Ep 618 - Officer Lemaire (feat. Charles Blyzniuk & Lemaire Lee)

Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Lemeez Nate and Andy @ https://www.patreon.com/pitm Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/ Go See Shawn Gardini Live if you want @ https://www.shawngardini.com/live Heyyyy. Sorry for the late ep. We had some crud goin on. Matt is in Fort Wayne as I type this. If you're in Fort Wayne go see him!!!!! He was dearly missed but Meez and Blizzy held it down in his absence. It was a hot one if I do say so myself. Have a great weekend everyone!! Please enjoy. God Bless. This video is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/MSSP Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/DRENCHED and use code DRENCHED and get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Wild, wild west.

• 0:02Speaker 01

  Luke.

• 0:02Speaker 00

  Well, I have Bellmar rules.

• 0:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, Luke, you sexy as hell.

• 0:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, he looks good.

• 0:06Speaker 02

  You're back on the Bellmar train?

• 0:08Speaker 00

  I am.

• 0:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 0:09Speaker 00

  He was, I think, I don't know, he went away.

• 0:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 0:12Speaker 00

  I haven't seen him.

• 0:12Speaker 01

  I know. I wonder what happened to him.

• 0:15Speaker 00

  He's back. He's got shaved head.

• 0:17Speaker 01

  Just went to study.

• 0:18Speaker 00

  Wearing a scarf, doing a fucking business.

• 0:20Speaker 02

  Yeah. He learned with the monks.

• 0:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 0:22Speaker 02

  He learned business with the monks.

• 0:23Speaker 01

  I think he did, yeah. He and Wemby.

• 0:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 0:26Speaker 01

  Went to China together.

• 0:27Speaker 02

  Buy, sell, buy.

• 0:29Speaker 01

  Yeah. He's like, you, you stick to basketball, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be the business, I'm business.

• 0:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 0:38Speaker 01

  The monks will teach me the ancient wisdom, yeah.

• 0:42Speaker 00

  This is how it talks. It's great. He's like, AI is gonna take all of your jobs. All of your jobs.

• 0:51Speaker 00

  And there's just people in a fucking convention center like, this is good stuff. This is good, I need this.

• 0:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 0:58Speaker 00

  Anyway, hello, welcome to the podcast. Matthew's not here. We tried to do yesterday, but I couldn't get out of bed after going to the NBA finals. I was a little tired. But kind of fucked it up for everybody, because now Matt's gone and now La Mer is.

• 1:16Speaker 00

  Now La Mer is filling in. La Mer just, he's fired up. He just walked into the kitchen and was like, have you heard about the Lego thing?

• 1:25Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, you mentioned this to me too.

• 1:27Speaker 00

  And then he turned off, I was watching a nice Humming. I was watching a nice Hummingbird documentary and he just turned it off, put on a Lego fucking YouTube video and then walked back outside.

• 1:37Speaker 02

  I was making, I was grilling sausages, I had to go check on my sausages.

• 1:42Speaker 01

  What's, okay.

• 1:43Speaker 00

  What are you so happy about?

• 1:46Speaker 02

  Having a good time.

• 1:46Speaker 00

  The fucking dopers are in a good mood today.

• 1:48Speaker 01

  That's great.

• 1:49Speaker 00

  Guard Dog's energy is, I've never seen him this happy.

• 1:54Speaker 03

  I feel good.

• 1:54Speaker 00

  What's going on? Why are you so happy?

• 1:56Speaker 03

  Just Zandini today, I don't know why.

• 1:59Speaker 02

  It's been a while.

• 2:00Speaker 03

  It has been a while.

• 2:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, I haven't seen this side of you in forever.

• 2:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, I haven't seen you guys in a while.

• 2:04Speaker 00

  I miss the old, I miss the old Guard Dog.

• 2:08Speaker 00

  This new grumpy Guard Dog.

• 2:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, well.

• 2:10Speaker 00

  But now he's in a good mood.

• 2:11Speaker 03

  Sometimes I do too, yeah.

• 2:12Speaker 00

  What do you think's gonna happen tonight? When you're riding high right now? I've seen how this usually goes.

• 2:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'll probably have a couple of whiskies and get mad about something.

• 2:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:22Speaker 03

  I won't let it ruin it.

• 2:23Speaker 00

  Who do you think you're gonna get mad of? What do you think's gonna?

• 2:26Speaker 03

  Whoever's around.

• 2:27Speaker 00

  Someone's gonna get the business.

• 2:30Speaker 03

  There's a good chance.

• 2:31Speaker 02

  They're gonna go, "You're a chud."

• 2:36Speaker 04

  I have noticed Cardi B's got better at like, right before the mean kicks in, leaving. He's been sensing it.

• 2:44Speaker 00

  Usually I've seen his lady, his lady's usually the one going, dragging him out.

• 2:49Speaker 00

  I see, it's so funny. Like, we were at the mothership the other night and I watched his, his girl goes first, he's always behind her like,

• 2:56Speaker 00

  "I have to leave."

• 3:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, someone's about to get punished.

• 3:04Speaker 01

  He can say, just a fist on the table. We should go.

• 3:09Speaker 02

  It's under the table.

• 3:11Speaker 00

  So Meezy, fill us in on the Legos.

• 3:13Speaker 02

  All right, there's this company called Bricks and Minifigs, and they are a Lego reseller. So they buy Legos from people and they resell them. And there's this guy, uh, him and his dad had a big collection of Legos and they had like a, a, a, a building, a store. And then the dad got sick, so to cover the cost, they like, had a deal with Bricks and Minifigs that made sure that they were retained owning the Legos, but Bricks and Minifigs would sell them and they'd just like take a portion of the sale, you know? So then the dad gets better and they're like, "All right, we want our bricks back." And then the company's like, "We actually don't have them."

• 3:53Speaker 02

  But they do have them, they're still on the shelves, they're like advertising them on their Instagram and stuff, and they're just lying and lying. So that guy calls a YouTube guy, and then the YouTube guy does a whole investigation, and that's when it gets nuts.

• 4:10Speaker 01

  So what gets knocked?

• 4:12Speaker 02

  This YouTube guy, he's just like trying to investigate. He's like, give back the bricks. And the guy's like, no. He's like, all right. And then he goes through all the legal loops. So he like makes a company that uh, he makes a company so that the legal company will sue him. So the company is like, uh, pretty much an exact copy of the company, but he's just trying to infringe on them so that they sue him. And they won't do it. And then, uh, he makes a lottery because, but he goes through all the loops so that's to make like a legal lottery. And then he, uh, sells the mini figs because he owns the figures. He owns the figures. So he sells the figures to the lottery. And the company doesn't give the figures away. So they're criminally in trouble now.

• 4:55Speaker 02

  But every time he goes to the cops, the cops are like, you gotta leave. You're the one causing the problem. He's like, legally, they're stealing from me and you guys aren't doing anything about it. And then it just, that happens for like a couple of months. And then he like tries to give up and he starts to go fund me for the guy. And then he gets arrested for doing the go fund me in Utah because they like, you're still like harassing these people and he's not doing anything. And it turns out everybody's Mormon.

• 5:25Speaker 02

  The Mormon thing is the crazy thing. It's like a Mormon, like, uh, all the cops are Mormon, all the owners of the company are Mormon. So there's like,

• 5:33Speaker 01

  This is deeper than Legos now.

• 5:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's deeper than Legos, bro. And this YouTube guy's figuring it all out like in real time. Like this is like three months old.

• 5:41Speaker 00

  What kind of mystery is that? It's in Utah. They're all Mormons.

• 5:44Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, it's, yeah, it's true.

• 5:49Speaker 00

  They're all Mormon.

• 5:50Speaker 02

  Yeah. I don't think, I think the, it's about the Mormon mafia that is more or less taking over Legos.

• 5:57Speaker 00

  They're taking over Legos?

• 5:58Speaker 02

  Taking over Lego reselling.

• 5:59Speaker 00

  The Mormon mafia is taking over Legos?

• 6:01Speaker 02

  Cause a lot of other people have tried to get their Legos back and it doesn't work with bricks and mini figs.

• 6:06Speaker 00

  Yo, my God.

• 6:07Speaker 01

  So that's, okay.

• 6:08Speaker 00

  So the Mormon mafia is taking over. He's just high in his room.

• 6:11Speaker 01

  The Mormon mafia.

• 6:12Speaker 00

  Mormon mafia is taking over Legos. Yo, my God. I gotta go inside and tell Shane.

• 6:20Speaker 00

  He goes, did you hear about the Lego thing?

• 6:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, I thought this, I thought it was truly like the Lego.

• 6:25Speaker 02

  Dude, it's crazy.

• 6:27Speaker 00

  What's crazy about it?

• 6:27Speaker 02

  You gotta watch the videos, man. He's getting arrested for nothing. Like it's crazy. He's doing everything legally right. And then the cops are like, hey, man, you're fucking with our guy. So you're wrong.

• 6:39Speaker 01

  He brings in a lot of Lego money for the.

• 6:41Speaker 02

  Well, he, yeah, yeah. Well, I think bricks and minifigs gives the cops some kickbacks.

• 6:48Speaker 00

  You think the Lego resellers are paying off the cops?

• 6:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, almost definitely from this video. Based on this video.

• 6:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, but why, why would they pay off the cops?

• 6:57Speaker 02

  Because they don't want people to get their Legos back. They want to keep the profit. I don't know, man. I don't know. It's crazy. It's like Pokemon cards with Legos, though.

• 7:06Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 7:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:09Speaker 00

  Are they valuable Legos?

• 7:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like, uh, his collection was worth $200,000. Yeah.

• 7:14Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 7:14Speaker 02

  It was like some Legos you could never get again.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  It's like the, just keep thinking of like the Lego model of like the Sean John headquarters.

• 7:25Speaker 01

  You can't get this one anymore.

• 7:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, you can't get the Diddy style Lego anymore.

• 7:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, did you get to see the Diddy video?

• 7:32Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:35Speaker 00

  That's a scary one.

• 7:36Speaker 02

  The video made me sad.

• 7:37Speaker 00

  It's a tough one to see, yeah.

• 7:38Speaker 01

  There's a new video?

• 7:39Speaker 00

  It's a video of a lady. The only thing I saw was she was giving a guy head and Diddy was kind of just creeping around. He's walking around in the back, stroking that shit daddy.

• 7:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm back here stroking my shit.

• 7:56Speaker 00

  I didn't see the sex.

• 7:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:58Speaker 00

  Was, he was getting after it?

• 7:59Speaker 02

  She was getting punished.

• 8:00Speaker 00

  It was the Punisher?

• 8:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, it wasn't the Punisher. It was somebody else, but she was getting punished.

• 8:04Speaker 01

  It was, it was the Punisher's understudy.

• 8:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:11Speaker 01

  I lost my voice. I can't punish.

• 8:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, there's, seeing him, yeah, his, his physique wasn't.

• 8:22Speaker 00

  It's tough. It's tough.

• 8:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:23Speaker 00

  The whole thing's tough.

• 8:25Speaker 02

  Man, it's.

• 8:25Speaker 00

  He's like hunched over, stroking the relatively tiny dong.

• 8:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:33Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 8:33Speaker 01

  Was that?

• 8:34Speaker 02

  I think he had sex with his mom.

• 8:36Speaker 00

  Do I think Puff had sex with his mom?

• 8:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, you watched, uh, did you watch the doc?

• 8:40Speaker 01

  No.

• 8:41Speaker 00

  I did. I don't remember thinking that, though.

• 8:43Speaker 02

  Cause like, uh, they were talking about how much he's time he spent with his mom and how she like groomed him for her stuff.

• 8:48Speaker 00

  Yeah. I don't know, maybe he got molested by somebody.

• 8:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:53Speaker 00

  It's usually what leads to cracking one off in a hotel, walking around.

• 8:58Speaker 01

  True.

• 8:59Speaker 00

  Naked, filming it with red lights.

• 9:01Speaker 02

  With the punisher.

• 9:01Speaker 00

  Usually something happens.

• 9:04Speaker 00

  When you got the punisher.

• 9:04Speaker 01

  It draws you to, it draws you to the red light bulbs.

• 9:07Speaker 00

  Straight to the red light bulbs. You have those.

• 9:09Speaker 02

  What?

• 9:10Speaker 00

  You love red light bulbs. You crack.

• 9:11Speaker 02

  What's the red light bulbs?

• 9:12Speaker 00

  He cracks them off like Diddy, dude. He walks around in that room with the red light bulbs.

• 9:18Speaker 04

  We're synced up days apart. Like, we were just talking about how freaky anybody who's doing red light bulbs were yesterday.

• 9:25Speaker 00

  Oh, really?

• 9:25Speaker 04

  Yeah. I didn't know La Mer was a red light.

• 9:27Speaker 00

  It's definitely true.

• 9:29Speaker 04

  Oh shit, you're a red light bulb guy?

• 9:31Speaker 02

  I just say Alexa, turn the sun red.

• 9:32Speaker 04

  Yo.

• 9:33Speaker 02

  It's so easy.

• 9:34Speaker 04

  Damn.

• 9:35Speaker 00

  What's going on? You can't even close the blind.

• 9:38Speaker 01

  Turn the sun red.

• 9:39Speaker 04

  Block out the sun.

• 9:41Speaker 01

  Turn the sun red.

• 9:42Speaker 04

  Block the sun out. I'm ready to crack one off.

• 9:47Speaker 01

  Turn the sun red. Turn the fucking.

• 9:49Speaker 00

  Jesus Christ, dude. Yeah. I think that's kind of a black thing, though. You guys love colored lights.

• 9:54Speaker 04

  I don't think so. Cause I always see it at high-rise apartments. That's where I see it the most. Like a freaky, like, high-rise purple or red.

• 10:00Speaker 01

  Freaky high-rise.

• 10:01Speaker 04

  Just a freaky, a freaky ass, cause you see that when I go, that's the freaky guy.

• 10:04Speaker 01

  Of course, yeah.

• 10:05Speaker 00

  It's a purple room.

• 10:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:07Speaker 01

  It's true.

• 10:08Speaker 00

  Nothing good's going on there. They're not, they're not playing cards.

• 10:12Speaker 04

  No.

• 10:12Speaker 00

  They're not putting together a puzzle. They're.

• 10:15Speaker 04

  They're getting nasty.

• 10:16Speaker 00

  Spit roasting a guy. Doing something evil in there.

• 10:21Speaker 04

  Wasn't that Diddy-o? Diddy or Diddy-o?

• 10:23Speaker 00

  The Diddy.

• 10:24Speaker 04

  Diddy video.

• 10:29Speaker 04

  Well, wasn't that like Freaky Red Light?

• 10:31Speaker 01

  The worst cereal.

• 10:32Speaker 04

  I'm really happy with Diddy.

• 10:33Speaker 00

  It was.

• 10:33Speaker 01

  DiddyOs.

• 10:35Speaker 04

  You gotta stop turning the camera.

• 10:36Speaker 00

  He kinda looks like Nate.

• 10:37Speaker 04

  Who?

• 10:38Speaker 00

  Naked Diddy.

• 10:44Speaker 04

  There's no way. I haven't seen the video yet.

• 10:45Speaker 00

  You'll look it up. You'll go, damn, that got me.

• 10:49Speaker 00

  Is that me?

• 10:52Speaker 00

  I'm sorry. If it's me, I'm sorry.

• 10:54Speaker 02

  Man, to be fair to Diddy though, like, if you catch me like standing jerking off, I'm gonna be hunched too.

• 11:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, of course. I'm gonna be hunched. I'm hunched no matter what.

• 11:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:03Speaker 00

  Somebody filmed me walking in LA and I got made fun of. I was in public.

• 11:10Speaker 02

  What the hell?

• 11:12Speaker 00

  And that was unfortunate because me and McKeever were both wearing red gym shorts for some reason. We were wearing like matching outfits, walking together. It's pretty embarrassing.

• 11:24Speaker 02

  You guys are gonna work out.

• 11:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:25Speaker 00

  No, we...

• 11:27Speaker 01

  Walking.

• 11:28Speaker 00

  We're not working. We're gonna get a... We both got our hair cut. We were in the same hotel and I came down. He was wearing red shorts. I was wearing... We were both like, oh man, we look dumb.

• 11:36Speaker 02

  You guys wear matching shorts.

• 11:38Speaker 00

  We're the exact same outfit.

• 11:39Speaker 02

  To get your haircut?

• 11:39Speaker 00

  Yes. And then we went to the same place and got our haircuts.

• 11:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:42Speaker 02

  That's kinda gay.

• 11:43Speaker 01

  White guys.

• 11:44Speaker 00

  Yeah. All it would have taken is different colored shorts and we would have been fine.

• 11:47Speaker 01

  Yeah. White guys, red gym shorts. Black guys, red light bulbs.

• 11:53Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 11:54Speaker 02

  Dude, white guys, white guys love...

• 11:56Speaker 01

  I'm sorry, I'm not...

• 11:57Speaker 04

  Red light bulb guys.

• 11:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, you are.

• 12:00Speaker 04

  Well, no, we're not. I've never want... Never want seen it in my life. Where to win?

• 12:05Speaker 00

  I'm saying 50% of the red light bulbs are represented by 13% of the population.

• 12:12Speaker 00

  You guys love red light bulbs.

• 12:14Speaker 02

  I've owned red light bulbs two separate times in my life.

• 12:17Speaker 04

  But...

• 12:17Speaker 00

  I rest my case. I've never.

• 12:18Speaker 04

  La Mer just does La Mer things. Like, it's like saying, every black dude's coming here putting on the Lego dot, like the Lego news. That's not... You can't use La Mer as the... I'm not saying, I'm not trying to discount your blackness. You're black as hell. I would never do that to you. I'm just saying La Mer is an outlier in a bunch of different...

• 12:34Speaker 00

  He is an outlier.

• 12:35Speaker 01

  True.

• 12:37Speaker 03

  And light bulbs and I think there's

• 12:39Speaker 01

  That's a good point.

• 12:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, like gamers.

• 12:41Speaker 03

  Black culture and anime.

• 12:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:43Speaker 04

  But then, but then you always got like the white gamer guys got like a light blue or a purple light bulb going on in there.

• 12:49Speaker 02

  Or the LED lights.

• 12:50Speaker 04

  Just like, or to get a color change.

• 12:51Speaker 00

  But I feel like the LED, so you're saying that's white culture?

• 12:54Speaker 02

  The strip.

• 12:54Speaker 00

  And you guys are appropriating.

• 12:57Speaker 04

  I do.

• 12:58Speaker 00

  So you're gonna give us one?

• 12:59Speaker 04

  I'm not gonna say no.

• 13:00Speaker 00

  Can we get one? Can we get LED lights?

• 13:01Speaker 04

  Appropriating it is not.

• 13:03Speaker 00

  And we got gamer chairs. Those are ours.

• 13:05Speaker 04

  Gamer chairs? No. Gamer chairs are definitely us.

• 13:09Speaker 01

  No.

• 13:10Speaker 00

  No way.

• 13:10Speaker 04

  I'm just claiming it. I don't even.

• 13:14Speaker 02

  Chairs are white guys. No, they're Asian.

• 13:16Speaker 00

  Asian.

• 13:17Speaker 02

  Gamer chairs are Asians.

• 13:18Speaker 00

  I wonder who was first, though.

• 13:19Speaker 04

  Koreans.

• 13:20Speaker 00

  It feels like the honkies.

• 13:21Speaker 04

  Feels like Koreans to me.

• 13:23Speaker 02

  I don't know, man. I do specifically.

• 13:24Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 13:25Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 13:26Speaker 02

  They might have made the chair, but the white guy innovated it. Not to sound like a knuckle tongue.

• 13:30Speaker 04

  Ah, think, think about how locked in. Think about how locked in.

• 13:34Speaker 00

  About the gamer chair.

• 13:37Speaker 04

  Brother Lee was on the devil's podcast.

• 13:40Speaker 01

  Oh, true. Oh, my God.

• 13:42Speaker 00

  He's gonna get you.

• 13:43Speaker 01

  He's watching.

• 13:44Speaker 00

  He's gonna be waiting in Philly. Run the fade.

• 13:49Speaker 01

  Tell me more about this Lego documentary, brother.

• 13:54Speaker 02

  Dude, I'm only on part two. I gotta get to part three. I'm waiting for part three. I think part three comes out tomorrow.

• 13:59Speaker 01

  Would you ever go to, have you been to Utah?

• 14:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, I went with Matt recently, actually. It was pretty nice.

• 14:04Speaker 00

  I like Utah.

• 14:05Speaker 02

  Utah's cool.

• 14:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:07Speaker 01

  Would you go back to investigate?

• 14:09Speaker 02

  No.

• 14:10Speaker 00

  You don't wanna get involved?

• 14:11Speaker 02

  No.

• 14:12Speaker 01

  You could help him out.

• 14:13Speaker 02

  No, dude, this guy was getting fucked. Like, they would shoot me.

• 14:18Speaker 02

  That's how fucked this guy was getting. Like, they would have shot me. Like, for real.

• 14:21Speaker 00

  Man, if you get killed by police brutality, then there's fucking Le Maire murals everywhere.

• 14:31Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Summer's a lot of fun, but it can be a lot. Summer's fun, but it can be a lot. Matt, or?

• 14:42Speaker 01

  It can be a lot.

• 14:45Speaker 00

  Lemar. Tell me, what's one thing this summer that you have a lot going on? What did you do? Did you enjoy being that busy? Or did you prefer a more relaxed itinerary?

• 14:57Speaker 02

  I enjoy the business a little bit, but I would like some more relaxed.

• 15:01Speaker 00

  You need to relax more. That's what I always say about you. People ask me, they say, what's it like living with Lemar? I say, God, I wish the guy would fucking relax.

• 15:12Speaker 02

  Too much of a busybody.

• 15:13Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:14Speaker 02

  I got so much going up here.

• 15:16Speaker 00

  You do.

• 15:16Speaker 01

  It's true. The police radio never turns off.

• 15:18Speaker 00

  True. We do have to get you a scanner.

• 15:22Speaker 01

  Oh, man. Actually, you would have fun with a scanner.

• 15:24Speaker 02

  Yeah?

• 15:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:25Speaker 00

  I think so.

• 15:26Speaker 01

  You'd go to Crimes in Progress.

• 15:30Speaker 02

  I would, dude.

• 15:32Speaker 00

  You'd be feared in the city. The criminals, the bad guys would go, oh, shit, it's Lemar.

• 15:38Speaker 02

  This is the leverage, he's coming.

• 15:39Speaker 00

  He's gonna get you. The leverage. You'd get low on him, fire out. So, if you're feeling overwhelmed, try BetterHelp. They're one of the biggest online therapy platforms and pretty highly rated, too. They can connect you with a professional therapist who can help you understand what you need to truly enjoy your summer. You don't have to say yes to everything this summer. Find support in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off betterhelp.com/MSSP. That's better H E L P dot com slash M S S P. Now, let's get back to the show.

• 16:11Speaker 05

  For adults with Crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis symptoms, every choice matters. Tremfya offers self-injection or intravenous infusion from the start. Tremfya is administered as injections under the skin or infusions through a vein every four weeks, followed by injections under the skin every four or eight weeks. If your doctor decides that you can self-inject Tremfya, proper training is required. Tremfya is a prescription medicine used to treat adults with moderately to severely active Crohn's disease and adults with moderately to severely active ulcerative colitis, serious allergic reactions, increased risk of infections or lower ability to fight them, and liver problems may occur. Before treatment, get checked for infections and tuberculosis.

• 16:55Speaker 05

  Tell your doctor if you have an infection, flu-like symptoms, or need a vaccine. Explore what's possible. Ask your doctor about Tremfya today. Call 1-800-526-7736 to learn more or visit tremfyaradio.com.

• 17:11Speaker 00

  Yo.

• 17:12Speaker 02

  Hey, everybody. It's me, La Mer. I'm gonna be in Charlottesville on June 25th.

• 17:16Speaker 00

  Uh oh.

• 17:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:18Speaker 00

  Wait a minute.

• 17:20Speaker 02

  Bringing my torches, bring yours.

• 17:22Speaker 00

  Bring my, I'll be in Ferguson, Missouri. I'll be in Charlottesville. Where else are you going?

• 17:26Speaker 02

  Charlottesville on the 25th of June and the 27th of June, Columbia, South Carolina. And then I got a bunch of shows coming up on the East Coast in August. Please check those out at lamerly.fun. Panties in the mouth, the Tenacious Lee Brothers podcast. Please check those out as well.

• 17:42Speaker 00

  Tenacious Lee Brothers?

• 17:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:43Speaker 03

  What's that?

• 17:44Speaker 02

  This is me and Jabri. We just play video games.

• 17:45Speaker 03

  Oh, that's awesome.

• 17:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:48Speaker 00

  Jesus Christ.

• 17:51Speaker 00

  Thanks, gang.

• 17:53Speaker 03

  And Matt's in Fort Wayne, Indiana, tonight. So go see Matt tonight. The link's in the description. I'll be in Charleston pretty soon, too, if you want to go see that. Thank you.

• 18:03Speaker 02

  I like it.

• 18:04Speaker 03

  Goodbye. An optimal noctis. Goodbye.

• 18:06Speaker 00

  Or we could get like a mural of the view and paint you as.

• 18:10Speaker 02

  What paint you as?

• 18:13Speaker 00

  He is the view. Have you ever heard his opinions?

• 18:15Speaker 03

  No.

• 18:15Speaker 02

  I'm not the view.

• 18:16Speaker 00

  It's the view.

• 18:17Speaker 02

  No, I've been, nah, I've been on the news. I've been back.

• 18:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:23Speaker 02

  Back on the news. The guy over there.

• 18:25Speaker 03

  You're back on the news?

• 18:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:27Speaker 03

  What's, what's going on?

• 18:28Speaker 02

  Right now, they're talking, they're trying to get AI wealth funds.

• 18:32Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 18:32Speaker 02

  They're trying to, yeah.

• 18:33Speaker 03

  Oh, like have AI operate them rather than people?

• 18:37Speaker 02

  No, they're trying to have the money we would pay people, we would take it from companies, put it in the fund to take care of people since there's not going to be any more jobs and there's nothing we can do to stop it.

• 18:49Speaker 03

  I see. Okay.

• 18:51Speaker 02

  Have you noticed?

• 18:52Speaker 00

  What?

• 18:53Speaker 03

  You're on that?

• 18:54Speaker 02

  Everyone keeps going, there's going to be no more jobs. It's like, all right, fucking make something else. Make more jobs or something like. You know, it doesn't make any sense.

• 19:06Speaker 00

  Well, in what way? Like, I also don't think, I think there's gonna be jobs.

• 19:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:10Speaker 01

  I think so too.

• 19:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:12Speaker 04

  I was watching this doc like two days ago called How I Became an Apocaloptomist or something like that. It was, uh, but it was like a, the whole thing is just a dude interviewing people who like make AI and all of those people, he even had like the CEOs on there, they're like, yeah, we for real don't know what the fuck is happening with this. Like, it's like major CEOs being like real pessimistic about it and it wasn't, it wasn't a good, the, the point they're trying to make is I guess we're moving too fast, like everybody's trying to be the best, but because everybody's trying to be the best, we're not being careful as like, uh, like the whole planet.

• 19:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:45Speaker 04

  Yeah. And it's kinda.

• 19:48Speaker 02

  I also saw a news that said people are stealthily reversing their AI decisions too. Just like, they're not like publicly making it known. Yeah. But that's not, it's still, they're fucking still moving dangerously fast.

• 20:02Speaker 01

  I was, I was walking around earlier today and I was thinking about, uh, you see like the Mexican guys, construction crews, like building stuff? And, uh, you know how they can like 3D print the foundations of houses now? Yeah.

• 20:19Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, yeah, I've seen that.

• 20:20Speaker 01

  Uh, those guys are gonna have a lot of time on their hands to just open up the porn. Open up the porn again.

• 20:29Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 20:29Speaker 01

  They're gonna not be able, they're gonna have to like be on site, but they don't have to build.

• 20:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, they're just gonna jack off.

• 20:34Speaker 01

  Jack off.

• 20:37Speaker 00

  They're just gonna have to jack off at every job site.

• 20:41Speaker 00

  I wonder how often the lads hit a fucking jack off at a site?

• 20:44Speaker 02

  Probably pretty, in the porta potty?

• 20:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, hitting the siesta, yeah.

• 20:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:52Speaker 01

  Ay, ay, ay.

• 20:53Speaker 00

  In that midday, fucking.

• 20:54Speaker 02

  You gotta keep them busy, dude. You ever see the lads after work?

• 20:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:58Speaker 02

  This six pack of Modelo on the bike, dude.

• 21:00Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 21:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, this six pack.

• 21:01Speaker 00

  Or in the truck.

• 21:02Speaker 02

  Or in the truck.

• 21:03Speaker 01

  In the truck.

• 21:04Speaker 00

  Actively drinking, I've seen it so often. Just a guy driving with a fucking beer. It's on every road here. And I support it. Not drinking and driving, I don't support drinking and driving, but I support the lads doing it.

• 21:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, they, they seem to handle it until they don't. And then until they fucking flip the shit.

• 21:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:32Speaker 00

  Then they're right back on the side of the highway taking another siesta. You see them like, like, like not, they're not even like hurt, just, just like, oh shit, they got me.

• 21:42Speaker 01

  Dude, there's so many videos of a Mexican guy hammered, crashing his car and he, and people are filming and they get out and they're like, what'd you do?

• 21:53Speaker 00

  Just lays down.

• 21:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, he literally doesn't, he's just good.

• 22:03Speaker 01

  I was, I was jerking off in the passenger seat. The driver took off.

• 22:12Speaker 02

  You gotta crank one in a, in the police, in the cop car, if you know it's gonna be like your last one.

• 22:18Speaker 01

  Yes, you're about to get locked up.

• 22:20Speaker 02

  You gotta like thigh rub it out.

• 22:23Speaker 00

  Thigh rub it out?

• 22:26Speaker 02

  You gotta come one more time before you get in there.

• 22:28Speaker 00

  You did the act?

• 22:32Speaker 00

  What the fuck's a thigh rub?

• 22:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, I actually don't know.

• 22:37Speaker 01

  Wait, no, no, please.

• 22:40Speaker 00

  You just thigh rub?

• 22:41Speaker 02

  You just like tuck your meat and then you're just like.

• 22:48Speaker 02

  I can't believe you never did thigh rubs.

• 22:52Speaker 02

  It's crazy.

• 22:53Speaker 01

  No, I've actually never.

• 22:58Speaker 00

  I fully believe him.

• 23:00Speaker 00

  Also, he's got those thick ass thighs.

• 23:04Speaker 00

  Crazy good.

• 23:07Speaker 01

  It probably does, actually, yeah.

• 23:11Speaker 00

  So you hit fucking thigh rub jack offs?

• 23:13Speaker 02

  Not, I'm not in a long time, but I'm saying.

• 23:15Speaker 00

  What's a long time?

• 23:16Speaker 01

  But like.

• 23:17Speaker 02

  Like, since like, maybe like, when did I start driving?

• 23:22Speaker 01

  While you're driving?

• 23:23Speaker 02

  No, not while I'm driving. I was just trying to think of the timeframe, probably like 25.

• 23:28Speaker 00

  When you, when you were 25 years old?

• 23:29Speaker 02

  Before then, yeah, 22, 25 in that area.

• 23:32Speaker 00

  22 to 25, you were not using your hands and jacking off by moving back and forth.

• 23:38Speaker 01

  That's. The movement is.

• 23:42Speaker 00

  Fucking gross. Does it feel good right now? Ew.

• 23:44Speaker 01

  I bet.

• 23:45Speaker 02

  I'm not, I'm not, I'm not jacking right now.

• 23:48Speaker 01

  You're not jacking?

• 23:49Speaker 00

  Damn.

• 23:51Speaker 01

  Wait, you're not jacking right now or you mean like?

• 23:52Speaker 02

  I'm not jacking. I'm not jacking.

• 23:57Speaker 01

  What'd you say? He's been jacking off for every podcast.

• 24:03Speaker 00

  Fuck.

• 24:04Speaker 02

  I'm not drinking off right now, I swear.

• 24:06Speaker 00

  Well, now you can't be trusted.

• 24:09Speaker 01

  True.

• 24:10Speaker 00

  You cannot be trusted, dude. I'm gonna see you walking and be like, ew. I know he's tucked in between his thighs, dude, he's a freak, fool. That's the red light, you block out them.

• 24:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, the lights change automatically.

• 24:24Speaker 00

  Alexa, make the sun red and then...

• 24:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm just gonna... I'm gonna set fire to that house.

• 24:36Speaker 00

  I'm gonna burn that house to the... The pool house is condemned.

• 24:42Speaker 02

  It is. It's gonna fall.

• 24:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, the house is collapsing.

• 24:44Speaker 02

  I saw, I saw a crack in the, near where the door is and I was like, I'm doomed.

• 24:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, you're... One of us is gonna have a house collapse.

• 24:53Speaker 02

  And smushed.

• 24:55Speaker 00

  If you get smushed mid-thigh.

• 24:58Speaker 01

  Actually, it might feel better.

• 25:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, true.

• 25:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:07Speaker 01

  Damn, that's, that's really funny, to get in a car accident and just like...

• 25:14Speaker 00

  Is that a cop being, "Sir?"

• 25:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:16Speaker 00

  "Sir, stop."

• 25:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:18Speaker 00

  "I'm allowed to do this."

• 25:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. "I'm gonna break your window to get you out."

• 25:24Speaker 00

  Bliss has been watching Midwest, Midwest Safety with me. We've had some great ones. The one of the, the meth lady getting her car attacked.

• 25:31Speaker 01

  That's probably my favorite so far.

• 25:33Speaker 00

  It was really great. So a lady at a gas station and they're like, "She's got a warrant." They pull up, three cars box her in immediately. Four cops come up to the window and they're like, "Open the door now." And she's like, "What?" And they're like, "I'm gonna break the window if you don't open the..." It took 20 seconds of them being like, "Open the door," to like, five cops punching her car. Everyone just started wailing on this car. Guy starts stabbing the fucking tire. He just walked out of this lady's car. She's on meth, she's like, "What?"

• 26:02Speaker 01

  She didn't even get to, she was trying to get gas. She didn't even get to get out of a car. They like...

• 26:07Speaker 00

  Boxed her in immediately, started wailing on her car.

• 26:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:11Speaker 01

  You see the body cam of a guy, he takes his knife out.

• 26:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, he just stabs the tire. She's like, "Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this to me?" Fuck you bitch.

• 26:22Speaker 01

  She escapes too. She like gets away.

• 26:24Speaker 02

  She escaped in the car?

• 26:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, she wrecks a lot, but then she crashes later and then hides under just a person's porch. She's under there smoking. She gets a couple. She gets a couple more.

• 26:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:39Speaker 00

  She was awesome. Then she goes to the hospital and just really talks shit back and forth with the cop. Like in a really funny way. She's like, yeah, have fun working at Costco the rest of your life. You just lost your fucking career bitch. He's like, fuck you lady. He's like, you just swallowed 15 bags of fentanyl. You shouldn't talk to anybody. So I'll talk. I'll fucking spit it out whenever I want. I'm fucking, this is fine.

• 26:59Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. She, yeah, he's like, your bail's $500,000. Is he gonna pay that? And she's like, yeah.

• 27:04Speaker 00

  She was like, yeah, no problem, dude.

• 27:08Speaker 00

  I just gotta shit these bags out.

• 27:11Speaker 00

  That's 500 grand right there.

• 27:13Speaker 02

  She swallowed 15 bags of fentanyl?

• 27:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:17Speaker 00

  They yank her out from under a porch. She just smoked. They found a crack plug with her.

• 27:22Speaker 01

  Mad respect for that.

• 27:23Speaker 00

  She was awesome. Crash the car, sprint through a neighborhood, hide under a porch and just go.

• 27:29Speaker 00

  They're never gonna find me.

• 27:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, you gotta get it in before you go.

• 27:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 27:35Speaker 01

  Before you hit the clink.

• 27:36Speaker 00

  Be awesome. I'd be, I'd be so happy to be in the house when she did that. To be like, you see a crazy lady sprint to your backyard.

• 27:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:43Speaker 00

  And then light up a fucking crack and then have a police dog run under the porch and bite her.

• 27:50Speaker 01

  It's really like, wait, that's my sister. She's not smoking crack.

• 27:52Speaker 00

  She's awesome.

• 27:52Speaker 01

  And then, and then you let her inside and she goes, you motherfucker. Yeah, anyway, actually it's not my sister. Get, take her away.

• 28:00Speaker 02

  No.

• 28:02Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 28:02Speaker 00

  She's getting close to those Rens, dude.

• 28:04Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, true.

• 28:05Speaker 02

  They're back in the Bud Light box?

• 28:06Speaker 00

  They are.

• 28:07Speaker 02

  Dang, that's nice.

• 28:09Speaker 01

  Actually was really nice to see that they're back.

• 28:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, they really messed this.

• 28:15Speaker 00

  Can you hear anything?

• 28:17Speaker 03

  Uh, no, I'm not sure about that. I just can't. Every time I see a Mexican guy from now on, I'm gonna think about how bad he wants.

• 28:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, bad he wants to jerk off. I don't think anyone's close to what the mayor's up to. The mayor's the new leader in the clubhouse.

• 28:33Speaker 00

  I mean, that's the most preposterous.

• 28:35Speaker 01

  Thyra.

• 28:36Speaker 02

  It's possible, dude.

• 28:40Speaker 02

  Anything is possible.

• 28:43Speaker 01

  May I, may I ask a personal question?

• 28:47Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah.

• 28:47Speaker 01

  Have you thigh rubbed all the way to completion?

• 28:51Speaker 00

  Obviously, yes. He saw all the way his face dropped. He knew exactly what he's done.

• 29:00Speaker 00

  You thigh rubbed to completion?

• 29:02Speaker 02

  I don't think so.

• 29:03Speaker 00

  He also used to jack off on his knees.

• 29:05Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. I did.

• 29:07Speaker 00

  He'd sit behind his grandma's couch and sit on his knees and jack off on the floor.

• 29:13Speaker 02

  So she wouldn't see me. There were stairs. I was trying to hide.

• 29:19Speaker 04

  Granny knows.

• 29:24Speaker 02

  I had to hide. She couldn't see me.

• 29:25Speaker 00

  You're usually number one.

• 29:27Speaker 01

  Have, yeah. Damn.

• 29:32Speaker 00

  The boys are going wild.

• 29:34Speaker 01

  I know.

• 29:38Speaker 00

  They're ready for the Spurs, dude. They're trying to speed around this.

• 29:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's true.

• 29:41Speaker 02

  Go Spurs, go.

• 29:45Speaker 01

  What's that?

• 29:47Speaker 02

  Think they got it this game?

• 29:49Speaker 00

  I think the Spurs are gonna win game two.

• 29:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:51Speaker 00

  But, New York's pretty awesome.

• 29:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:55Speaker 00

  Brunson's the fucking man.

• 29:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:56Speaker 01

  It's unbelievable.

• 29:57Speaker 00

  Hard's the fucking man. Cat, I was, I was happy for Cat.

• 30:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:02Speaker 00

  Cat played really well.

• 30:04Speaker 04

  I kinda came around on the Knicks watching that game. I hated the feeling of it, but like, like, Cat kinda like locking Wimby up for like the first two quarters was, I mean, he had, he made it hard for Wimby.

• 30:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 30:15Speaker 04

  Harder than anybody did all playoffs.

• 30:17Speaker 00

  You make it hard for anybody.

• 30:21Speaker 00

  The way you were, the way you were dressed.

• 30:24Speaker 04

  It wasn't that bad. It was just a beater. Everybody thought it was a V, a deep V.

• 30:28Speaker 02

  It wa, it wasn't a beater. It was a deep V. He cut the sleeves off.

• 30:32Speaker 04

  He keeps saying I cut the sleeves off a deep V.

• 30:34Speaker 00

  Is that true?

• 30:35Speaker 04

  No.

• 30:38Speaker 01

  Would you ever do that? That's actually kinda, that's nice.

• 30:42Speaker 02

  No.

• 30:43Speaker 00

  You should start dressing like Sotoyo.

• 30:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, if I'm sure, that's, that's R and B shit.

• 30:48Speaker 00

  Remember when Sotoyo brought out the long tees?

• 30:50Speaker 01

  The long tees.

• 30:51Speaker 00

  Super long tees, but not baggy.

• 30:53Speaker 02

  And the scarves?

• 30:54Speaker 01

  Shout out Sotoyo.

• 30:56Speaker 00

  Sotoyo had the drip.

• 30:57Speaker 01

  He did have the drip. Probably still does.

• 31:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, that doesn't go away.

• 31:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's true. It's not, it's not all me, it's me.

• 31:04Speaker 00

  Sotoyo drip, you don't lose that. You're born with that.

• 31:09Speaker 00

  I wish we had Beez M Z here.

• 31:10Speaker 01

  I know.

• 31:11Speaker 00

  Beez M Z just breaking, anytime you see him, he just breaks the story. He just goes, "Dude, Sotoyo got fucking banned from helium." Dude, I don't give a fuck.

• 31:24Speaker 00

  King Cobb, dumbass.

• 31:31Speaker 01

  It truly is word on the street.

• 31:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, Beez immediately.

• 31:34Speaker 01

  He's got his ear to the streets.

• 31:36Speaker 00

  Yo.

• 31:39Speaker 01

  Smoke shop guy.

• 31:42Speaker 00

  Pat House.

• 31:45Speaker 00

  It's you with Philly comics, you go, "Fuck yeah."

• 31:49Speaker 01

  I always forget the name of his local smoke shop, but I rode my bike by it a couple of days ago.

• 31:53Speaker 00

  The one that we said looked like him?

• 31:56Speaker 00

  He got mad at us. We were in the car after a Phillies, we were in the car after a Phillies game. Beez was a menace at the game. And then, uh, we're in the car and for some reason he got mad. The Bud Man, is that what it is?

• 32:09Speaker 01

  Bud Bandit.

• 32:10Speaker 00

  Bud Bandit. There's like a Bud Bandit, uh, you're the Bud Bandit. There's a Bud Bandit billboard that just looks like Beez. We're like, "Yo Beez, there's your billboard." And he's like, "Yo, I don't fucking look like that guy at all. Fuck you."

• 32:24Speaker 01

  It's just a, yeah, it's just a white guy with a hat and sunglasses. It does look like him.

• 32:28Speaker 00

  Exactly like Beez.

• 32:32Speaker 00

  It's exactly like the Beez.

• 32:35Speaker 00

  He got pissed.

• 32:36Speaker 02

  New Jersey.

• 32:37Speaker 00

  "I don't fucking do that shit. Fuck you." Sorry Beez. I miss the Beez dearly.

• 32:44Speaker 01

  Me too. I can't wait to see him, uh, just in, in Philadelphia.

• 32:50Speaker 00

  I'm gonna get up there.

• 32:51Speaker 01

  See what he's up to.

• 32:52Speaker 00

  It's probably a Bonner's.

• 32:54Speaker 01

  I would love that.

• 32:54Speaker 00

  Can't wait to get to Bonner's.

• 32:57Speaker 02

  They haven't been to Bonner's in a minute.

• 32:58Speaker 00

  It's time. We're due.

• 33:00Speaker 02

  Bonner's is nice.

• 33:02Matt McCusker?

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• 33:04Speaker 00

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• 33:05Matt McCusker?

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• 33:21Matt McCusker?

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• 33:40Speaker 00

  Incredible.

• 33:42Speaker 05

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short, and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 34:13Speaker 01

  I like seeing that really old guy at Bonner's. There's a really old man who.

• 34:17Speaker 00

  Looks like a pirate.

• 34:19Speaker 01

  He looks like a pirate. He comes every day.

• 34:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 34:21Speaker 01

  And, uh.

• 34:22Speaker 00

  And there's the guy with the dog. Guinness dog. You see that? This guy with like a purple dog. He dyed his hair purple and he makes a drink Guinness.

• 34:29Speaker 01

  Really?

• 34:30Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's pretty great. The dog sits at the bar and drinks Guinness out of a bowl. Yeah, fuck yeah. I'm gonna die here. This is perfect. You got the bees to my left. Bees on the table.

• 34:44Matt McCusker?

  Bees on the table. His Guinness bowl.

• 34:49Speaker 00

  Bees in Guinness bowl. Yeah, con man is a menace in there, dude. Dude, I don't know what happens. Anytime we're at Bonner's.

• 34:56Speaker 01

  Turns it upside down.

• 34:59Speaker 00

  Dying. I've seen him dead in there 20 times.

• 35:02Speaker 01

  Every picture I've seen from there, it's like.

• 35:05Speaker 00

  He gains 80 pounds when he gets his belly stick straight out. He more, he's like a pig going back into the wild. Takes like three days for him to grow tusks. He's a wild boar instantly.

• 35:20Speaker 00

  That was where I switched the game on. He was trying to watch NFL. I put on 2010 YouTube full game and he was.

• 35:27Speaker 01

  Didn't notice.

• 35:30Speaker 00

  The fuck's going on here?

• 35:35Speaker 02

  He didn't notice that it was a whole game?

• 35:37Speaker 00

  He watched a game from like oh four for fucking 20 minutes on his phone. And it was a game he was just at. He just left like Eagles Titans or Eagles Falcons. It was like Falcons Bucks on the TV. Yeah. He's like, they're playing again?

• 35:56Speaker 00

  They got another game today.

• 36:02Speaker 00

  But yeah, I'm excited to go to the basketball game again tonight. I can't, I can't keep, can't keep away. Every day I wake up, I go, I should fucking chill. And it's like, I could also go to the fucking game.

• 36:16Speaker 02

  Dude, aren't you, not to get rid of you, but aren't you gonna be in NYC too?

• 36:20Speaker 00

  I am going to New York tomorrow.

• 36:23Speaker 02

  Dude.

• 36:23Speaker 00

  You think I hit the entire series? You think I hit the whole series?

• 36:27Speaker 02

  The whole series, dude.

• 36:32Speaker 01

  I know.

• 36:35Speaker 01

  Wait, you might be, you're like the, the guy who sits at every-

• 36:38Speaker 00

  Miami Marlins?

• 36:39Speaker 01

  No, Goldstein, the, the old guy, the really old guy.

• 36:42Speaker 00

  I ain't no damn Goldstein.

• 36:45Speaker 00

  You can call me anything you want, but don't call me that.

• 36:54Speaker 00

  Yo, fucking Goldstein.

• 36:59Speaker 02

  Do, do, do.

• 37:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, if I could get perfect attendance would be sick. They asked, I was thinking about going to the White House UFC. It's a tough one.

• 37:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:10Speaker 00

  It's a tough one to go to. I can't decide.

• 37:15Speaker 00

  It's a tough choice. Cause it's gonna be sick as fuck, dude. It's on the White House lawn.

• 37:21Speaker 02

  And they're new lawn. It's like new, right?

• 37:23Speaker 00

  Sick, dude.

• 37:24Speaker 02

  Didn't they just like make it for this?

• 37:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, they're like still building it, I guess, right? That giant dome.

• 37:31Speaker 01

  I mean, it's-

• 37:31Speaker 00

  Also, if you get hit, if, if somebody blows it up.

• 37:35Speaker 00

  Good way to go.

• 37:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, then you're sure to get a mural.

• 37:38Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 37:39Speaker 01

  You'll get a mural.

• 37:40Speaker 00

  It'd be a crazy mural. Attending to the UFC.

• 37:44Speaker 00

  Crazy.

• 37:44Speaker 02

  You can rock Trump.

• 37:46Speaker 00

  Kid Rock Trump.

• 37:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 37:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:49Speaker 00

  Yeah. Rogies.

• 37:53Speaker 01

  On the side of like a gas station in Washington DC.

• 37:56Speaker 02

  You guys are sitting around a big podcast table.

• 37:59Speaker 00

  Big podcast table in the sky.

• 38:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:07Speaker 00

  Damn.

• 38:08Speaker 02

  That would be sick.

• 38:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, but yeah, if you get hit with a bazooka at that.

• 38:12Speaker 01

  Get hit with a bazooka.

• 38:14Speaker 00

  If that's how you go. I died on the White House lawn watching a UFC fight, got hit with a missile.

• 38:23Speaker 01

  It might be the oblock bazooka. Chicago. Did you ever see that the?

• 38:29Speaker 00

  One of the, yeah.

• 38:30Speaker 01

  One of the oblockians.

• 38:32Speaker 00

  Got his hand on. One of the oblockians got his hand on a fucking bazooka.

• 38:36Speaker 01

  No disrespect, shout out to, shout out to oblock.

• 38:38Speaker 00

  For sure.

• 38:40Speaker 02

  That is the most American way to go. On the White House lawn during a UFC event, buy bazooka.

• 38:45Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 38:45Speaker 02

  That's like, yeah, yeah, they'll fucking, they'll spread your dust with a flag.

• 38:50Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 38:51Speaker 01

  It's awesome. Yeah, you're, it's Tillman.

• 38:56Speaker 00

  I'd get a statue outside of helium. The statue of Pat Tillman running with his hair.

• 39:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:02Speaker 00

  He'd be asleep.

• 39:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, so that's, we got that going on. I was thinking about going to the UFC and McGregor's coming back.

• 39:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:14Speaker 00

  I've never gotten to see him fight. Supposed to be locking in and focusing on work.

• 39:17Speaker 02

  Yeah. Who's McGregor fighting?

• 39:19Speaker 00

  Max Holloway.

• 39:21Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 39:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's gonna be awesome.

• 39:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's gonna be a banger. Well, yeah, I don't know if McGregor has rust though.

• 39:28Speaker 00

  Probably.

• 39:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, and Max has been fighting.

• 39:31Speaker 00

  Max is an animal.

• 39:32Speaker 02

  He's in his, he's in his prime right now, actually.

• 39:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, if McGregor doesn't show up, he's gonna get fucking leveled.

• 39:39Speaker 02

  He's gonna get pissed off.

• 39:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, that would be fun. That would be a good fight.

• 39:44Speaker 00

  I don't know. We'll see.

• 39:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:48Speaker 00

  There's too many cool things going on this summer.

• 39:50Speaker 02

  It's a good summer.

• 39:52Speaker 00

  I gotta focus on the Link show.

• 39:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:54Speaker 00

  Instead, it's like, I think I'll go to the World Cup. There you go. Oh, fuck, the All-Star game's in Philly the same week as my show. Sick. I'll go to that instead of focusing. I'll get drunk for four days at the MLB All-Star game for some reason. I don't give a fuck about the All-Star game. Just sit there and go.

• 40:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:14Speaker 00

  Come on, Derby.

• 40:17Speaker 02

  Let's go, Judge.

• 40:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:18Speaker 02

  Does he still play?

• 40:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, though I think he's out right now.

• 40:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, he hurt. He broke something.

• 40:23Speaker 00

  Stress fracture in his rib.

• 40:24Speaker 02

  Yeah. I don't know anybody in baseball anymore.

• 40:27Speaker 00

  I think.

• 40:27Speaker 02

  I think everybody I used to know is old now.

• 40:29Speaker 00

  Who do you, who do you know?

• 40:30Speaker 02

  Uh, was it Christian Yelchin?

• 40:33Speaker 01

  Who?

• 40:33Speaker 02

  Or Christian Yelich or whatever?

• 40:35Speaker 00

  That's a crazy pool.

• 40:35Speaker 02

  The guy who looks like Davidson?

• 40:36Speaker 01

  Very specific.

• 40:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:38Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 40:38Speaker 00

  He's great. Yeah, I'm surprised that was your guess.

• 40:40Speaker 01

  I know.

• 40:41Speaker 02

  Aaron Judge, Shohei, Bryce Harper.

• 40:45Speaker 00

  You're naming current players.

• 40:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, but they're like old now, right?

• 40:49Speaker 00

  You can, you can be kinda old in baseball.

• 40:51Speaker 02

  Okay, yeah. Justin Verlander doesn't play anymore.

• 40:56Speaker 00

  I don't think so.

• 40:57Speaker 02

  Okay. That was the only pitcher I knew, I think.

• 40:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 40:59Speaker 02

  It was my guy. Steven Strasburg.

• 41:02Speaker 00

  We were looking up, we were looking up some Drysdale stats. Very funny, because Christopher Sanchez for the Phillies would set the record for scoreless innings.

• 41:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:10Speaker 00

  For the Phillies, and he was close to the all time, but the all time is held by, fuck, I forget his name. He's a Dodger, whatever. But second place was Drysdale.

• 41:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:19Speaker 00

  From the Bags on You Drysdale.

• 41:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:21Speaker 00

  And he was, uh, one out short of tying the record. It was like fifty-three and two thirds.

• 41:27Speaker 02

  Who hit him?

• 41:27Speaker 00

  Record was fifty-four. A pinch hitter from the Phillies came in. He said, the bag's on you.

• 41:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:33Speaker 00

  Got a fucking sack fly in the fifth inning to ruin his record.

• 41:37Speaker 01

  He didn't kill that hooker.

• 41:40Speaker 00

  And Drysdale's with his primo whore.

• 41:45Speaker 00

  Comes downstairs, the fucker's still pissed.

• 41:50Speaker 00

  A light, I think they meant to say alright, they typed a light.

• 41:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:53Speaker 00

  Quick break from the show for a special segment called More or Less Playoff Edition, and it's brought to you by PrizePix, a preferred partner of the NBA. The NBA Finals are here and legacies are on the line. Who's looking sharp and who's just like a pedestrian on the court? Tell you what, there was a pedestrian on the court.

• 42:10Speaker 01

  I know. And he took the selfie.

• 42:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was pretty great.

• 42:14Speaker 01

  That was cool.

• 42:14Speaker 00

  I watched that happen.

• 42:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:15Speaker 00

  He's brand right by us. It was awesome.

• 42:17Speaker 01

  Someone, yeah, someone was like, someone just ran on the court and I missed it.

• 42:21Speaker 01

  I didn't know that they didn't.

• 42:23Speaker 00

  He did run like, the players were moving down the court too. He just, there was just a guy running.

• 42:28Speaker 01

  That's so wild.

• 42:29Speaker 00

  Lemare, who do you think's looking sharp?

• 42:31Speaker 02

  Dude, Cat's looking pretty sharp right now.

• 42:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, Cat's looking sharp. I like that.

• 42:35Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah, I'll go more on whatever his numbers are.

• 42:37Speaker 00

  Okay, yeah, you like Cat?

• 42:38Speaker 01

  Wow, nice.

• 42:39Speaker 00

  After all that?

• 42:42Speaker 00

  Uh, please begin with your NBA Finals picks. Make sure the players are playing this week. Cat, you're going with Cat?

• 42:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:49Speaker 00

  What are you thinking?

• 42:51Speaker 00

  This is what we're thinking for picks this week. There you go. Lemaire says Cat, more.

• 42:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:56Speaker 02

  Cat more.

• 42:58Speaker 00

  Fourteen and a half for Cat? I like that.

• 43:00Speaker 02

  I'd go more for sure.

• 43:01Speaker 00

  More.

• 43:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:02Speaker 00

  What about, what's Wemby at?

• 43:06Speaker 00

  He's kind of due tonight. Although this will be out, what, tomorrow? Shit.

• 43:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:13Speaker 02

  He is due.

• 43:14Speaker 00

  He's due.

• 43:15Speaker 01

  He's due.

• 43:16Speaker 00

  More or less, which teams or players are getting too much or not enough attention? Who do you think's not getting enough attention, Lemare? Cat?

• 43:24Speaker 02

  De'Aaron Fox, he's my favorite player.

• 43:26Speaker 00

  You like De'Aaron Fox?

• 43:26Speaker 02

  I love De'Aaron Fox. Love the Kansas Kings.

• 43:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 43:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:30Speaker 00

  De'Aaron Fox needs more attention.

• 43:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:33Speaker 00

  All right.

• 43:34Speaker 02

  He's solid on defense.

• 43:35Speaker 00

  All right, get in on the action and make your picks from everything, points to rebounds, to dunks, three pointers, a fantasy score. For the NBA champion is crowned, PrizePix is a preferred partner of the NBA.

• 43:45Speaker 00

  Uh, download the app today and use code DRENCHED to get fifty dollars instantly in lineups when you play your first five dollars. That's code DRENCHED to get fifty dollars instantly after you play your first five dollars. PrizePix, a preferred partner of the NBA. This is good. Lemar, what's going on with you in your life? Fill us in, man.

• 44:01Speaker 02

  Uh, I'm chilling right now. Trying to do more shows.

• 44:04Speaker 00

  Still chilling?

• 44:05Speaker 02

  I'm trying to do more shows. I got a cop shirt. I'm gonna do more cop things.

• 44:09Speaker 00

  You got a cop shirt? You're gonna do cop?

• 44:11Speaker 02

  I'm gonna pretend to be a cop.

• 44:12Speaker 00

  You're gonna impersonate an officer?

• 44:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:14Speaker 01

  They're gonna draw on you.

• 44:15Speaker 02

  Just online, on the internet.

• 44:16Speaker 00

  You're gonna pretend to be a cop on the internet?

• 44:18Speaker 02

  Not like for real.

• 44:19Speaker 00

  No, I mean, but what are you gonna do?

• 44:20Speaker 02

  Just like, just like some get, some, I'm gonna pretend to do a house call for a guy. He's gonna like, be yelling at his girlfriend and I'm gonna go over there and like, yo dude, you gotta chill. And then there's a bong. I'm like, take a hit of that. And then he offers me a hit. Then we become best friends.

• 44:35Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 44:35Speaker 00

  Is this a sketch? What's, what are you even talking about?

• 44:38Speaker 02

  I'm just thinking of stuff I was gonna make.

• 44:39Speaker 00

  You know what would be a funny sketch? If you're the cop and you come in and it's a domestic dispute and then you also hit the woman.

• 44:47Speaker 00

  You go, well, what that bitch said?

• 44:50Speaker 01

  Square up.

• 44:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, okay.

• 44:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:52Speaker 00

  Square up then.

• 44:56Speaker 00

  There you go.

• 44:56Speaker 02

  Just let them fight.

• 44:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, let them fight.

• 45:00Speaker 02

  She's a strong right.

• 45:01Speaker 01

  I like that. Is a cop, is it, what kind of cop shirt? Is it like a, just a regu, like what cops wear?

• 45:08Speaker 02

  It's like a, it's like a button down shirt and it says cop right here.

• 45:16Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, that is what cops wear.

• 45:19Speaker 00

  Cop.

• 45:20Speaker 01

  Cop.

• 45:23Speaker 02

  She's just cop right over the heart.

• 45:25Speaker 00

  Nate, can you hand me that officer's hat over there? Let's get a little preview. A little preview for Lemaire.

• 45:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're gonna need to, alright. That's cool. You could probably get away with that.

• 45:36Speaker 02

  I'm gonna do some.

• 45:36Speaker 00

  You're gonna look good as a cop.

• 45:38Speaker 02

  I'm gonna do some get readies with me as a cop.

• 45:40Speaker 01

  Get ready with me. Wow.

• 45:46Speaker 00

  Thank you. Yeah, that's good.

• 45:50Speaker 02

  I feel official.

• 45:52Speaker 01

  I like the brim looks.

• 45:58Speaker 00

  Damn.

• 45:58Speaker 01

  No, no, I like it lower.

• 45:59Speaker 00

  You can wear that with a little tharom.

• 46:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:02Speaker 02

  You're under arrest, show me your pussy.

• 46:04Speaker 00

  Freak bowl.

• 46:06Speaker 02

  Show me your pussy or I'm gonna shoot you. Uh, could you like, uh, show me your pussy?

• 46:13Speaker 01

  Yeah. No, that's a red light cop.

• 46:16Speaker 00

  That's a red light cop for sure.

• 46:20Speaker 01

  Just red lights on the top of the cop.

• 46:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, cop with, he's already handcuffed himself.

• 46:30Speaker 00

  Comes out just red lights.

• 46:34Speaker 02

  I have, well, cop lights are purple, you know, you ever see those?

• 46:37Speaker 00

  I don't think I have.

• 46:38Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 46:40Speaker 01

  I've never seen, wait.

• 46:41Speaker 02

  Really?

• 46:41Speaker 00

  Cause I think. I think that's a freak cop.

• 46:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:44Speaker 00

  Coming to get you.

• 46:46Speaker 02

  There's a red light and a blue light and I think when they like.

• 46:49Speaker 00

  Oh, sure.

• 46:49Speaker 02

  There's like the purple in the middle. That's when they're mixing, right?

• 46:55Speaker 00

  I would imagine, yeah.

• 46:56Speaker 01

  Yeah. You're seeing into like.

• 46:58Speaker 00

  You're seeing the fractals.

• 46:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's true.

• 47:01Speaker 02

  He's so high, he sees a car go, a cop car.

• 47:06Speaker 00

  The purple's in the middle.

• 47:08Speaker 01

  Purple cop car.

• 47:09Speaker 02

  Dude, it's purple in the middle, dude.

• 47:13Speaker 01

  It must be for the most, yeah, must be for the most high frequency crimes.

• 47:19Speaker 01

  Purple police.

• 47:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, how nice is that homeless guy?

• 47:24Speaker 00

  When we were walking after Knock This Back to the Mothership, this homeless guy started following us. I saw him, he was like standing in the middle of the street.

• 47:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:31Speaker 00

  And then when me and Charles walked by, he just started following us. It was like, fuck.

• 47:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:35Speaker 00

  And then he was like, can I get some money? And then a couple lads showed up and we're like, yo, can we get a picture? And then the homeless guy who just went from being like, can I get, was in behind the picture like.

• 47:46Speaker 01

  Immediately changed from like, please help to.

• 47:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, just like, yeah, fuck you, fuck you, yes.

• 47:57Speaker 00

  No, I think he had a shirt.

• 47:58Speaker 01

  He had a shirt, he.

• 48:00Speaker 00

  Might have taken it off.

• 48:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, true.

• 48:02Speaker 00

  They pop those things off left and right.

• 48:04Speaker 02

  We ever talk about this on page? Nate grew up with one of the homeless guys.

• 48:07Speaker 01

  You what?

• 48:07Speaker 02

  Nate like grew up with one of the homeless.

• 48:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:11Speaker 00

  He ran into a homeless guy and it was one of his.

• 48:13Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 48:14Speaker 00

  His broskis. He said, Crody.

• 48:17Speaker 00

  I need help.

• 48:18Speaker 04

  He was pretty high on my MySpace, like top eight.

• 48:20Speaker 00

  Whoa, he was top eight?

• 48:21Speaker 04

  He was in the, he was in the top eight. We were, we were real close. But he, he, he started trying to be like a thug for fun. Like he had, I don't want to say too much about his life.

• 48:29Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 48:30Speaker 04

  But he had like a good upbringing and he ain't, he ain't.

• 48:33Speaker 00

  He didn't need to do that.

• 48:34Speaker 04

  And.

• 48:36Speaker 01

  Thug for fun gets you in trouble?

• 48:37Speaker 00

  We could.

• 48:38Speaker 04

  I haven't seen him since I saw him. I saw him once walking with Sean.

• 48:41Speaker 01

  It's here, down here?

• 48:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, it was like in Austin from like Redding. And one time me and Sean were walking and he pulled up on us and I don't think I've seen him since that day. Yeah. Yeah.

• 48:53Speaker 00

  That's awesome.

• 48:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, it is. Haven't seen you in years.

• 48:57Speaker 00

  What's up dudes?

• 48:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:58Speaker 00

  I'm homeless.

• 48:59Speaker 01

  Can you get me the most high octane alcohol?

• 49:02Speaker 04

  He did, he did get pissed at me because I tried to fist bump him when I saw him because I still had like, you know.

• 49:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:07Speaker 04

  Homeless, like.

• 49:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:09Speaker 04

  And then I, he was like, you're not gonna shake my hand? And I was like, well, now I gotta.

• 49:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:14Speaker 04

  Now I gotta.

• 49:16Speaker 01

  Have to.

• 49:18Speaker 04

  He's right. I mean, it all, you know, whatever.

• 49:20Speaker 00

  I wouldn't mind bringing back the MySpace top eight.

• 49:22Speaker 01

  I know, that'd be cool.

• 49:23Speaker 00

  Be nice to see where you stand with people.

• 49:25Speaker 01

  Yeah. Be honest.

• 49:27Speaker 00

  I'd love to be an adult man mad at another adult man being like, yo, I'm not in your top eight. Remember you got a girlfriend and you had to like move her above your boy so you could get some pussy?

• 49:38Speaker 01

  Well, I don't remember that, but I get it. I believe you.

• 49:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:41Speaker 02

  Do you, uh, do you, do you pin contacts? That's like a top eight. You're only allowed to do nine of those.

• 49:48Speaker 00

  What, on your phone?

• 49:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:49Speaker 02

  You have pinned contacts?

• 49:50Speaker 00

  I do.

• 49:51Speaker 02

  That's your top eight, dude.

• 49:56Speaker 00

  I mean, I'm gonna, this is, I haven't done it in forever.

• 49:58Speaker 02

  I think Andy and Nate are my, and Sean, you guys are my top eight twice.

• 50:02Speaker 01

  That's nice. Ooh.

• 50:03Speaker 02

  No way.

• 50:03Speaker 01

  That's cool. Taking up the.

• 50:05Speaker 00

  There's Matt, Soder, O'Connor, Billy McCusker and McKeever. That's.

• 50:10Speaker 01

  It's a good one.

• 50:10Speaker 00

  I haven't, but this is from like.

• 50:12Speaker 01

  I know, I never touched mine either. Yeah, same.

• 50:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:23Speaker 00

  This is a good podcast. I think we're doing good.

• 50:26Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 50:27Speaker 00

  I think we fucking did it again. We killed it again. Guard Dog, I would like to know what's going on with you. Could you explain why you're so chipper?

• 50:35Speaker 03

  Uh, no, I can't explain it and I'm kinda worried about it.

• 50:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 50:38Speaker 02

  I think he's been running.

• 50:40Speaker 00

  Have you been running?

• 50:40Speaker 03

  I jogged.

• 50:41Speaker 01

  Oh, yes. Yeah, you told me that.

• 50:42Speaker 00

  Nice.

• 50:42Speaker 03

  I jogged earlier this week.

• 50:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:44Speaker 01

  It might be that.

• 50:46Speaker 03

  My jog on Monday.

• 50:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude, residual jog.

• 50:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, you know, it's nice. I feel good.

• 50:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:53Speaker 01

  Residual jog.

• 50:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm working off a residual jog from 2018. That was the last time I jogged.

• 51:03Speaker 01

  It's crazy. I still feel good. Yeah. Still got that runner's high.

• 51:06Speaker 00

  Hell of a workout.

• 51:09Speaker 02

  I, I went to 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu today and then I walked in and I didn't see any of my friends there and I just like.

• 51:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, you gotta leave.

• 51:19Speaker 01

  Fuck it. Yeah.

• 51:20Speaker 02

  I think I gotta leave. These guys are gonna kill me.

• 51:24Speaker 02

  I walked right back out.

• 51:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's embarrassing.

• 51:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:29Speaker 00

  You should have hit him with a little thigh rub.

• 51:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:32Speaker 00

  Somebody gets, if somebody gets full mount, he'll just go.

• 51:35Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 51:36Speaker 00

  I got bad news for you, bro.

• 51:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:38Speaker 00

  I'm not the fucking nut.

• 51:43Speaker 00

  You think you won?

• 51:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's like a Batman villain.

• 51:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, you really are.

• 51:48Speaker 02

  The thigh rub?

• 51:49Speaker 01

  Well, we'll just.

• 51:50Speaker 00

  Just a skunk, dude. Get close to him.

• 51:56Speaker 00

  You filth.

• 51:57Speaker 01

  Yeah. You can't hurt me. This actually feels better for me.

• 52:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, this is what I like.

• 52:03Speaker 01

  No matter what type of jiu jitsu move you put on me.

• 52:07Speaker 02

  I'm gonna go.

• 52:08Speaker 01

  Yeah. Guys, did you see that cop who came in his pants? At the jiu jitsu place?

• 52:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, stop, bro. Shoot.

• 52:17Speaker 00

  There you go.

• 52:20Speaker 01

  Cop shirt.

• 52:23Speaker 00

  So what, yeah, I don't really understand your cop shirt plan.

• 52:29Speaker 02

  I'm just gonna, I don't know, I'm gonna put it on and I'm gonna set my phone up and just see what happens.

• 52:40Speaker 00

  I think it'll be great.

• 52:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:41Speaker 01

  You know what? Speaking of this, you mentioned this a couple of weeks ago, but the food show.

• 52:46Speaker 00

  Food show's great.

• 52:48Speaker 01

  You should wear the cop shirt and get free, free meals.

• 52:51Speaker 00

  You should start stealing valor at food trucks.

• 52:53Speaker 01

  There you go. Oh, I also.

• 52:54Speaker 00

  I think a full military uniform would be awesome.

• 52:57Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 52:57Speaker 00

  You'd be like, I'm a, I was a Navy SEAL.

• 53:01Speaker 01

  Yeah. You're like, I'm actually, I'm Dornar.

• 53:06Speaker 02

  Chris Dornar.

• 53:08Speaker 00

  I'm Dornar.

• 53:11Speaker 00

  I got out.

• 53:15Speaker 00

  Man, they they killed the fuck out of him, right?

• 53:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, they fucking.

• 53:18Speaker 00

  Explode that house?

• 53:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. It was like, yeah, I remember when they did that. I was like, it's kind of sad how how they did. They just obliterated.

• 53:30Speaker 00

  It's like fucking, yeah, it looked like the Godfather.

• 53:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:33Speaker 00

  The whole booth.

• 53:36Speaker 00

  Think you got him, fellas.

• 53:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:39Speaker 01

  A a removable feast.

• 53:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, you could be the new, you could don her out in your cop uniform.

• 53:48Speaker 02

  Is he the is he the Tesla guy?

• 53:51Speaker 00

  No.

• 53:51Speaker 02

  No. He's California though, right?

• 53:54Speaker 00

  I think he was California.

• 53:55Speaker 01

  He was California. This guy, yeah, you.

• 53:58Speaker 02

  I know what he looks like. I know. I know about his manifesto. Wasn't he like dumb bitch?

• 54:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, and I think he shouted out like Chappelle.

• 54:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, he like watched stand up a lot.

• 54:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 54:09Speaker 01

  Well, I'm sure I'm sure a lot of those guys do.

• 54:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude.

• 54:14Speaker 01

  But cop shirt or yeah, full military. And then you go to, are you gonna like go to public places?

• 54:24Speaker 00

  He has no idea what, he hasn't thought of any of this. Step one is buy cop uniform.

• 54:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, where'd you get it?

• 54:31Speaker 02

  Amy Shanker, she had a shirt and I was like, can I buy that from you? She's like, yeah.

• 54:36Speaker 01

  That's so funny.

• 54:37Speaker 02

  Yeah. Fifteen bucks.

• 54:39Speaker 00

  Fifteen bucks?

• 54:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, for a nice cop shirt.

• 54:41Speaker 00

  Nice.

• 54:41Speaker 02

  Yeah. And it fits good.

• 54:44Speaker 01

  All right, nice. That's great.

• 54:45Speaker 02

  Dude, yeah.

• 54:48Speaker 01

  Cop.

• 54:48Speaker 00

  Might need to see it.

• 54:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:50Speaker 00

  Why don't we pause it? It's in your car?

• 54:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:52Speaker 00

  You haven't brought it inside yet?

• 54:53Speaker 02

  Not yet.

• 54:54Speaker 00

  You're saving it just in case.

• 54:55Speaker 01

  That's actually, that's nice too. You can put it like in your back window and like be like, I can park here. I'm a cop.

• 55:02Speaker 00

  I have a cop shirt.

• 55:05Speaker 02

  He sees this cop.

• 55:07Speaker 01

  If you get pulled over, you gotta put it on real fast before the cop gets here.

• 55:11Speaker 00

  I'm undercover, bro.

• 55:12Speaker 01

  Yeah. I don't know, you can tell.

• 55:16Speaker 02

  I was I was just watching Reno nine one one one day and I was like, why don't I do that?

• 55:20Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 55:22Speaker 00

  It's a great way to live.

• 55:23Speaker 01

  It's a good idea.

• 55:24Speaker 00

  Show going, I'll do the show that I like.

• 55:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:28Speaker 00

  Oh, I don't need the cameras. Or a script.

• 55:32Speaker 00

  I'm just gonna start pretending I'm in Reno nine one one.

• 55:37Speaker 02

  And I am Nisi Nash. No.

• 55:44Speaker 00

  You're so happy, it's very nice. The dopers, why are you guys in such a good, do you guys hate Matt?

• 55:48Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 55:50Speaker 00

  What the fuck, Matt's not here and you guys are all so happy.

• 55:54Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 55:55Speaker 00

  Does he do stuff to you guys?

• 55:57Speaker 02

  No.

• 56:02Speaker 00

  That's nice.

• 56:02Speaker 01

  That's great.

• 56:06Speaker 01

  It's been a nice couple of days.

• 56:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:07Speaker 01

  Great.

• 56:08Speaker 00

  That's good. Not, when you guys came here yesterday, that was, that was a low point for me.

• 56:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:15Speaker 00

  I didn't even come out of my room. They came, they set up all the stuff.

• 56:20Speaker 01

  I, yeah.

• 56:20Speaker 00

  From my room, I was like, you can't, I can't, I can't move.

• 56:25Speaker 04

  When I was leaving, I was like, get well, Shane, he just went, no.

• 56:31Speaker 00

  It was, it was a tough one. It's cause we drank fucking White Claws. On the way, like White Claws in the van, on the way to the game.

• 56:38Speaker 02

  Tommy move?

• 56:39Speaker 00

  It was, yeah.

• 56:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:41Speaker 00

  Every time I drink White Claws, I get very hungover.

• 56:44Speaker 04

  Tommy got them, it was the surge, was it the blue cans?

• 56:47Speaker 00

  No, it was White Claws. It wasn't, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, it wasn't, it was regular ones.

• 56:51Speaker 01

  What's the surge?

• 56:52Speaker 04

  It's just like 8% White Claws.

• 56:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's stronger.

• 56:55Speaker 01

  Oh god, that's crazy that they make a version that's.

• 56:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, they doubled the formula.

• 57:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's evil. It's actually.

• 57:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's going straight to bums.

• 57:07Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 57:08Speaker 00

  No one else, no one else is drinking those. The surge is literally being handed the bums.

• 57:15Speaker 01

  I gotta say, it's, I don't know if they're real, but I kinda like those videos where they, they give the homeless like weapons and shit.

• 57:25Speaker 00

  Saw the machete one. Saw him unwrap a machete.

• 57:28Speaker 01

  The guy goes, oh my god, thank you. I could use this.

• 57:36Speaker 00

  It's probably not the best.

• 57:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:38Speaker 00

  It's probably a terrible thing.

• 57:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, I wish you said, I wouldn't know what to do with this.

• 57:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 57:43Speaker 02

  I bet he cuts himself first. Like, real bad.

• 57:46Speaker 00

  He immediately was like swinging it. Like, he was really good. He was nice with the machete right off the bat. He had a shopping cart and the guy comes over and goes, you want 20 bucks or a gift? He goes, gift. Machete, he goes, give me that 20 bucks.

• 58:03Speaker 01

  Oldest trick in the book. How did you not see that coming?

• 58:06Speaker 00

  You hand me a sword.

• 58:12Speaker 02

  The bag's on you, dud.

• 58:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, the bag is on him. Now you're empty handed and dead.

• 58:20Speaker 00

  Getting stabbed.

• 58:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:22Speaker 00

  With a sword in 2026.

• 58:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, give me those meta glasses, too.

• 58:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, he took his glasses, too?

• 58:28Speaker 01

  Nah, but, I mean, I'm sure that's the new Blair Witch. Homeless guy.

• 58:37Speaker 01

  That's actually a good, actually, yeah.

• 58:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, didn't, when we watched it, it looks like, like when the cats, like if you put a GoPro on a cat, there's some of these cop videos that are so good.

• 58:46Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, dude. Yeah.

• 58:50Speaker 00

  Runs into another guy and they're like.

• 58:57Speaker 00

  I love those cat videos. They're great, dude.

• 59:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're making noises I didn't know cats could make.

• 59:03Speaker 00

  Give me an example.

• 59:04Speaker 02

  Like.

• 59:07Speaker 02

  Like a, uh, uh, they got a real hyper.

• 59:20Speaker 00

  What else is going on, guys? What else is in the news other than Legos and, uh? Thigh jacking off and.

• 59:26Speaker 01

  AI.

• 59:27Speaker 00

  AI that nobody can explain why it's scary?

• 59:30Speaker 01

  What else? Yeah, what's the new?

• 59:32Speaker 02

  No jobs.

• 59:33Speaker 00

  Why no job?

• 59:34Speaker 02

  Water.

• 59:34Speaker 00

  Water I've heard about it. I don't like that.

• 59:36Speaker 01

  Water's scary.

• 59:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:40Speaker 04

  People's electric costs go up a ton, like if you're near a.

• 59:44Speaker 02

  Data center.

• 59:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, if you're near.

• 59:47Speaker 00

  Struggle with the lights.

• 59:50Speaker 00

  That's how I feel.

• 59:52Speaker 02

  Data centers, jobs.

• 59:55Speaker 00

  He's saying they're jerking their gerbs.

• 59:57Speaker 02

  They're taking their gerbs and then they're giving it to robots.

• 1:00:00Speaker 00

  They're giving it to robots.

• 1:00:01Speaker 02

  They're giving it to the robots. The, how do you say robots with a hard R?

• 1:00:06Speaker 04

  They, they got robots working on, uh, like manual labor jobs, like, like regular factory, just like pick this up, put this down shit.

• 1:00:13Speaker 02

  They always had that, though.

• 1:00:14Speaker 04

  But I mean, like, like, what? Uh, but, uh.

• 1:00:17Speaker 02

  Now it's automated.

• 1:00:18Speaker 04

  But yeah, it's like a different, like a different version of it, not just like the arms.

• 1:00:22Speaker 00

  We lost our factories in the nineties.

• 1:00:24Speaker 04

  We were just getting them back. We had like Amazon. Still technically a factory.

• 1:00:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, at least it's a job, yeah.

• 1:00:30Speaker 04

  Yeah. We're gonna lose that. And they're gonna start dropping off the packages with drones.

• 1:00:38Speaker 02

  They were never gonna be outside.

• 1:00:39Speaker 01

  They drop off the package and then they malfunction and kick you in the nuts.

• 1:00:46Speaker 00

  Fly away.

• 1:00:48Speaker 00

  The eight year old camera just.

• 1:00:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, then you get locked out because you're making a face. So it doesn't, yeah.

• 1:00:57Speaker 02

  Those, those drone drop off videos have to become publicly available because they're gonna be some of the best videos.

• 1:01:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:05Speaker 02

  So old people like.

• 1:01:08Speaker 00

  Get your package, you dumb bird.

• 1:01:11Speaker 01

  Is it really that much cheaper for a drone to drop off all these things? Like, I don't know how they're gonna.

• 1:01:16Speaker 00

  Long term.

• 1:01:17Speaker 01

  Oh, sure, yeah.

• 1:01:18Speaker 00

  After like five years of it, you haven't paid salaries.

• 1:01:21Speaker 02

  Yeah. And also they're charging us for the electricity. So they're not paying for like the energy it costs to create it or use it.

• 1:01:28Speaker 01

  To use the drone?

• 1:01:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:31Speaker 00

  They better fucking do something about that.

• 1:01:34Speaker 02

  We can't, dude. We're in the corporateocracy, dude.

• 1:01:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, sleepy dummy.

• 1:01:40Speaker 01

  The only way it will work.

• 1:01:42Speaker 02

  Sleepy dummies up there, dude. Sleepy dummies farting and everyone's acting like he's not farting. I know he's farting, dude.

• 1:01:52Speaker 02

  They keep saying it's fake. He's farting.

• 1:01:56Speaker 01

  Finally, we're getting to the bottom of this.

• 1:02:00Speaker 01

  What? You're talking about the video of the, the JD Vance?

• 1:02:06Speaker 02

  There's multiple videos of Donald Trump farting.

• 1:02:11Speaker 02

  That's what you say, dude.

• 1:02:13Speaker 00

  Yeah. That's what you say.

• 1:02:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know. It's funny.

• 1:02:20Speaker 00

  You would be the perfect guy to investigate. It's like when they hire, uh, DiCaprio in Catch Me If You Can. You're one of the best farters in the world.

• 1:02:31Speaker 00

  Only you can detect if the president's farting.

• 1:02:33Speaker 01

  It's true. I think you will have to go to DC this summer.

• 1:02:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, I might have to bring you to the, bring you to the White House.

• 1:02:42Speaker 00

  I do give you permission to catch a thigh beat in the White House.

• 1:02:45Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:02:46Speaker 02

  Dude, that's why it's, it's open air, dude. You can't smell the farts in open air.

• 1:02:50Speaker 00

  You think he put it outside so he could fart?

• 1:02:52Speaker 02

  I bet you he sits in like a throne, like an emperor or something away from everybody so he could fart.

• 1:03:00Speaker 02

  I'm just.

• 1:03:03Speaker 00

  I'm just what?

• 1:03:06Speaker 00

  I'm just what? What do you think?

• 1:03:07Speaker 02

  I'm just saying dude, he's farting. He's farting dude.

• 1:03:10Speaker 01

  He's farting.

• 1:03:11Speaker 00

  I believe you. I'm with you on this.

• 1:03:15Speaker 00

  I think Trump's farting.

• 1:03:16Speaker 02

  They have to be diabolical farts. He eats McDonald's.

• 1:03:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, those farts must be crazy. AD grabbing McDonald's.

• 1:03:24Speaker 02

  Fucking the Filet-O-Fish. Not even like a big.

• 1:03:27Speaker 00

  EB's fart.

• 1:03:29Speaker 01

  Well, well.

• 1:03:34Speaker 00

  Well.

• 1:03:35Speaker 02

  I think they're all farting. Alright.

• 1:03:36Speaker 00

  No, no, keep going.

• 1:03:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think they're all farting dude.

• 1:03:40Speaker 01

  They're all doing it.

• 1:03:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's true. Finally, somebody's saying it.

• 1:03:44Speaker 01

  Thank God.

• 1:03:44Speaker 00

  You need to run for office.

• 1:03:47Speaker 00

  Just be like, I'm the only guy not farting.

• 1:03:49Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:03:51Speaker 00

  I, yeah, I'll fart.

• 1:03:55Speaker 00

  I'll tell you about it.

• 1:04:02Speaker 01

  Tell you what, this guy, yeah, he's actually farting.

• 1:04:06Speaker 00

  My opponent?

• 1:04:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:09Speaker 02

  He's farting right now.

• 1:04:11Speaker 00

  Fucking stinks up here. He's been farting the whole, he's been farting the entire time.

• 1:04:19Speaker 01

  That's a good strategy during debate.

• 1:04:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:04:21Speaker 01

  Just be like, this guy actually, he just stinks.

• 1:04:24Speaker 00

  It's a really good one.

• 1:04:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:25Speaker 00

  I don't know how no one's done that.

• 1:04:26Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:04:26Speaker 00

  It's mid-debate, you're like, dude, I don't know if you guys smell that? He's been farting the whole time. It's fucking gross. And then you get to watch the other guy, be like, ah, sir, sir, Senator.

• 1:04:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:37Speaker 00

  I did, I have not been farting. I have not been farting. I would have called fucking doorknob. I would have called fucking safety.

• 1:04:46Speaker 01

  Watch your opponent melt.

• 1:04:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, hit him with the fucking, ew dude, did you just fart?

• 1:04:57Speaker 02

  It's right in the middle of a question.

• 1:04:58Speaker 00

  People kind of spaz. It happens a lot, like any car ride or plane ride. If you're just like, dude, you fart at people? And it's like, no, I did not. And you know I would fucking tell you. I would tell you if I farted. Okay.

• 1:05:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:09Speaker 00

  Just trying to find out who farted.

• 1:05:13Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:05:16Speaker 00

  The Ocon man was in there, right? Yeah.

• 1:05:18Speaker 04

  Is he, is he good for not owning up?

• 1:05:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, sometimes, but Ocon man's a dead giveaway when it's him. He has Trump, Trumpian farts.

• 1:05:29Speaker 00

  He has farts, you're like, oh my God. I denied one. It was so funny. I've said it before, but there was one time me and O'Connor were living together in Queens. And I was on the couch, he was on the other side. He was like from me to Nate. I farted and within one second, he was across the room and he was like, oh.

• 1:05:49Speaker 00

  Did you fart? I was like, no.

• 1:05:53Speaker 00

  It's just me and him, I just lied to him.

• 1:05:58Speaker 00

  I had to come clean. I was like, I can't believe that hit you. That thing launched across the room.

• 1:06:05Speaker 00

  It was like a silent fart.

• 1:06:07Speaker 04

  You'd lie, what if it's just you doing it?

• 1:06:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, then one second later, he's like, oh.

• 1:06:13Speaker 00

  He was standing in the doorway.

• 1:06:18Speaker 00

  Man, I found, I was looking through my phone at old videos from when we lived in New York, me, Tommy and Chris, and it is really funny. The Ocon man was on one in New York, dude. It was crazy.

• 1:06:30Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:06:30Speaker 00

  He would just wear like giant baggy Rocky shorts. He would wear like American flag gym shorts. Just stand and eat and shit. He was just hammered. I'd come home, they'd be playing fucking virtual video.

• 1:06:48Speaker 01

  Yeah. Everyone shut the fuck up.

• 1:06:52Speaker 00

  Chris and Tyler, one would be in the kitchen, one would be in the living room and they'd be screaming at each other. Like, just fucking get the ammo. Fuck. Fuck.

• 1:07:05Speaker 00

  Shitfaced. Tommy was getting fucking shitfaced.

• 1:07:11Speaker 00

  God forbid.

• 1:07:14Speaker 00

  God forbid people love you.

• 1:07:17Speaker 00

  Oh, you're hammered, dude. Soon as it left his fucking lips, I was like, oh, you're drunk, dude.

• 1:07:25Speaker 00

  These fucking guys asking for autographs sucks. God forbid people love you.

• 1:07:30Speaker 00

  Oh, you're drunk. 11 a.m. I was like, you're drunk, dude. That's crazy. You're drunk.

• 1:07:43Speaker 00

  What else you got? You got one, Nate. Come on.

• 1:07:46Speaker 04

  Nothing. I'm excited about the game tonight.

• 1:07:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, the game's gonna be fun.

• 1:07:48Speaker 04

  That's all I'm... Can't wait to watch it.

• 1:07:51Speaker 00

  I'm gonna try to give Josh Hart a high five.

• 1:07:53Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 1:07:54Speaker 00

  That's my man.

• 1:07:56Speaker 01

  My man. Oh, my God. Hitting that at the finals courtside.

• 1:07:59Speaker 00

  Be nice. I'm not courtside tonight. I'm running out of money.

• 1:08:05Speaker 00

  I can't keep going to these games.

• 1:08:11Speaker 04

  That's all I got. I got nothing.

• 1:08:12Speaker 00

  All right. We've done it. I think people are gonna really enjoy it. La Mer, Charles, what a treat.

• 1:08:19Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:08:20Speaker 00

  Thank you, guys.

• 1:08:20Speaker 01

  Thanks for having me.

• 1:08:22Matt McCusker?

  Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Spotify.

• 1:08:26Speaker 00

  Do it.

• 1:08:32Speaker 07

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• 1:09:02Speaker 05

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