"Nick Kroll"

Let’s take a run: it’s Nick Kroll. Celebrity scavenger hunts, fuse mechanism protocol, and how to aim for a B-minus across the board. The gum IS as good as it sounds… on an all new ChewLess (otherwise known as SmartLess).

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Sean Hayes?

  This episode of Smartless is sponsored by Google Book. So this may not surprise you, I have a lot of thoughts in my head. And my dream is to just blurt them out and somehow get them down on paper, because my brain works way faster than my hands. That's where Google Book comes in. It's a whole new kind of laptop. No more typing, you just talk, and the Rambler feature cleans up your ums and uhs and all the times you change your mind. Basically, it turns messy thoughts into tidy text. Visit googlebook.com for details. Available in select countries and languages to 18-plus users. Check the responses for accuracy.

• 0:43Sean Hayes?

  Instagram teen accounts have automatic protections on by default. Built-in content settings for the content teens can see, contact limits for who can contact them, and time management tools like daily time limits and sleep mode. Teens are automatically placed into teen accounts, and teens under 16 will need a parent's permission to change any of these settings to be less strict. Instagram will continue adding built-in safety features to help create age-appropriate experiences. Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at instagram.com/teenaccounts.

• 1:25Sean Hayes?

  Did you ever notice the best deals are just obvious? Like hotels.com. What do they do, you may ask? Hotels on the internet. And a lot of them, like hundreds of thousands. I don't know why I just turned into Sean Hayes. Plus, if you join for free, you can save up to 20% instantly with member prices, and you earn rewards every time you book. So your next trip basically starts paying for itself. It's simple, and you get more out of every stay. Sign up for free and book today. Hotels.com. It's all in the name.

• 2:06Sean Hayes?

  The place you call home is important to you. So it's important to Allstate. Because home is where you make all your memories. Things like inviting your friends over for game night and discovering that one of them takes charades way, way too seriously. It's these memories that make a house feel like home. If it's important to you, it's important to Allstate. Switch to Allstate and you could save hundreds on home insurance today. Not available in every state. Potential savings vary, subject to terms and qualifications. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 2:47Jason Bateman?

  Well, good day.

• 2:49Sean Hayes?

  Good day.

• 2:49Will Arnett?

  Guess my age.

• 2:51Jason Bateman?

  Fifty-nine. Fifty-nine?

• 2:52Sean Hayes?

  Sixty-two.

• 2:53Will Arnett?

  What the hell? No, but be real.

• 2:56Jason Bateman?

  No, really, I actually, what are you? I'm fifty-seven. I think you're fifty. You've always been a year younger, right? Or are you still, or did you pass me?

• 3:04Will Arnett?

  No, no, no.

• 3:05Jason Bateman?

  It looks like you, I think you passed me.

• 3:07Will Arnett?

  What?

• 3:08Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 3:08Will Arnett?

  Oh, God, this backfired so much. Welcome to Smartless.

• 3:30Jason Bateman?

  Hi, guys. Hi.

• 3:31Will Arnett?

  Oh, hi.

• 3:31Jason Bateman?

  Where are you going? I'm just finishing up a text here and sending. Okay. Wonderful.

• 3:37Will Arnett?

  Oh, good, good, good, good.

• 3:39Jason Bateman?

  Now I'm back with you. I'm glad you could show up today.

• 3:42Will Arnett?

  And JB, we're having a little bit of an earlier start today. So I'm imagining your morning, because I know you bake in two hours. Baseball season is on. So you're active on the trade front. You're managing your various leagues.

• 3:54Jason Bateman?

  Well, I've fast-forwarded through the final six innings of last night's game.

• 4:00Will Arnett?

  Right, right, sorry.

• 4:01Jason Bateman?

  You tape the games?

• 4:02Will Arnett?

  Every night.

• 4:03Jason Bateman?

  Every one of them. I watch every single.

• 4:04Will Arnett?

  And he watches them at like 5 a.m.

• 4:06Sean Hayes?

  Why don't you watch them live?

• 4:07Jason Bateman?

  Well, I, I, I, I don't, I just don't get them done before I go to sleep. Um, and so I finish them up the next morning. It helps me get out of bed. I've got the rest of the game to watch. That's a reason to wake up in the morning.

• 4:16Sean Hayes?

  Okay, so let me ask you a question. Do you fast forward in between each play?

• 4:19Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, I wait until at least one runner's on base. Preferably, I like to get somebody to get to second base before I go to.

• 4:25Sean Hayes?

  I watch Wheel of Fortune the same way. Not even kidding. I'll fast forward through the picking of the letters until they get the, the, the puzzle kind of halfway done.

• 4:33Jason Bateman?

  Until it's something that you can figure out?

• 4:34Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 4:35Jason Bateman?

  Uh huh.

• 4:36Will Arnett?

  Sean, and does anybody ever get, like, get one, guess one so early that you just? It surprises you so much that you, that you, like, you have a mistake with the, with the canned cheese? Like, does it go all over your hand at that point? Like, oh, shh.

• 4:51Jason Bateman?

  Or do you ever, like, point it to your temple, like, as if you're trying to kill yourself, you know? And you just squeeze it all over the side of your face?

• 4:58Sean Hayes?

  Like, like, what is it called? Cheese whiz?

• 5:00Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, that's it.

• 5:01Will Arnett?

  Cheese whiz. So, so JB, so, so I know JB does a bake-in, so he bakes in the time. So bacon is Dodger game speed through, right?

• 5:09Sean Hayes?

  And then as soon as it's over, and not before, I then go to my scores, my, my points, how many points I've accrued on my fantasy baseball.

• 5:16Will Arnett?

  Coffee, coffee is accompanying all of this?

• 5:18Sean Hayes?

  Coffee's very first.

• 5:20Will Arnett?

  Very first, very first.

• 5:21Sean Hayes?

  I need to light the fuse.

• 5:22Will Arnett?

  Sure.

• 5:23Sean Hayes?

  And it needs a long fuse, so it needs time to burn down into the dynamite.

• 5:27Will Arnett?

  For the bomb.

• 5:27Sean Hayes?

  For the bomb. You need to light the fuse with coffee. I know, that's why I don't drink coffee, because I don't want to be dependent on it.

• 5:34Jason Bateman?

  Well, it's not that bad to depend on, you know, like, you got a half hour tick tock until the dynamite gets hit. And then off you go.

• 5:46Jason Bateman?

  You know, because if you don't have a fuse mechanism, you could find yourself leaving for your day. And then you're out in the middle of the community and, um, and.

• 5:57Will Arnett?

  The community, and you know what the community?

• 5:58Sean Hayes?

  You smell something burning and you, you know, you gotta get to a bunker.

• 6:02Jason Bateman?

  Sure, I understand.

• 6:03Will Arnett?

  So, so.

• 6:06Jason Bateman?

  And that's unfortunate. All right, so we're back to baseball. I check my scores.

• 6:10Will Arnett?

  Check your scores.

• 6:11Jason Bateman?

  And then, um, and then I start doing my loop around the internet. And, um, it's pretty, it's a pretty highbrow loop. You know, Will, I'm not dicking around with gossip sites. Yeah, yeah, I'm seeing what's going on in, uh, in the dumpster fire.

• 6:26Will Arnett?

  And actually, it's funny you say that. So this morning I had that same thing where I woke up and I did, I did my little, my games with my little crew. Coffee, obviously accompanying it, and then.

• 6:35Jason Bateman?

  Oh, right, so, yeah, so you're, you're, you're baking.

• 6:38Will Arnett?

  I'm still in that old.

• 6:39Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, so he's still doing Wordle, Quirle, and Octurle.

• 6:42Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 6:43Jason Bateman?

  Uh huh, so that takes you, um, and the gum is as good as it sounds? Sorry, just checking real quick. So you're, what, what, um, how long does it take you usually to do those three things? 20 minutes?

• 6:59Will Arnett?

  It depends, because the way we play it is, the winner from the day before picks the starter word that you have to use for all three, uh, boards the next day.

• 7:07Jason Bateman?

  They've really mixed it up. So wait, what happens? Yesterday's winner picks the starter word.

• 7:12Will Arnett?

  The starter word that you have to use on all three boards the next day.

• 7:15Jason Bateman?

  Oh, really?

• 7:16Will Arnett?

  Yeah, so today's word was sadly.

• 7:19Jason Bateman?

  Uh huh, yeah, they always get you with an L Y.

• 7:22Will Arnett?

  And, and like, and, you know, certain people like will pick dicky words to fuck you over, and it fucks themselves over too.

• 7:29Jason Bateman?

  Sure, and then a dicky word would be something that doesn't really provide a lot of vowels or a lot of consonants.

• 7:35Will Arnett?

  On Easter, on Easter, our pal put in bunny.

• 7:39Jason Bateman?

  Sure.

• 7:39Will Arnett?

  Okay, from the night before, and it was like, it's festive, but B U N N Y is a desert when it comes to that game. So it really messed us up. So today, so you, so I do that, get that wrapped up, and then, uh.

• 7:53Jason Bateman?

  How'd you do today? You feel good about your score?

• 7:55Will Arnett?

  No, I did, I made a, I made a really.

• 7:57Jason Bateman?

  Here we go, Sean, this is why I don't play anymore.

• 7:59Will Arnett?

  Well, here, here was interesting, the day, the word from yesterday was sadly, and this morning it was a word on Octurle, so we all had a one.

• 8:09Jason Bateman?

  Oh, really?

• 8:11Will Arnett?

  Which is rare, yeah, and so, and then I was like, oh, I'm killing it, and I made one error on the third word in Octurle.

• 8:18Jason Bateman?

  Good, Sean, get him. Um, what was your, what was your error, you fucking moron?

• 8:25Will Arnett?

  I don't even want to go into it. I actually, this is what a loser am, I audibly went, no!

• 8:32Will Arnett?

  Because the letter was already not supposed to be there and I did it, I had like a brain.

• 8:36Jason Bateman?

  Incredible.

• 8:37Will Arnett?

  Fucking, anyway. Uh, but what I was gonna get to is I, then I turned on the news, I looked at some of the news online. You know, did a little search around, same sort of thing.

• 8:47Will Arnett?

  And it was such a bummer. And I thought to myself, and it's not the first time, I thought, why am I starting myself out in a rut?

• 8:55Jason Bateman?

  Mm-hmm.

• 8:56Will Arnett?

  I gotta, now I gotta rally to die at this point, I'm so low.

• 8:59Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 8:59Will Arnett?

  I'm so, because the news is, as we know, so much of it is so depressing and so, and, and I thought, by the time I stopped looking at New York Times, Bloomberg, Washington Post, all these, I, I thought, wow, what's the point?

• 9:14Jason Bateman?

  Right.

• 9:14Will Arnett?

  I guess all.

• 9:15Jason Bateman?

  So then what's the, the alternative is, is, is maybe tweaking your algorithm such?

• 9:20Will Arnett?

  Or just not, or not looking like?

• 9:22Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, but what if you go to Instagram and it's, and you've, you've managed to get the algorithm pointed towards, you know, unicorns and, and rainbows and stuff, and you get uplifting messages and all that stuff?

• 9:31Will Arnett?

  Sure, I think that that's positive, for sure. But I think that actually what I, what I came to today was, I talked to Shawnee earlier, uh, after I got off the thing, and I talked to him, we talked about stuff and it kind of, that was good, it was a palate cleanser. And then I was like, you know what, I, I, I think from now on I should play my game, put my, my three games.

• 9:49Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 9:49Will Arnett?

  Put the phone down.

• 9:50Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 9:51Will Arnett?

  And do some, go outside, like, two days ago, because I was still at Jetlag, I started my little walk that you've done with me before a little bit. I, I started at 6:15.

• 10:00Jason Bateman?

  This is with the ankle weights, wrist weights, uh, leg warmers and the weighted vest?

• 10:05Will Arnett?

  Weighted vest.

• 10:06Jason Bateman?

  And high elbows, right, as you're going up the hills?

• 10:08Will Arnett?

  Weighted vest.

• 10:10Jason Bateman?

  Fuck.

• 10:10Will Arnett?

  Weighted vest with, with, with a, with a visor and spiky hair.

• 10:16Jason Bateman?

  And you do one of, one of the, uh, sort of a face shield, one of those droopy, um, masks to keep the sun off your skin?

• 10:21Will Arnett?

  No, I've got, I've got pharmacy, like, Florida sunglasses you can put over your glasses, full around. Okay? I got Walkman headphones.

• 10:29Jason Bateman?

  Any sort of reflective material on your back so you don't get run over?

• 10:32Will Arnett?

  No, no. Full sleeves, full sleeves.

• 10:39Jason Bateman?

  Lots of waves to passing cars?

• 10:41Will Arnett?

  Speaking of walking, last, yeah. But, to wrap it up, I think that that's the way, because I, I feel like I was starting in this.

• 10:47Jason Bateman?

  Why don't you try meditation? Have you ever tried meditation?

• 10:49Will Arnett?

  I have, I'd like to do, I'd like to do it more.

• 10:51Jason Bateman?

  Shutting the fuck up, did you ever try that? How about that, huh? Let's get to the guest. Thank you, Sean. What do you got for us today?

• 10:57Sean Hayes?

  Wait, really quick, I ran, speaking of walking last night-

• 11:00Will Arnett?

  Did I go on too much?

• 11:01Sean Hayes?

  No, you didn't. Um, last night I was walking and, uh, I ran into, you know what a bollard is? One of those cement stoppers at the end of a street or a sidewalk?

• 11:12Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 11:13Sean Hayes?

  And it was like, no, oh god, I ran-

• 11:14Will Arnett?

  You walked into it?

• 11:15Sean Hayes?

  Yes.

• 11:16Jason Bateman?

  Oh, you're talking about something that's about NARD height, right?

• 11:19Sean Hayes?

  Yes, exactly. It's just a little higher than a fire hydrant. And it was painted black.

• 11:23Jason Bateman?

  Okay.

• 11:23Sean Hayes?

  Why do they have them on the corner of a sidewalk?

• 11:25Will Arnett?

  So that people don't drive up-

• 11:27Jason Bateman?

  Sounds like you're Upper East Side. It sounds, I know those black balls-

• 11:30Sean Hayes?

  No, no, it's after I ate at the Waverly Inn restaurant.

• 11:33Jason Bateman?

  Oh, south there. Um, so did you catch it right in the Nards?

• 11:36Sean Hayes?

  Uh, no, right above the knee and I couldn't, oh man.

• 11:39Will Arnett?

  That kinda hurt. Did you, did you call Grayden Carter, uh, for a reservation?

• 11:43Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 11:44Will Arnett?

  You did?

• 11:44Sean Hayes?

  Yeah. No, no, no, no.

• 11:46Will Arnett?

  Oh, you did?

• 11:46Sean Hayes?

  No, no, I-

• 11:47Jason Bateman?

  Did Scotty throw you over his shoulder and walk you home?

• 11:49Sean Hayes?

  Basically, it was right in front, it was right in front of a taxi and we were saying goodbye and I was like, I ran right into the thing with my whole leg.

• 11:57Will Arnett?

  Okay.

• 11:57Sean Hayes?

  And I'm just like-

• 11:58Will Arnett?

  Did we run?

• 11:58Sean Hayes?

  Great time. No, I just walked right into it.

• 12:01Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 12:01Sean Hayes?

  No. Alright, let's get to it. Ready?

• 12:04Will Arnett?

  What's your step count a day? I'm guessing 400? Sorry.

• 12:08Sean Hayes?

  My guest today accidentally taught his two-year-old son to say, "I'm a coward", which made me laugh when I read that. He went to Georgetown and majored in history. His father's job included tracking the hidden fortunes of dictators. After bombing at his first college comedy competition, the guy that won invited him to audition for a sketch show and that changed the course of his life. He's voiced about 80 animated characters, for real, and the kid he met on the first day of first grade became his best friend and creative partner, helping turn their own humiliating stories about puberty into one of Netflix's longest-running scripted originals. It's the insanely funny and super talented Nick Kroll.

• 12:46Jason Bateman?

  Oh, Nick!

• 12:47Will Arnett?

  Nicholas Kroll.

• 12:48Jason Bateman?

  Get out here!

• 12:49Speaker 03

  Hey, boys.

• 12:50Will Arnett?

  Nicholas!

• 12:51Speaker 03

  Oh, he's gonna take, he's gonna take it down. I have not spoken yet today and I'm listening to my voice and I, that was like the first thing I've said all day.

• 13:00Jason Bateman?

  Wouldn't it, wouldn't it be amazing if we all, wouldn't it be amazing if we all had a, had a word limit each day? Like if every person-

• 13:08Will Arnett?

  For you it would be, yeah.

• 13:09Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, hey. But could you imagine if you had to budget out your words for the day? That would be pretty interesting.

• 13:15Will Arnett?

  I'd imagine, huh?

• 13:16Jason Bateman?

  Welcome, Nick.

• 13:17Will Arnett?

  Boy, you come up with some fun ideas.

• 13:20Sean Hayes?

  Nick, you are east coast, because you've already got a smart looking jacket on.

• 13:24Speaker 03

  I'm on the west coast. I was debating on taking the jacket off before, but I'm dealing with what you guys are seeing is this center stage video where I'm gonna be constantly, the camera's gonna be following me.

• 13:35Sean Hayes?

  You can turn that off.

• 13:36Will Arnett?

  You can turn it off if you want.

• 13:37Speaker 03

  I know I can. I can't figure out how, but I'm gonna figure it out.

• 13:41Sean Hayes?

  You look so damn good already this one.

• 13:42Will Arnett?

  You got a chore jacket on?

• 13:43Sean Hayes?

  Did you have a callback earlier?

• 13:46Speaker 03

  I got, uh, yeah. It's a Lipton cup of soup. It's a 3pm slump.

• 13:50Sean Hayes?

  And did you crush it?

• 13:52Speaker 03

  I felt good. I felt really good in the room.

• 13:56Sean Hayes?

  Any feedback yet?

• 13:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, supposedly they wanted a better looking and older though.

• 14:02Sean Hayes?

  Oh, you are in the running in case they can't find you.

• 14:05Will Arnett?

  Oh.

• 14:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, so you guys are honestly good candidates.

• 14:10Will Arnett?

  We're the demo. We're that.

• 14:13Speaker 03

  Telsey's calling, guys.

• 14:16Will Arnett?

  Nick Kroll, what's up, man? It's been a long time. How are you?

• 14:20Speaker 03

  I'm great. It's really good to see you guys.

• 14:22Sean Hayes?

  Likewise.

• 14:23Jason Bateman?

  Good to see you.

• 14:24Sean Hayes?

  Nick, the first time I met you was, I think, was at Ted Sarandos's a couple of years ago at the Grammy dinner thing.

• 14:31Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 14:31Sean Hayes?

  Right?

• 14:32Jason Bateman?

  What were you two doing at a Grammy dinner?

• 14:33Will Arnett?

  At the Grammy, yeah.

• 14:34Sean Hayes?

  It was like, it was like for the comedy category.

• 14:37Speaker 03

  And we were doing a duet. It was a Bette Midler and Barry Manilow thing, and they had us play for a few minutes.

• 14:42Jason Bateman?

  Who played Bette?

• 14:42Sean Hayes?

  Right, right. No, but I, you were so kind and I felt, I immediately felt this like rhythm with you and I was like, oh, I'd love to get to know you more.

• 14:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:51Will Arnett?

  There we go.

• 14:54Will Arnett?

  Fucking, this is unbelievable. Every time I felt a connection with you. Let me get, put your number in the chat. Fucking, are you joking?

• 15:02Speaker 03

  Come on the pod. You should come on the podcast sometime.

• 15:05Will Arnett?

  Let's go from lunch and wrap up how we think we did. I'm close by.

• 15:11Speaker 03

  What's your story later? Cause you should come on the pod. The boys let me make the choices on this all the time.

• 15:19Will Arnett?

  You're so, you're so smart and funny and handsome and.

• 15:24Speaker 03

  Let's go on a run. You wanna go for a run?

• 15:27Jason Bateman?

  Let's go on a run.

• 15:27Will Arnett?

  Wait, let's go on a run.

• 15:31Will Arnett?

  Wait, wait, wait. So that was the first time that you guys had met?

• 15:34Speaker 03

  I actually met you many, many, many years earlier. There was a guy who used to do like treasure hunts around LA.

• 15:42Jason Bateman?

  Oh, yes. JP Manu.

• 15:44Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 15:45Jason Bateman?

  Are you talking about the LARF?

• 15:47Speaker 03

  I don't know if that's what it was.

• 15:49Jason Bateman?

  No, it was before Amazing Race.

• 15:50Will Arnett?

  I remember that.

• 15:51Jason Bateman?

  And it was, it was just like the Amazing Race. And this guy organized just a bunch of people to go do this around Los Angeles. It was really fun.

• 15:59Speaker 03

  Yeah. So I, you were there and you like, I was just sort of starting and you were one of the most famous people in the world.

• 16:08Jason Bateman?

  In that group of five.

• 16:09Speaker 03

  So I saw you and I said, one day they're gonna make podcasts and I'm gonna hit on him at Ted Sarandos's party.

• 16:18Will Arnett?

  Wait a second. You're skipping over that you predicted podcasts. Why? That's just.

• 16:25Speaker 03

  No, but we had to get to Madame Tussauds to find.

• 16:29Jason Bateman?

  That's true. That's true. Why have those gone? Oh, wait. So.

• 16:32Will Arnett?

  JB, do you remember in the nineties, they, they, these guys had a game going for a while.

• 16:36Jason Bateman?

  It was called LARF and they were both out of Stanford.

• 16:38Will Arnett?

  There was one, no, there was another one where we went around and everybody had a, you had a squirt gun. And it was like a game of tag around LA.

• 16:45Jason Bateman?

  I did that as a kid. My daughter does that as senior assassin.

• 16:49Will Arnett?

  All these actors, when we were in our twenties in the nineties in LA, remember being out here for pilot season, mid nineties, and somebody's saying, do you wanna get in this thing? And people would be like at an audition at Warner Brothers and some dude would come out of nowhere and spray him and like.

• 17:04Jason Bateman?

  You're in.

• 17:04Will Arnett?

  And I was like, can you imagine walking onto a lot now with a, with a water gun?

• 17:08Jason Bateman?

  So, so at, at Franny's school, so it's senior assassin, the, if you get hit with a, with a water gun, you're out. And the only way that you can sort of protect yourself, inoculate yourself. From getting some sort of a surprise hit is wearing swim goggles out in public all day, every day, or swim floaties. So you see like these students are all around town, you know, like markets and shopping. That's really funny. It's pretty, it's pretty cool. But the scavenger hunts things, these high end scavenger hunts, I'm pissed that they've gone away. We should resurrect that. Let's do it. Yeah.

• 17:42Will Arnett?

  Celebrity scavenger hunt. Let's do it, guys. You guys have a lot of free time. Do you want to start getting into? Let's do organizing local city trash scavenger hunts.

• 17:54Jason Bateman?

  I'm gonna organize it.

• 17:55Sean Hayes?

  Nick Kroll, let's get into it. You, you, first of all, thanks for being here. And, and I did, I did mean that. It just felt like a comedy connection with you. You were very funny right off the bat, and I felt like I'd known you, but anyway.

• 18:06Jason Bateman?

  He's a nice guy and he's funny. What's not to get a rhythm with?

• 18:10Sean Hayes?

  So wait, is that true? Eighty voices? Eighty? Eight zero?

• 18:13Speaker 03

  I think so. That's what I, I think so.

• 18:15Sean Hayes?

  And, and, and is it, like, if I threw out names, could you, you don't want to do that?

• 18:20Speaker 03

  I probably could. I mean, I'm a monkey. I'll give you what you need. Let's get going. Wait, dude. Numbers, folks.

• 18:26Sean Hayes?

  I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do a, a, a, a look away to Gunter from Sing and Sing Two.

• 18:32Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. This is Gunter from Sing. It's made up. He's a power.

• 18:39Sean Hayes?

  Okay.

• 18:39Jason Bateman?

  Nothing, nothing makes me laugh quicker than a German accent.

• 18:43Speaker 03

  It's.

• 18:44Sean Hayes?

  Okay. What about Douche from Sausage Party?

• 18:47Speaker 03

  Douche was, uh, oh, come at me, bro. It was that sort of, uh, that guy.

• 18:54Will Arnett?

  No, but wait, no, but wait, do Douche from Sausage Party.

• 18:59Sean Hayes?

  Okay, so wait.

• 19:00Speaker 03

  So Douche from Sausage Party, we did, that's the Rogan movie and they, they, I did the whole thing as like a, sort of a British villain, like a, you know, the classic Disney British, like Jafar kind of voice and then, or like a Scar from Lion King. And it just wasn't working. And we did one last record where they rewrote it as that character. It was kind of a, this character did Bobby Bottle Service, who was kind of, yeah.

• 19:26Will Arnett?

  I remember Bobby Bottle Service. Wait, Nick, you did your, you did, Nick, you did, um, your series on Netflix.

• 19:33Sean Hayes?

  Big Mouth?

• 19:34Will Arnett?

  Big Mouth. And so we gotta clear, we gotta clear the air on this. Do you know what I'm getting, you know what I'm getting at?

• 19:39Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 19:40Will Arnett?

  Yeah. So we've never talked about it. So for years, people have commented me, hit me in the thing, talked to me in real life. I've been in line at the store. Do you do the voice of, there's a character on your show that people thought was me?

• 19:55Sean Hayes?

  His name is Mori, the hormone monster.

• 19:57Will Arnett?

  Is that what it is?

• 19:58Speaker 03

  And everybody thinks it's Arnett. It's, it's.

• 20:03Will Arnett?

  I can't tell you how many people have.

• 20:05Jason Bateman?

  And that's you, Nick?

• 20:07Speaker 03

  It's me.

• 20:08Jason Bateman?

  Nick doing Arnett?

• 20:09Speaker 03

  No, it's, I mean, this is, okay, so here's the backstory here. Let's clear the air on this.

• 20:15Will Arnett?

  Let's clear it, finally.

• 20:16Speaker 03

  Finally. Um, so, uh, I, we did the show Big Mouth. It's about kids going through puberty. And my friend Andrew Goldberg, who Sean mentioned, I met in first grade. We created the show together. He had been at Family Guy for years. We've been friends forever. And he and Mark and Jen, our other partners, came to me with an idea about an animated show about kids, about me and Andrew at 13 going through puberty.

• 20:41Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 20:41Speaker 03

  And immediately it was like, great, this makes, this, I really see this show. So we started working on it and Andrew started talking and he's like, you know, and, and like, I think my guy, who he was a really early, early developer, you know, he just hit puberty at like five and had a full beard by eight, you know?

• 20:59Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 20:59Speaker 03

  And he was, and he was sort of like, I think my character was like, something encourages him to jerk off. Like, he's got like a hormone monster. And I immediately was, literally immediately was like,

• 21:12Sean Hayes?

  Touch yourself, Andrew.

• 21:13Speaker 03

  And it was like, that was the voice. Because I'd been doing this guy, I'd been doing this guy Nash Ricky, I had a sketch show called Kroll Show. Nash Ricky was sort of like a hair metal guy who was also like had OCD and.

• 21:26Will Arnett?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, was Pete, was Pete Giles part of that?

• 21:30Speaker 03

  Yes, Pete Giles was part of that, yeah.

• 21:32Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 21:32Speaker 03

  We had a, we had a song called LA Deli and it was just about all the delis in LA, like, like California girls. Cause all those guys like hung out at, you know, fucking canters and all that.

• 21:43Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 21:43Speaker 03

  Anyway, so I did this voice, Nash Ricky. So I, then we go to do Big Mouth, we develop it, we make it. It comes out, I've known Will forever, Will is on the air with BoJack at this, like, so.

• 21:55Will Arnett?

  Same, yeah.

• 21:56Speaker 03

  The same time, BoJack is like the, the premier fucking animated show. It never crossed my mind that anyone would be like, is that Arnett? And then we start the show and it works and everybody's like.

• 22:11Sean Hayes?

  Can't believe you got Arnett.

• 22:11Speaker 03

  You sound like Arnett.

• 22:14Will Arnett?

  Nick, I honestly, I can't tell you how many people over the years I'm like, "No, it's not. I think it's..." I didn't know if it was you, but I was like,

• 22:23Speaker 03

  "It's so funny."

• 22:23Will Arnett?

  "I think it's Kroll."

• 22:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:25Will Arnett?

  That is just...

• 22:26Sean Hayes?

  Is that show still going?

• 22:27Speaker 03

  No, we did eight... we did eight seasons.

• 22:30Will Arnett?

  Wow, that's remarkable.

• 22:31Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, that's incredible.

• 22:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, we'll have done... we did more of those than basically any other scripted Netflix show, I think, besides Ozark. How many have you guys done now? 140? Are you guys done 140?

• 22:43Sean Hayes?

  It felt like 140. No, it was, uh, four and a half, maybe, seasons?

• 22:47Will Arnett?

  Seasons, yeah.

• 22:48Speaker 03

  It's... anyway, so we did it and, uh, and we're about to put out a new show, uh, called Mating Season. It's the same team who made Big Mouth.

• 22:57Sean Hayes?

  What's a premiere on that, Sean? What's a premiere date, host? Oh, God, you... wait, I need to look it up.

• 23:01Speaker 03

  I jumped it. I jumped it. I got fucking...

• 23:04Sean Hayes?

  I have to scroll it on the bottom. Later. Scrolling, scrolling.

• 23:07Speaker 03

  When is it, Nick? I'm so sorry.

• 23:09Sean Hayes?

  Check the chat, maybe Michael Grant, Harry, sent it to you.

• 23:12Speaker 03

  Oh, my God, I can tell you. It's... I don't even know.

• 23:14Sean Hayes?

  Double back at the end, Sean. Okay. We'll be right back.

• 23:21Sean Hayes?

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• 24:58Sean Hayes?

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• 26:06Sean Hayes?

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• 26:50Sean Hayes?

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• 27:20Will Arnett?

  Crowe, so I know you, so I feel like the first time I saw you was at UCB over 20 years ago. I think the first time we met, you were maybe doing monologues at ASCAT one night. Yes, I think that would make sense. Like, early 2000s? Yeah. And, and you were so funny. It was one of those, like, the first time I saw you, it was like, oh, this dude is fucking hilarious. Thank you. Like, right out of the gate. Yeah, so always. And then you just went on to do, what I love is that you went on, and you and Malaney did so much cool stuff. You did, you did a show on Broadway. Mm-hmm. You did, you did sketches, you did sketch shows. You've just done, what I love is how many different kinds of things you have done. Yeah, constantly. You do stand-up, you do all of it.

• 28:02Will Arnett?

  And is there, is there, do you, now at this point, do you go like, oh, it feels too spread out, I want to concentrate on this? Because I know you just did a stand-up special. Yeah.

• 28:11Sean Hayes?

  I just watched it, it's so good.

• 28:12Will Arnett?

  Is that kind of where you want to go? Or do you feel like you still want to? I want to just do millions of different things.

• 28:17Speaker 03

  I mean, I like what I'm shooting for is like a B minus across the board. If you can shoot for a B minus, you can do so much.

• 28:25Jason Bateman?

  You never disappoint yourself.

• 28:27Speaker 03

  You can really, you don't shoot too high. You stay general and broad and then nobody can attack you for fully committing to anything.

• 28:35Will Arnett?

  That's such a great call. Oh, I know that.

• 28:40Jason Bateman?

  It's all about longevity.

• 28:41Speaker 03

  It's all about just staying right in the middle for as long as possible and then they can't. Don't get too tall.

• 28:47Will Arnett?

  Wait, the three of us, JB, you, me and Kroll did that animated show with Mitch Hurwitz.

• 28:53Jason Bateman?

  Oh, uh.

• 28:54Will Arnett?

  Sit down, shut up.

• 28:54Jason Bateman?

  Sit down, shut up.

• 28:56Speaker 03

  That was very, yeah, that was, uh, it was literally right after Arrested. And that, it was us and Forte.

• 29:03Will Arnett?

  And Forte.

• 29:04Jason Bateman?

  Damn, I want to watch that again. I remember the animation being hilarious.

• 29:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm playing a character I would not currently play, I don't think.

• 29:12Will Arnett?

  Copy that, copy that.

• 29:13Jason Bateman?

  Oh, let's, please explain.

• 29:16Speaker 03

  His name was Andrew Legostambos and it was a, uh, Legostambos. He liked, he was a bisexual Latin teacher.

• 29:26Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 29:27Jason Bateman?

  Do you think, do you think, no, but literally, if you started that today, do you think that today's culture would attack as much as it did, let's say even six months to a year ago?

• 29:39Speaker 03

  No, I think everything is, I feel like things are kind of settling. I mean, I don't think I would play that character right now, but I, but I, but I do think things are settling a bit. Like all of that stuff, um, that I think you're, we're finding a different levels now to it, you know?

• 29:57Jason Bateman?

  Right, right.

• 29:57Will Arnett?

  Yeah, I think so too.

• 29:58Jason Bateman?

  And I wonder why, I mean, the issues haven't gone away, but maybe the, the, the tolerance and the exploration of finding humor in things that are more challenging is, is more around? I don't, I don't know.

• 30:13Speaker 03

  I think there's a general, I, I mean, I think there's polarizing views of it, but I think there's a general attempt to be more thoughtful about what we're doing or how we're doing it. And if you're Generally more thoughtful than I think there's more, a little more room for different versions of people, playing different versions of people, I think, in that way, you know?

• 30:35Will Arnett?

  I think also, there's, there's a...

• 30:38Sean Hayes?

  Interesting.

• 30:38Will Arnett?

  We have to pay more attention to intent, you know? And if the intent is to injure, or to sideline, or to, to, to be hurtful...

• 30:48Sean Hayes?

  Minimize, ridicule, yeah.

• 30:49Will Arnett?

  Then there's no room for it.

• 30:50Speaker 03

  Let's save that for our personal friendships, right?

• 30:53Will Arnett?

  Okay, yeah, of course. And family, and family.

• 30:56Speaker 03

  Exactly, let's save the family out of this.

• 30:59Sean Hayes?

  Wait, so Nick, when you first started out, I mentioned in the intro, you bombed freshman year in comedy competition.

• 31:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:05Sean Hayes?

  And the guy who won and then gave you the opportunity was Mike Birbiglia, right?

• 31:09Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 31:09Will Arnett?

  No way. Oh, no way.

• 31:10Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, that's crazy. I mean, that's crazy.

• 31:12Speaker 03

  Where was this? It was at Georgetown. We did this thing called the Funniest Act on Campus. And I'd never done comedy before in any real capacity, and there were, you know, it's like flyers up.

• 31:22Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 31:22Speaker 03

  And I went and did it. I was really nervous about it. And I just, I showed up and my whole bit was that I was gonna get on stage and go, "You know, I thought I'd be so nervous, but I'm super relaxed," and then I was gonna piss my pants.

• 31:39Will Arnett?

  That's a great bit.

• 31:40Speaker 03

  It's a good bit, right?

• 31:41Will Arnett?

  It's a really good bit.

• 31:42Speaker 03

  Except, I did not prepare. I got, I was like, you know, I was a freshman in college.

• 31:47Will Arnett?

  Drinking up water?

• 31:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was like, had drank and like, you know, I was just like, so nervous that I showed up, and I had not, I had not, I was gonna bring like a water balloon and a pen, and like pop the water, you know what I mean? I had thought, I didn't, so, but I forgot all of it, so I grabbed like a empty, a sandwich bag in the trash, and grabbed a pen and just got on stage and just like jammed...

• 32:12Sean Hayes?

  Over and over?

• 32:13Speaker 03

  The pen into this like water bag in my pocket, so it just looked like I was

• 32:17Sean Hayes?

  Jerking.

• 32:18Speaker 03

  Jerking off on stage, basically, which is what I've been doing ever since. But Mike, Mike won, Mike had like a solid five minutes as like a sophomore, and he won the competition, and got to start hosting at the DC Improv. And then, he was doing a sketch show later that year and invited... I invited me to audition and I did that audition and then got cast and we went to like a kid's apartment on campus and read all these sketches and I like it was truly the one time in my life I walked out of that thing I was like this is it yeah this is all I this is it this is what I want to do

• 32:52Will Arnett?

  Because what were you what were you studying at Georgetown at the time?

• 32:55Speaker 03

  I was studying history and minoring in art and Spanish just kind of like coasting coasting on privilege

• 33:02Will Arnett?

  That was getting goose yeah? Waiting waiting for something to hit you to do or were you going to make a career out of history?

• 33:11Speaker 03

  I was gonna I don't know I think I was just I truly was coasting you know I I just was like I liked history because I think I liked telling stories but I think I was still scared to like write and you know so English wasn't didn't feel entirely safe and then we started doing and so we died audition for that sketch show and we literally then went at the we did our sketch it was like we rehearsed for three months to do one night in Bulldog Alley on campus and then and the show was I mean we bombed but I met all these guys who I continue to know and work with still including Birbiglia and then UCB was just about to come on the air and they came down to GW and did a show

• 33:51Speaker 03

  at GW it was like a big improv festival and it was the first time I saw those guys and I my mind fully exploded

• 33:59Will Arnett?

  Did they do Bucket of Truth?

• 34:00Speaker 03

  Bucket of Truth and we

• 34:02Will Arnett?

  What's Bucket of Truth?

• 34:03Speaker 03

  It was it was Little Donny remember Little Donny's it was like Besser at the sketches little kid with a huge

• 34:13Speaker 03

  but I saw that and then and then moved to the city that summer or kids started going to the city we did it a workshop at UCB and and aren't Will you know Owen Burke?

• 34:24Will Arnett?

  Very well

• 34:24Speaker 03

  You guys all know Owen Owen was my brother's roommate in college and Owen started had just started at UCB so I started going to UCB started going to ASCAT as a fan you know I was like and could not believe what I was seeing

• 34:37Will Arnett?

  I agree I had the same first of all I had the same sensation I saw them do Bucket of Truth in 1996 they just moved from Chicago

• 34:45Jason Bateman?

  Can you tell me what Bucket of Truth is?

• 34:46Will Arnett?

  It was a sketch show that they did. And they did it downstairs at the West Bank on 42nd Street. The restaurant, they had a little space down there. And I was like, what? And it was Walsh and Amy and Besser and Ian Roberts. And I was like, what the fuck? Like, watching what these guys did. So I loved it. And then they started doing it, they started doing Ask At It, that other place, Solo Arts on 17th Street, before they moved into their theater. And I would go every Sunday. And JB, you remember my old roommate, Duff? I had lived with Duff and I've been roommates years. But you know Duff too, right?

• 35:20Speaker 03

  I know Duff, yeah, a little bit. Through Owen and-

• 35:22Will Arnett?

  Through Owen. And so I said to Owen and Duff, I go, you guys got it. I said, let's go to this thing and see these guys. And Owen came along to-

• 35:32Speaker 03

  Oh, wow.

• 35:32Will Arnett?

  I brought him to his first UCB show. And he ended up as artistic director of UCB.

• 35:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:37Will Arnett?

  Isn't that wild?

• 35:38Speaker 03

  Wild. Owen Burke. Yeah, that is wild. Funny, good man. And that was sort of, so I started coming and we would go. And I was, you know, I went to Solo Arts once or twice and saw those shows. And then would go to the theater at 22nd Street and like, sit on the side, you know, wait and sit on the side and look up. And it was like, all these people, you know, who were, you know, who were just popping on Conan and-

• 36:00Will Arnett?

  Oh, it was like Glazer and Tina and McKay would be there and all those guys.

• 36:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, it just was like, and as soon as I, literally as soon as I saw it, the first, did that sketch, little sketch show, and then joined the improv group, my sophomore year, I was like, done. I'll do, back to sort of what you're saying, I was like, I'll do anything. Get me, get me close to this, I'll do anything.

• 36:21Jason Bateman?

  But to speak more about, you know, because I'm just, I'm always fascinated with people at that age where you need to, or you think you need to, commit to a career. And you have to really think about making rent and feeding yourself. And like, you're out from the nest at home. And so you're at this opportunity, an incredible university. You haven't really picked an occupation, an industry, a path. At what point did you feel like, oh, okay, there's enough momentum going in this lane where I need not continue to consider other means of support?

• 37:03Speaker 03

  Well, for me, after Silver Spoon, I just wanted to have fun. Spoon. You know what I mean? After the spoon.

• 37:11Jason Bateman?

  This is why I'm so curious about it, because it was like I'd had this momentum since I was a little kid. But I still, at 18, I thought, well, is it gonna last? Maybe I should study something else that's a little bit more reliable.

• 37:25Speaker 03

  Well, so going back, so the other thing, my connection to Jason a bit is that you're originally from Rye, right? Or your family? So I'm from Rye, New York.

• 37:34Jason Bateman?

  Oh, no way.

• 37:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, so, you know, I grew up with plenty of privilege. So I went to, I never had, like, the privilege was that I could sort of be like, what do I want to do? And I went to college and I started, and I, you know, school was never exactly my thing. I was fine at it. But as soon as I started doing improv and comedy and sketch, I was like, I'll do anything, like, I'll print, you know, like, I'll go anywhere at any hour to get this done. And when I moved to New York, I had, I did have the real, the privilege of knowing that I could fall back. Like, if it didn't work, I could go get a job somewhere, like, I was, it was gonna be okay.

• 38:15Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 38:17Speaker 03

  But it was, the thing I feel so lucky about is that I had such a clear, I knew, I knew I wanted, I knew as soon as I started doing it, this is all I wanted to do. And any work, now, the question of whether I was gonna make it is the intangible. But I think the idea for me was like, well, I'm gonna regret the fuck out of this if I don't try.

• 38:37Jason Bateman?

  You recognize that it was something that really fed your soul, that you were decent at it, you liked the atta boys, and it was sort of self-perpetuating.

• 38:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, and it's never, it's never waned, at least for me.

• 38:49Will Arnett?

  Which is interesting, because, which is interesting, because JB, you do have that as well. At the same time, this was, this was your thing, since before you can remember doing anything else, really, since you were a little kid, there was never like, hey, I'm gonna try my hand at this. You were in it, you were always in it, right? I mean, I don't mean to say that you, yeah, I'm talking to you. I'm not saying that you didn't have a choice, but that was your, in a lot of ways, it was your job, it became your passion.

• 39:17Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, I had realized that I was halfway decent at something before I needed to have something that I was halfway decent at. And so that was a...

• 39:25Will Arnett?

  Yeah, and I think for you, so on that...

• 39:28Speaker 03

  And you were cute as a button, if I could...

• 39:29Jason Bateman?

  Hey Nick, stop it.

• 39:31Will Arnett?

  God, were you cute. Number in the chat, number in the chat. Oh no, not another rhythm connection.

• 39:37Jason Bateman?

  Hey, I run too.

• 39:37Will Arnett?

  Enough. But JB, you had that second gear. For you, the thing that you found was when directing and seeing you light up at this stage of your life, when you talk about directing is the same way, I think that I certainly did it, Nick, the way you describe it, discovering this thing where you go, "I love this, I gotta do this, I'll print flyers, I'll do whatever it takes."

• 39:57Jason Bateman?

  True.

• 39:58Will Arnett?

  You kind of have it for directing.

• 40:00Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:00Will Arnett?

  Right? Like 10, 12 years ago, 15 years ago.

• 40:02Jason Bateman?

  Right, and if, like anyone out there, you know, if you were lucky enough to get paid a little bit to do something that you would pay somebody else to do, right? Because you love it so much, that's the sort of fuel that can really travel you into success and longevity and instead of just punching a clock, you know, if it's something that really is passionate.

• 40:27Will Arnett?

  Nick, just quickly, did you do, because you've worked with a lot of great people. We mentioned Mitch Hurwitz and obviously Mulaney, you've had a lot of great partners and collaborators. Another funny dude that we know that we all connect with is John Levenstein, who worked on "The Kroll Show."

• 40:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:43Will Arnett?

  Super, super funny.

• 40:45Speaker 03

  One of the funniest, most bizarre men in the world.

• 40:47Jason Bateman?

  Sweetest men, too. And honestly, I just have to say it, since we just mentioned it, "The Kroll Show" is one of my favorite shows of all time.

• 40:53Speaker 03

  Thank you, Sean.

• 40:54Jason Bateman?

  Truly, I mean...

• 40:56Will Arnett?

  So, it's so funny. And Levenstein was a big part of that, right?

• 40:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, he was the, I'm, he was the showrunner, and he'd come, we hired him, I mean, I met him doing this cartoon called "Life and Times of Tim."

• 41:09Will Arnett?

  Oh, yeah.

• 41:10Speaker 03

  Ended up on HBO, that was like, and Giles, that's how I met Giles.

• 41:12Will Arnett?

  Also Pete Giles.

• 41:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's how I met Giles originally.

• 41:15Will Arnett?

  Sweet Pete Giles.

• 41:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, and one of the great voices. Talk about, "You think we got some gravel, that motherfucker."

• 41:23Will Arnett?

  Pete Giles. You can catch him, you can hear him everywhere. It's the World Series on Fox.

• 41:32Will Arnett?

  She chows.

• 41:34Speaker 03

  So it is, yeah, I mean, I, hey, by the way, Jason, I'm so sorry Zootopia didn't work out.

• 41:40Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 41:40Speaker 03

  But, uh, we'll get back to that on the VO stuff. They can't all be winners on the VO stuff.

• 41:44Jason Bateman?

  True. I do, I do envy what you guys can do with VO. I, I still feel like I'm just leaving voicemail messages. I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing.

• 41:52Will Arnett?

  Jason, oh, Jason, I forgot to tell you, last week I was, I was out east and I was with, out for dinner with my little guy, Denny, who's five. And there's a couple sitting next to us and they're talking about, and they've got like a seven-year-old girl, they're talking about Zootopia and, and my guy, Denny, goes, "I saw Zootopia 2." And they're like, "We love Zootopia 2." And he goes, and he comes up and he goes, "Dad, can I tell them?" I go, "Tell them?" And he goes, "About Jason." And I go, sure. And he goes, "My, my dad's friend Jason is the voice of Nick."

• 42:24Will Arnett?

  He's, my son is five. It was so sweet.

• 42:27Jason Bateman?

  How about, how about I'm just excited that he knows my name?

• 42:30Will Arnett?

  I know.

• 42:32Speaker 03

  Isn't it?

• 42:32Jason Bateman?

  I love that little guy.

• 42:33Will Arnett?

  Isn't that sweet?

• 42:34Sean Hayes?

  I love that. Nick, can I ask about growing up? Because we touched on that a little bit and I think it's fascinating. And this, when I read this, I laughed out loud that, you grew up in Rye, New York, and your parents sent a limo to pick you up from school? Is that, is that every day?

• 42:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, no, no, every once in a while.

• 42:50Sean Hayes?

  When you're good.

• 42:51Speaker 03

  So it wasn't, uh, you know what I mean?

• 42:53Sean Hayes?

  That made me laugh out loud when I read that. I'm like, is that true?

• 42:56Will Arnett?

  Yeah, it was like Different Strokes, right? Like you just...

• 42:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly. It's true.

• 43:01Jason Bateman?

  Well, what happened to all those limos? You remember we used to see stretch limos everywhere? Where did they go?

• 43:06Will Arnett?

  I kind of thought about bringing it back this year when we went to the big award show the other couple of weeks ago.

• 43:10Speaker 03

  Oh, my God, that's so funny.

• 43:11Will Arnett?

  I thought, wouldn't it be funny to pull up to like the Academy Awards in a white stretch limo?

• 43:15Jason Bateman?

  But I want to know where they went, literally, like, I guess scrap metal yards? Or do they put them in a container ship?

• 43:21Sean Hayes?

  They're Waymos now. They're all Waymos.

• 43:22Jason Bateman?

  And like, send them to Eastern Europe?

• 43:23Will Arnett?

  Wait, so Nick, I mean, you would...

• 43:24Speaker 03

  They're all playing in Europe.

• 43:25Will Arnett?

  You talk, you talk, they're all playing in Europe.

• 43:30Will Arnett?

  That's a great joke. So you had to, there were occasions where you had to be driven to school. It just is what it is.

• 43:37Speaker 03

  My dad, my dad, it's like, uh, the internet, the internet is real, loves, loves to speculate on, on my, my dad is business, fascinating business, fascinating man, built incredible business.

• 43:50Sean Hayes?

  Do you guys, Jay, do you know about his dad?

• 43:52Jason Bateman?

  No, please share.

• 43:53Sean Hayes?

  I didn't either, and when I read about it, Nick, I understood 10% of it. So can you please explain it?

• 43:58Jason Bateman?

  Arms dealer, drug dealer, what is it?

• 43:59Will Arnett?

  Consultant.

• 43:59Speaker 03

  He deals drugs, he dealt drugs to arms dealers.

• 44:03Jason Bateman?

  Got it, got it. That's lucrative.

• 44:05Speaker 03

  Cause it's two different, it's, you know, you gotta find the guy who's gonna come in between them. Was that what that Jonah Hill movie was about? Those guys, remember the movie?

• 44:14Will Arnett?

  Oh yeah, I liked that movie.

• 44:15Jason Bateman?

  With Nick Cage?

• 44:16Will Arnett?

  War Dogs.

• 44:16Speaker 03

  Yeah. Oh yes, War Dogs. Was they, were that, is that they were doing?

• 44:19Jason Bateman?

  I wanna see that.

• 44:21Speaker 03

  But, so anyway, he, he built this, he, he sort of, uh, did, uh, the, the larger umbrella would be like risk mitigation. So like, it started, um, as like corporate investigations, due diligence, and during the eighties, it was like Wall Street takeover, private, all those like hostile takeovers, like doing, uh, of all, like Ivan Boesky and all those kinds of characters. And then it was, um, dictators like Saddam, like, like the Kuwaiti government hired him to find Saddam Hussein's money. And Baby Doc Duvalier in Haiti and the Marcoses.

• 44:58Will Arnett?

  I love Baby Doc Duvalier. Now you're really going into it.

• 45:03Speaker 03

  Me and Malaney were trying to write a movie.

• 45:04Jason Bateman?

  Baby Doc handles Kimmel, handles Fallon, handles Colbert, right?

• 45:10Will Arnett?

  James Dixon, Baby Doc, Baby Doll, that's Baby Doll, that's Baby Doll, James. Wait a second, Nick, didn't, now that I think about it, didn't, did Duff write a book about your dad's company?

• 45:21Speaker 03

  He may have, yes, he may have at some point, yes.

• 45:24Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 45:24Speaker 03

  And, um, so he, and, and then he, you know, he's, he's gone on to, to, uh, continue to sort of work in various versions of that business. And he and my brother have a company called K2 now, which continues to do, uh, different versions of investigation. And and risk mitigation and security.

• 45:41Will Arnett?

  And they make skis too.

• 45:42Speaker 03

  And they make great skis. I know, I know everybody out there likes slal- salmon.

• 45:49Will Arnett?

  Slalom. Hey, but Nick, you know, I do want to say that I'm glad you you talked about it because you didn't decide how you what your dad did or how you were born or and and your dad started a company. And he was successful at what he did.

• 46:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:04Will Arnett?

  And and so I like that you just you you talk about it openly because what the fuck are you gonna do?

• 46:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:10Will Arnett?

  Right? You don't need to apologize.

• 46:12Speaker 03

  The internet will find you.

• 46:13Will Arnett?

  No, I know, but why? You don't need to apologize for where you came from. What are you supposed to do?

• 46:18Speaker 03

  Right, exactly. Thank you.

• 46:21Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 46:21Speaker 03

  I mean, that's, uh, no, but it is. I I I just got, I mean, I feel like I got real lucky. I got dealt a real good hand.

• 46:28Will Arnett?

  Of course, you did, but you and and I, as I've said, I've known you 20, 25 years. You work really hard. You create a lot of stuff. You create a lot of stuff on your own. You didn't have family in show business. And you did it all through hard work and talent. So, you know, fuck everybody.

• 46:44Jason Bateman?

  But he sounds, that sounds really fascinating, like, um.

• 46:48Will Arnett?

  Get them to investigate Bateman, please.

• 46:50Jason Bateman?

  The kinds of, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

• 46:52Will Arnett?

  No, no, just look into it. Just look into it. But Jason, why do you keep going to Grand Cayman?

• 46:57Jason Bateman?

  Why?

• 46:58Will Arnett?

  Answer that.

• 46:59Jason Bateman?

  Listen, these people are so kind.

• 47:01Speaker 03

  The firm cosplay?

• 47:04Jason Bateman?

  But, yeah, the kind of connections and and and know how he's got, I just, that's like up there with I I if I if I could pick a new career, if I could go back in time, if I was like 17 and I would like to get recruited by the CIA.

• 47:20Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, you have you have CIA vibes written all over you.

• 47:25Jason Bateman?

  I would love to be somebody in my mid 50s, um, like, well, I'm in my late 50s now, that, uh, is still, uh, like, I would like to be able to hold that secret, uh, from, because you're not supposed to be able to tell your wife.

• 47:39Speaker 03

  From your family?

• 47:40Jason Bateman?

  Or, yeah, right? I mean, if you're really good.

• 47:42Will Arnett?

  You want to hold more secrets from your family?

• 47:44Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, I've got I've got a little more room. I found a little more room on my drive.

• 47:48Will Arnett?

  Wait, JB, JB, we just went through your morning routine. You think that you're CIA ready? Are you fucking kidding?

• 47:56Speaker 03

  No, that's what you do in the CIA. You watch the end of a Dodger game.

• 47:59Jason Bateman?

  Yeah. No way this guy's a spy. Look how dummy he is.

• 48:03Will Arnett?

  They're like, how do we kill that Bateman agent? He's at the golf club.

• 48:10Sean Hayes?

  We'll be right back.

• 48:13Sean Hayes?

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• 48:53Sean Hayes?

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• 49:28Sean Hayes?

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• 50:10Sean Hayes?

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• 50:18Sean Hayes?

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• 50:41Sean Hayes?

  And now, back to the show.

• 50:45Sean Hayes?

  Were you gonna say, Nick, were you gonna say you and Mulaney were working on a script about it or no? Was that what you were gonna say?

• 50:49Speaker 03

  We were working on a script. It was the first, we sold a movie called Most Glorious Friend. And it was, you know, those like Nigerian email, Prince email scams? Well, we were, the premise was like-

• 51:00Will Arnett?

  They're fucking scams?

• 51:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:02Sean Hayes?

  Oh, Willie.

• 51:04Speaker 03

  This, our, the premise of the movie was like, this was the, this, this time it was real. And it was gonna be Tracy Morgan as the deposed dictator of a country called Lyrobia. And his name is Lil Mo. And, and, and that was, so like, a bunch of, a couple of college kids responded to the email. And then like Tracy Morgan shows up being like, where's my money? And we pitched it out to Tracy. It's so, it was genuinely very, I mean, I, it was probably structurally, I mean, we had no idea we were doing. We were just sat there reading Save the Cat by the chapter and then trying to write off of that.

• 51:43Sean Hayes?

  Save the Cat is a screenwriting book.

• 51:45Will Arnett?

  That's so, that's so fun. That's such a fun taking, Shur and I worked on this thing years ago, Mike Shur. We called the ambassador about, basically, he's too dumb to kill. He's the son of a senator. They make him envoy to the EU to ruin all their trade deals. And then he's like getting chased like Bourne, but he doesn't realize he's being, like, he's getting chased. He keeps going, go around!

• 52:13Speaker 03

  You both, all three of you guys could be spies. You guys should be like 50s, the worst spies, post-Cold War spies.

• 52:21Sean Hayes?

  Right.

• 52:22Speaker 03

  Spies like, spies like you.

• 52:24Will Arnett?

  Spies like us.

• 52:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, spies like us. But there's a, it's just, it's just how it's pronounced at the end.

• 52:29Sean Hayes?

  Wait, so this, this made me laugh too, because Big Mouth, Big Mouth is about, like you said, you and your friend in puberty, 13 years old. But I read your sister Vanessa is now a professional puberty educator?

• 52:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:42Sean Hayes?

  What does that even mean? What does that mean?

• 52:44Speaker 03

  So, yeah, my sister Vanessa is a, um, yeah, she became an expert in puberty. She started a thing called Dynamo Girl a number of years ago. Uh, and it's like after-school program for, uh, sports for girls. And then as she was teaching these young girls, like they, as they got older and started going through puberty, she realized that there was just a ton of, there was just like a empty spot in that, in sort of the education around that and like having parents and kids understand what's going on. Uh, so, I mean, it's a crazy synergy, but I think it just speaks to a little bit of, I guess, our experience, you know, she's two years older than me, of going through that period of life together, it was of interest. Like, we had those books, you, you, like, What's Happening to Me?

• 53:27Speaker 03

  You know, those like groovy 70s books with like body, drawings of the body, and so we were-

• 53:32Will Arnett?

  Are you there, God, it's me, Margaret?

• 53:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, like, all of that stuff, I think, loomed large for us, and so it became an interest for both of us. She's, and she's like, uh, so she's kind of a, writing about parenting and that kind of stuff. She's got four kids.

• 53:45Will Arnett?

  And then, is she the one, who's the one married to the men, one of the men in Blazers?

• 53:49Speaker 03

  That's, my sister Vanessa's married to Roger Bennett from Men in Blazers.

• 53:52Will Arnett?

  Yeah, I know those, I love those guys.

• 53:54Sean Hayes?

  That's cool. And, and all your siblings, there's four of you.

• 53:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:58Sean Hayes?

  Are you all funny people? Like, are you all-

• 54:01Speaker 03

  I think so. I don't know how it works in your family, but like, I don't, I think it's pretty rare that someone comes out of a family that isn't also, if they're funny, that isn't also funny.

• 54:09Sean Hayes?

  Right, right.

• 54:10Speaker 03

  Uh, my brother's, my brother's really funny and, and my sister's, well, yeah, I think there was in the family, there was a sense of humor.

• 54:16Sean Hayes?

  Did you guys get it from mom or dad?

• 54:18Speaker 03

  They're both pretty funny. My dad's funny. Um, and my mom's got a very good sense of humor, uh, especially having to deal with me tell jokes about moms. Like, she, you know, she's like, people tell me, am I, am I upset about the jokes about moms? And I'd say, I'm not.

• 54:37Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 54:40Sean Hayes?

  They're both fair enough. Yeah. Funny.

• 54:42Speaker 03

  But though, it's a funny family, I think. But I think, but me kind of being like, no, I'm gonna go be a comedian.

• 54:48Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 54:48Speaker 03

  Everyone was like, huh. There was definitely, it wasn't like, well, of course you're gonna, you know.

• 54:54Will Arnett?

  You know Jim, you know Jimmy Valli?

• 54:56Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 54:56Will Arnett?

  Jimmy Valli used to-

• 54:57Speaker 03

  Another Vet Levin, see, another rested guy.

• 54:59Will Arnett?

  Yeah, another rested, Jimmy, the great Jimmy Valli, who's one of the all time- Yeah, one of the all time funniest and has jokes that nobody else can think of, that are just so- God, I fucking love Jimmy Valli. Anyway, he used to always say, he'd say like, you know, if you come, he was, we were talking about something, he said, yeah, this guy sort of came from a good family, he goes, he had more to lose. And I go, what do you mean? He goes, well, in a way, he could have gone into, he could have been a lawyer, he could have been, he went to a good school and stuff, and he risked it all to do this. If you come from nothing, you got nothing to lose.

• 55:30Sean Hayes?

  A hundred percent.

• 55:31Will Arnett?

  And I go, and I was like, oh, that's interesting. I never, I never looked at it that way.

• 55:35Sean Hayes?

  So true, yeah.

• 55:35Jason Bateman?

  Well, Nick, you're so multi-talented and you've done so many different jobs in, in, in the structure of things. What, how do you decide what to do next? And like, what would the perfect next five years look like? I mean, I don't know how strategic you are, I imagine, and I don't mean that as a pejorative, you know, like, it takes a certain amount of planning to get things done in this business.

• 56:02Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, I mean, you got, look, he's got Roommates out April 17th, he's got Mating Season on May 22nd.

• 56:09Will Arnett?

  Sean finally got it. Sean finally-

• 56:11Sean Hayes?

  You're a hundred percent with Sam Richardson and just, and Vanessa, and that's, that's another Netflix, I mean, you have tons of stuff coming out, it's so exciting.

• 56:21Will Arnett?

  Nick, you need to know that Scotty was just off camera going, I just, I just bumped it up in your email.

• 56:27Sean Hayes?

  He just held out, he just held up dates.

• 56:29Jason Bateman?

  Scotty was like, do you want me to stop warming the cupcake and get you your dates?

• 56:32Speaker 03

  Hotmail.com backslash mail.

• 56:38Speaker 03

  We actually met at on Hotmail. Anyway, so that's just a little joke, just a small joke. It wasn't Sarandos's party, it was on Hotmail.

• 56:44Sean Hayes?

  It was Hotmail, yeah.

• 56:45Speaker 03

  And there just felt like a comedy connection there.

• 56:48Sean Hayes?

  Yeah.

• 56:48Speaker 03

  So, um, I, my strategy is I keep, and I feel like, honestly, you guys all also do a lot and produce a lot. Like, I keep a number of balls in the air who are, that are all at different stages of development. And so, you know, I'm, and I, so I think I like this show. Mating Season is the follow-up to Big Mouth, and it's about animals dating and fucking, and falling in love in the woods. So it feels like a natural sort of progression of that. And I've been working with my partners, Mark and Andrew and Jen, on that. It's me, Zach Woods, June Diane Raphael, and Sabrina Jelis. It's like, uh, you know, like a-

• 57:27Will Arnett?

  Fun.

• 57:28Speaker 03

  Fun hangout, kind of in the vein of like an animated version of Friends or, um, I can't remember any of the other, any of those other NBC shows, uh-

• 57:40Sean Hayes?

  Nope, can't even-

• 57:41Speaker 03

  Must-see TV, but you know that sort of, that genre.

• 57:44Will Arnett?

  No, I mean, none, none really kind of stuck.

• 57:46Speaker 03

  There was-

• 57:47Will Arnett?

  Yes, I felt, Wings, Wings, you're thinking of Wings.

• 57:50Speaker 03

  Wings was great, I love Wings, it's a big influence.

• 57:52Will Arnett?

  The Single Guy, you're thinking of Single Guy.

• 57:55Speaker 03

  Guy, of course, the Single Guy.

• 57:56Will Arnett?

  That's what you were thinking of.

• 57:58Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, Caroline in the City.

• 57:59Will Arnett?

  Carol City.

• 58:00Speaker 03

  But then there was that show with the gay guys, two guys in a big-

• 58:03Will Arnett?

  Frasier.

• 58:04Speaker 03

  ...edible in a pizza place.

• 58:05Sean Hayes?

  Two guys-

• 58:06Jason Bateman?

  It was some buddies.

• 58:07Will Arnett?

  That was ABC.

• 58:07Speaker 03

  Frasier, Frasier.

• 58:10Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 58:12Speaker 03

  And that's about it, I guess that's that, that was that must-see TV stuff. But, um-

• 58:16Sean Hayes?

  To wrap that up, yeah.

• 58:17Jason Bateman?

  But, but you, but you're like in this ideal position of really kind of being your own boss and self, self-perpetuating, and you've got this great sort of troupe of, of collaborators and colleagues and, um-

• 58:30Speaker 03

  For sure.

• 58:31Jason Bateman?

  Right, it's, it's, is it as ideal as it sounds?

• 58:35Speaker 03

  It really, honestly, I really feel it right now, it really is. I feel incredibly, uh, it's at a time when the business is tricky and things are going away and there's contraction. And the fact that I'm currently getting to make a bunch of different things. Is, it feels amazing, like, and I'm writing right now, we're writing 100% here in LA. And, and it's me, Manzukis, Jason Manzukis, Sam Richardson, Vanessa Bayer. And it's in the world of kinda like self-help influencer, um, gurus. So we're writing that, we're gonna shoot over the summer.

• 59:15Speaker 03

  And that's, and, and then I'm producing some other stuff, animated and live action, so it's great. What, the, the strategy you were talking about, Jason, I have, I have two kids, I got a, two, I have a five-year-old and a two-and-a-half-year-old.

• 59:29Sean Hayes?

  No way.

• 59:30Speaker 03

  That's the stuff that starts to play into like, how do we, how do I do this? And how do I be around, be also like, home and around and involved so that, so the opportunities, like, it's like, how can I set myself up as well as I can for opportunities that I get to some, have some modicum of control over?

• 59:51Sean Hayes?

  Right.

• 59:52Speaker 03

  Like, where?

• 59:53Sean Hayes?

  And be in, and be in Los Angeles, too.

• 59:55Speaker 03

  Right, that's, right, that's, and that's what you guys know.

• 59:58Sean Hayes?

  Right now, they can travel with you, but soon that five-year-old's gonna be stuck in school, and you won't be able to pop around.

• 1:00:03Speaker 03

  He doesn't wanna be, if it's any consolation, he doesn't wanna be in school, so we must.

• 1:00:08Sean Hayes?

  Does he wanna be, does he wanna be homeschooled, or he's just like, ah, I don't need?

• 1:00:11Speaker 03

  He wants to kite surf, he just wants to do, you know what I mean?

• 1:00:16Speaker 03

  He likes to free solo, he saw that free solo doc, and he just wants to go climb.

• 1:00:21Will Arnett?

  That's very dangerous, Nick, for a child.

• 1:00:23Speaker 03

  I know, I know, but we gotta let them, but we gotta let, it's lucrative, you can, first, you can get that, you and Jason knows, you gotta get to work, gotta get these kids to work.

• 1:00:33Sean Hayes?

  So, Nick, what, so, speaking about a kid, you grew up conservative Jewish, in a conservative Jewish kosher household, so no dishes, separate dishes for meat and dairy stuff. But I read that you had one junk food day a year, growing up? When you'd eat?

• 1:00:46Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:00:46Sean Hayes?

  And, and, and then, what was the other thing I read about food? That you did, oh, that, you fall asleep listening to a hypnotherapy tape telling you not to eat snacks?

• 1:00:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I went to a ther- hypnotherapist, uh.

• 1:00:59Sean Hayes?

  Did it work?

• 1:01:00Speaker 03

  To quit smoking, we all, you guys all went to fucking Kerry Gainer at some point, right? Did you ever go to Kerry Gainer to quit smoking?

• 1:01:06Will Arnett?

  Nobody can cure me.

• 1:01:07Sean Hayes?

  I just Icemaned it.

• 1:01:08Will Arnett?

  Nobody can cure me.

• 1:01:11Will Arnett?

  She's my enemy. I'm unstoppable. There's nothing that would come between me and my darts.

• 1:01:17Speaker 03

  I would love to see that western, a little spaghetti western of you versus a cigarette in a standoff.

• 1:01:24Will Arnett?

  No, we're on the same team. We're not against each other.

• 1:01:26Jason Bateman?

  Listening to those tapes at night, was this back in the day when we were told that you could learn languages from just listening to the people speak to you?

• 1:01:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was, this was, well, I went to Kerry Gaynor and he was like, you know, he was, you'd go to his like, you'd go to his garage in Santa Monica and there's like a sun faded picture of Katherine Heigl.

• 1:01:48Speaker 03

  She was here at some point. And we think, we hope.

• 1:01:56Speaker 03

  And so I used him to quit smoking and then I got this woman from the Deepak Chopra Institute and it was like this woman, she called me and I talked to her about snacks and then she, like my, cause I just was, you know, like we, it's gotta go somewhere, right? It's gotta fucking go somewhere. So if you can't smoke cigarettes, like give me some goddamn, like, you know, Sour Patch Kids, give me some fucking chips.

• 1:02:22Jason Bateman?

  Right, I'm the same way.

• 1:02:24Will Arnett?

  She just recommending snacks?

• 1:02:26Speaker 03

  No, she would, she would put, so she would make the snacks, she would be like, she would make the snacks, she's like, what do you find disgusting? And again, using the Germans, a different version. I can turn that up like five different levels and I got a couple of different pitches put on it.

• 1:02:44Will Arnett?

  Do you find, do you find poop videos disgusting?

• 1:02:47Jason Bateman?

  People ask the questions.

• 1:02:48Will Arnett?

  You're like, I think I got the wrong number.

• 1:02:51Speaker 03

  So, but she would equate something like maggots are disgusting. So imagine that you're, basically imagine that your jelly bellies are maggots and they are going to, you know, it's in my standup, I do it, I can't remember any jokes anymore. But anyway, so I would listen to it when I'd go to bed and it, and it's, it worked for a while, but now, god damn it, I want to eat chocolate pretzels all day long.

• 1:03:15Jason Bateman?

  Of course. What if you just cut out the weed? You know, if you cut out the weed, then you're not, don't get snacky at night.

• 1:03:20Speaker 03

  Ooh, we cut out the weed, we cut out the weed. You know what I mean? I gotta be able to relate, my friend.

• 1:03:29Jason Bateman?

  Last thing that I think is really fascinating that I did not know is Harry Styles helped you plan your proposal to your wife, Lily?

• 1:03:36Speaker 03

  No way.

• 1:03:36Jason Bateman?

  That's crazy.

• 1:03:37Speaker 03

  I'm a big Harry Styles fan.

• 1:03:38Jason Bateman?

  How did that happen?

• 1:03:39Speaker 03

  Uh, he, we were making that movie, Don't Worry Darling, and, which I think is most famous for the movie. And, uh,

• 1:03:51Speaker 03

  it was the height of COVID.

• 1:03:53Jason Bateman?

  Tell you what, that Olivia Wilde knows how to direct a film.

• 1:03:55Speaker 03

  She really can.

• 1:03:56Jason Bateman?

  What a talent. Amazing.

• 1:03:57Speaker 03

  Truly, she directed, it was, I had a, and I played her husband in the movie and, um, so it was really fun to act with her, like, I mean, you guys, it's like when, sometimes when you act with somebody who's directing, you know, it's different levels and she, she was great. I mean, she, anyway, so we, um, so he, it was the height of COVID, um, and, uh, I was proposing to my wife, uh, we were, uh, and, and Harry sort of like, we were planning it out. We were at the, we were doing the, we'd just done the table read and we were all hanging out and I was sort of figuring out and we just, my wife and I just moved into our new house and, uh, and, uh, so I like, you know, I had a, a box, uh, and I was like, can you just move this last box? And she was like,

• 1:04:39Speaker 03

  can you fucking, you know what I mean? Like, you're gonna make me move the fucking box? Like, you know? And, um, I was like, I don't know, Harry. So no, I, uh, opened, she opened the box. There's a bunch of flowers in the ring, but Harry, and, and then

• 1:04:51Jason Bateman?

  That's so cool.

• 1:04:52Speaker 03

  He checked in with me to be like, how'd it go? So I told him basically before I spoke to like, we spoke to our families to let them know that we were married, cause he was, had been checking in.

• 1:05:02Jason Bateman?

  That's so cool. That's so cool. What a story.

• 1:05:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:05Jason Bateman?

  It's really, really cool.

• 1:05:06Speaker 03

  Sweet, sweet boy, sweet.

• 1:05:07Jason Bateman?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:08Sean Hayes?

  Nick Kroll, it's, you are a pleasure, a joy.

• 1:05:11Will Arnett?

  I can't believe how quickly this hour went. It's bananas.

• 1:05:13Sean Hayes?

  I know.

• 1:05:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:14Jason Bateman?

  It's a real sprint.

• 1:05:15Sean Hayes?

  I just wanna say, I, I, I've loved so many things that you've done. The top three are, no, no, the top, well, I just watched Little Big Boy.

• 1:05:24Will Arnett?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:24Sean Hayes?

  Mm-hmm. I watched Little Big Boy, so fucking funny, and then

• 1:05:28Will Arnett?

  How far are you from Larchmont? Is that where you're going?

• 1:05:32Sean Hayes?

  No, and then, of course, uh, oh, uh, cavemen.

• 1:05:37Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 1:05:39Sean Hayes?

  I thought that was one of the funniest shows I'd ever seen, and it went, it was six, six episodes. I laughed based on the Geico character.

• 1:05:45Will Arnett?

  With Will and Josh.

• 1:05:46Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, with Will and Josh.

• 1:05:47Speaker 03

  You guys had just done Blades of Glory and they, and then they, I was in four hours of prosthetics. That was my first job. I was in four hours of prosthetics every morning to be one of the cavemen.

• 1:05:57Sean Hayes?

  It was so funny.

• 1:05:58Speaker 03

  But I wasn't in the commercials and they, everyone hated the show. They loved the commercials.

• 1:06:02Sean Hayes?

  Right.

• 1:06:03Speaker 03

  Everyone was like-

• 1:06:04Sean Hayes?

  I loved the show.

• 1:06:04Speaker 03

  The critics hated the show, but what I always took solace in was that the public hated it as well. We got canceled, we shot 13, I was in press four hours every morning. It was the wor- it was my first job. And it was the worst job and perfect first, you know what I mean?

• 1:06:20Will Arnett?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:20Speaker 03

  Thank fucking god. There's no way I could have done it later in my life. So, it's so funny that you like that show.

• 1:06:27Sean Hayes?

  I love that show. And then publicity, of course.

• 1:06:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, publicity.

• 1:06:31Sean Hayes?

  You as Liz. Hey, Jay, have you ever seen him play Liz from Public, from the, from the Kroll Show? I'm gonna send you a bunch of clips. It's crying laughing out loud.

• 1:06:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, you, it's, you've dealt with, you've dealt with-

• 1:06:43Sean Hayes?

  I mean, it's like, as a, as a gay guy, it's like, I would kill to play Liz. I mean, it's fucking great.

• 1:06:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, thank you, thank you.

• 1:06:49Jason Bateman?

  Well, we want more Nick Kroll.

• 1:06:51Will Arnett?

  Yeah, no kidding.

• 1:06:52Jason Bateman?

  In everything and anything.

• 1:06:53Will Arnett?

  I'm stoked for your new, I'm stoked for your new show.

• 1:06:55Sean Hayes?

  Say how much fun you had today as Liz.

• 1:06:58Speaker 03

  Oh my god, you guys being on this podcast with you, one of the most coveted slots that any publicist could just secure a slot. Spotify top 20, Apple top 20, the history, the camaraderie, the friendship, the absolute money grab. That this podcast is for everybody involved.

• 1:07:27Sean Hayes?

  I love it.

• 1:07:27Speaker 03

  It's an honor to behold.

• 1:07:31Speaker 03

  And to be held by you guys. Thank you, guys.

• 1:07:34Sean Hayes?

  Thank you, Nick. Love you to death.

• 1:07:35Will Arnett?

  Thank you, Nick. So good to see you, man.

• 1:07:37Speaker 03

  Good to see you guys. Thanks for having me.

• 1:07:39Jason Bateman?

  Thank you, buddy. Thanks for doing this.

• 1:07:40Speaker 03

  You too. Thanks, guys.

• 1:07:42Jason Bateman?

  Bye, buddy.

• 1:07:43Speaker 03

  Bye.

• 1:07:46Will Arnett?

  The funny, funny, funny Nick Rohl, yeah.

• 1:07:48Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, it's so funny, and I love that he showed up to play and he, I mean, he's so...

• 1:07:53Will Arnett?

  Always. He's always ready to play.

• 1:07:55Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, and look, clearly, he's got 80,000 things going on.

• 1:07:59Jason Bateman?

  But how great are these interviews when they feel like five minutes?

• 1:08:02Will Arnett?

  I know.

• 1:08:02Jason Bateman?

  And you can, you never get to your questions, you know?

• 1:08:05Sean Hayes?

  Right.

• 1:08:06Jason Bateman?

  Just because the conversation's so good.

• 1:08:07Will Arnett?

  That was so, that was so quick.

• 1:08:10Jason Bateman?

  He's a good fellow, that guy. Do send me some of that stuff.

• 1:08:14Sean Hayes?

  I will.

• 1:08:15Jason Bateman?

  And then I'll bet I'll go, I'll go down like a YouTube poll.

• 1:08:18Will Arnett?

  Do send me some of those things.

• 1:08:20Jason Bateman?

  Do send those bits.

• 1:08:22Sean Hayes?

  Right after my toilet. Yeah, he's in full drag as Liz. It's so funny. I mean, the balls the guy has just to do anything.

• 1:08:30Will Arnett?

  Rohl Show, there were so many amazing sketches on that show.

• 1:08:32Sean Hayes?

  Amazing sketches, yeah.

• 1:08:33Jason Bateman?

  Yeah, I should probably start there.

• 1:08:34Sean Hayes?

  But he did have, he said he did play that one character at the beginning.

• 1:08:37Will Arnett?

  Here it is. Yeah, yeah, the teacher from Sit Down, Shut Up, yeah. What was the thing you remember about that teacher? Fuck, here we go. Are you ready?

• 1:08:45Sean Hayes?

  Yeah, the character was bi-sexual.

• 1:09:03Will Arnett?

  Smartless is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Bennett Barbaco, Michael Grant Terry, and Rob Armjarf.

• 1:09:19Speaker 04

  Time for a quick break to talk about McDonald's. It's the tangiest time of the year. For a limited time, head to McDonald's and get a McRib sandwich. Make it a meal by adding a medium fries and a soft drink like an ice cold Diet Dr. Pepper. So grab a McRib sandwich and embrace the tang. Save time by ordering ahead on the app at participating McDonald's for a limited time. Dr. Pepper is a registered trademark of Dr. Pepper 7-Up Inc.

• 1:09:44Jason Bateman?

  Hey, friends, Jason here. We're so excited the Smartless has officially joined the SiriusXM family. We can't wait to announce new surprise guests who we know that you'll love. If you want to be the first to hear new episodes ad-free and a whole week early, subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts Plus on Apple Podcasts or visit siriusxm.com/podcastsplus to start your free trial today.