698 Glenn Beck on Suicide and Addiction to Riches and Fame

If the world says “you’re enough” and you don’t believe it, it doesn’t matter. If you are the only person in the world who says “I am enough,” that’s all you need. How you finish the phrase “I am” will change your entire life. Saying “I am worthless” or “I am stupid” speaks those words into existence. If you don’t finish the phrase “I am,” someone else will fill it in for you. It could be your parents, your partner, or even your critics. The truth is, you are special. You are loved. You are enough. On this episode, I discuss this idea with a powerful and polarizing media personality: Glenn Beck. Glenn Beck is founder of TheBlaze, a news and entertainment network, where he hosts The Glenn Beck Show. He’s a renowned American media personality, political commentator, and author. Glenn has lived through a lot of tragedy in his life. He has chosen to use all that he’s been through to get to where he is today. He’s not perfect nor does he expect anyone else to be. Glenn makes the argument that we should stop making people into heroes or villains. Learn all about Glenn’s journey and how he thinks about the bigger picture instead of getting outraged on Episode 698. Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is episode number 698 with number one New York Times bestselling author Glenn Beck.

• 0:08Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:33Lewis Howes?

  Albert Einstein said, "The only source of knowledge is experience." And boy, do we have someone on today's episode who has a wealth of experience. And who's going to reveal some very powerful insights in today's interview. Glenn Beck is on, and this one may shock you in some ways. Some of the things that Glenn talks about, I'll talk about that in a second. But man, he really opened up in ways I've never seen him open up before. So stay tuned for that. But for me, the only source of knowledge is experience. And I want to let you guys know that the Summit of Greatness is a week away. That's right. In seven days, we will be in Columbus, Ohio with some of the biggest speakers in the world.

• 1:16Lewis Howes?

  We've got Dr. Eric Thomas, Dr. Shafali, Jay Shetty, Amy Purdy, Dr. Mark Hyman, Sean T., Dr. Teri Rye Trant, Lindsay Sterling, all coming to speak. We've got Wyclef Jean doing the closing party. It's going to be a performance you will want to be at. So make sure to check out summitofgreatness.com. This is all about taking your life to the next level with some experience, some wisdom, and some knowledge for you to take home for yourself. So check it out at summitofgreatness.com. Now Glenn Beck is an American conservative political commentator, radio host and television producer.

• 1:55Lewis Howes?

  He is the CEO, founder, and owner of Mercury Radio Arts, the parent company of his television radio network, The Blaze. He hosts the Glenn Beck Radio Program, which is a popular talk radio show nationally syndicated on premier radio networks. Beck also hosts the Glenn Beck television program, which ran from January 2006 to 2008 on HLN, from January to 2009 to 2011 on the Fox News Channel, and currently airs on The Blaze. He's also written six New York Times bestselling books. And today, we talk about incredible insights from his life, going from being one of the most celebrated people on the planet to one of the most hated people in the world in just one year,

• 2:38Lewis Howes?

  and what that was like and the eye-opening experience that he felt internally from that. Also, what it's like for Glenn recovering from being an alcoholic, and how that changed his life and his perspectives. Also, why the two most important words in any language are, "I am," and talking more about that. His relationship with his father's emotional distance, his mother's suicide, and growing up in an emotionally abusive household, and how that impacted his life. Also, what it was like going to college at 30, right after his divorce, how he got into doing radio at only 13 years old, and by 20 was making a quarter million dollars. There are some fascinating stories in this interview.

• 3:21Lewis Howes?

  And no matter what your political views are or what you thought about Glenn in the past, I would love for you to listen to this with an open mind and an open heart to hear the stories that Glenn shares and how it can impact and open up your life as well. I think you'll find it very insightful. Again, a big thank you to our sponsors, and I'm so excited about this episode. We've had some massive guests on lately, and Glenn is going to reveal some things you've never heard before, and hopefully you'll look at him and his insights in a powerful way. So, without further ado, let's give it up for the one, the only Glenn Beck.

• 3:58Speaker 01

  What almost killed me was certitude.

• 4:03Speaker 01

  What do you mean by certitude? Being absolutely certain. About one idea? One idea, yeah, that, that this is what is happening. This is the way. This is the way. And so when people started, my audience started to say, no, Trump. I'm like, have you listened to my show ever? This is what I warned about. This is the kind of guy that we've talked about. He just has an R after his name, but this is the guy. And so I just, I unfortunately spent about 18 months lecturing them, which didn't make me real popular. Right. And, um. Probably lost a lot of your audience. Oh, yeah, tons. So then when I fall into like, okay, I'm just done. I can't do this anymore.

• 4:48Speaker 01

  I realized I've always had a good relationship with my audience. I have great, I love my audience. I love them. I've always respected them. They're voracious readers and I didn't know who they were. And then I realized my mistake.

• 5:08Speaker 01

  I was so certain and so arrogant that here's a group of people that I've respected and I, and I like them. And instead of doing what I would have done to my family or my friends that I really know one-on-one. If you and I are friends and you start doing stuff that you're like, what the, what are you doing? Yeah. Okay. If you're my friend, I say, what the hell's happening in your life? Hmm. What's wrong? What's, what happened? I wouldn't come to you and say, you're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong. I would say, what's happening in your life? What's going on? Right, what's going on? So I started asking that on both sides.

• 5:53Speaker 01

  To your audience or? Yeah, my audience. I went on the air. I started going to, I was invited to a big VC thing here by a guy who was just curious about me. He was like watching and listening and is like, I don't know who he is, but he's not who I thought he was. And so he invited me to his, um, his big LA summit for Silicon Valley VC and.

• 6:20Speaker 01

  I started with, how many people in the room right now are convinced you hate me? 95%, okay? And I said, "Don't be shy." And nobody was. They were just like, "Me, I hate you." Everyone in the room said that they hate you. Yeah, there are 1,000 people there, and I will bet you 950 of them raised their- When you ask publicly, "How many do you hate me?" How many think you hate me? Wow. And I said, "Give me 20 minutes, and I don't want to ask you that again." I started just bearing my soul and- What did you share? I started with, "Boy, I was stupid."

• 7:03Speaker 01

  I really, on so many levels, I was stupid. I misjudged almost everything. And with good intent, but- In your life, or just in your time? No, in my career, you know? I was in 90, or in 2005 or '06. I don't know, sometime, sometime when I was at CNN. I was on vacation, it was Christmas time, and my wife comes into the room, and she's laughing. I said, "What?" She's got her, she's got her iPad or whatever, and she said, "Let me read this. This is from the AP,

• 7:48Speaker 01

  and it was the annual list of the most admired men in the world. I was number four, just behind Nelson Mandela and tied with the Pope." Okay? Wow. So I understood why my wife was laughing. And we were like, "This is how screwed up America is." What year was this? 2006, '07, somewhere in that area. Most admired men- In the world. You know that survey they come out with every year? Wow. Okay? And it was insane. It was insane. I don't belong on that list. That's nuts. A year later, I'm hated by- I go to South Africa, and they hate me. I'm like on the other side of the planet, and I'm like,

• 8:33Speaker 01

  "How do you even know enough about me to hate me?" Why did they hate you? I think the media, you know, soundbite culture, and a lot of stuff that I said, that I address here, you know, like with-

• 8:48Speaker 01

  I give somebody a pass on calling Donald Trump a racist because I truly understand why they said it. And it is what I pondered after I said that about Obama. And it all of a sudden all made sense to me. And now here we are as a country and everybody's turned into the worst cartoon of me. You know, and I'm like, no, stop, stop. Both sides, remember how you felt when I said that? Or do you remember how you felt when they said that? Stop doing that. It's great to get your teeth kicked in.

• 9:33Speaker 01

  It's really good. It's really good.

• 9:35Lewis Howes?

  What's the greatest thing about doing that? About having that happen to you?

• 9:40Speaker 01

  You learn.

• 9:40Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 9:41Speaker 01

  You learn. You either crumble or you get up. I mean, I would not wish this on anyone. But I was thinking about this today. So I was listening to one of your podcasts. I was listening to the podcast about you on your friend's podcast. I can't remember what it is, so hard work.

• 10:01Lewis Howes?

  Work hard, play hard, yeah.

• 10:03Speaker 01

  We have a lot in common.

• 10:05Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, I realized that when you interviewed me a year ago. I was like, I could really feel you, you know?

• 10:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, and so I was trying to think, you know, what are the best things that ever happened to me? My mother's suicide.

• 10:17Lewis Howes?

  You were 15, right?

• 10:18Speaker 01

  Yep, my mother's suicide. Having half the country hate my guts. My business failures here and there. And anything, those are probably my top three. No, sorry. Number one, alcoholism. Best thing, yeah, best thing that ever happened to me.

• 10:37Lewis Howes?

  How long were you addicted for?

• 10:39Speaker 01

  I started smoking pot when I was 15, every single day.

• 10:43Lewis Howes?

  For 15 years, right?

• 10:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, just over 15 years. And drinking.

• 10:50Speaker 01

  Easy a gallon of Jack Daniels a week. Easy with my eyes closed. And that only because I wasn't an alcoholic. Because alcoholics drink before five. So I would only drink from 5pm. I would literally, literally stand in my kitchen and I would watch the clock. No way. I really would. Why was that? Because you didn't want to be known as an alcoholic? I wasn't an alcoholic. Alcoholics are drunk all day. They drink in the morning, they're drunk at work, they're laying, you know, in the gutter. They've lost everything. I'm not an alcoholic. And my problem was I was a very high functioning alcoholic. Like no one. How did you get on camera and? This is before camera. And I was never drunk at work. Really? Never drunk. So you would wake up and somehow sober yourself?

• 11:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'd be sober enough to go on the air. And I would go through the whole day and at 5 o'clock. I still have, it's a blue tumbler. It's about that big, about that tall. I used to fill it with Jack and I'd have at least three of those between 5 and 6. Oh my gosh. Why were you drinking so much? What was the purpose for? I hated me. I mean, in a nutshell, I hated me. What did you hate about yourself? Oh gosh, I don't think we have enough time. What did you, was there anything you liked about yourself? So at 13 years old, I get into radio. And I was awful, but for a 13 year old, not bad. Yeah. You know?

• 12:20Speaker 01

  By 16, I'm, I'm working at the biggest station in Seattle. And the guy who, the name is Michael O'Shea. He was the programmer of the year from the, in the 70s, programmer of the decade. In the 70s, the 80s and many years in a row in the 60s. And he was the general manager. And for some reason, he took me under his wing. Really taught me a lot and, and treated me like an adult. And I remember hearing conversations with people who are really quite good. That they didn't know I could hear saying. This kid is fifteen. Can you imagine what he's gonna be like when he's twenty-five? Ooh. Horrible. Why is that? Because it's kind of.

• 13:04Speaker 01

  Because I absolutely believed it. You're like, I'm gonna be like the greatest thing in the world. Oh, yeah. And I'm, I'm a wonderkin. I'm the chosen one. I'm like. Right. Yeah. And I became convinced of my success. Convinced, which in, in a way, good and bad, you know. It got you there. Got me there. But could never truly break through to big success. I mean, I'm twenty and I'm making a quarter of a million dollars a year. It's pretty good back. In the eighties. It's really good. Uh, yeah. So, but I never could break through on gigantic success. And I couldn't figure out why. And the reason why is it wasn't me. Hmm.

• 13:48Speaker 01

  It was, I was, it was a formula. I didn't go to parties, you know, in high school. I didn't, I didn't have a lot of friends. I wasn't, I was interested in the craft. Mm-hmm. And so I knew, there's no one that can beat me, I think even today. I know how to use a camera. Yeah. And I know how to use a microphone. I study my craft. First day I was at CNN, I freaked the president of CNN out. There was like this, uh, there was this door in the hallway and it just said shading. You know what shading is for television? No. So shading is the color bars they show. Yeah. Okay. You have to tell the camera what color is what color. And so by changing the yellow, it will change the other colors. Got it.

• 14:33Speaker 01

  Okay. So shading is, is this wonderful toolbox in television. If you could ever watch all three cable news networks, you will see shading in play. And you will see the richness of the colors of, of MSNBC and NBC. Yeah. They just, it's beautiful in their colors. Yeah. I didn't know anything about it. My first day on the job, I see this store, it says shading.

• 15:00Speaker 01

  Knock on the door and this guy comes out and he's like a, he's almost like a mole. He's like, hadn't seen the daylight and you know, he's like, what? And a bunch of guys in there and nobody ever talks to the shaders. I mean, you know, they're the guys who work on the color. Nobody's talking to them. And I said, hey, I'm new. What's shading? And you know, you ask somebody who's never asked what their job is, they're excited.

• 15:27Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, they're like, oh, let me show you everything.

• 15:28Speaker 01

  Right, right. So I'm in there and, and we're just talking and I'm learning all this stuff. And he takes me out on the floor and he opens up the side of one of the cameras. And I'm just learning all this great stuff. And here comes Ken Jous, he's the head of CNN. And he sees the shading and the camera opened up and he's like, good God, man. What are you doing to, you know, to the shader? I see Ken and I'm like, Ken, I just discovered shading. This is the greatest thing ever. They can change and make my eyes bluer than they are. And he was like, oh, dear God. Okay.

• 16:09Lewis Howes?

  You, you understood the formula.

• 16:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:12Lewis Howes?

  The craft, you started to master the craft.

• 16:13Speaker 01

  I started the craft.

• 16:15Lewis Howes?

  Day one.

• 16:15Speaker 01

  Right.

• 16:16Lewis Howes?

  Like, I'm gonna sharpen this and pop that and.

• 16:18Speaker 01

  Right. Why not?

• 16:20Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 16:20Speaker 01

  Why not?

• 16:20Lewis Howes?

  Optimize it.

• 16:21Speaker 01

  Right.

• 16:22Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 16:22Speaker 01

  And so I was not successful because I was a formula. My father and I were never close. And then in my thirties, when I started sober up, we became very close. He was my best friend. And then about five years before his death, we had a bad falling out. We, we didn't ever talk again.

• 16:47Lewis Howes?

  Why is that?

• 16:48Speaker 01

  I come from a family of abuse and.

• 16:53Lewis Howes?

  Physical, sexual, verbal, emotional?

• 16:57Speaker 01

  Verbal, emotional. I was not a target. Nobody in my family had ever had this conversation with my dad before. My dad was always distant. He worked really hard. That's one thing I got from him. But he was, he was really brilliant. And I didn't know it. I just thought he was a baker, you know? He's my dad.

• 17:16Lewis Howes?

  Right, right.

• 17:16Speaker 01

  And when he came out, so I was thirty and I'm starting to sober up. And I, I said, Dad. I don't know how to be your son. I want to be a good son. And he said, I don't know how to be your dad, but I, I wanna be your dad. Wow. He said, so, Wow. if you will sit through the uncomfortable silence while I'm searching for something to say, I will do the same with you. And we'll find our way. So we did. And you were thirty at this time? Yeah. And we became very close. Because my father, I didn't realize this. My father, he ran away from home at sixteen

• 18:01Speaker 01

  because his father was abusive to not only him, but also to his mom, my grandmother. And he was a dirtbag. He was a really bad guy. My grandfather had had strokes, so I only remember him. I was terrified of him growing up because I could see that he was in there. My, my earliest memory of my grandfather was looking in his eyes and somehow knowing, another knowing, he's fully in there? He's trapped. Hmm. And I remember he, he started to say something and he couldn't, and a tear ran down his Oh, my gosh. cheek. And it scared the hell out of me. But I didn't know anything about my dad.

• 18:46Speaker 01

  So he runs away to Los Angeles, sixteen. He stays at the Y. He's raped repeatedly. He's, this is horrible, horrible life. He goes, or early childhood. He goes and he finds a church. He becomes close to the pastor in the church. And he shows up one day and the pastor's being taken out in handcuffs because he's been stealing from the church. And my dad was like, okay, all right, I'm done. Yeah. I'm done. And the pastor is going to jail. Pastor's going to jail. He meets this guy here in LA who, if you don't know him, you should. You should read his stuff. He's dead. His name is Ernest Holmes.

• 19:27Speaker 01

  He started a church that's very California. It's like, alright, now listen to this one. It's called the Church of Religious Science. Okay. And it's non-denominational. In fact, it's not... It has no doctrine to it. It's just, here's how the engine of the universe works. Okay? You can put anything, you would whatever, you could be a sports car, it could be a bus, but this is the engine and it drives everything. And its main principle is, revolves around "I am." And my father used to say to me, all the time as a kid, "What are the two most important words in any language?" I know, Dad, "I am."

• 20:13Speaker 01

  And I didn't really, I mean, I was rote and I could tell you, but I didn't connect with it until I was 30, in, you know, my early 30s. And I was reading part of the Bible where Moses is up on the mountain and he says, "Who shall I say sent me?" Moses is, in today's telling, he's a loser. He's a, he stutters. He's, he's, he's not the guy. If you're God, you're like, okay, come on, I'm God. I can get somebody better than this. Sure. Okay? And he says, "Who shall I say sent me?"

• 20:50Speaker 01

  Most powerful part of the Bible. "I am that I am." Now, that's where my father left that with me. In my 30s, I start to ponder it and I start really reading that. And I start thinking, why is "I am" throughout the scriptures always capitalized? Always. Name of God.

• 21:13Speaker 01

  Wait a minute, that changes things. If I go back now to the Ten Commandments, Thou shalt not take the Lord thy God's name in vain. Well, his name isn't God. It's not Jesus. It's not Yahweh. That's what we gave him. He said, "I am." So by taking his name in vain is when we say, "I'm worthless. I am incapable. I am stupid." I'm ugly. I'm ugly because, as you know, as you think, it becomes. All thought is creative. And so if you're thinking these things, you will create that. And we all say it all the time.

• 21:55Speaker 01

  And so I had spent my life... What were you saying after "I am"? At the beginning, "I'm the greatest," which turned me into a monster, okay? No humility and 20, making, you know, quarter of a million dollars. You do not want to be, okay? I fired a guy for bringing me the wrong pen one day. Wow. I was signing autographs. I'm 25. I'm signing autographs. By the way, we're good friends now, the two of us. We laugh about this all the time. But he was my producer and I signed with a Sharpie. And he brought me a regular pen to this signing.

• 22:39Speaker 01

  And I said, "Hey, next time, bring me a Sharpie, will you? I only want to sign with Sharpies." He's like, "Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry." Next time I'm out, he brings me a regular pen. I fired him. And the guy I worked with said, "Hey, where's Tom?" And I said, "Oh, I fired him. What an incompetent guy." And he went, "What? He's great. What are you talking about?" He didn't fire him. I said, "Yes, he's incompetent." What did he do? Brought me the wrong pen. He brought... And saying it like, "You're not gonna believe this. He brought me the wrong pen. What a monster, okay? What a monster." Wow. So thinking, "I'm the greatest," bad. Bad. Then that was followed by...

• 23:26Speaker 01

  I'm a monster. Really? At what age? Probably twenty... I mean, diehard twenty-eight, you know? Um, started, it was always there. I was always conflicted. Back and forth. Back and forth. I'm the greatest, I'm a monster. You know, the song, Billy Joel wrote this song called "I Go to Extremes"? It- That was you. Was me. Depending on the day, the mood, the- I am perfectly right or wrong every time. Wow. Okay. What do you say now? I am what? I'm happy. I am kind. Uh, I am curious. Uh, I'm better today than I was yesterday.

• 24:09Speaker 01

  My father, when I, when I was trying to first get a handle on my sobriety, I called my dad and, uh, there's two important lessons right at the beginning with my father. I'm feeling bad for myself and I'm trying to figure out what I can do. My father said, "I want you to do something for me tomorrow." He said, um, "I want you, right now, tonight, go get a yellow notepad, or a, you know, small notepad." He said, "I want you, I want you to draw a line down the middle and I just want you to put positive, negative, okay?"

• 24:50Speaker 01

  He said, "When you get up tomorrow, and I want you, there at your bed stand, when you get up tomorrow, the first thought you have, no matter what it is, don't judge it, don't think, just ask, positive or negative." He said, "Keep that all day. And then, let's talk about it tomorrow night." Okay. I remember I got up, because I was doing mornings at the time, got up about 4:30. You were living in New York City at the time? Uh, no, I was living in Connecticut. Connecticut, okay. Get up at 4:30, maybe 4:45. By 5:30, I was done with the experiment. I will never forget. All negative? All negative. I was, by that time, I was at a stoplight in Cheshire, Connecticut.

• 25:34Speaker 01

  I could tell you right where it was by Sleeping Giant Park, you know, pivot points in your life. And I'm sitting there and I have a thought, I don't even know where it was, but I remember putting another hash mark and looking, and there was like 35 negative, no positives. Before you even got to work? I was just still waking up, basically. I'd gotten up, taken a shower, thrown my clothes on, got in the car. I was halfway to work, all negative. I called my dad that morning and I said, "We'll talk tonight," but I got it. Yeah. And, uh... I got the lesson, yeah. Right, I got the lesson, I got the lesson. And his philosophy has always been, "Change your thinking, change your life." Wow, so a wise man. Very wise man.

• 26:17Speaker 01

  So, let me go back to the story about my dad. Yeah. My dad struggles. He's a kid, he's having all kinds of problems. He runs into this guy, Ernest Holmes. He, he finds this philosophy, but it's, it's cold. There's no spiritual aspect to it. It's just the mathematics of, of how the universe works. Yeah. You know, the power of the mind. But it's not meant to be anything but that. You go find whatever it is you want to dress it up as, you know? And my father decides, "I am not going to be my father."

• 26:59Speaker 01

  Abusive, yeah. Okay, I'm, this is key. "I am not going to be my father." I am not, yeah. Doesn't work. Mm-hmm. And what he did, because if you don't fill in the "I am,"

• 27:18Speaker 01

  It will be filled in through life. Or worse, there's always somebody that wants to fill it in for you. And somebody filled it in for my dad. And it was my mom. And it's in the 1960s, women's roles are changing. She's caught in this place to where she's not a women's liberal, burn your bra, but she's not a stay-at-home mom. But the culture where she lived and all of the people she she was a stay-at-home mom, even though that's not who she was. And, you know, everything was so early and changing so rapidly.

• 28:01Speaker 01

  And my dad was owning his own bakery and they were working so hard that he told me later, he said, Glenn, I feel so stupid. I never even, I never even thought of it. Your mom should have, she always wanted to own her own flower shop. She was very artistic. And she was, you know, she was Martha Stewart. And he said, she should have had her own thing. We could have done, you know, bakery in her right next door or whatever. He said, but it was just different, different time and we didn't even think that way. So she started to resent my sisters because they had opportunities in front of them. Your mom resented your sisters. Wow.

• 28:42Speaker 01

  And she started taking her life out or her missed opportunities and the things that she thought I'll never be able to do. She started taking those out on my sisters. And she started to just rip my father apart. She was, she could be a very cruel person. I was the one in the family, lucky enough. I was the family jester, I guess. I was the one that could make everybody laugh and was like, hey, hey, let's not notice that, you know, somebody's just got a knife in their back in this funny. You know, just keep things moving.

• 29:22Speaker 01

  And he didn't realize, really, I think, until the end of his life, what he had done. And he just became his mom. He wasn't his dad, he was his mom. And

• 29:39Speaker 01

  And he did his best. Then my mom dies. He marries somebody else. She's even worse.

• 29:47Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 29:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, when my, my dad dies.

• 29:49Lewis Howes?

  Oh, man.

• 29:50Speaker 01

  We move in with my father. We're not allowed to talk about my mother at all. Like, a week after her death.

• 29:57Lewis Howes?

  Oh, my.

• 29:58Speaker 01

  No one can talk about it.

• 29:59Lewis Howes?

  That's horrible.

• 30:00Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 30:01Lewis Howes?

  Can't grieve, you can't.

• 30:02Speaker 01

  Horrible, horrible.

• 30:04Lewis Howes?

  It's like she was never there.

• 30:05Speaker 01

  Yes, and that just fuels, I mean. And she's even worse to my sisters. You know, this time I get it too. But she's, she's horrible.

• 30:16Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 30:17Speaker 01

  And, um.

• 30:18Lewis Howes?

  Why did your father put up with that?

• 30:22Speaker 01

  I think because he thought that's all he deserved.

• 30:25Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 30:27Speaker 01

  He was so intent on not being the abuser. He was so focused on, I will never do that to my children.

• 30:38Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 30:39Speaker 01

  That caused the separation because he was, he was always awkward. I remember we, we went fishing once. I begged him to go fishing with me. And I, oh, I'm 10. It was the worst experience with my father ever.

• 30:55Lewis Howes?

  Why?

• 30:56Speaker 01

  He used to get beaten by his father on fishing trips. I didn't know that. And, um, so he was just, he told me later, he was just freaking out the whole time.

• 31:06Lewis Howes?

  Traumatic, yeah.

• 31:06Speaker 01

  You know, just that's trauma. And it was horrible and I didn't know why. It was horrible. I just knew dad was not fun and not having fun. And I felt completely alone. And that's kind of where I kind of, kind of gave up on my dad on, you know, my dad's just weird.

• 31:24Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 31:25Speaker 01

  But he never abused us. And I think that was his very narrow goal.

• 31:33Lewis Howes?

  But in some ways, never abusing you kind of abused you.

• 31:38Speaker 01

  He said to me one time, two things. It's probably eight. And I have no idea why he said this, but I remember him saying it. And he was sitting in, in a chair and he said, son, come here for a second. And I came over and I sat right in front of him. And he said, do you know what the job is of a son? I'm like, no. And he said.

• 32:08Speaker 01

  The job of a son, and this includes me with my dad, because I'm a son too. So the job of a son is to look at what the father has done and which direction he's taking the football. And he picks that football up from his father, because his father will eventually put it down. And he has to ask himself, is my dad running in the right direction? Wow. If your dad's running in the right direction, it's now your job to take that football and move it down the field, knowing you'll never score the point. You're just trying to move it further down the field in the right direction.

• 32:51Speaker 01

  Pick it up, and when you're done and can do no more, you put it down and your son evaluates and picks it up. Wow. Never made sense to me until towards the end of his life. And he gets into this, into this place where now he's 75 and I'm sober and we're good friends. And my middle sister is hit by my stepmother. Hit? Hit. Yeah. Hit. She hit her? Hit her. Punch her? Yeah.

• 33:35Speaker 01

  There was plenty of verbal abuse, but there had not been physical violence. How old was she? 35. Wow. Yeah. And my sister, my sisters, I just love them so much. They're still dealing with a lifetime of being told they were awful. They're worthless. They were, they married, both of them married abusive men. The day my mother killed herself, the night before ended with a serious fight with my middle sister.

• 34:15Speaker 01

  And my middle sister went to bed thinking to herself, I wish she were dead. Oh, man. Imagine that? Because she had a fight, the next morning we wake up, mom's not there. And I knew something was wrong, Shell knew something was wrong. I didn't even remember this. But apparently, you know, fifteen year old boy remembering the fight that they had, I said, if something is wrong, okay?

• 34:42Lewis Howes?

  Oh.

• 34:43Speaker 01

  Okay?

• 34:44Lewis Howes?

  And then she doesn't come back?

• 34:45Speaker 01

  She didn't come back, she's dead. We as children have to go identify her in the morgue. And

• 34:51Lewis Howes?

  You had to go see her?

• 34:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:53Lewis Howes?

  All together?

• 34:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:55Lewis Howes?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 34:56Speaker 01

  And you just told It was just me and my sister at that point. My older sister was, had moved away. My dad was in Alaska.

• 35:02Lewis Howes?

  And you just told your sister five hours before, ten hours before?

• 35:05Speaker 01

  Something happened. Okay, now I wasn't thinking that anymore. And we're such a dysfunctional family, we don't, we don't ever talk. We didn't talk.

• 35:15Speaker 01

  Years later, I sober up, I'm thirties, and I call my sisters and my brother and I said, "Okay, we, we need to get together. Can, can we just get together this weekend?" "Sure, what do you want to talk about?" "Uh, I, I think we should talk about some things that we really haven't talked about." You know, not even willing to say that, because I'm afraid somebody's gonna say, "No, I'm not gonna talk about that." So they all get together. And we're sitting in my, my eldest sister's house, in her living room. And it's bone quiet. And, uh, my eldest sister said, "So, what do you want to talk about?"

• 35:54Lewis Howes?

  To you?

• 35:54Speaker 01

  To me. And I said, "I think we should talk about mom."

• 35:59Lewis Howes?

  Because no one ever talked about it?

• 36:00Speaker 01

  Ever.

• 36:01Lewis Howes?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 36:02Speaker 01

  And my middle sister, Michelle,

• 36:08Speaker 01

  jumps up out of the chair and she comes across the room and she points her finger in my chest. And she says, "I did not kill mom."

• 36:18Lewis Howes?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 36:19Speaker 01

  I don't even remember, okay? I don't remember what I said. And I said, "Of course you didn't. What are you talking about?" She said, "You said to me, the morning that we found out about mom, if something's wrong." I'm like, "Oh, my gosh." My sisters have been living, one sister had been living that hell. My other sister is living the same kind of hell with an abusive who also had just killed himself. No way. Okay. My sister, yeah, ready for this one? My sister is a shipwreck. My middle sister, she marries an abusive guy. They have a horrible fight.

• 37:02Speaker 01

  She goes to bed and she thinks it'd be better if he were dead. The next day, he goes scuba diving in the same water where my mother was. No. And dies. No, he doesn't. As a heart attack. No way. So they're just, they're broken. They're just Holy cow. Broken. And Oh, my gosh. And we, and we're not a family that talks about anything. So all of that is just crushing them, just crushing them. And yet somehow or another, they're both still wonderful. They're just wonderful. But they they just want somebody to love them.

• 37:46Speaker 01

  They just want somebody to say, "You're good. You're special. You are. You're worthy. You're worth it." I can't imagine the IMs that they had said to themselves. So, in my 30s. How did that family session end? She's yelling at you, pointing at you? We begin the long process of healing. Yeah. My sister, that particular sister, Michelle and I, we never spoke. We never spoke. After my mother died, I I mean, it's not like we, you know, "I'm never talking to you again." We just never did. Right. And, and we were not close.

• 38:30Speaker 01

  And now I talk to her as much as I possibly can. We text each other all the time. And she is one of my favorite women on earth. She is

• 38:45Speaker 01

  She overcompensates.

• 38:48Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 38:48Speaker 01

  She, she will almost smother that puppy with love. You know, but she's grown to be so strong. I'm so proud of her because she's just strong now. She was going through abuse and I called her up and I said, "I'm getting on a plane right now and I'm coming for you. And I'm gonna, we're gonna pack up your stuff and you're coming. I don't care if you have to live with me, but you're not living this way another day." And at the time, she wouldn't move, pack up. She packed suitcase, she came and she stayed with me for a few weeks.

• 39:33Speaker 01

  And I tried to convince her to move. She said, "I won't, I won't." And she, for the children and all of that garbage. But her better point was, "On my terms, on my terms." And she started saving money. She started working. She became herself where she was a little lamb being led to slaughter. Do not screw with my sister now. You know, and it's good, it's good.

• 40:12Lewis Howes?

  Wow. What do you think's the greatest adversity you've faced? Because it sounds like you've gone through a lot of different challenges from a very young age. What's been the most challenging adversity? And what was the lesson that adversity taught you?

• 40:32Speaker 01

  I don't know, they all are so different and so good in the end.

• 40:38Lewis Howes?

  Where do you think you'd be if your mom was still alive?

• 40:44Speaker 01

  So I call my dad. Thirty-two, thirty-three, and I'm still whining, you know, I'm still trying. I'm a dry drunk. I'm not drinking, but I'm barely holding on, you know? And, uh, and I'm not willing to really face. I was not willing yet to even talk about my mom. And, cause I'm, I'm in the place where like, no, no, I'm fine. That doesn't bother me. Weak people, that bothers. I'm totally fine. I call my dad and I'm whining. And he's a baker and he says, and, and without any indication that he's mocking me, he says, "Oh, my gosh, you are so right, son.

• 41:28Speaker 01

  You've had such a hard life." Me not knowing yet about his life.

• 41:34Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 41:34Speaker 01

  "You are so right, you've had such..." He said, "You know what? I have some bread in the oven. I have to get it out. Would you do me a favor? Would you write a list of all of the bad things that happened to you? And rank them. I want you to really think of, rank them. What's the worst? And then will you call me tonight?" I said, "Yeah." And I'm all empowered. Yeah, somebody finally is listening to me. I hang up the phone and I start making a list. I get about three into it, top of my list, my mother's suicide. And I'm starting to think, okay, so what else? What else? What else? What else could I complain about? What else is really horrible for me? And then as I'm looking at that list, I'm like, you know, if my mom hadn't have killed herself,

• 42:18Speaker 01

  then I wouldn't have moved with my dad, which would mean that I wouldn't have, you know, started my job here.

• 42:26Lewis Howes?

  The radio station, yeah.

• 42:27Speaker 01

  The whole thing. My whole life starts to unravel.

• 42:30Lewis Howes?

  Wouldn't make a quarter million as a twenty-year-old.

• 42:31Speaker 01

  Right. And I start to then look at all of them that I had written. I think I maybe, maybe I had five of them down. And I'm like, "Oh, that SOB." And I call my dad, phone rings. "City bakery." I said, "You don't have any bread in the oven, do you?" And he just laughed and he said, "You are quicker than I thought."

• 42:53Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 42:54Speaker 01

  He said, "What'd you discover?" And I said, "Something that I suddenly remember you saying to me all the time as a kid. There is no bad." Unless you don't do anything with it. It's what you do with it that matters.

• 43:12Lewis Howes?

  I like that one.

• 43:13Speaker 01

  Is that great?

• 43:14Lewis Howes?

  That's great. Wow, so you started to reflect on all these challenges and bad things that happened, but how they set you up for a greater life.

• 43:22Speaker 01

  Right, if you can be crushed, it's why, one of the reasons, you know, in our society, we are now saying, "Don't say that, that's trigger." "Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't." We can't talk about rape in colleges, because what if someone was raped?

• 43:44Speaker 01

  Let me take it out of that emotional thing.

• 43:49Speaker 01

  I had to pay for my own college and it wasn't until I was 30, and I could only afford one class at the end because it turned out my first day of class was the day my wife and I decided to get a divorce. So I had no money. So I had one semester and one class that I could afford. And it's interesting to go to college as a, as an undergraduate at 30.

• 44:14Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, it's different.

• 44:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, because they don't really care. They're not there to learn anything. I wanted every dime out of that dollar.

• 44:22Lewis Howes?

  You had to put that.

• 44:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, but yeah. And.

• 44:26Lewis Howes?

  It was Yale, right?

• 44:27Speaker 01

  Yeah. And the best professor ever, Wayne Meeks, changed my life. He said, "For half of, for half of the class, I swore he believed X. The next half, I swore he believed Y." And he had fought me on both sides. He said to me one time, I ask a question, and he said.

• 45:03Speaker 01

  Mr. Beck, what are you reading right now? And I said, I'm reading Dominic Crossan. Now Dominic Crossan is a Catholic theologian that has some pretty wild thoughts. And he said, oh, don't, don't read Dominic Crossan. Don't, don't read him. He said, he'll screw you up. I want you to read this. And I said, okay. Next week comes, I raise my hand. He said, yes, Mr. Beck. And I said, back to my original question. And he said, are you still reading Dominic Crossan? And I said, yes, sir. He said, what did I tell you last week? I said, you told me to read this. I did. We can talk about that. I read all that.

• 45:46Speaker 01

  I don't want you to tell me why I shouldn't read Dominic Crossan, or I don't want you to tell me not to read it. I want to know why you think he's so dangerous. I want to know what it is he's actually saying. I'll decide whether or not it's worth reading. But anybody who tells you not to read something, read that book. Yeah. He said, could I see you after class? I'm like, yes. He takes me to the, I don't know, professor's lounge, or whatever it was, we're having lunch. He said, why are you here, Mr. Beck? I said, because my life is out of control and I need answers. I don't think I actually know anything.

• 46:30Speaker 01

  And he said, so what have you been reading? And I told him this long list. I was reading Immanuel Kant, which makes your eyes bleed. And he said, who's guiding you through that? And I said, nobody, me. And he said, you're reading this collection of books and you're doing it by yourself? And I said, yeah, and I, I can't make heads or tails of it. Right. And he said, of course not. And I just kind of looked down. Game changing, game changing pivot point.

• 47:06Speaker 01

  I have my hands here on the table. And he reaches across the table and he grabs my hand. And he said, "Look at me." And I said, "Okay." And I'm looking him in the eyes and he said, "You know you belong here, right?" And I said, "I don't know." He said, "Listen to me, look at me."

• 47:29Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 47:30Speaker 01

  "You belong here. You're smart enough, you know that?" I didn't. I didn't. But it was fascinating to me how somebody I could respect, who I respected, who had the credentials, could change my life so quickly.

• 47:50Lewis Howes?

  Really? You didn't think you belonged in school or in life?

• 47:53Speaker 01

  I didn't think I belonged. I didn't think I was smart. I had convinced myself that I was a dummy. And I had others around me. If you don't know what you're gonna fill that blank in, others will fill it in for you. When I got my transcripts, I thought I was a C or D student in high school. I remember somebody said, "You should try, go to Yale. You're living here, why don't go to Yale?" And I'm like, "I could never get into Yale." I get my transcripts back, I'm a straight A student. I'm a really good student. I was shocked by that. I was shocked by that. I didn't feel I was capable of doing those things because I had filled in and had others fill in the "I am" blank.

• 48:34Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 48:35Speaker 01

  And for to have just one person say, "You're good enough. You're worthy."

• 48:43Lewis Howes?

  We all need that.

• 48:44Speaker 01

  You're smart. You need it. And it can game change everything.

• 48:50Lewis Howes?

  Isn't it interesting that if the world says you're enough and you don't believe it, it doesn't matter? It can spark it in you, but you have to believe it yourself. But you could also be the only person in the world that says, "I'm enough." And that be enough.

• 49:05Speaker 01

  You know, and it was strange. The opposite is true as well.

• 49:09Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 49:10Speaker 01

  Go back to...

• 49:13Speaker 01

  I'm the, think of this, I'm the fourth greatest man in the world. There are no other men anywhere else, it's the universe. All the close to God. Right, I'm tied with the Pope, man. And yet. Can be destructive. It could be, it wasn't at that time. Because I had crashed with alcoholism and I knew who I was enough to be able to handle it. If that would have come out in my twenties, I would have been the evil scientist. You know what I mean? I would have been building bombs in my basement. Wow. So, you can, if your, if your head's on straight. Yeah.

• 49:55Speaker 01

  You can dismiss the glories, the fake glories of the world. And on the other side, I took my kids, my kids are gonna need so much therapy. I took my kids one vacation about six, seven years ago to Auschwitz. And I had them, they could pick anybody, but I want you to pick a hero that saved Jews or anybody from the concentration camp. And so everybody had to pick a righteous among the nation and read it. And then we went over and we discussed, what do they have in common?

• 50:38Speaker 01

  And then we went to Auschwitz and I stood just around the corner from the gates. Have you ever been there? No, crazy? It's a must. Yeah. It's a must, it's very clarifying. Wow. And I, I stood there with my, with my family and I said, "This is the time that we all decide who we are." "If the world should ever slide into trouble like we are now, you will not make it." The first time you think, "What do I do?", is when there's trouble. Because courage is a muscle.

• 51:23Speaker 01

  And this stuff doesn't happen quickly overnight.

• 51:27Speaker 01

  This stuff happens like it is now. Are you willing to say something and lose your job? Are you willing to stand up and be different just because that's who you are? Yeah. Or are you gonna kowtow? If you're not standing up, if you're quietly taking it now, and I'm not saying go march in the streets and, you know, you know, start a revolution. I'm just saying, I will not comply. In my own personal life, no. Yeah. You're not gonna make it. We meet this woman. I arranged to meet one of the righteous among the nations. She saved a hundred Jews. She was 16 years old. Wow. She saved a hundred Jews.

• 52:12Speaker 01

  16. We have this conversation and everybody starts to leave. And, and I said, Paulina, I, I feel such a burden. I see the world going into horrible. It doesn't mean we're gonna get there, but it's, it's repeating itself, the beginnings of it. It's crazy. It's crazy. And I said, I believe everyone has the tree of righteousness in them. That's who we are all built to be. But we lose our way and the tree withers and dies. How do I water the tree of righteousness? She looked at me like I was from a different planet.

• 52:56Speaker 01

  And she said, it's so strange. Here's this woman, saved a hundred Jews, risked her life, the Nazis, then couldn't tell anybody because she was on the wrong side of the iron curtain. So she couldn't, she could never tell anybody until the Soviet Union came down. Think of her life, okay? So she looks at me, I'm looking at her as a hero. And she shakes her head and almost dismisses it in a way of like, are you crazy? You think I'm a hero? And she said, you completely misunderstand. And I said, what? She said, the righteous didn't become righteous suddenly.

• 53:40Speaker 01

  We're always that way. She said, we just refuse to go over the cliff with the rest of humanity. Wow. That changes everything. That means you know what's right. You know, you get on Facebook or Twitter, you know what's right. You know what your mother would say. You know what I mean? You were raised better than that.

• 54:02Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 54:03Speaker 01

  Whatever it is you're doing, society is going off a cliff. There aren't, there's no truth, there's no facts. Everything's fair game. To win, play any way you want.

• 54:15Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 54:16Speaker 01

  Don't. The rest of humanity will go over the cliff. To be a hero in tomorrow's world, all you have to do is remain who you always have been. The best side of who you've always been. That's not that hard.

• 54:34Lewis Howes?

  Why is it so hard for so many people? And why are we going, you know, all over the place as a country and a society?

• 54:41Speaker 01

  They're afraid.

• 54:42Lewis Howes?

  And how do we start to heal?

• 54:45Speaker 01

  So, I'll give you one example. When I was at Fox, I didn't understand the things that were happening at first, okay? You know, in, in society. I didn't understand, without judgment here, let's try to listen to this without judgment. I didn't understand Barack Obama's upbringing of anti-colonialism. Now, I do now, for instance, Winston Churchill. Is he a good guy or a bad guy?

• 55:18Lewis Howes?

  Good guy.

• 55:19Speaker 01

  Really? If you've been in India, he's a monster. Okay? Gandhi.

• 55:24Lewis Howes?

  That's how you look at it, yeah.

• 55:25Speaker 01

  It depends on who he was. He was an oppressor in India. He was a liberator for Europe.

• 55:32Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 55:32Speaker 01

  Okay?

• 55:33Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 55:33Speaker 01

  Those two men do not match each other, okay? Gandhi, was he a racist?

• 55:41Speaker 01

  If you go to South Africa, He was. He was a bru- he was an ugly racist. His problem when he was in Africa was how dare you treat the Indians like these blacks. Wow. Okay?

• 55:57Speaker 01

  But who is he in India? Hero. We live in a world right now that forces you to choose. He's either a villain or a hero. No, they're both. Life is always about becoming. Are you getting better than you were the day before? What path are you on? We're all going to make mistakes, all of us. And some of them are going to be pretty bad, especially in retrospect and the the privilege of watching it 80 years in advance. So here we are looking at this and we don't know who we are.

• 56:38Speaker 01

  We're, most of us, uneducated on everything about our country, truly uneducated. The conservatives refuse to learn, and I shouldn't say refuse, are not interested in learning about the horrific things this country is, has done and is responsible for, okay? And that list is very long. Because when a conservative starts hearing that, all they hear is, "I hate America. America's worthless," okay? Because many of the people who point those things out do believe America's worthless.

• 57:21Speaker 01

  But that's because they've had to make that choice. Winston Churchill? Which one is he? America. Which one is he? Liberals, when they hear conservatives talk about the good things of America, what they hear is, "We never did anything bad."

• 57:40Speaker 01

  And so neither one of us are know what America is, neither one. Some are great, some are bad. My daughter went to college and she went to Fordham and she was gonna take history. And I was so happy. So I was like, oh, my gosh, we need great history professors, American history professors. And she just gets all quiet. Never forget, we're standing in my kitchen. And she just gets quiet and she kinda looks down and I'm like, wait, what? What is that? What is happening? And she said, I'm not gonna take American history, Dad. And I said, what? American history is great. And she said, you don't know it, Dad. It's bloody, it's awful. Wow.

• 58:25Speaker 01

  And she said, you have this Pollyanna look. And at the time, I kind of did. This is, I don't know, 2005 or 2006, something like that. And I kinda did, I knew some of the bad stuff, but I hadn't really studied it. And I said, so what are you gonna, what are you gonna take? She's, her problem with American history is too bloody. She said, I'm gonna take Ancient Rome and Greece. I'm like, oh, well, that's completely bloodless. Yeah. So I said to her, listen, I'm gonna take you at your word that I don't know American history. Here's what I'd like to offer. I want you to study the good things about America. And I promise you, I will study the bad things.

• 59:10Speaker 01

  Interesting. I now have a fairly large collection of the worst things in American history. I could take any college professor on. Wow. Who just focuses on the bad. And I can guarantee you, they're rookies compared to me. You know way more bad things. Right. Because that's where we get screwed up. We are only focused on the good and we refuse to look at the bad. And so our kids are shaped by us as parents. They go out into the world and they hear a bunch of people that are saying good things or bad things, depending on which, and they're confused, they don't know. And they're forced to pick.

• 59:56Speaker 01

  No, it's who are we going to be? Can we learn from the mistakes? Can we learn from the things when we did it right? Can we put it into context? Because if you can't put it into context, if you can't see that 320 million people, they'll create both the good and the bad. What's, what chance do you have of finding any kind of peace in your life? Yeah, just constant chaos pulling from both sides, yeah. But, but how you judge yourself? Who am I? Who am I? If this country is either all bad or all good, then what are you? When you make a mistake

• 1:00:39Speaker 01

  and you start doing things, you have a spell in your life. I don't know about you, but I've done stuff. I know you've, I know you stole from your father. Oh, yeah. So did I, so, but let's not talk about that. You could focus, that one thing could say, I'm a bad person. All the time. All the time. Because I did this thing. And you'd never forgive it. Yeah. That's what we're doing to ourselves, our country, the West. We are not willing to forgive its mistakes and see it in context and validate that happened. Let's learn from it. Let's not round the, let's not round people up again. Let's not do that. That is bad. Yeah. Okay? Let's not repeat that. Right.

• 1:01:24Speaker 01

  What led to that? Let's learn that. So when we see that sprout, we immediately go, remember? Don't do that again. And you pluck that before it can grow. If you can't do that with the country, you have no chance of doing that with yourself. And that goes- And vice versa. Right, right. You can't do it with yourself. You can't do it to the country. Right. So it's both, yeah, yeah. So that leads you to certitude. I am certain this country is good. I am certain this country is bad. And if you disagree with me, you are no different.

• 1:02:07Speaker 01

  What chance do we have?

• 1:02:08Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, if you're questioning my beliefs and my certitude, then you're bad or you're wrong.

• 1:02:12Speaker 01

  Right. And we're now at a society that you must comply 100% on both sides. If you're not on the Trump train, God help you. If you're not on the anti-Trump train, God help you. And it's gotta be everything. No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. There's some things that that person does that I like.

• 1:02:35Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:35Speaker 01

  And things that I don't like. Things that I think are really bad. But what about that?

• 1:02:44Speaker 01

  You know what I mean?

• 1:02:45Lewis Howes?

  What's the spiritual prescription you would give from a recovering addict to the country and humanity? Since you can't prescribe medicine, what would be the philosophical, meditative, spiritual steps you would give on how to heal?

• 1:03:10Speaker 01

  I am just beginning to learn. I am excited about discoveries that take me into new directions. I am fascinated by the complexity of man and our history. Fill that blank in with everything that you can that brings you to humility. There is nothing I wish I could give for 24 hours. I wish I could give everyone the experience of being the fourth most admired man in the world.

• 1:03:52Lewis Howes?

  And that feeling?

• 1:03:53Speaker 01

  And 50% of the country

• 1:03:57Lewis Howes?

  Hating you.

• 1:03:57Speaker 01

  Hates you. There's nothing that will, if you're an introspective person at all, if you're a human, that affects you and it drives you to your knees and you're like, I don't know.

• 1:04:13Speaker 01

  Because there's 170 million people that think I'm a monster. Now, I know I'm not on that list.

• 1:04:20Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 1:04:22Speaker 01

  But what have I done? Most people aren't willing, they'll say, and I did for a while. That's just these people, they're twisting my words. No, no, no, they did do that.

• 1:04:32Lewis Howes?

  Hmm.

• 1:04:33Speaker 01

  But I also played a role.

• 1:04:35Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Taking responsibility and ownership and everything, yeah.

• 1:04:39Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:04:41Lewis Howes?

  So what can we learn from this book?

• 1:04:43Speaker 01

  None of that crap that I just told you.

• 1:04:47Speaker 01

  This comes from really me saying, I don't know the country. I don't have any, anything to offer. Have I wasted my life? Going back and say, okay. Let me learn what people are actually saying. What are they really afraid of? Is there a group of people, and there is, this is a small group. Is there a group of people that want to destroy us? That want to take the Bill of Rights in the Constitution and say it's outdated and it's horrible and we need to not exist anymore? Yeah, there are, there are. But it's not 50%.

• 1:05:31Speaker 01

  It's, it's, I don't even think it's 30%, quite honestly, 15%. It's just they're powerful voices because we're being used and manipulated on both sides. Fear is powerful. And this, this outrage, some of it is, there's outrage on both sides that justify, is justified. But what was it, just a couple of days ago? Reading Twitter is like crazy. The argument of whether Bert and Ernie are gay was.

• 1:06:04Lewis Howes?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 1:06:05Speaker 01

  You know they're felt puppets, right? I mean, their eyes have been glued on. If they have genitals, they're felt too, you know? And the people that were truly outraged on both sides. What is that gonna do? If you read what Frank Oz said. I designed them. I know who they are. Now, listen to this. As you're reading about the outrage about Bert and Ernie, he says, "I designed them to teach kids a lesson." Now, think of Bert and Ernie. One is orange, one is yellow, one is short, one is tall.

• 1:06:46Speaker 01

  One is laughing all the time, and the other one is dead serious and grumpy. Yeah. Everything about them is different. What is the point of Bert and Ernie? Not sexuality. Right. That we can be completely different, still be friends, and live with one another. We've completely missed that, proven by the argument that's going on. And we are going to kill each other if we don't stop. We have to stop and start looking at the bigger picture. People came over here for a reason. They came to the United States for a reason. What was the reason?

• 1:07:26Speaker 01

  To start a new life, to create, to get away from war, to get away from conflict, to have a better life. What's the Statue of Liberty? What's the poem? Freedom, right? Hmm. No? What's the poem? You know the Emma Lazarus poem? What's it? Where, see if you can look it up for a second. It's so, it's so frickin' fantastic, and nobody, we've all misread it. We've all misread it. So, the Statue of Liberty is built. Have you ever thought, what a stupid gift the Statue of Liberty is? It's from the French, or where's it from? French, French, okay? First of all, the French don't give gifts like that. They don't like anybody. Right. So, why are they giving us this giant statue? Yeah. And that's a pretty ballsy gift. Very ballsy.

• 1:08:10Speaker 01

  You know, you're like, they gotta put it up. You know, you can't give somebody a giant statue and then that country not put it up, because the French are gonna come over and they're like, "Hey, what happened to the statue we gave you?" It's like, "Oh, I lost it." You know, you gotta put that damn thing up. The French give it to us, and they give it to us in boxes. And literally, they just dump it on our docks. The Statue of Liberty is in broken pieces, or in separate pieces, in the park for a long time, alright? We don't know anybody, we don't know how to put this damn thing together. And they were like, "Oh, and by the way, battery's not included, neither is the bass." Figured, oh wow. So that big stone bass. Yeah. We didn't know anyone who could put it together.

• 1:08:54Speaker 01

  So it turns out, the guy we hired is a guy that is the first guy to protect Abraham Lincoln. He's a guy who is this hero, in my eyes. A villain at the time, a hero, because he will not demonize the people of the North and the South. He fights for the North, but he says, "They're Americans too." And he won't get into that hatred, okay? Long story short, they try him without his testimony. He's not even allowed to show up. They try him in Congress, okay? They throw him in prison. But they couldn't come to a verdict. He was never given charges.

• 1:09:38Speaker 01

  So he sits in prison until Abraham Lincoln finds out about it. It's like, "Release the guy." They wait two more months, and Lincoln says, "Is he out yet?" "Well, no." "Release him." So he's released, but he can't find a job anywhere. He goes over to Egypt. The French are there. So he's helping the French with all their stuff, so he can speak French. He's learning their mindset and everything else. Wow. He comes back to America years later. We've got the Statue of Liberty in pieces. The government actually knocks on his door and says, "You were just working with the French, right? I mean, can you read instructions in French?" And he's like, "Yeah." "Why?"

• 1:10:22Speaker 01

  This is the guy who builds the Statue of Liberty. This guy who was betrayed by his nation, wrongly betrayed by his nation.

• 1:10:33Speaker 01

  There's no love really for the nation. It's the love for the idea of the nation, okay? So the French build this, not for us. They build it because they're trying to convince the French not to go down the road of Marx, okay? The Spring of Nations is happening about 1850 or so. We have a civil war at the same time. All kinds of problems in England. The Marxists, because of the printing of the manifesto. They stir everything up. They try to flip all of Europe. It goes horribly. Then it starts again, and it starts in the Paris Communes, and it starts to really heat up.

• 1:11:17Speaker 01

  The same time this is happening, the Washington Crosses the Delaware painting is made. Try this one on precise. This is in the book. I love this story. I'm standing in the Met with my kids, and I'm taking them to show them art. And so I come around the corner. I've been there a hundred times. And I'm coming around the corner, and there's supposed to be Washington Cross in the Delaware. And I said to the security guard, "Have they moved Washington Cross in the Delaware?" And he said, "Yeah, it's in the warehouse." And I said, "Really? It's in the warehouse?" And he said, "Yeah, well, you know, it's not the original anyway." "Wait, what? It's not the original? What do you mean it's not the original? Did you know that? There are three copies." Wow.

• 1:12:02Speaker 01

  Two of them, two of them still exist. The original was destroyed in the Allied bombing of Berlin. Wow. What the hell is that painting doing in a museum in Germany under Nazi rule? Wow. How did that happen? It wasn't painted for us. We asked for a copy. It was painted by a guy who had lived in America but was German. He had come to America, lived for a while, came back. Marx starts in. They start to talk about socialism and everything else. And he's like, "No, no, no, no, no. You got it all wrong." Go back and look at the picture of Washington crossing the Delaware.

• 1:12:46Speaker 01

  There's African American, there's Native American, there's white, there's a farmer, there's a woodsman, there's a woman in the boat. Did you know that? There's a woman in the boat. What this painter was saying to Germans, no. Look at the American experiment. Wow. If everyone, no matter who they are, gets into the same boat, going in the same direction, miracles happen. Wow. That's the story of the Statue of Liberty. Wow. That's what France was doing. Hmm. Okay? And it gave them a chance to, yeah, they gave it, it gave them a chance to talk about

• 1:13:30Speaker 01

  this American system that they were trying to do. So it comes, Emma Lazarus is asked to write a poem. It's called "The New Colossus." Have you ever heard of the Colossus of Rhodes? No. Okay. Colossus of Rhodes, one of the wonders of the world and ancient world. It's this giant statue, okay? And it's in the harbor and it's so amazing. You have to look this picture up. One foot is on one little island kind of area and the other foot is on the other island. And it's standing up and it's wearing a skirt. It's a, it's a guy, a warrior, and he's wearing a skirt and it's enormous. And he's standing like this and he has, I think he has a spear or a sword, I can't

• 1:14:15Speaker 01

  remember. And it was a message. When you went to come there on a boat, you actually, your boat went in between his legs. Yeah. Okay? I don't know what you saw when he looked up, but you went underneath him in between his legs. And it was a message. Don't screw with us. Wow. Okay? One of the wonders of the world. So now, listen to this poem. Yeah. Listen to this poem. When you think of, you know, the poor huddled masses, what do you think? You know that, you know, "Bring me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, yearning to breathe free." What does that message say to you? Your sad people. Right, okay. Depressed sad people. Right, okay. We're a hospital. We're a refugee camp. Yeah.

• 1:15:00Speaker 01

  Okay? Listen to the poem. "Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame, With conquering limbs astride from land to land. Here, at our sea-washed sunset gates, Shall stand a mighty woman with a torch, Whose flame is the imprisoned lightning. And her name, Mother of Exiles." Okay, all ready? Completely different. Here's a mom, here's a woman. Mm-hmm. Okay? And she's standing at our gates, where you've got a warrior. "From her beacon-hand glows worldwide welcome.

• 1:15:44Speaker 01

  Her mild eyes command the air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame. Keep your ancient lands and your storied pomp, cries she." Think of this. "Keep your pomp and keep all your kings and your princes and your castles and your titles. Keep all that crap, we don't want any of it. Keep your ancient lands, your storied pomp, cries she with silent lips. Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, Yearning to breathe free. The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, the tempest-tossed, to me." Wow.

• 1:16:29Speaker 01

  "I lift my lamp beside the golden door."

• 1:16:35Speaker 01

  This Statue of Liberty is saying, "You keep telling people they can't. You keep telling people they have to be a title, a lord or a lady. You keep telling people who are living in some serfdom role that you could go ahead and create that, but you don't even have a copyright or a trademark or a patent. You go ahead and create that, but the lord of the manor, he's gonna take that and he has the money, he's gonna do it." And Europe kept saying, "You can't do it. You cannot change your station." She's saying, "Send the people you say are the worst.

• 1:17:20Speaker 01

  I'm going to protect them from people like you. I'm gonna give them freedom. You watch what they build."

• 1:17:29Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 1:17:30Speaker 01

  That's great.

• 1:17:32Lewis Howes?

  Crazy.

• 1:17:33Speaker 01

  That's the story of America. That's what we have to remember.

• 1:17:37Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:38Speaker 01

  All of the problem, all the circumstance, let them keep it. Recognize our problems. Most people don't know, they've never seen the feet of the Statue of Liberty. There's chains and a shackle around her foot. They're broken. Because through our laws, through a hard-fought war, we freed slaves.

• 1:18:00Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 1:18:00Speaker 01

  We conquered it. We freed people.

• 1:18:06Speaker 01

  We're flaws, warts and all. But if we just stick together and realize, "I'm no better than you. I have no more rights than you do." Go, create, dream, build.

• 1:18:22Lewis Howes?

  Wow. I'm inspired. It's amazing, man. And I'm sure you'll learn more, many more things in this book as well. You guys can get the book right now. It's called Addicted to Outrage. Check it out, how thinking like a recovering addict can heal the country. I've got two final questions for you. And they can get this on your website, Barnes & Noble, Amazon, everywhere. This question's called the Three Truths. So I'd love for you to imagine it's your last day and you get to choose your last day many years from now. You live as long as you want. You achieve everything you want. All your dreams, they come true.

• 1:19:00Lewis Howes?

  But for whatever reason, all the work that you've put out in the world, you have to take it with you. So no one has access to your books, your audio, nothing.

• 1:19:08Speaker 01

  My children? Do I leave my children?

• 1:19:10Lewis Howes?

  Your children here, yes, yes. But your written word, your videos, your audio, there's no, it's all gone with you.

• 1:19:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:19:18Lewis Howes?

  But you get to leave behind a message of your three truths. The three things you know to be true from all of your experiences in life that you would leave behind to everyone else to remember. These could be your three lessons or three truths. What would you say are your three truths?

• 1:19:35Speaker 01

  Well, I'd have to have four, and I would say that they are Mary, Hannah, Rafe, and Cheyenne. I have learned recently that

• 1:19:47Speaker 01

  everything I've done is worthless and meaningless and is going to be gone. You know, the world doesn't stop when you die. It doesn't even blink when you die.

• 1:20:01Speaker 01

  What difference did you make? Only in your kids. The things I want my kids to testify to through their life, how they're living their life, is

• 1:20:16Speaker 01

  each of us have the unlimited creative power of God Himself in us. And you can use it for good or bad, choose wisely. Truth number one.

• 1:20:32Speaker 01

  Truth number two.

• 1:20:36Speaker 01

  The world will lie to you

• 1:20:40Speaker 01

  and tell you life is easier than it is. Yeah, let me explain that.

• 1:20:50Speaker 01

  Anything of value in my life?

• 1:20:53Speaker 01

  I earned it, you know, the hard way. And I don't mean work, by failing over and over again. And it seems that everyone will want to take all of your struggles away. If you're poor or disadvantaged, the world will try to tell you, you'll never make it. If you're wealthy, beautiful, successful, they will tell you, nothing matters. Don't worry, you're great. Both of them are lies. You have to work for it. And it's worth it. And I think that that would be the third truth is,

• 1:21:38Speaker 01

  life is worth it. It is worth it. I've struggled with suicide myself, my mother, my brother. The moment, it was Christmas Eve, the 90s. I'm totally broken. I do not know how to make it. I'm all by myself. I cannot afford a gift, even at CVS. My daughter, all she wanted was this little Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer thing, and I couldn't afford it. And I'm a worthless human being in my eyes, you know? I'm a horrible father. I'm over.

• 1:22:23Speaker 01

  And I'm feeling horrible for myself, and I'm laying on the carpet in my living room. I know at that moment, it's live or die. It's continue down this road, and you will die, most likely at your own hand, or you gotta get up right now and just move. And I made that choice that night, and I wish I could say, and the next morning, the sun came up. That's bull crap. It was five to eight years after that of just, Consistent work. Just do it, just do it, just endure.

• 1:23:06Speaker 01

  But I can tell you, I've seen the darkest of life. Oh, my gosh.

• 1:23:13Speaker 01

  It's so warm on the other side. It's so worth it. Every second is worth it.

• 1:23:18Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, wow. Before I ask the final question, I want to acknowledge you for a moment Glenn, for your warmth, because when we first met, I just felt like you had such a big heart. And I remember people coming to me and saying, "You're going on Glenn Beck? Why are you going on Glenn Beck's show?" I'd just been on Ellen the day before, and someone said to me, "I doubt there's any other guest that had been on Glenn Beck and Ellen DeGeneres's show in 24 hours."

• 1:23:42Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:23:43Lewis Howes?

  And so I wasn't really sure what to expect, but connecting with you, you were so welcoming, you had such a great heart, and I really appreciate and acknowledge your curiosity, your generosity, and your constant willingness to learn and grow and improve and impact others. So I acknowledge you for all that you're doing.

• 1:24:03Speaker 01

  Thank you. May I say very much the same thing to you?

• 1:24:07Lewis Howes?

  Thank you.

• 1:24:08Speaker 01

  You know, just here, you greeted me at the door with a hug and a smile and kindness, and you were like that when you were at my studio. And in listening to you, you're doing the things I wish, I wish I could have done when I was your age. You're putting so much good and truth out.

• 1:24:32Lewis Howes?

  Thank you.

• 1:24:32Speaker 01

  I'm a fan.

• 1:24:33Lewis Howes?

  I appreciate it. Doing my best.

• 1:24:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24:35Lewis Howes?

  Make sure you guys get the book. Check it out, whatever linked up on the show notes. And the final question is, what's your definition of greatness?

• 1:24:42Speaker 01

  I saw somebody recently, and I don't want to make this about politics, so I won't describe the scene or what they said, but somebody stood up in front of a cloud, a crowd, and got an outrageous, long-standing ovation for saying something to a crowd that embraced this person already. And they said something that, that could have been written by that crowd. And people said, "They're so brave."

• 1:25:13Speaker 01

  A great person, a great man, a great woman.

• 1:25:19Speaker 01

  Is one that has the courage to speak the truth to their own friends and tribe. It doesn't take a lot of courage to say the popular things to the people who love you.

• 1:25:35Lewis Howes?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:25:36Speaker 01

  My son was probably 10, he was taking karate, taekwondo, he corrects me. And he didn't realize that when he was going to get his first belt, there were going to be parents there, there were going to be crowd. Here's my son who's grown up around me, he's terrified of crowds, okay?

• 1:25:56Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 1:25:57Speaker 01

  Probably for a good reason.

• 1:25:58Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:58Speaker 01

  He's terrified of crowds at this time. And we start walking in and he sees people, he's like, I'm not doing this, Dad, I can't do this, I can't do this. And it was the first time I saw my son like that. And I said, "Son, it's no big deal, it's no big deal, it's just parents." He's like, "I can't do this." I said, "Okay, let's get in the car." So we get in the car, we're driving back, and I'm thinking, "How am I gonna teach him this?"

• 1:26:24Speaker 01

  He said, "Are you mad?" I said, "No, I'm not, I'm not. I'm just trying to figure out how I can help you." Get back to the house, I take him into my office, and in my office I have, you have to come to my house sometimes.

• 1:26:37Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, well, too.

• 1:26:38Speaker 01

  All over my walls in the office, it's kind of, it's layered, the pictures and the things are all just layered on top of each other, okay? And they're all people from history and moments and, you know, anywhere from one of the guys who was the guy in Vietnam that was in the Hanoi Hilton who blinked his eyes to say, I've got the stuff he wrote all framed in there, next to Winston Churchill, next to Gandhi and Rosa Parks and all of them. And I sat there and I'm trying to think, what do I say to my son? And I look up at all these people and I said,

• 1:27:20Speaker 01

  Why do I have all of these pictures and all of these items from history on my walls in my office? And he said, "'Cause they're all heroes." And I said, "Yeah, they are, but that's not why I have them."

• 1:27:39Speaker 01

  And he said, "Because they weren't afraid." And I said, "Oh, son."

• 1:27:48Speaker 01

  And I started with Wallenberg, Raoul Wallenberg, who is one of the greatest heroes in history. And I said, "I'm guessing he was terrified." "I'm guessing," and I know enough because I've read his own words, "I know that Winston Churchill was terrified. I know that George Washington was terrified. I know the guy who was having his arms pulled out of his sockets in a Vietnamese prison camp was terrified."

• 1:28:20Speaker 01

  But they did it. They did it.

• 1:28:25Speaker 01

  That's a great man. That's a great man.

• 1:28:28Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Well, thank you.

• 1:28:31Speaker 01

  Thank you, brother. Thank you.

• 1:28:35Lewis Howes?

  There you have it, my friends. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you did, make sure to share it with your friends right now. Shoot them a text with this link on the podcast. Take a screenshot of your phone listening to this and post it on your Instagram story, lewishouse.com/698. You can send people to or directly to the link on Spotify or iTunes or SoundCloud, wherever you are listening to this episode. I was blown away by the vulnerability, the presence, the mindfulness, and the forward-thinking that Glenn has. So I hope you guys enjoy this one. And again, make sure to share with your friends. Check out his new book, Addicted to Outrage. And you can get the book anywhere books are sold. You can also check it out on the show notes,

• 1:29:18Lewis Howes?

  lewishouse.com/698. And tag Glenn over on Twitter as well. Let him know that you're listening to this and share with him the most powerful part about this episode that you enjoyed. Yes. Also, Albert Einstein, what did he say? He said, "The only source of knowledge is experience." Are you living your life with multiple experiences every single day in a week? To expand your horizons, to expand your perspective? Or are you staying stuck in a one-track mind? A one-belief system? If so, you're limiting yourself to experience and knowledge. So continue to grow, continue to try new things,

• 1:30:02Lewis Howes?

  continue to have open conversations with people that you don't agree with, and try to see things from a different perspective. That's the only source of knowledge is through experience. I love you guys so very much. We've got some big episodes coming soon. We're almost at episode 700. Unbelievable, we're at 700 episodes coming next week, guys. This is crazy. I've been so appreciative of all your support. We're growing stronger and stronger as a community together. The Great Miss community is one of the most powerful communities that I know. The most passionate people that are constantly elevating to improve their lives. So thank you guys so much. I love you so very much. And you know what time it is? It's time to go out there and do something great.