The Suez Plot | Make Britain Great Again | 1

Anthony Eden has waited fifteen years to become Prime Minister — but he's about to destroy himself in six months. When Egypt's president seizes the Suez Canal, Eden is sick, popping pills, and under pressure from all sides. What he does next will change Britain forever. Do you have a suggestion for a scandal you would like us to cover? Or perhaps you have a question you would like to ask our hosts? Email us at [email protected] See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Alice Levine?

  Audible subscribers can listen to all episodes of British Scandal ad-free right now. Join Audible today by downloading the Audible app.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  This is Audible.

• 0:10Matt Forde?

  Alice, you might want to sit down. I've got some serious news.

• 0:13Alice Levine?

  Oh, no, no, do it in the code thing I taught you the other day. It's like a secret language.

• 0:17Matt Forde?

  Yeah, I know, but this isn't fun, Alice. This is serious.

• 0:19Alice Levine?

  Do it.

• 0:22Matt Forde?

  Banana, Alice.

• 0:24Alice Levine?

  Yeah.

• 0:25Matt Forde?

  Apple, your.

• 0:27Alice Levine?

  Mm-hmm.

• 0:29Matt Forde?

  Broccoli, boyfriend's.

• 0:31Alice Levine?

  Mm.

• 0:32Matt Forde?

  Carrot, dead.

• 0:34Alice Levine?

  Was artichoke going sweet corn to courgette, dump lettuce, him cabbage, anyway?

• 0:42Matt Forde?

  It was almost awkward.

• 0:46Matt Forde?

  July 26, 1956, Port Said, Egypt. Colonel Mahmoud Yunis crouches in a hot, darkened boathouse. Mosquitoes buzz and bite. Two dozen men are tucked in tight behind him, waiting. Yunis twists the dial of a small radio, frantically searching for a signal. He swallows. His men are running out of time. Because 200 kilometres away, the President of Egypt, General Nasser, is giving a speech. And buried inside that speech is a single word, a code word.

• 1:27Matt Forde?

  And when Yunis hears it, he and his men have to move immediately. But nothing's coming through.

• 1:36Matt Forde?

  Yunis slams the heel of his hand into the radio's side, waggles the aerial. A revolution that has allowed. Yunis freezes.

• 1:47Matt Forde?

  The Egyptian people have been used. His heart leaps to his throat. The speech has already started. Yunis looks at his watch. 8:47pm. Slowly, he raises his arm, signalling his men to prepare. He can hear them readying their weapons behind him. I was reminded recently the story of a Frenchman. Yunis draws in one last lungful of damp boathouse air. Ferdinand de Lysse.

• 2:20Matt Forde?

  Yunis pounces forward, swings his rifle up into his hands, and runs from the boathouse. His men thunder after him, up the bank towards the grand colonial officers with their shaded verandas, sloped roofs and wooden shutters.

• 2:35Speaker 03

  Yalla, go, go!

• 2:37Matt Forde?

  Yunis storms through the building, his men streaming in behind him. The screams of shock drowning out the stomping of boots. Aiming his gun into the air, he lets off a few shots. He takes in the sea of wide-eyed French and British staff. We come in the name of President Gamal Abdel Nasser. Vacate your desks and move outside. Move!

• 3:01Alice Levine?

  Vacate your desks is very polite, isn't it, when you're firing guns in the air?

• 3:05Matt Forde?

  Put your lanyards down and log out. Control, add, delete.

• 3:10Alice Levine?

  Please clear the wastebasket.

• 3:17Matt Forde?

  Yunis spins around, surveying the room as the employees scramble for the exits. Driving the final foreigner out, Yunis pulls the door shut, locks them from the inside, then strides over to the manager's office, grabs up the mouthpiece of the dispatch unit. Calling all ships, this is Colonel Mahmoud Yunis speaking. He looks out across the dark water. Do not be alone. Do not change course. Tonight, you sail under the eye of the Egyptian army. The radio unit bursts into life with panicked replies. But Yunis drops the mouthpiece, leaving it dangling from the desk as he walks to the window,

• 4:01Matt Forde?

  stares out into the twilight, and allows himself a smile. The British bet against the wrong men. The Suez Canal is now property of the Egyptian state.

• 4:16Matt Forde?

  And they don't intend to ever give it up again.

• 4:26Speaker 04

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• 4:54Speaker 05

  I'm Gemma Whelan, and in the new season of The Spy Who, we tell the story of the original femme fatale, the spy who was Mata Hari. A famous dancer turned World War One secret agent, accused of seducing Allied officers to uncover their plans. But was she a temptress or a scapegoat for French failures? Follow The Spy Who now, wherever you listen to podcasts. You can also listen to the full season of The Spy Who Was Mata Hari, early and ad-free on Audible.

• 5:26Alice Levine?

  I'm Alice Levine.

• 5:27Matt Forde?

  And I'm Matt Ford.

• 5:28Alice Levine?

  And this is British Scandal, the show where we bring you the murkier stories that ever happened on these odd little isles.

• 5:36Matt Forde?

  British scandals come in many shapes and sizes. Some are about money, some are about sex, they're all about power.

• 5:43Alice Levine?

  But when we look at scandals a bit closer, they turn out to be stranger, wilder, just plain weirder than we remember.

• 5:50Matt Forde?

  So we're journeying back to ask who's to blame for what happened.

• 5:53Alice Levine?

  And when the dust settled, did anything really change?

• 6:05Matt Forde?

  Alice, have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?

• 6:09Alice Levine?

  Okay, I'll be honest, vague memories from my history textbook, canal in Egypt, built to connect the Mediterranean and the Red Sea. I have to say, I've never had the pleasure. Not a traditional leisure route, the old Suez Canal.

• 6:20Matt Forde?

  No, you don't give many lads holidays to Suez these days, D-ray levels, that they go for a fortnight in Suez.

• 6:28Matt Forde?

  So you've heard of the place, have you ever heard of the Suez Crisis?

• 6:32Alice Levine?

  I'm sure there is a lot more to the Suez Canal than the crisis, but I'll be honest, that's the only way I have heard about it.

• 6:38Matt Forde?

  That's true of most of us, because Suez is one of those subjects we've all heard of, but no one really knows about. Suez has it all. We've got a vain politician desperate for power at all costs, we've got a very handsome antagonist, keen to get one over on his old enemy, and at its centre, a secret plot that almost started World War III.

• 6:57Alice Levine?

  Okay, color me intrigued.

• 7:00Matt Forde?

  This is the story of Anthony Eden, the British Prime Minister, who's staked everything on going to war against Egypt, and when I say everything, I mean everything. Britain's empire, even his own life. It's got hubris, egotistical men, and a political conspiracy so cack-handed, you won't believe it's true. This is episode one, Make Britain Great Again.

• 7:25Alice Levine?

  I'm hoping that is the highest rating of gold.

• 7:32Matt Forde?

  16 months earlier, March 1955, Mayfair, London.

• 7:40Matt Forde?

  Sir Anthony Eden tosses a file into his red Foreign Office briefcase. He's due at Downing Street in half an hour. And today, he's finally going to raise with Winston Churchill the pact they made a decade earlier.

• 7:56Matt Forde?

  He picks up the latest edition of Punch magazine, stares at a thin, bony caricature of himself, as a bloated, laughing Churchill lurks behind him. He reads the caption, "The Prime Minister's Poodle." Eden throws the magazine on the side table. He's been Churchill's loyal deputy for 15 years, half of his parliamentary career. But Eden is now pushing 60. It's an election year, and time is running out if he's ever going to have his turn at leading the country.

• 8:28Alice Levine?

  Isn't it funny to think of it as your turn? I mean, it's so childlike to be like, you've had a go, now I get to have a go. So entitled.

• 8:36Matt Forde?

  Although Eden sort of had a point. So he was Foreign Secretary during World War II, highly respected for the way that he dispatched his duties during that difficult time. The Tories obviously lose the election after that, Labour come in, then the Tories come back in in 1951 with Churchill as Prime Minister again, and Churchill is really getting on. And Eden, prominent Conservative, well-respected in the party and the country, is arguably rightfully saying, "Well, at some point, you're going to have to go. Why don't you let me have a go now?"

• 9:04Alice Levine?

  He's a go.

• 9:05Matt Forde?

  Eden sweeps back a lock of thinning silver hair, as a voice appears at his shoulder. You aren't still fritting over Uncle Puggy, are you?

• 9:14Alice Levine?

  Okay, I don't know who this is, but I know for a fact that she is posher than posh, because calling your uncle Uncle Puggy, I mean, that's very in the wheelhouse of poshos today, being like, "My name's Tiffy, but my actual name's Claire."

• 9:28Matt Forde?

  You're bang on, because Uncle Puggy in this case is Winston Churchill.

• 9:32Alice Levine?

  Oh, for God's sake!

• 9:34Matt Forde?

  And this is Lady Eden. So Anthony Eden is going out with the niece of his boss, Winston Churchill.

• 9:42Alice Levine?

  But wait, what, how old is his niece?

• 9:45Matt Forde?

  Sir Anthony is 60, and Lady Eden is 47.

• 9:49Alice Levine?

  Bloody hell.

• 9:51Matt Forde?

  But he's got those lashes, hasn't he? He's got really fit lashes.

• 9:57Matt Forde?

  Lady Eden places a glass of water next to him, hands him a cup of pills. He knocks back his medication. Eden's still recovering from gallbladder surgery, and he can feel the stomach ulcer he's had since he was a young man. Do you want me to tell him? Good God, no! He's 80 years old. Aunt Clemmie says he can barely keep his eyes open for more than half an hour.

• 10:22Matt Forde?

  Eden snaps his briefcase shut. He loves his wife dearly, but right now, he feels their age gap. You may have no difficulty defining your uncle, Clarissa, but he's my boss and Britain's Prime Minister. Still, Churchill refuses to step down. Every month, there's a new reason to stay. Uprisings in the colonies, communist threats. What the public doesn't know is that their Prime Minister is extremely unwell. Just last year, he had a major stroke. Eden has been patient. But now, that patience has run out.

• 11:09Matt Forde?

  Thirty minutes later, he takes his seat in Cabinet, when the door bursts open.

• 11:16Matt Forde?

  Eden bristles as he takes in the familiar round silhouette of Winston Churchill.

• 11:22Matt Forde?

  His walking stick clacking unevenly, cigar fixed in his mouth.

• 11:28Matt Forde?

  Anthony, what news from President Eisenhower?

• 11:35Matt Forde?

  Eden stands, catches the eyes of other Cabinet members. He's already briefed the Prime Minister on Eisenhower. He did so just yesterday. The President has agreed to visit this summer in order to discuss the ratification of— Churchill croaks, cutting him off. Summer? Eden's temples throb. Yes, Prime Minister. I had already proposed that Eisenhower and I meet to discuss— Regive me, Anthony. Surely it would be more appropriate for the Prime Minister to lead those discussions. Eden's ulcer twinges.

• 12:15Alice Levine?

  Imagine that. Imagine having an ulcer that twinged.

• 12:19Matt Forde?

  Yeah, so he had gallstones and he had surgery to remove them, but his bile duct was damaged. And that meant it leaked into his body. That caused an infection. He had further surgery. But that led to this stomach ulcer. So his innards are in a very bad way.

• 12:38Matt Forde?

  It was my understanding that by July, the Prime Minister would be standing down.

• 12:45Matt Forde?

  Sixteen pairs of eyes turn towards him. He hadn't intended to raise the subject of succession so publicly, but he knows he can't back down now. I think, given the circumstances, it would be best if I took the lead. Slowly, furiously, Churchill lowers his glasses. If the Foreign Secretary has a personal comment to make, he would do well to remember he is in Cabinet, where such matters should be left at the door. Eden casts his glance around the table, but struggles to meet anyone's eye. Prime Minister, I merely— At... The...

• 13:30Matt Forde?

  Door. Eden flushes with humiliation. Churchill has to recognize that his time has come. Eden's played his hand, and now he intends to follow through. And if he needs to give Churchill a hard push, then that's exactly what he'll do.

• 13:59Matt Forde?

  Later that evening, Downing Street. Sir Winston Churchill slams his fist on his large oak desk. The impertinence. He glugs a large glass of Johnnie Walker. In the past few hours, he's heard that Eden is trying to corral support in the Cabinet. Churchill is no fool. He might not be the force he once was, but he'll be damned if he'll be pushed out of office. Eden is quite impossible to work with. I demand to see him immediately. The aide hurries out the door. Churchill's shoes pinch his swollen feet as he hobbles over to Toby, perched on the rim of his decanter.

• 14:44Matt Forde?

  It seems you are the only loyal one left in Downing Street.

• 14:49Matt Forde?

  He calms as he takes in Toby's brilliant green plumage.

• 14:53Alice Levine?

  Okay, already obsessed with Toby. Discuss.

• 14:57Matt Forde?

  Toby was the Secretary of State for Health.

• 15:02Alice Levine?

  And he did a bloody good job.

• 15:04Matt Forde?

  Toby was a parakeet, who Churchill became very close to in his final years.

• 15:09Alice Levine?

  Became very close to. He was a trusted ally.

• 15:14Matt Forde?

  Churchill turns to see the slender frame of Eden. Come to retrieve your blade?

• 15:21Matt Forde?

  Eden steps towards him. Well, what would you have me do, Winston?

• 15:27Matt Forde?

  Churchill takes in his nephew-in-law. He's always been a handsome man. Tall. The glamour boy, they called him. But his suits are starting to hang awkwardly, his posture beginning to buckle. Churchill is no longer sure Eden has the vitality needed, or the temperament to lead the country. Churchill bends down slowly and picks up a tiny brass dustpan and brush. Inflation is rising. The Empire sits on the precipice of collapse, and— Churchill grunts. Yeah. The world is always in turmoil, Anthony. Churchill carefully begins sweeping up budgie droppings.

• 16:12Matt Forde?

  That's why a consistent hand on the tiller is critical. But it's not your hand on the tiller. It's mine, and the press are starting to know it.

• 16:24Matt Forde?

  You ought to be very careful pulling at this thread, Anthony. He turns, glimmering. Half the reason I've remained in post was to give you a chance to recover. He watches Eden draw himself up indignantly. I've been given a completely clean bill of health. Poppyguck. Churchill knows it's not something that Eden would ever admit, but Clarissa told him just how close things had come on the operating table.

• 16:59Matt Forde?

  I mean, that's big political intel.

• 17:01Alice Levine?

  All right, sweetheart. Loose lips sink ships.

• 17:03Matt Forde?

  You can't be blabbing. I mean, I remember when I was off, and you were gossiping about what I was like in there.

• 17:07Alice Levine?

  I'd have something to talk about.

• 17:09Matt Forde?

  He's taken the turn for the worse again.

• 17:10Alice Levine?

  Hugh Dennis loved it, to be fair.

• 17:13Matt Forde?

  The two men stand in silence, glaring. Out of abiding respect, I would rather not force this issue, Winston. But I can, and I will.

• 17:28Matt Forde?

  Churchill stares in shock at the empty door. He didn't want it to go this way, but Eden's words sting because there is truth in them. There'll be another election before the year is out. Has he really got another five years in him? He watches as Toby takes flight and lands gently on the back of his hand. Perhaps it is time for a quieter life. Churchill does want to keep his legacy intact after all. He just has to decide if Eden is really the right man to succeed him.

• 18:09Matt Forde?

  Three weeks later, April the 5th, Buckingham Palace. Eden bows his head, takes the Queen's hands in his, then lightly brushes his lips against them.

• 18:21Alice Levine?

  Oh, that's actually turned my stomach. May I?

• 18:25Matt Forde?

  Your Majesty.

• 18:26Alice Levine?

  Horrible.

• 18:31Matt Forde?

  After fifteen years of waiting in the wings, Churchill has finally stepped aside. Anthony Eden is Britain's Prime Minister. He raises his head. Your Majesty. She smiles politely. I must say, I don't envy your assignment. Eden's eyebrow arches. Britain undoubtedly faces many challenges, ma'am, but there is much cause for optimism. The Empire, though in flux, remains a beacon of— Eden hesitates as the Queen glances down at her hand in his. I was referring more to the shoes you've been asked to fill. He looks at her, momentarily confused.

• 19:15Matt Forde?

  I fear we will never know his like again. Eden's smile tightens. Churchill. I see. Well, I aim to do his legacy justice, ma'am. He was always so kind. Truly the most dependable mentor I could have ever wished for in those first years. Eden's ulcer begins to gurgle. No doubt such a devoted statesman will make himself available should we ever require his counsel.

• 19:51Matt Forde?

  Eden is still fuming as he strides into 10 Downing Street, up the grand staircase, past the portraits of former Prime Ministers— Disraeli, Gladstone, Lloyd George— until he finally comes face to face with two portraits of the same man, a distinction granted to his predecessor alone.

• 20:15Alice Levine?

  Talk about an extraordinary example of the fit ex haunting your new relationship.

• 20:21Matt Forde?

  It's like the fit ex of the country, isn't it? Even now, we haven't got over him. We're still obsessed with Churchill. So that staircase, and Love Actually recreates it pretty accurately. Every Prime Minister gets their portrait in order at the staircase. So each time there's a new Prime Minister, they all get moved down one, and the new one goes at the top. Churchill's the only person to have two portraits.

• 20:46Matt Forde?

  Eden takes in the paintings. He may have won the battle with Churchill, but now he has to win over the public, his peers and his Queen. And to do that, he needs a victory of his own. And he knows he needs to take a very big risk to get it.

• 21:17Matt Forde?

  Six weeks later, May 26, Leamington Spa. Eden ushers Clarissa through the gaggle of reporters and cameramen, towards his constituency polling station. How are you feeling about calling this snap election, Prime Minister? Any regrets? He fixes a smile for the cameras. The British public has a democratic right to decide who governs them. I will never regret honouring that principle.

• 21:46Alice Levine?

  So hang on, he's only been PM for six weeks, doesn't he?

• 21:49Matt Forde?

  He wants his own mandate, Alice. You know what they're like. He's come in, he's in Churchill's shadow, so he feels, and he wants to go to the country and get his own majority. Are you braced to be the country's shortest-serving PM? A hot itch prickles Eden's skin as he picks up his pace. I stand ready to serve the British public, whatever they decide. He turns his back on them, ignoring the shouts from the journalists, steps inside the polling station, wondering if he's just made the biggest blunder in British political history.

• 22:30Matt Forde?

  Eight hours later, Eden is back in London, standing in the Members' Bar at Parliament, staring at a small television, his stomach rolling. The live coverage shows 30 seats currently called for the Conservatives, against Labour's 31.

• 22:49Matt Forde?

  He feels a delicate hand at his back. It's still early, darling. Eden turns to Clarissa, expressionless, then quietly steps outside to the terrace.

• 23:04Matt Forde?

  He looks blankly out over the Thames as the rain lashes into it. What has he done? He wanted a mandate and instead, he might have just handed the country to Labour.

• 23:18Matt Forde?

  Prime Minister! A wide-eyed aide comes charging out to the terrace with a transistor radio. Eden's brow furrows as the signal steadies. An extraordinary set of results, which would make this the first sitting government in a hundred years to return an increased chair of the vote. Eden steps closer. Our revised forecast now predicts Prime Minister Eden will in fact widen his majority over the Labour Party to 60 seats. His jaw full slack. He's done it. He's increased his party's majority to three times what it had been under Churchill. For the first time in years, his insides fizz with something other than pain.

• 24:03Matt Forde?

  It's excitement.

• 24:07Alice Levine?

  Obviously delighted he's happy. Very rare in British scandal, actually. But I would say it's not a given that it's because the country are entirely on his side. There's a bit of him riding on the coattails of Churchill's success, surely.

• 24:22Matt Forde?

  Of course, you're standing on the shoulder of your predecessor. But obviously from his perspective, he'd waited so long for his go, he felt like it had passed him by, his health's faltering, and then not only does he win, he wins with a majority way bigger than Churchill's. So that will feel like a huge personal vote of confidence from the country in him.

• 24:42Alice Levine?

  And what we like to see is men in power with an overwhelming sense of confidence, because that always goes really well, doesn't it?

• 24:51Matt Forde?

  Eden looks back over the Thames, his chest swelling with pride. He's no longer living in Churchill's shadow. The people clearly believe that he is the right man to lead. Now, finally, he is going to stamp his mark on this country and show the world what he and Britain are really made of.

• 25:23Speaker 05

  I'm Gemma Whelan, and in the new season of The Spy Who, we tell the story of the original femme fatale, The Spy Who Was Mata Hari. A famous dancer turned World War One secret agent, accused of seducing Allied officers to uncover their plans. But was she a temptress or a scapegoat for French failures? Follow The Spy Who now, wherever you listen to podcasts. You can also listen to the full season of The Spy Who Was Mata Hari early and ad-free on Audible.

• 25:53Speaker 01

  Dr Seuss's Cat in the Hat and Fish are back for a whole lot of wonderfully whimsical fun. What happens when you switch bodies with your best friend? Discover a caveman frozen in ice? Or make an alien so angry he threatens to destroy the planet? Find out in season two of the Cat in the Hat podcast. The Cat and Fish are travelling the world in the great catastrophic cacophony cruiser, meeting genies, clown professors, cave trolls and extraordinary characters along the way. With clever wordplay, imaginative rhymes, original songs and stories celebrating curiosity, empathy and creative problem solving, every adventure brings something new to discover.

• 26:36Speaker 01

  It's a world of wonderful words, big imaginations, and plenty of heart for the whole family. Listen to the Cat in the Hat podcast wherever you get your podcasts. Audible subscribers can binge all 20 episodes early and ad-free right now.

• 27:01Matt Forde?

  One year later, July 19, 1956, Aswan, Egypt.

• 27:08Matt Forde?

  President Gamal Abdel Nasser shakes open the blueprints, looks intently at the sketches for a giant hydroelectric dam, gives his best contemplative pose as a photographer for National Geographic snaps away. Nasser lowers the plans, presses back his broad, uniformed shoulders and looks out across the proposed building site.

• 27:32Matt Forde?

  Surveying the rich, golden sand and sparkling blue water, he smiles. Four years ago, he led a revolution, arresting the British puppet, King Farouk, liberating his country, handing it back to the people, finally ending British influence. And now, he's determined to drag his country into the modern world, positioning Egypt as the beating heart of a new pan-Arab nationalism in the Middle East. And the Aswan High Dam will be his signature achievement.

• 28:08Alice Levine?

  Okay, so this is a great feat of engineering, but actually this is a geopolitical statement.

• 28:15Matt Forde?

  Yes, and it's significant that it's him. So in that region of the world, not just in Egypt, but in Iraq, in Syria, in Lebanon, lots of those countries are breaking away from British control and Nasser was the forefront of it, really. He is by far the most recognisable figurehead. Construction will require moving the historic Abu Simbel temples. The dam will be the final step in Egypt's grand modernisation. General.

• 28:46Matt Forde?

  Nasser turns to see his adviser, Mohamed Haikal, approaching. It is the British, sir.

• 28:54Matt Forde?

  Nasser smiles reassuringly. I told Eden and his colonial forces that they must be gone by... It's not that, sir. It is the dam's financing. The grin dies on Nasser's lips.

• 29:09Matt Forde?

  The British have pledged $14 million towards this project. And now they're pulling it? Those petty sons of bitches. He slams his fists on the blueprints. He'll be damned if he'll let the British dictate terms.

• 29:29Matt Forde?

  An hour later, he reclines in his seat aboard his presidential plane. He stares down through the clouds to Port Said, down over the Suez Canal. A 120-mile artery flowing the length of his country, linking the Mediterranean to the Red Sea.

• 29:48Matt Forde?

  Every year, 15,000 ships pass through it, carrying goods between Europe and Asia, another jewel in Egypt's crown. But the profits mainly go to British and French shareholders. Foreigners profiting off Egyptian soil, profiting off the blood, sweat and tears of 120,000 Egyptian workers. So he uses the 120,000 figure. We think that's inflated. It's probably more like 30,000 maximum. But nevertheless, tens of thousands of Egyptian workers dug this canal and hundreds of them died. Did you know this canal was built because of a bowl of macaroni?

• 30:32Matt Forde?

  Haikal sits up next to him. I'm sorry? Many years ago, a young boy named Mohamed Said was placed on a diet by his father. Every night, this fat boy cried out in hunger that people were so afraid of his powerful father, nobody came to his aid. Nasser turns, lifting a dramatic finger. But then, a Frenchman, Ferdinand de Lysseps, took pity on the boy, smuggled him secret bowls of his favourite food, macaroni. Haikal's frown deepens. Thirty years later, that same Frenchman is tasked with the impossible, build a canal through Egypt.

• 31:17Matt Forde?

  And who helps him? Haikal shrugs. His old friend, Mohamed, the young boy he once gave macaroni. Now ruler of Egypt, who grants him the loans and land rights gladly, as thanks for the merciful macaroni. Nasser turns back to his window, looking at the long line of enormous cargo ships slicing through the heart of his country. Egyptians are loyal. They always have been, but they are not suckers. Nasser needs to build his dam. Egypt's prosperity depends on it. So he will secure this lost funding another way. And as he watches the ships drift northward, up towards Europe and onwards to Britain,

• 32:02Matt Forde?

  he thinks he might just have an idea how.

• 32:11Matt Forde?

  One week later, 4:45 AM, 10 Downing Street. Eden squirms in bed, trying not to disturb Clarissa. He hasn't managed more than 20 minutes of unbroken sleep, and his insides are alive with pain.

• 32:30Matt Forde?

  He has a crucial meeting first thing with the Treasury. The rapid economic recovery he's overseen this last year has exceeded all expectations. But now inflation is on the rise, and the generous tax cuts in his budget aren't helping. He can't solve a problem this big on so little sleep. He fumbles for his nightstand, grabbing for his painkillers. Choking two down, he rolls his head back onto his pillow when the ring of his bedside phone pierces the air. He bolts upright, scrabbling for the receiver.

• 33:08Matt Forde?

  Prime Minister, the Foreign Secretary is here to see you.

• 33:13Matt Forde?

  He squints at the clock.

• 33:16Matt Forde?

  It's five in the morning! I'm sorry, Prime Minister, he says it's urgent. Ten minutes later, Eden drags his aching body downstairs to find Selwyn Lloyd bristling anxiously outside his office. Apologies for calling so early, Prime Minister. Eden pushes past him. Christ, man, what is it? There's been a concerning development in the Middle East, sir. Eden sips the waiting cup of tea at his desk. There are reports from the embassy in Cairo that Egyptian troops are being mobilized. Eden's brow furrows. Where?

• 34:00Matt Forde?

  Towards Suez, sir.

• 34:03Matt Forde?

  Eden's head snaps up. He straightens in his chair. Britain's energy supply relies entirely on the uninterrupted flow of oil through the Suez Canal. Any disruption to cargo could be devastating.

• 34:18Alice Levine?

  Well, this sounds like a very modern conundrum.

• 34:22Matt Forde?

  Yes, reminiscent of the Strait of Hormuz. And just like the Strait of Hormuz, back then, most of our oil supply came from Iranian oil fields. So if the Suez Canal gets disrupted, the only alternative route is to go thousands of miles around Egypt, which, one, is more dangerous, and, two, obviously much more costly. So Eden is not keen on that.

• 34:45Matt Forde?

  If the markets catch wind of it, or, God forbid, the press... Is Egypt under attack? Is it Israeli forces? We have no intelligence yet to... Eden thumps his desk. Well, find out, man! We can't sit idle while...

• 35:05Matt Forde?

  His body doubles over in agony. Is everything all right, Prime Minister? Eden grinds his molars. Eden's always known that damned fool Nasser was a liability, right from their first meeting a few years ago. He had him pegged as a vain young buck, obsessed with power and personal glory. The relentless attention he paid Clarissa over dinner proved it conclusively. Eden's mind races. He should never have agreed to remove British troops from Egypt, not with that fool Nasser in charge. But that's why he made sure to have it written into the agreement that his forces could return to Egypt in the event of a war. Because anyone who attacks Egypt attacks British interests too.

• 35:53Alice Levine?

  Okay, so earlier, he thought it was Israel. He's not even considering it could be Egypt themselves.

• 35:58Matt Forde?

  Yeah, just hasn't occurred to him.

• 35:59Alice Levine?

  To my lay ears, this sounds like potentially an incentive for conflict.

• 36:05Matt Forde?

  So cynical about Britain's interests, Alice. He picks up his phone. Get me Lord Mountbatten. He needs his first Sea Lord drawing up battle plans as a matter of urgency. Because Eden isn't going to sit around waiting to see who is threatening Egypt. He has to make it crystal clear. British assets in Egypt will not be threatened, whatever it takes.

• 36:40Matt Forde?

  Later that evening, Mansheer Square, Alexandria. Nasser peers around the side of the stage, looks out over the quarter of a million citizens crammed into the plaza, boxed in by the city's grand neoclassical buildings, long lines of palm trees, and even longer lines of blocked traffic. It's 43 degrees out here in the sun, and Nasser is feeling every one of them. He takes a deep breath, pushes back his broad shoulders, and smooths down his immaculate uniform.

• 37:17Matt Forde?

  This evening, he will give the most consequential address of his career, broadcast live on radio to tens of millions of listeners across Egypt and the wider Arab world. But that's not why he's nervous.

• 37:32Matt Forde?

  Tucked into his speech is a code word, a signal for his soldiers to kick down the doors of the Suez Canal Company, seize its officers, and take control of the canal. He's always had a propensity for theatrics. He knows it's part of his appeal as an orator, but even he is starting to question his decision to declare a takeover in real time mid-speech. Because right now, he's not even sure his troops are in position.

• 38:01Alice Levine?

  Okay, this is ridiculous. So he could just say, "Go at half past", or even, "Here's the plan, nothing to do with my speech, don't worry about that, just go, go, go." He's just a drama queen.

• 38:12Matt Forde?

  Gets off on it. He loves knowing that when he says those words, that action will be taking place somewhere, that he has the power, that he's in that level of control.

• 38:22Alice Levine?

  Oh, what a guy.

• 38:26Matt Forde?

  He glances across at his adviser, Haeckel, in concern, then strides out.

• 38:33Matt Forde?

  Assalamu alaikum, brothers and sisters. Nasser glances back to the wings, sees Haeckel stood, holding a radio transceiver. Haeckel mouths, Troops in position. Nasser turns back to the audience. Forty years ago today, our country was liberated. A revolution, long overdue, that has allowed Egypt to realize its glory and grandeur.

• 39:04Matt Forde?

  At the edge of his vision, Haeckel remains motionless. Nasser's fingers start to tingle. For thousands of years, the blood and bones of the Egyptian people have been used by those who would see us subjugated. But no longer. A bead of sweat rolls down his neck as he looks at his script.

• 39:25Matt Forde?

  Almost imperceptibly, he sees Haeckel nod. I was reminded recently of a story about a Frenchman.

• 39:32Alice Levine?

  Here we go.

• 39:34Matt Forde?

  His eyes zero in on the code word. Ferdinand de Lysseps. Haeckel lifts the transceiver. Nasser's heart pounds, but his expression barely changes. Using Egypt's heart and Egypt's muscle, he was able to build a miracle, one the gods themselves could not achieve. A waterway that put our country right at the center of the world's trade. He keeps speaking, but internally, his vision starts to blur. If he doesn't receive confirmation that his troops have succeeded in the next few minutes, he doesn't have a climax to his speech.

• 40:17Matt Forde?

  He tries to block out the 250,000 pairs of eyes on him as he again glances across at Haeckel. We gave up our land to serve the needs of others, and how were we repaid? His palms drip. With ingratitude. Theft. Imperialist brutality. Nasser stands tall, waving at the audience. But his attention remains on Haeckel, sees him rattle his radio, confused.

• 40:51Matt Forde?

  Nasser's skin begins to itch. Then, relief breaks out across Haeckel's face.

• 40:57Alice Levine?

  Oh, thank God.

• 40:59Matt Forde?

  Nasser's heart soars. They're in. Directing his full attention back to the crowd, he drops his script.

• 41:10Matt Forde?

  At this very moment, by my command, our men, our brothers, have just secured control of the Suez Canal Company. Tonight, our Egyptian canal is run once more by Egyptians! The final syllable has barely left his lips before a tidal wave of cheer swells up, smashing into the stage. Fireworks explode above, painting the sky bright colors. Rhythmic chants of Mabruk break out as a parade float depicting a giant sphinx works its way through the crowd. Nasser stands proudly at the center of it, his chest swelling.

• 41:53Matt Forde?

  As the cheers thunder around him, Nasser knows exactly what he's done. He looks out to the crowd. Tonight, Egypt has taken back the canal. He knows that Britain isn't going to let him keep it without a fight. And if they come for him, he intends to be ready.

• 42:21Matt Forde?

  Two hours later, 10 Downing Street. Eden stands from the banquet table. He clears his throat and raises a glass of champagne to toast his guests at his party fundraiser when an aide appears at his elbow. Prime Minister, we have a situation. Can't it wait?

• 42:43Matt Forde?

  The aide holds out a printed wire photo. Eden snatches it, stares at a crowd of young Egyptians cheering around a statue of a Sphinx in Manchuria Square, devouring a soldier clad in Union Jack underpants.

• 42:59Alice Levine?

  It seems unlikely, but do you think this is where Jerry Halliwell got the inspiration?

• 43:04Matt Forde?

  At the centre of it all, Nasser. The young president is everywhere. What in God's name is this? The aide swallows nervously. It's from General Nasser's rally tonight, sir. He's just nationalised the Suez Canal. Eden stares at his aide in disbelief, spits. Nasser, it's Nasser who's behind all this. Eden feels his blood start to boil. He's been drawing up plans to defend Egypt from Israel when in fact, it's Egypt itself.

• 43:44Matt Forde?

  Fifteen minutes later, Eden is still pacing as his hastily convened rabble of ministers sit dumbstruck before him. I fail to understand how British intelligence can be so utterly useless. He loses his train of thought. If that bastard Nasser chokes off the canal, Britain will lose vital access to oil. No oil means no industry, no transport, factories will close, food will rot in warehouses, patients will die in darkened hospitals.

• 44:17Matt Forde?

  Eden turns to the man seated at the table. What are our reserves? His Chancellor, Harold Macmillan, speaks. Roughly six weeks' worth, Prime Minister.

• 44:30Matt Forde?

  Eden feels the blood drain from his face.

• 44:35Matt Forde?

  Six weeks? He looks around the room. He could grind us to a halt by September. He exhales heavily. I want plans for invasion on my desk within the hour. A stunned hush floats over the table.

• 44:52Matt Forde?

  Eden's eyebrows rocket as his Foreign Secretary clears his throat. Prime Minister. Selwyn Lloyd stands, tentatively. Invading a sovereign nation without justifiable grounds is straightforwardly illegal. Eden turns on him. Nasser has just placed his hands around our throat, put a thumb to our windpipe. We have every right to defend ourselves. Lloyd blinks. Prime Minister, this is a corporate matter. Nasser has nationalised an asset. Sir, it requires diplomacy, not warfare.

• 45:33Alice Levine?

  Lloyd really has it right because Nasser hasn't cut Eden off. Eden just doesn't like that there's potential for that. So how on earth could he justify moving in?

• 45:42Matt Forde?

  Yeah, and surely you exhaust all other options before you rush to war. One of them surely would be to do a deal with him, like pay for access. It'd be annoying, but it would mean that you could secure a route for the produce and the provisions that you need. You don't just say immediately we're going to war.

• 46:02Matt Forde?

  Eden slaps the table. We don't have time to bargain with a tyrant. We must take back control. Lloyd barks back. No, our first course of action must be through the United Nations. We have international obligations to see peaceful resolution. Eden glowers darkly. As one of the UN's founding delegates, I am well aware of our obligations, thank you.

• 46:30Matt Forde?

  Plans, gentlemen, within the hour.

• 46:34Matt Forde?

  As the Cabinet file out, Eden silently seethes. Where is the fortitude? Where is the backbone? Where is the spirit that saw such success for Britain in two world wars? He pinches the bridge of his nose. He knows exactly where it's gone. He cannot handle this alone, and his Cabinet isn't up to it. If Britain is going to stare down Nasser, Eden needs someone with experience of taking on a dangerous man, someone who knows what it means to carry the weight of the British Empire on his shoulders.

• 47:14Matt Forde?

  He feels his ulcer pinch, but he has to swallow his pride because he's going to turn to the one leader he knows can help, the one leader he forced out, Sir Winston Churchill.

• 47:37Matt Forde?

  Alice, it is the best time of year. We are just two months away from Christmas.

• 47:42Alice Levine?

  How could we forget how you lose your mind about this time of year? You absolutely go nuts.

• 47:47Matt Forde?

  I know it's a mature, I do, and I'm allergic to nuts. So that tells you how mad I get. I'm even more excited this year because we are having a British Scandal Christmas Party Special with the listeners.

• 47:59Alice Levine?

  Okay, your demeanour is appropriate then. This is massive. We've never done this before.

• 48:03Matt Forde?

  We haven't. This is long overdue. So to secure yourself a non-physical invite to this party, we want to know if you have a connection to a British Scandal character.

• 48:13Alice Levine?

  We cannot stress enough a non-physical invite to the party. And the longer the chain of connections, the better, I think. So we're going to invite you to play the game British Scandal: Seven Degrees of Separation. Make it tenuous.

• 48:26Matt Forde?

  That is a catchy title.

• 48:27Alice Levine?

  Many thanks. Did your nan's neighbours' gardener drive the getaway car in the Millennium Dome heist?

• 48:33Matt Forde?

  Did your great, great, great, great, great grandmother go to school with Mary Queen of Scots? There are prizes and there is glory.

• 48:40Alice Levine?

  To be clear, non-physical invite. Email us at [email protected] with the subject line Christmas Special and please include as much detail and information as possible. The more obscure, the better.

• 48:53Matt Forde?

  We need your entries by the 10th of November, so email us, [email protected].

• 48:59Speaker 06

  In January 1995, 18-year-old Krista Pike and two friends lured a classmate, 19-year-old Colleen Slammer, to an abandoned steam plant and killed her. At just 20 years old, Pike was sentenced to death. Thirty years later, on September 30th, 2026, the state of Tennessee tried to execute her and failed. I'm Candace DeLong, former FBI profiler and host of the podcast Killer Psyche, where we go inside the minds behind the most shocking crimes. In our latest episode, we take you inside the case of Krista Pike. The brutal crime, the childhood of abuse, three decades of appeals, and the night an

• 49:42Speaker 06

  execution went terribly wrong. Follow Killer Psyche wherever you get your podcasts. Audible subscribers can listen to all episodes of Killer Psyche one week early and ad-free right now. Join Audible in the Audible app or by subscribing on Apple Podcasts.

• 50:08Matt Forde?

  The following evening, Chartwell, Kent.

• 50:13Matt Forde?

  Winston Churchill wallows peacefully in his bath, contentedly sucking a cigar. His head swivels towards the door.

• 50:22Matt Forde?

  Clemmie? No response. Churchill grunts, shuffles up to put further welly into his call. Clemmie? Still nothing. Churchill forces his giant frame to his feet, grabs a towel and pads into the hall. Hello, Puggy. Churchill boggles at the unexpected appearance of his niece. Clarissa? Churchill feels his lips tighten as he sees the man hovering sheepishly behind her. Good evening, Winston. Churchill glowers at him. I wondered if you could spare a moment.

• 51:04Matt Forde?

  Upstairs in his study, Churchill pours two brandies, makes them large. Eden's greyness has extended from his hair to his skin. No doubt you saw what transpired in Egypt last night. Churchill nods, handing Eden his drink. When I left office, relations with our former protectorate appeared manifestly robust. He slumps into his chair, watching Eden thumb his glass. The men around me have no wisdom to offer. The perspective I found myself lacking was... Churchill lets Eden stew. Well, it was yours.

• 51:47Alice Levine?

  Me?

• 51:50Matt Forde?

  Sir Winston Churchill, greatest Britain ever.

• 51:54Alice Levine?

  I couldn't.

• 51:56Matt Forde?

  Do go on. What was it about me you missed?

• 52:01Matt Forde?

  Churchill swivels the brandy. He usually enjoys having his counsel sought, but not tonight.

• 52:10Matt Forde?

  Antony, I am eighty-one years of age. I have neither a wish nor the strength to involve myself. So you have no advice for me? For the first time in your life, no opinion to share?

• 52:29Matt Forde?

  Churchill fixes him with a look. Well, I have plenty of opinions. Few, I imagine, you would care to hear. He watches Eden's face crease into a sour smile. You pulled funding for the Aswan Dam. A proud man such as Nasser was never going to let that lie. The man is a thug. I refuse to reward him with our taxpayers' money.

• 53:00Matt Forde?

  Perhaps, but that move was rash. And emboldened a man we were better served having in our pocket. Churchill puffs on his cigar as Eden squirms in his seat. Churchill feels something he doesn't particularly want to. Pity. Eden is evidently exhausted. His cabinet doesn't trust him, he doesn't trust them. And now, he's sitting in Churchill's study, asking the man he replaced to tell him what to do. And that puts Churchill in a complicated position. Because as much as he wishes to extract himself from global politics, he needs Eden to succeed.

• 53:44Matt Forde?

  For Britain, for himself. Churchill looks at the Prime Minister. This is not a man in command. And if he doesn't intervene, there's no telling what damned folly Eden might pursue.

• 54:04Matt Forde?

  Fifteen seconds later.

• 54:07Matt Forde?

  Eden pulls the cigarette from his mouth, blows an impatient cloud of smoke.

• 54:13Matt Forde?

  He's been waiting for the garrulous old buzzard to stop toying with him and finally speak his mind.

• 54:20Matt Forde?

  He's starting to realize he should never have come here. Well, what do you think? He watches Churchill ruminate. You and I have seen up close what happens when Britain appeases zealots, populists who seek to gain power by force. Eden stares at him. Hitler, Mussolini, Hitler? Do you really think that... But I would urge caution in taking military action. Not without the full support of the United States. But Eden's mind is now fixated on Nasser. He could be his Hitler. Well, what business is this of the Americans?

• 55:06Matt Forde?

  We would not have defeated Hitler without them. Eden looks at him pointedly. I don't disagree. But you didn't wait for American approval to take on Hitler. You had Britain lead the charge, to your enduring credit. Churchill shakes his head gravely. The calculus is completely different, Antony.

• 55:27Alice Levine?

  I mean, that is an understatement. It would be a stretch to think of this as the same threat as Hitler. I mean, they're going to lose control of the oil route. Yes, that could potentially be fairly disastrous. Ultimately, though, Churchill's saying, if you keep him on side, though, this doesn't have to be as catastrophic as it's looking right now.

• 55:48Matt Forde?

  Eden bristles. Nasser has seized the canal, threatened Britain's oil supply. Only a fool would think it ends here. Nasser has already made it plain that he intends to unite the Arab world under his pan-Arab nationalism. You never actually met Hitler, did you? Churchill pouts. No, never. I did, more than once, as it turned out. He leans back in his chair. We were dining at some state function in Berlin, spring of thirty-five. Over dinner, he begins telling me about his time in the trenches of the Somme.

• 56:30Matt Forde?

  As he's talking, I find myself gripped by the strangest feeling of déjà vu.

• 56:37Matt Forde?

  Sure enough, it transpired the two of us had both been stationed in Delville Wood, facing one another, across no man's land, less than a hundred yards apart. How extraordinary. I told this story to a French ambassador once. He said, you mean to tell me you could have killed Hitler there and then? Mon Dieu, you would have saved the world a great deal of heartache. Eden picks up his glass. I told him Hitler was just an anonymous Lance Corporal back then. I had no idea who I was facing. This ambassador wrinkled his nose in disgust and said, no, no, no, at dinner. Churchill chuckles, as Clarissa's voice floats up the stairs, calling them down to supper.

• 57:23Matt Forde?

  Swallowing the remainder of his brandy, Eden reflects on the moral of his own story, about how chances appear to us. He's seen how men like this start, how he can fail to spot them, and the devastating upshot of letting them pass. Nasser has made a grave miscalculation. He's moved too soon, too hard, against exactly the wrong enemy. He feels a familiar tightening in his stomach, but this time, he doesn't flinch. Eden's chance is here. Not just to spare the world from a new breed of tyranny, but a chance for him to prove his mettle, to show that he is every bit the leader Churchill was,

• 58:04Matt Forde?

  that Britain remains strong, that the Empire still leads the world. So he's going to grasp it and act. Show Nasser precisely what he is capable of. It's time to finally make Britain great again.

• 58:30Alice Levine?

  You've been listening to British Scandal, an Audible original. Produced by Audible with Samizdat Audio.

• 58:37Matt Forde?

  A quick note about our dialogue. In most cases, we can't know exactly what was said, but all our dramatizations are based on historical research. If you'd like to know more about this story, you can read Eden: The Life and Times of Antony Eden, First Earl of Avon, 1897 to 1977, by D.R. Thorpe. Blood and Sand: Suez, Hungary, and Sixteen Days of Crisis That Changed the World, by Alex von Tunselmann. The Lion's Last Raw: Suez, 1956, by Chester L. Cooper.

• 59:07Alice Levine?

  British Scandal is hosted by me, Alice Levine.

• 59:10Matt Forde?

  And me, Matt Ford. Written by Chris Lockery.

• 59:14Alice Levine?

  The story editor was James Maniac. The senior producer was Chica Ayers. The assistant producer was Louise Mason. The production manager was Louis Blathwick. Recorded by Jai Williams. Sound design by Dan King. The executive producers for Samizdat were Joe Sykes and Dasha Lisitzina.

• 59:40Speaker 01

  Hi, I'm Kenya Paris. And I'm Malcolm Gladwell. We're back for season two of our Audible original podcast, The Unusual Suspects. We'll sit down with extraordinary guests from the worlds of art, film, literature, comedy, and wellness to hear from their unexpected stories of success. And who do we have this season? Well, we'll talk with Grammy-winning artist Anderson Paak, athlete Rich Roll, portrait artist Amy Sherald, Oscar-winning director Ron Howard, legendary writer David Sedaris, and many more. These conversations are more intimate than last season, wouldn't you say? I would. Listen to season one of The Unusual Suspects wherever you get your podcasts and sign up for a free trial Audible to listen to season two in the Audible app or by subscribing to Apple Podcasts.

• 1:00:28Speaker 07

  By 1779, Benedict Arnold had sacrificed more for the revolution than almost any other man in America. One of George Washington's most effective commanders, he had nearly lost a leg in the Second Battle of Saratoga. But in return, Arnold believed he had been humiliated by Congress and cheated of his glory by lesser men. So he decided to make them pay. Hi, I'm Lindsey Graham, the host of the podcast American Scandal. We bring to life some of the biggest controversies in U.S. history: presidential lies, environmental disasters, corporate fraud. In our latest series, Benedict Arnold turns his back on his comrades in the Continental Army and secretly defects to the British. With the help of his wife, he plots to hand over the most important colonial fortress to the enemy

• 1:01:13Speaker 07

  and doom the revolution he once served. Follow American Scandal wherever you get your podcasts. Audible subscribers can binge all episodes of American Scandal early and ad-free right now. Join Audible in the Audible app or by subscribing on Apple Podcasts.