Embrace Your Weirdness | Forgive Them Because They Don't Know

Embrace who you really are. Embrace what makes you unique. Embrace your weirdness. Because chances are it’s special.🎙️ Listen to Rainn Wilson’s interview on The Daily Stoic or watch it on YouTube📓 Grab your own leather bound signed edition of The Daily Stoic! Check it out at the Daily Stoic Store: https://store.dailystoic.com/🎟 Ryan Holiday is going on tour! Grab tickets at ryanholiday.net/tour✉️ Want Stoic wisdom delivered to your inbox daily? Sign up for the FREE Daily Stoic email at https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail🏛 Get Stoic inspired books, medallions, and prints to remember these lessons at the Daily Stoic Store: https://store.dailystoic.com/📱 Follow us: Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, and FacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. 📢 Share | ⚙️ Manage Subscription

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:03Ryan Holiday?

  Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast. On Friday, we do double duty, not just reading our daily meditation, but also reading a passage from The Daily Stoic, my book, 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living, which I wrote with my wonderful collaborator, translator, and literary agent, Stephen Hanselman. So today, we'll give you a quick meditation from the Stoics with some analysis from me, and then we'll send you out into the world to turn these words into works.

• 0:44Ryan Holiday?

  Embrace your weirdness. The Stoics knew that each of us was born inherently unique. Well before an understanding of the science of DNA, they implicitly grasped that never before, never again, will our combinations of genetics exist, that we are singular, and that one of the worst things a human being can do with this rarest of rarities is to give it up, to not be our singular selves. The great Rainn Wilson was on the Daily Stoic Podcast recently, and he told this story of a painful period in which he tried to be someone he wasn't. In 1995, Rainn got cast in his first Broadway play. In his head, he had this preconceived notion of a Broadway actor, very professional, very serious, very matter of fact. Rainn tried to be that person, as he explains on the podcast.

• 1:29Speaker 01

  And guess what? I sucked. The pressure, the tension, the perfectionism just kind of rendered me really tense and not pleasant. And I just was really stuck in my head and lost. And I suffered so much. There's nothing worse than doing a play that you know you suck in, because you have to do it for four or five months, and you're doing eight shows a week. You show up, and you're like, fuck, I'm gonna suck again. Damn it. When I finished the play, I said, never again. Never again am I going to do that. I'm going to find my authentic voice as an actor. I'm quirky. I'm kind of weird. I'm going to embrace

• 2:14Speaker 01

  that. I'm not going to be try, try to be something to please someone else. That's a stoic thing too, right?

• 2:20Ryan Holiday?

  Yeah.

• 2:20Speaker 01

  So I'm not going to jump through all these hoops to try and please other people, but I gotta be me, baby. And I fired my agents and I really just changed how I was as an actor at that point.

• 2:34Ryan Holiday?

  Not long after he made that decision to embrace being himself, Rain landed not only the biggest role of his career, but what would prove to be one of the most iconic characters in the history of television, Dwight in The Office.

• 2:47Speaker 01

  The point is, is that I never would have gotten Dwight in The Office had I not gone through that suffering on that play on Broadway. Because finding Dwight was embracing my nerdy weirdness. And if I hadn't totally embraced that, I never would have gotten the role of Dwight.

• 3:08Ryan Holiday?

  Be you. Be the only one of you in the whole world. That's where the fun is. You don't have to fake anything. That's where the value is. When we are like everyone else, we are replaceable by definition. Embrace who you really are. Embrace what makes you unique. Embrace your weirdness because chances are it's special.

• 3:34Ryan Holiday?

  Hey, it's Ryan. This is the July 19th entry in the Daily Stoic.

• 3:39Speaker 01

  366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living.

• 3:44Ryan Holiday?

  Forgive them because they don't know. This is Marcus Aurelius's Meditations 7:6. He says, "As Plato said, 'Every soul is deprived of truth against its will. The same holds true for justice, self-control, goodwill to others, and every similar virtue. It's essential to constantly keep this in your mind, for it will make you more gentle to all." And I tell a biblical story here. I think it's interesting to think that, you know, Seneca and Jesus are born roughly the same time, both live in the same empire. Both come from provinces of the Roman Empire. Both were enormously popular philosophers in their own life, and both are ultimately put to death. You can read Tacitus and hear of the death of Jesus, and you can also read Tacitus and hear of the death of Seneca.

• 4:28Ryan Holiday?

  As he wound his way up the Via de la Rosa on the top of Calvary Hill, Jesus, or Christus, as he would have been known to Seneca and other Roman contemporaries, he had suffered immensely. He'd been beaten and flogged and stabbed, forced to bear his own cross, and was set to be crucified on it next to two common criminals. There, he watched the soldiers roll dice to see who would get to keep his clothes, listened as the people sneered and taunted him. Whatever your religious inclinations, the words that Jesus spoke next, considering they came as he was subjected to unimaginable human suffering, send chills down your spine. Jesus looked upward and said, "Simply, Father, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."

• 5:11Ryan Holiday?

  This is the same truth that Plato spoke centuries earlier, that Marcus spoke almost two centuries after Jesus. Other Christians must have spoken this truth as they were cruelly executed by the Romans under Marcus's reign. Forgive them, they are deprived of truth. They wouldn't do this if they weren't. Use this knowledge to be gentle and gracious. I think that's something that Marcus realizes. He goes, "Hey, not everyone has the privilege and wealth and power that I have, but also they haven't been availed of Stoic philosophy." I mean, let's go to the opening passage in Book Two of Meditations, right? The famous one that's supposedly Marcus writing people off for being annoying and obnoxious and awful, right? What does Marcus say? He lists all the frustrating things they're gonna do.

• 5:56Ryan Holiday?

  And he says, "Why are they like this? They are like this because they can't tell good from evil." It says, "But I have seen the beauty of good and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own, not of the same blood or birth, but of the same mind, possessing a share of the divine, so none of them can hurt me." It says, "No one can implicate me in ugliness." Nor can I feel angry at my relative or hate him. We were born to work together like feet and hands and eyes, like two rows of teeth, upper and lower. To obstruct each other is unnatural, to feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him, these are obstructions. He's saying forgive them. He's saying, understand them. He even talks about forgiveness in meditations where he says, like, remember when you have acted like that. And then, of

• 6:41Ryan Holiday?

  course, there is a whole chapter in part three of the new book, Right Thing Right Now, which I hope you have read. It just came out, so maybe you're not to part three, you'll get to it, but I'll give you a little teaser. On page 275, I tell a story about forgiveness, because it's such an important biblical concept, and an important Stoic concept, and an important virtuous concept. I tell the story of James Lawson, who meets and tries to forgive Martin Luther King Jr.'s assassin, James Earl Ray. And he gets asked by Ray to minister to him. He asks him eventually to officiate his wedding. And Lawson is asking

• 7:23Ryan Holiday?

  his family at dinner if he should do this. And as I write, it says, "It was a short conversation. Almost before he could finish, Lawson's 17-year-old son was answering." "Well," his son said, not even needing to look up from his food, "if you believe all this stuff you've been preaching all these years, he'll do it." And I say, "It's important to note that Jesus didn't just preach forgiveness on that one occasion on the cross. Before his death, he was asked about forgiveness by Peter. Knowing that forgiveness was important, Peter asked just how many times he should forgive his brother. Was it one time for one mistake? Should he forgive him seven times?" "I do not say to you up to seven times," Jesus replied, "but up to 77 times." And in fact, according to some translations,

• 8:06Ryan Holiday?

  Jesus actually said 70 times 7. But even this understates it, because the whole basis of Christianity is that because God has forgiven each person totally and completely, A Christian must in turn do the same. And then I say, whatever your spirituality, the same bargain stands. Someone kind, someone generous, someone we didn't even know has forgiven us at least once. In fact, life has given you countless second chances, chance after chance after chance. Justice would have cut you off a long time ago, but here you are. We carry that debt now, and so we must forgive others. Better yet, we have the power to enrich ourselves in the world by actively investing this forgiveness wherever possible, wherever we have the opportunity to provide grace to someone who has trespassed against us. I go on, there's another great story of Marcus and forgiveness.

• 8:51Ryan Holiday?

  The point is, let's practice a little forgiveness today. Let's give some grace, not expect it, but give it. That's today's lesson. I hope all of you are well by the time you are listening to this on my way to Australia, where I am doing those two talks. So if you want to see me in Sydney or Melbourne, you can grab tickets at ryanholiday.net/tour. And then I'm also doing some talks in Vancouver and Toronto, Dublin, London, Rotterdam, a bunch of dates at ryanholiday.net/tour. I hope to see you all there. But I am heading to Australia first, which I'm very excited about. And if I don't see you there, I forgive you, but not really. Just kidding. Talk soon.