David Baddiel

We are joined by the Three Lions maestro this week, comedian and writer, David Baddiel! For the man with many strings to his bow, mum made latkes which were a big hit. We spoke about his new series ‘Cat Man’ and why cats deserve more airtime, his perfect ‘Full English’, his love of curries, being kidnapped for the greatest meal of his life, his allergy to alcohol, singing karaoke with Blur and the legacy of ‘Three Lions’. David’s limited series ‘Cat Man’ is released on Channel 4 on 16th January, so don’t miss out. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Network freedom and flexibility, that's what you want in a healthcare plan. With a Humana Medicare Advantage PPO plan, you can see any doctor in the country who accepts Medicare, including specialists. No referrals, no kidding. Learn more at gethumana.com. See any doctor who accepts Medicare and is willing to bill Humana. Humana PPOs may not be available in all areas. Benefits and costs share may vary. Humana is a Medicare Advantage PPO organisation with a Medicare contract. Enrollment in any Humana plan depends on contract renewal.

• 0:35Jessie Ware?

  Hello and welcome to Tove Manners. I'm Jessie Ware and I'm here with Lenny and we've matched again today.

• 0:41Speaker 02

  Well, I think a bit.

• 0:43Jessie Ware?

  Cold, I would say. You look fab, Mum, how are you?

• 0:45Speaker 02

  Thanks, Donny, I'm OK, thank you.

• 0:47Jessie Ware?

  So this is coming out in January, but whilst we're filming it, we're midway through Hanukkah and we do have David Baddiel coming on, so it felt only right to...

• 0:58Speaker 02

  Give him a lakka.

• 0:59Jessie Ware?

  Yeah, I mean, Mum, the last time you did a lakka was with Loyal Kana, I think, in series one.

• 1:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04Jessie Ware?

  And you vowed never to do it again.

• 1:06Speaker 02

  Well, I cooked them on the spot, didn't I?

• 1:08Jessie Ware?

  You did.

• 1:09Speaker 02

  And it was so noisy, we had to stop cooking.

• 1:11Jessie Ware?

  Yes.

• 1:12Speaker 02

  So I've cooked them in advance.

• 1:13Jessie Ware?

  Yeah.

• 1:14Speaker 02

  I've frozen them.

• 1:15Jessie Ware?

  Mmm.

• 1:16Speaker 02

  This is all on advice of about 3,000 cooks, flash freezing.

• 1:22Jessie Ware?

  What does flash freezing mean?

• 1:23Speaker 02

  You freeze them, as soon as they're cool, you put them in and you freeze them as quickly as possible, not in a bag. You put them on one layer, freeze them, and then put them in bags to store them. And then you cook them from frozen and that's the way to avoid soggyness.

• 1:41Jessie Ware?

  Whose recipe is this that you're doing?

• 1:42Speaker 02

  Savannah.

• 1:43Jessie Ware?

  Savannah's Kitchen?

• 1:44Speaker 02

  Yes, Savannah's Kitchen.

• 1:46Jessie Ware?

  You love her. And she said to do...

• 1:48Speaker 02

  Right, so the essence of this is that you get rid of the juice from the onion.

• 1:53Jessie Ware?

  Never thought to do that.

• 1:54Speaker 02

  But you leave the water from the potatoes, which actually isn't a lot. The onion juice from three onions was nearly a bowl full of juice. So you get rid of that, throw it away. And then you put flour in, not matsumil or breadcrumbs. And with the starch from the water, it just makes them very, very fluffy. So, anyway, they've come out really well. I hope they taste nice.

• 2:18Jessie Ware?

  Have you tried one?

• 2:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're delicious.

• 2:22Jessie Ware?

  Oh.

• 2:22Speaker 02

  More salt than I would have thought to add.

• 2:24Jessie Ware?

  Do you remember when we were in New York and we went to... When we were recording a series there and we went to the Edition Hotel.

• 2:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:32Jessie Ware?

  And we had the Intrigo who had been a guest on us. And I remember having a latte with sour cream and.

• 2:42Speaker 02

  That's what I've got.

• 2:43Jessie Ware?

  Smoked salmon.

• 2:43Speaker 02

  So I've got sour cream, smoked salmon, a little bit of caviar. I've got some apple sauce in case you wanted to go completely American. I've also done some salt beef as well in case you fancied that. And then, because I'm very eclectic and very diverse in my cultures, I've got mince pies for afters.

• 3:03Jessie Ware?

  Fab. You don't use puff pastry for your mince pies, do you?

• 3:07Speaker 02

  I made my own pastry.

• 3:08Jessie Ware?

  Oi ma!

• 3:10Speaker 02

  Very short, they're crispy and very thin.

• 3:13Jessie Ware?

  So, um, yeah, we have David Baddiel coming on, um, who you would know from, well.

• 3:19Speaker 02

  Everything.

• 3:19Jessie Ware?

  Baddiel and Skinner from the best football song in the world.

• 3:23Speaker 02

  Three lines on your shirt.

• 3:24Jessie Ware?

  From, uh, Jews Don't Count, a really important book.

• 3:29Speaker 02

  And documentary.

• 3:31Jessie Ware?

  And also now likes to be referred to as Cat Man because he loves cats so much. He's done a three-part series with Channel Four devoted to cats because he doesn't think that cats get enough airtime.

• 3:44Speaker 02

  No, they probably don't.

• 3:46Jessie Ware?

  And it's a very wholesome TV show where he goes around, where he walks a cat up a mountain with this lady who likes to walk. Her cat on a lead.

• 3:56Speaker 02

  My friend Eva used to have a cat on a lead.

• 3:58Jessie Ware?

  Really?

• 3:58Speaker 02

  Because it was a very expensive breed and she never let it out unless it was on a lead and she took it for a walk like a dog.

• 4:04Jessie Ware?

  Hmm. I think this one just was an outdoorsy kind of cat that wanted to hike, so.

• 4:09Speaker 02

  But it's funny, isn't it? Because some people don't let their cats out of their house. They're indoor cats.

• 4:15Jessie Ware?

  I think it's quite an American thing to have indoor cats.

• 4:18Speaker 02

  Well, if you live in a tower block, you'd have an indoor cat, wouldn't you?

• 4:21Jessie Ware?

  David Baddiel coming up on Take a Moment.

• 4:31Jessie Ware?

  David Baddiel, thank you so much for schlepping here.

• 4:35Speaker 03

  Thank you Jessie, it's lovely to be here.

• 4:37Jessie Ware?

  Yeah.

• 4:37Speaker 03

  It's a horrible day and it took over an hour and we live in the same city.

• 4:42Jessie Ware?

  Yeah, but you're north.

• 4:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, and you're south.

• 4:44Jessie Ware?

  Yeah. Why do you support Chelsea then? I know your brother.

• 4:47Speaker 02

  We're really worried about that.

• 4:48Speaker 03

  Don't be worried about it.

• 4:49Jessie Ware?

  It's a big red flag for us.

• 4:51Speaker 03

  Okay, I'm sorry. So it's very simple, which is I come possibly from the first generation of football fans who supported their football team based on the telly rather than their locality. So I was six and I remember very clearly watching Chelsea win the FA Cup final with my brother Iver, who you've met, who would have been eight at the time. And as, do you have brothers and sisters?

• 5:12Jessie Ware?

  I have a brother and a sister.

• 5:13Speaker 03

  Okay, so I did everything that my older brother wanted me to do when I was a kid. And as soon as he got excited because Chelsea won, they beat Leeds 2-1 in the replay of the FA Cup final, I got excited because he got excited and then we were Chelsea fans. So I'm sorry about that, even though, because I grew up in Criclwood.

• 5:32Speaker 02

  I took Jessie to see Chelsea, an FA Cup replay.

• 5:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:37Speaker 02

  Had seats.

• 5:37Jessie Ware?

  We support United.

• 5:38Speaker 02

  Support United.

• 5:39Speaker 03

  Manchester United.

• 5:40Speaker 02

  I'm from Manchester.

• 5:41Jessie Ware?

  Thank you, sir, before you start.

• 5:43Speaker 02

  Someone pissed on my car wheels.

• 5:45Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 5:46Speaker 02

  Because we had our son, I was just parking the car.

• 5:49Jessie Ware?

  We were asking for it, Lenny.

• 5:49Speaker 02

  And then they gobbled on the window screen.

• 5:51Speaker 03

  When was this?

• 5:52Jessie Ware?

  We did win.

• 5:52Speaker 03

  Is this 1983?

• 5:54Speaker 02

  No.

• 5:54Jessie Ware?

  No, it was in the 90s.

• 5:55Speaker 02

  We actually went on Boxing Day when we sat next to David Beckham's parents.

• 6:00Jessie Ware?

  He didn't like the seats.

• 6:01Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 6:02Speaker 02

  Yes, and we sat there.

• 6:03Jessie Ware?

  That was a different game though.

• 6:04Speaker 02

  And as I took my tiny children, these men shouted out, "Fuck off, you back to Manchester."

• 6:11Speaker 03

  Oh wow, wasn't me, was it?

• 6:13Speaker 02

  No, it wasn't you. We've always loved Chelsea after that.

• 6:15Jessie Ware?

  I've always loved the word cunt too.

• 6:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:17Jessie Ware?

  Maybe that's where it came from.

• 6:18Speaker 02

  And then you died.

• 6:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's a nice moment. Lovely to hear.

• 6:22Speaker 02

  We're just, we're just sparring with you at the moment.

• 6:25Speaker 03

  It's fine, there are some Chelsea fans who are, yeah, would be very fond of the word cunt.

• 6:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:30Speaker 03

  And, you know, I mean, actually I am fond of it as well, but probably not in the football hooligan context, but I'm sorry about that.

• 6:36Jessie Ware?

  More in like the cunty context.

• 6:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, more in the cunty context.

• 6:39Speaker 02

  Stop it, I hate it.

• 6:40Speaker 03

  Sorry, I'm sorry Jenny, Jenny.

• 6:41Speaker 02

  Lenny, I'm putting myself nasty now.

• 6:44Speaker 03

  Can I just ask, I was talking to my wife about this, I said, she's called Lenny, and I said... I mean, this might be old fashioned to me, but I said, that's a bloke's name.

• 6:52Speaker 02

  It is.

• 6:52Speaker 03

  So why are you called Lenny?

• 6:53Speaker 02

  Because my real name's Helena.

• 6:55Speaker 03

  Ah, okay.

• 6:56Speaker 02

  My.

• 6:56Speaker 03

  Actually, my wife did say this.

• 6:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, my real name's Helena, or actually Helena, I've got an accent on my E, which I only discovered late in my.

• 7:04Speaker 03

  Helen.

• 7:04Speaker 02

  Helena.

• 7:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, like a French.

• 7:06Speaker 02

  Called, as everyone is, who is Jewish, after a dead person that I don't think my father had ever met.

• 7:11Speaker 03

  Right.

• 7:11Speaker 02

  But my, it was my grandfather's auntie Helena, so I was called Helena.

• 7:15Jessie Ware?

  You've said it three different ways now, Lenny.

• 7:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, my dad said, we can't call her that, let's just call her Lenny the Lion.

• 7:21Speaker 03

  Lenny the Lion?

• 7:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:23Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 7:23Speaker 02

  It was after Lenny the Lion, and that's my tag on the, um, on Twitter.

• 7:27Speaker 03

  Oh, right. No, I do, definitely. Have you discussed that before, sorry, on this podcast?

• 7:32Jessie Ware?

  No, not the accent.

• 7:33Speaker 03

  No one's ever asked why you're called Lenny?

• 7:35Speaker 02

  But it's kind of quite a cool name now.

• 7:37Speaker 03

  It is a cool name.

• 7:38Jessie Ware?

  Dead trendy now.

• 7:39Speaker 02

  Androgynous names.

• 7:40Speaker 03

  Are you, Lenny as in with a Y or I E, I E, yeah, because with a Y would be quite blokey, although there is, there's Lenny Bruce.

• 7:47Speaker 02

  Lenny Bruce.

• 7:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:49Jessie Ware?

  Who are they? Lenny Henry.

• 7:50Speaker 03

  Lenny Henry.

• 7:51Jessie Ware?

  There's, um. Heidi Klum's daughter's called Lenny.

• 7:54Speaker 03

  Oh, oh, really?

• 7:55Jessie Ware?

  Uh, Alison Roman, a great chef, called her cat after this Lenny.

• 7:59Speaker 03

  Oh, really?

• 8:00Jessie Ware?

  Yeah.

• 8:00Speaker 03

  Lenny's a good name for a cat.

• 8:01Jessie Ware?

  Has a cat named after, which is kind of a brilliant segue.

• 8:04Speaker 03

  What a segue.

• 8:05Jessie Ware?

  It's a cat man.

• 8:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm Cat Man.

• 8:07Jessie Ware?

  How the fuck did you get a three parter on cats? That is, that is remarkable.

• 8:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:12Jessie Ware?

  Because it shows the respect that Channel Four have for you, how much you adore cats, you could talk about them for three hours. I'm so impressed that you, like, telly doesn't really get made anymore, they're all doing reboots of things like Gladiators is back, which we're thrilled about, actually, in our house. But like, a three parter, it's incredibly gentle, sweet telly.

• 8:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, well, there's, I'm doing a drama as well for Channel Four, that's, that's an original drama, they don't get made anymore either.

• 8:40Jessie Ware?

  About cats?

• 8:40Speaker 03

  No.

• 8:41Jessie Ware?

  Okay.

• 8:41Speaker 03

  That's a psychological thriller. No, no, that's good, I'll tell you what it's about in a bit, but let's start with the cat.

• 8:46Jessie Ware?

  Let's turn, yeah.

• 8:47Speaker 03

  So the cat thing, I've been, maybe every conversation I've had with a TV commissioner over the last thirty years about other stuff. At the end of it, you know, they say, you've probably been in this situation because. You do lots of stuff, you're a pop star, but you also create all sorts of stuff. They say, have you got any other ideas? Right, at the end of it. And I always say, yeah, there should be a TV show about cats. And they're like, ha, ha, ha, that's a joke, right? And like, no, no, you know, there are always TV shows about dogs, like endlessly.

• 9:14Jessie Ware?

  Yeah.

• 9:15Speaker 03

  There's a show about dogs. The earliest television had shows about dogs in it. They've been going on since the sort of fifties and sixties. At the moment, you've got, and these are all great shows, by the way, but you've got Alison Hammond doing For the Love of Dogs, you've got Pete Wicks doing Dog Show, whatever. I remember when I was a kid, Barbara Woodhouse did shows about dogs. Never been a show about cats. It's unbelievable. Never been a show about cats. Joe Brand did a kitten rescue thing, I think, on Channel Five, and I loved Joe Brand, and that was lovely. But not a kind of proper celebration of the world's second, and actually it's getting to be first, most popular pet. And by the way, I really, really love cats.

• 9:50Jessie Ware?

  Yeah.

• 9:50Speaker 03

  I mean, it's not just like I spotted a gap in the box.

• 9:52Jessie Ware?

  Yeah, but like, name your cats for everyone.

• 9:54Speaker 03

  My cats at the moment, I sadly lost one recently. No, Chairman Meow went a long time ago.

• 9:59Jessie Ware?

  Okay.

• 10:00Speaker 03

  But the cats that we have at the moment, Pip, died at the start of the series, and she was the mum.

• 10:04Jessie Ware?

  How old was she?

• 10:06Speaker 03

  Fifteen.

• 10:07Jessie Ware?

  She was the mum of the?

• 10:08Speaker 03

  Of the ones that I have now, who are Tiger and Ron, who are brothers from her first litter, and Zelda, who is their half-sister. And who is kind of semi-feral because we gave Tiger and Ron are incredibly nice, just blokey cats, especially Tiger. Possibly the nicest being of any species I've ever met. Tiger, lovely bloke, does this a lot.

• 10:28Jessie Ware?

  I love that you call your cat a bloke.

• 10:30Speaker 03

  Oh, he's very, like, those two are very low-key. Ron is a sort of strange bloke. Tiger's a nice bloke. As part of my whole thing, my whole shtick with Cat Man is cats are very individual. They're more like humans, I think, than dogs, although I know not very much about dogs. Well, dogs are very, very nice. Well, can I, can I push back on that immediately? Tiger, what they are is like humans. So some humans are very selfish, some humans are very nice. Right, they're very individual cats. So Zelda is quite selfish, but to be fair to Zelda, Zelda was given to my mum, right? Uh, when she was a kitten, because Pip had two litters, right, because she was a bit of a slag, and she kept on having sex. And we kept on saying we must get a newt, and she would just have sex so quickly.

• 11:11Jessie Ware?

  It wasn't the, uh, the bloke's problem, was it?

• 11:13Speaker 03

  Well, it's unfair of me.

• 11:14Jessie Ware?

  Yes, that's very unfair.

• 11:16Speaker 03

  I don't know him because he's just some top cat.

• 11:18Jessie Ware?

  Well, then, my thought it was, like, okay, can you clear this up for me?

• 11:21Speaker 03

  Right.

• 11:21Jessie Ware?

  Can cats get impregnated by different?

• 11:27Jessie Ware?

  Male cats.

• 11:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:29Speaker 02

  And have all different.

• 11:30Jessie Ware?

  And have all different, so when you say.

• 11:32Speaker 03

  One litter, one litter.

• 11:33Jessie Ware?

  Can be a load of different dads.

• 11:35Speaker 03

  No, I don't think so, because I think if their biology is, and I'm not, don't quote me on this, the same as sort of all mammal biology. Even if there's, I'm sorry about it, there's quite a lot of cats bunk knocking about, it's only still one egg and one sperm that's gonna.

• 11:47Speaker 02

  But there are, there isn't one egg.

• 11:49Jessie Ware?

  My children are wrong in question.

• 11:51Speaker 02

  Can't be one egg, because you wouldn't have more than one.

• 11:53Speaker 03

  No, they're all twins, they're like twins, aren't they?

• 11:56Speaker 02

  Well, not when you have five.

• 11:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, I thought so.

• 11:59Speaker 02

  Emma Freud just.

• 12:00Jessie Ware?

  The idiots guide.

• 12:01Speaker 02

  Emma Freud's cat.

• 12:03Jessie Ware?

  Cat sex.

• 12:03Speaker 03

  I know, she's just had loads of kittens.

• 12:06Jessie Ware?

  We should do like a late night cat man about the acts.

• 12:09Speaker 03

  One thing I should be clear about cat man, uh, is I love cats, it's a big celebration of cats, I'm not an expert on cats.

• 12:15Speaker 02

  No, absolutely not.

• 12:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, and we do in fact speak to a cat behaviourist and a cat historian, but we don't clear up any of these mysteries.

• 12:23Jessie Ware?

  Can we just like AI Google this shit about.

• 12:25Speaker 02

  Emma's a vet.

• 12:26Jessie Ware?

  Can be.

• 12:26Speaker 03

  Emma Freud is a vet.

• 12:27Speaker 02

  No, Emma, my niece.

• 12:30Speaker 03

  I was used to me.

• 12:31Jessie Ware?

  Emma Freud loves a cat, though.

• 12:32Speaker 03

  No, she loves a cat, and she should have been on the show, but we couldn't, we had already got so many people, because it turns out there's a huge, you know, bubbling, whatever, of people who want to talk about cats, who've never got the chance on, don't they?

• 12:42Jessie Ware?

  You did have Jonathan Ross on, who was less interested in cats.

• 12:45Speaker 03

  That's true, but I wanted with Jonathan to talk a little bit about the cat versus dog thing, because he's got loads and loads of dogs, but he also, less well known, I knew it, always had Bengal's as well, cats. And so I, I wanted to have him on to talk a bit about that. Um, hang on, so have we, anyway, Zelda, I just want to finish.

• 13:00Jessie Ware?

  Zelda, yeah, finish, sorry, and then we're gonna clear up.

• 13:03Speaker 03

  So Zelda may or may not be Ronald Tiger's half-sister, I think she is, uh, and we gave her as a kitten, because we already had enough cats, to my mum. Then my mum sadly died, then my dad sadly got dementia, and the cat Zelda basically lived with another cat called Connie. In the garden whilst the carers, he looked after my dad because he never went into a home, he was looked after by carers at home.

• 13:24Speaker 02

  Take note, Justin.

• 13:24Speaker 03

  Had so much on their hands with my mad dad who didn't go into, he was, I've talked about this a lot though. He basically had a type of dementia which meant he turned into a very extreme shouty swear-y version of himself, not a quiet man. Uh, they had so much on their hands, they just let the cats live in the garden and they fed them. So when Zelda came back to us when my dad died. It wasn't like a, you know, long lost family. It was like, unless I've missed an episode of long lost family where the mum hisses at the daughter and. Chased her under the cupboard. It was carnage and and it kind of remains carnage in the house between Zelda and the other two cats. Although they sort of tolerate each other now, but for a long time, she had to live upstairs. And I'll finish this with just a very nice thing, which is that Muenner, my wife, who.

• 14:06Speaker 03

  Loves cats but not like I do, has totally fallen in love with Zelda because Zelda now sleeps on our bed. And my wife has had the opportunity to fix this broken biscuit of a cat with love and tenderness and it's very, very sweet, although she bites me a lot, not Muenner, Zelda.

• 14:20Speaker 02

  All your cats, all your cats neutered now?

• 14:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, they're all neutered.

• 14:24Speaker 02

  You don't, you don't.

• 14:25Speaker 03

  No, I love about five hundred kittens, but you just, you just can't do that, can you?

• 14:29Jessie Ware?

  Okay, I'm just, I just need to clear up how cats like, can it, because I think we all need to know this now.

• 14:33Speaker 03

  We do need to know.

• 14:34Jessie Ware?

  Do cats can have kittens from one, what did you put? One egg? No.

• 14:39Speaker 03

  Oh, no.

• 14:40Jessie Ware?

  Kittens in a litter usually come from multiple eggs, not just one, and they can even have different fathers.

• 14:45Speaker 03

  Okay, in one litter.

• 14:47Jessie Ware?

  Super fecundation, it's called.

• 14:49Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 14:49Speaker 02

  Fertility, darling.

• 14:51Jessie Ware?

  Okay, fine.

• 14:51Speaker 03

  Okay, so, so that's really interesting. I didn't know that and me and my daughter spent ages trying to work out.

• 14:56Jessie Ware?

  Did you not just bloody Google it?

• 14:58Speaker 02

  You see there was one little black one and the rest were ginger.

• 15:01Jessie Ware?

  Because a female cat, go on.

• 15:03Speaker 03

  That was because Pitt was many colours and her husband would have been many colours. Dolly, whose cat was Pitt, rather hoped. That it was the same cat, the same male cat for both litters, not many, many different ones in the one litter.

• 15:16Jessie Ware?

  This is interesting because a female cat releases several eggs over a few days. With each mating potentially triggering ovulation and fertilization by different male sperm.

• 15:26Speaker 03

  Right, okay.

• 15:27Jessie Ware?

  While identical twins from a single egg are possible, most kittens in a litter are like fraternal twins, developing from separate fertilized eggs.

• 15:34Speaker 03

  Oh, wow. So Ron and Tiger might not even be brothers.

• 15:37Jessie Ware?

  I hate to break that to you. Oh, they are brothers.

• 15:40Speaker 03

  Half brothers, they might be half brothers.

• 15:41Jessie Ware?

  But they've got different dads.

• 15:42Speaker 02

  They were all in the same womb, though.

• 15:44Speaker 03

  They were definitely all in the same womb. Yeah, there was no IVF or whatever going on with her. But I'll tell you one thing, which makes me wonder if it was the same dad, or is that Pip is polydactyl, or was polydactyl, by which I mean, she has more than five digits on her paws. She has about six. Ron, I think, has seven. Ernest Hemingway only had polydactyl cats, and he had thirty-eight cats, something like that.

• 16:06Jessie Ware?

  Why did he only have them?

• 16:07Speaker 03

  He liked the idea of polydactyl cats. They have got a certain personality, I think.

• 16:10Jessie Ware?

  Oh, really?

• 16:11Speaker 02

  How many of yours gone?

• 16:13Jessie Ware?

  I think they're just like basic four.

• 16:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:15Jessie Ware?

  Like basic four.

• 16:16Speaker 03

  I think Ron, I'll show you a picture of him in a bit. Ron has got the most massive paws and can open things and whatever.

• 16:22Jessie Ware?

  He's like a boxer, isn't he?

• 16:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, sort of like baseball gloves.

• 16:24Jessie Ware?

  Yeah.

• 16:25Speaker 03

  And he's got, I think, maybe seven digits on his hands. And so that's a genetic thing, right? It was carried through from the mum. So that could suggest that it was only one.

• 16:35Speaker 02

  David, do you get people getting in touch with you who've got cat fetishes?

• 16:39Speaker 03

  Well, just recently it's happening. What do you mean by fetishes?

• 16:42Speaker 02

  I'll tell you where I was in LA with Hannah.

• 16:45Jessie Ware?

  I'm loving this episode.

• 16:46Speaker 02

  I went into this manicure place.

• 16:50Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 16:50Speaker 02

  And there was the girl, and she had a nose, she'd had her eyebrows done, and little things in her head, and she looked like a cat. She was a catwoman. And I looked at her, I thought she was in fancy dress or something. She wasn't. She was dressed as if she was a cat. And she'd altered, she'd had some plastic surgery to make herself look like a cat.

• 17:11Jessie Ware?

  This is in like the local nail salon?

• 17:12Speaker 02

  Yes, her local nail. And she'd had some implants here to make.

• 17:16Speaker 03

  Well, I talk a bit in the show about the attractiveness of cats. I thought, I think in the show too, I say that they're so beautiful, and we think they're very beautiful. But is that weird? Is that weird that as a species, we're kind of attracted to another species? And that might be this woman's thing. It's a cat's very beautiful.

• 17:31Jessie Ware?

  You need to get her if you get it reconditioned.

• 17:33Speaker 02

  I'll tell you.

• 17:34Jessie Ware?

  You need to go to this nail salon.

• 17:35Speaker 02

  It's M for nails in Eagle Rock.

• 17:38Speaker 03

  A deal with the bat shit cat people.

• 17:40Jessie Ware?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 17:40Speaker 02

  But when I looked at her, I didn't even know what to say. I could barely speak. I kind of said, oh, I felt like saying.

• 17:46Speaker 03

  Was it definitely cat?

• 17:47Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, definitely had her face altered. No, it was definitely had her face altered.

• 17:52Jessie Ware?

  Had she not just had a really bad brow lip?

• 17:53Speaker 02

  No, you know how those some people get horns put in, like she'd had the.

• 17:58Speaker 03

  Devil people.

• 17:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, devil people. That she she'd had her face altered and then she'd got whiskers and everything put on.

• 18:06Speaker 03

  Really?

• 18:07Speaker 02

  It was so bizarre.

• 18:08Jessie Ware?

  You need to get to that lady.

• 18:09Speaker 03

  I do, but I'm not as fanatical about cats as that one.

• 18:12Speaker 02

  But I bet people are going to start, all the cat fetish people will.

• 18:16Jessie Ware?

  But what do you, when you say cat fetish, what are you thinking about?

• 18:19Speaker 02

  I think people who want to be cats, you know, there are people that dress like cats and they're known in meow, you know, if you identify as a cat.

• 18:27Jessie Ware?

  What website are you on, Lenny?

• 18:28Speaker 02

  No, they they have this at Emma's school where a child that identified as a cat and only meowed.

• 18:35Speaker 03

  There was some news about that. I'm not sure I believed it. It's one of those things, identification or whatever. But I mean, you know, a child deciding they want to be a cat, I think that happens like for about two days.

• 18:46Speaker 02

  I'm just going to sort a few things.

• 18:47Jessie Ware?

  My kids haven't been original enough to like, they're just.

• 18:50Speaker 03

  My my children love the cats. Actually, the cats are a massive, massive part of our family. We would sort of discuss what we talk about the most in our family the other day, and it's like, number one is the cats.

• 19:01Jessie Ware?

  That's so lovely. When did you, so did you start getting cats when you had children?

• 19:07Speaker 03

  No, no, I grew up with cats. So the one of the reasons that I'm obsessed with cats is that I had a very weird family upbringing, which I talk about in my book. And I did a show about it as well, because basically my mum was having an affair with a golfing memorabilia salesman and transformed her house over to golf memorabilia. And meanwhile, my dad was a kind of mad Welsh working class bloke. He refused to accept this was happening. And so there was a lot of like weird emotional sort of things that were wrong going on in my house. But a place that was clearly a site of just pure affection, and particularly for my dad. He was like, couldn't show affection to us or to his wife, was towards the cat. Fomphur, as she was called.

• 19:47Jessie Ware?

  Fomphur?

• 19:47Speaker 03

  Fomphur, yeah, it was my dad's word for purring, basically. It was kind of an onomatopoeic word for purring. So he would pick her up and say, oh, you're fomphuring, you're fomphuring, aren't you? And it's kind of Jewish-ish.

• 20:00Jessie Ware?

  Is it like Yiddish?

• 20:01Speaker 03

  It's not Yiddish, it's a word he made up, but it's got Yiddish.

• 20:04Jessie Ware?

  I like it.

• 20:04Speaker 03

  Element, oh, it's great. And fomphur was really like the only part of our house that felt like, oh, there's pure affection here. And that's, I think, what got me really, really into cats.

• 20:15Jessie Ware?

  Do you think, I mean, forgive me for kind of psychoanalyzing as well, but like, you're, you started as a comedian, obviously incredibly intelligent.

• 20:24Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 20:25Jessie Ware?

  Cambridge, lots of firsts, double for whatever, you know, brain box, all of that.

• 20:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:30Jessie Ware?

  But like, being funny in the house.

• 20:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:32Jessie Ware?

  Isn't there a correlation with when you want to entertain and make people laugh, maybe because it was a tough time in your house, maybe, or not?

• 20:39Speaker 03

  I think, well, my, my stuff about my family that I've talked about. Particularly the book, it's called My, My, My Family, The Memoir, is, I think, a sort of, it's a love letter to a very damaged upbringing. So it's not like a misery memoir, it's about how funny it was there. And it's a kind of celebration of having a very, very damaged upbringing. And in that way, it's very different from, say, Spare by Prince Harry, for example. It's, it, it sort of loves how ridiculous it was in my house. And the thing that gives me the ability to do that is comedy. Uh, there's a quote at the front by Julian Barrett, who used to be in the Mighty Boosh, which is to really take the piss out of something, you have to love it.

• 21:23Speaker 03

  And I, I very, very fundamentally believe that and think that we live in a time where comedy is constantly being like, people frame it in completely the wrong way. Because most of the time, people are not, when they laugh, they're not weaponising something, they're enjoying something. And so when I talk about my family, I'm mainly loving the fact that I can laugh about it. But without that, yeah, I'd be very fucked up.

• 21:47Jessie Ware?

  How did your family feel about the memoir?

• 21:50Speaker 03

  Well, they were both dead, my parents, when I wrote it. Iva, my brother, said, because I talked to him about it. I did, it was a show, actually. I did the show first. I did it in West End for two runs. It was just after my mum died. And my mum died quite suddenly. And I said to my brother, I want to do a whole stuff about, particularly about her and the golfing memorabilia love. She was deeply in love with this golfing memorabilia salesman. And then.

• 22:12Jessie Ware?

  Did you meet him?

• 22:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, he was there all the time. He was at my house all the time. Came to my bar mitzvah. David White, he's recently done.

• 22:19Speaker 02

  Who did you, your mum describe him as at the web, at the bar mitzvah?

• 22:22Speaker 03

  No, no, I knew him by then. He was around all the time. He was endlessly around at our house. I've got, the book begins with me being taught golf by him. But in the back garden, I sort of deliberately make the book sound like it could be worse than it. Because I said, there's this strange man behind me and he's holding my hips. And I don't really know what's going on. And then I say, this isn't, don't worry, it's not, it's not a, it's not abuse or not a straightforward type of abuse. He's trying to teach me how to play golf.

• 22:47Jessie Ware?

  What was your theme for your bar mitzvah?

• 22:50Speaker 03

  Theme?

• 22:50Jessie Ware?

  Yeah.

• 22:51Speaker 03

  I didn't have a theme. I was in like nineteen seventy, whatever, I'm still nineteen sixty four, I was born. So nineteen seventy eight.

• 22:58Jessie Ware?

  Did you get to choose the spread?

• 22:59Speaker 03

  No, we, we didn't have the money for that sort of thing. Basically, I got, I don't remember much about it, except it was at the St John's Wood New London Synagogue.

• 23:11Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, nice.

• 23:12Speaker 03

  Thank you. Mufteh and Haftora. Does this mean anything to anyone? You, do you know what that means?

• 23:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, just the Haftora Messer two years ago.

• 23:22Speaker 03

  Okay, so we are talking about Jewish stuff. And I was thinking, I was thinking to myself, no, no, it's not a bad thing. It's a good thing. But I was thinking, is it going to be Jewish food? And for anyone who doesn't know, these are latkes. That's smoked salmon. And this is salt beef, right?

• 23:36Jessie Ware?

  Yes.

• 23:37Speaker 03

  Or brisket, is it salt beef or brisket? Brisket, yeah. And so, well done. You've gone, you've gone top Jew with the food. You really have. I really want the latkes, I can't really.

• 23:46Jessie Ware?

  They look really good.

• 23:47Speaker 03

  I can't have these near me anymore without eating.

• 23:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, do it. You just keep eating, take loads.

• 23:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's amazing. What's this, a lump fish?

• 23:53Speaker 02

  That's some caviar.

• 23:55Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 23:55Jessie Ware?

  Mum, he has got like a fluffy net about them.

• 23:58Speaker 02

  Just have chai.

• 23:59Speaker 03

  So my daughter made latkes.

• 24:00Speaker 02

  What do you think?

• 24:01Jessie Ware?

  I'm good.

• 24:01Speaker 02

  I know.

• 24:02Jessie Ware?

  I know they're good.

• 24:03Speaker 03

  I'm sure they're good. Do you make luckers like?

• 24:06Jessie Ware?

  No, because in series one of the of the podcast and it created so much noise.

• 24:12Speaker 02

  They're really good luckers.

• 24:14Jessie Ware?

  They are.

• 24:15Speaker 02

  This is definitely my best ever, but I cooked them over two days and froze them.

• 24:20Speaker 03

  They're amazing.

• 24:21Speaker 02

  Because I couldn't.

• 24:21Jessie Ware?

  That's a bit of juris guilt there for you. She just to let you know, she she did take two days on these days. Just in case you weren't aware of that.

• 24:28Speaker 02

  And I did wear my shower cap.

• 24:29Speaker 03

  They they're just so good because they've been marinated for two days.

• 24:32Jessie Ware?

  They're so good.

• 24:34Speaker 03

  I mean, food is a big deal in our house. Um let me try the brisket. Brisket, I mean, what's the difference between brisket and salt beef? I don't really know the difference.

• 24:40Speaker 02

  Salt beef for any.

• 24:41Speaker 03

  It is salt.

• 24:42Speaker 02

  And actually, it's from M and S.

• 24:44Speaker 03

  Oh, is it? You didn't make this?

• 24:45Speaker 02

  I didn't. I couldn't find salt beef locally. We live in the diaspora.

• 24:51Jessie Ware?

  I now have so much like salt beef in my teeth.

• 24:53Speaker 03

  My best salt beef or pastrami and stuff I've had has.

• 24:56Jessie Ware?

  Where?

• 24:56Speaker 03

  Is is in New York.

• 24:58Jessie Ware?

  Mm hmm.

• 24:58Speaker 03

  I know it's a cliche, but Cats, you know that deli in New York? It is amazing. The pastrami and and salt beef, if you get that.

• 25:05Speaker 02

  You like Rus and Daughter, don't you?

• 25:07Jessie Ware?

  I prefer Rus and Daughters.

• 25:08Speaker 03

  Where's that?

• 25:09Jessie Ware?

  New York.

• 25:10Speaker 03

  Rus and Daughters. I don't know it.

• 25:12Jessie Ware?

  But Cats, like, it's, you're basically getting a whole cow.

• 25:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know, I like that.

• 25:17Jessie Ware?

  Crazy, isn't it?

• 25:18Speaker 03

  I like that. I like the sort of wobbly, enormous cuts of meat that they carve off. I shouldn't because for years and years and years, particularly because my daughter's a vegan, I've like thought I should be vegan. It's definitely right. It's the right thing. And then I eat a cat sandwich and it's gone. I'm sorry. I I basically in my in my head totally think I should be a vegan and in my stomach, I fail.

• 25:41Jessie Ware?

  But do you eat at home quite vegetarian, vegan? Because you don't really, do you cook?

• 25:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, I cook, but my children are such good cooks. My son is a professional cook now.

• 25:53Jessie Ware?

  Where does he work? Are we allowed to say?

• 25:55Speaker 03

  So he works at Moro.

• 25:56Speaker 02

  Oh, wow, it's my favourite.

• 25:58Speaker 03

  No, he's really good, like head of the grill at Moro. He's twenty.

• 26:02Jessie Ware?

  That's amazing.

• 26:03Speaker 03

  Actually, he's twenty one now, but he was twenty when that started.

• 26:06Speaker 02

  Do you go there a lot?

• 26:07Speaker 03

  Quite a lot. And actually, he'll he'll slip me food, sort of, sometimes like I don't I don't have to like go for a whole meal. He'll, I'll just stand at the counter and slip me food.

• 26:16Jessie Ware?

  What is a memorable dish from your childhood?

• 26:18Speaker 03

  Well, my mum was a terrible cook. I didn't know that until I tried other food. And that was probably not till I was quite old. Like when I was about fourteen.

• 26:28Jessie Ware?

  This is the avocado that changed your life.

• 26:30Speaker 03

  My mate Dave Gavred, who's in a band called The Sundays, you know The Sundays?

• 26:33Jessie Ware?

  I don't.

• 26:34Speaker 03

  You should listen to them. They were, they were a really, really like amazing, big indie band in the nineties. They did three albums and they decided to just stop. They just didn't wanna do it. They didn't wanna be kind of a huge indie band, although they're really great. Um, and, uh, Dave, who I was in a band with him when I was young.

• 26:54Jessie Ware?

  What did you play?

• 26:55Speaker 03

  I played guitar and piano. And.

• 26:58Jessie Ware?

  You write hit songs?

• 26:59Speaker 03

  Um, yeah, well, I co, I've co-written the lyrics to a hit song, which is good. But Ian Brody, you know, he's the music, musical genius of that song. But.

• 27:06Jessie Ware?

  Yeah.

• 27:07Speaker 03

  Anyway, Dave Gavrin, so we lived in what I would say is a slightly grim, lower middle-class house in Dollis Hill. Dave, my mate, lived in a nicer house in Wembley Park. And he gave me an avocado when I was about fifteen and honestly, it was like a eureka moment for me. I'd never tasted anything like it. I didn't really know they could exist. Or that a type of taste like that could exist. And my mum, Oliver Shallow, God rest her soul, you know, she wasn't a great cook. And she mainly did a soup. And, and you know Jewish mothers' chicken soup? I love a nice chicken soup. My mum's was an enormous vat of water. That every so often she would throw in like a claw, a claw and some barley and she'd dish that up and call it chicken soup.

• 27:51Speaker 03

  And all the meat she ever cooked was like, it'd been cooked for like five days and it was so dry.

• 27:57Jessie Ware?

  Boiled.

• 27:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, boiled or whatever. But I didn't know when I was a kid. I just thought this is what food is.

• 28:03Jessie Ware?

  It's difficult.

• 28:04Speaker 03

  There was a thing that people used to say, or at least my auntie Ruth used to say. Which was quite old because Auntie Ruth was not an auntie. She was about the only person in my parent's circle who wasn't Jewish. She was so not Jewish, she'd been in the Hitler Youth when she was young. But Auntie Ruth, very nice woman. Used to say, when my mum used to do dinners. She would say when the potatoes came out, oh, she was German, oh, she's made those potatoes again. And that's an interesting thing to say because it could mean they're good or bad. Do you know what I mean? It's like when you go backstage and you say you've done it again, because, you know, it could mean anything. And she was a bit like that with my mum's potatoes because they were questionable. What my mum did was cut them really small and then bake them for too long. So they were crunchy, but you know, roast potato, she'd be crunchy on the outside.

• 28:49Speaker 02

  But fluffy.

• 28:50Speaker 03

  No fluff, there's no fluff in my mum.

• 28:52Speaker 02

  It was just hard.

• 28:52Speaker 03

  Just crunch, just hard crunch, yeah.

• 28:55Speaker 02

  Well, she made an effort though. She tried.

• 28:57Speaker 03

  Honestly, she tried and, and, you know, I'm, I'm fond of the memory of my mum's cooking, even though it was terrible. So, but I love food now.

• 29:13Speaker 00

  At Humana, our Medicare Advantage plans are easy to understand and easy on your wallet. Like offering more benefits than you'd get from original Medicare alone, and including dental, vision and hearing coverage in every plan. And the best part is every plan has a zero dollar or low monthly plan premium, which makes it easier to save too. So this Medicare planning season, plan well with Humana. Learn more at gethumana.com. Humana is a Medicare Advantage HMO and PPO organisation with a Medicare contract. Enrollment in any Humana plan depends on contract renewal.

• 29:50Jessie Ware?

  Do you like to eat out?

• 29:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:52Speaker 02

  Um, you like a curry?

• 29:53Speaker 03

  I love a curry. Curry's probably my favourite.

• 29:55Jessie Ware?

  Are we allowed to say where your favourite curry is?

• 29:57Speaker 02

  Did you go to Tyabs?

• 29:59Speaker 03

  Pardon?

• 29:59Jessie Ware?

  No, that's not near him.

• 30:01Speaker 02

  No, he goes to one on the commercial, near Commercial Road.

• 30:04Speaker 03

  Uh, there is one on the Commercial Road. I really, really like this, the Haw Kebab House. I haven't been there for ages. I used to love that.

• 30:09Jessie Ware?

  What was your order?

• 30:10Speaker 03

  The Haw Kebab House. The Haw Kebab House, they mainly have just like that, or they did in my day, sort of like, it's like a canteen, and you just say that one, and it would normally be like a lamb madras or something. There's a place called Dar's near me that is really good. And there's about four or five, there's another one called Rajdo. I mean, there's been a thing in recent years, which is Deliveroo and Uber Eats, which means I don't go out to eat as much as much I used to, because it's very nice. Every Saturday, we do that as a family.

• 30:36Jessie Ware?

  What's, what was your last Saturday order?

• 30:39Speaker 03

  It was Chinese, actually.

• 30:40Jessie Ware?

  Well, what's your order on a Chinese? I'm really getting into Chinese now.

• 30:43Speaker 03

  Chinese, I have gone from very standard stuff, duck and blah, blah, blah. To, do you know, there's some Chinese restaurants, which are normally their menu is in Chinese, and they'll have dishes that are called things like umbrella clouds with puffing juice. Have you ever seen that?

• 30:59Speaker 02

  I've never seen that.

• 30:59Speaker 03

  No, not, I'm making it up, not, not that specifically.

• 31:02Jessie Ware?

  Yeah.

• 31:02Speaker 03

  There, like, there's something called Chairman Mao's pork, for example.

• 31:05Speaker 02

  Okay, I've never seen that.

• 31:06Speaker 03

  Chairman Mao's twice cooked pork, which is, which is, that's a real, definitely a real thing, which is this kind of red, it's the use of type of sugar, my son can make it, and it's cubed pork, and apparently it's Chairman Mao's favourite. I don't know about Chairman Meow, who was one of my cats, uh, but she would have liked it, because cats like all food. But, so I like to try and find really unusual food that Chinese restaurants cook, not the kind of Anglo-Chinese version of it.

• 31:31Jessie Ware?

  Been hit and miss?

• 31:32Speaker 03

  It's sometimes hit and miss, yeah.

• 31:33Speaker 02

  We, we had Harlan Coben on the podcast.

• 31:36Speaker 03

  I know Harlan, he's a very nice bloke, lovely bloke.

• 31:39Speaker 02

  Gorgeous, and he talked about Golden China, which is a place in New Jersey.

• 31:45Jessie Ware?

  But it's not there.

• 31:46Speaker 02

  And his mum was a terrible cook, and it was, what was it, prawns and oyster sauce, and he said he's never been able to recreate it, or get the same thing again.

• 31:56Speaker 03

  Okay, in the same way, um, and this is, I don't know, this isn't winky, I think this is all right. Um, probably the best, maybe the best meal I've ever had, something about a Chinese meal I've ever had. Yeah, so I did a show for Discovery, that you won't have watched, called David Baddiel on the Silk Road, where I went from Xi'an in China to Istanbul, talking about the Silk Road, something I knew nothing about when I started it, but I sort of learnt about it on the way, and it was brilliant, it was a four-part series. Anyway, I was in Xi'an, which is in the middle of China, um, and we were in a sort of market. And we were getting a lot of attention because we had a camera.

• 32:28Jessie Ware?

  Um.

• 32:29Speaker 03

  And suddenly I got pulled away, like someone literally was just pulling me away. And speaking in Chinese, I didn't know it was a woman, I know what she was saying. And I thought at first, am I being kidnapped? This is it, it's over. Uh, but then I realised, no, she's a sort of middle aged woman, and she seems nice, even though I don't know what she's saying. So I said, yeah, fine. And I just went with her. And I told the cameras to follow. I didn't know what at all what she wanted. And what she wanted was to give me lunch. Uh, she had, she had like a cafe in the middle of this market. Area, really tight, loads, loads of people, and they're all following me. And then she, she took me into her cafe and sat me down and gave me a bowl of noodles. With chili and huge skewers of meat that her sons were barbecuing. And to this day, I think that's the best food I've ever had. It was so incredible.

• 33:12Jessie Ware?

  Your Anthony Bourdain moment.

• 33:14Speaker 03

  It was really Anthony Bourdain. It was so amazing. And she never said anything I understood, by the way. She only spoke Chinese, she didn't speak any English. Um, I think we did have someone who spoke Chinese on the team, obviously, but she wasn't interested in talking to them. What she wanted was for me to taste her food on camera and say, this is amazing.

• 33:30Jessie Ware?

  Clever woman, yes.

• 33:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was.

• 33:33Jessie Ware?

  Do you remember the name of the place or no?

• 33:35Speaker 03

  Of course not, no, but I do remember the taste. I remember the taste. It was so amazing.

• 33:39Jessie Ware?

  Do you still enjoy making telly?

• 33:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, I remember Catman.

• 33:42Jessie Ware?

  Yeah.

• 33:43Speaker 03

  I mean, I've just done this drama, right, for Channel Four, and I really enjoyed that.

• 33:46Jessie Ware?

  Are we allowed to talk about it?

• 33:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, of course. It's called, it's been announced. It's called Hunting Alice Bell. Uh, and it's a psychological thriller with Simon Pegg in it and, um, do you know Alexandra Roach, this incredible Welsh actress?

• 33:57Jessie Ware?

  Probably, maybe.

• 33:58Speaker 03

  And Amanda Addington, and it's got, it's about that, the premise of that, I'll tell you very quickly. Is there was a woman, this is a woman called Maxine Carr. Does that name ring any, ring any bells to you?

• 34:07Jessie Ware?

  Carr?

• 34:08Speaker 03

  Yes, Maxine Carr was Ian Huntley's lover.

• 34:11Jessie Ware?

  Yes, yeah, yeah, right.

• 34:12Speaker 03

  And she gave him an alibi in the early two thousands.

• 34:14Jessie Ware?

  Yeah.

• 34:15Speaker 03

  And she went to prison for about two years. And then when she came out of prison. As as is now happening, she lives somewhere in Britain under a fake.

• 34:22Jessie Ware?

  A different name.

• 34:23Speaker 03

  She's the only non murderer in in the history of criminology in Britain to be given a fake identity because she was so vilified by the press. And her life is under so much threat. Anyway, I saw a documentary many years ago about the fact that random women are occasionally targeted for being Maxine Carr.

• 34:39Jessie Ware?

  Wow.

• 34:40Speaker 03

  That, you know, someone in Scunthorpe, sorry, I don't mean Scunthorpe, but anywhere, somewhere in a small town in Britain. Will randomly wake up one day and everyone will have decided for no reason that they are Maxine Carr. So in my story. It's a completely different type of crime. It's more like a Harold Shipman type of crime and Simon Pegg's playing an anesthetist. Who just kills people because he's kind of got a god complex. And he has a lover who's his theatre nurse called Alice Bell, and she's managed to stop the police from getting close to him for a bit with an alibi. And all that's happened before it starts. And then she comes out of prison, but you don't see her properly. She's under a blanket. And 10 years later, a woman is just putting her kids to bed and a brick comes through her window and it becomes clear.

• 35:19Speaker 03

  That the town that she's in has decided that she's Alice Bell for no apparent reason, although the internet is fuelling it and blah, blah, blah. And she's about to flee from this town with her kids and have a husband. When Amanda Abington in fact appears and says, this is happening to me too in Scarborough. And then there turns out there are five women it's happening to. And they kind of come out fighting and like turn into women fighting back against misogyny and disinformation and the mob. But in episode two, they start to think that one of them is Alice Bell.

• 35:46Jessie Ware?

  Oh my god, it's like Traitors.

• 35:48Speaker 03

  It's like Traitor. It's so funny you said that because I wrote it originally, I wrote it as a movie before it was a drama. About 10 years ago and.

• 35:56Jessie Ware?

  Were you playing a lot of Mafia at that time?

• 35:58Speaker 03

  What?

• 35:59Jessie Ware?

  Mafia is like the original, like Traitors.

• 36:02Speaker 03

  I wasn't.

• 36:03Jessie Ware?

  Right.

• 36:03Speaker 03

  I I just had the idea of seeing this trial on this documentary I saw about the women it was really happening to. But then, as we literally, as we were sort of really giving up to make it, Traitors is becoming such a big thing.

• 36:14Jessie Ware?

  Were you happy about that or annoyed?

• 36:16Speaker 03

  Both.

• 36:16Jessie Ware?

  Okay.

• 36:17Speaker 03

  So I'm annoyed because as a writer, you don't want to think you've written a drama. A psychological thriller based on a game show, which we totally haven't. At the same time, it's not a bad brand.

• 36:28Jessie Ware?

  No.

• 36:28Speaker 03

  For a drama.

• 36:29Jessie Ware?

  People are liking it.

• 36:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly. So I've, yeah, it's kind of good and bad. So I made that over the summer. And it's been made for quite a low budget because telly's just got tiny budgets now. It's like under a million. So it was really, really hard work, but it was really great, but it was unbelievably hard. And then I went straight on to Catman. And then in terms of answering the question like, do you enjoy making telly? It was brilliant.

• 36:51Jessie Ware?

  It was like R and R.

• 36:53Speaker 03

  Brilliant. I like, this is brilliant. I'm being paid to hang out with cats.

• 36:56Jessie Ware?

  Yeah.

• 36:56Speaker 03

  That is fantastic.

• 36:58Jessie Ware?

  Yeah, I mean.

• 36:59Speaker 03

  And meet really interesting and unusual cats.

• 37:01Jessie Ware?

  Cat influencers.

• 37:02Speaker 03

  Cats that paddleboard, you know, cats that go to hospitals to help people.

• 37:06Jessie Ware?

  Did you ask Harlan Cobham for any tips on how to make it as stressful as possible for your thriller, you know, drama?

• 37:15Speaker 03

  I didn't. I should have done because Harlan Cobham came. We screened my documentary Jews Don't Cower in New York. And Harlan came, which is very sweet of him. Um, but I didn't ask him. I should have asked him.

• 37:25Jessie Ware?

  You should have. Well, maybe you'll just get, maybe this is your only thing.

• 37:28Speaker 03

  Like, I could do that and then I'd get eight Netflix series, like, whatever it is.

• 37:32Jessie Ware?

  Um, we ask every guest, Last Supper.

• 37:35Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 37:35Jessie Ware?

  You're not gonna die.

• 37:37Speaker 03

  Well, I'm not gonna be Jesus.

• 37:39Jessie Ware?

  No, well.

• 37:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:40Jessie Ware?

  Um, I, so you're gonna go to a desert island for a very long time. What would be your starter, your main, your pudding, your drink of choice?

• 37:48Speaker 03

  Wow. Well, I might mix and match. I don't know if anyone else has done this. But I mean, what I mean by mix and match is it wouldn't be just one genre.

• 37:55Jessie Ware?

  That's fine.

• 37:55Speaker 03

  So I think starter, if it's my last meal, I'm gonna have to go for full English breakfast. Now, I know that will slightly screw up the rest of it.

• 38:03Speaker 02

  I didn't know you were gonna have that. No, and I know from following you.

• 38:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:07Speaker 02

  I sound like, I mean, it's Kathy Bates. I know. About black pudding, there's a big.

• 38:12Speaker 03

  Well, no, about breakfast. So I did this. I was on tour, um, on my last tour, there was one before. And I noticed a thing, which is not a very original thing to notice, but if you're on tour in Britain and you're in hotels and you're Marriott, the first thing that you smell and you see when you come down is full English breakfast. And if you're like me, that's very difficult to resist. So I was literally eating it every day, which is really bad for me. Oh, yeah. God, look at me.

• 38:36Speaker 02

  No, you look fabulous.

• 38:37Speaker 03

  Well, thank you. You're very kind. But meanwhile, yes, and also my arteries probably went, but, but what I noticed was if I put a picture of a full English breakfast on the internet, on social media, people go mad, like the full English breakfast police are like, the eggs are touching the beans and you should put that, use the sausage as a breakwater and you should, and that black pudding hasn't been cooked for long enough. People go absolutely.

• 38:59Jessie Ware?

  You've got really peculiar fans.

• 39:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's just the internet, isn't it? It's a basic bitch.

• 39:03Jessie Ware?

  The internet is a basic bitch. I love that. Well, you, you, but you are. You are kind of brilliant with the internet, like you.

• 39:12Speaker 03

  I I used to.

• 39:14Jessie Ware?

  Still on X, aren't you, or Twitter?

• 39:16Speaker 03

  Uh yeah, I I'm so for about five years, I decided. The thing to do with trolls and whatever is to treat them like hecklers. Um and because that is my background, and my background is if someone you don't know shouts abuse at you in the dark, you make it funny. You put them down by making it funny. So I would constantly do that. And I've built a show out of it. My my last stand up show was called Trolls, Not the Dolls. And it was based on all the sort of ways I'd put people down. Who were trolls and and a kind of larger thing about how we live now and why we live in this abusive culture. But I think now it's kind of so out of control. This the sort of overton window of what you can say on X in particular has been so smashed.

• 40:00Speaker 03

  By Elon Musk, so it's so full of neo Nazis and terrible, terrible stuff, that it's kind of not worth doing that anymore. There was a point where it was kind of funny, and now I'm not sure it is funny. And also, I've got the show. I've done that show. I don't want to do it anymore. So I'm still on Instagram and I still occasionally post a breakfast. But to get back to the food. If I was having my last meal, I would think, and this is very me, because there's a tiny part of me that always thinks, how can I maximize my pleasure in all times? Even though this wouldn't work together, I would think I have to eat all the food. That I love because I'm never going to eat again. And one of the foods I do love is full English breakfast. I really love a full English breakfast.

• 40:34Jessie Ware?

  Is your, is it full? Are you are you omitting or adding anything?

• 40:38Speaker 03

  Okay, sausage, bacon, eggs, two eggs, two sausage, two bacon, always beans. Have to have beans. Some people don't like beans. I always have to have beans.

• 40:46Jessie Ware?

  I like beans.

• 40:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, otherwise it's too dry. No, I'm not bothered about mushrooms.

• 40:50Jessie Ware?

  Tomatoes?

• 40:50Speaker 03

  Tomato, a fried tomato, but mainly for decoration.

• 40:53Jessie Ware?

  I usually think they're quite miserable.

• 40:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm not, they are miserable. I'm not really very bothered with fried tomatoes.

• 40:58Jessie Ware?

  Sort of sausage?

• 40:59Speaker 03

  Oh, well, so.

• 41:01Speaker 02

  Sausages are important.

• 41:02Speaker 03

  I don't like very posh sausages.

• 41:04Speaker 02

  No.

• 41:05Speaker 03

  So my friend Hugh Dennis, do you know Hugh Dennis? So I did a bicycling show with him quite recently. Once said this thing.

• 41:11Speaker 02

  Was that to work off the full English?

• 41:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, once said this thing, which is that you want a sausage that lies flat. On a plate. You don't want one that curves up at the ends because the flat one means it's got loads of bread in it. And it's cheap and that's what I want. I want a cheap, breadie sausage. I don't want one that's ninety nine percent. Richmond's, Richmond's vegan sausages are actually.

• 41:31Speaker 02

  I know, I've got them in the fridge.

• 41:32Speaker 03

  Oh, have you? They're really good. I love them. Uh, fried bread.

• 41:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:37Speaker 03

  Uh, I would, and tea. I'm quite curious because I basically drink more coffee, but tea with a fried English breakfast.

• 41:42Speaker 02

  You always have, do you have white bread toast or do you like sourdough?

• 41:46Speaker 03

  Well, if I, if I, no, if I'm having, well, the other thing I often have of that type is a bacon or sausage sandwich. And that's always for me, mother's pride, white bread. Yeah. I mean, probably isn't mother's pride, but white bread. I don't know if anyone can have that. That kind of sandwich with sourdough or granary is a, is a, is an obscenity.

• 42:05Speaker 02

  I agree. Brown sauce?

• 42:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, brown sauce, not.

• 42:08Speaker 02

  Not ketchup.

• 42:09Speaker 03

  No, well, actually, I think sausages, ketchup's okay. Bacon, brown sauce in a sandwich, I would say. Always brown sauce.

• 42:16Speaker 02

  I.

• 42:16Speaker 03

  I want Jonathan Ross once had, what's that bloke? Is Anthony Warrell Thompson, I think is the chef.

• 42:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:22Speaker 03

  On his programme, on his radio show, back when Jonathan had a radio show, and he asked him about what kind of sauce you would have in a bacon sandwich. And Anthony Warrell Thompson, a professional chef, said, I think tomato ketchup. And Jonathan went, you're an idiot. I remember thinking, I agree with that. No, I remember thinking, I agree with that because you've got to have brown sauce with a bacon sandwich.

• 42:40Speaker 02

  So we're starting with a full English with a cup of tea.

• 42:43Speaker 03

  It doesn't matter.

• 42:44Speaker 02

  No, it doesn't matter.

• 42:44Speaker 03

  It's my last breakfast. I've starved myself for four days.

• 42:47Speaker 02

  Yeah. And then where are we going for the main?

• 42:49Speaker 03

  Well, okay, so the main.

• 42:50Speaker 02

  You're gonna have a curry.

• 42:51Speaker 03

  I think it's gotta be curry. I think it's gotta be curry. And I think, so there's a thing I have. So I play football. Uh, believe it or not, still, seven side football, eight side football. It's not really a position. It's eight a side football. Uh, I've been playing in the same game. Uh, it's at Arsenal on a weekday night at Arsenal.

• 43:08Speaker 02

  Is Kieran your team?

• 43:10Speaker 03

  No, Keir does play.

• 43:12Jessie Ware?

  He does play.

• 43:13Speaker 03

  But no, Keir is not in the team.

• 43:16Speaker 03

  Angus Deaton, a lot of quite old comedians, Angus Deaton, Clive Anson, Hugh Dennis.

• 43:20Jessie Ware?

  Who's the best?

• 43:21Speaker 03

  Oh, of the old comedians?

• 43:23Jessie Ware?

  Yeah.

• 43:24Speaker 03

  I'm gonna say me.

• 43:25Jessie Ware?

  Are you?

• 43:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:26Jessie Ware?

  You're modest.

• 43:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, it's not true, but I'm gonna say anyway.

• 43:29Jessie Ware?

  When was your last injury?

• 43:30Speaker 03

  Hang on, but just, just to say about me being, I mean, the key thing about that game is it's been going on a long time. And what we've done now is bring in sons and young people. So my son plays, who's twenty one. And a guy called Graham Stewart, who's the producer of the Graham Norton Show, his son plays, who's like twenty seven, and they are brilliant. The sons are all like ridiculous. So the sort of.

• 43:52Jessie Ware?

  On the wing then.

• 43:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, late fifty, sixty year old bloke. We've got one bloke who's seventy seven who plays.

• 43:57Jessie Ware?

  Wow.

• 43:58Speaker 03

  And we've got like sixteen year olds and twenty two year olds playing. So it's kind of absurd, but it's really fun. Anyway, the reason I mention it is it's a very, very not game about health and it's not healthiness is underlined. We always go for a curry afterwards. And I have a particular curry that I asked for, which is a butter chicken, but spicy, because butter chicken is normally very. And I like the smoothness of a butter chicken, but not the blandness of it. So I.

• 44:23Jessie Ware?

  Bland?

• 44:23Speaker 03

  It's too bland, a butter chicken.

• 44:25Jessie Ware?

  Oh my god, it would ki- it kills me if I didn't have butter chicken.

• 44:28Speaker 03

  Oh no, I want butter. I asked it for it Madras hot. Here is my, and that is, I do that so often that other people I play with say, oh, the chicken badeal. They tell the waiter that's a chicken badeal.

• 44:38Jessie Ware?

  That's good. That sounds like a dish.

• 44:41Speaker 03

  Absolutely, it's lovely. Try it.

• 44:43Jessie Ware?

  Were you pissed off when Vindaloo came out then?

• 44:46Speaker 03

  No, not really. I, no, because we killed it. I mean, it's a good song. It's a good song.

• 44:51Jessie Ware?

  Fair enough. But like, did you think, I could have done a song about It's Not Three Lions. You're right.

• 44:56Speaker 03

  It's not. And also, one thing's about Vindaloo, I like Vindaloo. I think it's a good song.

• 44:59Jessie Ware?

  Darling.

• 44:59Speaker 03

  But it's not about football. And actually, quite a lot of the songs that are competitive with Three Lions, which are also really good, World in Motion, Vindaloo, whatever.

• 45:07Jessie Ware?

  Great.

• 45:08Speaker 03

  They're not about football. Right, the World Emotion is mainly just a song about love. It's got a rap in it.

• 45:12Speaker 02

  But it has got John Bott.

• 45:14Speaker 03

  It's got John Bott's rap in it, but the main song, which is a great song by the way.

• 45:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:17Speaker 03

  It's about love and whatever, and togetherness, which is very good, but it doesn't have lines in the song about Gary Lineker.

• 45:24Speaker 02

  Does everybody shout, does everybody shout at you go, is it coming home David?

• 45:29Speaker 03

  During a World Cup, a Biloxi World Cup, yes.

• 45:31Speaker 02

  Are you going this year? Are you splashed out?

• 45:33Speaker 03

  Not at the moment, I'm too busy, but also I've been to loads and loads of World Cups. I've been to World Cups in South Africa, Germany, Japan.

• 45:40Jessie Ware?

  Don't you feel like you could kind of have a role of like advisor, kind of like Sir Alex has, where you could kind of be in his ear and be like, listen?

• 45:47Speaker 03

  I would love that. Can you sort that for me?

• 45:49Jessie Ware?

  For morale.

• 45:49Speaker 03

  Because I'm sure Thomas Tuchel.

• 45:50Jessie Ware?

  Cole needs to be in, Jude needs to be in.

• 45:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, Thomas Tuchel would love that, I think.

• 45:53Jessie Ware?

  I just think, let's put it out there.

• 45:55Speaker 03

  I think, Jessie, you call the FA and say, I think what Thomas needs, the only thing he needs is David Baddiel telling him who to pick. He'll really go for that.

• 46:03Jessie Ware?

  You make us happier than most England World Cups made anyone, so there you go.

• 46:07Speaker 03

  Well, thank you very much.

• 46:08Jessie Ware?

  Um, right, so we've got, uh, chicken baddiel.

• 46:11Speaker 03

  Chicken baddiel, so with, probably with a naan, bit of rice, but I sort of prefer a naan, maybe like a side, bargey side dish.

• 46:18Jessie Ware?

  Yeah.

• 46:18Speaker 03

  That I probably won't eat. I basically eat a bit of it, but basically it's the main course that I'll eat. Um.

• 46:23Jessie Ware?

  Drink?

• 46:24Speaker 03

  Well, I don't drink now. Uh, I don't drink now, not for any, when I tell people I don't drink, oh, mince pies.

• 46:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm so sorry.

• 46:31Speaker 03

  It's so multicultural.

• 46:32Speaker 02

  I know, that's what I said to Jessie.

• 46:34Speaker 03

  I love it.

• 46:34Speaker 02

  It's just, sorry. Have you finished actually?

• 46:37Speaker 03

  I have finished, yeah.

• 46:38Speaker 02

  Um.

• 46:38Speaker 03

  Thank you. I hardly had any of the cabbage, didn't I?

• 46:40Jessie Ware?

  It's not, oh, did you just? I'm understanding that you don't really eat vegetables.

• 46:44Speaker 03

  I do, I like certain vegetables, avocados.

• 46:47Jessie Ware?

  Avocados.

• 46:47Speaker 03

  It's a fruit.

• 46:48Jessie Ware?

  Yeah, but like, yeah.

• 46:49Speaker 03

  And roast potatoes.

• 46:50Jessie Ware?

  Well, maybe, you know what, you, in a, you could do the latke with an avocado and it would have been quite nice.

• 46:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, that would have been lovely. Actually, I like aubergines.

• 46:58Jessie Ware?

  So we have the mince pies. This looks like a familiar mince pie to me. Mum, can you explain what's going on here?

• 47:04Speaker 02

  They're mince pies. On one side.

• 47:08Jessie Ware?

  Oh.

• 47:08Speaker 02

  There is mince meat made by your husband.

• 47:10Jessie Ware?

  Oh, yeah.

• 47:11Speaker 02

  That has lots and lots of brandy in.

• 47:13Jessie Ware?

  Which he starts in like.

• 47:14Speaker 02

  And the other side doesn't have any brandy in.

• 47:16Speaker 03

  Okay, cool.

• 47:16Speaker 02

  So I didn't know, so you can explain.

• 47:19Speaker 03

  So here's the thing, it's difficult to explain because people assume, because I'm a comedian, I'm in show business, that because I don't drink alcohol, that I must have had a terrible, terrible problem with alcohol and that if I didn't stop it, I'd be living on some waste ground by now. But none of that is true. What happened was, I used to drink. A bit, uh, and then I started to think I'm allergic to this or.

• 47:39Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 47:39Speaker 03

  I might be because I I really like particularly red wine.

• 47:43Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 47:43Speaker 03

  But if I drunk two glasses of red wine, what would happen is I would get, and sometimes when I would explain this, people would just think David is making this up. He's Jewish, he loves food too much, he's making this up.

• 47:54Speaker 02

  Drink.

• 47:54Speaker 03

  Yes, well, I think that is true, but what would happen is here, in my kind of glands here, they would start to sort of itch. Uh, weirdly and sort of like tingle with, it'd be quite painful and horrible. And here's why people didn't believe me. Cause I would say, can we have pudding as soon as possible? Because the only thing that would make it go away was pudding. Right. And we, I'd be like at the Ivy with, I don't know, some other comedians or whatever, and they would make fun of me. Because I would say, look, I need the pudding as soon as possible because I've got this tingling feeling here. And at the time I wasn't sure what it was. I just thought this happens all the time.

• 48:25Speaker 02

  Think like, oh, I need a doctor. Cause I'm having an anaphylactic shock. I need pudding.

• 48:29Speaker 03

  I need pudding. I need a tiramisu, like immediately, uh, to be injected into here. And it would get rid of it. But then I realised, oh, it's not the food. So I used to think it was just eating that brought it on. It's the drink, because there's kind of tannins and stuff in the drink that I think irritates my salivary glands. And I really didn't want to give up drink, partly because I like drinking and partly because I knew that people would think I was, I was an alcoholic.

• 48:53Speaker 02

  David, if I were you, given how much I like red wine, I'd find a tablet you could take before you drank.

• 48:58Speaker 03

  Do sometimes do that, antihistamines. I take antihistamines sometimes. Yeah, but it's kind of weird to take antihistamines before a glass of wine.

• 49:05Speaker 02

  That lactose tablet. Lactate. Lactate, people take that if they're going to have cream.

• 49:10Speaker 03

  Do that, and it does kind of work, but I can still feel something. Can I have one of these?

• 49:14Speaker 02

  You can.

• 49:15Speaker 03

  The brandy is really coming through.

• 49:17Speaker 02

  Oh, no, what's gonna happen?

• 49:19Speaker 03

  In a good way. Uh, it's just the brandy ones.

• 49:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think so. But that could be also the brandy cream.

• 49:24Speaker 03

  Oh, was it brandy cream as well?

• 49:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:25Speaker 03

  Okay, that's a lot of brandy. These are great. I haven't done pudding though. Pudding is a tough one, because I love pudding so much. So which pudding it would be?

• 49:33Speaker 02

  You can do a mezzo.

• 49:35Speaker 03

  I'd love a mezze. Yeah, do it. Can I have a mezze? Okay, so on the mezze of puddings, I think chocolate mousse. I love a chocolate mousse. Uh, I love an apple pie or an apple crumble. I quite like it cold. What about you? I don't, they always say warm it up. No, I like an apple pie, apple crumble cold. Um, I quite like um, a lemon meringue.

• 49:53Jessie Ware?

  Mmm.

• 49:54Speaker 03

  Very nice. Um, zabalione. Yeah, they're nice.

• 49:58Jessie Ware?

  I had one of them yesterday, vodka delupo.

• 50:01Speaker 03

  Was it delicious?

• 50:02Jessie Ware?

  The coffee.

• 50:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:03Jessie Ware?

  With the egg yolk and sugar.

• 50:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 50:06Jessie Ware?

  I was so excited.

• 50:07Speaker 03

  It's got coffee in it. I thought it just, I thought it was just egg.

• 50:10Speaker 02

  It's egg yolk and sugar.

• 50:11Jessie Ware?

  Oh, well, I had a coffee.

• 50:14Jessie Ware?

  Yeah, which was, I was like, that's so exciting. It was in like a glass, kind of like small in there. It was so delicious for the first four mouthfuls. And then I was like, there's so much sugar in this, like, it was quite fat.

• 50:28Speaker 03

  You know what I might also have to have on, on the mezze?

• 50:31Jessie Ware?

  Mm.

• 50:31Speaker 03

  A sour haribo.

• 50:33Speaker 02

  Oh, I love haribo.

• 50:34Speaker 03

  I love sour sweets.

• 50:36Jessie Ware?

  That's very Jerry Halliwell of you, by the way.

• 50:38Speaker 03

  That's fine.

• 50:38Jessie Ware?

  Yeah, huge. Pick a mix for her last supper.

• 50:40Speaker 03

  Did you?

• 50:41Jessie Ware?

  Yeah.

• 50:41Speaker 03

  No, but I specifically want sour sweets.

• 50:44Jessie Ware?

  What, like Tang Fastic?

• 50:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, Tang Fastic. Not the ones that are mad, the ones that call things like toxic waste.

• 50:49Jessie Ware?

  No.

• 50:49Speaker 03

  That are made for sort of seven year olds.

• 50:50Jessie Ware?

  Yeah.

• 50:51Speaker 03

  No, just a really great sour sweet. I love that.

• 50:54Jessie Ware?

  Um, before we let you go.

• 50:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:56Jessie Ware?

  I've really enjoyed meeting you and chatting.

• 50:58Speaker 03

  Absolutely lovely. I can't believe it's over.

• 51:00Jessie Ware?

  I know. Well, you can come back again. Do you want to stay the night?

• 51:03Speaker 02

  Oh, we'll start up. No, sorry. I didn't mean to.

• 51:06Speaker 03

  Are you flirting with me now?

• 51:08Speaker 02

  I was gonna make a cut of Ruby.

• 51:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's a curry, not any, not in case you were worried.

• 51:13Jessie Ware?

  Yeah. Um, what is a nostalgic taste that can transport you back somewhere?

• 51:18Speaker 03

  Huh, a nostalgic taste. I think that is sweets. I think, cause I was obsessed with sweets when I was a kid. There was a sweet shop at, near Dollis Hill Station. Uh, I used to go there every morning and buy sweets. I mean, I'm not, I'm quite old, but not that old. But anyway, it was in a paper bag.

• 51:34Speaker 02

  A cu- a, a triangular one.

• 51:36Speaker 03

  No, the, the, they, they used to give you sweets in a proper paper bag, from proper.

• 51:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 51:40Speaker 03

  And they had these apple drops there. I actually never. I mean, it doesn't really answer your question because I can't find them. But I, in my mind, that is the taste. That's my Proustian thing.

• 51:49Jessie Ware?

  Mmm.

• 51:50Speaker 03

  Is like, if I could find those apple drops again, it would make me, five years old, I'll tell you what it would make me. It would make me. Who's the critic? The critic in um Ratatouille.

• 52:00Jessie Ware?

  Oh, what's his name?

• 52:01Speaker 03

  The critic of Ratatouille is called Anton, Anton, what's he called?

• 52:05Jessie Ware?

  That's a great.

• 52:07Speaker 03

  Anton Ego, so the film, it's called Anton Ego. Yeah, the critic in Ratatouille is called Anton Ego, and the best moment in the history of cinema is in Ratatouille, where Anton Ego, who's a horrible critic and really nasty, comes into the restaurant and tries the rat's food. And he, he's gonna be scornful about it, and he has the first mouthful, and his fork drops to the floor, and there's a montage where he turns back into a little boy. And the little boy is crying, and his mum gives him some Ratatouille. And it's so beautiful, and that's what I think would happen to me if I tried that apple drop, but I've never found it.

• 52:43Jessie Ware?

  I can get you a cherry drop, but I can't get you an apple one. Remember the cherries, they're best.

• 52:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, cherry drop, cherry drops used to be in a tube and were really nice as well.

• 52:50Jessie Ware?

  I love them.

• 52:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:51Jessie Ware?

  I used to have them, but I think that's the closest you're gonna get.

• 52:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, maybe.

• 52:55Jessie Ware?

  You, you play guitar?

• 52:57Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 52:57Jessie Ware?

  Do you ever sing karaoke?

• 52:59Speaker 03

  I have done, I'm a very bad singer.

• 53:02Jessie Ware?

  Which song?

• 53:02Speaker 03

  Well, unfortunately, the last time I did it, it was Three Lions. I'm so sorry.

• 53:06Jessie Ware?

  Of course it was.

• 53:06Speaker 03

  Yes, but I don't normally do that.

• 53:08Jessie Ware?

  So you do your own songs?

• 53:09Speaker 03

  I don't, well, I, yeah, I never do that, but I'm just gonna say this, I was at a party, and um Graham Coxon from Blur was there. And karaoke started, and next thing I knew, Graham Coxon was doing Parklife. Stephen Merchant, who was there, was doing the Phil Daniels bit, was doing all the talking bit, and Graham Coxon was doing it. And then I thought, sorry, and then I thought, I'm being too precious, aren't I? Because in a minute, I know what's gonna happen. People are gonna say do Three Lions, and I can't say no, so I did. And it was absolutely brilliant, because everyone in the room joined in. And once in Tokyo, I was in Tokyo for the World Cup, uh I found myself in a karaoke bar with, it was just me and some salary men, you know salary men, the, the, the blokes in Japan.

• 53:52Jessie Ware?

  Like the businessmen that go and sing?

• 53:53Speaker 03

  They're not really big businessmen, they're just sort of like worker bees who work all week, and then they go and get completely classed in the bar, and I was with some of them, I don't know why. Anyway.

• 54:02Jessie Ware?

  Did you join their group?

• 54:04Speaker 03

  I was just sitting in the bar and they asked me to sing something because they were all drunk. And I did Starman by David Bowie. And you know what? I'm not a good singer, but in my mind, I sang it pretty well.

• 54:13Jessie Ware?

  Oh, did you?

• 54:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, it got like a round of applause.

• 54:15Jessie Ware?

  Did they clap?

• 54:15Speaker 03

  They did. I don't know if they knew any of the words or anything, but they they seemed to think it was okay.

• 54:19Jessie Ware?

  Yeah.

• 54:20Speaker 03

  My daughter's got a brilliant voice. At my, yeah, at my sixtieth birthday party. She sung, I didn't know she was going to sing, uh, she sung, um, Lady Starburst by David Bowie. I'm a massive David Bowie fan. And yeah, God, I, it reduced me to liquid form.

• 54:34Jessie Ware?

  Oh.

• 54:34Speaker 03

  It was so lovely.

• 54:35Speaker 02

  Do you want a bit of my Dubai chocolate?

• 54:37Jessie Ware?

  Oh.

• 54:38Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 54:39Jessie Ware?

  Okay, well, whilst mum gets the Dubai chocolate, um, thank you so much for being on the podcast.

• 54:44Speaker 03

  Thank you, it's a joy.

• 54:45Jessie Ware?

  It's been such a pleasure to meet you.

• 54:46Speaker 03

  Really a joy.

• 54:47Jessie Ware?

  Um.

• 54:48Speaker 03

  The food was lovely.

• 54:49Jessie Ware?

  Good luck with Cameron.

• 54:50Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 55:04Jessie Ware?

  David Baddiel, fab guest.

• 55:07Speaker 02

  And he enjoyed it.

• 55:08Jessie Ware?

  He loved the food, mum. Right at home.

• 55:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:13Jessie Ware?

  It was delicious, mum.

• 55:14Speaker 02

  I would have done something more elaborate, but I thought those lacquers were exceptional.

• 55:18Jessie Ware?

  He doesn't like vegetables, so I think you did it really, really well. Those lacquers were amazing.

• 55:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:23Jessie Ware?

  Like, I think even my son, who will not touch a potato, would have that. Are they all gone?

• 55:30Speaker 02

  No, but they're for my party tomorrow. But I I will not put them all on, I'll save some and bring them on Saturday.

• 55:37Jessie Ware?

  Thank you.

• 55:37Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 55:38Jessie Ware?

  Um, delicious, loved it, very, very fun. Thank you, mum, thanks for hosting.

• 55:43Speaker 02

  Pleasure.

• 55:43Jessie Ware?

  Thank you to David Baddiel and thank you for listening and watching. If you're enjoying the podcast, you can subscribe, you can like, so that you're always on top of when we're bringing out a new episode. We'll see you next week.

• 56:19Speaker 00

  At Humana, our Medicare Advantage plans are easy to understand and easy on your wallet. Like offering more benefits than you'd get from original Medicare alone. And including dental, vision, and hearing coverage in every plan. And the best part is, every plan has a $0 or low monthly plan premium, which makes it easier to save, too. So this Medicare planning season, plan well with Humana. Learn more at gethumana.com. Humana is a Medicare Advantage, HMO and PPO organization with a Medicare contract. Enrollment in any Humana plan depends on contract renewal.