EP.264 - DAVID O'DOHERTY (LIVE)

Adam talks with Irish comedian David O'Doherty in front of a live audience at the 2018 Dublin podcast festival, in an episode rescued from Adam's shamefully disorganised, dusty pod vault. As well as delicious vintage waffle about email scams, cycling, music, comedy inspirations and puking on stage, David sings a couple of songs and is generally terrific company. Plus Adam shares some cultural recommendations. Conversation recorded live at Vicar Street, Dublin on 3 October 2018 WATCH OUT! THIS EPISODE CONTAINS VERY STRONG LANGUAGE Thanks to Séamus Murphy-Mitchell for production support Podcast illustration by Helen Green https://helengreenillustration.com/ Listen to Adam's album 'Buckle Up' https://adambuxton.lnk.to/BuckleUp Order Adam's book 'I Love You Byeee' https://lnk.to/iloveyoubyeee_ Sign up for the newsletter on Adam's website https://www.adam-buxton.co.uk/ (scroll down on homepage) RELATED LINKS DAVID O'DOHERTY WEBSITE https://www.davidodoherty.com/ DAVID ON CONAN SINGING ‘LIFE’ https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=301&v=S59FMm2wMUk - 2015 (YOUTUBE) THE MODEST ADVENTURES OF DAVID O’DOHERTY EP.1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcepP_OdMtQ - 2006 (YOUTUBE) TIME TRUMPET - DRAGON'S DEN SKETCH https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIgdGTg5mSw - 2006 (YOUTUBE) SOUPY NORMAN EP. 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHuFWYh5QF4 by Barry Murphy and Mark Doherty - 2007 (YOUTUBE) KEVIN McALEER ON FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FMjCB5-xw8 - 1987 (YOUTUBE) LADY GAGA VOMITS ON STAGE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQLzcD3UHGk&list=RDNQLzcD3UHGk&start_radio=1 - 2012 (YOUTUBE) ADAM ON TALK 90s TO ME PODCAST WITH MIRANDA SAWYER https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMVga2RgggM - 2025 (YOUTUBE) THE RUNNING MAN https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KD18ddeFuyM (OFFICIAL TRAILER) - 2025 (YOUTUBE) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  I added one more podcast to the giant podcast bin. Now you have plucked that podcast out and started listening. I took my microphone and found some human folk. Then I recorded all the noises while we spoke. My name is Adam Buckston, I'm a man. I want you to enjoy this, that's the plan.

• 0:31Adam Buxton?

  Hey, how are you doing, podcats? It's Adam Buckston here. I'm reporting to you from the gloaming out here in a cold Norfolk field, early November 2025. I'm out here with my dog friend Rosie. How are you doing, though, podcats? I hope you're very well. Thank you so much for coming back and joining us for another ludicrous conversational ramble. My ramble partner today is David O'Doherty. Here's some assorted O'Doherty facts for you. David was born on the 18th of December 1975.

• 1:12Adam Buxton?

  He is an Irish comedian, author, musician, actor and playwright, and the son of renowned jazz pianist Jim Doherty. He earned a place at Trinity College Dublin to study philosophy. And there he was a member of the Jazz Society and, apparently, a fake breakdancing society. It was while he was studying at Trinity that he began his comedy career. Early pre-comedy jobs included telemarketing and working in a bicycle shop. David is a keen cyclist to this day. He made his first appearance at Dublin's Comedy Cellar in 1998. By 2007, David had his own TV show on Ireland's RTE 2, a six-part series called The Modest

• 1:57Adam Buxton?

  Adventures of David O'Doherty. There's a link to an episode in the description. In two thousand and eight, David won the prestigious Edinburgh Comedy Award for his show Let's Comedy. He's had a show at the Edinburgh Fringe every year since then, except pandemic year and maybe the year after. And his extensive international touring also includes a couple of years when he supported Flight of the Conchords. David is also a successful children's author with the Danger is Everywhere series of books and The Samurai Robbed a Bank, which won the Irish Children's Book of the Year Award and was adapted for the stage. Music, of course, is a central part of David's life, and he describes his own comedic musical

• 2:41Adam Buxton?

  style as "very low-energy musical whimsy". Since two thousand and twenty-four, David has also co-hosted, along with Max Rushton, the podcast What Did You Do Yesterday, wherein guests, including Adam Buxton, are asked to describe what they did the day before recording What Did You Do Yesterday. The conversation with David that you're about to hear on this podcast was recorded in front of a live audience as part of the Dublin Podcast Festival in two thousand and twenty-eighteen. Now, I don't know if you realise, but that's quite a long time ago. So earlier today, I sent David a voice message to ask how he felt about me unearthing this episode after all this time.

• 3:24Adam Buxton?

  Hey Siri, you're not going to say hello?

• 3:30Speaker 02

  I can do that. Hello?

• 3:33Adam Buxton?

  Thanks, just keeps it a bit more friendly.

• 3:34Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 3:35Adam Buxton?

  I'd like to send a voice message, please.

• 3:38Speaker 02

  To who?

• 3:39Adam Buxton?

  David O'Doherty.

• 3:40Speaker 02

  To David O'Doherty in Messages. Go ahead.

• 3:44Adam Buxton?

  Actually, I think it's more like Doherty, I think, guttural.

• 3:46Speaker 02

  Send it.

• 3:48Adam Buxton?

  No, that's not the message, I'm just correcting you on your pronunciation of Doherty. I think I'm pronouncing it right.

• 3:54Speaker 02

  Send it.

• 3:55Adam Buxton?

  No.

• 3:57Speaker 02

  I won't send it.

• 3:58Adam Buxton?

  Please don't send that one, no. Send voice message to David O'Doherty, please.

• 4:04Speaker 02

  Go ahead.

• 4:05Adam Buxton?

  David O'Doherty, D O D, Doddles, the Doddman out, Snoop Dodd, Dodd Future. Oh, this is lame.

• 4:17Speaker 02

  I won't send it.

• 4:18Adam Buxton?

  No, don't send that one, please. Record new voice message.

• 4:21Speaker 02

  Sorry, sorry, I can't help with that. You can learn more about logging your health data with Siri at apple dot com.

• 4:26Adam Buxton?

  Ah, it's okay, don't worry, I'll sort this out myself, Siri, thank you, bye.

• 4:31Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 4:33Adam Buxton?

  And that's the AI revolution, is it?

• 4:38Adam Buxton?

  Hey, David, Adam Buxton here. Hope you're very well. It was good fun being on What Did You Do Yesterday earlier this year. And it reminded me, of course, that I am sitting on a great live episode of my podcast that we recorded in Dublin in twenty eighteen. Don't know if you can remember back that far. I certainly have trouble. Now, why did I never get it together to put that episode out before now, you may well ask? Well, combination of boring, technical and organisational reasons, but I listened to it again the other day and it's really great. I loved it. So I wanted to ask if you would be okay with me putting it out now?

• 5:20Adam Buxton?

  And if it did go out, it would have the distinction of being the longest gap between recording and transmission of an episode in the history of this podcast. Maybe in the history of any podcast. Eight years. A lot has happened in eight years. Some things haven't changed. The day we recorded our episode in Vicar Street, there had been protests in Dublin over the housing crisis in Ireland that is sadly ongoing. Less sadly, though, we talked about the joys of cycling and music. That hasn't gone away. You played a couple of your own timeless songs, although one of them was about going

• 6:02Adam Buxton?

  back in time to talk to your younger self, but mainly we just laughed and enjoyed each other's company and had what I believe the Flintstones would have called a gay old time. So anyway, let me know how you feel about the world finally getting to enjoy that night with us. And if you want to let me know how you feel in a voice note. Then I can include the voice note in this introduction. Unless, of course, you're pissed off and you just leave a very bitter rant about what a disrespectful, disorganised live podcast twat I am. Either way, thanks for a great night all those years ago. Lots of love, speak soon, bye.

• 6:42Adam Buxton?

  There we are, that's the message I sent to David. And just a few minutes ago, I got this reply.

• 6:48Speaker 03

  Hey Adam Buxton, greetings from C D of row four on flight E I one six seven from Heathrow to Dublin, it hasn't taken off yet. Thank you. E I one six seven. Yes, I do remember our gig. I was forty-two then. I'm forty-nine now. I don't think, I remember it having been really fun at the time. I'm thinking, oh yeah, I can't wait for people to listen to this. But, Adam, that only went on for five years, I would say. I don't know what I thought happened to our episode, because it was a live one.

• 7:33Speaker 03

  I know they can be a bit weird sometimes. And I thought maybe I'd been a bit too sassy or something on it. But I say yes, you may put out our chat from October twenty eighteen.

• 7:49Adam Buxton?

  Thank you very much, David. Very nice of him to get back to me. And I apologise to him and to you, podcasts, for the delay to your service. If you like, you can pick up a delay repay form, fill it out, and absolutely nothing will happen. I don't think I need to explain too much in our conversation. Some of the more visual sections have been edited out, but I hope you enjoy these selective chunks, including a little bit in the middle during the interval when myself and David carried on chatting in my dressing room before going back on stage. I'll be back at the end with a tiny bit more waffle, but right now, with twenty eighteen, David O'Doherty. Here we go.

• 8:43Adam Buxton?

  Whatever you want, do you wanna... Yeah, let's sit down, let's sit down.

• 8:49Speaker 03

  Hello.

• 9:00Adam Buxton?

  Whatever you want, do you wanna... Yeah, let's sit down, let's sit down.

• 9:19Speaker 03

  Hello.

• 9:25Speaker 03

  Huge number of bicycles. I cycled to the gig here this evening.

• 9:29Adam Buxton?

  Yes.

• 9:29Speaker 03

  And I'll say this about, what do we call the people who come to your live podcasts?

• 9:33Adam Buxton?

  Podcats.

• 9:34Speaker 03

  Podcat. The French for that is ramble chat.

• 9:38Adam Buxton?

  Oui.

• 9:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, oui.

• 9:40Adam Buxton?

  Les chats de rambles.

• 9:42Speaker 03

  De rambles. A whole lot of cyclists here. I mean, I don't want to say that they're not a really successful group of people that come to your gigs, but it wasn't a whole lot of five series BMWs out there.

• 9:58Speaker 03

  There was a big rally about housing today here. I'd say a lot of the audience were at us, and they were like, "The last thing we expected was to have these pricks."

• 10:09Adam Buxton?

  You know...

• 10:10Speaker 03

  Oh, I didn't know this was the Patriarchy Live.

• 10:14Adam Buxton?

  I think I saw that demonstration, actually. It's outside my hotel.

• 10:21Adam Buxton?

  And I was standing in my bathrobe, looking out at them, and I thought, "Good on you."

• 10:28Adam Buxton?

  Bloody good job. Actually, I did go, I walked past them, and as I walked past, there was a photographer there, and he was, I swear to you, saying to one of the protesters, a young woman, short hair, kind of a Mohican, and...

• 10:45Speaker 03

  A radical look going on, shall we say.

• 10:48Adam Buxton?

  And this photographer, who was a kind of a middle-aged cheesy photographer guy, no disrespect, he's apparently a genius, was saying, "Okay, let's get one more, this time chin up a tiny bit, and look sort of defiant, but with a bit of a smile."

• 11:08Speaker 03

  Sure, you know where to live, but on the upside, it's quite a nice day today.

• 11:13Adam Buxton?

  Exactly.

• 11:14Speaker 03

  So, not a bad time to be homeless.

• 11:15Adam Buxton?

  You don't wanna put people off. If you look angry the whole time, people won't listen. It's here. I got you a present.

• 11:21Speaker 03

  Oh, no way.

• 11:22Adam Buxton?

  From London. I don't know if you've been to London. But this is a real...

• 11:27Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 11:29Adam Buxton?

  London bear from London Airport.

• 11:32Speaker 03

  Thank you so much.

• 11:37Speaker 03

  There are the bears that protect your queen.

• 11:40Adam Buxton?

  Exactly. And this bear, I mean, he's dressed as... This is a strange bear, really, if you think about it, because he's dressed as a beef eater. And they protect the queen.

• 11:51Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 11:51Adam Buxton?

  And he's wearing on his head a bearskin...

• 11:56Adam Buxton?

  Hat.

• 11:58Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 11:58Adam Buxton?

  So he's a sick bear.

• 12:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:02Adam Buxton?

  He's a grotesque, kind of Hannibal Lecter-style bear that they've got protecting the queen.

• 12:07Speaker 03

  He's a grizzly with a black bear hat on his own head.

• 12:12Adam Buxton?

  Right.

• 12:12Speaker 03

  So there's, yeah, even within the bears then, there's a sort of hierarchy, I guess.

• 12:17Adam Buxton?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, fuck the grizzlies. This is what I think of the grizzlies. I'm gonna wear your whole body as a hat. And that still happens. I Googled, "do the beef eaters still wear bearskin hats?" Because you would think, like, surely 2018...

• 12:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:34Adam Buxton?

  Someone must have sent a memo to the MoD. This is what the MoD says about the bearskin hats.

• 12:40Speaker 03

  The MoD, no, no, what was that?

• 12:42Adam Buxton?

  Ministry of Defence.

• 12:45Adam Buxton?

  Yeah. That's right. Paul Weller runs... He protects the queen.

• 12:51Adam Buxton?

  With his beady, angry eyes. Have you ever met Paul Weller?

• 12:56Speaker 03

  And no, but I'm friends with Connor O'Brien, who would be villagers. He's my neighbour, and he has worked on a song on the new Paul Weller album.

• 13:04Adam Buxton?

  Oh, really?

• 13:04Speaker 03

  Which he says is really good, then. He's one of those people who, he has been around for so long and continues to put out records that people like. I think that's the blandest statement I've ever... I was looking at the blandest rock writing of all. So I'm obsessed with, the most mild form of literature of all is in-flight magazine journalism. Okay? No, there's two mild sorts of literature for me. The one I'd love to write is in glossy magazines for ladies mid-30s plus. There'll be a letter from the editor at the start, where she's like this, swooshing her

• 13:45Speaker 03

  hair around, like that, and it'll be like, "Hey, gang, boy, do we have a great issue for you this week." She's always happy about it. That is a mild form of literature, but it's not as mild as rock reviews in Irish in-flight, in the Aer Lingus magazine. It'll be like, "Ed Sheeran's back, and he's done it again." You're never gonna get one of those legendary NME reviews, which is just like, "What the fuck is this? Sheeran, what are you doing, you absolute cunt?" One star.

• 14:21Adam Buxton?

  But I like that. I will be sad the day that those in-flight mags get edgy. You know, because there'll be some tosspot who wants to like, "Let's really shake things up." I think that it's to create a comforting atmosphere on board a big death machine.

• 14:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, there is that, but then there's the sort of awful mix of capitalism. You know, the golden rule in visiting any city is never do anything that's recommended in an in-flight magazine, or especially that's taken out an ad in an in-flight magazine. Have you ever, Irish people, have you ever looked at the ads in the Aer Lingus magazine? There are four of these places none of us have ever been. It'll be like, "Dargleao Boxties," you know? And it'll be something like, "Ireland's oldest pub since, like, 637?" Or you're something like, "What? How is it possibly that old?" At midnight, an Englishman will be ceremonially killed, just as has happened since the 8th century.

• 15:22Adam Buxton?

  All of that sounds good, by the way. Is Dudley O'Boxley's real?

• 15:28Speaker 03

  You got me a present, I got you a present as well. So I have a bicycle obsession.

• 15:33Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 15:34Speaker 03

  Particularly bicycles of the 90s, and I enjoy everything that accompanies it. The real height of the blatant drugs era. I mean, everyone's still on drugs. But at least now the drugs they're taking are a little more complicated. Then, I buy these ex-pro bikes, you buy them on eBay for 400 or 500 quid, where you can, like, it has ridden the Tour de France, running your nose along the saddle. You get a stench of EPO, Office, or whatever. And, and then a big part of cycling, particularly in the 80s, was your bum. Like, that was to stop it getting, particularly in the mountain stages, with the cooling of shooting down the mountains,

• 16:18Speaker 03

  where your sweat could potentially freeze on a cold day, because you're going so fast, and then sweating as you go back up again. So it was all about taking care of your butt.

• 16:29Adam Buxton?

  Of the Netherlands.

• 16:29Speaker 03

  Of, yeah.

• 16:32Speaker 03

  And, so with that in mind, a key product was La Creme Lubrifiante Par Excellence Pour Les Chamois. It's chamois butteur.

• 16:43Adam Buxton?

  Oh, mate.

• 16:44Speaker 03

  So it's B-U-T-T, comma, R. And, even if you're just going to the shops, because I know you like to cycle, I need you to smear half a tube of that down there now, to prevent saddle sores.

• 16:57Adam Buxton?

  The ultimate skin lubricant. Now, do you say chamois or chamois?

• 17:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think we say chamois, but...

• 17:05Adam Buxton?

  Chamois cream.

• 17:07Speaker 03

  Yeah. I filled it with jizz.

• 17:16Speaker 03

  This is so, especially if this does go up. Oh my god, he's lubing up, to the listeners. Buxton is lubing. I mean, now we can go as long as we want.

• 17:25Adam Buxton?

  Is it supposed to go right in?

• 17:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, it goes... I mean, that's where the infection starts. I mean, in a way, you could send it down from the other end just by swallowing it, and then letting it all go straight through.

• 17:40Adam Buxton?

  So we'll do more meet and greet in a bit. And it'd be great to say hello. Thanks, man, I appreciate that.

• 17:48Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, this ties in with what you've just put on your butt. To the listeners, I'm wearing a t-shirt that appears to say "I heart KY", as in KY jelly.

• 17:58Adam Buxton?

  Yes.

• 17:58Speaker 03

  But, in fact, the "heart", if you look carefully, is a bicycle. And the KY is Kerry, because I went to Kerry for Kerry Bicycle Week.

• 18:06Adam Buxton?

  Ah. I was in Kerry a couple of weeks ago.

• 18:09Speaker 03

  Really?

• 18:10Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 18:11Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 18:11Adam Buxton?

  Because my producer, Seamus...

• 18:14Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 18:14Adam Buxton?

  His family has a place there, and so I went to try and do some writing. So I was wandering around the coast of Kerry, and it was, god, it's beautiful.

• 18:23Speaker 03

  Did you get any inspiration from it? Because, I mean, I've tried to do this myself.

• 18:27Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 18:28Speaker 03

  But sometimes, it's too... I mean, you're too worried about human survival, sometimes, in remote areas. Like, there's a reason the Neanderthals aren't remembered for their great plays.

• 18:38Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 18:42Adam Buxton?

  No, I did, I had a bit of that. The weather was quite severe, and I didn't want to be housebound the whole time, I wanted to get some exercise. So I went out for a walk in this lashing wind and rain, wandering along. Then I came up against some cows.

• 18:56Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 18:57Adam Buxton?

  I didn't know what the situation was with the cows, like...

• 19:00Speaker 03

  You just gotta lub up and hope for the best.

• 19:03Adam Buxton?

  Yeah. Cow deaths are quite, I don't know about in Ireland, but in the UK, there's a lot of, um...

• 19:10Speaker 03

  No.

• 19:10Adam Buxton?

  No?

• 19:12Speaker 03

  I mean, inasmuch as bulls are, you know, like the matador, I see a danger there.

• 19:19Adam Buxton?

  No, not just bulls. The cows get all tramply.

• 19:23Speaker 03

  I mean, what, were you trying to mount them? Was this your first rodeo? I was just saying, goes. No, because so Granny O'Doherty spent a lot of the year living on Accel, which, I mean, Kerry's great, but it's Manhattan compared to Accel. Which is, it's a sort of island shaped like a handgun off the west coast, off Mayo, where there's like six trees on the island. You know a place that, it's too severe for fucking shrubbery.

• 20:02Speaker 03

  If you leave your bike outside overnight, in the morning it's just a pile of dust. Written in the dust, fuck you. Go back to the city, you prick.

• 20:13Adam Buxton?

  And I know what the deal is out here, I don't want to get into trouble with the farmers or the cows, anyway, so I went back. But it's very difficult to stick to any kind of routine, like when you're alone in a house and you're trying to write.

• 20:26Speaker 03

  It's too much.

• 20:27Adam Buxton?

  Especially with the internet, obviously, it's a total disaster area.

• 20:31Speaker 03

  Oh, hang on, well, that's Kerry, you do not get that in Accel, no way. It may be the most Celtic prog rock moment of my life. You get a bit more 3G now in Accel, just with the way that the aerials have gotten better or whatever. But it's very much like weather dependent and stuff like that. And one time, I was waiting for emails to come in, I really need to check it, and I walked about a quarter of the way up Sleafmore, the large mountain there, like all the time, holding my phone skywards like He-Man, summoning the power of Grayskull. And I couldn't get it, and I was getting a bit more, and then I clambered up on some rocks, and I got it.

• 21:16Speaker 03

  And then I realised I was standing on a megalithic tomb. Like something that the pre-Celts had put there 4,000 years ago, that now I was just using to...

• 21:29Adam Buxton?

  I think you'll find that's why the Celts put it there.

• 21:33Speaker 03

  I'm like, what, what has come in? Like, this is obviously going to be a message from like, David, I love you, or something. It's like, what is, oh, booking.com, I've got some new offers, great.

• 21:43Adam Buxton?

  I've started getting cannabis-infused gummy bear emails. Do you get those at all?

• 21:50Speaker 03

  No, I mean, you've obviously ordered something.

• 21:52Adam Buxton?

  No.

• 21:53Speaker 03

  Is this the dark web?

• 21:55Adam Buxton?

  No, I swear to you, I've never done anything like that. I swear to you.

• 22:01Adam Buxton?

  But I've just out of the blue started, it's like, I've thought about them. And I've thought, yeah.

• 22:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:08Adam Buxton?

  If someone offers me one, I'll give it a go.

• 22:11Speaker 03

  And but getting them posted.

• 22:12Adam Buxton?

  But then they've been reading my thoughts and now I'm getting emails all the time. And it's one of these, if you look down at the bottom and you click on unsubscribe, it's sort of burnt into the whole email. And if you click on it, then you get launched off to the spam site that they want you to go to. And then they start harvesting your data. Like, I got a really good one from, I say really good, it was bad, but it was, it totally fooled me.

• 22:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:38Adam Buxton?

  It looked as if it was from Apple and it was saying, here's the receipt for your recent purchase of something or other. And they'd clearly, some algorithm had gone through the kind of things I buy and that my family buys.

• 22:51Speaker 03

  Like what, can you think of a thing?

• 22:53Adam Buxton?

  Yeah, well, it was, you know, my daughter's on the same account as me, she's only 10. So basically I pay for her purchases, she's supposed to clear them with me, but I'm always getting like, oh, it's, she's bought another 10 Percy Jackson books on her iPad, you know? And so it was that kind of thing. And I thought, ah, damn it! This time, you know, I didn't, I didn't order that, what's going on here? And so it said, if you did not make this purchase, fill in your details. So I clicked on the thing.

• 23:21Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 23:22Adam Buxton?

  And I got halfway through before I was like, duh!

• 23:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:27Adam Buxton?

  I was literally just about to give them all my passwords and type in my, you know, because I was signing into iCloud, they're like, if you need to sort this out, you're gonna need to sign into iCloud. So I do all that and, oh, man, it was such a bad feeling. Have you ever had your identity stolen?

• 23:43Speaker 03

  I mean, I had, uh, once I was involved, I won't put a time on this, but I was once involved in a very intimate act with a lady.

• 23:57Adam Buxton?

  Well done, by the way, can I just say? That's great.

• 24:04Speaker 03

  Oh, thanks. Oh, that high five was too hard. And Siri piped up, "I don't know why you'd call me that." Or something, you know the way you can activate, I think you can activate.

• 24:16Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 24:17Speaker 03

  In fact, possibly by me saying Siri now, I speak quite clearly. I mean, I would say I have a very clear speaking voice. Yeah, but I think the podcasts.

• 24:26Adam Buxton?

  Hey Siri.

• 24:28Speaker 03

  I'm listening.

• 24:30Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 24:30Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 24:31Adam Buxton?

  It's that, people know how Siri works.

• 24:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I'm thinking, because you can be, Siri can arrive sometimes. You've got man Siri. That's interesting.

• 24:41Adam Buxton?

  You can, you can, you can have whatever you like.

• 24:46Speaker 03

  Irish Siri is a lady. I don't see any man Irish Siri, is there?

• 24:52Adam Buxton?

  You can choose whatever Siri you want.

• 24:54Speaker 03

  No, I think that's, that's English Siri.

• 24:57Adam Buxton?

  Is it?

• 24:58Speaker 03

  Yeah. We're in the EU, mate. We've, uh...

• 25:03Speaker 03

  We're, we're, we're in favour of female Siri's.

• 25:09Speaker 03

  Surely the big scandal in 10 years' time is gonna be all those absolute fools who've given spit samples to, you know, if ever there's a Cambridge Analytica waiting to happen, it's everyone who's gone for those ancestry tests and has basically now given all of their personal details, which is what you do, and your DNA as well. I mean, that is a murder waiting to happen. A murder where at the crime scene is left some of your DNA. And what's that? Oh, all of your personal information as well.

• 25:42Adam Buxton?

  Let's get back to bikes for a second. That's a good segue.

• 25:49Adam Buxton?

  How do you find bike shop guys these days, or bike shop staff?

• 25:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:57Adam Buxton?

  Someone shouted out, "It's bastards."

• 25:59Speaker 03

  It's the closest you'll get to black books.

• 26:03Adam Buxton?

  Right. But I was thinking that it had changed, because they certainly used to be pricks.

• 26:08Speaker 03

  Ah, well, now, so in Dublin and Ireland at the moment, there's a bike-to-work scheme that involves the government will pay half of the price of a new bike. So consequently, people buy quite fancy bikes, like are buying 600, 700 euro bikes, and they really love if they see a bike-to-work chump come in.

• 26:28Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 26:29Speaker 03

  It's an opportunity to set, whereas I arrive in and I'm like, "Um, a point of information, uh, would you have a washer for a 2003 Campagnolo Super Record Rear Derailer?"

• 26:45Adam Buxton?

  And they think, "One of us, one of us."

• 26:50Speaker 03

  So, I think of it a lot if you're a very good chef, but you work in a chipper.

• 26:55Adam Buxton?

  Hmm.

• 26:55Speaker 03

  You know, I get that with bike shops, as in, these are people who would really enjoy trying to do high-end repairs, but yet everyone comes in with a puncture.

• 27:05Adam Buxton?

  Yes.

• 27:06Speaker 03

  Or, "My chain has fallen off."

• 27:10Adam Buxton?

  Yeah. No, I know what you mean. And they can't bear it. They're in it for the bike stuff, obviously, but you would think if you're gonna work in the service industry, which is essentially what they're doing, then you would take some pleasure from interacting with other humans. But they haven't thought through that bit at all, or at least they didn't use to.

• 27:27Speaker 03

  I think it's different now that you've got your chamois butter.

• 27:30Adam Buxton?

  Yes.

• 27:30Speaker 03

  Just go in there with that, fully lubed from head to toe, slide in across the floor.

• 27:38Adam Buxton?

  On my bottom.

• 27:39Speaker 03

  And they, see, for me, you know, I get very metaphysical when I start talking about bicycles. I still get on my bike in the drizzle at half nine in the morning, and I'm just like, "This shouldn't be happening."

• 27:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, and then you mix that in with 80s. My sporting heroes were cyclists who have, pretty much without exception, all been proven.

• 28:04Speaker 03

  Absolutely disgraced, yeah. But they were my first heroes and I love everything about, like, it's just burned into my brain, you know? In 1987, Ireland, by fluke and drugs, had the number one and number two professional cyclists in the world. And it's when I would have been 11, and so I decided to dedicate my life to becoming the next world champion.

• 28:31Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 28:32Speaker 03

  Like these guys. And I did, I dedicated myself to it for certainly a month. I remember once reading that Sean Kelly used to eat eight slices of toast in the morning. And so I started.

• 28:50Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 28:52Speaker 03

  An 11-year-old, slightly pudgy David. Like, my mother going like, "What are you doing?" And then, "That's what you have to do, these are the commitments." "Before I cycle the mile and a half to school, Mum, I need to massively carb load." And then, "Go into school, struggle through till small break, and then take a 15-minute shit as my body just tried to repel all of these sports nutrients that it didn't want."

• 29:26Adam Buxton?

  What's your favourite kind of bike pump?

• 29:30Speaker 03

  Well, I enjoy a track pump with a Presta valve on it.

• 29:34Adam Buxton?

  Okay.

• 30:11Speaker 03

  That is the exact pump that I was talking about. And for Presta Valve, read Skinny Prick then. Yeah.

• 30:18Adam Buxton?

  I didn't know it was called the Presta Valve.

• 30:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, there's a few different sorts of valves then. Yeah, I don't want to get into it in front of a muggle.

• 30:28Speaker 03

  That's a different podcast, that's Valve Chat.

• 30:32Speaker 04

  I took a trip down the river of time. I took a trip, took a trip down the river of time. I packed some things for my trip down the river of time. I packed some things for my trip down the river of time. I took a camping chair and a fancy camera so I could sit and take pictures from my chair of the river of time, of the river of time, time, time, time. I also made sure I had my laptop there so I could use my photo manipulation software and tweak the river of time, time, time, time. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the river of time.

• 31:16Speaker 04

  Do be do, the river of time. Ooh la la la, it's long and covered in slime. Ooh ee ooh, the river of time.

• 31:30Adam Buxton?

  Okay, here we are, we're in the dressing room at Vicar Street. And we're on our, on our break now. And we were just talking about the fact that it is, it is weird, like the change of gears that's required for, for the live podcast thing, especially when you're used to just sitting alone in a room.

• 31:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, and it is that thing, because people are listening to it on headphones. It's like the most intimate thing.

• 31:55Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 31:56Speaker 03

  So they want just you and someone else in their brain. But then they have a thousand other people.

• 32:03Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 32:04Speaker 03

  And it's all like, hey, whoa. But I- I hope we're doing a good job of not shouting too much.

• 32:10Adam Buxton?

  I think so, you know, I don't think, because this, also they're very warm, the audience.

• 32:14Speaker 03

  They're very nice, yeah. They're, do you think they might be the least tough audience? Like, I've seen Mastodon and people like that here. You know what I mean? Audiences that would really give, like, you know, I'd say, there's a thousand of your, of podcasts here.

• 32:31Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 32:32Speaker 03

  I'd say thirty of Queens of the Stone Age's audience, you know what I mean? Would take out, if it was a sort of a medieval war situation.

• 32:42Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 32:43Speaker 03

  My, my fear is that in a live situation, that the audience isn't mic'd.

• 32:48Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 32:49Speaker 03

  Because I recorded a gig recently, and that I was towards trying out new material, but I gave a little machine to the person operating the desk, so they just recorded the mic. And this was like a unidirectional Sennheiser mic, so all it's getting is you. So it's just a man appears to be just shouting on his own.

• 33:13Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 33:14Speaker 03

  Leaving pauses. And then the worst part was, if I try a new piece of material and it went well, I, I would make this sound like, I'd be like, uh, and, uh, and then, and maybe that's what it'll be like in the future. And there'd be a pause and I'd go like.

• 33:38Speaker 03

  It was some sort of.

• 33:40Adam Buxton?

  Have you never heard that before? You never, you've probably never heard yourself making those noises?

• 33:43Speaker 03

  The audience are.

• 33:44Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 33:45Speaker 03

  Laughing a lot and it, it's basically me saying, good man, Daddles. Or something.

• 33:54Speaker 03

  That can go on the show, mate.

• 33:59Adam Buxton?

  Little wimpers of pleasure.

• 34:02Speaker 03

  So this is the two half podcast as well.

• 34:06Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 34:07Speaker 03

  I mean, that's, that's a mammoth undertaking. What's the thinking there? We're going to go out in the second half.

• 34:11Adam Buxton?

  That was just something dictated by the venue. They wanted to, they just wanted to have it nice and long with a, with a booze break in the middle so that you sell some drinks. And I'm just like, yeah, okay, whatever.

• 34:22Adam Buxton?

  Cause I don't do very many live podcasts. And they invited me here and it's a lovely venue. We did the Bowie bug special.

• 34:29Speaker 03

  I was at it, yeah.

• 34:30Adam Buxton?

  That's right, you were.

• 34:30Speaker 03

  That was amazing.

• 34:31Adam Buxton?

  It's fun. And, and this, I mean, they're very, very warm audience.

• 34:35Speaker 03

  It's a famous venue. It, it acoustically, cause it's quite new. So it was designed by some famous acoustic.

• 34:43Adam Buxton?

  Oh, yeah.

• 34:43Speaker 03

  Uh, architect.

• 34:44Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 34:45Speaker 03

  And if you'll notice, the whole walls are coated in something that feels like hard shaving foam or something. So it's zero bounce.

• 34:53Adam Buxton?

  Oh, really?

• 34:54Speaker 03

  It's a real studio sound in it. So you get, I saw Neil Young here.

• 34:58Adam Buxton?

  Did you?

• 34:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, when he was doing a gig in an arena. He'd heard about this place and then did a.

• 35:05Adam Buxton?

  Yeah, cause he's a, he's a real kind of acoustics queen, isn't he?

• 35:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, absolutely. So that's probably why you chose this as well.

• 35:12Adam Buxton?

  Indeed.

• 35:13Speaker 03

  You're all about. I've heard some of your.

• 35:16Adam Buxton?

  Like the Sonics.

• 35:17Speaker 03

  Some of your podcasts where the main recording device breaks and it ends up being recorded by.

• 35:23Adam Buxton?

  It ends up being this one, this little guy that I've got here. I know, it's ludicrous.

• 35:30Speaker 03

  Thank you so much.

• 35:31Adam Buxton?

  Thank you so much.

• 35:32Speaker 04

  Enjoy.

• 35:32Adam Buxton?

  Yeah, cheers. That's Caroline. She works here at the venue and she's just supplied us with pints of booze.

• 35:38Speaker 03

  I mean, so now, have you ever done the podcast under the influence of booze?

• 35:44Adam Buxton?

  No, I'm, I mean, I'm, I'm, I find it hard enough just to form sentences when I'm absolutely straight. And I'm, I'm absolutely awful. I don't know what I'm doing having a pint now. I'm just thinking, whatever. But I'm no good. What about you? Are you funny when you're under the influence?

• 36:03Speaker 03

  No, and I start to slur words a little bit.

• 36:06Adam Buxton?

  Right.

• 36:07Speaker 03

  And I've never, I've never done a gig super duper hammered, but I'm certainly thinking I'll get away with this. And then just be slightly disappointed afterwards. Cause I tour with like Concord's and people like that.

• 36:22Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 36:23Speaker 03

  It's, it's not a rock and roll vibe. You know, the vibe with Concord's is get the road manager in here. I'm like, what tours can we do tomorrow morning?

• 36:32Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 36:33Speaker 03

  You know, is the Mary Rose going to be open?

• 36:35Adam Buxton?

  Oh, they want it right. They're getting as much as they can out of the experience.

• 36:39Speaker 03

  It's, uh, we sit around at the end, might eat a little bit of cheese back at the hotel. Then bed, let's try and get a solid eight hours.

• 36:47Adam Buxton?

  Uh huh.

• 36:48Speaker 03

  Then we'll go to Bletchley Park the next day.

• 36:50Adam Buxton?

  That sounds like Richard Iwaddy.

• 36:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, I can imagine.

• 36:53Adam Buxton?

  I did Travelman and he was very much like that, like in between and Crystal Maze as well. When I do that show, he's

• 36:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:59Adam Buxton?

  in between takes, he's reading Dostoevsky and nibbling on a carrot.

• 37:06Adam Buxton?

  I mean, literally.

• 37:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, people always ask you where the, where's the party tonight?

• 37:10Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 37:11Speaker 03

  As if like we've booked the top of some skyscraper in New York.

• 37:15Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 37:16Speaker 03

  And we will, they'll be dancing till six AM.

• 37:18Adam Buxton?

  Did you as a younger man ever go on a tour that was the opposite of that? That was a good old school blowout?

• 37:25Speaker 03

  I was friends with people in bands and used to tag along with them sometimes. So it was the start of the collapse of the music industry era where it was band with four people, two double beds in a travel lodge.

• 37:39Adam Buxton?

  Uh huh.

• 37:40Speaker 03

  Uh, everyone hating everyone and just going on the booze as much as to get to sleep. You know what I mean? Because you're staying in these incredibly grim places.

• 37:51Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 37:52Speaker 03

  I mean, the beauty of comedy is that, cause it's just you and a sports bag with a miniature keyboard in it. You can generally find someone to stay with. So that would have been my first few years. You know, I never, I think once or twice I did the, I stayed, went out partying with the audience to get the Ryanair flight at five forty five or whatever.

• 38:12Adam Buxton?

  Oh.

• 38:13Speaker 03

  But, uh, yeah, it's, it's, i- in a band, you, if you're the bass player and you're hanging the next day, you can sort of get away with it.

• 38:21Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 38:22Speaker 03

  You just can't in comedy at all. There's nowhere to hide whatsoever.

• 38:26Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 38:26Speaker 03

  And the audience also hate if you come out and go like, oh, hope we get away with this. I had a big one last night.

• 38:33Adam Buxton?

  Right, right, right.

• 38:34Speaker 03

  Piece of shit. We have paid fifteen quid for this.

• 38:38Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 38:39Speaker 03

  We want you at your absolute best.

• 38:40Adam Buxton?

  But what about in Melbourne? You must have done all those kinds of festivals where you go out to Australia. That sounds like a sort of non-stop party.

• 38:49Speaker 03

  I mean, there's a point at which a forty-two-year-old man, uh, has to.

• 38:56Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 38:56Speaker 03

  I can, I, I can basically, if I go out, I ask Doctor Showbiz to let me away with the next gig. And Doctor Showbiz is like, okay, fine. This once, you don't do this very often. You stayed out till whatever, daylight, but I'll help you with this gig.

• 39:15Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 39:15Speaker 03

  But then if you happen to go out again, you're like, Doctor Showbiz, I'm so sorry. Can I just get one more? And he's like, no. No, you can't.

• 39:23Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 39:23Speaker 03

  And you sweat, cold sweats, dying on stage and just general disappointment.

• 39:31Adam Buxton?

  Can you imagine how horrific it would be to actually have a real health crisis on stage? You'd feel like you were going mad. I mean, you'd be traumatized if you survived it. I always think of Bowie having a heart attack.

• 39:44Speaker 03

  During a gig?

• 39:45Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 39:46Speaker 03

  Did he?

• 39:46Adam Buxton?

  He did. Yeah, he collapsed in two thousand and four and he was playing really long shows around that time. That was the reason he retired.

• 39:54Speaker 03

  Wow. I've never had a heart attack, but I have puked myself during a gig in Aberdeen. The venue was a part-time cinema, the Lemon Tree in Aberdeen. And the pick and mix was to the side of the stage. It was sitting there in the sweets area and the mic extended over to us. So I was, you know, I'm a bad boy. So mid gig, I'm taking, in the first half, uh, taking handfuls of sweets and eating them.

• 40:23Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 40:23Speaker 03

  And like, this is such fun. This is incredible. And then either it was food poisoning from that, or maybe it was just some sort of toxic shock from six thousand cola bottles.

• 40:36Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 40:36Speaker 03

  Which either way, it's not a great rock and roll story. But I said, I think I might be about to puke to the audience. And the tech got a bucket at the side of the stage. And I got it across the audience that I, this isn't a bit. I am actually, there's a chance I'll puke. And then I was like, oh shit, here it comes. And I put the mic down and everyone cheered and there was silence. And the bucket was at the side of the stage. It was beside the offstage mic where you announce yourself on.

• 41:04Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 41:05Speaker 03

  So they would have got this like Lucas sound special effect of like, you know, the, imagine the sound of the puke hitting the bottom of the, like, so the audience cheered me off. This is sort of silence, hum hum. And then actual visceral like, ah.

• 41:23Adam Buxton?

  They probably thought you were playing a sound effect.

• 41:26Speaker 03

  We took a five minute break and I came back on and did a song at the end with puke down.

• 41:34Adam Buxton?

  No.

• 41:34Speaker 03

  T-shirts, got a standing ovation then.

• 41:36Adam Buxton?

  You're quite right.

• 41:37Speaker 03

  One of my only standing ovations ever.

• 41:39Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 41:39Speaker 03

  And it was in Aberdeen, they appreciate someone who's performing with.

• 41:44Adam Buxton?

  How long ago was that?

• 41:46Speaker 03

  It's about four years ago.

• 41:47Adam Buxton?

  Wow.

• 41:48Speaker 03

  That one, yeah. It's my go-to memory for Aberdeen still.

• 41:51Adam Buxton?

  It's quite a thing to see people puking on stage. You ever see that footage of Lady Gaga puking?

• 41:55Speaker 03

  No.

• 41:56Adam Buxton?

  It's pretty good. She's in the middle of a routine on stage, like very physical and um, and she just leans over and.

• 42:08Adam Buxton?

  It's just a column of vomit comes out, then she carries on high kicking and grooving around, and then she pukes again, I think. Have the audience definitely seen us? I would say. It's very clear what's happening. It's not like a little trickle or, oh, she spat. No, she is absolutely puking her guts out. It's really impressive.

• 42:29Adam Buxton?

  Um, right, now we should probably head back down again, I think.

• 43:05Speaker 03

  So my father was the musical director on The Late Late Show, which is this show that's still running today. So whoever was in Ireland would go on it. It was One Channel Ireland, everyone watched it. And I think in 1970 or 71, uh, this has all since been taped over by RTE. Dad played, in the same month, he played piano for Fred Astaire and he played Hammond with Bob Marley.

• 43:29Adam Buxton?

  No way!

• 43:31Speaker 03

  Yeah. So it was that era where you were just a music man.

• 43:36Adam Buxton?

  And Bob Marley what? He was just visiting on his own without the Wailers?

• 43:39Speaker 03

  No, but I think he was there, and in the same way that in Letterman, the house band would just, yeah, go on, let's give us some more sound, whatever you've got there. So, yeah, we'd just add in some bits then. So, yeah, it's a ridiculous career. You know, it's why I realise I'm so lucky doing this, like playing a fucking children's keyboard from 1986. Like, my father has this lifetime of study and expertise with the greatest musicians of all, and he does gigs upstairs in Arthur's Pub on Thomas Street to between 26 and 35 people.

• 44:19Adam Buxton?

  Those are the best gigs, though.

• 44:20Speaker 03

  They are the best gigs. They are actually the...

• 44:22Adam Buxton?

  I mean, aren't they? Aren't they the ones that you really file away and you think... That was a very purely happy moment. I think about gigs like that way more immediately than I think about going to see some band in a stadium or something like that.

• 44:36Speaker 03

  Yes, but they're not as financially.

• 44:39Adam Buxton?

  No.

• 44:41Adam Buxton?

  You don't sell quite so many t-shirts.

• 44:42Speaker 03

  When I'd be like, "Dad, can I get Nike basketball boots?" He'd be like, "Shut the fuck up, son. I'm working on an atonal piece for Seven Trumpets." I'd be like, "Oh, Dad."

• 44:55Adam Buxton?

  Was he doing all sort of avant-garde stuff?

• 44:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, he would have kind of gone through that whole era. I tweeted it recently. My father's first band was called The Memphis Five, but only three of them turned up for the photo. So it's this glorious picture where the drummers got Memphis Five. Like, Memphis? None of them had ever been to Memphis. And when they were 15... So Dad was born in 39, so this is, we're talking mid-50s. Like jazz, this is an era when, in this country, the government and the church were trying to ban jazz.

• 45:30Adam Buxton?

  What?

• 45:31Speaker 03

  Because it was gonna make people pregnant. Yeah, there's an amazing article you'll find on the Googlies called "The War on Jazz." And when Sean McEntee, he was a minister who said that jazz might be okay, after he died, and this is one of the coolest lines ever, I think McQuaid, the Archbishop of Dublin, said, "He was a man with the stain of jazz on his soul."

• 45:57Speaker 03

  "That is all I want. When I die, if someone will please say that."

• 46:03Adam Buxton?

  Are you sure he said jazz?

• 46:07Speaker 03

  It's one of the things to remember about Ireland, which has changed so much in the last, you know, 15 years, certainly, but very obviously has. But in fact, there was always weird shit going on. It was always just underground, you know? There was the incredible music scene in the 80s going on at a time when no one had a penny and you couldn't buy fucking rubber johnnys, you know what I mean?

• 46:31Adam Buxton?

  I mean, that's the thing is, you wouldn't necessarily choose to live in particularly repressive times, but there is always very interesting stuff going on in those times, that people pushing against that stuff and their subcultures forming that end up being very influential, you know?

• 46:45Speaker 03

  Yeah. Irish politics always reminds me of, "Do you ever take a shit in a portalo at a festival that's blocked?" But you go anyway. And as you leave, someone's coming in and you say, "It was pretty much like that when I went in." Like, that has been Irish politics for my whole life. And then, what's been fascinating in the last few years, you know, brought to a head with the two referendums, was that it wasn't political groups that got this through. You know, certainly some politicians helped, but it was mostly these tiny grassroots little movements. And it was people going, "This is bullshit. We have to change this."

• 47:28Speaker 03

  And talking to their friends, and their friends talking to the other friends. So there's a massive housing crisis here at the moment. And Parliament's not doing much to sort it out. So it's really interesting to see, like, 15,000 people fucking turn up on a Wednesday and disturb you in your dressing gown.

• 47:47Adam Buxton?

  David, it didn't ruin it at all.

• 47:51Adam Buxton?

  It was a wonderful moment for them and for me.

• 48:35Adam Buxton?

  So, music-wise, what's your wheelhouse? When you, if you... Okay, I've thought of a new idea for a show. Like, if you were, say, on, like, a desert island, and...

• 48:47Adam Buxton?

  And you were there for-

• 48:49Speaker 03

  Hang on, a dessert island, like, full of profiteerals?

• 48:53Adam Buxton?

  Yeah. Ice creams, Haagen-Dazs, and-

• 48:57Speaker 03

  Dessert island-ess.

• 48:58Adam Buxton?

  Dessert island-ess, exactly. It's just ice cream and caramel rocks.

• 49:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:06Adam Buxton?

  I'm not gonna carry on with this. Give us three albums that you would need that would sustain you out there.

• 49:11Speaker 03

  I mean, so we've got a serious issue here.

• 49:15Adam Buxton?

  Yeah.

• 49:16Speaker 03

  Which is, you don't wanna go too deep into jazz nerd odyssey here. But we'll go a little bit deep.

• 49:25Adam Buxton?

  Give us accessible jazz nerd.

• 49:26Speaker 03

  Oh, my god.

• 49:30Adam Buxton?

  Kind of Blue, Miles Davis. I mean, that is a good album.

• 49:34Speaker 03

  That's a beautiful album. I mean, I might go, what album do you pick to get people who-

• 49:40Adam Buxton?

  Yeah, to convert jazz doubters.

• 49:43Speaker 03

  I'm going to say, there's a Miles Davis record called Someday My Prince Will Come, which is the one before Kind of Blue. What's the Cannonball Adderley album called with Love For Sale and Autumn Leaves on it? Something Else by Cannonball Adderley. Yeah, it's the tune that-

• 50:05Speaker 03

  You might have heard that. That's the-

• 50:13Speaker 03

  I can't believe I've just played an excerpt from one of the greatest jazz albums of all time on a shit keyboard. But that'd be a big one. I mean, so I'm a massive Steely Dan-

• 50:24Adam Buxton?

  Yep.

• 50:25Speaker 03

  Every waking moment. The record of theirs called Katie Lied, that is one of my favorite things. One of my favorite lyrics ever is Bad Sneakers, which is the second song on that record. For me, the definitive Steely Dan lyric is at the start of that, which is, "Five names that I can hardly stand to hear, including yours and mine and one more chimp who isn't here." And it's just, like, that's a short story there. And then Brad Meldow record, there's any of the Art of the Trio series, they're incredible. I mean, they're in my top three, but Kirsty is gonna fade those down very early on. You know what I mean?

• 51:08Adam Buxton?

  Did you ever try and write serious songs, or were you always-

• 51:11Speaker 03

  How dare you?

• 51:15Speaker 03

  How very dare you.

• 51:17Adam Buxton?

  No, because with my Mickey Mouse psychology hat on, I would think that the son of a serious jazz musician,

• 51:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:27Adam Buxton?

  writing avant-garde pieces for 20 clarinets,

• 51:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:30Adam Buxton?

  would be thinking, hmm, either I'm gonna have to be as good or better than Dad.

• 51:35Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 51:35Adam Buxton?

  Or I'm gonna be silly.

• 51:38Speaker 03

  Yeah. I mean, Dad had another side to him, which was a comedy obsession. So Granny spent a lot of the year in Accle, so we would drive, it used to be a five, six hour drive, and it would always be with tapes of old goon shows or weird stand-up. There was people like Lord Buckley. There were all these American comedians who used to perform in jazz clubs.

• 52:01Adam Buxton?

  The Majesty is a policeman.

• 52:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:05Adam Buxton?

  That's Buckley, isn't it?

• 52:05Speaker 03

  Really, really odd stuff like that. And then that would have manifested itself from a stand-up point of view with Kevin McElheir, was probably of the new generation of Irish comedians, just absolutely fucking mind-blowing. Who did a routine on the British Saturday Night Live or Friday Night Live show, where he did a slideshow with pictures of owls that just seared itself

• 52:34Adam Buxton?

  I remember that, yeah.

• 52:36Speaker 03

  into my consciousness as

• 52:38Adam Buxton?

  Because it was hit and miss, that show, and he was one of the ones who was like, who's this guy?

• 52:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, and it was what the fuck is this sort of comedy? And he's Irish as well, like, whoa. Yeah, we'd always had Randy Newman and listened to a lot of that. A guy called Dave Frishberg, a few kind of forgotten, really smart, jazzy piano players with really funny, sometimes quite satirical songs. So my brother started taking me, around the time when I was trying to get into pubs when I was 17 or 18, we worked out that you could get into comedy gigs in the city, and they wouldn't try and ID you in this city. And this is a period when the comedy cellar in Dublin might be Dylan Moran, Arda O'Handlon, Barry Murphy, Tommy Tiernan.

• 53:24Speaker 03

  There's a line of Dylan Morons, the first time he went to a comedy gig in Dublin, he was expecting it to be shit, but it was like a Berlin cabaret in the 1930s. Someone would come on and kill a swan, someone else would play a chocolate piano.

• 53:39Speaker 03

  So that was the scene that from about the age of seventeen onwards, I was the absolute nerd guy sitting in the front of these gigs in front of forty people. And whoever the performer would be, would be like, "You again, I don't have any new material." And I'm like, "I don't mind, I'm trying to learn it off by heart."

• 54:04Speaker 03

  So my brother was a really out there comedian, my brother, the actor guy.

• 54:10Adam Buxton?

  Who did stuff with Barry Murphy?

• 54:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, would have crossed paths with you on Armando Iannucci's stuff.

• 54:15Adam Buxton?

  That's right, doing Time Trumpet.

• 54:16Speaker 03

  Doing Time Trumpet, yeah, yeah.

• 54:18Adam Buxton?

  They did that amazing series of sketches about Dragons' Den.

• 54:21Speaker 03

  They did Dragons' Den, and then here they would be known for a series called Soupy Norman.

• 54:27Adam Buxton?

  Oh my god.

• 54:28Speaker 03

  Which is...

• 54:28Adam Buxton?

  Soupy Norman is like one of the first examples that I can think of, of people taking, it's like found footage, so they took a Polish soap?

• 54:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was like the Polish Emmerdale. They got permission to use, I think, one episode, and it was quite ambiguous the permission, which was, "We're going to dub it, maybe with an emphasis on comedy." I don't know if the Polish Emmerdale didn't realise, they were going to rewrite it six different ways.

• 54:56Adam Buxton?

  So they created a totally new narrative, and they dubbed it so that it fitted pretty well with what the mouths of the actors were doing.

• 55:05Speaker 03

  Well, you won't like me to bring this up, but some of my favourite YouTube clips say I'm trying to woo a lady. I might bring up some of your work, your re-subtitling of The Songs of Praise.

• 55:20Adam Buxton?

  Oh yeah.

• 55:22Speaker 03

  Or your...

• 55:23Adam Buxton?

  Which was thanks to Armando Iannucci, who, he was, when we were doing Time Trumpet, or we were doing a earlier version of it, what turned into Time Trumpet, I think it was called 2004, The Stupid Version, we did originally, it was this thing for BBC Three.

• 55:38Speaker 03

  That's like the, you know, the Spanish name of Knight Rider.

• 55:42Adam Buxton?

  That's right, exactly, yes. Car which speaks and is exciting.

• 55:51Speaker 03

  The A-Team, yeah, in Portugal is called The Wonderful Gentleman.

• 55:59Speaker 03

  Brackets one of which does not like to fly.

• 56:01Adam Buxton?

  Yeah, that's right.

• 56:04Speaker 04

  The holiday horn, it goes do do do.

• 56:10Speaker 04

  Holiday time. Have a carrot, have two carrots.

• 56:16Speaker 04

  Go to the toilet, take your time. Holiday time.

• 56:22Adam Buxton?

  Both of us love music, and I think, I wonder if this is fair to say that both of us deep down would love to be able to write a serious song about fucking life, but make it beautiful and move people to tears with it. But I certainly, I'm not going to speak for you, I certainly don't seem to have it in me, so instead it comes out as these kind of wonky salvos.

• 56:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, we just listen to jazz music a lot and then kind of show tunes, those like insane internal rhymes of Cole Porter, like "When love congeals, it soon reveals the faint aroma of performing seals", like these impossibly incredible and just immediately realised I will never be able to do that, so I will go in a different direction.

• 57:06Adam Buxton?

  Uh huh.

• 57:09Adam Buxton?

  What's your favourite thing to sing now?

• 57:11Speaker 03

  I'll do a new song.

• 57:12Adam Buxton?

  Oh yeah, great.

• 57:14Speaker 03

  This is sort of about Dublin, yeah, this is, I don't know what this is about. Let's see how it goes.

• 57:30Speaker 03

  Walking along, it feels like I'm free. What's that sound? A cat purring in a tree. Hey, Mrs Cat, why you meowing like that? I say, talking to a cat, what am I like?

• 57:48Speaker 03

  She runs away, can't blame you, cat. On the night, I went out without my phone.

• 58:00Speaker 03

  I'm sitting on the bus, but I'm not looking down. I'm staring at the windows, seeing the lights of the town. This is my town, and tonight I feel part of it.

• 58:17Speaker 03

  Hearing conversation from the strangers beside. Karen got back with Liam when his mother died. Poor Karen. I hope she's not making a mistake. Also, sorry for your trouble, Liam.

• 58:35Speaker 03

  The guy behind me singing Eminem to himself, but the only words he knows for sure are "lose and yourself". This is chaos, this is life, but I bloody love it. Should always go out without my phone. I get to where I'm supposed to meet my friends. I'm half an hour early, but I'm happy to spend the time watching a bus girl. She's doing "The Boys Are Back in Town", and I'm like, "I'm the Boys",

• 59:10Speaker 03

  and this is town. And that is the greatest Irish rock song that's ever been written. And this is the best, this is the best version of it I've ever heard. And it's so good that I look down and like my feet are moving, like I am spontaneous. There's like six of us and we're all dancing. And I'm like, at the top of Graffin Street in the drizzle. I'm like, this never happens when you've got your mobile phone. And then I look over there and some prick is filming us on his yacht. Go fuck yourself.

• 59:40Speaker 03

  An hour later, my friends still aren't there. There must have been a change of plan along the way somewhere. Not to worry, I'll just go get some food of my own. I'll read my book, that's what I'll do. Read my book that I've downloaded to my bollocks.

• 1:00:03Speaker 03

  But the first restaurant's full and they recommend another place. But I can't find it 'cause I don't have maps. Tell you what I'll do. Get a pint, that's what I'll do. I'll go off, go to an old fella's pub. I'll get a pint of stout, I'll reconnect with the soul of this country. Then a guy comes up to me outside the pub. Says his coat's been robbed, asks if I can phone the cops. But I say, "Would you believe it?" "Tonight, I actually..." and he calls me a miserable bollocks.

• 1:00:38Speaker 03

  I'm sitting in the pub and this old fella comes over 'cause he says I look lonely. Starts telling me about his brother who lives in Tennessee. Says he can't come home 'cause he doesn't have a visa. And he misses him whenever Ireland have a match, they listen to it together on long wave. And even though they can't speak, they know they're both listening. I'm like, "This is so beautiful. This is what I needed right now." But then he moves on to how the country's full. There's no room for anybody else. We need a Trump to secure our borders. And you can't even tell who's Irish anymore. And what do the women want? What do the women want? And I, I wish I'd brought out my mobile phone.

• 1:01:26Speaker 03

  I can't even book a taxi to get the fuck out of there.

• 1:01:32Speaker 03

  Walking home in the rain.

• 1:01:38Speaker 03

  It's amazing how much more you notice the smell of piss when you can't listen to the Adam Buxton podcast.

• 1:01:50Speaker 03

  I get home, I've got 12 missed calls. My friends are like, "Where are you? You're missing the greatest night." They've started putting photos up on the WhatsApp group. My friends are waking up in, like, Auckland and Sydney and Buenos Aires and LA and New York. They're like, "Oh, it's nights like this that I wish I still lived in Ireland." I'm like, "To be honest, when you're actually here, it's something of a mixed bag."

• 1:02:20Speaker 03

  Like it's getting better. We're sorting it out. Year on year, it's getting a little bit. Give us a couple more years. I mean, it's alright. It's grand. It's absolutely grand. If you just remember to bring out your phone, but don't check it too much.

• 1:02:57Adam Buxton?

  While the audience was applauding, I was trying to think of something glib to say.

• 1:03:02Adam Buxton?

  But I think that's just such a great song. And it's funny as well, because I've been thinking for ages. I've been making notes on my phone, where I make all my notes for silly comedy things. I wanted to do a song about, sort of counterintuitive, about how much I love my phone, you know? Because obviously I'm aware of all the shit things about modern technology. And anyway, you've done it much better than me.

• 1:03:25Speaker 03

  Well, we both have friends who've done the worthy thing of get, I actually just use a Nokia, you know, for the weekends. And then put the SIM card into the smartphone for work or whatever the rest of the time. Which seems like a brilliant idea, but then you, like, suddenly you can't send a funny picture of two swans boning to that person.

• 1:03:46Adam Buxton?

  Would you be up for singing us one more song before we say goodnight?

• 1:03:51Speaker 03

  Alright.

• 1:03:56Speaker 03

  Oh, there's it.

• 1:04:00Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. They're good ones.

• 1:04:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's another one. Yeah, let me try and...

• 1:04:08Adam Buxton?

  Wank on a bike, was that? I don't know that one.

• 1:04:12Speaker 03

  I don't think I can do that. I think it might be my Elon Musk moment.

• 1:04:18Speaker 03

  In the, in the current climate,

• 1:04:21Speaker 03

  can't even take a wank while you're cycling along anymore. I mean,

• 1:04:26Speaker 03

  what has the world come to?

• 1:04:30Speaker 03

  I'll do this one. Okay, yeah, I've got a song. Hello. Eighteen-year-old me.

• 1:04:40Speaker 03

  This is you in the year 2018. And I'm here to tell you so much stuff about life, happiness, and love. David, David, take out your fucking headphones. What the fuck is that noise? This is you in the year 2018. Bullshit! If this is me in the future, tell me something about myself that only I would know. Before the mathematics state exam you took and you were 14 years old,

• 1:05:23Speaker 03

  you wrote the quadratic equation on your dick. And maths nerds in the room will realise something of a humble brag there. Thank you. To everyone else, it's not a short formula. Yeah, that may be true, but I bet a lot of people do that. Tell me something else about myself. You haven't lost your virginity yet, but you will next summer. Sweet! What's it like in the future? Future, but what's it like? No, I'm supposed to be giving you advi... I mean, I don't know. How do you describe the fut... Like, the stuff's different. You just feel the same. That's incredibly bleak. Here, what do I do in the future? Yeah?

• 1:06:08Speaker 03

  Did football work out? Did the football... Or my musician, like Dad? Did I make it in music? My ultimate dream? Did I become a musician? Fuck! No. You do comedy. Oh, that's not bad. Like, what do I do? Like, perfect one-liners? Like Mitch Hedberg or Steven Wright? Or like, or like Seinfeld? Real slick stuff in a suit. Come out like, ching, ching, ching. Absolutely not. You tried that for a while at the start, but you just don't have the right sort of brain to remember entire sentences. You do musical comedy? Oh, fuck! The lamest genre in all of comedy. Hang on, how do I do musical comedy?

• 1:06:53Speaker 03

  I can sing! Yeah, we've actually found a way around that. What you do is more like melodic shouting. Whether you're ever stepping a dog in the dark at the bottom of the stairs, the dogs are "Brrrr!" That's basically your career.

• 1:07:12Speaker 03

  Like, what sort of stuff do I do songs about? What would be an example of one of my songs? This wouldn't be a million miles from the sort of thing you might do a song about.

• 1:07:25Speaker 03

  What do I play? What instrument did I choose? From the pantheon of musical instruments? Do I play the guitar like Bill Bailey? Or a Steinway concert grand piano like Victor Borgo or Randy Newman? Which one did I choose? Ah, fuck.

• 1:07:48Speaker 03

  Do you know the shitty plastic keyboard in the attic you got for your confirmation? No, please. Are you honestly telling me when I'm 42 years old, I'll travel around with that piece of shit in an orange sports bag? You can't be serious.

• 1:08:08Speaker 03

  Fuck.

• 1:08:13Speaker 03

  Well, this is bleak. Anyway, what's this advice you've got for me? To be honest, I'm not really in the mood now. Keep practicing football, I suppose. Hang on, where are you going? I'm going up to the attic. I'm gonna smash up that keyboard. You can't do that. It's the number one rule of time travel.

• 1:08:37Adam Buxton?

  Hey, hey. David O'Doggy, ladies and gentlemen.

• 1:08:44Adam Buxton?

  Thank you so much, David.

• 1:08:48Adam Buxton?

  And thank you, podcasts.

• 1:08:57Speaker 03

  Wait. Continue.

• 1:09:09Adam Buxton?

  Hey, welcome back, podcasts. That was David O'Doherty back in October 2018 at the Dublin Podcast Festival at Vicar Street. Thank you very much to David and to everyone who came along that night. It was really fun. I'm glad. Finally, we've been able to share it with you. Apologies once again for the delay. There's a few very enjoyable performances from David in the description, if you follow the links, as well as links to a few other things we spoke about, including that Dragon's Den sketch with David's brother Mark Doherty and Barry Murphy and their amazing dubbed series Soupy Norman.

• 1:09:53Adam Buxton?

  You'll also find a link to an episode of Talk 90s To Me, Miranda Sawyer's highly entertaining 90s pop culture podcast, on which I appeared, talking all about the Adam and Joe Show. And of course, you can listen to that in audio-only form, but the link I've put in the description is actually for the YouTube filmed version, if you're someone that likes to watch podcasts and you want to see what colour Docker cap I'm wearing. Anyway, it was a fun chat with Miranda and I do encourage you not only to listen to other episodes of Talk 90s To Me, but I also recommend Miranda's book about Britpop, Common People, which I very much enjoyed as a music fan and a 90s survivor.

• 1:10:39Adam Buxton?

  Been stuffing a lot into my eyes this week. Squid Game, the challenge, which I enjoy watching with the family. I also watched with my wife the first couple of episodes of Pluribus, which is a sort of a sci-fi, high-concept thriller, comedy, drama thing, created by Vince Gilligan, who did Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul.

• 1:11:07Adam Buxton?

  And it's about a sort of space virus that turns the population of the world into a kind of single hive mind, a bit like the Borg from Star Trek: Next Generation, except they're really happy. They're not like the Borg who mainly into S and M and clubbing. Everyone in the world is assimilated into this hive mind, except for a tiny handful of people, including a misanthropic writer who is played by Rhea Seehorn. She played Kim Wechsler in Better Call Saul. I love Rhea Seehorn. She's a great actor.

• 1:11:48Adam Buxton?

  She's brilliant in this. She's called Rhea Seehorn. You need Apple TV to watch that. I also went to see The Running Man, the second film adaptation of a story by Stephen King. This one is very different to the 1987 version starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. Not one of my favourite Arnie films, I have to admit. This new one is directed by, I'm sure many of you know, Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz and Baby Driver director, Cornballs collaborator, friend of mine and the podcast Edgar Wright. So perhaps I can't be trusted for a totally impartial assessment, but I really enjoyed it. If you're not familiar with the story,

• 1:12:32Adam Buxton?

  you're dealing with a sci-fi action romp set in everyone's favourite place, the dystopian future, where big budget reality entertainment shows exploit extreme wealth inequality to recruit members of the public for a show that is basically like Hunted on Channel Four, in which contestants are out in the world doing all they can to evade a team of hunters. Except in The Running Man, if you're caught, you get killed and they show it in the programme, which I don't think they do on Channel Four currently. Edgar's version stars Glenn Powell. You know Glenn. He's got very white teeth

• 1:13:15Adam Buxton?

  and a really lovely toned but very welcoming tummy that I would gladly rest my face on. You would have seen him in Top Gun: Maverick and Twisters. In The Running Man, he plays a husband and father trying to get hold of money so he can get some medical treatment for his sick daughter. He just wants to help his sick daughter, so he has to take on a sick society. And reluctantly, he becomes a contestant on The Running Man, and along the way, he gets into some very entertaining fights. Massive explosions, crashing cars and planes, battles with Josh Brolin, who plays the show's unscrupulous, deep fake-using

• 1:14:00Adam Buxton?

  producer. Lot of resonant current themes rattling around this film. You've got a great supporting cast, including Michael Cera, Emilia Jones, Cat O'Brien, and even friend of the podcast, Emma Siddey. Yeah, she appears in some spoofs of a Kardashian-style reality show that play in the background of a couple of scenes. In fact, as you'd expect from Edgar, there's quite a few funny moments in the film that reminded me of some of the media satires that Paul Verhoeven would incorporate into his films, like RoboCop and Starship Troopers. And there's also, design-wise,

• 1:14:41Adam Buxton?

  looks great, the film, but it has a similar kind of brutalist architectural sense, I thought, to some of Total Recall. That was one of the Arnie films that we really enjoyed back in the day. Anyway, The Running Man is out, and it's good fun. All right, that's it for this week. Thank you very much indeed to Seamus Murphy Mitchell for his production support. Thanks to Helen Green, she does the beautiful artwork for this podcast. Thanks to everyone who worked so hard at Acast for liaising with my sponsors, but thanks most of all to you. Thanks for coming back. Hey, come over here. Good to see you. Till next time, we share the same aural space.

• 1:15:26Adam Buxton?

  Go carefully out there, and for what it's worth, I love you. Bye.

• 1:15:36Speaker 04

  Like and subscribe, like and subscribe, like and subscribe, please like and subscribe. Gimme like a smile and a thumbs up, I shake a pan where me bums up. Gimme like a smile and a thumbs up, I shake a pan where me bums up. Like and subscribe, like and subscribe, like and subscribe, please like and subscribe. Gimme like a smile and a thumbs up, I shake a pan where me bums up. Gimme like a smile and a thumbs up, I shake a pan where me bums up. Like and subscribe, like and subscribe, like and subscribe, please like and subscribe.