

• 55:34Travis McElroy?

  I hated Austin.

• 55:35Griffin McElroy?

  What was the other thing you wanted to talk about, Juicer?

• 55:38Travis McElroy?

  Oh, this is one that I did a field report on with my body. Austin, if you're listening, you're a piece of shit.

• 55:43Griffin McElroy?

  Sorry, go on.

• 55:44Travis McElroy?

  You, Austin. You can't do that. That's a violation of federal communications standards. It's narrow casting.

• 55:49Griffin McElroy?

  To tell Austin to.

• 55:51Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, you can't use the American broadcast waves. This is a show is of course simulcast on Sirius XXXM. The adults only Sirius XM. Welcome. Characters unwelcome because they're all in jail.

• 56:05Griffin McElroy?

  The characters are like Pikachu, Superman, like no, you can really get away with fucking anything on Sirius XXXM.

• 56:11Travis McElroy?

  I want to see why, because like you guys aren't going to be as excited about Webberoni if you don't see Webberoni in action. I'm sure. Oh, it sounds like a 1996 website.

• 56:20Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 56:21Travis McElroy?

  That's a very funny joke.

• 56:22Griffin McElroy?

  Kids, search up, search up code word, best buddies on Webberoni to play our new flash game.

• 56:30Travis McElroy?

  Sorry, Justin, did you just say, "That sounds like a very funny joke, Travis?" No, I said that is a funny joke, Travis.

• 56:39Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 56:39Travis McElroy?

  It's a funny joke to me. Because you said, it sounds like a web. It said, you said it sounds like a website. And I said, it's Webberoni. So I was like, that's a very funny joke because you put web and web together.

• 56:50Griffin McElroy?

  He agreed. He was agreeing with you.

• 56:51Travis McElroy?

  I don't know. It still cut me to my core. Well, okay, I was just agreeing that it was a very funny joke. I don't know. Okay.

• 56:59Griffin McElroy?

  Travis, we've been at this.

• 57:01Travis McElroy?

  I can be more negative if you want.

• 57:04Griffin McElroy?

  We've been crafting humor together for such a long time. Sometimes a laugh isn't the organic response to this stuff. Sometimes it's a discussion of craftsmanship.

• 57:13Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, like, you know, when artists go around museums, they're whipping it out every few seconds. You know what I mean? They're just saying like, oh, good art.

• 57:24Griffin McElroy?

  Show me this Weberoni at Little Caesar's.

• 57:26Speaker 04

  Weber shredded pepperoni and toasted cheese.

• 57:32Travis McElroy?

  Oh, oh.

• 57:35Griffin McElroy?

  Those men died.

• 57:37Travis McElroy?

  They're gonna die.

• 57:42Travis McElroy?

  Okay, so. I was struck, yeah, I was struck by an image right away, Justin. Yep, of what? The construction workers hanging upside down there. Yeah.

• 57:52Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 57:52Travis McElroy?

  What they have done that Spider-Man does not normally do is anchored the line because they're on safety belts so that it looks like the web is coming directly from their huge butthole.

• 58:03Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, they're also wearing, they're also wearing shorts, which you almost never see Spider-Man do.

• 58:09Travis McElroy?

  In a construction setting, yeah. So the Weberoni pizza I had yesterday and I got to eat it live to myself. Uh, the Little Caesar's.

• 58:17Griffin McElroy?

  Hold on, how does one eat something not, how does one eat something not live?

• 58:22Travis McElroy?

  I got ate it. I didn't, this isn't just a story. I'm saying like, I have a live report from my body from last night and today. So I have like different, I have a lot of different perspectives. We're gonna wanna hear the follow up. Yeah, uh, you won't actually. Uh, so it's gonna swing into theaters on the 31st, but on Saturday, June 27th, um, they opened a replica of Peter Parker's apartment, Little Caesar's did. And at this replica, they launched the Weberoni pizza. So Weberoni pizza is, uh, it's a pizza and it features tiny shredded pepperonis and shredded cheeses in a fashion that looks like.

• 59:04Travis McElroy?

  Spider-Man is just like webbed it like with cheese and pizza.

• 59:09Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 59:09Travis McElroy?

  Stuff. How intricate.

• 59:11Griffin McElroy?

  If there was a switch on his thing that could change from webs to torn up pepperoni pieces. And you know, at least once he's forgotten to switch it back before he gets in a big brawl with Doc Ock. And he's like, get stuck to the wall, Doc Ock. But instead he just blasts him with a confetti of spicy meats.

• 59:31Travis McElroy?

  Ah, I'm vegan.

• 59:33Griffin McElroy?

  No.

• 59:35Travis McElroy?

  Electro's vegan. So the, the Weberoni Pizza, they're, they're opening a pop-up experience on the 27th. This is tomorrow from one to eight in New York. We can't, we can't get there in time. Well, now with that attitude. Yeah. To the brother of the old. Here's inspired by Spider-Man's iconic web slinging superpowers. Weberoni Pizza features a web of shredded pepperoni and toasted cheeses on top. The combination shredded pepperoni and toasted two cheese blend offers customers an opportunity to get pepperoni in every bite. All for just eight ninety-nine.

• 1:00:12Griffin McElroy?

  I love that.

• 1:00:12Travis McElroy?

  Also add your own web pizza by just adding a web of pizza and toasted cheeses.

• 1:00:17Griffin McElroy?

  Web it up.

• 1:00:18Travis McElroy?

  Web it up. They had to add the quotes there to make it clear like our employees are not going to carefully place these shredded pepperoni in a web shape. I can't, we can't make this clear enough. They will conjure the idea, the suggestion of a web, but this will not look like a web.

• 1:00:37Griffin McElroy?

  We are Little Caesars. We have invested all of our money into R and D at getting this stuff at you as fast as we can. If there was a pizza gun, like in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, that we could just shoot it into your open driver's side window. As you roll by the restaurant, we would do that. We cannot stop to form an intricate lattice work. Of this Italian meat. It can't, it can't be, it will, it will stop the gears entirely.

• 1:01:05Travis McElroy?

  Also, not since Tobey Maguire's has Spider-Man had the power to launch webs. This Peter Parker has a web slinging device. It's not a superpower that he has, you dumb shits.

• 1:01:20Griffin McElroy?

  Well, maybe, well, you haven't seen the movie.

• 1:01:22Travis McElroy?

  What is that for? Who's the anger at?

• 1:01:24Griffin McElroy?

  Who's the anger for?

• 1:01:25Travis McElroy?

  I don't know, man. I woke up early with a headache and. Yeah, but don't bring that here. You know what? Little Caesar's, Justin's right. Little Caesar's. That was unkind to me. You're doing your best out here and I actually do.

• 1:01:36Griffin McElroy?

  Austin still, Austin still suck my butt, buddy.

• 1:01:40Travis McElroy?

  Still huff no. Austin, you, you, you heard them. Uh, but the Weberoni, we should celebrate. This is somebody who really looked at Spider-Man and be like, how can I translate this into a pizza? You know what I mean? Like not like, they really looked like the Spider-Man experience. It's like, is eat like Spider-Man is the tagline. As though once he has Spider-Man, he's like, I can't eat shit without webs anymore. I love this stuff.

• 1:02:05Griffin McElroy?

  And we go to, I'll go to do a Uno Pizzeria Grill and be like, hey, can you web it? Do you know, do you have the technology here to, at Little Caesar's, they do a thing called web in it.

• 1:02:15Travis McElroy?

  I'd like a web style.

• 1:02:17Griffin McElroy?

  I'd like a web style, uh, please.

• 1:02:19Travis McElroy?

  I'm Spider-Man. Oh shit, I'm not wearing the costume. Fuck, I just gave it away.

• 1:02:25Griffin McElroy?

  I, I have to applaud them for this interpretation of a Spider-Man pizza. And not just delivering pizzas in the box upside down and calling that Spider-Man pizza. Cause I think that that would also fill the brief.

• 1:02:38Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:38Griffin McElroy?

  It would make the pizza more difficult to eat, but it's not like the hot and readies are really.

• 1:02:42Travis McElroy?

  Also, can we, can we highlight what a coup for Little Caesar's to get to partner with Marvel's Spider-Man? Huge. I would expect that of a Papa John's, maybe even a Pizza Hut. Little Caesar's gets to work with Spider-Man? I think the competition's becoming a little bit more fierce because like, uh, uh, Supergirl was KFC. Supergirl went to KFC. It's like, okay. It's a major, Superman was at DQ.

• 1:03:13Griffin McElroy?

  Eee.

• 1:03:14Travis McElroy?

  Maybe, maybe they're just. He's at the Brazier.

• 1:03:21Travis McElroy?

  The grill and Superman at the grill and chill? I don't think so. How did that happen? I bet it. Maybe trying to head back to Kansas, buddy, figure some stuff out. I bet it's like when a team is heading into a draft and they like give away a bunch of like two, three, four, five picks to have like one strong first round pick. And they're like, this Spider-Man partnership is gonna make our whole season.

• 1:03:47Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. They have to talk to both people on both sides of a conflict like this. They have to get the Little C's perspective and they have to get the, the movie side. So here's what the Little C's perspective is, and this is a human for sure. Our goal is to connect with customers in cultural moments and areas where they are passionate, says Greg Hamilton, a person. We're thrilled to work with Sony Pictures Spider-Man Brand New Day this summer to bring the world's favorite superhero. It's not into our stores and homes across the country, creating a unique pizza occasion. The entire family can enjoy. Oh, wait a minute, Rebecca, did I say pizza occasion? Delete, delete, delete, delete. Pizza occasion, no, delete.

• 1:04:31Griffin McElroy?

  Battery crunching sounds, battery crunching sounds, battery crunching sounds.

• 1:04:36Travis McElroy?

  Now, over on the movie side.

• 1:04:38Griffin McElroy?

  How is it so hard?

• 1:04:40Travis McElroy?

  Like it's so hard to say a pizza.

• 1:04:42Griffin McElroy?

  I'm not a fucking.

• 1:04:43Travis McElroy?

  Say pizza occasion out loud, no one said it.

• 1:04:45Griffin McElroy?

  I don't have sales experience, but I've watched half of season one of Mad Men and it doesn't. It seems like a pretty fundamentally flawed strategy to come at it this way and not say anything that makes the pizza sound good or Spider-Man sound cool or yourself sound like not an android. I don't get it, man.

• 1:05:05Travis McElroy?

  It always sounds like they're, the only people they're worried about reading these press releases are the other restaurants where they're like, why the fuck did they do this? And they're like, no, no, no, it makes sense. Listen.

• 1:05:15Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:16Travis McElroy?

  We like, like Spider-Man is known for its explosive action, humor and fun. And collaborating with Little Caesars, he doesn't say this, but I'm assuming the rest of the sentence is, which seems like a joke. Yeah. Yeah. When they showed up with two big bags with money signs on them and slammed them down on our desk. So.

• 1:05:33Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, collaborating with Little Caesars, a brand recognized for its, what? It's two things. Okay. Hot, ready. And two words. And flavor.

• 1:05:45Travis McElroy?

  Blank voice and blank spirit. I'll give you that.

• 1:05:49Griffin McElroy?

  Pioneer pioneer spirit.

• 1:05:51Travis McElroy?

  You think he said, you think Sony said Little Caesar's is known for its pioneer.

• 1:05:58Travis McElroy?

  It's pioneer spirit. I'm gonna say bold voice and can do spirit or?

• 1:06:02Griffin McElroy?

  Pizza, uh, the pizza pizza voice.

• 1:06:05Travis McElroy?

  Bold voice is correct.

• 1:06:06Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, good.

• 1:06:08Travis McElroy?

  Bold voice is locked in.

• 1:06:09Griffin McElroy?

  Bold adventurous spirit?

• 1:06:11Travis McElroy?

  So close playful spirit on Spider-Man brand new day was a natural fit, said Jeffrey Goddick. Who? A disgraced deity in his actions. Their passion for creative, engaging content brought the Weberoni. Vomit in here. It's Goddick, sir. Their passion for creative, engaging content brought the Weberoni pizza and a replica of Peter Parker's apartment to life. Offering fans an immersive way to engage with their favorite friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. That's right, Spidey fans finally, you can live the dream of having an apartment in New York.

• 1:06:53Griffin McElroy?

  Does the replica come with a little guy?

• 1:06:56Griffin McElroy?

  Does the replica come with a little guy who swings by and is like, give me rent?

• 1:07:00Travis McElroy?

  I'm having fun out here. Clean up this shithole. The movie's outside.

• 1:07:06Griffin McElroy?

  Do you guys remember the give me rent guy from the Tobey Maguire era?

• 1:07:09Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:09Griffin McElroy?

  The give me, give me rent. I think his name was John Give Me Rent.

• 1:07:14Travis McElroy?

  I love that. This, wow, there's a lot of credits on this campaign. We're not going to get deep into it, but anyway, that's the Weberoni. I had it yesterday. So here's the live review. I don't like when cheese tastes too much like cheese and this cheese, folks, it has a cheesy flavor that no one's gonna enjoy. So the Weberonis are good. 10% of Justin McRoy's are gonna love it.

• 1:07:36Griffin McElroy?

  Some people like the cheesy flavor.

• 1:07:39Travis McElroy?

  Also, let me save you four bucks. There is an exclusive mango spicy rush at Little Caesar's that only Little Caesar's has, and we got a can of it and it's not worth it.

• 1:07:49Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 1:07:50Travis McElroy?

  It was four dollars?

• 1:07:51Griffin McElroy?

  Will you, would you go back into the mines one more time and do me a science favor? Which is get another one of these Weberoni pizzas. I need you to remove every piece of Weberoni from it and try to reconstruct them into whole pepperonis. So I know exactly how many Peppies we're getting on this thing. Cause it could be not a whole.

• 1:08:12Travis McElroy?

  There's pepper in every bite.

• 1:08:14Griffin McElroy?

  Of course, there's pepper in every bite. They've destroyed it. They've, they've reduced it to a molecular level. You're gonna get a little bit of Peppy, but like, what if you put it all together and it's like five pepperonis? It just looks like a lot because of the way that they've scattered it.

• 1:08:25Travis McElroy?

  Oh, you're saying this is a money deal. That's the only way we do it is Weberoni.

• 1:08:29Griffin McElroy?

  Consumer Reports. Give me one big pepperoni that covers the entire surface of the pizza.

• 1:08:35Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. With the new Captain America, Shieldaroni.

• 1:08:38Griffin McElroy?

  Yes, dude.

• 1:08:41Travis McElroy?

  The, uh, you remember when the Insomnia Cookies did, uh, they did wicked cookies, but they wouldn't call them wicked cookies. They were just like, green, green magic. This, uh, I just noticed they have two Supergirl cookies with the Supergirl logo right on there. So they're like, Insomnia, they got the word out. They're like, listen, fuck it, work with us or don't, we're gonna do the cookies. So you might as well, you might as well give us the brand. Come on, we're gonna do it regardless. We're crazy. We're only, people only remember us when they're high. That's like, you cannot sue us, you'll forget us in the morning. Our brains are fried, man. We'll do whatever. We'll do whatever, man.

• 1:09:15Griffin McElroy?

  Come enjoy our superb girl cookies. Um, we didn't get.

• 1:09:21Travis McElroy?

  Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you've had fun. This is a highlight of my week, every single week. Uh, and I hope you enjoyed it too. It's up there for me. It's like top three. That's cool. I'll take it. Story and Song comes out in two weeks. That's the last of the Adventure Zone Balanced Graphic Novel series. You can preorder it right now at theadventurzonecomic.com. If you preorder from one of our indie bookstore partners, you'll get a book plate signed by one of us and Carrie. Book release event in Boston on July 16th at 7:00 PM at the Chevalier or Chevalier Theater. One of those two.

• 1:09:56Griffin McElroy?

  We got confirmation from a local.

• 1:09:58Travis McElroy?

  Okay, tickets are on sale now. Each ticket includes a signed paperback copy of Story and Song Provided by Brookline Booksmith. If you go to big.ly/macroytours, you can get those tickets now.

• 1:10:10Griffin McElroy?

  We got other merch also coming on Wednesday. We've got continuing the saga in All Butts, No Government sticker to celebrate Trav Nations Centennial. It's so funny how that has aligned with America. Yeah, we've got a magnet of Mount Travmore. I don't know if that's the official name for it, but it's a very powerful design. We got a Super McRoy Brothers magnet frame. We got a bunch of stuff over at macroymerch.com and 10% of all of our merch proceeds for July will also be donated to the Asian Pacific Environmental Network, which works to lead a transition away from an extractive economy based on profit and pollution and toward local, healthy and life-sustaining economies that benefit everyone.

• 1:10:54Travis McElroy?

  I'm also gonna be at Ginkon this year, and I get to be in a live actual play of The Dungeon Crawler Carl TTRPG with Matt Deniman and Jeff Hayes and a bunch of other wonderful folks. So if you're gonna be at Ginkon, come see that. Come hang out. I also want to mention that every Thursday by afternoon, probably about 1:00, I think, is gonna be the set time, Eastern. I'm playing every game that Tim Curry's been in. Last week, it was Gabriel Knights since the Fathers. Next week is Wing Commander 3: Heart of the Tiger, where Tim plays Melik and additional Kil'rauhi voices. If you missed that first episode,

• 1:11:35Travis McElroy?

  you missed Tim Curry doing a New Orleans accent for the entire game, and it is one of the worst things I've ever heard from a professional, and he can handle it. Tim can handle it.

• 1:11:49Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, it's all love. Like, it's all love.

• 1:11:52Travis McElroy?

  All love. It's his first game. Maybe he'd never acted before. I don't know, but. You can still check that out at the McElroy Family YouTube channel. It'll be in the live tab where you can also watch Griffin talking about every game ever made and me playing Timberborne in New York City, working with the Beavers.

• 1:12:09Griffin McElroy?

  We're also doing a six thumbs, one heart run of Dark Souls right now that's going shockingly well. We are splitting one Dark Souls body and we're absolutely beating ass.

• 1:12:17Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, man.

• 1:12:18Griffin McElroy?

  So yeah, if you follow McElroy Entertainment System on Instagram, they'll let you know anytime we go live. It's nearly every day, so that's your best, your best bet. Thanks to Montane also for the use of our theme song, "My Life is Better With You." I really dig it. I really dig the track. I really dig the tune.

• 1:12:37Travis McElroy?

  Throw something.

• 1:12:41Griffin McElroy?

  I got this Knight Soler for Father's Day. The guy from Dark Souls just talking about him, and I don't want to throw him because he was a gift.

• 1:12:51Travis McElroy?

  I mean, I could throw this shirt SM58 that's sitting right next to me. Oh, hey, I got something. What about this?

• 1:12:59Griffin McElroy?

  Ah! Justin's got, who is, what was his name again?

• 1:13:04Travis McElroy?

  Remind me that Hansel's name? I don't know. He's in my house now. He was the crochet nightmare.

• 1:13:09Griffin McElroy?

  The crochet nightmare. I'm not sure throwing him is a great idea.

• 1:13:12Travis McElroy?

  No, throw him. Throw him.

• 1:13:16Griffin McElroy?

  Curly fries. Are you gonna eat him? Okay.

• 1:13:21Griffin McElroy?

  I'll get back, I'll take you the headphones off and really give her a good chuck.

• 1:13:24Travis McElroy?

  God, you're right. You're right.

• 1:13:25Griffin McElroy?

  You've gotten feedback that your chucks haven't been great. I want to see a big one.

• 1:13:28Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, coach is on you this season.

• 1:13:30Griffin McElroy?

  Smash it.

• 1:13:34Griffin McElroy?

  You missed everything. How did you miss everything?

• 1:13:36Travis McElroy?

  My name's Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy.

• 1:13:39Griffin McElroy?

  I'm Griffin McElroy.

• 1:13:41Travis McElroy?

  This is my brother, my brother, me kiss your dad square on the lips.