You Have To Be Kind To Yourself

There’s no question that much of what we talk about in this philosophy is hard. Specifically, it’s hard on the person practicing it. Stoicism asks you to challenge yourself. It doesn’t tolerate sloppy thinking or half measures. It wants you to undergo deprivation, it asks you to look in the mirror and examine your flaws. But it’s important that we don’t mistake all this with self-flagellation and a lack of self-esteem. The early Stoic Cleanthes once overheard a philosopher speaking unkindly to himself when he thought no one was listening. Cleanthes stopped him and reminded him: “You aren’t talking to a bad man.” One of the most beautiful passages in Seneca’s letters is the one where he talks to Lucilius about how he was learning to be his own friend. He wrote that as a very old man. He was still working, even then, on being kinder to himself. The same man who was so hard on himself—practicing poverty and diving into freezing rivers—wanted to make sure that he was also loving himself like a good friend. Are you doing the same? Do you know that you’re a good person? Are you your own friend? There is a line in a great song by The Head and The Heart about this:Until you learn to love yourselfThe door is locked to someone elseIt’s true. It’s also locked to wisdom. The point of this philosophy we are writing and talking about is not self-punishment, it’s self-improvement. Nobody improves for a teacher that loathes them. No one trusts someone that is out to hurt them. Forget cutting yourself a break today. Instead, just be kind. Be your own friend. Catalog some of your strengths. Smile at all the progress you’ve made. Tell yourself, “good job.” And then promise that you’re going to keep going and keep working because you know you’re worth it. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. 📢 Share | ⚙️ Manage Subscription

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:06Ryan Holiday?

  Welcome to The Daily Stoic, where each day we read a short passage designed to help you cultivate the strength, insight, wisdom necessary for living the good life. Each one of these passages is based on the 2,000-year-old philosophy that has guided some of history's greatest men and women. For more, you can visit us at dailystoic.com.

• 0:29Ryan Holiday?

  You have to be kind to yourself. There's no question that much of what we talk about in this philosophy is hard. Specifically, it's hard on the person practicing it. Stoicism asks you to challenge yourself. It doesn't tolerate sloppy thinking or half-measures. It wants you to undergo deprivation. It asks you to look in the mirror and examine your flaws. But it's important that we don't mistake all this with self-flagellation or a lack of self-esteem. The early Stoic Cleanthes once overheard a philosopher speaking unkindly to himself when he thought no one was listening. Cleanthes stopped him and reminded him, "You aren't talking to a bad man." One of the most beautiful passages in Seneca's letters

• 1:13Ryan Holiday?

  is the one where he talks to Lucilius about how he was learning to be his own friend. He wrote that as a very old man. He was still working, even then, on being nicer to himself. The same man who was so hard on himself, practicing poverty and diving into freezing rivers, wanted to make sure he was also loving himself like a good friend. Are you doing the same? Do you know that you're a good person? Are you your own friend? There's a line in a great song by The Head and the Heart, "Until you learn to love yourself, the door is locked to someone else." It's true. It's also locked to wisdom. The point of this philosophy we are writing and talking about is not self-punishment. It's self-improvement.

• 1:58Ryan Holiday?

  Nobody improves for a teacher that loathes them. No one trusts someone that is out to hurt them. Forget cutting yourself a break today. Instead, just be kind. Be your own friend. Catalog some of your strengths. Smile at all the progress you've made. Tell yourself, "Good job." And then promise you are going to keep going and keep working because you know that you're worth it. Hey everyone. We've seen how much you've loved the Daily Stoic Challenges, and so we released a new product that will help you challenge yourself all year round. It's the Daily Stoic Challenge Deck. It's got 30 days of challenges, physical cards, and an awesome box that'll test your strength, your willpower, and help you become a better you.

• 2:42Ryan Holiday?

  Each challenge card comes with a great Stoic quote and a cool picture. We know you're gonna love it. You can buy the Daily Stoic Challenge Deck now at dailystoic.com/store.