13 Harsh Psychology Truths - Adam Lane Smith

Adam Lane Smith is a psychotherapist an author. Adam wrote one of the best threads on Twitter which I've seen this year, our first episode on this ended up being one of my favourite episodes of the year so here we go again with some more uncomfortable psychology insights. Expect to learn why RedPill alpha gurus are taking advantage of you, why "I love you but I'm not in love with you" is a red flag, how men & women bond differently during sex, why needing to be right will keep you friendless and stupid, why you should never tweet for midwits, how women in hookup culture don't realise they're being used and much more... Sponsors: Join the Modern Wisdom Community to connect with me & other listeners - https://modernwisdom.locals.com/ Get a Free Sample Pack of all LMNT Flavours at https://www.drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom (discount automatically applied) Get a $5 discount on Magic Spoon’s amazing cereal at https://magicspoon.com/modernwisdom (use code MODERNWISDOM) Get 20% discount on Reebok’s entire range including the amazing Nano X1 at https://geni.us/modernwisdom (use code MW20) Extra Stuff: Check out Adam's original Twitter Thread - https://twitter.com/TheBrometheus/status/1381710882225328135 Check out Adam's Website - https://adamlanesmith.com/ Subscribe to Adam's YouTube Channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg Get my free Reading List of 100 books to read before you die → https://chriswillx.com/books/ To support me on Patreon (thank you): https://www.patreon.com/modernwisdom #dating #psychology #sex - 00:00 Intro 02:59 Why You Should Choose Your Partner Carefully 07:07 The Truth About Red Pill Gurus 22:45 Should Kids Move Out at 18? 30:42 Chemical Differences Between Genders During Sex 39:39 Signs of Broken Attachment 44:08 The Impact of Sacrifice in a Relationship 48:32 Don’t Tweet for Midwits 53:27 Do Men Care About Bodily Imperfections? 1:02:44 How to Establish Healthy Expectations in a Partnership 1:07:58 Why Hookup Culture Doesn’t Bring Meaningful Connections 1:20:36 Where to Find Adam - Join the Modern Wisdom Community on Locals - https://modernwisdom.locals.com/ Listen to all episodes on audio: Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/2MNqIgw Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2LSimPn - Get in touch in the comments below or head to... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact/

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Adam Lane Smith?

  If you get out of a bad relationship, you should learn evolutionary psychology about what women actually biologically want from you and about attachment. You should learn those things. Red pill is right now the only place where men can speak these old truths that fathers would have said to their sons like, "Well, son, let me tell you about women." Red pill is the only area men can go to hear that now because we don't have relationships with our fathers or grandfathers or uncles anymore. We don't have male-only spaces. Red pill is the only area where they can do that.

• 0:28Chris Williamson?

  You've been everywhere these last few months.

• 0:30Adam Lane Smith?

  I have, man. My feet are getting tired from running across the internet so much.

• 0:33Chris Williamson?

  Yeah, it's serious. You were on Michaela's show and that one crushed it as well.

• 0:37Adam Lane Smith?

  Oh, man, that one was fun. That one was good, too. I launched from you on Michaela and I started doing all kinds of other stuff with people and I started a YouTube channel. I don't even know where I am half the time now.

• 0:47Chris Williamson?

  That's unreal. So the last episode we did was based off a huge tweet thread you had about harsh psychology truths. And I've just scraped a bunch of other ones that I want to go through today. What is it? What is it that you're drawing on when you pull out the tweets that you put into that thread? Is it professional experience? Is it just stuff that you observe in social interactions? Where are they coming from?

• 1:10Adam Lane Smith?

  A lot of it's a blend. So I've done a lot of study. I'm specifically a behaviorist myself with some cognitive pieces. A behaviorist, I focus on the organism and the organism is always right, according to B.F. Skinner. So if we have a behavior that we're doing, there's a purpose to it. What we have to do is figure out what that purpose is. What is that behavior doing for us? That's what a lot of my tweets are based on, is what could this behavior be adapting to? And why was the organism right when they did it? A lot of people get really mad when they hear that and they realize what their behavior might be doing and what they might be solving with those things. Man, I've had some mad people. I've even had some politicians from other nations jumping in on that tweet thread talking about how I'm a dangerous lunatic. But you know what? It's helping a lot of people, too.

• 1:55Chris Williamson?

  You're a dangerous lunatic that was a psychotherapist for how many years?

• 2:02Adam Lane Smith?

  Oh, a few. But yeah, I mean, there's a lot of bad therapists. I can't blame them for that, but. No, it is what it is. I pull from my, that research that I've done, I pull from a lot of practical experience. I treated, uh, I treated inmates up for the death penalty. I treated people, multiple murderers, people with mutilated children. Um, plus just people who are in for like some political crimes, something like that too. You'd be amazed who's, who's in the jail system. I, I've treated families in home treatment for people disabled with mental illness. I've treated, and I've treated millionaire entrepreneurs, I've treated, uh, homeless people, people addicted to every substance or activity that you can imagine. I've got a lot of experience. So when I'm writing these tweets, it's pulled from research that I've done and experiences

• 2:45Adam Lane Smith?

  that I've had. Are they every, every single one of them a hundred percent right in every circumstance with no exceptions? No, that's not how the internet works. But you know what? I stand by what I write.

• 2:56Chris Williamson?

  Nice. Let's get into it, man. So the first one, you're not unlovable. You just don't believe you deserve love and commitment, and you pick partners who treat you the way you expect to be treated. What's that mean?

• 3:09Adam Lane Smith?

  This is, this is at the core of attachment. And that's one of the biggest pieces of, of work that I do now. When we are kids, our brain learns from our parents specifically if we deserve their love and their attention. Mother and father, biological, it doesn't matter who else is in the picture. If the dad is gone, our brain says, I didn't deserve his love, or he'd be here with me right now. If the parents are there, but they're neglecting you, they're abusing you, the brain, just as a little kid, says, I deserve whatever is happening. I'm causing this. Everyone's responding to me in some way. There must be something wrong with me inside. Everybody else can see that I can't see, and I gotta act accordingly. So you go out in the world with this belief that you are operating in a deficit with everybody else.

• 3:53Adam Lane Smith?

  So you have to find people who need help so you can help them and earn love from them by doing the right things. Healthy people will see that behavior and they'll see your insecurities and they'll, they'll kind of back off a little bit. They might try to help a little bit, but they'll back off because they don't want to form a, a deep bond with you. Because it's, it's almost impossible to build a lasting, stable relationship with someone like that. Because the other person's never going to be honest with you or open up to you about what they need. It's going to fracture. This is where the majority of divorces come from, is this attachment issue. So healthy people will back off, but unhealthy people will say, yeah, come meet my needs. And, and you'll mash up that way. So then you form a, a self-perpetuating cycle of

• 4:36Adam Lane Smith?

  Everybody treats me like crap. I must deserve to be treated like crap. Oh, wait, this new person makes me feel really good because I can earn their love by fixing their problems and and making them a star or whatever it is. And you just keep going and going and going. And then you build a constant bias and you look back over your life and when someone like me comes along and says, no, that's not right. That that's not healthy behavior. There's an alternative. They say, no, there's not. I've been doing this for thirty five years and everybody has treated me like crap. Everybody. That's the system.

• 5:05Chris Williamson?

  Do people tend to like the opportunity to get love that's contingent? It sounds there like it's I I feel like I am loved because or I feel like I am worthy because I have the ability to fix this person, the ability to help this person.

• 5:22Adam Lane Smith?

  That is the only thing that they understand. They don't understand that there is unconditional love for them because they do not believe it's possible because it did not come from the two people on earth who should have loved them unconditionally. One or both of those people, their parents, didn't give them that what they need. So nobody else on earth is going to treat you better than your parents. That's the assumption in the brain. And then they just go out in life and they become adults and they never question the immutable laws that they came to believe when they were kids. It just never comes up. They never stop and think, why do I think I don't deserve love? It's gravity pulls things down and I'm an unlovable piece of crap. That's just how it goes.

• 6:00Chris Williamson?

  How much or how effective is it? Let's say that the father is out of the picture and the mother remarries very quickly. How supplantable is the biological father with another father figure?

• 6:13Adam Lane Smith?

  It's not. He's not. I've seen that. I've seen that many, many times. What has to happen is it must be verbally addressed. You have to take the child aside and help them understand attachment. When someone understands attachment and what's happening, they can start to question those ideas and they can they can come to some understanding, a new understanding and heal it. You can heal the child, but that biological father is not replaceable. And it won't just magically. You can't just pop one dad in, pop another dad out. You can't just do that. It doesn't work that way because the brain knows somewhere out there is a biological father who is not with that child. And there's a reason he's not with that child. And if he loved the child enough, he would be there. And the brain keeps repeating that over and over and over, no matter how much the stepdad is wonderful and and loving and caring.

• 6:58Adam Lane Smith?

  You can address it, like I said, and fix it. Takes some time. But it's hard.

• 7:04Chris Williamson?

  All right, next one. I fucking love this one. Too many red pill alpha guru types take advantage of attachment issues to score cash from wounded men and encourage them to embrace their attachment wounds even further. It turns into a cult of people convinced their wounds are sacred truths.

• 7:24Adam Lane Smith?

  Man, I catch a lot of flack because people come in at me and say, that's not what red pill is about. And they're right, it's not. Red pill is supposed to be evolutionary psychology applied to relationships so that you can be healthy and love each other, love your wife, love your husband, based on biological imperatives within men and women. That's what it's supposed to be. In effect, when you become a red pill guru, to make money off of these people, you say, no dude, you're right. Women are scum. They'll never really love you. They're just there for the things you do for them. So you should just make them do good things for you and take advantage of those insecure women, have sex with them on the first date,

• 8:05Adam Lane Smith?

  and never call them again because screw them. That's what they're teaching. And those guys come in believing there's nothing better. And they hear that message and say, wow, they feel like I feel, but they're turning it around. I'm not the piece of crap. Everybody else is the piece of crap. So it's okay. They owe me. They owe me this. So they go out and start using that. And all it does is create a whole society of damaged, hurt women who go back and act exactly the same. And those nice guys get hurt and then start looking for the red pill community and say, man, all these terrible things have happened. It's a self perpetuating cycle between men and women. And that's all it is. You don't stop it until you fix the actual problems, which is not what red pill gurus do to make money.

• 8:50Chris Williamson?

  Well, the equivalent on the female side is radical feminism, right?

• 8:55Adam Lane Smith?

  Yeah, correct.

• 8:56Chris Williamson?

  It's not as if red pill is the only route to this. There is an equal polarity on the other side of the fence, which is, man, I've gone onto some of the Reddit threads, I can't remember what they're called. It's not women's rights.

• 9:10Chris Williamson?

  It's not r slash women's rights, but it's one of those. It might be the female red pill or something like the other pink pill or some shit. And you go on there and you think, this is, this is just as bad as what you see in some of the menanism manosphere spaces.

• 9:26Adam Lane Smith?

  It is, it is. And you know what? It doesn't have to be. And my areas, I mean, I'm, I'm in touch with all kinds of like masculinity coaches and all the like cringe worthy names that you would have. And some of them are the best men you would ever meet who actually pull men up out of this and say, no, dude, fix your behavior. You're finding bad women because you are a bad man. And they, and they make the men fix themselves. Women, there's some women doing the same thing on their side, trying to fix it until you have that fix between the balance of the sexes and get back to our biological imperatives and, and understand what they mean and, and fix them and fix the attachment. I thought it's going to get better. But yeah, man, there's, there are grifters on both sides and they are happy to take advantage of those attachment issues. They will take all your

• 10:09Adam Lane Smith?

  money all day long and tell you that what you're feeling is normal and that you should embrace it and get worse. So you can pay them more.

• 10:15Chris Williamson?

  Man, I can see the allure of it. You know, this, the, in my less gracious moments when I felt jilted or insulted or not wanted or whatever, I can see those areas of me that would become seduced by that sort of talking point. You know, you have this hurt man who feels like the world has done him wrong. And it's much easier to create a conspiracy around an entire gender that this is women at large as opposed to maybe you just chose a shitty one, man, or maybe, maybe you just rolled a bad hand. Maybe it was unfortunate luck or poor timing, or maybe the, the particular combination of circumstances, a little bit

• 10:58Chris Williamson?

  of you and a lot of them, or a lot of them and a little, whatever, that that caused a bad situation to come out of it. And for some reason, it's more comforting to believe that this is a, a pandemic at large that only affects one half of the population.

• 11:15Adam Lane Smith?

  It's, you know, and, and both sides say it. Both sides feminists say every man is a potential rapist. And, and men say every woman is a potential divorce rapist. She'll take all your money. We, both sides do it. And there's a lot of money in it. There's a lot of political power in it. Both political parties are deeply invested in these, in these things. Man, whole nations are turning on these ideas. It's not just the internet. It's, it's the world right now.

• 11:39Chris Williamson?

  Yeah, there's a meme culture is so fucking smart, man. I'm sure that you'll have seen this one. It's these two dudes, these two, um, black illustrations of guys with beards. And it says, a woman hurt me and I never made up about it. Uh, we should call ourselves alpha males. And then they just walk away. I think, fuck, man, like, the, the main problem that I have with the red pill space is that almost none of the guys that are in that space look to me like the alpha males that I would want to follow. None of them embody the sort of actual genuine integrity, trustworthiness, honor, um, sensitivity, uh, genuine masculinity. None of the guys embody that. It's just, I don't know.

• 12:21Chris Williamson?

  It's the equivalent of a girl replacing beauty with a boob job and lip fillers. You know, it's all, it's all front, no substance. Does that make sense?

• 12:30Adam Lane Smith?

  Very much. Absolutely. Because the understanding red pill, it's, it's really just evolutionary psychology that's applied. That's all it is. Taking it on and saying, I am a red pill man means you have got stuck there. If you get out of a bad relationship, you should learn evolutionary psychology about what women actually biologically want from you. And about attachment, you should learn those things. Red pill is right now the only place where men can speak. These old truths that fathers would have said to their sons, like, well, son, let me tell you about women. Red pill is the only area men can go to hear that now because we don't have relationships with our fathers or grandfathers or uncles anymore. We don't have male only spaces. Red pill is the only area where they can do that.

• 13:10Adam Lane Smith?

  So they go there and they learn these things and the men who are good and healthy, I shouldn't say good people, but they're they're healthy. They move on, they learn it and then they move on into something else and they learn, they move into their church system or they move into an honor culture with with an honor tribe online. They move into masculinity groups instead of red pill groups. They move into married men support groups where they're building each other up, good ones. Um, they move into fraternities and things and programs like that. They don't get stuck and say, I'm a red pill man. When you do that, that means you really are stuck and you really need to move out of that group. It's a good on ramp, but it's not the highway.

• 13:48Chris Williamson?

  And we can replace red pill with extreme feminism, right? You know, and you basically get the exact same situation coming out of it. Have you looked at black pill or the incel culture much?

• 13:59Adam Lane Smith?

  You know, um, I've worked with a lot of them. I know a lot of them, not that like incels a movement, but I mean, I know a lot of dudes who are incel. I know a lot of dudes who are black pill. Um, those are, those can be two different things. Um, it hurts, it hurts when they're going through and I understand a lot of it is built on, a lot of it's built on attachment issues, not all of it, but a lot of incel things are built on attachment issues and they don't understand how or why. And they do need applied evolutionary psychology to understand like, why are women not attracted to me? Well, let's talk about that. Let's talk about what women biologically want. And then let's talk about the culture of things that are also in tune and we can get you a girlfriend, man. I teach courses. I teach dudes how to get girlfriends and it works like that. How to get married. I had one dude, I taught him how to get married. He went from, man, I don't know, I don't know how to do this. He got married.

• 14:44Adam Lane Smith?

  Like three, like, man, he got a, he engaged three months after I taught him, he got engaged and he got married. They've been happily married for years now. Like you can learn this and apply it and it's not that hard.

• 14:56Adam Lane Smith?

  But the black pill stuff, man, and and giving up. It hurts. It hurts to see because it doesn't have to be that way. Learn attachment, learn evolutionary psychology, and then find an actual tribe of quality men that you can connect with, and you won't feel that way anymore because you'll start building with other people. Don't be alone anymore. Clear all the obstacles out of the way from being that make you feel alone. Or if you don't know how to do that, talk to somebody. That's the other piece. Men, our brains are solution machines, and we can only pump out solutions with data we already have. If you don't have the data, you gotta talk to another man who has solved the problem, get the data from him, and he'll give you that data and you build a solution. That's how our brains work. Our brains, men's brains, we're like the internet. We're supposed to share solutions. And if you don't, yeah, you're gonna get stuck.

• 15:41Chris Williamson?

  What it made me realize thinking about Red Pill and Black Pill is I had Namakates on who did a ton of research into the incel community. And in these Black Pill communities, which are basically nihilism, for anyone that doesn't understand it, it's kind of like relationship nihilism for men typically. And what she said was that anybody that suggests any small hint of ascending, which would be a girl in a coffee shop smiled at me today. It's not even going for a date or I got a girl's number. It's any tiny little sliver of attention from the female gender. That, as soon as you do that, as soon as you show in any of these forums, these Black Pill forums,

• 16:20Chris Williamson?

  that you may have had a little bit of attention, as soon as you show that, that's you out. You're ostracized from the group. And the reason for that is that it gives undue, the subtext for the reason for that, is it gives undue hope to the other people in that group. Well, if this guy has managed it, then maybe so am I. And it's a, how would you say? It's a loyalty, it's a show of loyalty that you're not prepared to try and ascend, right? It is a sacrifice for the group. Look, I'm putting the interests of the group over the interests of my own happiness. And I think in Red Pill, it's almost the same, that it's a commitment to seeing women as a means to an end,

• 17:01Chris Williamson?

  to committing to this particular narrative around them being gold diggers or being able to move from man to man very, very quickly. Dude, like, the world that these guys exist in. Seems very, very detached from mine. I've spent a lot of time around a lot of girls, all of whom are in that single party girl mode, who are about to move into becoming someone that wants to get married and settle down and have kids. And man, like when those girls find the guy, they, everything gets switched off. I've seen the biggest sluts that have worked for us, that had just a different guy every night of the week, they'd be moving between different parties, different groups. And then as soon as they find someone that they care about, that mode just gets killed. I'm like, this, this, this isn't the case.

• 17:45Chris Williamson?

  But when you're in a community that have an echo chamber of that, and you're probably not spending a whole lot of time in the real world to disprove these ideas, that's all that you can see.

• 17:57Adam Lane Smith?

  And you know what? Most of those women in that party mode are there because it's attachment issues. They're there because that's all they know. That's all they know, how to feel good and get attention. They're using sex to get love. Most women, I mean, those are the visible women. That's the problem. Those are the visible women. You know where most women are? They're at home. They're families. They're watching TV. They're knitting. They're, they're coloring. They're playing video games. They're petting their cat. They're sitting with their family and having a good time. That's where most women are. And you will not be introduced to those good women because the people you know are going to look at you as a disaster. Not you, but I mean, red pill dudes and black pill dudes. Other women and your, and your family and friends aren't going to say, hey, you should meet

• 18:38Adam Lane Smith?

  this wonderful woman I know who's like 22. She's never ever had a boyfriend. She's just sweet and she just wants to be a mom. You're not going to say, hey dude, you're like smoking pot. You don't have a job. All you do is yell and complain about women and you're trying to bang all these women in the club. I should introduce you to this great young woman I know. Yeah. No, that's not how the game works, man. So you're only going to see these visible women at the club. You're like, she's sleeping with somebody every night. Why not me? Why am I the only man in town she hasn't slept with? You know, and that's not a great place to be. But yeah, man, when women, when women know, they know, when, when women see you and they see that your value, they attach to you with claws and they will never, ever let go. And they will sleep outside on your front porch until you open the door. When

• 19:22Adam Lane Smith?

  a woman really loves you, that's how far they go. And I know this because I've been with my wife like 14 years. And if I tried to walk out the door, she would handcuff me to her. Like, that's what it is. Women know. And when they get in good relationships, they start to heal. They instinctively build self-correcting networks. A healthy woman instinctively builds self-correcting networks. They just do. Especially once they have children, then they really start building self-correcting networks. Suddenly, attachment problems that you both had in the beginning of the relationship are now a problem. And she starts looking at you as the threat to the kids because the kids aren't building good attachment with you. That's why a lot of divorces come in. When women become moms, most women,

• 20:02Adam Lane Smith?

  they want to fix their attachment issues, but they don't know how. And now they're angry at you for having attachment issues.

• 20:08Chris Williamson?

  Yeah.

• 20:08Adam Lane Smith?

  To fix your attachment issues? It doesn't happen.

• 20:11Chris Williamson?

  This came up in the first episode where you said that a lot of issues that women have in marriages where there's kids isn't necessarily to do with their relationship with the father. It's the father's relationship with the children. That the woman is now being very protective over the kid's life. And she sees that the man is not being the father that she wanted. And that causes a defense mechanism to kick in, which actually creates friction between man and woman.

• 20:36Adam Lane Smith?

  That's what I tell men. When, when your kids are like 10 years old or 12 years old, or even teens, and she's going at you and it looks like she wants to kill you. And she's mentioning divorce. There is no way on earth you can fix your relationship with her unless you fix your relationships with your kids first. And if you fix your relationships with your kids first, that automatically just about fixes the relationship with her. Because all of a sudden, all the problems she had with you is now great. And the kids are talking about how great you are. And she sees you with them and her oxytocin starts flowing, her dopamine starts. Every time she looks at you and the kids and they are laughing and hugging you and smiling, her brain automatically makes her like you more because you are good for those kids.

• 21:20Adam Lane Smith?

  That's, this is, this is what red pills should be teaching. This is applied evolutionary psychology. It's all it is.

• 21:25Chris Williamson?

  Yeah.

• 21:26Adam Lane Smith?

  Her brain releases dopamine, oxytocin, vasopressin, all kinds, all kinds of bonding chemicals when she sees you with the kids and the kids are happy to be with you. If you can fix that, man, that's like, it's like putting your marriage on easy mode. If you put, if you, if your relationship with your kids is rocky or distant and the kids are nervous and anxious all the time, man, you're putting your marriage on hard mode then. It's good luck getting a smile out of her.

• 21:53Chris Williamson?

  That would be a man's manosphere movement that I would totally, totally get behind. If it was more to do with, okay, how do we make a marriage as sick as possible? Like, how do we make a marriage as awesome, as easy as possible? Because, you know, end of the day, that's kind of what men would like. We've still got other shit that we want to try and do. The, you know, the goals in the gym or the sport team that we play on a weekend or the bike that we're obsessively fixing when we get home from work. Being able to do, okay, how do I make the marriages as easy and comfortable? And also because you care about the partner and so on and so forth. Yeah, man, that would be someone, someone out there should create a branch off of Red Pill that is about married men becoming better married men.

• 22:36Chris Williamson?

  And the same for, the same for women as well, you know, understanding evolutionary psychology and not just this tribal hatred. Right, next one, next one. This is, dude, this tweet of yours went fucking berserk. Reminder that your kids should leave home at 18 is a psy-op by the central banks to make 10 extended family members pay 10 rents, mortgages, 10 sets of utilities, 10 car payments and 10 of every item needed for a home, plus entertainment and stress relief to cope with being alone. What's this all about?

• 23:08Adam Lane Smith?

  Man, people lost it at this.

• 23:12Adam Lane Smith?

  People aren't meant to live alone. We're not meant to have a studio apartment where we never see our family. Covid has made that clear, I hope, to most people, that we're not meant to live completely isolated from everybody else. Does that mean you have to live in a one-room shack with 50 family members? Well, no, there's a balance point and everybody, every family has a balance point. But making it the culturally understood norm that every single family is going to split off into a nuclear family and the kids will instantly leave at 18, that you should throw them out or they have failed and you have failed as a parent, making that the system? Man, look at our society right now. What would our society look like, assuming healthy attachment?

• 23:54Adam Lane Smith?

  If we fixed all of the attachment problems and so families could honestly, lovingly communicate, meet each other's needs and weren't a bunch of cold, brutal jerks to each other? I'm looking at the boomer generation. If, if families actually loved each other and cared about each other and did what was right for each other instead of just for themselves? Imagine living in a big collective group in a big house, like 40 acres. Maybe two or three houses, living all together in a small family village. Basically, yeah, you could even have your own space. You could even build five houses on one property and you have five nuclear families. All within spitting distance of each other. So when you, as a new parent, are exhausted, you can call your mom over and she's like, oh yeah, okay.

• 24:38Chris Williamson?

  Sister or auntie or grandmother.

• 24:40Adam Lane Smith?

  Sister or auntie or grandmother. Look at kids, man. If your dad dies and you don't have a dad to raise you, your dad, let's say you have a scumbag dad and he leaves. You have like five uncles and a grandfather.

• 24:52Chris Williamson?

  Five other surrogate fathers there, all of whom are actually genetically invested.

• 24:56Adam Lane Smith?

  And all of them, if they have good attachment, can come to you and say, all right, man, let's talk about your dad and let's talk about why his choice is not your fault. And they fix that attachment with you. You grow up knowing how to be a man. And how to love women and care for women and they are, and they're your red pill group. They say, let me tell you about women. And how to have a good, loving, healthy marriage that fulfills you and your wife at the same time. So you can raise good, healthy children. Man, that was normal, normal a hundred years ago. Everything I'm talking about was normal a hundred years ago. Let's go back 150 years ago. I'm here in the United States. Civil War era, man, families lived either together.

• 25:33Adam Lane Smith?

  Or they split up in tiny nuclear families on adjacent farms. People didn't even travel more than like 20 miles from their home in their entire life. Most people, they stayed close for a reason. Family businesses, family jobs, you didn't take on debt. About a hundred years ago, the central banks really took over really hard. We had a lot of changes. And all of a sudden it became a debt system. And we look at the 1920s, we look at the rise of credit, the credit system. Look at the rise of basically sanctioned gambling with the stock market. The 1920s nosedived hard and they said, yeah, that's a problem. Let's just keep doing the same system, but take even more control and do it even more.

• 26:16Adam Lane Smith?

  Families and attachments broke and broke and broke and broke until it became. In the nineteen sixties and seventies, screw the old people. They don't know what's right for you. You should take all the money for yourself and get out from under their thumb so you can have sex in your car at Walmart with, you know, not Walmart, it was a diner back then. You could have sex on the cliff. I'd make out point with your girlfriend and you could do all the cool stuff. Screw the old people. They just don't want you to be happy. And that's that messaging hit and hit and hit and hit and hit everywhere in every part of our culture, not by accident. Man, you look at all the things that they've done over the last, even the last fifty years. It's horrible and it's

• 26:57Adam Lane Smith?

  really beneficial for the people who profit off of it. It's really beneficial to have, kick your kid out at eighteen, have them be miserable, put them on antidepressants. Have them get fat and miserable because they're coping with sugary foods. Put them on more medications, blood pressure medications at thirty, put them on insulin. Put them on everything, put them in front of a TV screen because they have no friends, so they just stream and stream and stream. They'll pay for all of your services. They'll pay for endless escapist entertainment and they'll just sit there pumping cash into the system over and over and over until they die. That's the system right now. That's why we have a suicide epidemic. That's why we have overdose epidemics, the drug epidemics. Did you know, I was reading the news the other day.

• 27:37Adam Lane Smith?

  Heroin addicts here in America are getting pretty nostalgic for actual heroin because fentanyl is covering the market so hard. And it's so hard to find good old fashioned heroin that isn't going to kill you as much.

• 27:49Chris Williamson?

  Fuck, it's going to be like a vintage hipster culture for heroin.

• 27:54Adam Lane Smith?

  Heroin classic. It's like coke classic.

• 27:56Chris Williamson?

  Coke classic, yeah, the old school one.

• 27:57Adam Lane Smith?

  Because we all love needles nowadays, so.

• 27:59Chris Williamson?

  I am, I, I, I think I messaged you about this a while ago before you did that tweet. Saying how strange it is that we don't have pan generational houses anymore. You know, that you have like a, like a commune or whatever and you know, I've got a lot of wanderlust. I'm out here in Austin at the moment in Texas from the UK because I like to go to different places. But if you had a hub, if you had a large family center, that doesn't mean that individual people can't go off and live their own life. But it creates a, a home base that's significantly more stable than just, oh, well, that's mum and dad's house. I go back at Thanksgiving or Christmas each year.

• 28:34Adam Lane Smith?

  Correct. Here in the United States, it's even worse than that. You buy a house, you raise kids. The moment they're out of the house, you sell the house and you move into a one-bedroom apartment.

• 28:42Chris Williamson?

  You then downsize again, yeah.

• 28:44Adam Lane Smith?

  Then you don't even have a family house anymore. That old song, "You can't go home." Well, you really can't go home in America because they've torn down your house.

• 28:51Chris Williamson?

  Sleeping on the fucking couch.

• 28:52Adam Lane Smith?

  Or someone else is living, or someone else is living there shooting up heroin. Old classic heroin.

• 28:56Chris Williamson?

  Yeah, old school heroin. Right, next one. "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" is a recipe for five divorces. What do you think, what do people mean when they say, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you"?

• 29:08Adam Lane Smith?

  Typically, it's women who say it, and typically what it means is, "I don't respect you." It means, "I love you like I would love a helpless child, but I don't respect you as an actual man" because you're not a strong provider, you have no honor, and you have no staying power with any of your words, so I can't trust you, so I don't feel romantic love towards you. That's really what that's code for. So if your wife ever says, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you," it means, "You are not a high-quality man, and I don't trust you." That's what that means, point blank.

• 29:38Adam Lane Smith?

  Saying it means she and he both don't understand what's actually going on. Because we don't say, "You know, I want to love you and be in this marriage, but I just don't respect you, and that's making it hard." So if he is the man who can't engender respect from women, and if she doesn't know how to phrase it that way, yeah, that's five divorces right there before you actually learn what's wrong.

• 29:59Chris Williamson?

  And this is a man who's not sticking to his word, who's untrustworthy, lack of integrity, lack of honor?

• 30:06Adam Lane Smith?

  Man, attachment does that because you have to play everybody else's game and make everybody else happy, which means you have to be the perfect nice guy, which means you have to be a cardboard cutout with no opinions, no values, no honor, no nothing. All of that would get in the way of making everybody else like you. So you gotta have nothing, and it's impossible for a woman to respect a man like that, which means she's gonna have zero sex drive, at least after the initial opening phase of the relationship to attract you. Her sex drive's gonna nosedive, and she's gonna hit you with, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you, and I'm in love with this other dude over here."

• 30:42Chris Williamson?

  Next one. During sex, men and women bond differently. Women experience a surge of oxytocin during orgasm, which binds them to their partner. But research indicates men don't experience the same bonding response. Men have far much more vasopressin receptors than women, and they don't appear to experience as many large oxytocin events like female orgasm, vaginal birth, breastfeeding. Men may bond more through vasopressin. What's all this?

• 31:09Adam Lane Smith?

  Vasopressin is an older hormone that predates oxytocin in the human species, in the mammal species. Oxytocin joined into the mammal species. Our oxytocin receptors seem to have formed when mammals began to lactate. Lactation is oxytocin in a big way. It allowed women to give vaginal birth and experience a flood of oxytocin, which is why a lot of women who plan to adopt their baby out at birth instantly can't because now they're in love with the baby. They've got a flood of oxytocin through vaginal birth. And the first time they breastfeed, every time they breastfeed, they get a flood of oxytocin. The baby gets a flood of oxytocin. The wife, the woman also experiences a flood of oxytocin during orgasm. She gets oxytocin when holding hands, when talking, when cuddling, sharing

• 31:53Adam Lane Smith?

  feelings. Oxytocin flood. Men don't really get that. We do have some oxytocin, but men seem to have a lot more vasopressin, which is stress. It's you and me. We hate each other's guts, but we have to feed our family. So we go out together and we hunt a mammoth and kill it. And we realize we can rely on each other. And now we are bonded for life. All of a sudden, we're best friends because we killed a mammoth. It's two dudes being mad at each other and beating the crap out of each other. And then at the end of it, the other one dude offers his hand, picks the other guy up off the ground, they shake hands, and they are best friends for the rest of their life. That is vasopressin. It's bonding through stress. And it happens. And we men, we bond better through stress, which is why when a baby is born, a newborn baby. The fathers don't usually bond with a newborn baby right away. They love the baby, but they don't feel

• 32:38Adam Lane Smith?

  close to the baby until they can start teaching their child things. A little bit of stress and applying a solution, solving a problem together, bonds them with that child and bonds the child to them. So men during sex, we experience vasopressin when we are solving a problem together. So if the woman is really vocal about how to give her an orgasm and says, here's what we're gonna do. And he says, yeah, let's do that. He will do it. And he will feel really bonded to her because they achieved her orgasm together. If he sets out and he's like, all right, tonight, we're doing a hundred orgasms. And she says, I don't want a hundred orgasms. What he hears is, I don't want to solve problems with you. And so he goes, oh, you don't want any? Really? Well, I don't want none. But it goes back and forth. A lot of women think they're giving a burden to the man when they say,

• 33:23Adam Lane Smith?

  hey, I need this to orgasm, or hey, more of this, less of this, do this. They think they're gonna be a burden. Really, men love it. And I'm sure you can attest. Men love it when women's vocal and engaged and giving feedback and telling you, hey, do this. Hey, don't do that. Hey, more of this. And it's like, yeah, and vasopressin floods. So he gets vasopressin at the end when he orgasms. It's a culmination of all of that. So he gets a vasopressin flood. Doesn't work if she's just laying there like, all right, we're gonna make this about you. Just do what you gotta do. I'll just close my eyes and think of England. And it just doesn't work that way.

• 33:58Chris Williamson?

  So it's a combination. It's a combination of porn and an Ikea how to put it together manual. That's the optimal

• 34:06Adam Lane Smith?

  There you go.

• 34:07Chris Williamson?

  Blend.

• 34:07Adam Lane Smith?

  There you go. Swinging, swinging from the chandelier, screaming at the top of your lungs. Yes, go for it. No, it's um, it's just introducing a little bit of stress. It's team building exercises. It's doing something fun where you together are solving a problem. If you give your man a problem to solve during sex, he will solve it and he will feel really great. And he will bond to you the way that you were bonding to him.

• 34:28Chris Williamson?

  Like if you need, if you need the backend of your website reconfiguring, if you need to reprogram some codes during sex, that's also a term.

• 34:34Adam Lane Smith?

  Exactly. During, during, just put the laptop on your back.

• 34:43Chris Williamson?

  Yeah, well, I remember, again, one of my favorite lessons that you gave us in the first episode was the men that were comatose during the Second World War and then got up and started driving ambulances and fire trucks because they were given a purpose and the ability to achieve that purpose. And that was such a motivating force for men. And this, am I right in saying that it's not precisely the same mechanism, but it's a similar sort of process that men are going through? Problem, problem requires solution. I'm a person that does things, not people. I'm a person that needs to fix problems as opposed to just dwell on them.

• 35:17Adam Lane Smith?

  Big time, big time. It's also why men during war bond so hard with the other men in their squad, even if they were only together for a year, they are lifelong friends and they can pick right back up, even when they're 85 years old and have a reunion. This is why, it's because they've vasopressin bonded to those men so hard. If women can learn to stress bond with men a little bit better, man, you're gonna have him in your life forever. That's, and the opposite is also true. If you don't stress bond him to you at all, those are the women who get really, really powerful feelings because their oxytocin flood from their orgasming with their one night stand dude from Tinder and he ghosts her and she's like, I thought we had a connection. Well, no, you had a chemical connection and you didn't chemical connection him to you at all, so he's gone. But the women who come

• 36:01Adam Lane Smith?

  out and say, I'm gonna make sure you never forget me. And they put, and that right there is a stress statement. But you put him through a little bit of stress, he really never will forget you. He'll be bonded to you for life.

• 36:12Chris Williamson?

  Needing to be right will keep you friendless and stupid.

• 36:18Adam Lane Smith?

  I have learned that myself. On the surface, it's just arguing, being argumentative and needing to be right. But needing to be right also covers never asking questions. It covers never saying, no, I've never heard of that. Tell me about that. It covers never saying, hey, could you teach me more about that? You seem really smart. It covers all of that. If you automatically assume you are right, or if you at least have to express to other people that you are right, so that you don't look like an idiot, you will always be an idiot and you will have no friends. Again, vasopressin bonding, men bond through teaching each other also. So asking another dude, hey, no, I've never heard about that. Can you tell me more? Vasopressin bond and you're gonna learn at the same time.

• 36:59Chris Williamson?

  The dumb thing about conversations is that you know almost all of the stuff that you're going to say. Every so often, you link together different concepts that you never have done before, but that's usually in a conversation that's a back and forth. And like, you know, I, I can't switch that off now. It's been trained through this fucking podcast and now I've become infected so that I ask, I ask far too many questions even when there's not a microphone on. But you know, all of the stuff that you already know, you don't know any of the things that the other person knows. So oddly, the most selfish thing that you can do in a conversation is to be selfless and ask a ton of questions. You end up gaining all of this information from whoever else it is. The only problem, or one of the reasons I can see perhaps why people don't fall into this routine, is

• 37:43Chris Williamson?

  that they're friends with people that genuinely don't interest them. They're friends with people out of convenience as opposed to an actual bond or them being a high value friend.

• 37:52Adam Lane Smith?

  And that can, that can be. Part of it is attachment. If the belief is that there's something wrong with you deep down that nobody else, everybody else can see and you don't know what it is, you never want to expose your lack of knowledge. You have to constantly say, yeah, I totally know what that is. I really know what that is. And you don't say, hey, can you teach me? Because the other person will say, you don't know about that. Or they're gonna say, no, I'm not gonna spend the time teaching you. It's the constant fear of rejection and fear of abandonment, which ultimately turns every conversation into a game of, if you ever played Guitar Hero, where you gotta hit all the buttons perfect to get the right outcomes, it's just you pushing the right buttons to make the other person like you at every single step. That's all it is. So it's not even a conversation. It's you playing a video game on the other person and the other person

• 38:37Adam Lane Smith?

  trying to talk to you, which is why healthy people don't really like to talk to people who have attachment problems. Because it's not a conversation. It's not like this. It's not back and forth. It's not fun. It's somebody else playing a video game on you and treating you like an object.

• 38:49Chris Williamson?

  The first time I ever heard this was Eckhart Tolle, and he said that people who can't bear to be proved wrong are worried about ego destruction, that they, they see being shown to be wrong as complete dissolving of what they are internally. And yeah, the more that you can ask a question and say, actually, that's, I don't even know what that is. I've never heard of that before. How does that work? The more that you get yourself into the routine of feeling like somebody that can be wrong without feeling fear.

• 39:24Adam Lane Smith?

  And I will say this, if a man says that to you, You get a chance to teach him, you vasopress and bond by teaching him. So asking those questions, especially of other men, makes them like you.

• 39:38Chris Williamson?

  Yeah, man. Uh, next one. Young women, when they're single, "I'm a fierce tiger made of unicorns. No man can tame me." Young women in a relationship, "I'm so worthless. Nobody loves me. Please don't leave me. If this is you, this is a sign of broken attachment."

• 39:54Adam Lane Smith?

  Yeah, heck yeah. This, this is, this is women who have broken attachment because outside of a relationship, they have to constantly signal that they're strong and that they have no weaknesses and nobody can help them. No one can tame them. No one can stop them. It's a fear projection. It's, it's in nature. It's a bird fluffing up to look five times its size so the predator won't eat it. It's, it's messaging to themselves to cope with the pain of, of having lost relationships. Well, they just couldn't handle me. Um, it's if you don't, if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best. It's that messaging all over again. But the moment they bond with somebody, they oxytocin bond. Um, the way oxytocin works is if you have not had much of

• 40:37Adam Lane Smith?

  it, especially in a childhood with neglect or abuse, your brain shifts to be very jealous and protective of what does give you an oxytocin bond. So if a man gives you orgasms and love and care, all of a sudden you shift to be very paranoid about losing that attachment bond and oxytocin. And if you have bad attachment, you believe you are playing in a constant deficit all the time. So you have to earn his constant love and approval by being perfect all the time and never ever bothering him, which means never challenging him, never stressing him. So he'll never vasopress and bond to you. So this bond just never happens. It over happens on your side and it under happens on his side. And it just destroys you. And that's the women who are ragingly

• 41:22Adam Lane Smith?

  furious and angry and strong outside of relationships and completely crumble behind closed doors and will do anything for their man, no matter how many principles of theirs it violates. That's why that happens.

• 41:34Chris Williamson?

  Yeah, we, we all know this, right? We all, we all know the, the girl that is a real hard ass. When she's single, "I don't need no man." And then... I don't know. It's so bad because hypocrisy and calling out somebody for their own lack of self-awareness is so inherently satisfying. This is one of the problems that we have with people that erupt themselves on the internet, that you have a catalogue of pretty much everything that you've ever said. And if you start to turn against that without calling it out and going, actually, I was wrong about this thing. I thought I was whatever, whatever, and now I'm not. If you just continue on and start to contradict yourself, people adore calling out hypocrisy. They absolutely love it. And the problem that you have in a situation

• 42:19Chris Williamson?

  like this is if you have a woman that's a real hard ass when she's single and a real soft touch when she's in a relationship, no one really feels much empathy for them.

• 42:31Adam Lane Smith?

  Yeah.

• 42:32Chris Williamson?

  Because they haven't called out, actually, I thought that I was a strong woman that doesn't need no man. And now I'm really, really happy in this relationship. And for anybody else out there that feels the same, maybe, maybe you should sort of consider that this could be a good route for you as well. That's the sort of thing where you go, wow, this person's actually identified that they were in the wrong. They've now given a piece of advice to other people. Yep, there we go. But when you just flip frock from one to the other, there's no sympathy there.

• 43:01Adam Lane Smith?

  No. And, and, and the two distinguishing pieces are when a woman has healed her attachment in the relationship, she will say, man, I was so wrong. And when she has not healed her attachment in the relationship, when the attachment issue persists, she will start getting defensive. No, I'm still totally an independent woman. And it'll start to really impact her brain because she's trying to hold a paradox in her brain. She, she has cognitive dissonance. I'm a hard independent woman who can't bear even five minutes away from my boyfriend. It's, and it just rips her apart and it rips the relationship apart too. She'll start to resent him for making her weak. She'll start to resent the people who pointed out to her. She'll try to hold both in her head and it just, it destroys her. Those are the women who need sympathy the most, but they engender the least sympathy

• 43:43Adam Lane Smith?

  because, like you said, the hypocrisy is there, they're defensive, they're angry, and they can't seem to stay loyal to either side. They, they look like they have no loyalty at all. In fact, what's happening is they have so much loyalty and so much desperate love.

• 43:58Adam Lane Smith?

  That they don't believe they deserve any love back.

• 44:00Chris Williamson?

  That's such a good, such a good point. The fact that they're the ones that need the most sympathy, but cultivate the least. So interesting. Right. Love is not a feeling. Love is taking consistent action that's truly best for someone, especially when it's against your self-interest. The more it costs you, the greater your love. If you feel affection, but never sacrifice for that person, you only like the idea of loving them.

• 44:24Adam Lane Smith?

  Man, I think of my kids. I think of my kids. I'm a father, which means I'm going to sacrifice for my kids. There's times where my kids, man, they're like, one of my kids is three. If she gets mad, she'll yell, she'll throw toys. Usually not. She's usually pretty well behaved. But when she's tired, when she has a bad day, I can either vent my anger at her and feel good by myself, yelling at her and screaming at her, or I can tone it down. I can put myself aside. I can put my own dopamine levels aside and say, let's not worry about me right now. Let's worry about taking care of you and give her the love and attention she needs and teach her gently the way that she needs to learn so that she can behave better.

• 45:07Adam Lane Smith?

  That right there is sacrifice. That right there is love. It, love is an action. I am loving my child. I feel affection toward my kid, but love is not proven until you actually do something about it. If I just scream at my daughter all the time and start screaming, "You're a brat. I can't stand you. Why are you doing this to me? Why would you treat me this way?" Well, she's three. I'm not three. I'm supposed to be the parent. I'm supposed to love her and give her that love. If she's doing something bad and I just say, "Oh, that's okay, sweetie." I'm also not loving her. I'm being affectionate in my heart. I have affection for her, but I'm spoiling her. I'm ruining her life. Love is action. If you love somebody, then you must prove it. You must do it. Love is, it's a verb. To love is a verb.

• 45:52Adam Lane Smith?

  People don't get that. There's a lot of people out there who think they're the best parents on earth because they tolerate their kids. There's a lot of parents out there who think that they're the best parents because they tolerate what their kids do and they resent their kids for the sacrifices they have to make. I never, I should say, I'm not gonna say this carefully so that I'm honest. There are times when parents might resent, they might be. You have to catch yourself and realize that you are being a piece of crap and a selfish person and you are not loving your child. By resenting your child, you are not loving your child. Even in your heart, you are not loving your child. You have to choose to love your child. Same thing in marriage, same thing in friendships,

• 46:37Adam Lane Smith?

  same thing in every relationship, you must choose to love somebody or you only like the idea of loving them. You like the idea of being a loving person. You like the idea of being a good parent more than you are willing to be a good parent. And that's it. Love is action. If you don't take action, you don't love.

• 46:55Chris Williamson?

  This is related to another one that you did. Step one isn't to figure out the solution, it's to shut down your emotional right brain and restore energy to your logical left brain so you can process the situation in a calm way.

• 47:07Adam Lane Smith?

  Right. So, and I don't know if my camera's averse, but the right side of your brain is emotion and creativity and all kinds of stuff. The left side of your brain is logic. It's math, it's hustle language, things like this over here. Your brain only has so much energy between it, between the hemispheres to jump back and forth and have ideas and make connections. You, when you become emotional, it diminishes the logical brain to fuel a storm on this brain so it's rapidly connecting all the feelings and figuring out how to fix it. Now, your right brain, all it's good for is figuring out how to maximize your pleasure and minimize your pain for the next five seconds. If you are emotional, that's the brain you're thinking with and this brain is logically diminished. If you take a brain scan of someone who's very emotional, it looks like North and South Korea at night.

• 47:51Adam Lane Smith?

  One is lit up and one is dark. And it gets worse the more emotions you experience and especially if you've got trauma, if you've got things like that, it gets worse and worse and worse. So when you are triggered by something troubled, bothered, whatever the problem is, the problem, you shouldn't be solving it when your brain's like this. You need to calm yourself down so that your brain restores logical functioning. And then you'll start thinking longer term than five seconds. You'll start saying, what should I do long term? What are my principles? What are my long-term goals? What do I actually want to accomplish here for the relationship? Instead of maximize pleasure, minimize pain for five seconds. That's, that's, that should be your first step. Whenever you are upset by something is to restore logical functioning. The solution will come to you after that.

• 48:33Chris Williamson?

  This one is something I think should be a disclaimer above every person's Twitter. Twitter is too short for specifics. Generalizations have to suffice. Midwits can't abide generalizations. They'll point out every exception and demand you tweet a full thread. Then they refuse to read full threads. Don't tweet for midwits. They're not your audience.

• 48:54Adam Lane Smith?

  And it's true. Um, and I say midwits, that's me being kind of a jerk. Um, what I mean is those people who don't invest in understanding. Because there, there's people who are beginners into an, into any topic. There's people who are advanced in any topic. And there are people who are right in the middle, who are trying to figure out what exceptions exist to the rules. Those are the people who go in and say, well, you say this for men and women, but I knew a woman once who wasn't that way. So you are wrong. You are completely wrong. And they get angry at you for not tweeting fifty different tweets after your one tweet. Then you need fifty different tweets with every possible exception listed that any human could ever make. Um, and they demand it and they get upset if you don't.

• 49:39Adam Lane Smith?

  And they think they have won the argument and proven you wrong. This imaginary argument they're having with you. Um, don't tweet for those people. Number one, I mean, sometimes they, they aren't, I don't want to say sometimes they aren't intelligent enough to understand it. Usually they don't understand the topic enough to understand that picking out all the exceptions does not make you a smart person. They aren't willing to generalize and accept like this is for most people. Some things aren't for you. Some things are not for you. And if you imagine everything on earth has to be for you. Maybe fix you.

• 50:09Chris Williamson?

  But what did, what did people fucking think? Did they think that this 280 character post was going to cover every different anomalous situation for all of time? No, obviously not. And actually should be banned on Twitter. Actually, any tweet that begins with the word actually should just be immediately censored. Because yeah.

• 50:32Adam Lane Smith?

  You can just mute that person. Mute that person from them.

• 50:34Chris Williamson?

  Obviously, obviously, it's not meant. I've had to sacrifice specificity for brevity online. The reason that tweets do well is because they're pithy and because they're kind of, they're sort of snappy and they sound cool and they have got a sense of generalization in. If you want to come in as the guy that identifies the fact that there is actually an outlier to this situation, that what, what are you proving? You're proving the fact that somebody's had to sacrifice specificity for brevity. Like fucking well done you, five internet points.

• 51:03Adam Lane Smith?

  And you know, there, there used to be a saying that somehow people have forgotten. And the saying is this, the exception proves the rule. The exception proves that the rule exists. If you have to rack your brain to think of the one woman on earth who wasn't born with feet, so that you can say, how dare you say women are born with feet? Well, the exception proves the rule. There's one woman over there who was born without feet. Okay, I get that they exist, but saying, yeah, women are born with feet. It's not, it should not be an arguable statement. Some of these statements I make in my tweet, tweet thread, people get so ragingly angry because they're like, well, that's not me. How dare you say this is true?

• 51:48Adam Lane Smith?

  Well, it's true for most people. And if it's not true for you, cool, move on. But if they're getting that angry, man, there's something there. Like maybe someone else made them feel bad that they don't fit into that one. And that's usually what they're arguing against. They're not arguing against you. They're arguing against the one person in their past history who made them feel bad for being an exception. That's really where a lot of that comes from.

• 52:09Chris Williamson?

  The problem as well, if you're someone that's trying to create a platform online or trying to just get messaging out there, if you try and caveat everything that you say, you're going to erode out all of the color and the flavor that actually makes it exciting in the first place. If you decide to caveat every tweet that you do with, I know that it's not about this and on average, and then explain what on average actually means. If you do that, then all the sexiness of your content's been lost in any case. So yeah, not optimizing for midwits, I think is, it's just a very good idea.

• 52:42Adam Lane Smith?

  If you optimize for midwits, you'll have one follower and that will be your mom, who says you are really clever. Nobody else will follow you because they're like, everyone else will be like, man, I don't want to follow this guy. All he does is tweet like some maybe averages. That doesn't really help me because then he's not even saying what average people can do. I sometimes, if it's a really hot topic, the second tweet, the first sentence of the second tweet will be, some people are different. And I'll have that in there. Like, not everybody, but the majority. And then I'll put, but the majority. And then I just launch from there. And that's the second tweet. And when people hit me and say, well, that's not ever, I just grab that tweet, I copy a link to it, and I just go through the comments. Uh, here's somebody. And I just post that tweet at them, not even saying anything else. Because I know they didn't even bother to read the thread.

• 53:27Chris Williamson?

  Yeah. Women are insecure about details. Men don't notice details. Men notice body parts. No man ever said, hey, one of her nipples is slightly larger than the other. But every woman knows which of her nipples is larger than the other and is terrified her partner will leave her for it. Most women spend their time worrying about the man they love noticing imperfections that only another woman would notice. Few women realize that you cover imperfections by distracting men with accentuated body parts. Flaunt what you've got, he won't care about the rest.

• 54:01Adam Lane Smith?

  I think I should win a Nobel Prize for that one because that solves like all female insecurity. Right? We're done. No, that's, that's true. Women don't get this. If you take off your shirt and your husband is staring at you, he is not going to notice that you have a mole next to your belly button. He is going to be staring at the two things that are right there in front of him. And if you're completely naked, he'll be, his eyes will be making a triangle, left, right, and down. And that's all he's going to be looking at. And he might look at your face. Maybe. Probably won't even notice. You could wear, you could wear a fake mustache with completely naked and he, it would take him three hours to notice the fake mustache. And it's not, and you're laughing because it's true. It is so true. We don't know,

• 54:45Adam Lane Smith?

  we notice body parts and we fixate on body parts, um, especially the ones we like. We're just, we just do. Men look at the specifics that we are trying to do because we're trying to achieve an objective. Her shirt is off. I should maximize the amount of time I can stare at these two things. That's usually what we're doing. And then we're getting aroused and then we say, hey, we should have sex. We aren't looking at her body going, hmm, that's interesting. She has a mole there. I wonder where that, when that mole came up. Hey, she has a tiny scar on behind her ankle. I wonder where that scar came from. I would like to know that story. No, we are pretty fixated on getting done the job that we want to get done. And, and that's just, that's what it is. That's, that's where we're at. So if women can find out their three best features and augment those three best

• 55:30Adam Lane Smith?

  features in whatever way, man, you have it made. Mike, just do that. Do that and see if he even notices anything. You know what? If a woman walked in a room completely naked with a false mustache, it would be amazing if her husband noticed the false mustache within like a while. Do that test. Women at home, buy a false mustache, probably find them on Amazon and see, do the false mustache test. See if your husband even notices. Walk in completely butt naked and turn back to him first. So he sees your butt and then turn around. He won't even notice your face. The mustache will be there for a while. And when he does, you'll have to say, so what do you think of my mustache? He'll go, huh? And then

• 56:11Adam Lane Smith?

  he'll jump because he's so shocked. Give that a try. Do the, do the mustache test and that will show you how little he cares about your imperfections.

• 56:20Chris Williamson?

  Pro tip, if you share that someone has hurt you and their first response is to complain that your admission hurts them, they don't love you.

• 56:30Adam Lane Smith?

  That's true, man. A lot of people, when they try to fix their attachment, they ask me, should I tell my parents?

• 56:38Adam Lane Smith?

  And my answer is usually no, because your relationship formed in that environment first. You need to fix your attachment on at least three other people so that you have the emotional backing from other people to be able to go to your parents. If they hit you with, how dare you do this to me? Um, if the other person says, how dare you show this to me? Why are you doing this now? What's the problem? Their first thought isn't, wow, the person I love is hurt. I need to help them. And if you love somebody, really love somebody, you actively love them. It goes right back to that. You show love for them by caring for them. If you have a selfish thought and say, oh, this hurts. You stop yourself and say, wait a minute, this person I care about is really hurt. I, I need to solve this first.

• 57:19Adam Lane Smith?

  I'm thinking, man, again, I'm a father. If my kids came to me and said, Dad, it really bothered me when you yelled at me in front of my kids. My first, if I'm a loving father, my first thought isn't, you deserved it. My first thought is, wait a minute.

• 57:36Adam Lane Smith?

  This is a relationship with my kids. I don't want to screw this up because I'd like to meet my grandchildren someday. Let me think through this. Okay, you know what? I acknowledge that you're hurt and that sucks. Talk to me about why it hurts. And then I will talk to you about why I did it. And let's come to a compromise so we understand each other. And then going forward, let's figure out how to make sure it never happens again so that neither one of us is bothered by this. Not just me. Both of us. Let's figure out going forward how both of us can have this. And that's how you solve problems in a relationship where you love each other. That's just it. If the other person says, uh, well, you deserved it. Well, you made me feel bad. Well, you hurt me first. Well, that's defensiveness and they don't really love you.

• 58:19Chris Williamson?

  What about the reverse? What about if you ask someone to whom somebody says that you hurt them and you have this compulsion to say your admission of that hurts me?

• 58:29Adam Lane Smith?

  Yeah. First of all, it's normal to have that compulsion. But if you love that other person, you should practice loving them and practice not being selfish. So if you have, again, the logical emotion, if you logic spike and emotion spike, it might, if, if you find yourself feeling upset, you need to check yourself immediately. When someone comes at you with something, your first thought should be, where am I at right now? Before you open your mouth, you can't even close your mouth. You can pretend you're stroking your mustache and thinking, close your mouth and say, Where am I at right now?

• 59:01Adam Lane Smith?

  Where am I at? Am I gonna screw up this relationship? And you think, what is my goal right now? Is my goal to diminish my pain and maximize my pleasure for five seconds? Or am I at a place right now where I need to um talk to this person and fix this relationship? Do I want to know my kids past the age of eighteen?

• 59:20Adam Lane Smith?

  Well, okay, if you're too hot right now to think about that, then you should say, okay, give me five minutes to cool off, so I don't, so I'm not a jerk, because I love you and I care about this relationship. Give me five minutes. Let me think about this and let's meet back here in five minutes. That's okay to do that. In fact, if you can't have a calm relationship and fix it, I encourage you to say, give me five minutes. Because the other person might say, well, that sucks, but why? And you could say, because I'm really emotional right now and I care about you and I want to fix this and I don't trust myself right now to be logical enough to have a good conversation. I'm just gonna be a jerk and I want to fix this, so give me five minutes. And they'll say, alright.

• 1:00:01Chris Williamson?

  I suppose that's kind of similar to if you are a wife and there's a problem that's occurred, ambushing the husband as soon as he walks through the door with that is probably suboptimal. You might have had a bad day at work. You might have just stepped through the door. The particular situation, the dynamic that you're in, you know, he's in put bags down from work mode, not I need to have a serious conversation where I'm receptive to my wife mode.

• 1:00:28Adam Lane Smith?

  Correct, yeah. And that's okay. It's called meta-communication. Communicating about your communication is a good thing. Letting the other person know, hey, right now is not a good time because I am messed up. I'm angry at this other thing. I'm stressed out. It's okay. And if you are a person who accidentally goes off at the other person and says, hey, you know, I'm, how dare you do this to me? If you do that, sometimes it slips out. You are not loving that other person. You have to choose to go back in and love that other person and apologize to them. And really do like, man, I'm so sorry. I do care about you and I want to show that I love you. So let's actually talk about your concerns. I'm sorry that I jumped on you like that. And it'll be hard, but you can fix that relationship.

• 1:01:13Adam Lane Smith?

  Yeah, man, if someone comes at you and you've hurt them, fix it. Fix it. If you love that person, then fix it. You should care about that. You should care that you hurt their feelings more than your feelings are being hurt by pointing out how you hurt them. You should care about them more than you care about your temporary discomfort because you have hurt them, which means you've wounded the relationship.

• 1:01:36Chris Williamson?

  I suppose as well, being, being the person, the first mover that gets past the tit for tat inertia or the, the game playing of, well, last time that this happened, they set the tone by not responding in a very nice and meaningful way. Um, I, I, again, I can see that compulsion, you know, I'm somebody that, you know, if, if I get badly done by someone, I, I remember, you know, the resentment sits there and you think, okay, motherfucker, like it's your turn now. It's your turn now. Remember the last time that you turned up late for dinner? Well, it doesn't matter. I don't, you can almost feel it as you're going in, you're going out for dinner with a buddy and you know that you're 15 minutes late. You go, well, yeah, but he was half an hour late last time. So this is okay. You go, well, you know, kind of, but it's just a shitty, it's a shitty way to live.

• 1:02:22Adam Lane Smith?

  It is. It's really, it's realistically justifying treating someone else in a non-loving way. That's really what's happening. You are justifying treating the other person without love in some way, point blank. And if you think you're justified in doing that because of what they did to you, then by all means destroy the relationship by pointing that out and telling them that they deserved what you did to them.

• 1:02:43Chris Williamson?

  How would you advise somebody, let's say that they're in a relationship, it could be a friendship or a, or a partnership, and they have got themselves into a, um, a cycle of negative communication, whether that be this tit for tat thing or some other sort of really poor back and forth dynamic. Um, how would you advise someone broaching that? And also, how important is it to set the tone at the beginning of the relationship to continue forward? I'm going to guess, based on my experience, that getting it right first time and never having to fix something is optimal. But if you haven't done that, how do you fix it?

• 1:03:20Adam Lane Smith?

  You can't run a healthy relationship without setting up clear expectations at the start. The best, that's the best time to do it. Second best time to do it is before there's a complete catastrophic meltdown. So do it now. If anyone listening to this hasn't set clear expectations, set them now.

• 1:03:35Chris Williamson?

  What's that mean? What's clear expectations?

• 1:03:38Adam Lane Smith?

  Uh, the minimum to maintain the relationship and what you expect out of the relationship and what you hope to get out of the relationship, the minimum. So in a marriage, uh, let's not cheat on each other would be one of the minimums. Let's actually care about each other and solve our problems together. That would be one of the minimums. Hey, when there's an actual problem, let's please talk about it instead of sweeping it under the rug and trying to make up for it by earning love and approval from each other. These are, these are basic expectations in the relationship. Um, set those, set them. Tell the other person, all the boundaries you tell each other, what boundaries would make me leave this relationship? That calms the other person down if they're anxious because that tells them, okay, I won't leave you outside of these clear boundaries.

• 1:04:15Chris Williamson?

  These are the rules of the game.

• 1:04:16Adam Lane Smith?

  Don't do these things. Don't do these things right here. Here's the next set of boundaries. This is where I would leave you. Here's the next set of boundaries. If I was, that's another way. Here's, here's leaving you. Here's annoyed at you or angry at you. Here's slightly annoyed at you. Here's like, okay, we're pretty good. Here's like totally like thriving and loving you. And it should be this spectrum of behavior. So the other person isn't feeling like they're walking on a minefield, waiting for the relationship to detonate at any moment. Set clear expectations of what you do and don't want and be clear about them when things pop up. Hey, you know what? I didn't really like that that you just did, but could you do this for me instead? That would be great. Do it the first time it pops up. So no one's angry or embarrassed because you haven't done it for six months. Set it right away. Boom, clear expectations.

• 1:05:00Adam Lane Smith?

  If you don't set those, oof, man, good luck.

• 1:05:04Chris Williamson?

  I think, um, I keep on reflecting about your advice that women should give men problems that they can solve in collaboration with each other. That's so, so powerful. And I think that trying to, trying to think about ways that you can engender that. I suppose that having kids is one big problem to solve, which is maybe a part of the bonding experience, right? You know, you need to get little Timmy to football practice, but there's only one car and you're at work and blah, blah. And I, I think that that's, that's a good part of it, but certainly for couples that don't have kids or perhaps find that the kid situation just isn't a problem solving thing. That would be something maybe that you could try and communicate would be a good idea as well. Why don't we try and do something that is a little bit of a challenge?

• 1:05:49Chris Williamson?

  Work on the extension of the house together. Work on building a side project together. Why don't, if one of you's got a business, why don't you suggest that someone come in and, and I don't know, assist with that? I'm not sure, but yeah, that seems like such a powerful bonding potential.

• 1:06:04Adam Lane Smith?

  Yes, absolutely. Do things together that you normally wouldn't do. Do uncomfortable things. They say oxytocin bonding is bonding in the absence of stress, vasopressin bonding is bonding in the presence of stress. Those are the two different things. And just a little bit of stress, even good stress, solving problems together, playing board games together even can be a little bit stressful. Building things together, like you said, if she just goes to him and says, hey, something is really bothering me and I really need help solving it. Can you help me? My curtains need to be hung up, or you know, or my whatever, this is bothering me. Can you help me? I'm having such an overwhelming week. Could you please do this for me? Could you pick up dinner on Thursday night? That would be so helpful

• 1:06:46Adam Lane Smith?

  to me. If she can just go to him and when we, I mean, our ancestors would call it the honey do list. Honey, please do this. If, if, if you could just do that, give him little things of this would be so helpful to me. Thank you so much. And he does it and you're like, oh, thank you. I mean, you don't have to jump on him naked the moment he comes through the door with dinner, but just like, thank you so much. That helped me out so much. Like vasopressin for him. There's the feedback. He gave you, you gave him a problem. He solved it. Feedback. Yeah.

• 1:07:15Chris Williamson?

  How many, um, how many women do you think avoid doing that because they don't want to be awkward bitches?

• 1:07:21Adam Lane Smith?

  A lot of women do, and especially when they are in, when they have attachment issues because they believe they don't deserve those things and they believe that he doesn't want to do them and he doesn't care. If they have dads who grew up being a grumpy piece of crap who didn't want to help out, it really hammers home that message of don't ever trust men. Um, don't ever ask men for anything. You're not worth it. So it, it, it happens all the time, man. A lot of women don't want to be a bother or a burden. And so they never do the things that men need to bond. It's just, it's so many missed opportunities. It doesn't make you a bad woman. It just makes you miss all the good opportunities.

• 1:07:57Chris Williamson?

  Many women in hookup culture believe they're going to find a meaningful connection. They don't realize they're being used for masturbation.

• 1:08:05Adam Lane Smith?

  And oh, man, that pissed off so many people. And it's an ugly way to put it, but it's true because that's what that's what those men are doing. They're not vasopressin bonding to you, number one. So really, they're masturbating with your body is really what they're doing. They're masturbating and having no bonding connection whatsoever. So they may as well have stayed at home and masturbated with their hand or an object because their brain is viewing you as an object. Especially if they watch a lot of porn. What they found is that men who watch porn and men who are shown porn and then shown pictures of attractive women, the brain operates. It lights up the part of the brain responsible for tool use instead of human connection. So if he's used to watching a lot of porn, that part of his.

• 1:08:49Adam Lane Smith?

  Yeah, so the research shows they showed they showed pictures of attractive women to men. Who had first, they would they would either show them nothing, I believe, or they'd show them. Porn and they'd show them one or the other. And so they'd show them the attractive woman. And the men who had no images prior to that, the brain would light up for interacting with other humans. The men who are shown porn first. And then shown a non pornographic picture of attractive women, the part of their brain responsible for tool use would light up.

• 1:09:24Adam Lane Smith?

  Shit. Yeah. So if you look at a lot of porn, you look at a woman and what happens? Your brain says tool use, I'm going to masturbate. So he forgets you're even there if he's used to porn. Also, men who look watch a lot of porn focus on acts and body parts way more. So he's staring at her boobs and he's trying to get off to her boobs instead of saying, hey, we're having a wonderful experience together. Let's really enjoy this and bond and connect. He's just trying to get off. He's just there and he's like, all right, we're gonna do this. We're gonna do this. And that's the dude who's yelling like 15 different. Um, that's the dude who's on fifteen different instructions during like, all right, flip around to look at me now, jump up and down that and like, that's why is because he's recreating these porn scenarios that he, his brain, he's programmed his brain to

• 1:10:07Adam Lane Smith?

  get off to. He has built a fetish around using the female body and different body parts. So he's just masturbating with your body at that point. And even if you're married, even if you're married, he can still be just masturbating with your body because sex to him is a way of masturbating because he's used to masturbating to women on the internet.

• 1:10:25Chris Williamson?

  Yeah, I am, I was reading Robert Wright's uh book recently, which always has some, it was written in the nineties when he did, uh, when he first wrote his, his book on evolutionary psychology. There's this section in there that says the Madonna whore dichotomy. And this is something that I think has kind of been lambasted and, and, and called out as, as fake news, but any man knows that this is true. So anti-cocody technology could come in handy, not just when a man has a mate, but earlier in choosing her. If available females differ in their promiscuity, and if the more promiscuous ones tend to make less faithful wives, natural selection might incline men to discriminate accordingly.

• 1:11:06Chris Williamson?

  Promiscuous women would be welcome as short-term sex partners, indeed preferable in some ways since they can be had with less effort, but that would make poor wife material a dubious conduit for male parental investment.

• 1:11:19Adam Lane Smith?

  And here we are in 2021. Now, all of that is impacted by attachment. So if men believe that they are completely worthless and that they're lucky to get a woman who's had 500 partners, then that changes that dichotomy a little bit. It changes what they're used to. But if men fixed, if every man in America fixed his attachment, promiscuity would become really unattractive and this, this, it would all shift and women would suddenly become really, really monogamous because it wouldn't be tolerated. Right now, it's hot if a woman is out there all the time just doing, having fun and, and she can attract lots of dudes and oxytocin bond to them and feel really close to them. Right now it's rewarded because men have bad attachment. If men fix their attachment, that all goes away. That all goes away.

• 1:12:05Chris Williamson?

  There's a stat I saw Rob Henderson shared a little while ago, saying that the single biggest predictor of extramarital sex is premarital sex.

• 1:12:13Adam Lane Smith?

  And I have I have heard that also I've heard also heard that a major predictor for divorce is if she's had any partners prior to that marriage. She's had very few or none, no partners at all. That also is a good predictor of low divorce risk.

• 1:12:27Chris Williamson?

  This is one of those things, you know, the whys of every generation discover the same truths. That was what Shane Parrish tweeted a little while ago, that we are recreating. We're trying to recreate the rules that things like religion and tradition gave us. And yeah, maybe, maybe there is a part of this where the genie's out of the bottle a little bit. You know, when you've created the pill for women and had the women's liberation movement and you're trying to have equality for the sexes. You need to now rationalize and give genuine reasons for something that was previously just doctrine or culturally enforced without another alternative.

• 1:13:06Chris Williamson?

  So I understand that, you know, restricting men and women to what seems like an archaic way of living. I understand why that is going to be a difficult pill to swallow. But the end goal for both men and women should be, okay, what gives me the most flourishing life? Not, is it the cooler, trendier, more contemporary way of living? It's, does this actually give me the outcome that I want? And this is why it's so important, I think, for people to to understand and to to be able to learn these sorts of lessons without an emotional response. Because if you can do that, then it permits you to pick and choose the elements from history that are genuinely going to work for you.

• 1:13:46Chris Williamson?

  As opposed to just having a knee jerk reaction that, well, that's obviously the patriarchal substrate construct trying to keep us down because of a cisgendered heteronormative, whatever the fuck, right? Like that's reacting with that casts off all of the potential advantages that you could have got from understanding that wisdom in the first place. But yet recreating tradition in a modern context, it's not easy. So it doesn't surprise me that it's a hard pill to swallow.

• 1:14:13Adam Lane Smith?

  There's a saying that society progresses one grave at a time. Once a generation has established its mores and its views and its beliefs. That generation has to die before the next generation can implement their own. Um, it's the reason they, they say that that's the reason that, um, in the book of Exodus, the Jews had to wander in the desert for forty years. Before they could reach the promised land was because the old generations had to die off and the younger generation who actually believed it was possible to reach those. Could reach that promised land and become faithful. Um, it's, it's, it's the generations marching through. And right now, man, I did so much work with twelve year olds, so much work with twelve year old boys who had moms who.

• 1:14:55Adam Lane Smith?

  How do I say this in a way that won't get me canceled off the internet moms who had. A boyfriend for every day of the week, just say a lot of boyfriends, a lot of drug addicts, a lot of problems and the boys would see their moms and say. I never ever want to be around any women in my life who ever act like this. I love my mom, but I never want this in my life again, because even at twelve, he has to step up and be the husband. Basically, he has to step up and be her husband and try to run the house. Uh, and manage her behavior.

• 1:15:25Chris Williamson?

  Yeah. So there's almost like a, there's like a breakwater. In between, in between poor cultures, poor cultural norms. And then it takes a little bit of time to get over to that. There was a guy on the show, uh, talking about. The history of existential risk. So how humanity had come to understand its own capacity for its own destruction. And there's a term called conceptual inertia. In that, which is when a commonly held scientific belief is disproven. It still has a lagging effect about when that fully, even if you could disprove it tomorrow. So let's say that you go from a. A geocentric to a heliocentric view of the universe or something like that. Um, even if it's proven, even if everybody accepts it.

• 1:16:10Chris Williamson?

  The human mind and culture. Takes time for this to percolate through and for all of the unheld assumptions, the unvoiced assumptions to completely be ejected from the world. Uh, and that very well may be, like you say, one grave at a time.

• 1:16:26Adam Lane Smith?

  It is one grave at a time, but you know what? I'm, I'm, I'm really, how do I say? I'm, I am really inspired by the 12 year olds that I do meet. Because they're either in one of two camps. They're either are completely destroyed and they want to kill themselves, which is horrible. Or they are so angry and so ready to change the world. That they're, they're going full throttle. It's, it's one or the other. It's a meat grinder right now. And the population who survives is going to be the hardest, hardest, strongest population out of that. And I don't say that with any joy in my heart for the ones who are, who are suicidal and hurting. We need to, we need to help them.

• 1:17:06Adam Lane Smith?

  But it is such a, a Darwin's meat grinder right now of, of the next generation that is going to set the tone. And they have zero tolerance. They have zero, zero tolerance for all the crap and excess that there are, the generations have got up to. They have zero patience for the rest of us, for boomers, for millennials, for Gen X, Gen Y. They are ready to not throw us into the furnace, but, but they, they have zero tolerance. And by the time their power comes around. Society's going to look a lot different. Very, very, very different from how it looks now. Cause we are a good warning to them about what doesn't work.

• 1:17:40Chris Williamson?

  Yeah. I mean, that's the, this sort of role model that you never want to be, right? The bad example. That's really, that's a poor situation to be in. I keep on hearing about how one of the reasons that there's societal discontent at the moment is because millennials are the first generation who on average did worse than their parents. That the future that we were promised is something that hasn't come to fruition. But if you roll that forward for a couple of generations, and also, you know, boomers to millennials was probably about a generation, but millennials to Gen X and Gen Y is, they, that's not, they've started to cut the time domain down from it being 25 years to actually now, yeah, around about 12 and a half. So that's how fast society's moving.

• 1:18:25Chris Williamson?

  But yeah, when you have people who don't do as well as their parents, they start to ask, okay, so maybe what I was taught wasn't correct.

• 1:18:34Chris Williamson?

  As opposed to let's continue the tradition. If you do better than your parents, you say, evolution of ideas has worked absolutely great. I should just teach my kids to do what I did because it worked out fine for me. But then if that doesn't happen, look at the outcome. We need something new and maybe that new is actually something old.

• 1:18:53Adam Lane Smith?

  Correct. And Gen X and millennials, man, we got, we are the ones who are saying, nothing works. What the heck are we supposed to do? Because the boomers threw out everything that did work and created a new system that was built just for them in a happy little bubble. Take on all the debt you can. Build a tiny nuclear family. Move away from your family. Screw them. Screw the old people. They had this perfect little bubble built for them by the economy so that they could just feed the economy and feed everything in. And that bubble doesn't work for anybody else after them. And right now, the boomers are tripling the divorce, the average divorce rate in their seventies. They are continuing to get divorced in their seventies and tripling the average divorce rate right now. It's not working. And Gen X

• 1:19:35Adam Lane Smith?

  and millennials are like, we don't know. Guess I'll die. It's that meme. Like, I guess I'll just die. And Gen Z is coming along like, what have you people been doing? And all right, I guess we're going to burn to the ground and I'm going to build a cabin in the woods and live there until I figure this out. That's Gen Z right now. Is they're the ones recovering after the world has melted down.

• 1:19:56Chris Williamson?

  Adam Lane Smith, ladies and gentlemen, people want to keep up to date with what you're doing. What have you got going on? Have you got any new courses coming out soon?

• 1:20:03Adam Lane Smith?

  Oh, man, I'm focusing so much on YouTube right now. So I've got a huge YouTube channel. Just look for Adam Lane Smith. I'm on there. My number one video, I think, is male attachment. It's bonding men to women during sex. Some of the things we talked about in here. YouTube is the biggest place I'm pushing right now. I'm pushing out more courses down the road. I'm building all kinds of offerings. So I'm on Twitter at the Brometheus. I'm all over the place. Those are two good places to find me right now. I'm also on TikTok because Gen Z loves TikTok. So.

• 1:20:32Chris Williamson?

  I want to see your TikToks, man. Yeah, the YouTube channel, Adam's YouTube channel and his Twitter and the tweet thread that this is building off will be linked in the show notes below, so go and check those out. Adam, until the next time, man, get some more tweets out, we do this again.

• 1:20:45Speaker 02

  That's perfect, I'd love to, thank you. Mr. President, my company told me of the explosion on our rig on October 2nd. Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. So y'all heap the blame on me. Tom Cruise is.

• 1:20:58Speaker 03

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• 1:21:04Speaker 04

  What would happen if I stopped drilling? You stop, you freeze to death, that's what.

• 1:21:08Speaker 03

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• 1:21:11Speaker 04

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• 1:21:13Speaker 03

  Digger, see the trailer online, only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R, under 17, not a middle without parent.